#again. I'm not opposed. deep contemplation about what that means.

[diabeticgirl4]

A while ago my mom was chatting w one of her friends (whom I've known for years) and afterwards my mom told me that I came up in the conversation and the friend referred to me as "a they" (mom's words) and. I'm not sure what to make of it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Hmm.

[kozu-chan]

synopsis: keeping up with a society that expects you to be perfect is exhausting in every way possible. you're lucky enough to have found someone who relates to navigate this brutal world with.

content warnings: fem! reader, cursing, insults, bullying if you squint, mentions of insecurity, a bit of fighting, mentions of mental health, and sakusa might be ooc but that's just to make the arguments a little more dramatic.

sour masterlist

growing up, you were a perfectionist. although this wasn't necessarily your fault, was it? at the young age of four, your parents discovered that you were, and maybe still are, gifted with talent for music. this led to years of guitar, piano, violin, flute, singing, and even harp lessons. throughout the years, you went through many concerts and hours upon hours of practicing your various instruments. this led you to attend the infamous itachiyama academy in high school and that was only the beginning of your troubles.

as a perfectionist, you dedicate yourself not only to your music, but to your studies as well. sadly, even you can't manage to balance school, music, sleep, and a social life and one of those things have to give due to your busy schedule, so you sacrifice your social life. sometimes you think that this was the wrong move because that just makes high school practically a living hell for you. that is, until about a week ago.

last week, you had a regular morning. you walk through the halls of your school and people do their best to avoid you, to not get in your way. however, that doesn't stop them from gossiping about you. "wow look at l/n. little miss perfect." "i dare you to talk to her!" "she's such an ice cold perfectionist." "i could never be friends with her. she's too serious." "does this bitch even have a life?" you ignore the comments as you make your way to your first class. sometimes you just want to yell at them to stop talking about you. to tell them how much it hurts you and how being such a perfectionist is exhausting. to let them know that their comments only add to how lowly you think of yourself. that you wish that you had even one friend because you feel so alone.

after school, you spend hours in the music room practicing a song you were thinking of performing, something self-written as a way of releasing your emotions. and once you think your practice is sufficient, you curl up against the wall and cry.

once your crying session is done, you get up and walk back to your dorm. on the way back, you see someone in the gym do an insane serve that slams down that just barely makes it in. you hear a groan of frustration followed by the oh so familiar sound of breath getting shaky due to crying. your gaze follows the sound to see the figure on the floor crying and your breath gets caught in your throat when you realize it's not just any player, but one of the top three aces in japan, sakusa kiyoomi.

"sakusa-san?" sakusa looks at you with what looks like a bit of fear but anger replaces his expression before you could confirm your suspicions. "what the fuck are you doing here? this is a private practice." his tone is cold, firm, and piercing. you could feel a chill run down your spine, but you ignore the feeling because other people, especially your parents, have been on the receiving end on your own tone that sounds just as menacing. the only indicator of crying being the red, slightly watery eyes that you can't help but sympathize with. "what are you staring at?" you snap out of your thoughts to respond to him. "i saw you on my way back to my room. i just happened to see you crying and i-"

sakusa sighs again in frustration. "and you what? just shut up and leave me alone!" "i just know what it's like, okay? you really think that you're the only one who's tired of not feeling good enough? the only one who's cried because you just want to get better but you don't see any improvement no matter how much you practice?" your voice is loud and yet on the verge of tears. you glace at sakusa, who now looks angrier but you don't care. "so sue me if i come off as a ice cold bitch who doesn't talk to anyone because i do anything and everything i can to be perfect even if i always fall short and sue me for sympathizing with you."

the room grows quiet, save for the sounds of your shaky breathing as you try your best to calm down before you actually start breaking down in front of him. it takes another few seconds before sakusa stands up and walks up to you. "l/n, right? yeah well you don't know me and you should just get out of my sight. you shouldn't be trying to get someone to stop crying if you're just going to cry yourself. just relax more." relax more? "that's rich coming from you." you're no longer crying and sakusa stops in his tracks.

"you're telling me to relax more when you don't seem to have any chill... ever. and let's not forget that your crying was what brought into the gym in the first place." you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "so... the gym is like your safe space, right?" sakusa doesn't answer, clearly exasperated and silently begging you to leave. "c'mon, sakusa-san! you can tell me!" you smile a little when he opens his mouth to talk, only to be disappointed by his response. "god, you're such an annoying bitch. go find someone else to bother!" you're disappointed but you're also persistent. after all, you are the one that figures out and teaches all the schoolwork you struggle with to yourself. "if it makes you feel better..." you sigh quietly and contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to expose yourself this much to someone you just started talking to. "if it makes you feel better, my room and the music rooms are my safe spaces." "it really doesn't. if anything, it just makes me feel even more pathetic!" a small smirk graces your features as you realize that you got him. "so this is your safe space? i didn't hear a denial!" sakusa rolls his eyes. "would you shut up already" "not until you admit it." he glares at you and you just look him dead in the eye, causing him to break (probably so you would shut up as he thinks you'll do if he admits it). "fine... the gym is my safe space... that you're encroaching on." you back away slightly because he was right. and you know that you would also be pissed as fuck if someone encroached on your safe space, especially while you were crying. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help. but, maybe we could be each other's safe spaces?"

you mentally sigh in relief as sakusa looks just the slightest bit more comfortable upon hearing that. "i mean, you know what it's like so... i guess i wouldn't be opposed to that." the two of you give each other a small smile as you sit down a good length away from him. "god, it's brutal out here, huh?" sakusa lets out a small laugh and agrees.

"sakusa, are you really gonna go pro like they say you are?" sakusa looks at you for a second and nods. you even notice his eyes lighting up a little. "yeah, that's what i want. it's what i've wanted for as long as i could remember. i wouldn't work so hard for it and get so dirty if it wasn't my dream... what about you? are you going to become a musician?" now it's your turn to pause. you freeze up. it's been so long since someone's asked you what you wanted. "i... honestly? i don't know what i want anymore. it's been so long since i've been asked what i wanted. it's been so long since someone's seen me outside of the "little miss perfect" that everyone else sees... i don't know." you take a moment to recollect your thoughts. "i just hate the thought of disappointing people that i think i've lost myself in the process. i've been pursuing music for so long that it's familiar, it's instinct, and i can't see myself doing anything else because i haven't done anything else..." your voice gets quieter as you speak. this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to voice out your thoughts to someone and your own revelations shock you.

"yeah, i think i'm getting there too. losing myself to satisfy everyone while trying to stay true to myself. after all, who am i if not exploited?" it takes a minute to digest the words that were so simple and yet so powerful, the six words that could be used to summarize your entire life. "it sucks, doesn't it? like all i did was try my best, and this is the kind of thanks i get? annoyance and isolation? awards and acknowledges of achievement but at what cost? my social life? my mental health? ... my identity?" sakusa looks like he's going to say something but you shoot him a look and his mouth closes to let you continue. "it's literally so fucking stupid! there's literally no actual reward for me anymore, nothing satisfying. it's all worthless - meaningless, even. sometimes i wish i could disappear..."

a small breath is sucked up and you turn to sakusa. "sorry that was heavy. i've just never had someone to talk to about this. at least not properly."

