#adult pelican

[marlynnofmany]

Hey, do you think Quetzalcoatlus used to bite everything like pelicans do?

I'm picturing this one trying an exploratory nibble on the elephant beastie in the background, with a predictable lack of success.

[ambermaitrejean]

May in Rocky Mountain Arsenal National Wildlife Refuge. Commerce City, Colorado. Photos by Amber Maitrejean

[meat-pvppet]

With the lore im making of my stardew farmer it makes me think about how he always goes to visit his grandparent's farm in the summers when he was in kindergarten-elementary and how, maybe, he used to play with shane, emily and haley when they were both young little kids

[tathracyn]

*Assume Batman characters are placed in the Stardew setting, and over half the townsfolk are Rogues

[fishofthewoods]

I see a lot of people clowning on the people of Pelican Town for not repairing the community center themselves or clowning on Lewis for embezzling and. like. Those criticisms aren't entirely unfair. But I think instead of coming at it from a perspective of "why can't the townspeople do this" we should be asking "why and how can the farmer do this?"

Like. Think about it. The farmer arrives in Stardew Valley on the first day of spring. By the first day they're obviously different. By day five the spirits of the forest who haven't been seen by the townsfolk in years or generations are speaking to them. By the second week they've developed a rapport with the wizard that lives outside town.

In the spring they go foraging and find more than even Linus, who's spent so many years learning the ways of the valley. Maybe he knows, when he sees them walking back home. Maybe he looks at them and understands that they're different, chosen somehow.

In the summer they fish in the lakes and the ocean for hours on end, catching fish that even Willy's only ever heard of, fish that he thought were the stuff of legend. They pull up giants from the deep and mutated monstrosities from the sewers.

In the fall, their crops grow incredibly immense; pumpkins twice as tall as a person, big enough that someone could live inside. The farmer cuts it down with an axe without even batting an eye. Does Lewis wonder, when he checks the collection bin that night and finds it full to the brim with pumpkin flesh? What does he think? Does he even leave the money? Does he have the funds to pay the farmer millions of dollars for the massive amounts of wine they sell? Or is it someone--something--else entirely?

In the winter, the farmer delves into the mines. No one in Pelican Town has been down there in decades. No one in living memory has been to the bottom. The farmer gets there within the season. They return to the surface with stories of dwarven ruins and shadow people, stories they only tell to Vincent and Jas, whose retellings will be dismissed by the adults as flights of fancy. People walking by the entrance to the mines sometimes hear the farmer in there, speaking in a language no one can understand. Something speaks back.

The farmer speaks to the the wizard. They speak to the spirit of a bear inside a centuries-old stone. They speak to the shadow people and the dwarves, ancient enemies, and they try to mend the rift. They speak to the Junimos, ancient spirits of the forest and the river and the mountain. They taste the nectar of the stardrops and speak to the valley itself. They change Pelican Town, and they change the valley. Things are waking up.

And what does Evelyn think? She's the oldest person in the valley; she was here when the farmer's grandfather was young. (How old *is* she, anyway? She never seems to age. She doesn't remember the year she was born.) Does she see the farmer and think of their grandfather? Does she try to remember if he was like this too, strange and wild and given the gifts of the forest?

And does their grandfather haunt the valley? He haunts the farm, still there even after his death; his body died somewhere else, but his spirit could never stay away for long. Does Abigail, using her ouija board on a stormy night, almost drop the planchette when she realizes it's moving on its own? Does Shane, walking to work long before anyone else leaves their house, catch glimpses of a wispy figure floating through the town? Does the farmer know their grandfather came back to the place they both love so much?

Mr. Qi takes interest in the farmer. He's different, too; in a different way, maybe, but the principles are the same. They're both exceptional, and no matter what Qi says about it being hard work and dedication, they both know the truth: the world bends around the both of them, changing to fit their needs. Most people aren't visited by fairies or witches. Most people don't have meteorites crash in their yard. Most people couldn't chop down trees all day without a break or speak to bears and mice and frogs.

The farmer is different. The rules of the world don't work for them the way they work for everyone else. The farmer goes fishing and finds the stuff of fairy tales. The farmer goes mining and fights shadow beasts and flying snakes. The farmer looks at paths the townspeople walk every day and finds buried in the dirt relics of lost civilizations.

The farmer is a violent, irrepressible miracle, chosen by the valley and destined to return to it someday. Even if they'd never received the letter, they would've come home.

They always come home eventually.

[planet4546b]

image id: a photo of a juvenile brown pelican mid-dive, with its head pointed toward the water and it’s wings bent sharply. end id.

[sting-raes]

I wish people didn't list "they still live with their parents" as a reason not to like the younger love interests in stardew valley.

Like. It's a small town, where do you want them to move into? Surely they can't all bunk with the farmer. Rent would be even higher in the city and the only one who seems to express a want to live there is Sebastian. Even then, it's more out of a desire to escape his dismal family life than to actually leave Pelican Town.

Where would they even get the money? Abigail's taking online college classes, Sam's already working part time at Jojamart, Sebastian's the only one out of the ASS trio with a semblance of a conventional "day job" but freelance doesn't pay consistently.

Pierre, Shane and Harvey all talk about barely scraping by, and they all work full time. Shane doesn't even have his own place to live in.

