#agent curt mega is truly so much fun to write

[evil-ontheinside]

Forgot how much fun it is to write silly little spy stories. Heists and undercover missions and interrogations and underestimating your opponents and stupidly high risks and unspecified document retrievals. It's so much fun and just flows out of my brain like soup

[slamsams-blog]

The Spy Who Loved Me - #24WeeksofBond

24 Weeks of Bond continues this week with Roger Moore’s “The Spy Who Loved Me”.  A tale of two government agents who are the top of their class who get paired up to work on a mission together and who ultimately fall in “love”.  I put love in quotation marks because we never see or hear from Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach) ever again.  Usually when Bond falls in love we here from them again in some way like with Bond’s late wife Tracey, or Vesper Lynd from Casino Royale - so I hesitate to say they fell in love, but I will because that’s the movie’s gimmick.

This is Roger Moore at his peak in the role.  This has always been one of my favorite films because of the simple, playful, and fun plot of these two agents trying to best each other, the big action sequences, and of course...JAWS!  There are a few things to not like about this one, I mean I can definitely think of a few, but overall you come away from this movie feeling like you have had a ton of fun.  We still haven’t seen all the Moore films yet, but I’m pretty confident in saying that The Spy Who Loved Me just edges out Live and Let Die as Moore’s best Bond film.  Moore is hitting his stride with confidence and playfulness, the two qualities that Roger Moore brings to the character, and wether you like it or not, what we know Moore’s Bond to be.

Like I said before, this film is incredibly easy to follow...A Russian submarine has gone missing due to a submarine tracking system that is low key being sold to world powers if the price is right.  So while Russia deploys their best agent on the case, so does England.  What I truly love about this film is the script and direction that set up this story so beautifully.  In the pre title sequence we see a pair of lovers in bed, when an agent (we are assuming is the man - damn gender roles) gets called to report.  The movie swerves us when the woman answers the call.  This is how we are introduced to Triple X.  Subsequently Bond is called to London and sets off to ski only to be chased by some henchmen, one of whom, is the man Triple X was sleeping with earlier.

What takes place next is a stunt that helped revitalize what was a struggling franchise on the brink of extinction.  The Man With The Golden Gun was one of the worst drawing Bond films of all time - and the franchise was in jeopardy!  But they pull off a stunt here when Bond skis off a cliff and they let the camera roll on the stuntman free falling for what feels like forever and kicking off his skis, he then deploys the parachute with the British Flag, and I’m sure people went nuts.  This set the future of Bond in a comfortable place for decades to come.  And to follow that we get Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does It Better” which I believe won an academy award for best song?  I don’t know, I’m too tired to Wikipedia right now, but I know it was at least nominated.  I love that song, it sets the tone for the movie in such a beautiful way.

I also believe they did that stunt in one take.

So we are starting off on a great path to an enjoyable adventure where Bond and Anya are gunning for the same microfilm that contains vital information.  We are also introduced to Karl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens) who is a mega billionaire who as his own underwater marine laboratory.  We don’t really know too much of his backstory and why he is so rich and why he loves the water so much, he just does and wants everyone to live underwater with him.  So we don’t know too much about him, which makes his character, to me, rather uninteresting and uninspired.  BUT he has got a killer henchman named Jaws (Richard Kiel) who lives in infamy as one of, if not thee most iconic Bond character of all time.  There is no way that Jaws doesn’t come to anyone’s mind when thinking of the James Bond Franchise.  You would of course think of Bond, Q, maybe Moneypenny, and Jaws.

Funny enough, Richard Kiel actually played the same exact character (Metal teeth and all) in a comedy the year prior to this film’s release called “Silver Streak” starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor.  No idea how that happened.  Silver Streak came out in ‘76 while The Spy Who Loved Me came out in ‘77.  They had to have been filmed around the same time, so who thought of the character first??

This is the first of two movies that would have Jaws being a thorn in Bond’s side.  Here he is absolutely terrifying - in Moonraker they turn him into a comedy act (which I admit is great, I love comedic Jaws).  This Jaws is the quintessential Bond baddie.  He is so big and strong and can kill people with his teeth and is seemingly invincible.  Jaws dies like 40 times in this movie and keeps coming back - it is starting to feel like a running joke.