"i get it. i haven't really had a lot of people to talk to either. at least not that honestly. i'm glad we have each other now, because you were right. it is brutal out here and it's good that we can stick together now."

after that, no one really bothered you anymore and it was all thanks to your new friend and confidant.

a/n: sheesh this is one of the longest things i've written. i really hope you like it and i'm really sorry that i suck at endings!!

[djappleblush]

A night of mishaps (Born Again fanfic)

So let's just pretend that while Soo Hyuk, Sa Bin, and their team were investigating the Donggang mummy case, there were a lot more encounters that had occured between our #FormalinCouple. Their relationship deserves so much more good angst and development, y'know. This fic happened between the car accident scene and Sa Bin's experimental kiss. Here goes:

Jung Sa Bin examined herself in the mirror one more time and signed.

She was currently in her private suite in the NFS dressed in a black mini dress. She had just come from a party earlier that night that the Seoyeon univerty arranged in a hotel for the new professors, and since she was the newest addition to the staff, not to mention the youngest, her presence had been highly expected.

Sa Bin had been more than ready to throw away her heels and call it a night, but she had been called on an emergency at NFS that she could only groan to herself in frustration. There goes her plan for an early bedtime.

She had taken a deep breath and ignored the throbbing on her feet, and then she had walked straight up to her department head and excused herself, then exited the banquet hall in a hurry and went out to hail a cab that took her directly to her lab. It was already halfway through the NFS that she'd realized she left her coat in her seat. Sa Bin had closed her eyes tightly in utter frustration and screamed in her head. Now she had to walk around in nothing but her dress in the cold weather.

When she'd arrived at the NFS, Sa Bin had gotten off the cab and entered the building with her head bowed. She'd ignored the stares she received and almost run to her private suite. She'd run into Seo Young down the hallways and her colleague had looked at her and smiled apologetically. "You look like you were having fun tonight. Too bad we ruined it."

Sa Bin then felt her feet protest in her heels. She was about to assure her that she was more than glad to have escaped the party but decided against it. Instead she only nodded and smiled back. "It's no problem at all."

Sa Bin had headed to her suite to change, but stopped on her tracks at the door when she'd realized with a gasp that she had also forgotten to bring a change of clothes and shoes.

Now she was there in front of her mirror, looking at herself and wondering how she could be so stupid. For a minute, Sa Bin berated herself for being so forgetful before something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Turning her head, she saw her white coat hanging on the rack. She stared at it as though it was the first time she'd ever seen it and that's when an idea struck her, making her smile.

Finally, Sa Bin put on her white lab coat and secured the buttons closed, before marching towards the autopsy room feeling quite proud of her ingenuity. A moment later, she was joined by Seo Young and they quickly set to work.

‐----------------

Kim Soo Hyuk was not in the best of moods, as he had been in the past couple of weeks since he took on the Donggang mummy case. His irritation was partly because of how messy the case had been, but the main cause of his ire was no other than a particularly well-meaning but headstrong woman at the NFS: Jung Sa Bin.

The woman actually had the gall to oppose him. Had the circumstances of their meeting been different, he could have admired her spunk, but not when she was directly making his life harder.

Soo Hyuk narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of the NFS building just a block away. He made up his mind to get her to work with him no matter what as he sped his car toward his destination.

-----------------

Sa Bin was busily engrossed in proofreading her finished report in front of the computer when she heard Seo Young's phone went off. Her colleague answered the call. Sa Bin didn't let that distract her and went back to her task, eager to finish so she could finally go home and get rid of her heels and makeup.

That was until Seo Young hung up the phone and abruptly turned to her. "Sa Bin-ah, Prosecutor Kim will be joining us in a short while."

That made Sa Bin turn her attention to Seo Young. For some odd reason, just the mention of the Prosecutor's name made her heartbeat erratic. She had been in an argument with the man in the few times they had met, and she knew she could take him head on despite his domineering nature. But lately, specially after their last encounter in the hospital when he saved her life from the car accident, Sa Bin found herself getting nervous just by thinking about the Prosecutor or just by hearing his name. It had never happened to her before and she was afraid to contemplate why she felt that way. Sa Bin swallowed and carefully hid her sudden nervousness with a blank expression.

"Prosecutor Kim?" She repeated, unable to keep the strain from her voice. "What business does he have here?"

"He has some documents to pick up. He'd asked me to prepare them in advance. Also..." here, Seo Young stared at her that made her insides squirm.

Sa Bin blinked. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Well," she began cautiously. "Prosecutor Kim mentioned about wanting to discuss something with you."

She was about to clarify what that meant when the glass doors opened and Kim Soo Hyuk himself came strutting in, wearing his pinstriped suit and that silent but palpable confidence of him that made him as intimidating as he had looked the very first time she saw him.

The Prosecutor's piercing eyes zeroed in on hers and they locked gazes for a few seconds, before he looked away and turned them on Seo Young.

"Prosecutor Kim," Seo Young acknowledged in a cordial manner, while Sa Bin only stayed silent as she slowly turned away and unconsciously tightened her lab coat around herself. The rhythm of her heartbeat had doubled and it was so loud she became afraid the two would hear it. She pretended to study the bones neatly laid across the autopsy table, trying to calm herself while wondering what's happening to her.

"Did you prepare the documents, Professor Yoo?" Sa Bin heard Soo Hyuk asking, his voice uniquely deep and masculine.

"Yes, I did." Seo Young answered. "Wait here a moment. I'll get them from my office."

Oh, gods. Sa Bin silently screamed when she heard Seo Young walk out. She knew her colleague did that on purpose to give her and the Prosecutor some privacy. She wasn't ready to face him, nor be alone with him! She fought the panic that threatened to engulf her. What could the Prosecutor possibly want to discuss with her?

Just then, Sa Bin gasped audibly in surprise and backed away when she felt a presence behind her. Turning, Sa Bin saw that Soo Hyuk was now only a few meters away from her, his eyes boring on her widened ones.

"What are you doing?" She almost shrieked.

Soo Hyuk furrowed a brow and cocked his head to the side. "You seemed so busy it looked like you didn't even notice I'm in the room." He stated matter-of-factly, though his eyes hinted that they both knew it wasn't the case.

Soo Hyuk suddenly looked her up and down, an unreadable expression on his face.

Sa Bin felt extremely conscious when she remembered how she looked that night. Discreetly, she looked down to see if her lab coat had opened to reveal her minidress. She signed inwardly in relief when she saw that nothing was amiss.

Sa Bin waited for him to say something. After all, she looked so different that night, with full makeup on and her hair tied behind her back with matching dangling earrings. Not that she was looking for a compliment from him, of course, since Soo Hyuk didn't look like the type to give one. But surely he noticed her unsual appearance and was bound to comment on it.

Sa Bin was disappointed, however, when Soo Hyuk spoke about something entirely different from what she was expecting.

"Any developments on the Donggang mummy case?" Though his tone was businesslike, his words held a deeper meaning.

This wasn't lost on Sa Bin who raised her chin and met his eyes, completely forgetting that just a second ago, she unconsciously wanted to get a compliment out of him. "I have nothing more to say to you, Prosecutor Kim. I know you told Professor Yoo that you want to discuss something with me, but if it has anything to do with making me cooperate with your illegal dealings, then you're just wasting your time."

