#ah taylor. i am so sorry

[rolandkaros]

TAYLOR TOWNSEND [USA] & KATEŘINA SINIAKOVÁ [CZE] in their runners'-up speeches || WTA FINALS RIYADH DOUBLES FINAL || 11 09 2024

[saythenametotheworld]

You Are In Love | y.jh (18+)

A life-changing event caused you to escape to the countryside—a coastal village with a small population of mostly old people and women. It was there that you found peace in your turbulent life and an unexpected connection with Yoon Jeonghan.

Genre: mistaken identity, strangers to lovers, smut Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x afab!Reader Warning: mature themes, explicit sexual content (18+), NOT PROOFREAD! Canceled out the angst bcs, just bcs. Notes: 19k words, song prompt was You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. I miss Hannie sm. Why can't he be like jaehyun and taeyong who appear in public from time to time? jk, obviously. I'm not complaining (I am). Guys it's been a while! Although, I'm sure you're already used to me popping in and out randomly. Just wanna let yall know that I see your asks all the time and most of them make me giggle. I'm just a little shy so I don't interact much. I'll try tho :> Disclaimer: I do not know them, nor do I claim they would ever act irl the way they are portrayed in this story.

Playlist: You Are In Love - Taylor Swift, Star Blossom - Doyoung x Sejeong, Magnets - NIKI, Starlight - Taeyeon Enjoy~

After four hours on the road, you finally passed the sign marking the entrance to the small town. The coastal highway had felt endless, a stretch of asphalt lined with rolling hills, but now, the ocean breeze was carrying the freshness of the countryside and the faint scent of salt. You drove through gentle hills before reaching the heart of the village, where a few modest establishments lined the narrow streets.

You knew what was waiting for you—a small, idyllic town—but even so, the retro charm of the downtown area caught you off guard. No buildings rose taller than four stories. It was like a pocket of time frozen in place, with shopfronts displaying modern signs over worn wooden frames. The colors faded but were still vibrant in the afternoon light.

You drove past the last few storefronts, through rows of homes and wide open fields until you reached the guest house. It looked much like the other houses in the neighborhood—simple and unassuming, save for the bright red roof and the wooden signpost by the gate.

The gates were open, so you let yourself in, taking a moment to soak in the quiet surroundings. The house had a traditional Korean setup, with a low table outside, a shed of large clay crocks (probably holding kimchi or fermented soybean paste), an outdoor cooking area, and other signs of daily life scattered around.

Then, the front door swung open, and a petite elderly woman stepped onto the porch, dressed in a floral blouse and loose pants. Her silver hair was neatly pinned back, her sharp eyes scanning you before she broke into a warm smile.

“You must be the city girl,” she said, hands on her hips. “Took you long enough.”

You blinked at her bluntness but caught the teasing glint in her eyes. You smiled apologetically. “I know, I’m sorry. Something came up, so I had to delay for a day. Is the room still available?”

“Of course! We don’t get many guests here. Haven’t had a single one this year until you.” She waved you inside. “Come. I don’t usually take in long-term guests, but I liked the way you spoke on the phone. You seemed polite.”

Inside, the house was warm and lived-in, wooden beams stretching across the ceiling. Something was cooking in the kitchen, filling the space with a savory aroma.

“You must be starving. Lunch is almost ready,” she called from the kitchen.

“Thank you. I’ll just grab my things from the car,” you said, pointing toward the door.

She nodded. “Ah, right. Let me help you with that.”

“No, it’s alright—”

“Hannie!” she called out, ignoring you. “Come out and help our guest with her luggage.”

A moment later, a figure appeared at the doorway. Tall, dark soft-looking hair trimmed just above the shoulders framed her delicate features—a straight nose, lips, and sharp, striking eyes with long lashes that would make anyone jealous.

There was something boyish in the way she moved. Her stride was quick and heavy, her clothes were loose and simple. A plaid button-down over a plain white t-shirt,  and pair of dark sweatpants. Not exactly the dainty look you might’ve expected from someone with a face like that, but it suited her.

“Hannie,” the elderly woman called again, motioning to the car outside.

She only hummed in response before stepping down from the porch and heading straight for your trunk. You followed after her, popping the trunk open just as she reached it.

“Thank you,” you said. “I can get the heavier ones,” you offered, out of habit more than anything.

Hannie barely spared you a glance before hauling out your largest suitcase like it weighed nothing. “It’s fine.”

You blinked. Okay, strong girl.

A small duffel bag dangled from her other hand as she turned back toward the house, moving easily despite the weight. You had to admit, you were a little relieved to know there was another girl your age in the house. You’d expected to spend most of your time with elderly folks—nice as they were, they didn’t quite offer the same kind of connection. But with Hannie here, at least you’d have someone to talk to.

Shutting the trunk, you grabbed the rest of your bags and followed her inside.

The first three days passed uneventfully. You quickly became familiar with the routine in the house: the sounds of cooking from the kitchen, the fluttering of old curtains in the breeze, and the occasional gathering of the elderly ladies just outside the gates of the guest house. You had been expecting peace, but this was something else entirely—a rare kind of mundanity, where time seemed to stretch and slow down. You loved it more than you had anticipated.

Hannie, the granddaughter of the house, was always present in some way but never fully there. She rarely spoke, her gaze slipping past you instead of meeting your eyes, and she was gone for long stretches of the day. You sometimes wondered where she went—perhaps to town, perhaps somewhere even quieter than here—but it wasn’t a question you felt the need to ask. It didn’t seem like she would answer, anyway.

When you did cross paths, the interactions were brief. A polite nod from her, a quick greeting from you. Occasionally, you’d catch her in the kitchen, stirring something at the stove, or stepping onto the porch with a towel slung over her shoulder, hair damp from a shower. Once, when you mumbled a sleepy “good morning” while rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you thought you saw the corner of her mouth twitch upward before she disappeared out the door.

You assumed she was just a little shy. Maybe reserved. That was fine with you. It was oddly nice having another girl around who didn’t expect constant conversation.

The guest house owner—Gram, as she liked to be called—was warm and thoughtful, though she saw your lack of movement as odd. She often encouraged you to explore, to go into town, to at least take a walk.

“Most people get restless after a day or two,” she said one morning, watching you sip your tea at the low table outside. “You, though, you act like you’ve been waiting your whole life to sit still.”

You grinned. “Honestly, Gram? I have.”

She clicked her tongue, unconvinced. “Hannie, why don’t you take her into town today? Show her around. The store won’t burn down without you for a day.”

At the mention of her name, Hannie, who had been quietly peeling fruit by the water pump, finally glanced at you. Her expression was unreadable, but her head tilted ever so slightly, as if sizing you up. Then, just as quickly, she shrugged. “Sure.”

It wasn’t exactly an enthusiastic invitation, and you didn’t want to force anything. “Thanks, Gram, but I promise, I’m fine. I’m enjoying myself.”

Gram sighed, shaking her head. “If you say so. But if you change your mind, just tell Han.”

You nodded, and across the table, Hannie met your gaze again, her lips pressing into something like a faint smile before she went back to peeling.

Still, Gram refused to let you be completely idle. Every day, she gave you a small task—flipping sun-dried herbs at noon, covering them before sunset. It wasn’t much, but it made you feel like a part of the household rather than just a passing guest.

Hannie never commented on your meandering presence in the house. Sometimes, she’d walk past you on the way out, sometimes you’d catch sight of her returning in the late afternoon, looking effortlessly graceful yet somehow boyish in the way she moved. 

As the days passed, little things about Hannie started catching your attention—details that didn’t quite match the soft-spoken, delicate image you’d formed of her at first. Her voice, though quiet, had a low, steady timbre. Occasionally, she’d roll her shoulders or rub the back of her neck in a way that felt oddly... rugged. There was something in the way she leaned against doorframes too, hands stuffed in her pockets, with a relaxed posture. And yet, she still looked as graceful as ever, dark hair soft against her skin, her features almost too pretty. 

The contrast was interesting, but you didn’t think much of it—so what if she was a little rough around the edges? Plenty of girls had tomboyish sides.

Strong, you thought idly one afternoon, watching her haul in a sack of something from outside. Strong for someone so pretty.

But you didn’t dwell on it. More than anything, it was just nice having another girl around. She wasn’t unfriendly, but she wasn’t exactly inviting either. It wasn’t awkward, though. If anything, it suited the peacefulness of the guest house. You weren’t looking for company, and Hannie didn’t seem eager to offer it. But of course, living together would make people grow closer.

One morning, you found yourself at the kitchen table, lazily flipping through a magazine Gram had left lying around. Hannie stood by the sink, rinsing a handful of freshly picked persimmons.

“Do you eat these?” she asked.

You looked up. It was the first time she’d spoken to you without it being a response to something you said first. “I like them, but I never really had them fresh like that,” you admitted.

She grabbed a towel and started drying one. “They taste better chilled.”

“Oh?” You watched as she set a few aside and placed the rest in the fridge. “So you like them cold?”

She shrugged, placing one on the table in front of you. “Try it later.”

After that, you noticed other little things.

When you forgot your slippers outside one evening, you found them neatly placed by the door the next morning. The first time you struggled to lift one of Gram’s large water jugs, Hannie walked past, muttered, “You’ll hurt your back,” and hoisted it up with ease before you could protest.

“Thanks,” you said, surprised.

Gradually, your paths started crossing more. If she was already outside when you went to dry the herbs, she’d sit nearby, scrolling through her phone while you worked. If you ended up in the kitchen at the same time, she’d slide you a cup of whatever she was drinking without a word.

The conversations stretched a little longer, too. One weekend morning, you found her on the porch, sitting quietly under the sun. Without thinking, you sat beside her, stretching your legs out and basking in the sunshine.

“Gram says you haven’t gone to the beach yet,” she said.

You raised an eyebrow. “She’s been trying to get me out of the house since day one.”

Hannie smirked slightly, eyes still on the road. “She’s not used to people who like sitting still.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

You talked about the weather, the best place to buy snacks in town, how the local stray cats had more attitude than city ones. They weren’t deep conversations, but they were comfortable.

Hannie still wasn’t overly talkative, but she started meeting your eyes more, responding with more than just a nod. And sometimes, when she thought you weren’t paying attention, you’d catch a small, amused smile on her lips.

It wasn’t much, but you were getting used to each other.

On a cool Saturday afternoon, you sat cross-legged at the low wooden table outside, with a basket of vegetables sitting between you and Hannie. Gram had roped the both of you into helping with dinner, which, in her words, “would taste better with young hands working on it.”

You didn’t mind. It gave you something to do.

Hannie, across from you, was peeling potatoes efficiently. You, on the other hand, were going slower, carefully stripping the skin from each one with a small knife.

“How long have you been staying here?” you asked.

Hannie didn’t look up from her task. “I live here.”

“Like, since birth?”

“Maybe,” she said, lips twitching.

You gave her a flat look. “That’s not a real answer.”

She considered for a second before finally saying, “I wasn’t born here, but I grew up here. I left a few years ago, but I came back.”

You nodded, filing that away. “Where did you go?”

She flipped a potato in her hand. “Seoul.”

“You lived there?”

“For a bit.”

“You’re very specific,” you said dryly.

She smirked. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Of course. I have to know who I’m living with.”

“Mm.” She switched to peeling carrots. “Your turn, then. I have to know who I’m living with, too. That’s fair, isn’t it?”

You rolled a potato in your hands. “Depends on the question.”

Hannie shot you an amused glance but didn’t push. “Why’d you come here?”

You shrugged. “I wanted a change of pace.”

She peeled another strip from the carrot. “That’s a vague answer.”

“The specifics are boring,” you said through gritted teeth, unwilling to divulge anything.

She let out a small huff of laughter. “Fair enough.”

For a while, neither of you spoke, just continuing your work. The sun had begun to dip lower in the sky, and you were realizing once again why they called this guest house The Sunset House. The smell of something simmering in the kitchen drifted through the air.

“What do you do all day, anyway?” you asked, breaking the comfortable quiet. “I always see you coming and going, but you never say where you’re headed.”

Hannie hummed. “I go to work at the grocery shop.”

You nodded. “So you’re not just freeloading off your Grandma, then?” you teased.

She snorted. “I have my own money and I know how to work for my meals.”

“Okay, but I have a real question,” you said, squinting at her. “What’s your skincare routine?”

Hannie blinked at you, clearly caught off guard. “My what?”

“You have really nice skin,” you said matter-of-factly. “Like, it’s annoyingly flawless. I need to know what you’re using.”

She chuckled. “I just use whatever’s around.”

You frowned. “Liar.”

“It’s the truth,” she said, looking far too entertained.

“No fancy routine? No expensive products?”

“Nope.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, but she just kept peeling, smug as ever. You huffed. “This is so unfair. Your skin is prettier than mine and I have like, a ten-step skincare routine.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

You grabbed a potato and chucked it at her arm. She caught it easily, shaking her head with a grin.

The conversation continued, flowing from one topic to another with no real direction—just small questions, half-answers, and the occasional amused remark. It wasn’t deep, but it didn’t need to be.

By the time you finished, the basket of peeled vegetables was full, the sun had lowered into a deep orange, and you had learned just enough about Hannie to know there was still more to figure out.

It was hard to ignore the nagging thought in your head ever since you arrived in town. While you tried to brush it off, convincing yourself that you deserved this break from your turbulent city life, the anxiety that you should be doing something more productive lingered in the back of your mind. 

It was probably because your mind and body were so used to being on high alert all the time, functioning at full capacity every day for the last several years that you start getting anxious when you’re not doing anything and just relaxing. You could feel an odd sense of suspicion, nagging at the back of your mind like, “Shouldn’t you be doing something?”

Watering Gram’s garden plants was enough to push away all these thoughts, though.

As you stood under the gentle heat of the morning sun, you maneuvered the hose expertly, a result of doing the chore every day for the last few weeks. You let out a slow breath, feeling oddly content with the simplicity of it.

“Are you planning to drown my plants?”

You startled slightly as Gram’s voice rang out. Turning, you found her watching you with a hand on her hip. “Come here,” she said, beckoning you over to the low wooden table. “I have a better use for those hands.”

You shut off the water and wandered over, only to be greeted with a rice cake shoved into your hand. “Would you like to come to the beach today?” she asked.

“The beach?”

“There’s a new teacher at the daycare center. Seola, a very lovely lady. She arranged a picnic with the elderly and the children.” Gram gave you a pointed look as she patted your hand. “You should come. You need to socialize with someone your age before you forget how to hold a conversation.”

Before you could respond, Hannie stepped out onto the porch in her usual shirt-over-tee combo and denim jeans, brushing her hair back with her hand, she slung a bag over her shoulder, acknowledging you with a brief nod before passing by.

“Gram, I’m off,” he said.

“Alright, see you later,” Gram replied. She waved him off before giving you another look. “Han will be there too, so you don’t have to worry about being around people you don’t know.”

Not that you needed much convincing. You had already planned to explore town today anyway. You finally had enough of the idle days, and you were now ready to see and experience the quaint charm of this small town.

So at noon, just before lunchtime, you drove to the beachside with Gram, the car packed with the food she had heartily prepared all morning.

The beach was lively with old and young voices, laughter, conversation, and the sound of waves rolling against the shore. You helped Gram set up the food, spreading it out on the picnic blankets as she introduced you to the small group already gathered there—a few elderly folks, some parents, and a handful of kids darting around with beach toys and shells. It felt like stepping into a family reunion, where everyone knew each other and shared years of memories you could only imagine.

Gram introduced you as a temporary resident. “She’ll be here for six months,” she explained, smiling as curious eyes turned your way. “Let’s all be nice to her. She’s from the big city.”

“Ah, so that’s why you look so pale,” an older woman teased, squinting at you. “You need some sun on you, dear.”

“She should eat more, too,” another one chimed in, eyeing you like she was already planning to pile food onto your plate.

“You’ll love it here,” one of the older women assured you. “Life moves slow, but there’s always something to do if you know where to look.”

Another joined in with a chuckle. “A bit of gossip now and then, a trip to the market, a walk by the coast… it doesn’t take much to stay busy here!”

They were warm, welcoming, and funny, and their playful remarks had the same lightheartedness as Gram’s. You found yourself smiling more than expected, caught up in their conversation as they asked about your stay. You also met Seola, the new daycare teacher who moved to town just two months ago. She was the same age as you were, and you felt a sense of kinship with her as someone who came from the big city yourself.

At one point, a little boy ran up to you out of nowhere, his face bright with excitement as he held out a shell. “Look! This is the best one I found today!”

You knelt down, taking the shell from his hands to admire it. “Wow, this is a good one,” you said, humoring his enthusiasm. He beamed, launching into a detailed explanation of why it was superior to all the others. You nodded along, half-listening—until something just past his shoulder caught your eye.

Out by the water, Hannie emerged from the waves, hands pushing through his soaked hair, slicking it back from his face. Droplets clung to his skin, sliding down sharp cheekbones and along the lines of his jaw. You blinked, something about the sight snagging on a thought you couldn’t quite place.

Then she stepped fully onto the shore, reached for the hem of her wet shirt, and pulled it over her head. And your mind went blank.

Time seemed to slow as your eyes registered the defined shoulders, the abs, the arms that clearly belonged to someone used to physical labor. The sunlight played across his skin, highlighting every line and shadow. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. All you could do was stare.

Hannie wasn’t just a little masculine. Hannie wasn’t just oddly strong. Hannie… was a man.

Your breath caught in your throat, and an unexpected heat rose to your cheeks. The boy in front of you was still talking, but you couldn’t hear a word of it anymore.

How could you have missed this? It was as if every little sign from the past several days were suddenly lining up like pieces of a puzzle. The deeper voice, the way he carried himself, the fact that he had never once actually referred to himself as a girl. And then there were the times Gram had mentioned her grandson—the one you thought you’d never met, yet had been living with all along. He had never corrected you. And you? You had been so sure—so certain you knew exactly who you were living with.

As you stood there, still absorbing the shock, two teenage girls approached you excitedly.

“What’s it like living with Jeonghan?” one of them asked, practically bouncing on her toes.

“Who?” The name threw you off entirely.

“Yoon Jeonghan,” the other girl chimed in, as if it were obvious. “You’re staying at Gram’s guest house, right? Isn’t he amazing? He’s like the pride of our town.”

Jeonghan. The name sounded foreign to you, yet as you watched him crouch down to help one of the kids collect shells, it suddenly seemed to fit him perfectly. 

“I thought his name was Hannie?” you asked, though the moment the words left your mouth, you realized how foolish they sounded. Hannie—it wasn’t his name. Just a nickname, something his grandmother must have been affectionately calling him.

The girls giggled, exchanging amused glances. “That’s just what the grandmas call him.”

One of them leaned in, lowering her voice like she was sharing a juicy secret. “He’s kind of famous, you know? We run a fan page for him—it’s almost at 100k followers.”

“He gets a ton of idol trainee offers. Some people even come all the way here just to see him,” the other added. “But he always turned them down. Now, he works at the store downtown. Everyone loves him.”

Jeonghan. Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan.

You blinked, still grappling with the idea that the quiet, elusive Hannie was actually Jeonghan, the town’s golden boy. Before you could think of what to say, Gram’s voice called out, interrupting the conversation.

“Lunch is ready! Come here and eat!”

The girls scampered off toward the picnic mat, giggling about something you couldn’t quite catch. You turned to follow, but your thoughts were still spinning.

“Kids! Hannie!” Gram called again, waving him over. “Come on, let’s eat!”

Jeonghan straightened, brushing sand from his hands before jogging up the beach. The sunlight glinted off his skin, drawing your gaze before you could stop yourself. Heat crept up your neck again.

He reached the mat and, without hesitation, plopped down next to you, his damp hair falling casually over his shoulder.

“You’re here too,” he said, smiling at you before grabbing a bottle of water. He seemed completely at ease, oblivious to the turmoil running through your mind.

Lunch was a lively affair, the mat spread under the shade of a large tree, bowls and plates of food passed around as conversations overlapped. The elders were particularly chatty, most of their attention—unsurprisingly—focused on Jeonghan.

“You know, our Hannie here was top of his class in university,” one of the grandmothers boasted, nudging the woman beside her. “Always so clever.”

“And so hardworking,” another added, her tone exaggerated in a way that felt suspiciously rehearsed. “Had all sorts of offers after graduation. He even worked in Seoul for a bit.”

“Really?” Seola, the teacher, perked up with interest, chopsticks pausing midair.

You, however, narrowed your eyes slightly. There was something oddly deliberate about how they were talking about him, as if… as if they were trying to sell him.

Jeonghan, sitting beside you, seemed completely unfazed. He took a sip of water, then casually met your gaze. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

You blinked, realizing that you had been staring. “I was just wondering why they’re talking about you like you’re a prized cow.”

Jeonghan nearly choked on his drink, turning away with a cough. Beside him, one of the elders clapped her hands together, unaware of your remark. “And! He’s very good with children,” she announced, nodding toward the group of kids playing nearby. “They all adore him.”

Seola chuckled. “That’s rare. Most guys aren’t patient enough with kids.”

“Exactly!” The older woman beamed. “That’s why any girl would be lucky to have him.”

Your eyes flickered to Jeonghan, curious as to how he’d react, but he was busy picking the green onions out of his soup. As if this whole matchmaking attempt had nothing to do with him.

You stifled a laugh. “You seem very popular, Jeonghan.”

“Mm,” he hummed in agreement, finally looking at you. “Are you convinced?”

“Of what?”

“That I’m a catch.” He tilted his head, the corner of his lips twitching up just slightly.

Your chopsticks hovered over your plate. The way he said it was so casual, but something about his tone—low, smooth, just teasing enough—made your stomach flutter. 

You masked it with an eye-roll. “I don’t know. You don’t seem that impressive to me.”

Gram clicked her tongue, shaking her head as she picked up a piece of grilled fish and placed it onto your plate. “Clearly, you need to spend more time with him.”

“Gram?” you questioned, genuinely perplexed by the insinuation in her tone.

The lunch continued in the same direction, the elders throwing more praises, Seola responding with polite interest, and Jeonghan humoring them without ever actually engaging. It was almost funny how unfazed he was—until you caught a few of the older women exchanging glances as if they were mentally taking notes on how both you and Seola were responding.

Oh god. They weren’t just selling Jeonghan. They were matchmaking him.

You needed some air.

As the meal wrapped up, you slipped away from the group, stepping onto the shore where the waves lapped at your feet. The realization of the past hour was still in your mind—not just about the elders’ intentions but also the fact that your whole perception of Jeonghan had shattered today.

And, of course, just as you were attempting to collect yourself, he appeared beside you. “Escaping?”

You glanced at him. “You too?”

“Sort of.” Jeonghan walked alongside you, hands in his pockets, letting the wind ruffle his damp hair. “Figured you’d need company.”

You hesitated before blurting, “Why didn’t you tell me you were a guy?”

Jeonghan stopped mid-step. “What?”

“The whole time, I thought you were a girl, maybe a little masculine or a lesbian, but biologically, a girl. I’ve been calling you ‘Hannie,’ but that’s not even your real name. Your name was Jeonghan. You never corrected me.”

His expression shifted from confusion to pure shock. “Wait.” He turned fully to you, blinking rapidly. “You thought I was a girl?!”

You crossed your arms. “You’re really pretty with equally pretty hair. Your grandma calls you Hannie.”

Jeonghan ran a hand down his face, half-laughing, half-exasperated. “Oh my god.”

“I mean, can you blame me?” You gestured vaguely at him. “Look at you.”

His mouth opened, then closed. He looked down at himself as if seeing what you saw. Then he exhaled a laugh, shaking his head. “Unbelievable.”

You smirked. “I think it’s kind of funny.”

Jeonghan shot you a look, smirking. “I bet you do.”

You basked in the comfortable silence as you continued walking. The waves were cool against your feet, and the voices behind you grew distant. Every now and then, you caught Jeonghan glancing at you, as if still processing what you had just confessed.

Finally, he sighed, shaking his head. “A girl.”

You grinned. “I’d say I’m sorry, but…”

“But you’re not.”

“Not even a little bit.”

Jeonghan let out a sharp laugh, the kind that came from deep amusement rather than disbelief this time. You got the feeling he wouldn’t let this go anytime soon.

The next morning, Jeonghan was heading downtown for an errand, and Gram suggested you go with him. “You should get out more,” she said, nudging your arm. “Let Han show you around. It’ll be good for you.”

You didn’t see a reason to refuse. The town was still unfamiliar, and a trip to the market sounded more productive than another slow morning at the guest house. Plus, you figured you might as well start your car after letting it sit idle for so long.

Which was how you found yourself in the passenger seat, watching as Jeonghan adjusted the mirrors before smoothly pulling out onto the road. He drove leisurely, one hand resting on the wheel, his other elbow propped against the window.

By the time you reached the market, the streets were busy. Stalls lined the sidewalks, vendors calling out to passersby, with the scent of fresh produce, grilled food, and sweet treats. Jeonghan was greeted warmly at every turn, engaging small talks with vendors who seemed genuinely happy to see him. He was polite, smiling when an elderly woman at a vegetable stand patted his arm and called him “our handsome Jeonghan.”

Then she turned to you. “And who is this?” she asked with a teasing smile. “Have you finally brought a girlfriend home, Hannie?”

Before you could react, Jeonghan laughed. “She’s not, but she wished she was.”

“No, I don’t!” you exclaimed.

“No need to be shy, dear,” the vendor said, grinning. “If I were a few decades younger, I’d wish I was his girlfriend too.”

You groaned while Jeonghan bit back a laugh, handing over the money before gently steering you away.

“I can’t believe you have fans in every age group,” you scoffed.

“Well, it’s a small town,” he replied, chuckling.

After finishing the errand, Jeonghan led you to a small café tucked between two shops. The place had a cozy charm—wooden tables, hanging plants, and an old vinyl player in the corner playing soft jazz.

A man behind the counter beamed when she saw him. “Jeonghan! It’s been a while.”

“Hi, Joon. I’ll have the usual,” he greeted, then turned to you. “You?”

You looked up at the menu hanging overhead, wondering what to order or if you wanted coffee at all.

Joon’s gaze flicked to you. “This must be the pretty guest Gram was talking about.”

You glanced at him, curious. Jeonghan waved a hand. “Yeah. She doesn’t get out much. I’m showing her around town.”

“You should come more often. We make the best coffee in town,” Joon said proudly. “Not that there are any other coffee shops around,” he added, chuckling. “What can I get you?”

“Uh, I’ll have what he’s having,” you said, smiling politely at him.

“Coming right up!”

Jeonghan led you to a vacant table by the window. “You come here often?” you asked.

“Now and then.” He pulled out a chair and sat across from you, resting his forearm against the table. “The owner, Joon’s mom, used to sneak me free pastries when I was a kid. I feel obligated to keep giving her business.”

Your lips quirked up. “Bribed into loyalty. Classic.”

He just laughed, watching you for a moment before asking, “What do you think of the town so far?”

You thought about it and then shrugged. “It’s charming and peaceful. Everyone seems to know each other. It’s kind of nice.”

He hummed, stirring his drink lazily. “It has its charms.”

“Well, they seem to adore you,” you noted.

He shrugged. “I’m very likeable,” he said smugly, making you laugh.

Minutes later, Joon set two iced drinks on your table before slipping away. You took a sip and raised a brow. “Oh, this is sweet. Vanilla latte?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Decaf. You don’t like sweet?”

“I do,” you admitted. “But I didn’t peg you as the type.”

Jeonghan took a sip of his own drink. “And what type did you peg me as?”

You tilted your head, pretending to analyze him. “Black coffee. No sugar. Maybe a shot of espresso if you’re feeling adventurous.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Do I look like I hate myself?”

You laughed. “No, but,” you shrugged, making him smirk.

“I’ll have you know I like nice things. Why would I suffer through bitter coffee when I could enjoy this?” He lifted his drink in emphasis.

You smirked. “So you have a sweet tooth.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Do you care what about I think of you?” you asked back, narrowing your eyes playfully.

Jeonghan just took his drink and looked out of the window, ignoring your question entirely. You didn’t press, enjoying the coffee instead and the nice ambience of the cafe.

Before heading home, Jeonghan made one last stop at the grocery store. It was bigger than you expected, with stocked shelves and a steady flow of customers.

“You work here?” you asked as you followed him inside.

He nodded. “I own it. Well, not really. It was my grandpa’s. After he passed, someone had to take over.”

Something about the way he said it made you pause. “Is that why you came back?”

Jeonghan didn’t answer right away. He picked up a basket, taking his time as he strolled past the produce section. “You could say that,” he said eventually. “I came back because Gram would be lonely by herself. She’s old now, someone has to be here and make sure she’s alright.”

You glanced at him, noting how his expression didn’t change, but something about his voice softened.

“She still works at the pear farm,” he added, shaking his head fondly. “She said she’d go crazy if she had nothing to do, so someone has to be around to make sure she doesn’t overdo it.”

Hearing that made you feel like you understood them both a little more. The quiet life they had here, the small routines that kept them moving forward—it all made sense now. You became more curious about them, but you didn’t want to pry, so instead of asking, you just took what he told you and left it at that.

As you trailed behind him, your gaze landed on the skincare aisle. “Alright, spill. Which one is it?”

Jeonghan followed your line of sight, then let out a dramatic sigh. “Are you still on this?”

“You’re ridiculously pretty,” you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s only fair that I find out how.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, then reached out, grabbed a random product, and handed it to you. “Here.”

You examined the label. “This is a body wash.”

“Exactly.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re lying.”

He smirked. “You’ll never know.”

“And if I sneak into your bathroom later?”

He stuck his tongue in his cheek, then smirked before saying, “I guess I'll see you there, then. I take really long showers at night, you see.”

You blinked rapidly, surprised at the sudden turn of the conversation. Clearing your throat, you put the bottle back and turned away. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

The days that followed were more eventful than the previous ones. You still helped Gram around the guesthouse, still found time to sit outside with her in the afternoons, listening to the occasional stories she decided to share. But now, there was something different about your days—Jeonghan.

He wasn’t just around anymore. He was in your space, in your routine, slipping into your life as if he had always been there. Like how he took it upon himself to be your unofficial tour guide, showing up outside the guesthouse just as you were about to head out.

“Where are you going?” he’d ask.

“I’m not sure, but I’m going around town again today,” you’d say, tossing your bag over your shoulder.

His eyes would glint with amusement. “You’ll get lost.”

“No, I won’t.”

But you always did. Turning one too many corners in the winding streets, ending up somewhere you hadn’t planned. And somehow, Jeonghan was always there, lounging by a store or leaning against a wall like he’d been waiting for you the whole time.

“You have a terrible sense of direction,” he’d say, grinning.

“And you have too much free time,” you’d shoot back, but you never minded when he fell into step beside you.

He took you everywhere. To the best lookout point in town, where the cliffs met the endless blue of the sea. To the hills, where wildflowers bloomed in untamed clusters, swaying lazily under the afternoon sun. To the pear farm, where you met Gram’s friends—hardworking women who took one look at you and started teasing.

“She’s the one staying at the guesthouse?” one of them asked Jeonghan, squinting at you. “You’re showing her around, aren’t you?”

“Something like that,” Jeonghan replied, glancing your way with a smirk.

“Ah, what a handsome pair,” the woman sighed dramatically. “You look great together. You’d make the most beautiful babies.”

You choked on your own breath while Jeonghan just laughed, handing you a pear like nothing happened.

There was also the day he dragged you onto a boat. It wasn’t planned. You had only gone to the dock to look around, but Jeonghan had other ideas.

“Ever been boating?” he asked.

You eyed him warily. “No.”

“Great.” That was your only warning before he pulled you toward a small boat, casually untying it from the dock.

“Wait—what if I get seasick?” you protested.

“You won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“We’ll find out when we get there,” he chuckled, offering a hand to help you board the boat.

You hesitated, but you took his hand anyway. He had never done anything to disappoint you so far, so you trusted him. And despite your initial wariness, you had to admit—it was nice. The air was crisp, the water was calm, the reefs below were beautiful, and the silence between you was comforting.

At one point, Jeonghan leaned back against the edge, stretching his arms. “You like it here, don’t you?”

You glanced at him. “I do.”

He smirked. “I’d bet fifty bucks you never leave.”

You scoffed. “Never leaving is a stretch. Maybe I’d never want to, but I will anyway because I have to.”

Jeonghan flashed a mischievous smile as if you had just challenged him. “A hundred, then. You will never want to leave, and you never will.”

You rolled your eyes. “Now you’re making me want to leave just so I can take your money.”

“Are you gonna play or not?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I don’t need it.”

Jeonghan sighed nonchalantly. “Fine. But I know I’m right.”

You weren’t sure when it happened, but somewhere between stolen pears and getting lost in town, between late afternoon coffees and spontaneous boat rides, you had started to enjoy his company. And maybe he had started to enjoy yours, too.

That afternoon, as you and Jeonghan strolled back home, he glanced at you and asked, “You free tonight?”

You arched a brow. “Why?”

“It’s Joon’s birthday,” he said. “He’s having a small party at the café. Just us and some friends. He invited you too.”

You hesitated. “He did?”

Jeonghan smirked. “He mentioned it the other day. You probably forgot.”

You did remember Joon casually saying something about it, but you hadn’t thought much of it at the time. A small celebration at the café didn’t sound bad, and truthfully, you weren’t opposed to seeing other people your age, too. Most of the people you’d seen around were old enough to be your grandparents.

“Alright,” you said. “I’ll come.”

“Good. We can go together.”

Later that evening, you followed Jeonghan to the café, which was livelier than usual. Warm lights glowed from the ceilings, the scent of coffee still permeating the air though none of it was being served now. All you could see on the table were bottles of soju and beer, spicy and fried food, and a cake sitting at the center.

The small space had been rearranged to fit a gathering, with a handful of tables pushed together. A few people were already there, chatting, laughing, clinking glasses. Most of them seemed around your age, and it didn’t take long to notice that many of them were couples.

“Jeonghannie hyung!” Joon’s voice rang out the moment you stepped inside. He grinned, wiping his hands on a towel before pulling him into a quick hug. Then he turned to you. “And look who actually came. Finally.”

You scoffed. “Happy birthday, Joon. And I do go outside, you know.”

“Only because Jeonghan drags you everywhere,” he teased, earning a snicker from Jeonghan himself. “Come in. Let me introduce you.”

You met a few of Jeonghan’s friends. You barely remembered their names, but it didn’t take long to notice that most of them had grown up together—and many had ended up marrying each other. Seola was also there, curled up beside a guy, her arm draped lazily over his.

“You made it,” she said, smiling when she saw you.

“I did.” You nodded toward the guy beside her. “Boyfriend?”

She nodded. “I’m glad you came,” she said. “Joon said he invited you, but I wasn’t sure if you’d actually show.”

You shrugged. “Figured I should experience the town’s nightlife at least once.”

Seola laughed. “This is about as lively as it gets.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “So, you and Jeonghan, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. “Not this again.”

“What? You don’t like him?”

“He’s fine, but he annoys me a lot.”

She laughed. “That’s how you know he likes you.”

Before you could protest, Joon clapped his hands together. “Alright, drinks are on me tonight. Eat, drink, have fun!”

“Happy birthday, Joon!”

The evening unraveled in a blur. There was food, laughter, and lots of conversation. At some point, someone turned on music, and people started to sway along. Jeonghan stuck to your side for most of the night, occasionally teasing you, occasionally offering you bites of his cake as if you didn’t have your own. You didn’t realize how late it had gotten until a few guests started nodding off in their seats, the conversations had grown louder, and the laughter became more unrestrained over the clinking of bottles and half-finished drinks.

Joon was already passed out on the table by the time you and Jeonghan decided to leave. His friends—still rowdy despite the late hour—bid you both a noisy farewell, slurring words and waving exaggeratedly as they walked you out the café doors.

The night air greeted you like a sigh of relief, cool against your warmed skin. You stretched your arms above your head, exhaling contentedly. “It’s nice out.”

Jeonghan hummed in agreement, stuffing his hands into his pockets as the two of you strolled down the quiet village road. “Yeah. I should thank you for coming tonight. Because of you, I wasn’t assigned to take care of Joon. He gets drunk so quickly and I have to clean up after him most of the time.”

You laughed, tilting your head toward him. “You’re welcome? I guess? I thought he could hold his liquor because he kept insisting he could outdrink everyone.”

“Well, he’s also the best liar among all of my friends too, so…” he replied, making you chuckle. The alcohol had settled pleasantly in your system, making it easy to laugh at whatever nonsense he spewed.

“You held your liquor pretty well,” he remarked, side-eyeing you with a smirk.

You grinned. “I have a high tolerance.”

“Almost as high as mine.”

“Almost?” You scoffed. “I was drinking at your pace all night, and I’m still standing. Do you see me stumbling into ditches or tripping over my own feet?”

Jeonghan smirked, challenging. “Well, not yet.”

You gasped, feigning offence. Eager to prove him wrong, you stepped ahead, turning to walk backward easily. Arms spread wide, you gave him a smug grin. “Look at that. Not tripping.”

That made him laugh and shake his head fondly as he beckoned you back to his side. “Alright, fine. You can walk.”

“I’m not even drunk at all,” you said, falling into step beside him.

“Yeah? How’s your balance?” he asked just before bumping his shoulder into yours, playful, teasing.

You almost tripped over yourself, but regained your balance in time. Scoffing, you nudged him back. He nudged harder, almost making you lose your footing again. Huffing, you shoved him, but he didn’t budge. Before you could react, Jeonghan caught you by the shoulders, pulling you flush against him. 

The sudden closeness sent a jolt through you—not from surprise, but from the unmistakable heat of his body against yours.

And you didn’t pull away.

Maybe it was the alcohol making you more uninhibited, or maybe you simply wanted this too. You weren’t sure, but you didn’t want to think about it too much.

Neither of you spoke,as you both continued walking. His hands remained firm on your shoulders, like it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. And you basked in the warmth of it, not even noticing that you were gradually leaning closer against him.

But then a sharp bark split through the silence, making you flinch and pull away from him. A dog stood behind a fence nearby, watching you both with wary eyes, still growling slightly. You held your breath, staring back at it. Then it barked once more, and you squealed.

“Run,” said Jeonghan, but you were already bolting.

The two of you raced through the empty streets, feet pounding against the road, breathless laughter echoing into the night. He nearly overtook you, but you darted ahead at the last second, reaching the guesthouse gate just before he did.

Panting, you turned to gloat—only to freeze when you realized how close he had stopped. Face-to-face, no, face-to-chest with Jeonghan, who was also catching his breath. You stood there, chest rising and falling, staring at each other in the dim glow of the streetlamp. 

He looked ethereal under the yellow light, his hair slightly tousled from the wind, his lips parted as he exhaled. There was something almost dreamlike about the way he gazed at you, his eyes dark and unreadable, as if he were seeing something in you he hadn’t before.

The cool night air did nothing to ease the heat creeping up your skin. You were still drunk, or maybe just lightheaded from the run, but it was hard to focus on anything except how close he was—how easily he could reach for you if he wanted to.

“You’re staring,” he murmured.

Maybe you were. But you were also a little drunk. And he was very, very handsome.

So you said it. “You’re so handsome.”

This wasn’t the first time you’d told him that, but this time, he didn’t laugh like he usually did. Instead, he stared at you with a soft expression on his face. Then, slowly, his eyes dipped lower, stopping on your lips. You did the same, your eyes landing on his plump lips, so pretty, so inviting.

For the first time, the thought crossed your mind.

What would it feel like to kiss him?

Would he be slow about it, teasing? Would he pull you in lazily, like it wasn’t anything special? Or would it be something else—something that would leave you breathless and light-headed?

“We should get inside,” he said, eyes still fixed on your lips.

You nodded. But neither of you moved. He didn’t touch you, but you felt it anyway—the intensity of his gaze, the way he stared at your lips.

Would he kiss you if you leaned in first? The thought was dangerous. But you couldn’t help it, not when he looked at you like that, like he was thinking the same thing.

Jeonghan exhaled deeply, like he had just come to a decision. He took a slow step toward you to close the distance and your entire body awoke with anticipation. Just as he was about to reach for your face, the gate rattled loudly.

Both of you jumped as it swung open, revealing a very awake, very confused Gram. “What are you two doing standing there?” she asked, peering at you both suspiciously.

Jeonghan, ever the smooth talker, recovered first. “We were just about to go inside, Gram.”

Gram squinted at him before clicking her tongue. “If you’re gonna flirt with our guest, at least do it inside where it’s warm.”

Your face heated instantly. “We weren’t—”

“Mm-hmm,” she cut you off, unimpressed. “Come on in, it’s late.”

She turned, leaving the gate open for you to follow. You swallowed, glancing back at Jeonghan who was watching you with a knowing glint in his eyes. Then, with a slight smirk, he gestured toward the door.

“After you,” he murmured.

You weren’t entirely sure what had just happened between you. But you had a feeling it wasn’t nothing.

You had barely finished setting down Gram’s breakfast tray when she sighed and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. “I swear, I feel fine,” she insisted, but the slight rasp in her voice and the warm touch of her skin told a different story.

“Gram, you have a fever.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “A slight fever never kills anyone.”

“Should I take you to a clinic?” you asked, but she shook her head.

“No need. I just need some rest,” she said, patting your hand. At that moment, Gram’s friends arrived with hearty chatter and warm smiles.

“How are you feeling?” one of them asked, squinting at Gram sprawled on the couch.

“I’m fine, but I’m worried about Hannie. He’s at the farm handling the inventory today, but it’s too much for one person,” Gram said, sighing almost too dramatically.

“Oh no, the poor boy,” said another who turned to you with a suspicious grin on her lips. “You should go help him.”

Another grandma agreed. “Oh, my. Yes, dear. You should.”

You hesitated. “I don’t wanna leave Gram alone—”

“She won’t be alone. We’re here,” said another, already nudging you out of the way.

“Go on, dear. Fret not.  We’ll take care of her. We’ll make her soup.”

“She’ll be fine. You think we don’t know how to take care of one of our own?”

You hesitated, looking back at Gram, but she only chuckled weakly. “Go on. You’ll be more useful there than fussing over me.”

So you went. Jeonghan looked genuinely surprised when you arrived at the farm. He was sitting on a crate with a clipboard in one hand and a pen on the other. He took one look at you and cocked his head.

“Hi. What are you doing here? How’s Gram?”

“She’s fine her friends came over. She sent me here to help,” you said, brushing past him. “Said you had too much to do alone.”

Jeonghan snorted. “Did she now?” He leaned back, arms crossed. “Was it her or the other women?”

You frowned. “Um, all of them? Why does it matter?”

He smirked. “You’ve been tricked.”

“Tricked?”

“They’ve been trying to marry me off for years. This is exactly the kind of thing they’d do. Trick a poor, unsuspecting woman into spending time alone with me."

“Excuse me?” You blinked, thrown off. “And you just… let them?”

“They mean well. Just desperate to see me settled. Been at it for about four years now. And there’s not much I can do.” He shrugged, tapping the pen against the clipboard. “Besides, it doesn’t happen often. There aren’t that many women around my age who are still single. So when someone new shows up, they start getting ideas. Poor Seola kept getting baited on her first week here.”

