#age be damned camille would still fuck him

[horrorlesbians]

wait so what year is your so/td fic set in? cus idk why but I was imagining '95 Rust, and while rewatching True detective I realized that the events in sharp objects are happening during old man moustache messy ponytail time

i set the fic in 2015, a little earlier than when the sharp objects show takes place iirc but I didn't want rust to age too much bc I don't think he has a long shelf life lol. so yea it's my babygirl camille and my babygirl old man messy ponytail rust. or as amma calls him ⬇️

[nigrit]

Maximilian Robespierre, Deputy. ‘Incorruptible’. Mountain’s Highly Confidential WhatsApp Group

Wow. What a week, guys! Did you see my speech on virtue and terror the other day. Four pages in the Moniteur, three in the Revolutions de Paris and a special pullout in the Jacobin Club bulletin with a questionnaire ‘how virtuous are you?’ and a special souvenir print. By David. Of me!

Danton: No one reads the JCC anymore since the nutters took over

Camille: I keep a pile by the privy. Looroll’s so expensive these days!

Shade of Jean-Paul: You stole all my best lines. Even your nickname is mine

All: WTF! How did you get on here?

Shade: I am everywhere. I am the eye of the people!

Bertrand: Quick, everyone. Block him! Now!

Shade: you seem to forget, I am the moderator. And I have the password

Bertrand: Moderate! You! Moderate? Ha!

Shade: and you call yourself a writer?! Fucking windvane!

Max: damn! Just ignore him guys. Now as I was saying….

Louis-Antoine: but he can still be useful. You know, the people kind of worship him now

Max: but I want them to worship me! Why won’t they worship me?

All: sniggering

Camille: because you’re not dead?

George: because you’re killing them?

Max: that’s not fair

Camille: would you prefer it in Latin?

Max: et tu Camillus?

Bertrand: (clears throat) c’mon public safety people, we’re getting off the point. So Max, I got your speech translated into English. Found an excellent expat with impeccable credentials, Ms Helen Maria Williams. We’re going to print it up on English type and smuggle it over the Channel to freak them all out and show what a nice guy you really are.

Max: merci BB

Shade: (interrupting) I denounce…

All: blocked!

Shade: … you can all take your worthless block and shove it up your collective arse. I denounce Barere and Ms Williams

Camille: For god’s sake Jean-Paul, get a grip

George: I do not know this individual

Max: me either

Bertrand: is that even proper grammar?

Max: it is now!

George: right, I’m bored. Got to see a man about a property

Camille: can I come?

George: no, no, and always, no! And yes my friends, I shall in future be terrorising my new wife by asking her, ‘are you feeling virtuous tonight?’ You should try it Max, might loosen you up a bit

Camille: he should be so lucky! I feel a song coming on. Red, the sound of ages past, blue the colour of my hair, white the…

All: no!

TBC

#Jean-Paul Marat #Maximilien Robespierre #Bertrand Barere #Camille Desmoulins #Georges Danton #Louis-Antoine Saint-Just #whatsapp satire #French Revolution #Max just needed a big slap #and a hug from time to time #The Mountain #Committee of Public Safety #Jacobin japes

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ur take on a malec beauty and the beast au please

ugh you got me in a difficult position here because on the one hand, i do love the idea of a beauty and the beast malec au. i just think the idea of a socially isolated person who thinks themself/is perceived as monstruous and who has locked away their heart and doesn't believe they could ever be loved fits magnus like a glove. but on the other hand, i don't want to make magnus, a brown character, animalistic, for obvious reasons. and i can't really think of a way to make him monstruous that doesn't fall into animalization/beastification (both racist tropes) or ableist tropes

so i'm thinking... maybe the spell is just that people are repulsed by him/fear him automatically? like it just creates this horrible almost impossible to ignore repulsive/fear/"fight or flight activating" aura around him for absolutely no reason and makes ppl be repulsed and/or hate him. even if it doesn't change his appearance at all. it's not really a changing or shifting spell, more like a spell of hatred

which like.... i know doesn't sound like anything poc/queer people don't already go through but there is a main difference which is that it makes it impossible to find a community. like even other brown and queer people look at him and feel this... huge disgust and even fear and might even hide and so the isolation is absolutely total and it fucking hurts. and besides it is one thing (a very bad thing) to walk around and have to be on constant alert because you never know if someone is going to be violent, and have to deal with occasional comments and disgusted reactions... it's another to consistently have like, children screaming and people cowering 100% of the time without exception, you know? he's basically living the life ppl with social anxiety think they live and he has nowhere to turn to, no one who understands or who's more likely to actually want to talk to him because of his differences. there's no one to lean on. even the people who love him aren't immune to it, even if of course they are not turning their backs on him

so anyway here are my thoughts: this was totally done by camille lol beacuse the whole backstory about being mean to an elderly lady doesn't fit magnus anyway and also i just like sprinkling camille angst where i can. so after magnus finally got himself free of her and her stupid claws she hexxed him back into isolation. both as punishment (a kinda "if you don't want me, then you have no one" logic) and just to make him more vulnerable because again, abusers want you alone and isolated and away from a support network so you are more dependant on them and more likely to buy into their thwarped logic if they can immerse you in it. so she's just trying to manipulate him into getting back with her, because she wants him and most of all his power

and basically you know the drill, if he doesn't find anyone who will love him romantically until the rose withers yada yada he will die. and again she just wants to make the spell so it constantly drives home how alone he is and how he can't find anyone who will love him (except for her), and make it so he's more and more likely to come back to her as time goes by because then the spell will be broken

(sidenote: camille obviously doesn't actually love him, because anyone who does that to someone doesn't love them. but as the one who cast the spell, she can lift it whenever she wants. so all she has to do is kiss him and lift the spell and be like "see, magnus? who else would love you like this, but me? even after all these years?". and honestly if it had come to that magnus would know she was lying because there is no way this is love, none. but anyway it doesn't come to that, that's just what her plan is)

anyway it still doesn't work because magnus is done and he won't get back to her, and he particularly doesn't want to get back with her after, you know, all this trashfire. and he just sets his jaw and is like "fine" and accepts that he will live however long he still has with his friends and people he loves and away from her, basically

and like gosh sidenote but this would have been so painful for his friends. camille very deliberately made it romantic love because she knows magnus has so many fucking people who love him, but him and the immortal squad have found family dynamics, not romantic ones. so there is nothing they can do even though their love for magnus is just... so real and pure and they hate to see him like this, hate to know that right when he finally got rid of her she made sure he still couldn't go out in the world. especially since magnus has always been so damn sociable, loved to be surrounded by people and to meet them and care for them. but here he is, walking as hidden as he can and with his head down avoiding eye contact because he knows the horror is there and some children run away screaming when they see him

and i just picture this desperate little scene with raphael in particular where he's just like.... "i'll try to kiss you. we have to try" and magnus is all, "my boy, you don't even like kissing, and she was very adamant that it had to be romantic" and raphael is almost in tears like "but i do love you, goddamn it! i should be able to undo this spell" and it's so sweet that he's trying and willing to be in this really awkward position where he kisses (yikes) magnus (which is just weird especially since magnus is kind of a father figure to him) because he's just... so desperate to have him free of her, finally, once and for all, you know?

but obviously it doesn't work, not even with dot, who had a kinda fling with him in the past but doesn't really feel Romantic Love™ for him even though she does love him, it's just... not what the spell requires. and it's unfair as hell and there are lots of tears but just the fact that magnus falls asleep surrounded in a teary cuddle pile after some of the absolute worst kisses of his life because his friends/family love him enough to put themselves in such an uncomfortable position in the hopes of making him free, is enough to make him feel a little better. and the fact that they are still there for him and obviously still love him so fiercely even though looking at him now literally evokes fight or flight instincts in them is already more than anything camille could ever give him. if anything, she's proven how loved magnus is

and that helps him get through it that day and is something he tries to hold unto in the worst days, but still, it's hard and it just... sucks. it's tiring to go out in the street and always have people staring at you and to see the horror in their faces and be so isolated and never really know what might happen, if he will be attacked or harrassed or what exactly will happen. so he isolates himself more and more and soon the only people who ever see him or visit him are his friends. and fuck, do they hate seeing him like this

things settle in a weird kind of way. magnus is still living his life and working as a wizard and etc and in a way the spell even helps him have some more credibility because you know, isolated scary person is kinda what ppl expect from wizards. but he avoids having contact at all costs and mostly sends the potions they request and stuff their way, and the only ppl he sees are his friends unless he absolutely can't avoid going outside. and he's fucking miserable. and every once in a while camille will come back to be like "so, magnus, are you ready to stop with this little tantrum of yours and come back to me now? how is the rose doing, by the way?" because god forbid he catches a break

also it turns out that magnus' adoptive streak becomes even stronger because he is 1- extra lonely; and 2- empathizing more than ever with the outcasts. don't get me wrong, he always has, he's a fucking brown, bi trans man for fuck's sake. we all see ourselves in the stray dogs and lonely people one way or another. but now this is turned up to a thousand, so, you know

so he has one (1) extra kind of contact in his life which is basically with stray animals (particularly cats cuz u know, this is magnus) that he finds around in need of help. they can all leave if they want, but a lot of them stay, particularly the black cats, disabled animals, and others that have a particularly hostile environment outside. you know

(not me again with my very specific hcs about deaf pitbulls who fall in love with my faves but LOOK pitbulls are very sweet and caring animals who don't deserve the fame of monsters that they have and if the idea of one being best friend's with magnus and them having a loving and caring relationship doesn't appeal to you then idk what the fuck to tell you)

this of course doesn't help his image cuz this guy is just going there and collecting black cats and snakes and has a huge pitbull around with him at all times but it's not like it can get any worse so magnus doesn't care, and besides, he can't just leave them out to die in the cold and harrassment of middle ages white ppl who think black cats are the worst possible thing but rats carrying deadly diseases are fine (and look, i know rats are also animals that get a lot of shit and persecution, but like, seriously, clean the streets)

and every once in a while there will be a person in need too, like a homeless person in need of a place to stay or some sick person who has been abandoned or something of the sort, so magnus brings them in as well and cares for them as well as he can, but also tries to maintain minimal contact because he's been burned too many times, okay

so like, cue alec! i know in the original BATB belle ended up with the beast to save her father's life but fuck that. i lowkey consider making it "izzy ran away from home so alec comes after her and they both end up staying with magnus" but i think i like it better if it's just alec who decided to leave. like he's done with the abuse both towards him and his sister and he wants to be able to live his life even if he's gonna have to start over in some other village all alone. anywhere but here and all that

and of course alec used to be plenty rich and he has a lot of skills that help him pass by - he's a good archer and hunter, he's a good leader and organizer so he could do wonders for a failing business, he's smart and cunning - but he also has, like, 2 gold coins to his name. maybe some more from stuff he took from home and sold, but still

initially he is living at a tavern and i guess i'm making simon, raphael, and maia tavern owners again! i don't even care anymore, it suits them. rapha is the cook and the three of them run the business and simon also makes musical appearances during dinners every once in a while, and they are living the happy queer polyamorous life of their dreams. we have no choice but to stan

anyway alec is staying with them and he becomes friends with i think maia in particular since, you know, she is the one with the most contact with the customers since rapha is in the kitchen and simon is up the stage most of the time. plus they are both the same brand of bastard and they have an easy understanding between them that just works

and look! simon, raphael, and maia are 3 trans, non-christian/non-white (unnecessary addendum: the concept of whiteness didn't exist until around the 17th century, but whiteness as a concept came basically as a substitute for christianity [link to source], so i'm counting the fact that simon is jewish and raphael and maia are not culturally european as equivalent to non-whiteness in this context) people, so it's not like they would ever kick a gay man running from an abusive home out. but you know what they also are? magnus' friends. and after a while of talking to him maia thinks he is trustworthy enough for them to send magnus' way, because magnus needs as many friends as possible. plus, he wouldn't kick a person in need out, so unlike with them magnus can't really push this newcomer away so he'd have more company. plus, the possibility that he might fall in love with magnus and undo the stupid spell is there, i'm just saying! i'm not saying it WILL happen but why not give it a fucking shot?

raphael in particular is of course super protective of magnus and he swears to god that if this guy gives him half a bad look raphael will end him, which earns him some pats on the shoulder for his troubles and "rapha, we don't want magnus to be hurt either"s. maia says that she's been assessing him for quite a while now and she's pretty positive that he won't be terrible to magnus, but if she's wrong, she'll kill him personally too. and rapha trusts maia. how could he not? she's maia

so, they send alec magnus' way. "i'm sorry alec, but we are struggling to make ends meet *hides gigantic gold stash* and the tavern is packed *raphael upstairs stomps at maximum speed to make it seem like their 13 empty rooms upstairs actually have people* and we really need your room to give to this customer *simon in a wig* BUT we have a friend who we're sure will give you shelter if you ask, it's not very far away, and once we have a free room we will let you know". and alec is just like, okay, because he's been staying there for free or considerably less than the usual fee/in exchange for some stuff he hunts for quite a while now, and they are nice, so it's not like he can complain

and they don't tell him about the spell exactly because it is not their story to tell but they do let him know what to expect re: magnus' vibes and say it's a spell. and alec's like ok i guess. alec's very practical, he doesn't really care, and it's not like it's the guy's fault anyway. which is exactly why maia is sending alec there

so they send magnus a heads up ("magnus this guy is HOMELESS and we are SOOOOO packed can you please give him shelter for a little while thx xoxo"). alec arrives there a while later carrying like 3 prime rabbits he has hunted as a thank you gift because he hates being dependant on people but it's not like jobs abound in the middle ages, and he is actually a little embarrassed to go in and ask this guy he doesn't know for shelter but he IS kinda desperate. for now

anyway he is standing there with his 3 rabbits debating whether or not to knock on the door and magnus just opens it magically like "i know you're there, dear, just come in" so alec does and awkwardly presents him the rabbits and shit and is all "thanks for letting me stay, uh. i can help you with food and taking care of the house and stuff" even though, you know, magnus has magic and doesn't need it

(and magnus appreciates it deeply, because it is tiring to do it all magically on his own but most non-magical people don't even consider that)

and like... it is very awkward at first because magnus does NOT trust at all and he mostly just wants to keep away from anyone who can... look at him. but they ARE living together (oh my god they were roommates!! just kidding they each have their own room but you get it) so it's inevitable. but like magnus' insecurity makes him keep to himself for long times and makes things awkward, kinda like how the initial days with the beast and belle the beast was rude and kinda shitty except magnus is not shitty, just... private

and maybe the subject even comes up like "thanks for the meal alec. i'll go eat it in my room" "i mean, you could eat here if you want" "and ruin your appetite? no thank you" and alec is just like "*shrug* it won't ruin my appetite. unless you are my parents, the concept of failure, or some girl wanting me to marry her, i don't think there's a lot the spell can do to make me scared. besides, you literally have a kitten on top of your head right now and you refuse to remove it and are using a spell to keep her from jostling when you move" "her name is Fluffy, and she is sleeping!" "right, my bad" "wait did you say the concept of failure?" "yea"

it's not that the spell doesn't work on alec; it does, just like it works on his friends. but he is willing to go beyond that initial repulsive reaction that he knows is illogical anyway (and alec is the kind of guy who is just like "if my feelings aren't logical, i don't listen to them" which in this case is useful lmao). and the thing is that once you get to know magnus there is nothing about him that is scary, and the feeling just becomes completely ignorable, because humans are nothing if not adaptable. but most people don't want to go through the trouble to try, and magnus himself doesn't want to let himself be vulnerable enough to give them a chance because there IS a great chance that he will be met with some level of aggression, even if it's an unintentional microaggression

and eventually they grow closer and build trust. i think this happens particularly when camille steps in for one of her regularly schedule shoving-it-in-magnus'-face visits and alec is just like. "hey why don't you just use magic to keep her away?" and magnus realizes that he never even THOUGHT of that and like, jesus, how much has he been unconsciously torturing himself? so he does it, and he ends up telling alec about the story of the spell, which might be the first time he's told someone that didn't know him before the spell was cast

(alec: "so she's basically just killing you slowly?" magnus: "don't be silly, alexander. torturing me first is the most important part". and he sounds self deprecating and almost resigned and god alec feels murderous)

ohh but wait bonus: magnus says that she will only undo the spell if he gets back with her, he doesn't mention that it technically can be undone by romantic love or whatever bullshit's going on because he doesn't believe it can happen anyway, so, who cares

anyway! time goes by. fun fact: alec and magnus get along really fucking well. magnus is so so smart and knowledgeable and he shows alec many of his inventions that never got to see the light of day or that were stolen by someone else who wasn't cursed and took all the credit. he also fascinates alec with his magic, but mostly with his personality. there's something just endlessly endearing about this guy who is so fucking proud of his puns and so so nice and gentle to every creature he encounters, be it a kitten or a pitbull, who's letting alec stay with him for no reason other than that alec needs it

and alec is so goddamn appreciative of it because like he IS and we stan! and he's always trying to give back to magnus which is kind of a rarity, but most of all he's also extremely funny beneath the whole no-bullshit attitude, he's caring and fierce and resourceful and strong (so's magnus) and they click so well. they can also talk about their similar experiences with like, abuse and trauma without making it super heavy and they're just,,, so supportive of each other. so like yeah surprise surprise they fall in love

but they don't really say anything because (on magnus' part) that's just fucking ridiculous, he's a monster; and (on alec's part) he will put magnus is a way too uncomfortable position if magnus doesn't like him that way and they will just... be living together. and magnus will feel like he has to compensate to alec somehow and alec doesn't want that. it's just complicated when one of them is dependant on the other, and besides, alec has had very little to offer magnus so far

