#again like never moved to do ''original'' stuff so that also just gave me grounds to Draw besides in my notebook margins during class

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of happening to manage to go away to college ft. a shakespeare theater within walking distance & not just student pricing & pwyw but a freshman course taken at/with the theater / company, fun to think about all the nonzero exposure scattered all around to Theatre that i could be interested in & engaged with & respond to the idea of theatremaking big time but i had no context for this lmao like well i assume everyone adores Rehearsal & Playing A Role & Being Backstage or In The Greenroom just doing your own thing & the Idea of more of this, so that i feel neutral/average really

like on the note of no context, started dance classes as a Thing To Do when i was all of three? four? on the basis of [older sibling doing that] b/c like how else do i choose doing something. also did that w/[older sibling is being taught playing piano] + that i like to know how to do many things, like determined speedrunning of an edutainment learn to read computer program when i was three, except playing the piano never caught on for me (it'd be fine if it got to the point a song was muscle memory but i never got the hang of oh this note written here is [whatever it is without me having to count the steps in the staff] & ah that's here [without me having to look / count the keys]) so that was a miserable half hour weekdayly requirement for years. whereas dance was alright, & for a while the performance angle could be kind of fun for rehearsal, onstage, costuming, but didn't really have Roles, & was yknow everyone doing the same part at the same time & taller people in the back if there's rows, what older students did seemed more fun, plus like an annual nyc trip some did which didn't happen by the time it was relevant to me....but when it finally kind of kicked off like oh boy pointe shoes have panache & Make Noise (i suppose ideally you're quieter with it but ideally to me, Clonk Bonk Tap. & why not) but speaking of why not, that this also involved like oh shows that have Scenes & Roles even if this is all dance w/pantomime, got solos, costumes, more acting adjacent, more rehearsing, plenty of fun to me, unforch one of the most fun shows was ballet but in less Classical form & more character styles & i had the parent who could make anything into an ego issue who decided things Ought to be Classical despite knowing i enjoyed the more character style techniques as much or more lol so that was like, oh boy an adagio claire de lune quartet? pinch me. however a few more wins in there, fun getting to do a Cats inspired facepaint leg/armwarmers character that some absolute random audience member apparently liked so much their dad was like hey your number one fan, can we get a pic. which is in fact a great basis of an interaction to me

had a damper on dance class anyways from like lord the increasing gender "i'd rather not wear fitted dance garments" problems & my left knee getting more sensitive & my just more wearied like i don't see Fun Performances down the line, i was never doing this besides as a hobby, i'm gearing up to go to college where i kind of assume i could fail asap but the idea of keeping up with dance classes too is a bit much so what if we just didn't....meanwhile a drop of Drama(tm) in middle school, but just as like cycle of elective courses four per year so very Brief & i don't think was part of 6th grade's & yknow, middle school. but it was really fun to me still, not sure what all i even learned lol & yet. & like one time it was like uhh write your own scenes / play & Writing Original Stuff has never been a thing for me & is not only unrewarding but yknow difficult like i don't know. writing Vocab Sentences in like first grade i started to get annoyed at how contrived it felt & the teacher complained the sentences were too simple like clearly the context of what the word means is there but i'm sick of making up narrative beats & character arcs that have fuckall to do with me understanding what a bleacher is, but when i decided to Theme them on a computer game i enjoyed then i could rock n roll lol....anyway so Writing Material just became throwing preexisting characters in a bin & just being silly making jokes / stringing some fun plot along w/the acquaintances in the group assigned to be making this, & then Performing it was a high time i was like i love to do fun comedic stuff & be a villain, throwback to fourth grade and doing scenes from julius caesar like yaayyy nongendered casting b/c all the roles are guys anyway & i'm technically a villain which i enjoyyy, but i'm also like i wish anyone told me anything at all about acting techniques, i don't know what i'm doing beyond [talk loud enough]....feedback on the middle school class homemade performance was that nobody really knew what was supposed to be going on while watching it lmao like well that's fine b/c i'm not interested in writing fuckall, could've stood to have feedback that Enjoying Performing Onstage even that goofaroundly wasn't just expriencing the universal baseline lol ah well. my useful personalized feedback from middle school besides that as ever it was great that i got good grades & kept my head down (reading) was the librarian saying nobody checked out rebecca but i might like it, i did have fun & it's like oh nice when there's pleasant nontransactional gestures For No Reason i.e. you didn't even have to "earn" them, i was just getting to hang out reading in the library at the end of the school day. fond memory still like ah being readily handed one of the crushed oreos & gummy worm cups at the end of some early elementary school year Just Because i was there, wasn't that moved by like figurative pats on the head for good grades or what have you when i understood the conditionality of that just fine

in college like Introducing That Shakespeare Theatre like i sure did respond to getting to be up close & personal w/some professional actors & acting & plays, great time attending....kinda was tempted to get involved in the school theatre going on w/classes or productions but at this point it was like, i don't want my parents to be involved in anything at all ideally but especially not something i do suspect i'd genuinely enjoy & care about, plus it was like uh oh there'll be all these ppl older than me with even experience doing plays in high school & stuff :/ but another real damper was being around age peers incl my roommate who still Also had theatre experience & interest much more established & would be telling me like oh you're not a tenor if you're a man or oh you're not doing xyz right that way (based on their own perspective doing a whole other activity) like i love info & tips sure but not people feeling In Charge of me or even giving the awkward biting back genuine feedback wow nice good lmao....knowing some theatre people with theatre knowledge a bit helpful like oh these are some bway shows / cast recordings from like, the '00s & on, i've heard of Some of these, i've seen some macys parade show names....still just lacking context like what the hell Is broadway, just talked about like gonna take a while like it's this location & this technical capacity based venue designation & here's further context yet. still never really Did Theatre but seemed like a fun thing of Course ppl would be interested in, but luckily some Experiencing Performances, saw live stage shows in various mediums at various levels of professionality now & then, in retrospect like oh i think i saw some bway stuff Touring a few times, i just had no idea that was a ting, nobody explained shit lmao. disinterested parents who just kind of expected you to magically Pick Things Up by virtue of existing, but also don't ambiently pick up the things i don't want you to know about, you can bet it all always worked out great....parents at least a Bit interested in theatre / specific shows / recordings was certainly handy like oh okay not everyone would happen to be exposed to some shows even thusly, sure, but again like with no context / further info or really further way to engage with that....also backing off like i ripped off my siblings' pastime when i was three re: dance classes, just b/c their doing lively musical productions in high school seems super fun like i can't Also rip them off on that one (plus even like yeah family / parental proximity & attendance like eugh....)

like that the How Do You Even Get Context like all the time i'd be amazed if stuff i read or watched that i super enjoyed was like Also something i could find in the outside world, other people who liked it, even just the ability to procure it, like wow magical b/c yknow everything is just what i experienced by myself at home w/no significant onlineness yet or way to travel anywhere else. just pouncing on proximate enough things like queer & have to go to church? hell yeah tenor harmonies time & it's always Be Quieter Be Quieter lol well everyone else step it up, there's like 5x as many sopranos with 5x the rehearsal time going over The Melody....but seriously folks. only showing up late for an online breakout popular Current Bway Musical like oh hey btw what Is any of this? & still don't much know what goes on but at least a little more than i did for sure, plus i just don't keep my finger on the pulse of fuckall, i'm not so much more likely to check out musicals for the sake of being musicals so much more than i do movies b/c they're movies, maybe a little more likely though sure lol....& i just have more of that context like ohhh yeah i did super big time like doing live performance & theatremaking stuff the ways i got to / related activities, i just figured like well me & everyone else having the exact same response i'm sure. or same with enjoying taking it in, i suppose

which nowadays it's still like bummer i Never took in any acting technique just b/c it annoys me not to have anything besides idk making it up, also bummer idk how to sing any better than [also making it up] like no technique known barely in the same way, & i just like knowing things, i'd value knowing it just for singing to myself when nobody's around & i like to do a little performing too when pertinent, e.g. more than survive in the kitchen & i'm doing the choreography lol....utterly abstract though like i love to See people acting the crap out of acting & be like oh shit damn wowww, don't Really feel like ah actor au me is just over there....not even sure like ah you can be backstage in other ways, like i do not know how lol plus likewise i just don't think it's gonna come up yknow like we'll cross bridges when we come to them, who knows in this life. but i'm having the highest time ever as Audience, not live & in person but online & lively, like oh fuck yes finally digging into the relatively nicher more specific theatre live performace acting singing musicaling stuff i'd more specifically enjoy like pointing hands to head yelling are you seeing thising getting everything that i want so i do feel like it's worked out well. maybe low level for randos acting / singing instructing just cuz i like to Know & have the Option to wrangle playing around w/effects one can engage with but in the meantime like i Have always cherished proximity & audienceship so. fr Yayyy 💖

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Marriage Problems Chapter 2

Summary: They’ve been married for 19 years, their 20th anniversary coming up soon.  Older, busier, and stuck on the repeat of their daily lives, Y/N and Bucky are struggling.  Their marriage is good, but feeling rocky the last few years as they’ve settled into this stage of their lives.  Can they get their spark back?  Or is it better to do the unthinkable, and move on without each other?

