#ah i see here that you have weirdly specific opinions about a niche character from a 60s tv show and may fit in well at our organization | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewanderersrespite · 4 years ago

Text

In Regards to Ryan Haywood

Before I get into my actual rant/vent I just want to say this - Firstly, I just want to say my heart goes out to anyone and everyone impacted by this situation, both RT staff and community alike. As Jack and Michael stressed earlier, please contact [email protected] if ANYTHING like this situation has been happening to you. You’re not alone, and we see you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so - I really felt like I had to say something in regards to this whole situation. Keeping it all bottled up would absolutely do more harm than it would good.

Though I’ve been a long time fan of RT/AH, even from the before Ryan days (last time his name will be mentioned here, will be referred to as “He” from now on, or whatever variation is applicable), I’ve never been terribly active in the community, always kind of a lurker. While I was aware of them as a company since they were working in Burnie’s bedroom as I had friends who were fans, I didn’t become a fan until somewhere around the Buda office/Congress office.

I’ve seen the company grow. I’ve seen people come and I’ve seen people go. Shows made, shows canceled. My opinions of people at the company have changed as well, for the better in most cases. When He first joined up with AH, He was an instant favorite. It was something about that what I would describe as a devil-may-care attitude that just really clicked. He fit a niche that I felt like wasn’t there before, allowed stuff like The Lads and The Gents to come about, and... truly kinda made AH feel whole in a way, at least to me.

As time went on I even made some friends who liked RT as well, albeit by sheer coincidence. And while I haven’t talked to them for a few years now, He was one of their favorites. They would bring up stuff that He did, I even dressed up my character as “The Mad King” because we thought it would be funny and I had accidentally made my character look like Him. (Game was Final Fantasy 14, for those who are curious)

Times move on, people change, yet He still remained my favorite. Even if his “Mad King” persona started to feel a little... real at times. It was around the time of the Leviathan Raid videos in Destiny 2, specifically the Emperor Calus encounter (y’all know what I’m talking about) where I felt my opinion starting to waiver a little bit. Maybe it came from never really seeing anyone at AH rage before, outside of Michael of course, but something just really started to feel off about it. I’m not saying I knew, cause I didn’t. I’m not saying I suspected, cause I didn’t. Frankly, I think anyone who is saying they did suspect something of Him is probably full of shit. It just felt weird - Sure, the Destiny raids had gotten them heated in the past, they aren’t the easiest things in the world, but it never felt like THAT.

Fast forward to 2020, and you all know what’s going on in the world right now. AH and RT as a whole moved to working from home, and in a weird way I felt like it was, and is, almost working better for them.

And now we get to the events of the last few weeks. I believe I have read most, if not all of the accounts from the victims. I’ve seen the pictures. I won’t pretend that I know how the victims are currently feeling, or felt through the events of the past few years with Him. Then today I watched Michael and Jack discussing recent events for the first time, Jack on the verge of tears, Michael looking defeated. I’ve seen Jack cry before, though it was always during Extra Life and was absolutely tears of joy. Michael, I’ve never seen look anything but happy or having a blank face. Even when he was “raging” he seemed *happy* at least.

And y’all, when Jack said “monster”, I cried. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting. This man, this monster, that I have looked up to for years. Who I wanted to BE LIKE through my teenage years. Whom I tried to EMULATE, because HE made me laugh, so I thought being like him would help me make OTHERS laugh.

What He did, in my eyes, was and is absolutely reprehensible and if His name is never spoken again it’ll still be too soon as far as I’m concerned.

And I have seen people saying that hope he dies, or wishing harm upon him, though those comments have been far and few in between. But to those few I just want to say; don’t. Hoping for stuff like that won’t solve anything. That wouldn’t be a punishment, it would be an escape, and only hurt his innocent family more instead of giving them closure. Laurie does not deserve that, and Eli and Olivia especially do not deserve that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will say as a closing, in recent months I’ve found myself watching less and less AH content. I’m not sure what the reason was exactly, be it just everything happening in the world right now and losing track of uploads, or maybe just a lack of interest anymore, or maybe just so many other people that I watch that it’s impossible to keep up sometimes. But weirdly, I feel... Like I want to interact with the community more now. This is a hard time for all of us. It’s okay to talk to others. And maybe ending this rare serious post on a quote might not the greatest way but I personally feel like it’s important.

Good times become good memories, but bad times become good lessons.

So to anyone who might see this post, let’s try our best to take these bad times and learn some lessons, and as a community lets try to make some good memories while we’re at it. (last sentence kinda cringe, but it’s what my heart wanted to say so i’m going with it)

#roosterteeth #achievement hunter #ryan haywood

0 notes