Sa Bin was quite proud of how steady her voice had sounded despite her nerves going haywire. She expected the Prosecutor to snap at her in anger, but instead he only stared at her as though he was searching her face for something. And then he smirked, which unnerved her even more.

"I don't usually go about scaring women, ms. Jung Sa Bin, but you might just be an exemption."

Sa Bin's eyes narrowed. "And you think you can scare me?" She challenged. "You think so highly of yourself, Prosecutor Kim."

"Perhaps," Soo Hyuk drawled, his eyes glinting with dark intent. "Either way, you'll cooperate with me."

"What are you planning to do?" She asked in sudden alarm, unable to stop herself.

"We'll see." He was starting to walk away when she stopped him with her words.

"Would you.... would you really resort to something like that if I didn't cooperate?" She didn't mean to, but her voice lost its strength and instead came out vulnerable. Unbeknownst to her, it struck something primal in Soo Hyuk.

Once again, the two locked eyes and Sa Bin felt as though her heart would burst, specially when Soo Hyuk inched a little more closer than she was comfortable with. She fought the instinct to take a step back when he was finally within her personal space. His mere presence seemed to have enveloped all of her senses, tickling her nostrils with his clean and exquisitely masculine scent that seemed to have ingrained itself in her subconscious.

Sa Bin snapped out of her reverie and noticed that Soo Hyuk's eyes were no longer mocking, but had a strange emotion in them. It made her breath catch in her throat. If she didn't know any better, she would have mistaken it for tenderness. But it couldn't be.

"I admit, ms. Sa Bin," She was startled to hear his voice again, now low and sounded much like a caress. "I do enjoy scaring people, but I'm not looking forward to doing that to you."

Sa Bin's lips parted in part shock and part wonderment, all of which were painfully apparent on her face and Soo Hyuk was staring at it in silent scrutiny.

"Then... you do know I can't just-"

"So don't give me a reason to." He interrupted.

Sa Bin was at a loss for words. She was too busy staring at those dark, deep eyes of his that seemed to speak into her very soul, and it didn't help that Soo Hyuk appeared to be doing the same. She was just about to speak when the door opened again, and Soo Hyuk nonchalantly stepped away from her as Seo Young entered.

Sa Bin let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. She watched Seo Young walk over to Soo Hyuk and hand him some folders, unaware of the tension that had transpired between them.

"I have already included the latest updates in these documents," Seo Young said. "Just call me if you have any more questions."

Soo Hyuk gave a curt nod in response.

Seo Young turned to the silent Sa Bin. "Sa Bin-ah, are you done with the report?"

Sa Bin clenched her fists in an attempt to silence her thundering heart. "Ah, yes. I am." She answered absent-mindedly.

"Then we'll call it a night. See you tomorrow?"

"Ah, yes, see you tomorrow." Sa Bin wanted to bang her head on the table for being so conscious of Soo Hyuk's presence. She stole a quick glance at the man to see if he noticed her inner struggle. She almost recoiled in shock when she discovered he was indeed looking at her. She decided it would be best if she left already to prevent humiliating herself further.

Crossing her arms tightly around her chest, Sa Bin muttered a quick "good bye to both of you," before scurrying out of the autopsy room as though she was being hounded.

-----------------

Soo Hyuk watched in grim amusement as Sa Bin practically ran out the autopsy room. He could tell that she had been intimidated by his subtle threat, and instead of feeling elated about it as he had wanted to, it surprisingly brought a bitter pang within him.

Sa Bin was just as stubborn and headstrong as he was. The last thing Soo Hyuk expected from her was to fear him. For some reason, when she did, a strong urge to wipe it off of her had compelled him into action. He couldn't believe he had acted against his own nature and actually offered her an indirect reprieve from his threat. He had to suppress a sign from escaping him as he remembered what he had done. He would never admit to it, but something inside of him rebelled at the thought that Sa Bin's fear would make her distance herself from him. He told himself he needed her because of her knowledge of the case they were both working on and nothing else. But something was still nagging at the back of his mind.

Damn, Soo Hyuk grumbled. How can she affect me like this even when she's not in front of me? That stubborn woman!

Yoo Seo Young's voice brought him out of his musings.

"I'll go ahead, Prosecutor Kim. I still have to straighten some things out in my office."

"Yes, go ahead." He answered, and the professor bowed and walked out.

Soo Hyuk followed suit and headed down toward the basement parking lot, his mind filled with the day's events and of one, specific woman.

---------------------

Sa Bin slowly walked out of the NFS building on her heels and white lab coat. She knew she looked silly with the lab coat on but she'd rather go home in it than just her dress and no protective shield for the cold at all.

When Sa Bin reached the sidewalk, the streets were already dark and empty. Well, good. No one would see her walking around in her special coat.

Sa Bin pulled out her phone to check the time. It was already one fifteen in the morning. Only a few cars were on the road. She decided to walk a few blocks away from the NFS building to wait for a taxi in case Seo Young or worse, Prosecutor Kim, drive by and risk spotting her.

As Sa Bin kept on walking, she couldn't stop wincing. Her feet felt like they were on fire from wearing her heels all day. She approached a lamp post and leaned on it while bending a little to massage her aching calf. Suddenly, her stomach growled.

Great! She sulked as she straightened and wrapped her arms around her middle. Not only are my feet hurting, I'm tired and hungry, too. When will this misery end?

She jumped in shock when a loud beep suddenly reverberated in the night. Sa Bin quickly snapped her head to the direction of the sound and she paled considerably when she noticed a familiar car parked across from where she stood.

Oh, god, please. What have I done to deserve this?

Sa Bin's face was set in a kind of grimace when the window at the passenger seat of the car rolled down and it revealed Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

"Where is the excavation site?"

"What?" She squeaked in confusion.

"You're still wearing your lab coat I thought you're on your way to another excavation. Is out here the extension of your lab, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk said mockingly.

Sa Bin gritted her teeth at him as her cheeks reddened. "What do you care, mr. Prosecutor?" If he thought she'd give him an explanation for the lab coat, he had another thing coming. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Get in." He ordered.

Sa Bin froze and stared at him. "What?" She asked dumbly.

The Prosecutor threw her a pointed look. "Get in, ms. Jung Sa Bin. It'll take you at least an hour to wait for a taxi this late."

"Thank you, but I'd rather wait that long." She answered smugly.

"Yes, and do you know how many women had been kidnapped and murdered within that time frame waiting out here on a deserted street in a week?"

"That's not going to work on me, you know." She said despite feeling a bit of fear about that information.

"Didn't your feet hurt?"

She gasped at his sudden change of tactic. "How did- wait, were you watching me?" She asked incredulously.

"For five minutes. I could already tell your feet were about ready to give up."

Sa Bin was blushing furiously. "Excuse me-"

"You're wasting my time. Get in before I drag you."

"Alright, I'm getting in." Now Sa Bin didn't relent because she was afraid of getting dragged - although she knew full well that by the look on Soo Hyuk's face, it wouldn't be above him to follow through with his threat. The truth was that in spite of herself and her nervousness around the man, she felt safe in his company. Prosecutor Kim Soo Hyuk exuded the aura of a very capable and dependable man.

Sa Bin pulled open the car door on the passenger side and settled back on her seat comfortably. The way she sunk on the soft upholstery almost made her purr in delight, specially how she could finally relax her aching back and legs. She could now see how stupid she would have been if she'd refused Soo Hyuk's offer. She closed her eyes in utter contentment.