That sent a rush of heat up your neck. You looked away, pretending to inspect the baskets of pears stacked nearby. “Well, sorry to disappoint them, but I’m only here to help.”

“Right,” he said, his voice laced with something teasing. “Strictly business.”

You nodded, clearing your throat. “Strictly business.”

“You’re not here thinking about how you almost kissed me a few nights ago.”

“Excuse me?” you gasped, indignant. You pointed a finger at him. “You almost kissed—” then pointed the finger at your chest— “me. Get your facts straight!”

Jeonghan chuckled but didn’t push it further. Instead, he handed you a clipboard and gestured toward the stacks of wooden crates. “If you insist on helping, you can double-check these counts while I finish up the rest.”

You huffed but took the clipboard anyway, moving toward the crates while he returned to his own work. The quiet stretched between you—not uncomfortable, but filled with a hyper-awareness that had been there for days now, ever since that one drunken moment outside the guest house.

You focused on counting and scribbling notes, but every so often, you caught glimpses of Jeonghan moving nearby. He worked with efficiency, sleeves rolled up, hands deftly sorting through the inventory. The sunlight filtering through the trees left patterns over his skin, making him look almost too picturesque for a man just organizing pears.

At one point, you were so absorbed in pretending not to be aware of him that you lost your footing, nearly stumbling over a crate. Jeonghan glanced up from where he was standing, just as you had steadied yourself.

“Careful,” he said, smirking. “Wouldn’t want Gram’s ‘strictly business’ helper to break something.”

You shot him a glare. “I tripped over a crate. Nothing to break here.”

He smirked. “Still, I’d be devastated if you got hurt on my watch. What would the old ladies say? Probably accuse me of mistreating my future wife.”

You groaned. “Can you not bringing that up?”

“Why? Does it bother you?”

Yes. Maybe. A little. You weren’t sure. But instead of answering, you tossed a pear at him. He caught it effortlessly, turning it over in his hand.

“You’re very defensive,” he mused, biting into the pear.

“And you’re very annoying,” you shot back, before returning to your clipboard.

The work continued. He teased you every  now and then and you’d retort but mostly tried to drown him out. By the time you finished your part of the task, you felt the kind of exhaustion that wasn’t just physical.

Jeonghan stretched, rolling out his shoulders. “I think that’s good for today.”

“Great,” you said, setting down your clipboard. “Then I’ll—”

Before you could finish, rain started falling. It was so sudden that you both stood there for a second, blinking up at the sky as the cool droplets hit your skin. Soon, you realized it wasn’t stopping, and Jeonghan nudged your arm.

“Run to the warehouse,” he said, pointing to the warehouse which looked so far away. “Go,” he repeated, and you started running.

You reached it in no time, but not without getting soaked. Inside, the space was dry, the scent of cardboard boxes and ripened pears filling the air. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking off the water clinging to your skin. Jeonghan leaned against the doorway, watching the rain with furrowed brows.

He glanced at you a few moments later. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you replied, rubbing your arms. “The weather was so nice today. I didn’t think it would rain.”

“Well, the weather likes to be unpredictable sometimes,” he said, gaze drifting over you before he reached for something on a nearby shelf—a folded blanket. He tossed it over your shoulders without a word.

You blinked. “Where did that come from?”

“Emergency stash,” he said simply. “Most of the workers here are old women. They prepare for anything and everything.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, pulling it tighter around yourself.

Jeonghan just hummed, still watching the rain. And for a while, neither of you spoke. The world outside was misty and gray, but in here, it was warm and quiet. The warehouse was fairly large, but the space between you felt small. And it may be because the place was packed with endless crates of pears and shelves of pear products.

You weren’t sure how long you stood like that before he turned toward you fully, head tilting slightly as he studied you.

“You really don’t mind being here, do you?” he mused.

You frowned. “Well, I didn’t but if I had known it would rain, I wouldn’t have come up here at all.”

He chuckled. “No, I meant in this town. At the guesthouse. Helping out on some pear farm.”

You thought about it, about the slow mornings, the sense of peace you’d been trying to chase, the way you’d felt so much more at ease these days.

“I don’t mind,” you admitted, leaning back against the wall. “It’s… nice. No deadlines to chase. No stuck-up superiors breathing down my neck. No endless stack of workload to bury my face in.” You sighed in relief, smiling absentmindedly. “It’s really nice.”

“What happened?” he asked, joining you in your corner. “Back in the city?”

“It’s nothing,” you shrugged. “I’m just taking a break from corporate life.”

“I see,” he replied, unconvinced but knew better than press for answers you weren’t ready to share.

The rain was coming down harder now, drumming against the roof of the warehouse and soaking the ground outside. You could hear the soft trickle of water running off the edges of the roof, pooling into the dirt. The crates of pears sat forgotten outside, and you wondered if they’d be fine, though seeing Jeonghan not worrying about it made you assume they would be.

You noticed how Jeonghan shivered slightly, damp clothes clinging to his skin. “Cold?” you asked.

He shook his head, but you could tell he was lying. You scooted closer to him and draped the blanket over his shoulder, too. It was then that you realized that it was a small blanket, just enough to wrap around you but too small for the two of you.

Jeonghan chuckled. “Thanks, but I don’t think this is helping.”

“Right?” you replied, chuckling.

He shifted slightly, lifting one arm and draping it over your shoulder. You hesitated at first, but you let him pull you closer, letting the warmth of his body seep into yours. He rubbed your arm with his hand, squeezing gently in an attempt to fight the cold against your skin. It worked, though not well enough.

“How long do you think this rain will last?” you asked, slowly leaning against his chest.

Jeonghan hummed, and you felt his chest vibrate. “Not too long, I think. An hour at most. Maybe half.”

“My car is just below the hill. I should have driven it all the way up here,” you sighed, closing your eyes.

“You didn’t know this would happen,” he said, rubbing your shoulder. “Did you see my pickup down there? I didn’t drive up, too.”

You chuckled, pulling away to look at him. You were gonna say something, but the way he was looking at you made you hold your breath.

His gaze was steady, searching, as if something was fascinating about your face. He didn’t move, didn’t say anything. He just looked, and something about it sent a slow, burning heat in your chest. Your gaze drifted lower. His lips were slightly parted, and you knew—just as you had known that night outside the guesthouse—that this was going to happen.

You weren’t sure who moved first. One moment, there was space between you; the next, Jeonghan was leaning in, and your fingers had curled against the fabric of his shirt. His lips met yours. A slow, quick peck. Barely a kiss at all—just a taste. But then you exhaled, and he was kissing you again, properly this time.

Soft and lingering like he was savoring the moment, like he had thought about it and now that it was happening, he didn’t want to rush. His lips were warm, even with the cold outside. You responded without thinking, tilting your head, pressing closer. Your fingers tightened in his shirt. He hummed against your lips, low and pleased, his other hand finding the small of your back and pressing you closer. The blanket slipped from your shoulders, but you barely noticed.

Jeonghan angled his head, his hand sliding up to your jaw, thumb stroking just under your ear. His tongue brushed against yours, coaxing you into parting for him. A quiet sound escaped you, something between a sigh and a gasp, and that was all it took for him to press you back against wall, his body flush against yours.

The heat between you burned hotter than the cold rain. His hands roamed, brushing over the curve of your hips, slipping under the hem of your shirt to find the warmth of your skin. You gasped against his mouth at the sensation, fingers tightening in his shirt.

He took that as encouragement. His lips left yours only to trail lower, to your jaw, and down to your neck. You shivered—not from the cold, but from the way he touched you. Your own hands moved, pushing beneath his damp shirt, palms pressing against his stomach. He let out a quiet, surprised laugh before he kissed you again, deeper, hungrier.

The rain outside blurred into nothing. It was just him. His lips, his hands, the heat of him against you. But then, he stopped, pulling away just enough to look at you. His fingers flexed against your waist, as if holding himself back. 

He pressed his forehead against yours, exhaling sharply as he asked, “Is this okay?”

The words sent a jolt through you, cutting through the haze of heat and desire clouding your thoughts. Your pulse pounded in your ears, and for the first time since kissing him, you could hear the rain again—the steady downpour, the distant rumble of thunder.

Reality came crashing in, making you pull back slightly with a shaky breath. Your hands gripping his shirt loosened. His gaze searched yours, unreadable but patient. He was waiting.

“I…” You swallowed, looking away. “We shouldn’t.”

There was a second of silence, Jeonghan’s hand leaving your waist and reaching up to tuck stray strands of hair behind your ear. Then he planted a soft kiss on your forehead and said, “Okay.”

You weren’t sure if the cold you felt now was from the rain or from something else entirely. But it was gone as soon as he pulled you into a hug.

“But we can do this, right?”

You chuckled lightly, closing your eyes and basking in his warmth. “Yeah,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him too. “Yeah, we can.”

You tossed and turned all night, replaying every moment at the warehouse. The way his lips felt against yours, the way he touched you with veneration, the addicting heat that had consumed you. All of it.

It was just the heat of the moment, you told yourself. Just a fleeting lapse of judgment, nothing more. But the longer you lay there, the more you realized you were lying.

You wanted it. You liked it. And you liked Jeonghan.

It wasn’t just your imagination. You didn’t imagine the way your heart raced when he kissed you. You didn’t imagine the sparks of pleasure dancing on your skin when he touched you. You didn’t imagine the way you melted in his arms when he held you close until the rain stopped.

You were still trying to come to terms with it when you heard faint voices outside. Curious, you pushed yourself up and peered through the window.

Outside, it was the early hours of dawn. In the dim dawn light, Jeonghan stood with Gram by the shed, lifting the lids off large clay crocks. Even though you couldn’t hear them, it wasn’t hard to guess what they were doing—Gram was transferring kimchi into a large container, with Jeonghan helping her.

As if sensing your gaze, he suddenly glanced up and caught you watching. You froze when his gaze met yours. But Jeonghan just smiled and raised a hand in a lazy wave, which you returned sheepishly.

Then he sent kisses your way, gestured that it was still too early, and mouthed that you should go back to sleep. Clearly, he had no idea you hadn’t slept a wink yet.

You huffed but nodded anyway, and just as you pulled back from the window, you heard Gram say something. Jeonghan turned to her, his head tilting in mock innocence, and you could imagine her scolding him for slacking off. Smiling to yourself, you shut your window and crawled back into bed.

As expected, you woke up late the next morning. It was almost noon, but it was the weekend, so you knew Jeonghan and Gram would be home all day. But he was nowhere to be seen.

Gram told you over lunch that he had gone to the city to visit his parents. You only nodded in response, pretending it didn’t affect you. But as the day stretched on, you found yourself missing him.

Which was stupid.

He was just a guy—a good-looking guy, yes, but that didn’t mean anything. Good-looking guys had a way of making you think you liked them when you really didn’t. Besides, liking Jeonghan wasn’t part of the plan. You had come here for peace and quiet—to breathe and to heal, not to get swept up in whatever this was.

So you spent the day distracting yourself—helping Gram in the kitchen, reading in the shade, taking a walk along the shore. Anything to push thoughts of him away. The more you did, the more you convinced yourself that you didn’t like him that much.

You weren’t that attached to him. You didn’t care that he wasn’t around, didn’t notice the way the day felt quieter without him. You weren’t thinking about the way he always leaned too close when he talked or how he made even the dullest moments entertaining.

Would he be back today? Tomorrow? Would he have texted you if you had exchanged numbers?

Stop it. This wasn’t you. You didn’t get flustered over a guy. You didn’t sit around waiting like some lovesick idiot. You were better than this.

You were fine. Your thoughts kept circling back to him, but you were fine. You just needed to reset. Get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, you’d be back to normal.

So you sat outside on the porch after dinner, telling yourself you weren’t waiting for him. You were just enjoying the evening air after a hearty meal. You weren’t glancing at the road every few minutes. You weren’t hoping he’d arrive before you ran out of reasons to stay outside.

Then, as if answering an unspoken wish, Jeonghan’s pickup came rolling into view, kicking up dust along the quiet road. The second you saw it, the day seemed brighter, and your heart felt lighter, warmer.

Oh. 

So this was it. This was what it felt like to really like someone.

Jeonghan parked his truck and hopped out, already smiling from ear to ear as he walked over to where you were sitting on the porch. “Waiting for me?” he asked, opening his arms as if he was waiting for you to jump into them.

You scoffed, crossing your arms defensively. “No. I’m just getting some air.”

Jeonghan raised his brows. “You could’ve just lied and said you were. You’re hurting my feelings here.”

“I— what?”

He sighed, pouting. “I’m hurt because you’d been on my mind all day, and I couldn’t wait to come home and see you again.”

You blinked, suddenly feeling too warm despite the cool night air. The way he said it so smoothly, so easily, like it was just a simple fact, left you scrambling for a response. But nothing came.

Neither of you spoke.

Instead, you just stood there, staring at each other in the warm porch light. He didn’t even try to laugh it off or take it back so your heart thudded a little harder, unsure what to make of this.

Then, the front door creaked open, and Gram stepped out. “Hannie, you’re back so soon,” she greeted, eyeing him up and down. “Have you had dinner yet?”

“I did,” he answered, stepping back slightly. “I picked up something to eat on my way here.”

Gram huffed. “You should get some rest, then. You must be tired. Why didn’t you just spend the night at your parents’ house? Driving back and forth like that—” She gave him a knowing look, voice lilting with mischief. “It almost seems like you were excited to come home for some reason.”

You caught the implication immediately. Jeonghan did too, if the way he smirked was any indication.

“You’re right, Gram,” he said without missing a beat. Then, with a glance at you, he added, “Actually, I was wondering if I could take the reason out for a stroll.”

Gram barely spared him a glance as she waved a hand dismissively. “Do whatever you want.” She turned back toward the house, muttering, “Young people these days. So forward. Too liberated.”

And just like that, she was gone. You, however, were still standing there, completely dumbfounded.

You turned to Jeonghan, who was watching you with an all-too-pleased expression. He tilted his head toward the road.

“So? You coming?”

You walked in silence for the first few minutes. You were expecting Jeonghan to start the conversation because, obviously, he should be the one making conversation. There were plenty of things he could start with, like clarifying what he meant when he implied that you were the reason he chose to come home right away despite the long drive.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” he finally asked, leaning down slightly to peek at your face.

You turned away. “No. What would I even say to you?”

Jeonghan straightened up, huffing. “I practically spelled it out for you, and you have nothing to say?”

You stopped in your tracks, exhaling sharply as you ran a hand over your nape. “Okay, what the hell is this? How about communicating clearly and more openly like grown adults  instead of whatever this is?”

Jeonghan turned fully to face you. His expression was unreadable, but his voice was light when he said, “I like you.”

For a second, your mind went completely blank. You opened your mouth, then closed it, then let out a breath. “Are you sure?”

His brows furrowed. “What kind of question is that?”

“I mean—” You gestured vaguely. “It’s not just because of yesterday? Maybe it’s a momentary lapse of judgment. We kissed, and there was…” You hesitated to say it. “...a moment, and now you think you like me because of it.”

Jeonghan tilted his head, then asked, “Are you drunk?”

“No.” You shot him a look. “Jeonghan, I’m serious.”

He chuckled, but when he spoke again, he was serious. “No, it’s not just because of yesterday. I don’t pull something like that on just anyone. I’ve liked you for a while now.”

“Why?”

He grimaced, like he couldn’t believe you had to ask. “What do you mean why? Because I do. You’re pretty and nice. You’re smart. You’re good with kids, good with elders.” His voice was steady, without hesitation. “I’m not in love with you or anything. Not yet, at least. I just think you’re… amazing. And honestly, I wasn’t planning to act on it.”

You frowned. “Then why are you?”

“Because,” he said, watching you closely, “I think you like me too.”

Your pulse quickened. “No, I don’t,” you lied, shamelessly.

Jeonghan’s was menacingly confident. “Yes, you do.”

You rolled your eyes and walked ahead, heading straight for the beach. He followed closely behind, undeterred. “Come on, I’m being honest here.”

“Well, what do you want me to do about that?” you asked, not even glancing back.

“Nothing. Just—” He caught up to you and slipped his hand into yours. “At least tell me you heard what I said.”

“I did.”

“So? What do you think?”

You sighed, pulling your hand back. “I haven’t thought about it yet.”

And truly, you hadn’t. You liked him too, yes. But what to do about it? You hadn’t thought that far ahead. Did you want a relationship with him? Were you going to act on your feelings or pretend none of this ever happened? You haven’t decided yet.

That didn’t seem to discourage him, though. If anything, his smile turned triumphant. “So you’re gonna think about it?”

“Even if I do, there’s no guarantee that—”

“It’s alright,” he cut you off, grinning. “I know I can change your mind.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re making me want to reject you just to spite you.”

Jeonghan laughed, his head tipping back as he did. “You can try, but you wouldn’t want to.”

That made you laugh, too, though you weren’t sure if it was because it was funny or because he was right. Either way, it didn’t matter. You shook your head, exhaling sharply. “You’re really confident, huh?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “It’s not confidence. I just know I’m right.”

You scoffed, lightly kicking sand at him. He dodged with a laugh, but you caught the way he was still looking at you—like he already knew what you’d decide.

You weren’t sure exactly when Jeonghan decided to start his little mission, but once he did, it became impossible to ignore. Maybe it was when he started showing up more often, always finding excuses to be around you. Maybe it was when he started helping you without being asked—fixing the latch on your door when it got stuck, carrying things before you could, slipping you an extra slice of fruit without a word.

Or maybe it was when he stopped being subtle about it.

“You’re really going all out with this, aren’t you?” you asked him one afternoon when he took the heavy bag of groceries from your hands. One moment, you were struggling with the weight, and the next, he was lifting it effortlessly—like he’d been waiting for the chance.

“This isn’t even half of it.” He flashed you a smile. “Date me for real, and I’ll show you what all-out really means.”

At first, it was playful, something you could brush off. Jeonghan was naturally charming; he knew exactly what to say and how to say it to fluster you.

“If you keep staring at me like that, I might get the wrong idea,” he’d tease whenever you so much as glanced his way.

But then there were moments when the teasing fell away, leaving something else in its place.

One evening, after a long day, you sat on the porch, stretching your legs and watching the sky change from gold to deep blue. Jeonghan appeared beside you, holding two cups of tea. He handed you one without a word, then sat down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed.

You took a sip, the warmth spreading through you. “Did you make this?”

“I did,” he said, propping himself on his hands. “Gram told me you liked this kind.”

You turned to look at him, but he was already watching you. The usual mischief in his eyes had softened into something else. You looked away first.

But if his actions weren’t enough, he made sure everyone else knew he liked you, too.

It wasn’t over the top—no grand declarations or dramatic gestures. Jeonghan was smoother than that. He let people assume what they wanted and simply confirmed it with a smile. He wove it so naturally into conversations that it left no room for argument.

“You’re a good boy, Jeonghan,” a man at the market told him one day. “I should introduce you to my niece. She’s a lovely girl—smart, well-mannered—”

Jeonghan barely let him finish before shaking his head. “Ah, that won’t be necessary,” he said, glancing at you. “I already have someone I like.”

The man’s gaze flickered between you both before he let out a knowing laugh. “Oh, I see. You two make a nice couple.”

Before you could open your mouth to correct him, Jeonghan sighed dramatically. “I know, right? But she’s making me work for it.”

“Well, keep at it then.”

You groaned, moving to another stall before he could make it worse. But it didn’t stop there. As you browsed through vegetables, another vendor—a woman in her forties—raised an eyebrow at you. “You two seem close,” she said knowingly. “Are you finally together?”

Jeonghan sighed again, this time heavier, as if burdened. “Not yet. She’s making me suffer.”

You turned to glare at him. “Oh my god, stop saying that.”

The vendor laughed. “Smart girl. Make him work for it, dear.”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

At the market, the vendors chuckled and nodded approvingly when he sighed about how hard he was working to win you over. At the café, the barista raised an eyebrow when Jeonghan ordered your drink before you could even say it.

“He’s already ordering for you,” she mused, sliding the cup across the counter. “Boyfriend privileges?”

Jeonghan took the cup and handed it to you without missing a beat. “Not yet, but I’m working on it.”

You swatted his arm. “Why do you keep telling everyone that?”

“What? It’s true.” He looked at the barista. “She is making me work for it.”

The barista laughed. “Sounds like you’ve got a good shot.”

“Exactly.” He flashed her a grin before steering you toward a table.

Then there were the aunties. The older women in town had a habit of doting on Jeonghan whenever they saw him, always fussing over how handsome he was, how polite. And, naturally, they always tried to set him up with their nieces or granddaughters.

“You’re not seeing anyone, right, Hannie?” one of them asked one afternoon as you both helped carry groceries to her house.

“No, but I’m trying,” Jeonghan replied.

The auntie’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Well, dear, you should consider it. He’s a catch.”

Jeonghan turned to you, smirking. “Hear that? I’m a catch.”

You rolled your eyes and walked off, pretending not to hear the rest of their conversation.

But despite all his teasing, despite how easy he made it seem, you could tell he meant it. The way he always lingered close, the way he took things from your hands without asking so you wouldn’t have to carry them, the way he looked at you—warm, steady, reassuring. He wasn’t playing around.

Soon, three months had passed and the town’s founding anniversary festival came. The celebration took place at the townhall by the beach, with tables stretched across the clearing. The scent of grilled fish and food blended with the salty breeze, and children ran barefoot across the sand, shrieking as they chased each other. It was the kind of gathering that felt timeless, a tradition that was part of the town itself.

You watched from the shade of a large tree, with a cup of cold barley tea in your hands. The scene before you was lively, familiar now, yet something inside you was restless.

Jeonghan was at the center of it all.

You weren’t sure when you lost track of him, but now, across the clearing, you spotted him with a group of aunties fussing over him. One of them reached up to pinch his cheek, scolding him for not eating enough, and he only laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder and promising to come by for dinner next week. Not far from them, a group of kids tugged at his sleeves, demanding that he join their game. He let them drag him off with a grin, playfully ruffling a boy’s hair as they ran.

He was so at home here. And a strange feeling twisted in your chest as you took it all in—the way people naturally gravitated toward him, the way he moved through the crowd like he belonged, because he did. He had a place here, something his, something permanent.

And you… you were just passing through. A guest in their steady everyday life.

Strong breeze rustled the trees overhead, and you exhaled, as if trying to shake the thoughts away. It shouldn’t matter. You knew from the start that this was temporary, that eventually, you’d have to leave. Which was why the idea of starting something with him felt so selfish.

Across the clearing, Jeonghan’s gaze caught yours and the smile that tore across his lips made your heart melt. You smiled back as he chased the kids away and started jogging toward you.

“Why do you look like that?” he asked as soon as he was sat next to you.

You blinked. “Like what?”

He carefully grabbed the cup from your hand and took a sip. “Like you’re about to cry.”

You huffed, smiling sheepishly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jeonghan crouched beside you, resting his forearms on his knees, watching you carefully. “You’re thinking too hard about something,” he said. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing.” You looked away, but he reached out, gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

“You’re a bad liar.”

You sighed. “It’s just… it’s really nice here,” you admitted, gesturing toward the gathering. “You’re really part of this town, aren’t you?”

Jeonghan tilted his head. “Of course. I grew up here.”

“Exactly.” You let out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “You belong here, Jeonghan. This is your home. And I’m just a guest.”

He studied you for a second, then said, “Is that what this is about?”

You shook your head, but it was unconvincing, even to yourself. Jeonghan exhaled, then reached up, lightly flicking your forehead. 

You winced. “Ow—what was that for?”

“For being stupid.” He rested his chin on his hand. “You think just because I’ve lived here longer, that means I belong here more than you?”

“You do, though,” you muttered.

“Maybe.” His gaze softened. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t.”

You opened your mouth, but no words came. Because wasn’t that the problem? No matter how much you loved this town, it wasn’t yours. And if you started something with him, would it really be fair, knowing you’d have to leave eventually?

Jeonghan must have sensed your hesitation because his lips curved into a small, knowing smile. “You’re thinking too much.”

“I can’t help it,” you chuckled.

“It’s okay.” He reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Just don’t talk yourself out of liking me.”

Shaking your head with a grin, you said, “I’ll try.”

“Good,” he replied, still holding your hand, thumb brushing absentmindedly against your skin.

You were staring at each other when someone called your name. “Enough with the eyes! Come help us with the lanterns,” one of the women called, waving you over to where a group of ladies sat beneath a pavilion.

Jeonghan rose to his feet, patting his knees as he said, “Go on, then.” 

But before you could pull away, he leaned in to press a quick peck to your cheek. Your skin burned as a chorus of delighted gasps and giggles erupted from the women.

“Oh my,” someone cooed.

You turned to glare at Jeonghan but he was already walking away with a satisfied grin. “I’ll see you later,” he said casually, hands in his pockets like he hadn’t just done that in broad daylight, in front of an entire audience.

You inhaled sharply, willing your face to cool before reluctantly stepping toward the pavilion. It didn’t help that all eyes were on you, their smirks making it painfully clear that you were about to be teased the moment you step under that shade.

“Oh, look at her,” one of them teased, nudging another. “Her face is all red.”

“About time, don’t you think?” another woman drawled, folding the paper carefully over the frame. “They’ve been at it for weeks now. It’s a wonder why they’re not dating yet.”

“You’re not?” asked one, turning to you with curious eyes.

You blinked, chuckling awkwardly as you sat down. “No. We’re not.” 

You glanced around at the lanterns in progress, carefully folded and held together with thin wooden frames. “So how does this work?” you asked, steering the conversation elsewhere.

“Ah, you’ve never done this before?” one of them asked, already making space in front of you. “Here. let me show you.”

“Flying lanterns are part of the festival. Every year, we make these, light them up at night and send them out to sea,” another explained, demonstrating how to fasten the frame together. “Most people make wishes on them before letting them go.”

You nodded, watching her hands. “That’s nice.”

“It is,” she agreed. “Some people write their wishes down, but most just send them off and let fate handle the rest.”

The conversation wandered after that. The women shared stories about past festivals, about childhood memories, about their work, their families. Some had left the town for a time but eventually returned. Others had never left at all and found both their purpose and their love in this small town.

“Isn’t it funny how life works?” one of them mused. “Some of us spend years wanting to leave, only to realize later that there’s nowhere else we’d rather be.”

A few nodded in agreement, their expressions wistful. You listened quietly, fingers tracing the smooth paper of your lantern. 

You never thought about staying, not once. This town had been an escape, a peaceful pause in your fast-paced life. But somehow, it kept drawing you in. You used to feel like a visitor passing through, but then there were mornings spent sipping tea with Gram, evenings watching the fishermen return with their catch, and nights when laughter—yours and Jeonghan’s—echoed through the town. Eventually, it got to a point where when you looked up, the sky was no longer unfamiliar. The people here weren’t strangers anymore.

And Jeonghan…

“You know,” another woman started, glancing at you with a knowing smile, “there’s a popular myth about these lanterns.”

That got your attention. “A myth?”

“It’s probably just that, a myth with no truth to it,” she said lightly, her hands expertly tying a knot, “but it’s been passed down longer than anyone can remember. They say that you can make wishes when you send out a lantern, but if you send one with your lover, it’s a wish to stay together forever.”

You smiled, finding it unsurprisingly typical but interesting nonetheless. “That’s… romantic.”

“That’s why couples always do it together,” another woman added, grinning. “It’s tradition.”

The first woman turned to you again. “Has Jeonghan asked you to send one with him yet?”

You blinked, caught off-guard by the question. Then again, you should have expected the conversation to take this turn. Before you could answer, another woman let out a laugh. “Of course he has! He wouldn’t miss the chance.”

You pressed your lips together, knowing there was no way out of this. If you admitted that Jeonghan hadn’t asked, they’d tease him mercilessly. If you denied everything outright, they wouldn’t believe you. So instead, you focused on your lantern, pretending to be engrossed in aligning the edges.

The women continued chatting around you, discussing the upcoming lantern release, while your thoughts drifted.

Jeonghan hadn’t asked you to send one with him. Would he?

And if he did… would you say yes?

You waited for him to ask. Maybe it was foolish, but as the day stretched into the night and festivalgoers started making their way to the beach with lanterns in hand, you kept expecting Jeonghan to turn to you and say something. An invitation, even a playful one—anything that would suggest he wanted to go together.

But he never did. And somehow, you still ended up going with him. Not that you were expecting to go with someone else.

There was a mini talent show by the beach, with townsfolk participating by singing or dancing. Jeonghan had simply taken your hand and led you away from the main stage, settling on a low stone wall far from the noise of the crowd. From where you sat, the music was still within reach but the space around you was quiet.

He left to get food and returned not too long after, making you raise an eyebrow. “That was quick.”

Jeonghan handed you a skewer with a smirk. “Don’t ask, just eat.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, but you still took the food. You talked over the hearty food. He complained about how long the lines were, you accused him of cutting them. He neither confirmed nor denied it, only smiled in that way that said maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.

At some point, his gaze drifted to the lantern resting beside you.

“Did you make that?”

You hummed, nodding. “Where’s yours?”

He stretched his legs out, leaning back on his hands. “I don’t need one.”

You glanced at him. “Why not?” You instinctively pushed the lanter away from him. “You are not taking mine.” 

He frowned. “Are you saying you don’t want to send one together?”

You stared at him, heat creeping up your cheeks. “W–What are you talking about?”

Jeonghan smirked teasingly. “So you already know the myth?”

You blinked but didn’t say anything. He turned his head toward you. “You’re not gonna make me go light one alone, will you?”

You scoffed. “Is this how you’re gonna ask me to light one with you? Surely you can do better.”

“Asking is for people who don’t get what they want.”

You let out an incredulous laugh and rolled your eyes. “Have fun lighting one by yourself then.”

He hummed, seemingly satisfied. For a moment, the conversation paused, the music from a young girl singing a ballad echoing through the cool night air. The warm glow of festival lights flickered over Jeonghan’s features as he watched you eat quietly and watch the show.

Then, in a quieter voice, he said, “What would you wish for?”

That made you glance at him, looking away just as quickly when you saw the fond look in his eyes. You cleared your throat. “I don’t know. Peace, maybe.”

Jeonghan chuckled. “Like world peace? That’s so generic.”

“No. Peace in my own life,” you corrected, scoffing.

He hummed. “That’s not what most people wish for.”

“Yeah? What do most people wish for?”

He leaned back on his hands again, gazing toward the dark sea. “Love, money… fame?” He smirked. “A kiss under the fireworks.”

You chuckled. “That last one sounds oddly specific.”

“Does it?” His tone was light, but his eyes flickered back to you, holding yours for a second too long.

You looked away first, exhaling. “I think peace is a good wish.”

Jeonghan didn’t reply right away. “Is that why you left the city?” he asked eventually.

There it was, the question about your life and choices. Somehow, it didn’t feel as jarring as the previous times he tried to bring it up. Maybe because you wanted to tell him this time.

You pressed your lips together before answering. “I got fired for exposing a senior executive who sexually harassed one of my coworkers. Long story short, the company protected him and I got fired. I sued for wrongful termination but my own lawyer told me to back down, said the fight wasn’t worth it. They were too big and I was too small.”

Jeonghan’s expression hardened slightly. “So you gave up?”

“I didn’t at first,” you murmured. “But they made sure no one else would hire me. There spread rumors about me. That I leak information to rival companies. None of it was true, but in my field, something like leaking information is a big deal. It was enough to ruin me.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything at first, but his jaw clenched. “That’s bullshit.”

You let out a breath of a laugh. “It was. But I had no choice so I took the settlement and left. I just… wanted to be somewhere far away. I needed a temporary escape.”

“Temporary?” he echoed.

You glanced at him, only to find him still watching you intently.

You hesitated, fingers curling around the wooden frame of the lantern. You thought about the town, about the people who had unknowingly made space for you in their world. About Jeonghan who had secured a place for himself in your heart. And about you who had slowly started to belong here.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I think I’m starting to change my mind.”

Jeonghan didn’t speak, just watched you, his gaze steady in the lantern-lit dark. Then he leaned in, slowly. You weren’t sure if you moved too, only that suddenly he was too close, his eyes flickering to your lips. His fingers brushed over yours on the cool concrete, squeezing as he continued leaning closer.

And just when your lips were about to meet, a loud boom echoed the air, and the sky erupted into colors.

You were startled, glancing at the sky as fireworks exploded in bursts of gold and red, reflecting in your eyes. Beside you, Jeonghan chuckled. “You wished for a kiss under the fireworks, didn’t you?”

You burst out laughing. “Shut up.”

He grinned, jumping down the ledge and nodding toward the crowd gathering by the beach. “Let’s go. They’re starting.”

You scrambled to grab your lantern and get down the wall. But Jeonghan was already lifting you by the waist and setting you carefully on your feet. Then with your fingers intertwined, he led you down the sandy path to the beach where people were starting to light their lanterns.

And for the first time since arriving in this town, staying sounded like a really good idea.

The drive up to the pear farm was quiet, but not in a way that felt empty or awkward. Jeonghan’s hand was warm against yours, his thumb absentmindedly tracing the back of your palm as he steered with his other hand.

When the lanterns started floating into the sky, he had leaned down to whisper, “The view is better from up the hill.” 

And before you could even respond, he was already tugging you toward his truck, grinning like he knew you wouldn’t say no. And you didn’t.

Now, sitting on the rooftop of the warehouse, you could see what he meant. From here, the town stretched below, the coastline shimmering with lanterns drifting over the sea like golden fireflies. It was breathtaking.

For a while, neither of you spoke. It was much quieter than the festival down below. Up here, it felt like the rest of the world had fallen away. Jeonghan sat close, one arm over your shoulder as you rested your head against his chest, his heartbeat steady and soothing. You turned your head, wanting to say something, only to find that he was already watching you.

He smiled. “I really, really, like you. You have no idea.”

“Well,” you breathed, smiling back at him. “I really, really, like you too.”

He smirked. “I knew it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Boy, bye,” you muttered, moving to stand up but he stopped you.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled, looking nowhere near sorry at all. “Don’t go.”

His fingers brushed over your cheek, light at first, as if waiting for you to stop him—but you didn’t. Instead, you nuzzled into the warmth of his hand. The slight furrow of his brows and the affection in his eyes stirred something inside you, igniting some kind of courage that made you reach for his cheek and lean forward to press a soft kiss on his lips.

A quick one. Fleeting but it left a tingling sensation on your lips, itching for more. Something flickered in Jeonghan’s eyes before his lips crashed into yours in a slow, searching kiss. It wasn’t hurried or desperate, just deep, lingering, like neither of you wanted to let go. So you didn’t let go.

Jeonghan kissed you like he had all the time in the world. His lips moved over yours in a way that made your breath hitch, slow and thorough, like he was memorizing you, savoring the shape of your mouth, the way you sighed against his lips.

Your fingers curled into his shirt, clinging onto him as warmth spread through you. He made a quiet sound when you pulled him closer, one hand slipping down to your waist, the other threading through your hair to tip your head back. The angle deepened the kiss and sent a shiver through you when his tongue pushed into your mouth.

You caught your breath when he pulled back slightly, eyes searching yours, his thumb tracing your jaw. Then, just as easily, his lips were back on yours, softer this time but just as insistent.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, only that at some point, you found yourself stepping down from the rooftop, hand in hand with him. The warehouse door creaked as he pushed it open, revealing the dim interior where weeks ago, something had almost happened between you. This time though, you weren’t stopping.

Jeonghan glanced at you with an inquiring look in his eyes, as if asking for a confirmation to continue. But you had already made up your mind. You reached for him, and he caught you in his arms with a breathless laugh. Then his lips were on yours again.

His hands slid down your back, pressing you flush against him. The warmth of his body, and the firmness of his touch was intoxicating. His lips trailed along your jaw, down the line of your throat, lingering at the sensitive spot beneath your ear.

“We can still stop if you’re not sure about this,” he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and teasing.

Your fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt, already half undone from when you’d tugged at it earlier. “Stopping is the last thing in my mind right now.”

That was all the permission he needed.

His lips were on you again, hungrier this time, as if something had snapped inside him. The restraint he had so carefully held onto unraveled with every touch, every kiss. Your back met the cool surface of a stack of crates, but you barely noticed, too caught up in the way his hands slipped under the hem of your dress, the way he pressed into you like he couldn’t get close enough.

His hands slid higher, slipping beneath the tight band of your bra. The heat of his palm cupped your breast, sending a new wave of warmth through you. His lips left yours to trail lower, nipping at the hollow of your throat before pressing open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone. Your back arched into him before you even realized, his hands tightening at your waist in response.

“Jeonghan,” you breathed before you could stop it.

He hummed in response, the sound deep and approving. His fingers brushed along your ribs, teasing the hem of your dress upward, giving you plenty of time to stop him—but you didn’t. Instead, you tugged at his shirt and yanked it from his shoulders.

You could barely see him in the dim light, but you could still make out the smooth lines of his skin, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, his smooth long hair slightly disheveled from your hands running through it.

Without a word, he lifted you off your feet and kissed you again. Your legs wrapped around his torso, arms around his neck as he walked further into the warehouse and set you down an empty worktable. 

The cold surface of the worktable sent a shiver through you, but Jeonghan’s hands were warm as they slid along your thighs, pushing them apart just enough to step between them. His gaze darkened as he took you in, his fingers trailing on the bare skin beneath your dress before he pulled it over your head, tossing it somewhere behind him. 

“So beautiful,” he murmured, almost absentmindedly, like he was too distracted by you to realize he’d said it aloud. 

He leaned in again, capturing your lips in another slow, lingering kiss as his hands worked the clasp of your bra. The second it slipped from your shoulders, he palmed your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples in circles. A whimper escaped you, your back arching into him.

He lowered his head, lips parting just before he wrapped them around your nipple, sucking slowly and deeply. The warmth of his mouth sent a sharp jolt of heat through your nerves, pooling low in your stomach. 

“Jeonghan,” you gasped, thighs tightening around his waist as he switched to the other, his tongue flicking over the sensitive bud before closing his lips around it and sucking again. He groaned, like he was savoring the taste of you, like he couldn’t get enough.

His hands slid down your back, gripping your hips, pressing you firmly against him and there was no mistaking the hard press of his erection through his jeans. The realization sent another wave of heat through you, and you bucked against him without thinking.

He grunted and pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, half-lidded eyes directed at you. “You’re gonna make me lose my mind,” he murmured, voice rough.

You kissed him, messy and eager, before smirking against his lips. “Well, wouldn’t you love it if I did?”

“Oh, fuck you,” he breathed before laying you down the table with urgency.

Your skin prickled with anticipation as you watched him unbuckle his belt. His fingers worked quickly, shoving his jeans and boxers down just enough, freeing himself from the restraints of his clothes.

Your lips parted at the sight of him—hard, flushed, and already leaking at the tip. You felt yourself clench at nothing as he leaned over you again, hands gripping your hips as he pressed himself against the damp fabric between your legs. The friction made you whimper, your thighs trembling around him.

“So sensitive,” he groaned, rolling his hips against yours, dragging himself along your clothed sex. “So soaked too.”

“Please do something about it,” you whispered, tilting your head back as his mouth found your throat, sucking at the supple skin, leaving behind a delightful sting that you knew you’d still see tomorrow.

His hands slipped into the waistband of your underwear, hooking his fingers in the fabric and dragging them down in one swift motion. The cool air against your bare skin made you shiver, but Jeonghan was quick to settle between your legs again, his fingers tracing teasingly up your inner thigh.

He paused, gaze flicking up to yours, searching. You knew what he was asking. pulling him down, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss. “I need you,” you whispered in his ear.

Jeonghan groaned into your mouth, pressing you deeper into the table as his hands roamed your skin. His fingers trailed lower, brushing against your inner thigh before sliding between your legs. A sharp gasp left you at the first stroke of his fingers. You didn’t bother pretending to be shy, not when he was rubbing delightfully against your clit, not when your hips bucked into his touch on instinct.

Then, just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, he pulled back. You were just about ready to protest but your voice disappeared the second he dropped to his knees.

His hands gripped your thighs, dragging you closer to the edge of the table. He looked up at you, eyes dark with something ravenous.

“Oh—” before you could form a word, his mouth was on you.

The first swipe of his tongue sent a full-body shudder through you. “Jeonghan—” His name broke off into a gasp as he sucked your clit.

He hummed, satisfied, as he settled between your thighs like he belonged there, his fingers digging into your hips to keep you still—though that did little to stop the way your legs trembled around him. Then, without warning, he buried his tongue inside you, licking deep, slow, dragging obscene noises from your lips.

Your hands flew to his hair, clutching and pulling when the pleasure became too much, only for him to groan in approval, his grip tightening on you. The sounds—his mouth, your gasps, the heat—filled the empty warehouse, making your tummy coil tighter and tighter with every movement of his tongue.

“Jeonghan,” you whimpered, thighs squeezing around his head. “I’m—”

“I know.” His voice was hoarse, breathless, and he didn’t stop—if anything, he doubled down, sucking harder, fingers replacing his tongue, thrusting deep, curling just right until the knot in your stomach came undone.

Your body arched off the table, waves of pleasure crashing through you, leaving you breathless, dazed, trembling beneath him.

Jeonghan kissed his way back up your body. He lingered at your boobs, then at you collarbone and your neck, his breath warm as he whispered against your skin, “You’re beautiful like this.”

You barely had the voice to respond, still trembling from the way he’d unraveled you so effortlessly. But when his lips met yours again, you tasted yourself on his tongue, and something about that sent a fresh wave of pleasure through you.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours. His forehead rested against yours, his lips brushing yours with every breath. 

“Please tell me you want this,” he whispered, his voice low and unsteady. Not because he didn’t know it, but because he needed to hear it.

You cupped his jaw, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “I want you, Jeonghan.”

His hand slid down your thigh, lifting it higher against his waist as he positioned himself with you, moving slowly. His lips found yours again, swallowing your gasp as he pushed himself in, filling you inch by inch, stretching you in the most delightful way.

He groaned softly into your mouth, his fingers intertwining with yours beside your head as he pushed deeper, until there was no space left between you. He didn’t move right away, just held you, let you feel him, let you adjust to the feeling of him buried inside you.

“You okay?” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

You nodded, breath shaky, overwhelmed by the way he was looking at you—like you were something to be cherished, something to be loved.

Then he started to move slowly, deeply, like he was practicing the clench, like he never wanted to forget the way you felt around him. He kissed you between every thrust, your lips, your cheek, your jaw, anywhere he could reach—his hands never leaving yours.

“You’re trembling.”

You were. From his hands, his mouth, his manhood and the intoxicating euphoria that clouded your head and left you gasping, arching into him, chasing every movement, every moment.

And when he finally whispered your name like a prayer, you knew you were completely, utterly lost in him.

Neither of you said much on the ride home, still giddy about what had just happened but too shy to talk about it. He kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting on your thigh, as he hummed quietly with the music from the stereo. The cool night air slipped in through the open window, carrying the faint echoes of the festival, but here, in the car, it was just the two of you.

The guest house was dark when you arrived, Gram still out enjoying the festival somewhere. You half expected Jeonghan to go back to his room, but you knew he’d follow you inside yours.

