#again thanks for sticking around! i miss the frog show and love giffing her!

[nerdalmighty]

You're all suspicious!

Requested by @deerbot36

[smolbeandrabbles]

Thank You Muppets, No More Questions! - Ralph Anderson x Reader (The Outsider)

@happyskywhale @wltz-bby​ #MendoTagSquad.

GIF CREDIT: X

Sure Be Cool If You Did / Bienvenue From Hell, Mon Amour / Made in the USA / Cold Night / I Could Not Ask For More /  Under The Weather

Author’s Note: I watched Wreck-It Ralph and The Muppets Most Wanted with @mandy23b​ and this happened. That’s all I wish to say!  100% inspired by the baking scene (and then I stole the song-!) Please enjoy a soft, adoptive father and his little girl 🙏💙

Interrogation Song - The Muppets

Disclaimer: The Outsider characters not mine (Book setting rather than show setting)

Premise: With you out on call this weekend you leave it to your workaholic partner to entertain your daughter...

Words: 2890

Warnings: N/A (Insulin warning?)

____   Kermit, let's begin Describe the day you played Berlin... Hmm, Frog we've got our doubts Can you confirm your whereabouts My alibi is watertight The audience saw me sing all night Hello, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop... I think she likes me I don't think your puns are helping the investigation You know, I think they did it No they didn't Yes they did, and we can pin it If they did, how did they do it If they didn't, how did they didn't If they didn't then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it If they did it, then I knew it, but we've nothing that can prove it Let's go from the start What do you know about the stolen art I didn't know there was a plan Your accusation is far out man The chances of us committing a crime Are less than .009 Thank you Muppet's, no more questions They didn't, No, they didn't There's no way they did the crime They couldn't they're too stupid They're not criminal masterminds We do not know who did it, but we know who didn't do it So we know who didn't do it yes we know who didn't do it They're incapable of being culpable ---

It was unusual for you to be the one on call of the two of you, but if you were honest with yourself you’d taken it just to give Ralph a break. When the usual ‘Who is going to be on call this weekend?’ question was brought up and no one else said anything, you knew Ralph would raise his hand, because he nearly always did. Instead you snatched his hand back and raised your own. “I’ll do it.” Ralph was not the only one to give you a funny look, but he was the only one to raise an eyebrow and give you a sarcastic; “Well this is unprecedented!” which, if you didn’t love him so much, he would have received a kick for. So you were wandering around the house doing bits of tidying, waiting for the phone to ring and generally odd admin you hadn’t finished. Ralph, on the other hand, had essentially been forced by you to relax – and of course, you had Renee as a secret weapon when that initially failed. That meant they were sitting on the couch together, and watching ‘The Muppets Most Wanted’. She of course thought it was hilarious; Ralph, as he usually was with fiction, was a little bemused – but he would stick it out to entertain her. Of course he would – you were pretty sure he’d do anything for that little girl. You crossed behind them just as the Interrogation begun – and you couldn’t help but pause behind the couch to watch the musical number. Afterall, it wasn’t every day you heard someone singing about interviewing suspects – given how unusual your day job was – you’d seen the movie a couple of times at Renee’s insistence, and this one was one of your favourites. You were happy that Ralph looked content, although you couldn’t help but smirk at his body language as the song continued and pretty soon his bemusement was beginning to show on his face. It was all you could do to snort, making them both turn around. “I’m sorry.” “Finished then?!” Ralph hit pause and turned to you, “Oh you know... If only I was able to sit down. I know every word to this one!” “You would.” He turned back, “It’s the most unrealistic thing to happen so far!” You tsk’d him, but that only caused Renee to turn to him with wide eyes; “That’s not how questions happen-!?” You watch his face wrestle between entertaining her fantasy and telling her the truth. Ralph sighed, opting to be the sensible one, “No.” You, on the other hand, would rather be the unhelpful tease, “Yes, absolutely! Of course it is!” You nodded to Ralph, “Gosh, Renee you should hear him sing.” You reached out to run a hand through his hair, “Always gets a confession.” It didn’t earn you much more than a death glare. Ralph straightened in his seat and then folded his arms, “In that case you’re the French guy! Clocks off at 2, vacation after you’ve solved something, Lunch for three hours!” “Yeah alright Sam, but you’re the one with the car that takes 37 hours to get anywhere-!” Alright, Ralph couldn’t argue that he had an older car than you did, and you liked to tease him about being a relic – but it suited him and still did it’s damn job. Ralph grumbled to himself, but said no more, making you lean over and kiss his face and then her head; “I’ll leave you two to it! We should totally sing our way through an interrogation, though!” That only caused Ralph to scoff with a sarcastic ‘HA!’ as you walked back to the kitchen giggling to yourself.

