#after i finish the current sketch ill have 6 left to sketch out and then its on to rendering

[suntails]

another series wip. he has to sleep EVERYWHERE

[darkmoonslayer]

Unexpected Normal- Peter Parker Part 5

Summary: Incredibly smart girl Gets Unexpected powers, Turns to peter for help. Meeting some of the avengers. 

Part 4 , Part 6

Thea sets her sketchbook down and starts to eat.

“Oh, Hey guys. Guys this is Thea peters friend, she just found she has powers and is going to be staying here with us.” Tony says to the others

“Thea this is Bucky, and pepper, you have already met Wanda. Bruce went to bed early.” Peter says introducing me to them

“Hello.” Thea says shyly,

“Good to have you” pepper says

“Congratulations” Bucky smiles to thea.

“Thanks.” Thea says as everyone went back to eating.

“So thea how long have you known peter?” Tony asks

“Well we have been friends for 3 years but we have known each other for about 4. I was really shy we had to do a  project in school and he was nosy and saw some of my invention ideas and we bonded over that” Thea explains

“So you like to invent things?” Tony asks

“She does , And she is Incredibly smart like smarter than me. She could probably be as big as you one day mr. stark. Her ideas are astounding.” peter interrupts making Thea blush with the complement.

“Really, well we will have to see some of your work, of course if thats okay with you” Tony looks over to her

“Oh my it would be dream for you to look as some of the ideas i had.” Thea says suddenly getting nervous.

Theas arms start to tingle, seeing the light blue glow Start, she close her eyes and focus. She breathes deep, doing everything that Wanda mentioned earlier. After a minute she feels back to normal so she open her eyes and look down to see the blue is gone.

“Damn thats impressive, It’s only been a couple of hours and you already are getting good at controlling your powers” Wanda complements

“Thanks, Honestly I would be lost with out you and peter so thank you for helping me. It does mean a lot” Thea says looking at tony and Wanda then to peter.

“So what do you work on?” Tony asks taking a bite of pizza.

“Well really anything. I fix computers a game systems mostly for money. But i love inventing when i have enough money. Currently I’m sill working the equations for an idea of mine, but I’m having problems with the sizes. It’s kinda hard in only sketches.” Thea states as she finishes her first pizza,

“well maybe you can come down to the lab sometime we can work on some of it.” tony suggested.

“That would be amazing, It always been a dream to work for you.” Thea says.

“Well if you are as smart as peter says you are there is a good possibility you could hav a future working with me.” Tony says as he finishes his pizza.

“Well I’m going down to the lab for a little before i head to bed. Just ask Friday to show you to your guys room. Your rooms are next to each others. See you all later” Tony says getting up and walking to the elevator.

One by one the others started to file out until it was just Thea and Peter. They sit in a comfortable silence as they finish their food. After they clean up, they get into the elevator

“Friday, show us to our room please” Thea asks

“yes Miss Thea.”

“You can just call me Thea”

“I will call you Thea from now on. I will light the way.” Once the elevator doors open a lights on the ceiling light a pathway. Thea and Peter follow the light through the hallway until it stops.

“Theas’ bedroom is on the right, Peters room is on the left.” Friday says. Thea turns to peter and hug him tightly.

“Thank you for everything Pete” Thea thanks him hugging him tighter.

“It is no problem. I’m glad you trust me enough to let me help you.” peter says as the two let go.

“Okay well ill see you for breakfast?” Thea questions

“Yeah, that would be great. If you need anything I’ll be here.” He says smiling at me before they both head into their rooms.

Once she was in the room she takes a minute, the large room had a bed , dresser, lamps, some basic art work, a small desk with a basic chair and computer. In the center of the room there is a pathetic black trash bag that filled Theas’ whole life in. She grabs the bag and dump everything on the bed. Putting away all her clothes besides a pair of pjs. She sets her books and sketchbooks on the desk. She puts the rest of her stuff away before changing into some pjs and getting into bed. It doesn’t take long until shes falling asleep.

[goffilolo]

Demise of Midoriya Izuku Part 8

God this was a long chapter. I hope you will enjoy it. you can read the full fanfic on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/776826

I’m currently on a christmas break, however i have a very long essay to write so im not sure if ill be able to write/draw any more demise!au stuff.

Izuku was tired.

It was nothing new per se, as for the last month the teenager has become very well acquainted with the feeling of exhaustion as a side effect of his medication. “It’s normal” said Shin during their last appointment “Your brain is still going through an adjustment period, and insomnia is a rather common side effect of a lot of antidepressants”. So yeah, it was all good.

Except it wasn’t.

Given that no one was willing to rid the boy of his sleepless turmoil, Izuku decided to take the matters into his own hands. Because fuck Shin. In the hindsight, all of this was a very bad idea.

It all started during one of his usual conversations with Mrs. Todoroki, only this time they were joined by her daughter Fuyumi. The first observation Izuku made upon her entrance, was that this young woman was almost a splitting image of Mrs. Todoroki, save for the hot red streaks in her hair, undoubtedly inherited from her asshole father. After talking to her for a bit, Izuku was quite pleased to learn that she has not in fact inherited her father’s god tier assholism. Izuku has never met the man, he doesn’t need to, at least not yet.

After brief introductions they have resumed to their previous conversation.

“So how did meeting with piece of shit go?” asked Mrs. Todoroki, her question quickly followed by Fuyumi’s scandalised expression at hearing her mother use such foul language.

“Meh, it was your typical melodrama bullshit. Some shouting and insults were thrown around, well mostly by me, and crying” replied Izuku in a rather nonchalant fashion, completely disregarding Fuyumi’s shock and confusion.

The word got round quickly in this ward, meaning that most of the patients and staff were in on Izuku’s personal drama and so they all came to a silent agreement to refer to Bakugou as ‘piece of shit’ and never call him by his actual name. And so over time Bakugou became the psychiatric ward’s very own Voldemort. But Fuyumi doesn’t know that yet, bless her soul.

“You actually cried?”

“Oh no, not me, piece of shit did. Honestly you should’ve been there, Shin was there for emotional support and kept staring daggers at him, it was hilarious” sneered the boy upon remembering the Bakugou shitshow with some sort of twisted fondness. His enthusiasm was however quickly disrupted by a long, loud yawn coming the boy’s mouth.

“Didn’t get a good night’s sleep?” asked Fuyumi.

“More like a good month’s sleep” snapped Izuku, rubbing his temples as much as the bandage around his head allowed him to. “And that bitch Shin won’t prescribe me anything cause it would clash with my antidepressants” scoffed the boy.

“You know that Dr. Iyashi cares about your wellbeing and wouldn’t want to give you anything with nasty side-effects” said Mrs. Todoroki as she stroked Izuku’s shoulders in a gentle, matherly manner.

“Wait a minute” chimed in Fuyumi “Prescription won’t do, but what about over the counter stuff? There must be some sleep relief that you could take”.

“Oh, really?” said Izuku, with a hint of amusement and sarcasm “What are gonna do? Smuggle some Quil into the hospital for me?”

The determined  smile on Fuyumi’s face told Izuku that indeed, she would. ‘Well then’ thought Izuku ‘This is going to be fun’.

The next day Izuku has found two bottles being dropped onto his lap, while the boy was busy filling up his notebook with sketches of Endeavour being eaten alive by crocodiles. If you looked closely enough you’d also notice that some of them contained an already half eaten Bakugou.

He raised his brow at the bottles, then looked up to see Fuyumi looking very smug.

“I got the Quil” she said, very proud of herself.

“I can see that” replied Izuku, looking back and forth between the two bottles “Why two?” he asked, confusion and curiosity seeping into his voice.

“I forgot whether you needed DayQuil or NyQuil so I got you both!”

Looking at very pleased Fuyumi, Izuku didn’t have it in him to grace the statement with a proper reply that wouldn’t point out the stupidity and irresponsibility of casually getting two substances that are meant to do the exact opposite, which then lead to a train thought of ‘what if you mix them?’.

“Thank you Fuyumi-neesan!”

And thus Izuku was left alone in his hospital room, the notebook long forgotten, staring at the content of the two bottles, as the nerdy part of his brain deciding to wake up and cause drama. ‘If you mix DayQuil and NyQuil, you end up with what, ForeverQuil? Or given that the substances are meant to do the opposite would they cancel each other out and have no effect when consumed simultaneously? No, that doesn’t seem right, it’s more likely that they would disturb a sleeping pattern, but given that mine is already fucked, how would I be able to tell...’

“SHIT, I’m mumbling again!”

So many questions that demand to be answered, a hypothesis that needs a confirmation and a curiosity waiting around the corner, ready to kill the metaphorical cat.

