#again apologies if this doesn't make sense

[saint-vagrant]

i was a man long long long long before i got the surgery i did this week and long before i started hrt and long before i came out, so i am writing from the perspective of that particular life: it's cool that i got to decide to be a man and didn't have to be a woman or anything else. i mean, people tried to make me be a woman as much as they tried to make me straight or thin or meek and docile, but it didn't change me. it doesn't matter what i look like, dress like, how i move, how i talk, what i make, what i love. you can try to beat it down, but the reason you have to try so hard is because it will never go away.

being a man is awesome. don't let some uninspired crank ever convince you otherwise. when you're a man the way i am, there is no "escape" from the burdens heaped upon you (an accusation often levied even now) but you do escape wanting to kill yourself as much. and if that's the sort of escape people mean, it's a route worth taking. so with that in mind you'll find neither shame nor cowering nor apologies here.

i say "decide" because although i believe i have been this my whole entire life, and therefor it was not a choice, it still required Decision-making and i'm proud of those i've had the capacity and wherewithal to make. if all i ever did was die under a name i call my own, then it'd be worth it— and i have to be honest, i've already had more than that, and i want more still. some days, some years, surviving is all we can do, and it takes so much from and out of you to accomplish it. but i want more than just survival. i want to want to live and i want that to be enough. the decision to be a man in spite of rejection— being cast by the wayside out of the garden, a garden to which i was only a conditional visitor to begin with— was a decision to try my hand at living. and if i was always this, there's no sense fretting about what i Should or Shouldn't leave behind. if you can leave behind what would hurt you to carry now, then do that. do whatever.

imo there's nothing wrong or flimsy about framing it as Choosing, anyway. maybe it's life or death, maybe it's joy and pleasure. maybe it doesn't have to be dire to be real. maybe it does. plenty of people, cis and trans alike, try their hardest to wield the choice derogatorily. charged with moral rot, rolling their eyes, pointing their fingers— "who would CHOOSE to be a man?"

ME! i would! i did! and in every life, every timeline, i will choose it again!

[thenoellebird]

OH MY GOSH "you promise" OH MY GOSH JUST KILL ME WILL YOU AUGH

OW

and then Ford's just like "Yes Stanley." and he like idk gently holds the side of Stan's face and touches their foreheads together. Stan whimpers but just allows Ford to hold him there and then he starts to break again because oh gosh its SAFE and his brother is TOUCHING HIM GENTLY and like...just human physical contact is really powerful in terms of being gentle with somebody. It can make them feel so loved. and someone like stan who clearly desires physical attention--he's a big physical presence. He's always noogieing dipper and mabel and stuff--he's just THERE, yk? but he doesn't wanna push it. But Ford showing him gentle physical affection--exactly what he's wanted--in the midst of his confusion and pain--and just holding him and talking to him quietly, taking over his senses and distracting him from the pain until it fades...Stan can just close his eyes and feel safe in Ford's arms, but gosh that's terrifying because what if Ford throws him away again? What if he's not good enough, what if he messes up--

and those times he does mess up, he just starts panicking and sits in a corner, rocking back and forth apologizing haphazardly, begging to go home, and that's when Ford comes to him and tells him that he's okay. That Ford is his home. That they have home together and that Ford won't hurt him or leave him or throw him away again.

and that's all Stan has ever wanted. To be with Ford, to be by his side. He just wants his family--moreover he just wants his twin brother, his other half, and to feel safe with him.

I'm breaking my own heart but wE AINT STOPPIN BC THIS IS AWESOME and I'm using all this info and thoughts for my fic of the sea grunks!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDD (sequel to my current one--Old Habits Die Hard on Ao3 Tw for self-harm and suicide--shameless fic promotion)

Stanley's echolalia gets worse during breakdowns- the phrases he will often repeat are:

"No more" or "I'm sorry" or "I wanna go home" (with Ford he will often say "it was an accident")

When Stanford first catches this, he's overwhelmed by the apologies and despite telling his brother that he IS home, Stanley doesn't stop.