It's also worth mentioning that whether or not you live alone shouldn't be a measure of your maturity. Where I'm from it's the norm for many adults to still live with their families, so I never thought it strange that they'd be living with their parents.

If you don't like any member of the ASS trio because they act immature, that's another thing and at that point it's just down to personal preference. But I really don't like it when people cite their living situation as part of the reason.

[anubisfarm]

Virigin!Harvey

Synopsis - Virgin!Harvey Headcanons.

Warnings - NSFW.

Word Count - 2.1k.

{Caffeinate Me}

: ̗̀➛ Doctor Harvey is a virgin, with little to no experience with women. 

: ̗̀➛ He spent his teenage and adult life studying and training to become a doctor, relationships and women were the last thing on his mind. 

: ̗̀➛ So when you came to Pelican Town as the new farmer, his entire world was turned upside down. 

: ̗̀➛ You were kind, caring, beautiful and smart. Everything he had ever dreamt of in a partner. 

: ̗̀➛ From the get go, Harvey was nervous around you. More nervous than he was in social situations, and a permanent blush was strapped to his cheeks whenever you were in the clinic. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey quickly developed feelings for you and always wanted you to walk through the clinic doors with gifts of coffee and pickles like you usually did twice a week. 

: ̗̀➛ He knew he had it bad for you when he began dreaming about you. Sweet, gentle dreams of picnic dates and laying in bed together during those cold winter mornings, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. He knew you’d just look stunning in the mornings. 

: ̗̀➛ Then the erotic dreams started. Visions of you naked and sprawled out beneath him as he thrusted into you haphazardly plagued his dreams each night. The way you would moan and whimper as he hit that spot just right inside of you had him seeing stars in his dreams, and a feeling of disappointment when he woke up with a straining and painful erection. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey hardly masturbated, though when he woke up from those types of dreams, he couldn’t help but stroke his cock until he spurted out rope after rope of creamy, thick, white liquid. He would moan your name over and over again like it was some sort of prayer to Yoba. 

: ̗̀➛ The first time he had touched himself to the thoughts of you and his dreams, Harvey felt deep shame and guilt as his release washed over him. You were too precious to have such dirty acts done to the thought of you, but he couldn’t help himself either. The feeling of euphoria when he came was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. 

: ̗̀➛ Then when he saw you, Harvey couldn’t look you in the eyes. He was scared you would be able to mindread and see all the filthy scenarios he had put you in. All the dirty things he thought about doing to you. 

: ̗̀➛ You came for your a routine check-up a year after moving to the village. The examination was to check that your health was in good condition, and that you were as healthy as possible - Harvey’s worst fear was that you were draining yourself on that farm. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey discussed both your physical and mental health while trying to remain as professional as possible though his thoughts were betraying him. Of course you chose the sunniest day of the year to wear the most revealing sundress he had ever seen you wear in the past year. And of course it was on the day he had to check you over. He was beyond flustered and nervous, and of course, you quickly came to know it. 

: ̗̀➛ A sly smirk had appeared on your lips as Harvey’s gaze kept flickering down to your cleavage, something that you didn’t miss. The way his mouth hung open and dried out as he spoke to you, trying anything he could to stop his cock from becoming solid at the sight of you. 

: ̗̀➛ “Is something the matter, Doctor?” You had purred, leaning across his desk further accentuating your cleavage. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey didn’t know what to say in that moment. He looked down at your tits once more before looking back into your eyes, a look of desperation flashed across his face. 

: ̗̀➛ “Why don’t you kiss me?” You whispered, leaning further across the desk until your forehead was almost touching his. Harvey’s mind was spinning. Did you really just ask him that? Did you really want him to kiss you? You looked at him with pleading eyes and Harvey immediately closed the small gap between you, pressing his lips clumsily against yours. 

: ̗̀➛ As soon as his lips met yours, you couldn’t help the groan that left your throat. It was everything you’d imagined it to be: slow and clumsy, yet passionate and loving at the same time.  

: ̗̀➛ You kissed back equally as passionately, pouring all of your affections for the older doctor into the kiss. It was obvious to everyone but him, how in love you were. 

: ̗̀➛ You pulled away from the kiss and climbed over his desk, almost seductively until you were planted firmly on his lap. Your legs were straddling either side of his waist as you grinded down against him, his covered erection pressing against your clothed sex. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey couldn’t help but let out a groan as you rolled your hips against his. Your tongue prodded past his lips and into his mouth, forcing the older man to stiffen up. 

: ̗̀➛ You felt Harvey tense up and you pulled away from his lips. “What’s wrong?” You asked him sweetly, your hands resting on his chest. 

: ̗̀➛ “I’ve never…” He trailed off and you raised an eyebrow for him to continue. Shamefully, he looked away from you. “I’ve never had sex before.”

: ̗̀➛ You couldn’t say you were totally surprised after all, the older doctor certainly didn’t have an aura of experience surrounding him. You just nodded your head in understanding and muttered “I’ll be gentle,” before kissing him again softly. 

: ̗̀➛ Taken by surprise at your understanding, Harvey let out a groan and let his body do the work. His hips bucked up against yours, the friction between his erection and your clothed heat felt too good for him. 