(no, he has no idea how much his company means to magnus and has brighted his depressed ass life. he is stupid)

sometimes magnus' friends visit and they're always just so happy for him, to see how he's hanging out more and let someone into his life after so long. it earns him a lot of forehead kisses and "i'm so happy to see you like this". and over time he starts to invite them over more as well as just open up back to the people in his life :')

angsty but also kind of fluffy sidenote: i picture that every time they kiss his forehead or cheek or whatever they linger for a little while and then open their eyes slowly and sigh like "i had been hoping that it would work this time. magnus, you know i love you, right?" and magnus is all like "i know just from you saying that, darling. it's just not how the spell works" and aaa

and like to be extra clear im not saying that alec fixes him or romantic love heals him or whatever, just that having let someone in, someone who didn't know him before the spell, and have them completely accept him and realize how much he had been missing out re: touch and human contact helps him realize how much he misses his friends and how pushing them away is stupid when they've never been anything if not supportive of him. they don't care that he's cursed. and obviously magnus was already on the way to that if he even managed to let alec in anyway

anyway! dramatic healing scene. LOOK. usually i'd be all for "they don't change back actually because people don't have to look beautiful to be lovable". like the original BATB disappointed me sooo badly because i had just been hoping that he'd stay the same way and still be loved. but in this case it's not that magnus doesn't look beautiful! it's that the spell has made him be hated by people for no reason other than existing. and breaking the spell is not changing magnus himself, it's changing that hatred. so, yeah. i'm not saying it's a deep metaphor or anything, just, you know daudhasdja it's different from the usual monster thing

and i'm torn here because on the one hand i LOVE the drama of the original BATB where everyone decides to gather to kill the beast and belle saves him and shit, but idk if it fits with the vibe ive been building here. no actually @ me shut the fuck up. you know how i mentioned that they kick camille out with magic finally? i actually had no intentions of following through with this in any way but like of COURSE she would be absolutely pissed out of her mind and want to get back in some way, we already know she's vindictive. so i'm gonna use that. this is what neil gailman meant when he said that writing is just making a rough draft and then writing it again but like it's on purpose this time

anyway! so after they yeet her camille is obviously furious and fuming and it might have finally dawned on her that magnus will NOT fucking cave and she is losing power over him, not gaining it. so she decides to play a last card and get him to almost die so he kind of HAS to take her bid, you know? so she makes up some shit about how magnus has kidnapped the lightwood heir and she's only now hearing about it, and no one else is safe and yada yada. and she has "proof" because alec IS indeed there and again the spell just helps everyone easily agree with her that magnus is That Kind Of Guy or whatever, and middle ages ppl weren't exactly waiting for a good enough reason to grab their pitchforks. and they don't even KNOW about the spell, really. all they know is that he's very powerful, secluded, and they all fear and almost hate him just from one look

so camille makes up some bullshit story about how he made a deal with the devil to become extra powerful, and that the source of his powers is the rose, so they have to get rid of the rose to kill him. (sidenote: i never understood why the hell the rose was never used as a weakness against the beast. like was he keeping it super guarded and safe just for the fucking shits?) so they devise an attack so someone can sneak up and get the rose, and camille makes up some bullshit story about how they have to destroy the rose a specific way so it takes longer and she has time to manipulate magnus before he dies. man, it's easy to be a villain when your target is secluded

anyway! big attack at magnus' house. magnus' friends don't hear about it until it's too late because camille knows exactly who they are and warned them that they were on "the witch's" side. alec is maybe away hunting when it happens? camille obviously has magic in this AU so she can check for that information. maybe she even says that she will be the one responsible for finding the lightwood heir so there is minimal risk of him revealing that she lied lmao

oh no, violence! they battle and yada yada. catarina is probably the first one to realize what is happening because i figure she, madzie, and dot are the ones who live closest to magnus'. they send fire messages and get ragnor, simon, maia, raphael, and meliorn to help. oh yeah, and alec i genuinely forgot trust me to forget about romance in a romance-focused au. but alec is the only one of them without any magical resources and he's far away and on foot, so he's gonna be the last to get there, which camille had been counting on

but alec or no alec, they can keep the attackers at bay because they're all powerful and smart and shit and a lot of them have magic as opposed to the mundanes who don't, but of course that's mostly because they are holding off on attacking and the invasion is mostly a distraction because their PLAN is to use the rose. and camille tells them all to leave once the petal puckering starts so she can "protect them from any lashouts" (have her big villain speech). and it's not like any of magnus' friends is gonna leave to go after them when magnus is dying, bUT they also won't attack camille because she's his only hope. and they won't be able to get to stop the rose plucking in time because that's in another room and while she made it slower than something that the person can use to kill him in a second it's also not slow enough for them to get there on time (maybe there's a spell against magic use near where magnus keeps the rose? just for extra safety, so the ones with magic can't portal there or whatever)

anyway. big villain speech. magnus screams in pain every time a new petal is plucked. his friends are either running to the rose thing desperately or trying to get camille to stop this madness, she's going to kill him for fuck's sake. i don't know which chooses to do what so you can figure that out i guess. and for that extra drama, right when the last petal was going to be plucked, wee woo alec lightwood arrives! and he went straight for the rose because magnus had told him about it and he figured that there was a good chance the attackers might go for it. so he shoots the person's leg or something and gets them away from the rose and yay, day saved! mostly. because now there is only one petal left to fall before magnus dies, so at the very least, his lifespan has been shortened considerably. also, he is still in pain

i'm torn about what happens to camille then. on the one hand, i love killing camille! bonding activities for the whole family. on the other, she kinda is the only one who can save him now. they all know magnus won't want to get back with her, but hey, it's not like camille wants a relationship! she wants magnus to be her asset. a relationship was just the best way to get him to do that she had initially. but magnus doesn't want to cave and be dependant of her, so, you know. but maybe they can try to convince her to stop this fucking madness, god knows how

so okay yeah no camille-killing yet because they don't want to jeopardize magnus' safety, so she just leaves convinced that either way, she wins, and this might be the best possible scenario actually because magnus will have lots of times to think it over and be real desperate and come to her and strike a deal. so, yay her! she just needs to lie to the mundanes that the mission was successful or whatever, and it's not like that's gonna be hard because magnus won't want to be seen there again, so

we are all running to check up on magnus now. he's kinda like, on the ground coughing blood, but he'll live for as long as the last rose doesn't fall. still, they all settle on trying to help him, getting him in bed, tending to his wounds, etc. and thinking about what the fuck they are all going to do now. so you have raphael and maia making magnus soup, simon running his mouth as he throws around ideas on how they can fix this, ragnor, cat, dot, and madzie (who is here now that the danger is over ofc) checking and rechecking magnus' vitals for the billionth time and trying to figure out how much time they have, meliorn using their fae powers to stop his pain. and madzie is all snuggled in bed with magnus holding his hand and asking if he wants her to tell him a bedtime story, and magnus just... feels cared for and loved

alec meanwhile i think would tell what ACTUALLY happened to the person who was doing the rose thing - i actually have thought about it and think it might make sense for it to be luke. just because i love him and it kinda fits the whole "initially sided with shadowhunters, lately became a downworlder" thing. and like luke genuinely believed he was saving a person/people so alec brings him in too and magnus is all "catarina, dear, can you help heal his leg? i would, but i don't think i have enough magic right now" because he is the sweetest man immediately wanting to help the guy who almost killed him. and luke is in awe

(and alec brings him on purpose, too, because he knows that anyone who actually talks to magnus for a little while will see what an amazing person he is. and he hopes that luke, as a mundane, can tell the others that and turn them against camille)

and after that, of course, alec sits down by magnus' side and Does Not Leave. he's just there holding his hand and talking to him and magnus' friends, who are all also kind of. sitting there, trying to snuggle up in a gigantic pile of like 10 ppl to cuddle close to magnus and make sure he feels loved and cared for and that they know he is real. madzie gets special privileges in that sense because she's smaller and also a kid, so she gets to be kinda snuggled up with him. so alec has to be content with holding magnus' hand lmao (which he is, he's just happy that he's alive and okay. and he has a whole plan to get camille to undo the spell, mostly involving getting the mundanes against her and telling her that she is only safe for as long as magnus lives, because once he dies, she will have a bunch of ppl who will hunt her down to the faces of the earth to make her pay for what she did to him. the only reason they didn't do that yet is because she can still save magnus' live, so is she really going to let him die knowing that she will be next?)

so alec takes his hand and tells magnus that they will fix this, he promises, and give a little kiss on magnus' hand. just a little peck, no deep intentions, but magnus gasps a little because he feels something, and his eyes water a little bit because he's so touch starved and tired and hurt and alec kissed his hand and he can feel this kind of ache inside him, somehow a good ache, but he just can't explain it. and so alec notices his watery eyes and he very tenderly wipes his tears away and tells him that they're all on his side, will always be, and kisses him on the forehead. and this kiss? this kiss is full of adoration and love and purpose, and magnus gasps and the wounds that hadn't been healed suddenly mend together, and the petals that had fallen go back to the rose before it disappears in a beautiful flash of light, and suddenly magnus' magic is back full force and he just looks at himself for a second, and everyone erupts into joy because holy shit, the spell is broken

and alec is so confused because again! he didn't kNOW about the whole true love's kiss thing or he would have asked magnus to let him kiss him as soon as he learnt about his feelings, because even if magnus didn't feel the same way, alec could undo the spell. and he's like "why the hell didn't you tell me?? we could have fixed this months ago" and magnus is like "i didn't think it would make a difference. wait, you're in love with me? have been for months?" and alec is like "first of all, yes. second of all, i have nothing else to say, i just said 'first of all' because i was so indignant"

and magnus laughs and jumps on him and kisses him on the mouth this time and they are both smiling and laughing into it and so so happy. and raphael is kind of just peppering kisses on maia's face too, like, "you were right, he undid the spell, thank you" and maia was never sure that this would happen but she will take the credit actually please and thank you

and they all live happily ever after and kill camille together the end i guess. god this post was so long i'm so sorry

[camillemontespan]

ten years from now [AU. drake walker x camille montespan] [part four: coffee & whiskey]

Master List if you want to catch up

Warnings: Mention of pill misuse.

@moonlightgem7​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @mskaneko​ @ibldw-main​ @katedrakeohd​ @pug-bitch​ @gooddaykate​ @princessleac1​ @burnsoslow​  @loveellamae​  @pedudley​ @oofchoices​ @emichelle​ @simplymissjulia​ @dcbbw​ @sirbeepsalot​ @rainbowsinthestorm​ @notoriouscs​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @addictedtodrakefanfic​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @nomadics-stuff​ 

*************************************************************

Camille climbed into the pick up truck and gave Drake a warm smile. 'Morning Walker.' 

Drake smirked. 'Morning Montespan.' 

He began to drive down the dirt road leading towards town. As Camille settled into her seat, she looked around the vehicle. 'I see you're still driving Betsy.' 

Drake grinned. 'What can I say? Longest relationship I've had in my life.' 

Camille became painfully aware of the memories that this pick up truck contained. It was Drake's first motor after he passed his test. He had driven the two of them everywhere, eager to be on the road as much as possible. Even then, Drake wanted freedom. 

Camille remembered getting high with Drake in this truck. 

She remembered the time when Drake had to brake hard to avoid a collision with a reckless driver. He had shouted obscenities out the window. 

She remembered Drake trying to teach her how to drive in this truck and the arguments that ensued because Camille couldn't work the stick. 

She remembered the summer nights after they had lost their virginities, spending hours in the backseat with her legs around his waist, ignoring the tight space of the vehicle as Drake fucked her hard. 

As soon as that thought entered her head, Camille turned red and pushed it out of her mind. 

They made small talk as Drake drove closer to town. He parked up on Valtoria Boulevard and the two of them got out the truck, leaving behind the memories. 

The coffee shop they chose was cosy and served the best coffee in the whole of Applewood. Camille chose a table by the window while Drake got their coffees. 

'Skinny cappuccino with an extra shot, right?' he asked her. 

Camille blinked. 'How do you remember that?' 

Drake shrugged. 'Good memory, I guess.' 

****************************

Conversation was easy. They sat opposite each other and listened as the other described what they had been doing. Drake listened as Camille told him that she was a paralegal at a prestigious law firm called Pearl and Goldfinch. The pay was mediocre but she adored her work. She lived in an apartment in Soho with Liam, who worked on Wall Street. After they got married, they were planning to move into a bigger place near the park. Camille wanted a dog but Liam wasn't keen on animals. 

'What kind of person doesn't like animals?!' Drake cried, mock horrified. 

'Evil ones!' Camille shot back, giggling. 'All I want is a cute dog like Clover. Do you still have Clover?' 

Drake shook his head. 'She died two years ago.' 

Camille's face fell. 'I'm sorry Drake.. I know how much you loved that dog.' 

Drake sighed. 'She was a good dog. Loyal.'

Camille raised her coffee cup in the air. 'To Clover,' she said. 'The best damn dog in the world.' 

Drake clinked his cup against hers, smiling as he did so. They sipped their coffee until Camille began to speak.

'Drake, can I ask you a question?' 

'Sure.' 

Camille bit her lip and cast her eye down. 'What.. What happened with you?' 

Drake laughed dryly. 'Quite a broad question, Montespan..' 

'You just stopped talking to me,' Camille said quickly, eager to get this tricky subject out of the way. 'What happened? Did you just decide you didn't want to be with me anymore?' 

Drake closed his eyes. 'Camille..' 

'Just be honest,' Camille told him. 'I won't get upset, it's in the past. I just want to know.'

Drake sighed and opened his eyes. Hers were steady on his. God, she had beautiful eyes. They were her best feature. 

'You deserve to know,' Drake finally said. 'Can I start this by saying I'm sorry? Like, so fucking sorry.' 

Camille smiled sadly. 'I know. Just talk to me. Please.' 

So Drake started to talk. 

***************************

Drake aged 18, Camille aged 17

Drake was alone in his room. It was Saturday night and he should have been out on campus drinking with his buddies but tonight, he didn't feel up to it. He was feeling low again. 

He scrolled through Facebook, reading all the statuses about how everyone was living their best life in college. They were achieving good grades while balancing the parties and seminars. They were owning the world. College was so much better than high school. Here, they could forge their own identities and make something of themselves. 

Everyone except Drake. 

All he had done today was get up at noon, eat ramen for breakfast, binge watched Parks and Recreation, jerked himself off to a porno and napped. Now it was 8pm and he was torturing himself by scrolling through social media and the endless pictures of his fellow students living it up. 

He came across Camille's profile. She had updated her status an hour earlier with a photo of her and a redheaded girl. They were raising shot glasses in the air and pouting to the camera. 

'IT'S THE FREAKING WEEKEND BABY, I'LL DRINK TO THAT!' Camille had written. It had 30 likes and 10 comments, many of them from creepy guys saying how hot she was. 

Drake could see that Camille had typed a reply to them, saying she had a boyfriend. 

Drake was the boyfriend. 

But he was beginning to even doubt himself on that. He hadn't seen Camille in two months. Yes, they lived on opposite side of the country now. Their lack of communication wasn't her fault, far from it. She had tried to Skype him but Drake ignored her. The last time they Skyped, Drake hadn't said much. He had listened to Camille tell him about her classes and her favourite teachers- Camille actually enjoyed learning. 

Drake felt he had nothing to contribute. He wasn't doing well in his studies, he didn't take part in extracurricular activities and he only had two friends. 

As he looked through more of Camille's Facebook, he was beginning to feel left behind. She was doing so well and he was so happy for her, but it was hard to feel good about himself when things weren't working out for him here. 

He had the nagging feeling that he brought her down. Who wanted a boyfriend who slept in late and ate ramen for breakfast? Who wanted a boyfriend who was failing his degree? 

She had texted him asking her to call her. He left her message on read. 

Drake was that asshole. 

He was contemplating scoring some weed from the guy upstairs when his phone rang. Drake glanced at the screen. It was his mom. 

'Hey mom.' 

He could hear heavy breathing on the other end of line. 

'Mom?' 

'Drake..' 

Bianca didn't sound right. She sounded breathless and scared.  Drake was up on his feet, instantly alert. 'Mom, what's wrong?' 

'Oh baby.. I.. I had to call you. I need to talk to you. So much..' 

Her voice was slurring. Drake could tell she had been drinking. 

'Mom, are you drunk?' 

'Maybe.. Baby.. My baby.'

Drake closed his eyes. He knew Bianca had been struggling since Savannah had upped and left. He had been a good son and regularly called her, but he knew it wasn't enough. 

Bianca exhaled. 'The pills I got in the cupboard are starting to look real friendly..' 

Drake's heart began to hammer. He could feel his body shaking. 'Mom, leave them. Don't touch them, they're bad for you.' 

'I just wanna sleep, baby..' 

'Mom,' Drake's voice was raised now, a warning. 'I'm calling Gisele. You shouldn't be alone right now.' 

'I'm fine,' Bianca said, her voice sounding far away. 'I just need to sleep and then I'll feel better tomorrow.' 

'Mom, I swear to god, stay away from those pills,' Drake warned her, his voice trembling. 

There was a silence until Bianca broke it. 'I just feel so lonely, baby,' she whispered. 'You're at college, Savannah is somewhere doing god knows what.. Your daddy's gone. I just feel so alone.' Her voice was thick now. Drake could tell she was starting to cry. 

'Mom, I'm calling Gisele to come see you,' he told her. 'And then I'm booking the first flight home and we're going to fix this, alright?' 

'But college-' 

'Fuck college,' Drake interrupted. 'Now go watch TV. I'm calling Gisele. I'll see you as soon as I can.' 

Drake hung up and called Camille's grandmother who quickly ran to the Walker Ranch to be with Bianca. 

Drake booked the next flight to Austin. 

Drake boarded the plane the following day. 

Drake ignored Camille's calls because he was busy looking after his mom. 

Drake stopped talking to Camille. 

Drake focused on bringing his mother back to life while maintaining the ranch in good working order. Life happened. 

Drake and Camille's relationship faded. 

Drake and Camille didn't speak again. 

************************

Camille had gone pale. Drake sipped his coffee after his long monologue, waiting for her response. 

'If I'd known you were struggling.. That Bianca was struggling..' Camille whispered. 'I'd have -' 

'What? Flown back to Texas?' Drake interrupted. 'Nah, Camille. It was my problem, my shit.' 

'You could have talked to me,' Camille said. 'I'd have listened.' 

Drake shrugged. 'You were having a great time. I didn't want to bring you down.' 

Camille set down her cup and looked at him seriously. 'Drake. I wasn't having a great time.' 

Drake frowned. 'Your photos..' 

'Jesus, do you believe everything you see on social media?' Camille burst out. 'All those photos were a smoke screen. While I was posting pictures of me partying, I was actually hating life. I was stressed from studying, constantly worrying I would fail my essays, worrying I wasn't fun enough or interesting enough. I had a boyfriend on the other side of the country who was ignoring me so I worried I had done something wrong. I worried constantly. I couldn't eat. All I wanted was to talk to you but you ignored me. I felt awful, Drake.'

Drake was staring at her in shock. ' I didn't realise, Camille.. ' he murmured. 

Camille shrugged now. 'I hid it well. It seems you're talented at that too.' 

Drake sighed and shook his head. 'We're a bunch of fucking idiots, aren't we?' 

Camille laughed, lightness drifting back between them. 'We really are. God. Who knows what would have happened if we had just been honest and kept being there for each other?' 

The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She felt instant regret as she saw Drake turn pale. They were back to being awkward now. Great. 

Drake sipped his coffee. It had gone cold. 

They paid the bill soon after and got back into the truck. Drake drove in silence as Camille looked out the window, cursing herself. 

They reached Camille's grandmother's house. Camille cleared her throat. 'Thanks for catching up with me,' she said, the first words she had spoken in the fifteen minute drive. 'It's nice we can talk now without awkwardness.' 

Camille realised that came out as the most sarcastic comment she could have said. Drake sighed and turned off the ignition. 

'Camille, don't get out yet.' 

Camille frowned, confused. 'Why?' 

Drake swallowed. His hands were clenching the wheel tightly, turning his knuckles white. 'My one regret is leaving you,' he finally said, choking on his words. 'Not because we were in a relationship. Because you were my best friend. I'm always gonna regret that.'

Camille wrung her hands together. They felt clammy. 'It's okay,' she said. 'I get it. You had a lot of shit to deal with. It's water under the bridge.' 

She turned to open the door and jumped when she felt Drake's hand touch her arm. She looked over her shoulder to see him looking down at his hand on her skin. His touch burned. 

Drake quickly pulled his hand away. 

Camille smiled weakly and turned to face him. 'Okay, let's start over,' she said. 'New page. You're coming to my wedding. We've sorted out our crap. It's fine. Let's just.. be normal. Stop tip toeing around each other.'

Drake nodded. 'Sounds good.' 

Camille grinned and Drake's heart warmed. 'I'll see you soon,' she said. 

She opened the door. 

It came out like word vomit, but this time not from Camille. 

'Do you wanna come over for dinner on Saturday?' Drake burst out. 

Camille stopped, frozen. She bit her lip. 'I'd love to,' she said, haltingly. 'But I don't want Liam to feel like I'm ignoring him..' 

'He's invited too!' Drake said, unable to stop this word vomit. What the fuck was he doing? 

Camille wrinkled her nose, thinking hard about the pros and cons of this invitation. Drake waited, wishing he could uninvite her. 

'I guess it would be nice for him to get to know you,' Camille finally said. 'Okay. See you Saturday.' 

'7pm,' Drake said. 'I'll cook.' 

Drake hadn't cooked in months. What the fuck was he gonna cook? 

Camille smiled now. 'I'll bring the whiskey.' 

Drake laughed despite himself. 'Good girl.' 

Camille gave him a wink and clambered out of the truck, leaving Drake to think about what he just done. 

Why had he invited her for dinner? Why did he invite Liam? Why did he say he would cook? Why did he make stupid decisions? 

As he watched Camille walk up the path to the house, she turned to wave at him. 

Drake sighed. 

Because it was Camille. That was why he made stupid decisions. 

*******************************************

Camille dropped her necklace and swore. She was sat at the vanity, trying to get ready but her shaking hands were preventing her from making progress. Liam sat on the edge of the bed, watching her with a warm smile on his face. 

‘Need some help?’ he asked.

Camille sighed. ‘Please.’

Liam chuckled and moved to take the necklace. He gently locked it around her throat before pressing a kiss on her bare shoulder.  His eyes met hers in the mirror. ‘You look stunning,’ he said. 

Camille blushed. She was wearing a simple black LBD with black stilettos. Her hair was loose around her shoulders. Was she too dressed up for dinner at the Walkers? Perhaps. But years of living in New York, working in a high powered job and being with Liam had refined her style.

‘I’m ready,’ she said. Liam took her hand and led her downstairs. ‘I’ll get the wine,’ he said.

‘No no, bring the whiskey!’ Camille corrected him. 

Liam stared at her in surprise. ‘Uh.. you like whiskey?’

Camille smiled. ‘We’re going to the Walkers. We gotta bring whiskey. And yeah, I’m partial to whiskey.’

Liam didn’t protest but he did find it odd how he kept finding out new things about Camille while they were here. It unsettled him. He should know these things about his fiancee, regardless of how insignificant these details were. She knew everything about him. 

Camille gave him a wide grin and Liam pushed the thoughts out of his mind. 

*************************************************

‘Well don’t you look gorgeous!’ Bianca cried, pulling Camille in for a hug. 