Warnings:  language, forced kiss, eventual smut

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Bucky rushed home after work that day.  The presentation had gone well, securing his bonus, but had run over the time he’d originally planned.  He had texted Y/N, but never got a response.  He got home as fast as he could, walking into the kitchen to find it empty.  Fuck, missed dinner, he thought, chastising himself as he unloaded his things and cleaned them.  He walked toward the sound of the kids’ voices in the front room.  They were all spread out on the floor doing homework, spouting off endless questions to Y/N, who was trying her best to help them while also mediating between Winnie and Becca, which seemed like a constant these days.

“Mama she won’t stop brushing her eraser shavings on my paper!” Winnie whined, trying to shove the eraser bits back toward Becca.

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying,” Becca whined back.  “Not everything I do is to spite you.  Maybe if you wouldn’t sit so close to me they wouldn’t land on your stuff!”

“Guys, please,” Y/N sighed, rubbing her eyes.

“Hello my loves,” Bucky called out, trying to distract them.

The kids all looked up at him with smiles on their faces, quickly getting up and giving him hugs and greetings before sitting back down.  Bucky moved over and around them to Y/N, kneeling down next to her.  She gave him a small smile in greeting.  “How did your presentation go?” she asked quietly.

“We got it,” he replied, smiling at her.  

“Congratulations,” Y/N’s smile widened.

It was one of the few real smiles he’d gotten from her in a while, and it made his heart soar.  Before he could say anything else the girls were bickering again, and James started firing off questions.

“Quit with the eraser!  Geez, do you just not get it so you keep having to restart?  How stupid can you be?”

“Mama, did you sign that form for the field trip yet?”

“I’m not the stupid one, you are!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“And I have that bake sale coming up, did you sign up for cupcakes?  Or muffins?  Your cookies last year were good.  Oh and my soccer uniform is all grassy, did you wash it yet?”

Y/N shut her eyes tight, trying to breath through the mounting noise.

“Guys,” Bucky said in a warning tone.

“Dad she’s being so annoying.  Why can’t you just leave me alone?  This is why you don’t have any friends.”

“I have plenty of friends.  You wouldn’t know anything about that because all the friends you have are just guys trying to date you.  How does it feel knowing that they don’t actually care about you, just what they can get from you?”

“At least I can get a date.”

“Mama, what does she mean what they can get from her?”

“OH MY GOD SHUT UP!” Y/N screamed, standing up fast and pushing away from them all, covering her ears.  “SHUT UP!  ALL OF YOU!  JESUS CHRIST!”  They all froze, staring at her in shock.  “No, James, I haven’t done any of that yet.  It will get done eventually.  As for you two,” she pointed at the girls.  “I know you’re both in a very weird stage of teen years right now, but if I hear one more mean thing said between the two of you I will ground you both for the rest of the school year, do you hear me?”  They both nodded quickly.  “I cannot stand this anymore.  This constant bickering, the noise, the incessant leaning on me for every little thing.  I’m so sick of the same thing day in and day out!  I’m done!”

Bucky stared at her in shock.  She had yelled at the kids before during rough moments, but this was different.  Y/N looked at them all with a deep look of disgust.  “I love you all very much.  But this is absolutely ridiculous, and I will not put up with it anymore.  I deserve better than this endless, repetitive, tedious bullshit!  Don’t I?”  Bucky stood up and walked over to her.  She had started crying as she spoke, and as he cupped her face in his hands she looked up at him, her eyes pleading and exhausted.  “Don’t I?” she cried.

“Yes, you do,” Bucky whispered, nodding as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against her forehead.  “Just breathe, pretty mama.  Breathe.”

Y/N sputtered, her hands in fists at her sides as she closed her eyes.  She let herself relax against him for a moment, but just as suddenly as it started she shook her head again and pulled out of his grasp, sniffing hard.  “I…I’m fine, I just–” she glanced at them all, her face twisting into a look of horror.  “I’m sorry,” she gasped, then turned and ran up the stairs.

Bucky watched her run, sighing when he heard their bedroom door shut loudly.  He turned to look at the kids, each of them with a look of shock and sadness on their faces.  “It’s gonna be okay, guys,” he said quietly, sitting down on the floor with them again.  “Mama just needs some time.  But she’s right,” he said, looking down at his hands then at Becca.  “Becca, if what Winnie’s saying is true, you need to find better friends.  Boys, especially at this age, aren’t worth it.”  She frowned and looked down.  “Winnie, you need to let Becca have her time away from you.  Just because you’re both close in age and go to the same school doesn’t mean you’re both the same.  She is her own person, and you are your own person.  Does that make sense?”  Winnie’s lips tightened, but she nodded.  “James, I know you mean well, but asking a lot of questions all at once is very overwhelming for Mama, and as much as she is willing to help you, she needs a breather just like everyone else.  Got it?”  James nodded sadly.  “As for all three of you, you’re old enough now, and your mom and I have taught you enough by now, to be able to handle yourselves more.  That means from now on you’re responsible for knowing your schedules, taking care of yourselves with your personal hygiene, cleaning up after yourselves, and as of now you’ll be responsible for getting your lunches for school ready, preparing your own breakfasts, and making sure you’re out the door on time for the bus.  Also, laundry,” he said, glancing at James for emphasis.  “Your clothes, your problem.  Do you all understand?”

They all nodded solemnly.  “Good.  We are going to have to work together to take the brunt of the work off of Mama.  She’s done too much for all of us for too long.  Which makes her an amazing mother and wife–” he stopped, nearly getting choked up on his words, before quickly clearing his throat.  “But it’s too much for just one person to handle.  We are a family, and family loves and supports each other, right?”  They all nodded again.  “Okay.  Are you all done with your homework enough for tomorrow?”  

“Yes,” they all said in unison.

“Great.  Then go get ready for bed,” Bucky said.  “Good night, my spawn.”

They all giggled and gave him goodnight farewells and hugs, gathering their things and putting them away before trudging up the stairs to get ready for bed.  Bucky sighed as he stood up again, stretching before looking around the main floor of the house.  It was mostly pretty clean, so he got to work cleaning up the last few little messes and things he could see that needed to be done, then ate the leftovers from dinner.  

When he was finished the kids had all settled down in bed, and he tucked them each in before heading to his bedroom.  Bucky hesitated at the door, unsure of how to broach what had happened.  He knocked lightly, waiting to hear anything, but after a moment of silence he slowly opened the door.  He peered in and found Y/N already in bed, her soft snores the only sound in the room.  Bucky walked in and closed the door quietly, walking over to her side of the bed and kneeling down.  She was already in her pajamas, and judging from her makeup free face and the puffiness of her eyes, she had cried as she got ready for bed and up until she fell asleep.  Bucky’s heart broke for her.  He and the kids had been leaning on her for everything for so long.  They had taken advantage of her.  She had been suffering silently because she felt like she could only depend on herself to get things done.  He reached up and gently wiped away the last bits of tears that were still wet on her face, then leaned forward and kissed her nose.  “I’m so sorry, pretty mama,” he whispered, nuzzling her cheek with his nose.  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.  I love you.”  

Y/N squirmed a little in her sleep at his touch, but didn’t wake, letting out a short hum as she readjusted herself.  Bucky smiled at her, fixing the blanket around her and tucking her in before getting ready for bed.

