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iamthebestquality · 1 month ago

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ive been a kpop fan for a hot minute, and back when i got into it, i thought it was gonna be just some passing hyperfixation-a phase. spoiler-it wasn't a phase lol, and being part of kpop fandom changed my life. it broadened my horizons, and, as weird as it may sound, taught me many important lessons about media literacy, critical thinking, and forming my own opinions about a subject after meaningful reflection.

but, i just can't shake off this persistent ick that i've been feeling down to my bones with kpop ever since all the riize drama started to unfold over the past year or so. witnessing the supercilious entitlement of these insipid, and pathetically delusional "fans" has been hard to stomach, but not because this is something new.

this attitude has never been new to kpop, and it's come in different forms that i've see with tvxq, 2pm, exo, bts to name a few. although, there are many more similar examples of people, "fans," who are so strongly attached to a delusion because they have nothing of substance within their lives, or to offer the world, that they forget that the characters of their tepid fantasies are real people who exist, and operate outside of the shockingly strange, make-believe, mental-illness-manifested prison they've housed these idols, and themselves, in. it's beyond parasocial, it's parasitic. these "fans," these attitudes, these sentiments, have always existed in some way, shape, or form. and not just in kpop. it can be found anywhere, and everywhere.

however, those funeral wreaths were deplorable. the act itself was heinous, and cruel. but the people behind it, and their intentions just reeked so strongly of insecurity, i could smell it through the layers of self-preservation, and deep-seated low self-esteem. it's been hard to reckon with the impact those wreathes must have on seunghan, and the gravity of the entire situation, when i can't muster enough energy to care about, or even pity, the existence of those who waste their money, and capacities on these nugatory moral offences, who don't even live in reality.

the most jarring thing about this entire situation is that, as years pass, these "fans" who were once so steadfast, and committed to upholding their fantasies that they disregarded the humanity of another person in the process, slowly but surely, all the albums on their shelves, the posters on their walls, the merch, and other paraphernalia they've collected, find their way into boxes that sit in the back of a closet. they don't know it, but it's the last time they turn on their lightstick before it goes into the same box. the number of concerts, and fanmeetings they attend dwindle because they have other plans now. maybe they have partners, a family, other priorities. their intense, manic love has evolved into nostalgia, and fondness. their life has moved on. their age has afforded them wisdom to look back on their lives, and wonder what the big deal was, while blissfully ignoring their involvement in the matter. they're gonna grow up, live their lives, and detach themselves from the kpop group comprised of living, breathing people that they used as a half-baked coping mechanism to make their menial lives more bearable. these "fans" will grow up, and move on, while seunghan carries the weight of the insecurities that they unfairly projected onto him for longer than they can comfortably make sense of.

this rant is just a projection of how i feel about everything going on in the world, not just kpop, but this ick has been hard to ignore. it's even changed the way kpop sounds to me. all my favourite kpop songs just unpleasantly nag at me, and all im reminded of are rows, and rows of those stupid fucking flowers covering blocks of seoul. and i don't even stan riize lol

i hope these "fans" grow up well, and i hope their lives develop meaning beyond some kpop group. after seeing those wreathes, i don't think i can stomach kpop anymore unless something changes. one thing's for sure, the relationship between riize, and briize is undoubtedly changed, and possibly the relationship between all idols, and their fans, as well.

#riize #briize #sm entertainment #seunghan #kpop

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iamthebestquality · 1 year ago

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