#again i’d like to point out that i do not ship wincest i just acknowledge it

[dykejugheadjones]

hoes hate me for pointing out the incesty undertones in this goddamn show!! (spn)

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

It’s week three of my Global-Pandemic-Induced decision to rewatch all of Supernatural, and so I’m still attempting to make this watch more productive than the last show that I binged.

So I’m on disc two now - that’s episodes 5 - 8 for those of you watching on Netflix. By the time we get to this disc, we know the basic formula for Supernatural as a series - Two Hunks + Fighting Evil to the Power of Acceptable Levels of Gore x Missing Dad = Ratings Gold. Or at the very least, good enough ratings that we’ll give you a season (or fourteen). And then...well...then.

Episode five is “Bloody Mary”, easily the scariest episode of this first season and, based on the nose dive that the formula takes after season 1, probably the entire series. Maybe it’s that the Bloody Mary legend was one that really got me as a kid, maybe it’s just that I don’t do so hot with ghosts, but guys this episode still made me turn on all the lights and avoid all my mirrors. I accidentally turned this episode on at 9pm and regretted it immediately. I walked away at one point to go clean my kitchen to strategically miss some of the spookier points and I walked back in during an even spookier point. I was mad that there were no commercials at the commercial break cut-to-black! The first time I watched this episode, I’m pretty sure I watched it through my fingers. This most recent viewing, I ALSO watched it through my fingers. Guys, THIS EPISODE. 

I will say it a-hecking-gain: This episode scared the SHIT out of me.

AND THEN, THEN! Then this show has the gall to go ahead and drop a major season/character plot point right there in the middle of all this content that I am actively trying not to look at: SURPRISE! Sam has premonition powers and sorta kinda knew that his girlfriend was gonna die a terrible death weeks before she dies. Because sure, why not? 

Ohmiglob the DRAMA.

I’m gonna take a moment to say that, yes, technically this piece of plot gets dropped within our first six episodes, so we can still safely say that, you know, they’re still setting up the story for the rest of the series. It’s not like a sudden twist they drop half way through the season, it’s being laid down as ground work. And I know that this turns out to be a MAJOR issue for the next four seasons at least, but can I just say: Kripke, you’re really throwing a lot at us. I mean, OK. here’s what we’ve got - 

The Winchester’s lost their mom at a young age to some evil thing. Cool, got it.

THEN they have daddy issues with C-minus Single Dad John Winchester. Alright, that seems logical. 

The brothers hunt bad guys looking for the thing that killed their mom. Ok still on board. 

There’s family drama, relatable. 

Dad’s gone missing and we gotta find, ok ok ok. 

Also Sam’s girlfriend dies in a fire, alright, so we’re looking for that thing now too. 

OH! And now Sam has magic powers. 

I mean, it’s a lot, right? We got a lot of layers here. That’s all I’m sayin.

So “Bloody Mary”, right? Big episode, big bad guy, they kinda loophole their way into defeating her but I’m not mad. Big reveal at the end, so kind of an important lore episode. And then...well...then we get the following episodes:

“Skinwalker” - gross-out fx, establishes Dean as a lonely asshole with a lot of APB’s out on him

“The Hook Man” - takes the Urban Legend angle of the show and dials it up to 11

“Bugs” - Does what it says on the tin.

Now to be fair: all three of these episodes have at least ONE shining moment that reveals a little more about the characters we’re working with, and that character development plays out in important ways in the rest of the season/series. But all three of them are arguably---

FILLER EPISODES-ODES-ODES-ODESSssssssss. 

Alright, maybe that’s unkind. Maybe we should call them standalones or self-contained. A Filler is an episode designed to “fill out” your season. It doesn’t necessarily move the overarching story of the season forward, although it may contain some concepts or revelations that are important later. I’d argue that Supernatural has only ever had two kinds of episodes - Series Arc and Filler. Not that that’s a bad thing -  I like a filler episode now and again. Depending on how heavy your season gets (and by all accounts Supernatural gets pretty heavy), they can be a nice breath of fresh air - also known as a Breather Episode. Or they can be just for fun. I’mma reference “Once More with Feeling” again because sure, why not throw in a musical episode in season 6 of a show about vampire slaying, that’s fine. I wanna reference something from Community here too, but honestly anything after season 2 could probably be called filler or self contained, so who even knows. I’ll point at the Voltron episode where they spend a day in the mall to gather some unobtainium for the ship and wacky shenanigans ensue. Point being, they can be times to break the mold and experiment and have fun with what you’re writing. Or they can be ridiculous nonsense. Mileage may vary. 

