#again theyre really uncomfy

[charliespringverse]

i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .

[bpdloop]

my really quick thoughts on loop pronouns journey

i have too many thoughts on this to make them more concise than this... but fuck it ill try!

basically, i think theyd get to a point where theyre like Oh god. Who the fuck is "Loop" Who the fuck am i. all i have is tied to those stupid loops. maybe if i change my pronouns ill feel real and like myself and also maybe this can be My Thing. Pronouns Georg. Yes this is perfect wonderful awesome this will not go bad at all whatsoever

it goes bad. they hate it. but its only been a few weeks since they said something. maybe they can keep it going a bit longer and theyll get more comfortable with it? (they dont.) odile notices it, waits a bit longer to make sure shes right, and then informs the party of her findings. siffrin would have noticed too, but not really have put two and two together by now

i think in order from how sudden the change back to they/them for loop in their vocabulary, from instant to more gradual, would be bonnie and siffrin, odile, and then mirabelle and isabeau. loop would notice at some point theyd only been correctly pronouned again for x amount of time and get an extreme longing to keep it from slipping back, but theyd probably still be too nervous/scared to say anything directly. especially since the issue seems fixed...?

ofc the partys not gonna let them go without knowing for sure theyre completely Allowed to be uncomfortable with any pronouns and only use the one set. this would lead to a big ol blubbery breakdown, overwhelmed with the fact that they dont have to be uncomfy anymore AND that the party actually NOTICED something was wrong and said something. crazy shit. theyd probably have to fight themself later about needing A New Niche Now, but eh. that sounds like a them problem that isnt my job rn

this is not to say they couldnt find other pronouns good later in life, but i just personally dont see it. shrugs! i think theyd have a second bout of this where theyre like Actually im fw neos. and then after one grimace from them after someone uses a neo theyre like We're not falling for this one again loop. Youre allowed to want only they/them. You dont have to force yourself. and then theyd probably be set for. Until the third bout. But like muuuuch later down the line. maybe theyd actually fw something else by then, if theyve gotten good therapy for the loops, but outside of that i think this star's a they/them for life

this was my first time really trying to do image descs also! i hope i did ok!

[egforsakentakes]

hi i retyurn

again uh

SUICIDE/$H HC

--alongside my last ask where i said two time would kts, they do this incredibly often.

^*THIS* Is why the other survs r so uneasy around them. yes, the constant talk of The Spawn and their cult makes them uncomfy. but its really the fact the other survs have all seen two time dead in a horribly mangled manner before that makes everyone avoid them.

--since Two Time is resuscitated in their room everytime they die, they dont know that the others even see them dead.

^so, they dont know why they're so avoided.

--007n7 also ends it...every now and then.

^unlike two time, theyre not as bold and careless about where they die.

^nobody ever finds 007's body because he hides so well before pulling the trigger

^Dusekkar is the only one to have ever found his corpse.

--Speaking of dusekkar!! them having been so powerful they were 'nerfed by the Spectre' makes them extremely uncomfortable.

^It makes dusk think that they're not helping the teammates as much as they should be, and it really messes with them in matches--leading to sloppier support

--Taph had asthma. they carry around their inhaler and whatnot, but they canNOT be near one of their tripmines when it goes off... or else hello asthma attack and goodbye to any chance of seeting up traps for the rest of the round.

--Azure(post forsaken) fights with the Spectre almost everday. He wants desperately to be in control of his own thoughts, he knows Two Time has been forsaken in the same realm, and he wants to go see him in a loving manner...

^...but all the Spectre does is encourage horrible hostility from within Azure, leading to numerous gruesome Two Time deaths (in matches)

--Two Time has no idea about the Spectre and its manipulation over azure, so two time just thinks Azure will forever hate them.

^Of course..they understand this! They just..dont like it

🦐NON!!!!

.

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

More Bucky Headcanons just because ✨✨

some are +18 so if that makes u uncomfy or u are -18 please scroll!! It is clearly labelled where they start, so if u only want one or the other the division is there!!

this got kinda long lol sorry

—————————————

PG 13 SECTION:

• He has a lot of old fashioned/outdated beliefs so sometimes he’ll say something and you just have to look at him and go 😀😄😀 “no.” and then have a conversation with him about why what he just said is objectively morally corrupt. He’s very open to it and it doesn’t happen a lot but when it does he’s willing to understand and he asks questions about whatever messed up thing he said. He’s very progressive for a man who was in his early 20’s in 1945.

• he has a lot of old fashioned/outdated beliefs so ur dates are literally superior and your instagram is filled with people commenting things like “if you look closely you can see me swinging in the background” or “hey god its me again” and you cant forget the classic “when will it be my turn.” He brings you flowers at least once a week, and chocolates are a MUST for him, and as soon as he found out about edible arrangements there is one on your desk at work at least once a month. you tell him your gonna get fat from all the sweets he brings you and he says “good” and thats the end of that convo.

• on the note of food, he’s a fantastic cook. Most of the time. He has tried on multiple occasions to feed you depression era foods (balogna caserole, jello molds, pea pasta, etc) one time he made you a jello mold with olives and tuna in it and you got physically sick (it was the first time he saw you throw up so he kinda just stood there like 😬 and patted your back like “there there, my bad ill never give you tuna+jello in the same dish again” which he STILL makes for himself) so he decided to stick with more modern recipes for actual meals (which are always delicious). But he swears on his life that dessert recipes were better when he was a kid, and he always bakes you the sweets his mom made when he was little such as, apple pie, wacky cake, water pie, prune pudding, frozen fruit salad.