“Ugh, fuck it” said Izuku as he gulped down both substances in one go.

That’s when everything went to shit.

At first he didn’t feel any different. He spent a good portion of time looking out of the window, admiring the weather - it’s almost May so the days were getting brighter, warmer - waiting for something, anything to happen.

Things got a bit blurry after a while. Izuku could feel his BRAIN getting blurry, which he didn’t even know was possible. But apparently losing contact with reality does things to you.

As Izuku slowly regained clarity, the first thing he noticed was the sluggish feeling and the pounding in his head, reminding him of the first time he woke up in this god forsaken loony bin.

The second thing he noticed was the darkness. At first, he thought that one of the nurses has closed the curtains while he was out of it, but no, the curtains were open, and upon closer inspection Izuku came to realisation that it was in fact, night time. Which was strange...to say the least, since it was still sunny just a few seconds ago. ‘Is this some sort of a quirk? Probably not.’ he thought, which meant there was only one option left.

“FUCKIN HELL I TRAVELLED THROUGH TIME!”

His shout was followed by a tired groan, which definitely did not belong to him.

“Dr. Iyashi, he’s at it again!” shouted Mrs. Todoroki.

Wait a minute, Mrs. Todoroki? When did she get here?

Izuku whipped his head to the side, where the woman was sitting in a chair by his bedside, with Shin standing in the doorway, looking down at a clipboard.

“What the-shit did you get in here?” asked Izuku, his brain still sluggish and disoriented about the whole situation.

Shin chooses that moment to walk into the room “Do you remember what happened?” he asked.

“No? I was sitting here and it was day and suddenly it’s night, so obviously it was Quil induced time travel” said Izuku, as his lagging brain allowed for all the ridiculous bullshit to spill out of his mouth.

Shin does not look impressed.

“You absolute, fucking idiot!” shouted the doctor “Why in the world would you mix DayQuil and NyQuil together? Are you completely insane? What did you think would happen?!”

“First of all, if I was sane I wouldn’t even be here. Second of all, who told you about my Quil?” asked the boy, his eyes suddenly focused, full of suspicion.

At that moment Fuyumi poked her head through the entrance and waved at Izuku as she made her way through the room and stood by her mother’s side.

“Sorry, I had to tell him since it’s all my fault you went delirious in the first place” she said, her face portraying nothing but guilt.

“It was very irresponsible of you!” said the doctor, his gaze switching between Izuku and Fuyumi “Not only did you take medication against a doctor’s recommendation, you even roped others into smuggling unauthorised substance into the hospital…”

And Shin went into the ‘ranting dad’ mode. It was a perfect time to zone out.

While the doctor was busy lecturing everyone about the dangers of overdosing and mixing medications, Izuku picked up the discarded notebook in hopes of finishing that sketch of Endeavour being devoured by crocodiles. His drawing skills were improving, that’s for sure. Maybe once he’s finished he’d show it to Mrs. Todoroki.

‘I think she would like that’ thought Izuku.

Except when he opened his notebook on the most recent page, instead of Endeavour massacre, Izuku was met with lines upon lines of text, written in what can only be described as very rushed and frenzied handwriting, which undeniably belonged to Izuku. The pages were also adorned with big bold letters at the top stating ‘ENDEAVOUR THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL’.

‘When did I write that?!’ Izuku was rather astonished as he started to skim through his writing and came to a conclusion that what he was reading was in fact a conspiracy theory. A very detailed one at that.

“Izuku, are you listening?” asked the doctor.

“No” he replied absentmindedly.

But the writing in his notebook and the overall situation left Izuku very confused. The moonlight illuminated parts of the room, a reminder of a mysterious time slip, which apparently was not quil induced time travel. Izuku needed the answers, and he needed them NOW.

“Can anyone tell me what happened?”

His question was met with a long, awkward silence, as the other individuals in the room looked at one another, not knowing what to say.

“Alright…” Mrs. Todoroki broke the silence “...where do we start?”

………………………………………………………………………………

Iyashi Shin was finally having his well deserved lunch break. After starting his shift at 6 am, he felt exhausted and he was barely halfway through. And so Shin planned to have a short nap during his break to recharge. ‘What am I, an old man?’ he thought to himself ‘Probably, at least I’m on a good way to becoming one. Not getting any younger either, I’m turning forty next year.’

‘Ugh, this calls for a mid-life crisis nap’ he thought while lying on the couch in his office, being slowly lulled to sleep by the ticking of the clock.

Suddenly Shin was awakened by an obnoxiously loud laugh coming from the corridor. He was annoyed at having his nap interrupted, but the annoyance was outweighed by sheer curiosity, as one does not get a lot of laughing in this part of the hospital.

The doctor soon  got up and opened the door he was once again met with the obnoxious laugh, only this time louder as it came from a man who was currently walking out of Izuku’s room.

“Haha...it was nice talking to you Midoriya. I’m glad you’re in a good mood” called out the man “I’ll be back tomorrow to check your homework!”

‘Homework? Ah, it must be Izuku’s teacher’ thought Shin with a bit of suspicion as he remembered his patient talking about his homeroom teacher in a … less than friendly manner.

‘So why would the laugh? I thought Izuku hated the guy.’

As the teacher walked away from Izuku’s room he bumped into Shin, who was standing in the middle of the corridor, lost in thought.

“Ah, Dr. Iyashi didn’t see you there!” exclaimed the teacher. He sure was in a good mood, a stark contrast to his usual visits.

“Good afternoon, how was your visit?” asked Shin, trying to squeeze out some details out of the man.

The teacher laughed again trying to get a hold of himself “Oh it was great, I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Whatever meds you put him on, they’re doing god’s work!”

“Really? What did Izuku say?”

“You know Bakugou-kun, right?”

“Of course, the one responsible for the shitstorm that is Izuku’s depression” stated the doctor as a matter of fact.

The teacher stilled his movement, unprepared for the blatant statement. Trying to dissolved the tension, he continued “Yeah, him. Anyways, Midoriya was asking about him and he seemed stuck on on his name so he said…” he stopped for a bit, trying to mimic his student’s voice and speaking manner “ ‘you know the angry, shouty one, what was his name...Fuckugou?’ and I just lost it right there! Buahaha!” sneered the teacher, waiting for Shin to have a similar reaction.

And boy was he not disappointed.

“Fuckugou!” exclaimed Shin “That’s a good one, gotta tell it to the nurses, it will spread like wildfire!”

………………………………………………………………………………

“Fuckugou?” asked Izuku.

“Fuckugou” confirmed Shin.

“That...is funny as hell, but it doesn’t really sound like me.”

“I know, which is why I was concerned. Mind you I still needed my nap, so I asked Mrs. Todoroki to keep an eye on you in the meanwhile” explained the doctor as both him and Izuku turned their heads in the direction of the white haired woman.

………………………………………………………………………………

Mrs. Todoroki was having a good day. And by good she meant boring. In all honesty there’s only so much a person can do in this place before being driven further into insanity. She was currently sitting in the common room in the company of her daughter who has dropped in earlier to give Izuku the sleeping medication they talked about yesterday.

Which is why she was more than a little surprised when Dr. Iyashi approached her, asking to keep an eye on Izuku, who right now should be sleeping like a baby from the medication.

Nevertheless she agreed, as the doctor seemed deeply concerned about the boy who has managed to settle himself nice and cosy in a particular place in her heart; reserved exclusively for her children. ‘Well then’ thought the woman as she came to a realisation ‘Looks like I now have five children.’

Just as Mrs. Todoroki considered brushing off Dr. Iyashi’s concerns, her train of thought was disrupted by a maniacal laugh that belonged to no other than Izuku himself.

The teenager in question wheeled himself into the common room at a speed that should not be achievable for a wheelchair, his hair wilder than usual, eyes wide open, pupils dilated. The boy’s face was devoid of any sanity.

“HOLY SHIT MRS. TODOROKI!” he screamed.

“Are you high?” she asked, full of disbelief at the state the boy was in.

“I got the answers” announced Izuku, completely disregarding the woman’s question.

“What answers?”

“All the answers! To everything! I CAN FEEL THE UNIVERSE EXPANDING IN MY BONES!” shouted Izuku, further disturbing and scaring other occupants of the room.

‘Oh, is this why Dr. Iyashi was concerned? What do I do with him?’

“Right…” said Mrs. Todoroki, hoping to distract the boy for a bit “...why don’t you sit with me and Fuyumi and tell us all the answers? Just remember to keep your voice down” she added in her motherly tone.

Although Izuku seemed quite out of contact with reality, he did as he was told. After wheeling himself next to Fuyumi he whipped out one of his notebooks seemingly out of nowhere and began to speak.