The crazy thing about these episodes is that they most closely resemble what Kripke intended the show to be in the first place. Kripke wanted a show that revolved around characters investigating American urban legends. What is more quintessentially urban legend than Bloody Mary, the Hook Man and curses from ancient Native American burial grounds? These were stories that I as the viewer was already sort of familiar with because I’d heard of all of them before. What I appreciated, specifically about the Bloody Mary episode, was that they a) acknowledge the fact that these are Urban Legends (capital letters and all) and then b) acknowledge that the legends vary wildly so a part of their job is figuring out what is true and what is rumor. I guess you could also call that a cop out but when I was a kid, I was told that Bloody Mary was the ghost of Queen Mary of England who was sister to Elizabeth I and was also violently anti-protestant. WHERE did I get this story? I have no idea. But I also have no idea where Sam got the “mutilated bride” story from either. 

In an old article I found circa season 2, Kripke actually talks about preferring standalone content to mythology/lore episodes in television. Both as a creator and as a viewer, he wants a show where people can jump in at any time and “join the party” wherever they are. That’s the beauty of procedurals - you don’t need to start from the beginning to enjoy them.

But what really got me personally hooked on the show was the mythology, was the season long arc to find John Winchester and whatever killed their mom. Those mythos episodes were where the meat of the show was for me - it usually involved a lot of feelings and a lot of character development which is still mostly my jam. If I’m obsessively watching a show, it’s because I’m connected to the characters and watching them struggle through the challenges in their path, not because I want to see what monster they kill next. 

And again, I’ll reiterate that each of these episodes contains an important nugget of character. In “Bloody Mary”, easily the least likely to be called Filler, we find out that Sam has weird magic powers that are the real source of his guilt over Jessica’s death. 

In “Skin”, we find out a lot about Dean’s inner landscape from the DopppleDeaner, who reveals that Dean is probably most afraid of people leaving him (be still my 19-year-old heart). 

Wasn’t mad about this bit...

Coulda done without this bit tho...

In “Hookman”...alright, you kinda got me on “Hookman”, but we do get the first appearance of the rocksalt shotgun and Sam talks with a girl about her dad issues which is really Sam talking about his own dad issues in the language of tv shows. Also, he maybe starts to move on from Jessica???? It’s unclear, and also a little weird but I guess he’s only 22 and that’s not that far off from 18/19. 

Really, WB?? Sneaking into sorority houses?

And then in “Bugs”, yes, even in “Bugs”, we get juicy little bit of tension between the brothers as they advise some teen boy about family dynamics. The fight shows a lot about what each character feels about their own experiences growing up the way they did, how they manage the expectations from their own father, and how they believe those family dynamics should exist. I mean I guess you could also argue this is the episode that plants the seed for Wincest, but I don’t really want to go there, let’s not talk about it.

This kid’s like, “This is...not a conversation about me and MY dad, is it?”

So they could be worse. I mean the last two definitely aren’t great, and we’ll see how they measure up to the Monster Truck episode later in the season, but they’re not bad episodes. 

So let’s flash forward to Now again - have we seen the end of Filler Episodes?

As I have mentioned in previous posts and will probably continue mentioning in future posts, the 22 episode season is not the norm anymore. A lot of articles I’ve read point to Breaking Bad as the first American show to really break that mold. Breaking Bad released only 7 episodes in it’s first season in 2007. When you’ve cut your story down that much, there’s no room for filler - you’re basically producing a 7 hour movie. 

Now notice I said American TV show. I’m pretty sure for most of the rest of the world, 22 episodes is way outside the norm, but really I can only speak to UK TV. Seasons in the UK do not last as long as seasons in America. Doctor Who, one of, if not the, longest running show on BBC, aired its first season with 42 episodes, which is mind boggling. But since the series revived in 2005, it hasn’t had more than 13 episodes in a season. Spooks/MI5 never had more than 10 episodes. The IT Crowd only aired 6 episodes per season. Broadchurch had only 8. And because I must complete the Superwholock trifecta, Sherlock seasons were only 3 episodes a piece. These are the shows that spring to mind while I’m writing this, but you get the idea.

So why does American broadcast TV have such long seasons? Well, the answer is: moneymoneymoney.