[once-a-traya]

i've been thinking a lot about the way kingdom come: deliverance ii structures its romances. it's interesting, in the sense that they all feel bespoke - short fling or long term or in-between, there's no hard and fast system that applies to all characters. most games with romances stick to a rhythm: you have the initial flirtation options, then there's a companion quest (or multiple companion quests), then you are 'locked in', and finally you get a scene at the end.

anyway, spoilers under the cut.

the romance with katherine is the closest to that model. which makes sense! she's a traumatized person who needs to be convinced henry is reliable, and she also doesn't know him, so the flirting is apt. it stretches across the entire game, because trust-building takes time and action (sidequests), and much like the romance with hans, a lot of the 'romance' moments hinge on non-romance moments you have with her throughout the story. romance in this game is part of a continuum of human interactions; it's something you can lean into if you want, not a reward toggle.

rosa's romance lasts while rosa is plot-relevant, and is contingent on you flirting with her and giving her the feeling that she and her capabilities are respected. you have to spend time with her and back her up, basically. then there's the various flings, which are all context-dependent. and theresa, which is technically a full-blown romance even if she's only on-screen for five seconds, because henry makes it a romance by bringing her up and speaking of their time together - in that version of the story, she's often on his mind. (but, like the other romances, you have to actively bring her up in the epilogue yourself; the game doesn't hand you "here's your reward romance content")

which leaves us with some interesting implications re: hans and henry. there are, as far as i've been able to find, five heart-icon dialogue interactions between them in the game, one of which is The Big Scene. none of the four romance dialogue options before that are flirty. the flirting happens outside of that, in all the non-romance sections, in ways that can be brushed off as bros-being-bros if you're into that. in fact i'd say most of the development that makes the romance possible happens in the non-romance sections.

the romance choices just let you lean in a little further.

the first romance dialogue comes at the midway point; it's hans apologizing for being a dick and henry can then respond to say it's fine, hans can always rely on him no matter how he behaves, he's the closest friend henry has. the second comes at maleshov, right after henry has staged an elaborate rescue for hans, and it's about henry reassuring a panicking hans that he will always be there for him and they can handle any situation together. the third romance dialogue comes halfway through the italian job and is missable - it's henry telling hans he's missed spending time with him, and repeating that when hans tries to joke it off as a 'yes we should go wenching again soon' kind of deal. finally, the fourth is shortly afterward, with henry worried about hans's claustrophobia, and stating, 'I care about you. maybe more than you know.'

hans brushes all of these things off, it seems like, but then by the Big Scene it's obvious he's been thinking about them a lot. and then hans is the one who makes a move, not henry (though you have to pick the option to trigger it). notably, even if you end the romance scene early by leaving or fumbling the moment, hans makes it clear he thought henry had feelings for him.

so if the difference between non-romanced and romanced katherine is flirting + her feeling she can trust and rely on henry, and the difference between non-romanced and romanced rosa is flirting + her feeling respected by henry, what's the difference between non-romanced and romanced hans? well. it's henry being earnest about his feelings, and going out of his way to make it clear that he cares about and values hans above everything else.

and that, maybe, in this time of extreme trial, he's safe to make this move on.

the extended implication of that is that hans had romantic feelings for henry all along, of some sort or another. he just doesn't address them in a non-romanced path because he doesn't feel confident to abandon plausible deniability and leave the safe, charged ambiguity between him and henry. not outwardly. possibly also not inwardly.

anyway, it's interesting. it also means that the entire game is technically the hans/henry romance arc. and i think that's neat.

[ribbonsfallaway]

I keep making post after post venting about how this show, especially this last part of the show was handled, and I want to make one from maybe a more rationally explained side.

Look I get the argument, "the show started with Johnny and Miguel, so it should end with them." As much as it makes me roll my eyes into the back of my head I do understand. However that doesn't mean Robby isn't important. Despite what some fans and the writers want us to believe.

I'd get if they had Miguel win at the end cause he's this gen's "Karate Kid", that's fine. My issue lies in the fact that Robby isn't allowed one win. Not just in a tournament sense, but in a personal sense. The show starts off with Johnny being a deadbeat loser father and Robby being the victim of him being a drunken deadbeat loser father. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. And the thing is to me Johnny didn't really try with Robby to be a better father. Sure you can spin he "tried", and Robby was "stubborn" but every time he did try and Robby fought him on it, Johnny fought back, and didn't actually allow his son to be angry. At least not to him. Sure he'd cry to Carmen, Miguel, etc., about how much of a screw up he was. Still somehow painting himself as a victim in all of this. But he never stated how much he messed up really with the one person who deserved it the most, and needed it the most. Robby. His son. Because I feel as much as Robby gave Johnny shit, the moments he had the door open for him… He just fucked up. Like I do feel like there was a doorway after the s1 tournament in early-s2. Robby very much expressed how you know he is trying, but it's going to take time. Instead of respecting this and instead of Johnny saying he'd try and gets it, he fights back that "he gets he screwed up" but he doesn't have to hang with Daniel. Daniel by the way being the one at this time to actually try and be there for Robby, and be a father figure to him. So Robby snaps back. That for some reason is the only thing people can focus on, and "poor Johnny!" for how "Robby speaks to him." Which… Whatever.