After some time, she couldn't still feel any movement from the man beside her, so Sa Bin opened her eyes to look at Soo Hyuk, who she caught staring at her unabashedly. Sa Bin felt her cheeks burn and her heartbeat became erratic again.

"Yah! What's the matter?" She asked in mock anger to hide her feelings.

"You forgot to buckle up." Soo Hyuk answered dryly.

"Oh. Uhm, sorry."

--------------------

As Sa Bin twisted to the side to reach for her seatbelt, Soo Hyuk readied to step on the accelerator, but a flash of white in the corner of his eye made him turn his attention back to Sa Bin again.

It was then he realized that the flash he spotted was actually Sa Bin's creamy, white thighs that had been revealed when the hem of her lab coat had ridden up because of her movement.

Cursing silently, Soo Hyuk immediately straightened up and averted his gaze as his hands instinctively tightened on the steering wheel while he fought to banish the images that had suddenly popped in his head.

He willed himself to focus on the road as he drove on. Why Sa Bin was wearing that white lab coat of hers outside NFS he would never know, and he'd rather be struck with lightning than show her a sliver of his dying curiosity, specially about why she was looking so exceptional tonight. Did she go on a date earlier that evening?

Of course, he had noticed her unusual attire since back in the autopsy room, and he admit Sa Bin was a beautiful woman. When he'd arrived at NFS, he didn't expect to see her looking more radiant than he'd ever seen her before. Her delicately soft and smooth facial features that had been tastefully accentuated by her makeup and tied hair, along with the image of her long, shapely legs beneath the hem of her lab coat and her dainty feet encased in black stilettos had been seared deep in his memory that he was sure only a brain damage could ever remove them. He had to still himself for a brief moment to regain his composure. It was odd. It wasn't like he hadn't had his fair share of beautiful women, but no other woman had ever had that effect on him, not even his own fiancèè.

He had also seen the way she looked at him as though seeking for his approval, but the sudden reminder of Sang Ah had made him decide to keep his mouth shut. He figured it wouldn't be in her best interest to show his appreciation, no matter how much he wanted to, lest she take it the wrong way.

Soo Hyuk slowly took a deep, calming breath. It was so unlike of him to be preoccupied of things outside his work. Discretely, he stole a glance at Sa Bin. He didn't know if he should be relieved to see that she had pulled her coat down or lament about it.

Goddamn it! He cursed again as he realized the direction of his mind had taken. For goodness' sake, stop acting like a hormonal teenager.

Soo Hyuk knew he needed something to distract himself from the woman on his passenger seat.

As if an answer to his prayer, Sa Bin spoke up. "Prosecutor Kim, can you drop me off at the corner mart? I need to buy something." The mart she was talking about was a good two blocks away from her home. What could she need to buy there at this hour with her sore feet?

You idiot. It's the best option if you really want to spend less time with her in your car. That mart is nearer than her house. His mind screamed at him.

Soo Hyuk ignored the other part of him that protested. Strengthening his resolve, he looked at Sa Bin briefly and nodded, and then he focused back on driving.

--------------------

Thankfully, mercifully, Sa Bin and Soo Hyuk finally reached their destination with nothing more shared between them but silence, each of them preoccupied with thoughts of their own.

Soo Hyuk pulled over across the mart. Sa Bin quickly unbuckled herself. The need to be away from Soo Hyuk had never been stronger than that moment. She needed the space desperately to calm herself and get her heartbeat back to its normal rhythm.

Sa Bin turned to Soo Hyuk. "Uhm... thank you for the ride, Prosecutor Kim. I'll get off now."

When he only looked at her without saying anything, she pursed her lips and took that as acknowledgement before exiting.

Sa Bin didn't look back as she walked towards the mart.

Half an hour later, Sa Bin had finished eating her two bowls of noodles at the corner table provided by the mart for their dine-in customers. When she had walked in wearing her lab coat, the male cashier had looked at her as though she had grown two heads, but Sa Bin had ignored the man. There had been no other thought in her head at that moment but to fill her stomach with food, and no one can deter her from her goal.

She'd only realized how hungry she truly was when she peeled open her bowl and the sweet aroma of her noodles wafted into the air, filling her senses with its delicious promise of fulfillment. So hungry, in fact, that she was able to finish everything in record time, not pausing or giving any attention to her surrounding or at the couple of other people seated opposite her. In her hurry, she accidentally spilled some noodles on her lab coat. The hot soup came in contact with her skin as it soaked both her coat and her dress, and she gave a startled cry. She stood up and was forced to take the coat off. The cashier, who had been restocking the shelf and saw what happened, hurried over to her with a roll of tissues. Sa Bin gratefully accepted his assistance, noting that he was smiling widely at her.

"You stained your coat," he said in an amused tone. "You must really love your job, doctor."

Instead of correcting him, Sa Bin only smiled and nodded, wondering why disaster after disaster kept happening to her that night.

"But it's ok, though," the cashier blabbered on. "You look great in your dress."

Again, Sa Bin didn't say anything and only kept smiling, hoping he would get the hint that she was in no mood to talk. Thankfully, he caught on. After assuring the cashier she was alright, he left her to go back to his task.

Sa Bin signed and then picked up her belongings and the empty bowls to dispose of them in the bin, and then at the last minute walked back to the shelf to buy two more bowls to take home with her. She'd also added some apples, bananas, a cheese and ham sandwich, and a huge bottle of orange juice. For the moment, she ignored the pain on her feet as she paid for her items and headed out the door.

"Have a nice evening, doc!" Sa Bin heard the cashier call out from behind her. She briefly looked back over her shoulder to flash him a smile and walked out.

Sa Bin had walked half a block away from the mart when she finally stopped on her tracks. The pain on her feet had become unbearable that she could no longer walk a step further. Not even the cold distracted her from her pain. Sa Bin dragged herself against the wall and tried to think of something.

I might have to get amputated for this. Oh, damn. It hurts so much. Whoever thought heels were perfect footwear for women obviously didn't think this through. She grimaced. It seems like I have no other option.

Sa Bin held her grocey bag and lab coat in one hand, and then she looked up and down the street to make sure no one was around before she used her other hand to steady herself on the wall as she stepped out of her heels.

A deep sign of relief escaped her lips as she felt her feet come in contact with the cold, rough ground. The feeling of muscles that had been finally released from squeezing pressure felt so exquisite. She massaged her calves and wiggled her toes to relax her feet more. And then she picked up her heels and began to walk away, praying she wouldn't run into anyone. She shivered as the cold night wind breezed through her.

It's just another block from the apartment. Sa Bin assured herself. I'll just soak my feet in soap and disinfectant when I get home. I'd rather crawl than walk again in those cursed heels! Maybe if I ran for it-

Sa Bin almost screamed when a loud beep sounded off behind her. Immediately, she felt her heart race. She swallowed and slowly turned around, imagining a black van filled with masked men ready to abduct her.

She could have died of embarassment right there and then when she saw who was the owner of the car. She was on the side of the driver and was looking directly at Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

-------------------

Soo Hyuk knew he should have driven away, but for the life of him, he didn't know why instead of driving home right after Sa Bin got off his car, he found himself parking on the side road and waiting.

