#afterglow review

[stellewriites]

Part 5 - John Price x reader

Masterlist

Summary: When John gets an unexpected invite to his ex-wife's wedding, he scrambles to find a suitable date to take with him to ward off old ghosts from his past.

Notes: trans John, fat reader, smut - fingering, oral (f!receiving), riding/frotting, John's genitals are referred to as cock.

You’d been screening John’s calls and leaving his texts unread for the last fortnight, feeling worse and worse for it and not knowing exactly why you were doing it.

Each notification had your heart pumping in excitement for the possibility of him still reaching out despite your silence, and then thumping too hard in immediate anxiety and guilt.

“Stop moping and text him,” Kate said to you finally. She’d been watching you check your phone routinely throughout brunch and had noticed how you were only half focused in their conversations and slow to engage. You’d laugh a second later than the others and had forgotten what you’d ordered when it had arrived at the table.

“I’m not ready for dating.” You shrugged her off, looking back down at your phone.

She huffed and sent you a disbelieving look. Your other two friends currently present, Cass and Paige, paused their conversation to look at you doubtfully too.

“I’ve not seen you as happy as you had been recently when you were hanging out with him,” Kate said and the other two agreed. “I know this isn’t a confidence thing either. He said he liked you, and you clearly liked him.”

“Katie,” you said warningly.

“She’s not wrong,” Paige said and took a sip of her drink.

“I mean, hell, if you’re really set on not dating, then don’t! That’s fine, but text the guy back for god’s sake and hang out again. Or put him out of his misery.” She bit a large chunk out of her avocado toast as you slumped in your chair.

“He’s still trying, right? That’s what you were worried about?” Cass said, hitting the nail on the head.

Guiltily you looked down at the unanswered messages under John’s contact. It stung to realise that maybe John had been genuine that night and you’d turned him down so bluntly.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek and typed up your reply, sending it before you could talk yourself out of it.

>> hi john sorry for the distance, i’ve been figuring some stuff out. make it up to you over coffee if you’re free later?

He didn’t leave you waiting anxiously for long, replying immediately with an affirmative.

“What did he say?” Paige asked.

“We’re meeting up later,” you said a little bashfully. “He said he’s looking forward to seeing me.”

Kate smiled knowingly. “Yeah, I bet.”

You elbowed her lightly and put your phone away. It was easier to settle back into the conversation with the group, easier to concentrate, with your chest not feeling so tight.

——

“Hey,” you greeted him softly inside the coffee shop later that day. He’d arrived early again.

You felt almost more awkward now than you had when meeting him for the first time.

“How have you been, Sunshine?” He asked as you took your seat.

“Good. Fine. Yeah.” You nodded before you shook it. “I wanted to apologise, John. For a lot of things but—“

“No need, Sunshine, honestly,” he waved you off gruffly, leaning forward in his seat as you shrank back in yours. “I’m just glad you’re happy to see me now.”

“I am,” you confirmed with a shy smile, sat opposite him and growing more relaxed at the pleased twitch of his moustache.

“So what’s been new?” He asked again.

You snorted. “It’s only been a couple of weeks since we last saw each other,” you said.

He blushed, the pink flush half hidden behind the beard he was growing back out.

“Guess I got used to all the updates throughout the day quicker than I’d realised.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before looking to the counter and sitting up straighter. “Do you want anything? My treat.”

Your smile had dropped at the reminder of how you’d skipped out of his life so suddenly; even though you didn’t owe him anything, you had grown to be friends before the wedding and you know you’d have been hurt if it was the other way around.

“Yeah, just an iced latte please,” you said before stopping him from standing. “Hey, I said I was making it up to you. I should be paying.”

He huffed a laugh. “Not likely. You’re making it up to me by sticking around, Sunshine. You didn’t have to come at all.”

“John…”

“One iced latte coming up,” he said and stood. “God knows why, they taste more of sugar than coffee.”

“That’s exactly why,” you huffed a hesitant laugh as he headed to the counter. When he came back a minute later and sat down with the drinks you took a sip before speaking. “To answer your question, work has been the same old, but I’m thinking of maybe getting a pet? Tied between a cat and a rabbit at the moment. If it’s a rabbit, I’ll need to sort the garden though, it’s little bit overgrown right now.”

His eyebrows raised in surprise and he put his tea down. “You got the tools for it?”

“I think my neighbour has a lawnmower and my mum probably has a pair of shears I could borrow for the hedges,” you hummed. It had only been a half thought semi-recently, so you’d not put much planning into the idea yet, just the start of a pinterest board of cute ideas.

“I could help,” he offered, a touch too casual. “If you wanted. I’ve got a lawnmower I don’t get to use too often and some time off before I have to head back to work.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said with a gentle smile.

He nodded.

“What about you?” You asked.

“Same old,” he said vaguely, repeating your own words back at you. He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “I am having to go back to work properly soon though.”

You tilted your head, confused at his drab tone, certain as you were that you’d messaged once or twice when he was at work, stuck doing paperwork or in a meeting before the wedding.

“I’ll be heading overseas,” he clarified. “Might not be contactable for a few weeks at a time. Just didn’t want you to think…”

“That you were ignoring me to get back at me for the fact that I ghosted you?” You guessed when he trailed off. John nodded sheepishly.

“Fuck, I’m glad I’ve gotten to see you before I go,” he said quietly, just looking at you.

“Me too,” you agreed. Impulsively, you finished off your drink and made a quick decision. “Do you want to come back to mine for dinner? I’ll cook.”

John grinned brightly. “I’d love that.”

——

You busied yourself in the kitchen when you got back home with him, missing his chuffed smirk when he saw your door was still in working order with no sign of it dragging on the doorstep.

You didn’t miss his hum when he joined you in the kitchen a moment later.

“That shelf meant to be on a slant?” He asked, eyes shrewd as he looked at your collection of herbs and spices.

“Oh, no but I’ve just never found time to fix it. And it’s not fallen down yet, so it’s not even made an appearance on my Urgent List.” You shrugged.

He hummed again and headed back to the front door. “I’ve got my tool box with me, I’ll sort it now for you.”

“No, John, you don’t have to,” you called after him, but he was already out of the door. You didn’t know that he’d kept his toolbox in his truck ever since he was first here just in case you messaged again needing anything sorted, and now he was glad his foresight was paying off.

The shelf was sorted quicker than the kettle boiled and you swatted at him to go relax once he’d cleaned up after himself. He placatingly held his hands up in mock surrender and went to wash up in the bathroom while you rinsed some veg under the kitchen tap.

You were given ten minutes of peace before you started to wonder where he’d gone and left the pasta in the pan boiling and the sauce on a low heat to find him. You weren’t afraid to chew him out if he was snooping, but instead you found him hunched over the sink in the bathroom.

“Taps were finicky,” he said before you’d had chance to ask him what he was doing. When he’d had chance to grab his tools from the kitchen without you noticing you didn’t know, but you couldn’t help but snicker as he frowned down at the old taps.

“Don’t do well sitting still, do you, John?”

He shrugged. “Figured I might as well since I’m here,” he said instead.

You snorted. “Come help me with the sauce once you’re done here then.”

You stifled a laugh when you heard him swear through the open door before the sound of a running tap turned on and off a few times. He came back through to the kitchen a little later with a satisfied smile and you did your best to concentrate on cooking instead.

You smiled at him when he settled in next to you to take over stirring the sauce, leaving you free to set the table. You felt a pang of domesticity, it was all so easy with John.

You plated it up and sat down together. Eating dinner with him was just as easy, the awkwardness you’d felt walking into the cafe forgotten about completely as conversation flowed naturally between the two of you. Though you did have to fend the man off from planning to go out in the morning to get the wood to build you either a hutch for a potential rabbit or put up climbing shelves if you decided on a cat instead; he’d figured you’d be able to decide by time you’d finished the pasta.

“Best meal I’ve had in a while,” he sighed happily when he finished off the pasta. “Stunning.”

“Thanks, John,” you said bashfully. When you stood to take the dishes he moved quicker and grabbed the plate from your hands. You didn’t bother complaining, knowing how stubborn the man was already; instead you joined him and put the dishes away once he’d cleaned them, smiling to yourself as the pair of you worked in comfortable silence.

When all was put away and your kitchen was back to normal - now with a sturdier shelf - he smiled and headed for the door reluctantly with his toolbox in hand.

“Thanks for today, Sunshine,” he said softly and, after a brief moment of deliberation, he leant in to kiss your cheek. “Talk to you later?”

You nodded happily and closed the door behind him.

When you laid in bed later that night you couldn’t stop thinking about the gentle, chaste kiss. The only real one you’d shared so far.

——

You only got a week with John before he disappeared. He’d made you promise to keep him updated like you would normally so he could catch up when he got back again, but you tried not to overwhelm his notifications; sticking to a couple of texts every few days instead of the daily messages you’d quickly fallen back into.

If he wanted more you were sure he’d let you know and if he only skim read the mountain of messages and photos you’d still managed to send then you’d ease up next time.

He said he would be gone a month, tops, but you didn’t hear from him for two. You tried not to worry, his job wasn’t an exact science, but that fact could make you more anxious depending on the day.

It was a random Wednesday evening when you got a knock on your front door and your heart suddenly plummeted.

You walked to the door with shaking hands. The repercussions of John’s work had never fully occurred to you until this moment, or at least you’d done your best not to linger on it for too long. But now visions of the person on the other side of your door being someone in an official uniform, waiting to let you know weeks too late that John had—

John had shown up to your house unexpectedly.

“Sunshine.” He smiled.

Clearly tired, he stood on your doorstep with his hair damp and curling at the ends, his beard overgrown and his work gear still on, though a big bag was hooked over his shoulder. His smile never wavered, relieved when you answered the door.

“John?” You stepped to the side to let him in without a second thought and he trailed a heavy hand appreciatively down your arm.

“Cleaned up a little at base, but I haven’t stopped driving home since. I’ve had you on my mind as soon as we were wheels down,” he admitted with soft eyes.

You didn’t question his use of the term ‘home’ when referring to driving to yours after spending months in another country and you certainly weren’t going to think about how it made you feel.

“You should’ve gone back to yours to sleep, or at least dropped off your things,” you berated him half-heartedly. “We could’ve caught up when you weren’t running on— what? Four hours of sleep?”

“Knew you’d be my first stop.” He’d dropped his bag by the front door, his daft hat dropped on top, and was slumping onto your couch with a heavy sigh. “Should’ve left my shit at base maybe. Just didn’t want to have to drive back tomorrow.”

“Have you eaten?” At his slight shake of the head, you moved to the kitchen and started pulling something together, leaving him to relax. You knew he must be tired by how he wasn’t following after you, and your suspicions were confirmed when you came back with a thick sandwich, the last slice of a quiche you’d made earlier in the week and some picky bits from your fridge to find him asleep. You cringed at the lacklustre dinner, but you hadn’t been expecting guests and you were going grocery shopping tomorrow, so you placed it on the coffee table and sat down carefully next to him so he didn’t wake.