In season 3, there are a couple doors open for Johnny. That once more he messes up. When he's supposed to visit Robby at juvie after the school fight, and once more chooses Miguel over him. Just as he had been the first 2 seasons. Even after that when Johnny does go visit him Robby once more actually has some leeway with him here, he's upset at first but when he sees a somewhat efford on Johnny's end he relents and is accepting. It isn't until Robby finds out Johnny once more ditched him for Miguel that things blow up. And Johnny doesn't try to apologize on this end, he just pretty much places all blame on Robby for that, and yeah Robby fucked up badly during the school fight but really isn't rewarded the nuance of it I feel? And all the elements that went into that day, and fight. Except from Kreese really, and that's a whole other thing. That will just make this post longer.

And Johnny sure as shit didn't try in season 4 after Robby joined Cobra Kai. The scene at his apartment does not count at all because it was Robby who went there, and Johnny just tried to lecture him instead of inviting him in to talk things out. But whatever, and somehow at the end of the season somehow Johnny is miraculously forgiven despite doing not a thing to earn it. And see this is what bugged me here that it was Robby the child who had to let go of the anger, and not Johnny the 50-something year old adult man who had to earn it. And after that their relationship is all healed and after this Robby is never allowed to complain again because when he was justifiably angry the show punished him for it, and made it his problem. Not Johnny's.

So we have this aspect of it all of Robby not being chosen first ever by Johnny or anyone in his life frankly, because yeah Shannon went to rehab for him, and got better but we're not allowed to really see that. Hell maybe that would have made things a bit better. That we saw Robby had Shannon on his side, and would start choosing him.

We didn't get his relationship with Daniel really repaired. Yes they're on good terms but God I would have really loved to see them make up. The show loves to harp on how important Johnny and Miguel are, but frankly IMHO I feel Johnny and Daniel are just as important, and while I never truly was able to be on board with Johnny and Miguel I loved Daniel and Robby because Daniel for a time gave Robby what he needed until that blew to hell and the writers just brushed over them as if they weren't important.

We have this personal part of Robby's life to where he's never chosen once by anyone, and some I get, but others I can not accept. But it's Miguel who Johnny always picks over him. And in part 2 of this season a scene that also should have happened with Johnny and Robby only was reserved for Johnny and Miguel. Hell what I find worse is we never once see Johnny apologize to Robby and explain it was never him that was the problem, it was Johnny and he regrets how much he hurt him. What we do get is somehow Robby in this part of the season happy karate came into his life cause it gave him Johnny. Despite you know Johnny not doing a thing to earn it. Sorry I will die on this hill.

And I think this is what makes Robby fans upset about him losing at the end. Because maybe if in the past he was allowed one win, or if the writers spent half as much time on Johnny and Robby as they did Johnny and Miguel and validated Robby's feelings it would be OK. If the show showed us how important Robby was to the people in his iife and valued for that it would be OK. But we don't even get that. Not really.

And sure Robby gets a "good ending" but it felt shoehorned in to appease fans so Cobra Kai could come out on top.

And listen I get the show is called "Cobra Kai" but I could get into another rant about why just because the show is called Cobra Kai doesn't mean they always need to be the winners.

So really it's not in just a physical sense Robby never gets to win, it's in a personal sense, and on all that he's never allowed to be upset about it without the narrative framing him as in the wrong, or punishing him for it. Robby is truly never validated in any sense in this series, and as a fan it's frustrating to watch.