He shouldn't care about her, that's what he kept telling himself, but the fact his mind was screaming that it was already almost three in the morning and the streets were deserted kept him from leaving. He was reminded of the night when she'd encountered a drunkard on her way home and he had come to her rescue as though it happened only yesterday. He could still clearly remember the anger and anxiousness he felt that night thinking Sa Bin was in danger. The urge to rescue her had felt like a burning, insistent need that can't be quenched until he had made sure she was alright. It had only been by sheer control that kept him from getting off his car and pummeling the drunkard. And right now, that same protective feeling was back. Looking straight ahead, Soo Hyuk kept his eyes trained towards the mart's entrance.

It was forty five minutes later when he finally spotted Jung Sa Bin emerge from the mart. Soo Hyuk's hold on the steering wheel tightened and he frowned when he saw that she was no longer wearing her lab coat but was carrying it on her arm along a bag of groceries. She was now only on her black mini dress, her long legs and alluring figure in full view. She looked so different from her everyday attire of blouses, pants, and sneakers. No wonder she kept the lab coat on.

Sa Bin didn't notice him and walked on the opposite direction. He waited until she was a good distance away before following with his car. That's when he noticed her lean against a wall and take off her shoes. Soo Hyuk's frown deepened.

She isn't seriously gonna walk home barefoot, is she? His answer came when Sa Bin picked up her stilletos then resumed walking. His eyes narrowed to slits. Well, damn.

The thought that she'd have to suffer like that - and the possibility that some other man could see her dressed so sexily and think of doing something funny - was more than enough reason for Soo Hyuk to make his presence known to Sa Bin, so he honked and pulled over right beside her.

-----------------

"I don't think it's beneficial to your health to walk around on the street and in this weather without any shoes on."

Sa Bin got over her shock and instinctively held her stuff to her chest as though to hide herself from him. She could feel her cheeks burning in extreme embarassment. At the same time, she was filled with wonder at Soo Hyuk's sudden reappearance.

"Wh-what are you still doing here, Prosecutor Kim?" She couldn't help voicing out. Then something else occured to her. "I thought you left. Did you wait for m-"

Sa Bin immediately shut up and backed away as Soo Hyuk stepped out of his car and faced her, fixing her with those piercing eyes of his that never failed to make her heart race.

She watched in awed silence mixed with confusion as Soo Hyuk wordlessly took off his jacket and deftly draped it around her shoulders. Sa Bin's eyes widened and she was about to open her mouth when Soo Hyuk took her arm and guided her to the passenger side of his car.

"Prosecutor Kim, you don't hav-"

He cut her off by practically shoving her in after he opened the door for her. She decided it was best to stay silent and just let Soo Hyuk drive her across the remaining distance to her house.

It took them only three minutes to finally reach Sa Bin's home. As Soo Hyuk parked outside her residence, Sa Bin swallowed her nervousness and turned to the Prosecutor.

"You shouldn't have bothered to wait for me and take me home, but thank you, anyway."

"A simple "thanks" would have sufficed for my trouble." Soo Hyuk answered tonelessly without looking at her, which made her want to roll her eyes.

"I didn't ask you to wait for me, now did I?" Sa Bin said in annoyance. She took a deep breath to calm down, telling herself that she owed him and that she shouldn't be so snarly. "Ok, fine. Thank you for your trouble, Prosecutor Kim."

Her change in tone made him look at her. She expected him to throw her another sarcastic remark but what he did next surprised her.

Soo Hyuk stepped out of the car and Sa Bin watched as he rounded to her side, opening her car door for her.

Sa Bin suddenly felt sort of out of her element. She didn't expect Soo Hyuk to have such a gentlemanly side. He had seemed to be the type who couldn't be bothered by things that didn't concern him.

Clutching her belongings, Sa Bin got off, still barefoot. She was careful not to let her dress hike up as she alighted from the car.

Soo Hyuk was watching her with faint concern. Sa Bin looked at him sheepishly.

"I... I guess I already owe you big time, Prosecutor. I've been such a bother." She looked down at herself. "Can you hold my stuff for a minute? I'll just take off your jacket-"

"You can return it to me on another day," Soo Hyuk interrupted. "It's impractical to have you take it off in this cold wearing that thin dress of yours."

Sa Bin blushed profusely. She bit her lip and averted her face to hide it. She wanted to tell Soo Hyuk it was such a ridiculous reasoning considering that though they were indeed out in the cold street, it wasn't like they're miles away from her home. Nevertheless, she was grateful for his offer because she wasn't really comfortable with taking his jacket off right in front of him and have him see her in her mini dress again.

Soo Hyuk stared at her averted, cherry-red face, and he smirked to himself. "You're awfully easy to tease, aren't you?"

Sa Bin quickly raised her chin in a sudden flare of defiance. "Excuse me! No, I am not, mr. Prosecutor. I don't know what made you think that, but it's farthest from the truth. I am not one of those hooligans you love to bully so much." Sa Bin saw the look on Soo Hyuk's face. "Hey, stop making fun of me! If you must know, I already know what type of man you are."

Soo Hyuk straightened, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "And what would that be?"

"Well.... that you're the a....a..." Sa Bin looked away as she struggled to think of something. "The bossy type!" She exclaimed. She smiled triumphantly. "You like to scare people and you love getting your way."

"You have an amazing analytical talent."

"Of course!" She said smugly.

"If that's the case, then you shouldn't be surprised if I do this."

"Do what- ah!"

Sa Bin squealed when she suddenly found herself off the ground as Soo Hyuk swooped in to sweep her off her feet in a flash, carrying her bridal style in his strong arms. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck in utter shock.

"Prosecutor Kim!" She screamed. "What are you doing? Put me down!" She tried to get free, afraid that somebody in the neighborhood might see them, but her struggle only made Soo Hyuk's hold on her tighten as he walked up to the entrance of her apartment building.

"Please, put me down." She tried again.

"Which floor?"

"What?"

"Which floor is your unit, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk clarified as though she was a small child.

She blinked. "Put me down first."

"Either you tell me which floor or I carry you back to my car and take you home with me. Your choice."

"You can't do that!" She exclaimed in a panic.

"You already said I'm the bossy type."

She gaped at him. "You are overreacting-" she was trying to say, but quickly took it back when Soo Hyuk began to turn back to his car. "Ok, ok! Third floor! Please, stop-"

"Jsut be quiet and let me do what I have to do so we can get this over with."

The pleading tone in his usually stern voice did the trick. Once again, Sa Bin found herself speechless at Soo Hyuk's command.

As they began to climb up the stairs, Sa Bin couldn't help but notice how Soo Hyuk's calloused and rough palms were pressed against her back and thighs from where he was holding her; of how the heat radiating off his body was seeping through hers in the most awkward yet comforting way imaginable, banishing the coldness she felt.

She discovered she loved the way he was holding her. Soo Hyuk's grip on her body was firm yet gentle, and she noticed the subtle way he pressed her closer to him as to avoid jostling her too much as he took careful, measured steps in ascending the stairs. Her heartbeat had never stopped its erratic beating, and yet there was a part of her that felt secure in his arms. She suddenly wanted to lean her head against his chest and close her eyes.

Sa Bin became horrified when she realized what just crossed her mind. Thankfully, they finally reached her floor.