“Wanna shower together?” he asked, hugging your from behind and kissing the side of your head.

You huffed a quiet laugh. “I think I’ll go by myself.”

“Oh, come on. Just say yes,” he whined, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Please?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Fine.” He was quick to tug you down the hall and into the bathroom. 

In the bathroom, steam floated in the air as warm water cascaded over your shoulders. Jeonghan stood behind you, arms wrapped loosely around your waist. He reached for the soap, lathering it between his palms before smoothing it over your shoulders, down your arms, his touch more soothing than teasing. 

His fingers traced along your spine, his lips brushing over the back of your neck before he whispered, “Don’t get turned on. We’re just taking a bath.”

You smacked his chest, laughing as you took the soap from his hand. “Turn around.”

Like an obedient puppy, he did as he was told and you lathered the soap against his back. For a long moment, you just stood there, quietly helping each other wash up.

As you were running your fingers into his hair, Jeonghan said, “You keep touching me like that, and we’re never getting out of here.”

You scoffed. “Take your mind out of the gutter.”

He grabbed your wrists gently, making you pause. “Okay, I hope you know that’s too much to ask when you’re standing here naked with me.”

“Oh my god, you’re the insatiable type, aren’t you?” you asked, shaking your head as you wriggled your hands free from his grip.

Jeonghan only grinned. “Baby, every man with a working penis is insatiable.”

You scoffed, flicking water at him. “That’s so insightful. Thanks,” you said with a deadpan expression.

He smirked. “I like to think I’m a man of wisdom.”

��You’re a menace. That’s what you are.”

“Yeah? And yet, here you are. Naked again. With me.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Obviously, I have bad judgment.”

“Mm. Bad judgment is agreeing to shower with me and expecting nothing to happen.” He leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. “Admit it. You wanted to see this again,” he added, gesturing to his body.

You shoved him under the water, laughing as you said. “Yeah, whatever.”

“See?” He slicked his hair back, giving you a triumphant look. “I always knew you liked me too much,” he teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before stepping back under the spray.

You rolled your eyes but didn’t pull away when he reached for the loofah, running it down your arm with care. For all his teasing, he took his time with you, washing your skin with gently strokes, like he enjoyed the act itself, not just the excuse to touch you.

At some point, his fingers found yours under the water, linking them together. You looked up to find him watching you. He didn’t say anything—he didn’t need to. The silence, the warmth, the feeling of standing here with him in the warm light of the bathroom, it was enough.

Steam was still in the air as you stood side by side in front of the bathroom mirror, you wrapped in a towel and him shirtless with gray sweatpants. You reached for your moisturizer while Jeonghan lazily brushed his teeth, watching you through the mirror.

“I saw a house for sale near the pear farm the other day,” you said casually, dabbing the product on your skin.

Jeonghan hummed, dipping his head down the sink to rinse his mouth. “Oh yeah?”

You nodded. “It’s nice. Small, but cozy. Has a garden.”

“I know that one. Nice house. The owners moved abroad with their daughter.” He wiped his mouth with a towel. 

“Do you know how much they’re selling it for?”

He capped his toothbrush and turned to face you fully. “It should be affordable. Real estate isn’t too expensive around here. Why? You interested?”

“Maybe,” you replied, shrugging.

He made a thoughtful sound, turning back to the mirror. “I won’t move in with you unless you marry me first.”

You snorted. “Don’t we technically live together already?”

“This is a guest house. That’s different,” he countered. “Buying a house is serious. I like you a lot, but I won’t spend money on a house unless we’re official official.”

Rolling your eyes, you turned to him. “I have my own money, you know?”

“So?”

“So? I’ll buy the house myself.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Yeah, I admire strong and independent women, but no. Not moving in with you unless you put a ring on it,” he said playfully, wiggling his fingers.

You shook your head, packing your skincare products back in your pouch. “I didn’t say I was gonna live there with you.”

“Oh?” he scoffed, crossing his arms. “Well, then if you’re living in that house, I should at least get a key.”

He turned to wash his hands, but halfway through, he froze. The bathroom went quiet except for the steady trickle of water against porcelain. Slowly, he turned back to you, his brows furrowing in realization.

“Wait a minute…”

You didn’t say anything, just shrugged. His eyes widened, and he straightened, covering his mouth in mock shock. “You’re staying?”

“I’m considering it.” You walked out of the bathroom, and as expected, Jeonghan was right behind you. “There’s a few things I can do if I settle down here. I could open a shop or something. Take up teaching or do marketing consults for the pear farm. I don’t see why not.”

You turned to find him still standing there, hand over his mouth like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“Seriously?” you deadpanned.

He ignored you, blinking a few times before asking again, “You’re staying?”

You chuckled. “Yeah. I’m—”

Before you could say anything else, Jeonghan pulled you into a tight hug. He let out a breathy laugh against your hair, one hand sliding up to the nape of your neck.

You smiled, wrapping your arms around him too. You hadn’t expected it to be such a simple decision. When you first arrived, you told yourself this was just temporary, a place to breathe before figuring out where to go next. But now, the thought of leaving felt impossible. The town had settled into your bones. The people, the warmth, the way the sea stretched endlessly against the sky—it had all become a part of you. And of course, admittedly one of the main reasons of your stay, Jeonghan.

Maybe you’d known for a while. Maybe you’d been staying long before you admitted it to yourself. Maybe your doubts were just the shadows of a past self trying to resist the peace you had found here.

You hugged him a little tighter, pressing your face into his shoulder. Jeonghan pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his lips lifting into a mischievous smile.

“Let’s get married before you change your mind.”

You scoffed, patting his chest. “Okay, slow down, cowboy.”

And just like that, you were walking into a new phase in your life. Something slower, more mundane but steadier, and uneventful in the best way. It might have seemed too soon to say, but deep down, you knew you’d never regret choosing this life. 

Choosing him.

[fin]

[sknyuz]

afterglow — oh beomseok

synopsis — when you meet beomseok again under glowing neon lights, an unspoken understanding still hangs between you. now playing — no one noticed - the marias, afterglow - taylor swift pairing — oh beomseok x reader genre — angst, hurt/comfort, ex-childhood friends, set before the boxing ring scene, when he started to hang out with the delinquents at school cw — mentions of past child abuse (implied), cptsd, underage substance use (vape, alcohol), lyrics are not in order do not mention it i did my best to use them to the best of my abilities wc — ~2.7k part of the “i can fix him!” trilogy

masterlist | join the taglist | 400 follower event

note: finally got my last fic out for the i can fix him series <3 DECIDED to make it part of my 400 follower special as well last minute, so i am so sorry if the lyrics are not super accurate to the scene, it was a last minute decision to add it in !! ugh this has been in my drafts for so long and i am so so happy to finally present this to my beomseok girlies and besties that just want our pookie 2 be happy </3

reblogs appreciated !!

you’re not even sure how you ended up at the club in the first place.

your friends had dragged you out, something about blowing off steam. a little rebellion. just some innocent fun—maybe not all legal, but not dangerous either. fake ids, a connection to a staff member, someone’s cousin’s cousin who knew the bouncer.

the bass hits like a second heartbeat. lights strobe overhead, too hot inside, drinks already sweating in flimsy plastic cups. you hang back by the edge of the crowd, eyes sweeping across the room, not expecting anything—

until you pause.

you think you recognize someone.

maybe i lost my mind

a lanky figure by the bar: jacket sleeves pushed up, fingers toying with a vape, flicking it up to his lips. he exhales slow, leans into the words of a girl nearby, all relaxed like he belongs here. and something about the way he moves catches you. familiar. almost.

but something’s missing.

you almost brush it off—but then he turns just enough, and your stomach twists.

no one noticed

oh beomseok?

no one but you

the boy who used to trail behind you with a book bag twice his size and bruises on his wrists. the one who hated loud noises and flinched too easily, glasses always slipping down his nose. his glasses, that’s what was missing. aside from that, this was definitely your beomseok.

but it also… isn’t.

oh beomseok is vaping, the cloud lingers near his lips as he nods along to whatever some guy’s saying beside him—loud, messy, clearly drunk. but he looks tired, worn-in, like a pair of shoes that don’t quite fit anymore. you watch him reach into his hoodie and pull out a wad of cash, handing it to one of the boys next to him. the kid beams and rushes off to the bar, probably to order another round for the whole group.

you’re already moving toward him, and before you know it, you’re grabbing onto his wrist.

he yanks back, eyes flashing. “what the fuck, man?” his voice is sharp, defensive. but you don’t falter.

may have lost it (i need a virtual connection) / i have lost it (be my video obsession)

you grab his wrist again—tighter this time. your grip says you’re not messing around. “cut the bullshit, beomseok,” you mutter, dragging him through the crowd before he can resist again. his steps stumble behind you, but he follows.

you find a quieter corner near the back wall, where the bass thuds dull and distant. red lights flicker overhead. the air smells like sweat and smoke and too-sweet liquor.

you shove him—not hard, just enough to get his back against the wall.

his eyes narrow, guarded. but you catch the flicker there. the hesitation. like something in him recognizes you.

“what are you doing here?” you ask, voice steady, jaw set. “what a reunion, beomseok-ah.” you add, sarcasm dripping from your tongue.

his eyes meet yours—and something in them falters. like recognition stumbles into him too fast, as if it knocks the wind out of him, his mouth parting just slightly.

“y/n…?” he says your name like a secret. like it’s been buried somewhere he didn’t think anyone would find, “w-what are you doing here?” hi s voice falters.

“don’t flip it on me,” you mutter, arms crossed. “i asked first.”

he hesitates, “i’m just—out with friends.”

“friends?” you scoff. “i just watched you pay for their second round of drinks. didn’t see them offering to chip in.”

he doesn’t reply, just shifts his weight from one foot to the other like the floor’s suddenly unstable.

you exhale through your nose and grab his wrist again. “come with me.”

if you believe me i guess i'll get on a plane / fly to your city excited to see your face

you take his hand, pulling him away from the pulsing speakers and sticky floors, past bodies pressed together and clouds of cigarette smoke, until you’re outside, his hand in yours, feeling the warmth of it despite the cold air surrounding you as you lead him out into the neon-lit streets. the city buzzes around you, but it feels like you’re in your own little bubble, just the two of you. the breeze hits you both, a sharp contrast to the heat of the club you left behind.

you walk for a while, not really knowing where you’re headed, but you’re not rushing. you don’t really want to leave him alone, not like this. somehow, you end up at a 7-eleven, the bright lights of the convenience store a welcome change from the chaos outside.

without thinking, you grab a hangover drink off the shelf—something to steady the night, to offer some kind of relief. you pop it open and walk over to him, pushing it into his hand.

his eyes avoid yours, his face turned away as if he’s trying to shut himself off from you. it’s painful to watch, but you’re not letting him slip away again. “here,” you say, voice softer than before, “you should drink it. you look like you need it.”

he doesn’t respond right away, the silence between you both stretches. beomseok doesn’t really push you away this time around, his fingers brush the bottle briefly, but it’s clear that something’s stopping him from facing you completely.

you watch as his fingers tighten around the can, but he still doesn’t look at you. the silence hangs heavy, and you can’t stand it anymore. you step a little closer, your voice a little more urgent.

“beomseok… talk to me. this just isn’t you.”

no one tried / to read my eyes

he finally turns his face towards you, his eyes avoiding yours, but his words hit harder than you expected. “it’s been years, yn. you don’t know who i am anymore…”

no one but you

you feel a pang in your chest, but you don’t back down. you step forward, placing a hand on his arm, more firmly this time, almost desperate.

“no,” you push, your voice strong and steady. “i do know you. the real you. and this—this isn’t it. you’re hiding behind all of this. i don’t care what’s changed. i care about who you are, beomseok.”

he flinches slightly at your words, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face before he quickly masks it again. it’s like he wants to fight back, but the weight of your words is enough to make him pause, just for a second.

come on, don't leave me it can't be that easy, babe

the silence stretches between you two, but you can’t let it hang there any longer. your voice softens, quieter now, like you’re afraid to speak the truth but know you need to.

“is it... is it your father again?” you finally cut through the quiet, your gaze searching his face for some sign, some clue.*

you see how he tenses, the tightness in his posture, and something inside you shifts. without thinking, you slide your arm over his shoulder, pulling him just a little closer to you. your hand gently rubs his arm, offering him a kind of grounding warmth that he hasn’t allowed himself in a long time.

hold me, console me and then i'll leave without a trace

“oh, beomseok…” you murmur, your voice full of quiet empathy. the words are more than just a sigh; they’re a soft acknowledgment of everything he’s carrying, of all the weight he’s been hiding behind that tough facade.

his body stiffens at first, but slowly, you feel him relax under your touch, just a little. the act is simple—just a touch—but it’s enough to make him stop pretending, if only for a moment. he doesn’t pull away.

beomseok breathes out shakily, and you can feel the weight of it, like he’s been holding his breath for far too long. he doesn’t say it out loud, but you can tell he needs this—needs you to be here with him.

i pinned your hands behind your back, oh / thought i had reason to attack, but no

slowly, almost as if he’s too exhausted to fight it, his head leans in to rest on your shoulder. his breath is warm against your neck as he buries his face there, gripping the hangover drink in his hand, the can trembling slightly as he exhales again, shaky and uneven.

you feel his breath against your skin, the tremor in his grip, and your heart tightens. there’s so much he’s been holding back, so much he’s been too afraid to show. but right here, in this quiet moment, you can feel the weight of his vulnerability.

it's so excruciating to see you low

you don’t pull away, just let him be, your hand still gently rubbing his shoulder, grounding him, offering the comfort he’s too scared to ask for.

just wanna lift you up and not let you go

and like for the first time that night, you finally recognize the beomseok you used to know, soft and unguarded, the one who used to cling to you when everything felt too heavy. the boy you always tried to protect. just like this.

“hey.” you let him pull back just a little, enough to lift his head. your hands find his shoulders gently, steady, coaxing him to face you. “look at me.”

his eyes meet yours, still guarded, still tired. but you hold his gaze like you mean it.

“i like when you’re like this,” you say, quiet but certain. “real. not all… tough. not pretending to be someone else.”

no one but you

your grip on his shoulders tightens just a little. grounding him.

“you’re kind,” you murmur. “maybe a little soft-hearted. but that’s not a bad thing, beomseok. don’t forget that.”

his breath catches, like he doesn’t know how to believe you yet. but he’s listening.

you pause, jaw tight, gaze unwavering. “the guy i saw back there? in the club?” you shake your head. “that’s not you.”

he doesn’t say anything right away. just stares down at his shoes, shoulders slightly hunched, like he’s bracing for something. you can see the way his fingers curl tighter around the bottle, the silence stretching between you.

then, slowly, his eyes flick up—not fully, just a glance from beneath his lashes. hesitant. almost like he’s scared of what he’ll find that he had already buried deep if he really looks at you.

like he doesn’t think he deserves to.

you feel your chest tighten a little. you keep your hands on his shoulders, steady.

i need to say, hey / it's all me, just don't go

“beomseok-ah,” you say, softer now. “it’s okay. i’m not going anywhere.”

you give his shoulders a light squeeze. not to rush him, just to remind him you’re still here. he still won’t meet your eyes all the way—just glances up at you from under his lashes, like holding eye contact would crack something open.

you let out a quiet breath. step a little closer.

“you don’t have to pretend now,” you murmur. and then—gently—you reach up and wrap your arms around him, loose at first, around his shoulders. your chin rests near his collarbone, the way it used to when things got bad.

“we can go through it again,” you whisper. “just like when we were kids.”

he doesn’t move right away. but he doesn’t pull away, either.

you shift your arm a little, meaning to hold him tighter—and that’s when you notice it. something hard presses faintly against your ribs, caught between you. your fingers reach down, curious, and brush against the edge of plastic.

you pull back slightly, just enough to glance down—and there they are. tucked halfway out of his hoodie pocket, half-crushed but unmistakable: his old glasses.

your chest tightens.

he brought them. he’s still carrying them, even if he refuses to wear them. like some part of him can’t let go.

you don’t say anything. you just ease them from his pocket with careful fingers, slow enough that he barely stirs. and then, without asking, you guide them gently onto his face. he flinches a little at the contact—like he thinks you’re going to push him away—but you don’t.

instead, you adjust them on the bridge of his nose, the way you used to when they always slid down. the frames sit slightly crooked, lenses already smudged.

your hand lingers at the side of his face for a beat longer than it should. then, quietly, like it’s second nature, you ruffle his hair.

“there,” you whisper, “now you look like my beomseok again.” pulling him back into your arms.

he doesn’t say anything.

chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us

and then—quietly, without meaning to—his vision starts to blur. tears prick at the corners of his eyes, sharp and sudden. he tries to blink them back, but it just makes everything worse. the glasses fog a little—like they remember him too, the edges of the world softening, slipping out of focus.

and all he can see is you. or maybe not even really you—just the curve of your shoulder, the messy strands of your hair, close and steady in front of him. the warmth of your body against his. you’re the only real thing in his whole line of sight.

he swallows hard, his throat tight. and then—slowly, like he’s scared to even do it—his hands come up, just barely brushing against your back. he holds you like you’ll slip through his fingers if he’s not careful. but then something snaps inside of him,

went off like sirens, just crying

his fingers twist into the fabric of your clothes, and suddenly he’s clutching you like you’re the only thing keeping him upright. his shoulders shake. the sob hits his chest first, then his throat, and then he’s just—crying. really crying. a full-body kind of ache, like he’s been holding it in for years. like he didn’t know he was allowed to fall apart until now.

it's on your face, don't walk away, i need to say

his shoulders tremble under your hands, full-body shakes like he can’t keep it in anymore. “god, y/n...” he whimpers, voice cracking as his thumbs dig into your back, desperate. like if he lets go even a little, he might fall apart for real this time. you lift one hand, slow and steady, and thread your fingers through his hair, brushing it back gently, soothing him the way you used to when you were kids. like muscle memory.

hey / it's all me in my head

“you’re okay,” you murmur, voice barely there. “you’re okay. i’ve got you.”

tell me that you're still mine / tell me that we'll be just fine / even when I lose my mind

and that night, beomseok doesn’t go home.

if you can even call it that—home.

he hesitates at the thought of it, like the word tastes wrong in his mouth. like it doesn’t quite belong to him. he doesn’t go back to that house—the one with slamming doors and cold hallways, where bruises are worn like silence and silence weighs heavier than words. the place that still smells like fear and waiting and things left unsaid.

instead, he goes with you.

i don't wanna lose, i don't wanna lose this with you

no questions. no second-guessing. just your hand holding his, steady and sure, like a lifeline he didn’t know he was allowed to take.

it’s quiet in your room. the kind of quiet that doesn’t feel heavy. beomseok lies on his side, curled up with his head pressed gently to your chest, right where he can feel the steady rise and fall of your breathing. like a grounding rhythm. like safety.

i need to say, hey / it's all me, just don't go

your arm stays wrapped around him, thumb tracing slow lines over the curve of his shoulder. his glasses are gone—left on your nightstand, lenses smudged and forgotten. his eyes are swollen and tired, puffy from all the crying, but they’re finally closed.

he doesn’t say anything. he just lets himself rest there, breathing in sync with you. after the blinding glow of the club and the alcohol, the neon lights and too many people who never looked close enough—this is what feels right.

meet me in the afterglow

and for once, beomseok feels like maybe he’s safe, maybe he’s allowed to stay, that he finally belongs somewhere—loved, protected, not needing to put up an act. that someone sees him.

if you liked this, i appreciate a reblog as well :3 it helps my works and writing spread to other ppl very effectively !!

💬 do u guys ever think that maybe, just maybe, if beomseok had this type of support system in the show, he wouldn’t have ended up that way? just someone to hold him, console him, and just see him, yk?

note: will be one of my last uploads before i go on a short break (to work and finish requests lol) so i will be back very soon, just no new fics released for a couple days ^^ i aim to be back by tuesday or wednesday next week (may 13 or 14) so thank u for giving the blog so much love and see u again soon !! and if ur still reading this, reblog with a photo of ur favorite whc boy <3 (hehe i might use it for something ;p)

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[cuteandhughesy]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart | Matt Rempe

summary: after a gruelling breakup with you boyfriend, you thought taking the opportunity to teach some nhl players how to figure skate for the nhl youtube channel would be the best distraction. after seeing who your assigned player is though, you're not sure if it'll be as easy as you thought.

[word count] 17.6k

warnings: SFW! figure skater! reader | heartbroken! reader | friends to lovers | fluff | pinning | kissing | suggestive themes |mentions and talk about the death of readers parent | read at your own discretion.

a/n: this is fic that mentioned figure skating and bare with me because I know absolutely nothing about it! also the first figure skating dialogue is meant to be read as like a compilation of that makes sense - like it’s not a complete scene just highlights of one. OH and the dialogue of the montage scenes are literally inspired from coach chippy’s tiktok where he learns how to figure skate. clearly that was my inspiration. okay, that’s all, enjoy!

🎵I can do with with a broken heart by taylor swift, lonely dancers by conan gray, apple pie by lizzy mcalpine, risk by gracie abrams, white mustang by lana del rey, enough is enough by post malone, welcome to new york by taylor swift, + am I okay? by megan moroney

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the streets and busy buildings of new york city flash past you, screaming at you with large signs and bright lights. the taxi stops, stuck in a corner of traffic. you sigh gently, your busy travel day beginning to catch up with you. it's not like you even travelled that far, but any type of travelling always took your energy away. you look away from the bustling streets and rejoin the reality of the taxi cab.

the familiar melodies of taylor swift are gently playing through your wired headphones - wired because you've lost two pairs of airpods and can't afford a third set. instinctively, your eyes find the rearview mirror like you're the one driving, your own exhausted face starting back at you. you frown at yourself, looking away.

your taxi driver is taking, his thin lips moving animatedly expressing as he - oh he's talking you.

you tug your headphones out, abruptly stopping your music. "i'm sorry, what was that?"

"are you from new york? or vacationing?" the driver repeats himself, eyes kind from where he glances at you in the mirror.

"i'm here for work, actually." you tell him, deciding to pack up your phone and headphones for the remainder of the drive, shoving them in your duffle bag.

"ah okay, what do you do for work?"

you knaw on your lip - you've never really known how to answer that question. you're technically a professional figure skater. you went to boston university for skating and competed on the world woman's figure skating team. but that didn't always pay the bills, so you split the rest of your time working reception at a house league arena and teaching figure skating to kids 5-7.

"I teach figure skating," you settle on. the taxi starts to move again, the driver taking a sharp left turn that jolts you sideways in the backseat.

"some kids need your help here?" the driver laughs gently, working the wheel to weave the car through traffic.

you breath a little chuckle, eyeing the traffic. "something like that."

a few weeks ago you had been approached by somebody apart of the social administration team for the national hockey league asking if you'd be interested in a mini youtube series where they had professional skaters come and teach nhl players how to figure skate.

at first you were going to pass on the opportunity. your boyfriend of two years had broken up with you only a week before the nhl reached out to you- claiming he wasn't in love with you anymore and needed a fresh start. you were crushed - and honestly still are. you thought there was no way you'd be able to focus on teaching professional athletes how to arabesque properly all while navigating you're first real breakup.

but after really mulling it over, you decided that it could be the distraction you needed in your healing process. you told them yes and two weeks later you were on the train from boston to new york city - all your stuff packed in your nike duffel bag. it shouldn't be too overwhelming, you think. after all, it wasn't just you that would be teaching, there'd be four other figure skaters there with you. the email wasn't too informative about how it would all work, but it gave you basic information like schedule, times, and the actual idea of what was being filmed.

you'd each be assigned an nhl player from the teams in the surrounding areas, and you'd be responsible for not only teaching them how to figure skate, but creating a brief routine for the nhl youtube channel - then again preformed for one of the local kids hockey teams. as well, all proceeds from the video would be given to the kids - which was obviously amazing.

the taxi pulled up to the sheltered entrance of your hotel, which thankfully the nhl was paying for. after all, this trip wasn't one where you'd be getting commission and were solely here voluntarily - so you appreciate how kind the nhl has been with expenses.

"here you go," your taxi driver turns over his shoulder and gives you a warm smile, "need help with your case?"

you shake your head, "i've got it, thank you." digging through your bag to grab some cash, giving it to the old man before making your exit.

he thanks you politely. "good luck teaching those kids," he says. "I know how hard they can be to get through to."

"oh i'm ready for it."

with that you make your way into the hotel, checking in at the reception desk. the hotel is like ridiculously nice and a bag boy even takes your suitcase from you and preemptively delivers it to the room before you get there.

immediately once you get into your room, you exhale tiredly. you shower quickly, barley getting to admire how stunning the bathroom was because of your lacking levels of energy. you don't even dry your hair before you're getting into bed, setting an alarm before closing your eyes.

your stomach is tickling with nerves as you begin thinking about your day tomorrow - the unknown of it all making you anxious. you just pray your designated nhl player is a good listener, patient and a good partner.

— Day One

"and this is the rink - obviously nothing crazy but it is the rangers practice facility so it's definitely nice," mark, the main personal of the admin team gestures to the stark white rink behind him, an excited smile on his face as he talks to you all.

just the smell of the ice has you smiling, and any lingering feelings of anxiety you were feeling about this week were disappearing. you breathe happily, taking another look around the arena facility.

"look at that ice." beside you, another figure skater gleams, her dark brown eyes transfixed on the sheet in front of you. she had introduced herself earlier as shay, her bubbly personality quickly exposed as she started asking you a million questions excitedly. "I can't wait to tear it up."

you quirk a brow slightly, lips pulling into a smile. "well, i'm not sure how much actual figure skating we'll get to do between teaching."

she groans and you giggle at her dramatics.

"alright, guys so," mark claps his hands together, gathering all figure skaters and media personals attention. "we're going to head back to the meeting room and the players will be arriving shortly - once they get here we will go over the process of partnering up and the schedule."

you enter the meeting room soon after, shay at your side - a spring in her step. as you make your way back to the table you'd earlier left your duffle bag (stuffed full with anything you may need), you can't help but feel eager to learn which players would not only be participating, but which player you would be assigned to.

the skaters take various seats in the room, but mostly stick together - opting for the two oval tables towards the side of the room. demi, a small blonde girl, takes a quick seat beside you, immediately resting her chin on her palm as she leans in. "who do you guys hope is here?" she smirks, her voice quiet as she asks. demi doesn't wait for an answer before she speaks again, "i'm hoping for trevor zegras."

out of the corner of your eye you watch as shay gives an unimpressed look. you fight off the knowing smirk that begins to make its way on to your face - you weren't going to be the one to tell the blond that the chances of zegras coming to new york from the other side of the country was very unlikely.

"i'm hoping for somebody who doesn't mind a challenge," you say gently, "doesn't matter who."

demi just hums uninterested, eyes leaving you and moving over towards the front of the room. just as she does so, mark along with another older gentleman enters the room, the latter of the two holding a stack of papers in a brown folder, the word "CONFIDENTIAL" stamped in bold font on the front.

instantly, you become nervous again. the door reopens a few seconds later, and five men walk into the meeting room, laughing and chatting with one another as they do so. based on the pure build of them, you know they are the nhl players you'd all be teaching. you didn't know too much about hockey, and without them wearing their teams jersey you had no idea who played for who. they all look around the same age, which was likely around yours.

in the middle of the five hockey players stands a very tall man - so tall that immediately you feel nervous. teaching somebody that tall and long limbed to figure skate would be difficult and an extreme learning curve. you can only hope whichever skater gets paired with him is patient (and you hope it's not you or shay). ideally somebody shorter and stocky would be best as they'll have an easier time learning spins and bends.

"alright, now that we are all here," mark starts, taking the stack of papers into his hands. "i'm going to go over the jist of what we're doing." he flips open to the first few pages, scanning it quickly before he starts again. "okay so, here's how it's going to work. James and I have preemptively paired each skater with one of our athletes, which was completely random - rempe don't start." one of the players laughs gently, dismissing marks teasing.

"the next couple days will have a lot of filming, so be prepared for the cameras and for my media crew to be all over you." another round of laughs echo throughout the room, and you smile gently. "to my hockey players, please be kind and respectful with the skaters - there already doing a great deal by coming here to teach you, so don't make it difficult."

James is the one to continue, his deep voice projecting around the room. "any and all proceeds from our tiktok and youtube accounts will be given to the new york rockets little league team. as well, the figure skater and assigned player will be preforming a mini routine for the rockets team before our hockey players will be playing a game with them - understood?"

a murmur of agreements can be heard throughout the meeting room. mark clears his throat, beginning to read off his papers. "shay biles, raise your hand for me," like told, shay happily puts her arm in the air, waving slightly. mark beams, "perfect, okay, john beecher this is your partner."

john waves back gently, nodding his head in greeting from across the room. shay definitely got lucky, you think. john seems kind, his eyes gentle and smile bright as he looks at shay. beecher is a name you've heard living in boston, and your younger brother has definitely screamed his name at the tv while watching the bruins. you feel a bit upset that you hadn't gotten john, at least that way you'd have living in boston to relate to.

one of the girls you hadn't really had a chance to talk with is called out next, and she gets paired with an islanders player. she seemed relatively content with her partnership, her smile wide and eyed slightly shiny as anthony greeted her from across the room- perhaps she was a fan of duclair.

demi is called for next. the blonde grins smugly, waving her fingers in a way that seems very amorous. "dawson mercer this is your figure skating partner." the nhl star in question raises his hand from between his crossed arms in greeting, giving the bright blonde one quick wave.

you swear you can hear demi mumble something to you about dawson being 'kinda cute', which makes you feel a bit awkward - you don't know is demi wants you to respond or just stay quiet and nonchalant. shay seems to of heard demi's comment, and she nudges you side gently. shay's smile is barley noticeable, but you see it, and you have to hide you face.

"okay, y/n y/l/n..." mark calls your name and your stomach swoops. the reality of the situation all feels a bit daunting - reminding you of when a teacher would randomly call on you in primary school. your hand moves upwards, your elbow still resting on the table top as you wave gently. mark smiles triumphantly, "ah wonderful - okay matt rempe this is your partner."

it feels like the room goes silent, the constant mumbling and laughter from the table of nhl players comes to a halt. nervous and confused, you eye them all, waiting with anticipation for matt rempe to make himself known - although based on the pause of commotion in the meeting room, it seems like everybody but you is already acquainted with him.

just then, the tallest one that had caught your eye earlier leans forward. you can feel your stomach come up your throat before quickly dropping down to your feet. matt's lips tug up in a slinky smile, jerking his head once in greeting. you can't believe your luck. of course you'd get paired with the borderline giant guy - you can't even begin to fathom how much taller he'll be on skates. you're not too sure yet how you're going to teach him to figure skate gracefully, especially when it comes to spins and gliding - both of those naturally being more difficult to do when you're taller.

you look away. the combination of matt's confident greeting and your own personal turmoil about his height all too much. you swallow nervously, fuck.

you can already tell from the way matt carries himself and how his co-workers act around him that he is the kind of guy who's very...vainglorious. that had you feeling even more timid about teaching him - still dealing with the affects of your heartbreak and learning how to handle everything on top of that was a very different feeling.

and just as the cherry on top, demi leans closer to you from across the table, her voice a quiet, teasing hum as she talks out of the side of her mouth. "lucky duck - you got the hottest one."

double fuck.

soon after the mini breakdown in your head - all figure skaters, hockey players and media personnel were directed back down to the ice level of the rink. the former two groups quickly getting ushered towards the dressing rooms of the practice facility to change into appropriate clothes for skating.

thankfully all the other skaters opted for a more toned down, casual figure skating attire, so you don't feel out of place in your flare leggings, leotard and align zip up. shay looks like she's wearing something similar to you, smiling at you warmly before leaving. so that anxiety slowly settles down.

shakily, you pull your hair into a ponytail, tugging to ensure it's tight and in place. you take a slow breath, preparing yourself for the day ahead of you. slipping on your skates, you've already decided you're not going to let any hockey player change your self-healing journey - the main reason you accept the offer was to heal. you breathe a smile, tightening your skates.

as you approach the ice, you take a momentary pause - observing the scene infront of you. most of the other skaters were enthusiastically chatting with their assigned nhl players, laughing and smiling as they stretched. the atmosphere around you was filled with anticipation and excitement, which had you stomach buzzing.

you step onto the sheet of ice, your eyes darting throughout the sea of skaters and media team. there's more people and camera crew than you were originally expecting, with a good chunk of the arena filled with professional filming cameras, wires, and photographers. with a push forward, you begin to make your way into the crowd, weaving through the chaos in search of matt rempe.

you've heard talk about the name matt rempe - living in a hockey based household with your brother and dad, his name was bound to come up. unfortunately, the talk you've heard hasn't been all sunshine and flowers. matt has made a name for himself in the nhl by fighting - which obviously wouldn't be a problem with your teaching because hopefully he doesn't want to fight you. that as well as his flirtatious personality though has you still feeling a bit worried.

you still haven't caught sight of him yet, which seems odd considering his towering frame. you're definitely not the shortest of all the figure skaters by any means, but you definitely have a smaller stature in compared to your partner and some of the others crowded towards the one side of the rink.

you push forward as you glance over your shoulder - eyeing behind yourself to try and catch sight of matt. you come to a halted stop, your body being held still.

"whoa," a voice breaths with laughter above you, large hands finding your shoulders to stop your movement. "gotta watch where you're going- just saved you from tripping over a pile of wires."

you jerk your head up, finding the soft but teasing brown eyes of matt rempe staring down at you. "matt!" you exclaim loudly. he raises his brows with amused suprise, which immediately has you flushing with embarrassment - you curse yourself for your uncool exterior. "hi! matt. sorry, I'm your skater, my names-"

"y/n," matt says your name - tone a combination of gentle and amusement, your clear borderline frantic state fresh on his mind. he releases the gentle grip on your shoulders in favour of dropping his hands back down against his side. "I remember."

"right, sorry." you laugh gentle, hands nervously fiddling with the zipper of your jacket - a bad habit you'd always had has been fiddling with your clothes as a distraction. you think it's because it helps focus your energy on something else - negative or positive. during your breakup, you think you destroyed two separate strings of hoodies.

you clear your throat, dropping your hands. "have you ever figure skated before?" instantly you regret your awkward question - and you try not to cringe at yourself.  you can only hope you don't come across...unintelligent or discombobulated. the chances of a hockey player participating in this sequence of figure skating related events/ filming of he knew how was very unlikely.

matt looks himself up and down before eyeing your through his lashes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "I definitely have not."

you chuckle awkwardly, ringing your hands. "right, of course not. you probably would've turned down all this figure skating stuff if you knew how. after all why would you willingly volunteer to get bossed around and be taught something you already knew how to do! sorry, I feel like i'm rambling."

"you apologize a lot." matt laughs, eyes glimmering with charm in the arena lighting above. "you don't need to."

"sorry-" matt's brows raise, immediately cutting you off from another apology. "im not going to finish that."

matt smiles fondly.

just then, somebody approaches you both. he looks maybe 2 or 3 years older than you, with dark hair and standing around 6 feet tall. he's got a phone clutched in his hand, and a media lanyard around his neck. "hey," he smiles when he approaches, "i'm david. i'm apart of the social admin team for the nhl and i'll be filming you guys for the tiktok content - which will be today."

you shake his hand gently, "y/n, nice to meet you." matt follows suit, shaking david's hand in greeting. david briefly discuss the filming process with you and matt, and tells you what to expect with the cameras while you're teaching. david’s instructions, although speedy, make you feel more confident in the day - finally having a clear rundown of the process lifting a weight of your shoulders.

david directs you both towards the benches where some of the other partners are stood - waiting their turns in front of the camera. some groups are  with their own social media team, filming for instagram and tiktok accounts. the lighting is dimmed on your half of the rink, providing the filming side with correct studio lighting. there's a small dunkin coffee station set up right by the bench entrance, filled with multiple coffee flavours, takeaway cups, creamers, sugar and even a box of donut holes.

you grab yourself a large paper cup, filling it to the brim with decaf. you don't even bother grabbing cream or sugar - taking three hearty gulps of coffee in hopes to get some hyperactive energy.

lowering the cup from your face, you catch sight of somebody as they skate up beside you. you glance over, just to see matt grab one of the cake flavoured deserts and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. he catches your gaze, and he smiles - mouth full of donut and all.

your brows raise in surprise, his clear comfortability almost has you feeling envious - for his sakes you're trying your best to lighten up and he just is already. you clear your throat twice, "need some coffee to wash all that down?"

matt eyes your cup and he almost makes a face. he swallows heavily, shaking his head. "i'm good - takes more than tiny donut hole to take me down."

you nod with understanding, an amused smile pulling at your mouth - you raise your cup, taking a sip to mask your enjoyment.

matt indulges in one more donut, dusting his hands free of any icing against the front of his rangers jersey. you cringe momentarily, resisting the urge to reach out and wipe away any remnants. "so," matt starts, finishing the last few chews of the donut, "how long have you seen skating?" 

"my whole life," you tell him, happily taking another sip of your drink. "my mom was a figure skater so as soon as I could walk she put me in lessons," you continue, "which obviously seems a little controlling - but i'm glad she did...the opportunities i've had and the memories i've made are just unbelievable."

you pause and take a moment to think about your figure skating journey and just how thankful you are being put in lessons that young - you're not sure where you'd be without skating. you lost your mom when you were 15 - only 8 years ago. figure skating was always a way to stay connected to her and her memories. seeing your dad's blissful face when he watches you compete is always so fulfilling.

matt nods almost solemnly, as if he knows what you were thinking off. he shifts so his entire body is turned towards you, giving you his full attention. "that's actually pretty amazing - where do you compete?"

"i've gone to worlds a handful of times, which is just crazy at my age." you laugh in disbelief just at the thought. first time you went to worlds was when you were 16 years old, and a two more times when you were 17 and 18. you were one of the youngest competitors at being freshly 16 - only two girls from japan and canada being the same age.

matt's brows furrow, "how old are you know?"

"23 right now," you answer, "but I started competitively training when I was 12 and went to the first championship series when I was 16."

"holy crap," he laughs, nodding his head impressed - lips quirked in a half smile. "do you still train competitively? is all this your full time job?"

after another drink of your coffee, you sigh with ponder. "honestly - no. I still work in figure skating - teaching kids in my free time at the arena back home - hence why i'm here. it's just...." you trail off, brows furrowed as you try and find the right words. competing at the levels you used to was a lot. the diet was extremely strict, the training was intense and your mental and physical health was not good. you love skating and you'll always continue to teach it, but actually competing is something you'd never subject your body to again.

"too much." matt nods in understanding, answering for you.

you smile in conformation, "too much." you can tell by matt's sad and understanding smile that he knows exactly the strain and intensity you'd dealt with - he is an athlete after all. you clear your throat, "but i'm excited to be here though, I promise."

he dissolves into laughter, shoulders shaking. "don't worry, I didn't think you weren't."

you breath in relief, your moment of silent worry that matt would think you weren't grateful for the opportunity you were in slipping away. "so how come you decided to do this?" you ask curiously, topping up your coffee cup with more decaf. it overfills, sloshing over the rim as you look at him. silently, you curse, releasing the latch to stop the liquid from pouring out.

matt smiles fondly as you switch hands, moving your cup out of your wet hand. thankfully, it's not scorching so you're not burnt but you're wet and a little embarrassed. you're trying to shake the liquid off your hand when matt wordlessly grabs a napkin out of the stack on the table, gently grabbing your wrist as he pats your skin with it.

you swallow gently, watching him clean the coffee off your hand. matt doesn't seemed fazed, eyes focused on your sticky skin as he answers your question. "honestly, I don't think I was their first choice - they asked Schneider first but he declined. i'm glad they asked me next though, because i'm always looking to try new things." your hand is dry now, and matt balls the napkin up before throwing it into the trash can. he smiles, "and figure skating is on skates right, so I mean i've already got that part down."

in a moment of vulnerability, you spin back to properly face him. you go to speak, "can I be honest with you?"

he nods.

you continue, "tall people and figure skating don't always go hand in hand- when you're tall things like twizzles and jumps and flexibility don't come as easy. so when I first saw you I remember thinking I felt bad for your partner," you laugh once, "and then once I found out that you were my partner I got really nervous. I just...," you pause, sighing, "I don't want you to feel like you can't do it properly or as well as some of the shorter players or feel upset because I can't show you everything- i'm rambling again, sorry I-"

"y/n," he hums playfully, "the only thing i'll be upset about is if you keep apologizing for no reason." he spins on his skates so that his back is towards the coffee table, his side bumping into your front teasingly. he rests against the edge, hands gripping the table to keep himself steady.

you breath a laugh, mimicking his position. your arms brush together, and you belly sort off...wobbles. "I know, I know - I just want this to be good."

"it will be," matt smiles triumphantly.

david comes shuffling over again, now with a mini ring light attached to the media branded cellphone. he beams, coming to a shaky stop. he gestures to his phone, "i've got to get you two for a tiktok before the youtube crew takes you." david then goes into what you need to say and maneuvers you both to a more aesthetically appealing background.

you begin, smiling brightly at the camera and praying your eyes aren't squinty with the bright light. "hi tiktok i'm y/n and ill be teaching new york ranger, matt rempe, how to figure skate this week."

"stay tuned for exclusive content and behind the scenes on the new york rangers tiktok and instagram page - as well for the full videos on youtube." matt concludes, looking down at you briefly.

"great - that's amazing guys! i'll catch up with you both later." then david scoots away, back towards the exit off the rink where some media tables are set up - full of equipment, passes and extra water bottles and snacks.

next thing you know you and matt are both being ushered in front of the cameras for your segment of todays filming. like david, one of the directors - a middle aged blonde woman with a encouraging voice - tells you how to start and what to say. she ensures you if either of you need a break and/or further instructions to not hesitate to stop and ask.

with that being said, matt begins to video off. he stands tall, large arms held behind his back as he stands perfectly on the mark. "I'm matt rempe from the new york rangers and today I'm learning how to figure skate," matt smiles with exaggerated nervousness, eyeing you.

you giggle quietly, "and i'm professional figure skater, y/n y/l/n and today i'll be teaching matt the basics of figure skating - starting off easy for ole matt."

his arms come loose, and he holds his hands up in a surrender like position, turning towards you. "okay if im being honest I think i'll get the hang of this pretty easily," matt admits confidently.

smirking, you eye him, "let's see." you push off, skating away gracefully, spinning back around to face your partner. "ready for your first set of moves?"

"born ready."

-

you finishing off one of the quicker spins, making your final turn before gracefully skating out of the motion - demonstrating for matt.

his brows raise in shock, eyes slowly meeting the camera. staring down the lens. he shrugs doubtfully, cracking his neck in preparation. "my turn."

matt tries to recreate the spin, slowly and wobbly twizzling around the ice. it's definitely not perfect as he can't seem to stay in the same area and he only makes it around four full times before beginning to slip out. "that's crazy." he laughs in disbelief. "show me again."

