#after his “if I didn't have you” song for his wife. yknow the bit where

[res-on8]

Today, out of an abundance (i hope?) of caution, I went to get my IUD replaced early. It won't need it for about a year and a half, but by then, who knows if they'll be allowed in the US.

Anyway, they have to give the "here are the benefits and the risks" talks before doing the procedure, and the NP noted the one that's THE horror story of IUDs, uterine perforation, which is about exactly what it sounds like and is probably as scary as it sounds. But it's also pretty dang rare. I've had this IUD for 6.5 years and I got the spiel before, so I causally mentioned back that (because of my long-time friend's mom who is an anesthesiologist) I had heard more of the "baby being born holding the IUD stories."

I went on, "Listen, it just came with a free toy! I mean it's probably a choking hazard, but if you didn't want it anyway...."

Let me tell you, I did NOT expect that cheery NP in a sequin-studded sweater to be so tickled by that Tim Minchin-ass joke that she pulled up a note on the computer to jot it down.

[fuutaprotectionsquad]

Yknow I feel like I should have a main post where I share my Milgram opinions/verdicts (thought of this bc i was writing my sister's opinion on the milgram characters). So I'll go character by character.

Will anyone read this? I don't know but its here

Haruka: I relate to him a bit (shitty mother, intrusive homicidal thoughts, neurodivergence). I def feel bad for him but hes still really guilty in my mind. I just think the whole killing for attention thing is a really dangerous mindset you can't just get out of, especially if you're being told you're not in the wrong. And it definitely seems like he doesn't actually feel bad for the girl he killed, just feels bad because people are mad at him for it. Idk. But I enjoy his dynamic with Muu a lot, even tho its toxic i just think its really interesting. But I wish him the best and he deserves a hug. His songs are mid tho (/hj i like them)

Yuno: I love her personality and I think shes so fun, but I honestly don't think about her a lot compared to the others. But I love her and specifically enjoy her dynamics with (obv mostly in fan content) Kazui, Mahiru and Fuuta. Her and Fuuta are such a good platonic ship (romantic is fun too). Innocent vote, obv. I like her songs, but Tear Drop moreso than Umbilical.

Fuuta: Oh my god I wonder what I think of him. In all seriousness he's a major hyperfixation of mine at like every given moment. I adore him and i think he deserves better and to be innocent. Like he feels so guilty for what he did and he didn't know any better, everyone around him was encouraging his behavior and praising him for it. But then it got too far and all his friends abandoned him and blamed him like. Poor fuuta :( and he's like 100% right when he says him and es are exactly the same. On another note, major fan of 0309 (romantically, but either way works), and also love his dynamic with Haruka, Yuno, Mahiru, Amane and Es. His songs are both in my top three (backdraft being #1)

Muu: Tied for my fav character(? Fuuta might beat her idk) I love her personality and vibe and everything just ❤️❤️ queen shit. And her queen bee design is gorgeous. Typically my favs are men but shes one of the first women ive hyperfixated on this much. Again, love her dynamic with Haruka, not from a like. healthy relationships could make the characters better standpoint, but from a story perspective its interesting. But yeah guilty. As for her songs, INMF is my #2 and i like After Pain

Shidou: Honestly I used to be kinda indifferent about him and just found him to be boring but then I rewatched his voice dramas and read some fics and I like him more now. I feel really bad for him bc he went through a really shitty situation which he felt he had the power to change and was stuck in a shitty moral dilemma bc of it. And in the end he did shitty things to save those he loved and it didn't even matter. He feels so guilty and doesn't deserve it. Innocent <3. Also romantic 0507 ftw (0506 is cool too). Him and Amane are silly too. As for his songs i like them, but they're not my fav

Mahiru: i like her, but im not too like. invested in her ig. But i feel bad for her :( she just wants to feel love and like. clearly she did something wrong but she didn't know she was. She never intended to hurt anyone. So innocent. Unless we find out she like. did something really fucking bad then maybe guilty. But in I Love You it implies it was a mutual toxicity so it probably wasn't something super terrible? But anyway. I love her with like all the characters cuz shes just so fun to see interact w others, but specifically with Yuno, Fuuta, Shidou, Amane and Mikoto.