Liam shook Drake’s hand as the women oohed and ahhed. ‘Good to see you again,’ he said warmly. 

Drake smiled. ‘Likewise.’

His eyes darted to Camille who gave him a smile and held out the bottle of whiskey. He grinned and reached out to take the bottle; their fingers brushed, sending a jolt of electricity through Drake. 

‘Ready to get the party started?’ Camille asked, raising an eyebrow.

Drake smirked. ‘Always. Come through to the garden, we’re having a barbeque.’

As Bianca took Liam’s coat and locked him into conversation by the front door, Drake and Camille wandered outside. Glasses were set up on the table; Drake took one and poured Camille a measure of whiskey. ‘Ice?’ he asked.

‘Please.’

Drake deposited two ice cubes into the glass and poured one for himself. He held up his glass and looked at Camille.

‘To Clover?’ he suggested.

Camille laughed and clinked her glass against his. 

‘To Clover.’

As they sipped their drinks, their eyes stayed fixed on each other over the rims of their glasses. They swallowed the burning amber liquid that blazed like fire through their veins, lighting the match, stoking the fire between them. 

Drake tore his eyes away first. 

‘Good whiskey,’ he said, his voice cracking.

Camille nodded. ‘I know you like the best.’

Drake swallowed hard, aware of her eyes on him. ‘Top up?’ he asked.

Camille held out her glass. Drake reached out to hold the glass as he poured the whiskey, his fingers pressing against hers. Camille bit her lip at the intimacy of his touch; Drake’s eyes focused on her mouth, unable to look away.

‘Wow, you guys getting drunk already?!’ Bianca called out, entering the garden with Liam. Drake stopped pouring the whiskey and stepped away from Camille, clearing his throat.

‘Come join us for a drink!’ Camille replied, her voice shrill. Liam chuckled and picked up a glass, holding it out to Drake.

‘Come on, Walker, top me up.’

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, sian265!

For @sian265​. Here's your Malec secret santa gift! Hope you like it!

Read On AO3

*****

You Have To Fall Before You Can Fly

“For the love of—everybody stop!”

Oh, thank god.  Magnus schools his face into a bored expression, letting go of Alec’s shoulders and leaning nonchalantly back against the institute wall, spreading his wings to either side as he goes.  He doesn’t move from that position as Izzy stalks up to the two of them, hands on her hips.  She stops right in front of him, her eye twitching as she stares between him and her brother.

Alec huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.  Magnus, meanwhile, delicately raises an eyebrow.  “Yes, Isabelle dear?” he asks.

“Why,” she says, her glare sharpening until Magnus almost wants to cringe away from it, “are you two having such a difficult time with such simple instructions.”

Alec huffs again, a sound like a charging bull might make before it gores some unwitting civilian.  He’s frustrated, has been frustrated all day, and seems to be two seconds away from taking it out on anything or anyone within reach.  Understandable—Magnus is frustrated, too, if he’s being honest.  He, however, will be the bigger man.  He’ll keep his cool.  Because that’s what he does—he’s stood strong in the face of stubborn shadowhunters for longer than Alec has been alive, and he’s not about to stop now.

Magnus forces a smile onto his face.  “We’re working on it,” he says, which both is and isn’t a lie.  They’re working on the choreography right now, yes, but that isn’t the reason they’re having such a hard time with it.  That owes more to the fact that they haven’t said more than two words to each other since the day began.

Izzy drags her hands down her face.  “We don’t have time for this.  We only have so much time before the ceremony—”

And there she goes, off ranting about the state of the preparations and the dancers and all the effort she’s put in to make this work and are you two even listening to me?

Magnus shakes himself.  “Of course, dear,” he says.  “Why don’t Alex—”  He cuts himself off.  He can’t call Alec by his full name right now, they’re fighting.  Which is fine, a fight isn’t the end of the world, but Alec had asked for space yesterday and now Magnus is all on the wrong foot.  He corrects, saying instead, “Why don’t your brother and I just… try again, hm?”

Izzy scrutinizes them for a long moment.  “Alec?” she says.  “Are you willing to try again?”

Alec doesn’t say anything for a long moment.  Magnus’s heart, despite his attempts not to let it, sinks down to his knees.  They’re fighting, yes—over some petty squabble that turned realer in the heat of the moment than either of them meant it to—but Alec is as stubborn as they come.  If even he can’t push through this to learn the choreography for the ceremony, then maybe they shouldn’t be here at all.

Then Alec sighs, a heavy sound, and says, “One more time.”

So they go one more time.  They start on the ground, standing opposite each other—they’ll take off at a run and meet in the middle and, if all goes well, Alec will lift Magnus with two hands on his waist and Magnus will spread his wings and get off the ground and lift Alec in turn and they’ll begin the aerial part of the dance and—

—and—

—Magnus stops at the last second, wings flaring out at his sides, flapping in agitation.  “What is it?” he asks, frowning at Alec.

Alec frowns back at him.  “What do you mean?  You’re the one who stopped,” he says.

“I stopped because you looked off.”

“I was concentrating on doing my part.  What do you want from me, a prince charming smile?”

“No, but I would like to know that I’m not going to get thrown to the ground.”

“Hey, I’m doing my part, it’s you who isn’t doing yours—”

Magnus puffs up, his feathers fluffing outward as he steps forward to lean into Alec’s space.  Before he can get there, however, Izzy is between them, a hand planted on each of their chests.

“Okay, okay, jesus.  Cool down, guys,” she says.

Alec grunts, pushing away from her.  He doesn’t say anything else, just goes to pick up his jacket and walks away from the courtyard, his strides long and his gaze deadly, shadowhunters and downworlders alike stepping quickly out of his way.

“Great,” Izzy mutters.  Then she turns on Magnus, her gaze piercing.  “You wanna tell me what all of that was about?”

Magnus snorts, contemplating summoning up a martini.  “Nothing you need to worry about,” he says, closing his eyes for a long moment.

Izzy snorts.  “Apparently it is.  You two are going to ruin the whole shindig at this rate.  All that work both of you have put in to get the shadowhunters and the downworlders to work together and suddenly you two are on the outs?”

“So it would seem,” Magnus says, and normally he doesn’t feel his age but suddenly he’s weighed down by all the many centuries he’s been alive.  He gives Izzy a weak smile and wanders away, heading toward home with his shoulders slumped and his wings all but dragging on the ground.

“Hey!  We’ll pick it up again early tomorrow, okay?” Izzy calls after him.  He raises one bejeweled hand in acknowledgment before gesturing a portal into existence.  Tomorrow… ugh.  Tomorrow is a problem for Future Magnus.  Right Now Magnus, in the meantime, is going to go home and get spectacularly drunk and wallow in self-pity for a good long while.

Or at least he intends to.  When he arrives at the loft and spies a pair of Alec’s spare gloves sitting on the coffee table, however, all the energy goes out of him.  He groans, suddenly exhausted, and goes to plant himself face-down in bed instead, closing his eyes against the light of the setting sun.  He just… this fight.  It’s not all his fault, really—maybe twenty percent of it is his fault—but he still feels bad about it.  Even twenty percent is too damn much, and he knows that he said a few things that hurt Alec.  He just… he doesn’t know how to bridge the gap now that it’s here.  Now that Alec has pulled back.

It was never going to last, says a snipped little voice in his head.  He grunts, rolling over and planting a pillow over his face.  It doesn’t stop the voice, which sounds like a bastardized version of Ragnor, from then saying, he’s a shadowhunter—what did you really expect?

He doesn’t know.  All he knows is that Alec… Alec has always been different.  Or so he thought.  But maybe… god, could it be wishful thinking?  He doesn’t want it to be, but fuck, what if it is?  What if this is just Camille all over again, and he’s deluded himself into thinking that something is different about Alec when it isn’t?  What if—?

He twitches, shaken from the spiral of his thoughts by his wards pinging to let him know that Alec is on his way up.

Magnus frowns.  That… can’t be right.  Alec shouldn’t be here—they’re fighting, after all.  He said it himself not two days ago, he was going to stay at the Institute for a few days to get some space.

Someone clearly hasn’t gotten the memo.  With a grunt, Magnus pries himself up off his bed and heads to the door.  He’s half tempted to make Alec stand outside for a few minutes just to be petty, but he doesn’t want to do that, he finds.  For as off as they’ve been lately, he misses Alec.  And whatever Alec is here for, it must be important.  Right?

Magnus bites the inside of his cheek, schooling his face into neutrality as he buzzes Alec up before Alec can even touch the buzzer.  He waits until he can feel Alec on the other side of the door, brushing up against his inner wards, before he opens it in one swift motion.

“How can I help you?” he asks, not quite in his High Warlock voice but close.

Alec, standing on the other side of the door with his fists shoved in the pockets of his jacket, doesn’t meet his eyes.  “I was just… I thought…”  He takes a deep breath, raising his eyes.  “I wanted to know if you would take a walk with me.”

Magnus blinks.  That’s… not what he expected.  But Alec seems sincere, if a little awkward.  This is an olive branch—he’s trying.  Honestly trying.  Magnus can’t deny him something as simple as a walk—he nods, snapping a jacket of his own onto his shoulders.  He gestures for Alec to lead the way.

Alec does, after hesitating a moment more on Magnus’s doorstep.  Then he heads back down the stairs, walking briskly out the door and taking off down the street.

He seems to have a destination in mind, as he doesn’t say a word as they walk.  Magnus matches his long strides, willing to wait him out.  Alec isn’t the greatest with words at the best of times, really.  He’s honest, blunt—it’s one of the things that Magnus generally finds charming about him.  Right now, however, it’s just serving to make him feel more distant from the man he loves.

They walk for nearly twenty minutes before Alec comes to a stop at a construction site of all things.  He nods to Magnus before he steps inside the bare bones of the building, beginning to climb up half-finished stairs.  Magnus frowns and follows, his uncertainty growing.

They are fifteen stories up before Alec comes to a stop, walking out across a bare floor toward the side of the room, where holes for floor-to-ceiling windows wait for glass.  The sun has fully set and the moon is out by the time they settle, side by side, on the ledge.  Alec pauses there for a long moment, fiddling with the edge of his jacket as he collects his thoughts.  The jacket conceals no fewer than three weapons and a stele, Magnus knows—another part of Alec that he’s become familiar with.  Always and forever a shadowhunter, guarded body and mind.  Magnus had thought they were making progress with Alec’s need to protect himself, protect his heart, but then the fight and… well.

He clears his throat, looking at Alec and waiting for him to speak.  Finally he does, his voice low in the night.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he says.  Straight to the point, to the heart of the issue between them.  “If that’s what you thought.”

“I was beginning to wonder, yes,” Magnus says, biting his lip.  Then, making up his mind, he asks, “Would you like to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“I trust you,” Alec says, and the certainty in his voice is a balm to Magnus’s troubled soul.  “I do.  It’s… I just…”

“I hurt you,” Magnus says.  He knows he did.  That isn’t up for debate.

Alec, however, only shrugs.  “Not before I hurt you, first,” he says.  He stares up at the moon, worrying his lip between his teeth.  “I wanted to apologize for that.  I was out of line.”

Oh.  Magnus blinks, hard, and turns out toward the sky as well.  There aren’t many stars, not with the lights of the city so strong around them, but the view is nice all the same.  “You weren’t the only one,” he says.  He breathes slowly out.  “This ceremony… it’s been putting pressure on all of us.”

“Yeah,” Alec says, and snorts a little.  “Izzy’s been a nightmare.”

Magnus smiles.  “But you love her anyway.”

“I do.  And I…”

He pauses again, bunching his fist around the seam of his jacket.  Then he blows out between his teeth, and releases it to scrub a hand over his face.  “There’s just so much riding on this ceremony,” he says.  “For the downworld in particular.  If we can’t… if I can’t… I just feel like I keep screwing everything up.”

Oh.  This whole space thing wasn’t Alec needing distance.  It was Alec feeling like he messed up and pulling back.  Magnus nearly laughs when he realizes that Alec, who has never had a romantic relationship before Magnus, has probably never had a fight like this before, either.  He’s fumbling in the dark, not sure how to fix things, frustrated with himself more than anything.

Well, that won’t do.  Magnus hums, pushing himself to his feet and holding out his hand.

“Here… take my hand,” he says.  Alec does.  Slowly, tentatively.  Magnus can feel tension in Alec’s muscles, the tightness in his shoulders thrumming all the way down to his fingertips.  Still, he doesn’t pull back.

Magnus nods, pleased.  “You trust me,” he says.

“I do,” Alec says, and frowns.  “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that it’s okay.  There’s no one watching us right now.  There’s nothing riding on it.  If you trust me, and I trust you… then let’s do this.  Right here and right now.”

Alec’s eyes flick up from their entwined fingers to meet Magnus’s gaze.  And Magnus… god.  He can see the determination, the strength, that made him fall in love with Alec in the first place.  He’s got fire in his eyes, blazing and brilliant.

“You want to jump from a building together?” he asks, and there’s a laugh on his tongue.

Magnus grins.  “Why not?” he asks.

And Alec… when he grins back, he does it with his entire body, relief at knowing that he’s been forgiven for his part in their fight clear in his eyes.  He was scared, that was all—and Magnus wants him to know that he never has anything to be scared of.  He takes Alec’s hand and raises his knuckles to his own lips, pressing a kiss there.  Then, as Alec laughs, he turns toward the ledge and they both step off in sync.

Together, they fall.  And together… together they fly.

[toxicxxmyth]

The Truth Untold; Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan

Summary: Y/n Y/l/n, born and raised in south side Chicago. Now raising her five younger siblings, she’s not even sure if some of them are actually related to her. But she takes care of them nonetheless, as best as she can. While her drunk father continues to make their life harder. And her drug addicted mother comes bursting through the door once every to years. Its a chaotic life for a 23 year old, but she made it work. Until one day, the most notorious mob leaders of the country  shows up to do some business in the south side.

Au: Shameless!Au, Mafia!Sebastian

Warning(s): Cussing, slight smut, poverty, drugs etc

Word Count: 3,047

A/N: This is literally a Shameless fanfic, if you’ve seen the show, AMAZING, if not than you should because its amazing. 

A/N 2: Plus this lowkey kinda sucks lol, so watching the show will make up for it.

A/N 3: I didn’t write the whole smut cause i suck at it, but i’ll try my best if you guys ask for it.

prima întâlnire

The whole club glowed with blue and green laser beams shooting out from the rotating lights on the ceiling. Smoke coming out of both ends of the dance floor, the bar area seemed to be the only calm part of the club. It was Friday night and the club was beyond packed with people dancing dirty in the middle of the club. The air was thick, a mixture of the fog machine and marihuana clouds. Making it slightly hard to breathe. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

 Except you, apparently. Stress radiated off you as you sat, tensed at the bar. Watching as the bartender scrambled back and forth to take orders from everyone who crowded the bar. You couldn’t possibly have fun when your father arrived after months of his little rendezvous of drugs and alcohol. Causing even more chaos in your home.

“Y/n, I’m going to need you to get off your ass and start having some fun” Camille stutters over to you, making you lose your train of thoughts.

 “Nah, I think I’ll head home for the night” You shrugged, grabbing your purse and downing your drink.

 “What!? The whole point of taking you to the club was for you to loosen up, Y/n/n” She whines, bringing her hands up to rub your bare and tensed shoulders, a pout adorning her red lips. Making you shake your head with a slight smile at the drunken state of your best friend.

 “I have to get back to the kids. It’s kind of hard to have fun when all I can think about is Ethan blowing up the kitchen” You sigh, wincing at the thought of your little brother destroying your kitchen for one of his stupid experiments.

 “Fine, I’ll take you. It’s no fun without you” She huffs while turning around dramatically. Causing a giggle to rip from your throat. “Don’t move, I’m getting my stuff”

 “You don’t have to though, I can just take the bus. You should stay and have fun with your coworkers” You reassured her as she raised an eyebrow at you.

 “At 1:34am, Y/n, I think the fuck not” She gave you a look as if warning you to stay put.

 Your lip caught between your teeth as you watch your best friends stumble across the club, a smile on your lip as you thought how lucky you were to have such an amazing friend like her. Grabbing your purse to take a few dollars out to pay for your drink, your felt lips against the shell of your ear, and with a husky voice, he spoke.

 “I can feel your stress all the way across the room”

  You turned around quickly, eyebrows raised ready to tell the guy off, only to stop and gasp loudly. Your eyes wide and mouth agape, lucky for you, the music was booming loud so the chance of him hearing your deep gasp was slim to none.

 He’s beautiful, to say the least. The lights didn’t seem to bother you anymore as you analyzed every feature on the man. He had deep blue eyes, ones you could easily lose yourself into. Prominent cheekbones, his facial hair was growing out, causing your thoughts to wonder off to inappropriate scenarios. His lips where a light shade of pink, looking delicious as ever. He was older, maybe in his thirties, but you couldn’t tell. His whole body covered in black designer, he was expensive.

 “Um, I-” You stuttered, brows furrowed in confusion, you’ve never seen this man in your life.

 “What is it? Cat caught your tongue” He smirked, bringing his glass full of scotch to his lips. Cocky motherfucker.

 You scoffed at his attitude, biting your bottom lip to surpass a smile. You didn’t know if you wanted to punch him or ride his dick into the sunset.

 “And who the hell are you? My stalker?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you gained your composer as you got a clue on what type of guy you may be dealing with.

 “No, no stalker here. I couldn’t help but notice your lack of interest of for being here tonight” He smiles kindly, catching you off guard.

 “Yeah, well clubs aren’t really my thing, feel like I have better things to do” You nod your head, turning away from him, looking at one of the bottles that was placed on the wall along the others as if it was the most interesting thing there. Anything to look away from the beautiful stranger.

“Yeah? Like what?” He asked, downing his drink while calling over the bartender to order a new one, you assumed.

“Finding a job without having to blow the manager” You simply stated. Causing him to chuckle. His smile was absolutely breathtaking.

“What’s you name” He asked, which felt more of a statement, actually.

 “Uh Y/n. Yours?” You looked up at him, only to be met face to face with his beautiful eyes.

 “Sebastian”

 Sebastian, even his name is attractive.

 “So what brings you to south side Chicago?” You asked. Interested in why such a wealthy looking man would end up in this dump.

 “Business.” He shrugged, voice lowering as he said it. Eyebrows raised at you as if warning you not to ask anymore, which exactly what you did. You wouldn’t show it, but his demanding tone scared the shit out of you, but weirdly enough, it turned you the fuck on.

  “Let me buy you a drink” He offers.

 “I can’t, I uh have to get back to my kids” You shake your head and getting up from the stool. Ready for his surprised face a stuttering words at the mention of five kids. But to your surprise, he was unfazed.

  “Kids?” He asked, pulling out his wallet, taking out big cash as he dumped it on the counter for the barista to take. Making your eyes wind just a bit.

  “They’re actually my siblings, but they’re still kind of my kids” You confirmed while nodding your head. His eyes ranking your body, you felt small under his gaze, making you feel insecure.

  “Let me guess” He began, clearing his throat as he ripped his gaze away from yours.

 “First born, OD’d mom, alcoholic father. Leaving you to raise your siblings, you had to grow up at a young age, at maybe” He stops and raises his hands in defense “and this is just a guess, 13, maybe? Didn’t finish high school cause of your deadbeat parents and you’re currently jobless, stealing and scamming for food and clothes in the meantime” He finishes while looking at you with a small smile.

  You couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief. Wondering if you should be offended by the assumption or impress by how spot on he was.

  “Mom didn’t OD though, haven’t seen her in years. But I do know that she’s out living her best life. And I was actually 6 when I realized my parents didn’t give a shit. Ended up raising my two brothers. Then came the rest” You sigh, somewhat sadly at the situation you were in at such a young age, but you loved your siblings nonetheless.

“Must’ve been tough” He gave you a sad smile, taking a sip out of his drink.

“Yeah, but I got used to it pretty quick”

 “Well it seems like you know everything about me, so why don’t you tell me about yourself. I bet it’s much more interesting than my shitty life” You chuckled, hoping to get some kind of information about what kind of business he was running here.

 “It’s really crawdad in here, let’s go outside” He moved his head to point at the door.

 “No” You simply stated. Earning a look of shocked and surprised from the dominant male. Which boosted your ego just a little.

 “This is how things work. I walk out with you, you tell me your oh so tragic childhood which causes me to pity you. Soon, once I’m under your spell, you chloroform me and a white van appears out of nowhere and I’ll be part of a illegal sex and drug trafficking ring” You smiled innocently at him.