"just-" you sigh with a smile, getting back into position to twizzle around once again. "like that."

matt tries again, and although his second attempt was more more successful, he was still a bit unstable with his movements. the tall athlete comes to a wobbly stop, brown eyes closing in discomfort. you know that face all too well and immediately you know he hasn't spotted - which is your own fault for not teaching him. "i'm dizzy,"matt puts his hands on his knees, leaning over to try and ground himself. "I don't even know how you do that."

once he's no longer feeling nauseous, you quickly teach him the importance of knowing how to spot.

-

matt's hands are heavy in yours, his grip tightening to mimick your hold as you both attempt another jump - granted it's a bit difficult considering his height. regardless, it's successful and he lands pretty much perfectly.

you encourage him further as you both skate, praises happily spilling from your mouth as you him skate gracefully - well, as graceful as somebody that tall can. you slow ever so slightly, tightening your grip again to signal for another jump.

matt's tongue pokes out and his brows furrow with concentration. he pushes off the ice like you showed him, jumping into the air. he lands again, a warm laugh leaving him. "oh my god!"

"great!," you beam, bringing you both to a slow stop. then you tell matt that he has to attempt jumping on his own and his once smile is quickly flipped.

-

"okay matt we gotta dip," you hum knowingly, already sensing his disappointment - matt's earlier distain towards low level figure skating moves ringing in your head. "dig real low."

like suspected, matt groans - it's not that he doesn't want to try and do the move because he knows that's why he's here and he wants to make your experience pleasant. he's groaning because he knows how him trying will end.

matt's first dip down to the ice is successful, and you gleam, gliding along beside him. "look at how low you are!"

matt continues to slide along the ice, one of his long legs extended in front of him. he's practically holding his breath, concentrating on making another successful dip down. it isn't much longer before he slips, landing roughly on his back.

matt groans in displeasure, his arms falling dramatically as he rolls on the ice. the sight of the tall man laying on the ice like a child has you laughing into your palm, eyeing him gently.

he pushes back onto his knees before standing to his full height, brows furrowed. "are you laughing at me?" matt questions you, his own laugh slipping out between his uncomfortable groans - the wind just about knocked out of him from the fall.

your hands fall from your face, raising in surrender. "i'm not even laughing cause it's funny. it's just like-"

"I was digging for you." matt claims cheekily - referring to your earlier comment about matt needing to dig deeper into figure skating. "I wanted to go low for you." he's gently rubbing his elbow, a grimace still on his face.

"I know. you were actually very low I was impressed."

-

you expertly lean into your spin, bending your back to complete the movement.

matt squints unsure. "i'm having a hard time committing to that right now."

-

you move forwards, quickly stopping your skates as you swing your body from side to side - skate blades tearing into the ice in a jerk like motion.

matt watches you closely from where he takes a momentary break against the boards. "oh so we are doing slow mo now?"

"yup." you chirp, rounding back towards him.

"fuck me," he huffs out, pushing off the wall. they'll definitely have to bleep that out.

-

your back is practically pressed into matt's chest, breathing gently as you push your bodies together. "give me your other hand," you remind him gently. "goes on the hip."

like told, matt's large hand rounds in to the dip of your hip, securely holding onto your body in preparation for a glide. against your other hand, his fingers flex slightly, fixing his grasp.

"okay and you're going to push off the ice."

"okay," he mumbles from above the top of your head. he goes to push off the ice, but from pure instinct he kicks off too strongly and too quickly - his legs wobbling as he practically launches you both. matt curses, toe picking to a stop.

"woah," he breaths a laugh. "not smooth, eh? let's redo that."

you laugh gently, and you pull him back into proper position. "you got it, just focus on the journey rather than the destination."

"I can't concentrate when you're looking at me like that." matt says, a small teasing smirk following as you both get ready to glide again.

"oh my god." you mumble.

-

matt's breathless, hands on his hips as he collects himself after trying to do more practice on his solo jumps. he looks dead at you, lips tugging up into a smirk, panting as he tries to collect himself. "we don't need to do any triples axels today."

you giggle through your own breathlessness, sympathetically patting his padded shoulder. "you've worked hard enough."

"i'll do a triple axel probably next session." he jokes, shrugging nonchalantly. you scoff, pushing against his shoulder teasingly.

-

"i'm sweating," matt huffs.

-

"why are you standing like that?" you laugh, pausing your demonstration to skate over towards matt.

"what do you mean? that's just how I stand." it's definitely not how he stands - and he's looking rather uncomfortable as he attempts to balance on his toes, his knees bent.

you can only laugh in disbelief. in an attempt to fix his awkward posture, you push against his chest with one hand, trying to angle him backwards while your other hand attempts to keep his lower back in proper position. "you're ridiculous - you look like jason kelce ready to catch a football."

-

"I think my hips are too far forward," matt hums thoughtfully, teetering uncomfortably.

"yeah?" you question.

"yeah," he nods with confirmation, swishing his hips around in a circular motion - trying to loosen his muscles. "they're too tight - everything's too tight." he sends an exaggerated wink in your direction, trying to further us attempt at a dirty innuendo.

you splutter, heat rising to your face. "stop it."

-

finally after a tiring and eventful couple hours, you and matt are done skating and filming for the day. it's only a couple minutes of an interview like questionare on the other end of the ice - away from jamie drysdale as his figure skater begins to go over turns before you get to get changed.

you're exhausted by the time you're walking out of the change room - swapping your athletic zip up for an oversized hoodie and figure skates for your slip ons. you let your ponytail down, fluffing the kinks from your hair as you begin to make your way down the hallway towards the parking garage entrance.

thankfully, yesterday when you arrived you had an email from the nhl informing you that your rental car, courtesy of the nhl, had arrived to your hotel and the keys were with reception. you're very thankful, because spending all your money on taxis wouldn't be ideal.

you’re right at the car, your finger already placed against the unlock button on the rented key fob when someone calls your name, the familiar voice echoing through the concrete parking garage.

matt comes up beside you just as you turn around - a friendly grin on his lively face.

you smile politely. "hey."

he breaths a greeting, "hi." matt doesn't say anything else - only continuing to look down at you gently, an unknown expression along side his gaze.

your brows come together with amused confusion, your lips changing into a slight smirk. "everything okay?" you ask, leaning back against your car door.

he blinks out of his stare, shaking his head slightly. "yeah, sorry. just wanted to thank you for today - you're really patient and like super chill. i'm looking forward to tomorrow and working with you further - god knows I didn't make it the easiest task."

"oh," you breathe, "thanks, matt that's really kind of you to say. you're great at this, don't worry."

he laughs softly, "thanks - still not sure about those spins though."

you giggle gently, the thought of matt's green complexion and woozy eyes still fresh in your mind. you tug your tongue, poking at his bicep "spotting," you remind him.

"right, spotting," he kisses his teeth, nodding with thought. his mouth opens briefly, nothing but silence coming out - but then he sighs, "you're ridiculously good, y/n, i've been blown away by you."

you swallow thickly, completely shocked at his kind words and warmhearted complexion. he smiles sheepishly, like he might be embarrassed by his straightforward compliment. you muster up a grin, fiddling with the edge of your sweatshirt. "that means a lot to me - thank you."

"you're welcome," he says sheepishly, rubbing one of his large palms over the back of his neck. matt steps backwards, eyes meeting yours. "i'll see you tomorrow, y/n."

"i'll see you tomorrow, matt."

— Day Two

like yesterday, you and matt ended up being one of the first skating partners to be filmed. which was kind of nice, because after the hour or so of teaching him, you got to have a break. granted today both you and matt had to stay for some extra interview style filming and then proceed to begin to practice the 40 second - 1 minute routine needed for a few days time.

you had already finished your question session for the day, so you were sat comfortably on one of the benches. the sounds of shay's skates gliding across the ice as she taught john some more complex spins was a soothing noise - giving you a moment to reflect.

last night after your long day spent with matt, you had gotten back to your hotel exhausted once again - eyes practically fluttering closed on the elevator ride up. you had briefly checked social media before heading to bed in search for some brain distraction before sleep - only to be met with your exes instagram story with another girl: the two looking very cozy together.

that sent you into a depressive spiral, which included lots of self doubt and crying. it's not even the fact that he had moved on from your relationship quickly, but the thought of him having no regards for how you may feel had you feeling sick - your self doubt and insecurities in full force.

your eyes had still hurt from your night of crying when you woke up - definitely still puffy as you showed up at the rink. you definitely hadn't been as layed back today, and most of your responses were short and quick - your movements not as precise or clean. your heartbreak was beginning to affect you on the rink...all because of a stupid instagram story. you honestly felt bad for matt having to deal with you and you can only hope you're not ruining his experience.

the sound of somebody stepping up onto the padded area of the benches has you snapping out of your daydreaming, looking up at the source to see matt hobbling towards you - the padding affecting his skate blades.

matt was coming from filming some interview content with david like you had previously done - now taking a seat beside you on the bench before you'd both have to practice the routine. matt sits close enough to you that his arm bumps yours, but he doesn't seem to mind the closeness - making no effort to move away from you, keeping your limbs pressed together.

"good job today." you smile gently towards him, but it doesn't meet your eyes. quickly, you turn your attention back towards the rink - john beecher's laugh a nice distraction.

matt smiles politely even though you're not looking at him, "thanks - you too."

you shoot him a questioning glance, but there's a ghost of a smile on your face - his little quip getting to you. it makes matt beam, eyes trained on you even as david zooms over to take some behind the scenes pictures of you both - he's gone before you even have a chance to pose.

you find the ice, instinctively thinking about your ex once again. you're almost angry at yourself for doing so - you took this opportunity to try and heal and get over the heartbreak back in boston. and matt was so nice yesterday, already providing you with a comfortable distraction in your healing journey.

matt nudges his skate covered foot against yours, pulling you out from another moment of daydreaming. "you trying to steal some teaching techniques from shay or something?"

"what?"

"you keep zoning out over there." he laughs gently, his elbow nudging into you in one last attempt to get you to crack.

you laugh, but it's definitely forced - shaking your head as you try and clear your summersault of thoughts.

matt sighs, eyes dancing over your dull expression. "sorry if this comes across weird, but...are you okay?"

you shoot him a glance. "what do you mean?"

he shrugs, "I don't know you just look off - sorry if that's too harsh. it's just…yesterday you looked much more, I don't know, happier? or maybe more hyper? sorry if i'm overstepping, just thought I'd be a decent human being and ask." matt seems to nervously run a hand over his flowing hair, awkwardly tugging his jersey away from his neck as he rambles. "i've noticed something all day and I just thought...I don't know."

you frown gently. you've never been one who could easily control your emotions and they are always easily depicted on your face. today was no exception, and matt has clearly caught it. although you weren't planning on getting into your lingering heartache, you owed it to your partner to at least give him something. besides, matt noticing something was up with you based solely on your body language and waiting until you weren't in front of cameras to ask about it....was rather sweet and considerate of him.

matt continues to apologize to you, his eyes frantically searching your face for any notable signs of discomfort.

you press further into his side to gather his attention, doing your best at sending him a playful smirk. "hey if i'm not allowed to excessively apologize without a reason - neither are you."

your teasing has matt breathing a sigh of relief, but his brows still are drawn together in question. "so i'm not overstepping?"

you shake your head. "you being perspective and asking me if i'm okay is not overstepping."

his brows change, shooting up in suprise. "so you're not okay is what you're telling me?"

you sigh gently, "just...having a hard time recently. nothing that deep, truly. stupid stuff."

on cue, your cell phone resting in your lap lights up with a notification, and like clockwork both you and matt look down at the glowing device. the notification isn't even the problem - just some stupid twitter notification about sydney sweeney and her new movie.

"is that your boyfriend?" matt asks you gently.

he's referring to your lockscreen picture - one that contains you and your ex laying together on the beach. matt had seen the lockscreen photo that you still hadn't had the heart to change - too attached to the memories of what once was. that was the problem.

"no, sorry - he's," you pause, debating if you're really about to tell matt - a guy you're just really getting to know - about your sad excuse of an ex. "he's my ex-boyfriend."

you can practically see the gears turning in his head, his eyes darting around your face to further take in your expression. matt puts all the clues together, humming gently. "is that why you're upset?"

for a brief moment you continue to debate about what to say. telling an nhl player about your ex wasn't exactly what you were expecting to do today, but you also don't really have any sort of outlet for your feelings. back home you sort of don't have any friends - your best friend ashley had moved to ohio for school a year ago and you had your family, but even they could be dismissive and non understanding about your heartbreak. you think matt may just be the next best thing.

"yeah," you finally sigh, "he broke up with me only a couple weeks ago."

"i'm sorry," matt says immediately, eyeing you softly. "what happened - if that's okay to ask?"

"well," you laugh breathily, your disbelief clear in your tone. "he decided that after two years he didn't love me anymore - and based on his story last night…he's already moved on. i'm not even upset that he's moving on, it just hurts to see you know?" you're weren't really expecting to spew all that, but matt doesn't seem to mind as he nods thoughtfully.

"yeah," he agrees, "similar thing happened with my ex, so in some capacity I can understand how you're feeling." he pauses, eyeing the ice once again. you find yourself following suit, watching as shay shows john how to properly do his spread eagles. "you're pretty badass for dealing with my gangly limbs and whining all while being heartbroken- if I was in your spot I probably wouldn't of come."

"that's why i'm here, actually," you laugh thoughtfully, "I thought it would be a nice distraction from all that bullshit going on at home. teaching you how to skate and making new memories. plus, you don't whine as much as I thought you would've." glancing back towards him, you see that he's already looking down at you - a smile tugging at his lips at your teasing.

"really? glad to hear i'm a good student then."

you squint at him, "well I didn't say you are good."

the sound of your further teasing has matt cackling, his head tilting back as he takes in your comment. you giggle gently, already feeling the slightest bit lighter.

"oh okay, I see how it is!" he smirks, "well, my dearest teacher is there anything I can do to improve my grade?"

you're glad that matt has taken well to your teasing, and has even continued to further your lighthearted back and forth - a pleasant conversation to help distract you from your rather tiring day. the combination of a rough night without much sleep and practically exercising all day has you left feeling exhausted.

you tap your chin in a faux thought, lips pursing outwards as you hum, "maybe if you can teach me how to throw a left hook i'll bump your mark up."

"oh so you're only here to brush up on your fighting techniques," he pauses with a hearty laugh, "I see how it is!"

you shrug unapologetically, crossing your skate covered feet over.

"do you watch hockey?" matt hums after a moment. you frown at his rather unprompted question, and you watch him quizzically - his large body bent as he re-ties his skates. you don't say anything at first, so he looks back at you over his shoulder, his eyebrows raised. "I'm only asking because you seem like you knew that I fight - I won't like...banish you if you're not a rangers fan."

you laugh. "sort of," you pause, taking a thoughtful breath. "my brother and my dad - who I live with back in boston, well, they're big bruins fans -" matt makes a disgruntled face out of habit, which has you stifling a giggle. you continue, "i've heard your name before because you fight - my brother likes you."

matt nods understandably. "what's your brothers name?"

"gavin - he just turned 10." a pang of homesickness hits you, and you really wish that your family was in new york with you, exploring the city and watching you teach.

matt smiles gently, "I'll have to meet him one day."

"he'd like that." you say instantly - not even thinking about what that would mean. how that would include matt rempe being with you in boston, or how it would be you and gavin visiting him in new york. "what about you, any siblings?"

"sisters," his face lights up, "steph and alley. they stay in calgary with my mom."

"they must be really proud of you." you hum truthfully, resting your chin on your shoulder as you smile up at him.

his smile widens, clearly very close with his mom and sisters. "they are - but i've honestly never seen them more excited about me skating, than they've been knowing you're teaching me figure skating." he laughs.

"are you telling your family about me?" you squawk with joy, eyes glimmering with playfulness.

before he has a chance to respond, the sound of demi's high pitched voice is interrupting - and it has you looking away from matt's face and back towards the rink. demi is looking at dawson with impatience, her tone coming across very short and irritated. poor dawson, you think, he must be dying inside. although you're not sure if you were any better than that today, remembering your rough start.

thankfully the devils forward just smiles and nods understandably- and you can only hope demi's temper comes across as a staged dynamic between the two of them: bossy and forgiving.

beside you, matt leans in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear as he whispers. "looks like I definitely ended up with the best skater." you meet his eyes curiously, and that has matt subtly gesturing towards demi, brows raised in disbelief as her impatience has now turned into obvious flirtation. you're glad matt thinks you're more tolerable than demi.

you snap your hand up towards your mouth in an attempt to cover and stifle your giggle. both of you watch as dawson tries to attempt a cantilever after demi's poor demonstration, and you can't help the roll of your eyes as demi immediately begins reprimanding him.

although her teaching skills were anything but good, you can tell that dawson also wasn't really trying and wasn't as loose with his movements - in fact, it kind of looks like dawson doesn't want to be there at all.

you turn your head into the side of matt's arm, directing your whispers into him so your voice has no chance of carrying throughout the arena. "seems like I got the best nhl player."

matt smirks once you pull away, and he bumps his  shoulder with yours. "obviously."

you scrunch your nose, "even if he is a goon."

matt's head snaps towards you, a look of shock combined with amusement on his face. "hey!" he scolds with a laugh.

matt doesn't have an opportunity to tease you further, words interrupted when shay and john make their way towards the bench, both of them looking tired after their skating session and interviews. regardless, they are both smiling and chatting cheerily as they sit down beside you.

shay is instantly bringing a ray of sunshine with her, happily greeting you and instantly chatting and giggling to you about some crazy thing she heard demi tell another one of the skaters regarding something matt doesn't quite pick up on.

he's too busy noticing how shay's presence seems to be one of the last puzzles pieces in helping you feel better and look more relaxed. your eyes continue to widen and sparkle as you laugh, and how you don't seem to venture off into daydream land while listening to john and shay animatedly go over how john almost ate shit during a glide. it's all very sweet. matt barley knows you and already he doesn't want to see you feel anything but happiness. 

without any deliberation, matt grabs your phone from your lap quickly, a smirk on his face once he sees your shocked face. he opens the camera icon, bringing your phone upwards so it is capturing all four of you on the bench. you don't get a chance to scold him before matt gets their attention. "hey guys, let's get a picture."

"oh yeah," beecher smirks, bumping into shay - which sends her body sliding into yours, and like a butterfly affect sends you into matt's side, tightly tucked into him. "everyone try to look happy and not exhausted." beecher playfully adds.

shay playfully rolls her dark eyes - clearly used to johns personality already. to further his point, john holds two fingers up behind shay's head, giving her faux bunny ears for the camera. shay leans into further your side, her head on your shoulder as she blows a kiss - while you choose to wrap your hands around matt's building forearm, practically hugging his limb as he snaps the picture.

later when you're back in your hotel room - there are three things that take you by somewhat of a surprise. the first being two instagram follows from john beecher and matt rempe - you follow both back immediately.

the second is your brother linking you a tiktok.

it's a clip of you and matt from a distance, clearly filmed by david - the two of you were whispering to one another and giggling, and it was captioned 'plotting'. your brother had texted his excitement about you getting partnered with matt rempe - which had you smiling.

the surprising part wasn't even the tiktok, it was how at ease you looked in his presence. you almost can't fathom it, because it's not just about looking at ease but you were at ease around matt.  you want to try and deny it, but you can't - whatever you're beginning to feel in his presence is undeniable.

you knaw at your lip, going into your camera roll to find the photo matt had taken of you all a few hours ago - four smiling faces starring back at you. you all look happy and like you want to be with one another - unlike the picture of you and your ex on your lockscreen. you sigh gently, but there's a gentle, content smile on your face. you make the new picture your wallpaper, replacing your ex for good.

— Day Three

you knock three times against the large wooden door of the quick home, softly to not seem too eager but loud enough so you'd be heard.

you sigh gently, adjusting the bag against your shoulder so it sits comfortably. you can't believe you're actually here - waiting for matt rempe to let you inside jonathan quick's home. this morning when you woke up, you had an instagram message from matt - some corny text that pretty much asked for your number. which, obviously had your stomach swooping and as you gave it to him.

spending the past few days with matt has been really...pleasant. although you've literally known him for only three days- the amount of time spent together makes that feel like it's been years. you're pleasantly surprised with how nice, funny and adaptable matt has been with you. thinking back to before you met matt, you can't even fathom how silly you had felt leading up to everything- the nerves you had been battling regarding the week now seem ridiculous. and you hate to sound like demi, but matt's face is certainly a bonus to everything else - you also hate how that thought is beginning to make you feel.

you had spent a good amount of time today choreographing the mini routine with matt during your lesson. you wanted to make sure matt had a say in what was happening so that way you could ensure he was capable and comfortable with the routine. it all seemed to be going very well, and matt had seemed to really have a grasp of the routine.

so tonight when he texted you asking for some more help and practice - going as far to invite you to the quick's house where he'd be living for the upcoming season - you had been slightly confused. it wasn't like today was your only day for practicing the routine as all the skaters and respective nhlers had two hours tomorrow morning before needing to preform - that way it was fresh in their mind. so you'd been a bit unsure of why he wanted to have you come over tonight when tomorrow you could provide any clarity and help he was seeking.

regardless of those thoughts, you drive over to the house...ready to help matt practice your figure skating routine in a nhl superstars living room - yeah, what is your life right now. through all the disbelief and curiosity of the situation though, you did want to succeed in your partnership and win the kids votes with your routine, so you're happy matt was serious about it all.

the door clicks open, and the butterflies in your stomach flutter quickly. the idea of spending extra time with matt have the little bugs increasing in speed, sending your skin through joyful vibrations. matt smirks, leaning against the doorframe. "hey."

"hi," you breathe, adjusting your hoodie as you do so. matt looks so comfortable, clad in a black henley top and team branded athletic shorts- showing of the muscles he's put on during the offseason. suddenly you feel a bit sloppy - not even bothering to take your hair down from its scraggly bun before coming over. you chuckle awkwardly, "you called for me?"

your poor attempt at a posh accent lands, and matt's laughter is warm, filling your chest with its own hot feelings as he chuckles about your joke. "I did - wanna come in?"

you nod. matt opens the door wider, gesturing for you to make your way into the large foyer. immediately you feel out of place, the grand entryway practically the size of your living room and kitchen combined back home. it's almost completely silent inside, saved from the youtube playing quietly in another room. "this is really nice." you breathe out, kicking off your shoes beside the welcome rug.

matt huffs in laughter - a sound that's become way too familiar. from behind you, matt grabs the strap of your bag, his long fingers brushing your shoulder as he slips it off your arm. "I know right - i'm very lucky."

brushing off matt's touch on your shoulder, you laugh once, blindly following matt as he moves through the large space - presumably leading you towards one of what you assume is many living spaces.

"and who would've thought i'd also be getting lucky" you attempted joke quickly turns your face hot, the realization of what just come from your mouth has you feeling embarrassed. you slow in your steps, covering your burning cheeks with your hands. "wait, that came out wrong."

matt laughs over his shoulder, shooting you a playful glance. "you little freak." he teases, "I never would've thought the sweet, innocent looking girl who I first saw across the room in the meeting room would be such a little perv."

his obvious teasing and taunting smirk had you groaning with further embarrassment, dragging your feet as you make your way in his direction. "matt i'm literally dying here - throw me a bone at least."

matt's brows raise with surprise, and his laughter increases - like he's in disbelief. then, it hits you, another accidental sexual innuendo burning your face to an impossible shade of red. your mouth parts at a loss for words, and your eyes close to further your shocked state. "i'm just going to leave."

matt reaches out to you and he grabs your wrist gently, dragging you through the last bit of remaining space between you. the feeling of his touch has your eyes snapping open, you once parted lips snapping closed quickly. you stare up at him with softness and a little bit of shock- now closer than you ever could have imagined.

his bottom lips juts out - all wet and pouty as he slowly blinks down at you. "don't leave - I need you here."

you swallow nervously and automatically your breathing quickens in space. matt's words are sitting heavy in your ears and millions of thoughts about his soft confession swirl around your head. softly, you question his words. "you need me here?"

matt's pout transforms into a gentle smirk and his eyes squint at you questionably. you can see the teasing comment brewing from a mile away. "yeah because I want to go over our routine - get your mind out of the gutter, y/n."

"oh my god." you sigh, your eyes rolling playfully as matt begins to giggle to himself like a school boy. you shake your head in admirable disbelief, "you're such a-"

matt interrupts, "an amazing and perfect guy?"

"little shit." you correct, quirking a brow upwards in his direction.

"whatever you say ma'am," matt sing songs, his grip on your wrist tightening ever so slightly, guiding you in the direction of the living room - babbling how if you keep making unnecessary sexual comments he'll never get to learning the routine properly.

all you can do is hide your growing smile and blush while his back is turned.

matt knows the routine like the back of his hand. you show him solo once before you make him join in - and he almost perfectly execute his moves. it slightly furthers your confusion about him asking for extra help from earlier, but you brush those thoughts away. you get about 30 minutes of practice in and although neither of you are on ice skates, it's still a successful practice -  matt is moving as if there was a set of blades beneath him.

it isn't long before matt is sighing dramatically, taking a break from twizzling - he just about had carpet burn on the soles of his feet from the friction. he takes a messy gulp of water, the sound of plastic crinkling echoing through the empty house. he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, "okay i'm beat - I gotta save the rest of my energy for tomorrow."

you laugh softly, quirking your head as you eye him. "I think you've got enough energy built up to last for the rest of your life."

"yeah yeah," he dismisses your teasing remark with a smile, hand waving you off. "wanna watch a movie or something?"

you eye him, "a movie?"

he nods, completely unfazed by your doubtful tone. "yeah - ever heard of one?"

you ignore his blatant teasing, your eyes flickering towards the large rustic clock hanging above the kitchen nook - directly across from the large family room.  "are you sure?" you question, wide eyes darting between the time and matt's awaiting face, "it's almost 8...I don't want to intrude."

matt scoffs gently, like he was disgusted that you'd even think that. his lips tug upwards in a soft smile, spinning his water bottle between two fingers like a basketball would. the sight of him toying with the plastic bottle is a momentary distraction, and you find yourself watching his long fingers like a weirdo.  "I like spending time with you - so yes im sure."

matt's words have you looking away from his hands, and you find his soft stare even more distraction than his fingers.

oh.

"you do?" you question meekly, gently fiddling with your hoodie once again. your nerves are growing once again, but this time they're purely because of matt and his borderline romantic confessions. that combined with his eye contact, and constant teasing smile have you feeling rather giddy.

he nods like it should be obvious to you and then he just starts to just walk away - gesturing for you to follow him with a simple nod of the head over his large shoulder.

you're not sure what you were expecting from matt's bedroom, but you don't think it was what you were seeing. it was just so...homey. it's in the basement of the quick house - which was obviously a ridiculously nice and expensive looking spare room.

the room has clearly had a woman's touch, with elegant decor and furniture, but matt had definitely made his mark around the space. his laundry is spread out on the floor near the hamper - not in it and there are a couple miscellaneous knickknacks on top of his bedside table and the tall dresser in the corner.

he's got a pair of wireless beat headphone's hanging off the corner of a picture frame - an image of him and his mom staring back at you. his bed is made, but it's still messy with a throw blanket pulled astray near the top of the bed and pillows squished together - looking like that's where he'd been lounging before you got here.

there's a few hockey sticks sitting up against the closet door and -

"are you going to come join me over here or am I just going to pick the movie all by myself?" matt's annoying teasing question has your eyes falling in his direction. you blush at how entranced you had been by his bedroom - reminding yourself of a 13 year old girl who is in her crushes space for the first time.

to further his point, matt pats the empty side of the bed, beckoning you over with the hand that wasn't holding his remote. in your snooping daze, you'd completely disregarded matt getting comfortable in his bed and turning on the tv -further illuminating the room.

"i'm not a dog," you giggle, making your way over to him despite your attempt at sounding annoyed. you climb into his rather large collection of blankets, burritoing yourself between them. your limbs immediately thank you as they finally have a chance for relief. "and if you think i'm letting you pick a movie you're certainly wrong."

matt gets himself into a more comfortable position, resting his head on his arm as he scrolls through the options on netflix. he turns his head towards you leisurely, and the pillows puff at the movement. "and why's that?"

you shrug gently, eyes meeting his. "you'd probably pick like...slapshot or something that I don't want to watch."

he laughs softly. "and your pick would be better?"

immediately, you hum with confidence. "absolutely it would."

his brows raise and he silently challenges your claim. "okay and what movie would that be?"

naturally, your eyes flat back towards the tv screen - the small collection of movies matt had stopped on mid scrolling staring back at you. there's nothing that initially catches your eye, but right at the end of the list there's one film that nobody could resist.

"pitch perfect," you state, looking back towards matt. his eyes are still on you and his face expression is soft. you clear your throat gently, and your eyes flicker. "not only is it actually funny, but it's a unique story with friendship and romance - there is truly nothing better. it's probably my favourite." you weren't lying, it was one of your favourite movies. something about the film had always held such a special place in your heart, and you couldn't never ignore it when you saw it.

matt could tell you were passionate about the movie franchise based solely on the way your eyes flickered as you talked. he's seen that look on you before - anytime you laughed at his jokes or when you were skating it made an appearance. matt shrugs nonchalantly and clicks the play button. "i've never seen it."

your eyes widen with surprise, "really? matt oh my god." the lighting from the movie's opening scene is shining on you, illuminating both of your flushed faces in the dim bedroom. "well thank god I saw it on there."

"thank god," matt mimics you teasingly. "now quiet down i'm trying to watch the movie."

you laugh into the pillow you'd stolen earlier, trying your best to focus on the movie playing and not matt's side profile - but it proves to be rather difficult.

unfortunately, it's not long before your eyes start fluttering, the long day catching up to you. soon enough, you feel them properly close and you're not strong enough to fight off the much needed sleep.

matt feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder, and he finds that your head has gravitated towards him in your sleep. the sight of your rosy cheeks and puffy lips have him smiling fondly, doing his best at staying still to ensure you would be well rested for tomorrow - he'd make sure to wake you in the morning with plenty of time for you to get ready.

slowly, his eyes flicker back towards the movie that he's obviously seen many times before - he grew up with three woman in the house for gods sake. he just couldn't disappoint that sparkle in your eyes.

— Day 4

you wake up groggily at first, eyes squinting through the unfamiliar bedroom. you focus on the hockey sticks against the wall and feel the warmth of a body next to yours and soon you come to - finally recalling your whereabouts.

you sit up quickly. "oh my god I fell asleep." you sigh, hands panic searching through the blankets in a desperate search to find your phone. in your peripheral, matt hold's out your phone - and you don't miss the teasing look he gives you with it.

"I was just about to wake you up - wasn't going to let you be late." matt mumbles sleepily. he shoves your phone into your hoodie pocket before you have a chance to take it from his hand.

you jump out of bed hurriedly, fixing your disheveled messy bun as you do. his comforting words fall on deaf ears, and you feel panicked. you can feel your heart reaching and the adrenaline pumping through your body. "i've got to shower and then I have to make sure i've got my preforming clothes ready - oh gosh, I also was supposed to text shay and help her go over a move for her routine and-"

"hey," matt says gently, gently taking ahold of your biceps - grounding you. you didn't even notice him get out of bed, as you were too busy going over the endless notes app you had curated in your head. his thumbs stroke against your skin soothingly, distracting you from your moment of anxiety. "I made sure you'd have enough time for anything like that, okay? and look I don't even need to wake you up, so you've got a few extra minutes to spare. you're okay."

you nod at his reassuring voice and for the first time since waking up in a state of confusion and panic, you feel like you can breathe properly. "okay," you smile gently, allowing a much needed exhale to escape from your heavy lungs. "i've gotta go now."

matt releases his comforting hold on your arms, shuffling backwards a few steps to give you some space. although you definitely weren't opposed to his presence so close, you now didn't have to crank your neck upwards to look at him properly. "okay," matt responds, running a hand through his sleep disheveled hair.

"thank you!" the relief you feel in that moment is like nothing else, and you finally let yourself smile properly. although, you still feel rushed thinking about everything you needed to do in the next two hours. you're just thankful matt was planning on waking you with enough time to spare. you're overcome with gratitude for matt's kind gestures spanning over the last 24 hours and you can't help yourself from showing it. quickly, you dart up on the tips of your toes, placing your hands on matt's thick chest for balance as you reach up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

matt's eyes widen with surprise, and an amused smile tugging at his mouth at your action. he looks down at you softly, but you don't catch it, too rushed in gathering yourself and heading out. "i'll see you later!"

you're out of the quick's house faster than your feet can handle, and you make it to your rental car parked in the long oval driveway in record time.

it's not until your driving away, gracie abrams voice soothing you over the radio as you turn onto the road does your brain catch up to your own actions. your mouth falls in shock.

you had kissed matt. on the cheek granted, but still. you curse yourself, holding a hand to your forehead to try and calm your rapid heart and burning skin.

-

nervously, you knaw on your thumb - nibbling on the skin around your nail bed until it becomes uncomfortable. the metallic taste on your lips is a momentary distraction from your own frantic brain. you can't stop thinking about matt - more specifically, the kiss you had smacked onto his cheek as the sun was rising.

your mind is reeling thinking about what he is making of your random burst of affection. is he weird out or uncomfortable by the kiss? did he care? did he not want to preform with you anymore? does he regret inviting you over last night?

it doesn't help that you're at the practice arena and matt hasn't shown up yet. all the other partners had been on time, and all of the skaters and respective nhl stars were already going over their routines. not you though - you waited nervously in the musky scented hallway, still tearing away at your thumb as you watched the doors.

you think that matt must be upset with you. he was late because the kiss had put him off and he was procrastinating spending time with you. your lips release your thumb and immediately you run the hand over your freshly styled hair, feeling yourself become somewhat emotional as you begin to pace the hall.

just as think to call it quits, pack up your stuff and just go home, the door swings open. matt walks in  looking slightly breathless, eyes heavy as he searches the area. he spots you rather quickly and begins to make his way over, an unreadable look on his soft features.

immediately, you start to apologize. "i'm so sorry matt! I shouldn't have kissed you - it was so rude and unprofessional of me! I can understand if you're mad at me or want a new partner." you ring your hands out nervously, eyes not once straying from his face - desperately trying to get an insight on his expression.

matt's eyebrows pull tightly towards the centre of his face, and he shakes his head confused. "what? i'm not mad at you."

you swallow, "you're not?" matt shakes his head no, and a small smile begins tugging at the one corner of his mouth.

still feeling confused and worried, you find yourself frowning, "then how come you were late?"

"am I late?" he questions curiosity, not intending to receive an answer. matt doesn't make an effort to actually check the time or anything, and he only shrugs with nonchalance- his always playful smirk growing. "I stopped at a coffee shop - do want decaf or regular?"

you blink. "what?"

he laughs once. matt puts the takeout tray down on one of the benches lining the hallway corridors, slipping the two drinks out from their respective holes. you hadn't even noticed matt had been carrying coffees until just now - when he walked in, you were too damn anxious to focus on anything. he lifts the two cups closer to you, "decaf coffee or regular coffee? I don't have a preference so i'm fine with either."

"decaf," you finally mumble. matt smiles, passing you the local cafes branded paper cup. you eye the lid, fiddling with the opening flap as you try and and attempt to collect your own scrambled thoughts. "so you're not weirded out?"

matt swallows his mouthful of coffee, "by what?"

you laugh once, tone full of disbelief. "I kissed you."

his brows raise, "yeah you did."

"i'm sorry I don't understand what's happening right now." you sort of laugh out - the confusion of the whole situation coming to a head. you press your hand to your forehead, looking towards matt through your lashes as you try and gauge his unreadable facial expression. you're not so much worried about him being angry with you now, because clearly that's not the case. he seems really casual about the whole thing, which has your stomach flipping.

"right now," matt takes a step towards you, practically pressing himself against you with his frame. his tongue slips out, wetting his bottom lip as he stares down at you. "we are having some coffee before heading out to practice our figure skating. we are also briefly discussing how you jumped me this morning and attacked me with a kiss."

his teasing and exaggerated explanation immediately has you feeling much lighter about the situation- your earlier panic dissolving. you gently scoff at him, and you can't think of anything else besides flicking him in the chest - a small punch of retaliation. "matt seriously I was panicked thinking I fucked this up."

he laughs gently, a shake of his head following suit. "no," his words are like a whisper, a gentle tone that kisses the skin of your face as he speaks. there's a twinkle in his eye, one that comes anytime he wants to push your buttons. "i'm used to your pervy antics by now." with his free hand, matt reaches towards you and fluffs your hair around, covering your face as he does.

you screech, the sound quickly forming into a giggle as you try and swat him away. it proves to be a difficult task without your vision and the use of both hands - your decaf cup still clutched tightly, liquid sloshing around as you squirm.

matt's laughter subsides and he slows to a pause - his free hand gently brushing any strayed curled hair back into its proper place. your vision is back, no longer impaired by the strands of your hair.

he swallows gently and you can feel his fingers tickling along your hairline. matt tucks some final strands comfortably behind your ear, fingers grazing the shell. your previous smile slowly fades as you watch him and his eyes that are solely focused on you. matt's hand doesn't leave the side of your face, fingers cradling your over cheek and against your ear.

you have never been so entranced by anybody like the way you are with matt. for god sakes, you've only known the guy less than a week, but there was something about him that felt so much like home - a safe space for you and your heart. it was almost scary how quickly you find yourself beginning to heal because of a man you barley know. but that's just it, you think, it feels like you've known him a lifetime.

"let's get to practicing," matt says reluctantly, pulling away from your body after stroking your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. the cool air of the arena replaced his warm embrace and you shiver gently. he places down his coffee cup beside the tray he'd earlier left on the bench, "I can see duclair's routine and it looks too good - we gotta beat him."

you breathe out with laughter, placing your cup beside matt's almost full one. "let's not forget the reason we are just starting practice is because you were late." you begin to walk with matt towards the rink, the icy scent filling your nostrils.

matt scoffs, "yeah because I got you a coffee." he steps onto the ice, immediately twirling so he's facing you. wordlessly, he helps you step out onto the ice, grabbing your hand.

"bribery will get you nowhere."

he snorts, "okay you better remember that when you try and plant another kiss on me-"

you yelp, hand coming up to cover matt's mouth before he can continue.

-

matt had absolutely blown you away. he nailed the mini figure skating routine, which not only made you feel good about your teaching abilities but also had you feeling proud of matt - his hard work and commitment to learning something new was admirable.

the feeling of finishing the routine was amazing in itself - but when matt had smiled brightly down at you before wrapping his thick arms around your waist in a hug, spinning you around (the perfect twizzle may you add) was just even more incredible. you don't even find yourself caring how the affection might look in the eyes of the camera or the thousands of fans who will be watching. you’re too happy with everything to worry.

once all the routines have been preformed, the little league team had decided that demi and dawson were the winners. although you were slightly disappointed with loosing, you heard some of the boys giggling about how 'hot' demi was and how cool it was that dawson knew jack hughes - so you weren't too concerned about your routine being lacklustre: the win wasn't decided on skill.

so although the kids didn’t declare you and matt the champions - matt's lingering touches and sweet grin had you feeling like a winner.

— Day 5

"we are not naming him rempire state building."

you pout at matt's statement and your arms tighten further around the gigantic duck plushie. "please - I love that name."

"it's not even a name." matt challenges, his laughter like a sweet melody over the rambunctious sounds of bells and coasters. he continues, "it's just my last name added onto a famous skyscraper."

you tut your tongue, "and that's just it - your last name." cradling the duck closer to your face, you rub the fluffy fur along your soft jawline. matt gives you an unimpressed look, but the smirk pulling at his lips contradicts his stare.

the wind picks up slightly, and a cool breeze comes - slipping between carnival booths and rides and sending a chill over your exposed skin. shivering, you hug the duck plushie closer, attempting to warm yourself up.

the goosebumps on your skin have you wishing you’d brought some kind of jacket. that has you thinking back to only a few hours ago, when matt texted you.

matt rempe

hey, beecher and drysdale wanted to take you, shay and emilia out to the carnival tonight for your last night in new york!

matt rempe

also as like a huge thank you for putting up with our annoying asses for the past week

matt rempe

please say yes to me or ill cry

y/n y/l/n

big baby

y/n y/l/n

i'd love to go to the carnival with you

matt rempe

i'll pick you up in 30

matt rempe

and bring a jacket, it's supposed to get cold

obviously, you forgot a jacket. the wind continues its gnarly sweep, and the summer night temperature drop has you thinking of fall weather. you subconsciously seak human warmth and you shuffle in close, tucking yourself into matt's side.

matt chuckles knowingly at your shivering. he picks out some of the fluffy cotton candy he'd be keeping in his hoodie pocket - letting the sticky desert melt on his tongue. "I told you to bring a jacket."

"I forgot." you're pouting again, tucking your face into the duck.

matt swallows the treat in his mouth, and his steps decrease in speed as he comes to a slow stop. wordlessly, he pulls off his black sweatshirt, and he holds it out to you. "here."

"I don't want you to be cold." you say timidly, your eyes darting between the article of clothing and matt’s expectant eyes.

"I don't want you to be cold," he laughs softly, furthering his gesture. "give me perv so you can put the hoodie on."

you eye him. the real reason matt didn't want to name your beloved stuffed duck that he'd won at one of the balloon popping games rempire state building was because he wanted to name it perv. immediately you expressed your disagreement- you were not naming the cute stuffed duck perv.

regardless, you hand him the duck in exchange for the article of clothing. the cool summer air has you further feeling chilled and you don't waste anymore time. you pull on the sweatshirt, and immediately your enveloped by the lingering body heat and smell of matt. "thanks."

he smiles, passing back the stuffed animal which you immediately begin hugging tightly once again. matt reaches into the pocket of now your hoodie, pulling out the bag of cotton candy so he can further snack as you begin to start walk along again.

"I think you should rethink the name perv," he pitches between chewing, his arm brushes against your shoulder as you both leisurely stroll the fairgrounds. "it's cute."

"it's not cute," you squawk, "it's quite literally perverted." reaching towards him, you reach into the plastic bag and rip off some of the blue cotton candy. plopping it on your tongue, your fingers become sticky as it melts, and you suck the crystallized candy clean off.

matt watches hazily and he swallowing thickly. clearing his throat, his eyes find the crowd infront of him once again, distracting himself with the busy grounds. "you're no fun." he says after a pause, and he side eyes you playfully with a smirk on his face. "just wanted to name it after you."

you laugh loudly and steal some more cotton candy from the mixed bag. "that makes it worse! why you insist on calling me perv is way beyond me."

suddenly, beecher throws his arm around your shoulders, coming up behind you with shay hot on his heels. it scares you momentarily, but you have no chance to scold him as john starts steering you towards the other side of the carnival grounds. "we're all doing that."

to accentuate his words, he points towards the neon lights of the laser tag sign. it lights up the dusk fallen fair - hues of green, blue, and red covering your body as john guides you towards the pop-up.