“From the evolutionary standpoint my existence is a liability to human advancement. Every year the number of people born quirkless decreases as our gener are to be replaced with the superior ones of those with quirks. I’m going extinct! Both my parents have quirks, yet I was born without one, I’m an anomaly I SHOULD CEASE TO EXIST!” screeched Izuku as he seemed to be having an existential crisis that was accompanied by what he thought were diagrams from his notebook, which to everyone besides him looked like a bunch of gibberish and nonsense.

“WHY DO I EXIST?” screamed the boy in agony as once again he began to wheel himself at an impossible speed out of the room.

The Todoroki women were left stunned, looking at one another and then back at the spot previously occupied by the insane teenager.

“What did you give him?” asked the mother.

“The Quil”

“What Quil?”

“All the Quil.”

“Go and get Dr. Iyashi. I’ll stay here in case Izuku comes back” she said while rubbing her temples out of frustration.

………………………………………………………………………………

“Oh, fuck, what happened after that?” asked Izuku, no longer in disbelief, but amusement. While he had no recollection of any of this happening he felt like he was listening to a rundown of an episode from ‘it’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’.

He seemed to be the only one enjoying himself though. The adults in the room on the other hand were very much tired of his shit after having to deal with Quil induced Izuku the whole day.

“You wheeled yourself around the ward while screaming ‘I challenged God to a knife fight’. What actually happened was you stole a scalpel from a surgeon, don’t know how, and started stabbing one of the All Might sketches in your notebook” relayed Mrs. Todoroki in the most flat and no-bullshit tone she could manage.

“Haha, yeah that sounds like me!”

“Now then…” announced Shin as he stood up addressing everyone at once“...it’s been a long day for everyone. Mrs. Todoroki please go back to your room for today. Ms. Fuyumi, thank you for everything. I will see you again. Izuku, you little shit, we’re going to have a talk.”

As the two women got up and left the room, Izuku was left alone with his psychiatrist. While he knew that Shin was only concerned about his well being he didn’t look forward to being nagged by the doctor again.

Instead of talking, Shin just ripped of a piece of paper from his clipboard and handed it to Izuku without any explanation.

“Any what is this?” asked Izuku, eyeing the piece of paper suspiciously.

“ A prescription for Ramelteon” says Shin “It’s most commonly used as antidepressant, but it also works as a sleeping drug. It’s also one of very few that does not lead to a dependence. Take this to the dispensary now, they will sort everything out and you will be getting your dose from tomorrow evening onwards.”

“I know I was very reluctant to give you anything besides antidepressants…” he continues “...but I’d rather do this than have you going batshit crazy with whatever alternatives you’re willing to try. Please be careful in the future Izuku, I mean it” he finishes with a warning tone.

“Can’t promise anything” said Izuku, his voice full of mischief.

“In that case I can’t promise that I won’t smack you on the head next time you pull of shit like this” replied the doctor, as he walked out of his patient’s room, hiding his smile behind the clipboard.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic Writer Meme! tagged by @aban-asaara, thank you!! a nice meme to self-indulgently wind down with after a stressful day...

What is your total word count on AO3?

160,546. I had forgotten all about the AO3 stats page until having to dig that out, oops. I have more short drabbles etc on tumblr as well (and a LOT of stuff I just... never finished/posted anywhere).

How often do you write?

varies hugely depending on what else is going on in my life. In good times, I aim for daily, at least 500 words. During years I participate in NaNoWriMo, 1500-2000 per day in November. Other times I just can’t make even 500 happen with work/etc. Still more other times, my depression kicks in and I’m pretty useless at everything, and unfortunately go months with no writing at all. 

Do you have a routine for writing?

I try to write in several short bursts. If doing 500/words/day, then two chunks of 250, and some editing/planning on top. If during NaNoWriMo, 4 chunks of about 500 words each. If I really push myself to get them done in sections, I spend less time fiddling around, but the break between them makes it still relaxing/fun.

I also have a computer/document setup that works very well for me. I write on a laptop that can scroll between several different ‘desktop’ screens. I have one for fun stuff, and set one aside for writing. The only browser window/tabs allowed to be open on that desktop are writing-related ones--research, youtube clips of scenes, wiki articles, etc. All other fun stuff goes on the other desktop where it can’t distract me while I get through a section. Then over the browser I have two word documents: one on the left titled “[StoryTitle.docx]”, and one next to it titled “[StoryTitleNotes.docx]”. On the left is the “final version” of what I’m working on--aka the working document, with the most current edits/chapters/etc. The right “Notes” one is for outlines, summaries, lines I had to delete but might want to use somewhere else, passages I haven’t gotten to yet but wanted to sketch out before I lost the inspiration for them, quotes that I want to echo the feel of, copied dialogue from the game so I don’t forget it, etc etc. Anything related to the story in the working document that I might want to reference. The notes doc can be fairly messy--my level of organization for it changes from project to project. But it makes it WAY easier for me mentally to delete and tweak things when I can put them somewhere else just in case it turns out the first way was better. 

What are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

Ohh... my pairings are pretty obvious, I’m really into Lavellan/Solas, Hawke/Fenris, and Shepard/Garrus. 

But what I’m really into is Hawke/the concept of found family and also various coping mechanisms+mental health issues; Lavellan/the weight of duty above all else, Shepard/the giddy knowledge that you won’t survive what you have to turn yourself into in order to save everything you love, Ryder+Sam/breaking the boundaries of what it means to be a single conscious entity...  

my big literary kinks are pretty much any narrative that has to do with one or more of the following: self-sacrifice, the transcendence of humanity in pursuit of a goal, the knowledge of the futility of one’s actions, the duality of self plus other, the terrifying and terrible beauty of rage, stubborn and violent perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, the frailty of people who nonetheless fool everyone into believing they’re not broken. I am also a very big fan of nontraditional formats, and the meta-narrative of a story over usual structure. 

tl;dr: I like my fiction weird. 

Like... I recognize that most of my fics. Do not include a majority of these. And the ones that do aren’t really very popular. The one that gets closest to these concepts is probably the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive which very few people read and got almost no attention. But I knew that when I posted it. I wrote it for me, after finishing the ME trilogy for the first time. The above tropes show up way more in my original writing, while I use fanfiction as a break from these more complicated/heavier themes, and to just have some fun with less technical writing. They’re there, just in smaller doses.

Fics with that sort of bend are WAY harder to search for than ones based on pairings though so like... if you have recs for anything that follows the above themes. please send them to me. i’m dying. please. 

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

How can I not answer this with Fallout from the Fade? It’s my baby. It’s the longest thing I’ve consistently written, without getting bored and abandoning it halfway through. It will probably take me a while yet (depending on mental health/writing pace/etc) to finish but I know how it ends, and most of how to get there. It’s also the third fanfiction I had ever started writing. The beginning feels rough to me when I go back to it (which an inevitable fact of my decision to post as I write/not use beta readers, which I still think was the only way for me to do this story), but I still think a lot of my ideas were clever and my execution may not have been perfect but it was pretty good. I’ve learned a lot while writing this fic.

And also I love to make people suffer. Knowing that people have shed literal tears because of things i have written fills me with the delightful glee to push forward. 

But really. Comments mean the world to me. They spur me on through rough patches where I otherwise abandon works. I’m really not used to having an audience: most of what I’ve written in my life is original content that I don’t post/share. Having other people also invested makes me feel accountable, in a good way. 

Other honorable mentions: I think Grief is one of my best fics in terms of execution and balance. Less a man than a wild cat and A Slip of the Tongue were both exercises in pacing/timing as well as forays into the highly unfamiliar territory of comedy. The aforementioned the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive satisfies my eternal desire for weird presentation and ideology taking a front seat over narrative structure (I have like. 4 other partial fics similar to this that will probably never be posted because I know they’re what I want to explore, not what other people actually want to read).

Your fic with the most kudos?

Fallout from the Fade, with 626.

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

I wish I was more consistent about sitting down and working. I managed it for 6 straight months when I started the fanfic gig, but to be fair, during that time I also had no friends and spent 5 days every other week camped out in Death Valley with no internet and nothing to do but write and brainstorm. Having the barest scrapings of a social life now that I’ve moved doesn’t do much for wordcount, it turns out.

Now something you do like?

I think I can write about mental illness realistically without it coming across as either overdramatic or idealistic. I like my descriptions, when I allow myself to use them (y’all don’t want to see how flowery most of my works would be without my self control). I have visibly improved since I started writing in 2015. 

i feel like a lot of my original circle on tumblr isnt active/writing anymore but gonna tag some people w/ no obligation… @leviathanmirror  @seekingidlewild @littleblue-eyedbird @loquaciousquark @kayla-bird and anyone else who wants to answer!! feel free to tag me if you do it, im lonely... 