: ̗̀➛ You lifted your sundress up so it was bunched up around your waist exposing your black laced panties as you continued kissing the doctor. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey pulled away from your lips to look down at your exposed underwear, his mouth running dry at the sight. He couldn’t believe this was really happening, and with you out of all the people in Pelican Town. There was no denying that Harvey felt lucky. 

: ̗̀➛ Your fingers pushed your underwear to the side, exposing your glistening pussy. You slicked two fingers up your folds, gathering some wetness onto the pads of your digits before bringing them up to Harvey’s lips. “Taste me.” 

: ̗̀➛ Obeying your order like he was a trained puppy, Harvey opened his dry mouth and you pushed your wet fingers past his lips. Immediately, his tongue wrapped around your fingers, sucking and licking the wetness off of them like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. He moaned around your fingers and continued sucking on them until you eventually pulled them away, leaning down to press a kiss against his lips. 

: ̗̀➛ You slid off his lap and began to unbuckle his trousers, tugging them and his underwear around his ankles. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey felt all the air leave his lungs the second his cock sprang free, hitting his stomach. His tip was red and leaking mass amounts of precum. It was so inviting you couldn’t help but lower your mouth down onto him, earning a gasp of pleasure from him in response. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey’s hips bucked up even more until he was practically hovering off his seat, pushing his cock further into your mouth. The feeling of your tight, wet mouth around him felt so good and it was so much better than stroking his cock to thoughts of you. 

: ̗̀➛ The tip of Harvey’s cock reached the back of your throat causing you to gag slightly around him, tears pooling your eyes. He wanted to pull away and ask if you were okay, but you kept sucking and swirling your tongue around his tip like you were some kind of expert. He couldn’t help but let out a moan as his hips continued to thrust into your mouth. 

: ̗̀➛ After a few minutes, you pulled away leaving a string of saliva from his cockhead to your lips before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and smiling sweetly at him. Harvey’s face was flushed red, and his own tears of pleasure were threatening to spill from his eyes. 

: ̗̀➛ You stood up and hooked your thumbs around your underwear, pulling them down and stepping out of them. Then, without hesitation, you spun around and gave Harvey a little wiggle. Taunting him with your ass. 

: ̗̀➛ He wanted to reach out and grab handfuls of the soft flesh between his fingers, desperate to feel you, but you had already turned back around and were already lowering yourself onto him. 

: ̗̀➛ The second his engorged tip reached your entrance, Harvey let out a hiss, feeling the heat as you continued to lower yourself down onto him. Inch by inch, his cock disappeared into your cunt and Harvey couldn’t help but roll his eyes back into his head. 

: ̗̀➛ You gave yourself a few seconds to adjust to his thick length before you began to experimentally move your hips. You were slow, at first, giving Harvey some time to really feel your tightness around him. Then, you finally began to bounce faster and he immediately saw stars. Harvey grabbed your hips, squeezing the soft flesh between his large hands but let you do the work. He had no idea what he was doing, after all. 

: ̗̀➛ “You feel so good,” Harvey says between pants, his hips slightly bucking up to meet yours. “So tight and warm.” 

: ̗̀➛ “Mhm,” you mumble softly, pressing your lips against his neck and sucking softly on his throat. “All for you Harvey.”

: ̗̀➛ Harvey swears his breath catches in his throat at your words, and at the feeling of your bouncing on his lap like some kind of common whore. His mind is quickly turning to mush as your hips continue their movements. 

: ̗̀➛ He looks down, watching with awe as his cock appears and disappears into your tight heat, his hips finally finding a rhythm with your own. Soft moans leave your lips against his throat and Harvey knows he’s so fucking close. 

: ̗̀➛ “Wait, Y/N… I’m going to cum.”

: ̗̀➛ “Cum for me Harvey. Please,” you beg, your voice a whisper as you gaze into his eyes. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey gives a nod and allows himself to let go, thrusting himself up into you as his cock begins to twitch. He’s threatening to explode any minute now and he just wants to paint your insides white. 

: ̗̀➛ “Look at me when you cum, Harvey,” you demand. The older doctor nods, his eyes looking into yours. 

: ̗̀➛ You bite your bottom lip and that’s all that's needed for Harvey to finally blow his load. His hips stutter as he fucks up into you, groan after groan of pure bliss leaving his throat. He spills himself shamelessly inside of you until he’s practically dripping out of you despite his cock still plugging you up. 

: ̗̀➛ With panting breaths, Harvey presses a soft kiss of adoration to your lips. A silent thank you for taking his virginity in the best way possible. 

: ̗̀➛ You kiss back happily before you slide yourself off his lap and grab your panties from the floor, handing them to him. “I expect these back at some point,” you whisper, winking to him. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey pulls up his trousers and underwear, and with shaky hands takes your underwear before stuffing them into his pocket with a shy expression. You offer him a sweet smile. 

: ̗̀➛ You smooth your dress down and watch as Harvey sits at his desk, eyes wide with longing and desire. 

: ̗̀➛ “I take it my check-up is all okay?” You ask teasingly. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey chuckles slightly and nods his head. “Yes, everything is okay,” he then takes the initiative. “You should come back next week for a more… thorough examination.”