 “I’d actually be much more creative in kidnapping people”

 You didn’t know if he was being funny or serious, but it made you feel a mixture of fear and desire.

 “I’m from Romania, actually. Born and raised, came to America when I was 16, pretty hard to adapt to a new life. But I managed it” He offers a smile before continuing. “Dad took off with some young blondie, claiming he was in love with her” He used his fingers to quote on “in love”, “And mom got sick, and with dad gone, I couldn’t take care of her properly. So I dropped out of high school and got a job, one that paid extremely well. And I became good at it, really good, actually. So that’s me. A Businessman taking care of his family” He smiled at you, playing with the drink he had, one that you didn’t notice before.

 “Is your mother okay now” You asked, your ears on full display for him.

 “Yeah, she’s fine now”

 You nodded your head in understatement, but a question kept bugging you, so you asked hesitantly .

“And your dad?” And just like that, his whole body tensed up, eyes darkening at the mention of him. Mentally cursing yourself for being so damn nosy.

 “I’m so-”

 “No, its fine. He’s out of the picture, for good. Has been for years” He had a sinister look in his eyes, which caused an uneasy feeling to burst in your stomach.

    “I can take you home” He smiles, kindly, this time.

 This caused you to furrow your eyes in confusion, until you realized that you claimed to leave and go home when he first arrived.

  “I’m not going to hop in a strangers car and ditch my drunk best friend” You smirked, yet your hand didn’t dare move out of his grasp. And he noticed two due to the smirked that was placed on his lips. Before you knew it, you were pulled into his arms, making you gasp and pull away quickly. It felt incredibly nice feeling his lean fit body against yours, but pulling always was basic reflex.

  “Feisty” He chuckle, tongue swiping across his lips as his ring covered fingers traced your features. The whole mood went from a pity party to testing both your sexual desires. The softness of it all made you lean in while closing my eyes. It’s been a hell of a while since you’ve been touched, even slightly, especially by such an attractive man.

 “And you’re incredibly cocky”

 “I am, aren’t I?” He laughed, and actual laugh. Which left you slightly confused.

  ---

 Before you fucking knew it, your back was being pressed against the dirty walls of the most disgusting public bathroom you’ve probably ever been in while your neck was being devoured by a stranger you met 20 minutes ago. Your hands were firmly pressed against his chest, head tilted to the side giving him as much access to your neck as he needed.

 “Fuck, Sebastian” You couldn’t help but moan as you felt his growing dick press against your underwear. Your dress pulled up to your waist, making you feel like a cheap whore. But the feeling of Sebastian’s lips sucking roughly on your collarbone, his beard scratching against you and his growing dick rubbing against your slick underwear made you forget about your pride.

 His hands found their way to your exposed ass, squeezing them as hard as he could. His nails and cold rings digging into your skin made push your body harder against his. Your breathing was erratic, your hands couldn’t seem to find a place to rest upon. So you ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at it so you could look him in the eye, which were now a dark blue. Pupils slightly dilated, lips bruised and painted by your pink lipstick. The sight alone could’ve made you come undone.

Sebastian had other plans, while you were admiring his features, his hand pass your underwear, pressing harshly against your clit. You gasp loudly as you hold onto the back of his neck for some sort of support.

 Dragging his fingers down your slit, he collected some of your wetness and brought it back up to your clit, so it be easier to play with you. All while biting the shell of your ear.

“So wet, so delicious” He praised while slamming his lips on yours. The kiss was sloppy, but none of you minded it much.

His touch were soft, yet he had you rolling your eyes back as he rubbed you clit in circles.

You were so caught up in your own bubble of pleasure, you didn’t notice him using your thigh to rub his closed dick on. And smirked formed on your lips as your hand reached down to roughly palm him. But before you could do anything else. He grabbed your hand and turned you over the sink. Taking your hair into a makeshift pony tail, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror, all while grinding his dick on your bare ass.

 “I promise, next time, I’ll fuck you somewhere less disgusting, and more expensive, but for now, you’ll have to deal with this” He growls against your cheek.

Next time...

  --

 Staring at the blank walls of your room at 6:50 became some sort of tradition. Sleep was nowhere to be found as your thoughts kept you up every night. But lately, the only thought on your mind was Sebastian, and his beautiful blue eyes, his ring covered finger and his delicious lips. Fucking asshole.

  It’s been exactly a week since you your encounter, and to be honest, you were devastated, especially after he gave you the best fucking orgasm you’ve ever experience in a smelly bathroom than any guy in your bed.

  Sighing for the 20th time, you decide to get up from your pity party and head downstairs for a glass of water. A sleeping pill would be great if you didn’t have five kids to look after and figuring way to get. You only had 10 minutes before waking everyone up and cooking breakfast. And preparing their lunches for school. A headache already forming at just the thought of it, but you knew it was just lack of sleep.

 Half way down the stairs, you heard a loud knock on your door, causing you to stop and furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

  “Who the hell could that be?” You thought out loud as you reached the end of the stairs, grabbing the robe that was left on the couch and wrapping it over your semi naked body.

  “Delivery for Y/n Y/l/n” Was the first thing that came out of the man’s mouth as you opened the door half way.

 “Delivery? What do you mean delivery, from who?” you asked, opening the door wider and wrapping your arms around your freezing body. Today was Sunday, there are no deliveries on Sundays. Though, the fact that today wasn’t supposed to be mail day, it was the least your worries. What worried you most was the man delivering it. He was dressed in all black, hair slicked back and tattoos adorning his face. A cigarette handing from behind his ear, though it wasn’t enough to surprise or worry you.

  “Delivery from Mr. Stan” He coughs nervously, as if saying the name will cause a curse for all eternity.

 Confused, you take the heavy box into your arms. 

“Who-“

  “Have a good day, ma’am” He smiles and walks away, leaving you confused, and slightly scared of what might be in the mysterious box that looked to be more expensive than your whole house.

 “Ma’am? Who the hell are you trying to fool here” You questioned, mostly to yourself as you shut the door close.

 “What’s that?” Came the voice of the second oldest, Jeremy, as he slouched on the couch, lighting up a cigarette as he did so. Causing you to groan in annoyance while ripping it out of his mouth.

 “I have no fucking clue. Go make yourself useful make breakfast.”

“Like what?” He groans, not really paining attention to you.

Like cereal” You ordered as soon as you heard the alarm from one of the room upstairs, knowing everyone will be down soon.

 “There’s no milk”

 “Then use water”

 Once upstairs, you closed the door, locking it before throwing yourself on the bed with the box in your lap. Pretty stupid of you to accept a box from a drug dealing looking kid, but here you were. Half way opened, you noticed a card sticking out from the side. And saw a neat handwriting, one that you could’ve sworn you’ve seen before.

 “No legacy is as rich as honesty”

 I know you’ll probably think I’m an asshole for this. But here’s a little something for you to get by. I’ve been in the same situation, though, I took a dangerous root. So in the meantime, here’s a gift to help you and and your family. Don’t make a fuss, and burn, just enjoy it. And I’ll see you soon”

 Sebastian.

 Beyond confused, you opened the box only to find a shit load of money stacked on top of another. Maybe, 9, 10 grand? You didn’t know, but you panicked. Your eyes wide in shock, your hand covering you mouth as, your hand covering you mouth as our mind tried to process what was happening.

 “What the fuck, did you rob a bank or something?” Jeremy gasped as he busted into the room, staring at the money. You crumbled the note and placed it in between your legs so Jeremy didn’t notice. Once you were calm enough, you took a deep breath and closed the box calmly

“Count the money. We’re giving it back”

“Who the hell did you get involved with, Y/n?” Jeremy asked, sternly, this time. He closed the door and grabbed the box, making sure the other didn’t hear or see.

“I have no fucking clue, but that money is not staying”

[kinkymagnus]

Henlo!! I love your blog so much 😍 it gives me life and makes me happy when I have a bad day. I was wondering if you had any headcanons about Malec’s first time or something where Magnus is a nervous wreck cause he has to tell Alec that he’s trans? Thank you and sorry for the bother 😭♥️

y’all it is a CRIME how long this has been in my inbox, im really sorry and ur not bothering me at ALL i just love this ask and wanted to do it JUSTICE 👏

also im!!! so flattered!!! aaaaaAAAA im glad my blog can cheer u up :) 

okokok so trans magnus + malec’s first time + magnus being nervous about coming out lghkjgfh

ok i have no fucking idea why but i’m making this twi malec. i’m just. in the mood for twi malec i guess. fuck it amiright

magnus is just. he has a lot of secrets. there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten close to anyone in a long time, there’s a reason he only talks to two or three people who actually know him, there’s a reason he hasn’t been how he used to be--out and about, flashy and showing off and wearing armor made of glittering beauty and colorful silks and bold makeup, instead of comfortable cardigans and twitching hands and quiet. 

speaking of which: def headcanon twi magnus wasn’t always the way he is in that episode. he was a lot like canon magnus once upon a time, charismatic (well, he’s still charismatic, but like, in that bold flashy way, you know?) and open (closed off, but with the illusion of having all his cards on the table) and bold

anyway. there’s a reason. lots of reasons. mostly all the secrets he hides.

the fact that he has magic, that he’s immortal, a dusty relic of a time long gone, of an age past, clinging on past his due date. he feels like he doesn’t belong in the modern world, like he should have died with the shadow world, like he should have been sealed out with all the other demons.

the fact that he is a prince king of hell, son and slayer of the greater demon asmodeous himself. even tho he’s sealed it all away, he has a huge amount of power, both from just. originally being the son of such a powerful demon, a fallen angel, and also from managing to kill one.

i don’t think it fits with canon twi lore but i don’t care, i’m saying twi magnus was involved in the sealing of the realm, and he managed to kill asmodeous and basically absorb his power, so a) he actually did this huge incredible feat that changed the whole world, whether on purpose or not i’m not sure yet (it has something to do with asmodeous, but i’m not seeing the whole picture yet) and b) he’s actually. more powerful than canon magnus. it’s partially why he sealed away his magic for so long, he was afraid of what that power could do. 

honestly i dont have this super well thought out but i like the potential

but anyway! barely related to this! let’s get back on topic!

and. the fact that he’s trans. a decidedly more mundane secret, but still one he keeps close to his chest. he’s lived through a lot of eras with bad very transphobic times? like he’s lived through places/times with very accepting atmopshere, but he’s also lived in like, victorian england, you know? and canon magnus had a chance to be more out of his shell and open in the modern world but this magnus has completely closed himself off. he mostly talks to people other than his close friends to give them a tarot reading. he’s not like, totally cut off, i can’t imagine him like. not helping people. you know. idek. but the point is he’s more isolated. canon magnus was closed off in a lot of ways, but still surrounded by people. he had a job to do, people to protect, and parties to attend. not to mention going to pandemonium and stuff. twi magnus isn’t really doing that. man i really went on a tangent here but the point is i feel like that would contribute to how he feels about being trans. feeling isolated, having less friends to be open with and to help him you know? in my experience it’s a lot harder to feel like. valid? without that sense of community. even with a few close friends, it’s hard. if you’re “passing”, which magnus is, it feels like a secret. 

the point is! i am getting so off track! magnus has got layers and layers and layers protecting him, both literal and metaphorical (he doesn’t wear the more flashy and revealing clothing canon magnus occasionally favors, preferring thick and comfortable sweaters and cardigans and stuff like that. bonus headcanon: whatever happened that ended in asmodeous dead and the walls of the world sealed, it left magnus with more scars. not to mention top surgery scars he may have, or even just hiding a binder, or using thick layers to disguise small tiddies since binders are great but you can’t bind all the time or every day for centuries and still be like, healthy. anYWAY) 

and when he starts dating alec despite that little cautious voice in his head insisting he needs to not get attached, alec begins to just. effortlessly peel those layers away

he’s so blunt and honest, unlike people who have lied to and manipulated magnus in the past (CAMILLE, anyone? i feel like she’d still be a thing in the twiverse. also asmodeous, albeit in a different way) and he’s gentle and loud and bold and he’s funny and sweet and he just. fucking cares about magnus.

when he finds about magnus’s magic he’s like “oh my god that’s so cool” he just fucking accepts him so easily!!! 

and even when magnus ends up tearfully confessing he may or may not be a literal king of hell (or, one of the hell dimensions) alec’s like “damn, i’m dating royalty?” and maybe makes a joke about not everyone getting to make a king scream with pleasure and magnus is just so relieved???

but that’s later

anyway

they haven’t had sex yet and magnus is just like. he feels like inevitably this relationship is gonna fall apart. he has too many secrets, too many hidden parts of himself that if he ever shed light on, alec wouldn’t see him the same way

and as much as he wants alec to fuck him, as much as he wants to be in bed with alec and cuddle with him and have sex with him and show him everything, he feels like he can’t, it would be the beginning of the end

he keeps pulling back just as alec begins to initiate, and alec never pushes but wonders if he’s doing something wrong, or if maybe magnus is asexual, or just doesn’t want to have sex for other reasons, and eventually he broaches the topic with magnus and magnus is so surprised alec noticed something is wrong (he expected alec might confront him over not “putting out” but alec doesn’t seem to care about the sex--he makes sure to emphasize while he is attracted to magnus and would lvoe to have sex with him if that’s what magnus wants, it’s by no means a requirement--but more about. magnus. and communicating with him.) that he just blurts out i’m trans. 

and alec kinda blinks at him. his beautiful, wonderful, nervous and scared boyfriend. and he ends up blurting out oh thank god. because he would be more than okay with magnus not wanting to have sex--he’s super gorgeous and absolutely smoking hot, but alec doesn’t ever like, want to have sex with him unless magnus wants to. obviously. but he was honestly worried it wasn’t magnus but him, that he’d done something wrong or wasn’t attractive or something, and honestly worrying about something being wrong with him was not a feeling he was used to. then he realizes how bad that just sounded, and he’s like, aaaaaaaAAAA WAIT and ends up panickedly rambling like i mean sorry i just was kind of worried i was doing something wrong but like, i love you so much and you being trans changes nothing about that, and if you never want to have sex that’s totally okay and i love you, but if you’re worried about me still being attracted to you that’s not a problem, but-- and magnus is like y-you’re not?? but you’re gay! and i’m-- and you know that feeling of like. internalized [insert form of bigotry towards yourself, in this case transphobia]. where you think something bad about yourself. and if you think about it you’re like “no that’s transphobic i would never think that about anyone else” and your brain is just like “yeah it’s true about you tho” that’s this. magnus is like. i’m not a real man, how could you be attracted to me? and alec (not to be all Cis Savior, but look, magnus deserves a loving supportive boyfriend who comforts him and shit, okay! i am PROJECTING) is like yeah i’m gay and you’re a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning man? 

and they end up talking it out and get it sorted that yes, magnus does want to have sex, but it would be okay if one of them didn’t want to, magnus being trans does not make alec unattracted to him, it’s okay, they’re okay, because malec are Kings of Communication,

ANYWAY

ACTUAL FIRST TIME

probably not the same day, that day they cuddle and talk 

but like later

>:)

alec is just so gentle and reverent y’all. like. them big hands on magnus’s body, all warm and gentle and magnus is like oh fuck this is nice

they do have to kind of communicate boundaries--alec’s asks if there’s anywhere magnus doesn’t want to be touched because dysphoria (or any other reason) and vice versa, magnus trying to be like “you know if you only want to fuck my ass or have me wear a strap-on or anything like that it’s fine, i understand you’re not necessarily attracted to those parts of me” and alec’s like “we’ve established that you would enjoy me eating you out and i WANT TO EAT YOU OUT” 

their first time probably is pretty simple, “vanilla”, idk why but im thinking they just exchange oral sex tbh like magnus blows him and then alec eats him out 

also magnus cums pretty fast bc he hasn’t been touched like this in a long time and he’s very embarrassed about it but alec is like “damn that’s hot can i try to make you cum a few more times” 

ok but imagine their first time it’s just alec holding him down and eating him out until he sobs and squirts? yes

anyway tho they have like, lots of “other” first times too like. first time alec fucks his pussy. first time alec fucks his ass. etc. 

first time alec slides that Thick Dick balls deep into magnus’s cunt he’s for sure immediately on the edge of orgasming he’s so full and it feels so good--

and alec’s like holy SHIT bc he’s warm and wet and tight and he clenches every time alec praises him or dirty talks him and it feels amazing

first time alec fucks his ass is also very fun for both of them ;) 

it’s just a good time all around folks communication and magnus getting pounded the way he deserves :’) 

not to mention when they first start getting into kinks 

alec, carefully broaching the topic of bondage: how would you feel... about handcuffs?

magnus, barely looking up: mm, padded or not? and what kind of padding? the normal kind hurt my wrists after too long and not really in a nice way, so i like padded. furry can get a little itchy sometimes but they look real nice. also, are we talking above my head to the bedpost, and if so, am i on my stomach or back? because stomach is a little uncomfortable. or like, behind my back? especially bent over, mm. good view for you ;) 

then he like looks up and realized he’s said all of this very casually and alec’s looking at him with 1. shock and 2. lust 

like. “i wasn’t expecting this, but i really should have, and now i want to bend you over and tie you up and fuck you hard” 

and he blushes just a lil bit like o shit i just said all that and alec’s like “padded it is. behind your back or above your head... hm... both have potential, but maybe the latter? i love you on your back under me, i can see so much of your beautiful body and all of your gorgeous face :)” 

and like TOYS 

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY

[saltine-kakyoin]

ok i CANNOT take it anymore I simply MUST know. spill the beans on the Star Catinum scene please 🙏🏼🙏🏼💝💝💝🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I have been wondering for SO LONG and I am SO CURIOUS

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET INTO THIS, LEMME PROVIDE SOME EXPOSITION! :3 the Star Catinum Scene was heavily inspired by the one fan art of splat w the BIG dinner plate eyes, the one where’s he’s like owo and then O W O. it reminded me of a cat! and then i thought of this one post i saw ages ago about how much it’d suck if catra’s eyes went all big + dilated in the middle of one of her fights with adora, and then... the dots connected and, to quote my main man kronk, it was all coming together now :3 another big part of this is the adventure i had w coffee in ny, which we’ve talked about here in there in chat! w that said, lemme dive right in!! this might get long, so i’m gonna put it into a readmore just in case!

sO. the star catinum scene is from the sda, which means kak is roomies w camille in paris while jotaro is grappling w friend/family withdrawal in florida! Jotaro travels + visits everyone when he can, bc he is just. Mad lonely in florida. he might grump about all of the crusaders, but he really do be lovin + missing them, you know? On Kak and Camille’s end, this is normally fine! however, the visit that takes place in the star catinum scene is like. towards the later end of the semester for Kak, and inconveniently RIGHT in the middle of one of his final projects for the semester. So! Instead of trying to juggle the project + jotaro, he decides, fuck it! I’m gonna go crazy go stupid and finish it in advance so I can devote all of my attention to jotaro + what he’s been up to when he arrives. :)

nonetheless, jotaro’s visit sneaks up on him, in the way that these kinds of situations do, and he really becomes unhinged that week! He’s gone, painting for nights on end, leading up to Jotaro’s arrival + distressingly, he’s still not done the day/night before jotaro’s set to arrive! Kakyoin is normally a pretty levelheaded and rational guy, but all pretense has jumped out the window. he just Needs to finish this project at this point. SO. that night right before jotaro flies in, Kak stops by the cafe right underneath his and Camille’s apartment that’s run by a turkish and indian couple, and orders two large cups of their most intense brew. With his project and his coffee in hand, he sets off for a parisian rooftop to finish what he started, chugging the first cup as he goes. The first cup is nice, and really gets him going and in the mode! however, he gets so hyperfocused on the painting that he forgets there’s a second cup- at least, until he almost trips on it hours later! And then he’s like. Oh. Oh GOD. there’s a second cup! full of coffee! what do? The small voice of reason that’s been dwindling throughout this week is like: noriaki....whatever you Do, do NOT drink that cup. just let it go. toss it. But another, louder part of him is like: but you are getting kind of sleepy tho.. and are you done with your project yet? No? Then why waste the money by throwing the cup away? Just drink it dude...