[nicolecadet]

What happened to 2018 and thoughts for 2019

I feel like the last nearly 7 years have been consumed by just surviving day to day, without plans for the future, with a limited artistic bank. When you have a day job, live by yourself and do the side hustle, it’s a very fine balance of managing your health and well-being

What went well?

I got an iPad Pro and started sketching again. I tend to use the iPad more for watching Netflix, but I’m getting more comfortable with Procreate.

I became a member of the Guild Wars 2 Collective, contributing to their 2018 zine, Journeys. I’ll be releasing the images later this month. It combined my love of GW2 the game, and provided a challenge for me artistically as the images were more narrative in style, as well as being styled after the GW2 concept art. The community is fantastic and I felt I learnt a lot!

I did a book cover for Sentinel by Melanie Jordaan

I did 4 character portraits including 2 scifi pieces, a tiefling and a Pathfinder elf

I joined several art discord groups, and felt a bit more connected to other artists

My guild finally claimed their guild hall as we had enough players on at the one time (I know, no one really cares unless they game :) )

I shifted my website from Wordpress to Squarespace. While I miss some of the customisation of Wordpress, I don’t miss logging in all the time to update plugins. The base store is not as great as I would like, but it’s suitable for my purposes. I recently revamped the homepage and am now much happier with it.

What changed for me?

In the day job, I returned to my role as both a manager and a full stack JavaScript developer after having worked as a technical analyst and security specialist for about 5 years. I’m still a fairly novice JS developer, having been a .Net developer and VB 6 dev for my earlier career. I get frustrated with the lack of strong types, and the debugging process, but it will eventually start to sink in

I moved around my desk so that painting became much easier. My Cintiq is now my main monitor so it’s much easier for me to start painting

I built a new computer. This could go in the bad section, but I now have a shiny new computer that I hope will last for a number of years (and won’t start overheating like the last one!)

My illness flared up for me again. I had to take several weeks off as I changed medications and went through the side-effect process (This year I’ve had 3 different meds, and changed doses about 6 times - I have a slow drug metabolism so getting the dose right is pretty awful)

By the end of the year, I was not beating myself up for my lack of art and plateauing of digital art skills. For months, I couldn’t bring myself to look at Instagram or many of my old art haunts because it just made me feel like crap. It wasn’t jealousy, it was about feeling depressed about my current art journey. I have a pile of unopened ImagineFX that I need to go through, as well as a number of art tutorials I’ve purchased and never finished.

I moved a lot of my work to Redbubble, and abandoned my Etsy store. I’ve been adding new colouring pages and added a few of my prints and things to my website store. The main reason for this has been that shipping from Australia has become incredibly frustrating. I can sometimes get things from the UK faster than I can get from within Australia. With many people expecting quick turnaround that places like Amazon Prime have, they sometimes don’t understand that I have no control of the post or customs, and shipping takes time and left fairly neutral ratings. Some prints took 3 weeks to arrive in the US which I understand is a long time. Other times the print would arrive in a week. This was the minority of customers, but to be honest, it was stressing me out.

I revamped my Commission page. There’s more tweaks on the horizon.

What I want and need to improve on

Anatomy - Doing the GW2 project, I came across some shortcomings with my narrative and dynamic poses. Partly this is due to the fact so much of my work has been portraits and fairly static poses

Speed of painting, and changing my mindset. I procrastinate sometimes because my head keeps telling me what I produce will be garbage, and my ambitions are bigger than my skill set. The last 2 portraits I did quite quickly and I was pretty happy with how they turned out. I let go of my need for absolute perfection and just knuckled down to work.

Keeping my house tidy - I’m in the process of sorting though the accumulated crap in my house. My pantry and kitchen drawers was the beginning, and OMG it is so nice to open drawers and be able to easily find things.

Landscape fundamentals. Again, working on the GW2 project I struggled with landscape and architecture. I want to improve, though I don’t have a great love for painting landscapes

Managing my time better. I game far too much, I need to build in time to sketch and paint

Future Goals for 2019?

Turn some old sketches into proper paintings - like the Queen of Foxes piece, and the Dragon Queen sketch. I’d love to repaint my old, old painting of the Blue witch

Do a lot of personal work. At the moment I am commission free… something that hasn’t happened for about 15 years. To be honest, I probably burnt myself out… again. I’ve knocked back a number of commissions this year because they either made me stressed because I didn’t feel like I had the skill to create them, or were requests for art types I’ve done before, and struggled to paint, which again stressed me out. I believe if you want a good commission process, the artist should have the skill, and also have a level of enthusiasm that produces quality art. I’m fortunate that I don’t have to take on every commission that comes my way, and I always want a happy client.

With that personal art, I’d like to set up a world on WorldAnvil and design a fantasy world which has been floating around in my head.

Figure out my sketch commissions. I want to set up Kofi or something that allows sketch commissions on a budget, where I have more artistic control

Paint some fan art. I have a list of things on Trello, including Dragon Age, World of Warcraft, GW2, Elder Scrolls

Maybe get the watercolours out and paint something. Unfortunately my cat is a PITA and often makes traditional painting a challenge

I want to publish a colouring book. At the moment I don’t have enough art, but I’d like to make a collection of illustrations for personal use only. So creating enough colouring pages so that I have at least 24 images is one goal

Do another Dragon Sidhe painting. I had an Amethyst one partially done, but I don’t like him enough to finish him

Do some video recordings. I’ve been recording my paintings through procreate, but these are just sketches

Have a better balance of work and health.

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON ATLAS’ MAIN VOCAL NAMJOON…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 26 DEBUT AGE: 23 SKILL POINTS: 17 VOCAL | 05 DANCE | 07 RAP | 11 PERFORMANCE SECONDARY SKILLS: Drawing

INTERVIEW

namjoon should’ve known something is amiss when the company told him to get rid of his jeju accent.

he tried defending himself, but his efforts were not enough to get him out of the korean language class the foreign trainees usually attend. it was weird, re-learning korean like he was a foreigner (he suppose he is one in this unknown land of show business). it was as if the company wanted him to be reborn, like eliza doolittle in pygmalion. only he wasn’t the one who sought this change––he was forced into it…

but he’s willing to sacrifice everything for his family.

providing for his family. it’s supposed to be a noble intention, but kjh just had to warp his goal and his life and his personality into something marketable.

hwang namjoon became nothing more than a brand. the wholesome guy of the group. the guy every girls want and every boys want to be.

he’s loyal. a virtuous son, dedicated to his family first and foremost. however, his loyalty does not only extend to them but also towards his members (even if they had their fair share of arguments and conflicts, but let’s keep everything under an idyllic illusion). sometimes people can see how he holds back the tears if somebody brings up his family or how hard things are for his members during their training. this is not an act, but kjh tells him, “they love this. keep it up!” because girls love a sensitive family man.

he’s chivalrous and gentlemanly. every time he helps a female idol in high heels go down the stage, people admires him for his politeness (which confuses him: what is so special about this? isn’t helping others what you’re supposed to do?). meanwhile, some other girls curse under their breaths about how he shouldn’t be too close to female idols because he’s theirboyfriend. when namjoon cares for his members––cooking or cleaning for them––girls eat that up, saying, “he’s so boyfriend material! imagine him doing all these for you!”

but he’s also quirky. he’ll grab a book and sniff it because he says it smells good. he doesn’t care if a piece of meat gets stuck in between his teeth during one of atlas’ meokbang. he’ll slip and fall but instead of cursing, he’ll chuckle and call himself an idiot. kjh tells him to keep some of his quirks (albeit in moderated doses) because that makes him ‘just like every other boy’.

at the end of the day, kjh wants him to be ‘a flawed young man and not some perfect larger than life idol and celebrity’. a guy who wouldn’t be out of place if he’s in your class, or if he’s a neighbour next door. they need the ‘relatable’ boy and that’s the role namjoon has to play.

