#after this night changed her feathers for like jay feathers or some to represent her mates

[nightly-ruse]

I’m sorry @spottyissleepwalking bc I know ur on a lil hiatus and this is out of nowhere and in top of that unreasonably long but I wrote PolyPO3 thing lol. It was actually just a test writing I started for my own au with Moth after Hawk’s death bc Leafpool leaves to go with Crow which hurts her a ton. But then I just started with a few cats as maybe a poly situation till I realized this is straight up ur au. Um so here sorry if it’s poorly written I’ve never posted any real writing things I’ve done:

A Dream Dappled in Light ; PolyPO3 Story Snippet

It was such a calm day, the air cool and breeze soft. The lulling sounds of the river a song to her ears. And yet a tension built in her chest like she’d scented a fox near camp. As she tilted her head up Mothwing saw the sky, bright but clouds dotted around, waiting for their chance to swoop in and cover the sun’s warm rays. These kind of days were as slippery as a pike. While they could taste great and feed everyone they could also turn and deal devastating damage to anyone around. She used to love days this nice but every sound made her mind turn and heart flutter. A belly of butterflies.

Saying that just made her taste bile. Butterflies could never be beautiful to her eyes. Not after she’d stumbled upon her brot- Hawkfrost’s corpse devoid of life covered in them. She remembered with a shudder running up and watching them all fly away to show her the stake through his chest. Ever since that day at the lake she couldn’t stomach seeing one without envisioning him.

He couldn’t hurt her anymore or anyone else. But it still stung without him. All her memories felt tainted, poison to think about. Moth just willed one day they’d go back to the nostalgia they used to be. But today wasn’t about butterflies or hawks. It was about Leafpool.

It was the dark moon. Where no light could shine through and peak at them. Leafpool told her she’d chose this night because she couldn’t stomach her ancestors watching her break the code in so many ways. Though Moth didn’t really get it she didn’t mess with it. It wasn’t her place to prod someone else for their beliefs just as it wasn’t theirs to ridicule her for not having any. Still she did find some annoyance at having to trek through the pitch black to try and find the blasted island where they’d planned to meet.

The island was rather bright with flickering fireflies across it lighting up the place. What could have been if he’d had his way, making this Riverclan’s. Her home. But that didn’t happen and it was now where all the clans would meet to share news and tales with each other.

Her pelt was dripping so she decided to sit and groom as she waited. It was only a bit before another cat pushed through the thick ferns across from her. A pure white cat with feathery fur and eyes like hail. Snowbird.

The Shadowclan molly came through and quickly met her own eyes, giving a regal nod before flicking her back foot to get a spot of mud off. Between the cats who’d all come close over a shared love for Leafpool Snowbird was her favorite. She was always very open, clear as glass, and knew how tell a snappy joke to keep the conversation smooth. While the two didn’t consider eachother mates they did have a friendly bond over the fact both held the normal Star based beliefs. And having come from outside the clans.

“Hello Mothwing. When did you get here?” The molly asked as she padded closer.

“Oh just a few minutes. It seems we’re both early as usual.” Mothwing said with a small chuckle.

“I don’t know why you ever dry your fur. It looks beautiful with water sparkling off it. Like dew in the early morning grass. Though being damp all day would be quite a pain especially with your long fur.” Snowbird said as she admired her friends golden fur. A bashful thanks was shared before they shared some small talk. Hearing the molly speak always calmed Moth down, her slightly different accent that was smooth as the calm waters was almost a lullaby to listen to. Her voice reminded Mothwing almost of her mothers though far more washed down.

The two were just talking about some feathers they’d found when the final cats pushed through the fern gate where the other three clans crossed through. A beautiful black molly with eyes like perennial blooms and crow feathers in her fluffy mane. “Nightcloud” Mothwing breathed out with a slightly flutter in her chest. While they were all close, she’d always had a small aesthetic crush on the beautiful cat. I mean how could you not? She was both sleek and fluffy with fur so dark it could blend into the night sky and eyes that blossomed from her black pelt. And her attitude definitely led to the great admiration she held for the cat, she was sassy and tough with a rough tongue and fight like a roar in her throat always there to startle those who only saw her as a pretty kitty.