Turning down the volume on the TV, you let him nap as you watched a few episodes of your latest favourite. You couldn’t help but let your eyes dart over to him every so often to check on him, giggling when you noticed his mouth had dropped open during his well deserved catnap.

You paused your show when he grumbled and wiped a slow hand over his face a few hours later.

“Hello, sleepyhead. Hungry?”

“Starving,” he groaned croakily.

“Best I could do on short notice,” you said and handed him the plate. You watched like a big cat documentarian as he tore through the food with an unholy passion, finished in minutes. You silently handed him your water and he chugged it back with a loud ‘ahh’ after.

“Lovely as ever,” he said sleepily before nodding back off. You stifled a laugh and stood to grab him an extra pillow and blanket. It was clear he wouldn’t be driving home tonight, so you thought you might as well let him get comfy and crash on the couch for the night.

A brief thought crossed your mind of waking John and letting him share your bed; you’d done it for the wedding after all, and it wouldn’t have to mean anything.

You shook your head and draped the blanket over him. You knew it would mean something and you weren’t ready to make that step yet as much as you wanted it.

——

You woke in the morning to John using your shower and you smiled at him with raised ‘brows when he came back out dressed in more familiar civ clothes. You looked for the bag at the front door but couldn’t see it.

“Staying for breakfast or heading home?”

“Heading home, sadly. But I’ll call you later, yeah? I want to catch up properly,” he said. “Thanks for letting me stay, Sunshine.”

“Of course,” you said genuinely and in between bites of your cereal. “It was a nice surprise.”

He hummed and leant in to kiss your temple with a warm hand cradling the back of your neck. You tried desperately not to push into him and to ignore the thoughts of how he smelt like you out of your head; how if anyone tried to flirt with him on his way home they’d smell your strawberry shampoo and very berry body wash. How your spring air scented febreeze spray had sunk into his jacket from the couch through the night.

Your subtle mark was all over him and neither of you seemed to mind.

“Call me when you get home, John.”

He hummed, lingered for a moment more, then headed out with his bag in tow.

——

The bar was loud and your friends were still wide awake and partying strong, celebrating the news of Paige’s well earned promotion. You, however, were flagging.

It was late, and the prospect of staying out any later was making holding back a yawn nigh impossible. You’d never been a big drinker so you’d not been keeping pace with the others, a possible mistake since you seemed to lack the same energy as them, found firmly in their second wind. The last thing you wanted to do was bail but you didn’t want to bring the mood just down hanging around either.

Your phone buzzed and you smiled when you saw it was john.

>> Still awake?

<< for once yeah :p

>> What show has you gripped to binge watch late into the night this time?

You snorted.

<< out celebrating with friends, paige got promoted!!!

>> Tell her congratulations from me

>> What time does the party end?

<< idk but i’m ready for bed already 😪

<< taxi isn’t booked for another couple of hours tho :(

John’s speech bubble appeared and disappeared a few times and you watched the screen avidly.

>> Do you want me to come meet you to walk you home?

<< really??

<< would you mind? it’s late and a little cold so you don’t have to!

>> Send me the address and I’ll set off now

<< thanks john ❤️

Either John lived close or he’d ran there, as you’d only just finished telling your friends that you were leaving early when John turned up.

“You shouldn’t leave on your own, walking home at this time of night is dangerous,” Cass said worriedly, her words slurring slightly.

“I’m not, John’s meeting me to walk me home,” you said and flushed when they all cheered and whistled at the mention of his name; their catcalls gained volume and enthusiasm when John walked through the bar door a second later, head on a swivel as he looked for you in the crowd.

“Fuck off,” you hissed at your friends playfully and hugged them all goodbye before you headed over to John. He was grinning and waved happily over to your friends, nudging you when he saw the embarrassed scrunch of your shoulders.

“Good night?” He asked once you were on the path outside.

“Yeah.” You smiled. “She deserved the raise like three years ago, but at least they’re finally recognising all the work she does.”

John nodded along. He cursed a moment later when he felt a few raindrops. You both looked up at the gentle patter and gasped when it quickly turned torrential.

Your walk turned into a run as John grabbed your hand tightly and led you a little shop alcove near by, shoving you under and crowding in after you.

“Shit, I should’ve driven,” he blamed himself, looking at your soggy jacket and the rain that had splattered your round cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it, John,” you waved it off. “Bit of rain never hurt anyone.”

The pair of you were pressed close, his broad shoulders and your wide hips taking up the space in the doorway enough that you were both holding your breath in each other’s space.

“Just my luck really,” you said.

“It’s just British weather,” John corrected. “Don’t know why I wasn’t expecting it to rain in the middle of summer,” he joked.

You laughed and felt butterflies flutter at his mirrored rumble, focused on where your stomach pressed against his. You no longer felt tired stood with him.

It went quiet, with just the soft rain and the sound of the odd car passing by the only things heard for a moment as you both held your breath, eyes locked.

You leant forward those last few inches and pressed your lips against his. Your noses bumped and you automatically lifted a hand to tilt his chin slightly to adjust, pressing your lips a little firmer when he followed your guiding hold. His hands on your hips were reverent as he let you lead.

You delighted in the scratch of his beard for a split second before suddenly flinching back, your hand becoming firm against his shoulder to keep him from following.

“Fuck,” you swore shakily. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” he huffed with a confused smile.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” you insisted. You felt him lean towards you and firmed the stretch of your arm to keep him in place as best you could in the small space. “It’s mixed messages. It’s not fair to you.”

“I’m still waiting,” he admitted. “I’ll wait however long y’need, Sunshine.”

You ducked your head.

“I feel guilty,” you whispered. You swallowed thickly as the reasons were finally voiced even as you avoided his eyes. “I feel like it’s Charlotte all over again for you; I’m stringing you along when you could be finding someone else. I’m— it’s not fair,” you repeated.

He leant back in shock, a frown pulling at his brows and his mouth moving silently for a moment. John looked down at you from his tucked in chin and considered your comparison, knowing the quick denial on the tip of his tongue wouldn’t soothe you.

“Have you decided that then? You don’t want to be with me?” He asked finally.

You hesitated, unable to lie and say no, and he latched onto that with a fierce hold.

You thought back to what your friends had said, the fun you’d been having with him again, how natural it all was.

“Sunshine…”

“We could take it slow?” You asked.

“Of course,” he agreed readily, pushing those few inches closer to you in eagerness. “Slow and steady, whatever you need.”

“Ok.” You nodded.

“Ok?”

“I like you, John,” you admitted almost shyly, smiling up at him. “I want to try.”

In the next breath he ducked close to kiss you again.

You were pressed against the damp, grainy wall of the little alcove as he greedily slipped a hand beneath your shirt and hungrily kissed you, not stopping for a breath or a gasp now that you’d given the go ahead.

“W-what— happened t-to,” you gasped as he filled your space and every thought. The patter of the rain going unheard as his shaky breaths filled your ears and echoed torturously. “Take— taking it s-slow?”

He sucked on your lip before pulling back and panting, swapping breaths with you. “I’m not down on one knee, am I?” He asked as though you were being obtuse.

You snorted, eyes wide in disbelief. But you didn’t push him away, instead your grip kept him close.

He dipped in for another peck and you cupped his bearded cheeks.

“My house isn’t far from here,” you suggested softly. Testing the waters.

In a flash John was dragging you out of the alcove and down the street with you laughing as you splashed through the puddles to keep up with his determined pace.

“Wrong way, John,” you laughed and tugged at his arm, directing him the to follow you and head the other way towards your house. He crowded against your back, slightly off to the side, and you felt butterflies erupt at the sound of his low chuckle as your steps overlapped and you tripped each other in eagerness.

——

Once you were safely inside your home, it didn’t take long for you to get naked and climb on the bed. You dragged John along with you, clad still in his boxers.

He hovered over you as you laid back flat, his broad palms running from your ribs to your flank soothingly as he settled between your thick thighs.

His eyes were all black, the usual greyblue just a thin strip around the edges as he took you in in all your glory.

The need to make you keen and cream on his fingers was obvious by his hungry expression and the flexing of his hold on your softest parts.

“Been wanting this for too long, Sunshine,” he whispered. “Longer than you know.”

“Think I can guess,” you gasped as he lowered himself down and kissed your stomach, making sure to cover each curve and roll as he journeyed up, keeping his warm palms cupped and dragging up your sides as he kissed between your breasts. Your knees squeezed him at the ribs when he palmed one of your tits, using the light hold to lick a broad stripe over the sensitive nipple. He went back to kissing higher, trailing up along your stretched neck and biting teasingly at your earlobe before coming face to face.

“Any preferences?” Fingers, tongue, toys.

“I’d prefer to cum sooner than later,” you said cheekily, basking in his eye roll.

“Yes, ma’am,” he huffed good naturedly. “I’ll do my best.”

He leant down and kissed you, plunging and messy, not like the dry brush of lips in the rain or the rushed eager swaps of spit and squished smiles on the way home and into your bedroom. You brushed your hands over his furry chest and trembled pleasantly, raking your fingers through and sighing at the strength usually hidden beneath layers of baggy and comfortable clothing.

“John,” you sighed and he shuffled his way down back between your legs.

“Just lay back and relax,” he ordered before trailing his nose through your bush, huffing in an opened-mouthed breath with a pleased hum.

“Need a map?” You joked breathily, breath hitching when he huffed an amused breath at your opening, pressing a light kiss there afterwards. His thumb gently spread your vulva and he gave a gentle kitten lick. Using the building wetness he found he trailed his thumb lower to your arsehole and kept it there with little pressure.

“Nah, this is your clit, right?” he asked teasingly. You snorted, but felt your pussy clench and your muscles tense when he added a bit of pressure.

“John—“

“Relax,” he said again. He moved his attention and his hand back up. “Don’t need a guided tour, though I appreciate the offer; wouldn’t mind watching you show me what you like another day. But I know what I’m doing, love.”

He licked a stripe up your centre and your eyes fluttered, your hips pushing up into his hands when he puckered his wet lips around your clit and gently suckled. “Yeah, you do,” you whimpered.

He slipped his middle finger inside fluidly, no resistance, and you let out a soft sigh, your hips subtly raising to get him as deep as you could. He changed the angle of his mouth so his strong nose nudged at your bundle of nerves and he could mouth at your plush wet opening instead. He licked around his finger, adding to the sticky mess as you practically sucked him in.

He could tell by the flutters of your cunt that you were enjoying yourself, the pinch of your brow only adding to his confirmation when he looked up, but you were so quiet.

“Y’can be loud for me, Sunshine,” he said, curling his finger and grinning cheshire-cat-wide when your jaw dropped at the feeling. “Don’t be shy.”

“Give me reason to,” you said with a cut off gasp. “W-work for it.”

He felt heat rush to his core, fattening his already throbbing cock.

As you wish.

He hooked one trembling thigh over his meaty shoulder and focused back on the heat between your legs; like sticky syrup, slippery between the pads of his fingers as he dipped a second finger in beside the first.