"oh god," shay all but whines from behind you, her feet dragging. "I suck at laser tag." she states once you’re all standing at the end of the lineup, her dark lips forming into a pout.

john's arm leaves your shoulders so he can turn towards shay - presumably to pester her about her lack of enthusiasm.

matt pulls on the pocket of your (his) sweatshirt, tugging you towards him and eliminating the little bit of space that was between you. you hold your breath with anticipation, letting matt practically manhandle you as he tucks you into his torso. he looks down at you with a playful expression, "you've played laser tag before?"

matt’s possessive handling from just moments ago has your adrenaline running and you’re not sure if you can form a coherent sentence. you shake your head no, glancing up towards matt through your dark lashes. clearing your throat, you ask, "is it hard?"

he smirks, "you'll be fine."

you're definitely not fine. you’ve since discovered that laser tag is not your forte, and to make it worse, matt got put on the opposite team with shay, emilia and jamie. you had beecher on your team, but he was no help. you haven't seen him since the beginning of the game when he started to run away from you - shouting about he had the perfect snipping spot.

the laser tag gun is heavier than you expected, and you keep having to dodge acne prone teenagers who have their sights set on targeting you.

the light up vest you have to wear is hurting your shoulders, the rough material rubbing against your skin uncomfortably with every move you take. the neon signs are providing the only light source in the space, and you keep have to squint to get a proper look at your surroundings.

for what feels like the hundredth time, you peek around the corner you've been hiding behind, trying to look through the shadows to make sure the coast is clear. you want to at least make it to the other side of the course before the game ended. a shadow dashes by, quick on their feet. you hold your breath, trying to stay still to not get caught. just when you think you're in the clear, the silhouette turns to you and darts behind your corner.

the lighting above adjusts, flashing a dark blue. you continue to hold your breath with anticipation and prepare for the stranger to shoot your target and eliminate you. the light moves over their face, and you can finally see them properly. instantly, you breathe out with relief.

matt's smirk makes your stomach feel warm as he looks down at you, his laser gun hanging loosely at his side. "how's it going?" he asks playfully. matt reaches towards your vest, teasingly tugging on the arm opening.

you huff with exhaustion and let the gun you’d be dripping for dear life fall to your side. "I haven't gotten a single target because i've been too scared to move - I don't think i've left this corner in 10 minutes. and these kids from your team, by the way, keep trying to find me."

matt chuckles lowly, his teeth igniting underneath the blacklight above. "I know - they keep talking about trying to get out the 'hottie'" he air quotes with his fingers, mimicking their words.

you pull an uncomfortable face, and a strangled whine passes through your lips, your eyes closing with a combination of embarrassment and annoyance. "i'm toast."

the sounds of running shoes stomping on the ground and children's laughter grows louder, signalling that they were getting closer to your hiding spot. your eyes widen.

quickly, matt wraps an arm around the dip of your waist and he pulls you against his chest. he spins you both around so that you're pressed further against the wall, deeper in the corner. you're both completely enveloped in darkness, and you can only make out the silhouette of matt’s features.

your mouth opens, but your words immediately dir on your tongue. quietly, matt shushes you with a playful quirk to an eyebrow, the top of his index finger brushing along your bottom lip to further his point.

all you can muster is a slow nod in response, as you’re too overwhelmed by the feeling of matt all over you to form any words. the way his strong chest flush was against your breasts, and his hips pushing against the pudgy part of your stomach. matt's arm is still tightly nestled around your waist, and he makes no move to change that.

you can only hope that he can't feel your rapid heartbeat or staggered breathing - the nerves you was currently experiencing were just downright embarrassing.

"this may be a bad time," matt's voice is barley audible over the sound of the post malone song playing over the speakers and the distant sounds of people laughing and talking. "but you smell really good."

you tilt your head farther back to and properly look at him. your chin practically presses to his chest as you do, reminding you of just how tall he is. "what?" you whisper meekly in question.

"all I can smell is your shampoo," a faint smirk appears at the corner of matt's mouth. "I can't help it, your head is right under my nose."

you were adorably struck, a little smile beginning to grow on your lips. "so what you're trying to say is you've been sniffing me?"

he huffs out a laugh, "no - it's just a strong scent."

you swallow gently, blinking slowly. between you bodies, your hand begins to tingle with numbness, and you slowly maneuver it out- pressing your palm flat shading matt’s stomach. you fight the urge to clutch the material of his soft shirt in your hands - wanting to grasp as much of him as you could.

matt jerks slightly, and his eyes meet yours through the dark. his adam apple moves as he swallows thickly, and you can feel his fingers flex around the softness of your waist.

you breath quickens, and you drop the laser gun to the ground. matt doesn’t flinch at the sounds, his eyes never leaving your face. now with your hand free, you let it slide along the side of matt’s torso, slowly tickling him with your nails. you need him in every way possible. you need his laughter, and his teasing smiles, and his touch, and you desperately need his kiss.

you lick your lips slowly, your tongue making sure all creases are moistened. “matt,” you whisper with vulnerability. this time, you don’t fight your own urges, and you let your fingers take whole of his shirt, keeping him pressed to you. “being with you is healing my heart.”

a genuine smile takes over matt’s face - not one of his slay playful or teasing smiles, but a real one. his eyes hold admiration, darting between your face as if he can’t decide which feature of yours to look at. at some point, he must have also abandoned his gun - the hand he was using to hold it now reaching towards your face. matt holds your cheek tenderly, thumb pushing some hair off your face and holding it to your ear.

“I see her!” the shrill voice of a pre-teen yells out from behind some faux rock structure.

matt pulls away quickly and bends down to grab his laser gun. it has you blinking hard, shaking your head to try and clear the fog that had clouded there within the last few minutes. your skin is on fire, and your aching all over. thoughts of matt now feel impossible to not have.

you lean down to grab your own abandoned gun. as you stand back up, you’re met with the familiar teasing eyes of matt, and he’s borderline laughing to himself. he’s got his laser gun pointed at you, the stream of red light directly hitting your target.

"matt," you warn, "don't even think about it." although you’re pleading, you can help the giggling that falls from your mouth along with your words. you can’t even form the thought of shooting him first, too wrapped up in the attention of right now.

matt cocks his head playfully, "think about what?" he questions you brightly, gun still aiming directly at your glowing vest.

you take off, running back out into the main area of the course. you can feel matt hot on your heels, and the adrenaline of it all has you shrieking in laughter as you try and escape him.

usually after such an intense moment with somebody, you were unable to shake off the shaking feelings and tension that came with it. but with matt, you’re immediately moving forward. the comfortability you’re experiencing with him is something you’d never believed in. honestly, you never really though friendship could exist in romantic interests.

if their was anything you learned from you ex, it was that relationships were meant for sex, lying, and deception. now you know that’s not what a relationship means and having trust, fun, and friendship is the only kind of relationship foundation you deserved.

— Three Weeks Later

opening your email to find a thank you from the nhl social admin team a week after arriving home was a nice surprise. the mass email was inviting you and the other figure skaters to an all expenses paid trip to new york, where you'd get to watch the rangers home opener.

the way your stomach flipped at the thought of seeing matt again was so sensational. you weren't aware that it was possible for you to miss somebody as much as you did him.

the morning after the arcade, matt has insisted on driving you to the train station after he helped you return the rental car. he didn’t want you to pay for an uber, and frankly you didn’t feel like it either. the goodbye hurt you, and you remember your throat feeling scratchy with emotions while he hugged you. matt had pulled back, momentarily eyeing your soft lips….and then the train started to board and you had to leave matt and new york behind.

your chest clenches at the thought, but instead of pain that had been tugging at your heart- it was beating for a whole knew reason.

you accepted the trip offer immediately and you were already planning on what you’d wear to your first ever hockey game - nothing to do with wanting to look your best for your crush…totally not.

briefly, you think about texting matt to tell him about the trip you’d be making, but you ultimately hesitate. you don't want to affect his play or focus in the rangers home opener. if all he can think about is you watching in the crowd, it could negatively impact his game. long story short, you’d hate to be the reason he feels overwhelmed.

you had texted shay soon after responding to the email invite, and she had excitedly told you she’d be making the way down from pittsburgh to be there. thankfully, shay was up to date on your ongoing feelings for matt, so the together the two of you brainstormed over text, ways to suprise matt.

your stomach was spinning with excitement for the remainder of weeks before you’d be with matt again.

—

hockey games were turning out to be more fun than you initially expected. the fans around you were all so enthusiastic and cheerful that you couldn’t help but join in. shay and you had been chanting and jumping for three whole periods. anytime the rangers scored the building became electric, and you understood why the players would thrive off that feeling.

like planned, with only 5 minutes remaining in the third and final period of the game, rangers leading 6-2, you opened the camera on your cell phone. first, you and shay smiled brightly for a picture, both of you wearing your blue and red rangers memorabilia. the second picture was the ice, capturing the players zipping around from 15 rows up the stands.

y/n y/l/n

*attached: two images

hey I think shay and I got lost? can you

help us identify this arena ??

the period ends soon after, and you and shay wait a few minutes for the majority of the crowd to disperse. then, using your passes gifted from the nhl social administration team, you both make your way towards the players tunnels.

your phone buzzes.

matt rempe

what?

matt rempe

are you seriously here?

instantly, you’re smiling and the butterflies fluttering around your belly increase by thousands. you lean back against the cool wall to keep yourself from buckling forward - knees going weak with anticipation.

y/n y/l/n

come out of the locker room and find out

a couple of long, antagonizing minutes pass before you see matt. he walks out of the locker room, appearing from behind the grand new york rangers branded doors. his eyes dart through the cluster of his teammates, their families and staff collected in the waiting area - eyes frantically searching for you.

like gravity, your eyes finally lock. instantly, your mouth morphs into a smile, and you push off the stone wall so that you're once again standing upright. you pocket your cellphone in your jeans back pocket, and your cheeks burn with warmth.

matt pushes his way through the crowd, apologies tumbling off his lips quickly as he rushes through the room to try and get to you.

shay mentions something about seeing you back at the hotel room, but you can’t even fathom her words. as matt gets closer to you, you can feel your body spin with excitement - it's all so different from anything you've felt before. it’s refreshing and feels just so right.

finally, matt gets through everyone and he finally reaches you. instantly, he grabs ahold of your flushed cheeks with his large hands. the smell of arena shower soap fills your senses, and your grin triples in size. the scent is so familiar- so matt.

he doesn't say anything to you, but he does lean down and connects your lips together. it feels so right. it feels like he’s the puzzle piece you’d been missing, or the feeling you’d get when you’d find your airpods after months of looking everywhere - kissing matt feels like decaf coffee and the rush of figure skating and the most beautiful song lyrics.

you didn't know kissing could be so pleasant. the way matt's lips caress yours and skillfully slip along yours have you melting into a sticky puddle.

you sigh into his mouth, and your own hands reach out to touch him. they slip into the opening of his his suit jacket, resting on the sides of his strong torso.

matt’s back is bent forward in a way that's borderline uncomfortable, and soon his upper back will start to burn from the strain - but matt didn't care. he had missed you so much…more than he's ever missed anybody in his entire life. the feeling was so unbelievably foreign to him, but he never wanted it to go away - never wanted you to go away.

your lips separate for a second, and you take the opportunity to catch your breath. you chest is heaving along with matt’s but that doesn’t stop him for almost immediately leaning back in - pressing two more much softer kisses to your glistening lips.

one of his teammates whistle teasingly in the room, but you can't even hear it - the only sounds in your ears is the pumping of your own blood, and matt’s breathy groans against you.

he pulls away and a slow, flirtatious smirk crawls its way across matt's flushed face. his thumbs gently run along the indent of your cheekbones, a soothing feeling contrasting your frantic heart. "I should've done that the moment I met you." he breathes the confession.

your laughter was a familiar and welcoming melody, dancing through the crowded room and filling matt's chest with joy. "that would've been ridiculous, matt." you tell him honestly, hugging his torso and resting your chin on his chest.

"yeah," he agrees with a playful gleam, "but that's how long i've been meaning to do it. I haven't stopped thinking about since the moment I saw you in the meeting room last month. when you left on that train, I thought I was going to fall to my knees in agony.”

his dramatics have you rolling your eyes, but you’re grinning nonetheless. “you’re such a-“

“little shit?” matt interrupts knowingly.

you shake your head, “charmer.”

the air between you turns thick once again. matt leans back down towards you, and he captures your mouth in another breath stealing kiss.

he pulls back an inch, eyes still closed as he rests his forehead against yours. “can I confess something really charming?”

you giggle. “oh god, what is it?”

“I don’t even like coffee - only bought two that day so you’d have options.” he smirks playfully.

“little shit.”

matt blows a raspberry to the space between your neck and shoulder, erupting a shriek from you as you try to escape his tickling lips.

you'd make the long distance work - you'd both work together to make your new connection work from different cities. although, you think it can't be too difficult. if you can manage to fall for a stranger with a broken heart, just imagine how much you can accomplish with a healed one.

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[fiona-fififi]

You're not saying you're in love with me (but you're going to)

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Summary: Eddie's seeking joy, and he just wants to suck dick about it. Buck might be having a crisis. 8x06 extended scene.

Notes: First buddie smut fic for me. So, uh. I don't know. Enjoy! And mind the tags. Also, please let me know if I forgot any, as I am not accustomed to writing or tagging smut.

Title from Taylor Swift's “Slut!” because it felt appropriate in all the ways.

8x06 Extended Scene, PWP, Getting Together, First Time, Emotional Sex, Playful Sex, Couch Sex, Smut, First Time Blowjobs, Hand Jobs, Come Swallowing, Unsafe Sex, Mentioned Tommy Kinard (though he's really not very important to this beyond being the reason Buck is at Eddie's house)

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Ao3 Link

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“We broke up,” Buck announces, near out of the blue, Eddie's eyes on him too much to bear after a bit. He feels the flat disinterest in his own voice; the way he's maybe jumped too far too fast into acceptance.

Maybe it really was for the best that Tommy had walked out.

“Ah, man,” Eddie says, and it's sincere, Buck knows it is, but there's a hint of something else there that Buck's not sure about—an undertone of happiness that could maybe just be the remnants of whatever he'd walked in on when he'd shown up at Eddie's door or could maybe be a reaction to something else Buck's not ready to examine. 

Buck grunts out an acknowledgment of Eddie's words. His body stiffens a little. At the possibility Eddie will push him to talk about it, Buck's mind insists. He keeps his eyes trained forward, too afraid to look at the man beside him for fear of breaking. How, though, he's not sure.

“I'm sorry, Buck,” Eddie voices, genuine and sincere, and there's something about the way his name lingers on Eddie's lips that has Buck's breath catching. “I know you liked him,” Eddie adds, hand coming down heavy on Buck's thigh.

They haven't moved, though. Not really. So with Eddie leaned back in the cushions and Buck sitting stiff at the edge of the couch, Eddie's palm falls high, so close to the juncture of his thigh that Buck thinks he stops breathing, heart hammering hard in his chest. He expects Eddie to pull away, to sit forward and shift the touch up toward his knee, to clap that spot a couple of times and pretend he hadn't lingered.

But he doesn't.

Instead, his fingers roll, a careful squeeze to the meat of Buck's thigh, dancing there in a lingering massage and shifting just a breath higher, slipping into the dip of his groin.

Buck's breath stutters out, catches with a choked sound, hand gripping too tight around the glass in his palm as he freezes—too afraid to move for fear of breaking the moment, of giving Eddie a reason to draw back and pretend like nothing of substance had happened. Feels his heart hammering in his chest, corner of his gaze caught on the sweet little smirk on Eddie's face that looks some combination of proud and fond, and Buck chokes again, falls back into the cushions behind him in an uncoordinated slouch that has Eddie chuckling aloud, a soft, sweet sound Buck wants to bottle for his own ears only forever.

He blinks hard, eyes focusing on Eddie from the new angle, Eddie's fingers creeping that much closer, and Buck can feel his body reacting—some desperate heat he knows he shouldn't feel licking over every part of his skin, radiating out from that one focal point of Eddie's fingers clasped around his thigh. “Eddie,” he grunts. Intends it to be chastising. Feels the desperation instead.

“Hmm,” Eddie hums in response, and Buck can't tell if it's a question or just an acknowledgment. Can't bring himself to care as Eddie reaches with his free hand to take the near empty bottle from Buck's. Murmurs something about tucking it away before someone gets hurt that Buck doesn't actually hear, not really, as he turns his gaze to the sweet, easy joy that crinkles Eddie's eyes and tugs at his lips in the prettiest picture of happiness Buck has ever seen. 

It's infectious, and suddenly Buck can't quite feel anything other than want. The electric of Eddie's touch leaving him a squirming mess in seconds.

And Buck knows they should talk about it. Thinks, at least, he shouldn't be so eager to give in, considering. But he can't bring himself to care about anything other than the feel of Eddie's fingers burning into his skin.

“God, you're pretty like this,” Eddie breathes, taking in the sight Buck makes against the cushions. And Buck thinks he must make quite the sight—feels wrecked over nothing more than the squeeze of Eddie's fingers and the heat in Eddie's eyes. “Take this off, yeah?” Eddie demands, tugging at the sleeve of Buck's jacket.

Buck obeys. Doesn't even consider denying Eddie as he scrambles forward just enough to dislodge the offending material and drop it over the back of the couch. Eddie's free hand finds its way up under Buck's t-shirt then, making clear his intention to strip Buck down to nothing, even as his other palm remains firmly planted on Buck's thigh. Buck doesn't argue—drags the shirt up over his head and discards it with his jacket, catches Eddie's eye with heat in his own.

“We shouldn't,” Buck breathes, unconvincing, voice catching as he shifts back further into the couch cushions, hips pushing forward as he settles. At the movement, Eddie's fingers brush over the hardness beneath his fly, just a little too firm to pretend it's an accident, and Buck chokes on a whine as his eyes fall closed.

Eddie shifts then—away, away, away—Buck can feel it in the way the couch moves beside him, even as the burning imprint of Eddie's palm remains, and Buck can't help the desperate whimper that bubbles from his lips when Eddie's movement turns into a deliberate caress, fingers playing gently over the bulge of Buck's erection in his jeans, and Buck thinks he might die for it. “Please,” Buck gasps, squirming against the cushions beneath him and pressing up into Eddie's touch.

Eddie shushes him quietly, and Buck forces his eyes open to follow the sound, and when he does, they find Eddie there, kneeling between his legs, eyes transfixed on Buck's as he lets his fingers play, hands splaying over the thick muscle of Buck's thigh. “Why shouldn't we?”

“Eddie ” Buck gasps out again. It's not a sob, but it's a near thing.

“Are you upset over it?” Eddie asks, all honest curiosity, fingers stilling just long enough to make Buck squirm for his touch. “Too much to drink to make sound decisions?”

Buck shakes his head, eyes falling closed again. “You know I've only had one.”

“Mmm,” Eddie hums in agreement, fingers curling to pop the button of Buck's jeans, “broken up, then?”

Buck gives him his best approximation of a glare at that one, finds those warm brown eyes dancing with mirth, even as Buck can feel the pause—the way he's refusing to allow himself to give into the want until he's sure Buck's with him.

Buck wants to be, so desperately. Thinks maybe he is.

Eddie's mouth tilts into a fond smirk, eyes falling to where his fingers work as he drags down the zipper of Buck's jeans.

And he's working slowly—slowly enough to give Buck time to voice a real protest, but Buck would be lying if he pretended not to want everything Eddie's offering.

Still, there's a stinging behind his eyes and a sharp twinge of fear as Eddie shimmies his pants down his legs. A hint of tension settling over him because he wants, but he also doesn't know what he'd do if this all meant losing Eddie, and he can't help but fear exactly that because everyone always leaves, and why would Eddie be different, really? Why would sex make Eddie stay when it's only ever ended badly before?

Eddie clocks him then, Buck too in his head to notice that Eddie's slowed, settled back between his legs, but is gazing up at him with worried eyes, hands sweeping delicate patterns over the skin of Buck's thighs. Less deliberate now in his worry. 

“Hey,” he murmurs, quiet and delicate, and Buck feels stupid, sitting there stripped nearly bare as Eddie shifts so completely from confident sex kitten to concerned best friend. Buck's eyes swell with tears he tries to blink away. “We can stop,” Eddie promises, a sweet sincerity in his tone that makes Buck's heart clench. “Nothing has to happen here if you don't want it to.”

“I don't—I don't think I want to stop,” Buck chokes out, all damp eyes and worry.

“Then what's wrong, sweetheart?” Eddie's voice is so, so quiet and careful, and something swells in Buck's chest and makes him feel like he might break.

He hesitates, sucks in a shaky breath as his eyes roam Eddie's concerned face, a fragile attempt at avoiding Eddie's own eyes. Then, finally, “sex is like a death knell for me,” Buck admits, all quiet vulnerability  “And I don't want to lose you.”

“Buck,” Eddie breathes. And it's a quiet, delicate thing that feels like something Buck's not sure he deserves. Reaches up to stroke soothing fingers along Buck's hairline, over the wetness clinging at the corners of his eyes, along the cut of his cheekbones. “Let me show you what it feels like when someone stays.”

It feels like a promise Eddie intends to keep.

Buck lets out a shaky breath, thighs falling open with the gentlest touch of Eddie's fingers as he moves to massage the sensitive skin there. And having Eddie there, beautiful and bright, taking up the space between Buck's spread thighs, settled comfortably on his knees as he takes in the sight before him, has Buck transfixed.

“Eddie,” Buck murmurs, a quiet desperation coloring his tone. He's not sure, really, what he needs, but he knows what he wants, and he can't bring himself to deny Eddie when he's begging Buck to let him have him. 

Buck reaches out, gentle fingers curling around Eddie's neck, thumb petting delicately over the cut of Eddie's jaw. 

Eddie smiles. Fits his fingers around Buck's wrist, thumb pressing gently to the rapid pulse under his touch, and then shifts until he can press a kiss to that same spot. And it feels monumental—it shouldn't; it's just a small gesture, a sweet connection serving to ground them both, but Buck feels like his heart might burst at just how much adoration he finds in Eddie's touch.

“Can I?” Eddie whispers then, soft and sweet and sharp with want, his eyes wide and pleading as his lashes flutter up toward Buck, and Buck can't help the way his hips hitch just a bit—the slightest movement, but enough to tense Buck's thighs and turn Eddie's eyes dark with want. The nervous hope still there, but edged out by a desperate need Buck's never seen on Eddie before.

He thinks he likes it.

“Yeah,” Buck chokes out, eyes transfixed on Eddie, breath heaving as he tries to calm the molten heat running through his veins at the depth of desire in Eddie's eyes.

Eddie's gaze shifts, then, fingers hooking securely into Buck's boxers, giving a little tap with his thumb to get Buck lifting his hips enough for Eddie to drag them down his strong thighs and past his knees. They fumble a little along the way, Buck's too long legs interfering with the angle when Eddie refuses to move from where he's planted, too eager to get his hands on Buck. In the end, they manage, Eddie taking a poorly coordinated kick to the shoulder and Buck nearly rolling himself off the couch in his haste to shimmy out of the offending garment. Eddie grins and maybe giggles a little at the whole ordeal, and Buck does, too, laughter overtaking as Eddie reaches out to steady himself on Buck's bare knees while he resituates between them.

As their laughter subsides, Eddie's eyes still dance with adoration, and Buck is surprised with it when Eddie leverages himself up with hands firmly planted on Buck's knees, leaning in until Buck gets the picture and ducks down, catching Eddie's lips with his own.

They're not close enough to make it a proper kiss—just a sweet press of their open mouths, Eddie's tongue dipping forward for just the slightest taste before they're separating. But it's the kind of first kiss that leaves Buck trembling all the same. When Eddie pulls back, they're both grinning wide, and Eddie presses one more peck to Buck's lips just as he lets his fingers drag up the length of Buck's cock, delicate and teasing and tentative, and Buck can't help but break the kiss as his head falls back against the couch, desperate whine ripping out of him as Eddie's grin shifts into a joyful smirk, cocky with it as Buck ruts into his touch, seeking a pressure Eddie's not yet ready to give him.

“Shh,” Eddie hushes then, shifting back down to settle between Buck's legs. Buck whimpers again and Eddie shifts his touch to the insides of Buck's thighs, tickling the sensitive skin there with gentle fingers. “I wanna play for a minute, huh? Promise I'll make it worth the wait.”

Buck chokes on something that sounds vaguely like Eddie's name, then. Eyes pressing closed and breath stuttering as he tries to regain some semblance of control. His whole body feels tight, balanced on some precarious peak he's not sure how to navigate, but he wants. Doesn't think he's ever wanted anything as much as Eddie's touch now that he's had a taste of it.

For his part, Eddie's true to his word, fingers playing delicately over Buck's skin, a hint of curiosity beneath the confidence rolling off him. He's fascinated by every move Buck makes, every sounds that falls from his lips. 

Buck reaches out, runs his fingers over Eddie's cheek, just to feel the pull of his smile, and then Eddie's turning into him, pressing a kiss to Buck's fingertips as his hands slip up along the length of Buck's thighs, thumbs caressing the delicate skin closest where Buck needs him most only to skate higher to explore his chest. And Buck hates him a little bit for a moment, whining his displeasure as Eddie's hands splay wide across his ribs, pet over the muscle of his pecs, and then slide back down to skim over his sides, squeezing just enough to pinch when they settle on Buck's hips again, and he pouts—bottom lip protruding in the most obnoxiously childish way—and Eddie can't help but laugh. Can't reach Buck's lips again without more effort than he's willing, so instead, presses a wet kiss to the juncture of Buck's groin, hot breath ghosting over the length of him, and Buck's hips would be hitching up if not for the steady grip Eddie has on him. 

“Fuck,” Buck murmurs, mesmerized by Eddie's playful curiosity. The way he oozes confidence, even though Buck's not sure he's ever done anything like this before, and Buck's own curiosity gets the best of him, finds him forcing his eyes open wide and stuttering out “have you, uh, h-have you ever—” as he reaches to comb careful fingers through the mess of Eddie's hair.

“Never,” Eddie confirms, confidence holding in his tone. A hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

Buck blinks at that, something like awe blooming in his chest as he watches Eddie's eyes. Feels Eddie's fingers slide closer to slip around the length of him,  playing again for just a moment—touch too light to do much more than tease—until he's tightening his grip and stroking slow but firm.

Buck shudders with it, forces a breath through his nose as he tries to breathe through it without losing control. “Are you sure, Eddie?” Buck asks, all quiet concern, even with every nerve ending in his body drawn taught as he pets at Eddie's hair, lets his fingers linger. “I-I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for.”

Eddie smiles at that—something bright and sweet and genuine, and Buck thinks he might die here beneath Eddie's capable hands. Thinks it might be the only way he wants to go when Eddie presses another kiss to the skin of his abs and then murmurs “think I've been ready for you since that first day.”

Buck's breath catches again. Damp tears suddenly clinging along the edges of his lashes. Buck chokes on a sob, lets his head fall back again just as Eddie dips back, that same sweet smile playing across his lips as he goes back to peppering kisses along the dips of Buck's abs and the skin of his belly, firm grip slowing with the distraction but keeping up enough rhythm to have Buck gasping his praise on a broken breath, a quiet “Eddie” forcing its way out of him as Eddie plays.

“I want to taste,” Eddie murmurs then, like he’s talking to himself, before he turns his eyes up at Buck and asks, all confidence and sweet curiosity, “Can I taste?” before dropping a kiss so close to the head of Buck's cock that his cheek drags gentle over the length of him.

Buck sobs. A desperate, drawn out thing, as he chokes out Eddie's name over and over, broken with awe and adoration. “Eddie. Eddie. E-eddie.”

Eddie grins, big and cocky, and Buck hates the way his dick jumps at that predatory smile. “Gotta tell me, bud,” Eddie tsks, fingers teasing along Buck's length. Circling him to stroke firm and steady. Mouth pressing wet kisses to the cut of Buck's groin.

“Y-yes,” Buck chokes, voice failing enough that he nods hard in affirmation, fingers dragging along Eddie's jaw to draw his attention, “please.”

“Good boy,” Eddie murmurs, almost to himself, and Buck whimpers. Lifts his hips just a touch, and he feels Eddie grin against his skin. 

Eddie shifts, ghosts his lips over Buck's skin, then presses a delicate kiss just below the head of him. Lifts the heft of Buck's cock away from where it rests on his belly, just enough to get his mouth on him properly, and then he's suckling at the head, tongue dipping into the slit, and Buck can feel the way Eddie's saliva pools around him.

Buck whines at the wet heat of it. Fingers scrambling for something to hold, but he doesn’t dare touch. Tries so hard to keep his hips from hitching. Remembers this is Eddie's first time—can feel it in the curious way Eddie's tongue twists around him, in the careful way he tries to dip lower, taking just the smallest bit at a time, keeping his fist wrapped loosely around Buck's length to help guide him.

But it's so fucking good, and Buck sobs with desperation as he tries to keep himself still. 

Feels Eddie smirk around his mouthful, and then pull off, pressing a kiss to Buck's belly with wet lips, before resting his chin there, eyes turning up to gaze at Buck, as he strokes his length, grip firm and sure. 

He makes the prettiest contrast—all sweet and quiet in the delicate look he turns up at Buck and absolutely obscene in the way he fists Buck's cock—and Buck can't help the way he chokes out Eddie's name again in a desperate plea, shaking with the effort to keep his hands to himself for fear of pushing.

Eddie's having none of it, though. Sees the tension in the way Buck's holding himself back. 

“You can touch,” Eddie assures him, confident and gentle—a tone he uses so easily with Buck that it makes his heart stutter sometimes.

“Don't—” Buck tries, breaks off on a gasp as Eddie twists his wrist just right “—don't wanna force you.”

Eddie lets out a breath that sounds like a chuckle, air ghosting over the most sensitive parts of Buck and making him shiver. “You're not forcing anything, sweetheart.”

Buck shakes his head, tries to regain some semblance of rational thought. “Don't wanna get carried away. Want you to be in control.”

“I'm not gonna break,” Eddie insists.

And Buck blinks hard. Tries to form words. Notices the way Eddie slows his strokes and loosens his grip to give Buck a moment of relief. Buck loves him and hates it all the same. Thrusts carefully into Eddie's fist and notices the fond smile that calls to Eddie's mouth. Like he’s trying not to burst with joy at catching Buck so sweetly vulnerable.

“It's your first time,” Buck pleads, because he wants so badly to touch, but he's also so afraid of pushing Eddie too far too fast.

“You can touch,” Eddie repeats, all gentle voice and delicate smile. “You're not gonna break me, Buck. I trust you. With all of me.”

Buck swallows hard at that. Breathes out through his nose to try to keep his emotion in check. “Yeah?” Buck confirms again, all big eyes he knows Eddie can't resist.

Eddie smiles again, fond and adoring, as he uses his free hand to twine his fingers with Buck's. Drags Buck's hand close and then gives it a squeeze and lets him go. Gets a hand back on his hip and pets at his waist, digs his fingers in just a little to stake his claim, and Buck thinks he might die for it.

Buck, tentative as he is, reaches out to twine his fingers through Eddie's hair. Lets one hand fall to the curve of Eddie's neck, thumb tracing the cut of Eddie's jaw and the swell of his lips. Holds on as Eddie smiles again, a little predatory this time, and then shifts to get his mouth back around Buck. Moans low as the taste of precome that hits his tongue and squeezes Buck's hip in encouragement when Buck lets them lift in desperation. 

Buck doesn't let himself get carried away, but god, he's never felt anything quite like what Eddie's giving him. Tugs just a little at Eddie's hair, an experiment that earns another groan from Eddie and has him forcing himself down a little too far, until his throat spasms and he's pulling back to where he can breathe through it. Eddie keeps the tip in his mouth, suckles at it and keeps his tongue moving even as he recovers.

“God, you're beautiful.” The words slip out, full of a kind of reverence Buck's not sure he's ever felt before, and they have Eddie tilting his eyes up, letting loose a shivering breath that Buck can see is all a response to his words—a moment of vulnerability that maybe shouldn't be so impactful, considering, but it is, and Buck feels a little like he’s flying and also maybe like he’s dying from it. Doesn't understand this feeling or the way it centers around Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. It's not the sex. Not the moments of prolonged pleasure or the heat of their bodies or even the feel of Eddie's mouth around him. It's the delicate look of adoration in those eyes, the sweet way Eddie's taking control and guiding them because he knows Buck can't. It feels something like love in a way Buck's never known it, and he thinks he might die to keep it.

Eddie takes Buck deeper again, moans around Buck's length when Buck's fingers tighten just a hint in his hair at the feel of him. Eddie's a little more careful this time, strokes firmly at what he can't take and swallows around what he can as Buck leaks on his tongue. 

“Eddie,” Buck gasps, tugging a little at his hair, and letting a hand fall lower to grip at Eddie's shoulder just to touch because he's so fucking overwhelmed with it. Eddie hums around him, and Buck's choking on his breath. Warns, “I'm so close, Eddie. Eddie. E-eddie, I'm gonna come. Eddie.”

Buck's orgasm takes Eddie by surprise, even with the warning. He sputters for a moment, pulls back until just the tip of Buck's cock remains closed between his lips, and swallows around him, dragging a desperate groan out of Buck as his fingers scramble out of Eddie's hair, hands drifting to frame his cheeks.

“Fuck, Eddie,” Buck gasps, breath coming hard as he strokes at Eddie's jaw, presses at the hinge of it until Eddie gets the message. Meets Buck's gaze with his own, eyes tearing with the effort as he lets his mouth fall open, just enough that Buck can watch the rest of his release pool across Eddie's tongue. 

Eddie stays still for him. Lets Buck drag exploring fingers over his skin, his hair, his lips. And Buck can't help the way he whimpers when Eddie smiles, open mouthed, kitten licks at the head of Buck's cock, careful not to spill the mess on his tongue, and then closes his lips around the head, suckles gently, and swallows.

Buck moans, low and loud, and squirms at the overstimulation. Tugs gently at Eddie's hair.

Eddie lets him go, strokes gently once, twice more, just to hear the shuddering breath it forces out of Buck, and then lets Buck's softening cock rest against the cut of his groin. Lets his hands stray to massage at Buck's hips and thighs as they come down from the high.

When Eddie looks up at him again, eyes big and sweet and wet, Buck nearly loses his breath all over again. There's a bit of white clinging to the corner of Eddie's mouth, remnants of Buck's release offering a stark reminder that this was anything—everything—but a dream, and Buck can't help the way his breath stutters to a stop as he reaches down to cup Eddie's chin in his palm, Eddie nuzzling into him. Buck's thumb strokes absent-mindedly over Eddie's cheek for a moment as Eddie lets his eyes fall closed, and Buck—still transfixed on that streak of white—finds himself skating his thumb closer, catching the milky substance and pushing it past Eddie's lips. For his part, Eddie opens his eyes, meets Buck's own, a little smirk of mischief dancing in his gaze as he parts his lips just enough to suck Buck's thumb into his mouth, tongue twisting delicately around the soft flesh of Buck's fingertip as he cleans away any remnants of Buck's release, moaning low in his throat as he swallows around him.

“Fuck, Eddie, come here,” Buck murmurs desperately, tugging gently at Eddie's chin, thumb still trapped between Eddie's lips. 

Buck fumbles a bit hauling Eddie up and over him, shifting until they both fit onto the couch, Buck's leg hiked up against the couch back, other foot planted firmly on the floor, so he can drag Eddie between his spread thighs. Before they're even settled, Eddie's grabbing harshly at Buck's chin, so he can get his lips on Buck's, and Buck is reduced to desperate whimpers that Eddie swallows down around a smile.

It's fucking intoxicating.

“Off,” Buck begs, muffled against Eddie's mouth, as he shoves at Eddie's shirt, tucking one hand up underneath it to get to Eddie's bare skin as the other dips below the waistband of Eddie's underwear, just enough to tease. Eddie grins, desperate and wild, teeth catching Buck's lip as he shoves into Buck's touch, Buck's mouth open and pliant as he groans low and holds tight to Eddie. In answer, Eddie tugs at the material of his shirt one handed, too preoccupied with Buck's mouth to dip back and unbutton properly. He doesn't get far, the buttons refusing to give in his haste, much to Buck's dismay. Buck huffs in frustration, shoving the material up Eddie's chest, another irritated “off” growled out into Eddie's mouth, teeth catching sharp on Eddie's bottom lip. 

Eddie smiles, lets a happy laugh slip as he reaches up to drag a teasing finger down Buck's cheek before pulling his mouth away just long enough to tug the offending fabric up over his head. Buck latches onto Eddie's throat the moment it's bared, purring out his satisfaction at the newly exposed skin as he sucks a mark into a spot that makes Eddie squirm.

“Buck,” Eddie breathes, a hot rush of breath tickling Buck's curls as Eddie sinks his fingers in and holds him tight, elbows pressing into Buck's shoulders.

Buck grins against his neck and slides an arm around Eddie's back, the fingers still tucked in Eddie's waistband petting teasingly over the soft skin at his hip. Tugs back and away just far enough to break Eddie's hold and shift up, breath whisper-quiet at Eddie's ear as he murmurs “tell me what you want, Eddie,” all confident swagger, even as his belly fills with butterflies—a delicate mix of nerves and desperation at the thought of getting his hands on Eddie, maybe even a little more eager than he was to have Eddie's hands on him.

Eddie whimpers. A needy little sound that Eddie tucks into Buck's neck, ghosting a delicate kiss there. “Touch me,” he begs, hips shifting just right to have Buck's fingertips slipping just a little lower.

Buck smirks at that, tugging Eddie close enough to feel the hard ridge of him pressed to Buck's belly, and Buck shivers at the all too real reminder that they're actually here. That Eddie's open and willing and wanting Buck. And for a moment it gives him pause��has him catching his breath with the reality of it all.

And when Eddie tilts his chin back, eyes finding Buck's as he smiles—all joy and adoration—and then presses another kiss to the corner of Buck's mouth, murmured devotion lost in its wake, Buck can't help but claim Eddie's mouth for his. Kisses Eddie sweet and slow as he shifts to shimmy Eddie's briefs down, just enough to get a hand on him, and then Eddie's mouth is falling open against Buck's, a sweet whine pitched high as Buck starts to tease, touch featherlight as he drags his fingertips up Eddie's shaft.

“Tease,” Eddie accuses, tugging away from Buck's mouth just the slightest bit, breath harsh as he presses into Buck's touch, begging with all he has when words fail him.

Buck lets a slow smirk slip over his mouth, kisses at Eddie's jaw. “So desperate for me,” almost a whisper, but cocky enough to have Eddie whining in answer again. “You want more, baby?”

Eddie blinks hard, breath stuttering as he tucks his face into Buck's neck and sobs when Buck, instead of waiting for an answer, wraps his fingers tight around Eddie's cock and strokes slow. The pressure just right to have Eddie squirming and thrusting up into Buck's fist, trying to gain some kind of control over Buck's pace. Buck stills him, wrapping his free arm tight around Eddie's waist and pressing him down against Buck's thighs to immobilize him as best he can. Kisses the shell of Eddie's ear when he hears Eddie whimper a quiet “please,” and squeezes at Eddie's hip to calm him.

“Wanna take my time with you,” Buck admits, the cocky swagger in his tone faltering and falling into something a little sweeter and a little softer that gives away the edge of fear that this is all he'll have. 

He hates himself a little bit for letting the facade fall when he feels Eddie still, body shaking with the effort, as he shifts back, hands reaching to frame Buck's face, fingers gentle as they fan over his cheeks. Buck feels his eyes dampen with emotion again as Eddie studies his features, taking in the worried downturn of his mouth and the furrow of his brow.

And then Eddie's leaning in, pressing a delicate kiss to the pink of Buck's birthmark, and Buck can't stop the lone tear that tracks down his cheek. Eddie, breath still calming, gives him another sweet smile and wipes away the evidence with a gentle sweep of his thumb. “Next time,” he murmurs, all full of promise, shifting to peck at Buck's lips, “you can take your time with me next time.”

Buck's breath catches at that, eyes big and hopeful. “Y-yeah?”

Eddie smiles, bright and happy and kisses Buck hard and sweet. “Yeah,” he promises, all fond joy. Buck nods his acceptance, squeezing Eddie's hip and refocusing on the job at hand, giving Eddie another experimental stroke just to tease him, and Eddie shakes in his arms and whimpers, letting his forehead fall against Buck's.

“Yeah?” Buck asks again, tone shifting, cocky smirk finding its way back onto his lips.

“Yes,” Eddie hisses, arms falling back to frame Buck's shoulders, hands sinking up into his curls. “Now, can you please make me come? I'm so fucking close and you're so good. Just. Please. Buck.”

Buck doesn't make him wait. Swipes his thumb over the head of Eddie's cock, just to tease, and then picks up a steady rhythm, stroking with a firm grip. Eddie groans, tugs at Buck's hair, and drags Buck's mouth down to the crook of his neck. Buck takes the hint, mouth turning up into a grin against Eddie's skin as he bites gently at the muscle there and then soothes the sting with his tongue. Sucks at Eddie's skin until Eddie's choking on a moan, crushing Buck closer and clutching hard at his curls, a broken “Bu-uck” ripping from his lips as Buck twists his wrist just right.

“Yeah,” Buck mumbles, prying his mouth away against the force of Eddie's grip. Kisses the shell of his ear, the hinge of his jaw, the corner of his lips. “Eddie. Come for me.”

Eddie chokes on a groan, leans in to catch Buck's mouth in a desperate kiss as he loses control, body thrusting up into Buck's touch as his orgasm crashes through him. Leaves him panting and whining against Buck's lips as Buck works him through it, touch shifting from firm to gentle as Eddie shakes in his arms.

As Eddie comes down from the high of it all, he shifts until he's resting against Buck, face tucked into Buck's neck as his breathing evens out and his heartbeat returns to some semblance of normal.

Buck smiles, pressing delicate kisses to Eddie's temple and petting a hand through his hair, gentle touch soothing in the afterglow.

“Made a mess of you,” Eddie murmurs after long moments of quiet, eyes transfixed on the pool of come on Buck's bare chest, fingers reaching to slide through the remnants of his release. Buck's eyes track the movement, watching, transfixed, as Eddie scrapes what he can onto two long fingers.

When Eddie draws his hand away, Buck can't help himself from reaching out to catch his wrist. Draws Eddie’s fingers into his mouth and sucks them clean. Leaves Eddie blinking in surprise and breathing a little heavier at the twist of Buck's tongue.

“Fuck,” Eddie murmurs, all awe and heat, as Buck pulls away.

Buck smirks up at him, laves his tongue around the tips of Eddie's fingers one last time. “Needed a taste,” Buck flirts, voice pitched low, “till I can get my mouth on you properly. Next time.”

Eddie can't hold back the laugh that bursts from his chest at that, joy overflowing as he dips down to lick the taste of himself from Buck's mouth, Buck smiling against his lips the whole way.

“Keep it up,” Eddie threatens, all sexy playful swagger as he draws back just a breath, “and next time might come sooner than you think.”

“Mmm,” Buck hums, pressing another sweet kiss to Eddie's lips, drawing Eddie down tighter against his chest, “promises, promises.”

Eddie's eyes soften, take on that sweet quality Buck's seen for years but never really noticed like he is in this moment. Feels his breath catch as Eddie reaches up to push the sweaty curls back away from Buck's eyes and holds his gaze.

“Have lots of promises for you,” Eddie entrusts, delicate smile betraying an adoration Buck's not sure he's worthy of. “Plan to keep ‘em all.”