: ̗̀➛ You raise an eyebrow and smirk. “I’ll book another appointment then.” 

: ̗̀➛ As you leave the room, Harvey feels his heartbeat finally slowing down as the realisation sets in. You took his virginity and Yoba did it feel good. He was already anticipating your next meeting at his office, hoping that you will have booked another ‘health check’ for a week's time. 

: ̗̀➛ Harvey sat down at his desk chair, allowing his thoughts to run wild when a notification popped up on his computer. A new appointment had been booked with you… for tomorrow. He already couldn’t wait.

[chungledown-bimothy]

The Fix's Facts

The Big Guy:

-For every snake, there is one snake dick. Snakes have 2 dicks. (said thrice)

The Scattered Mind:

-The tails on a swallowtail butterfly's wings don't serve any aerodynamic purpose. They're there so birds will grab them, at which point they'll break off and the swallowtail can escape.

-Eyes can't be itchy. They, unlike the membranes around them, don't have itch receptors.

-More than half the bones in your body are in your hands and feet.

F For Freezer: (and for facts!)

-The urethra contains taste receptors

-When eagles grip onto something, they have to flex a muscle to let go. An eagle can hold onto something so hard that even after it dies, it never lets go.

-Most of the pyramids on Earth are in Sudan.

-Pelicans have three stomachs, one of which is just for bones.

-Acids are easy to detect, oxygen and carbon dioxide are not. But when carbon dioxide meets water, like it does in our blood, it creates carbonic acid. This means our bodies can detect the presence of carbon dioxide, but not the presence or absence of oxygen.

If we are deprived of oxygen, we have no idea that that is happening as long as we are breathing out carbon dioxide. If we are not breathing oxygen, we just go to sleep and die. But if we allow the CO2 to build up, we panic. We flail. We break. Until finally, we die.

Grappling With Death:

-People can have constipation so bad that it will back up and impact their vagus nerve. As they are eliminating that impacted stool, it can have an effect on the nervous system so great that they forget who they are. Constipation-related amnesia. A woman in Tokyo forgot who she was for 8 hours.

-Bones are living.

-The reason we produce blood inside of our bones is because it's one of the places that's safest from UV radiation.

-There are some birds that can produce a nutritious substance that's a kind of milk. It's almost like lactation, but it evolved separately (convergent evolution). Pigeons do it.

-There are some salamanders that feed their babies their own skin

BONUS ROUND: Brennan "Bird Facts" Lee Mulligan

-There are some species of birds that have a secondary pouch in their esophagus/digestive tract where they have what's called a craw, that has stones or other hard material to help break up food matter before it passes into the rest of their digestive tract.

-Woodpeckers have a tongue bone called a hyoid bone that wraps around their brain because it needs to protect their brain from the impact of pounding into trees to devour their common meal items, grubs and larval insects.

Emergency Powers:

-You can't hum while you're blocking your nose.

-The longest animal is the bootlace worm.

-There are some reptiles that have a light-sensing organ on the top of their head so they can sense shadows that might be coming from something that's coming for them.

BONUS ROUND 2: Brennan's Back, Baby

-The black mamba has been observed at top speeds of 12.5 miles per hour. At that speed, it would almost certainly catch even some of the fastest humans on the planet. Even faster people wouldn't have the stamina, because resting or average speed is 7.5 miles an hour, which is faster than the human average, which is 6, and that's for healthy adults.

-The reticulated python is the longest snake in the world. The biggest is the anaconda.

Case Closed:

-There's little creatures in the sea that make pretty little lights. Why would they do that? It attracts little fishes who suck them up, and the light makes the fish glow. This attracts more little fish.

-The North Pole is actually a South Pole, because when you look at a compass, it points north. But the north pole of the compass is what's pointing north, and north poles point to the south poles.

BONUS ROUND 3: Once More, With Feeling

-Diners originate from dining cars on trains. The first diners were the dining cars of trains that had been taken out of service and were used stationarily as restaurants.

[babiebom]

Hey brother, I am humbly requesting a SDV Sam (or Alex) fic about the harvest festival & the fortune teller. I just think it’s a cute idea to see what the fortune teller says to Sam before/after meeting the farmer

A/N: this is such a cute idea!! Since this is more of a one shot request I can do both on this post? Hopefully by the time you see this it isn’t too far into the future!! Hopefully you enjoy how I wrote this!! Sorry it took a little while!

Genre:oneshot, fluff, some angst.

Tw:mention of death, mention of depression/insecurities, cursing, 2 mentions of the war that goes on in the game.

Wc: 0.5k for Alex / 0.5k for Sam

Sdv Masterlist

Alex

Alex was never one to go visit the fortune teller. He simply doesn’t really believe in magic, or the ability to see the future. Sure, there was the weird wizard that lived near the forest, and the monsters that live in the caves, but those were just outliers and didn’t have anything to do with the general population. The first and only time he went to it as an adult, was with Haley. He hated his fortune then, it tore down all his dreams and put him into an even more insecure place than he was in before.

No mom, no dad, and aging grandparents and now the woman in the tent is telling him that his current girlfriend isn’t his soulmate or the one he will end up with, and they’re saying his gridball career won’t take off and he’s going to end up in Pelican Town for the rest of his life? Actual dogshit.