@cjand10 @sebastians-love @sherwoodforesttales @shanksstrawhat

[quibbs126]

So because I saw someone like my initial post with Overdrive, for whatever reason he stayed in my brain and I was like “okay fine, I’ll attempt to design him again”

To be honest, I think generally he came out a lot better than last time, at least in the face. I’m not so sure on the rest, or more accurately, the arms

Drawing this I was like “oh dear god the TFO style is a pain”. Honestly I think my main issues are that these designs are some of the most 3D reliant with how boxy they are (like they’re some of the most toy-looking Transformers designs to me), and I’m not very experienced in that, and also I have this need to make the designs as simple as possible, even if the design ends up looking kind of plain, as seen here

Like I know generally how the TF One characters are built. They have a basic body of components and gears and stuff that’s all black, alongside a silver head piece (I don’t think there’s any outside of Shockwave or people with masks that have a non-silver face, but correct me if I’m wrong). Then on top of that they have pieces meant to cover that black skeleton, giving their body protection and making them individual. Like they’re thinner pieces of metal meant to go over their basic bodies. I don’t know how fully to describe it but I know how they work

I just don’t know how to draw that well. G1 is blocky but they’re made up of solid blocks, not pieces on top of a basic framework, and I struggle to figure out how it works

What was I saying? I think I got carried away there, sorry. Point is I’m bad at drawing Overdrive in this style and I kind of don’t like drawing it. It’s probably just an issue of me not being able to leave my comfort zone and being spoiled with TFA style yesterday

Unfortunately, Overdrive has to stay in this style because he’s specific to this universe

Anyways, moving on for real this time

So his design is now pretty heavily inspired by some Jetfire toys I found when looking for references to use (but mostly this first one)

It’s also the main basis for his color scheme this time around. Admittedly I do still think the red and white makes him look oddly similar to Ratchet, but oh well. Admittedly his design is allowed to at least have some blue paint, maybe I should give him some

But also one of the main bases of his head design here was another design I was making on the original, when I planned to expand the canvas and draw more. Unfortunately I got frustrated with posing blocks so I never did more, but I do have that one new addition now

His cockpit is yellow here because while I was testing out blue, I thought that with all the basis on Jetfire, he didn’t look enough like Starscream, so I gave him Starscream’s yellow. I ended up using the blue I was initially using on his eyes, which are the main reason they’re blue now

Not a lot of experimenting with the colors this time around, mostly since I didn’t want to lose the colors I was already using

Maybe I could have made his wing stripes black though? I’m realizing now that outside of his framework and vents, his design’s pretty much all reds and whites

I think his arms could probably do with more detail and refining as well. I just didn’t know how else to draw them

Now, as for other character things, I’ve settled on a few?

Like I think I’m gonna have him working on ground bridge technology. He does still work on going as fast as possible, but it’s more a personal thing. The things on his back are also experimental engines he made to go faster

He’s probably also banned from racing due to his technically illegal self-upgrades, which are at the very least illegal in the sport

But yeah, he’s on the bridge technology team, though admittedly he’s used more for his speed and general size. After the movie when their project can resume production again, he’s mostly used as the guy to scavenge parts and scout out good locations on the surface. Never mind the fact that he’s never really been on the surface before this, but he at least can make a quick getaway if need be

This is probably how he ends up encountering the Decepticons, or most importantly Starscream. They find him doing experiment stuff in the surface. My idea is that his team is trying to build a bridge portal up on the surface, given they know the technology works now. But also they’re kind of doing it in secret and possibly didn’t tell Optimus about it. But they’ve been causing stuff to happen with one of the Energon rivers up there for their portal (like redirecting it or making a dam or something, idk), which caused the Decepticons to take notice

Still not entirely sure on his personality, but I do know he takes great pride in his speed and no one being able to out-fly him. He also takes pride in his work as a scientist, both personal and professional. He may be a little too ambitious and intense on his plans for bridge technology, wanting to one day remote portal to distant galaxies, when they haven’t even tested if it can go to another receptor up on the surface yet. But he’s at least happy rambling about his projects

Honestly I think he currently reads as too Starscream, especially when Starscream has never been in his life, I feel like I need to add a bit more Skyfire in there. Just not sure how

But yeah, I think that’s about it on Overdrive for now. When will I continue? Who knows

[franticruby]

I’m not sure if you’re still in pokespe but i am horribly curious what magma!ruby’s lore is if you want to share anything!!! I absolutely love his design it’s soo good <3

hihi so sorry for the late response! and thank you SO MUCH i’m so happy you like my design!! i had to genuinely think about how to format this because this ask sent me on a month long ruby renaissance (he never left i just got real into some old interests for a couple weeks) and trying to think of a short winded way to explain my au because the original explanation i wrote was literal pages long 😭🙏 OFFICIAL MAGMA RUBY LORE! THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION MADE ME SO HAPPY

Magma Admin!Ruby, also known as Magma Ruby and Fourth Flame Ruby, is my take on the AU that I started working on a little over 3 years ago where Courtney began researching Ruby a lot earlier and thus scouting him for team magma. A lot of the au focuses on some hypotheticals i find interesting and some dynamics i really wanted to happen so really it’s just very self indulgent lol ^^

in this ruby never took the running shoes norman gave him and because of this he never ran off that cliff and never met sapphire/started the bet, instead being chased into a bush where he was helped by courtney. they get along pretty well, ruby likes that she doesn’t ask questions, and it’s just nice to have someone out there who believes in his contest career. she offers to let him crash at her place but he’s adamant that he can stay at hotels for now until that money starts to dwindle. courtney introduces him to tabitha, soft launches the idea of team magma, that seeds planted in his head, and then ruby’s flat broke. the contests aren’t covering all his expenses, he barely knows how to camp, and he’s conveniently got these two friends who’re willing to let him stay at their place. and what is that place? abandoned house.

what courtney failed to mention is that their pseudo-cult does NOT have stable housing but she assures him that it’s not that bad and brings him in to speak with maxie, who he actually gets along pretty well with. it’s clear that these guys are well established, loyal, and committed. he doesn’t really agree with what they’re doing but it’s better than being on the streets and potentially found by his dad. and so now he’s staying with team magma and all he’s required to do is help out a little bit with the stuff they’re doing, at first just some research, preparing food, even making some outfits which he’s excited to do, and in return he gets a room, meals, and… a FATHER FIGURE!?!?!

he gets emotionally attached to maxie. he’s a weak weak boy and very lacking in that department and now he just really cares about making him proud. now his responsibilities are piling up a bit and he can’t really travel a ton to participate in new contests, sort of at the whim of when they have to move bases, but they do so frequently enough that he’s still content. now he’s coming along on missions and doing some support work, still not battling, but then they’re on their way to steal the submarine when who do they come across? SAPPHIRE!! AND SHES KICKING THEIR ASSES!!!!!

most of the grunts are down so it’s really just tabitha and ruby, who’s helping out pretty minimally, mostly being lookout, but sapphire recognises him as a weak link and immediately attacks. ruby panics because this very strong, fanged, leaf wrapped girl is now tackling him to the ground and he doesn’t really want to fight her in front of all his coworkers so he ends up running away and leaving tabitha by himself. everyone’s pretty pissed at him for that because it cost them the submarine so courtney sits him down and opens up a little bit about her backstory and why she fights and how beautiful she finds burning things. this resonates with a ruby a bit and he starts to consider fighting again when necessary, at least to help team magma.

This au is stretched out along a longer timeline than canon, and when ruby meets blaise they are very annoyed with each other and begin a rivalry in which either one tries to become an admin before the other. over the months ruby climbs the ranks and becomes more ruthless and desperate to please maxie, not knowing that all the admins basically know everything about him and who his father is. after a successful mission, he’s finally promoted to admin, basically only so that he feels more indebted to stay with team magma and not because he really deserves it, BUT!! because of this he gets a little promotion gift.

tabitha is a bit of a blend between his rs and oras designs/traits and is a little more chill— but because of this he’s very technologically savvy and makes gauntlets and boots for ruby. all of the admins (also blaise but not yet) have their own little gimmicks, like his smoke putting people to sleep, blaise’s illusions, and courtney’s berries (also burning things to crisps but i see that more as her rejecting gimmicks) and ruby’s is vortexes of fire that are used to propel himself in the air. these are meant to parallel the running shoes ^^ courtney also gives him a solrock that’s his fire type

—

i’m gonna take the promotion as a chance to explain sapph just a bit because i love her so much. i have more but this’ll be too long if i use it but basically i used this au as a chance to explore some themes i really like and wish were used with her story ^^

sapph, of course, doesnt meet ruby at the start of the arc, but birch does task her with being on the lookout while she’s on her journey. She’s just a little more messed up by the salamence incident and has more of a complex about strength and this’ll affect her a lot later on.

she ends up meeting wally in petalburg because she was sent to speak with norman a bit and helps him catch a pokemon, not lending him her own pokemon but encouraging him to be more active in the battle himself and kind of legends arceus-ing (i’ve never played it dont quote me on that but like. he didn’t fight the pokemon with his bare hands but he distracted it yknow lol) but then the earthquake happens and wallys washed away!!! and so she goes on her journey mostly as normal, helping mr stone and being given the letter, and then she’s approached about a capture of the museum because of some coverage she’s gotten under gabby and ty (i love them i need them somewhere) and goes to help out.

they’re not too hard to deal with but there’s this kid her age who’s doing an insane job picking apart her team but wont fight back when she comes after him? and she kind of tucks that away in her mind for later, but successfully chases them away and is approached by winona, who wants her to train under her gym and sapphire’s very excited about this! this guidance is really what she needs because she’s not really getting that competitive push, and she’s knocking out badges until the threat of team magma and aqua begin to be a little too real.