BIOGRAPHY

tw: cancer

i. hwang mijoo fell in love. she couldn’t help it. it’s only natural for a 19-year-old to fall in love, right?

if only she knew it was going to lead to more than just a heartbreak.

she had a bright future ahead of her. the first of the hwangs to go university. mijoo and her family were filled with hope and excitement for her future as a defense attorney… but her hopes and dreams all came crushing down when the test came back positive. she thought the nausea was caused by some bad sea food she ate last night.

oh, how wrong she was.

she was going to be a mom and it scared her. she wasn’t ready. he wasn’t ready. at 19 years old and 24 years old, they’re too young to be parents. however, unlike hwang mijoo—the girl with the nerves of steel, the survivor who is ready to take on whatever challenge the universe throws at her—the man ran away. a coward, a snake, that was all he became to mijoo. just like how she fell in love with him all at once, mijoo came to hate him. all at once.

ii.

june 1st, 1992.

the unwanted burden to his father and the pleasant surprise to his mother was born. it was a warm summer night (fitting of the warm-hearted young man he’d grow up to be) when mijoo first cradled namjoon in her arms. perhaps it was her optimism, perhaps it was just her trying to convince herself she would be fine, but all she saw in him was good.

the new mother returned to her parents’ house with baby namjoon. the moment the door opened, her parents welcomed mijoo with open arms albeit with pained looks on their faces. they were past the conversations (the “why were you so reckless?” “i’m sorry.” and the “you shouldn’t have quit uni.” “it’s okay, it’s better this way.”), but her parents could feel that mijoo had regrets.

iii. despite their lack of money, mijoo, namjoon, and his grandparents were always happy. however, mijoo knew she couldn’t keep this up.

“you don’t have to find work.” “no, i can’t live off of you guys.” “it’s okay, really, sweetie. you’re our daughter.” “no, i can’t. it feels wrong. he’s my responsibility, not yours.”

she always told herself that she could do anything when she puts her mind into it, but with only a high school diploma, what can you do in south korea? after months of searching for any viable jobs, she considered herself lucky that she could work as a part-timer in a department store. mijoo always feels so guilty for not giving a fulfilling childhood for her son, but this was better than nothing. at least, she got to spend her days off helping him with his homework, playing with him, taking care of him.

she was surprised that he took a lot from his father in regards to brains. it wasn’t long until he caught on what was missing in his life.

“mom, where’s dad?” “i told you, namjoonie, he died.” her parents’ eyes twitched. they couldn’t keep up with the lie. they know that mijoo is spiteful over being left and the fact that namjoon’s father had just recently finished his astrophysics research for his phd. it was as if things were working for him, but not her. “died how?” “in a car crash, honey.” namjoon looked down, fiddled with his fingers. he didn’t buy it. “i’ll clean up. mom, dad, you go play with namjoon.” his grandfather ushered him away and let namjoon help with a painting he was doing. “you can’t keep lying to him,” her mother warned. “i can’t just tell him his dad doesn’t want him.”

iv.

it was getting harder to take care of the family.

namjoon was growing fast and mijoo’s barely able to pay her son’s school tuition. it didn’t help that her father fell ill and her siblings couldn’t help with the bills. the house was getting too old to live in too. ceilings would leak and pipes would burst. the living conditions became less than ideal.

“is this my fault?” the 14-year-old namjoon asked. “no. it’s not, sweetie.”

mijoo knew that he didn’t believe her words, even if she truly meant it. she knew she had to distract him somehow, give him something else to think about, keep him away from the house. she sent him to whatever free lessons she could find—drawing, singing, piano, taekwondo. it was enough to distract namjoon. sure, it was wrong for her to keep her son in the dark, but if that meant him not witnessing his grandfather slowly approaching his death, then it would be worth it.

v.

one day, mijoo was surprised to see her 16-year-old son returning home early.

“why aren’t you in singing class?” “it’s cancelled for the day, mr. kwon is sick—”

—they were interrupted by a cough. those nasty ones with a thick layer of flem that never leaves. his mother told him to stay in the living room, but he followed her. peeking into his grandfather’s room, namjoon saw his grandfather hooked to an IV bag. he was breathing heavily and his grandmother was on the verge of tears. meanwhile, mijoo was on the phone frantically saying how she had made the down payment for the new IV bags and the chemotherapy.

his grandmother spotted him. she feigned a smile and brought him to his grandfather’s work room, where all his half-done paintings and empty canvases were stored.

“i’m sorry you had to see that, namjoon.”

vi.

18-year-old namjoon wanted to join the police academy after he graduated high school, excited at the thought of helping the community and the fact that it’s free. but he had to overhaul his plans when he realised that his weak stamina would prevent him from becoming a police officer.

plus, the family needed a solution soon. his mother couldn’t keep working 6 odd jobs to take care of four people.

what else can he do?

he went into the kjh global creative building and sang his heart out.

he auditioned over and over again until they put him into training. once he has a spot, he decided to forgo university, stayed in the company’s building so he wouldn’t bother his mother at home, and skipped meals.

at least this way, mijoo had one less person to worry about.

he’s already a pretty good singer, but he hadn’t realised how much dancing was required to be an idol. he would spend nights crying, with his body aching everywhere—pushed to limits he didn’t know existed. he spent 5 gruesome years in hell, of course he had second thoughts. but whenever he’s close to quitting, he’d remember his grandfather’s coughing fits and his mother crying every night with his grandmother.

his mother didn’t approve of his career. she told him the family was fine, that he didn’t have to drain himself for something he wasn’t passionate about. he’d hold her hand and lie to her that this was what he wanted.

vii.

eventually, his family’s bills are slowly getting paid thanks to him and atlas’ rise to fame. it’s not much, but his grandmother told him that his mother could finally quit one of her part-time jobs because of it. mijoo keeps asking namjoon to stop paying for them, to use his money on himself, but he insists that family comes first.

his grandfather’s chemotherapy is going well and, while still not fully healed, he is strong enough to walk and return to his job as a painter. occasionally, he’d send sketches of his next project to namjoon while namjoon would send whatever scribbles he did during his down time. namjoon would smile fondly, happy that his grandfather is no longer bedridden, happy that his grandmother has time to finally work on her garden, happy that his mother can stop working at that old department store.

this is what he’s fighting for.

it still stung how far away he was from his family, but—like his mother—he is a survivor.

this is the only way.

[mactirefckr-blog]

General Information

Name: Devin Kelly Pronunciation: “DEV-in Kehl-lee” Name Meaning: “Devin” as a given name has mixed origins; according to behindthename.com, it is an Anglicized version of the surnames, “Ó Damháin” or “Ó Dubháin,” though the “Ó” prefix means “descendent of.” “Damhán” means “fawn” from Gaelic “damh,” for “stag, ox” with a diminutive suffix. “Dubhán” means “dark, black” combined with a diminutive suffix. “Kelly” is an Anglicized version of, “Ó Ceallaigh,” which means “descendent of Ceallach.” “Ceallach” (again, according to behindthename.com) is of uncertain origins, but traditionally said to mean, “bright-headed.” Its origins could also either be from the Old Irish word, “ceallach” meaning “war, strife,” or “ceall” for “church.” Name Origin: Irish, Gaelic Nicknames: He also responds to the nickname, “Dev.” None too many other nicknames have been given to him, though. Gender: Male. Titles: Garden witch; he grows various herbs for potions and salves most commonly used in an assortment of spells, thus the title “garden witch.”

Birth Name: Fíona Kelly. Birth Date: February 4, 19 years prior to the current year in the canon timeline for Arcana (making him 19 years old, of course). Birth Length: 18” Birth Weight: 6 lb 2oz Birth Place: Devin was born in an island country far north of Vesuvia. Birth Order: The youngest of three; he has an older brother and a sister.

Laterality: Somewhat ambidextrous, though favors the right due to conditioning at an early age. Had he been left to his own devices, he’d likely have been left-handed. Astrological Sign: Aquarius. Autograph: A scribble, honestly. How can anyone read this?? Handwriting: Not that much more legible than his signature, if you ask Devin. Though others like to compliment his handwriting for being “graceful;” it has a loopy quality, half-cursive & half-print— though sometimes, if he feels the need to make it more legible (such as his notes and recipes for various spells), he will also write in all caps as he has an easier time reading it.

Appearance

Picture: I’ll link to some sketches and drawings here in time.

Height: 5’0” or ~152 cm Weight: 118 lbs or ~53 kg Species: Human Race / Ethnicity: Irish Blood Type: AB

Skin Color: Pale white boi Birthmarks: One small birthmark on his left butt cheek Somatotype: Ectomorph

Hair Color: Chestnut brown with red highlights. Hair Length: He has an undercut with the top a varied length. The longest lock reaches just above his chin when completely straightened, or about his cheekbone when styled as per his norm. The back is cut to about a half an inch long along his crown and faded to blend. Hair Type: He has naturally really tight, frizzy curls that he often straightens into gentle waves with the aid of magic. When he wakes up, his hair is a mess of curls everywhere. Hair Style: An undercut, parted to the right with the shaved left side exposed. Widow’s Peak: He has a small widow’s peak that is only visible when his hair is pulled back (which is pretty much never) Ear Shape: Slightly pointed at the tips, but more or less average size Ear Type: Free lobe Eye Color: Hazel, changes color depending on what he’s wearing— from gray, to light brown, to green or blue. Eye Type: Downturned Eyebrows: Somewhat thick, gentle arch Nose Shape: Button-nose Teeth: Slightly bucktoothed, crooked bottom teeth Face Shape: Oval Complexion: Fair; some acne, but not a lot. He does what he can to take care of his skin Facial Hair: Patchy af, he’s still growing it in so he just keeps it clean-shaven.