• he really likes crispy cookies so he’ll take urs out when theyre cooked the regular amount, and he leaves his in the oven for like another 10 minutes at minimum. He likes it best when the edges of the cookies are literally burnt and when the chocolate even gets crispy. He dips em in milk though which i guess is slightly redeeming? But the crunch on his cookies should be punishable by law. It counds like crisps when he chews.

• Texts like:

Bucky ❤️❤️

Hey…

hey?? u good?

Yes. I just wanted to say

I love you…

ilyt.. y r u being

so ominous?

I am not…

I just wanted to send you

this big long paragraph chunk

about how much I love you. It

has to be grammatically correct

because I’m old and it will take

me 15 minutes at minimum to

finish typing this text because

I am typing with one hand, and

I have big thumbs. Thank god

for voice memos. Also what

does OMG mean?

————————————————————————

it drives you insane but he physically cannot comprehend any other way to text. He also had a flip phone until you forced him to get a new one. When he gets it he doesn’t send you texts anymore, and instead only sends voice memos (its so much faster)

• loves a sweet treat but is terribly embarrassed about it. Literally the trope where the big scary guy orders a black coffee “for himself” and his cute girly gf gets like a sugar unicorn rainbow suprise, and after they get their drinks they switch. He makes you order it with extra whipped cream and sprinkles. If you like sweet drinks too, he will still order the black coffee and not drink it. He will consistently order 3 drinks despite there only being 2 of you. Sometimes he drops it off w Steve because he knows he likes black coffee and he hates waste, but he is still too embarrassed to just order his drink.

• cried watching Up, Toy Story 2, The Princess and the Frog, Moana, The beauty and the beast (which was ur halloween costume the year he first watched it. His choice.) and Cars (you still don’t know why he cried about cars to this day and it has been YEARS.)

• despite being an ex assassin, when he’s not in fight or flight mode he’s terribly unathletic. He talks big game before a bowling date and he literally bowls a 45. You didn’t know anyone over the age of 8 could score that low in a game where you simply roll a ball. You also took him to In Shape to play tennis and he hit a car with the ball.

• his body physically cannot handle energy drinks. as much sugar as he consumes, energy drinks make him jittery and paranoid for some reason, and despite being a relatively quiet man, he doesn’t shut up when there’s a red bull in his system

• pro legalizing weed in all states. Tried an edible one time before bed because he overheard someone say it or read somewhere that it can help with sleep, and he swears he had never slept that good in over 100 years of being alive. Even pre super soldier serum.

• He’s a man of few words so in the beginning of u 2 going out there would be long periods of awkward silence. He took you on a lot of movie dates so he could avoid this problem as much as possible.

•Def doesn’t wear his arm to bed so you guys have an easier time spooning. You don’t have to deal with the problem that a lot of couples have where you wanna cuddle but his arm falls asleep cs ur laying on it. but for him theres no arm to lay on!!!! yippeee!!! Cuddling in bed typically looks like him being the big spoon with his right arm around your waist. His left shoulder is in whatever position his decides is comfortable that night. He also has a habit of not sleeping with his head on the pillow so you typically feel his nose/breathe against the small of your back. He often kisses you there while rubbing your side to put you to sleep

• cuddling is a little different when he has a bad nightmare tho. Sometimes he doesn’t want to cuddle so he’ll lay on the floor on your side of the bed and go back to sleep there, or at least try to. Thats usually what happens if you don’t wake up. If you do, you go and get him a glass of water, and a cold rag to wipe is sweat off. You give him a minute until he’s ready to lay back down. He lays on his back, and you suction yourself to his side. One leg over his and your arm on his chest, rubbing soothing patterns to try and slow his hammering heart. You kiss where you can reach, but he’s huge, so its usually just his shoulder and chest, and you tell him all your favorite things about him, and how much you love him, and how safe he is here in your arms. It works 95% of the time.

RATED R SECTION:

• its ur lucky day if ur a pillow princess! he likes being able to physically take care of his partner without them having to do any work. He feels like it’s his way of saying thank you for staying with him thru all his trauma and whatnot

• if his s/o is plus sized he will make the effort to be able to lift 2 times their weight bare minimum (which doesn’t take that much effort on his part), and he gets a little smug when he lifts his partner up against the wall the first time and they’re a little shocked because hey no one has ever been able to do that before what is happening oh noooo BOOM you’re in love

• usually not the one to initiate anything. He feels like he’s pressuring you when he does, but you can always tell when he’s in the mood because he gets clingy and cannot look you in the eye.

• in the same vein, he doesn’t really get horny that often but when he does… whew chile GOOD LUCK. Super human stamina is a gift and a curse with him!!

• he doesn’t like to mark you up, but he loves it when you do. He likes getting done and seeing the scratches on his back in the mirror, or having to cover up hickeys with turtlenecks. His favorite is when he makes you help him cover the harder to hide ones to his with makeup. (he bought the right color for himself but didn’t know how to use it). LOVE LOVE LOVES when you bite him.

• Again, he’s typically a man of few words but he will mumble random things “to himself” but loud enough for you to barely hear it too. a lot of “so fucking good,” “pretty girl” “all mine” “all yours” “tell me I’m yours” “say your mine” and other things of that nature

• I think I said this in the last one but I’m a firm believer that he wouldn’t wear his arm unless he had to/felt unsafe. and I would argue that he feels pretty safe if yall are doing the shaboingboing. SO holding you is a little difficult for your amputee bf. Getting into a good and comfortable position for both of you tends to bring a lot of laughs.

•He likes to touch you a lot while y’all are getting down and dirty. It helps ground him in a way. He struggles a little bit with dissociation, even when getting intimate so being able to feel your skin under his palms helps keep him on Earth and focused on getting his s/o off.