Since the story is drawn out a bit more unfortunately i do not know how to use the bet’s significance yet but basically it’s just like in canon where she abandons it for a bit because of everything going on😭 during this weird period she’s mostly jsut camping out and training and plotting and all that.

wally was found by mr briney and goes through a lot of ruby’s plot points until he returns to the mainland where his parents are of course a little very worried about him and bring him to verdanturf to recover, but he’s still doing his own training when he can. sapph is mostly hanging out between mauville and fortree and she’s still very close with and helping wally out while coordinating w gym leaders, but while she’s doing that who shows up to her campsite in the middle of the night? MAGMA ADMIN RUBY!?!?!!??

this parts confusing but basically ruby isn’t the strongest admin but he’s borderline maxie’s right hand man and assistant, and by this point since ruby’s joined team aqua and magma have been looking for the orbs for about a year.

it’s now june and they’re at a stalemate, so ruby’s been sent to negotiate with matt and shelly. the two of them want to speed things up and while aqua has the technology to locate the orbs, it’d be a lot faster if tabitha and shelly were to work together again, and so they temporarily team up to find both orbs faster.

eventually the locator is finished and there’s a mad dash to get the orbs, which are claimed by team magma!!! they celebrate and this is a huge moment for them all, but now suddenly this overarching goal that ruby doesnt really believe in is becoming a little too real, and he never imagined itd go this far. This is when team magma throws a party, drinking and eating for hours into the night, and the admins are DRUNK. and it’s let slip just how much they know about ruby’s past, which makes him furious.

ruby leaves the room, betrayed, and goes to speak to maxie for any reassurance from this guy he trusts so much. they talk for a bit and ruby tries to breach the subject of groudon a bit, asking just how serious maxie is about this whole thing, maxie takes this as him faltering and questions just how loyal ruby is to team magma. he backtracks and assures him that he loves this place, because he does, and wants to help them, but ruby also kind of has to come to terms with how far he’s willing to go. The conversation escalates a bit as ruby tries to talk him down but maxie’s very out of it and comes off way more abrasive than he should, telling ruby that he regrets making him admin over blaise. this sends ruby over the edge and he leaves, going to his room.

At this point he’s manic, he feels this intense loyalty to team magma, but also this sense of justice telling him he can’t let them get away with controlling groudon. At the same time he’s also just fearful and angry and wants to leave, and so he packs his stuff, breaks into maxie’s office, steals both orbs, and leaves. he runs and runs until he reaches route 119 and finds sapphire, who’s camping there.

now sapphire is very hostile towards him and for good reason, he’s supposedly evil, but he manages to explain himself and while she’s still skeptical, he allows her to take his pokeballs temporarily and stay the night. for a while they’re both very wary of each other and she’s very hesitant to let her guard down around him but he’s completely willing to expose team magma plans to her, just as long as she doesn’t rat him out to the gym leaders.

they camp a bit more, make plans together, bond a bit, and ruby offhandedly mentions that he was interested in doing contests in the hoenn region but wasn’t able to pursue it because of everything that’s been happening. sapphire admits that she’s been going through a similar thing with the gym challenge, and tells him that while she’s can’t commit herself to that dream she’s planning to travel to verdanturf and reconnect with wally, which would give ruby the chance to compete. he’s very excited about this and goes with her, where he also meets wally for the first time.

she tells wally about what’s been going on in hoenn and he’s very eager to help, but sapph says that he probably shouldn’t leave town for his health. this leads to all three of them LIVING TOGETHER!!!! while there’s still natural disasters happening and the teams running rampant (sapph and wally don’t know ruby has the orbs, wally doesnt know ruby’s from team magma) they actually are able to have a fun coming of age summer!

but by ruby’s birthday team magma is closing in on the orbs location and ruby is very very anxious about this. the three of them are still hanging out but there’s more grunts in the area and the presence of the orbs are really weighing on him, until one night wally comes to call him for dinner and ruby panics and drops the orbs on the floor.

wally walks in, sees these, and is rightfully very confused and upset. ruby swears he has reason for them and begs wally to trust him, and he gives him the benefit of the doubt in thanks ruby gives him celebi as a parallel to ralts.

not even days later the entirety of team magma is swarming verdanturf and sapph has called the gym leaders to the area in order to subdue the teams. ruby’s about to run, but when suddenly he sees blaise running around in an admin uniform, he becomes extremely jealous and ends up confronting them all. this is a TERRIBLE decision and obviously they all corner him, ruby asks why he was replaced, if he was really only chosen because of his dad, he only really wants answers but then a grunt notices the orbs and his bag and it becomes very serious.

suddenly he’s being attacked on all sides and starting to feel very cornered. sapph and wally realise what’s happening and run out right at the moment ruby pulls out the orbs.

(gore warning!)

sapph is PISSED. ruby’s not only completely destroyed her plans but also has been lying to her for ages. the contact with the orb is waking up groudon and kyogre and tremors and floods are beginning to happen around verdanturf. gym leaders begin to show up slowly and now in being surrounded ruby ends up absorbing the red orb and being possessed by groudon.

unfortunately ruby is 11 and extremely stubborn! and while he does in part want to use groudon to drive everyone away, he also doesn’t want to help team magmas plans, and also doesnt want the orb destroying him from the inside. so in trying to will groudon both back underground and out of his arm, the force of it causes the orb to explode inside his body, causing his arm to shoot off. and norman sees ALL of it.

and so he runs onto the battlefield, seeing his son for the first time in a year, and rushes him to a hospital. the red orb has exploded and thus there’s now no way to control groudon, that’s now gone back underground, and maxie is very frantically searching through all the blood for any fragments he can find. He finally stands and leaves without saying a word to any of his teammates, leaving them without guidance.

Archie, however, has taken the chance to steal the blue orb and fully control kyogre, turning the situation into a battle to stop team aqua. Sapph’s still upset of course but now she, wally, and the gym leaders (minus norman) are working with team magma to try and defeat kyogre, but before long central hoenn is almost destroyed.

Ruby’s been taken to the hospital but the orb took too much of a toll on his body and he’s died before he could be really helped at all. Everything has gone to shit and now wally has this very heavy weight in his pocket in the form of everyone’s favorite,,, celebi. the deus ex machina is included yeah. BUT!!!! celebi reverses time but goes to visit ruby in the instant of his death. they’re in the time warp and they have a wordless exchange where celebi offers to reverse ruby’s injuries and restore the orb, but ruby decides to decline this and keep the orb shattered in exchange for his arm. and yeah! he wakes up at home where his mom is by his bedside. sapphire is still very rightfully upset and while she is VERY worried for him, is physically too mad to visit.

there’s intentionally many plot points not wrapped up because i have an epilogue that’s almost the size of the main story and also this would be too long with every point i wanted to explain (this is insanely abridged) but that’s the main bit! the epilogue focuses much less on ruby and it’s mostly about/covers the equivalent of mirage island/juan, sapph’s gym challenge/very unhealthy mental state, each admin but especially blaise, amber, wally’s training, the salamence incident (we don’t have time to unpack all THAT during the fight!), wallace, etc. but ruby does get a lot in regards to learning to live as an amputee, trying to function in society as a criminal, getting along with his parents, etc!

umm but yeah! lmk if y’all have any questions i love to yap. sorry again this took so long, i’ve written this in my head/physically at least 7 times lol. i’m still trying to figure out how to work in emerald/oras so if y’all have any ideas lmk…

i also tried to draw out parts of this but i did not get far so y’all can have a couple lol

[darkcacaocookieandfriends]

So, I wrote all of this on discord buuuutt... since I haven't said anything about my Licorice muse I should post it here. This is also in regards to a redemption AU, so take that as bonus content So...uh, Licorice headcanons or maybe just how I generally see him plus redemption AU stuff. Apologies if they seem rambley and aimless. This is just a copy paste from my original posts. I was writing these as I was cooking so they may be scatter-brained.

Licorice has this weird middle ground and to me, his character is based a lot on the traits of being unsure of himself, projecting his pain as anger and being generally dealt a pretty shit hand in life and wanting to be accepted or even just recognized. Gonna explain my headcanons first so this makes sense.