**

The movie was just about ending when you passed through again, but Ralph had a keen ear and had heard your phone chime. You were fully kitted out, badge, cuffs, firearm holstered. “Call?” “Mhm. I shouldn’t be too long…” You pulled on your jacket, “Be good okay?” “I will!” Renee sat up on the sofa to throw her arms around you, “I love you mommy!” But Ralph just smiled, knowing that you were really talking to him, “I love you too sweetheart. Look after him for me…” Ralph’s arms were around you before you’d let her go, and then his lips were on yours; “If you need back up-” “I’m not calling you…” You kissed him again, “Rest, babe. Please.” “Okay-!” He held his hands up, “Stay safe.” “I will! See you two soon-! Enjoy your afternoon!” You made your way towards the hall side table for your car keys, and Ralph couldn’t help but call after you; “Imagine being told Detective Anderson is turning up to the case and they expect me!” He grinned and you turned at the door, tempted to throw something at him, knowing exactly what was about to come out of his mouth, “Only it’s you, Ms. ‘SS’ Andersson.” You narrowed your eyes, opening the door and wishing you had more time to shout sarcasm; “And then they probably think – oh, thank god!” He cackled loudly “Oh! Okay that’s a good comeback!” As the credits began to roll Ralph turned to Renee; “Well sweetheart, what would you like to do now?” She gave him a delicate shrug; “I’m not sure.” “Oh… Well that’s okay, whilst you decide, I’m going get a coffee, okay?” She nodded absentmindedly, already looking thoughtful and Ralph kissed her forehead gently before he walked off and set about making his coffee. “Ralphie…?” He tried very hard not to smile at the nickname only she got to call him, as Renee called quietly from behind the couch, one shy eye peered at him from over the top, “What is it sweetheart?” Her eyes flicked from his to the cupboard behind him that he’d left open, he followed her eyeline and didn’t have to be a detective to figure out she was looking at the box cake mixture sitting on the top shelf. Cooking wasn’t exactly Ralph’s forte, but he thought he probably couldn’t mess that up. “Ah-!” Ralph reached up and took the box down, studying the back for a minute; “Well… There’s obviously mixture in here… I think we should have everything else…” He pondered this for a moment, taking a sip of coffee. “Dunno what mom is gonna say, considering she’s never my biggest fan if I make a mess in the kitchen…” Clearly it was a little too long for her liking, Ralph felt the pressure on his left calf as Renee wrapped herself around his leg – peering up at him with very nearly the same shade of blue eyes that he had. Ralph couldn’t ignore it; so placing one hand behind him, he touched the top of her head lightly. “Please…!” He smiled, “Aw, you think I’d say no to that face? Don’t worry we just gotta be extra vigilant about clearing up…” Ralph knelt down and scooped her up, setting her down on the counter and handing her the box; “What do we need Renee? Let’s find it shall we?” She began listing off the equipment and remaining ingredients not included in the box – and Ralph stood in front of the cupboards trying to remember your exact set up. He counted them