We live in an age of “prestige” TV. Some throw around “Golden Era”, but there’s been like, a Golden Era of television every 10 years since tv’s became household commodities, so that phrase basically means nothing. TV today is more similar to long-form film making than it was a decade ago. We associate terms like “film” with other terms like “art”, and sometimes we forget that television is, and always was, a business. It’s a business that’s making a lot of money entertaining you for hours on end, but a business nonetheless. I’d argue that it doesn’t mean it’s not art, but I don’t think we can separate the art and entertainment value of tv from its actual monetary value. 

Strategically, the 22-episode season was to get a show to a magical number of total episodes - 100. Once you hit the 100th episode, somewhere around season 5 (thanks math), then you can sell the show in syndicated reruns. This is also referred to as second-run syndication or off-network syndication. When a show is syndicated, that means the production company that produces the show can now sell the right to air episodes to other channels. Think channels like TBS or TNT or even USA Network - they don’t really dabble in producing their own content, they just repackage content from other networks to plug in to empty slots in their programming. And because these channels can air episodes 5 days a week, 365 days a year, that means the production company can actually make more money by selling the show in syndication than when they sold the show to the primary network. The more episodes you have in a season, the faster you get to syndication, and sometimes that means a show that’s on the brink of cancellation due to poor numbers may still get greenlit for another season or two if they’re closer to that magic 100th episode. For a show like Supernatural, that has a very procedural, not-super-heavy-mythos, structure, you can do very well in syndication. Just cuz another network agreed to air your show doesn’t mean they agreed to air it in order, so procedurals work better in syndication than your season-arc shows do. And that’s why we have episodes like Bugs, that have nothing to do with the overarching plot of the season and also phone in some questionable CGI. 

Apparently they DID use real bugs to shoot this scene and everyone got bit to hell but the bugs didn’t show up good and they went with CG anyway?!?

But these days, you don’t have to hit 100 episodes. Sometimes only 80 episodes will do. Sometimes, you run a streaming site and you don’t have to worry about reruns at all because your revenue isn’t generated from air time or even ads, but from subscription prices. Honestly, when you think of it that way, it makes way more sense to greenlight shorter seasons so that you have the budget to buy more and more diverse shows that will appeal to a broader audience of viewers. 

So if Supernatural was produced today, would we get these off-shoot, self-contained episodes that have little to do with the plot of finding Sam and Dean’s dad? It’s hard to say. Knowing what I do about Kripke’s original plans for the show and his thoughts on procedural standalone episodes in general, its possible that he’d still try for a traditional season aired on a traditional TV network. But in that same interview I quoted above, he also mentions that the only way to get into a show with a heavy mythos is to buy the DVDs. We don’t need DVDs anymore - we have Netflix. And Hulu and Prime and any number of other streaming services that pick up any show they can get just to have a larger library of content and attract new viewers. I think a good indicator of what Supernatural would look like if it aired today is Hulu’s Helstrom - a show about two siblings with a childhood marked by strange and terrible happenings, who spend the season trying to defeat an evil demon. This show is a Hulu original that dropped all 10 episodes on October 16, 2020, and damn if that doesn’t sound familiar. I told a friend, “it’s like Supernatural but more emotions.” (Her response was, MORE emotions?!?!?) And before you dive down the rabbit hole, the characters in Helstrom made their debut in a Marvel comic back in the 70’s, so you can just chalk it up to nothing new under the sun. 

Big Mood, guys. Big Mood.

I’ll close this one by reiterating I don’t mind a filler episode. Some fillers can be weird and great and wonderful. I’d say “Tales of Ba Sing Se” (Avatar the Last Air Bender, Season 2)  is a great example - with the possible exception of Appa, the vignettes presented in “Tales” are basically side quests that have nothing to do with the main quest of season 2 and only serve to develop characters. The stories are sweet and touching and also light and fun.

I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying! It’s ok, I’m also crying. 

 And the longer a show runs, the more likely you are to run into these fillers - episodes that take a break from the main action to bring something that’s new and out of the box and possibly/probably writers getting bored with the every-day formula of the show. I think season 1 of Supernatural does a decent job of balancing the two styles of episode so that neither gets boring. In fact, I’m pretty Supernatural was what taught me the difference between the two episode styles in the first place. And the first time around, I was hyped for those season arc episodes, because back in the late 2000’s, I hadn’t seen a lot of TV content like that. Now, 15 years on and mired in a sea of seasons that stick mainly to a season arc story with little to no room for breathing, I think that if all TV became nothing but season arc episodes...well, it’d get pretty boring. 