So, he drinks it! which is fine and dandy for all of five minutes, until the caffeine REALLY begins kicking and oh, oh god. he should Not have had the second cup of coffee...Filled with regret and too much energy to handle, he feverishly finishes up the painting, slowly losing a grip on reality with each stroke! it almost feels like his body is trying to exorcise itself, which he can’t really blame it for. almost drunkenly, he stumbles back to his and camille’s apartment- thank god for hierophant catching his missteps and making sure the painting isn’t tarnished on the journey! He stumbles back into the apartment, which is pretty dark beyond the light peeking out from camille’s bedroom + the flickering glow of the flames from her new candles. she steps out of her room when she hears he’s finally home, and ooh. Kakyoin may be lost in the caffeine sauce, but he can almost Feel the concern radiating from Camille’s person. she barrages him with a bunch of questions, seemingly all at once. wherewereyou? are you okay? isitfinished? whendidyoulastsleep? Most importantly, are you going to be well enough to get pick Jotaro up from the train station in a few hours? 

Kakyoin waves these questions off as his body plummets into the wonderfully plump cushions of their sofa- painting,i’mfine,yes,idon’tknow, and Yes. just let me close my eyes for a moment...i’ll be fine just wake me up when it’s time to get jotaro. And then, he slips into a deep deep slumber. 

 (i’ve gotta get ready for work soon, so i’m gonna copypasta the rest from my explanation of it to jules!! which is grand bc i feel that explanation captures the fever dream quality of it much better than i am here!)

Camille watcches him melt into the couch + basically enter a coma with mounting anxiety. Normally Jotaro calls when he's arrived at the train station from the airport, and despite the early hour she doesn't really expect this time to be any different. However, it's normally Always Kakyoin that goes to get him. and then they go out for lunch, or dinner, or breakfast. or just a random snack run at the oddest hours of the day. Normally Camille hardly interacts with Jotaro, and she’s used to their interactions always falling flat.. she doesn't know why. Kakyoin assures her that that's just how Jotaro is: quiet, expressive in his own ways. but it gnaws at camille

So anyhow, she waits for Jotaro to call with Dread, because the situation can go one of two ways: kakyoin emerges from his like 2 hour nap after not sleeping for at least a day or two, and the entire visit is off because Kakyoin himself is off skelter. Or, she answers the phone and gets jotaro from the train station Herself + maybe makes him dislike her even more! both options make her stomach drop, and she can't stop her eyes from constantly drifting over to kakyoin, who looks a little too still, a little too cold, a lot of too worn out. She grabs her nicest, most comfortable blanket and throws it over him.. maybe it'll help him sleep better, and hopefully it'll help ease her mind

she does some meditation until jotaro Finally FINALLY calls. Kakyoin is the lightest sleeper known to man for reasons that Camille is unable to understand, so she leaps on their telephone. jotaro's voice is something that strikes fear in her, and having his voice right up in her ear at like 3 am is the least ideal thing ever. it throws all of her meditation out the window, and the harebrained anxiety is Back.

hurriedly, she tells jotaro that they'll be over to pick him up soon! and she can't help but notice the deflated, "Oh." she gets back in response, which baffles her even further. (jules said that was bc he was just waking up from his own personal red-eye flight fever dream nap, and I cannot agree more!) Sure, it's normally always kakyoin that gets jotaro, but what's so wrong with her tagging along? It's not a far walk from their apartment to the train station- what if she just wanted to get out of the house? anyhow, the thought only serves to make camille more nervous.

she decides right after hanging up that No. She is Not going to wake kakyoin up for this- he really needs the sleep, jotaro be damned. it's not like they're going to get up to anything at this hour anyways. She shimmies into her outerwear + yeehaws over to the gare du nord, where she finds jotaro pretty quickly (he’s so tall!). he's like, "Oh- you. Where's Kakyoin?" and she spitballs the entire thing to him because Camille is just a motormouth when her nerves are high

Camille is expecting Jotaro to be miffed, just a little bit, but surprisingly, he's pretty chill about the whole thing. He's grateful to Camille for coming to get him, because otherwise he'd get hopelessly lost in the maze of the city. This is where Camille begins to realize, hm.. perhaps she was too harsh of a judge..mayhaps.. jotaro really is just Like That, as kakyoin has said at least six times before.. what a concept.

They start walking back to the apartment, and Jotaro's mostly concerned about Kakyoin and why the dude's currently comatose on their couch. Camille just keeps rambling and maybe giving out more information than she should, but Camille is just like Polnareff in that regard. she doesn't notice his gaze soften at their similarity, or at the concept that kakyoin would work himself raw just to make time for jotaro's visit... (which Kakyoin shouldn't have to, not for his sake! but the concept pokes at the small beast in jotaro that fancies kakyoin, which.. ugh. that's an entire thing for him to wrestle with.)

so they make it back to the apartment, and camille urges him to be really quiet as they enter- 'did you know, kakyoin's a super light sleeper? i stubbed my toe and cursed once and it woke him up! it's a little odd, i wonder why he's like that.' but jotaro knows. he learned why early sometime in their third year, an admittance uttered in the pitch black of the ocean at an ungodly hour. death 13, a stand he never met, or at least one that he doesn't remember meeting? and yet one that had such a profound impact on kakyoin. in the present, he puts more thought into his footsteps as they cross the threshold between the apartment commons and kakyoin and camille's apartment.

And oh, there he is. buried under a heaping white blanket, with only the left side of his face poking out. jotaro grins ever so slightly, looking at the noodle strayed madly across the side of his head that jotaro can see- how intensely had kakyoin flung himself at the couch? he feels like his eyes rest on kakyoin a moment too long, and maybe camille feels it too. or maybe her mind is just buffering- kakyoin had said she was squirrel-minded sometimes. as if her brain were leaping from one thing to another at such incredible speeds that she herself struggled to keep up with it

camille whispers so lightly that jotaro almost doesn't hear her. but once he does catch on to what she is saying, something takes hold of his heart and tries to drag it under. She's afraid to wake Kakyoin up and ask him to move because he really needs the sleep, but that means jotaro's pick for bed is either her bed (sized for one petite camille and therefore most Definitely not fit for one giant Jotaro) or kakyoin's (which is better suited for jotaro's height but also DANGEROUS)

he feels her eyes upon him like a searing iron on flesh. camille means well, and camille has No Idea what feelings he has- he knows she doesn't think anything of his silence, his deliberation...but god. in this tiny apartment lit only by candlelight, it sure feels like she's peering into his soul and judging him. nonetheless, he ends up choosing kakyoin's bed. his flight was long, and camille's bed is just. not cut out for him! that, and it'sonlyonenightit'sonlyonenightit'sonlyonenight. once kakyoin is up tomorrow.. or whenever he's up......he and jotaro can just switch beds and there'll be no problems. this is what jotaro tells himself, but his mind still runs rampant as he lies in kakyoin's bed. thisiskakyoin'sbed. this is where kakyoin sleeps Every Single Night. this is where kakyoin would be sleeping Right Now if he hadn't run himself ragged in preparation for your visit. he did that for youforyouforyou! but also.. he should not have done that for you- you always have this effect. it's an endless cycle all night long- jotaro is thankful when the exhaustion from the airport finally shuts his brain up

needless to say, jotaro feels like shit when he wakes up. camille feels like shit when she wakes up. nobody had a good night except for kakyoin, and that's only if you count out his feverish journey back to the apartment as his body tried to violently keep itself from tearing apart at the seams due to drinking Way Too Much strong coffee. camille's already up when jotaro clambers out of kakyoin's room, starting the pot for the morning. she takes one look at him and empathizes, asks how he takes his coffee. they chat quietly as it brews- camille tells him that the only person she thinks got a good night's sleep is kakyoin, who is still out of it. bemused, she tells jotaro how she misjudged where the counter was earlier and accidentally ended up slamming her mug on it, which she was SURE was going to wake up kakyoin. but behold... the beast still slumbers!

this is a really pivotal moment for jotaro and camille's friendship, this quiet morning talk. they don't talk about anything in particular, just whatever floats into camille's mind. they're both too tired to really care about any preconceived notions they had about the other, which is how they both learn that they had horribly misjudged the other. huh, would you look at that!

at some point as they're chatting, star platinum peels away from jotaro to go check on kakyoin, which used to happen often, especially back in tibet. this would annoy jotaro any other time- he very distinctly remembers kakyoin harshly telling him i'mfinei'mfinei'mfine, i'm not going to break or anything. but star (and thus, by extension, jotaro..) has always been the type to Need to check. star has always been a bit more anxious about kakyoin after dio, which jotaro really thinks is pretty fair. seeing your best friend getting rolled into a helicopter with a giant gaping hole in his abdomen will do that to you!

but anyhow. star peels away from jotaro to check on kakyoin, and jotaro allows it. he is concerned about kakyoin- although jotaro's guilty of it, too, it's no good to be staying up for that long and knocking yourself straight out with old coffee. he keeps chatting with camille through all of this- star platinum is up to Risky Business, but camille can't see him. jotaro's fine

(except camille CAN see him and she's too petrified to say anything about it lmao)

so while he and camille keep chatting, star platinum hovers over to kakyoin, and really takes the dude in. admittedly, kakyoin looks worse for wear. his skin has an odd pallor to it that makes jotaro feel a little queasy, and the bags under kakyoin's eyes don't go unnoticed either. his brow is deeply furrowed, and absently jotaro wonders what's plaguing kakyoin in his sleep. it's always been like this, since death 13. since the coma. he wants to smooth kakyoin's brow out, to run his thumb along it. but that's dangerous.

instead, star acts on instinct and reaches out to push The Noodle, the damnable beast, out of his face. star moves slowly- he doesn't want to wake kakyoin up, after all. it was just in the way. Of Kakyoin, that is. Not Jotaro looking at his face. Never that.

however, jotaro gets caught up in the thought, and in the implication of the thought, and star's finger brushes against kakyoin's ear way more than he had intended to (read: he hadn't intended to!! *cue internal screaming*), and oh. god. oh god. kakyoin's index finger fidgets, and then his eyebrows relax. has jotaro fucked up. oh god. if he woke up kakyoin he might just chuck himself out the window and into the traffic below them

as jotaro's thinking this, star platinum, the fucking beast, remains firmly planted in front of kakyoin. despite all the sirens going off in jotaro's mind, it stays there. most times, he feels like star platinum and he are pretty well in sync. but sometimes, he wonders if star platinum has a will of its own- is it Really just jotaro floating around in there? he wondered this at the very beginning, in that jail cell, and he begrudingly wonders about it now. getbackinhererightnow, and Yet! star platinum remains, taking in kakyoin with wide eyes. beside him, camille takes a very long sip of her coffee.

kakyoin wakes up slowly, as if sleep is not yet done with him. when he finally does manage to crack open his eyes, he blinks once, twice. slowly. why is it so bright. why is it so Purple? once his brain finally rejoins the land of the living, he is able to discern what the purple nebula before him is- it's star platinum? looking at him with eyes the size of dinner plates? his mouth utters the stand's name before he can quite process what's going on, but the second he does, splat is gone. faintly, he hears a choke from across the room, and that's what finally wakes him up. his gaze is drawn over to his and camille's kitchen, where camille is very pointedly digging around in their fridge. but next to her is the hulking jotaro kujo, choking on what kakyoin... judging by scent alone, guesses is coffee.

the scent triggers something in kakyoin’s mind, and then it all hits him like a train- overwhelming and all at once. oh dear god, he slept for far too long. he missed jotaro's arrival completely! and now jotaro is here choking on coffee in their kitchen. Jotaro is here!! and kakyoin was only just now waking up, disgustingly sweaty, under a mountainous blanket- camille's? oh dear god. what a nightmare!

in any other circumstance kakyoin would go to hug jotaro or shake his hand, but this. this was not it. his breath smelled like coffee that was much too old and God, he was so hot! he felt like his clothes had been glued to his skin. he yells out some sort of greeting, some acknowledgement that hey!! it's jotaro! but the words are jumbled and a pretty pitiful mix of english, japanese, and french. and then he vaults over the couch and into his room, WHERE! Jotaro's suitcase is?????? he trips on it, yells out some sort of profanity, grabs some clothes, and proceeds to promptly lock himself in the shower for at least fifteen minutes.

in these fifteen minutes, it's just intense kill bill sirens on all ends. kakyoin's like FUCK MAN I MISSED PICKING UP JOTARO, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SLEPT THROUGH ALL THAT! AND WHY WAS STAR LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? AHHHH; jotaro is just. lost in the sauce. star platinum you fucking bastard you should have withdrawn much earlier! that was too close! and camille. camille just hyperfocuses on achieving the perfect blend of coffee and creamer for her second cup while pretending she did NOT just witness whatever that super tender super intimate scene was. just smile and wave camille, smile and wave and nobody will ever know you saw a thing....

they collectively pretend to agree nothing happened when kakyoin gets out of the shower. jotaro, needing something to do with his hands before his body implodes, makes kakyoin some calming drink- something his father no doubt made often during busy tours. their fingers brush when he passes the cup to kakyoin, but you know what? we are NOT going to think about it. kakyoin nurses the cup gingerly, and camille, the saint that she is, bubbles up an entirely new conversation.

and that's basically it! jotaro falls deeper down the rabbit hole, kakyoin becomes Confused, and camille begins taking notes on the Hopeless Case of One (1) Kujo Jotaro lol

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Girls Talk Boys (part 1)

Camille and Cher meet their new neighbors

This started as kind of a joke. That's why there are so many guys in it. I now have like eight parts to it so what the hell. First time writing anything like this. Let me know if you like it.

Warnings: there will be mentions of drinking and smoking, lots of cursing and eventually it gets dirty.

The heat slapped her in the face as she stepped out of her truck. Ok so maybe packing up your entire life and moving across country in July wasn't her best idea, but Camille desperately needed a fresh start. Landing a new job on the west coast couldn't have come at a better time.  She readjusted her hair back into a bun and took a minute to survey their new home in the gated condominium complex Jacaranda Garden Estates. Sure it sounded like a seniors golf retreat but was known for being an eccentric community full of artistic types with a little money.  A sports blog wasn't exactly considered the arts but Camille wasn't alone in this.

Her bff/”little sister” Cher was in on the adventure. Cher was a brilliant artist and had been the one to convince Camille to go for it.   Cher’s childhood bestie Cody already lived at the Jacaranda. It was Cody and his boyfriend Nick that helped get them approved by the committee.

Wandering through the downstairs through the kitchen stepping off the back patio Camille could see several of her new neighbors enjoying the summer day. The pool area was teeming with guys with tattoos, muscles and low slung shorts and impossibly tall slim beautiful women. Several people were glancing her way making Camille wish she'd put some effort into her appearance today. Cher took that moment to appear at her side in a literal puff of smoke finishing off the last of a joint.

“ FINALLY Took you bitches long enough” Cody, as loud and dramatic as he was tall ran over to wrapping them both up in a hug. “Codyeeeeeee” Cher squealed giving him a giant smacking kiss on the cheek. Releasing them Cody lifted Camille’s hand to his lips “Greetings your grace” he murmured with a cheeky grin.  Cody hadn’t seen them in ages. The two of them made an interesting combo. Cher being the more relaxed and cheerful but at the same time a bit dreamy and ditzy. Her long dark hair, habit of favouring sundresses and going barefoot she looked much more innocent than she actually was. Also being the taller and younger Cher both looked up to and down at Camille. Camille was barbed wire wrapped in cotton candy with her signature pink hair, pink clothes and cats eye glasses she looked like a harmless ball of fluff, but in reality nothing escaped her eyes or her sharp toungue.  She could be sarcastic, funny, silly and mean. Most people adored Cher right off while Camille took some getting used to.

”“So where is this famous boyfriend we've been hearing so much about with his sexy  bod” Camille teased. Cody booped her on the nose “play nice Duchess.” Camille grinned “I always play nice, but I CAN play can't I” she questioned glancing at the pool area where now most people were watching their small group. Cody followed her line of sight and saw several guys starting to head their way. He was not surprised to see Ashton leading the pack. He’d been pestering Cody for weeks about the new girls. Luke and Calum, Ashton’s bandmates were close behind.

“You must be Cody’s friends. Would you ladies like some help?” Camille was surprised at the accent that accompanied the question. Turning she found herself face to face with a hazel eyed devilishly handsome male. “We probably could get it but if you guys would like to help that would be awesome thank you” Cher answered beaming at the sandy haired stranger.  Camille just looked at him and asked “where are you from? Australia?” He nodded “I'm Ashton, this is Calum and Luke” pointing behind him at his two taller yet equally ridiculously good looking friends

, one blonde and angelic the other dark and exotic.  “I’m Camille and this is Cher.” By this time two more very attractive guys had shown up. Harry who was lanky and covered in tattoos. Tom who was shorter and younger looking than the others but stronger than he looked.

Camille was more than happy to let the guys do most of the heavy lifting. With the guys help it took no time to unload the truck. They managed to get the living room set up and afterwards the three friends insisted on treating the guys to dinner afterwards   Camille took care of the food. Cody and Cher set up beer and shots of fireball. Once the booze started flowing so did the questions. The Aussies were in a band together. Tom was an actor/dancer/stuntman filming a top secret project hoping. Harry had turned success with a British boy band into a lucrative U.S. TV career as a judge on a top rated talent show. Both girls were a bit star struck but Camille was better at hiding it. From the kitchen she could see Cher rummaging through a bag and retrieving her sketchbook. Opening it the guys were completely taken aback as the sweet hippie girl revealed she makes a living drawing monsters  

Cher always got a kick out of showing people her creations for the first time. What began as childhood therapy had earned her a decent living. Three years ago she'd created Vexxed for a graphic novel. That got developed into a video game that had been a major success. Camille had helped her work out a contract for Vexxed related merchandise so Cher had a decent source of regular income. This allowed her to focus on her art and her hobby of being a foot model. “A foot model? Like for shoes? How does that work?” Harry spoke up and Cher melted a little at his British accent. She immediately blushed knowing this was about to get personal. “Um well not for shoes more like taking pictures for people who really like feet” she could feel her cheeks burning but she held her head up to show she was feeling nervous not ashamed.

Camille came back into the living room bringing fresh beers for Ashton, Calum and Tom with the bottle of whiskey in the other hand. She was paying attention to Cher who now had Harry and Ashton looking at her feet and peppering her with questions. She didn't see the extension cord and tripped. Just as she was about to go flying there was a sudden movement at her side. One strong arm wrapped around her waist steadying her while his free hand grabbed the beers out of her grasp. “Careful now hate to waste alcohol” he chuckled in her ear. She looked up to find Calum smiling down at her. “That would've been tragic. Thank you” she replied cursing the universe that the sexiest man she'd ever seen was the one guy in the room with a long time girlfriend. His dark eyes, his strong biceps decorated with tattoos, his lips, those HANDS, Camille tried not to stare certain he could hear the sploosh. She glanced over and saw Cody flash her an evil grin. Suddenly she realized everyone was looking at her. Ashton was asking her a question. “I'm sorry what was that” Camille came back to reality. Ashton grinned at her “So what do you do for a living are you as interesting as your friend here? Tell me you're a dominatrix….Mistress Pink Hair” Cher and Camille locked eyes and burst out laughing. “Call me Pinkstress Cammy” Camille jokes. Luke suddenly sat up straight his eyes wide as he asked “You're not really are you?”  Camille was still laughing “No definitely not but we do know one, and no Ashton I'm not nearly as interesting. I'm a freelance writer but I have a full time gig as a feature on profantasysports.com”

It took everything Cher had not to start laughing again as she watched the boys react. Tom was the first to speak “wait hold on you write for profantasysports?” He looked puzzled for a second. “About fantasy football? Hold on you're...are you Smashmouth Cam?” Camille nodded and Tom looked impressed. Luke spoke up “so you must know a lot about sports for a girl”

Calum was sitting on the arm of the chair and Cher couldn't help but noticed he rolled his eyes at Luke at the same time Camille narrowed hers. Cher knew how much Camille hated that “for a girl” nonsense, and was impressed at how light her response came out. “No sweetie” she breezed back “I know a lot about sports.”

“Maybe you could help me win some money” Harry said with a cheeky grin “is it just American football?” Camille just nodded “no premier league yet sorry.”

Ashton grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the table in front of her. “We're gonna play a game” he announced looking back at Cher before staring down at the girl in pink. Camille glanced around the room. A fourth Aussie, Michael had shown up with his lovely girlfriend.  Cody’s boyfriend Nick had arrived with a nice fat bag and the two of them were rolling two massive blunts. She was a little nervous about potentially getting wasted in front of her handsome neighbors, but she and Cher could drink with the best of them. Besides Cody and Nick wouldn't let anything bad happen. Finally she met the pair of hazel eyes challenging her. “Fine by me” Camille heard herself say “but I'm not drinking that kids stuff, I've got a bottle of Goldschlager in one of these boxes.” “It's in the freezer” Cher told her “and shot glasses are in the box with the blue tape marked emergency drinking supplies.” Camille got up and Calum did as well offering to help. The girls locked eyes for a second. “Are you sure?” Cher’s eyes seemed to ask. Camille wasn't sure at all. This could get messy.  Ripping open the box she found Cher’s Pisces shot glass and her House Targaryen one before selecting some for the guys. Handing Calum the bottle she caught his smile and thought “Fuck it I'm damned if I do, bored if I don't.”