to himself; before settling on the third one in from the right. Upon opening it, there was a bright post-it note that he couldn’t fail to miss. A neat little list of everything that was contained in here; about the one time he regretted ever introducing you to one Ms.Holly Gibney. If anything was even an inch out of place, or in the wrong order, you would most certainly yell at him… Mind you, it’d done wonders for your detective work, so Ralph wasn’t about to complain too much. On a side note, he’d picked the correct cupboard and this list was making it easier to find everything, so he had it all in no time at all. “Alright!” He pulled her, giggling, off the counter and stood Renee carefully on a chair, making sure he supported her – having laid out all the ingredients neatly, “You ready sweetheart – I think you got this, I will be but your humble assistant-!” She beamed up at him, “You’ll be the best assistant, Ralphie!” He couldn’t help his chuckle, “Aw, gee thanks for that – I guess we’ll find out!” But something was apparently missing by the puzzled look she soon got on her face, “Is something wrong?” “Mommy always cooks to music…” That was true enough, in fact there wasn’t a lot you didn’t do to music. “Ah, do you wanna pick something?” “No, you can pick.” “Oh! Well, thank you…” He sat her down and jogged through to your CD collection, trawling the shelves for a little while for an album he could proclaim would be equally kid friendly and something he liked. He found himself staring at one in particular, before he pulled it out. The Muppets Soundtrack – of course. “Oh you have GOT to be kidding me-!?” He turned it over and laughed again at discovering it did indeed contain the ‘Interrogation Song’. Ralph might have been shaking his head, but it was the album that he carried back to the kitchen and popped into the player, making Renee gasp excitedly; “The Muppets!” “Uh huh,” Ralph agreed a little sheepishly, “The Muppets.” Ralph watched Renee carefully, helping her every step of the way so that the mixture was completed with the upmost care – and so that she had the best time doing it. That did of course mean flour everywhere, but he felt he could deal with that himself – and once the batter was made, he helped her pour it into a cake tin and smooth it down. “Tada! Perfect!” She gave him a high-five and then folded her arms, “That’s only half the job-!” “Well decorating is the FUN part that’s for sure. But it’s gotta bake first, huh?” She nodded and he helped her to the floor, before carefully sliding the tin into the oven and setting the timer. “I guess we wait for a little now…” He turned to the CD player upon recognising the song he felt was going to end up the bane of his life now. It didn’t matter, by the time you were back home Ralph would have it completely memorised. They had both spent the cooking and cooling time trying to figure out the next movie to watch, and by the time that was done the cake was ready; “Do you have any idea how you want to decorate it?” “…No.” “Well, head chef, you better start thinking about it.” “Like the Muppets-!” She grinned, and Ralph faltered “Like th- I dunno if my artistic talent is gonna be that good, but there’s no harm in trying I guess…!”