Soo Hyuk carefully put Sa Bin down in front of her unit. He pretended not to notice when she reached down to straighten her dress.

Sa Bin turned around and tried balancing her belongings in one arm as she used the other to fumble for the keys in her purse. She was surprised, yet again, when Soo Hyuk took her heels and lab coat to hold them for her. There was a moment of eye contact between them before Sa Bin continued to look for her keys.

This has seriously been the longest night of my life, Sa Bin gravely mused. It's like all misfortune that could befall anyone has been dumped on me on this particular day. Nobody deserves this. Oh, god, where are those damn keys?

It seemed apparent to her now that she'd always humiliate herself in front of Kim Soo Hyuk no matter the circumstance. The only explanation she could think of was perhaps, in her past life, she had caused the downfall of her nation, or worse.

Sa Bin could feel Soo Hyuk's eyes on her as she continued her search. She almost shout in glee when she finally found her keys. She inserted it on the keyhole and opened the door to her unit.

When she turned back to the man behind her, she couldn't stop smiling in amusement at him. Soo Hyuk raised an eyebrow, but she refused to explain what she found amusing.

She would never tell him how comical he looked standing there in his expensive suit while holding her heels like a salesman. Oh, no. That would be for her private amusement. Instead, her smile blossomed into a more sincere one.

"I don't know how to say this, but I think you just saved my life multiple times tonight. So, uhm, would a simple "thanks" still suffice?"

Kim Soo Hyuk stared at her smiling face, and he felt as though all his trouble had been worth it. He had the sudden urge to tuck the stray strands of Sa Bin's hair behind her ear but held back. He fought to keep his emotions from showing. He handed Sa Bin back her belongings and motioned toward her apartment with a slight nod of his head.

"Let's not think of anything else for now, ms. Sa Bin. It's late and you still have a long day tomorrow-" he looked at his wristwatch. "Well, I guess I should say "later.'"

Sa Bin nodded her head, suddenly feeling a dread for Soo Hyuk's impending departure.

Seeing her unmoving, Soo Hyuk suppressed a sign as he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently nudged her inside her apartment.

"It's cold out here. Now get in there and rest." He held the door and began to close it. "I'll see you around."

"Oh. Ok." Sa Bin stood there and watched as the door was finally closed shut, feeling a kind of loss now that Soo Hyuk had gone.

She was suddenly filled with a surreal feeling as though everything that had happened that night was only a dream.

Sa Bin tore herself away fron the door and walked towards the tiny kitchen where she dropped her heels and lab coat on a chair, before she leaned on the counter to replay the events of the night in her head. One thing she was sure now: Kim Soo Hyuk was indeed a gentleman. She never expected that he'd have that side to him, but it warmed her heart that he had chosen to show it to her. Despite his snide comments, she could see he genuinely cared for her wellbeing. The fact that he even waited for her to finish her grocery and even took her home, carrying her and everything, showed her there was more to him that she'd imagined.

Sa Bin smiled to herself and raised her arms. Suddenly, she remembered that she was still wearing Soo Hyuk's jacket. Quickly, she took it off, and on an impulse, brought it to her face to inhale Soo Hyuk's scent. She felt ridiculous doing it but she couldn't care less at the moment. And then she brought the jacket close to her chest. Idly, she wondered what could be happening to her.

Outside Sa Bin's apartment, Soo Hyuk stood a few more seconds just looking at the door he had just closed, oddly satisfied that Jung Sa Bin was home and safe. And then he turned and walked away.

-fin-

[attemptingtowriteagain]

Commander Cody x Jedi!Reader

Protective Sentence Starters : “Don’t ever leave my sight again.”

A/N: So this ended up taking longer than i thought it would...

         Warnings : None

         Word Count : 1902

         Blaster fire exploded all around you as you ran through the streets of Christophsis, almost slipping when you took a turn to sharp. You spared a quick glance over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of  the  battle droids rolling hot on your heels.

          "Kriffing hell." You cursed under your breath. You quickly opened up the link on your com. "Cody! Cody, come in!"

          "Yes General?" The strained voice of the Clone Commander sounded from your wrist. You could hear the sound of the war going on a couple blocks away. Your heart jumped in your throat at the thought of him being hurt in the battle. You pushed the feeling aside turning another corner.

          "Please tell me that you have the droid poppers in place. I'm closing in and I have Destroyers, B2-HA's and tankers on my tail! They're closing in fast and I can't take them out by my self."

          "Sorry General. These clankers are coming in to heavy." There was a thud and a grunt before he continued. "We might need to lose ground if were goin' to win this battle."

          "Cody is right, (Y/N)." Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice patched in on the com. You huffed as you turned another corner.

          And into a dead end.

          "Oh no...." You gasped. "Kriff!" You yelled as a blaster bullet nearly missed your temple.

          "(Y/N)- General, are you okay?" The Commanders worried voice carried over the loud sounds of blasters. Quickly as you could, you pulled your lightsaber out and deflected as many shots as you could.

          "No!" You gritted your teeth. Sweat starting to bead on your forehead. "I must have taken a wrong turn! I'm stuck... In a dead end." You grunted falling back until the wall hit your back. The way to get back was closed off by 4 Destroyers and 3 B2-Ha's. The tanker was just starting to come into view.

          "You need to get back over here and regroup with the rest of the battalion." Obi-Wan commanded.

          "No." You hissed as you ricocheted a bullet back and shot down one of the B2 units.

          "No?! What the kriff do you mean no?" Cody snapped and the grunted and you heard more blaster shots ring out.

          "You guys are swarmed. If I regroup, I'll just end up bringing all these droids to you. You'll be over run!" You threw your last droid popper and set it off. The electrical shock gave you enough time to jump along the walls and behind the the tank. It slowly started to turn as you dashed down the street again, leading the opposing army away from the rendezvous point.

          "I'm going to lead them in the other direction." A realization hit you and your voice turned somber as you turned and saw two more tanks join the chase behind you. "I'll hold them off as long as I can."

          "(Y/N), no! You must regroup!" Cody urged frantically.

          "I'm sorry, Cody." You sighed, tears forming in your eyes and you turned the com off, running away from what you were sure was your only hope at survival.

          Commander Cody ducked behind a broken wall as more shots barely missed him. He furiously jammed on him com device, trying to connect to you again.

          "(Y/N)! Dammit!" He exclaimed in frustration and pulled himself from behind the wreckage and focused his anger on taking out as many droids as he could before needing to duck down again.

          "Calm yourself Cody!" Obi-Wan called from behind a downed walker. "We need you focused! (Y/N) will have to take care of herself." His heart jumped into his throat at the thought of you facing at least half of a droid battalion all by yourself.

          Cody knew it was wrong and against every regulation, but he cared for you more deeply than he should of. He wasn't even sure himself when the respect he had for you being a General and a friend turned into longing of wanting you beside him every day. He spent most days at your side and most nights being not to far from you. It was only thing about this god forsaken war that he enjoyed. He knew with every fiber of his being that he was in love you. When he was alone at night, he spent his time trying to remember when those feeling changed.

          Had it been when he took you 79's after a long drawn out battle to relax and you out drank more than half men there in a drinking game? The repercussions of which cause Cody to have you carry you back to your room at the Jedi temple while you drunkenly explained to him why purple wasn't a color but a lifestyle.

