#aeg;aoirjg;aoregji

[kingofthewilderwest]

You know, there's one more insane-ass thing that happened, if we divert our attention from the viola playing and towards the ex-girlfriend thing.

After years of failing to tolerate each other in orchestra, having multiple branches of school administration get involved with our ex-relationship (I am not proud of my actions. I have since improved), I was relieved to see a horizon without her. It was time to get distance.

I had gone on to get more degrees than necessary, falsely equivocating "dragon hoard of diplomas" with "impressiveness." I got a concurrent Masters and Bachelors in Linguistics, a Bachelors in Philosophy, a Minor in Leadership, a Certificate in Cognitive Science, and, of course, that Bachelors of Music in Composition. I had applied to multiple schools for linguistics and got accepted into a PhD program where my advisor would be someone my masters advisor had studied under and whose research I'd taken a reading interest in.

This PhD program was 1400 miles away from my current university.

On the first day of orientation for PhD students, I ran into her.

I ran into HER.

My ex and I independently applied for and got accepted into the same grad school half the country away.

Motherfuckers, I quit that program in less than a year, and that was part of the reason why.

Viola is the most gorgeous-sounding instrument on the planet, but how I became a violist in music school is one of the dumber sets of circumstances I’ve had in music life. You’ve heard of the violinist to violist pipeline? Get ready for… another level beyond THAT.

Guys, I’m a flautist.

And I’m not, like, a slouch on flute? I’m no queen toot toot but I know which end you blow out of. In high school, I was competitive. Nothing extraordinary, but I did all the honor ensembles and made first chair flute All State Orchestra. Ahhh, the memories! XD

I came into my freshman year of college as a philosophy and linguistics double-major, then quickly realized I NEEEEDED formal music again. I was crawling up the walls. I was writhing on the floors. I was ready to eat wallpaper. I was prepared to do anything to get back into the music world.

So in my sophomore year I added music composition as a degree.

I auditioned in with piano and flute as my mains. In addition to the private composition lessons, I was signed up for private piano lessons (flute slots were limited to people getting a degree in flute - understandable enough).

But then came ensemble requirements. Something you’d think would be the easiest and most flexible thing to take care of. This was a good school. Please, not Curtis or Julliard or a conservatory or something, but a good school. We had LOTS of ensembles. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, grab an ensemble and go, right?

Naw.

To graduate, we had to enroll in one ensemble every semester. You couldn’t double up to complete the requirement faster and it had to be on your primary instrument. I was already at a disadvantage because I was doing the degree in three years. Thankfulllly, thankfully, the administration gave me an exception and allowed me to double up for credits.

Didn’t solve all my issues, though. Because here’s the thing: everyone in the flute studio could play circles around me. A composition major without flute instruction is not going to be able to compete with a performance major learning from some of the best people in the country.

So. By their own rules. I could neither get lessons on my primary nor would I have the chance of auditioning into a single ensemble on my primary.

This meant the only ensemble I could get into was the non-audition, lowest tier band. And because there was marching band during fall semesters, that meant the lowest tier band only met in the spring. So that gave me… 3 out of the 8 ensemble credits I needed on my primary.

And I’m looking at the administration, like, “Dudes, you have to work with me. Not getting my degree because I can’t get a few 1 credit ensemble courses is bat guano.” But my other primary, piano, was even more limited for ensemble credit options. What to do? What to do?

Well. In high school. I had a viola teacher. Sort of. I mean, I dated her. She offered to teach me viola during the summers, I paid her a little cash, and we more often than not paid attention to the viola before paying attention to other matters.

Humorous description aside, we were classmates in the same grade. We just happened to make a viola lesson arrangement within our broader relationship. This wasn't the only time we made such arrangements; I later taught her younger sister flute. And like, lessons were a convenient way to meet regularly without our families cuing in on our non-viola relationship.

We had a nasty falling out. So nasty. We were dumb. I was dumb. Don’t need to get into details. But I got two summers’ worth of viola lessons out of this and I owned a cheap@$$ viola I bought secondhand for $100 USD.

So. With my grand total of less than a year of “formal” [cough] viola instruction, where I could barely aim my bow at the correct string, I suggested This Great Music College should accept viola for my ensemble credits. Then I could enroll in the non-audition orchestra. Which, unlike its band counterpart, DID meet every semester. So, between the 3 ensemble credits for band and the 6 ensemble credits of orchestra, I COULD get my required 8+ credits acquired.

This plan was agreed upon.

So now I’m a flautist officially turned violist. A viola-approximate pestilence they can’t get rid of. Every semester they have to hear my yowling and know this is the grave of their own making. We must lie in it. I am second desk viola, not because of merit, but because I’m a music major, and I guess that meant I got preference. I did their optional chair auditions, they accepted that as "good enough," now here I am near the front. I am not where I should be. At all. Last year I was playing the flute solo of Dvorak's Eighth. Now I'm on Dvorak's Eighth near the front of the violas. What.

My problems were ended, though, right? I got what I wanted, right?

Well. There’s one final stupidity in this venture.

You see..... my “viola teacher.” My ex-partner. My now-turned-enemy. Had also enrolled in this college.

And was our section leader.