Chapter 2 Heart To Break

[jangyeevns]

plot with me cowards !

with me having two different indies on sideblogs, it's hard to get people to follow one or both, to keep wanted plots for specific muses on each straight, etc. so consider this a mw masterlist for my kids on @dimclos and @perihelicns ! ( also rip my frosh muses.. still can't vibe with them rn sadly )

for @dimclos ( otherwise known as my broad spectrum indie.. that sounds so fucking weird, what am i typing — )

enemies with benefits... on ice??: so hyunmi, aka my ice queen, is my Other figure skater muse who’s a literal demon sgjdfhdf and at one point, she was involved in ice dance before she switched to being a solo skater. and she used to have a partner. so a plot with either her former partner or some random person ( a hockey player would be interesting since she.... doesn’t think of them v Fondly ) who she’d clash with is much needed. literally the least elaborative of the things i should elaborate on gsfkldjdf

convenience store romance: woojin’s my little part-time worker, full-time student and i’m a sucker for cute service worker/customer interactions, so him being one of my more endearing muses makes him the perfect candidate for this !

give my gay girls ( kaeun, yeona ) and... all of my girls actually, some cute gfs or crushes, thanks !

teenage crime: jinri’s a grifter/con artist who moves around a fair bit, scamming the naive or pickpocketing the rich with little guilt for their actions — it serves the latter right, the distribution of wealth globally is fucking atrocious, share it for god’s sake ! enter muse b who becomes their competitor turned partner turned enemy turned.. you get the point. they’re just. a Mess gdskjfdgh

still looking for a resident assistant/resident plot where the younger resident is in pursuit of the older ra, and while the ra’s flattered and flustered, they try their damn hardest to stick to the agreements in their contract — one of which being NOT to be involved with their residents

gimme your older ( 28+ ) muses ! miss alice and other upcoming additions need to be used in Some way !

office romances ?? or snippy boss/equally snippy secretary or employee plots ? thanks

diner/coffee shop crushes: for gyuri mostly, i’m endeared by the idea of a shop employee and a regular in their section who take Forever to work up the nerve to become properly acquainted ( especially if they Always forget to ask for a name or the customer somehow misses the other’s name tag consistently, so they never Actually address each other and give each other nicknames which the other will never hear ) yet one or both of them form a crush very quickly. from then on, it can just be cute, brief chats and slight jealousy when the customer comes in with someone who stays a little too close ( or a coworker seems a little too flirtatious with the employee ) until names are swapped and conversations become more curious

rich brats fucking around, either by doing cracked shit, partying hard and/or hooking up with each other

or, alternatively, rich brat meets someone of a middle/lower class background and they clash hard..... or like each other by the end of their first encounter ??

give me brotps. p l e a s e

failed relationships with flashbacks of better times, but their end isn’t definite and they’ve clearly considered rekindling it often ( though they may never act on it, who knows )

speaking of failed relationships: dayeong was a young bride who’s in the process of divorcing her husband.. so maybe exploring That or an ex prior to her marriage coming around would be cool ?

or: dayeong being a florist, one of those infamous florist/x muse plots can come into play since i’m Soft for them gfsdkfdgs

don’t think i forgot about my boys..... i just dk what exactly i wanna do with a couple of them gskhdffgd

BUT ! maxime’s a piece of shit, h*t*ro french playboy, so give him his female counterpart or a soft baby with Bite

for @perihelicns ( aka my idol/actor/bts worker indie that i have a couple of other muses to add to )

a role model/rising star plot that's more enemies to lovers than anything else: bright-eyed muse a meets their favourite idol ( and crush ) muse b either pre-debut as a fan or backup dancer/extra on their mv, or as a newly-debuted artist under lument... only to see them in a negative light for x reason. some time has passed and muse a has avoided them at every turn, save for instances where acknowledgement before the public is a necessary evil, however they’re soon brought together by circumstance ( be it an appearance on an engaging variety show, being paired on wgm, a collaboration for either’s next album, idk Something ) and muse b has no recollection of the past encounter.. or they remember it differently, at least. cue standoffish, petulant behaviour and flustered states when the other comes too close

leader and eclipse's single mom camille/younger muse, aka robbing the cradle: camille being the eldest of the two groups’ members, she’s taken on a mom-like role with much of the others and the trainees.. maybe even acts like the secondary or tertiary ( idfk, she’s just Like this a lot fgdskfdg ) mom friend to other idol groups outside of lument, and she’s never considered dating even a year younger than herself before; college!camille, albeit a brief stint, was the same way even back then and Always went older. so perhaps she has a crush on an idol/actor/etc she’s just a Bit friendly with, has for a while, only to realize there’s an age gap between the two and she’s the older woman.. an existential crisis ensues and more are quick to come as muse b shows their own interest, doesn’t hesitate to flirt just to see her feign composure or clearly sputter and flush

just ?! wlw and mlm plots where they’re best friends in the eyes of knets but have been dating or fwbs for Ages

stylist/mua/etc and artist: speaks for itself, but something flirtatious that toes the line of inappropriate, or just give me a cute brotp with that type of pairing gsfhfgjds

cute ! industry ! friendships !

cute ! industry/non-industry ! friendships !

exes !

honestly, idk what else to add, but older ! muses !

which reminds me: i still have the company’s ceo and older actors/musicians/models to add so bear with me having Nothing up for them rn

[bedrooming]

character creation tag

i was tagged by @thecadmiuminkwell (thank you so much!) and i decided to do two characters for mine. so i’ll answer the questions for louis because people like him (lmao) and then i’ll also do camille because i want more people to know her. both of these characters are from my main wip, alterations.

1. what was the first element of your character that you remember considering?

louis - his age. i wanted a character that was a little bit older, but not as old as cerdick. i also wanted a very emotional character, and i wanted to be able to exploit his point of view, so i decided that he would have a journal.

camille - camille started off because i created leo and i wanted her to have an ex still in the friend group. that’s it. then this very awesome character was born. 

2. did you design them with any other characters from their universe in mind?

louis - yes! i designed him by thinking of the other character’s actions and how he would react, as well as how he himself would make the other characters react. since he’s a very emotional person, that’s pretty much how i first carved him. idk if that makes sense?

camille - as previously mentioned i created her in the intention of having this ex-girlfriend dynamic with leo, so obviously, yes

3. how did you chose their name?

okay so my novel takes place in current day quebec, which is predominantly french speaking. the characters have french names because of that.

louis - louis, i just love that name tbh. and i thought it was very fitting for a wild, sentimental man. idk. for the last name, cardin is just a common quebec last name that’s easy to pronounce in english and louis cardin sounds cool.

camille - she’s named after my cousin camille because they are very alike. the last name nelson in common in haiti (her father is haitian), and once again, i thought camille nelson sounded cool together.

4. in developing their backstory, what elements of their world played the most influential part?

louis - both his parents were altered (which means they have superhuman sensory abilities). elise (his first serious romantic interest) was not altered, so when cedrick, who IS altered, comes along, he freaks out, because he’s not used to this anymore and not being able to stay secretive about his feelings freaks him out

camille - camille is literally altered... other than that i don’t really know what to add lmao

5 / 6 / 7. is there any significance behind their hair color/eye color/height?

louis - not much meaning in any of these. he is pretty short tho which is convenient because he does stupid shit like climbing in trees

camille - everybody loves her hair because it’s really big and wild and curly. and she’s pretty tall.

8. what do you relate to within their character/story?

louis - his mindless behaviour, doing risky things like climbing on stuff and lighting things on fire and then getting hurt all the time. very me like bitch same

camille - our personalities are very alike, she’s an overthinker and she’s very cartesian. she loves science and plants and space, and me too.

9. are they based of you in any way?

louis - not really, no. that’s a very deceiving answer i’m guessing, but i didn’t have myself in mind when creating him, we’re very different (aside from the ‘getting in trouble and being clumsy as fuck’ thing).

camille - a little. she is kinda based off of my cousin, but off of me too. and her experience with leo is based off of my relationship experiences lmao

10. did you know what your character’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

louis - i knew he was gonna be attracted to men. i knew he was gonna be into cedrick. what i figured out a bit later, was that he is elise’s ex, and elise is non-binary. so i have no idea what his sexuality is and it doesn’t matter, i don’t want to label it

camille - yes, she’s very much a lesbian, and as mentioned earlier she was literally created to be another female character’s ex sooooo yeah

11. what have you found is the most difficult art form in creating your character?

I CAN’T REALLY DRAW LMAO

12. how far past canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story?

louis - his childhood, with his parents.

camille - idk yet but so far, her early teens

13. if you had to narrow it down to 2 things you must keep in mind while working with this oc, what would they be?

louis - first, he gets very easily flustered. second, he cares about people easily and gets attached easily, even if he’s never actually met the person (cough NORBERT cough)

camille - first, she’s curious and loves to learn. second, she loves herself and knows that she doesn’t deserve to suffer. so don’t try to hurt her because she knows better

14. what is something about your oc that makes you laugh?

louis - how god damn ANGRY he gets at his own emotions (especially his feelings for cedrick)

camille - she does a lot of trial and error, which means she fails a lot and it’s hilarious

15. what is something about your oc that makes you cry?

louis - the same thing i just said was funny can sometimes be... not funny and very relatable. the way he doesn’t know how to control the way he feels and gets easily emotionally put off makes him suffer sometimes

camille - how introspective she gets. when she starts asking big questions.

16. is there some element you regret adding to your oc or their story?

louis - idk if the fact that his parents were both altered is really pertinent, so idk if i’ll keep it

camille - i can’t think of anything!

17. what is the most recent thing that you’ve discovered about your oc?

louis - the fact that he cares for leo and really wants her to become a better person

camille - how much self respect she has, not in an egocentric kind of way, but the healthy way. she knows what’s good for herself and she knows to cut the toxic shit out of her life

18. favorite oc fact?

louis - he has tons of lil scars all over and they all have a story about how he did some clumsy shit and ended up hurting himself

camille - she left leo, because leo wasn’t good to her, and she knows that she deserves better. also she loves fishing!

{tagging} @enby-writer @melissaswriting @girlnovels @kit-tells-a-story @skyryf and anyone else who wants to do it (also if i tagged you and you don’t feel like it that’s ok luv)

[fmdxjerome]

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

[buttdawg]

Into the Fire

I rewatched the main even of Into the Fire, because I sort of lost interest in it when I was watching the show the first time.   The problem I’m seeing with NWA is that they’re putting most of their promotional energy into building the World title up, but most of what I care about is on the undercard, which feels somewhat neglected.  

I don’t think NWA is ignoring their undercard at all.   Question Mark is over like rover, and they seem to get that, and Thunder Rosa is over, and Aron Stevens winning the National title seems to be effective.    It’s not like it’s an afterthought, but I do think there’s a lack of focus.  

I’ll put it like this: The main event storyline makes no sense at all.    During the show, they finally communicated to me that James Storm got a title shot some time ago, and he lost clean.    But they kept pointing out that it almost ended in a double-countout until Billy Corrgan restarted that match, and for some reason Storm is pissed about this, even though he would have failed to win the title either way.    So he’s been pissing and moaning about getting this new title shot, which Nick Aldis finally decided to give him, and now James has lost that match too.    That should make James Storm look like a two-time loser who needs to go to the back of the line, but they overbooked the match to the point where it’s so mired in “controversy” that they’ll probably keep the story going. 

Here’s the thing, I still don’t get who the bad guy in that program was supposed to be.      It was implied that Nick Aldis was manipulating everyone in some elaborate scheme, except he had to wrestle James Storm and beat him clean, so I don’t understand why he didn’t just do that in the first place.   Is Camille in cahoots with Nick or James?   If she’s in cahoots with anyone, why did she only get involved on the first fall and not the second or third?   Was Tim Storm in cahoots with Nick?   If so, what was it that he did that the other referees wouldn’t have done?

Personally, I’m rooting against James Storm from here on out.   Fuck that guy.    For a dude who keeps saying “Sorry ‘bout yo’ damn luck,” he sure does whine a lot whenever things don’t go his way.   Sorry about your damn luck, you dope.   How is he supposed to be a cowboy, anyway?   He’s from Tennessee, which I never really think of as cattle country.   He doesn’t wear a hat or chaps to the ring.   His entrance them sounds like a rip-off of a rip-off of Jeff Jarrett’s ripoff of “Cowboy” by Kid Rock.   Maybe James Storm’s gimmick is that he’s actually a poser who identifies as an outlaw roadhouse cowboy badass simply because he owns a truck and lives in a southern state.   But nobody got the layers, so he just ran with “actually a cowboy, somehow.”

I can live with a convoluted main event scene in NWA, but what annoys me is how they pile that on top of all this rah-rah crap about how important the NWA world title is.    The Ten Pounds of Gold.   Sweet Charlotte.   The Real World’s Heavyweight Championship.    Tradition!   Honor!   Traditnor!   Honition!    It’s the same title your father used to see defended by the likes of Ric Flair!   Harley Race!   Dusty Rhodes!    Bullshit, my dad thought wrestling was stupid.   I’m sick of hearing Nick Aldis video packages where he lectures me on how important this storied world title is.    I’m sick of Eli Drake coming out and repeating the exact same talking points.    The Independent Wrestling TV title is just as important in my eyes, even though it’s barely two years old.    Because Warhorse goes out there and makes you care about it with his fiery promos and his frequent defenses.   

You wanna know what I take seriously after last night?   The flag of Mongrovia.    Trevor Murdoch threw the flag on the ground, and Question Mark was so enraged by this flagrant act of disrespect that he got all fired up and won the match.   You think I’m joking, but I’m not.    Mongrovia’s not even a real country, but it’s important to the Question Mark character and that’s what they showed us on Into the Fire.     He’s a patriot.    His costume is patterned after his goofy country.   Aron Stevens took the flag seriously and he’s the new National Champion.    Trevor Murdoch didn’t take the flag seriously, and he got his ass whooped.   We didn’t need a long documentary to get this idea across.  

And that’s the sort of energy and motivation that they need to work into the other title divisions.    The National title is probably in good shape, since Colt Cabana wanted it back so badly, and Ricky Starks and Aron Stevens were so determined to take it for themselves.   It’s a lot better than James Storm treating it like a consolation prize.   What concerns me is that they re-introduced the NWA Television Title, and they haven’t convinced me that they know what to do with it.  

The Tag Division looks like a joke from where I sit.    Wild Card holds wins over the other big teams, and then they lost two-in-a-row to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, who have a combined age of 124.    I’ve got mixed feelings about letting older guys rise to such a level, but the Rock and Roll feels like my breaking point.    They each look like the Crypt Keeper with a mullet.   I get that they’re a legendary team and still popular with NWA’s core audience, but I suspect that a lot of people who love the RNR as sixty-something tag champions are the same guys who complain about Marko Stunt “exposing the business” by being too small to be a credible fighter.    The message NWA is sending is that the best team in their entire division are two guys who passed their prime in the Clinton Administration.   They look terrible and the only reason they seem to have the tag titles is because the other teams are too sentimental or too stupid or too weak to just push them over and take the belts from them.

The message here is that NWA is only interested in nostalgia pops, and the only reason they haven’t stacked their roster with more 1980′s stars is because they’re unavailable.   In other words, Nick Aldis only holds the Ten Pounds of Gold until we can find a way to wish Harley Race back to life.  These guys always talk about tradition in wrestling, but no one ever seems to remember the tradition where guys like Harley Race and the Rock and Roll Express only became legends because the even older guys stepped aside and let them take center stage.  

What I would like to see is a new, young team debut, and kick the shit out of the Rock and Roll and take the titles with authority, because they’re young enough and hungry enough that they can’t afford to worry about how that’ll hurt everyone’s feelings.    That’s why I like Guerrillas of Destiny so much, because those two dudes are relentless in the ring.   They have to be, because no one’s going to take pity on them like Morton and Gibson.   In 2019, nostalgia acts like the Rock and Roll Express shouldn’t be able to get anywhere near the tag titles, because the competition should be too fierce for that.   

The women’s championship is even worse off, because I think I watched the entire NWA women’s division last night, and they only had two matches.   Neither was for the women’s title, which is troubling.   Allison Kay is the champion, and I have no idea why.   She’s surrounded by much more charismatic performers.   Tasha Steelz debuted on Into the Fire, immediately jobbed to Thunder Rosa, and I’m more excited about Steelz than I’ll ever be about Allison Kay.     I feel like the plan is for Thunder Rosa to take the championship at some point and become the woman to beat, but they want to take their sweet time setting that up, and right now Kay is the champion they’ve got.   But the division looks puny and underdeveloped.   Meanwhile, they’re tripping over themselves adding stuff to the men’s world title picture.   They keep talking about how awesome Nick Aldis’s belt is, and all I want to see is Thunder Rosa kick everyone’s ass.   There’s a disconnect there. 

So I’m not optimistic about the TV title.    When they showed it off on the PPV, I had to think back to the last time I even watched wrestling on a literal television set.   The name may be a little dated, for one thing.    I was thinking about how Scott Hall dumped the TV title in the trash once, but that was the WCW version of the TV title.   At any rate, that was in 1999, and dumping titles in the trash was cliche even then.     NWA needs to really work hard to make me care about this thing.   My suggestion would be to put it on Thunder Rosa.   

[camillemontespan]

ten years from now [AU. drake walker x camille montespan] [part two: champagne brunch]

Part One if you want to catch up

I’ve been up since 6am. In that time, I have had three coffee’s, worked out, showered, wore my new kimono around the house (a la Bertrand Beaumont in my HC), watched two episodes of Singapore Social, lunch, and written this. It’s only 1.45pm. Isolation drags man. I’m going to drink wine now. 

@moonlightgem7​ @emichelle​ @ibldw-main​ @mskaneko​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @burnsoslow​ @addictedtodrakefanfic​ @simplymissjulia​ @kingliam2019​ @oofchoices​ @saivilo​ @pug-bitch​ @notoriouscs​ @sirbeepsalot​  @dcbbw​ @katedrakeohd​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​  @rainbowsinthestorm​  @burnsoslow​  @flowerpowell​ @argylemnwrites​

********************************************

Bertrand and Maxwell Beaumont both loved a party. For as long as the citizens of Applewood could remember, the Beaumont brothers would find any excuse to throw a party and make it into an event that would be talked about for months afterwards. They were partial to fire throwing, circus performers and flash mobs. If you were invited to a Beaumont event, you had officially made it. 

As Camille had been Maxwell’s close friend in school, he went to great lengths to ensure that her welcome home brunch would be a brunch she would compare all other brunches to. He and Bertrand had created vision boards and hired a team to pull off the brunch in spectacular Beaumont style.

They had decided on a Marie Antoinette theme. Their manor was decorated to resemble Versailles with gold mirrors, twinkling chandeliers and candles lit on every surface. The dining room was big enough to hold twenty round tables that were decorated with platters of macaroons and bottles of champagne. They had hired waiting staff that wore Marie Antoinette inspired outfits, complete with powdered wigs that towered high on their heads. To complete the theme, a six tiered sponge cake decorated with tiny figures of the Eiffel Tower was placed in the centre of the room as a nod to the ‘let them eat cake’ quote that Marie Antoinette apparently declared. 

‘Why have they settled on a theme that involves the woman getting her head cut off?’ Bianca muttered to Drake, her eyes wide like saucers as she surveyed the room. 

Drake shrugged. ‘Are you really asking if the Beamont’s follow logic in their party planning?’

Bianca sniggered and helped herself to a champagne flute, tossing it back. Drake looked around, hoping for an open bar. He assumed there would be an open bar because the Beaumonts adored alcohol and he would be damned if he was going to drink champagne all morning. 

‘Bianca and Drake Walker, welcome!’ a grand voice came from behind them. They turned to see Bertrand striding towards them with his arms outstretched. Drake stepped back in alarm; Bertrand was wearing a Versailles inspired brocade gold coat, complete with matching trousers. He wore navy suede loafers on his feet adorned with tassels. 

‘Thank you for inviting us, very kind,’ Bianca said warmly, clasping his hands. ‘This is my first Bash!’

‘Oh darling, this isn’t a Bash!’ Bertrand laughed. ‘This is merely brunch! But, I will be sure to invite you two to our next Bash.’ He leaned close, conspiratorially. ‘We’ve decided on a casino theme!’ he whispered. 