***

"Why are you covered in flour?” You didn’t exactly demand it. But standing in the doorway to your kitchen with your hands on your hips and a raised eyebrow as if to say ‘who has been messin’ in here NOW!?’ was enough. Ralph froze, putting both his hands up in protested innocence; ‘let me explain!’, before placing a finger to his lips he pointed to the living room couch. You turned on your heels to see Renee curled up watching something else. Crossing the kitchen to him as silently as possible you inspected everything – not a speck of dust in sight, let alone flour, and yet his shirt was now almost covered in white flecks and there was even a little in his hair. Still, Ralph thought ‘covered’ was a little dramatic. You lowered your voice, “Okay, what happened?” He smiled slightly, “We were baking. I tided up.” “Oh. Lord help us. What did you make?” “You’re the one who had the box cake mix.” “Box cake? Oh! Count me in, I love cake. And I deserve it, I’ve been working all day.” He scoffed, giving you a disbelieving look, “Well I’m waiting for the icing to set…” but then Ralph’s face softened, “How was the call out?” “Easy, it’s okay. Nothing massive. No follow up needed, paperwork at the office.” You waved your notebook at him, knowing the question he was going to ask before he did, “Don’t worry I made notes.” “That’s my girl…” Ralph smiled, impressed, and then indicated to the cake sitting on the counter; “Tell me what you think… That’s my hard work.” “Uh huh!” You smiled gently, walking over to it, “You always work hard Mr.Anderson, I don’t think you ever stop.” “I got a lot to work hard for…” You looked back to him, but he wasn’t looking at you and that only made you smile more before you turned your attention to his decorating skills. No one could ever say he didn’t love that girl. The Muppets logo was pretty well drawn all things considered – the characters you assumed had been done by Renee, but that only made you grin so much your cheeks started to hurt. “I sense a theme-!” “Yeah, I’d say.” He grinned gently, and did turn around to you, “I mean I did alright, right?” You crossed back to him, winding your arms around his waist and kissing him softly, “Alright? I’d say that was pretty damn on point, Detective…” “Well. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy myself. I know that damn song now too.” Ralph’s arms held you, and he brushed his nose to yours “Aw! Sweet father-daughter bonding time?” You made a mental note to test him on the lyrics later. That made him look away for a moment and shake his head, cheeks tinted; “…I’m not her father.” You turned his head back to you with your fingertips gently, “You’re as close as Renee’s ever going to get.” And then to help; “I’m not her mom.” “She does call you mommy, though.” You turned back to look at her, and wondered if his feelings had changed since you’d last brought this up with him; “And you don’t wanna be dad?” There was a long pause, as he watched Renee too, before Ralph breathed out; “So badly. But I’m working on it.” He kissed your forehead, “Your last name first.” “It’s her last name too, you know?” “Yeah exactly.” He nodded, touching his head to yours, hands running your arms, “One thing at a time...” Your eyes flicked from her to the screen, and you squinted at the animation for a moment; “Wreck-It Ralph, huh? Wonder why she picked this one!” There was no way Ralph Anderson wasn’t her favourite person ever. You were extremely lucky to have met him, this you already knew from your own point of view – but for her, you could not have asked for a better man. He chuckled; “Oh I dunno! She must have good taste in names. I can’t help that!” “You know Ralph and Venelope end up baking in this right?” “Do they?” You shook your head, “You’re unbelievable! Get over there! Sit and watch it...” “Uh uh, not without you, not this time!” “I need to get changed out of this.” “I think you’re still on call, Miss.” “Oh, shut up!” You grumbled – although he said nothing more, and you found yourselves standing in an embrace in the kitchen watching the screen – you couldn’t remember this one as well as you ought to have; but some aspects had stuck and you smiled; “You know I’m so Fix- It Felix in this.” “Hm? How so?” Ralph was at least following well enough whilst tidying up to know who you were talking about. “Falling for and subsequently swooning over a complete badass!” How could he not be after what went down in Texas? He was anyway; Ralph just wasn’t loud about it. He scoffed, folding his arms, but Ralph couldn’t also help his smirk; “Oh is that so-!?” “Uh huh.” You nodded, pushing yourself up on your toes to kiss him – but he didn’t leave it there; hoisting you up into his arms Ralph carried you over to the couch, “That’s it. You’re officially off call now!” “You’re gonna get me in so much trouble!” He laughed, “Rather you than me – now come on, let’s watch this movie… Besides, there’s cake later!” Renee, upon realising you were back, was only all too happy to crawl into your arms and sit between your legs as you sat between Ralph’s. You turned to him, “You do know what’s going on right?” “I have been following. Besides I’m a detective, I’ll figure it out.” You kissed the top of Renee’s head, “What do you think Sweetie? You think he has this? He has baking down, don’t you think? You both made a beautiful cake…” She beamed in thanks, before staring up at Ralph again, “I think Ralphie knows what’s happening… I trust him.” You swivelled in place to grin at him, before kissing his cheek, “You’re right, I trust him too.” He chuckled, “Oh, okay, you two are gonna make me blush-!” “Always the aim.” You laughed as he kissed you back “Well, I’m a lucky man for you both to trust me…” You were both still staring at him though, with that same look Ralph was so used to seeing at this point, like he could do absolutely no wrong; “I think…” you mused gently, with a sweet smile, “We’re the lucky ones…”

---

Thank you for reading!!! 😘❤