————————————————————————

A/N: thank you if you resd this far. dont be shy and leave a note behind! i have more chapters of friends dont on the way i swear. Im genuinelu just slow IM SORRY AHH

anyways good night cuties 🌙💫⭐️✨

[mamawasatesttube]

I feel so shy not being able to hide in the anon asks but for the sake of desperation I'll ask anyway.

First of all I must say that I love the way you express yourself, because even though you are against some things, or at least you don't like them. You express it so well and so respectful that's addicting.

Anyway the questions were what you thought about Tim+Kon+Bernard, because I've seen a lot of people talking about it but I don't know if it makes much sense if you think of their relationship.

Also if you had some songs that reminded you of Kon I'd love the recs! Because I'm still a newbie in the whole DC comics, but I've been having a Kon brain rot for a while.

Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English isn't my first language. If any of this makes you uncomfy please feel free of ignoring me and I hope you have plenty of good days!!💕💕 Be careful to not catch a cold

aww thank you that's very sweet of you to say!!! :D i do love to simply start talking and rambling all the time. one of my top skills. (and yeah i turned off anon asks a while ago because unfortunately talking about racism in fandom often gets you labelled a bitch with a terrible personality 😔✊ alas!)

as for tim/kon/bernard ... i really, really dislike that ship. it takes everything i already strongly dislike about tim/ber (tim drake: robin is the worst comic i've ever read, and i'm including jeph loeb's supergirl when i say this), and multiplies it by a factor of about 500.

my biggest problem with tim/ber is that megfitz wrote them with absolutely no actual chemistry. there is nothing in the text to tell me why they actually like each other. there is nothing in the text that tells me what the issues in their relationship are, or how they might grow together as people, or anything. which is absolutely insane because you'd think "bernard knows tim's secret identity, but has not told tim that he knows" would be a MAJOR point of conflict, but instead it's just completely glossed over to the point of the comic asking us to accept that the bats would ever allow a mob of random civilians on a mission with them. there's stretching suspension of disbelief, and then there's putting suspension of disbelief on the medieval torture rack and tearing it apart. like. come ON. (tdr is also like. teehee gentrification but its cute? which is insane to me in a different way. its just. its so bad. its such a bad comic.)

so adding kon to that mix kind of gives me hives because a) we have all of my issues with tdr being incredibly inconsistent, both internally and with all existing tim characterization ever, and b) it brings up all of my issues with how kon has been written since yj2019. which i could get into Yet Again but in the interests of being at least a little bit concise, it's also incredibly inconsistent and drives me bonkers. so the concept of this ship just makes me go "why the FUCK" because i just truly genuinely cannot fathom why kon and bernard would ever give a shit about each other. i can barely even fathom why tim and bernard give a shit about each other because megfitz did the comic script equivalent of picking up two barbie dolls and mashing them together and going LOOK THEYRE IN LOVE. they have no consistent characterization under her pen.

so adding kon into that just makes me want to tear my hair out a little bit because. like. to be entirely honest i don't know how some random dude from one of tim's many high schools who tim was friendly with, sure, but not particularly close with, can hold a candle to Whatever The Fuck Tim And Kon Have Going On. especially with how flat their relationship reads to me in tdr (what do they even like about each other??? why is bernard in fucking biophysics or whatever while wanting to be a chef??? why does tim not go "you know culinary school exists right??" when he finds out??? how am i supposed to believe that tim "duty" drake would ever leave people in a burning building just for his sad boyfriend??? that batman and co would ever let a bunch of civilians fight alongside them - or for that matter, that they'd need bernard to tell them tim's in trouble?? what the fuck alternate dimension are they from where any of this makes sense???). tim/ber just is such a nothing ship to me that adding kon to it is just like. EXTREME nothing. to me tim/ber/kon is basically a flag that says "i don't care about characterization" and it's just so very deeply NOT my thing at all whatsoever.

...which is why to ME tim's first boyfriend is ives, not bernard, and in this essay i will--

ahem. anyways!! re: kon songs, oh man i have a lot. i have a whole playlist even. with a linked document to explain every song choice. i also lately have been thinking about making a second playlist for all the songs that didn't make it onto the first one!! much to consider.

also don't worry your english is totally fine ♥ and it's very sweet of you to wish me well healthwise and also a little funny because actually i am just getting over a cold that had me sniffly and miserable most of last week. but i'm much better tonight so yippee!! thank you again :D

[noturlondonboy]

Also genderqueer Kate with yelena! What are your hc about them together?

Hi anon, thanks so much for this ask 🥰

I’ve only written about Kate exploring her gender after she and Yelena have already been dating, but I reallyyyyyyy love the idea of her already having figured it out before they meet. And here’s why! :>

(This is a THIRD try because my first draft didn’t save and my second one that I was JUST FREAKING WRITING-)

-

Anyone ever seen the post about the story idea of a girl falling for a boy and a girl and being really conflicted about who she likes more but then they turn out to be the same gender-fluid person

Yeah that’s what’s up

-first off, when Kate is so masculine that feminine stuff is uncomfy, that’s when we pull out the new name and pronouns

-drumroll please… meet Kit Bishop

-Yelena meets Kate in one of her classes (this one is a college au now I guess?) and they immediately hit it off, and Kate is crushing HARD. She already knows who Yelena is through Clint and therefore through Natasha, but they’ve never actually met, and Yelena doesn’t hear about Kate nearly as much as Kate hears about her

-later in the week in a different class, Yelena meets Kit, which is ultimately confusing. We’re just gonna pretend that a gender swap completely fools her (if that’s the right word for this) and she really just doesn’t pick up on it. But again, she really likes this new classmate, who acts so friendly and familiar with her, like they’ve already met

-it takes Kate about a week and a half to realize that Yelena thinks this is two different people. She is therefore freaking the fuck out and also so intrigued because it’s funny ok

-Yelena has a freak out and just rants to Natasha one day about these two peers of hers who she thinks she might be crushing on, but she’s never been interested in boys/ male adjacent folks and this is weird for her and they seem so alike

-“OH FUCK NATASHA I THINK THEYRE TWINS- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?!”