As the plot unfolds...so do the uncomfortable gender roles that the mid-seventies likes to rub in our faces.  We have a bad ass Russian spy who has a Triple X (sex reference) code name and always seems to be falling short of Bond’s cunning - because, well, he’s a man.  She also finds herself needing to be rescued by Bond a lot - because, well, he’s a man.  I really think they fell short here with this character, they just couldn’t quite pull the trigger on writing a character that is truly Bond’s equal.  She gets close, but in the end, she just becomes another “damsel in distress”.  However, we get a powerful scene between Bond and Anya when she finally finds out Bond was the one who killed her lover after we had established that they had fallen in love.  She says “Then after this mission is over, I will kill you”.  Some good stuff there.

This is another film that makes me laugh when thinking about a man like Stromberg, who has these heinous plans to attack New York City and Moscow with NUCLEAR MISSILES, can gets thousands of employees to work for him and just go along with the plan.  Stromberg wants to start a new world under the sea (did I get Little Mermaid stuck in your head?).  An ungodly insane scheme, but whatever - has he even thought about where the hell he would get his GROCERIES???  This leads to a wonderful battle scene between the captive Naval soldiers who were taken by Stromberg and Stromberg’s men.  I love these big battle scenes.  Bond catches up with Stromberg who has found more time to sit his ass down for a dinner for 9.  Kills him easily.  But then runs into Jaws again but scoops him up with a magnet to the teeth.  Ingenious.

Final scene of the movie where we expect Bond and Bond girl to celebrate a job well done boils down to Anya seeing her next mission out to kill Bond.  But all is actually good, and we end up seeing them celebrate a job well done in front of their superiors.  Classic.

The Spy Who Loved Me has some classic moments, unforgettable characters, and catapulted Bond into the future so for that I say it’s one of the best, BUT it does have it’s faults in poor character development and a weak portrayal of Anya Amasova (not Barbara’s fault, just a victim of the times and short sighted writing).  That’s all I have to say about that...what did you think of The Spy Who Loved Me tonight??

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom

The Spy Who Loved Me was absolutely great. Roger Moore was so smooth.  My favorite car scenes were in this movie.  When his car turned into a submarine and even better, when it came drifting out of the ocean onto the beach and Bond tossed the fish into the gawking crowd, it was a laugh out loud moment, even though I am usually watching these films alone.  I wasn't so impressed with the big boss, Stromberg, but Jaws was a lot of fun. Barbara Bach had that unforgettable face, but her acting was not quite as much.  I don't know which number this was in the sequence, but I love these old Bond films.

24 Weeks of Bond will return August 3rd with - 

Diamonds Are Forever

[shehulkcankickmyassanytime]