Kazui: Hes so fun i love him. Like all he wants is to be honest and be himself but he feels pressured to lie and then finally he tells the truth and his wife fucking kills herself like- jeez- poor guy. Like following the gay theory, i get why she mightve done it (imagine being told the romance you built your entire life around for like 20 years was all a lie, and that your husband never actually loved you and just pretended to and every time you kissed or something he was just pretending like. that sucks poor hinako) but its so awful that he had to go thru that. But anyway innocent, kazui come out we accept you. And stan 0507. Song wise cat is easily #4 but. half is ok ig

Amane: Yknow i love amane but I also hate her and i think part of that might be the fandom? idk. I feel sorry for her bc she grew up in such a shitty situation but also i think shes beyond the point where we can uninstill those ideologies. Like shes 12, not 5. And amane says it herself that she has as much of a free will as everyone else and that her decision to kill/stay in this environment should be valued. Not that i think she should remain in this abusive situation, but she's not just some innocent kid whose being manipulated, she knows what she's doing. Hence, guilty. I don't think either vote will change her or anything so im voting with my honest opinion. As for dynamics, i love seeing her interact with all the other prisoners, but especially Shidou and Fuuta.

Mikoto: I love mikoto a lot but im so on the fence about his verdict. Ive been voting him innocent but theres still a part of me thats like. debating it. Bc he shouldn't have to be punished for John's actions, and it sucks that that's the situation hes in, but its that or more murders are left to occur. The main reason i say innocent is under the idea that John could go dormant or just stop fronting as much if we reduce mikoto's stress (like he says will happen i think). But hes so complex and fun i love mikoto. Specifically i love romantic 0309 but also his dynamic w the smoking group and mahiru. Also i love his songs.

Kotoko: I love her but also fuck her for hurting fuuta (and mahiru too but mainly fuuta). She annoys me bc she was so quick to almost murder several people based on a preliminary verdict that was made using little information. Like she knew this wasn't a concrete verdict, but attacked them anyway. I get her ideology of "kill people who evade justice to protect the weak" but only when they've actually done bad things (ie. the guy kidnapping the little girl). But when she doesn't know what they did and knows the person accusing them doesn't either???? Like bruh. But i like her character shes fun. I like seeing how she interacts with es and everyone she attacked. And songs, harrow is okay and i really like deep cover.

Whew im done.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

tag ppl you want to know better game - tagged by @heffer-wen many many days ago! (i had so much fun reading your answers!)

last song: "shrike" by hozier. i liked this song fine when the album first came out, but 5 years later all of a sudden it's everything my brain needs to hear. something about how his voice sounds when it gets Loud--it's just filling all the spaces that are empty and expanding my lungs and i can breathe. yknow?

currently watching: nothing, sincerely. i've got a pandemic era frank interview queued up, but that requires actually staring at a video and paying attention, and i'm not very good at that. i mean i guess i've poked around a couple old youtube videos that are too incriminating to discuss. but!

in seriousness...i'm trash at watching anything most of the time. tv/movies were on a near-total ban in my house as a kid and i think i'm a product of this parenting choice (recommend!)

three ships: frank x mason, big gabi x willo, XHAKARTETA. hard to pick a favorite frank ship though...that could go in a lot of directions.

favorite color: Heff did i see hot pink and black? YES! my favorite colors are pink and black. runners-up: red and purple, though some reds and purples are better than others.

first ship: gosh...honestly, i think it was McLennon, hahah. that was the first ship i realized was a ship, though, because my friend introduced me to ff.n via that ship the summer after 8th grade. before that, i was informally shipping katarina witt with a whole bunch of people myself included. but yes, John & Paul. i didn't really have headcanons or anything though, i just read some stuff. the first ship where i was like I SHIP IT and went to read fanfic on LJ for it was *sigh* bellatrix/narcissa from harry potter. say what we will about JKR now, and i'm sure we all have, but some of the fanfic on livejournal went HARD. as a mere teenager, i was in awe of the adults writing all this stuff, and felt so privileged to lurk amongst them and occasionally comment. Would that fandoms were still like this!!!

place of birth: new york, ny in a hospital that's about to close. i was six days late because i was destined to be a sag and not a scorpio. i knew even then!

current location: just across the river and a little bit southeast.

relationship status: hardcore in my aromantic era. i used to be obsessed with love and having a special person and all that, but i don't know...the idea of having to have someone up in my business, entitled to knowledge about me, sharing a space with me all the time...it all just feels like a big NO these days. it actively makes my skin feel crawly. of course, life is designed for you to have a partner which is pretty frustrating. sincerely i'd rather just have a bunch of loving and interesting friends who all live near me. now, am i down for a hookup? sure, but the only part of me worth seeing is my head, so we move!

last movie: "encounter in the air," it's a movie directed by this albanian director whose stuff i love. he doesn't use music in his films, and films on location in/near his hometown in northern albania, and the...soundscape? is so rich and bountiful and gorgeous. you don't realize how noisy movies are till you watch one of these. (this was one of the very rare times when i watch something)

currently working on: reading my way through my library book pile, decluttering my leggings shelf, thinking of how i want to structure a potential fic about a ~75 year-old man having a drunk fuck with his son's wife (with motivations currently unknown to me--and what tone it should have? not my usual pedestrian tone, but how to do it differently? i do have some interesting sentences written down in the draft. i like the sight and then the memory of wet footprints on the hallway floor & mud from the football pitch and carelessly worn boots tracked through the house). also how i'd write some frank/anthony gordon england NT callup dubcon phone sex. now that was a whole serving of word salad. shit, imagine if i was writing TAA/szoboszlai or pedri/gavi.

tagging: @thatbrightblueshine @kvaradonaa @protect-daniel-james @medicalwastebouquet @thundercrack (answer on whichever of your blogs hahaha) and i KNOW i'm leaving people out so...YOU. if you want!!!! no pressure at all.