A waitress dressed in a pink flouncy dress and violet wig passed with a tray of more champagne. Bertrand reached out to take two glasses and handed them to the Walkers. ‘Enjoy, mon cheries!’ he said cheerfully, before turning swiftly to welcome more guests. 

Drake sighed and swallowed down the champagne. God, it tasted awful. But it was free alcohol so he really shouldn’t complain. Bianca took him by the arm and together, they found their table near the front. Drake smiled. This made a change from always being put near the back. He pulled out a chair for his mother and she thanked him as she sat down, self consciously patting her hair. 

‘You look great mom,’ Drake murmured in her ear. ‘Have fun.’

Bianca smiled gratefully and looked around the room, taking mental snapshots of everything gone around her. Drake looked around too, before his eyes settled on Liam and Camille coming back inside with Maxwell. He saw Liam point to Drake and Bianca’s table; Camille kept a smile on her face as Liam guided her towards them. Drake swallowed hard and drew himself up. 

‘Looks like we’re at the same table!’ Liam said cheerfully. ‘Fantastic. Camille, darling, would you like some champagne?’

Camille smiled. ‘Yes, please.’ 

She sat down opposite Drake and watched as Liam poured her a glass. Maxwell sat down beside her, eyeing the macaroons. He reached out to take a pink one and shoved it in his mouth. 

‘Oh my god, this is heaven,’ he groaned, spraying pieces of macaroon on the table. ‘Oh sweet Jesus..’

Camille giggled and passed him a napkin. Maxwell took it, rolling his eyes, and then helped himself to another macaroon. Drake tried to keep his eyes off Camille; he was fully aware that Liam was sitting opposite and studying everyone intently. 

‘So, Drake, tell me,’ Liam said, pouring Drake a glass of champagne. ‘Camille only briefly mentioned you. You guys were friends?’

‘They were best friends!’ Bianca piped up, sipping her champagne. ‘They dated at one point.’

Camille and Drake both turned red. Liam’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Oh really?’ he asked. ‘That’s fairly important! Why didn’t you tell me, darling?’

Camille shrugged, looking like she wanted to be somewhere else. ‘It was a long time ago.’

‘Very long,’ Drake volunteered, his voice gruff.  ‘Not important.’

‘When did you break up?’ Liam asked. ‘I hope that’s not an intrusive question, don’t feel like you have to answer-’

‘We broke up shortly after we started college,’ Drake interrupted, sick of this line of questioning. ‘Haven’t seen each other since.’

Liam bit his lip. ‘I’ve hit a nerve..’

‘Honey, it’s okay,’ Camille said quickly, taking his hand.  Liam cleared his throat. ‘Okay.. so, Drake, do you have any stories about Camille? Any warnings about her I should know?’

Drake tossed back his champagne before settling his eyes on Liam. God, the man was fucking golden. He looked like he had just stepped off the beach. He looked rich. Drake hated rich people. ‘You’ve got nothing to worry about,’ Drake told him. His eyes flashed to Camille. ‘Except don’t take her anywhere that’s high. She hates heights. Fainted on me once.’

Liam laughed. ‘Really? We’ve been rock climbing with my brother and she was fine then.’ He nudged Camille with his shoulder. ‘Isn’t that right, darling?’

Camille’s mouth pressed into a hard line. ‘I guess I didn’t tell you that I hate heights..’

Liam sat back, surprised at this new thing he had learned about his fiance. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I didn’t realise.. Why didn’t you say?’

Camille gave him a small smile. ‘I didn’t want to ruin your fun.’

Drake studied her now. There had been a time when Camille would have said she didn’t feel comfortable. She stood up for herself. But it seemed like now, she didn’t. That made Drake sad. Clearing his throat, he stood up. ‘I’m going to find some whiskey..’ he announced to no one in particular, before turning to leave the table and a very awkward Camille.

*********************************************

Drake aged 16; Camille aged 15

‘Come on, Camille, not far to go!’ Drake hollered over his shoulder. ‘We’re nearly at the top! The view’s gonna be incredible!’

‘Uh huh…’ Camille replied back, her breath coming out in heavy pants. Realising he was leaving her behind, Drake stopped to let her catch up. 

The two of them had been bored at home. Gisele and Bianca had chided them both to go out and enjoy the sunshine. Now, they were going on a hike up the hills behind the ranch and Camille was regretting the decision. 

‘Jesus, Camille, you’re so unfit,’ Drake teased. Camille flipped him her middle finger. 

‘Shut up, Walker. I need water.’

Drake opened his rucksack and took out the water bottle, tossing it to Camille. She swallowed the water down in gulps before pouring some on top of her head, drenching herself. 

Drake laughed, shaking his head. ‘Was that necessary?’

Camille fixed him with a steady stare. ‘Was it necessary to trek all the way up this damn mountain?’

‘It’s a hill,’ Drake corrected her. ‘Not a mountain.’

‘It’s still up high.’

Drake smirked. His eyes suddenly lingered on Camille for a fraction longer than needed; the water had trailed down her chest and her skin glimmered from the droplets. Drake felt his body react in an alarming way. 

‘Uh, okay, let’s keep going,’ he said quickly, turning to walk further up the path. ‘Last one there has to do the other’s math homework all week.’

They trekked up the path until they reached the top twenty minutes later. The landscape of Applewood was laid out before them. Drake smiled as he saw the diner where he and Camille went for burgers; he heard his stomach rumble. Yeah, a burger after this would be delicious. 

‘Camille, wanna get a burger after this?’ he asked, turning to his friend. 

She was standing near the edge, looking down at the ground that was feet below. She was swaying from side to side and her skin had gone pale. Drake started over to her, reaching out to take her by the hand. ‘You okay?’

She collapsed.

‘Fuck, Camille!’ Drake shouted, throwing himself down to his knees to bring her up to him. Her eyes were closed. ‘Fuck, fuck, Camille, wake up!’ he cried desperately. His mind went through the next steps. What did you do if someone fainted? He thought back to Health class. He couldn’t remember a thing, which made sense because he never paid attention in Health class. 

He scrambled to reach into his pocket to take out his phone. He needed to call his mom. But, he realised with frustration that there was no signal. 

‘Fucking piece of shit!’ he cursed, throwing it into his rucksack. 

He pushed back Camille’s wet hair. Scanning her body, he saw that her jacket was tied tight around her waist. Quickly, Drake untied it, hoping that she would be able to breathe better if she didn’t have it restricting her. 

‘Camille, wake up,’ he pleased. ‘Please wake up or your grandma’s gonna kill me.’

Picking up the water bottle, he opened it and tossed the remains of the water down on Camille’s face. 

She bolted up, coughing and spluttering.  Drake sank back, closing his eyes. ‘Oh thank God..’

Camille rubbed her eyes harshly and blinked hard, looking around at her surroundings. ‘What happened?’

Drake opened his eyes. ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ he asked. ‘You fainted on me. Jesus, Camille!’

Camille stared at him in shock. ‘I fainted? What?!’

With a strangled cry, Drake reached out to pull her into him, holding her close. He felt her hands reached around to clasp his back and together, they rocked back and forth. 

‘Don’t fucking do that to me again,’ he murmured, his voice cracking. ‘I was shit scared.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Camille mumbled into his neck. ‘I didn’t mean to. I guess it’s the heat and the heights?’

Drake sighed. ‘You tellin’ me you’re scared of heights?’

Camille nodded. ‘I guess I am. I didn’t realise that till now.’

Drake pulled gently away and his eyes met hers. ‘Well, now we do,’ he said, giving her a weak smile. 

Camille giggled softly and together, they stood up, still in shock. 

‘Burger?’ Drake suggested. 

‘And a milkshake, please,’ Camille said. ‘Now.’

Drake laughed and they turned to go back down the path towards safer ground.

********************************

There was an open bar, thank god. Drake ordered a whiskey on the rocks, relieved to drink something that wasn’t bubbly. He didn’t notice Camille come up behind him until she gently touched his arm. 

‘Hey.’

He jumped. ‘Camille-’

‘Can we talk?’ she interrupted. ‘Outside?’

Drake nodded mutely. He followed her through the room and out through the French doors to the orangery. The Beaumonts loved orangeries. 

Camille gestured for Drake to sit down at the table. They sat opposite each other and Drake waited for Camille to speak. 

‘So I think we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot,’ she began, looking at him seriously. ‘I don’t want us to be awkward. It’s an a tricky situation and quite frankly, I shouldn’t even be talking to you, but I also want us to clear the air and just move forward. Liam didn’t know we’d dated. I wasn’t going to tell him. But he knows now, so I suppose we better work out how we are going to act around each other.’

Drake sighed. ‘Camille. Stop.’

Camille blinked. ‘What?’

Drake closed his eyes and tried to find the words. ‘I should be the one trying to clear the air,’ he said. ‘I’m the one who hurt you. I’ve never apologised for that-’

‘There’s no need-’

‘I’m sorry,’ Drake interrupted. ‘I really am. After being your best friend for so long, I really fucked things up at the end. I feel guilty. I appreciate you inviting me to this brunch but I don’t deserve it, Camille. I’m a shit person. But don’t worry about how we’re going to act around each other because after today, I’m going to leave you be. You can enjoy your time back home without having to worry. You won’t see me again.’

Camille stared at him, her brown eyes unreadable. Quietly, she opened her clutch and brought out a piece of paper. She handed it to Drake. ‘We always used to be on the same page,’ she whispered. ‘What happened?’

Drake frowned and looked at the piece of paper. His heart sank. It was her wedding invitation inviting him. 

‘I’ve given one to your mom and Bianca,’ Camille told him. ‘I.. I want you to come, Drake. I miss our friendship. I wish things hadn’t panned out the way they did but it can’t be helped. You don’t have to come but I like to think it’ll help us heal.’

Drake studied the invitation. He felt a mixture of feelings. Grief. Sadness. Regret. He tried to summon happiness at her newfound joy but he found that he couldn’t. 

‘I appreciate the invitation,’ he told her. ‘But-’

‘I shouldn’t have done this,’ she cut in, panicking. ‘Too weird, too awkward. It’s fine, just give it back and I’ll shred it. You don’t have to come. It’s all good.’

Drake clenched the invitation. He thought back to Camille’s childhood dreams of her wedding and how fun it would be for Drake to be there. How important he would be. She said that she would have him be her best man. Of course, that plan soon changed as soon as they started dating. When Camille made him promise that they would be together ten years in the future, she had visualised Drake becoming her husband instead. Now, if Drake attended, he would be relegated to a middle row, watching his ex-girlfriend get married to someone who wasn’t him. 

**************************************************

Drake, aged 18; Camille aged 17

Drake liked the feel of Camille’s hand in his. She had small hands and soft skin, the complete opposite of Drake’s calloused bear paws. 

Camille was walking along the wall, holding onto Drake’s hand as she did so. It was the week after the two of them had lost their virginities to each other. The world felt new to them, a world ripe with discovery. Drake felt happier than he’d ever felt in his life. He had the girl. He had the college. He had the future all planned out. 

He listened as Camille planned their future. She skipped along the wall, talking without pausing for breath. ‘So, if we get married, we’re definitely gonna do it at your ranch,’ she told him. ‘Outdoors in the summer. We can get married on the jetty! How cute would that be?’

Drake chuckled. He couldn’t believe their friendship had evolved to one that discussed huge topics like marriage. He liked it. ‘That would be very cute,’ he agreed. ‘How many people?’

Camille thought to herself. ‘Only our closest friends and family. The important people.’

‘Of course,’ Drake said. ‘I like your thinking.’

‘And my dress will be all bohemian!’ she squealed. ‘I’ll have a rose crown in my hair! And you can wear a waistcoat and cute shoes.’

Drake wrinkled his nose. ‘Do I have to wear a waistcoat?’

‘You’re marrying me, so yes,’ Camille said bluntly. ‘And your vows have to be romantic. Like, nauseatingly romantic. I want you to say how I’m the most beautiful woman ever! And you can’t live without me!’

Drake smirked. ‘Wellll….’

Camille jumped down from the wall so she could hit him on the arm. ‘You’re such a dick!’

‘I’m just sayin’, if Britney calls, I’m gonna have to ditch you,’ Drake teased, pulling her close so he could tickle her. Camille hated being tickled. 

‘Aaaah get offff!’ she protested. ‘You are not ditching me for Britney! You know how much I love her!  That would be a betrayal of epic proportions!’

Drake laughed and let her go. Their hands stayed wrapped around each other as they wandered down the street. ‘Your wedding plans sound perfect,’ Drake finally said. ‘I’m a lucky guy.’

Camille grinned. ‘Just think. We’ll go to college, get amazing grades, graduate, find awesome jobs and move in together. We can live in New York and own a cute apartment with a dog.  Then we’ll get married and move back to New York, upgrade to a townhouse and become a power couple! I totally see it. The Walker dream.’

Drake squeezed her hand. ‘We’ll make it reality.’

********************************************

Drake put the invitation in his pocket. ‘I’ll be there,’ he told Camille. She drew back, astonished.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah,’ Drake said. ‘It’s your day. I wanna see you get your happiness, Montespan. You deserve it.’

Camille smiled. ‘Thank you.’

Drake stood up and held out his hand for her to take. ‘Start over?’

Camille nodded. ‘Sounds good.’ She took his hand and shook it. ‘Friends?’

‘Friends.’

********************************************

Together, they wandered back into the dining room and sat down at the table. Liam kissed Camille on the lips while Bianca poured Drake another glass of champagne. Drake saw that Savannah had now joined the table and was introducing Camille to Bartie.  Gisele and Maxwell were talking in low tones, clearly caught up in conversation. 

Drake decided to make an effort with Liam. He cleared his throat. ‘So, how did you meet Camille?’ he asked.

Liam and Camille exchanged sickening looks. ‘We met at the Met,’ Liam answered, his eyes never leaving Camille’s.

‘Yeah, we met at the Met!’ Camille giggled, raising her hands and shrugging self-deprecatingly. ‘It was such a meet cute.’

Bianca frowned. ‘What’s a meet cute?’

‘It’s when two people meet each other in a charming way!’ Maxwell crowed. ‘Like, romcom style!’

Liam chuckled and pointed at Maxwell. ‘You got it! Yes, we met in a charming way. Let’s see.. So I like to visit the Met on Saturday mornings to wander around. I love art, you see, I collect it. Anyway, I was wandering, totally caught up in thought, when my eyes found this beauty standing in front of Starry Night..’

Camille was blushing. Drake sipped his champagne, wishing it was whiskey, as he listened to this vomit inducing story. He scolded himself - he was trying to get to know the guy. Give him a chance. 

‘I had to say hello,’ Liam continued. ‘And she turned to look at me and god, her eyes.. The most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen. They put all the portraits around us to shame.’

Bianca, Gisele and Maxwell audibly sighed. Drake resisted the urge to dry heave.  Savannah looked non-plussed. 

‘I introduced myself, asked for her name and the rest is history..’ 

Savannah’s eyes met Drake’s. She rolled her eyes, making him smile. Good to know that she was thinking the same as him. 

‘Is that why you’re getting married at the Met?’ Bianca asked.

Camille nodded. ‘We wanted to come full circle.’

Liam grinned. ‘It’s going to be such a grand affair! We’ve invited everyone we know. God, we’ve got like.. 200 people coming. The museum has let us hire the top floor as a private space. I can’t wait. Then the reception will be at the Plaza-’

‘The PLAZA?!’ Maxwell shrieked. ‘Oh my god, oh my god!’

Drake was regretting trying to get to know Liam. But when his eyes met Camille’s, he could see the uneasiness she was feeling. Did she feel uncomfortable? Anxious? Embarrassed? He thought back to when she had planned for her hypothetical wedding with Drake. She hadn’t been embarrassed then. Drake sipped his drink. He was reading too much into this.

Camille tore her eyes away from Drake and poured herself another glass of champagne. She wished Liam would stop talking. As he talked about their wedding plans, Camille couldn’t help but feel that they had planned too much. Hiring the top floor of the museum? The plaza? God, she was such a fucking New York socialite. She felt like Drake was judging her. Of course he would scoff at their wedding plans. He liked simple things. As Liam kept talking, Camille felt more self conscious. She couldn’t help but think that Drake was studying her for every detail to see how much she had changed. She wasn’t this girl from Texas anymore. Hell, her Texas lilt had been ironed out after years of being in New York. She looked different. She acted different. 

She felt like a fraud. 

‘More champagne?’ Maxwell asked. ‘We have a champagne fountain!’

‘Ooooh, where?!’ Bianca cried, clapping her hands. ‘How fun!’

Yes. Fun. 

[letsplayscrabble-blog]

feels like the first time. [ch. 1]

author's note: hello all and welcome to my new little pride and joy- "this feels like the first time." it's an au linstead fic and i'm thinking of making a story out of this and continuing for quite a while- but only if i get feedback! this first installment focuses on erin lindsay and kind of dives into her dark and messy backstory (yes, it's heavy) which varies a little from the show. it's set back when she's in her early twenties. the next chapter will focus on jay. leave me reviews and comments because reading all of those make my entire day. happy reading!

The flickering and sputtering neon lights of the bar's namesake flashed just off to her right, like a pathetic beacon of hope and warmth, the first three letters of "Goldie's" nestled in the shadows and buried in a heaping pile of snow, having burned out a few months prior in one of Chicago's ravaging blizzards. "Die's" was all that remained and she didn't bother to stifle a bitter chuckle at the irony as she ducked her head and eyes in the direction of the ground and began to cross the street, careful to avoid any more piles of mush and mud and snow because she was pretty damn sure her toes were purple or maybe even black and in the process of detaching from her body. Her fingers weren't faring any better, shoved so far down into the pocket of some ripped and bedraggled Cubs sweatshirt that the pathetic excuse of a fabric was tearing further at the stitches. Of course the church's lost and found box was going to be a waste.

Just like the damn college prep school which promised her that "living out her own faith" or "loving herself as a person worthy of love" would bring her some streak of good fortune or something if only she could manage to behave and keep her temper in check until graduation and if only she believed that the great man upstairs could see little ol' Erin Lindsay and feel an ounce of regret for dealing her this deck of cards and all these shitty circumstances. But because apparently living with an ass of a cop and his wife and his son in his perfect little house with his perfect little family had been the extent of her lucky break, a whispered rumor of her dealing heroin out of the locker room during a basketball pep rally of her senior year had been enough to seal her expulsion, and the warning she had given to some miserable excuse of a preppy snot of a girl to back the hell up out of her business had been enough for the administration to completely terminate her enrollment and to pool the anger in Hank Voight's eyes and the disappointment in Camille's. Had been enough to send her upstairs to what they had begun to call her bedroom with all of her things tucked nicely and neatly inside and suddenly that was the last place she ever wanted to be. It took her only four minutes to pack a suitcase with all of her belongings, a suitcase that wasn't even really hers but that she was sure Hank could afford to miss. She was down the hallway, down the stairs, and then out the front door before any of them had moved from the kitchen table, the slamming of the front door an almost foreign sound in the serenity that was their life. How easy it was for them to have a warm meal on the table, or scalding hot water whenever they needed the comfort of a shower. How simple it was for them to keep the electricity running and a fair assortment of clothes in their closets. Erin knew she wasn't being fair or smart in any sense of the word as she stepped down onto the sidewalk and then down their driveway, onto the street of the suburban neighborhood and then finally realizing she didn't have a shot in hell at making it somewhere for a warm cup of coffee that night but the sinking feeling in her stomach and the tightening of her throat caused her to keep moving hastily away from the only safe place she had ever really known, without giving him a chance to comfort her in soft whispers and murmurs of her favorite soft and scratchy gravelly voice he possessed. Because she was just a street kid and he had given her a chance to make something of herself and she had still found a way to turn it straight to shit. Because after all the abominable acts she had committed in her eighteen years of life she was certain that she deserved the life of scrounging for money from men who just wanted a quick fuck or the slight comfort of an empty mattress nestled in a dark corner of a bustling shelter that if she was quick enough or looked pathetic enough someone would let her sleep on for a few hours. Yeah, maybe that's just where she belonged.

But it had been three years since she walked out of Hank Voight's house. Three years since she'd refused to answer any of his calls and hid in her poor excuse of a mother's apartment wacked out of her mind whenever he found a spare minute out of the bullpen and off of a case to come searching for her. Three years since she'd failed to graduate high school, failed to follow her dreams of joining the police force, failed to escape from the poisonous clutches of her drug addict of a mother and a prisoner of a father, locked up for god only knows what but at least she didn't have to feel his hands tightening around her neck or the sting of a slap across her cheek whenever she didn't have the balls to stick a bottle of whiskey under her shirt and sneak out the tiny flap of a bathroom window in the Shell gas station because she was tiny and innocent and maybe the man behind the cash register would forgive her if she didn't make it across the parking lot to the waiting motorcycle and the man her nightmares revolved around that she got the pleasure of calling her father.