Hat Size: Small Shirt Size: Small Waist Size: He wears juniors 8 or 9, depending. Shoe Size: A size 5 in men’s/boy’s (these are US sizes)

Health and Image

Diet: Devin… forgets to eat a lot. And when he does eat, he’s usually snacking on quick, easy to eat things such as bread, fruit, vegetables, and nuts. He very rarely eats meat of any kind, and when he does it tends to mess with his digestion— especially red meats. Exercise: He doesn’t exercise much, but he’s always active and working— whether it’s gardening or crafting things, most of what he does involves a lot of menial labor. Fitness: As a consequence of his work, he’s somewhat fit, though perhaps not overtly muscular. Maximum Load: Perhaps between 50 and 60 lbs? He could probably lift more, but it’d take effort.  Either way, the max he generally lifts are 50 to 60 lb bags of potting soil and fertilizer. Running Speed: Whatever the average is for someone who doesn’t run a lot? lmao Posture: He slouches a lot, which he knows is probably bad, but he’s usually bent over his work since he does a lot of close work, too. Dexterity: Pretty dexterous; he has to be Reflexes: Above average; he needs to have good reflexes with what he does.

Handicaps: No significant ones, though he is partially deaf in his left ear and this effects his ability to discern the direction sound is coming from. It also has the affect of throwing him off balance sometimes when there are loud, sudden noises. Crowded places can leave him feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, particularly if they are loud. Aids: He opts not to use any as he has has full hearing in his right ear and has adapted to his handicap well enough to function under most circumstances. Medication: Self-medicates via magical potions to manage his anxiety & PTSD. Augmentations: None. Allergies: Minimally allergic to pet dander, though this is manageable even around animals. Diseases: None. Illnesses: None. Disorders: General anxiety disorder and PTSD. Imperfections: Various scars along his legs, arms, and back from instances in the past where he had fallen and been cut as a consequence of his past abuse. Broken Bones: In the past, he’s broken his right arm and fractured his left fibula just above the ankle. Both have healed moderately well, though if he spends too much time on his feet, he’ll have a slight limp by the end of the day. Reason for Health: Numerous reasons; he was born with the hearing problem, which affected his development in small, but significant ways— he also had frequent ear infections as a child. Coupled with childhood abuse and neglect, this was never looked after as it should have been, thus the permanent damage to his left ear, his scars, and the past broken limbs.

Wardrobe: Devin is very often sharp dressed while working in the shop or out in the city— button-ups with patterned vests, ties and bowties.  He also often wears shorts,  Accessories: He likes pocket watches, more for the aesthetic than anything. Equipment: He uses a number of various tools for his work? Wardrobe: Devin is very often sharp dressed— button-ups with patterned vests and bowties. Accessories: He likes pocket watches, more for the aesthetic than anything. Equipment: He uses a number of various tools for his work? Musical Instruments: He knows how to play the flute and ukulele Amulets: A few. Piercings: Earlobes, left eyebrow, and cartilage (both ears, twice?). Hygiene: He is very much on top of this. He cannot stand the feeling of being dirty for too long. Showers a minimum of once daily. Makeup: None. Perfume / Cologne: He likes earthy scents. And mint. Scars: Already mentioned his scars somewhere. Mostly his legs, arms, and back. His hands hand little scars and callouses as well, but these are work-related. Tattoos: Yes! I will provide refs eventually.

Voice

Accent / Dialect: He speaks with a thick accent respective to his native country. He fluently speaks the common tongue within Vesuvia, while also fluently speaking his native tongue and couple other major languages. Voice: A low alto/high tenor. He practices daily in an effort to deepen his voice. Range: Singing range is poor, though he does practice daily as it helps with his ability to control his speaking voice. Volume: He tends to talk quietly, and his voice doesn’t carry much— this is in part due to insecurities as well as a conditioning growing up not to speak unless spoken to, and to speak quietly as not to speak over others. Laughter: He does not laugh often, but when he does it is a full laugh, right from the gut. Impediments: He grew up with various set-backs in terms of speech, though they are mostly unnoticeable now. Sometimes he will stutter over words and mix up his consonants or become generally tongue-tied— especially if anxious or sleep-deprived— though this is the extent of his speech impediments now, as an adult.

Psychology

IQ: He would perform absolutely dreadfully via standardized testing, so this would likely reflect poorly on his IQ. However, his is definitely intelligent. Casual reminder that IQ (and any form of standardized testing) is a terrible, terrible means of measuring one’s intelligence. Languages: He speaks a total of three or four common languages within the Arcana universe. Vocabulary: Above average. Memory: Highly dependent. He remembers certain details extremely well— especially numbers— but easily forgets other things. Not to mention the bout of canon memory loss— large chunks of his memory currently ripped from his consciousness. Temperament: Placid; he rarely emotes, often coming across as rather deadpan and monotonous. Learning Style: Hands-on, visual. Emotional Stability: Despite how calm he always visibly seems, he’s often rather anxious or stressed about one thing or another. Mental Health: He has PTSD and GAD, both of which he manages through the use of magical potions. Instincts: He has a habit of immediately drawing up into a defensive stance. He’ll duck or dodge when something is tossed toward him, or curl in on himself.

Bodily-Kinesthetic: Slightly above average. His muscle memory is excellent; he’ll start to do things he has no conscious memory of how to do, but finish without any hiccups so long as he trusts in himself. He’s also good with his hands, crafting things and is very much a hands-on type of learner. Interpersonal: This is what he struggles most with; interacting with too many people at once can be overwhelming. He’s also rather awkward around people he is unfamiliar with, and some people just aren’t sure how to read his sarcasm. Intrapersonal: This he struggles with, as well. Often times, he just simply doesn’t want to feel anything because it’s confusing and/or overwhelming. When overwhelmed, he dissociates. Linguistic: Here he excels. Despite his setbacks developmentally due to his hearing loss, Devin is rather good at learning & understanding languages and stringing meaningful words together. Logical-Mathematical: Average, I’d say? He is a logical thinker and can easily understand and follow numbers & mathematical problems when presented a certain way. I wouldn’t say he excels in this area, though. Musical: He’s well-taught and, while he does not excel (much like the above), he is good— especially considering his early struggles with his hearing problems. He has a decent singing voice and is able to string melodies together easily enough, though he’d find writing his own music difficult. He does not play much because he is self-conscious, but it is a sort of therapy for him when he’s by himself. Naturalistic: Here he also excels. His two talents, language and nature. He understands plants and animals in a way he does not even understand himself, let alone other people. As a consequence, he cares for his garden far better than he cares for himself sometimes. Spatial: Existential:

Perception

Audition: Gustation: Olfaction: Tactition: Vision: Intuition: Synesthesia:

Philosophy

Religion: Devotion: Superstitions: Spirit Animal:

Allegiance: Political Party: Political Awareness:

Morality: Etiquette: Alignment: Attitude: Outlook on Life: Perception: Philosophy / Motto: Taboos: Vices: Virtues:

Character

Primary Objective: Secondary Objectives: Priorities: Motivation: Self Confidence: Self Control: Self Esteem:

Quirks: Hobbies: Closet Hobbies: Guilty Pleasures: Habits:

Desires: Wishes: Lures: Manias: Afflictions: Traumas: Worries: Nervous Tics: Instigators: Soothers: Savvies: Ineptities: Soft Spots: Cruel Streaks:

Accomplishments: Greatest Achievement: Failures: Biggest Failure: Obituary:

Most Prized Possession: Most Valuable Possession: Collections:

Mannerisms: Humor: Secrets: Pet Peeves: Phobias: Greatest Fear:

Confidence: Creativity: Generosity: Honesty: Loyalty: Insecurities: Patience: Predictability: Reliability: Respect: Responsibility: Trustworthiness:

Common…

Compliments: Insults: Expletives: Farewells: Greetings: Mood: Words: Emotional Status:

Preferences

Likes: Dislikes: Favorites: Least Favorites:

Combat

Ability: Element: Martial Arts: Immunities: Resistances: Strengths: Weaknesses: Restrictions: Origin: Source:

Specialty: Signature Move: Special Attack: Courage:

Home, Work, and Education

Abode: Hometown: Citizenship: Culture: Traditions: Routine: Sleep Patterns: Eating Habits: Pets:

Employer: Job Title: Experience: Community Service: Rank: Supervisor: Hours: Work Ethic: Transportation: Criminal Record: Dream Job:

Income/Salary: Net Worth: Budget: Debt: Savings: Dependents: Splurges:

Elementary School: Middle School: High School: Colleges: Special Education: Extracurricular Activities: Graduating Year: Study Habits: Grades: Degrees:

Social

Mother: Father: Guardians: Siblings: Children: Close Relatives: Distant Relatives: Ancestors:

Best Friend: Close Friends: Confidantes: Friends: Allies: Acquaintances:  Followers: Subordinates: Rivals: Enemies:

Inspirations: Role Models: Heroes: Mentors:

Family Dynamics: Communication: Discrimination: Reputation: Dominance: Expression: Cooperation: Sociability: Status: Class: Livelihood:

Memberships: Community:

Romance

First Love: Flirtiness: Turn-ons: Turn-offs: Fetishes: Virginity:

Reactions

Angry: Anxious: Conflicted: Criticized: Depressed: Embarrassed: Excited: Frightened: Guilty: Happy: Mistaken: Nervous: Offended: Praised: Rejected: Sad: Stressed: Thoughtful:

Impressions

First: Self: Family: Lover: Friends: Associates: Authority: Strangers: Enemies:

Personality

MBIT Personality Type: Anima: Personas: Idiosyncrasies:

[justice-kay-blog]

BLOG THE WEEK!

Blog #1

This week we did 'a day in my life' project. I wrote up a research post about a show called '@summerbreak' which was the inspiration behind my own video. My video is pretty much a parody of my life, it's meant to be funny and kinda silly but at the same time it's not too far off the reality. Filming it was pretty fun, I genuinely woke up ridiculously late that day and stayed in bed until nearly 10pm but I thought that added to the humour/comedy side of the video. Filming was pretty easy, I pretty much just stuck the camera on a tripod and hit record and just left it on. In the video I invited Jason over in the early hours of the morning, which again I think adds to the comedy of the video because it shows how annoying I can be. I knew I wanted someone else to be in my video other than me, I originally planned to go out for brunch with my friends and film it or have my family in the video but I woke up so late that I couldn't do that. Honestly i'm not that gutted about only having 1 other person in my video because a lot of the time I genuinely do wake up late and only see the people in my house and I didn't want to make a romanticised/dramatised version of my life where I go out and meet and eat with my friends because that actually rarely happens outside of college. The only thing that ruined it after creating the video is that the sound in the video is really wrong and way too quiet and I just can’t fix it. Other than 'a day in a life of' we got briefed on our proposal. The whole point of us doing the whole 'day in a life of' project was to get some inspiration for our Final Major Project (FMP). Our proposal is basically to show our pre-planning and thought process for our FMP, but I haven't really worked on it very much yet. That's something for next week I suppose.

Blog #2

In the past two weeks my main focus has been finishing my proposal. I really struggled with it because I didn’t have much inspiration or really any idea what I was going for with my music video. With a lack of imagination and ideas, I kind of had to come up with something quite last minute. We got given a FMP checklist that entailed all the things we need to do and how much work we should be aiming to do which I found extremely useful. I sat with Billy and he helped my find inspiration for my video. We talked about how I was finding it difficult to find the motivation to do any research because I was planning on pretty much winging my filming and hoping it goes well, but once I had explained to him what my basic ideas were in my head we looked up things similar, so that I had a better image of what I wanted and a more solid ‘research’ foundation for my FMP music video to be based off. We broke down all the little things and features that I wanted to go into my music video which then helped me to decide what I really wanted my video to be like and then I wrote about them in my proposal. We also took a trip to the library where I was pointed to a book which contained lots of photography and I really liked the style so I’ve decided to put it into my own work with my own style and interpret it my own way.  Also this week I sat down and spent a whole day on adobe premiere to refresh my brain on the ins and outs of the program since I haven't used it in a while. I pulled some clips, of my current favorite tv show off, off of youtube and created some 14 second edits which I kinda like so then posted them to instagram. In the clips I experimented with colour grading, sequencing clips, different transitions, looping music and some other minor things. I kind-of wanted to include screenshots of the stuff I did but I forgot to save the original clips and they got deleted overnight. :/ 

- I do however still have the actual videos I created still saved. I’ll only include my favorite one because the others were a little rusty.

A post shared by Kay Justice Mason (@justice_kayyy) on May 1, 2017 at 8:50am PDT

Blog #3

This week I created this moodboard, which contains the things I want to include in my music video. Drawing my ideas out like this help me visualise what I actually want the shots and scenes to look like. We were given a task to complete which was pretty much the same thing but more in-depth. It was the ‘shipping container’ task which is written about in a separate blog post. I didn’t achieve as much as I wanted this week, I was supposed to start filming this but It was a mixture of awkwardly placed bank holidays, being ill and difficulty to arrange my friends to meet me and help me film on non-college days... that ultimately made it pretty impossible to start filming. But instead, I made this moodboard, Completed the ‘shipping container’ activity, worked on drawing some awesome storyboards and also did a budgeting task where I figured out how much a production like mine would cost to professionally create in the real world.

Blog #4

This week I did a research post on the Dutch tilt, I also did a lot of helping with filming, I’m an actress In Erazem’s short film and I play a character called Jasmine who is the roommate/best-friend of the main character. Monday we all went out to a bench near the college to shoot a scene I was in and then we went to the hoe to shoot a different scene that I wasn’t in but I took the role of a sound technician and recorded the audio for the scene. We all also went to Erazem’s house on Thursday to film some more scenes. On Tuesday I sat inside and drew storyboards all day. I’m quite behind with filming because I’m still not one hundred percent satisfied with my storyline and It would have been quite difficult to film this week since my actors used the only day we were all free to film to go to Erazem’s house to film. On Wednesday we did a HE workshop activity where we went to the main building to experience some fun workshops that gave us a feel of what we were to expect if we were to continue at PCA into higher education course. I picked a ceramics and a film workshop and they were both relatively fun and eye-opening. Next week I’m mainly planning on concentrating on unit nine as the deadline is coming up soon and I need to crack on with it. I’m also reconsidering how I’m going to film because it’s been pretty difficult recently and things keep getting in the way.

Blog #5

This week I’ve been really concentrating on getting unit nine out the way. I’ve made my own logo and business card, but there’s more about that in a separate blog post. Everything to do with unit 9 you can find under the dropdown option labeled ‘Tags’ at the top of the page.

I’ve decided to film differently because it got postponed again (this time because of weather). This week I completed 2 research posts, the first on cinematography and the second on transitions. I’m going on holiday over half term to Scotland and I’m planning on filming over there instead. I think this is a better idea because It’s so difficult to get everyone together to film but also because i’m running out of time and I really need to get it done. I’m going to try and hire out equipment over half term and I’m going to be the actor in my own video, this will make it quite a bit more difficult but i’m pretty determined I can do it. 

Blog #6

This week the focus has mainly been around completing unit 9 work because of the upcoming deadline. We were told to do the 'create your own logo and business card' project but since I already did that last week I just wrote up a blog post on it and continued with other blogwork that needed completing. I created a post called 'Music video inspiration and Research', containing screen-grabs from popular music videos that I've labelled and explained/ written about if they include either:

- Aspects and features that I already planned to include in my own music video.

- Any effects/ techniques/ shots or scenes that inspired me recreate them or something similar in my own work.

This week I also worked on my LinkedIn account, Which I created a couple weeks ago but didn't really complete properly. I wrote about making my LinkedIn account in a different blog post. We did a peer evaluation task where we paired up with someone in our class and evaluated each others work with an online evaluation form. Unfortunately I haven't been able to get my partner to forward me the email of the evaluation they did of my work so I can't include it on my blog. I am however currently trying to get a friend to evaluate my work so fingers crossed I will be able post their response soon and reflect on constructive criticism. On Wednesday the class did a session based on politics, relevant because of the upcoming election. I wasn't in college on this day because I was ill but I still did the activity at home. I read some voting facts and learnt a little more about the main political parties values and voted in the CMP polling station. I also did a 2017 election quiz and found out that I side 86% with labour. Even though I can't vote yet because i'm under 18 I still have pretty strong views and opinions on politics so I really enjoyed this activity. On Thursday I went back to Erazem's house to finish filming the last of the scenes that I make an appearance in. I also got dressed up as Cleopatra and took another acting role in Chan's comedy short based off of a show called 'Come Dine With Me'. Chan's filming also took place inside Erazem's house.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how I'm supposed to have my music video storyline make sense. I've been making notes and sketches down on paper which I will scan and include on a blog post soon so that I can show my thought process. I'm mainly worried about how the video will have to make sence with the song I choose which Is made even more difficult since I am having conflicting thoughts on what song to use still.