Just behind her was the less favored Crowfeather. While he was quite the perfect Windclan cat with his build and looks he always was incredibly unbearable. No fancy words or much good will he always killed the feel with some ruse words. She never got what Leafpool saw in him, especially not enough to consider being real mates with. Not even friends could seem to bare his rudeness as his few ones were pretty distant from him and always finding excuses to get away from him.

At last the cat of the night pushed through. Immediately setting her heart alive. She was pretty clearly nervous as her eyes looked to the ground instead of at the cats around. It took every ounce of energy in Mothwing not to go up and comfort her but she knew this wasn’t the time. And apparently some pretty big news was to be said tonight to the cats gathered.

At last she started, though as she spoke her paws rubbed her belly softly. “Umm so hi uh all my ma-mates. I just um have some pretty big things to uh share tonight that I can’t wait to say any longer. Um uh I’m, um I’m expecting.” The last words were much quieter but still everyone heard. Mothwing didn’t even think about the cats around her as her eyes widened. Barley noticing as she got up and walked forward to hug her true love. She felt a rumble in her chest as she purred. Visions of little paws trampoline her side, claws clinging on as she ran around with the kits on her back, small fangs chomping on her tail as they grew. It was like she transferred the dreams in her head to Leaf when she looked into her green eyes as the same light she felt inside shined back. Two other cats, Snowbird and Nightcloud came and and cuddled beside them as well as all the cats discussed the idea of kits to share. That was until a rough voice called from a bit behind Mothwing.

“But who gets them? I mean they can’t just be shared equally between four clans that’s a dung lucked dream. You can’t just rotate them across borders or else they’ll never find loyalty with a group.” Crowfeather scoffed as he stared at the clump of cats, the light she felt in her heart dimming like a crushed firefly. “And Leafpool you can’t believe everyone will just agree to such a idea especially as their atleast healer born on one side, not including Mothwing. Unless you want to be scratched down to a heartthrob healer I don’t know if you can even keep them.”

Those last words felt like a scratch to her own cheek and Moth held back from leaping straight at the feather brained tom. The cat beside her didn’t have as much strength as Nightcloud jumped over her and pushed him back a bit. Clear anger in her magenta eyes. “You vulture tongued, fox hearted, half rotted corpse of a cat take that back!” She screeched with rage, like a shadow had come to life to get the cat for being so stupid with his words. And from Crow’s sharp bristling pelt she knew he’d gotten a real shake.

“Night calm down! He’s right. We can’t have the kits be lost without any loyalty and you all could loose so much from this. I know we all want them, atleast most of us-“ she whispered with a hurt look to Crowfeather “But they can’t just live their lives between all of the clans. We need to figure out how to work this out before I start showing and how we’ll explain it.”

The island was silent as they all thought but the quick scratching of claws in the dirt made head turns to the quickly moving white molly. Snowbird was scratching some idea she’d had into the dirt and they all watched with curious eyes. As she sat back and looked down at her work, clear thoughts behind her eye, she looked up at them all. “We don’t know how many will be born or the real consequences of this whole relationship will be but I personally don’t care about any issues unlike some rubbish pelt. But we could rotate the kits across the clans until they themselves choose where they’d most like to be, or if they can’t choose one find a way to have them move between clans. That way no parent is cut from the kits and they have full choice on how this works.”

As she finished the light in all their eyes form before brightened back, almost brighter then before. Hope for them all to have a paw in their first litters setting the whole cats heart ablaze. All for one. Crowfeather still sat back as if his spirit was made of ice. They all rolled their eyes as he opened his mouth to speak once again.

“Your all blind! What mole minded plan this is! Psh and having worries about any consequences isn’t gross or whatever ‘rubbish’ means Snowbird that’s just having ambition unlike the rest of you. Personally I would trade my whole future for some kits between a ton of cats who clearly care about eachother more then they do me.” He said with a icy tone, bringing his paw up to lick at the end to show he isn’t bothered by any comments. While he may not know what rubbish is both her and Snow did and it described him quite well, stinky trash he was.