It’s his own fault that he asked in the first place, he thinks. Haley wasn’t too mad with her fortune, and she didn’t seemed all that torn up about the fortune teller saying they weren’t meant for each other. It just pissed him off even more. Did this mean they were going to break up? Should they? Did he even have to listen or believe the fortune teller? It was probably just bullshit anyways, a scam to get idiots to spend more money to find out their future because she scared them. He’s never doing the stupid fortune thing again!

“Let’s do the fortune teller!” Your eyes are shining so brightly with excitement that he can’t say no. Obviously he hates the damned scam, and he didn’t have to agree but he liked you too much to disagree with visiting the woman one last time.

You shove him inside first, already looking through your backpack for your coin bag. “You go first.”

He swallows and steps up to the woman, glaring at her openly. She makes no move to react to his obvious discontent, instead waiting for him to dish out money so she could say something else to crush his hopes and dreams. At least you’re in here with him to hear what actual bullshit this is…you’re kicked out of the tent while he’s getting his fortune read.

“Hmm…I see you in the town’s square…it looks like you’re receiving a mermaid pendant. Looks like someone wants to marry you!”

“Marriage? To who?” He hopes that it’s you. You weren’t really in a relationship right now, but he does hope that it’s you giving him that pendant.

“Hmm…you’re watching a gridball match with the other guys in town…looks fun! It seems like you’ve brought everyone together.”

“The crystal ball has moved on…I see you and the farmer. You’re laughing together on the beach, looks like you’re holding a ball. The way you’re going it looks like you two are quite close! Ah…the crystal ball has gone dim. That’s all I can do for you, young one.”

Stepping out of the tent, Alex somehow feels better. He’s going to get married at some point, and you and him are going to be on good terms for a while. Maybe the fortune teller isn’t totally uncool.

Sam

The fortune teller was one of the creepiest attractions of the fair to Sam by far. Magic was something that he thought was cool, inspiring even, but that doesn’t mean he wants anything to do with it. Him, Abigail, and Sebastian get their fortunes read every single year, paying attention to whatever has changed, what has and hasn’t come true. It’s fun and sometimes a little scary when things turn out how the fortune teller said it would.

Abigail liked it the most out of the three. The year before he meets you is the first time in a while that his fortune had changed. The woman had said specifically that “someone was coming to the valley that would bring the budding success of his music.” All he really heard then was that his music career was going to take off at some point, and that’s all he really needed to keep working towards his goal.

You hold his arm tightly as you walk around the fair along with Abigail and Sebastian. It’s your first fair since you’ve come to Pelican Town, and Sam is all too willing to show you around. Besides, Pierre was probably going to win the stupid competition, again, and he wanted to be able to support you closely. Not because he has a crush or anything (he does), he’s just a good friend! “We should show the Farmer the fortune teller! See if they get a good one or not!”

This starts your groups trip to the tent. You seem a bit anxious about getting your fortune read, so like the good friend Sam is, he offers to go first and tell everyone his fortune to show you it isn’t so bad.

The woman smiles at him as he enters, and he immediately returns her positive energy. She always said good thing(except when she predicted his father was going to be deployed because of the war) so he liked her. He paid her quickly and watched as the crystal ball begins to glow.

“I see you performing on a small stage, the person who is going to support your music career is front and center. They are going to be the reason that you are performing so passionately. They buy some of your cd’s to help support you.”

He wonders for a second if that’s you. He had been feeling a little more inspired since you came around, and you never hesitated to praise him and his music when you get a chance to listen to him play in his room. “Hmm…I see you in a big house, something is playing on the television. The children seem excited about whatever is playing, so do you and the farmer. They’re smiling so brightly at you, don’t let them lose that light.”

It absolutely has to be you. He wonders what you’re so happy about, and who the kids are. Are they your kids? Maybe his mind is going too far, especially since a relationship wasn’t mentioned.

“The crystal ball is shifting…your father returns from war. He is safe, and unharmed…but he is not the same as he was. It seems that he is unhappy…oh…”

The crystal ball grows dim, maybe the last bit wasn’t totally good, but the rest of it was. He gets to perform, and you’re there cheering him on. His heart thumps as he exits the tent and meets your eyes. The way you’re looking at him is so bright. He feels excitement full his body, he has so much to look forward to.

[dmfromtheblacklagoon]

It seems people really enjoyed the last headcannon post, so I have returned, this time with headcannons for the non-romanceable characters!

I love all of the characters in this game, and have created so many little dumb ideas for them, so here ya go!

We have confirmation that Linus came from a wealthy family, but put this life aside, donating his money to various charities and organizations to help others, and I like to imagine that he still enjoys working with these charities from time to time, whether this be shelter work, environmental care, or supporting other people!

Willy never had children, but took in Elliot as his own, teaching him everything he would need to know regarding the seas, and quickly takes in Farmer as well, after learning about their love for fishing.

Gus is a trans guy! I don't have any evidence for this, but I just adore Gus so much and need this in my life.

Gunther is a long-time DM, and runs a small group with some of the local teens, and maybe some of the adults! I feel like his fascination of antiques and old treasures has assisted his DMing skills, or possibly the other way around!