[stressfulsloth]

Thinking about Harry and all the animal parallels that follow him through the narrative. It's true that these animal parallels reflect the way that the brutality of individualist moralism strips him of humanity as someone who has fallen through the safety nets, and his agonised shout of 'I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore' can be interpreted as a direct admission of the RCM's dehumanisation of him as a disabled addict who is no longer as 'useful' as he once was. Gottlieb even directly tells him '[he] lost [his] human visage a while back.' Jean calls him 'the most dangerous animal of them all'. The rabid dog that needs to be put down, the black dog (also a common metaphor for chronic mental illness!) that Mollins shoots as it licks its wounds; the scared, hurt, frightened animal lashing out, chewing off it's own leg to escape the trap that it's caught in. The wild dog is all they can see.

But then there is a flipside to these parallels too; a kindness, a gentleness, almost a freedom in Harry’s animal parallels. He's strong like a 'goddamn ox,' like a bear ('I had to kill the bear to become the bear'). He's a harrier hawk, a name given to ensure his safety, raised up to the level of the aerostatics looking down over Revachol, 'soar[ing] on the wings of [his] spirit hawk.' He's a leopard ('its impossible to know where you end and the leopard begins'), discovering or rediscovering a love of softness and sensuality that he'd not known before via the leopard print leotard that 'speaks to the animal inside [him]' and touches on his relationship with his gender ('Yes, this is the type of animal I want to be.').

He's a 'seagull', a bird that will do 'whatever it takes to survive,' a 'bird of paradise' that tells a story of 'endurance- and adaptation' ('You! You and the seagull are just alike!'). He survives, despite everything, despite the grimness of the world around him. He endures. Even the sea monster comparison is oddly kind ('You've become a sea monster -- giant, hidden and... strangely tender at heart'). Even as a monster, he's still gentle; he still has so much love for this world that has wrung every last bit out of him. As if his tenderness is such an inherent part of him that no matter what monstrous face he wears, no matter what creature is there in his shadow, he cannot help but have some trace of it at his core. His tender soul 'quivering like jello.' The pain he feels is raw and animal but so is the love he feels. So is the hope and the fear and the wonder.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)

Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.

In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.

[hopefulcanary]

scrubbing in, with chapel and bones

idgaf if they canonically don't do this for whatever reason, we're all here for the #aesthetic

who are they about to tend to? eh, probably jim.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

[wutheringmights]

New CTB Music (2024 Update)

It's that time of year where I share some of the tracks that I added to my personal CTB playlist that have not been mentioned before on this blog (view (2021, 2022, and 2023 updates as well).

Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus 

Longing for your short hair to grow back to the way you like Thank you for the gesture I regret ever implying that you could be better Didn't mean to empty your perfect body And fill it with my passing will

Hate Me - Miley Cyrus

Go ahead, you can say that I've changed Just say it to my face One drink and I'm back to that place The memories won't fade

Is It Over Now? - Taylor Swift

"Come here, " I whispered in your ear In your dream as you passed out, baby Was it over then? And is it over now?

Halloween - Noah Kahan

But the wreckage of you, I no longer reside in And the bridges have long since been burned The ash of the home that I started the fire in It starts to return to the Earth I'm leavin' this town and I'm changin' my address I know that you'll come if you want It's not Halloween, but the ghost you're dressed up as Sure knows how to haunt, yeah, she knows how to haunt

Growing Sideways - Noah Kahan

But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me

Orange Juice - Noah Kahan

You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed And my heart, and my heart That my life has changed, that this town had changed And you had not That the world has changed, don't you find it strange That you just went ahead and carried on?

I Remember Everything - Zach Bryan

Strained words come on out Of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke Pictures and passin' time You only smile like that when you're drinking

Figure 8 - Paramore

All for your sake Became the very thing that I hate I lost my way Spinning in an endless figure eight

Let You Down - Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves

I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like I did before You'll just keep on slammin' closed hollow unlocked doors I'll let you down darlin', down babe Just like times before You'll just keep on crawin' back and beggin' me for more

No One Else to Blame - Madison Cunningham

For the burden and the stress For the heartache and the mess you entertain You put your money down on which part of you is next To slip down the drain with nothing, nowhere and no one No one else to blame

Golden Age - Ethel Cain 

Do you just want my blood? Am I just that damn hard to love? 'Cause it feels like all I have is still just not enough I guess that I'll just go outside and watch the fire And fields of gold fly farther away from me

Dawns - Zach Bryan & Maggie Rogers

Give me my dawns back Everything that dies makes its way back I lost her last July in a heart attack I need one small victory

Crave - Paramore

I romanticize even the worst of times When all it took to make me cry was being alive Look up and see a reflection Of someone who never gave way to the pain What if I told 'em that now that I'm older There isn't a moment that I'd wanna change?