“Alright Crow you can back out no one minds. The kits don’t ever have to see you as any father and none of us will mention your barley there paw in all of this. Go back to Windclan and cry about how Onestar keeps passing you up for deputy none of us like the sound of a screeching bird anyway.” Mothwing sliced with a look back at Leafpool. While she never saw what the molly ever could see in him she knew now that she definitely lost that love when he said he’d trade their kits for a higher role in the clans. None batted a eye as he puffed up his chest and walked back through the fern gate to go to Windclan. All the cats turning back to eachother to discuss any names or ideas of how to break the news, what clan they’d go to first, if they’ll come by Thunderclan to help with their litter’s birth. Talk of seeing them grow made all the cats giggle and laugh.

Mothwing hated to turn around as she saw the pinpricks of early early dawn. She felt such a push to stay beside her mates side. And she could see the same power struggle in Snow and Nights eyes. Leafpool seemed to be having a hard time pushing herself out of the cuddle pile they’d made for the night around each other. But all the cats had to go back to their clans. With licks on the ears and soft touches of the nose Mothwing turned around to swim back to camp. The whole paddle and trek back thinking of soft bundles beside her many mates bellies, kittens protected by her fur from the cold, teaching them to fish and catch fish or identify herbs. The butterflies in her belly weren’t so vile as she realized they weren’t to make her reminisce on the past but to expect the future and what it could hold. Smiling she pushed into camp as kitten played around her mind.

[cjp-film]

The Blade and the Butterfly PD planning

Pinterest board:

‘Unknown location’

Props:

Fake blood

Lighting:

Dark studio

Fluorescent lights, stark, intense.

Shadows.

Cardinal theatre

Props:

Water Flasks (maybe just a sound effect?) but also for context would be good for them to have them.

Hoodies

General dance items - gym bag, shoes etc.

Costumes:

5 ballet dancer rehearsal outfits - comfy trousers, leotards, tracksuits. Tights with feet hooks - barefoot.

Andre outfit - Baggy black tracksuit, bright red wristband.

Pointe shoes?

Lighting:

Spotlights on the stage?

Maybe fill lighting?

Think what would be most practical for a rehearsal. Would they be practicing the technical side or just the dancing side?

What represents each character. Would Andre be darker and Sonia lighter.

Think how it may contrast/ compliment their clothing.

Colour Pallette:

Greys, whites, blacks.

Cardinal Theatre EXT

Props:

Banner - ‘Birth of the Butterfly - Ballet Performance - CARDINAL THEATRE EDINBURGH doors at 8pm’

Van

Neon shop lights (dependent on location).

Black cloth

Bin and Cat (sound effects?)

Costumes:

Sonia’s Headphones

Figure dressed in all black

Lighting:

Dark - nighttime

Street lights

Colour pallette:

Dark.

Abandoned Nightclub

Props:

Binding fabric

Chair which she is tied to

Graffiti and murals.

Glass of whiskey

Flip phone

Axe

Makeshift throne

Lighter something funky

Fake blood

Tooth GOLD TOOTH

Costumes:

‘K’ tattoos FEATHER TATTOO

Kevin - white blazer (or something distinctive from rest of gang)

Rest of the crew (3 men) dark clothing.

Andre’s wristband

Pointe shoes

Lighting:

Moody, gloomy.

Haze.

Lighting shining through the fabric.

Colour Pallette:

Dark with pops of colour from the walls.

Notes:

Depending on location graffiti may have to change to posters.

Sonia’s face turning red - makeup?

Abandoned Nightclub Ext

Props:

Phone

’GG’ sign on the door

‘Groove Grotto’ sign

Old posters and flyers

Cigarette

Costumes:

Andre - same as before, perhaps a coat.

Lighting:

Flickering light above the sign.

Colour Pallette:

Night time, dark greens and blacks.

Cardinal Theatre - Performance Scene

Costumes:

Bloody pointe shoes

Butterfly outfit

Butterfly makeup

Lighting:

Stage lights

Bright white

Colour pallette:

White, hints of light blue.