Curtwen fic for @flyingmintbunny123

Curt grinned as his Mother almost knocked him off his feet with a hug as he stood in the door. Then she started burying him in kisses that ceased being appreciated at the age of four (not that it had ever stopped her), and he lost a little enthusiasm. “Mom, enough already!” He whined. Mrs Mega broke off her onslaught, but only to begin scolding, it seemed. “Where have you been, Curtis?! It has been an age! I carry you in my womb for nine months-” “Mom, not now,” said Curt through gritted teeth, and Mrs Mega noticed the other man for the first time, standing behind her son with a slight smile on his face. “Well, how rude of us. Introduce me to this handsome young fellow then,“ she said, slapping at Curt’s arm. Curt took a deep breath. "Mom, this is Owen. Owen, this is my mom,” Curt said with an apologetic glance for her eccentricities. “A pleasure to meet you, Mrs Mega,” said Owen in his most charming voice. Curt watched him fondly, flattered that he was trying to make a good impression. That is until Owen turned his 100 watt smile on her, and she giggled, actually giggled. Curt cleared his throat. “May we come in now?” He said, giving Owen a warning look. His mother’s hostess’ instincts quickly took over and she ushered them inside onto the couch. Curt barely had time to smile ruefully at Owen before she was back with lemonade and biscuits. “If I’d known you were coming I would have put something together,” she fussed, setting the plates down. “This looks lovely,” reassured Owen, “and may I say, you have a beautiful home.” “Oh, that’s kind of you to say. You do what you can, you know. I should have liked a place by the sea but Curtis wouldn’t budge, and of course I didn’t like to be ungrateful…” “It’s a safe house, not a holiday home,” Curt grumbled. “I’m not a miracle worker.” His mother flapped at hand at him but Curt was busy glaring at Owen, who seemed to be enjoying himself far too much for Curt’s liking. “How a charming boy like you came to be friends with this sourpuss, I’d like to know,” said Mrs Mega. “Actually, ” Owen said with a small smile, “I’m his-” “Partner,” interrupted Curt. “At the Agency. ” “Oh, wonderful!” cooed Ms Mega. “Don’t I always say, you ought to bring your work buddies around? Even America’s heroes ought to be have time for a cup of tea every so often.” Curt nodded miserably as Owen shot him a ‘you-told-her-about-being-a-spy-but-not-about-being-gay’ look before returning to the conversation with his charm back in full swing. “Yes,” he agreed sagely, “but I can’t say I’m really American I’m afraid. MI6 is- loaning me out, as it were.” “Isn’t that terribly nice of them! Make sure you send a thank you note, Curtis, have some manners for once.” “Mom, I can’t write a thank you note to the /British government/,” Curt moaned. “Well why not? Its only polite.” “Owen’s not a Christmas present from Aunt Marge, Mom, he’s an Agent. ” “He seems like a plenty gift to me,” said Mama Mega with a wink at Owen. Curt buried his face in his hands. “I’ll get you some more lemonade,” the woman said, clearing away the empty pitcher. “And then you simply must tell me all about what you boys have been up to, Owen dear.” She waved a hand absently. “It’s all classified this and classified that these days, but a mother ought to know what’s happening in her son’s life,” she said and bustled into the kitchen, leaving the two nonplussed agents in her wake. “Is she always like that?” said Owen, amused. Curt made a pained noise. “It’s always worse whenever I bring someone over. Especially girls. She keeps bringing up /grandchildren/,” he says, like someone else might say nuclear warheads. “I think I’ll have to defect and move to Russia.” Owen chuckled lightly at his partner. “She’s not so bad.” “It’s alright for you, all you had to was smile at her and she decided you’re the greatest thing since refrigeratable jellomolds!” Curt complained. “Oh come off it, Curt,” snorted Owen, but the American didn’t let up. “And would you stop flirting with her? That’s my mother, Owen, seriously.” “Flirting,” repeated Owen incredulously. “Oh, jolly hockey sticks,” said Curt, putting on a high pitched mockery of Owen’s accent. “How /delightful/ to meet you, do me the honour of letting me kiss your hand-” he reached for Owen’s wrist, and was swatted away laughingly. “You are impossible,” said Owen, shaking his head. “Jealous of your own mother-”

“I’m not jealous! I just think you’re being-” Owen leant in and kissed Curt, shutting off that train of speech very effectively. Curt started, pushing the other man away. “What are you doing?” He spluttered. “My mom is right-” “Are you a super spy or aren’t you?” Asked Owen, a hint of challenge in his raised eyebrow. “Oh, you are in for it,” growled Curt, grabbing Owen by the collar. Owen smirked, and the American crushed their lips together. Owen’s hands came up to rest at Curt’s neck as tongues danced slickly over teeth and Curt held him firm against his chest. He hummed in pleasure, just as the door opened and Mrs Mega let out a little squeak of suprise. They sprung apart, Curt’s eyes going as wide as the nearby saucers, and Owen awkwardly straightened his shirt. He opened his mouth to try and fabricate some excuse, as Curt was still staring at his mother in horror, but Mrs Mega beat him to it. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll just set these down,” she said, apologetically putting the fresh lemonade jug on the side table. “You two go ahead, don’t let me interrupt-” “Mom!” said Curt, scandalised into snapping out of his shock. “I’m going, I’m going!” she said, throwing up her hands. “You boys have fun now.” And with a truly terrifying wink, she left, humming happily to herself. Owen blinked, stunned. He looked over at Curt, but his partner’s expression was one of despair. “You’ve really gone and done it now,” he mumbled. Owen winced guiltily. “Curt, I’m sorry-” “She was humming the wedding march,” said Curt as though pronouncing a death sentence. “I’m so screwed.”