At one time he wanted to be a wizard but 'never received the recognition he so rightfully deserved' whatever that means. It's real vague so I'm going to say he was either a really shitty wizard and got laughed at or he was never taken seriously and gave up trying to be better…maybe a combo of all of those things, so he turned to black magic.

Black magic in general is a very misunderstood thing and often demonized by cultures who only know it as 'voodoo and hexes/curses'. I feel like he probably shares a kindredship with it, feeling like a misunderstood person himself. I feel he probably takes comfort in it in that regard. It's something misunderstood and stigmatized by many, labeled as being inherently evil.

When he met Dark Enchantress it's said he was astonished by her power. When you think about it, DE was everything he longed to be - powerful enough to command armies, a confident force with the recognition of so many. Someone who could move mountains. Someone that could get him what he wanted - recognition and respect. Someone who fed his most basic desire - to be revered and confident.

In doing that, his desire for power slowly morphed into gaining praise from this enchantress he so admired, but never being able to please her. Thus, he'd work harder to gain the same results which fostered frustration and his many complaints masking how insecure and sad he actually is.

His lyrics in Bad and Dark as ZZ Skull back that up. Wrote a diary with my own tears, misery and disgrace (Sick of it, sick of it) Sir, are you okay?

In many aspects, Licorice and Choco Werehound Brute are two peas in a pod, bolstering themselves up to appear more foreboding than what they are. In many ways Licorice is stuck in a weird loop of being ambitious but never reaching his goal through the constant disapproval of Dark Enchantress, who probably knows if she gives him what he wants that he'll no longer see a use as being her servant and uses it to her advantage to keep him under her belt.

Why give him what he wants when she can foster his frustrations to make him work harder? To everyone else, it's obvious she doesn't value him too highly to send him to do menial tasks and not really trust him with anything too taxing. No doubt he sees that and it's why he harbors such negative feelings for people like Pomegranate and Dark Choco.

Looking at it objectively he's such a miserable person, really.

Which is why ultimately to have something close to a redemption would mean he'd have to lose everything yet again, which means prying him away from Dark Enchantress and taking the rose-tinted glasses off of his face to make him realize he was never anything to her and his only outcomes would be to be used as canon fodder or be crumbled without ever getting the one thing he so desperately wanted.

What goes in his favor is the fact that a redemption is possible to do, as Licorice is a pretty nice guy to people he sees as friends. But hoo boy he's going to be in such denial about it and probably have a breakdown. I mean, this is a guy who's dedicated everything just to be acknowledged. Having that all stripped away when it's essentially his only goal would result in a lot of things on his end - feeling like a fool, feeling betrayed, feeling destitute, like he has nothing. Who is he now? What goals does he even have to pursue? All he ever wanted was respect, and now he can't have that without his purpose, he's hollow. Sure, he's not being used anymore, but I don't think he'd see it as a positive thing. I feel he'd see it through the lens of another grand failure, another attempt at something that never happened. He sacrificed everything and got nothing. He reaps the consequences of becoming a bad guy, working for DE. Everything he's ever tried up to this point only resulted in his own despair and realization of worthlessness.

He seems like the kind of guy who'd wander around aimlessly instead of take the redemption path right away. Instead of trying to heal and realizing he's not a washed up has-been and has the capability of doing something productive.

But I think in a lot of ways, someone befriending him and trying to make him see how fucked up his situation is would be an interesting take on getting him a redemption, since he does care about cookies he befriends…but boyo the denial stage would be something fierce. Since it's all he has, I feel like he'd fight for that delusion.

I think he sorta goes through the stages of grief during the aftermath of this hypothetical situation..

he feels sad and betrayed and wonders what it was all for

2. he has no real direction for a while because he based his life around serving DE

3. he feels like he can't just sit around and do nothing and more than likely turns to the friends he has for suggestions and essentially asks 'what can I do to feel like I'm worth something again?'

4. finds he has avenues to do what he wants, he could be a wizard or continue the dark arts and use them to help his friends, maybe learn that he doesn't need to prove anything to anyone and that he has people who do genuinely find value in him, enough to get him away from DE. That those were the people who saw value in him - not for what he could do but for who he was.

I think that's an important thing for him to learn.

------ All of this was me ranting to a friend so...here take my Licorice headcanons. Enjoy them? I think.

[syrupspinner]

i just completed bomb rush cyberfunk

the sound that plays when you clear a textbox is the spongebob footstep sound and youll never unhear that now

i love the fuck out of this game. the vibes are literally, not figuratively, everything i couldve ever wanted from a jet set radio successor. a lot of people get caught up in naganuma's music, but jsr had way more variety. the original had rob fucking zombie and future had that yoko ono song about cake or whatever. i feel like they did a excellent job keeping a cohesive vibe while still including a wider variety of songs. characterizing the gangs through their mixtapes is such a fun idea and it was done so well

the gameplay is perfect too, like every little bit is fine-tuned to be exactly what it should be. walking feels like walking and skateboarding feels like skateboarding, the way you turn feels noticeably different but in a lateral way that the game is built to accommodate

level design is phenomenal. built from the ground-up for your combo game without feeling like its forcing you onto a single route. manuals were the perfect addition so you dont feel trapped in what the game provides, and lets you get creative with a levels ingredients.

I dig the dream levels and how they twist the formula. levels are normally pretty open arenas, but these are just linear platforming challenges. it's really cool to see what these physics and moves let you do in a different environment. they're super fun for the plot too, I love the bit where red is like "I can't keep the ladder steady, I'm up here with you". no spoilers but I think it ties in super well to the backstory of the character and shines a light on their thought process - you can't get support from someone if they're on the same level as you because they're too worried about keeping themselves steady.

i love how they did achievements for this game. the only story-related achievement is for beating the final boss, and its totally possible for that to be the first one you unlock. it feels good when youve actually gotta work for the achievements, and it adds so much to the endgame. i had so much fun experimenting with the best place to do the longest manual, going back through all the stages for the pictures of the penguin guy, and just playing around for... the, uh... oh christ those are some high scores. welp, problem for the post game.

not to mention all the collectables you can get! this is the perfect amount of side content, i always get excited when i see a pickup in the distance but i never felt bogged down by the need to collect everything. and slowing down to examine the level and look around for everything is a great way to shake up how you usually play the game without feeling like youre doing something that isnt accounted for design-wise.

also, fucking thank you for the maps, and smart move that you can only get em after the main story beat in that spot. it's a shame they don't show the collectables too, cuz finding the last 2-3 is a total pain without a guide, but I'm just glad there's some mercy in finding the graffiti spots. that one in mataan is a bastard, you know the one

the game's pretty easy, i dont think there was ever a point where i lost and had to retry something, with oooooone exception. the cops are all pretty annoying, especially the turret, but not in a way that makes the game unplayable if you have heat. there are certain platforming sections that gave me trouble, like that one on top of the signpost in varsum hill, and... probably another one im forgetting. its hard to hold on to stuff i struggle with, because its just so fun to do fucking anything in this game. moving back into position and trying a jump again is just part of it, yknow?

but that exception, damn. theres one boss fight that fucked me up. it was the first time i actually died in this game. and the second, third, fifth. heres a hint: youve gotta deflect the projectiles. dont worry, you didnt miss anything, you cant reflect any other projectiles (i dont think there even are any) so there isnt some tutorial you missed. it may seem like youre supposed to get close to the machine and spray it like every other fight in the game and youre just struggling with the hitbox or something, but no youre doing the wrong thing. it may also also seem like the reflected projectiles are designed to miss because they keep just barely avoiding his head, but there youre just doing the right thing the wrong way and need to aim better. not with your camera, but by changing the angle of your player character. it may also also also seem like youre meant to use the deflected projectiles as a chance to stun him and close the gap between the two of you, because since he jumps across the map whenever you get near him, there is going to be a gap. this is also one of team reptile's clever tricks, as the stun is so short you need to dodge the projectiles to get in close (but not too close!) and only then start to reflect them. wow, this is inexplicably misleading for a game thats been really tightly designed until now. you think since i get texts all the time like "dont forget to earn points by doing tricks!" someone could communicate the brand new mechanic to me at some point

another thing with this game and communicating mechanics, nobody explains the secret things that all the different ride styles can do, so thisll be your spinny tip of the day: skateboards can balance on fire hydrants and do a trick to unscrew them and ride them up; bikes can stand in front of those garage doors with bike symbols to open them; and if you manual with the skates you can break glass. yeah i only figured out the bike one on my own. i get this is going for that good ol days vibe where there was just cool hidden shit the game doesnt tell you about, and too its credit you only need to know these if you want 100%, but i found them pretty unintuitive. like, i had my board out and fucked around with a hydrant at one point, and i didnt stumble on the secret, just because theres nothing that flags to me to consider jumping on it. this is obtuse, but not as mood-ruining as the boss fight.