          Was it every time the two of you would sit atop one of the gunships while everyone else was sleeping? You always had yourself wrapped in a soft blanket and he would always bring the caf. The two of you would spend hours talking or just sitting in the quiet watching the stars.

          Maybe it was the way you jumped into battle to protect those who couldn't  protect themselves and even always made sure to cover his brothers if you could.

          Cody could contemplate all the ways he had fallen for you but he knew the answer to his internal conflict.

          He knew he loved you from the moment he met you. Your easy smile and the way your eyes lit up every time you talked to him, how couldn't you melt his heart? And he knew he could never live with himself if he didn't help you now, against orders or not.

          "I'm going to help General (Y/N)!" Cody yelled, looking to were your last com coordinates came from. "She won't make it on her own!"

          "No Cody! I'm ordering you stay here!"

          "I'm sorry General but I can't do that." Cody looked at Obi-Wan, and even though Cody was wearing his helmet, Obi-Wan could feel the determined gaze.

Sighing Obi-Wan nodded and pointed off past the right of the droid army.

          "She's over that way." Cody swung his head in the direction his General pointed and sure enough every few seconds a red bullet could be seen flying towards the sky. Without looking back, Cody pushed himself out from behind the debris and towards you.

          You slammed yourself against the wall after rounding the corner, trying to catch your breath.

          'I can't keep this up much longer.' You thought.

          You peeked around the bend and nearly got your nose taken off by a blaster shot. You tore yourself off the wall and started down the street again. You didn't get far before there was a series of explosions behind you. You held out your lightsaber in front of you, ready for whatever was coming around the bend.

          "(Y/N)!?" An all to familiar voice called through the smoke and dust. Relief flooded you and you almost collapsed.

          "Cody?" You called out tentatively. A figure skidded to a halt in the middle of the intersection and looked around wildly. They did a double take when they saw you. You could have cried when the recognizable orange visor came into view. "Oh.. Cody!" Deactivating your lightsaber, you ran forward and threw your arms around Cody's neck. Without hesitation, he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you tight against him.

          "I thought I was a goner..." You mumbled into his armor. Your heart hammered in your chest as you let the man you had fallen in love with hold you. Jedi rules and Clone regulations be damned. If he would ask it of you, you knew you would leave the Jedi Order for him.

          "I would never let that happen." Cody stated fiercely and pulled you tighter to him. You felt your face heat up and buried you face into his neck, sighing deeply. You pulled back to say something when a fast scrapping noise rang out in between the buildings. Cody's head swung around and he swore.

          "We got rollies coming! And I don't have any droid poppers, only grenades."

          "Then drop them!" You insisted and you pulled yourself away from him.

          "We won't have enough time to get out of the blast zone." Cody warned as he dropped the grenades and grasped your hand to pull you with him as he started to run down the street. "Hold on!" He yelled and a small group of destroyer droids rolled around the corner. Cody hit the detonator and the next thing you felt was Cody pulling you to his chest and the explosion knock you both off your feet. The air was knock out of your lungs and Cody landed on top of you before both of you rolled to a stop, you on top of him.

          Your forehead rested on his bare cheek and you looked up to that the blast has forced his helmet off. You both took deep breaths as you looked into each other eyes. His amber eyes looked deeply into yours and you couldn't help but run your thumb over the scar on his temple. Cody leaned into your touch and sighed. The words were right on the tip his tongue, it was difficult for him not to say them and kiss you. Kiss you and never stop. Unbeknownst to him, you were fighting the same internal battle. And lost.

          "I love you." You blurted out and held your breath, waiting to see his reaction. His eyes widen, caught off guard. "I have since I met you." You admitted.

          Cody smiled softly as he brushed his fingers along your cheek to tuck hair behind your ear. Cinders from the fire started to fall around the both of you but they were paid no mind.

          "Don't ever leave my sight again." He joked and you couldn't help but smile. "I love you." He finally admitted, feeling a weight being lifted from him.

          You responded by slowly leaning forward and softy placing your lips over his. It felt like your whole body came alive as his cupped the back of you neck, moving his lips against your at a slow place. You reached up and cupped his face, sighing when he ran his tongue you bottom lip. Without hesitation, you opened your mouth and allowed him to explore. The war, the world, and everything but Cody disappeared. He only pulled away when you both needed air.

          "I wish we could stay like this." He confessed and kissed you jaw briefly.

          "Hm...." You hummed and pecked his lips one more time. "Maybe when this battle is over, we could find a quiet place to talk?" Cody smiled and pulled you in for another kiss before his com started to beep.

          "Cody, did you find General (Y/N)?" Obi-Wan's voice rang out.

          "Yes sir, we are on our way back now."

          "Good, the enemy forces seem to have been defeated. Make your way to the gunship so we can go."

          "Yes, sir." Cody switched the com off and shifted to help you stand up.

          "I don't know about you," You started, brushing the dirt off yourself. "But I am starving." Cody chuckled and kissed you deeply once more before retrieving his helmet.

          "Same. How 'bout we grab dinner when we get back to the Resolute?"

          "I think I could do that." You smiled coyly and for what felt like the first time in your life, you felt complete.

[theclaravoyant]

Hey! I'm loving your trans!Fitz series. Could you write a like, more FS centered piece within it? Like, how they got together, their first time sleeping together, anything like that? Thank you for such amazing works with such good representation

AN ~ Thank you so much! I’m glad you’ve been loving Leopold!

This is basically “first date” fluff - though I would also be up for writing their first time etc. if that’s still a point of interest for people? Perhaps a more AU version?

Anyway, without further ado, enjoy!

Read on AO3 (~1700wd)

Spearmint

“Why don’t you ever come swimming?” Jemma wondered, bringing her ponytail around to the side so that she could sponge it dry a little before moving onto the rest of her body. A bikini decorated in bright orange and pink floral print contrasted her pale flesh, but Fitz couldn’t help but blush a little as he tried not to look too hard. She was his best friend, but he was only a man.

“I- I don’t know,” he explained. “I guess I still don’t like taking my top off.”

“Why?” Her eyes darted down to his chest. “Do you have scars?”

Fitz crossed his arms.

“I’d rather not talk about it. Just… hurry up and put a shirt on, please.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and tugged a loose shirt over her shoulders. Then, wrapping the towel around her hips, she gestured for Fitz to lead the way from the pool area.

“You know, there are bathing suits that wouldn’t require you to wear a top. And plenty of the guys swim in tanks.”

She gestured to a group of them, as one leapt almost out of the water to spike a volleyball into the opposing side. Fitz fixed her with a sardonic glare.

“Oh yeah because I can do that.”

“You could if you wanted to.”

“Have you seen me?” Fitz gestured to himself. “I’m made of spaghetti! I was not built for physical prowess, Jemma, I am a massive nerd and I have accepted my place.”

Jemma laughed, a snorting, nose crinkling laugh.

“You do know we attend a school full of certified Massive Nerds, right?” she reminded him. “It’s not like we’re the only prodigies in the world.”

“I’m the youngest guy here by almost three years,” Fitz pointed out, holding the gate open for Jemma. “Do you know how much puberty you can go through in three years? It’s a lot.”

“You’re not the youngest person here, though,” Jemma insisted. “You can’t tell me some of the girls haven’t been looking. Come on.”