Your Hate Could Power a Train - Madison Cunningham

I'm not messin' around, not ready to laugh about it I don't worship the ground that's holdin' you I think it's wrong, the way you harm But no one ever looks too hard at it What does it say about you? Your hate could power a train

Head In the Wall - Ethel Cain

Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all

thousand eyes - FKA Twigs 

If I walk out the door, it starts our last goodbye If you don't pull me back, it wakes a thousand eyes

teenage dream - Olivia Rodrigo 

They all say that it gets better, it gets better the more you grow Yeah, they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?

You First - Paramore 

Everyone is a bad guy And there's no way, no way to know Who's the worst Karma's gonna come for all of us And I hope, well, I hope, I just hope She comes, comes for you first, oh

Vampire Smile - Kyla La Grange

I want a scar that looks just like you, 'Til then I gotta learn to be a wiser fool.

[unimaginativebepisenjoyer99]

the satrinyavas

[the-mang0tree]

My boi you cannot keep dropping such incredible/interesting transformers AUs and expect me not to get invested in them

I need more lore on all of them and i need them NOW!!!

IM SORRY LMAO 😭😭 i get crazy inspired by songs

i can tell u abt this last one, but there's not much, the idea popped to my head this morning lol 😭

everyone's shocked by op's death, because it was at the hands of an autobot !! not megan, not a decepticon, but a trusted bot. peace talks were ready to take place, but they almost didn't happen bc of it, since the bots thought the cons had brainwashed that mech into offlining oppy

im thinking megs and op weren't ever really close, not even before the war, like they were just figureheads of their own factions that opposed each other, they were never friends. so op dies, megs is very obviously shocked and angry like everyone else, since they're accusing Her faction of something they didn't do

one day he finds op on his room, looking all blue and transparent and snooping around. after triple checking with soundwave (+ some deep contemplation about possibly hitting his head recently) he accepts that his fate is being annoyed to death by his ex-enemy (they become friends eventually, hurray)

some Loong time later, peace is achieved, she doesn't step up to become leader like everyone said she would, and instead aims to just try to live a normal life. except literally Everyone is scared of him to some degree, he obviously has no friends (that are alive) and frankly it's making him depressed and angry that he can't go to the store without everyone running away (even if it was kinda funny at the beginning). so oppy decides to start teaching him to be nice and to start trusting others, it's safe to say megs is not a great student but is at least trying

[fallloverfic]

Really tired of people calling FG by the one name that makes zero sense in context, is alienating to a lot of people, and is actually the single figure Mojito has confirmed he's not. Are people just unaware of one of the more popular hairstyles/looks for guys with long(ish) brown(ish) hair and beards/beard stubble in (and out of) media?

People/characters listed left to right, starting with the top:

Row 1: Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes in Captain America: The Winter Soldier; François Arnaud as Cesare Borgia in The Borgias; David Wenham as Faramir in The Lord of the Rings; Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay in The Mummy Returns; Jason Carter as Marcus Cole in Babylon 5

Row 2: Kevin Sorbo as Hercules in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys; Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace; "Foreign God" in ENNEAD Season 1, Episde 65; "Foreign God" in ENNEAD Season 2, Episode 10; Robin Atkin Downes; Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing in Van Helsing

Row 3: Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars; Hades in Blood of Zeus, James Watson as Duncan Idaho in Dune (2000); Gale in Baldur's Gate 3; Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings

Row 4: Mark Ryder as Cesare Borgia in Borgia; Jason Momoa; Nigel Terry as King Arthur in Excalibur; Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer in Leverage; Jared Padalecki

Like I could keep adding people and characters to this because this style is so damn common (I was honestly tempted to make a second collage, bare minimum). But I'd be here forever. There are a number of other fan names for the unnamed foreign god, including Foreign God, FG, Beard, Mustache, or you could go with what Seth calls him, "Furball".

[linagram]

[ 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝-𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 #𝟶𝟷 ] 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

the second trial is getting closer and closer to its end. it's time for miki to finally meet jackalope, learn more about how this place works and who she's going to work with in the next season.

(also she has her hair down now!)

(the door opens)

Miki: *sighs*

Miki: Well, uh..

Miki: I guess it's over.