He gave you a moment to clench around the thicker intrusion with closed eyes before setting a quicker, less forgiving pace than before. You let out a surprised grunt, your hand flying down to grip his hair as he sealed his lips to your clit with a wagging tongue.

“Fuck.”

His left hand moved to keep your hips still, strapped across your soft tummy like a seatbelt, his palm a firm pressure in the soft pudge below your bellybutton.

He broke the seal of his mouth to heave in a panting breath and nibbled at the soft skin of your thigh beside his head to catch his breath while his fingers continued to pull sweet noises from you.

You whimpered softly, dropping your hands to the mattress and clinging tight to the sheets and felt your cheeks heat up when John chuckled.

“Can’t tell what I prefer hearing,” he said and paused his fingers deep inside of you, spreading them to get a little look at the desperate cling of you around his long digits. Your creamy arousal slid down the back of his hairy knuckles and he revelled in the light squelch as you wriggled in his hold, urging his fingers deeper inside. “Your sweet cunt or your careful moans.”

“Please, John,” you asked. Pleaded. “I’m close.”

He slipped his fingers free of your tight clutch and shushed you with a smile when you whined. Licking his pruny fingers clean, he groaned at the taste.

“I’ll get you there, Sunshine, don’t worry.”

He left a wet smack of a kiss on your thigh before ducking back down and licking deep and insatiable into your needy cunt, his fingers focused on your sensitive clit instead, rubbing almost too hard and too fast as your hips pushed your cunt further into his mouth. His arm kept you locked close and unable to shift away, not that you wanted it to end, but the sudden onslaught of hyper-focused attention was a lot after his teasing and after so long without a partner. Your hand had made its way to the back of his head once more, cupping gently, but urging him forward with a steel determination. He wasn’t allowed back up for air until you’d cum.

He pinched your clit and you shrieked at the nip of pain beneath the pleasure, feeling yourself tumble over the edge as he huffed and grunted into your pussy like a man starved.

John held you close by the thighs with both hands as you arched and clenched on his tongue; slobbering and groaning against your tender vulva as you cried out. He gave your thigh one light but sharp slap as you flooded his senses; sweaty and salty, the taste and scent of you.

You collapsed back with a breathy little, hnngh, and let your fingers scratch lazily through his hair where he’d rested his face in the groove of your groin.

He hummed and dragged himself further up your body before slumping over you, kissing the taste of you into the back of your mouth, ingraining it into your tongue, gums and teeth as you whined and writhed beneath him.

“Jesus fucking christ,” you laughed tiredly into his mouth. “Gimme a chance.”

He smiled and ground himself against your hip. “Can’t help it, y’make me feel like a teenager.”

Your nose scrunched and he huffed a laugh. “A’right, won’t make that comparison again.”

You pecked his lips in thanks and slipped your hand down between you, gathering a glob of your own arousal between your fingers. Thoroughly lubed, you pushed your hand under the band of his boxers and rubbed the collected juices over his cock and watched his brow pinch in pleasure.

It was your turn to tease.

You leant up and kissed him open mouthed and slow, the tease of tongue against his lips as he humped against your hand, moans mingling in breaths shared.

You moved your hand lower, went to slip in a finger but he gripped your wrist tightly. You looked up with wide eyes, hand falling loose in his grip where it had stopped you in your tracks.

“No, not like that. I don’t— I don’t like—“

“That’s ok,” you interrupted his stuttering explanation, watching walls build up before your eyes that you were determined not to let solidify. He didn’t need them around you. “We can just keep doing it like before,” you offered easily with a smile and lingering kiss to his fuzzy cheek. “Whatever you want.”

John guided your hand back up hesitantly, watching you as though waiting for the other shoe to drop. He kept your fingers hovering over his cock once more and you pushed forward to rub from tip to root and back up again.

“Yeah?” You asked and watched as his shoulders relaxed again. He moved his arm to lean back on his elbow by your head and you smiled, satisfied with the show of trust. “Yeah, ok.”

You pushed against the spot just below the head of his cock, trapping it against his pubic mound and were gratified as he groaned low, like the sound was forcibly pulled out of him as he thrusted roughly against your fingers. John ducked his head and kissed you, missing the mark in his desperation and licking against the corner of your mouth instead.

You nudged your face up slightly and let him moan against your lips, quickly falling into the distraction of getting him dripping and close; pulling out all your tricks and feeling yourself get worked up in return whenever you felt him throb and pulse in your hand, his thick, hairy thighs shifting either side of yours.

He pulled back and you paused your ministrations immediately, worried you’d done something wrong again, but John hurriedly tugged his boxers down and off, kicking them away from the bed and diving back towards you with a ravenous kiss.

Rolling onto his back, John tugged you into his lap so you were straddling him and for the first time in his presence a burst of hesitance connected to your weight bloomed in your chest.

You lifted up on your knees slightly to relieve some of your weight from his hips.

“Oh, John I don’t know—“

“Come ‘ere, Sunshine,” he pulled your hips back down and urged you to ride him, moving with his own frotting hips as your vulva spread to soak around his cock.

With each grind, the head nudged slightly from its foreskin and kissed your clit perfect as you tilted back. You huffed a weak moan as he slipped through your folds and the schlickschlickschlick sounds of your combined arousal mingling and frothing between your thighs had you panting and moving quicker.

Once you found your pace, one hand balanced back on his hairy thigh and the other rubbing at your clit furiously, he lifted his hands from the fat of your hips and stomach up to thumb at your nipples.

You noticed how he moaned and tensed when you slipped heavily over his sensitive tip and grinned a little meanly as you focused a careful swivel of your hips to catch your slick centre on it. You clenched and gushed over his throbbing tip as he whined, gripping you tightly to try and pull you lower.

“Close?” You asked with a breathy giggle, feeling your own legs shake with the oncoming orgasm.

You traced gentle fingers over his faded top scars beneath his thick thatch of chest hair as he groaned and leant down to kiss him. It didn’t take much longer for you both to cum, both worked up and the constant, teasing brushes at your cores were enough to gradually tip you over the edge.

His hand in your hair kept your mouths attached as you panted hot and wet, and when you broke free to the side his beard was scratchy against your nose and cheek as you shuddered on top of him.

“John, fuck.”

“Just like that, just like that,” he thrusted up in jerky little motions before stilling.

You flopped to the side a moment later, less conscious of your weight but wanting to be comfortable, and he gathered you close immediately. He tucked you under his chin with a grunt, slipping a leg over yours.

“I’m not letting you out of this bed for a week,” he groaned sleepily. You hummed happily, exhausted. He let you drift off before whispering in your ear. “Sorry this isn’t slow, Sunshine, but I won’t be going back to being friends now.”

You grinned and nuzzled closer.

“I think we should go visit my home town next, only fair you meet my crazy family too, yeah?”

John closed his eyes happily and nodded. “Looking forward to it,” he said. “Though my rates are a little higher than £100.”

You pinched his thigh and laughed when he tried to squirm away with a hiss.

You kissed his neck chastely and tightened your arm around his waist, nodding off as you felt him trail a hand back and forth over your naked back.

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Out of Office by A.H. Cunningham

Rating: 4.25/5 Heat Level: 3.75/5 Publication Date: April 23rd

Premise:

Genevieve is a high-powered hospitality executive intent on getting a promotion. Before she does, she decides to throw caution to the wind and embark on a vacation fling with Adrián, her driver in Panama. Two weeks later, neither of them are ready to end what they have.

My review:

This is a sensual, stunningly emotional read that touches on so many realistic adult issues while never sacrificing the romance. Genevieve and Adrián are in their thirties; Genevieve is a consummate career woman and you really understand where her drive to succeed comes from. Adrián on the other hand suffered from burnout some years prior and is now focusing on his family and their small hotel in Panama. Gen is endearingly uptight and type-A (her alternate persona is "Hot Girl Gen which... is so real of her), Adrián is super smooth and super laid-back, and they're technically in opposite places life-wise, so how do they make this work?

The answer is a lot of communication, but let me preface this by saying this doesn't make the book boring or *too real*. Instead, what you do get is two people who are instantly attracted to each other (and the chemistry is THERE right off the bat, and it's honestly kind of insane), but they need to make some tough choices when it comes to sustaining their relationship— What do they compromise on? What do they sacrifice? And this becomes even more relevant when their personal and professional lives collide and Genevieve's ability to do her job hinges on her successfully headhunting Adrián. As a woman of color, I really appreciated the nuanced way the author handled Gen's career, as well as a host of other topics like Adrián's bisexuality, the fact that Adrián isn't traditionally as "successful" as Gen career-wise (something you still don't see in a lot of romance novels), and Genevieve and Adrián's drive to revitalize small communities like Adrián's rather then outright gentrify them.

Also, the way A.H. Cunningham described the setting in places like Aguimar in Panama? Gorgeous. And love and care with which she wrote Afro-Panamanian culture really comes across.

The sex:

My big takeaway here is that the closer Gen and Adrian grew, the hotter the sex acts got. The initial sex scenes very sensual and more focused on building this emotional connection between them, and making them realize they were irreplaceable in each others' lives despite this ostensibly being a vacation fling. But once they found some semblance of permanence with one another, I feel like all bets were off. I loved how toys, masturbation, and video sex were incorporated into the story later (which makes sense since a part of their relationship is long-distance!), and Adrián had a strong "let me take care of you" vibe during sex which was never patronizing, but very hot. Also, Gen does, in fact, rim him during a blowjob, something I pleasantly surprised by.

Overall:

This is the second Harlequin Afterglow book I'm reviewing after The Boyfriend Subscription, and I've really enjoyed both of them. They've both been far more diverse than most of the contemporary romances I'm seeing out there, they're romantic, they have great sex scenes. I'd strongly recommend Out Of Office to anyone looking for a grown-up sexy kinda read.

Thank you to Harlequin and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

When British writers come up with an American character’s dialogue and give them the most painfully British things to say with their American accent and inflection and it makes the actor come off as stiff. :P

[viscountessevie]

The Boyfriend Subscription [ARC Review]

Release Date: 26th March 2024 Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Spice Level: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

My Review:

Content Warning: Off-screen sexual assault and violence

The Boyfriend Subscription by Steven Salvatore is a contemporary queer retelling of Pretty Woman (1991) that follows the love story between Cole Vivien and Teddy Hughes. Cole is the CEO of a queer sex working app called VERSTL from LA who is in New York for an event to promote his company and collaborate with a potential investor. On the other hand, Teddy is a botanist and author who had made his home in New York in the last few years until his marriage ended and his plant business went down with it.

Both men find themselves running from their pasts, they find solace in a local New York bar and cross paths. After a fun evening out, Cole propositions Teddy to be his fake boyfriend for the week to impress the investor at a business meeting and his family at a wedding.