Kent has learned how to sew, knit, and garden in order to get closer with Jodi and the kids once he returned to Pelican Town. (He's trying to be a better dad, he already is such a good guy :])

Mr. Qi is quite close with both Sandy and Gus, considering them friends!

Pierre was a college dropout, yet still considers himself a "man of study", I'm sorry, I just can't see this man as anything but an arrogant asshole.

The Wizard is incredibly supportive of the queer folks in the town, and Farmer, and will offer help with anything. Gender change? He's got you. Voice manipulation? He's got the stuff. Just be careful if he invites you to share a pipe!

Marlon and the Wizard are the local salty gay couple, Statler and Waldorf style, and lurk in the back during the flower dance, taking the last dance for themselves.

Pam loves thrifting and going on antiquing sprees with Harvey, and she knows how to absolutely steal a deal, girlie would most definitely punch an old woman over an auction item.

This is all I have atm, but if you want more, please let me know!! I love making stupid little theories for the glorbos. :]

[uncharismatic-fauna]

The Can-do Pelican Eel

The pelican eel, also known as the gulper eel (Eurypharynx pelecanoides), are the only known species of eel in the family Eurypharyngidae. They are found exclusively in the deeper parts of the water column, from depths of 500 up to to 3,000 m (1,600 to 9,800 ft), but are distributed throughout all the world's oceans.

The gulper eel is perhaps most famous for its unique body shape. Like many deep-sea fish, this species is highly adapted to its environment; maximum energy efficiency is the highest priority. To that end, the pelican eel has a large head, and a jaw estimated to be quarter of the total length of its body. The jaw is loosely hinged, meaning that gulper eels can open their mouths extremely wide. The rest of the eel, in contrast, is quite slender and long, about 0.75 m (2.5 ft) in length on average. Most individuals are black--so black, in fact, that they only reflect 0.5% of light; perfect for hiding from potential predators.

Although they look skinny, E. pelecanoides can expand their stomachs to hold prey much larger than themselves. Their primary prey consists of crustaceans and cephalopods, though they may feed opportunistically on other fish. Because it is so well camouflaged, it uses bioluminescent organs on the tip of its tail to attract prey. Gulper eels themselves are preyed upon by lancetfish and other larger deep-sea fish. To deter predators, they will gulp down a large amount of water; this stretches the loose skin around their head and throat, and inflates them to several times their usual size.

Because of their remote location, the breeding habits of gulper eels are relatively unknown. However, it is believed that smell plays a large part in attracting a mate, as pelican eels have highly developed olfactory organs. Like other eels, they're born as tiny, transparent larvae in a state known as the leptocephalus stage. At this stage, they do not have any red blood cells. Researchers aren't sure how long it takes gulper eels to become fully mature, or how long they live, but many believe that adults die shortly after mating.

Conservation status: The population size of E. pelecanoides has not been assessed, and thus the IUCN has not made a determination on its status. The greatest threat for this species is deep-sea trawling, which frequently brings up gulper eels as by-catch.

Photos/Video

Paul Caiger

Schmidt Ocean Institute

EV Nautilus Team (I highly recommend checking out their 2023 highlights reel!)

[renegade0897]

His fans keep saying "he's just a child. He's young. He's not thinking straight because he's still a kid."

These over the top lovey-dovey cult fans of his keep making excuses to defend him from the stupidity he keeps on doing. Listen you ignant fucks, if your driver likes making snide comments and openly goes into a tantrum when he loses or makes these stupid angry faces like a fucking disgruntled pelican who got his phone confiscated, or he thinks a manbaby dictatorial asshole in the making "deserves respect", OR THINKS CHOKING WOMEN IS ACTUALLY MANLY" and thinks these things are just random ramblings from an child, let me point this out to you.

He's a fucking 24yr. old human being with the brain of a toddler with tantrum problems. Don't give me the mental health bullshit because honestly he's just using that as a cover to make himself appear likeable and sympathetic. HE IS A GROWN-ASS ADULT and he knows right from wrong. I guess he doesn't because he can't even maintain his winning streaks to a consistent pace compared to his younger "psychopath" teammate as you describe him.

Your driver is a fucking immature, childish, idiotic asshole who thinks he's the king of the sport after performing well in a single season, THE FIRST FUCKING TIME HE'S DONE IN HIS 5 FUCKING YEARS IN F1!! Compared to his teammate who has reached the same amount of wins as he did in the shortest amount of time.

I have just about had it up to my cranium seeing posts on social media defending this prick by saying "he's just a kid." NO! HE IS NOT A KID ANYMORE.

For fuck's sakes just fuck off already and yes.

I AM ACTUALLY PRAYING HE DOESN'T WIN THE WDC this season and Max takes it from him.

[seinenkai]

"Cursed Eyes."

Gojo Satoru x Male Reader

Reader is implied as transgender and is seen as a young adult (25yrs old) and he's a vessel. First chapter is taken place in Jujutsu Kaisen 0 The Movie so MAJOR Spoilers. Slow burn probably.

C/TW; transphobia, implied grooming, swear words/cussing.

This is my first (lazy) fic lol. Depends if I'll continue this or nawt.

It was 2017, you were looking out the window out of boredom until you hear someone.

"L/n." Geto called out, beckoning the boy over.