also, this isnt really a complaint, i think im just confused. there are tons of spots that are designed like hidden loading screens? theyre usually transitions between parts of the map, like between the entrance and the wide-open parts of the mall. im not sure why though, because it seems like the game doesnt need them? like theres one in pyramid island separating the lower and upper parts, but... you can fall from the higher part to the lower part without a stutter. theyre both clearly loaded all times youre in the area, and the game isnt shy about loading the levels when you move from one spot to the other. is it just to stop combos from going too long? that seems strange in a game thats like, about combos. again its not a big deal at all i just dont really get it?

oh, i should talk about the plot. no spoilers, but im super into stories about the psychology of the characters, shit like repressed memories and identity. if you didn't know, I'm actually working to become a counselling psychologist, so it's really cool to see how games tackle really mental-based narratives. it's like being a plumber and appreciating the manhole design. the central theme is roots, as in where you come from and how it effects you, and they did a pretty cool job exploring how that would be handled in a sci-fi setting.

the story does a great job of having a protagonist thats important but doesnt feel shoved into the world. a lot of stories have to establish a status quo and then introduce how the protagonist is fucking with it. here, the status quo is already shaken up cuz the streets used to be between the big three, but now theres only one left. the protagonist is born from this distruption and has to work backwards to try and get out of it, all while still embracing the world around him. it really helps players get acclimated without making it feel like a hand-holding isekai

and of course you know im gonna dig the anti-cop through line. i like how there are focal characters within the force to show that while its corrupt on a systemic level, there are still individuals inside that system that arent immoral. and once they conflict with the corruption, their choices are to abandon their morals and assimilate (which is why one of those characters disappear from the narrative, they were faced with the realization but discarded it to become assimilated into the general mass of the police) or to abandon their position and fight against the corruption (the other character doing so to help our heroes survive the oppressive force).

oh, and i also dig how they specifically draw attention to how police think. the chief states that he sees all crime as bad because of the slippery slope fallacy, saying that citizens witnessing that the laws dont matter would encourage more reprehensible criminal activity like homicide or piracy. i can see how someone raised in a system that values order and obedience could develop such a black-and-white thought process, and we see how its propagated through the whole police. i also love how, even without saying it out loud, theres a point to be made about how the police are so overfunded that theyre running out of shit to justify it. yeah sic the swat team on those teenagers, who gives a fuck if youre just treated like an inevitability of society and have more money than god. theyre also so everpresent that theres little pods where i think the fuckers just wait until their inescapable silencer system picks up the slightest hint of disobedience. saying the quiet part quietly, but still saying it.

uhh what else. i also appreciate that we see what a cyberhead looks like before we learn why red is exceptional. thats just good plothole-covering, cuz if that didnt happen, i totally wouldve been like "wait are they all like that?". im trying to be vague but its the thing in the mall chapter

alright lets talk about what youre here for: what it was like to 100% this thing. my process was this: normal casual playthrough of the story, getting pickups i saw along the way and making a point to seek out all the optional characters. the second thing is to go back and tag all the graffiti spots, which you should get out of the way so you dont have to worry about the police later and so you have the rep to unlock all the oldhead-gates. after that, go back through the boroughs a third time and pick up all the pickups i missed. you should use a guide for this, those fuckers are really well hidden. by all means look around first, like i said earlier its fun to take it slow, but it devolves into "where the fuck is the last thing" pretty quickly. if its not fun, why bother, yknow? turn it from a scavenger hunt to geocaching. the fourth step is doing the other gangs' score attack challenges to unlock them as playable. I thought it'd be super hard, but theyre tough but doable if you keep a single combo through the whole thing and do the boost trick. the only thing is if you drop your combo, you gotta march your ass back to the challenger to restart, or get your phone out and wait the timer out, there's no quick restart. it's not THAT big of a deal, but I shouldn't be taking my phone out in the middle of your video game, just saying

then there's the high-score steam achievements. this is bar none the hardest part of the game. unlocking futurism in mataan just takes 5mil points, which you can do in a few minutes. the achievement asks for 16mil, more than triple that. you have unlimited time, that's still a pretty bad leap. the best way to get your score up is to up your multiplier with unique billboards and rail corners, but that only works once per combo. even if you exhaust most of a stage, you're still gonna be pretty short, with the multiplier only getting you to a couple mil. so, what do you do when you have no time limit? find a rail that loops, rubber band your joystick to the side, and go to bed.

...that's what I thought at least. I tried this in mataan and I bottomed out at about 6mil after going grocery shopping. and I gotta walk a kilometer and a half to the store and back, so it was like... a little over an hour. that doesnt sound that impressive but still i didnt wanna just wait. I feel too self-conscious about running up a power bill I split with my roommate to do it overnight, so let's try plan b and just... do it. and yeah, its still the hardest part of the game, but... its still very doable. i dropped my combo like two or three times, but i ended up with 20 million before i even realized it when i went for varsum hill, which is wayyy overshooting. the only problem area was pyramid island, and thats just because i had to march my ass back to the top when i dropped my combo. i totally overblew how much of a pain these would be

i think thats it! with a single 15-minute-or-however-long-that-fight-took exception, and disregarding the post-game optional character missions having no quick restarts, this game is fantastic from beginning to end. i know it sounds like that fight was a huge detraction, and yeah ive got problems with it, but a single blemish cant ruin a whole game. i can see myself loading this up and just fucking around with it even after ive perfected it, which is a HIGH complement from me. its got that same sauce as all the games i played as a kid, where it feels like if you only got one game per year, you could play the fuck out of until that whole time without getting bored. you know the kind of games im talking about, those jrpgs and zelda-like adventure games where it just feels like the game doesnt want you to leave. like yeah there are games where its fun to replay the campaign over and over, and this feels like one of those too dont get me wrong, but it just feels like its giving you so much to play around with, to explore and unlock and even just to fuck around and exist in the world. sure, as an adult it feels kinda nice when a game is short, cuz you know you wont have to be married to it for a year while you balance real-life shit in between the video games, but thats why it being optional is so thoughtful. also 30 hours is a totally healthy length for a game to be completed in

i guess what im saying is that bomb rush cyberfunk knows exactly what its doing. this feels like how a game from the era its paying homage to should feel, how it would be designed with the sensibilities of the time, but without subtracting from what i appreciate about modern titles. if you told me this was a remaster of an OG xbox game that added shit like autosaving, id totally buy it if i didnt know better.

im worried im underselling how much i love this game, so i guess ill just say that i love jet set radio. jsr classic has some of the best vibes in the medium, and future is straight up my favorite retro game of all time. and brc eclipses both of them combined. i would like to apologize to anyone who has any interest in working towards xbox emulation. i fear that interest in the field will somehow decrease even further now that the only xbox game worth emulating that hasnt just been ported to pc has been totally outclassed. good luck trying to top this, sega

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: The Roast (5x08)

Oh my god, this was an AMAZING episode.

Cons:

I feel bad for continuing to harp on this, but The Guide continues to feel like such a wasted character! I like the performance, I don't think it has to be this way, there could be some really funny stuff here! But instead it's the same joke again and again. It's like she's the Jerry from Parks and Rec or the Toby from The Office. But this show didn't really need that, they're all a bunch of losers, and there's already the vampires treating Guillermo like he's disposable to fall back on as a joke? I don't know. She had plot relevance this week, but it feels like we could have done this without her.

Pros:

Lazlo's ennui was really funny, the way he keeps dismissing everyone's attempt to snap him out of it... one of the funniest exchanges was right at the top, when Nadja and Nandor were talking about Lazlo lacking interest in his old hobbies: Nadja - "We are down to like sixteen fucks a week." / Nandor - "We're down to three". And Nadja reaches out and puts a hand on Nandor's arm, in horror and sympathy to hear something so terrible! That really made me laugh.

Honestly, this episode was laughs all the way through, I can't even pick favorite lines from everyone. But I loved Colin's failed roast of Lazlo, I loved Nadja saying that maybe dying wouldn't be so bad, and Nandor being like "wtf" and then Nadja being like "I've just been going through a lot lately."