Next week I will be filming in Scotland and doing anymore blogwork that needs completing.

Blog #7

Transcript:

This week, if I may say so myself, has been a very successful week. I struggled to pick between three different songs, those songs were:

- ‘What You Know’ by Two Door Cinema Club

- ‘Atlas’ by COIN

- ‘Color’ by Finish Ticket

After much pondering and pacing aimlessly around the house I finally decided on ‘Atlas’ by COIN. I really like this song a lot anyway, I think it’s really catchy but I decided overall it had the best rhythm and beat for the kind of music video I envisioned. While deciding on which song to pick, I chose all these songs because I had only ever heard them and I’d never watched their music videos. Because of this, once I’d decided on the song I’m going to use, I sat in my room for about an hour and just imagined in my head what the music video would go like and what kind of things I already decided to put in it and how I could incorporate those ideas into my imagined music video. Once I had figured out how the music video went in my head, I got out my notebook and wrote down my storyline. Once I had my storyline, I made my shotlist and after that I made my floorplans (all of which have been revamped and uploaded in separate blog posts now).

So anyway, once I had all of those things completed. I started filming and boy was it fun. In total I think there were ninety shots that were filmed in Scotland, they were all filmed over 2 days but they were all really short. I was basically by myself in Scotland so I had to position and set up the camera as well as be my own actor, I think while I was in Scotland I only got help with one of my shots when I got my step dad to zoom the camera into the clock for me. It all flowed pretty freely in my opinion, I got all my shots done without really any major problems. The only real issue that came up was when my SD card broke, I have for some reason a history of breaking my SD cards, I don’t know how it just always happens. I guess that’s why i’m so used to having to fix them ;) Anyway this time the lock switch on my SD card fell off, usually when this happens I tape over where I would want the lock switch to be. But this time I was in the middle of Scotland on holiday, and I don’t know about you but I don’t usually think to bring tape with me on holiday. So I actually used the sticker off a banana, sounds stupid I know but it actually worked. Do not worry, this is not a long term thing, I’m not that stingy I have bought a new SD card now but at the time it was an emergency. But other than this catastrophic event, everything sailed smoothly. 

In Scotland there isn’t a lot to do when you’re not being a tourist, so I had a lot of free time on my hands which somehow I managed to turn into productivity. I say somehow because that never happens. But yeah, I watched Cloverfeild and wrote up a research analysis post. I also managed to get Jason and Steve to evaluate my work because they’re my lucky angels, so I got time to reflect on constructive criticism too.

Once I got home from Scotland I revamped and wrote up all the work that was in my notebook. I also filmed the last 15 major shots with Steve (my actor) and Jason who helped me film. Next week I believe I shall be editing my clips together into the final music video and I think I will also be doing a self evaluation as well as a sketch post on all the ideas that didn’t end up going into my music video.

Blog #8

So now, we’re here... The final blog the week to bring a close to my FMP. This week the first thing I did was edit my music video, I put all the clips together so they went with the rhythm and told a story that went with the lyrics. I completely finished editing my music video on the first day back to college which was really relieving because I was so worried I wouldn’t get it all done on time. This week I also created an outtakes video, unfortunately it’s not very long because the clips I filmed for the music video tended to be so short that not a lot could possibly go wrong in that amount of time and it’s not like I could mess up my lines or anything because there weren’t any scenes with dialog. Either way, the outtakes went into my sketch category, speaking of categories I made a blog post right at the top of my page to inform you again of the tags drop down menu at the top because after letting some of my friends scroll through the work on my blog it became clear that apparently it’s really easy to miss the bit at the top that clearly states that there is a catagorising system in big capital letters... 

Other things I did this week: I did a final evaluation which has been uploaded to my blog under the ‘evaluation’ category. I submitted my FMP work for the summer show. I wrote a post that talks about how my research and planning work translated into my FMP music video. And finally I uploaded all my notes, I don’t know if they’re useful at all but I thought I’d upload them anyway just in case.

[ashleysillustrations]

Contact With Industry - Steve Brown

My fifth Contact with industry is a children's illustrator called Steve Brown who lives in the uk and is represented by the Bright Agency.

I love your textured work it brings your illustrations to life, what are the 5 things that inspire your work?

Oh God I don’t really know, I’m not quite sure where most of it comes from. I have periods were I am totally inspirationaly numb and then I have times where ill produce something new everyday. I would probably say, if I had to try and narrow things down..

1: stupid and funny stuff my kids say, that sometimes inspires me to write or draw something.

2:watching a lot of cartoons etc with the kids, ive always loved cartoons and grew up in the late 70’s early 80’s when all the best stuff was on tv.

3: I like to look through other illustrators pages on twitter, facebook, instagram etc and sometimes something might spark some inspiration off.

4: Again I like to look at other artists work, I like to study their tecniques and I get ideas for my own stuff sometimes while I do that.

5: I don’t sleep that well, and a lot of ideas for stories and images pop in my head while im laying there so I tend to write a quick  ote then and there so I don’t forget it in the morning.

What type of illustration projects are you most interested in?

My ultimate goal is to write and illustrate my own books, I am currently trying out my writing and sending stuff to my agent, and thankfully getting some good responses from her, and they are being pitched to publishers and book fairs so fingers crossed they will develop into something soon. But I love illustrating anything really, I like things with a good sense of humor, stupid humor and gross stuff. I want to illustrate stuff for kids, I see lots of stuff out there at the moment that are beautiful illustrations but I feel that the stories are for the adult and not the child, kids want fun and adventure and that’s what I want to do. 

When working for clients do you ever get uninterested or uninspired of a project? If so what motivates you to finish the project?

Yes unfortunately sometimes I get like that, the story can sometimes be a bit boring, especially if they are for really young readers. I try to focus on the character design as that’s a part I really enjoy, I try to think of each project as a learning experience in the business and in my development as an artist, plus I need to pay the mortgage haha so gotta get it done.

 I tend to have creative blocks,do you get them? If so how do you overcome them?

Have that for sure, more often than I like! Don’t know why I get them and don’t know how I get rid of them.. ill have days where everything I do is rubbish or I actually cant think of a thing to do, then all of a sudden something clicks and its gone!.. so im afraid im of no help there, I think all creative get that and you have to just power through as much as possible.

When deciding to become an illustrator how did you start to gain work? what was your strategy?

I was a Paramedic for 9 years but knew I wanted to leave and try to become an illustrator, ( I went to art college when I left school for a few years) and was going to slowly die down the ambulance work and try to break into the illustration world, but I ended up with a bad back injury which put me off work sick for 7 months and I was in constant pain. Drawing was the only thing to that took my mind off it all, I decided  to try and approach agents to see what responses I got. I Got signed after 6 weeks and started from there really, when I finally got better enough to try and go back to work, I only managed 2 shifts and I was back in hospital, came home and my wife told me I wasn’t going back, and wrote my resignation letter right then. If it wasn’t for my wifes amazing support I couldn’t do any of this. I was with that agent for 2 and a bit years, then moved to Bright. Don’t know how I would of got on if I hadn’t got signed by an agent?

Where do your colour pallets come from?

I tend to just put down what feels right for that image.. some publishers like a certain palette for there books which can be hard if I feel it’s a bit too garish but I tend to balance that out with doing a piece of my own to satisfy my needs haha.

 My personal workstation if full of all sorts of paint, pens and book etc… what does your work station consist of and what is your favourite medium to work with?

It consists of a bloody mess!!.. im actually buying a new studio in the next couple of months.. I currently have a summer house at the bottom of the garden but am changing it for a big Log cabin, so will have lots more space.. my desk has my large cintiq on it plus lots of pens and pencils etc, I have lots of books of illustration and childrens books, comics and graphic novels. Loads of full up sketchbooks and spare sketchbooks. I Also have a drawing/art table which is currently full of marvel and star wars toys etc and the od harry potter wand.

I like to doodle in my sketchbook, I used to do a lot of watercolour and copic markers etc but I use photoshop now for my proper finished work, I do love to sketch in my sketchbooks but I really do love to work digitally no.

Is there any advice you would give an illustration student finishing university wanting to become a children's book illustrator?

Make sure you have a lot of savings hahaha I would say make sure you have a passion for it as its hard going being freelance, its hard to not have that certainty of a regular wage. But I think it is worth it, I am 40 in April and the happiest ive ever been. Its an amazing job when you have the work, but also a scary job when it quietens down.

My advice would be keep pushing yourself, say yes to everything and then work out how you’ll do it afterwards, try not to put too many walls up. Doing something new and different is scary but can also be very rewarding.

You can check out Steve's work here -  http://www.stevebrownillustration.co.uk