Q and A with director/ Producer

After I read the most recent draft of the script I had a few questions for Kushal and Joseph about how they wanted to go forward with production design. We had had a few meetings beforehand but some things had changed or didn’t make sense to me so here I have written what we have cleared up:

Do you want the dancers wearing pointe shoes in the rehearsal scene at the start or to be barefoot? - Normal ballet flats. Like sock shoes.

What kind of lighting are we thinking for the first theatre scenes? - White light, bright dependent on location. Windows.

VAN??? - might need to be removed from script, or sound effect.

Bin and cat - sound effects? - same as above.

Why does Sonia have a flip phone? - The film is set in early 2000s. Something for Kevin to take from her.

What kind of graffiti did you want for the nightclub? - Like it’s been abandoned, perhaps if not graffiti then ripped up posters on the walls. Dependant on location, as we can’t exactly graffiti.

Is the blood on Sonia’s pointe shoes from the fight or from her working too hard? 1.5 litres of blood. - Actress does not want blood on her pointe shoes. (Understandably) Need to remove from script.

Does the actress have her own shoes as I assume she won’t want to get blood on those? - As above.

Did we get rid of the gold tooth? - Gold tooth in script was removed as could be seen as too cliche. I could find one on amazon and we considered this but also we have planned the shots and we would need a close up of it and we don’t have time.

Kevin is written to have a ‘makeshift throne’, I’m not sure if I will have time to source/ make this so is there any possible alternative? - Yes, we can have him sitting on a stool, or on the bar as long as he is clearly higher that the action, watching over it.

It all happens in the same night? So we don’t have to change Andre or Sonia’s costume? - yes.

Have we got cast for the other 4 ballerinas - not yet.

Makeup artist - fake blood? - The makeup artist has a small bit of her own fake blood which we can use for touch ups but we will need to buy 2 litres of fake blood on top of this.

Tied up to a chair? Won’t she be able to move? - this has been changed to her tied up as she sits on the ground.

FP

[batfam-imagines]

Reader’s Choice

So I have a pretty long request list!! If you want to help me choose, just send the number of the request to my Inbox! Just let me know that the number is a “Reader’s Choice”

If you have more than one you’d like to see, put the numbers in the order you’d prefer!!!

If anyone wants to use one of these prompts, please ask first!! Thank you!

Rules: Please only choose a MAX of 3. I will be updating this monthly, and will only accept your choices for 2 day each month. Please only send in your choice numbers during those 2 days! Thank you!!

Send your three votes to my inbox! If you post them as a comment they will not be counted!!!

If I forget to update this, don’t hesitate to remind me on the 1st of every month, but only on the 1st.

Currently Accepting Requests From This List!!

1.    Hi, A! Can you make a Conner x Abused!witch reader please? Where reader is abused by her whole family, because while she is a good person her family aren't? Can you also make the reader fall in love with Conner and the feeling is mutual? By the way, love your imagines.

2.    Can you write something where batsis has a stalker and it starts off cute but gets more dangerous?

3.    Can you write something where Tim gets really hurt while patrolling with Jason and he has to save him. Can you write it with some angst please.

4.    could you please write about Atlantean Batmom, who's maybe Arthur’s sister, and meets Bruce through him? Batmom prefers to not interfere with the league or Atlantis and the kids don't know about her heritage out of fear for their safety until she uses her abilities to prevent a catastrophe or something like that.

5.    Could you do and imagine of Catwoman's accomplish/niece being best friends with Damian and Damian leaves with the teen titans making her sad and jealous. I really love your writing and this would make my week

6.    batsis possessed by the Enchantress

7.    would you do a batsis imagine where she assaulted by one of her close guy friends and couldn't stop it, so she starts withdrawing from her family and friends. she feels weak and doesn't want them to judge her until jason finally gets her to tell him what happened after she tries to kill herself?

8.       Red Hood get thrown through the window of your local Book store and list three good reads for you before he’s up on his feet again guns blazing.