-she asks Kate if she has a twin brother, to which Kate says no she’s an only child, and Yelena gets the same response from Kit

-she really is kinda oblivious and delulu here y’all stick with me

-Natasha knows that these are both the same people, so any time she sees Kate/Kit with Clint and hears about them from Yelena she kinda just giggles to herself

-Kate is trying to figure out how to put Yelena out of her misery and just admit that she’s both those people, and gender is her canvas to mess with however she wants

-Yelena finally says fuck it and asks both of them out for different nights, because who says she can’t go on non-commitment dates like that? Kit nearly slips and up and reminds Yelena that she already asked him out, but then stops and remembers and is a pussy and also incredibly turned on flattered that Yelena would initiate a date with someone she thinks is masculine identifying

-but in true K. Bishop fashion, this goofball gets the dates for the dates (haha) mixed up and arrives at the cafe as Kate when Yelena is expecting Kit (and also she woke up feeling feminine- can you blame a genderqueer girly for feeling like she’ll throw up if she doesn’t put makeup on?)

-Yelena is confused as fuck for a little bit and also worried that Kate will get upset if she thinks that Yelena is just messing around

-but Kate finally decides enough is enough and just point blank goes “Yelena. Sometimes I feel more like a boy, and sometimes I feel more like a girl, and sometimes I’m somewhere else entirely. I use all pronouns interchangeably and on some days, I go by Kit.”

-Yelena just kinda stares at her for a moment and then feels real dumb but Kate is like no wait I’m actually super flattered that you thought I passed so well it’s ok

-Kate apologizes for not telling her sooner but Yelena could care less she’s just having the biggest gay panic of her life and she just blurts out that she’d like to kiss her if that’s ok

-Kate is obviously down she’s not stupid

-“soooo… are we still on for next week too?”

-they go on a few dates before Yelena asks them to be her partner, and when she tells Natasha all she gets is a laugh and a “finally Jesus fuck”

-she slips into the changing names/pronouns/titles rather easily and quickly, which is super rad. They set up a system of check ins together each morning and sometimes just periodically throughout the day. “This is my partner- *looks over* yeah, this is Kate, my girlfriend.” “I just miss them, I miss him. Yeah, my boyfriend, that cute little guy I know”

-anyway that shit fucks hard and they’re gay your honor

[altschmerzes]

So many of the "ship and let ship" "curate your online experience" people get mad when you? Try to do that? Like I agree with those sentiments, I don't care what other people do but also like. The whole point is that people shouldn't have to see or interact (let alone hype up!) things they are uncomfortable with or don't like. It's kind of wild to me how insecure and like. Self-victimizing people are about people not wanting to see or even just not being excited about stuff that they admit is "taboo"!! Like it's taboo because it's not mainstream and most people aren't into it or think is gross! If that's what you're into fine, but you have to accept that most people will think it's weird and not want to interact with it.

that's exactly it, the insecurity and self-victimizing attitude of people who bang on about that is like. the most eye-rolling part of it to me. like if you're gonna make your whole personality centre around being the Gross Fucked Up Abusive Things Shipper you can't really be upset when people give you a wide berth or don't want that shit around them lmao. like people expressing a personal opinion or not wanting to see your shit or not wanting you to interact with their work is not like... can you calm down and be quiet lmao. you can go ahead and use your 'do whatever you want forever' to have your gross bullshit, i'll go ahead and use mine to call it gross bullshit. block me about it. i have no power here.

and it like... it really does strike me how people who are Like This will often be the biggest culprits of the behaviour they scream about how no one should do. 'ship whatever you want' until the answer is 'not your ship' lmao. i see this so much from people who whine about like... characters who aren't related biologically or through adoption but could easily have a familial interpretation of their dynamic/have a found family thing going on/call each other familial terms etc, and how people will accuse them of 'shipping incest' for shipping those characters. when i doubt that's really happening so much as they are seeing other people's posts where theyre saying 'i dont ship these characters it feels weird to me, i see them as xyz' and taking that really personally and characterizing it as an attack. whereas they will then be making a bunch of catty snide posts about how anyone who sees x and y as [insert dynamic here] is CREEPY and WEIRD because they're SOOOOOOOOO obviously fucking/in love/whatever.

like sorry which one of us is forcing opinions on other people and bringing morality into it again? me, who's writing my fic where two characters have a sibling like relationship and am uncomfortable with ship content of them above and beyond my normal romance repulsion because that interpretation is just So prominent in my mind, or you, the person making a bunch of posts mocking anyone who doesn't ship them and saying they're creepy and weird for seeing them as siblings because YOU ship them so obviously that means i'm the one doing something wrong because it doesn't... conform to your ship. and might make you feel a little uncomfy if you run across it in the wild.

it's such a clear inability to manage personal discomfort and 'i feel invalidated' lmao. which is just something that i have zero patience or sympathy for at this point like on an entirely petty and personally spiteful level i would like to invite any of them to experience being romance repulsed and in fandom for ten minutes, it will cure them of their inability to manage their own discomfort and weird feelings right quick.