Buck's breath catches again, eyes shining with emotion at just how big all of this feels. At just how deep his feelings for Eddie run.

He nods. A quiet affirmation that he plans to let Eddie offer them all. That he understands the weight of everything they are and everything he thinks they will be.

But he can't speak the words yet—everything too deep and too raw and too fresh. His mind a mess of adoration and joy, but also a tangle of confusion and fear alongside the hope.

So he doesn't speak it yet.

Instead, tucks Eddie against his chest. Takes his weight. Wraps him tight in his arms and holds on.

Eddie clings just as tight.

—

[f1cflcfic]

The Prophecy (SMAU ft. Lando Norris): Epilogue

pairing: lando norris x singer!reader (fem!y/n)

summary: what happens after the break-up that noone saw coming? as Y/N L/N gears up to release her next album, each song reveals a little bit of the past, present and future of her relationship with Lando Norris. Inspired by a curated playlist built around "The Prophecy".

note: this is RPF and is obviously in no way, shape, or form reflective of real persons. also, this chapter contains some (implicit) references to sex.

genre: social media au (with written parts), angst, exes to lovers, happy ending

[A/N: hehe it's never really over, this is for my bff who just got engaged over the weekend <3]

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

♥･*:.｡ ｡.:*･ﾟ♡･*:.｡ ｡.:*･ﾟ♥

June, 2027

[Excerpt from Y/N L/N's Buzzfeed Playing with Puppies Interview]

Y/N is sitting down on the floor, enthusiastically chatting to someone off camera. “Listen Roz I’m so serious, you’re going to have to physically incapacitate me when I want to take them all home. It will happen, and you will need to stop me.”

Someone from the crew giggles, as they instruct Y/N to readjust her lavalier microphone.

“Alright, so it’s super easy – you just sit there, and we bring the pups to you!”

“Oh my god. This is my dream. I always say to my friends that I’d just really love to be in a puppy pile, and it’s finally happening. The pinnacle of my career. This is why I became a singer,” she chatters, then gasps as the first puppies are brought out.

“Oh hiiii,” she almost whimpers at the sight of them, some a little more active, others a little sleepy. One immediately snuggles into her lap, and Y/N looks off-camera to someone meaningfully. “I am taking him home.” Someone can be heard laughing and saying “no, you can’t” in response, to which Y/N sighs in defeat.

“So, can you tell us who you are, and what you do”

“My name’s Y/N L/N, and I’m a singer-songwriter. But today I’m a professional puppy cuddle buddy.”

“Here’s your first question – you mentioned recording a song in Taylor Swift’s studio for the Prophecy. What does it look like?”

“Oh my – oh they smell so good I swear, I’m so sorry I didn’t hear a word you said.” The interviewer repeats the question, as Y/N tries really hard to maintain eye contact with them instead of the puppies roaming around her.

“It’s a really beautiful space, a sanctuary, really. And it’s just amazing to think that so many iconic songs and albums have been partially written and recorded there as well. Taylor is a wonderful friend to have in this industry, and – oh just look at this little guy. He’s so cute!!!”

“Second question: You’re in the middle of a world tour right now. What was your own first tour that you remember going to?”

“Oh look at this one, he’s just playing around, such a little goofball. Sorry, sorry – the question. My first concert? You know it was probably some type of children’s act? My parents aren’t super into music, so the first time I went to see someone and paid for the ticket myself, it was probably Taylor actually.”

“Third question: You said you’re into reading. What’s your latest recommendation?”

“I try to read, yeah! It’s so easy to get sucked into my phone, but I always bring books and an e-reader. Oof, careful little guy, those tiny teeth are sharp,” she disentangles her finger from a puppy’s mouth, then hugs him close to her chest and kisses his head. “I love you, don’t worry. So, yeah, what was I saying? I think with reading I’m always in two minds about it. I enjoy literary fiction, but I also love fantasy. So I recently started There Are Rivers in the Sky from Elif Shafak, and then I’ve been re-reading the Fourth Wing series by Rebecca Yarros. Love that dragon. Maybe we should name you Tairn, or Xaden,” Y/N points at a puppy with dark fur and brown eyes.

“Do they all have names already? All of them are up for adoption, right? But surely these personalities – ah okay. His name’s Lewis?” She smiles cheekily, but doesn't comment further.

One of the dogs lets out a pitiful little whine, and Y/N immediately looks down. “What’s up little pup? Are you unhappy? Can we get them some water, some snacks?”

Someone steps in with a bowl of water, then asks the next question. “What’s something you do to relax on your days off?”

“Hmm aside from reading? Honestly, I love to just hang out with my family. Go do minigolf, something fun together.”

“Not actual golf?”

Y/N snorts, her fingers absentmindedly petting the puppies that have since fallen asleep in her lap. “My partner has tried to get me into it, and I love how much he enjoys it, but it’s not for me. So I’ll happily drive the golf cart and cheer him on instead.”

“Are you not competitive?”

You scrunch your nose at the word. “I think I am, but I’m more scared of others thinking I’m not good enough – so then I abandon serious pursuit of victory. If it’s just a laugh, then it’s fine if you’re not great at something. It’s something I’m working on!”

She kisses one of the pups that’s woken up from its nap on his tiny nose. “I love you, you, you’re such a tiny little angel aren’t you?”

“Alright, next question: If you were in an emergency situation, who would you call to bail you out?”

“Probably Lando. He’d be fast, you know?” Y/N smiles at the camera. “By the way, he’s going to be SO jealous of me for getting to hang out with pups all day.”

“If you weren’t a singer-songwriter, what do you think you’d be doing?”

“Hmm, I’d probably have gone to university – maybe literature, or maybe political science. Then I’d go work for an NGO? I’d love to know I was making a difference in people’s lives I think.”

“Last question – what are you most looking forward to?”

“Aside from the new, upgraded tour? I can’t believe I’ll be playing stadiums. That feels very surreal. Apart from that, we’re getting some renovations done on the house right now and I’m super excited to see my library fantasy come to life. I want to have a ladder on wheels.”

You quietly stroke the fur of a red and white puppy that’s been curled up in your lap since the beginning. “I’m going to cry having to give these back. But I’m going to, I will. It’d be irresponsible to adopt a dog right now, maybe next year we’ll get on that. Please, if you are able and willing, adopt these sweet little puppies – and I will personally come by and hangout with your pup and you.”

The screen fades to black, and then there’s a shaky camera that follows Y/N as she laughs while talking on the phone. “I know! I said you would,” she’s overheard saying. “There’s one in particular, I just – ” she trails off, listening to whatever’s being said on the other end of the line. “Do you really think so?” Her smile widens. “I love you so much, you have no idea,” she nods excitedly at her assistant and starts walking towards the animal shelter representative. “Yeah I’ll keep you posted, say hi from me to your brother and Sav please. Ok, see you. Bye.”  

August 14th, 2027

December 8th, 2027

June 18th, 2028

♥･*:.｡ ｡.:*･ﾟ♡･*:.｡ ｡.:*･ﾟ♥

You can read the previous parts & access various bonus content by going here

♥ likes, comments, reblogs are always very much appreciated ♥

taglist (open) : @charlesgirl16, @linnygirl09, @hoeforsirius, @motorsportloverf1, @sarx164, @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff, @formulaal, @tvdtw4ever @sadiemack9 @seonghwaexile @screamingwines

[cuntyhunty22]

Guilty as sin : chapter 1

Summery : you move home after being gone for years.. you are trying to adjust to life back home after dealing with heartbreak. You didn't know to heal a heart it would take two people who happen to be brothers.

Word count: tbh I'm unsure.. but ITS A LONG ONE. (I should have broke it up part 2 is already almost finished)

This will be multiple parts let me know if you want tagged.

Pairing : Joel!dbf x reader : Tommy x reader

Tags : age gap , SMUT , language, love triangle, cream-pie (be smart about that) , oral:f:receiving, oral:m:receiving , fingering, squirt, daddy use (once) Dom Joel , slight sub Joel . (I am sure I'm missing things but you get it. )

Reader is a mess.. but we love her 🫶🏼

Music recs : guilty as sin : Taylor swift

Francesca : hozier

Love you tonight : Ella Langley

Somebody else : the 1975

Delicate : Taylor swift

Love song : Lana del Rey

For the past three years you have been studying abroad. England, Spain, Norway. Pretty much anywhere you could go to travel and learn you did. Now you are home for the summer...

The sun beams into your childhood bedroom followed by the sound of a lawn mower. You groan into your pillow, still very much jet lagged. You have been trying to get yourself back on to this time schedule. You lay there for a moment before finally giving in and getting up. You throw on a pair of little boxer shorts and a tiny cami then you head downstairs. You pop your headphones in as that's apart of your morning routine. It's always a good day when you start with music. You start a pot of coffee dancing around the kitchen, then you open the refrigerator rummaging through looking for coffee creamer. Your dad prefers his coffee black but he always has some stashed for you. Your favorite, French vanilla. You're practically bent over in the fridge searching when you finally find it. You back up quickly running your back into what felt like a brick wall. Strong Hands touch your waist just to push you forward. You spin around to see your dad's best friend standing there... Joel miller.

"Mornin kiddo how are ya."

You still have your headphones in as you stare at him bewildered. embarrassed.. kind off.

"Huh sorry.. was listening to music."

You crack a smile. He stands in front of you, a few feet taller. That teeshirt hugging him just right. Tan skin, dark brown eyes....

You snap out of it realizing you were staring.

"You kids and your technology. I asked how are ya..?"Joel scoffs annoyed that you weren't paying attention. He's always been kind of a grumpy man.

"Jet lagged, I made coffee if you want some." You gesture to the coffee pot In the corner like he hasn't been in Your house a billion times. You dont know what's gotten into you but he's making you nervous. He looks different... a good different.

Your dad enters the kitchen sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Morning honey, I see Joel came in and said hello. Told him earlier you were home... Oh you made coffee! Wonderful."Your dad smiles ear to ear.

He has really missed you. As of now his house is completely empty. You have been abroad and your baby sister has moved to teach less fortunate children.

"He did, and yeah couldn't relax between the bright sun and the loud ass lawn mower..." you let out a yawn.

You peek over to see Joel looking at you.. your legs mainly. Afraid you caught him, his head snaps in the opposite direction.

"Ah yeah sorry honey should have thought about that. Supposed to get super hot today so Joel and I here, were trying to get some yard work finished before it's unbearable out."Your dad sipping on his coffee, scrolling through his phone.. on espn probably.

"I have to go to aunt dollys wedding rehearsal later anyway.. and the pre wedding party is tonight. Thought about hitting the mall for some clothes."

Joel still standing leaning up against the counter.

"Joel you gotta go to that too dontcha? you're like Randy's best man.?"

You look at him waiting for him to respond to you.

"Yeah I'll be there."

His grip on the coffee cup tightens as you walk past him to sit down at the table.

"Joel could you drive her? I gotta go pick up her sister from the airport would be just easier." Your dad asks.

You look over at him, your eyes glisten in the sun. Joel has driven you places tons of times. Between movies with Sarah his daughter or high school football games when he'd scare the boys away.

Sarah and you are about 4 years apart.

"Yeah- yeah uh I can. S'not a problem." Joel shrugs.

"Lovely we can catch up. Dad I'm gonna try to nap, respond to a few emails, see you later.. love you."

You kiss your dad's head, leaving Joel with a smile before grabbing your cup of coffee and heading to your bedroom.

•

Once you are upstairs you lay there for a moment. Images of Joel flood your brain... the stubble on his face, his strong features, the slight grey patches in his beard and hair. You roll over groaning not knowing why this is why you are thinking about. You blame it on jet lag. You pop open your laptop, doing your daily scroll. There is something you have been avoiding but you gave in. You typed in your exs name..

He was one of the reasons you even moved abroad. You had met him here in college. You fell in love and he convinced you to move to England. Things were great they really were, but you both just became busy with life. Eventually you agreed to take time away.. that's been about 10 months now. You guess he's been dating someone but you haven't spoken to one another. Just some things you have heard. You have really just been focusing on yourself.

His profile popped up.. he's currently on vacation in Greece (a place he has always promised to take you )

You click through the posted pictures and there is one of your old roommate from London.. Then it hits you.. that's why you havent heard from her.. why she has ghosted you.

That's who he has been dating.

You scoff

"fuckin asshat." You mumble to yourself.

You slam the laptop shut. Pop your head phones in, and shut your eyes... you relax a bit.. dozing off..

"Oh Joel.. yess right there.."

Joel has your tiny boxer shorts pulled down, as you are bent over on the kitchen table nails digging into the wood as he fucks you.. he fucks you hard.. harder than your ex ever did..

"You look so pretty taking my cock darlin' "

"I'm gonna -"

You shoot up from your bed, shaking.

You look around realizing you fell asleep. Then you realized what you were dreaming about. Your core aching from some fucked up joke your unconscious mind was playing on you. You absolutely can not be horny for your dad's best friend.

But what if you were...

•

You try to shake off the feelings or whatever the hell was going on in your brain. Trying to run from that, your focus has now become on your ex. Honestly it fucking hurts. You didn't know if you even wanted your ex back but it was the point of being lied to. Being ghosted by someone you called a friend, and even more so your ex always swore to be your friend above everything else.

You decided to skip the mall and just wear something you already had. You knew you wanted something to show off your legs because as hard as you were trying to ignore whatever what was going on you couldn't.

You picked out a cream lace baby doll dress, paired with some cowboy boots. You curled your long hair, makeup pretty natural but glowy, paired with some Glossy lips.

It was about 4:30 now, the rehearsal is at 5:30. If you know Joel miller.. you know he's gonna be early.

•

4:45 his truck pulls up with a honk. You make your way outside, Joel hops out to open your door. This wasn't a new thing it was just how he was.. how he always has been.. but for some reason today it hit a bit different.

"Thanks Joel, you don't have too I can get it." You give him a smile.

"Absolutely not darlin, it's a man's thing to do.. what boys over there have no manners? " He lets out a cocky chuckle

You couldn't tell if he was being an asshole or actually just joking trying to start a conversation. You didn't respond because honestly it wasn't something you wanted to talk about. You stayed quiet for the first few minutes of the drive. Joel could tell something was wrong.

"You gonna talk darlin, or we just gonna sit In silence.. you act like I'm some stranger."

He looks over at you, his side profile being illuminated by the golden hour light. Those thoughts from earlier creep in. His eyes trail over you, from your eyes, down your body, like he's taking in every part of you.

"Yeah sorry. Um just tired is all..."

"You've always been a terrible liar you know that.." he looks over at you.

"I have not." You roll your eyes.

"You have, I knew you were lying when you took Sarah to those house parties and I had to come get you... when you snuck to Dallas to see some boy.. when I also had to rescue you because you said you were staying at my house and you didn't want your ol man finding out."

"Sounds like you are sayin you have a habit of saving me.." you scoff.

He just looks at you like he's trying to figure out if he's looking at the girl he's watched grow up, or the woman that she now is. Just like that you arrive to the venue. Joel comes around letting you out, he grabs your hand to help you hop out of his truck. Just the touch of his hand sends shockwaves to your body.

His big rough calloused hands, how tiny yours looked next to his. Joel and you walk side by side into the building. You are greeted with hugs and hellos from people you haven't seen in years. As you are doing your mingling you can't help but watch Joel. How easily his presence is known, how cool and collected he always has been, and there it is.. that look to you. For even just a second that cool and collected fades and you see something else.

You continue mingling waiting for dolly and Randy to get things started. Your Aunt dolly comes running over as soon as she laid eyes on you.

"Oh my darling girl, how are you.. how's London boy." She kisses your cheek.

"Hi auntie, um well-"

You notice Joel is in earshot now.

"Well dolly men across the pond are just as bad as men here." You crack a smile.

"Awww honey you just need a good ol Texas man..like your daddy, Randy or even Joel."

You choke, making yourself cough.

"Sorry tickle In my throat."

You look over at Joel, acting like he's not listening but you think you saw a slight smile.

She brings you in for another hug before going back over to her wedding planner. More people file in, your sister has arrived, Tommy Joel's brother.. and Sheila. Sheila is dollys best friend but she's also had the biggest crush on Joel for years.

•

"Okay everyone, let's get started.. I have each groomsman paired with a bridesmaid.."

Dolly names people off the list.. and you just had this feeling she'd pair Joel with Sheila. Maybe you with Tommy, you two have always been really cool, he's handsome. softer than Joel. Dolly surprisingly does the opposite.

"My darlin.. you are with mr Joel miller here.."

you both look at one another.

Sheila comes over, she's never been your biggest fan. "Honey how about you go with Tommy.. I know yall are close.. he's more your age.. more your speed. Joel clenches his jaw.

You look at her and a laugh slips from your lips.

"Jesus Sheila can't give it up can ya.. no I'm cool with being with Joel thanks though"

You give her a cocky smirk as you link your arm with Joel's.

She glares at you as she stomps away.

"Guess t'was your turn to save me." Joel smiles and you both laugh. You gently pull your arm away from him as you left it linger there for a moment maybe a moment too long.

"Glad to be of service, she sure hasn't changed..."

"Yeah.. but you have.."

Joel looks at you, you cock your head not really knowing what he meant by that.

The wedding music blasts through the building bringing him back to what actually was going on. Rehearsal went well, Joel is your partner for all the wedding duties, walking down the isle, and going into the reception together. For some reason you think maybe just maybe life is trying to tell you something...

•

rehearsal ends.

Everyone is getting ready to head to the local bar for the before wedding party. You were overstimulated by everything so you decided to walk outside and get some air. You walk over by Joel's truck to find Tommy with a flask in hand.

"Hey buddy.. you wanna share.?"

You smile as he brings you into a hug.

"Hey sweetheart.. how's things.. been a long time.."

You take a swig from the flask making you gag...

"Fucking hell Tommy what is that.. but um

Im fine I guess, im back home, dont really know what im doing with my life but ya know.."

You take another swig, handing it back to him.

"Does anyone know what they want to do with life? I went to the army but here I am been back here for a minute now. You got a boyfriend still?" Tommy takes a drink from the flask.

Your eyes get wide choking again , either on that question or the burn of whatever poison Tommy is drinking.

"No ... no I don't Tommy... please don't tell me you're hitting on me..."

Tommy gives you a smirk.. the same smirk Joel has but softer..

"No.. I wasn't trying to.. but I mean.."

He trails off with a laugh

(He definitely was )

"was just checking in on ya sweetheart. your ol man tells us about you, but that's something he wasn't sure about, he was actually kind of worried about you...have you told him?

"Tommy miller giving me an intervention who would have fucking thought ... no.. now pass me the flask." You give him a little punch on the arm.

You take another big swig when you notice Sheila and Joel walking out together.

"Fucking gross..." you gag.

"What the whiskey.. come on girl that's what you grew up on , what the England bloke made you soft..?"

"No that.." your eyes shift over to Joel and Tommy cackles.

"Yeah she won't ever let it go.. pass the flask it's gonna be a long night."

You stand there for a bit with Tommy until Joel comes over. You are already feeling a buzz but you needed it.

"Little brother, you taking care of our girl while I was gone." Joel comes over putting himself between you and Tommy. He looks you up and down the same way he has been doing all day.

"I'm spectacular Mr miller, let's go to the bar..."

Joel looks at the flask,, to you, then to Tommy.

"Jesus Tommy. Seriously."

"Hey don't yell at him. I'm an adult.. I can do what I want and what I wanted was to drink with Tommy so drive me to the bar Joel." You stumble a bit, Joel grabbing your arm helping you into the truck.

Tommy closes the door walking over to his truck. Joel pulls out, he's silent. You shift in your seat to look at him leaning forward on the middle console your face inches away from his.

"What are you doin.." Joel's voice gruff.

"Nothing... just thinking.." you keep staring at him.. you want to touch him so bad.. but you won't... Then suddenly you do..

You run your hand through his curls then down his jaw. His face falling into your touch. Joel lets out a little moan, followed by a cough trying to make it seem like nothing.

"I'm thinkin you shouldn't be drinkin with my brother..."

You laugh at him.

"Why not Joel? I'm not a child. And for fucks sake it was Tommy. What are you jealous?"

(Bingo that's it.)

You scoff annoyed at him. "Don't see me yelling at you for walking out with Sheila. Maybe we should switch then. At least Tommy cares to talk to me about how I am today.. and how I have been.. you just wanna "save me" lecture me. You wanna act like you haven't been looking at me all night, how you just melted under my touch.."

Joel grips the steering wheel.

"Fine we will switch then, and I did try earlier. You been actin weird with me. And don't even start that.. don't put that out there.."

•

Joel parks in the lot for the bar. You don't wait for him to open your door. You hop out and make a bee line for the bar door. You are met with the group consisting of your sister, your dad, Tommy, dolly, Randy, Sheila and some of the rest of the wedding party. Joel trails behind you.

"My beautiful daughter." Your dad hugs you. " Miller you taking care of her.?"

"F'course." Joel looks at you as you walk in to the building. You head straight for the bar, Tommy by your side.

"Tommy I'm getting drunk, you tell your grumpy ass brother to leave me the fuck alone."

"Can't do that sweetheart.. you know Joel."

"Fuck Joel."

Tommy chuckles

(You really wish you could)

•

For the first half of the night it's just conversation with the group. Reminiscing about everything, you tell stories from your time abroad, trying avoiding the topic of London boy. Which eventually comes out, you just state you are separated but are on good terms. No need for all the details. Eventually your dad and sister head out. So does dolly and Randy. So that left you, Tommy, Sheila and Joel.

By this time the bar is packed. People dancing, wall to wall. Tommy has bought your drinks all night, taking shot after shot after shot.

"So you gon tell me what happened? Separation or whatever.. I know you. You ain't ever this quiet."

Tommy touches your hand and you pull away..

"Sorry didn't mean" he looks at you with puppy dog eyes.

You smile.

It is nice to feel wanted, or hell even just paid attention to.

" it's okay.. um.. well here look.."

You show him London boys Facebook. You are now seeing that there is a new post. He and your old friend are now engaged. You explain everything else practically in tears..

"That's a lot darlin, you deserve better. forgive me for being forward I can't help but be curious, but are you interested in anyone else.?" His drawl even more silky with the whiskey he's consumed. You let out a laugh because if anything he's persistent.

"Honestly Tommy.. I'm not sure.. I mean kind of but it's I don't even know. Plus now finding the engagement out.. it's just.. it's a lot.."

You don't know really it's just stolen glances, curiosity and the forbidden line of it. Now adding the underlying emotions of your ex being engaged to someone that's not you.. after years of thinking it would be.

He hands you another shot.

"Think this is needed." His hand on your shoulder massaging it gently.

As you take the shot you notice Sheila hugging up on Joel in the corner. You don't know why this affected you the way it has but you decided to take matters into your own hand. Knowing what you were about to do and how it would play out.

"Tommy. Let's dance"

•

You slam the shot back with ease as Tommy grabs you by the hand leading you into the sea of people. the bass of the music fills your ears. The alcohol fills your veins and rage fills your soul. You wrap your arms around Tommy's neck as you both dance to the beat of the music, his hands carefully trailing down your body as you sway back and forth. You look up and Joel is watching. Eyes dark. jaw locked.

Tommy swings you around your back now against him. His arm wrapped around your waist as you grind on him to the music. You feel the cold of his belt buckle through the sheer lace of your dress his bulge in his jeans stiff on your ass. His hands run through your hair as he lays a gentle kiss on the top of your shoulder making you shiver. The song switches and you decided you needed to use the restroom. You told Tommy you'd meet him back at the bar.

•

You walk down the dark hall way hearing heavy steps echo behind you. You don't look back. You open the door to the single bathroom, as you go to shut the door it was stoped by a boot shoving himself into the bathroom with you.

His big hands to your face, lips crashing to yours in an instant. Hungry kisses that consume one another his tongue invaded your mouth mixing with yours, the taste of cigarettes, mint and whiskey. He shoves your body against the wall hard as His lips trail down your jaw. Trailing down your neck. His hands cupping your breasts through your dress.

"Joel-" you whine.

"Shut up." His breath heavy as His hands reach under your dress, a hard grip on your thigh making you whimper.

"Fuck that sweet little sound." He growls.

"Joel-" you say in a whisper.

"I said shut up, what are you doin. You say that shit in the truck. Messing with my head then you come in here dancin like a whore on Tommy."

You shove him off you. Tears in your eyes.

"How fucking dare you. Do you even know what's wrong with me!? Have you been listening at all tonight Joel.. what happened in England.. that my ex is ENGAGED to my roommate.. now you wanna talk about what was said in the fucking truck.. or the fact that I dreamt about you today. That your the only thing I have thought about since this morning.."

Joel steps back looking you up and down. His jaw clinches as he's trying to find the words to speak. You step forward closing the space between, your hands run through his hair like you did earlier, his hand goes to the back of your neck tilting you up to look at him. His eyes dark and focused as he leans into you . Your lips grazing, his heavy breath shaking.

"This is..." joel trails off, as he plays with a strand of your hair.. "this is playing a dangerous game."

"Shut up and fuck me Mr miller." It was ballsy of you to say but fuck it.

Joel's hands immediately back under your dress. He gently rubs his fingers over the thin material of your panties covering your heat.

"Baby.. these are soaked.." his body pressing against yours, lips right in your ear.

"Yeah-" you throw your head back arching more towards him.

He does this again, but he rubs circles on your clit through your panties soaking them even more. Joel then hooks your panties with his fingers moving them to the side.

He dips one finger into your wetness, letting out a groan as he does. He pulls his finger out sticking it in his mouth sucking off your arousal. You let out a breathy moan watching him do that turning you on even more

"Fuck, you taste good.. tell me something darlin.."

His voice dark and sultry.

"Yeah Joel."

He reaches back down, inserting one finger into your cunt, already tightening on him.

"Who's got you this fucking wet... me.. or my brother...?"

It was filthy.. so fucking filthy.. filthy and forbidden.

"You.." you stifle a scream as Joel thrusts another finger into you.

"Yeah.. you sure baby... seen you grind that ass on him.. his hands on your body..his lips on your shoulder.."

Joel thrusts his fingers faster into you, you're already so close to your climax.

"You.. it's always been you ..ah fuck yes.. I touched myself to the thought of you this morning.. "

Joel freezes.

"You dirty girl.. horny for your old man's best friend.. cumming to the thought of me.. while you toy with my brother.."

he pumps a few more times before pulling his fingers out leaving you empty.

You whimper at the ache that's still there.

Joel kisses down your neck.

"What the fuck Joel." You look at him annoyed.

"You don't get to cum unless I say.. or unless I make you.." he smirks turning walking out of the bathroom. You stand there for a second trying to comprehend what just happened.

•

You go back out into the bar Joel is now standing by Tommy, Sheila there as well.

"There ya are sweetheart thought you got lost or kidnapped." Tommy smiles at you. You look over at Joel, his eyes focused on you and what your response was going to be.

"Yeah sorry just needed a minute." You fidget, not knowing what to do or say now.. because Tommy is great.. he always has been. So sweet so kind. Still rugged. But Joel.. Joel was mysterious, rugged, dominant , something that was deeper than what's on the surface.

Sheila proceeds to move herself between you and Joel, practically shoving you. You had enough of her and her antics. To be honest you were just fucking mad period. Mad at your ex, mad at your old roommate, mad at Joel.. mad you didn't cum on Joel's fingers, mad Joel didn't let you cum..mad that oddly you kinda wanna take Tommy up on his offer.. mad that whatever you are feeling for Joel won't let you try with Tommy. And fucking mad at Sheila for not taking a hint and just being a cunt.

You put your beer on the edge of the bar and "accidentally" spill it on her. She shrieks, looking at you pissed.

"What the hell was that.! Joel look what she did to me!"

Joel and Tommy trying not to laugh.

"Oops sorry maybe you need to learn personal space and that wouldn't happen."

You shrug as She rolls her eyes.

"You really ain't special ya know, you're back here because he broke up with you.. and I see what you're doing here.. she looks back and forth between Tommy and Joel. You are just a whore, like your momma, makes sense why your daddy left her."

Your fists are balled up as you go to step forward when you are pushed back by Tommy and picked up taken out of the bar by Joel..

•

Joel puts you on your two feet outside in the parking lot.

You look at him, tears in your eyes..

"Please don't..." you plead.

He looks at you as Tommy comes out the door, both of them just staring.

"I'm gonna take her home.. she is my responsibility tonight, I'm gonna make sure she gets back." Joel looking at Tommy.

"Sounds good big brother.. see you tomorrow." Tommy and Joel hug.

"Hey.. text me later okay.. if you want to talk anything.." Tommy touches your face wiping away a tear before he brings you into a tight hug. His hands didn't linger, didn't go anywhere they shouldn't have, he just hugged you.

"Okay.. bye Tommy thank you."

"Not a problem sweetheart. Get home safe"

Joel and you walk to his truck.. nothing was said but you could feel his emotions. He opens your door this time you don't argue, you take his hand as he helps you in. He starts the truck and just sits there for a moment.

"She's wrong ya know.. and m'sorry for what I said earlier.. that probably didn't help." Joel shifts his seat turning to look at you. You're fumbling with your fingers something you have always done when you're anxious. You jump when he grabs your hand, holding it tight, his calloused thumb rubbing little circles as He brings it up to his lips laying a soft kiss on it.

"Look at me." Joel's voice low but stern.

"Am I allowed to cry?" You look up at him face covered in your tears.

No hesitation he kisses you, really kisses you. Not the lust filled ones earlier, this one has some feeling behind it. You pull away.

"We can't.. it's too much.. I have too much-"

Ignoring you he kisses you again,

Messy top lip kiss. Pulling you over into the drivers seat putting you right on his lap. Your legs stratal him, his arms wrapped around you pulling you in closer and closer. You feel him under you, you feel yourself throbbing but you knew it wasn't the time nor the place. You give in to him, you let the kisses get deeper. You let him touch every part of you. You needed to feel something. Out of the corner of your eye you see Sheila walking out of the bar. You quickly hop back into the passenger seat, your dress basically falling off, your face flushed. Joel confused until he spots Sheila.

"Take me to your place." You say to Joel.

•

Drive there was quiet, his hand was on your thigh the entire time, occasionally you'd catch him staring at you, and you staring at him. In a way you knew that this was a bad idea, but you also knew it felt too right to not.. but then you had a lingering feeling of Tommy.. how free you felt earlier, how much he cared about you and how you felt. Your thoughts interrupted by your door opening.

"Sarah gone?" You ask.

"Yeah.. she will be back in the mornin for the wedding.."

"Okay."

Joel opens the door, and you are hit with countless memories. Cookouts, game nights, the night when you were 19 when a boy touched you appropriately you when he shouldn't have.. Joel threatening to kill him.. that night you witnessed how much Joel cared for you. Then again when you were 21.. sitting on his couch having a drink, the night you first really seen how attractive Joel was.. the same night he realized you grew up.

"You want comfy clothes, m'sure Sarah has somethin or you can wear somethin of mine.."

The thought of being in Joel's clothes was something you weren't sure you were ready for.. but it was something you now craved..

"A flannel would be nice, maybe some sweat pants."

A few moments later Joel has said things in hand.

"I don't gotta tell ya where the bathroom is. You already know."

You leave him with a smile. Walking down the same hall you have many times but this is different.. You change your clothes leaving your dress hanging on the door. You walk out to the living room Joel sitting there, legs spread, he looks huge. He looks like you want to climb him like a tree. Not saying a word you walk over standing in front of him. Lowering yourself onto him, legs on each side, the same position you were in the truck.

"Hi" you say.

"Hello" Joel's hands on your hips.

You lean into him, you just wanted to feel consumed by him. You rest your head on his shoulder as he tightens his arms around you.

"You wanna talk.?" Joel brushes your hair behind your ear.

"I don't know Joel. I don't even know where to begin."

"Mhmm. How bout you just say the first thing you think of and we go from there."

His thumb runs across your cheek.

"Well..right now.." you lay soft kisses down his jaw moving down his neck till you reach a sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder, making him him moan, shifting beneath you. "Right now I want to talk about that.. (you lay another kiss on him) I want to talk about how that makes you feel.. (and another kiss on his neck) how knowing I fucked myself so hard to the thought of you.." you nudge your hips forward applying a little pressure feeling him get stiff. "I want to talk about how wet I was for you earlier.."

Joel growls unbuttoning his flannel you have on exposing your breasts under. Joel curses under his breath as he takes you in.

" you gonna tell me or are you just gonna stare at me like you have all day."

You smirk.

"You're drunk. I can't. You will regret this in the mornin.. this is tricky.. this is..." Joel pulls himself back, you are still on his lap.

"Are you fucking serious... was I drunk this morning... was I drunk in the truck.. no I was tipsy maybe but not drunk. I can recall every fucking word I said. God damn it Joel. I'll just call Tommy." You hop off his lap turning to go to the bathroom to grab your dress and boots. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you did.

•

"Fuck it" he grabs the back of your neck spinning you around kissing you. His hands pushing the flannel off your body, Joel picks you up putting you back on the couch. Kissing down your body, every single inch.

"Your family is gonna kill me."

His hands sliding into the waist band of the sweats pulling them down.

"Open your legs and don't fucking move."

You sink down into the couch spreading yourself wide open, your cunt glistening with arousal. Joel gets on his knees kneeling below you. Two fingers spread your folds open.

"Fuck look at this, this pretty mess. You do as I say. Ya hear me."

"Yes" you shake under his touch, he hasn't even done anything yet and you feel like you could combust. "Please" you whine.

"Please what.. use your words." Joel holding your thighs open digging his fingers into your skin, his mouth inches away from your cunt.

"Fuck- me." This came out more of a plead than anything.

Joel lets out a sadistic chuckle.

"You're getting my mouth baby girl because you can't handle the rest. But this should take care of ya."

Before you could respond Joel's thick heavy tongue swipes up your cunt, he repeats this a few times up and down as you buck your hips. Craving for more, grinding on his face. Each time you buck forward Joel digs his fingers into your thighs harder and harder. You know it's gonna bruise but you don't even care. You've had men eat you out but not like this..

"Oh my god Joel.. fuck that feels .. fuck so good."

You tangle your fingers in his curls, pulling his face in even more to your heat.

Joel now focuses on your clit. Flicking his tongue over it, getting you right where he wants you. Shaking under him, he sucks on your bud.

"Hmm you taste so fucking good, so fucking sweet." You see black as he thrusts two fingers inside curling hitting that squishy little spot that will send you over the edge. You look down at Joel, seeing him peeking his big brown eyes up from your cunt as he sucks on you thrusting his fingers steady in and out.

"Joel- please.."

You feel yourself clinch on him, you know you are close but you don't want it to end.

"Don't stop, please don't stop."

Joel lets out an animal like growl as you squirt all over him.

"You filthy little girl, your soakin me baby, look at that.... you want more.?"

"Yes.. yes please more I'm.. ah fuck I'm close Joel.."

He picks up the pace, his fingers fuck your cunt fast and deep. You can't even think, can't even speak besides his name and moans.

"That's it.. yes.. good girl... almost there baby come for me.. you can do it.. I want you too.."

The climax fills you, white hot and hard your whole body quivers as you squirt everywhere again. You lay your head back panting.

"Joel." Your voice barely there.

"Yeah darlin."

You lift your head up, all fucked out but eyes still screaming for more. You shimmy off the couch on to your knees opening your mouth. He moves to you towering over top, he unzips his jeans, pulling down his boxers his long, girthy rock hard cock falls out and it's even bigger than you thought. Your eyes widen.

"You sure you can handle this...I don't think you can."

He's now pissing you off.

"Make me take it then."

Nothing more needed to be said. Your mouth wide open his hands on both sides of your head as he thrusts his cock slowly into your mouth. Starting off little by little he slides into your mouth, you swirl and flick your tongue across his tip making him buck his his hips shoving his cock into your mouth deeper.. harder.. Joel picks up his pace slamming in and out, hitting the back of your throat, choking on it covering your pretty face with spit.

"Jesus Christ, look at you.. look at you swallowing my cock like that... fuck... "

Joel's grip on your face tightened as he thrusted faster, fucking your throat in a frenzy. You couldn't breathe but you didn't care. You wanted to prove a point. You wanted to show him how desperate you were for him.

"Such a good fucking girl.. my filthy fucking girl.."

Joel thrusts in and out, spit now covering your chest, eyes watering. Hair completely fucked. He pulls out just for a moment, he tilts your chin up to look at him, showing him the mess he has made of you.

"you are beautiful on your knees all fucked out, all ready f'me.."

"Joel." You whimper, panting still trying to catch your breath. "I want you to cum."

No warning , no nothing he slams himself back into your throat. You choke.

"I decide on that baby.. haven't you learned."

Joel uses your throat. Rough and hard something about it has your body taking over by this ache again. You wiggle under him spreading your legs a bit more. Your hands trace down your body finding your wetness. You whimper against his cock, between the sensation of him using your throat how he wants, and now the slight pressure you applied to yourself knowing that just this morning this was all a fantasy to you. Joel notices your noticeable whimpering, when he sees you touching yourself he freezes. Cock hard just laying in your mouth.

"Is that how you did it this morning.. thinking about me.. you can't get enough can you.. needy little girl.. did I give you permission to touch yourself?" Joel taunts.

You look up at him, eyes wide as you bob your head up and down. Sucking the tip as it touches your lips. You knew he's probably gonna punish you for this but maybe you wanted that. You bob harder shoving his whole length in your mouth , choking on it you circle your clit harder. Joel takes a handful of your hair pulling you back to look at him.

"You want me to fuck you so badly don't you darlin.. you have been such a good girl... I'm not fucking you but I will cum in that mouth. And maybe just maybe I'll make you cum again... open your mouth.. tongue out."

Joel slaps his cock on your tongue, he rubs it on your lips before a hard thrust into your mouth.

"Go on .. show me how you did it.. how you played with your self.."

Joel fucked your mouth long hard thrusts, each time you circle your clit making you jerk he'd shove his cock deeper into your mouth.

"Fuck get up, lay down on the couch and spread your legs."

You do as you are told. Joel stays standing in front of you. Fist full of his cock stroking it. Your pupils wide, as you take the sight of this in. He was beautiful. Completely naked in front of you. His tan body toned from years of contracting, his salt n pepper curls now a mess.

"Go on.. show me.." Joel grunts.

You spread wide, your fingers trail up and down, rubbing all the sensitive spots, you take two fingers and apply all the pressure to your clit, your body shakes as you do. It does feel good but it wasn't like Joel.

"Yeah that's it.. is that how you did it earlier.. did you moan my name in your bedroom. Your dad in earshot.."

"Yes.. ah yes I did.."

"Do it again.." he demanded.

Joel follows your pace, you feel your climax building but you wanted to touch Joel, you needed to touch him. You insert two fingers in feeling how he stretched you out earlier just from his fingers. Your core is hot, you feel it coming.

"Joel- Joel - I need you.. need to touch."

Joel moves to you, you reach up wrapping your hand around his cock taking over stroking him as you play with yourself.

"Fuck ... fuckk.. keeping doin that darlin."

The touch of him is what you needed your body was like a woman possessed with how hard that orgasm hit you. You lay limp still stroking Joel. He's gotten so hard, you can feel his pulse , every twitch with every stroke.

"Open your mouth."

Joel moves your hand taking over as you open for him. He gives two hard pumps as he spills all over your tongue, his cum dripping down your lips down your chin.

"You gonna swallow for me?"

You nod your head. Swallowing it all. Joel collapses on to the couch next to you. Silence for a moment, but not a bad silence. More of taking in the events that just happened. His hands grip your thigh as you look at him.

buzz * buzz * buzz

Your phone ringing.

The clock lights up it's 4:45 in the morning and Tommy is calling you.

Joel's gaze hardens, his grip tenses. You stare at the phone letting it ring. It's like you were on a different planet and now you're back to reality.

"Um I should go home.." you stand up getting off the couch naked you walk to the bathroom to grab your dress. Joel follows.

"You know you can just sleep here.. we gotta be at the venue early would just make sense.." Joel stands in the doorway of the bathroom. "You're actin weird again.."

You stare at yourself in the mirror. How fucked he had you. How much of a mess.

"If I stay here.. I'm sleeping in your bed.. you think you could handle that.. is that crossing a line we shouldn't.."

Your fingers trace down his bare chest. Soft groan leaves Joel's mouth. "Didn't think so.. so I'm going home.. I can walk it's just a few blocks.. could use the air."

You slip back on the sweats and flannel saying fuck the dress.

"I'll get these back to you.. see you later? Unless you still want to switch and be with Sheila.?" You smirk at him.

"Yeah I'll see ya. Can you at least tell me when you made it home... I wish you'd let me just drive ya s'not a problem."

"I'm fine Joel. I need to clear my head okay.. I can take care of me."

He closes the space between the two of you. His hand cupping your face as you melt into his touch.

"Promise me you don't regret this.. whatever this was.." he looks at you. Conflicted expression.

"I don't, no regrets at all. Go to bed old man."

He leans in to kiss you, it was sweet, but there was also a smidge of desperation behind it.

•

You leave Joel's, the sky in that in between of night and dawn. The air has a chill, and it's what you needed.

*buzz buzz*

Your phone vibrates as your screen lights up with both the names of Joel and Tommy miller...

"Fuck what am I doin." You mumble.

You reach your house. It's still quiet. No one is up yet but your dad would be soon. The back door was open so you went in that way. You knew you needed to sleep but you couldn't. Your body high on the orgasms Joel gave you, your mind in a billion different directions with conflicting feelings.

You decided to take a shower, wash off the negativity. You peel off Joel's clothes sliding into the warm water. Little bruises on your body are starting to show, your thighs are marked. A slight pink one on your shoulder. That one would need covered. In a way you loved them. It was a reminder that he was there. You do a quick wash, as you get out of the shower your phone buzz's again.. this time dolly..

"Fucckkkkk"

* darlin I am sorry about Sheila.. she was out of line but so were you. I don't want to have to deal with drama on my wedding day so I'd appreciate that if you do switch with her.. it's easier.

You throw your phone down on to the counter. Normally this would be just whatever. You'd just go be with Tommy.. but you can't. You can't shake proving a point. You screenshot the text sending it to Joel. Replying to his other text asking if you made it home.

He replies

Joel miller • not happenin. You are on my arms all night. Gotta keep you away from my brother.

You • stop it. But you are right. Not happenin. Need my savior in case I need Savin. Maybe fuck me in the church bathroom.

Joel • filthy. Go to sleep. Need to be pretty for me later.

You were feeling bold so you sent a picture, your body wet, the bruises visible.

Joel • Jesus.

You go to check your other texts

Tommy miller • sweet girl hope you made it home safe.. had a great night with you. Save me a dance tomorrow?

You • hey! Yes it was fun. I came home and passed out. And of course.!

Tommy : Sheila texted me. Says you are with me now?

You • yeah dolly said somethin.. but no I'm not letting her have her way.. nothing against you Tommy.. you've got me to Dance with all night. <3

Buzz

Joel: if I marked up your body like that can you imagine what I'll do to that pretty tight little cunt.

You shriek at the thought.

You • filthy. Go to bed. Or maybe come show me then.. sure my dad wouldn't mind you coming over at dawn.