The Catch? Cole Vivien doesn’t kiss or fall in love. Will the sparks flying between them be enough for Cole to break his lifelong rules for Teddy?

~~~

I would like to firstly say: I LOVED this book! This is really brilliant as far as modern retellings of a beloved classic film goes. Steven had wonderfully adapted this book to follow the movie’s beats to keep the heart of Pretty Woman while refreshing the story to reflect our contemporary times. Teddy and Cole feel like their own characters while sharing similarities to their film counterparts. I would say the same for the plot, it feels like their very own love story.

Speaking of our characters, I liked how Steven had mixed and matched traits, backstories and personalities of both Vivien and Edward to instill into Cole and Teddy. You can’t really pinpoint who is supposed to be Vivien or Edward which makes them stand on their own as original characters.

Cole Vivien truly felt like the love child of Vivien and Edward. He felt like he embodied most traits from the original film’s couple. From sharing Vivien’s name, No Kissing rule and line of work while holding Edward’s CEO position and inheriting his Daddy Issues. On the other hand, while Teddy shared Edward’s name, was the hired ‘escort’ in the position and was given his own version of Kit. I really liked the original touch to Teddy by making him a botanist and author. These two also felt very real and new. Steven giving them little idiosyncrasies like Cole’s obsession with crystals and using them to cope and Teddy’s botany metaphors breathed life into them.

Of course, every good book is supported not just by their main characters but strong secondary characters too. As mentioned, we have a new version of Kit who is just the coolest Black lesbian a part of a triad I have ever read! She is the best friend anyone can ask for. Jason is…. Jason. Not to give anything away, you just have to read how everything plays out with Cole’s best friend. He was definitely well suited for the role he was given. I also loved Mallory, Cole’s sister. She was a new addition just for the retelling and she fit right in!

Onto the plot, Steven Salvatore has crafted a very well fleshed out version of Pretty Woman. The book format allowed them to have more depth and nuance than the original film and characters. The conflict and stakes in this story also felt much higher than the film. My main two complaint with this near perfect book is that 1) I wished it was longer. I could have read about Cole and Teddy forever. 2) As per the warning, I hoped for a better conclusion for the sexual assault and for the perpetrator to face actual consequences. I think a longer book could have covered this while giving us more time with Teddy and Cole.

Other than that, this was a wonderful book that has made me a new fan of Steven Salvatore. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves classic romcoms and of course the fellow queer people in our community, this one felt so true and relatable for us. Happy reading to everyone!

Thank you to Steven Salvatore, Afterglow Books by Harlequin Romance and Netgalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[inbetweenpagesandink]

Afterglow by Emily Antoinette

A Spicy Sapphic Monster Romance

Blurb:

A woman rediscovering herself…

After my husband left, all I wanted was to find myself again. Turns out that’s a lot easier said than done when my chronic pain has me canceling plans and everything I try reminds me of my inadequacies.

Things only get worse when my attempt at exploring submission is a total disaster. But hope comes in the form of my stoic, stunning vampire friend, Blair. She offers to teach me, giving me a space to safely explore a side of myself I’ve kept locked away.

It’s meant to be platonic. Just one friend helping another. So then why can’t I stop imagining what it would be like to take things further?A vampire losing control…

I’ve spent the past ten years building a life where I’m in control. I swore I’d never go back to being the pathetic, emotional girl I was before I was turned.

Then Grace showed up.

I knew from the moment we met she’d be a problem. My monster craves her in a way that terrifies me, and her humor and beauty pierce through the cracks in my carefully crafted, cold facade. Yet keeping my distance would ruin one of the few friendships I have.

How do I shore up the crumbling barriers around my heart before I end up more broken and alone than I was the night I became a vampire?

Afterglow is a spicy, slow burn sapphic romance featuring a jaded, lonely vampire FMC and a bubbly, anxious human FMC. Afterglow is Book 2 in the Monsters of Moonvale series, however, it can be read as a standalone. Review: Okay, so I love Emily Antoinette. I've read a few other books by her and I have adored every single one. These are, I would argue, a sort of cozy romance because it gives me all the warm fuzzies. Also, you don't necessarily have "life threatening" conflicts to drive the story. Some of them, yes, but not all of them and Afterglow is absolute a primarily character driven plot. Grace is painfully relatable, to the point where I had to stop and have a serious talk with my reflection a time or two through out the novel. She struggles severely with self doubt and self love, and has clearly struggled hard with mental abuse that has left scars. I also love the role that BDSM plays in the story, especially as someone who often struggles with their own personal control issues- Seeing it translate in to intimate relationships was rather cathartic. And validating. All in all, I adored this novel and would absolutely recommend it to anyone who might be after something sweet, spicy, and full of sapphic love.

[daizine2008]

AFTER GLOW

Phil stamper ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[back2bluesidex]

Girl crush and afterglow both are amazing they made me cry so much 😭 you should take responsibility ma'am

I'm so sorry, anon! 😭 I made you cry! 😭 But thank you so much for giving them a read and liking them enough to send an ask! 💜💜

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Love Game 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your fiance suggests incorporating roleplay in the bedroom to keep the spark alive, but playing pretend turns out to be all too real.

Characters: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen

Note: another surprise double day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You wake up alone. The night of reverie fogs in your mind. Touching, biting, slapping, choking, fucking... The kinkiness of it all has you tingling again yet you’re raw and sore from the overstimulation. Beneath the afterglow is something else. Doubt. 

You agreed to it. You wanted it just as much as Andy. All you want is to keep him happy and this is what he likes. And you can’t say you didn’t enjoy the thrill of it. It was so unlike anything you’ve done before, especially with him. The whole scene was so out of character. It’s roleplay, it’s supposed to be, and yet it just feels off. 

Again, it’s your first time. It’s going to be new and weird and wild, right? Will there be a next time?  

You roll over, thighs grazing tenderly, and sit up. The cuffs are gone along with all other remnants aside from the tangled sheets and the shell of dried sweat over you. You feel grimy as you look down at your naked body, your lingerie crumpled up at the corner of the mattress. You barely remember when you passed out. It’s all just a blissed out blur. 

You stand and stagger. Oh. Your mouth forms an O as you daintily touch your pelvis. You can feel the stretch still as your walls twitch. He was so rough, so deep inside you. 

As you hobble into the bathroom, surprised by the gingerness in each step, you can’t help the flow of your thoughts. Is this what Andy will want from now on? Why? Were you not enough before? He’s always seemed content. At least with that part of your relationship.

The way he groans when you touch him, the way he begs and whines before he cums. It’s all so wonderful so why now? Why this? 

You heard all his explanations but you just don’t know what to believe. Your innate insecurity can’t help but latch onto the worst suggestions. He wants someone else. He wants someone better. Then why did he ask you to marry him if you’re not what he wants? 

Ugh. You lean on the counter and look your reflection in the face. You blow out through your lips and trail your hand up your stomach. There are bruises all along your torso and chest, your neck, even your thighs, maybe a few on your ass. You didn’t expect to like that sort of intensity so much. 

You push away and limp to the shower. How do you act like nothing’s changed? Like it’s all back to normal. A naughty grin curves your lips. That’s kind of hot. 

You step into the shower and take your time. You’re reluctant to wash away the filth only because you want to go back to the night before. You want to feel that electricity. You remember how peculiar it felt when he had his face between your legs and the way his hands moved so deftly. Why couldn’t he be like that before? 

All those expectations restrain Andy. He must need to pretend to be someone else to let out his inner needs. It helped you too. For the first time last night, you shut your brain off and just felt the moment. 

You bask in the steam but make yourself get out and face the day, letting the night fade behind you. You go through your usual routine, with all the creams and cosmetics Andy bought you. He was always certain to get you the best of the best.  

You never even stepped foot in Sephora before him, but when he took you, he was certain to ask the associate the most important questions. The woman told you about each product and showed you how to use them, doing you up before you left. It took you a while to get a hang of it but now you feel naked without it all. 

You put on a red camisole blouse and a white wrap skirt, along with a silver chain around your neck and your engagement ring in place. As you come downstairs, you can hear Andy’s voice. He’s on the phone as you enter the kitchen. He’s already dressed; a dark blue suit with a light blue shirt and matching tie.  

You round the island to face him and he gives you that look. The one that says I’m busy. You turn and cautiously work at starting the morning right. You flip the kettle on and take the lid off the french press to wait for the boil. You scoop the grounds into the glass and turn to Andy as he wraps up his call. 

He stares at you as he puts the phone screen down. His eyes flick up and down and his cheeks dimples. You smile and step up to the edge of the marble island. 

“Last night was so fun,” you cheep. 

His expression remains stony. Your cheeks loosen and you fix your face. Oh. 

“Last night was last night,” he says. 

“I... yeah, sorry, sir.” 

“Sir?” he challenges. 

“Honey,” you correct yourself. So, it is back to business as usual. You’re disappointed and a bit confused. 

“You slept in,” he checks his watch. 

“I’m sorry, I--” you pause and tilt your head, “it’s Saturday, where--” 

“Emergency,” he says, “not like I want to be spending my weekend working but...” he looks up at the ceiling then decisively traces the room with his oceanic irises, “well, I gotta pay for all this, don’t I?” 

You lower your eyes guiltily, “I can pick up some appointments, hon--” 

“We’ve talked about this.” 

“Erm, I know, but if we need money--” 

“When are you giving notice?” He asks abruptly. 

“They’re short right now, Andy, I can’t just--” 

“Look at me when you talk to me,” he girds, “you know I don’t like it when you act like a child.” 

Your eyes flick up and you pout, “I’m sorry, Andy. I just don’t want to let you down but I can’t let them down either.” 

“You do nails, not rocket science,” he snips. 

You do your best not to flinch. You should be so happy. Everyone at work tells you how jealous they are. You get to work whenever you want without having to worry about rent or expenses. Andy will help you out. He insists on it and when you said yes to the ring, that meant saying yes to his expectations. 

“I’m not putting the wedding off,” he insists, “so you need to make up your mind soon. Sweetie, I don’t have the same time as you.” 

“I’m sorry,” you gulp. 

The kettle clicks as he stares at you. You wait for him to say it’s okay but he doesn’t. You turn and pour the water and place the lid on the press. You meekly glance over your shoulder and face him as you wait for the coffee to steep. 

“You know what I expect. I don’t think it’s a hard ask at all. You take care of the house, I take care of you,” he taps his fingers on his phone case, “simple.” 

The last word is sharp. It says a lot; it’s simple enough for you to understand. You can’t be mad at him. You did promise and you haven’t followed through. 

“I’ll talk to Gina.” 

“Good,” he looks at his watch again, “you can put my coffee in a travel mug. I gotta get my stuff together.” 

“Right, yes, sir—honey,” you correct yourself, “I love you.” 