[asexuwales]

i dont know who i am

what is my identity

i like lots of things

i also dont like alot of things and i know what they all are

i appreciate some things but sometimes they dont really hit the same when i actively think about them

like shadows and such

they seem so pointless out of context

idek who im trying to be

well

im trying to be someone with a sense of self

but as a nihilist it doesnt work out too much

people say im not a nihilist because i have a job i want to do and hobbies

nihilists dont just sit around doing nothing we do get bored

but how we would love to

there isnt a point to anything

maybe were big thinkers who see too much outside of the big picture

whats the point in spending so much time earning money when it was just a system set up because we accidentally discovered fire

if you dont comply to the government in anyway the only way is jail

maybe jail is a nihilists endgame

i wouldnt mind being in jail

but other parts of me are relieved that ive finally found somewhere to belong

my insides clash i guess

growing up without a stable base or stable reliable people in my life leads me to want to find a home

but my personality wants to just give up because life is so fucking boring anyways

so why dont i give up its supposed to be the easy way out

but it really isnt

the paperwork

the possesions

the relationships

having to change my stable base again

japan has become the longest stable place ive ever had

which is crazy to think about

the longest ive ever stayed in one place is like 2 years

the dragon was 5 years but i changed house and people like every 2 years

even before i started boarding we didnt stay in a house longer than 2 years

but why do i desire a stable place to stay

was it really that awful

because i didnt notice it was awful

it was just life

idk how it would have affected me

this stupid sense of self affects every part of my life and my work

the problem i have with literally everything stems back to who am i

i really dont know who i am

its messing me up

i dont know how to find out who i am when i already know what i like and what i dont like

what am i missing

i really feel like im missing something

its not as simple as what i like and what i dont like

theres something else

that everyone else seems to have no trouble understanding

i really need help with that

but i dont know how to work around to that because everyone always stops at what i like and what i dont like

what other parts are there to me as a person

what creates a personality

INTP

im introverted i get my energy from being alone

im intuitive i activley search for new things and enjoying changing my opinion and evolving

im a thinker i make decisions logically and analyse things before i feel them

im a perciever im more random and spontaneous

but that doesnt tell me anything i dont already know

if i enjoy learning things why am i a nihilist

who do i think of myself as a nihilist if i constantly want reasons and answers

WHAT THE FUCK AM I MISSING

when i talk about my likes i dont actually like them

but when i see them i like them but i think about how i dont like them when talking about them

that doesnt include my interests

specifically naruto ive never been bored talking about naruto

what music do i like

all music music is better than no music no matter what it is

what movies do i like

dead poets society

which is crazy but its a movie about optimism

i know i dont like romance

unless i do

then i do like romance

a very specific lack of fluff but not toxic kind of romance

i wear tshirts and baggy trousers

i dont wear skinny trousers because theyre uncomfy to sit in

that's probably because they dont fir properly

but i dont have the money for properly fitting skinny trousers

they gotta have a stretch

i lie about alot of things

i paint myself as not a lier

but i really am a chronic lier

lying gives me a sense of security i think

i can control what others perceive me as

but i dont want others perceiving me

do i want control

i know people find me annoying but thats been so oversaturated in my life that i really dgaf anymore

everyone finds me annoying and theres nothing i can do about that

i like the dark

idk how to talk about things deeply

im so surface level

so why do i do therapy

i feel like i have nothing deep to talk about

because im so surface level

so why am i like this

i wish other poeple would try to understand me as much as i understand them

if im surface level why do people not understand me

maybe my worst fear is that im making all this shit to be way bigger than it actually is and that im just a normal person with some sort of victim complex

just sick and tired of life i just wanna lay down and never wake up again

i wont be losing anything when i die

[darkshippingconfessions]

idk if this should be put as a tw but

TW for talking about problematic(??) ships

ww im going thru a very bad state and it reached to a point i never thought i would be a darkshipper or start at least enjoying taboo content again,, i feel ashamed like very ashamed for liking extremely weird things. they dont make me happy they dont make me sad its just neutral with a bit of shame on top

like no you guys i will never love minor x adult please never at all its something that makes me personally uncomfy and even when people talk about how much they love it i just feel uneasy and just scroll down to forget and stop thinking about it

i dont hate incest much its just not my thing to exactly like

yeah i love abuse darkship its really my favorite i suffered alot from abuse and it was exhausting but darkship made me feel seen idk how to explain it

i feel extremely weird when someone day theyre a profic pedophile like i dont get it do you actually like kids? dont the proship kick these people out

i personally as a darkshipper i may not ship adult x minor or incest much but if it makes you happy i am glad it does i just hope it doesn't affect them mentally badly and grow up to be like this irl cuz yk its bad im just super scared i will actually turn like this thats why im ashamed of calling myself a darkshipper i just hope i dont start harming children or my sisters i love them dearly and will never attack them at all it just burns my heart seeing myself in a state of overthinking this way

.

[orbeater]

what type of class background do u think the guards come from (like do u think theyre lower class, middle class, upper class)?? i've always wondered abt the class system in rh for some reason............. it scratches an itch in my brain..

feel free to ignore if it makes u uncomfy!

Hey!! No worries I do like talking about potential backstories for the guards and rh worldbuilding lol

If we're applying real life class system to rh, then if i were to take a guess by whatever canon info and the characterisation we have so far, I can only really imagine Edward belonging to an upper class/wealthy family. I don't remember if it was given in canon that he's rich but the way he's written definitely makes me think they were going for a self-absorbed rich boy kind of character with him.