Joel • yeah hearin his daughter scream his best friend's name.. this is a conversation for later. Get some sleep.

You crawl into bed setting an alarm.

Sleep came somewhat easy until..

*

"It's okay to want both of us." Joel looks at you as he sets you down on his cock taking it all in as Tommy comes in front of you, rubbing his cock on your lips...

*

"What the actual fuck."

•

You slept for maybe 2 hours. You had a time schedule today and you didn't wanna give dolly another reason to be pissed at you.

You had to meet the wedding party at the venue for the reception first. That's where everyone was getting ready. Before you left you put some foundation and powder on that little red mark that now has a purple tint to it. You threw a bag together with the things you would need for the day.

Buzz buzz

You glance down your phone going crazy.

Sister - 3 texts

Tommy - 2 texts

Dolly - 4 texts

You ignore all their names searching for his.. and nothing..

you made your way downstairs, you dad sitting in his recliner.

"Hey babydoll, what time did ya make it back.?"

Shit you thought.

"It was late.. um.. you talk to dolly.. ?"

Your dad walks over to you hugging you.

"Yeah baby doll, just let it go.. do what she needs you to do.."

You look at him, stone expression.

"No.. no dad I won't.. why the hell did you think I left here in the first place.. I'm not a fucking child."

He looks at you. Hurt.

"Not what I meant... wait.. is that Joel's flannel.?"

Fuckkkkkkkkk

"Ah yeah, it was late I was upset... he let me vent to him for a few.. I passed out and walked home."

(It wasn't a complete lie)

"Okay just figured you were with Tommy. You two seemed pretty chummy. But good glad Joel took care of ya."

"Yup took great care of me... okay dad see ya later love ya."

"Love ya too kid."

Your phone rings it's Tommy.

"Sweet girl I'm here to pick you up, Joel said He'd just meet us there.. had to get Sarah."

This kind of annoyed you. He promised he would be here. He made you promise that you didn't regret last night.. but what if he does. Is that why he didn't pick you up.

You walk outside, Tommy standing there his long dark hair pulled back, his tan skin glows in the sunlight. His freckles more noticeable. His wife beater clings on to him, covered by a button down. Tight jeans l, his big ass belt buckle and boots.

"Well you clean up nice."

You smile at him, going in for a hug.

"Nice flannel." Tommy pulls back looking at you.

"Uh yeah not mine... went back to Joel's for a bit.. I needed to vent.. um."

Tommy's expression went from happy to a little confused . "It's fine sweetheart, glad you got to get things off your chest.. Joel can be a good listener when he wants to be." He chuckles.

"Okay.. yeah let's forget about all that.. new day.. "

Tommy opens your door helping you in. The miller boys knew how woman deserved to be treated.

The space filled with the hum of the truck and background of the radio.

"Sooo.. have you thought about it.. about going on a date.. I dont wanna over step I know you have alot.. doesn't even have to be a date.. we can just hang out.. I don't know I just feel lighter with you."

Tommy puts his hand on your sensitive thigh, not thinking a moan slips from your mouth.

Tommy's head cocks in curiosity of the little sound you just let out. You didn't know if it was the sensitivity of the marks from Joel or maybe it was the touch of Tommy. He licks his lips staring at you. His grip tightens and you do it again.

"Well that's a sweet little sound." The husky southern drawl in full effect.

You're head spinning because Joel said the same exact thing. This was cut short as you parked into the Venues lot. You couldn't breathe you needed out. Your door swings open fully expecting Tommy to be the one who opened it.. but it was Joel.

•

Your eyes wide like you have seen a ghost. He examined your body language staring into your soul he reaches out his hand pulling you out.

"Hey." Voice thick sweet as honey.

He looks at you again pulling you into a hug his lips linger above your ear. "Ballsy move wearing that.." the flannel falls off your shoulder exposing the little spot covered in foundation not quite your skin tone. Discreetly Joel runs his thumb across it.

"Hi" you finally reply. Looking behind him Tommy watching you.

You were totally fucked.

•

All three of you walk in together, Sheila's head snaps your way seeing you with both brothers . whispering something to one of the other girls. (She's such a slut.) they giggle.

"Can you behave today.?" Joel looks at you, the statement was innocent but the look in his eyes wasn't.

"Nope." You crack a wide smile.

You leave the two men walking back to where the "dressing room" was. You set yourself up in a little corner, not really wanting to be bothered. You do your make up, you opt to curl your long hair in hopes that would cover the tiny mark.

You slip out of your clothes, stepping in to your dress. You couldn't help but feel the eyes on you. Sheila staring as Dolly makes her way over to you...

"Hey darlin girl.."

"Hey" you gruffly reply.

"I fixed things we are good, Joel came to me himself.."

"Great... just tell your bitch of a friend to start away from me. Or I'll finish what I should have done last night.."

"People are just worried hun.."

"About? I'm fine." You pin your hair back trying to stay busy.

"I'm just saying , don't bite off more you can chew.. and don't.."

"Dolly I'm fine. Last night was just a lot, I have a lot going on. Today is about you. Focus on your beautiful wedding."

You hug her hoping that would get her to leave you alone.

•

An hour till ceremony.

*buzz

•Joel miller - saved ya once again.

•you - I know. Thank you.

•Joel miller - you can make it up to me later.

You sit there wandering mind.

*buzz

Tommy miller - can't help to wonder what other parts of you make you let out that sweet little moan.

You contemplate on what you say.. your mind goes to curiosity of how it would be with Tommy. Then to the fact that they are in the same room with one another texting you these things.

•

Half hour

Now it was time to get the bridesmaids and groomsman together. You walk into the hallway your silk gown clinging to your curves. You spot one.. then you spot the other.. both looking straight at you.

You hug Tommy first, his hands tight around your waist.

"You look beautiful." He gently kisses your cheek. This was nothing he's done it before, but this opened your curiosity even more. How gentle and soft his lips were, how they would feel else where.. That was quickly interrupted, by a big hand grabbing yours pulling you to him. Tight hug. His hands replacing the spot Tommy's were. It's like he posses you. You want to collapse under the smallest touches from him. He smells so good. He's wearing a different cologne, but still mixed with the normal intoxicating scent of him.

He speaks softly into your ear so you are the only one to hear him.

"You do look beautiful.. but I know you will look even more beautiful when I make you cum later."

You gasp.

He pushes your hair back, looking down at your shoulder.

It was like no one was there.

"Well you look nice mr miller, it's a shame you have to be paired with her, we would be the hottest ones in there."

Sheila chuckles as she stands next to you. Tommy quickly moving over as well.

"Wow Sheila thanks are you saying I'm the ugly brother." Tommy chuckles.

"She would be blind if that's what she's implying." You smile at Tommy. This statement making Joel clinch his jaw. "I mean any woman would be lucky to have either one of you.. just not you Sheila.. you deserve a cockroach."

She glares at you rolling her eyes.

The music begins meaning it's time. You stand next to Joel as your hand shake. He reaches down linking his hands with yours.

"Easy darlin. It's alright."

He knows your anxiety how you get in situations like this. "I got you."

He rubs his thumb on your little hand, staring at it.

"Joel."

"Yeah honey.?"

You look at him tears filling your eyes.. you don't know what's came over you.

"I -"

You were cut off by the music to enter the church. You hook his arm, his grip tight, he takes his other hand playing with your fingers.

You look over at him smiling.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what darlin.?"

"Calm me down the way you do, but at the same time drive me crazy.?"

You were the last couple to walk down. Joel seen this as an opportunity that he had you alone just for a moment. He swings you around to face him, his hands run down your body, his hands grip your ass as he presses his lips to yours. Kiss was short as he pulled away when it was your que to walk.

"That did the opposite of calming me..."

Joel chuckles.

•

The church was decorated beautifully, you went to your spot in line of the bridesmaids. In the crowd you spot your dad, your sister, and Sarah. The ceremony was tender and heartfelt. Even as much as you were annoyed with dolly she's your aunt and you are so happy that she gets her happy ending. The music plays to exit and your heart skips a beat. Eager to get back to Joel knowing that tonight's going to be a long one with all the family around. You meet in the middle linking your arm through his.

"That was beautiful."You say.

"You're beautiful... I need to get you alone."

You continue walking, trying to finish this conversation before you can't.

"How... Sarah will ride with you.. my family is here.. Tommy.. I'm overwhelmed Joel."

"I don't know. But I'll make it happen... actually maybe we shouldn't.. maybe just take a break from this.. I don't know.." Joel looks at you confused making you go dead silent.

"Fine then we won't." You look at him tears building.

You make it back to the lobby of the church, everyone mingling before it's time to move to the reception. You stand there with Joel, and Tommy. Walking to you is the group of your sister, your dad and Sarah.

"Hey girlllllll" Sarah smiles as she hugs you.

"Hi love, you look great. How are things!"

"Things are good! I'm living in Dallas now. Going to school, visit here when I can.. you know how my dad is.."

You laugh.. "yeahhhh I do..."

"So England.. how was that.? How's your beautiful man with that charming accent."

"Well considering he's engaged to someone that's not me.." you shrug.

"No way, did you tell dad. Let him handle him.. you seeing anyone.?"

You look over, Joel is listening.

"Um I don't know.. kind of.. it's I don't know what it is.. complicated definitely."

"Ohhhh is it... who who" Sarah squeals.

"Can't tell ya." You wink.

Sarah groans. "Ugh that's no fun. I want to know all the gossip."

Tommy comes over putting his arm around both you and Sarah.

"So what are we talking about?" He looks back and forth between the two of you. Joel still lingering talking to your dad.. well sort of just listening to your dad as he listens to your conversation.

"Nothing we were talking about nothing." You give Sarah the look.

Everyone starts leaving the church. You figured you'd catch a ride with your dad.

"Hey sweetie why don't you ride with Tommy. Told some people I could give them a lift."

"Sure dad." You hug him, as Tommy stands waiting. Like clockwork he opens your door and into the truck you go. Parked across is Joel.. and if looks could kill the truck would have been blown to smithereens. Sarah sits in the passenger seat talking as Joel speeds out.

•

This feels all too familiar. Like Deja vu almost.

"Sooo.." Tommy trails off. You turn to look at him, he's inches away. You could feel his breath. He smells of mint and sandlewood.

"Sooo." You smile. Tommy reaches over his hand on your thigh. You shiver under his touch as he moves his hand slowly till he reaches the fabric of your panties.

"This okay?" His drawl heavy and velvet. Lust filled almost.

You nod staring at him. Really realizing how beautiful he was. How gentle.

He doesn't go in he just runs his fingers across where your covered heat is. You whimper because as much as you hate to admit it and as much as it complicates things even more you do feel something.

"Tommy..." you moan. He gently presses his lips to you, warm soft and welcoming. Something about it was so delicate. Tommy's tongue traces your bottom lip asking to enter your mouth, you let him. His hand wrapping around the back of your neck pulling you in closer as his tongue swirls around yours. The grip on the back of your neck was just enough pressure to make you moan into his mouth.

"Fuck I don't think I'd ever get tired of hearing that."

He goes back into kissing you, deepening with every second your lips were on one another. You run your hands down his Chest, he goes to pull you to him and you pull back knowing if you go to him things will escalate to a point you don't know if you can handle at this moment.. it's not that you didn't want too because you kinda did.

At this point everyone has left the parking lot leaving you there.

"Tommy.. we gotta go.." you let out a deep breath as You sit there not knowing how to feel besides that this is fucked all the way up...

and Joel is going to be furious.

•

You reach the reception hall, you both were the last of the wedding party to arrive. Joel's face in a scowl.

"Where the fuck have you been.?" Joel asks his jaw tight, hands balled into a fist.

"Tommy drove. Dad made me ride with him..."

"I know that.." he looks at you not knowing how to feel. You aren't his. He ain't yours. Hell has your dad's best friend. He's Tommy's brother. Sarah's dad.

"Joel.. don't. I don't know what you want me to say.. what you want me to do... thought you just wanted to forget about it today.."

He looks away dead stare on Tommy.

The music plays.

All the pairs enter one by one. No cute finger playing this time. Just a firm lock on your arm.

Entrances end, everyone welcomes In dolly and Randy. You thank god you can attempt to get some space. You walk outside to the edge of the building. Footsteps coming behind you and arms wrap around your waist spinning you around.

"Hey you promised me a dance." Tommy's big brown eyes glimmer.

"I indeed did Tommy miller." You smile. His button up open. His tie still around his neck. His tank top clinging to him. He looks so good. "Give me a minute okay.. just overstimulated. I'll be in soon." He leaves you with a kiss on the check. You stand there for a few minutes more, watching Tommy walk back in noticing a figure in the distance that could only be Joel.

You turn back around facing the road watching as cars go by.. footsteps approaching.

"What the fuck are you doing. You think this is okay. Maybe Sheila was right."

Wide eyed you look at him.

"Joel.... you.. You don't mean that... it's just.. I don't know.. " He scoffs with a laugh.

"You think I'm stupid darlin. How it must feed your ego to have both of us wrapped around your finger... you leave for years then come back and fuck with my head.. hell even Tommy's head.

You roll your eyes

"Do I Joel.. do I really.. you can't touch me in public.. you whisper to me in secret.. Hell Half the time you avoid me or stand in the distance listening to me. You pull me in and then push me away.. you didn't pick me up this morning which led to me think you avoided me or you were regretting last night. then you come here acting like everything is fine.. then it's oh let's forget it all.. you are scared... you are scared that there is something here. Regardless of how messy and complicated.. And maybe Tommy isn't."

You storm past his shoulder checking him.

You rush to the bathroom, your face flooded with tears.

Knock knock

"Hey it's Sarah.. what's going on. You want to let me in?"

You open up, Sarah sliding in.

"Sarah I-" you just sob.

She takes you in to a hug. Petting your head.

"Sarah I'm so Confused ..."

You look up at her. "And I can't tell you I can't tell anyone."

There is a bang on the door.

"Sarah.. it's dad.. everything okay.?"

You couldn't tell him to go away because that would bring up questions.

"Yeah dad we will be out in a second." Sarah calls out.

"Can you ask her if it's okay if I talk to her.? Maybe I could help." She looks at you waiting for your answer.

"Yeah.. yeah fine." You shrug.

Sarah opens the door slipping out as Joel slips in.

He stands there , inches away waiting until Sarah has hopefully gone away. You look at him and just sob.

"C'mere baby I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. this is hard for me too.. I shouldn't have said those things.. shouldn't push you away."

"Joel.. I have to tell you something and you cannot freak out."

His grip around you tightens.

"I swear Joel. You can't... Tommy kissed me.. that's why we were late.. it was just a kiss and he gripped my thigh and they are sensitive because.." (you leave out a bit of information but it was nothing really.. kind of..)

You pull up the dress, the nail marks, with little purple bruises.

"Then I moaned and I didn't mean too but it just.." you were now rambling.

He looks at you and chuckles.

"Joel how is this funny.. and then you were an ass to me saying let's forget things and I can't I can't forget you.. I can't forget last night.. and I'm just fucking I don't know.. I'm fucking confused."

You pull back to look him in the eyes.

"Do you regret last night.?" His voice stern.

"No."

He kisses down your jaw, down your neck.

"Okay. So you won't mind if I do this."

His hand trails up your thighs digging his nails into those already left marks, you moan but he cuts you off with his lips to yours his tongue sliding in invading you.

He pulls away to look at you.

"Did Tommy do it like that.?" He whispers.

Your mouth drops.

"Joel.. don't.."

"Darlin you're mine.. do what you need to do but just know that."

"Joel you can't just say shit like that.." you bark at him.

He opens up the bathroom door walking out not answering you.. You wait a moment and you do the same.

•

The reception was lively. Everyone dancing. You dance mainly with Sarah and Tommy. Just having fun, goofing around like old times. Every now and then Tommy brushes your hand, and in those moments you swear you watch Joel clinch his jaw as he sits with your dad watching. The music switches to a slow song, Sarah gets taken by one of the groomsman,and Tommy stares at you.

"I guess I should keep my promise." You walk towards him , as he pulls you in. Wrapping his arms around your waist, your arms around his neck.

Tommy is warm. Warm like the sun.

His linger above your ear, you sway to the music comfortably.

"This is a change from the other night." You laugh.

"Yeah, good change though. Not sayin havin your body on me in that way wasn't.. this is just.. this is nice.. It's comforting."

You look up at him, his big brown eyes staring like you are the prettiest thing he has ever seen. You push a strand of his dark hair out of his face.

"You are comforting Tommy.. like a light in the darkness of my mind."

He goes to kiss your forehead, when a hand touches his shoulder.

"Little brother.. you mind if I cut in.?" Tommy lets go as Joel takes over.

"She's all yours." Tommy walks away, looking back as Joel grips on your waist.

Your body in shock. As you feel all the eyes in the room on you.

"Ballsy move Mr miller." You nuzzle your head into his shoulder. Maybe a little more comfortable than you should be.

"You said I didn't touch you in public and I was scared.. this is me proving somethin. You've consumed my every thought today. All I have wanted is to touch you in every way. That's why I watch you. Why I listen." you look up at him.. Joel shows his emotions in his eyes, you can tell he really means it.

"You are gonna start lots of rumors..." you smile.

"Not rumors if there is truth behind some of it.."

you notice Tommy in the corner talking to one of the other bridesmaids, everyone seems pre occupied, giving you a moment to do something that's been on your mind all day. You cup his face exactly how you did in the truck, him melting under your touch, you trailed your hand down his body to the top of his belt, you inch your hand to go lower when he grabs your wrist.

he looks down at you, his brown eyes now black.

"Meet me outside.. behind my truck.. 5 minutes."

The song ends you both walk towards the tables. Joel leaves you walking outside. You linger by the door hoping you can sneak out. You wait a few minutes and you bolt outside. Joel's truck is parked in the far side of the lot close to the woods. You walk down looking for him, not seeing him you walk to the opening of the woods when he peeks out from a tree pulling you into the woods.

You let out a shriek followed by his hand over your mouth.

"Quiet."Joel slips his hand under your dress.

"I just want to feel you. How soft, how wet, how warm."

You moan under his hand that's covering your mouth.

Your breath picks up as Joel dips two fingers in. You can't speak all you can do is moan against his hand which unironically is only stifling your moans a bit.

He doesn't take his time with you. It's too risky, he's too full of need. He inserts two fingers in pumping furiously into your wetness. Each pump you tighten on his fingers. Your on body fire. Your legs shaking e it didn't take long for him to know the exact spots on your body that drive you crazy.

"Joel.. Joel.." you manage to speak under his hand.

"Quiet baby"

Joel moved his hand as he does he hooks his fingers making you squeal which was cut off by his lips. For a moment it felt like everything froze and all that mattered was Joel kissing you. Long and hard, so much passion. There was no inviting one another in, his tongue owned yours, his teeth grazing over your bottom lip. It was like he was trying to prove something. Something to you. Something to himself. As much as you were enjoying his fingers this was 10000 better and that's how you knew you were truly fucked. You both pull away Joel moving his hands to hold your face staring at you. it's like a light bulb goes off.

"So what are we gonna do about this?" You ask out of breath. Joel's hands roam your body memorizing every inch of how you feel.

"What do you want." Joel lays sweet kisses on your shoulder.

"You. I want you."

Then we figure it out." Joel kisses your forehead.

You both freeze as footsteps approach quickly putting space between. You hide behind a tree as Joel walks back to the edge of the lot to see who was there. You stay there hidden. You listen in the distance when you hear that sweet silky voice.. Tommy.

•

"Hey big brother, have you seen her? Figured maybe she needed air."

You can't see too much through the trees but you can see just enough to see Joel's whole body tense up. You hated this. You hated that they were brothers. But maybe that's why you liked them so much in a twisted way the things the one didn't have the other one did.

"I haven't seen her, just came out for a smoke."

Joel put his hands on his hips,

The dad pose he does.

"Okay well if you do, just let her know I was looking for her."

"Sure sure.."

Joel walks away. Tommy lights up a cigarette. You lean on the tree debating if there was another way out of these woods. You watch for a bit, watching Tommy's body language, the way he stands, the way his puffs on the cigarette. Your mind wanders back to the conversation you just had with Joel, now these contradicting feelings for Tommy. He walks towards his truck, you inch towards the lot maybe gonna try to sneak out. You make it to the end and there he stands.

(Fuck that's not weird at all.)

"Hey" you smile.

"Hi sweetheart, where have you been.?"

(Shit think of a lie.)

"Um so I thought I seen a raccoon, and I love those guys, I haven't seen one since I been back home they don't have them in England.."

Tommy chuckles.

"Should have told me, I would have gotten it."

"No you would have shot it , Mr sniper man."

"Hey I could have made you one of those hats with the tail. You'd be pretty cute In that."

You laugh. Like really laugh. Something that hasn't happened in a while. Tommy grabs your hand swinging back and forth like teenagers.

"Should probably go back in.." you look at him.

"Yeah we probably should..." he trails off as he pulls you to him.

"Tommy... I.. I'm sorry I'm just overwhelmed.." you back away, his eyes fill with sadness.

"It's fine, I shouldn't come on so strong.."

"No you're fine it's me. I'm just a mess. You are great and sweet and fucking beautiful. I just need to figure my shit out."

"I understand that sweet girl I'm here for you no matter what. You think I'm beautiful?" He does that cheeky smirk.

You look into his pretty brown eyes, and you can't help but smile. It's like your body owns your mind you go in to hug Tommy again, he brings you in and just holds you there. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his tight grip on your waist. You lay your head on his shoulder.

"You are literally sunshine in human form."you whisper in his ear. You look up to see that grin.

Tommy lets you go.

"If I didn't move I was going to kiss you.. and I don't want to overwhelm you even more than you already are.. but just know that. "

You turn walking back into the building. Everyone is still dancing, Joel is back in the corner with your dad talking to some of the others. He's back to watching you, as soon as you entered it's like his body knew. Your body the same way it's like he has a spell on you. A few feet near him and you are done for.

"Hey there you are." Sarah runs over. "Where have you been, everyone's been asking.. Tommy especially what's going on there? Would be kinda weird he's my uncle but I mean.. why not yall would be cute.. and he's a good man.. "she shrugs with a smile

"Nothing, nothing is going on.. he just cares about me, the other night we talked about life... uhhh yeah.. okay... I think I need to go home.. um im gonna call a uber or somethin."

You run to the back grabbing your things. You throw everything into a bag and bolt out the door. You didn't know how but you needed to be anywhere but here. You decided to walk down the road a bit to the gas station.

You : where are you.

Joel miller : sitting here talking to your dad and Tommy. He seems chipper. Anything I need to know. Won't be mad. Where are you.? Haven't seen you in a bit.

You : I left.

Joel miller : where. I'm on my way.

•

You go into the gas station, buying whatever cheap liquor they have. You sit on the curb enjoying being alone just watching people come and go. 20 minutes since Joel's last text. About half the bottle gone now. You scroll through your phone. Ignoring all the incoming calls and texts.

Sarah miller : be safe. If you need to vent just tell me. I'm worried about you. Xoxo

Dad : hey baby girl you alright?

Tommy miller : 🦝

That made you laugh, and then when you looked up your heart felt like it was going explode.

Joel's truck in front of you, he parks it as he gets out.

"You came."

Joel picks you up off the curb. "You needed me. I'm here."

You both were done fighting your feelings, you were done being careful. (For tonight at least.) He pulls you in, hands on your face as his lips consume yours. You moan into his mouth, as his hands travel all over your body.

"Joel-". You manage to say between kisses.

"Take me somewhere, anywhere."

He stops long enough to put you In the truck closing your door. He drives for a bit, down some backroads until he reaches a field he pulls in to. It's dark but you can tell there are wildflowers everywhere, and the lightning bugs are out. He reaches In the back seat grabbing a few blankets he keeps in case of emergencies.

"Come on." He motions. You follow him as he lets down the gate to the bed of the truck. He throws the blankets in there before he helps you up.

You crawl in, Joel squeezing beside you.

"C'mere." He opens his arms

You nuzzle yourself into Joel. You finally let out a breath that you feel like you have been holding in all day.

"I've needed this all day." You say as you curl your self more into Joel.

Joel plays with your hair, letting out a deep breath himself. "I've needed you all day."

You look up at him, no words could say what either one of you were thinking. He leans down pressing his lips to yours. At first it was safe, it was a peck until he realized that you were alone. Completely alone. No one out here for miles. He pulled back just to look at you before he dove right back in. The hunger taking over. Messy kisses, kisses that felt like if you didn't do this now you would never have the chance again. He's taken over your mouth, his tongue all over his teeth graze your bottom lip gently nibbling and sucking on it, you let out a moan you swear people could hear from miles away. He doesn't tell you to be quiet he doesn't put his hand on your mouth he just makes his way kissing down your jaw to your neck. Your breath trembles as you feel his hand slip under your dress, rubbing all the way up your thigh.

You unbuckle his belt, then his pants. You kinda thought he would stop you.. but he didn't instead he pulls off his teeshirt he changed into before he came to get you. His lips find his way back to yours as he unzips your dress, you pull down his jeans his underwear with it. His hands kneed your breasts and he opens your legs getting Between, he hooks his fingers pulling your panties off, you lay naked under him. His hand cups your face as he lines himself up with your entrance.

"You sure bout this." Joel looks you in the eyes, your hips buck impatiently.

"Does it feel like I'm sure, because to me one I've never been wetter and two I have never wanted anyone as bad as I -" Joel cuts you off by one hard thrust into you, followed by 3 more getting your body adjusted to him.

"Fuck Joel, god feels so-"

Joel starts a rhythm, hard, deep , but steady. He wraps his hand around the back of you neck and he leans down, his body pressed on yours, you wrap your legs around pulling him in more making his thrusts hit your cervix, this makes your tighten your legs around him even harder.

"Yes that's it baby, I feel you clinchin on me.. good girl taking it so well."

Joel tangles his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck pulling your head back, each thrust feels like you could levitate.

"Talk to me baby.. feel good?" Joel grunts as he holds your waist as he thrust in and out, in and out. You stare up eyes glisten high on lust.

"Harder." You choke out.

He pauses for a moment, looking down his thumb traces your bottom lip. Joel's eyes darken. Thunder rumbles, lightning fills the sky. Joel's grip on your waits tightens as he thrusts again one slow deep one before he switches completely. He holds you as he slams in over and over. You are taking every single inch of him. Thunder rumbles again followed by pounding rain. Joel doesn't stop if anything he fucks you harder as the rain comes down.

"Fuck yeah give it to me Joel." You cup his face , just have you done making him melt, making him lose control. You can't think it's just slam after slam inside you.

You stare into his eyes taking it all in. Then it hits you, that fire in your core, clinching tightly on him.

"You gonna cum f'me, did daddy fuck you hard enough."

You loved the filthy side of him, it took you to another level.

He thrusts in and out a few more times

"Mhmm yes.. don't stop... please don't- fuck Joel yes I'm coming.."

Rain is pouring all around you. Joel fucks you through your climax.

"We should get going." Joel sighs, truck bed wet, the blankets soaked, and you both look like you went swimming.

"No" you push Joel to lay down, you move yourself on top of him. Legs on each side straddling His cock still hard. You move your hips up just enough to line him up with you before fall back taking in all of him.

"Holy fuck" Joel curses.

You bounce your hips up and down, steady rhythm taking in all of him with each bounce. Your wet bodies slamming into one another, your wet long hair dripping. The rain comes down harder as Joel sits up wrapping his arms around you as you ride him. You lean back giving that arch to hit deeper.

"Fuckin pretty riding my cock. Clinching down on me already."

Joel lets out a growl as you pick up your pace.

"You gonna cum for me baby." You ask.

Something about that made Joel's demeanor switch. From dominating, to submitting to you.

You sink your hips up and down up and down, his grip tightens on your waist.

"Fuck yes baby ride my cock, just like that. I'm gonna fill you up"

You feel Joel's cock twitch inside of you, followed by his hot cum spilling inside. The rain still pouring, lightning strikes again.

You both hop out of the truck bed, attempting to find your now soaked clothes.

•

Joel cranks the heat in the truck attempting to get dry. His hands stay on some part of you. Your phone keeps buzzing but you just ignore it.

"Is Sarah staying home tonight?"

You look over at Joel.

"Yeah I think so, you want me to drop you home?"

"I left my dress there the other night.. should probably get it before someone sees it and asks questions.."

"Yeah we can go get it, I'll get you dry clothes too. If anything you can stay for a bit. Sure Sarah would like to spend time with you."

You look down getting anxious.

"Yeah I just I just don't know right now... Joel.."

"Yeah baby?"

"We definitely crossed a line.. something we can't take back.. something we can't go back from."

"I know.." he squeezed your thigh, not in a sexual way but in a way that told you that's it's okay.

•

You reach Joel's house, your soaked dress clinging to you. Giggling as you walk in until you freeze. Tommy and Sarah sit on the couch as your dress sits on the table. You all stare at one another waiting for someone to say something.

"So what's going on. Yall okay!?" Tommy asks.

You stand frozen. How are you here. How 20 minutes ago it was Joel just Joel. But now seeing Tommy it's all fuzzy. You look back and forth shaking.

"Got caught in the storm.. hit a back road, got stuck, she left her dress, came to get it before I take her home."

Joel chimes in. Always saving you.

You notice Tommy's body language. How he's quiet.

"Yeah I left it here the other night." You grab the dress off the table, your hands still trembling. "Um I should go..." you motion to the door.

"No stay, I can get you clothes. Come with me." Sarah gets up heading for the stairs and you follow. You make it up to her room and she shuts and locks the door.

"So what's actually going on, and please don't lie to me."

Tag list : @ohhoneypascal @mani-pedro @megangovier @littledes1re @shaunasrabbit @glitterspark @umadirectioner @darknight3904 @thoughtfullypinkgiver @iknowisoundcrazy @gardeniaviolets

[dolene]

I AM A WHAT? ; fernando alonso x wife!reader

summary: after taylor swift's song was out, people couldn't help but link him to taylor—while he didn't know anything about the current news.

note: sorry if this is so messy, it was a brainrot 🤭 and anyway happy ttpd day for those who celebrate!

the circulating news about his unreal relationship with the international singer taylor swift is no longer in doubt. there are many people who support them, shipping them, and even created a fan account dedicated to the two of them—who are not related or know each other at all.

“heh, yeah i'm aware of it.” he snort when the interviewer asked him about the swirling news. “but either way, i know that it wouldn't be possible.” he continues, simply shrugging with his wide smile still decorating his face when he saw the interviewer's eyebrows knit.

“oh? why is that?” he finally asked which fernando answered shortly, “i've had my wife, you remember?” and the interviewer chuckled, “no but really, if you hadn't marries her yet, would you choose her?” he said, making fernando goes silent for a quick moment.

“ah, probably.” he said eventually, “if i were still as young as her... and as tall. it would be okay.” the both of them laughed at his answer, leaving the interviewer with his tons of asks to continue the interview and leaving the taylor topic alone.

A YEAR LATER...

being chronically online in social media gave him a lot of benefits to offer. from not missing up with the latest news and trends makes him quite popular in his daily social media life as a trendy man on tiktok. but that also doesn't rule out the possibility that sometimes he is still left behind with other news that is not included in his list of interests. whether it's because he's not interested and allows himself to be left out of it, or he doesn't know about it all.

and having a wife who is also a journalist gives him many benefits, and one of them is not missing in any trending news that he doesn't even know it exists;

“ooh, i see that you were trending on twitter today.” you said as you walked to the counter to take a glass of juice from the mini refrigerator.

“twitter?” he asked from the bathroom, his voice echoed, and your uh-huh answers his question. “i haven't checked my twitter in a day or two now,” he said as he continued to brush his teeth, “so i don't know what am i even missed so i could be on the trending topic.”

“d'you want me to check it out for you?”

“mhm, sure.”

you immediately opened your twitter again after hearing his approval, searched for his name in the search column and finally found the topic you were looking for. lots of it. a lot of them were tweets about him and taylor swift with her new album.

you were silent for a moment, as you were getting too preoccupied with seeing what people were talking about about your husband and taylor swift, that you forgot about fernando who had been waiting for your response in the bathroom.

“so what is that all about?” he questioned, after he's finally came out of the bathroom, immediately standing next to you to peek at your phone. “apparently it's your gossip with miss swift.” he let out a loud laugh and stood up from his previous position as he walked towards his suitcase to look for a clean clothes for him to wear.

usually you are quite updated with the latest news, especially about taylor swift because you are a swiftie. but strangely enough, you don't know about this either.

“i haven't heard about the lastest album.” you said, and fernando hummed. “so you didn't know about the news, then?” he asked, and you answered, “no, i don't.” okay he said as a respond.

but after some time of scrolling through your twitter page, you finally find out what they mean about it. and you can't even deny it, you were also late in digesting the information.

MEANWHILE TWITTER...

“ooohhh, so you are taylor's car.” your face was still focused on your phone screen when fernando looked at you with a confused face. “i'm her what?”

“her car. and look, your relationship gossip with taylor is up again.” you giggled but didn't told him about the detailed things that you've been said to him earlier, making him keeping the confused face on his face longer.

“cariño, ¿de qué hablas?” he shakes his head, finally letting his desperation wins over the the lack of clarity in the information you gave him. you smiled, approaching him who was sitting on the bed, his mouth pouted with his lower lips is pushed forward—just like a 10 year old child whose parents weren't allowed to play.

“okay so, on her newest album, taylor wrote in the lyrics ‘i'm an aston martin’ and maybe that's why the public started to brings the taylor rumors again.” you said, and he nodded. “then you are her car, right?” and he finally get rid of the pout that he has on earlier as he slowly laughed. a breathy one, before he finally stops in a current slow motion.

“but that still doesn't answer your lack of clarity earlier!” he insists, but his face is still smiling from his laugh earlier, his eyes looking at you. “i already explained it to you!” you chuckled and his eyes lit up as you looked back at him.

there was a silence filling up the room for a moment after you said that, until he finally broke it; “you know, even if someday i could be with taylor, i wouldn't be with her.”

“really? and why is that?”

“because i could only be your aston martin.”

“oh my—” and before you could even rolled your eyes or completing your sentence, he had already pulled you in for a kiss first. luckily he's your husband.

taglist: @seasonswinter @haikyuen @callsignwidow

translation: cariño, ¿de qué hablas? = baby, what are you talking about?

[nikkisheep]

To Be Alone With You (Part Eight: Anthony's Part)

Anthony Bridgerton x Sharma!sister!reader

Warnings: small Angst, fluff, engagement, Edwina forgives reader, Violet being the best mother ever at helping her child, Reader getting Queen Charlotte's approval, reader struggles with her feelings for Anthony and wanting to give him up, Anthony is struggling with Benedict not speaking to him despite forgiving him.

A/N: This is Part 1 of Anthony's ending with the reader. The next part will be his wedding. After Anthony's wedding, it will Benedict's Part 1 of his ending. Once Benedict Part 1 is complete, his wedding will follow after.

A/N (2): I am so sorry that it took so long. I have been busy and just struggling with writers block so I hope this is a good read and I do apologize for taking so long.

Songs:

Wildest Dreams: Taylor Swift

Do I Wanna Know: Hozier Cover (highly recommend listening to with this)

Sweet Creature: Harry Styles (kinda)

Daylight: David Kushner

Summary: Edwina announces at Lady Danbury's ball that she is not marrying Anthony. The ton is shocked, but Anthony announces that he is still to be married. And the entire ton looks around, which of the lucky ladies will be the new viscountess?

Tag List: @shealuna , @m-rae23 , @littlepeanut03 , @aellabridgerton @sydney-m, @faatxma , @wildthoughtnananna @uraesthete, @themadhattersqueen, @theroyalmanatee, @urfavnoirette, @budugu, @helen06dreamer, @galactict3a, @imagineme2you. @sabii5, @anehkael, @aesthetic0cherryblossom, @lxovesgy, @lemonwithstupidity, @luvwithau, @stvrdustalexx, @jess4rush, @tallrock35, @msrawog , @diduzzula , @myheartfollower , @yunho-leeknow , @jeysbae, @delusional-4-fake-people, @kiddeecat , @lucistarrrrs, @marvelouslyme96 , @weshhhhhhhhhhhhh, @lafrone , @marvelouslyme96 , @jackierose902109 , @ephemeral-oasis , @turtle-cant-communicate , @fallout-girl219 , @strnqer , @torisunflower

The following morning was one that crept upon someone very slowly. It was raining and the entire world fell silent as you laid in bed, having Edwina curled beside you as you stroked her hair. After the storm last night, she was left frightened. Right before she fell asleep, she whispered her forgiveness to you. That small phrase left you awake all night as the actions that you and Anthony had committed replayed in your mind as you knew that you could never forgive yourself as Edwina had done to you.

Getting out of bed, you go about your usual day excluding the fact that your sisters did not seem to be as excited to start the day. Kate mumbled about wanting to sleep all day, but you dragged her out of bed so her wild curls could be brushed.

Edwina was rather difficult to get out of bed as she too turned over in her bed when you opened the curtains to allow the little bit of sun that peaked through the rain, into the room. You made mention that Lady Whistledown had written an article about Lady Danbury's ball and how she expects us to attend.

"Do we really have to go?" Kate asked. At this point, she was tired of dancing with uninteresting men.

"Yes, we must," Edwina says. "I have a new dress that I want to take out for a spin."

"Ah yes, it must be nice having the Bridgerton money!" You laughed.

Your two sisters turned their heads sharply to face you, Kate having a scowl written on her features.

"Sorry, I suppose it is still rather early to make jokes."

At your words, Edwina laughs with her entire body. She laughs so hard that tears form in her waterline.

"Oh my, sister!" She laughed. "You are quite funny!"

You look at Kate confused, hoping that your older sister would say something but she shrugged before walking out the door.

----

Anthony was in distraught. He knew that he needed to make amends with Edwina before ending the engagement. He felt horrible but he knew that he had no one else to blame but himself. He knew that he was completely to blame, but he also felt relieved as this journey had lead him on a path of self-discovery and it made him feel slightly better because now he knows that he is ready to have a marriage with love at the center, he just wished that it didn't have to be at the expense of two sisters.

With Benedict not speaking to him, Anthony was quite at his wits end. The only way that they could communicate is through Colin and he grumbled every time one of the older brothers demanded him to give the other a message.

"Brother, has it occurred to you that perhaps this is your own doing?" Colin asked as he grumbled about another message.

"Well, no Colin, that thought hasn't crossed my mind but only a billion times already," Anthony said, pouring the two a drink. "I have tried apologizing and though he has said that he forgives me, he will not speak to me directly."

Colin takes a swig of his drink and then looks to Anthony again. "Brother, you had sex with a lady and then he too had intimate relations with the same woman," He says. "Not to forget that you then carried the affair even after you knew that the two had shared a bed."

"Couch." Anthony corrects, causing Colin to groan and roll his eyes.

"See brother, it is this very attitude that keeps the two of you apart. Now if Benedict said to make things right with the two Sharma sisters, then by all means please do but do not be angry with Benedict for being hurt."

After Colin left the office, Anthony was left with only his thoughts and the uncomfortable lump in his throat as he thought about what he will do next.

---

Violet Bridgerton was sitting in the drawing room embroidering a pillow for Eloise when Anthony walked in, stress evident on his face. She looked up at her son and then placed the pillow onto the couch beside her. Standing up, she smooths her dress and then walks over to her son and places her hand on his cheek. 

“My sweet beautiful boy, what plagues your mind so hauntedly that you look as though you have not slept in three days?’’ She asks softly and at her words, Anthony’s entire resolve crumbles. 

Violet lets out a soft gasp of surprise as Anthony’s frame sinks against her and she holds her child in her arms as Anthony’s arms wrap around his mother to feel her comfort as his entire body shakes with tears streaming down his face. He wanted to be strong and hold himself together, but the overwhelming fear of being a disappointment for his mother overcame him and he cried in her arms for a few minutes. 

“It’s okay, my dear, just breathe,” She coos gently, helping Anthony calm down. “Tell me what is bothering you.” 

Anthony looks at his mother and tells her everything that has been happening between him and Miss Sharma. He explains the issue with the engagement and how he is not happy because the one woman that he loves is the sister of his betrothed. Violet listens to all of this before stopping him when he mentions Edmund. 

“My dear, it would pain your father to know that you are refusing the love of a woman because you simply proposed to the wrong woman,” She says. “Now I will say this only as your mother because it pains me to see you so distraught. I did not raise you to behave this way, but everyone makes mistakes and though yours is a messy mistake, there is a way for you to make it right.”

“How? Please tell me because I can not for the life of me find the solution, I feel as though my heart controls my mind and my mind has no control over anything.”

“Marry the sister whom you love.” She says before patting his cheek. “Listen to your heart and do what it tells you, it will lead you down the right path.”

---

Dresses twirl with every glide that a lady takes, a gentleman’s shoes thud against the floor with every step. The ladies and gentlemen of the ton were all collected at Lady Danbury’s ball and one might say that it was the best of the season yet. There were flowers and vibrant colors everywhere. It seemed as though the lights were made of diamonds and the ladies under them were made of the most precious jewels. 

Walking in with Edwina and Kate by your side, you scan the room to find the beverage table because you could already feel the tightening in your throat when you see Benedict Bridgerton dancing with another woman. You hope that he doesn’t see you, but he already has and is saying goodbye to the lady he was dancing with. 

“I think I will go get us some lemonade,” You tell your sisters before practically running away. 

Grabbing a drink, you make a beeline for the furthest corner in the room and try to hide from the Bridgerton. Sadly, he found you.

"Miss Sharma," He says. "Your gown is lovely."

"Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton." You say with a smile.

"I want you to know that I am giving you permission to marry Anthony," He says and you look at him dumbfounded. "I know it is him who you love and desire so I will not stand in yours or his way of happiness."

"Benedict-"

"Please let me explain," He says quickly. "Over the years after our father's death, I have watched Anthony become a shell of the man that once was my brother. He became the man of the house and I have never seen him truly happy since. After finding out that he had been with you, I was angry but when I heard him speak about you, I knew that I was delaying my brother from getting the life he deserves."

"Benedict, I-"

"I'm sorry, but I need to finish this." Benedict says before clearing his throat. "I may have fallen in love with you, Miss Sharma, but you do not love me the same. I may act like a heathen, but my mother did raise me to treat women with respect so I will never expect you to pretend to feel something you do not. If you do not end up at the alter with my brother, any man who gets to be opposite of you should be a man who treats you as you deserve, and I am disappointed that I can not be that man but you deserve a man who you love. I want to thank you for your appearance in my life and I also want to thank you for making my brother start to become the man that I once remembered him to be."

You go to speak before he bows his head to you and then walks away. You stand there appalled as tears threaten to fill your eyes and you have to blink them away. Suddenly the air in the room becomes too thick, the sounds of laughter from the guests become too much so you make your escape out the side door and Edwina catches sight of you while she dances with the son of an earl.

As you are rounding a corner, you collide with a strong body and slightly stumble back before the man's hand steadiest you. Despite the gloves, you recognized the owner of the hands before looking up into those brown eyes that you began to call home before your world collapsed.

"Lord Bridgerton," You bow and wait for him to speak.