He stands and his chest rises. He slowly lets out his breath, “love you too.” 

He leaves you with the dulcet, almost flat proclamation. What happened? Was last night bad for him? Did you do something wrong? Maybe you liked it too much? Maybe you didn’t play the role well enough? 

Oh, you don’t know. You love Andy so much and you only want to do what’s right but sometimes it seems like there is no right with him. You look at the clock, a few more minutes and you can pour the coffee. It has to be just perfect, like everything else. Not too weak or strong. Exactly as he prefers. 

💕 

You wile away the time on your own. It used to be that you longed for time off, to catch up on your favourite shows, to do your hobbies, but now, you have too much of it. You watched everything, you’re bored of crocheting and diamond art, and your focus is split into pieces. You’re restless and lost in the large empty house. 

It makes you even more nervous about the future. You thought have a ring, having Andy, having a place to live, would make all a bit more stable. Nope. Now you’re terrified that every day is going to be as lonely and tedious. 

You make yourself sit down with a bridal magazine. There is stuff to be done. You just like to procrastinate. It’s a habit you’ve yet to break since your college days. Those get further and further behind you yet you don’t feel any wiser. 

Another point of envy you don’t quite understand. Marciana at the salon loves talking about the wedding, she has so many questions, and yet you don’t have the answers. She tells you all the time how she can’t wait to get married and do it all. You find it all a bit too much. 

It’s not just flowers and a dress and the ring; it’s catering and music and guests and cutlery and too much! You asked Andy what he liked for wedding colours and he told you he didn’t care. He says it’s a woman’s thing to plan the wedding. 

Gina said her mom helped her with her wedding. Well, you wish you had a mom to ask. The girls at work gave you some suggestions and tried to help but work always comes first. They’re your coworkers, not your friends after all. 

You still haven’t even booked the dress appointment. You don’t have anyone to go with and you feel ridiculous going alone. Andy can’t come, even after you said you don’t care if he sees you. He says it’s tradition. 

So you’re back to square one. You have an aunt who sends you a text now and again but not much else. The more you think of everything you don’t have and never had, the more you wonder how you ended up with Andy. He’s too good for you and you’re not the only one to think so. 

You close the magazine and mope at the pretty model on the front in her veil. You’re not going to look like that. She’s smiling and happy and you’re just stressed. Maybe you could just go to the courthouse. That way you won’t have to stand in front of the empty pews on your side. 

Before you can sink further into doom, the bell rings and you jolt up. Huh? You can’t remember the last time someone stopped by. In the early days, one of the neighbours stopped by to introduce herself and you noticed the other women across the street, watching from a porch. She never came back. You realised after they were trying to find fodder for their gossip. 

You get up, worried it’s another nosy neighbour. The bell rings again at your reluctant pace and you speed up. You peek out the window beside the door and see a man bouncing on the balls of his feet. Maybe it’s a delivery. 

You flip the lock and push down on the lever, inching the door open enough to see through. You give an uneasy smile. The man stills and shoves his hands in his pockets. He looks you up and down and you blink at the striking resemblance. His hair is different, shaved around the sides, longer on top, he wears a mustache instead of a beard, and he sports a short sleeved turtle-neck and cream-coloured pants. Despite all that, he reminds you of Andy. 

“Uh, hello?” You stammer. 

“Hey, darling,” he winks and pulls a hand free, putting it on the doorframe as he leans in, one foot hooked on the other, toe digging into the mat. “Is Andrew around?” 

“Andrew? No,” you answer tentatively. 

“Oh man, I don’t got the wrong place, do I?” He pushes himself straight and reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out his phone and squints, tapping on the screen. 

“No, uh, no Andy’s not home,” you clear your throat, keeping your hand tight on the inner handle. 

“Andy, right. He hates Andrew,” he scoffs, “I was thinking you might be too young so I wasn’t sure,” he snickers and shakes his head, “well, I got a delivery for the old man. Well, he put a name on it...” 

He swipes on his phone and reads out your name. It can’t be a mistake. You feel a little less stressed now. 

“Sure, that’s me,” you confirm. 

“Great, wait one minute,” he holds up a finger. 

You have no other choice but to do just that. He turns and bounces down the steps, jogging back up the walk of the perfectly trimmed lawn and vibrant garden planted inside the white picket. The man goes to a black cube van and opens the back doors. He shuts the door as he hugs a basket in his other arm. 

You watch him dumbly as he returns to you and holds out the basket. You take it, surprised at the gesture. Andy can be sweet but this morning was rough. He seemed to be in a hall of a mood. Even after what you did the last night.  

Maybe that was it? Maybe he freaked himself out. He had gotten pretty carried away. Well, this is as good an apology as you’ve ever got. 

“Old man loves you,” the man purrs with a crooked smirk. His timbre strikes you as familiar, gravelly and gritty, as if you’ve heard it before. It’s almost as if you can feel his breath against your throat. 

You look over the basket at him and smile, “uh, yeah, thanks, er...” 

“Lloyd,” he answers, “I’m an old friend. I owed him a favour.” 

“Well, it’s very sweet of you to bring this by,” you say. 

“Ah, you know, I just do what I’m told,” he drawls. His gaze is close to a leer and makes you want to shiver. 

“Yeah, well, um, thanks again, but I...” you glance over your shoulder. 

“You got a wedding to plan, Mrs. Barber,” he spouts, “you must be a busy lady. Lucky at that.” 

You face him again and wince, “yep...” 

“You make sure you have some of that wine, sweetheart,” he points to the ribbon around the bottle’s neck, “you earned it.” 

“Uh, oh, okay,” you shake your head, “that’s... kind.” 

“And say hello to the old man for me. Remember, Lloyd,” he winks as he backs up, “have a good night, baby girl.” 

He leaves and you stand with the basket, heavy in your arms as the rest of you sinks down too. You have a strange feeling about the unexpected delivery and that man especially. You feel as if you’ve met before. Maybe it’s that he reminds you of Andy. 

Well, no use in overthinking that as well. You won’t complain for a surprise, especially one as nice as this. 

[skzdust]

Contingency

Part 1

Welcome to a new series! This is my first mafia au, so I hope you all like it! It starts off a bit slow but next chapter things will really pick up ;)

Summary: You accept a job from your best friend Seonghwa getting information on Ateez's rival group, SKZ. You decide to get to the organization through one of their members: Lee Minho. You find yourself falling for him, and things get even more complicated when SKZ's resident hacker seems to have his sights set on you as well.

Pairing: Lee Know x I.N x Reader

Includes: Seonghwa being a good friend, coffee shop meetings, Lee Minho being hot

Word count: 1.5k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife, @tsunderelino

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Part 2 | Part 3

Masterlist

-----

“You’re looking for a job right now, yes?” Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, leaning forward on his elbows.

You blinked. “Blunt, but yes.”

“Perfect.” A smile lit up his eyes.

It often did. Seonghwa may have been a member of ruthless criminal organization Ateez, but he was warm and sentimental and kind. Although you supposed you hadn’t seen him at his usual work of interrogations—you doubted his victims got that same side of him.

“What is it?”

“Well… it’s something for us, actually.”

You were confused. “Doesn’t Hongjoong usually keep things internal?”

“That’s…” Seonghwa cleared his throat. “That’s the issue. We can’t send one of our own. I can’t tell you too much, but Hongjoong… he’s planning something, and he wants to know how much information a certain other organization has on us. We can’t risk one of ours getting captured by them.”

“Another organization?” Your eyes widened as you realized who he must mean. “You’ve gotta be kidding. Their screening process is infamously insane. I’ll never get far enough in to get the information you need in time.”

Seonghwa shrugged. “We’re putting the offer out to a few people. You’re not the only bounty hunter we know.”

You held one hand to your chest. “Wow, and here I thought we were best friends.”

“We are!” Seonghwa took your other hand. “Ateez knows other bounty hunters, but you’re Park Seonghwa’s favorite.”

“How sweet.”

He let go of your hand to make a heart between both of his. “Anytime.”

“So… I need to find SKZ’s file on Ateez and deliver it to you? For how much?”

Seonghwa jerked his head, indicating he wanted to say something in your ear, and you leaned in. He whispered the amount, and your eyes went wide.

“Deadass?”

“Deadass.” His eyes twinkled.

“For that money, you can consider them infiltrated already.”

“There you go! That’s the spirit!”

—

You went over your plan in your head for the thousandth time as you waited in the coffee shop. You had no way of knowing exactly when he would show up, so you couldn’t be distracted.

You spotted him as soon as he walked in. Nothing about him explicitly screamed “criminal underworld”, but the way he carried himself, the subtle quality of the leather jacket he wore, the shifting of his eyes across the space as he analyzed for potential threats all told you this man was just like you—dangerous.

You knew Ateez’s papers on your target—at least the ones you’d been granted access to—could only tell you so much, but you reviewed a few pieces of information you’d gleaned from the file as you watched him get in line.

Lee Minho loved coffee; his usual order was an iced americano. He had a fondness for cats. He’d had two girlfriends in the past three years.

Lee Minho had good aim; he could shoot a man in a snowstorm at night with one bullet. He had shot a man in a snowstorm at night with one bullet.

Lee Minho had the highest kill count in SKZ.

You added one to your mental list: Lee Minho was hot.

It was self-indulgent, but it would definitely make your plan easier for you.

You looked back down at your notebook, trying to look busy as he did another glance around the room. You tapped at the binding with the eraser of your pencil, biting the inside of your lip as you pretended to focus intently on something.

As the barista called out, “Minho!”, setting down a cup on the counter, you began to pack up your things. By the time the drink was in his hand, you were standing up, and by the time Minho had made it to the door, you were walking at a brisk pace, staring at your phone intently. So intently, in fact, that you walked right into him.

He reacted in moments, his hand moving to your arm, holding it tightly so you didn’t lose your balance. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m—I’m good, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t—”

“No worries.” He cut you off smoothly. “No harm done.”

“You sure you’re okay?” You looked at his coffee, which he’d held away from his body. “Nothing spilled?”

“Nope. Are you okay? All… good?” His eyes darted up and down your body, and his gaze lingered on your bag for a moment too long. You knew he was likely scanning for weapons, but a piece of you hoped he was checking you out.

“Yes.” You adjusted the bag on your shoulder, and his eyes snapped back to your face. His smile was reserved, but genuine. “I’m sure I’ll see you around if you’re here often, but have a nice day.”

“Yeah, I’m here a lot. Have a good day!” You tried to be peppy. That was your persona right now: y/n l/n. A kind, good person.

He nodded his head in a goodbye, then walked out the door. You followed him out and went off in the opposite direction, satisfied with the interaction.

—

You didn’t want to take the plan slow, but you knew that you’d have to if you wanted to get all the information Ateez had requested. Minho would suspect something if you were overly clingy or moved too fast. So, the next day, you resolved not to talk to him as you set up your laptop and notebook. You’d look up when he passed your table—one you’d selected right next to the part of the bar where customers picked up their drinks—and smile sweetly, and that would be it.

You weren’t counting on Minho looking around as he waited for his americano, seeing you, giving a small smile, and walking over. You hurried to close the more suspicious tabs on your computer, despite the fact that he approached from the opposite direction.