[herefortheships]

Tonight is it. Tonight is the series finale of Supernatural. 

When I started watching this show in 2009, I had no idea the impact it would later have in my life. I owe so much to Supernatural, and especially Destiel, for the person I became. This show basically feels like a part of me, and even though I did fall out of love with it for some time, I never stopped watching it, because Sam, Dean, Cas, and later Jack, meant so much to me, even though I didn’t like the story/plot anymore, I cared to see how their stories would end. 

I had never gotten this emotionally involved with a TV show in my life. I’d say I got even more involved than Buffy, which is the other big TV show in my life. The difference probably lies on the fact that I binge watched Buffy, but I watched Supernatural real-time for 11 years. 

Here is my story with Supernatural:

I first heard of the show from one of my best friends at University. She was a huge fan. She recommended the show to me in 2008. She showed me images she had saved of Dean and Sam, and told me the basics of it; she was a Wincest shipper (later converted to a Destiel shipper), so her biggest investment in SPN was the brothers. I didn’t think Dean and Sam (Jensen and Jared) were as handsome as she thought they were. haha But she was crazy about them! I didn’t really get interested in watching the show; it didn’t exactly sound like something I’d watch.

Later, in 2009, my mom left the TV on as we sorted the laundry, and Supernatural was playing on TNT. My mom is a huge fan of Charmed, and she would always watch the Charmed reruns on TNT. She left it on and Supernatural started, and she got interested so she kept watching it. I don’t remember exactly which episode was playing (maybe the Wendigo episode? Not sure, but it was an early season episode). And after that day, we kind of started watching it out of order. 

I became really interested in the show and kept watching it after that day with my mom and sisters, but I wouldn’t exactly call myself a fan. I mean, I was a fan, but I still wasn’t that emotionally invested. When I could finally watch the entire show up to that point in order until Swan Song, that’s when I was already emotionally invested. I had become a “Sam!girl” and I cared so much about what was going to happen next. I was really happy when I found that a season 6 was happening and Sam was alive and out of Hell, and I was really happy to see that it was Sera Gamble running it, because her episodes had been my favorite. (I regretted being excited about Sera Gamble later though lol). 

During season 6 it’s when I started to notice Destiel. Or at least, I started noticing that Castiel was in love with Dean. In my mind, though, there was no way Dean was in love with Cas because for me back then, Dean was straight. I was also raised very conservative and catholic, so for me back then, homosexuality was a sin and it made me uncomfortable to think about it. Especially when deep inside, I wondered if I was not straight myself and I was scared about it--I knew I wasn’t exactly straight, but I was afraid to even consider the possibility (turns out, I’m asexual--I’ll get to that in a minute). For me Dean was straight even if Cas did love him. I started hearing about Destiel around that time in the internet, too. And my sister from the moment she saw Cas’ intro she was like “that’s Dean’s man”, though I thought she was joking. I saw Destiel art for the first time under Facebook posts, and I remember replying to those posts that it was beautiful art, but “the show is about Sam and Dean, about the brothers” (How dumb was I. lol).

So, I watched through seasons 6 and 7, and around this time Cas had become a favorite character for me, and seeing what Sera Gamble did with the character really hurt me. I hated the Megstiel fling they wrote for Cas, and hated what happened to Cas in season 7 when he lost his mind. That was painful to watch (I especially hated the Megstiel in season 7, it felt like... rape? If you know what I mean, since Cas wasn’t okay in his mind I felt like she could take advantage of him... That’s another conversation for another time, though). I had fallen out of love with Supernatural for the first time during season 7. But watching Supernatural had become something obvious for me and my family, you know? We’d always watch it, even if I wasn’t enjoying the story anymore. So, when season 8 started, we were right there to watch. 

And that’s when I really, really, saw Destiel happen right before my eyes. It was episode 8x02, and Dean remembered the moment he found Cas in Purgatory. That scene, that moment... I ran to my sister’s room (who was no longer interested in Supernatural), and I told her. I told her Destiel is real. I started researching online to see if other people really considered Destiel as a serious ship, or if it was just a for fun ship, as I had thought until then. And that’s how I came across Tumblr. I found Destiel Meta about season 7. And it made so much sense. Like, even season 7, which I hated and didn’t make sense to me, started to make sense! As a matter of fact, it only made sense when I looked at it through a Destiel lens. I found this huge community of people who saw Destiel and hoped for it to happen in canon. People who, like me, would only ship relationships that had potential for canon, and saw this in Destiel. I found, I am not imagining this; it’s really there. Dean and Castiel really have a shot at being together in canon. 