"Miss Sharma, are you all right?" He asks. "I had not seen you there when I walked around the corner."

It had been a few weeks since you had seen Anthony and he had a bit of stubble that he hadn't shaved that morning. You felt your heart clench at the reminder that he was not yours. This was the last ball before his wedding to your sister and you were beginning to dread it all together.

"It was my own fault, my Lord," You say with a nervous smile.

"Would you care to share a dance?"

"I would love to."

---

His arms wrap gently around your frame, holding you close to his strong body. His face is inches away from you, his breath fans your cheek as you hold yours because this will be the last time you will ever be held by him in this way after tonight. You close your eyes and just feel his body against yours.

As your bodies sway and move with the music, you try to commit every part of this moment to your memory because that is all this moment will be, a memory that you will hold close to your heart for the rest of your life.

Opening your eyes, you look deep into Anthony's brown ones and find a longing gaze resting there. Your heart beats faster as the song picks up pace and Anthony grabs your hand to spin you around so that your back is pressed to his chest and his arm is pressed against your torso.

Your head naturally tilts to expose your neck and Anthony dips his head slightly, not enough to be noticed, but enough to inhale the scent of your perfume. You inhale deeply as a fires is light inside your body. Anthony spins you back around and you collide with his chest and you wrap your arms around his neck, highly unlady like, before moving them away from him. His arms are wrapped around you and he looks down at your doe like eyes as you blink up at him. His breathing shallows and you give him one more longing look, communicating very ounce of love and desire that you hold for him in your heart as the song comes to a slow end and the two of you separate.

You bow and then for what feels like the last time, you look at him before turning away and going to stand by Kate as you silently suffer through the feeling of longing alone.

---

Watching Edwina and Anthony dance and laugh to each other was torture for you and Kate watching you watch them hurt her. You stood there, eyes never leaving Edwina and Anthony as they spun around the room. She looked as though she was telling him something important, most likely about the wedding. While the two of them were smiling, they did not seem real. These two were to be married and Edwina got nervous at these events to it very well could have been nerves.

"Staring at them like you are jealous is not a good look for you, sister." Kate says with a teasing grin. "The green monster is not a very good look on you."

"When do you go back to India?" You ask with a smile.

"After the wedding," Kate says.

"Well thank goodness."

A man comes up to you. He has brown hair that is slightly curly and he is attractive.

"Miss Sharma, could I offer you a dance?" He asks with a small smile.

You decide that you like his smile.

"Yes of course," You agree and take his hand.

Leading you out onto the dance floor, you learn his name is Henry and that he has six younger siblings. He tells you that he hopes to have a family with his bride and that he hopes to get a dog.

"Miss Sharma, what are your hobbies?" He asks.

"My hobbies?"

"Yes. I would like to know more about you and your mind."

"I enjoy reading and writing."

"Could I perhaps read some of your work?"

"I'm not very skilled," You confess.

"Nonsense," He smiles and you found yourself smiling. "I'm sure your writing is just as beautiful as you.''

---

Anthony watches you from where he is dancing with Edwina. His dark eyes bore into the skull of the man who has you in his arms. Not very subtle of him to be glaring in your direction.

"And I think that we should not be married," Edwina states as she looks up at Anthony.

"I agree," He says, his eyes still trained on you. "Marriage between the two of us would be miserable on both parts."

"Anthony, will you at least look at me? Glancing at my sister while dancing with your soon to be wife is not a good look."

"I apologize."

"Oh please, spare me the sob apologizes," Edwina says. "You are not really sorry that the two of you betrayed me, but because you got caught when the stakes got too high."

"Edwina, I never meant to hurt you-"

"Spare me the details, Anthony." She rolled her eyes. "The two of you love each other and that is all there is to it."

"Are you angry?"

"Angry? At her, no. Not any more any way." She shrugged. "My sister has always put me before her every time so I do not blame her for falling for your charms and finally putting herself first. I am however angry with the fact that neither of you thought to tell me that you loved each other."

"I didn't want to mess up our plan of marriage."

"Well, I am glad I am not marrying you because if I was, this would hurt a lot more."

Edwina sees a man dancing with you and sees the change in Anthony's eyes as he stares from across the room.

"Who is that?"

---

"Don't they look perfect?' Henry asks after catching your eyes on the couple.

"Yes, they do." You say with a hint of sadness.

"I hope to find a love match like theirs," he says as he looks at you. "It's not every day that you find someone to spend your life with."

"It is not," You say. "Some times, you fall for someone who you can never possess resulting in the same fate."

"I was hoping-"

"Henry, you are a nice man, but my heart lies somewhere else. I am terribly sorry."

"Miss Sharma, I do not fault you for your heart being with another man," He says, moving a loose strand of hair out of your face. "Love does funny things to a person and it is very evident that you have a desire to be with a certain person. I do wish you the best of luck, Miss Sharma. Good day."

He walks away from you in the middle of the dance floor and you watch as everyone else in the room seem to have eyes on you as they spun around you. Walking off the dance floor, you find Kate and ask about Edwina.

"She is currently about to give her speech."

Turning to the center of the room, the Queen looks around confused as Edwina clinks a spoon against her glass to get everyone's attention.

"Hello everyone," She says. "As some of you know, I am Edwina Sharma and I am engaged currently to Viscount Bridgerton, at least I was."

Gasps fill the room and everyone's eyes cling to her frame. Anthony joins her at the center of the room.

"That is true," He confirms. "Our hearts do not beat the same rhythm, thus not following the same path."

"I wanted a love match, and Anthony's heart doesn't not hold love for me," Edwina continues.

"Edwina and I are trying to say that we will not have a wedding in three days time. There will not be a wedding between the two of us," Anthony says.

Edwina walks away from Anthony and returns by Kate's side and looks at you from across the room. You stare at her with disbelief. She said that she wanted to marry him and yet she just publically ended their engagement before the entire ton, including the Queen.

Anthony stands in the center of the floor with all eyes on him. Queen Charlotte stands up and all eyes shift to her.

"Well, that was a turn in events," She says. "Lord Bridgerton, would you care to enlighten me on who it is you will be marrying? After all, who would be a better pick than the lady I choose for you?"

Anthony nods and walks into the crowd. His eyes are fixed on you and you feel your breathing stop. He can't be serious. There is no way that he would do this to you.

Anthony stops right in front of you and gives you that boyish grin that made you fall in love with him. All eyes are on the two of you, but it feels as though it is only you and Anthony in the room. He takes your hand in his and lifts it to his lips, and a gasp rang out from the crowd as his lips touch your gloved hand.

You feel the warmth of his lips through the gloves and a blush overtakes your face. He then guides you to the room, his eyes never leaving yours. His face is filled with warmth and it appears as if he is melting before you. Everything moves in slow motion because it feels like forever before you make it to the center of the room before the Queen.

You nervously curtsy and bow your head before her. Anthony slips your arm in his and he looks up to the Queen.

"My heart belongs with her. She is who I will marry."

"Heart touching, really, but does she want to marry you, Anthony?" Queen Charlotte asks. "I have not yet heard you ask that question."

The crowds eyes shift back to the two of you and then back to the Queen.

Anthony turns to you and pulls out the wedding ring from his mother. The very ring that his father gave to her when they wed. He moves in front of you and gives you a smile before dropping to one knee.

"Miss Y/N Sharma, our love has not been easy," He starts. "Our love has been shaky and difficult, but I could never ask for a better person to go through this journey of life with. I want to dance with you at every ball. I want to wake up beside you and lie down beside you every night. My heart tells me that you are the one for me, that you are my person. So I ask you, in front of the ton, in front of the Queen, and most importantly your family, I ask will you marry me?"

Tears pour down you face as you struggle for words. Silence fills the air as everyone waits for your answer. You look at Anthony and feel your heart swell. Anthony looks up at you with devoted love and admiration as he waits for your response. The crowd erupts with cheer and claps when the word leaves your lips.

"Yes."

[mirrorball-leclerc]

i did something bad - part two

THE CHARLOS BREAK UP

masterlist//previous//next

BRAZIL 2023

daniel ricciardo please tell me charles did not get into an argument with carlos.

teagan horner charles did not get into an argument with carlos. carlos got into an argument with him, two very different things.

max verstappen what was the argument even about?

charles leclerc doesn't matter it was bullshit.

mark webber clearly not, if you two came to blows.

pierre gasly carlos said he was shit driver and and that he only had the red bull seat because he was 'fucking horner's slut daughter' or that was the tailend of what i heard.

pierre gasly not to mention he punched teagan in face because she stood in front of charles hoping to stop the situation.

alex albon well i'll be damned.

yuki tsunoda so we all follow that one gossip account? because i know none of you were near when this happened.

liam lawson i do. how else am i supposed to find out that fernando alonso was visited by taylor swift last week in austin? daniel ricciardo it's fun to follow them. one time they said max and i were hooking up, we weren’t, but i liked the tweet to fuel them more. pr was not happy that week.

mark webber christian's been awfully quite this entire time.

max verstappen we're planning on how to torpedo into carlos in brazil. i'm the sacrifice because i've already won the championship. checo perez he supposed to fail at getting pole position in quali next week to end up behind carlos. sebastian vettel pulling a kvyat i see, i respect it max verstappen the only time i'll do something like kvyat. yuki tsunoda HE PUNCHED TEAGAN?! WHAT THE HELL?? WHERE IS THIS MAN?!

liam lawson yuki, think about your actions. charles is getting fined for what you’re thinking about doing (i think)

yuki tsunoda do i look like i give a fuck?

pierre gasly we ride at dawn!

mark webber you two are perfect for each other

sebastian vettel YOU’RE IN A MEETING GET OFF YOUR PHONE GASLY!!!

yuki tsunoda that should be your sign gasly, come back to alpha tauri! daniel can take your seat at alpine

daniel ricciardo hell no. i saw what they did to my fellow aussie, oscar. do you think i wanna get sued by them?

teagan horner we’re back, carlos is still pissed but so is my dad.

mark webber how’s your face after that punch?

teagan horner i have a sick black eye. i look like i got in a bar fight. i got the proper texas experience. christian horner this isn't a laughing matter teagan. you could've been seriously hurt. sebastian vettel he's right teagan, it could've escalated to something worse. max verstappen so is the plan still on to crash into carlos or not?

charles leclerc not, i want to do it. who gives a fuck on where i end up in the drivers championship, i'm already p7. let me do it brocedes style.

daniel ricciardo ah, 2016 spainsh grand prix, those were good days.

sebastian vettel you got p4 and max won daniel ricciardo they were good days because both mercedes dnf'd

max verstappen he won't do it

sergio perez i'll gladly help, we can have a repeat of yesterday.

charles leclerc deal and sorry about that, again.

sergio perez it could've happened to anyone, besides it was my fault

alex albon so...talk about a dramatic brazilian gp

lewis hamilton why is it always thing 1 or thing 2 starting the awkward conversations? lando norris they have nothing better to do alex albon listen here you muppet!

logan sargeant (i'm so sorry lewis) it's giving brocedes 2.0

nico hulkenberg be grateful you weren't around then sargeant. those were dark times.

lewis hamilton i feel like you're being a little dramatic about it.

kevin magnussen we aren't. everyone walked on eggshells because of you two. toto could never seem to catch a break.

fernando alonso it seems you're the old one lewis, if your memory is failing already.

lando norris kinda surprised it took this long for those two to go at it a la brocedes

charles leclerc i was sandwiched, what was i supposed to do? crash into checo for the second time in a row?

carlos sainz not crash into me. you had no problem crashing into sergio last week.

charles leclerc well, checo is the one retiring this year, not you. you'll have plenty more races.

carlos sainz since when do you call him checo?

carlos sainz and i was on pole! i could've won!

max verstappen at charles' expense no less

george russell "horrified looks from everyone in the room"

daniel ricciardo i don't know if i should be impressed that you know taylor swift lyrics lance stroll coming from the guy who sang our song in an interview word for word last month. daniel ricciardo at least i wasn't the one spamming the groupchat with taylonso memes

lewis hamilton how did this become the mess it has?

fernando alonso this is the only time i will ever wish sebastian was still driving. at least he could control these baboons.

nico hulkenberg who are you calling a baboon, nando?

fernando alonso if the shoe fits, nico, if the shoe fits

LAS VEGAS 2023

pierre gasly i will be throwing hands with fred and the rest of ferrari’s f1 team, starting with carlos.

alex albon but we gotta give charles credit, defying team orders the way he did in vegas? respect, it further proves ferrari would keep sacrificing his race even if he was on pole and leading the majority of the race.

liam lawson what did we expect? it's ferrari, and that strategy was a shit one, even i know that. charles had been leading for 35/50 laps and they wanted him to let carlos through? who was down in p6? yuki tsunoda ferrari has shit for brains pierre gasly and it's not like carlos would've been able to make it past checo, oscar, danny, and max to get the win. in the end, lando and alex overtook him, alex who's in a williams! you would've given me a few more laps and i could've overtaken him.

daniel ricciardo also, rumor has it that piero ferrari is like super pissed they let charles go.

mark webber of course he’s pissed, charles was their golden boy, he won monza. the first to do so since 2010 when fernando had won.

liam lawson i think the biggest fuck you to ferrari would be having charles win both monza and imola

sebastian vettel i like this kid, where did christian find you?

pierre gasly outside of yuki’s home. he picked him up by the scruff of his neck and said, “i want you to be our reserve driver at alpha tauri” liam lawson he found me in a dumpster outside of his home. sebastian vettel i hate both of you

teagan horner i thank god everyday that there is only one race left until the season is over

¡leclerc-s speaks! would carlos ever act like this? probably not, doesn't mean i'm going to stop writing it this way. i think people react in different ways when they're hurt and unfortunately in this fic carlos is lashing out. don't worry, i'm going to fix their relationship, just not for now, i like drama. would any of these events happen irl, no way, but what's the fun in fanfic if you can't exaggerate events at least a little?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[zhvakinnn]

Waaa no more request so I decided to make a school bus graveyard incorrect quotes:'D

Reader is here, but he/she/them a singel sorry

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Aiden: if i were to punch myself and i got hurt am i strong or weak?

Reader: strong!

Ben writing: weak

Tyler: an idiot

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Taylor: what's worst than a heart break?

Reader: waking up finding your phone unplug

Tyler: waking up in the morning

Ashlyn: waking up

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Ashlyn: sometimes I wanna be a caterpillar

Logan: why?

Ashlyn: eat's a lot, sleep's a lot

Logan: oh.. but wait fun fact about caterpillars they have a life span of two weeks?

Ashlyn: hm that's another highlight

Logan realize: wait no!

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Aiden: Quick Ashlyn hold my hand!

Ashlyn: now what?!

Aiden: nothing i just wanna hold hands

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Tyler: hey reader

Reader: my old friend used to call me that

Tyler:...

Tyler: ITS BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALY YOUR NAME

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Reader in a sleepover with Taylor: hey do you know what time it is my phone just died

Taylor: oh my phone died too, wait

Taylor stands up and took a flute and playing terrible

Tyler: WHO THE HECK PLAYS A FLUTE IN 5AM

Taylor: its 5am wait.. its already 5am?

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Reader: what's a thot?

Aiden: a thoughtful friend

...

Taylor bringing you a snack

Reader: thanks Tay your such a thot

Tyler: exuse me what?-

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Ashlyn: ah shit..

Mr. Banner: hey language

Tyler: oh fucking c'mon

Mr. Banner: language!

Taylor: ah shit that hurts

Mr. Banner: language!..

Aiden: what the frick brick jick kick jack is that shing shong

Reader: hey what the fick tick tickity tock was that about

Mr. Banner:...

Mr. Banner: what the fuck?..

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Ben writing fast: your loosing a lot of blood, Quick what's your type?!

Tyler reading it: blonde, has glasses, and a sniper

Reader: NO DUDE YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Tyler: dunno ask him

Aiden: red

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Ben writing: do you think crabs fly?

Reader: how high are you?

Ben: 6'0

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Reader: how high are you?

Aiden: how what?

Reader: high

Aiden: hello

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Cop: you're receiving a ticket for having three people in one motorcycle

Ben was driving

Aiden: wait three?

Cop: yeah?

Taylor: OMG TYLER!

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Reader: setting down an ace of spades

Aiden: setting down a 4+ uno

Ashlyn: Pikachu I choose you

Ben sweating because he doesn't know what the heck is happening

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

Ashlyn: why is Taylor and tyler leaning at each others back?

Aiden: they had a fight

Logan: why are they holding hands then?

Reader: they got sad after a fight

-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-✧-

I'll be making more of this and try to ship reader with someone:')

Masterlist | about me | rules

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

coney island x mbobhft

WHAT A COMPLETE SHOCK I WONDER WHAT INSTIGATED THIS /ijbol

Sorry for putting you on blast friend but also this is a very unique experience we share 😂

Ah, London N6, a night that will live in infamy for many reasons, not the least of which being IT WAS RARE WE WERE THERE WE REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL.

As many of you will know (and @claudiajcregg literally witnessed next to me as I mouthed WHAT THE FUCK), this is the mashup that broke my brain because it made my third eye open in the rafters of fuckass Wembley Stadium.

Warning: this is going to be a very long one because I am far too personally invested in it 😂

(It's so interesting seeing it from this angle head-on given that we were behind the stage 😂 I don't think I've ever seen it properly lol.)

First of all, My Boy was one of those songs that I loved as a bop when TTPD came out, but then when the voice memo version was released last summer (iirc a few weeks before this?) it made the song click even more pointedly because it made it infinitely sadder (and clearer and maybe confirmed my own inklings but anyway). Looking over my blog archives the day it was released is a trip because it can just be summed up as: IT'S SO FUCKING SAD! The idea that someone who you considered your closest confidant also being the one to help break you into a million more pieces? Devastating! "It sounds sad because I'm sad in general," ugh. But I digress.

Then you have Coney Island, which is where I confess that despite evermore being my favourite album, the song was one I didn't particularly gravitate towards. It's beautiful! It's evocative! It just wasn't one that like, permeated my consciousness all that much. It was one of those "wow she's sure telling a sad story with pretty words" type of things. Until, of course, she combined it with My Boy to maximize their joint slay that wrecked my brain and made me reconsider BOTH of them.

OK ENOUGH BACKSTORY LET'S GET TO THE PLOT 😂

Should've known it was only a matter of time, my boy only breaks his favourite toys... Break my soul in two, looking for you but you're right here, and if I can't relate to you anymore, then who am I related to? I loooooooove that transition! Again, one of the fun parts of the mashups that has become more evident as I've been on this exercise is that sometimes you can see the "hook" lyrically of what makes her craft the mashup. Here, it's the break toys/break my soul parallel.

And I *think* this might have been the point at which my brain went WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAT in real time lmao. Again, I don't know why Coney Island never quite rooted itself in my brain, although thinking back on it, I do wonder if the fact that it's a duet played a role in that; as someone who tends to gravitate towards melody/sound before lyrics, maybe the fact that it's split between Matt Berninger and Taylor just made the story "split" in my brain? I don't know, but Taylor playing it on her own on the piano somehow made it click haha.

So back to the story of the mashup: You have the start of the story about the a cycle of depression (voices in his head), resentment (only breaks his favourite toys) and lashing out (I'm queen of sandcastles he destroys). And the cycle is on both parts tbh (sickest army doll/rivulets descend my plastic smile). It's a contrast to the early days of the relationship, where she felt like they were something special (but you should have seen him when he first got me/it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night), even though reality would set in and destroy it.

So then enter Coney Island, where she/the narrator is saying: you keep breaking me because you're pulling away from me (ostensibly because of said cycle) and I don't know why. You used to be the person I relied on the most in this world, and now I feel like half of me is drifting away. (At least, that's how I read "break my soul in two.") Like, this person is still physically there, but in every other respect, they're a million miles away. (Looking for you, but you're right here.) You used to be my everything, my other half, but if you're now pulling away from me, how am I supposed to exist in this world without you? (if I can't relate to you, then who am I related to?)

So admittedly this is where the duet vs. solo gets complicated in the narrative lol and I'm probably going to contradict myself just as a warning. But the theme from the start of My Boy is totally reflected in, "If this is the long haul, how did we get here so soon? Did I close my fist around something delicate, did I shatter you?" Again, the idea of: this was supposed to be our forever, yet it seems like we have just hit the beginning of the end. Was it something I did? Did I break you the way you've broken me? Is that why I'm in so much pain? IT'S SO SAD. (And again: is not only very similar to the theme of My Boy, but IMO of TTPD in general.)

The chorus of Coney Island is what this mashup REALLY illuminated for me: The idea of remembering the good times at a spot that used to be yours together, and wondering how the hell you lost sight of each other (lol) and ended up here, broken and alone. "Sorry for not making you my centrefold, over and over" is so ouchie because if it's the narrator singing that, it could almost be a little resentful, like, "I made you the centre of my universe, sorry I couldn't keep doing it again," but if it's the subject, it's like, "sorry I could never prioritize you the way you did me," and either way it's SAD.

"Lost again with no surprises, disappointments close your eyes and it gets colder as the sun goes down," REALLY got me, because it's just so resigned! Like, you keep expecting things to get better, but they don't, and you're just continually disappointed and floored with every setback. There's no grand gesture, no magic cure to save the day, everything just wilts and fades away. "It gets colder and colder as the sun goes down," is just like... all the life in your home and your relationship bleeding out like, well, death by a thousand cuts.

The bridge of Coney Island finally really hit me here because it's like the promise of youth being completely replaced by the jadedness of adulthood. "Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock, did I leave you hanging every single day?" to me just feels like: I knew you were waiting for me [to join you-- and IMO that's a metaphor for "you were waiting for me to be ready for our plans"], but I kept stalling and with every day that I stalled I hurt you even more. Obviously this may be reading too much into it, but I could make a case for the "old spot by the tree line" being a stand-in for a familiar beloved space (e.g. home) and the gold clock being a stand-in for counting down to life plans that had once been on a timeline that no longer were. But this is getting deep into literary analysis instead of a walk down memory lane with the mashup itself 😂 Anyhoo this just gave me more thoughts about another song but we are not going there on main.

And of course, "did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray a universe away" ties into so much of what we hear on TTPD (and imo much of rep through Midnights too), but also calls back to "here we go again, the voices in his head call the rain to end our days of wild," in the My Boy intro of this mashup. Like I said, this is where the duet vs. solo gets complicated if you're looking at it from a performance point of view here 😂 but it makes sense to me. (And to borrow from twitter brain rot, it fits my narrative.) But, this person drifting away emotionally and taking it out on her (a universe away) completely tears her world apart and turns her world into sadness in kind. (Which: again, is the theme of My Boy too.)

And maybe my favourite part of the mashup, thematically and sonically because it brings it all together:

When I got into the accident, the sight that flashed before me was your face, but when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name... but just say when I'd play again, he was my best friend down at the sandlot, I felt more when he played pretend than with all the Kens, cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts, told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

It's this idea of: this person loves you more than anything (e.g. your face being the first they see when their life flashes before their eyes), but being unable to show you that kind of love and taking you for granted in spite of it (forgot to say your name). Like, I'd die for you, but I still can't be there for you. THAT IS HEAVY. (Yes, complicated by duet/solo, no, I don't care.) And in spite of it all, I would have still tried again! (And she did, ahem.) Because even when you hurt me, I still loved you more than anyone else! This love felt like it was worth more than the pain it caused, even when I was denying how much it was hurting me! I somehow believed you every time, but I know it was killing me. OOF.

(I could say "told me I'm better off, but I'm not," sounds like "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?" but I don't mean to veer into muse discourse because the mashup stories stand alone on their own etc.)

In the end, it comes down to "he saw forever, so he smashed it up." If you're looking at it as one full story, My Boy is like the context about the dark place they both find themselves in, and Coney Island fills in the lines about how said boy broke said favourite toy, little by little, until it turns into the destructive force you find in My Boy that leaves her in pieces to pick up on her own. And this is a case where the mashup really deepened my understanding of BOTH songs! Coney Island wasn't just a tale of fading love in the backdrop of the place of childhood dreams, it's a whole metaphor for a shared life disintegrating. And while I got the themes of My Boy instantly, pairing it with a song that's a little more grounded in reality kind of highlights the darkness behind the toy box conceit even further. My Boy sets the stage for the fallout from mental health and personal struggles, and Coney Island shows how that happens.

As an aside, she does some incredible things vocally in this mashup, and the way she belts out "I'm not" repeatedly is one of them! The power! The emotion! Master class in using your voice as a tool to tell a story! From the first quiet "I'm not," to the final angry one, it is a journey!!!

Thank you so much for this bestie!!!! It took me literal hours but it was worth it 😂 Aaah August 2024 you will always be famous.

(And for everyone else: we are still on a moratorium for mashup madness asks because I still have too many to go through lol. I will let y'all know when I am accepting requests again!)

[sgiandubh]

Yes. Toddlers are 3 and below. However this doesn't mean Sam doesn't know her as a friend nor mean he hasn't met her son, as they are friends, not dating. We all know they had lunch as friends, he cheered her at event as friend. Photos and video prove this. The park story is a story, no photos, no proof of any of it being real. Before you go there, yes video he and Caitriona had some hug/peck at a concert, but still no proof of marriage, nor romantic anything or intoxication. Believe what you want, beliefs aren't truths.

Dear Beliefs Aren't Truths Anon,

Congratulations, you have won the Weekly Audio bingo, since I am now speaking with more ease:

Excuse me, but... you accuse me of lying?

With such desperate arguments?

A question in return for you, Anon: did you, by any chance, grow up with a single/divorced parent?

I did. And while I have discussed at great length Sarah H's irresponsible ways of exposing her underage son to Internet's predatory scrutiny (and potentially worse), I can assure you:

No single/divorced mother would bring along her son for Hogmanay at some vague, single, male friend's house.

No single/divorced mother would send her son for a walk in the park, on a Sunday early (and chilly) morning with that same vague, single, male friend of hers.

Unless they date. Which we both agree they weren't.

The above are simply not done. Not ever, not in any culture on Earth.

So, if they are friends (as you say), that means you guys spent literally months in a row in empty, mendacious speculation about Nothing At All, triggered by the fanfic written by a troll. I mean, just WOW, Anon. I have no words: mature women, who have a life, peeking into a stranger's whereabouts. I hope you are proud of yourself!

And doll - I happen to believe they were mutually beneficial acquaintances, for a very clear purpose (more followers for her and a naive diversion from his real life, aka the Elephant in the Room, for him). That is all. Things have noticeably chilled since she overexposed her son on the Web, yet she might make a cameo later on the timeline, if desperation requires it. Happened before, you see.

And yes, I will always go back 'there', Anon, simply because I know what I saw with my own eyes (and I am not the only one). Also, you seem to fail making the logical difference between being intoxicated with alcohol (one of your side's most pathetic, ludicrous 'arguments' ever ) and being infatuated with someone. That is how I know your English vocabulary is as poor as your logic or common sense, Anon. And I am sorry, so fucking sorry to bother you, buttercup, but that Taylor Swift kiss was caught on video alright.

Thank you for confirming toddlers are aged 3 and below, in the meanwhile. And thank you for confirming that basically three months after I finally published that Park Anon I was sent (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/751391542332325888/i-always-read-the-comments-on-sams-posts-because), you are still as unsettled by it as on Day 1.

Now you tell me what that means, in your book, Anon. Because in mine that surely smells of slow burning despair.

[Later Edit, not on audio]: ah, yes, that friendly, ripe with innuendo London lunch. So long for that poor convenient imbecile, the Brazilian Journo, eh? She thought Sarah was his lover and here you are, Anon, bursting her post-teenage inacceptable bubble.

Wasn't she explaining with great impertinence that shippers were in need of immediate medical attention? I wonder what she would do if she'd meet me in an official capacity, really. Probably go hide and cry.

But this is great, Anon, I mean wow - you surely KNOW stuff, eh?

[anitalianfrie]

I am begging you to translate this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7eN1flsqvO/?igsh=Y3R5MGFuMWdiZzNr

(It is several minutes long though and will probably be a huge pain so no pressure!)

sure! here's the link . I recommend watching the video while you read this bc the volg is cut really weird, there's not one long conversation and what happens in the video is pretty useful to understand what's going on in the translation. unfortunately i wasn't able to translate some bits, but i tried my best

as always, my comments/specifications are in between []

Mig: hello everyone, I've arrived at bez's house. Cele's not here yet

Mig: hey

Bez: sium

Mig: I couldn't not start a video like this, could i?

Bez: with the plane

Mig: with the plane. it gives it the look of a vlog, doesn't it? We're waiting for Cele

Bez: the excruciating wait

--

Cele: I'm at the roundabout, the one with the car dealers

Bez: what car dealer bro?

Cele: ehhhh, the ones that-

mig: what kind of question is that

Cele: i don't know, anyways i'm here, two minutes and i'm there

Bez: okay, okay

Mig: two minutes like those before, or two real minutes?

Bez: sorry, but what car does he have?

Cele: the Cupra

Bez: yes, here he is, here he is

Mig: listen to him

Mig: tac!

Mig: in the end, [something i don't get]

Bez: we're ready

Cele: the boots for Mugello, because I go to Mugello. With stile.

Mig: well, it's not like those boots are super new. Understandable. you- why-

Bez: one different from the other

Mig: one different from the other

Cele: obviously. I even have another pair even more broken

Mig: but the backpack is the right one

Cele: yes [something i don't get]

Mig: well i mean, we stay away the night but, whatever. everybody- this pair [of boots] is in a bit of a better state than the other one

Cele: yes. better. [cele shows the boot to the camera]

Mig: this one is perfect

Cele: nooo

Mig: two left boots

Bez: but the others are left and right

Cele: yes, I know, but-

Mig: what shoe size do you wear?

Cele: but what if I slip on the left?

Mig: what's your shoe size bro?

Cele: 40, 41, 42

Mig: You can borrow mine

[here's the song they were listening to in the car]

--

--

Franky: Marco

Bez: Franky! how is it?

Franky: everything's okay

Mig: hi Chicco! [chicco is usually the nickname given to people named federico. knowing mig this is a reference of some sort i'm not able to place]

Bez: yes, we were doing a round fo calls, we wanted to know how you were

Franky: everythings alright

Franky: there's also Celestino, what is he doing

Cele: hi Franco

Franky: what is he doing?

BEz: he's here, he's here

Mig: hi Franco!

Franky: hi Celes!

Cele: hi!

[i assume bez's laugh here is bc franco is completely ignoring mig wich. hilarious to me]

Franco: hi!

--

[second song they were listening to. yes it's calcutta i almost couldn't believe my ears]

mig: we're here. one hour and- almost two hours later

--

Bez: ohi where are you?

Pecco: at the hotel

Bez: in hotel?

Pecco: have you arrived yet?

Bez: ah so you've arrived before us

Pecco: well, obviously

Mig: we're here

Bez: we've arrived just now

Pecco: ok, then now we'll go downstairs, let's meet in the lobby at eight. which is now.

Bez: we're here now, now we park

Mig: i would do the check in, and then we go back downstairs

--

Mig: here they are, here they are

Mig: it's like in shining

Cele: we can go to misano directly tomorrow

Pecco: if we go back in time, we go

--

Mig: hello everyone, ehhh we're ready we've woken up and now we go to the circuit, we go to the others

Mig: now, where are our champions? Let's go see near the car. oh, here they are

Mig: Come on! Good morning! Let's go, come on! and sbam!

--

Mig: you do the greeting, this is the classical greeting when you arrive at the circuit, you rise your hand

--

Guy: - because we were thinking of putting down the names of singers, or-

Cami: the name on the transponder is the name of a singer

Pecco: for me either Steve Taylor or Francesco Renga. Now i have to decide

Franco: good morning

--

Mig: ehhh, what's the theme? Singers or bands, or like is it the same...

Guy: singers

--

Mig: my denstist will be proud of me. Shoutout to Doctor Bausi, he's the number one. Super important [something i don't get bc of the toothbrush]

Bez: you cut three, four tens of a second each lap

--

[all the conversations in the box were either very difficult to hear or with too little context to make them translatable (or even useful to translate) sorry]

--

Mig: well guys, this is all, from the track, now the return trip awaits us

--

Mig: that's true, we stayed on the phone the whole time, but now we're here.

Bez: yeah

Mig: bye. we're here, and nothing else. we go home, it was amazing, and... do you have something to declare to end this- here there's a knee slider by the way, i guess it's vietti's... is it yours?

Bez: i declare that.. this return trip has been one of the greatest trip of all time, with a group phone call of...

Mig: one hour and fifteen

Bez: one hour and fifteen

Mig: since before Bologna

Bez: we never felt alone, we felt cuddled by our friends

Cele: we never felt this close

--

Mig: there's a spider, it doesn't open

Bez: can i say it now? you didn't do as you- what is that, what rug is that?

Mig: it's nice isn't it

Bez: where did you stole it from?

Mig: i bought it. I bought it from Toriani, a carpet- from Toriani Tavullia's hardware store, a rug with the sun and the moon, for a step, this a step rug

--

Mig: bye everyone, it's been great

Cele: thank you [while hugging bez]

Mig: it's been a pleasure

[jellymochii]

How You Get the Girl - NingNing x Fem!Reader

🧋The sequel to She’s Cheer Captain and I’m on the Bleachers requested by @kimminjiissosjdirbidnsjje

🧋Genre: Fluff, Humor

🧋Tw: Swearing

🧋If you would for me to make a part 3 or keep adding on to this series pls lmk!

🧋Authors Note: Hello! I am so sorry it took this long, I may take a hiatus for about a month to prep for finals, thank you all so much for your support! Hope you enjoy!

🧋Huge thanks to @heechwe for the banner! Love you smmmm💕

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**

8:59am

You stood by the door to the campus coffee shop with sweaty palms and eyes averted to your phone—trying to look casual even though you were just staring at your calendar.

Even though you detested the cold brittle winters of early December, you wanted to wait for NingNing outside, stubbornly. Waiting inside was Yunjin and Kai, who agreed to watch you from a distance to make sure you weren’t totally fucking up your first date with your dream girl.

9:05am

Message from: Yunjin (band)

Yunjin: We’re inside.

You: oh god im freaking out, she’s 5 minutes late, I knew she was just giving me pity.

Yunjin: Bitch it’s cold outside, give her a minute.

You: yeah but she’s NEVER late, she always came to class ten minutes early.

You never got a response from Yunjin, left to ponder what could have possibly went wrong with everything. Maybe you weren’t really up to her standards and she gave you a kiss out of pity, or maybe her friends or family found out about you two and locked her in a dungeon. Maybe she got into a terrible accident on the way here, or what if she—

“Oh my God, Y/N! What are you doing out in this freezing cold?!” You heard NingNing cry out from behind you.

“Oh—hey! You look gorgeous today.” You smiled.

“Please don’t tell me you were waiting just for ME in this cold, right?” She questioned.

“Well who else would I be waiting for silly?” You giggled, placing a kiss on her temple from excitement.

She heaved a sigh of disappointment amidst your stubbornness, cheeks blushing nonetheless. “Cmon, let’s get inside-I’m cold.”

The coffee shop was your typical off-brand rustic shop with wooden walls and floors—and a single chandelier on its last life. Nevertheless, it was still charming enough to satisfy the two of you.

After you’d both gotten your coffees and taken your seats, you took a sip from your cup only to be met with an almost vile taste—the expression on your face giving it away.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Is the coffee not good?” NingNing asked, before immediately swiping it out of your hands to have a taste herself.

And to your horror, she spit it back out almost instantly.

“Oh my God, this is DISGUSTING. Wait here, Y/N.”

You stood there mouth open as NingNing pushed through the now even longer line, heading straight towards the counter.

“EXCUSE ME—sorry, could you please remake this? You gave my girlfriend burnt coffee and it tastes BEYOND disgusting, dude.”

Wait, girlfriend?

At this point it didn’t matter to you that she was in an almost screaming match with the tall male barista, your ears were ringing and your heart felt like it was beating faster than it ever had at her comment. The snickering behind you felt like nothing but background noise when all your could hear in your head was the replaying of her voice.

Amidst your disassociation, NingNing had already returned with an even taller coffee than the one you’d ordered before taking a sip and sighing with relief.

“Ah, that’s much better. I mean seriously, I don’t know what’s wrong with these people—they act like they’re professional coffee brewers who can do no wrong.” She said.

“Ah it’s ok, they look busy anyway, they must’ve just missed it.” You replied nervously.

“It’s ok, I can tell you’re not the type to stand up for yourself, so I’ll do it for you!”

Oh God, this must be heaven. It’s almost like she knew you hated asking for new fries when the ones you got were cold and soggy, or when they put pickles on your burger despite you asking for none. It’s like a higher power knew you needed someone to always stick up for you.

“I know this is a stupid question, but what do you like to do for fun?” You asked.

“Well, if I’m being honest—I sleep, like a lot. As much as I love dancing and singing, my favorite part of the day is putting my headphones on and crashing for five hours.”

“Wait, same! It seems like ever since I started college it seems like I’m tired after one class, even with coffee.”

“For sure! I have to have my heated blanket on too, the dorms are freezing.”

“Yeah, and all my stuffed animals have to be—“

“Wait, you sleep with stuffed animals?” NingNing asked, causing you to freeze.

Well shit, nice going—now you look like a total baby.

Message From: Kai (band)

Kai: HAHAHAHAHEHIDIEIFBWI NICE ONE

Your cheeks were burning at this point, but if you were gonna go down you were gonna go down with glory.

“Oh, uh—yeah. I have 3. They’re frogs.” You mumbled.

At this point NingNing almost burst out laughing, causing the color to drain from your face.

Message From: Yunjin (band)

Yunjin: GIRL YOU’RE COOKED

“I have one too, except it’s not a frog—it’s a peanut jellycat. I think the frog is adorable though!” NingNing smiled.

Message From: Yunjin (band)

Yunjin: Nvm she matches ur freak

You felt a wave of relief crash through your body, knowing that you didn’t look stupid in front of the girl of your dreams.

“What’s the peanut’s name?”

“Just peanut, I’m not creative haha. What’s your frog’s name?”

“I only named one of them, the main one’s name is Cami—she’s been with me since I was a baby and I can’t seem to let go of her.”

“That’s so cute! We still need to figure out a name for the other two.” She giggled brightly.

The two of you spent the next hour talking about everything under the sun, from possible frog names to how math should be illegal and how you’d both ban it if you were president. Yunjin and Kai has both left halfway in as they deemed your conversations “cute but way too cheesy” which gave you more confidence to speak directly with her, especially since something was lingering in your head.

“Hey, so, I have a question about what you said earlier.” You remarked.

“Shoot.”

“What did you mean when you told the barista I was your girlfriend?”

Your comment made her cheeks turn by far one of the brightest shades of red you’d ever seen.

“Oh uh—I’m sorry! I just got so excited to finally be in a relationship with a girl that I got carried away.” She stuttered, earning a smile from you.

“I mean, it would be a dream come true if you did want to be my girlfriend, but n-no pressure! It’s up to you, I swear.” You replied nervously.

“…You know what? Absolutely! Besides, I may or may not have already told half of the squad and Hyunjin about our date anyway hehe.”

“Oh you told them? What do they think?”

“Some of them knew from when I was younger since my parents were ok with it, and they were all surprisingly cool about it, Winter was the only one who seemed shocked. Besides, if they had a problem with it—I’d just kick em off the team!”

“Oh wow, you have that much power over them?”

“Well yeah silly—like this one time this girl was bullying some girl in her sociology class into giving her answers which is soooo childish, so I told the coach and the coach gave me permission to cut her! Besides, she sucked anyway.”

“Y’know NingNing, you’ve really changed my perception about cheerleaders.” You commented. “I feel really bad since I used to think all cheerleaders were rich snobby bitches, but you—you’re incredible in every way.”

You could see a bright smile slowly start to form on her face with each word you said. “I totally understand where you’re coming from, and while I am technically rich and a bitch sometimes—I’d like to think I’m a bitch with manners at least.”, her comment making you both burst out laughing.

As noon approached faster than expected, the baristas death glare at your table worsened making you usher the two of you out (And of course NingNing gave an even meaner glare back).

“Hey, I know you probably have tons of other stuff to do today but I really had fun with you today. Would you wanna get some lunch and then head over to the gift shop down the road? I wanna get a stuffed animal that matches Mr Peanut for you. Oh and also, can I kiss you?” You rambled, somewhat unaware of what you just said.

NingNing giggled silently as she cupped your cheek and locked lips with yours, remnants of coffee on both of your lips.

“Yeah, that definitely feels right.” She whispered. “Now C’mon, I’ll pay for lunch.”

“NUH UH. My treat.” You teased.

“Hmm ok my little band geek, whoever gets there first pays!” She shouted before darting off at what seemed like the speed of light to you, causing you to run after her laughing. (And while you definitely had marching stamina, it was no match for her insane athleticism.)

It appeared that maybe Yunjin and Kai were wrong, you didn’t have to change anything about yourself to secure the girlfriend of your dreams, because as it turns out—stuffed animals are in fact How You Get the Girl.

[ohdorothea]

more info about the tournament here, lyrics and links to listen to the songs below the cut <3 link to all songs from this round here

Me And Britney lyrics + link to listen

Me and Britney used to sit on the front porch drinking lemonade

Talking about things no one else was ever supposed to hear

In the summer shade

She said she was gonna be a movie star

And I said she was crazy

Catching dreams and fireflies in a jar

Just me and Britney

Oh, oh

We were babies, we were beautiful and free

Oh, oh

There was nothing that was out of reach

For me and Britney

She never made it to Hollywood but she made it to Memphis

And this little old town just hasn’t been the same since

That boy she went ran off with, well I thought he was crazy

Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney

Oh, oh

She was in love, she was beautiful and free

Oh, oh

She was always so much braver than me

When the phone rang in the middle of the night

Before she said a word I knew it was her

She said I’m sorry for waking you up but I didn’t know who else to call

Or where else to go

Me and Britney sat down on the front porch

Talking about love and how it changes things

Changes people and it changes names and everything but me and Britney

Oh, oh

We’re not as young, but we’re still beautiful and free

Oh, oh

Even when we’re old, we’re still gonna be

Me and Britney sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade

Talking about things no one else was ever gonna hear in the summer shade

Need lyrics + link to listen

Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket

You wore to the wrong part of town

Desire is the sound of the whiskey

Telling me you miss me, can you come around?

Passion is a passing thing

It's accidental chemistry

Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire

It ain't what you and I are at all

Oh, it's a need, it's a need

I would go anywhere that you lead

I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow

Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"

I won't leave, it's a need

Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck

That tell me to run or to freeze

Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else

You forgot about me

Passion is a passing thing

It's accidental chemistry

Caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving

This is like breathing for me

Oh, it's a need, it's a need

I would go anywhere that you lead

I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow

Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"

I won't leave, it's a need

Baby, it's always

A new kiss every time we do this

The truth is

It's essential to me

That you love me more than

Wishing, longing

Oh, it's a need (It's a need), it's a need (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

I would go (I would go) anywhere (Anywhere) that you lead (Oh, oh)

I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow (Burning slow)

Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"

I won't leave (I won't leave), it's a need (Oh)