“Hello.” He tilted his head, as if analyzing you. “You’re here again.”

“I am.” You closed the last one and turned your full attention to him. “So are you.”

“I like the coffee here, it’s better than a lot of other places, and I usually need a lot of caffeine.”

You took a sip of your own drink. “It is good. What do you need caffeine for?” It was an obvious question, and you knew the answer, but it was something an uninformed civilian would ask.

He gave a brief laugh before saying, “It’s complicated, but I do business stuff with a bank. I work a lot of late nights. What do you do?”

You fought to keep a laugh of your own off your face. He clearly wasn’t used to giving that lie, and while it would’ve fooled a random person, you knew the truth, which let you monitor his tells.

(Which were shifting his weight between his feet, speaking a little too loudly, and the immediate subject change.)

“Mm.” You said instead, nodding. “That sounds important. I’m in tech stuff. Coding.” You raised your eyebrows. “It’s complicated.”

“Is it?”

“It is.”

You smiled at each other for a moment before the barista called out, “Minho!”, and he went to get his drink. He stopped by your table again.

“My name’s Minho.” He held up his coffee. “If you couldn’t tell from that.”

“I’m y/n.” You tilted your laptop screen down. “Am I gonna see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, just a bit bigger. “Maybe we can sit together.”

Something bubbled in your chest—something real. Your plan had been to start dating Minho as a ruse to get close to SKZ, breaking up with him as soon as you had the information you needed. So you told yourself the feeling was just excitement that your plan was working. It had nothing to do with Minho specifically. You’d feel this way over any plan working.

You knew you were lying to yourself, but you shushed that portion of your brain. You could not catch feelings for Lee Minho.

“I’ll save a seat for you… wait, here.” You ripped a piece of paper off one of your notebook pages and scribbled your name and number.

You knew it was unnecessarily risky to use your real name verbally, let alone write it down with your number, even if it was a burner phone. But no one you worked with or around knew it, and you’d grown to miss hearing it.

You knew it was worth it when Minho mumbled it as he read the paper. “Y/n.”

You smiled. “Yeah, in… in case you want to call me or something.”

He put it in his pocket, his eyes glinting. “Y’know, it’s pretty risky to hand out your name and number to strangers.”

You shrugged. “I don’t hand out my name and number to most strangers.”

He leaned in a few inches. “And what if I’m the dangerous kind?”

You smirked. “Then at least you’re hot.”

He gave a real laugh as he leaned away. “You’re funny, y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

You watched him walk out of the coffee shop, hands in his pockets.

You were glad the plan was working. That was all.

[mysticstronomy]

DOES QUANTUM GRAVITY EXIST??

Blog#389

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024.

Welcome back,

All the fundamental forces of the universe are known to follow the laws of quantum mechanics, save one: gravity. Finding a way to fit gravity into quantum mechanics would bring scientists a giant leap closer to a “theory of everything” that could entirely explain the workings of the cosmos from first principles. A crucial first step in this quest to know whether gravity is quantum is to detect the long-postulated elementary particle of gravity, the graviton.

In search of the graviton, physicists are now turning to experiments involving microscopic superconductors, free-falling crystals and the afterglow of the big bang.

Quantum mechanics suggests everything is made of quanta, or packets of energy, that can behave like both a particle and a wave—for instance, quanta of light are called photons. Detecting gravitons, the hypothetical quanta of gravity, would prove gravity is quantum. The problem is that gravity is extraordinarily weak.

To directly observe the minuscule effects a graviton would have on matter, physicist Freeman Dyson famously noted, a graviton detector would have to be so massive that it collapses on itself to form a black hole.

“One of the issues with theories of quantum gravity is that their predictions are usually nearly impossible to experimentally test,” says quantum physicist Richard Norte of Delft University of Technology in the Netherlands. “This is the main reason why there exist so many competing theories and why we haven’t been successful in understanding how it actually works.”

In 2015, however, theoretical physicist James Quach, now at the University of Adelaide in Australia, suggested a way to detect gravitons by taking advantage of their quantum nature. Quantum mechanics suggests the universe is inherently fuzzy—for instance, one can never absolutely know a particle's position and momentum at the same time. One consequence of this uncertainty is that a vacuum is never completely empty, but instead buzzes with a “quantum foam” of so-called virtual particles that constantly pop in and out of existence.

These ghostly entities may be any kind of quanta, including gravitons.

Decades ago, scientists found that virtual particles can generate detectable forces. For example, the Casimir effect is the attraction or repulsion seen between two mirrors placed close together in vacuum. These reflective surfaces move due to the force generated by virtual photons winking in and out of existence.

Previous research suggested that superconductors might reflect gravitons more strongly than normal matter, so Quach calculated that looking for interactions between two thin superconducting sheets in vacuum could reveal a gravitational Casimir effect. The resulting force could be roughly 10 times stronger than that expected from the standard virtual-photon-based Casimir effect.

Recently, Norte and his colleagues developed a microchip to perform this experiment. This chip held two microscopic aluminum-coated plates that were cooled almost to absolute zero so that they became superconducting. One plate was attached to a movable mirror, and a laser was fired at that mirror. If the plates moved because of a gravitational Casimir effect, the frequency of light reflecting off the mirror would measurably shift. As detailed online July 20 in Physical Review Letters, the scientists failed to see any gravitational Casimir effect.

This null result does not necessarily rule out the existence of gravitons—and thus gravity’s quantum nature. Rather, it may simply mean that gravitons do not interact with superconductors as strongly as prior work estimated, says quantum physicist and Nobel laureate Frank Wilczek of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who did not participate in this study and was unsurprised by its null results. Even so, Quach says, this was a courageous attempt to detect gravitons.”

Originally published on https://www.scientificamerican.com

COMING UP!!

(Saturday, April 6th, 2024)

"HOW DOES A NEUTRON STAR FORM??"

[triviareads]

ARC Review of The Boyfriend Subscription by Steven Salvatore

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 4/5 Publication Date: March 26th

Premise:

A queer Pretty Woman-inspired romance; Divorced and about to lose his beloved plant retail business, Teddy Hughes is faced with no choice but to leave New York City... until he meets Cole Vivien. Cole is the CEO of a gay dating app and needs a fake boyfriend to impress a potential investor and bring to his sister's wedding, and offers the position to Teddy.

My review:

I LOVED the the first meeting between Teddy and Cole; the chemistry was there right off the bat interspersed with these moment of comedy, like when they swap tops on the steps of the Met and Teddy finds himself wearing a harness as he enters a five star hotel (but deals with it in the best way, namely, not giving a fuck and cheerfully making other people uncomfortable).

Teddy (Teddy... Ted... inspired by Edward, perchance? Though he's the Vivian of the story as far as him being hired as a fake boyfriend for a week) is an energetic and endearing hero. Life's dealt him a few hard knocks and I appreciated his moments of vulnerability as much as I enjoyed how upbeat he was. Cole is super smooth and charming but is also pretty anxious and image-conscious, a product of his upbringing and his position as the CEO of a company trying to go public. Cole kind of functions as both the Edward and Vivian of this story, as both the CEO and sex worker, and he's the one with the infamous no-kissing rule.

I love the concept of Cole not only being a CEO and creator of a queer dating/hook-up/OnlyFans-esque app VERSTL (I see what Steven did there), but he's also an extremely popular performer on the platform. Cole publicly calls himself an entrepreneur and a sex worker, which I imagine does a lot in terms of destigmatizing the profession and industry (even if he's in a position of relative privilege). That being said, I'm not sure if I buy his family not knowing that he's a sex worker, especially if his company is about to go public and they're pretty prominent in the business world too. But whatever, it's romanceland; I'm in it for the vibes, not the realism.

So, this book clocks in at about 288 pages, and I started to wish that it was longer as I got to the second half of the book which is centered around Cole's sister's wedding. The plot started to feel pretty rushed: there was parental drama, a reporter outing Cole, Teddy's overprotective friends who Cole thinks might be conning him, a shitty employee, etc. There is sexual assault off-page, but we are barely given any time to contend with that before the main characters abruptly have to leave for the wedding. Ultimately, I think the story wraps up neatly, complete with an effective grovel on Cole's part, but it's the middle bits that could have done with more expansion.

The sex:

The sex was a pretty solid mix of sweet and sexy; there's lots of tender cuddling and heavy-petting and blowjobs. There is one sex scene with some fairly rough sex, which is something Teddy demands but later regrets because he was asking for the internet version of Cole— the fantasy instead of the irl version of him.

My one note was that there were some odd breaks/skips in the sex scenes. For example, there's a scene where Teddy is going down on Cole, but we don't actually see Cole orgasming. Instead, there's a skip and it seems like both Cole and Teddy have gotten each other off and now they're lingering in the afterglow. This happened a couple times.

Overall:

I enjoyed The Boyfriend Subscription; it had all the beats of a romcom starting with a stellar meet-cute and great chemistry between Cole and Teddy that carried throughout the book, even when the plot was a little over the place. This book is a part of a new Harlequin imprint called Afterglow Books, which consists of diverse, romcom-type romances, so I'm looking forward to reading more books in this imprint!

Thank you to Harlequin and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

[feudalconnection]

The Nomination Period for the 3rd Term 2024 Inuyasha Fandom Awards is now CLOSED!!

Hey everyone!

Below the cut you'll find a complete list of all of the Fanart nominations received for this term! You can also find it on Google Docs.

Click here for the complete list of Fanfiction nominations.

Thank you to everyone who participated in this term for taking the time to do so. We hope you enjoyed your experience! If you do not see your nomination, please reach out to us as soon as possible!

We strongly encourage that when you view a work of art or read a fanfiction, please reblog or leave a review to let the creators know how much their work and talent is appreciated!

As a reminder, we are giving 3 weeks time to enjoy all of the creations. The voting period will begin October 6th and end October 20th.

In order to be able to vote, you'll need to register so we can keep it all neat and clear. We will be posting the link to the voting form on the first day of the voting session.

Got a question? Check out our FAQ or send us an ask. You can also message one of the mods directly!

Thank you to everyone who nominated for making this 3rd Term absolutely wonderful, and happy voting!

Best Action/Adventure

"She was a girl, he was a half dog demon 🌹" by @eleuphii

"Moroha's Bravery" by @jess-oui

"Now I will be the one to protect you" by @geda-art

Best Alternate Universe/Reality

"Untitled (Mechanic Inu & Kagome)" by Hullo Yokai (TW)

"A change in art style" by @weeeting

"Unnecessary" by @mayarab

Best Canon Universe

"Untitled" by @redundantz

"InuKag Slow Dance" by Hullo Yokai (TW)

"All grown up" by @istehlurvz

"Robe of the Fire-Rat (newest)" by _taisana_ (TW)

Best Angst

"Now I will be the one to protect you" by @geda-art

"Moroha's Bravery" by @jess-oui

"Untitled" by @rinsilverstar223

