#again this isn’t about blindfaith or private eyes

[no-tengo-ojos]

I think part of the reason that it’s taken a (very) near death experience for Arthur to openly admit that he loves John (whether that is romantic or platonic doesn’t matter) is because every time in the past where he has loved or has been loved by someone he’s lost them. Faroe died, then Parker and he currently probably thinks that he’ll never see Oscar or Noel again. Arthur believes that he is fated to lose the one’s he loves so has held back from telling John that he loves him to avoid it happening again. The voice Arthur uses to say it in ep 44 is one of a man that knows he will have his heartbroken time after time and that there’s no way to stop it. He so desperately wants to love but fears the consequences.