The rest of them don't exactly have any other sort of backstory hint given about them that would indicate anything regarding their financial status, so a lot of it would just boil down to headcanons, which obviously differ person to person. I never really gave the idea of what socioeconomic status they would belong to much of a thought, though it is definitely an important aspect to consider if I'm going to speculate about their backstories or make headcanons for them

I can't exactly come up with an idea of what other sort of fantasy socioeconomic system they could have. I do imagine there might be a societal status difference between people of different elements, like the Light and Dark elements might not be on the best terms, or Water-Fire and Nature-Ice, since they are the polar opposites of each other. Then again that still ends up coming down to headcanons because there isn't exactly any lore about the elements being like. Enemies and stuff. We don't exactly have like a proper way to understand which kingdom would be a developed one and which one is still developing/underdeveloped either, which would give a better view of the economic status of its people

Like there is already a major difference between rh economy and real one considering that diamonds are a universal currency. That would also change the way the system would be made by a LOT, since the idea of only one single currency already makes it much more complicated to imagine how everything would work. (The Candy for Diamond thing may be the only sort of currency exchange we might get to see from the game)

[i-sveikata]

once again, another thing I forgot to mention.

I don't really remember this but didn't Mr. Kan tell vegas to keep it on the low that he sleeps with men from the Russians? So it's possible that this ambush can affect their deal😶

and I like it so much that you're expanding and adding new elements to the plot - like their grandfather and his relationship with his sons.

That will be all of my asks thankfully and once again hope you have a merry christmas and a happy new year ahead

yes anon that's exactly right!!! things are going to be a little uncomfy because they were NOT aware vegas sleeps with men so he got a bit exposed on that front as well when they ambushed them. but i think end of the day business is still business and they came to meet him theyre not going to walk away for that (even if there might be a bit of normalised homophobia coming from them)

oh thank you!! yes really want this universe to feel lived in and generational trauma being revisited on the next generation is a big element of this fic so that means exploring their grandfather and how he might have treated korn and kan to make them the way that they are because he mistreated them and they didnt break the cycle and ended up mistreat their sons in different ways to how they were mistreated. these cycles are hard to break!!!

oh thats okay you can keep asking questions there's no ask limit!! oh thank you same to you merry christmas and many blessings for the new year! ♡

[glamorous-glisten]

You uh really remind me of Athena from Greek Mythology? In a good way though ofc!!! Uh, sorry if this was weird!!-

Uh, you also remind me of an uh morganite?? Again, sorry if it’s weird! I mean this all in a friendly way!

-Amethyst Anon (again! Sorry if this made you uncomfy!!)

I do? Yknow I take that as a major compliment because I love all the gods and goddesses in greek mythology theyre always so beautiful!

You really are the sweetest thank you darling

[cconfusedkat]

it’s honestly pretty refreshing to see other ships such as any of the bishops/lamb aside from JUST narilamb and leshycat (I love both of those ships, don’t get me wrong) but with the limited amount of characters who make good ships it would be nice to explore those other ones too

it is arguable that it would be weird since the lambs were wiped out by the bishops and the bishops were slain by the lamb, but depending on your interpretation of who the lamb is as a person and a god, and also having a redemption arc (just like narinder does, it’s sorta evil vs evil vs evil in cotl so if narinder can get redeemed for his evil, why not everyone else?)

YES YES RAHHHHHH when i got into the fandom when the game came out i only liked narilamb fjmdsm but just recently i bought the game (in april) so i began learning about the actual lore and stuff and all the other characters--i happened to stick to narilamb again for a few weeks until i latched onto lambmura first 😂 then it was kallalamb, leshylamb, lambket, then i started thinking of sozomura, sozolamb, sozoket, kallasozo, foxlamb, DHSJDHAKDJ theres so many i can name so far,, rn i just painfully hyperfixate on sozomura, kallasozo, and lambmurasozogoat (VERY SPECIFIC I KNOW HAAHADJADN)

No no but youre so right, ive seen people uncomfy with bishops/lamb and thats 100% okay! Like you said its literally the fact that they genocided all of lambs race,, so like,,, yes arguably weird-- EXACTLY EXACTLY I AGREE!! I know each persons lamb is different, so mine for instance only started warming up to the bishops after aboutttt.... a couple of years ("a couple" more like thirty 😭😭) so that their respects are still being paid by the ex bishops, they were able to even start a new for the lamb species :-D it took a long while to get where they are now but theyre all just trying to get along and the one thats had the longest relationship arc had to be shamura because theyve had a rough time adjusting to the cult so lamb in general didnt really want to forgive any of them to begin with-- a tough battle with narinder but an even tougher one with forgiving and *never* forgetting, rather a new chance of "mortal" life and to never make any mistake ever again (ITS NOT LIKE THAT THEY COULD ANYWAYS CUZ THE CROWNS BECAME INACTIVE BUT FHSJFWJKF)

ALSO AHGHG SORRY FOR INFODUMPIMG,,,, I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID DHSJDJWJF redemption arc for each bishop!! Itd just be odd to ship them with lamb if they didnt really redempt,, it takes many years to do that too,, relationship build ups are so important here too and and !!! HDSDJS YES. SORRY AGAIN I LOVE THIS FROM MY ASKBOX !!! 😭😭🙏🙏

Edit: (JUST REALIZING I MISREAD A BIT. Didnt mean to focus on just lambs species wiped out but that lamb slaying the bishops too was another factor like said, and lamb varies from player to player--i think its funny a bit if theyre like ironically bad but me personally i just want my own to actually have build ups, lore, complex relationships, growing into godhood, realizations, etc etc,,, so so important and its so fun to build lamb as a character too i think!! I love redemption arcs WAAH)

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Request guidelines

<back to masterlist

I'll probably continue to add to this

Requests are: Open closed

I won't write:

Fandoms I write for:

I usually only write for the fandom that I'm currently hyper fixated on so the hyperfixation is in pink and all the other ones are in blue slightly more inclined to write about than blue is green just because I'm not fixated on it doesn't mean I can't write for you it's just the chance lowers a lil

Marauders

Slytherin boys

Lockwood & Co

Supernatural

Bottoms

Criminal minds

The umbrella academy

Kickass

The hunger games (including tbosas & sotr)

Billy the kid <3

Once upon a time

Actually really embarrassing but that's it?