The main plot here is that the Baron discovers that Guillermo was the one who accidentally burned him up a few years ago, and he wants revenge. As ridiculous as all the antics were, I was also genuinely moved by Nadja and Nandor both begging for Guillermo's life and trying to dissuade the Baron. But at the same time, they're all worried about Guillermo killing the Baron, because he's the origin of their line of vampires, and his vampire descendants might die as well! What a fun and twisted web of allegiances. Guillermo doesn't try and kill the Baron, in part because it puts his friends at risk. And yet his friends can't let the Baron kill Guillermo either!

Things are... sort of resolved... when Guillermo tells the Baron that he has renounced his vampire killing family legacy by becoming a vampire himself. The Baron finds the whole situation with Nandor not being the one to change him kind of hilarious and he's also sympathetic to Guillermo because of it, so he calls off his vengeance. And then... Guillermo accidentally burns him in the sunlight again.

Genuinely, the sight of Nandor clutching Guillermo's sweater, and then his grief when he sees "Guillermo" dead on the ground in front of him... I'm sure the whole fandom is celebrating hardcore. It was so much. Pair that with the utterly callous way that Lazlo guts the corpse, to show everyone that it's not really "Gizmo", but one of his clone experiments gone awry... this show is utterly ridiculous in the very best way.

The sweet Guillermo and Nandor moments don't stop there. When Nandor finds Guillermo hiding in his coffin, after thinking he has fled never to be seen again, he asks him questions to make sure it's the real him. One of them is, what's in the card you gave to me the first day you were my familiar? And Guillermo quotes it exactly, with Nandor mouthing along. "To be a vampire is my dream, but to be your familiar would be my honor." What the heck kind of high romance? Amazing. I can't believe next week we're going to see Nandor find out about Guillermo at last. Everyone's been building up again and again how Nandor will be forced to kill Guillermo and then himself. I wonder what's going to happen!

Turns out, Lazlo's strange mood was just because he was trying to figure out how to alphabetize his books. I love this gag as like... a fun example of what longevity and immortality might really be like. You can afford to just space out for a couple weeks to make a decision if you like! There's so much time stretched before you.

It was so funny to see Doug Jones as the Baron, sans any weird crazy make-up or prosthetics, only for the episode to involve him getting all burned up and disfigured again. I guess he's back to untold hours in the makeup chair any time he's on this show! I love it. I also loved how the Baron accepted Guillermo as a vampire right away, in a way the others who are in the know haven't quite done. He's all-in for his fellow vamps, and now he's got a bunch of Guillermo animal clones to hang out with at his place!

I'm not ready for this season to be over, it all happened too quickly! This may be the best episode of the season.

9.5/10

[gracelbranch-blog]

Dear Diary 🤪🤡🤭🦧🙈: Thoughts on Grief

Six years ago today, my dad suddenly (and quite frankly, very dramatically) passed away, leaving my mom, my brothers, and me with life-long trauma and depression. And a collection of random shit including wood-working magazines, typewriters, and miscellaneous eBay finds. I have obviously worked through this and moved through the stages of grief, but of course when February 9th rolls around each year I remember that it's not only my poor cousin's birthday, but also another anniversary of the worst thing I have experienced. And every year I want to share my thoughts and my feelings and I feel like a burden for it, partially because even though I had an amazing support system when I was going through this, I felt awkward talking about it with anyone. I don't always know how to handle the sadness and confusing feelings of others and I feel like everyone else is the same and I never wanted to put them in that position. I don't think I ever told anyone, not even a therapist, what I saw and experienced first hand; maybe pieces of it initially when questions were asked, but like I wasn't going to bring up the 911 call I still like hear in my head at lunch in high school. Like I don't need to do that. It also feels exploitative in a way, like I don't NEED to hash out all those details. Sometimes I wonder if my grieving process would have been different if I did but really I think I did enough to those around me.

Also it's so hard to discuss stuff like this directly with people, in conversation, when nobody else has had this type of experience. Even if I know someone else who has lost their dad, like every other part of it could be different. My dad died of a heart attack presumably which is the most un-original way to go, but like, even so the personal experience of everyone who lost someone is different. Hopefully that makes sense. I found some closure/healing this past summer when one of my friends lost their dad. I had only found out like two months before that he was SICK sick, and I was waiting until I saw this friend who goes to school in another state to like let her know I had been thinking about her family, etc. It felt like a weird thing to text out of the blue when most conversations were had in person or in a groupchat with others since she had moved away and we saw each other less frequently. But I got a text one day very early in the morning and missed it so she called me when I got out of work and told me her dad passed away the day before, and it was jarring to say the least. Despite my assumption that something wasn't great (she did say it was okay if I didn't want to talk because it was heavy, and quite frankly I never want anyone to feel that way because I know what that's like), I didn't think it was THAT bad. I remember my heart dropping to my stomach in the car and I didn't really know what to say other than asking if I could come over, because I just wanted to give her a hug.

I went over and sat with her and cried with her (I cried A LOT that day and the following days), I let her just say what she needed to say and she asked me if things ever felt normal again and I gave my honest opinion on how it all felt 5 years later. And as absolutely horrible as it felt being there, it was healing for me to finally talk to someone about it in a non-therapy setting, and like even today I think to myself that like I feel good about the fact that she called me and just HOPE that I helped. Granted I am probably the only person she knows well who had gone through that, but still like, I am glad she had someone to reach out to. And like if nothing else I am living and breathing evidence that you can continue to live your life after something so so shitty.

This feels like a long tangent, apologies, I get sidetracked easily and also because I don't ever talk at people I feel like there's so much ground to cover. The moral of the story is that in the past year I think I have let myself feel a lot more than I have since possibly six years ago, and while I was grieving with my friend for everything she lost, I also allowed myself to grieve more. Maybe because I knew we'd be going through it together. One of the first things I thought about before there had even been official confirmation but it was pretty certain things were not going to go well, was how much I wouldn't have my dad present for. This friend was actually the second person in my car at graduation, which was held in the parking lot of our school with a limit of two other in our vehicles with us because of covid. At that point we had gotten close and she wanted to come and I had two brothers (who realistically didn't care) and one friend...so obviously it was easier to just give her the spot. In the past six years I have graduated high school, graduated college, started working (even lame jobs count. He had helped me apply to other seasonal jobs and never got to see that pan out), I got my drivers license (we lost one of our chauffeurs LOL), and on top of that, he's missed his nieces and nephews getting married, starting to have kids, etc. There's a lot. I feel like it might be hard to think about the passage of time and how much happens for some people (maybe not, I am especially existential so I do it all the time), but it gets worse after a loss because of how much happens in a span of time afterwards that they're not there for. If that makes sense.

Maybe none of this makes sense! This is literally word vomit. I have had so many thoughts constantly racing through my head since this happened. I still have a whole future ahead of me and the nagging thought of not having a dad still sits with me whenever I think about it. If I move in the future I won't have him to help (he'd be old so whatever help he could offer), there is so much music and so many concerts he would have enjoyed, my youngest brother is graduating high school this year, and god how I wish I could have his knowledge during this presidency. That man hated Trump and could have put some logical shit on Facebook to make my brain-washed aunt think for two seconds. I have so many emotions and while I am doing well overall, this time of year sucks and I can't help but think of what I went through and what those close to us went through at this time. I felt sick that whole week and could not go to bed without seeing an image that still haunts me and I would wake up sobbing. I still even think about the police officer who came in and seemed to make a comment about our house. My aunt heard him say something along the lines of "This is a house?" and it seemed to have a negative tone, as if the fact that it's constantly getting fixed up because it's over a hundred years old made it...not a house? I don't know. I overheard that and was angry on top of the fact that they were asking us questions and telling us there would be an autopsy and preparing to remove my dad from our house.

I went to work today, I was tired but fine and I interacted with others. I wore a sweater I had never seen my dad wear but it had been gifted to him, it's sooooo 80s it's ridiculous. And I finished this up, so I could get some thoughts out and cope. I am accustomed to what became my new normal, and I am so grateful for the people in my life who helped me then and help me now; I feel fulfilled and happy and that's one of the best things ever. I miss my father so much, but he's apart of me still (I have horrible napping habits like him) and I am so grateful for that. If you read this far, sorry, but also NOT sorry! It was optional. But I am happy to have a place to project.