"I told you to call me Y/n. We're close after all, Master Geto." You said as you walked towards Geto, looking at the big grin he had on his face along with the bags under his eyes.

"You call me 'Master Geto', I think it's fair to call you by your last name." He laughed, fixing the Gojo Kesa he wore. You sighed, looking at Geto with annoyance "what is it that you needed?.." you ask as you tilted your head. You see Mimiko and Nanako bickering at eachother, talking about Tokyo.

"Would you like to come to Tokyo with us? See an old friend?" You look at him surprised "...see an old friend?.." you repeated.

Geto nodded, knowing who you both are talking about. "I don't think he'd even like to see us- just what do you mean 'see an old friend'?" You came closer. "It'll be fine, Y/n! We just need to chat with him."

Then you remembered. Getos plan about the war. "Are the others coming?" You raised a brow and Geto nodded "of course. We're a family." He chuckled, walking away.

"We were about to go right now." He says as he pointed at the large pelican. You were grossed out since you had to get inside the pelican. "...maybe after I ba-" Geto cuts you off by taking your hand and dragged you inside the pelican. You sat there with disgust while Mimiko and Nanako comforted you.

"It's fine L/n! It doesn't stink and we were planning to go to the Cafe near in tokyo- the crepes look so good!" Nanako says with a grin. You didn't do anything but nod.

You all were in, flying towards Tokyo. You look at Geto and asked him "...are you gonna meet the Okkotsu boy again?" You asked as you tilted your head back with annoyance "Gojo's going to kill us." Geto raised a brow "I'm sure he won't. Just a little talk that's all."

You landed, getting out the pelican and stood there watching Geto rush towards Yuta Okkotsu. Geto held Okkotsus hand and started blabbering about his little cult and how he should join him and insulting Maki Zen'in.

That all ended when Satoru Gojo walked in along with other jujutsu sorcerers working at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. "Dont tell my students such nonsense, Suguru." Gojo said coldly, his eyes hidden under the white bandages. Gojo grew so much.

Geto smiled, pulling away as Gojo stood infront of Okkoutsu protectively. Your eyes meet with his covered ones and you can't help but look away. "I wanted to declare war." Geto said with a smile. Yaga, Nanami and Meiemi were there but you couldn't spot Shoko anywhere.

"Y/n." Gojo suddenly said. "You're working with Suguru. Actually." He says, making it sound like you were pathetic. You don't say anything back. Gojo and Geto began to bicker. "Mr. Geto! Hurry up! Let's go to the crepe shop!!" Nanako whined, beckoning him over.

Geto smiled at her and turns to Gojo "well, I better get going." He said as he got in and announced the date of the war.

It was soon, in December 24th 2017.

"Master Geto..." you muttered to him as Nanako began taking photos, taking 0.5 photos of you and the others in the Cafe. "Yes y/n?.." Geto looked at you, eating the sweet crepe. You had a strawberry crepe with cream while Geto had one with blueberries. "Nevermind. Nothing. I was gonna ask you something stupid." You say as you take a bite out of the crepe. You felt so stupid.

You began to question things. What if you never betrayed Gojo? What if you never went with Geto? You hate these damn thoughts.

You get a flashback. It's Higanbanas doing.

Your younger self with a older sorcerer, you were close to him. You two always were together talking when you were a child. "Y/n, promise you won't leave me..." Said the older male, caressing your face. You look at him and laughed "leave you? Why? I'm not a grown up yet!" You say with a wide grin and the older man pulled you in a hug. "...I know. But. Nobody will ever love you like this my dear y/n.." He whispered, running his hands through your hair. You look at him confused and nodded. "I know..." you muttered, sitting on his lap.

You stood up, walking away towards the bathroom and Geto gave a confused look as he watched you walk away.

You washed your face in the restrooms sink, looking up at the mirror. "Damn you." You suddenly say, looking at the mirror as you saw the cursed spirit.

Higanbana.

"Quit making me think such thoughts. I don't regret my decision." You glared at her, your left eye turning red when your eye colors are originally e/c. Higanbana pouted, her white hime haircut with the blue streaks in her hair along with the blue spider lily's on her head.

"Stop taking those stupid sorcerer meds! It enhances your strength and you're too damn strong to take over!" She whined, pulling on your cheek.

She was in you, controlling your body but you can see her behind you, through the mirror. "Higanbana please...we already talked about this..." you sigh, turning around and sat on the bathroom floor. You looked down at your chest, lifting open one of the kimono folds to see your bandaged chest, seeing if its tight enough for you to look flat chested. "During the war I'll let you take over." Higanbana smiled, hugging you with a wide sinister grin "for real? You will?" She says and you nodded, walking back to Geto and the others. "Just stop reminding me of the past." You say as you began walking back to them.

December 24 2017.

Your last time seeing Suguru Geto.

Nanako and Mimiko were off somewhere and the others following along with Getos plan. You were assigned to distract and defend, bring paired with Miguel.

You look down and see Gojo dragging his students, Panda and Toge Inumaki and made a sign in the sand, teleporting the first year's back to the school.

Damn.

He found out.

You stood besides Miguel and patted his back, pushing him. "You can go first." You say as you backed away "you'd kill time." Miguel rolled his eyes, hidden under his shades and got down.