9.   Love your oldest batsis character! Could you do maybe one where is a good singer/musician and she sings them lullaby’s when they are hurt and around the house and in the shower?

10.   May I request a oneshot please, where Jon and Dami befriend a shapeshifter/reader, who's either their age or a year younger, and none of the Justice League (including Bats and Super) know about them. So it's either the Justice League finding out about them or stupid pranks (like identical Damian’s) that they pull on the Justice League?

11.   Hello! I was wondering if you could maybe do a second post to the bat mom killing the joker fic? I would love to see Bruce's and the rest of the family's reaction to that. That would be awesome!

12.   Can I request where Batsis/reader has terrible insomnia, so she only gets probably an hour a sleep every day or something, and she is always up walking around the manor at odd hours of the night. She hides it from the Batfam with makeup and such. And it's basically the Batfam finding out about Batsis's terrible insomnia. Thank you!

13.   hello! i still hope your requests are still open as i wanted to send in something! could you do a Jason Todd imagine where he and the reader have a meet-cute in the library and he develops a huge crush? he talks about her constantly to Roy to the point he gets frustrated and drags him to her, only to find out it's his younger sister (or if you prefer close friend)

14.   Could you do a little sister au where bat!sis wants to join her brothers and father on patrol and follows them around all day in attempt to get them to agree to let her go and eventually Bruce agrees to take her for a few minutes in her own adorable little suit and it's just super fluffy? Sorry this is long and if that's confusing. I love you're writing and thank you so much

15.   Lil Sis Au. w/ reader watches and imitates older sibling when they spar/fight??

16.   I saw requests were open and I was wondering if you could write being a single mom and falling in love with single dad Roy please and thank you

17.   I wish you would write a fic where sick jay is cared for by his loving fam and reader

18.   Hello! Could you possibly do a Batmom! Reader who's like really short. Like shorter than Damian and she has trouble having some of the batboys take her seriously?

19.   So I had a shitty day, maybe a thing where batsis had an anxiety attack, then her biological dad (who is an asshole to her) make her depressed and the batfamily helps her through it

20.   Could you write a wing au with the wings mimicking emotions with Tim Drake please?

21.   For the fantasy au thing with winged people, could I please request Older Damian's SO's feathers falling out from stress and him trying to help her?

22.   I'm sorry if this is a bad request, you can change the aspects of it if you want to: I am a dragon AU (with any fandom or even not fandom related) but reader is a dragon and a knight has to slay the dragon but the knight can't do it... Thus the knight sneaks out every night because become really good friends in the end of it. Anyway before I end this request I would like to say your writing is amazing and I can't wait to read more from you!! Thanks for reading and keep up the fantastic writing!!

23.   Could you please do something with Bruce helping a batdaughter deal with a bad hit of fear toxin? It could be as sweet or angsty as you like, whatever you feel like doing!

24.   Hi!! Can I request an imagine Dick and batsis (reader) are in the same school event/gym class and it's a sparring section and they laugh it all off, and have to deal with elementary level self defense class, maybe fording themselves to lose to dummies and then when they can finally spar each other they go all out? And the class goes crazy loving it? Also:: can you tag @batty4dc

25.   Hiiii I would like to request a fiction with jason, something like the reader can control the four elements and those are represented by the bat-boys (dick-water/ jason-fire / Tim-air / Damian- earth). The reader is obviously more interested in the fire element so jason. I really like something with some fluff but also passionate (like light smut if you do that). U don't know if the request is clear but thank you.

26.   Older Batsis coming home from a rough night on patrol to find one of her brothers sitting on her couch? Whichever brother you prefer!

27.   Can I request Terry McGinnis w/ a telepathic/telekinetic s/o and they flirt a lot during patrol so Bruce always scolds them

28.   Is there any way you can do a part 2 to the Damian Wayne x reader My Mate?

29.   Can request jason flirting with a telepathic/telekinetic reader

30.   Hi! I was wondering if you could do this request for me? I want a Damian x Reader, Please! I was thinking that the plot could be that Damian used the bully the reader because maybe she was deaf or something like that. The bullying gets so bad that the reader switches school, and Damian feels so guilty. Years later, Damian sees the reader once more, and he tries to make amends. Angst at first then maybe something sweet? Thank you! Love your writing!