"Protect" by @pachworldx-1

"Cycle." by @anisaanisa

Best Dark

"Passion" by @akulols

"Sesshōmaru-punk 2077" by @june-v

"untitled Inuyasha" by @hycopank

"Protect" by @pachworldx-1

Best Humor/Parody

"Nothing like a fake 'stach-off in front of the mirror" by @clearwillow

"ZOOMIIIIES" by Angel_KagomeX (TW)

"Kagome needs a bike upgrade" by @bandsandwristbands

"Leashed" by @valgreys

"zoomies!" by @purpledemonart

"He's cooking" by @melaugo

Best Kiss

"Love is in the Air" by @cam3llia95

"Untitled MirSan" by Angel_KagomeX (TW)

"Spring Fever" by @stardust414

"Inuyasha & Kagome" by @pachworldx-1

"Untitled" by @bakutenshi

"Hungry like a wolf" by @otaku-108

Best Character

"Kikyo from Inuyasha" by @lynndylee

"Untitled (Bandaid)" by Lenbarboza (TW)

"Untitled" by @little1bird

"Sango, beautiful with her scars" by @eliza-faust-diary

Best Duo/Pairing

"Untitled" by @louffeine

"Untitled (Mechanic Inu & Kagome)" by Hulloyokai (TW)

"Kagome needs a bike upgrade" by @bandsandwristbands

"A Rare Moment" by @moonnueart

"A dip to cool off, you and me ❤️" by cricriart (TW)

Best Doujinshi

"MINI COMIC UPDATE!" by @jhdanes

"Claws and Roses" by Lenbarboza (TW)

"April Fools" by @mitsiepitsie-blog

"Inu-Illiterate" by Garish_Wyvern (AO3)

Best Redraw

"I finally finished Inuyasha 😭💕" by @girls-with-boys-names

"Honesty with Consequences" by _taisana_ (TW)

"I'm a Diva" by @julytheartist

"ZOOMIES" by Angel_KagomeX (TW)

Best NSFW

"Sex at the Well" by @brain-rot-hour

"tiempo a solas" by @lucky-chan34dl

"Morning Routines" by @the-lone-huntress

Best InuKag Romance

"{Born to Meet Me}" by @artblogofanekophile

"Stardust Birthday" by @clearwillow

"InuKag Slow Dance" by Hulloyokai (TW)

"Untitled" by @moonnueart

"Inspired by ETERU" by @geda-art

Best MirSan Romance

"Untitled" by @kalcia

"Untitled MirSan" by Angel_KagomeX (TW)

Best Romance

"A Rare Moment" by @moonnueart

"Nothing like a fake 'stach-off in front of the mirror" by @clearwillow

"Untitled InuParents" by @brain-rot-hour

"Afterglow" by @stardust414

"Mistakes Made at Midnight" by @heavenin--hell

"Unnecessary" by @mayarab

Best Group Depiction

"Untitled" by @redundantz

"Honesty with Consequences" by _taisana_ (TW)

"SessKag Festival 2024" by @julytheartist

"Izayoi meets Kagome and Moroha" by @jess-oui

"Family Portrait" by @mayarab

"Sixteenth Night" by @travelingneuritis

Best Improved Artist

"Robe of the Fire-Rat" by _taisana_ (TW)

"11 years later" by @rin-afananditshows

Best Overall

"Stardust Birthday" by @clearwillow

"Untitled" by @kalcia

"Untitled (Bandaid)" by LenBarboza (TW)

"SessKag Festival 2024" by @julytheartist

"Inuyasha & Kagome" by @pachworldx-1

"Just a piece of My otp 😫🌹🌹" by @wisejazz

[belladonnadawn]

Afterglow

“Why'd I have to break what I love so much? It's on your face, don't walk away.”

Kayson x Reader

Part two of “I Don’t Smoke”

Four days, you counted. Four days without reading his messages, listening to his voice, and having his affection. With those days, every part of you yearns for him. 

You understood why you haven’t talked after what happened. Whenever you look back, you were faced with guilt and shame for inflicting pain on him. His face, his voice, and his expression filled with ache continues to haunt you. You wish you could take the words back and speak to him kindly instead, but what is done is done; all you can do is face the music.

Breezing through your to-do lists and reviewing the topics, you were able to finish

everything with plenty of time to spare. It wasn’t a surprise, knowing how studious and perfectionist you are. But now that you have time to take a break, you don't have the guts to relax; especially when you pushed away the person that you wanted to spend time with.

During those, you tried to plan your apology. Writing it on a paper, practicing on the mirror, and reciting it alone; you were desperate to say the least. You already broke his heart by pouring your frustrations at him, the last thing that you wanted was fucking things up further by giving him a half-assed apology. After what happened, Kayson deserves better, so you’ll do anything to be that.

Monday came and so is your opportunity to patch things up. Having a schedule with Mr. Taylor as his student assistant the same day he has practice gives you a chance to talk to him. You weren't confident on how things may unfold, but you held on to that hope that the probability will be in your favor.

Sitting on the bleachers, you watched them on the sideline as the team practiced. You wanted to admire how they improved, but all you could focus on was Kayson– who hasn't glanced at you since you came. Your heart broke a little but you expected it. The tension between you two was still palpable, you were anxious if it’s all in your head or he could feel it too. Your eyes fixated at him, filled with longing and guilt

“[name], I need you to run some papers for the student development office. Tell them that they need to sign the copy of approval and give me a soft and hard copy.” Mr. Taylor, handed you an envelope. You immediately nodded, though upset you won’t be able to watch Kayson's practice and wait for him, you just assured yourself that you’ll be quick.

With all your might, you ran back towards the court. After long lines at the office due to their preparations for the finals, you took more time than expected. As you finally reached the court, you were disappointed as you were met with silence. The place was now empty, absent of players and their belongings. 

A sigh escaped your lips as you dragged yourself towards Mr. Taylor’s office. “Sir, this is the hard copy, they said that they’ll just email you the other one.” He accepted the envelope with a nod. You looked around his office, “I can see that the court was empty, Sir.” You commented, wondering where they’ve been– where Kayson has been under the guise of small talk.

“Well, we went for a few rounds and I dismissed them. Don’t want them to just focus on volleyball while finals are coming up. Also, thank you for helping me with the paper. I know everyone’s busy and offices are bombarded, but you still managed to do it. Get some rest, you deserve it.” Mr. Taylor smiled at you. You nodded, muttering a small ‘thank you’ before leaving his office.

You were disappointed that you’re not able to reach him, but at the same time you promised yourself to not let this moment pass. So with shaky hands, you messaged him: "Hey, can we meet after class? At the court?" Pressing send, you wished for his response– and you wished it was a ‘yes’.

As you’re walking to your class, your notification rang; it was from him. You were scared to open it– scared of his rejection. So taking a deep breath, you read his message: “Sure, I’ll see you.”  Finally, a sigh of relief escaped your lips. You head down to your class with a smile, at least, for now, there’s hope.

You sat at the bleachers patiently, waiting for his arrival. Millions of thoughts running through your mind: ‘Is he still angry?’ ‘What if there’s no other chance?’ ‘Will he forgive me?’ Taking deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself down from those thoughts. The reminder that his emotions, or yours, was not truly what the person is. Standing up, you paced back and forth, trying to ground yourself. 

“[name]?” You stopped your tracks and turned to him, your heart felt as if it’s beating out of its cage as you faced him.

“Hey,” A small smile plastered on your face as he finally arrived. It’s been days since you last heard him, and listening to him just now seemed surreal. 

The court was empty with just the two of you as you both sat down beside each other, still keeping a small distance. Awkward silence filled the room as both of you did not dare to speak. 

“How have you been?” Kayson broke the silence.

“Just the same.” You answered. You didn’t want to lie. After what happened, you went back to the same old you– the workaholic, perfectionist, overworking you. Schoolworks has been your way to drown all the negative thoughts from your parents and yourself, it was a way for you to take a break from your problems. It was unhealthy, but at least it gets the job done.

“You?”

“You know, doing the same old me.” Kayson answered, giving you a small smile.

You tapped your fingers on the bench, a nervous habit of yours that won't go away anytime soon. "So... uh." You cleared your throat, trying to fill the awkward silence that was becoming too painful to your liking. There's this guilt in your heart facing the man that you struck down when all he wanted was for you to soar. He was your cheerleader– your number one supporter, yet you had treated him with such anger.

"About what happened..." He looked at you and your heart almost leaped out of your chest. May it be out of admiration or nervousness, but one thing's for sure: you truly missed it.

“I’d like to apologize for what I did to you and for what happened. That night I was too frustrated at my work and myself that I took it out on you. It was unprovoked and unnecessary, especially when all you want is for me to take a break. And you’re right–” This was the part you never accounted for. Before this, you have prepared everything, from your stance to tone; but you never anticipated that you’d break in front of him. For someone who prides themselves for being put together, you sure are a mess when it comes to Kayson. 

Looking away, you cleared your throat as you tried to compose yourself. . “I just think there's no excuse for what I did to you.” Your voice cracked as tears began to fall slowly. 

You didn’t dare to look at him once more, fearing that it would break your heart further. For someone who prides themselves for being put together, you sure are a mess in front of him. You can't help it, he brings out a different kind of vulnerability that can only come out around him. God knows what power he has over you.

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop tears from coming. Then you finally looked him in the eyes again, “I’m so sorry, Kayson. It’s my fault. I understand if you’re leaving me after this, but please don’t.” All your efforts concealing your emotions was futile as you completely broke down in front of him. 

Kayson’s eyes were filled with concern as he pulled you close, “Hey, shh…” He gently rubbed your back, his touch was soft and caring, “I won’t leave you, please don’t cry. It hurts me to see you cry.” You nodded, wiping your tears away and pulling from him so you could look at his face.

“I get it, okay? You were stressed and I kept pushing. I was just in the right place at the wrong time.” He gently wiped your tears.

“Still! I shouldn’t have done it. I could’ve been polite, but I wasn’t. I made you cry.” You insisted.

“I-I didn’t cry. I mean– I did, but just almost… you know.” Kayson’s cheeks turn red at the mention of his reaction.

You nodded at his excuse, finally having the courage, you held his hand. “I’m really sorry, Kayson. I promise to be better.” Kayson squeezed your hand in an assuring manner, you smiled gently at his gesture.

“It’s okay. I just worry about you too much sometimes you know.” 

You pulled him in for a hug, nuzzling on his shoulder as you drowned in him. Kayson’s grip on you was tight, burying his face on your shoulder. The days that you longed for each other was dreadful, and the fact that both of you could share a moment like this felt like a dream came true. 

“I missed you.” Kayson spoke gently, voice filled with yearning and love.

“I missed you too.” You gently caressed his cheek. 

“May I… kiss you?” You nodded. He pulled you close, sighing as your lips touched. Hands wrapped around his neck, while his was on your waist. It was passionate, yet tender. The way he felt against your lips was like heaven. Your breath quickened as he pulled you closer, lips moving in a sensual manner. 

Kayson gave your lips a small peck before pulling away. “You really missed me, huh?” He teased.

“I did, I really did.” The heavy weight from your chest faded, it was now filled with warmth knowing that you still have him by your side. No word could describe how much you cherished and appreciated him, but you’ll do anything to convey it. A soft smile was on your face as you held his hand once again, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Pattern banner from Cafekitsune.

[slytherheign]

LOVER: THE TRILOGY | charles leclerc

DESTINATION: Sweet Street | GO BACK TO THE STATION. CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THINGS LOVER (reviews, commentary, updates, etc. about the series)

Y/N left everything behind to venture into the unknown. She falls in love with Charles who seems to have it all.

When outside forces threaten to break their bond, it’s up to them to decide whether to quit or to hold onto each other.

Who will leave and who will stay?

Will they stay in daylight or is the afterglow just another dark night?

PART I: THE ARCHER

PART II: DAYLIGHT

PART III: AFTERGLOW

[⚠︎︎THIS SERIES HAS A RATING OF G OR GENERAL AUDIENCE. EVERYONE MAY PROCEED TO READ.]