I also discovered the word “asexual” and what it means thanks to the reading of Castiel as asexual, during this time in late 2012, and I could finally define myself after wondering for years if I was actually a lesbian and I still hadn’t really defined it, though I liked boys but not in a sexual way. I found the term asexuality and I finally knew where I fit. I learned SO much through Destiel, and Tumblr, about sexuality and sexual orientations, about gender, about identity and representation, about the struggles and fight of the LGBTQ community... I can honestly say I am a better person today thanks to this ship. This is why representation matters so much.

Moving on, I fell out of love with Supernatural again during season 9. But by this time, I was too emotionally invested in these characters to quit the show. Seasons 10 was the same. I didn’t care much. Season 11... I was really uncomfortable with the Amara thing, given she was shown as a baby and Dean had this sexual connection to her... It was so darn weird. But then I realized something: Amara was an object that was there to develop Destiel even more?? And I got interested in SPN again, but I was treading carefully, because I felt like this show was kind of always baiting the fandom with Destiel, never to deliver in the end. I cared again, but never like I used to care back during season 8. 

Season 8 was my peak as a Supernatural and Destiel fangirl. During season 11 it was when I realized that I only cared about the characters now, but predominantly, I only cared about DeanCas at this point. The storylines were not engaging anymore, and some themes had become repetitive, because everything had been explored with these characters, except for the DeanCas romance (in a textual way). I wanted to see if their relationship was ever going to be acknowledged somehow in the show. 

Since season 11, up until November 5th, 2020, season 15 episode 18, I was watching Supernatural casually, just to see what would become of the characters and especially what would become of Destiel. I thought the MOST we were ever going to get was something ambiguous and easy to dismiss. Something like hand holding at MOST, but realistically, a glance that shippers could say meant more, but haters could easily dismiss. And then, 15x18 happened: Castiel confessed his love to Dean Winchester, in a final sacrifice of love. Cas said “I love you” after saying all these beautiful things about Dean and all the reasons why he fell in love with him. How Dean changed him for good. 

Suddenly, everything was possible. Suddenly, Destiel could really happen. It didn’t matter that Castiel was dead, because Castiel has been dead before too many times, and so has Dean (lol). Cas had to come back! And Dean would say those words back. 

All of those years, we were right! Destiel was truly a love story. 

I was okay for years, if Destiel never went canon, I didn’t mind anymore, because they were canon to me. I never even dreamed we’d get a canon love confession, and even less did I consider we’d be getting such a beautiful and epic love confession as the one we got. 

Now, as I wait for the finale episode in the series, I expect Destiel will be fully canon tonight. As I wait, I am a bundle of nerves and anticipation for the first time in years, in wait for a new episode. I am once again emotionally invested in these characters like I was years ago. Because now, Dean and Cas really do have a shot at being together at the end of this story. Now it’s no longer a fan fantasy and hope; now it’s real. Destiel is real. Destiel is canon. I have to say, after the way they have set up the story, I will be incredibly disappointed if it doesn’t resolve the way I hope, with a DeanCas happy ending. I cannot forgive a one-sided Destiel ending when they could have just let us have our headcanons at the end of the show. But at least we know Destiel was always real, and it was mentioned in the show, so it’s now indisputable that this was always a love story. That’s the up side. Castiel has confessed his feelings for Dean; he was canonically in love with Dean all this time and his rebellion against Heaven was all for Dean, and nobody can take that away from us now. In my heart I know, Dean is also in love with Cas, and that will be one of my takeaways from this show, especially now that Cas has come out and said the words. If I was right about Cas loving Dean, I am right about Dean loving Cas. 

As I wait for the series finale, I know in my heart, Supernatural will always be special for me. Not only because of Destiel, but because of all the years watching it with my mom and sisters and finding the fandom and participating in a fandom for the first time in my life. It was fun, and it was life-changing. 

I am incredibly grateful to Supernatural, this fandom, and especially Destiel. I am a better person because of this fandom, and I have zero regrets having been a part of this. (Even when I complain about Supernatural all the time! haha).

Super long ramble, and probably I could have worded this better, but I had to write something today, as it is the final day of Supernatural.

Let us hope for a happy ending. 

~ Des., November 19th, 2020