Miki: ...

Miki: It's.. kinda lonely now.

(sound of Miki sitting down on her bed)

Miki: This is so..

Miki: *starts crying*

Miki: This is not.. fair.. 

Miki: Eiji-san.. had worked so hard.. 

Miki: A-and now..

Miki: H-he'll be fine, right? I mean, we don't have anyone who can treat him, b-but..

Miki: I-I asked Chiba-san, but she's not a doctor, she's just the oldest one here..

Miki: A-and I can only d-do first aid stuff..

Miki: T-thankfully, it's just a broken arm, it could've been much worse..

Miki: But still..

Miki: .. Why is Eiji-san the only guard that the prisoners can touch?

Jackalope: Good question.

Miki: *SCREAMS*

Jackalope: Okay, before you try to hit me with anything-

Miki: WHO ARE YOU?! 

Miki: Or.. uh..

Miki: WHAT ARE YOU?!

Miki: "I.. I knew there was something wrong with this place, but I didn't expect to see this rabbit thing-"

Miki: ...

Miki: .. Rabbit thing?

Jackalope: Here we go again.

Jackalope: Oh-

Miki: Are you the rabbit that Hiyuu-san mentioned?!

Jackalope: S-stop shaking me-

Jackalope: .. Hiyuu?

Miki: Uh.. You know..

Miki: The third guard.

Miki: Wait, why am I even having a conversation with you? How can you even talk?!

Jackalope: Let's talk about that later.

Miki: I literally want to know why we can talk like this!

(sound of Jackalope jumping down on the bed)

Jackalope: Anyway. 

Jackalope: So, you're Miki, right? 

Jackalope: Yeah, you're definitely the cutest one out of all the guards we have this time.

Miki: .. How many guards do you have exactly?

Jackalope: Eh, there was supposed to be one more, but he couldn't handle the pressure, so..

Miki: .. What do you mean by that?

Jackalope: Actually, maybe I should explain how exactly we chose the guards this time. I don't think anything bad will happen if you learn more about this.

Jackalope: Also, I just trust you more than that Eiji guy. There is a reason why you're the "goddess of this place" after all, haha.

Miki: B-but what happened to the fourth guard-

Jackalope: So, you have probably already noticed that there's some kind of pattern if you think more about the connection you and Eiji have with other prisoners.

Jackalope: Two prisoners in particular. 

Miki: .. Eiji-san and Kei-san are brothers. Me and Asahi-san are siblings.

Jackalope: Exactly. So, why do you think we decided that we should choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards?

Miki: .. No idea. 

Jackalope: Well, you might be thinking that we did it out of some kind of sadistic urge to make you two judge your own siblings, however, Eiji hates Kei and would love to see him die.. or at least that's what he says, and it took you some time to remember that Marito is actually your brother.

Miki: How do you know his-

Jackalope: It isn't actually that entertaining, especially if we consider how you two tend to vote everyone. Eiji would still vote Kei guilty no matter what and you would do the opposite with Marito and forgive him every single time.

Jackalope: Also, this is just.. tasteless to me. What we need is actual judgement, even if it's based only on the prisoners' looks, and not your connections and relationships and how much you will cry when it's time to vote them guilty.

Jackalope: Though you have to agree that you have.. certain relationship dynamics with some of them. I bet it's getting harder to make decisions because of them.

Miki: So.. Why did you go for the prisoners' siblings?

Jackalope: The answer is simple, really.

Jackalope: Because it was easier.

Miki: .. Huh?

Jackalope: Think about it. What, you think we just found you all in a minute?

Jackalope: Yes, this prison might work in some mysterious ways that are impossible for someone like you to understand, but we had to find ten murderers who live in completely different cities and towns, wait for the right moment to send them here, make sure their family, friends and loved ones didn't find out and we also needed to find guards to judge them. Not one guard, but more, because this time we needed to see how the trial would go with people who have completely different morals.

Jackalope: So, then we found out more information about everyone's family members, we learned about you and Eiji, and we were like..

Jackalope: We need to put these two in the same room and see how it will play out.

Jackalope: But we still needed more than two guards because there was a possibility of you two refusing to work together and we didn't want a 50/50 result, so..

Miki: What is a "50/50 result"?

Jackalope: So yeah, we just decided that it will be easier to choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards because we wouldn't have to think too hard about it.

