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There was no lead up, no follow up. Just a thrown dagger aimed at my heart.

(I love this person)

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Hollywood archaeology: Secret treasure! Hidden maps! Ancient tombs!

Actual archaeology:

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Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

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Verily, man, this wizard peace is splendid. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "spirits o' field and vineyard" or something along those lines, and every one around him was showered in fresh-baked pastries and loaves, had their cups fill with aged wine, and then were soothed by a warm summer breeze. The minstrels didn't even sing his praises, that's what a joyous time this is. And here I've just been casting calming dew and level 2 aura of cheer. I think I just heard "power word: dessert" two groups over. I gotta get over there.

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come on barbie let's go party

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Today, out of an abundance (i hope?) of caution, I went to get my IUD replaced early. It won't need it for about a year and a half, but by then, who knows if they'll be allowed in the US.

Anyway, they have to give the "here are the benefits and the risks" talks before doing the procedure, and the NP noted the one that's THE horror story of IUDs, uterine perforation, which is about exactly what it sounds like and is probably as scary as it sounds. But it's also pretty dang rare. I've had this IUD for 6.5 years and I got the spiel before, so I causally mentioned back that (because of my long-time friend's mom who is an anesthesiologist) I had heard more of the "baby being born holding the IUD stories."

I went on, "Listen, it just came with a free toy! I mean it's probably a choking hazard, but if you didn't want it anyway...."

Let me tell you, I did NOT expect that cheery NP in a sequin-studded sweater to be so tickled by that Tim Minchin-ass joke that she pulled up a note on the computer to jot it down.

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I used to work part-time for Penzeys!!! I am also not sponsored, and I haven't worked there in several years now, but I always want to recommend them.

On the whole, they've been a great company from the start, and they care about people and the world, and they aren't afraid to be vocal and blunt about their beliefs. They have great products for decent prices (especially given the quality) that often go on sale for even less—and from November til the New Year, they tend to go even harder on deals. I love to bake and go through vanilla fast, and I don't get it anywhere else, and I usually buy it when it's at least 15% off.

Going to add some recommendations below a cut!

If you want any blends, I'll point you to my favorite multi-purpose blends of Sunny Paris, Northwoods, and Tuscan Sunset! (Fox Point is a favorite of many customers, but it's basically Sunny Paris with fewer herbs and garlic and salt added, and I can add Garlic to SP myself if I need it.)

Less multipurpose blends I'd highly recommend are the Now Curry Powder, Hot Cocoa Mix, Brady Street Sprinkle, Chicago Steak/Quebec Beef, and Sicilian blends. They have tons of more niche options if you look for them!

Their plain herbs/spices/extracts are also wonderful, and they have a good range of items carried, so I will only buy from Penzeys unless a very specific item isn't carried. They have many salt-free options, and everything should be gluten-free.

They have premade and build your own gift boxes of a few sizes if you want to get something for someone who's hosting, just moved, or simply loves to cook and/or bake. It's useful and I think still thoughtful if you go for something catered to their cooking interests.

For anyone in the US, Penzeys the infamously anti-Trump spice store is running a deal today and tomorrow (12-13th of December) where everything in the store is 50% off IN store and 25% off online with code: RESIST

I’m not sponsored or affiliated. Just someone who likes Penzeys and am about to restock my entire spice cupboard for considerably less than it would normally cost.

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some of my favs

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Just taking a little break

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Sometimes the world is just silly and strange and you happen to say the exact right thing to the right person.

When I was working at the sex shop we had this one toy by Jimmy Jane. They gave store reps one as a freebie which was genius because we instantly converted to believers after being initially very skeptical.

The toys were small and pretty cute, but no one thought they’d pack much of a punch. The best of the lot looked like one of the little Totoros, two little pink ears sticking up from a rounded body. Unfortunately most customers would say it looked like a tooth.

So one day I’m showing it to a man looking for a gift for his girlfriend. “It has a motor in each ear, and it can pass the vibration back and forth between them. Fully submersible, it’s rechargeable, and really powerful for it size.”

He was just looking at it in intently.

“Are you going to say it looks like a tooth?”

He laughed, “Yes.”

“I get it. Personally I always thought it looks more like a cute rabbit, I’m always tempted to draw googly eyes on it.”

His expression froze and I stopped laughing, wondering what I could have said that so thoroughly checked him. Without a word he slowly reached down into his pocket and pulled something out.

“I think these are for you.”

If he’d had different vibes I wouldn’t have reached out my hand to accept his offering but up to that moment he’d just seemed like an awkward engineer type. I opened my hand to look at what he’d given me.

Two nicely cutout handmade cardboard googly eyes.

I lost it. “Why do you have these?!” I gasped between bursts of laughter.

“I made them! I always keep some on me, because you never know when you’ll see an opportunity to add eyes to something! But I think you should have these.”

I was absolutely delighted and after I rang him up for the toy I decided to tape them to our scanner. I couldn’t put them on the display toy but every time I used the scanner I’d laugh all over again about saying just the right thing to make someone pull handmade googly eyes out of his pocket.

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The discount code "artlover20" gives you a 20% discount and it still works until Monday!

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now 2 beanie baby dragons are crossing your dash together :3

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