[theaviskullguy]

Can We please have some Aviskull headcannons 🙏🙏 i don't see aviskull shipers a lot so

Also ur kins are so swag. I kin Agent 8 / Hachi and our little silly skrunkly emperor.

1, aw, thank you for the kin compliment!!!

2, I GOTCHU FAM

(also feel free to ask for coroika headcanons!!! I will always respond!!!)

-VERY affectionate with each other. In public it's a bit more subdued like... holding hands or an affectionate headbutt when Skull doesn't wanna risk a quick slip of the mask for a kiss. And in private they are like. Almost always touching. Hand holding, hugs from behind... it's cute.

-Avi is an enabler for Skull's sweet tooth. He knows how to make so many pastries and shit, it's amazing. Skull will help or hug Avi from behind while he's baking.

-They were friends since like. At least preschool, before getting together a few years after starting turf war

-ALTERNATIVELY

-They wanted to have a wedding as really young kids and their parents were enablers to their romantic shenanigans and gave them a lil mock wedding. But they didn't know there could be two husbands so Skull decided he wanted to be the wife. They've been together ever since. When someone asks "when's the wedding" Avi just says "we had one when we were 4"

-They do have an actual wedding. Skull still wants to be referred to as the wife as he prefers feminine titles over masculine ones but still uses he/him pronouns

-This makes Avi the "I LOVE MY WIFE" guy of coroika despite being in a mlm relationship

-Skull needs a prosthetic leg and he uses the type where he rests his leg stump in it and when he's not wearing it, Avi just. loves kissing his stump.

-theyre soulmates your honor.

-Due to Skull and Avi being married this makes Avi an honorary member of the S4 as a sub-in. If you include Rider that... makes it the S6 now.

-They're affectionately referred to as "Mom and Dad" respectively by the other S5.

-A lot of candy/dessert themed pet names like sweetie, cupcake, cookie... Skull's called Avi his Macaron, once

-BUT also a lot of traditional pet-names are used. "Dearest" and "Beloved" are big ones for them.

-Avi will sometimes call Skull his Bunny, due to Skull's favorite animals being bunnies

-Avi will press kisses to Skull's mask. its cute

-Other favorite places on Skull that Avi loves to kiss is his leg stump, cheek, anywhere on his hands, or his forehead.

-Skull loves kissing Avi's wrist, back of hand, top of his head, and also his forehead

-Inkopolis's power couple. Other than Empergloves cause yknow. Empergloves. But still

-Can just, tell when the other is feeling down.

-Avi knows how to swing dance and Skull can ballroom dance. They often combine these and dance to romantic songs that are not traditionally used for Swing or Classical dancing. Steal The Light by The Cat Empire is a good one

-Skull can do archery so Avi calls him Cupid or Eros sometimes. Depends on how cute he's being. In return Skull calls Avi his Psyche. If you know that myth im kissing you on the lips right now. /p

im stopping myself here or ill go on forever

[leatherbookmarking]

#i'm sorry but this is SO funny #mdzs #even if you just assume that jgy didn't mean it when he confessed to  his death. for some reason #it's clear he had been planning his death anyway and was willing to do it himself...

is it? i guess we’ll have to call it a difference in interpretation, (which. if the text allows there to be one, i’d say it doesn’t state enough stuff as an undisputable fact) because

a, i consider an undisputable fact to be a fact that you can’t dispute with, such as “wwx did practice necromancy” or “wwx and jc loved jyl very much”. there’s enough about it in source text, and you can’t really find anything against it. this is different from, idk, “jc was abusive” or “xy only considered xxc a toy and nothing more”, no matter how certain people will insist they’re true, because it’s literally not mentioned in the text itself, and you’re supposed to work that out on your own, yknow, as a reader with certain skills.

b,

“i killed my brother” jin zixuan, i assume. did he? he only told him where wwx is going. the rest was out of his grasp: it was jzx who went there, jzx who tried to intervene, and wwx who’s lost control over his zombie friend. are we to assume jgy was so clever he was 100% confident this would happen, resulting in jzx’s death? when there are so many things that could go differently? that would make him a bit of a lousy murderer, wouldn’t it