Miki: ...

Miki: U-um, sir, I don't know your name..

Jackalope: Oh, right, please forgive me for not introducing myself earlier, haha. Call me Jackalope-

Miki: A-anyway, sir, that's kind of lame.

Jackalope: Huh.

Miki: I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THAT!

Jackalope: No, no, I want you to elaborate.

Miki: Well.. I thought that there would be more thought put into.. 

Miki: You know.. All of this.

Jackalope: But we did put a lot of thought into it! 

Jackalope: For example, we've even chosen-

Jackalope: .. Ahem. I did agree to tell you about the siblings part, but I have to stop myself here. You're lucky that you're cute and it's hard to say no to you.

Miki: "I just wanted to learn more about the fourth guard.."

Miki: S-so, the fourth guard is-

Jackalope: We actually weren't sure if we should make you and Eiji the prisoners or Kei and Asahi.

Miki: ... What?

Jackalope: Or, you know, Kei and you, Eiji and Asahi, whatever.

Miki: W-what? Why?

Miki: W-why would you have a problem with making that choice?

Jackalope: Well, I think you already know the answer.

Jackalope: I mean, you all are murderers in some way.

Miki: ...

(sound of Miki falling on the floor)

Jackalope: Aw, don't look so sad. You already knew that-

Miki: But I.. But.. 

Miki: B-but Marito is alive! He's here! I didn't kill him!

Miki: I still think I'm a terrible sister and he deserves someone better than me, but..

Jackalope: Oh, Miki, you know I'm talking about someone else.

Miki: ...

Jackalope: We both know that Marito wasn't your victim.

Miki: ...

Miki: Well, Eiji-san can't be a murderer. He's too good for that.

Jackalope: "Good"? *laughs* You're way too pure for someone like him.

Jackalope: You seriously think a normal guy would have so much fun punishing everyone? And would be so experienced with coming up with ways to torture people?

Miki: E-even if he did kill someone, I'm sure he had a reason-

Jackalope: And so what? He's still a murderer.

Jackalope: You are a murderer. He is a murderer. The prisoners are murderers too. 

Jackalope: Milgram doesn't care about how you guys did it and why. You all had something to do with someone's death. Whether it was a direct murder, whether it was driving someone to suicide, whether it was causing someone's death by inaction, whether it was an accident, whether it was self-defense, this prison doesn't care.

Miki: .. But this isn't how a normal prison works. This isn't how normal trials work.

Jackalope: And you already know this place is anything but normal.

Miki: .. Is Hiyuu-san also a murderer?

Jackalope: Hm.. Kind of, but not really. Though he is partially responsible for someone.. almost dying.

Jackalope: And because of you and Eiji being more.. direct, we made you two wake up first.

Jackalope: Actually, if we count the fourth one, he was the one who woke up first, but.. There was a reason for that.

Miki:"We weren't the ones who woke up first?!"

Jackalope: There also was another reason why we went for the siblings, but this one.. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it much.

Jackalope: So let's just say, it would be easier for us to make some.. changes to the trial.

Miki: "Changes"?

Jackalope: Well, for example..

Jackalope: If you keep asking more questions, maybe one day you will be the one waking up in a prison cell and waiting for your brother to judge you.

Miki: B-but you were the one who decided to tell me all this!..

Miki: Wait..

Miki: What.. does this all mean?

Miki: Actually, who are "we"?

Miki: You're wearing what looks like a guard uniform.. But I don't think you're one of the guards..

Jackalope: Haha, no, I'm not the fourth guard-

Miki: THEN WHO ARE YOU?!

Miki: WHO ARE ALL OF YOU?!

Miki: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS? WHY ARE WE HERE?

Miki: JUST ANSWER ALREADY OR I WILL K-

Miki: ...

Jackalope: See? You all are murderers. Simple as that.

Jackalope: Oh, right, it's time for you two to properly meet each other.

Jackalope: I know you two have already met in person..

Jackalope: Even though I had told him not to leave his room..

Jackalope: Anyway, meet the third guard of the Milgram prison: Kuroki Hinode!

(the door opens)

(sounds of Hinode's steps)

Hinode: I really could just use a screen for this, but it'd be very rude..

Hinode: Hello, Miki-san. It's very nice to meet you again like this.

***

Jackalope: So, how are you doing?

(silence)

Jackalope: Not good, huh? Understandable.