She grinned, and looked him up and down a little mockingly. He was fully dressed in shorts, a tank, and a half-open button-up tee, but he still felt tempted to cover himself further, squirming under her gaze. Realising he was uncomfortable, Jemma sobered up a little.

“Nobody?” she wondered. “Well, have you asked anybody?”

“A few people,” Fitz admitted, “but we never get past a first date.”

Jemma baulked and glanced back over her shoulder, feeling her blood begin to boil in indignant defensive rage.

“Not because of that,” Fitz assured her, and urged her to walk on before they could make a scene. “That’s not first date material. It’s just… me. I can’t flirt to save my life, I find forced conversation boring, and I’m too insecure. If I’m attractive it’s because of my brain, but once they realise the brain comes with this grouchy, gangly… mess… it’s all over.”

He shook his head and Jemma puffed her chest, still indignant, though not as enraged this time.

“You converse with me all the time!” she insisted.

“You’re not forced!” Fitz explained. “Or boring. And for some reason, you like this gangly insecure mess. If you could tell your friends why, I’d be much obliged.”

Jemma laughed a little, but this time, it died out as Fitz stopped them by the corner of the rec centre’s café and began to dig in his pocket for some cash. How was she supposed to tell him it was because of lines like that? It was because he was sweet and funny, as well as smart, that she liked him. But, it seemed, he did not like her back, or he – genius that he was – would have surely thought to ask out the girl, apparently the only girl, that he enjoyed having conversations with.

“I was just going to get a candy bar,” Fitz prompted, “but I’ve got time before Calc. Want to stop for a milkshake? I’m buying.”

“A milkshake?” Jemma raised her eyebrows. “In this weather?”

“Swimming?” Fitz gestured to her shirt, which was beginning to soak in places she had not finished drying off. “In this weather?”

Touché. Jemma’s incredulity turned into a smug smile and she slipped into a nearby seat as her reply.

“Spearmint, please,” she specified.

“Naturally.”

-

“A burger joint?” Jemma mused, looking around as Fitz held the door open and she stepped through. “You should have warned me. I would have worn my full skirt.”  

“And that’s, what, a half-skirt?”

Fitz gestured to the rich ruby-red dress she wore.

“No, I just like syncing my outfit with the mood of the evening, that’s all.”

“Well, I didn’t have a 50’s suit lying around, so fair’s fair,” Fitz explained. Jemma smiled appreciatively at his tux. They were probably overdressed for this place, but it was one of the classier themed restaurants she had been too – and frankly, they had been through too much to give a damn anyway.

“I wanted to take you somewhere swanky,” Fitz continued, “but given the, uh, heaviness of our last first date I thought I’d keep things a bit lighter this time around. And I know you like burgers, and curly fries, and you hardly ever let yourself eat them.”

“I have a reputation to maintain,” Jemma explained, but her eyes glinted with mischief as the waiter brought a basket of curly fries over to the table. She plucked one out the instant it was set down, and bit into it hungrily.

“This was a brilliant idea, Fitz!” she exclaimed. “And not just because I’d like to eat my weight in these fries and never look at garlic bread again. Good food, a fun theme, it was really clever of you to think of it. I love it. Even if I do have a skirt with literal poodles on it that I never get to wear anymore.”

“Didn’t you buy that as a costume for Daisy’s birthday?”

“I fell in love with it, okay?!”

Fitz refrained his laughter as another waiter came around with two milkshakes – chocolate for him, spearmint for her – and set them down on the table, and left again. Jemma blinked as she watched them leave, and looked around. Leaning across the table, she whispered:

“Fitz? Did you book out this whole place again?”

“You said it was sweet.”

“And expensive!” Jemma gasped. “You don’t have to do that anymore, you know I’m okay now, right?”

“Jemma.” For a moment, Fitz’s eyes were solemn as he lay his hand over hers. They were so far from okay that even thinking about the distance was too much, really, and Jemma’s expression softened.

“It is sweet, though,” she acknowledged. “It’s just… also sweet to know we can afford to eat for the next month.”

“Oh, Coulson’s paying. For the venue, I mean. Everything else is on me but he insisted on contributing to your ‘mental health fund’. Which he’s put me in charge of, because he knows you’ll never touch a penny if you can help it.”

Jemma rolled her eyes.

“That’s sweet too, damn it.” Blinking, she found herself tearing up. “No, this was supposed to be fun! Fun!”

“Hey, happy crying’s alright,” Fitz assured her. “We don’t do much of that these days. Have some milkshake. Uh - you still like spearmint, right? I don’t think we’ve had it since… you know.”

Jemma took a deep breath, creeping apprehension filling her gut. Part of her wished he’d never brought it up, but now that she thought about it, if she took a big gulp and hated it she’d never drink spearmint again. Squeezing his hand where he still held hers, Jemma took a slow, hesitant sip…

And then she drank deep, and sighed in satisfaction. Her memory filled with long days at the Academy where Fitz had shouted her more than a few of these shakes. Of swimming with her friends even when it was cold. Of beachside holidays with her family, and car trips through the crisp morning air. Of Fitz and Daisy sword-fighting with tongue-sharpened candy-canes, and Fitz bringing her breakfast in bed, and of the snow and the sun, and back here.

Fitz was smiling. She could see the curiosity in his eyes, wondering where she had gone, but he kept the question to himself.

“Still good?” he asked instead.

“Still good.”

-

“I’ll have the bran berry forest yoghurt, please,” Jemma requested. “And he will have…”

Jemma nudged Fitz with her foot under the bench. The diner was a lot more contemporary-road-house than 1950s-milkshake-bar, and the all-but-soldiers that had traipsed in that morning were far from the goofy teenagers or overdressed second-first-date-goers that had gone before them, but they were not immune to hunger. Or to sentiment. Maybe, Jemma thought, just maybe, sharing bacon and eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes with his dearest friends might help lift Fitz out of this funk, at least for a while.

“Fitz?” she pressed. “Would you like me to order for you?”

For a moment longer, she contemplated dragging him outside or out the back for a scolding and a speech insisting that she was not going to let him stave out of this misery. But then, he smiled uncertainly at the waitress.

“The English Breakfast, please,” he requested softly. “And, uh. Two milkshakes, please? One chocolate, one spearmint.”

“Sure thing, sir.” The waitress nodded. “Can I take your menu?”

“Hey, can I get in on that milkshake thing?” Daisy wondered. “What’s the best one? Chocolate? That’s always a safe bet, right?”

“Sounds good for you, but I’ll take a vanilla,” May said. “We do have a chocolate-banana if you’d prefer it?” the waitress offered. “Or choc-mint or choc-peanut.”

“Damn, I’m allergic to peanut,” Coulson muttered, “but I’ll take the choc-banana. Daisy? Choc-banana? Mack? Elena?”

The rest of the table erupted into a rousing debate on milkshake flavours that was both intriguing and entertaining given the waitress’ expression. At the end of the table, Fitz and Jemma let it fade into noise.

“Thank you,” Jemma murmured, taking a sip of her shake. Fitz smiled a little, and she felt her heart settle in equal measure, as he showed her that despite his fears and doubts, he still saw some place with her.

“It’s no problem,” he assured her.

She reached for his hand, and he let her take it.