31.   Batboy of your choice dating a single mom

32.   Can you write an hc were Batmom has a daughter that's in her teens that clings to Batmom and the boys think she's an attention hog they wind up in a fit and she starts crying and Batmom comes in and stops them and they find out she has awake terrors and that's why she's clingy to mom because she's scares so they start helping with her and now she's clingy with all of them. Thank you for your time, bye.

33.   oh hi how about when reader died or get hurt really bad maybe after she get married to jason/Dami *boi you can chose* and she was pregnant if you chose to her to stay alive the baby died if you chose to her to die than both of them is dead :'c sorry but I really need to read something sad #rosegurl🌹

34.   Can you do an imagine on being 16 and being the youngest member of the suicide squad and there all really protective of you and you start to date or something

35.   Ok, how about this. Damian with a neko reader. He would definitely go crazy and want to pet her ears. Please and thank you

36.   How would the JL and Batfam react if they found out that Batmom outsmarted the Joker on her own. Like he kidnaps her because hey Bruce, you're rich af, and instead of crying and praying for rescue she scolds Joker and he's like, wow ok, I see your point. He doesn't immediately become a grade A citizen or something but, you get the gist. Thx love!

37.   "i didn't mean to hurt your feelings" with Tim and jason please?

38.   hey can i get an older! Damián x reader imagine based on fools by lauren aquilina??

39.   Can I request a Tim X Reader? Where Tim meets the reader at a bookshop and they hit it off. Fluffyness please. Bonus if the rest of the Batfam teases Tim about her.

40.   Yes yes do a fix with Ariel and Damian I'm begging you ❤ and I love the prince of the sea, it's so cute to think of Jay as innocent merman

41.   So I was going through your work and found this thing about batsis, and how villains loved her. And now all I can think is batsis having some recital or fucking graduation or something, and half the fucking crowd is there for her. There's villains, anti-hero's, super-heroes. Their all there for her omg.

42.   Oh oh oh can you write Jason being in love with reader who's close friends with all the batboys and she's especially close to dick and Jason gets jealous and upset and super insecure because he thinks she likes dick when in reality she's in love with Jason (you can do the ending anyway you want)

43.  For face the music, how about some cute Connor x reader moments. Like he hears her laugh for the first time(really hard at that) then she's about to walk out her her pajamas (I sleep with an over-sized shirt and my underwear cuz it's hella comfy) And then some bonding time with Conner, Reader, and Talia?

44.  Hey! Can you please do another Nsfw to dick speaking Romanian? I just read the first one and I really really liked it

45.  Hey, could you pleaassee do something with a sick reader?? I've been trying to find one everywhere and can't.

46. Part 2 for New Sons!

[cratersofme-blog]