CNC, noncon, dubcon, ect. - I have my own experiences that I will not be sharing on my request guidelines but these subjects are triggering to me and not writing it deal with it

Stepcest - same reason as the above^^

Active eating disorder, sh, things in that area - again it's a triggering subject for me and I really hope people struggling get the help they need but I'm not writing that no thank you I'll consider writing recovering though not extremely fresh recovery but you get it right

Piv - right yeah idk it makes me uncomfy and I've never written it before similarly writing blow jobs is kinda iffy for me so I might not end up writing them

Large age gaps, dad's best friend, things in that flavor - the only age gap I'll accept is like supernatural creature and adult not like freshly 18 think like adult yk you get it

Hate fucks, Extremely mean doms, sex with the tone that they actually hate each other - I don't like writing it. I cry if someone doesn't respond to me in a day. I'm crybaby suck my dick dude also I don't even really love degradation and you may be thinking "but elliot ive read your work before and you had degradation in there" and you'd be correct I didn't write that dialogue sometimes I'm writing and I go "yeah they'd degrade them rn" and then I go to my degradation support team (3 of my friends) and I start talking to them like theyre secret agents about to go on a mission and then their feedback is almost always "stab them, make him cry" "you know I have a friend who writes smut" and "cockslut would go great right there" so if you're reading my smut and you come across degradation now you know it's origin story good job dude proud of you

Honestly quite frankly I don't totally love writing Smut I usually try to avoid it bc it takes a lot of energy from me

Song fics - I'll do inspired by songs like my footnote one but I'll never put the lyrics in there one time I was reading a fic I didn't know it was a song fic and out of nowhere one of the characters said "see that's my down bitch that's my soldier" I still laugh about that to this day also I'll never write with Taylor Swift in mind I hate her with a burning passion but you do you ig

I love writing:

Autistic reader - I'm autistic so it's more self serving than anything

Trans characters including reader - I love seeing a character and thinking "right I love them but what if, and get this, they're trans?" And also on that topic I'm trans so like you're safe here babe

Poly ships - Everytime I see a ship and I'm like "ugh god they're both hot who do I pick" I have an epiphany where I go "wait who said I had to chose?" And then I start writing a poly ship

Gay characters - why be straight when you can just not?

Weirdos - I love making characters just like a little bit weird I love it it's so much fun yk like walk in on Barty trying to hide himself in a kitchen cabinet I love it so much

Things to keep in mind:

I'm still in school so some days I might have more freetime and motivation than others

I'm not always comfortable writing smut sometimes I just want to sit in a dark room and not have skin I'm a person not an AI writing generator

My hyperfixations can end very quickly and return just as fast sometimes I'll be knee deep in a fixation getting and answering requests left and right but It can lose my attention very quickly and leave requests unanswered in my inbox for months I still have two mattheo riddle requests from like January in there

I'm a lil dumb and might misinterpret your request

I write what I know and I don't know everything (obviously) but if you send me a request and I don't know much about it I'll do my best to research it and fulfill your request as best I can

I like constructive criticism I'll probably cry but again I'm a crybaby I cried once because I dropped my spoon so don't take it as an offense constructive criticism does not include calling me a slur

I try to keep my fics as inclusive as possible I don't like having gendered fics on my blog bc it's leaving out someone but if you need to get specific for a plot device I understand

[dtkqer]

i feel like im kinda neutral for the situation to be brought up again, im not like a big fan of seeing it pop up randomly sometimes but from what i can understand ig it can be healing for some ppl to talk through the situation given it rlly upset/triggered a lot of ppl? but i also get that doesnt work for everyone. idk its complex bc some ppl heal better by moving on and doing other things, some may prefer to talk through it. tho in general i just block/unfollow/mute/whatever if i dont like what someones saying bc ive kinda accepted that ppl will say whatever they want on here and some of it may be uncomfy to see. but yeah i do get feeling tired of it being brought up bc i do want to move on, but i feel that the fandom will better move on when content (and george) come back and things feel somewhat normal again. its just a waiting game for normalcy at the moment for us which is why a lot of ppl haven't moved on. (holy heck this got long sorry for the essay 😭)

i think this is really fair! i also get the sense that people also dont want to see the discussion BECAUSE the discussion is triggering and all so there really is no easy solution to moving on vs staying there and attempting to heal through it. people do whats best for them, but i still feel the critique is still warranted in some parts not because it shouldnt be talked about at all or censored, but because theres nothing new to be said outside of personal feelings about ccs or youtubers or whatever that gets into weird misogynistic rhetoric or obsessing over who did what wrong and what they continue to do wrong. i feel like THAT can be dangerous to fixate on and encourage non critical discussion on, not people's own personal stories or thoughts about the situation itself in the service of venting (which can be good for some and thats less what i mean when talking about how repetitive the conversation gets because its personal). for me its just stuff like caiti is a monster and hannah is irredeemable for these reasons but this chad who only knows cursory details of the situation is based for saying caiti is a master manipulator that i dont like encouraging or engaging discussion on months after the fact. things will get better but i think people should continue to reallyyyy think through the implications of what theyre saying when agreeing or disagreeing/hating on certain parties and also! think about the extremely fine line between encouraging discussion and enabling objectively shitty opinions and going into freak territory no matter the reach you might have or anything like that. but i understand the situation was a lot to process so again i dont fault people for still staying in their emotions even if its not my own way of dealing with it. i think getting george back will help us a lot :')

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

A month plus ago, someone randomly slid into my dms claiming they knew me from primary school.