There had been three years of avoiding that ass of an Intelligence sergeant and slumming it on the streets when her mother forgot to pay the electric bill but managed to find comfort in the arms of some disgusting creep of a man who probably paid her for the heroin that never seemed to leave the four walls of that damn apartment or maybe just paid her for the vulgar moans of her pretend pleasure but whatever the reason was Erin could never stomach being anywhere near the woman who'd somehow earned the title of her sole caregiver because she'd walked away from Camille's gentle eyes and warm embraces and Hank's concerned frowns and gruff grunts of appraisal whenever she brought home an essay or exam she'd passed because he believed in her and her brain and the fact that she not only had street smarts but a hell of a lot of book smarts. Three years of selling heroin for a solid chunk of change because even though she'd gotten rid of her sad excuse of a high school boyfriend who was nearly twice her age and actually into the blonde, big boobed hooker type she still worked the drug business with her mother, and discovered she still made a bigger pile of bills when she tacked on the promise of a strip show or a half hour of mindless fucking which made her feel numb and dirty and shameful for weeks.

But Goldie's, or at least the old, frail man who had run the cash register and owned the place for the past fifty years had given her a chance these last few weeks, promising her what was left of the burgers and fries and a fountain soda if she stayed to wipe down the place after hours though to be honest she was sure more than anything she was simply keeping him company. He hummed as he counted all the bills and she couldn't hide the urges she felt to give him a good shove and bump and snatch all the money and maybe make it home to her mother to pay the water bill and the electricity bill and hell maybe even splurge on a good steak and some nice red wine before she got there but the good parts of her, the parts of her that knew deep down in her heart that she would make a decent cop and maybe even one day a decent human being stopped her every time, as did the gurgling and sharp pains of her starving stomach. The cold streets were a tiny bit more bearable with the comfort of a full stomach.

The bell above the door dinged then, as she was in the midst of shoving a ketchup soaked french fry into her mouth in a feeble attempt to soothe her ravenous stomach. She realized then she forgot to lock the door, much too focused on the enticing smell of her long awaited meal and opened her mouth to at least explain that the place was closed but the men walking in the general direction of the bar and the liquor and the old man behind the counter and her were all in uniform and one in particular with piercing blue orbs eyed her a bit longer than all of the others and she lost every single damn word that she meant to say. Fidgeting with a loose string on the sleeve of her poor excuse of a sweatshirt which really should have been a winter coat, Erin hoped and prayed she didn't reek of the streets or of the damn drugs or hell, even one of men she'd had on top of her only a few hours ago because the blue-eyed stranger was still looking at her and she had never before been at a loss for words and it was then she knew that she was in trouble.

[5hfanfiction]

All strings attached - Chapter 3: The meeting.

I had spent the rest of the day with Lauren walking around New York and going unnoticed by everybody as ‘Camila Cabello the girl who left Fifth Harmony’ instead it was just us. Lauren and Camila from Miami. Or Jourdan and Penny, depending on how you want to look at it.

But good things are over fast and within the next couple of days we were being flown out to LA for a meeting with Epic, Maverick and SyCo. At trust me when I say that these meetings never ended well. We’d always try and voice our concerns or new ideas we had for our tour or albums we wanted to write, but they got inevitably shut down and ignored because we were “a product and products don’t have opinions” as would our entertainment manager Larry Rudolph always say to us.

Today was game time and we had one job, to find their narrative and poke holes into it. The label had to push an angle to sell to the media and I already had a feeling they would be making me their scape goat, like they hadn’t already.

We had all travelled separately and we told to come to the headquarters unnoticeably, so Lauren and I had to catch different flights. She had caught the one earlier, whilst I stayed and tied up a few lose ends with out 'team’ who were responsible for every leak and source of truth out there.  At the moment they were currently leaking all of the unreleased songs form our previous albums and I had to say I was pissing myself with laughter trying to watch our management take them down, but as fast as they were removing them the faster they were being leaked and downloaded by out real fans. Most of this was just to serve as a distraction to all of our real planning to take down Epic. That was the main objective. If we took down Epic, we took down Maverick and Syco would soon go tumbling after seeing as they were districted differently.

I made my way up the flight of stairs to the board rooms were they held meetings and was met with a bunch of  middle aged men in suits. “Ahh, Camila finally.” He said placing his massive paw for a hand on my shoulder and steering me into the board room into the empty chair three spaces down from Lauren and directly across from Normani, whilst Ally and Dinah were also sprawled apart across the long table. I noticed they did this as a form of intimidation, we were harder to break down when we were untied, so they separated us across the table and dotted business men between us so when they turned their attention to us individually we felt singled out and to be honest it was a genius method of their part because it worked, they had away with words that made you feel so small and dumb.

“Right, let’s get this show on the road ladies.” Rudolph spoke from his position at the end of the table and gestured to L.A Reid.

“Before each of you, you will see a contract. Ladies,” he gestured to Dinah, Ally, Lauren and Normani, “Yours are the same as your previous ones with some additional documents that need looking over.” He said, but their was a subliminal message to his words, I could feel it and I didn’t like it very much.

The girls all picked at the small stack of papers, glancing over the long winded jargon, but not having a chance to read over them yet and trust me when I said it took a while. There was so much in our contracts that I still didn’t understand until they pulled moves, like kicking me out of Fifth Harmony, making it very obvious that their were sub-clauses.

“Camila you have a new contract to sign.” He spoke swiftly moving onto the next topic as I freaked out.

“But I don’t have my lawyer with me?!” I splurged out, whilst the girls shared fearful horrified looks with me. By this point we had all grown to hate contracts.

“That’s okay, we have supplied you with one.” He lifted a hand signalling for a guy - in yet another suit! Seriously Do these guys think they’re being original or what? - to come over. The poor guy looked really young and completely out of his depth and therefore I completely did not want him analysing my contract.

“No way!” I laughed bitterly. “I’ll be calling my lawyer, actually she should be here in a bit.” I sprung the news of our new lawyer on him.

“And who is you lawyer, miss Cabello?” He asked, sounding slightly irate.

“Dina Lapoult.” I announced sharing a brief smirk with Lauren who was looking over at me devilishly.

“You have the same Lawyer as Fifth Harmony.” He stated more than asked.

“Well last time I checked I was Fifth Harmony!” I couldn’t help myself and bite back. “Besides we share the same entertainment lawyer so why not share the same lawyer?” I asked calming down.

“Fine. Give her contract to read Miss Cabello and we will go over some other details now.” He spoke sifting through some new documents.

“Right well I guess we’ll start with you Miss Jauregui.” At soon as her name left his mouth I looked over to check on her, because no matter how many fronts she put up, she was the most vulnerable one out of all of us. I guess she was more “exploitable” than the rest of us. She had that look about her that you couldn’t help but become fascinated by the green eyed girl. And I hated it for one of two reasons; One: They were treating her inhumanly, like she wasn’t a person with feelings and life outside of Fifth Harmony and Two: She was MY fucking girl and I didn’t appreciate people ogling her and treating her like a piece of meat.

I could tell just from glancing at her that she felt panicked, because her breathing had hitched ever so subtly and eyes kept darting from looking at the table to looking at him as she tried to remain unbothered.

“As you’ll see in the documents presented before you we have full right to disclose any given information we see fit. You however Do not!” He practically growled at Lauren and from the moment we al knew what this was about, though I can’t say we were surprised, we knew the risk we were taking when we decided to leak that audio.

“Sir-” Lauren started, but was interrupted, but i appreciated her attempt at trying to remain civil, because I sure as hell couldn’t do that.

“No, Miss Jauregui. I think your vocalness has done enough damage, don’t you think?” He patronised and Lauren nodded her head quietly in shame, but I knew she wasn’t really and I tried to suppress my smile at the stellar performance Lauren was putting on and how wound up L.A was getting. “As I was saying, we have full right to disclose any information within you life in order to sell you.”

God that made me angry! “Sell” her?! Like she was some damn prized cattle! I seethed sitting further into my chair, trying to remain calm. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an overly aggressive angry person…at all, but when someone messes with Lauren things are different and I can’t seem to control my need to protect her fiercely.

“Which is where I come in.” Larry Rudolph chorused in from the other side of the large oval shaped table.

“Yes.” L.A nodded approvingly, sharing a genuinely happy smile with the other man. “Since you so desperately wanted to come out of that ridiculous 'closet’ of yours.” He mocked and I was two seconds away from blowing my lid, because we ALL knew how much Lauren had struggled with that and he was here mocking it. But before I could say anything Normani chimed in.

“Um- excuse you, but you don’t talk to my friend like that, not if you don’t want to be know as the biggest homophobe going.” Normani said politely, but there was a warning tone to her voice.

L.A didn’t offend mess with Normani (and if I’m being honest with you, I think he’s a bit scared of her. ) but that doesn’t mean Normani didn’t get her fair share of abuse thrown her way, because she did and I was partly to blame for it. During the on going feud between the 'Camilizers’ and 'OT4 shippers’ started by our management team as a way of generating speculation of tension within the group Normani had received a large amount of hate that changed the way she looked at herself a lot, and I would always be to blame for that no matter how much she told me I wasn’t because at the end of the day I was. They were my so-called fans who attacked her.

“I was not being homophobic I was just simply stating a fact.” L.A said in typical straight white male fashion and I had to resist the urge to scoff at the top of my lungs because we all knew that wasn’t true. L.A Reid was an extremely homophobic man, who did not respect the LGBT struggles and only saw it as a ploy to generate more money. In fact it was probably why him and Rudolph got along so well. Rudolph was know for exploiting his LGBT celebs, though I don’t think he meant any harm by it. In fact I think he believed he was helping by allowing them to at least be partly honest, which is why Lauren struck the deal with them.

It was why I struck the deal with them. But Lauren didn’t know…and we planned on keeping it that way.

I had sold my soul to the devil and there was no way of getting it back.

“Lauren,” Rudolph addressed her in a slightly nicer tone than L.A had. “What I need from you is more pictures of you and this-” he rummaged though his papers looking for a name - “Lucy vives. We are really going to want to push this angle if we want to make I believable-”

“It is believable. Lauren’s bisexual get over it.” I mumbled aggressively enough that everyone around the table heard me. Not that it was hard to hear because the room was so silent with the exception of whichever power hungry suit was talking.

“Calm down sweetie, he never said she wasn’t.” A lady sat between Ally and Normani spoke up and guess what? She was also wearing a goddamn suit!

“Thank you susie. I meant the relationship and well, yes partly her sexuality because people are trying to discredit it already.”

“But the hashtags?” Lauren questioned sounding upset and defeated and I wanted nothing more than to be able to hold her hand and tell her things were okay and that their opinions didn’t matter.

“Oh yes. They were very real. That wasn’t started on our part.” Another young looking man with silverish hair jumped in and Lauren nodded, but it was too late the doubt had been planted in her mind and it was going to take a lot on our part to shake it from her mind like the girls and I had done so many times as they made her release statement after statement denying her sexuality. Except this time I wouldn’t be around as much to tell her things we going to be okay.

“But those my dears are your fans. We’ve got them where we want them and they aren’t going anywhere. That much we know. It’s the general public we need to sell to now.” And I nodded because what he was saying did make sense, so I couldn’t object though I can’t see why anyone would object to someone else’s sexuality, but before I could voice my opinion Dinah did it for me.

“Why wouldn’t they believe it though?” She asked, disgust evident in her voice and there was a slight pause at the table before the same woman as earlier spoke up.

“Well, you know sweetie, I had a friend ask me the other day if bisexuality was a trend. So do you understand why we have to push this idea?”

Idea? What the fuck?! I honestly didn’t believe any of these people could distinguish fake from realty anymore. It was a wonder how they slept at night.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?!” I raged.

“I’m am advisor honey. My job is to stay clued in on what people are talking about, where they are putting their money and what they believe and…don’t believe.” She explained and I internally rolled my eyes at her sickly sweet tone.

“Miss Cabello. Could you please calm down? Or we’ll have to do this meeting without you.” L.A threatened and I decided to pipe down and let Lauren handle it, she was always better at controlling situations than me.

“So you just need pictures of me with Lucy?” Lauren asked.

“Yes, looking quite close though-”

“Not, like kissing or anything right? Because that was a one time deal and people still haven’t calmed down about it.” Lauren complained.

“We must strike while the iron’s hot.p, but no they don’t have to be anything intimate - just enough to keep people speculating.” Larry continued.

“But what if I don’t want people speculating? What if I want to be public about my actual relationship?” On that I quickly flicked my head to look at Lauren shocked. She had always wanted to keep us private for fear that the fans and media attention would destroy us.

“Hmm…well who is this person?” He asked flicking through the papers in front of him, looking for the answer that he wouldn’t find.

“A girl.” Lauren started but flicked her eyes to me, asking if it was okay to spill the tea and I wasn’t to sure but I nodded because I trusted Lauren and she wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“Right, well that helps us to push the point a bit more,” Lauren rolled her eyes, “But I am going to need a lot more information about this person before I can even consider it. Like are they in the industry? Do they have a good rep? Age?…and preferably a name?” Rudolph went on, not even looking up front he stack of paper in front of him.

“Oh no.” L.A cut in, shooting that horse in the face. “I know exactly where this is going Miss Jauregui and I’ve said no. I’ve been saying no for almost five years.”

“Yes well! The first time you said no because you thought it wouldn’t last, then we couldn’t because of dumb PR relationships that didn’t even work!” Lauren said, but her voice was getting angrier as she spoke,  “And then you said know because you thought it was unprofessional of me to date someone in our group!” There was a collective gasp around the room, but Lauren had lost it now and there was no going  back, so I let her rip lose as she stood up from her chair, making herself seen as well as heard. “Well you know what LA,?! I don’t care anymore! I’ve given away the best few years of my life to you, hiding and being ashamed and it nearly destroyed me. So I am begging you. Please, just let me have this one thing?” Lauren asked softening her tone exasperatedly, because I knew she was sick of fighting all the time.

“Lauren, it’s just too risky. I’m sorry.” L.A said, but this time I didn’t feel mad, because he genuinely sounded sorry for denying us…again.

“Fine.” Lauren whispered defeatedly, sitting back down in her chair with her head low.

“Why don’t we all take a break for five?” L.A offered, “And then we can regroup and discuss further plans.” He said stepping back into his business man shoes and I felt everyone stand up and shuffle out, whilst sending mysterious looks over to us, trying to figure out who Lauren was dating, but I’m sure most of them knew. All you had to do was time our name in any search engine and the proof would come.

We even tried leaking proof of it a few years ago with what we thought were very obvious pictures, but people ignored it or speculated but didn’t want to be the first to say for fear of backlash, because our Harmonizer, as lovely as they are, could be harsh to people they thought had wronged us.

“Lauren?” I called standing up and making my way over to her chair and standing behind it wrapping my arms around her neck from base she sat.

“I’m sorry, Camz. I tried."  Lauren said dejectedly.

"Don’t let it get to you Laur, I’m still here and we don’t need their approval to be in a relationship.” I told her, rubbing her shoulders trying to alleviate her stress.

���Camila’s right Lauren.  You don’t need other people’s knowledge of your relationship to make it any more real.” Ally tried.

“I know, but I’m sick of hiding. I feel like I’ve always been hiding a part of myself.” Lauren confessed into her hands and not looking at us.

“Trust me, I know how you feel. But you don’t have to hide anymore Lolo.” I told her softly. I had hoped making the deal would have made things easier on Lauren, but apparently not or maybe she just needed more time for things to settle down.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Lauren said and sat up like the truth of the situation had just hit her. “I have no right to be complaining when your still-”

“Ssh.” I hushed gently stroking her hair. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not ashamed of myself and I’ll do it when the times right.” I soothed her worries, even though I knew that it was a lie, because I wasn’t ever coming out, at least not under our current management, which was all the more reason we need to get out from underneath them.

“Dina’s here.” Dinah announced looking up from here phone, where had obviously just gotten the notification.

“Great.” I clapped my hands. “Let’s get this show on the road, ladies. And might I say Miss Jauregui that was a stellar performance earlier.” I put on a fake fancy voice, which made Lauren burst out in laughter. I felt better now that I had made her smile, that was the only thing I wanted in life- to stand by Lauren’s side and make sure that beautiful smile never left that beautiful face.

I made a move to walk back to my seat when Lauren grabbed my wrist and pulled me in for a kiss. It was short but sweet (just like Ally), but sometimes those were the best kinds. “Don’t let 'em break you.” Lauren said staring intensely into my eyes, before letting me go to sit back down in my seat as everyone piled back into the boardroom, but this time with Dina Lapoult hot on their heels.

“Okay,” L.A started clapping his hands together sitting down in his massive chair. “Seeing as we now have your lawyer present let’s get these contracts signed.” He said but the annoyance was clear in his voice.

“Actually Mr Reid.” Dina spoke up and I knew it was starting, “before we do anything I have a few documents for you to look over.” She said placing several forms in front of him. “They are all on the behalf of Fifth Harmony so don’t worry.” She said with underlying sarcasm.

“What is this? You’re claiming rights to Fifth Harmony’s name?” He asked baffled and I couldn’t help but smile as we had him shook. “Trevor get over here and read this.” L.A beckoned a middle aged man, who looked to be in his fifties, over to read the paper.

“It basically states here that Lauren Jauregui was sold the trademark of Fifth Harmony’s brand name along with several others such as; H4rmony and fourth Harmony.” I didn’t like that one much. “However the trademark is owned by Dinah Jane, Normani Kordei, Ally Brooke and Lauren Jauregui.” The man explained, his voice growing smaller and smaller as he continued on despite L.A’s pissed face.

“You mean to say you went behind my back and brought Fifth Harmony.”

“In all due respect L.A, we are Fifth Harmony.” Ally said calmly.

“And Simon sold it to us, so we didn’t go behind anyone’s back.” Normani joined in, countering L.A’s argument.

“Fine.” L.A said seething.

“Great,” Dinah clapped her hands, “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, Camila, let me see this contract.” Dina spoke, holding her hand out for my documents and began reading through them in a chair in the corner of the room and I watched her face for any bad signs. “No!” She stood up abruptly, shaking her head. “This won’t do. You’re claiming rights to all information regarding Miss Cabello’s private. Little did she know that was part of the deal I had struck to free Lauren so there was no getting out of that without making Lauren’s life a hell of a lot worse.

"For PR purposes.” Larry Rudolph defended.

“No. I will not let my client sign her life away.” Dina said sternly, smacking the files down.

“Look, if there’s no contract, there’s no album and we will drop Miss Cabello altogether.” L.A shrugged indifferently,

“Your bluffing.” Lauren shot up, fearful.

“Hardly, Miss Jauregui. Do you know how many other brown eyed brunettes there are just waiting for a record deal, like this?” He patronised and I could see Lauren’s body tense up as she was about to rip into him, so I quickly intervened.

“I’ll sign the contract. Just tell me the details and I’ll do it.” Lauren flicked her head to me sending me a warning glare as if to say 'Don’t do this’. “Pass me a pen.” I said, looking away from those familiar green eyes and down to the contract in front of me as several pens were thrown across the table in my direction. I took Dina’s gently from her had and gave her a small smile as if to say it was okay, which we all knew it wasn’t.

“You are basically signing to allow both the record company, management and anyone affiliated with those teams are allowed to use parts of your private life for publicity stunts, whether or not the truth is distorted-”

“So you’re basically going to make shit up!” Lauren fumed.

“Lo.” I warned, sharing a look with her to get her to sit down. Right now she looked like she wanted to kill everyone in this room, including me.

“You will also be agreeing to have statements and stories put out on your behalf; in magazines and tabloids for example.” Dinah continued on. “They will also have the right to obtained and withdraw any information regarding your private life and have complete control over your image creatively.”

Whoa…

My head was already spinning from that information and the prospect of losing full control of my life and everything- everyone in it.

But, I picked up the pen and signed. For Lauren.

A/N: I’m an awful proof reader, so sorry for any grammatical errors or incorrect spellings. I could read this shit a thousand times over and still not see it. 😁 ,

Feel free to suggest any future storylines you would like to see. I have a rough idea of where I’m going but the other input is always welcome. Enjoy. Comment, vote and all that malarkey!

Wattpad: Midnightcrossings