Adios bitches! Tomorrow is a new day 🎉

[gawactose]

Okay, I wrote this a bit ago and its basically a blurb of an AU of my one character, Bjarne (or Sleipnir), and how his normal lore would translate to the universe of Altered Carbon. Fully self-serving as I absolutely adore the show (need to read the books... soon) and I enjoy how the parallel of sleeve wearing fits the original version's stuff. I think, for fun I might write another. Would be great to practice writing characters interacting since it is such a weak point for me :,) Also warning, some violence and quick murder

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Freezing sleet rapped against the thick glass, barely audible about the electronic hum that constantly droned throughout the entire city. Quiet was for the deaf and the dead, the living had to suffer with the noise their evolution had brought to this alien world. The closest thing to peaceful background noise jarringly broke as the worn lock of this rusted place ground open, followed by the heavy sliding of the door. The peace was further sullied as dim lights turned on, and the muffled screaming of a gagged man now filled the space. With a soaked back and tied-up feet, the man fruitlessly gasped and grabbed the broad shoulder he was so unceremoniously slung over. The leather, cold from the outdoors, gave the well-chewed nails of the man nothing to grab onto. Frigid, unbearing. Even his kicks were still weak and uncoordinated, a fruitless endeavour that only received silence from the man’s captor.

Taking a final drag of the cigarette, the captor roughly crumpled it in his hand, singing flesh with the dying ember before flicking it to the already littered ground of the hotel room. He gripped the man’s tied feet and with a heave he sent the body falling right into the chair prepped by the window. Finally, the captor and captured were face to face for the first time. Unnaturally blue eyes bore into the natural brown, only encouraging the muffled screams to continue. The captor’s lip twitched downwards, into a frown as he finally exhaled, letting his smoke wash over the screaming victim. Wretched, disgusting, even gagged the poor victim choked and sputtered. At least, as he did so the sweaty and now drool-soaked rag was removed from his mouth. Sucking a breath in, he started to spew the filthy begging they all did. “Please, I-I just take my money man. I can even drain my account for you. I can even pretend I never saw your face and we can just part ways right here. What do you say, big guy?” The captor simply turned his back. Cold and uncaring, not a word fell from his lips in acceptance or denial. He didn’t care, the only thing he cared about was that precious sleeve the man had. Be it bought, born, or borrowed, the skin was soft, the eyes a wonderful natural shade and the man didn’t seem to be balding either. Bjarne could already taste the credits this one would make him. The time it would spare him. Calloused hands picked up a well-used switchblade from the kitchenette as the coffee machine whirred to life, dribbling into the stained carafe. The chorus of pleading became the new backdrop as he stepped closer, flicking the blade open, its golden metal flashing just as his large frame moved to straddle the still-conscious sleeve. The talking moved to panicked screams, pleading and begging, and even a prayer or two. All the beautiful words fell on deaf ears though, and all it got was a very soft and disappointing, “shhh” from Bjarne. Shushing the poor man like a fussy child. Even caressing his hair like one as his face was forced against leather. The victim gnashed his teeth and bit where he could, but cold calloused hands stayed true and strong, keeping him in place. Holding him still as the golden blade of Gabriel found the nape of his neck.

Tears ran, and sobbing began. “Don’t RD me, please, I swear, I can change. If that is what this is, please, please, I will learn please.” The sobs grew ugly, deranged. While the corners of the cold captor’s lips twitched yet again, falling farther into a scornful frown, just as blood pricked the knife eager to escape as the tip was pushed in on that telltale scar. With an uncomfortable precision, the blade slid in, roughly bumping against the vertebra as Bjarne found the sweet spot. The man’s pleas grew in crescendo, falling ill to the pain before finally nothing. The body hung limp against Bjarne’s chest. The silver-haired man let out a soft sigh, twisting his knife against the man’s spinal cord until the object of his desires popped free. Dropping the knife to the ground, blood splattering over his already stained boots, he drove his fingers into the wound. Flesh squelched uncomfortably, but the little metal piece was easy enough to find. He gave it a flick as he stood up, pushing the once a man, now just a sleeve, back into the chair. Holding the glowing blue object up to the light, simply inspected it with an appraising eye, even giving it a wipe against his shirt before tossing it into a bowl where a few others resided. Far away from that hotel, and a few bodies lighter, Bjarne flicked and tossed his knife, over and over again. Sheltered by the taller buildings, the rain only came down in certain areas and was easy to avoid. Yet it created puddles and portals to another world. Reflecting the hundreds of neon lights that dance, desperately trying to grab the attention of the small-minded individual. Like moths to a flame, a crowd surrounded the establishment that Bjarne had been looking for. Slipping his blade away, he tucked his palms into his pockets, shouldering his way through without a word. No apologies or even the acknowledgement of those he barreled through. They didn’t matter, they were nothing to him. He only had one goal and wanted it over with as quickly as possible. With a steeled gaze he looked up towards the neon pink sign, the strange symbols of a name rolling right past his mind. Still, after all these years, he hadn’t bothered to learn to read the local tongue.

A rough hand grabbed his jacket, yanking back on the young man. Causing his tunnel vision to break as he came face to face with a bouncer. “Buddy, back of the line.” Giving the strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes a puff of air, he stared the bouncer down, trying to recognize the face. Grabbing a hold of the still stained and bloodied shirt he wore, he tugged down the neckline, giving the man just the corner of a tattoo that swirled along his chest. Just with the sight of the tail, the bouncer was understanding, and let Bjarne go with a rough push. “Don’t fuckin’ start anythin’, I don’t care who you are, fucker.” Someone who didn’t care wouldn’t have crumpled so easily. For a brief moment, the young man let himself revel in the fantasy that he was respected for his own name, his reputation. He moves past the winding hallways of flashing and neon lights, tuning out the faux moans of organic and synthetic workers alike along with the cheers of the greasy folk who frequented this upstanding establishment. Though, just as fake as the paid-for whimpers of pleasure, he knew that fantasy was synthetic, made up just to buffer the blow against his ego. He was no man of his own making, just a boy forced to the coattails of the man he worked for. Passing by more security, this time unhindered, he shouldered the heavy metal door. As soon as the seal was broken, a wash of smoke blew over his face, swirling and burning his nostrils with its toxicity. Fucking terrible. With a final breath of relatively fresh air, he stepped in, as confident as his legs would allow. Bathed in low and pink light, the source of the haze that filled the luxurious room sat the uncomfortably familiar face, the golden mirror of his own, aged by years of life, and years of purgatory. Bjarne’s father blew out some more smoke, and a grin, unlike that of his father, broke across his face, followed by a voice made by Gabriel’s vocal cords, but spoken by that of Svathilfari. “Sleipnir, my boy, you finally join us.” The voice purred, cracked by the smoke-filled lungs. A ringed hand delicately brushed over the shoulder of his Blom, her form wore a new sleeve, yet the boy could see who she was just from the judgmental glare she held for the boy, a glare that only softened when she returned her attention to the most important figure of the room.

Bjarne didn’t offer the man a verbal response. He never did. Instead, he stepped past where they lounged, roughly opening the cabinet where he knew the terminal was, the one he always had to use. “Three hours late. Right on the dot. You know the deal, boy.” He grinned, turning over the cigarette in his hand before sucking down another puff, letting it snake out of his maw after a moment. Pure ecstasy seemed to flood through that stolen sleeve as soon as the chemicals hit. A glance was all the man got before the boy shrugged his shoulders, depositing the credits. All the way down until his account was empty, yet the balance wasn’t set to zero. He squinted towards the screen, turning back to Svadilfari with a soft grunt of confusion.

“Ah, boy. Inflation you see.” The man didn’t even give him the respect of hiding his devilish smirk. “Had to charge more, especially on your regular late fee.”

Quiet anger seethed in the young man, waiting for the inevitable rest of his words. He always offered this, he always wanted it.

The golden mirrored man pushed off from the elegant chair, clasping the pin-striped suit’s buttons neatly as he closed the distance. “Sell your sleeve, Sleipnir.”

There it was, and right as those once kind hands grasped the boy’s shoulders, trapping him in place and under that terrifying gaze. A delusional man would think he was brave, staring down the eyes that threatened to pluck him right from the very skin he wore. Truthfully, the son was always terrified of the father. As a child, as a teen, and even now, as an adult.

Hands balled into fists as he seethed. It took every single ounce of courage the weak boy had to muster it, but he did, just as every time before. Breaking the eye contact, he shook his head no.

“How many times have we been over this.” The false father growled, the grip on the boy’s shoulder with barely restrained rage. They had been over this time and time again, the incoming speech that often was delivered with a calm before the storm. False Father’s mouth opened for a mere moment before he drew a knife of air through his teeth, snapping the brittle tension with a deranged smile.

The shift caught the boy off guard, and where his eyes had found themselves digging holes in the wall behind his tormentor readying himself to withstand a beating, they snapped to his face in stark confusion. That mask must have broken, for the change in the boy’s demeanour brought nothing but illicit joy from Svadilfari.

“I have a far better offer for you, especially now that you consider yourself a man.”

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