He finally said his name was danial K (oh boy, not another danial 😂). Funny enough, this was the last person i would think to ever try to connect with me? He was one of the popular ones back in school and i was surprised he knew me. we would sometimes see eachother in passing but we never acknowledged the other’s existence. So i was caught off guard he even recognised who i was. A little back story, him and his sister were well known in school because theyre half white in a sea of purely malay kids intrigued by the exoticness of an anomaly.

He told me he wanted to get to know me better and be friends? He was apparently very close to (probably seeing?) my bestfriend at the time so he mentioned that he knew me from her i think. Or observed? He said we looked tightknit (we fought often btw but she did give me a hamster) and he says if shes nice then i must be nice too. I dont know if hes trying to replicate what he had with my friend with me bc our conversations always somehow involved her. And i feel like one way for him to reconnect with her was through me? I lost contact with her agesss agoo, and shes off the grid. So i dont know how i felt about this whole thing.

Then as we got to chatting, the more wariness i felt about him being a douche lessened. He was notoriously known to be a player. He told me he peaked in primary and was bullied violently in secondary. He told me people made fun of him being short (i didnt know this) and name-called him saying he looked like megamind (this i knew). There were awful rumours about his sister too that she leaked her nudes (which apparently i bought in at the time and he said none of it was true). It wasnt just the name-calling, it was physical abuse too. I felt bad because of what he went through. he wasnt the type to fight back and hes super patient, which is admirable. It dispelled my initial perception of him and i really fed into the rumours. He really did peak in primary as he mentioned how much he enjoyed his time there (i hated primary). he also has broken English eventho his father's white.

so after all the conversations of good ol times in primary (of his). he started to text me every single day. he would ask me what I ate for lunch, breakfast, dinner and repeat; asked how work was and wished me good luck for work, repeat. now it was getting a little exhausting when conversations were like this. since he asked if we could be friends, and i said sure why not. but he was taking this label very seriously, like something he had to prove himself worthy of. he started calling me "bestie waina" and with every single breath. he always without fail, mentioned that I was his "bestie" and striving to become the "best bestie I ever had". He was becoming borderline obsessive about being my best friend. he refers to himself in third person;__; (ex: "danial is going to work", "danial misses my bestie waina") or "oh I love working offshore, you [sometimes he would also call me "you"]" + "i only think about 3 things when I'm away: myself, my family, and my bestie waina". he asked me once whats a green flag in a bf. so at this point i haven't expressed me being uncomfie bc I'm a ppl pleaser and an avoidant, so when he pulled that qn i was like oh this is my time to shine! so i told him "besties don't always text each other every time, only when they have something to say, they give space, and being bestfriends takes years :) " he reads my texts as soon as it was sent. no matter the time of the day, even at ungodly hours, hoping he wasnt gonna reply bc he was asleep - he still did! like girl............... but after that particular text, he opened it 16 hours after lol, and said he will tone it down. it didn't last. it took 5 days for him to resume his routine of asking me what I ate again.

it was getting out of hand because he said things like "where are you? what are you doing? i would teleport to where you are if I could" and it was just plain creepy. so I lied and I said I'm seeing someone I matched with on tinder. he replied "I support you my BFF waina" so I started to think, maybe he does only want to be friends. but then he pulls "thanks for telling me you're going out w a guy" and I was like huh?????? I didnt say it because I felt obligated but I said it so that he would back off. again, the male species fails to understand these things. But I knew it tipped him off, bc he replied over a day later. to add, he also said he wanted to save "kr8" (as in credit, yes he types like he's stuck in the early 20s) because the wifi wasnt stable so he's gonna log out and stay in touch in April (before knowing he was like this, I said yeah we could meet up :") ) so we stopped texting.

but it doesnt end thereeeeeeeeeeeee.

i told this ordeal to my cousin 2 weeks after who said I should block him. she convinced my avoidant ass by saying I don't owe him anything. I like the idea of running away from my problems, thinking it would solve itself so I did! at the time, ig didn't give me the option to "also block new accs they might create".

oh boy, two days later, he made two different ig accounts to text me...... . i knew it was him because one had a similar username as his old one. i immediately disabled my ig for 3 days bc I was so damn frightened.i only opened it back because everyone was telling me to communicate.

Both DMs from those two accs were sent at a 15 min intervals. one was a cryptic ominous "You". The other was a long text message about how he was upset and he didn't get why I did what I did (I felt bad of course, bc again I didn't say anything instead my people-pleasing ass was just going w the flow until it all became too much). then he started victimising himself, said things like he'll heal on his own, he will stay strong. he even gaslit me and said "he forgave me" lmao. he said he didn't see the point of ig anymore (the ig he used to contact me was a burner account. i was the only mutual) so he disabled all three accounts.

his final text was him giving out his phone number if i ever wanted to talk to him. so although all his accounts were disabled, i could still text these accounts from laptop (glitch). so i lied and said i had a bf (bc ya... i didn't want the blame all on me) and that this "bf" wasnt happy w me talking to other guys so i did what he told me. i told denial i was sorry repeatedly. that he deserved a meaningful friendship with someone else. because the guilt ate me alive. he's sent his phone no. before on 3 diff occasions btw. the first one, I told him I was uncomfortable w sharing. so in that final text to him, I made it clear that i was NOT gonna text him through whatsapp (that's just asking for it). i told him this already. then consumed by anger, i retorted saying that i mentioned friends give each other space, but he chose to ignore that. and also "please don't create any more new accounts to text me. it makes me feel unsafe." the end