“killed my wife” qin su... pretty famously snatched the dagger out of jgy’s grasp and stabbed herself. again, lousy killer jgy strikes back -- if he wanted qin su dead dead, there were other ways to do it than stand next to her with a dagger. like she could have. not taken it from him. and again, there are people 100% confident that ooooobviously it was a murder, but there are people, including me, who doubt that, which kinda excludes jgy murdering qin su from the undisputable fact club.

if anything, these deaths have one thing in common: if jgy didn’t do certain things, they could have been avoided. but yknow, if there are two fast food places nearby, and i tell my hungry friend to go to the one in a location that has much more street traffic and some accidenta have happened in the past, is it explicitly my fault if this friend gets in an accident?

or looking at it from the other side -- “father”’s death was arranged specifically as a murder plot, “teacher” was wrh that jgy choked to death with a guqin string or perhaps nmj, whose jgy also very much killed by repeatedly and willingly coming and playing him the remixed song of tranquility. “allowing your brother to go to a potentially dangerous place” does not compare to that, especially considering he’s supposed to be a strong cultivator. “standing near your wife with a dagger” does not compare to that, considering the wife should have been immobilized.

so, jgy listing jzx and qs amongst those he killed is, to me, less like a confession of actual killing intent and more of a confession that he feels responsible for those deaths. which is different from willing murder as an undisputable fact, because i would feel guilty after telling my friend to go to the fast food place with more traffic, but it still doesn’t make me a murderer.

now we have even less said about jrs’s death in the text, because at least we’ve “seen” jzx and qs die. it’s unclear, for example, how did he die. poison? assassins? we just don’t know.gif.

the one person who seems to be responsible for like 99% of jgy antis’ conviction that he definitely did kill his son is sect leader yao, who in some circles might be celebrated as the lone warrior for truth and Facts (right until you need a minor irritating antagonist in a wangxian fanfic), but i beg to differ. his merry headcanons do, however, provide a clue as to why jgy could have said that jrs “had to die” and “if we let him grow up, you and i...”

(it’s interesting by the way that we’re debating over an unfinished sentence being a proof of an undisputable fact.)

namely, “children born of incest have higher chances of having developmental disabilities”, to put it gently. i’m pretty sure that whenever did mdzs take action, they didn’t have advanced studies of that topic, suggesting, for example, that any genetical stuff is less likely to happen the less the parents are related. jgy is someone who -- having lived his whole life with his mother’s ocupation thrown in his face, with people considering it absolutely okay to harass him, with people refusing to touch the things he’s touched in public -- is very sensitive to people’s opinions and how they can ruin a person. let’s assume jrs survives. can jgy be sure that he won’t be different from other children his age? can he be sure that the second he shows a weakness or does something differently, people won’t blame it on his bad blood? can he be sure no one in the world knows that he and qs are related? no. and he’s right, because look what was in that letter.

this is what he probably means by saying “you and i”. if we assume jgy knows that children of incest have a chance to be Different, then he probably knows about the consequences of having a “weird” child in his, and qin su’s, position. their reputation would be in danger, not in the “jgy can’t become the king of the world” sense but rather “jgy is dirty and his blood is bad because he’s the son of a whore” as well as “and qin su is dirty too, because she slept with him” as well as “poor qin sect, their daughter whored herself to a whore’s son and now they have a weird little kid together”. i won’t even think about the way the society would treat jrs himself.

this, i think, is what he meant. the three of them, and their families, would be ruined, and he knew it. he probably was aware of it when qin su told him she’s pregnant, when she gave bith to jrs, and for every day of jrs’s life. if so, then why didn’t he give qs abortifacient tea? or why did he wait with this murder, why didn’t he have jrs killed a couple of days after he was born? we don’t know, we don’t have enough #data. here, jrs is like qs and jzx, except that he’s a child. if jgy is aware that jrs should never have been born, and if jrs -- his son -- died, then as a parent he feels responsible for it.

this still doesn’t make him specifically, willingly, “i am going to do this thing so that he dies” murdering jrs an undisputable fact. again, if i say okay to my kid going to the fast food place, no matter how many times i say “be careful”, if they get in an accident and die, a/ i’m going to feel horribly guilty, even saying that i killed my child because i could have done this, or that, or that, b/ i’m still not guilty in a way that, yknow, i didn’t hit my child with a car, c/ i am, however, responsible for my child.

does that mean jgy either killed jrs with his own hands or had him assassinated? does that mean he was aware of a potential assassination plot and did nothing to stop it? does that mean he wasn’t aware and didn’t/couldn’t stop it in time, and despite knowing that this way it’s better for his and qin su’s public opinions, felt guilty and bad about his child dying?

we don’t know, we don’t have all the facts!

ergo, not an undisputable fact.

also whenever people say jgy killed his own child like it's an undisputable fact I'm like Source please