Each part has specific warnings written before the start. Please be warned before proceeding to read. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

Moodboards, feedback, memes, tiktoks, commentary, etc. about the series are greatly appreciated. Please use the official series tag and mention me so can see it!

Official series hashtag: lover: the trilogy

EXTRA: THE FINALE COUNTDOWN CELEBRATION.

[lives-in-midgard]

Afterglow

(Musician AU Part 5)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: After Steve made a bad decision he tries to apologize and get you back but can you forgive Steve?

Word Count: 2270

A/N: This is officially the last part of this AU with Steve! I'm sad to post the last part because I really enjoyed writing this AU but who knows maybe we will read about them again. I hope you all enjoyed this series and of course the final part!

I chose Afterglow as the titel of this part because I think that this song from Taylor Swift has a few lyrics that fit very well with it.

Divider made by @firefly-graphics .

Part 4 | Part 5

Masterlist | Musician AU

 It’s been a week since Steve published your song without asking or telling you. You haven’t spoken to him or seen Steve since you yelled at him that night. Steve tried calling and texting you a few times, but you never picked up or looked at his messages. You were so mad at him but also sad because he stole your song. You had known Steve long enough to know that he would never do anything without a good reason, but you needed your time to think about it.

You didn’t want to spend another day alone in your apartment and decided to go to Romanoff’s bar to visit Yelena at work. After the bodyguard Alexei let you in, you went straight to the bar to talk to your friend. Yelena greeted you with a smile and then you talked for a while.

“Have you listened to the song?” Yelena asked.

“No, I…can’t.” You answered. You really haven’t listened to the song yet. Every time it came on the radio, you quickly put on something different. But you saw the fan reviews and saw that the people love The Midnight Rockers’ new song but you couldn’t listen to it, you just can’t.

“You should hear the song Y/N. You really should.”

“You like it?” You nervously asked her.

“It’s so good Y/N, they did such a good job in recording your song.” You talked for a while until you decided to drive home. When you got home you couldn’t stop thinking about what Yelena said. So you sat down on your couch, opened YouTube and clicked on the new Midnight Rockers song. The melody started and you couldn’t believe it. With every lyric they sang, the song got better and better. You could hear drums and a guitar in the background. You knew what part of the song was coming next, and when you heard Steve singing it, a tear ran down your cheek. This lyric means so much to you and you still can’t believe that so many people heard your song. When the song ended, you played it again and then looked through the comments.

“I.love.Steve” commented “OMG this song is so good. I love Steve’s part so much!!”

“Samsgirl” commented “Why does Sam only have one solo part??? But good song though.”

“BuckyBarnesStan” commented “Why is this so good?!”

“Bartonfan” commented “This is such a masterpiece!”

You were smiling, but the last comment remined you of what Steve did. The fans and Yelena were right, the song sounds really good, but that doesn’t mean you can forgive Steve right away, but you also don’t want to lose him again.

You sat there for a while until you heard a knock on your door. You got up and walked to the door. When you opened it, you saw Bucky standing there.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Hey, Buck.”

Bucky came over and tried to convince you to talk to Steve or at least let Steve talk to you. He said how sorry Steve was and that he never wanted to hurt your feelings.

“I’m not sure if I can forgive him so easily.” You said after a while.

“I can totally understand that, but just think about what I said, okay?” Bucky asked and you nodded. You hugged Bucky as a goodbye and then thought about what he said.

It’s been two days since Bucky visited you. And well, he was right, you should listen to what Steve has to say to you, especially if you don’t want to lose him again. You walked around the room, trying to think of an idea what to do.

Should you just call him? Or maybe drive to his apartment? But if he’s not there, what then? Maybe you should text him?

Yeah, that’s a good idea, you thought and clicked on his number, trying to form a good sentence but you immediately deleted everything you wrote. You were just typing your next idea when you suddenly received a message from Yelena.

“Turn on your local radio!”

You were about to ask her why when another message came through.

“Don’t ask why, just do it.”

You chuckled and then did as your best friend said. When you turned the radio on, a song was playing. After a few lyrics you had to smile because that was one of the songs you and Steve used to listen to when you were in high school. The next song came on and again it was one that reminded you of a moment with Steve and you had to smile. The third song that played was the first song that Steve and the band covered in high school and played for you. You looked out the window and then noticed that it was starting to rain and heard the rain splashing against the window. Then another song came on, one by the Midnight Rockers. One that Steve told you is about you.

"For most of you these were just a few random songs, but for Steve from Brooklyn these songs have a special meaning to him and also to someone very close to him. So, here is Steve who has a message for this special girl." You sighed and a slight smile grew on your face. That must be your Steve.

"Hey love. I'm not sure if you’re hearing this now, but if you are, I want you to let you know that I'm so sorry and I regret that I did that. I hope you can forgive me one day. And if you want to talk to me, please just call me."

The message ended and you didn't have to hesitate. You pulled out your phone and dialed Steve's number and it only took a few seconds for Steve to answer.

"Hey, Steve."

"Hey." He softly said.

"I'm so sorry." You both said at the same time and then chuckled.

"You first." You said that again at the same time, making you blush. You stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for Steve to talk.

"I'm so sorry for what I did. Please let me explain it to you."

"Maybe you should come over. It's better to talk about it in person and I‘d like to see you too." You suggested.

"Then you should go to your door because I'm already outside of your apartment." You had to smile, but then you remembered that it was raining outside.

“Steve, it's raining."

"I know, so would you please come down and open the door for me." You opened your apartment door and ran down the stairs. When you got to the front door you could hear that it was raining quite heavily. So you quickly opened the door and saw Steve standing in the purring rain. You just looked at each other and it felt like the time stopped for a moment. Coming back to reality, you grabbed his hand and pulled Steve inside.

"Hey." Steve said and smiled.

"Hey, come on let's go upstairs to my apartment where it's warm." You said and you both walked up the stairs to your apartment. When you reached your apartment, you opened the door and walked inside. You looked at Steve who was standing there completely soaked from the rain.

"Oh, Steve, how about you change into some other clothes and then we can talk?" You suggested and Steve nodded. Steve followed you into your room and watched as you picked out some fresh clothes that he had left there a while ago. As you handed it to him, your hands touched and both smiled at each other. You went into the living room and sat down on the couch while Steve put on some fresh clothes.

After a while Steve entered the room with new clothes. He smiled slightly at you and then sat down next to you. You were looking at each other and silence began to grow. Steve took a deep breath and then decided to tell you everything.

"It all started when I had no inspiration for a new song. Tony, my manager, was getting on my nerves and then when I wrote one and he didn't like it, I remembered your song and how good it is. How much people would like it and how much I love it..." He paused for a moment, considering how to say the following things.

"Then I kind of panicked and took a picture of it, composed the melody to it and showed it to Bucky, Sam and Clint. They all liked it and so did Tony. I know it wasn't right, but in that moment it seemed like my only choice. I'm really sorry. " You were sorry and sad that Steve couldn't talk to you about it.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt?" You asked him and he looked at the floor.

"I'm not sure."

"But I want to do this right. I want to tell it Tony and if it's okay for you then I I’ll announce that it wasn't me who wrote it, but a very talented woman." You reached for his hand and smiled at him.

"Is it okay if I think about it and then tell you?"

"Of course, swe-" Steve held back from saying “sweetheart” because of the argument you had the last time he wanted to say it.

"You can say it, honey." You said, making Steve smile.

"I missed you so much, sweetheart." Steve finally said it again. You placed your head on his shoulder and sat there for a while. You thought about what he said and if he should tell the world that you wrote the song.

After a while you looked up to him, held his cheek and kissed.

"I forgive you, honey. I know you didn't want to hurt me, but I won't forget it anytime soon." Steve sighed but nodded.

"That's okay and I understand that. I'm just glad to have you back."

"Me too." You said, laying your head back on his shoulder.

A week passed and almost everything was back to normal. Steve was back in your life, and you spent a lot of time with Bucky, Sam and Clint. Steve told Mr. Stark, his manager, about the song, your song. You still haven’t decided if you want the world to know, but after thinking about it and talking to Yelena and also Bucky, you’ve decided to tell Steve what you think he should do.

The movie you were watching ended and you laid there cuddling with Steve for a while.

“Stevie?” You looked up after a while.

“Yes, honey.” Steve smiled at you.

“I …I think I want the world to know that I wrote this song.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Okay, then I’ll tell Tony tomorrow. If that’s okay?”

“That’s okay.” Steve smiled at you and then kissed you softly.

When Steve got home from the meeting with Tony, he was really excited and said that his manager wants to meet you. You were nervous, but then agreed to come to a meeting with Steve. The other band members of the Midnight Rockers were also there and gave you comforting smiles.

The meeting started and Tony greeted you and after a while he finally said why he wanted you to come to the meeting.

“As we know, all the fans love your song and so do we. And I was wondering if you have a few more songs?” You got nervous and Steve took your hand and gave you a smile.

“Yeah, I have some more.” You said and Tony nodded.

“They’re all very good too.” Steve suddenly said and Tony nodded again.

“When Steve told me this song wasn’t his or the other members’, I came up with this idea.”

“What if you were the new co-writer of the Midnight Rockers?” He said and you let his words sink in. You as a co-writer that would change so much! But it would be a great chance…people would hear your songs. You would work together with Steve, Bucky, Sam and Clint.

“Of course, you can think about it first.” Tony said.

“No, I don’t think I have to.” You said and Tony nodded, thinking that would be a no.

“That’s okay.”

“Because I would really like to be the new co-writer of the band.” You said, seeing that Steve had a proud smile on his face just like the boys.

You signed a paper and talked about how the band would tell the fans about it. After talking for a while, they all agreed to make a video on Instagram where they say that the new song was written by their new co-writer, who also happens to be Steve’s girlfriend.

From that moment on a lot changed for you and also for the band. You had a press conference with them as their new co-writer. Then you had to quit your job and started writing songs with Steve and sometimes professionally with the others.

There were days when you and Steve would lie on the floor with papers and the guitar, trying to write a new song, or you would go to places where you could both find inspiration. You laughed and enjoyed so many great and funny moments together and were always so happy when you finished a new song. Seeing them record your songs and then sing them in front of an audience made you so happy. Steve is so proud of you and you are proud of him.

You had such great moments together and it was just the start of the beginning.

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