Jackalope: But hey, at least it was Yurika who broke your arm. I can't imagine how you'd react if it was Kei.

(silence)

Jackalope: Well, I doubt you'll be able to participate in the voting process this time. 

Jackalope: Anyway, see you-

Eiji: .. Judge..

Jackalope: Hm?

Eiji: I still.. 

Eiji: Need to judge them..

Jackalope: Hey, I admire your diligence, but we already have a guard with health problems, so-

Eiji: Well, what else do you expect me to do?!

Eiji: I'm not just gonna lie here!

Eiji: If I can't judge them, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Eiji: I FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO! I KNOW WHAT THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE IS!

Eiji: JUST LET ME DO MY JOB ALREADY!

Eiji: !

Eiji: .. It hurts..

Jackalope: *sighs* I really wish you could be more obedient. Why can't you just follow the others' example?

Eiji: .. Did you do something to me?

Jackalope: Huh?

Eiji: Nobody can touch Miki. But they can touch me perfectly fine. 

Eiji: And if I remember correctly, this started to happen only when the second trial began.

Eiji: So.. Again, did you do something to me?

Jackalope: .. Seriously, why do you remember our first meeting so well?

Jackalope: Now, where was that thing.. 

Jackalope: Right. Anyway, you'll forget everything in like five minutes, so I can just say it to you right now.

Jackalope: Eiji, I mean this in the nicest way possible. 

Jackalope: Your punishments are creative. I really wish I could see you punish more prisoners after the first trial.

Jackalope: But no, there wasn't even any fight between you and Miki. You've just let her save like seven prisoners.

Jackalope: So, uh.. You don't really make a good guard.

Jackalope: And you didn't give us the result we wanted, so..

Jackalope: Yeah, this is your punishment.

Eiji: ...

Jackalope: Anyway, have a nice dream.

[thehealingsystem]

gonna reveal myself as a fake mcr fan danger days I'm not much of a fan of I haven't ever read killjoys and I don't listen to gerard way's music

[handsomethrowrug]

I've been thinking about the art I reblogged earlier. It's been in my drafts for weeks because of how important I deem it to be, but I wanted to wait until I felt I had time to actually write about it.

At the end of the day, K.ovu's legacy is wild to think about. He was raised to be an heir, the so-called 'chosen one' of the tyrant king. It's so much a part of who he is, it's literally his name. There's this looming shadow over him, and the expectation that he's going to grow up and take S.imba's place as king.

But... From the little that's seen, I get the impression that K.ovu knows barely anything about S.car, which is odd when you consider Z.ira's, well, her everything.

K.ovu knows he looks like S.car, but not necessarily how much. He was praised for his intelligence, but might not know any other instances outside of S.car's cruelty. He clearly doesn't hold the dead lion in high praise despite it all, and is quick to change his mind once someone actually talks about S.car.

All of this is not even considering the crux of the matter: what S.car actually thought of K.ovu. Was he actually the chosen one? Was a positive comment made about how hearty the newly born cub looked? On this blog, I do have it that he did consider K.ovu being the 'face' of the throne, but there wasn't much time to allow him to observe all the cubs and make a proper decision or put his plans into motion. We know from the musical that S.car did desire an heir, but it seems unlikely that he would favour a cub that wasn't his ("Immortality will be mine!"). Without any sort of flashback, and with the first movie made without any consideration for a sequel, we can only take Z.ira's word. Personally, it's not the most reliable, and so we'll never actually know whether she speaks the truth, or whether she seized the opportunity with a visually similar cub to grasp at power, since we know for a fact that K.ovu is not S.car's.

Perhaps, ultimately, it's a distorted version of S.imba and M.ufasa, where a path ahead is set on the cub's 'destiny'... But the difference is that one had the opportunity to learn what precisely that path was from the king in question.

After all, an heir doesn't choose his destiny when assigned to follow in the par-prints of those who came before them. An heir is told to follow the status quo and uphold particular ideals, because these are what is considered 'normal' in their upbringing.

[certainwill]

my gousotsu brainrot came back and is driving me up the wall...

the POTENTIAL is SO GOOD but whenever I think about the things I don't like about it I'm like. arrrrgh. pulling my hair out... i'm in love with what it could've been, but the knowledge that it's all just my headcanons i love and not the actual reality of what was intended just makes me so sad sometimes...