New Year’s Eve. As 2015 comes to an end, I just want to think about all that’s happened in the year. I want a chance to just reflect on the events moments and memories made. So here it goes. January. Parmjot dies. January 28th. Around 4pm. I seen his dead body laying there in the hospital. Absurd. I use to do his homework for him. My dad took care of him. My dad took him as a son. He left the world. Then at some point I learned how scary death really is when it re visits me with Tanazzo. At least with Parmjot everyone spoke about how he was finally free from his misery. He was living a though life. Tanazzo took everyone by surprise. And it’s those kind of deaths that gets you thinking about how life is too short. How death comes at any time to say hello. My dad also got arrested. And was sent to jail. That was a hard night for all of us. We all panicked. Didn’t know if he was abducted or something or if he was beaten up. As Muslims we suddenly jump to the idea of maybe it was a hate crime. But to find out it was none of those but for the reason of my dad being arrested for a silly mistake. Huda came to visit this summer. We all slept over night in Manhattan which was super cool. Except that our night ended really horribly since Huda and I got into a unnecessary argument. Then I go back to Canada in October. And now again in December. Her grandfather is extremely sick. He’s expected to leave any second. My mom said she’ll go back the second he finds out he passed. Even if that means it’s tomorrow. She’ll hop on another flight or drive down. He too, doesn’t deserve to live like this. He can’t talk. Move. Eat. Drink. Literally nothing. And then I start a new school. The school I’ve always wanted to go. I become a student of John Jay finally. To many that’s not a big deal but for me it was a journey to get here. Hamza and I go through roller coasters. Breaking up to almost breaking up. Going on a break. But realizing that we just might that couple that go through hell and back. And sometimes that can be seen as a good thing but then again I’m smart enough to know when to leave if need be. I messaged Steffie. I got some closure in a sense. She told me things I expected. “I lost my way. I started to get involved in the wrong things. I lost my way. I didn’t know how come back to you. You had all these new friends.” After it all I told her it was never too late to reach out to me. We both, all these years had each other in the back of our minds. But I was the only one who ever tried. But this time, I hope things are different. Planning on meeting her one day before break I over. Wonder how that’ll go considering I haven’t see her in over I think 4 years. And then there’s Alvin. Oh Alvin. The other half of my heart. The other man I love. In love with. His ways. His way of thinking. His persona. His scent and smile. My relationship with him exceeded in a way where I can say, it was all that was missing. I come to John Jay. And 95% of my time is spent with him. It was like high school all over for me. I loved every second of it. Then the day we kissed. I still remember it. So well. Then the day after. Then a week after. Then in our secret spot. Along with 23 nights. Pictures. I’m a girl. One that does have self respect. One that does care for her body. And keeps it secure. When I think of Alvin, and sharing my body with him, it doesn’t seem wrong to me. Seems right. Because I love him. And if I was unsure of this, I would’ve had a lot of regrets. But I have none. One semester is over. Three more to go until we’re done with school. And that scares the life out of me. It’s going by too fast. And at the end of the last semester we have. I literally don’t know how I’ll be. How I’ll react. And I don’t want to think about it either. I’m just going to appreciate what I’m getting now. And live in it. This year Alvin and I have gotten into arguments I thought would never happen lol. I guess it kinda felt like we were in a relationship. I secretly liked it a little. Not that I enjoyed being angry with him or vise versa, it felt like our relationship was real. Because it wasn’t an argument that made us change our opinions about each other. It was always like we argued. It sucked. Let’s make up eventually. But I still love you. If I had argued with someone else like that I probably wouldn’t wanna be too close with them after. With us it’s different. It’s always been different. I told him about Farishta.  And although it’s been hard on him to digest, I’m glad he knows. His birthday and Christmas. This year I tried to give as much I can. Last year it was just a picture frame of a photograph he took that he really liked. Even since then I’ve been a full on supporter of his work. Wanted one of his photographs framed. And it happened to be of himself, of course. He does love to be the subject of his photography. Our Fika spot and the coffee we’ve had together. It was all great. All great memories I’ll hold onto when looking back at 2015. I can finally say I kissed Alvin. Our lips touched. Our tongues touched. He’s felt my body. Seen my body. Felt the inside of my body. I’ve felt him. Maybe 2016 he’ll actually be inside my body. Let’s see. All though. All in all. 2015. Has been a journey. I ended it with getting a tattoo of the moon. What better tattoo to get? The moon. Represents so much in my life. Goes back to my roots. Starts when I was a kid. My obsession. Everyone knew of. Sami learned about it. Steffie learned about it. Matter of fact when I questioned her on the dream she had of josh and I she mentioned how she remembers the Moon and Stars. Alvin and I have such a connection. Wolf and the moon. Couldn’t have been any more happier with my tattoo. Next is my feather tattoo. Which represents a lot. On one direct subject. Then the dots/gaps representing F. Next year. 2016… Please bring greatness. Bring marriage proposals for my sisters. Lord knows how badly my mom is waiting. Make me a woman I want to be. Because I���m not fully there yet. Let there be greatness. And each day I’ll remember to always hope for a better day. Because sometimes that’s all what you’re left with. Hope. It’s been a good year over all. Let’s hope for an even better one.