You watch the two fight. Miguel was losing and there were curses everywhere. Miguel's whip and Satorus cursed technique were everywhere, destroying almost everything. Gojo slid open the white bandage, revealing one of his blue eyes.

Eventually the fight ends when you blinked and you see Satoru Gojo gone.

Fuck

Where is he?

"Migeul!" You yelled out, jumping off the rooftop to get on the lower one until you see Miguel missing. Damn. You turn around and felt something gripping onto your Kimono. You looked at see Gojo.

He was looking at you right in the eyes.

Where's the bandages?

Where's Miguel?

"Gojo." You say as you tried staying calm. You know you'll die. But that doesn't happen.

Higanbana takes over. Your h/c now having blue streaks with blue marks on your face. Higanbana takes over and instantly aims for Satorus head, attacking him only for it to get blocked by infinity.

"Y/n." Gojo coldly says as he doged the attacks Higanbana gave him, the blue nails you grew being like claws. Why wasn't he attacking? Why wasn't he hurting you? "Satoru Gojo!" Higanbana yelled out, her scream sounding scary.

She controlled your face, a evil grin appearing on your face. She aimed for more attacks and Gojo was about to unleash an attack. You pull away quicker than Higanbana and retreated. You're just like Miguel.

You dissappear, not wanting to fight again since you know that your body's too damn weak to even handle Satorus attack. Nanako and Mimiko were already done with their assigned job and meets up with you.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Called the two, running towards you quickly. "We need to find Master Geto!" Said Nanako and you nodded. "I'll find him I swear-" you say as you tried catching your breath, your kimono folds slipping down to show off your shoulders and the turtle neck like compression shirt. You sat down, catching your breath. You're too weak for this.

So much time has passed and you ran towards jujutsu tech to retrieve Geto. You were out of breath, your chest felt like it was burning along with your sides. You stood ontop one of the roofs, standing above the tiles.

Your eyes widened.

Geto was wounded.

Dead.

You saw him holding his missing left arm and with a bloody body.

You wanted to break down. You wanted to catch him until you saw Gojo. The two seemed like they were talking about something. Gojo crouched down, whispering something to Geto and you tweaked.

"You." Gojo suddenly said, standing up and looked at you. "Y/n." He says as he glared at you, both his eyes bare for you to see. "G-geto...what the hell did you do?" You asked, your voice trembling as you got closer, staring at Getos corpse. You looked at Gojo, your face darkened.

Gojo walked towards you, face to face. The atmosphere was absolutely tense but he didn't have any hostility or danger. But you did.

A vein grew on your face, glaring at Satoru. "Gojo. Tell me what the hell you just did." You say as you got closer. Gojo stays silent, glaring back at you.

"You know why I had to do it." He says as he gets closer. Satoru noticed the blue markings fading in, Higanbana was about to take over your body since you felt weak. Gojo puts two fingers on your forehead and suddenly you felt sleepy. "...Go...jo.." you say as you instantly fall down onto your knees, laying on the dirty floor as Satoru looked down at you.

He'll retrieve your unconscious body later. Right now he has to meet up with his students.

[moonbaby26]

As we know, Oda made the original seven warlords all animal themed. With Doflamingo -duh- being a flamingo 🦩💖. But in this post I wanted to add the additional reasons I find it funny that my favorite warlord is indeed, a bird. Because most birds are chaotic, evil trainwrecks if you didn’t know! Do not be fooled by their elegant propaganda of the American bald eagle, peacock, and such.

Far more bird species are of the hissing/unpredictable/possessive/oversexed/homicidal/drama queen variety.

And as part of my example, I will be introducing my pet cockatiel! He is a male, lutino color variant. I took him to the avian vet recently to get a quick nail trim (he treats my arm like a bloodied ski slope with his little feet razors otherwise).

The likeness is uncanny, right? Spiked up blond hairdo and all. 🤣

But here is my rambling list below of why Doflamingo fits the bird theming beyond just his aesthetics. Note, all species are different. These are just generalities.

1. Birds are needy, attention whores. Realistically, this comes from wanting the attention and safety of their flock. And my bird gets plenty of out of cage time with us. But oh my god, sometimes if he hears me so much as sneeze and he can’t see me…WHY AM I IN THE HOUSE, BUT NOT WITH HIM!? WHY!? RED ALERT. He starts flock calling for me, and I must respond with at least a whistle or he will begin screaming. Because surely, someone must be murdering me if I don’t come to him immediately.

2. They are complete horndogs. Seriously, everyone thinks humping inappropriate things is a male dog exclusive problem. Nope. There are professional bird behaviorists that people literally pay to come teach them how to calm their pet birds’ sexual aggression and the nightmare that can become. You have to be mindful of how you interact with them, lest they start thinking YOU are their mate and begin attacking anyone else in the house who is not you. Because they are jealous. So jealous. I only pet/preen my bird on his head. As that is perfectly platonic flock behavior. But touching anywhere else (back or chest for example) can make them think it’s sexy time. Male birds will hump the utter hell out of “favorite” objects. Birds kept with others must be monitored that no one is getting ganged up on. But it happens in the wild too. Female ducks need pepper spray or self defense classes. I’ll just leave it at that.

3. They are murderous/violent, and easily overstimulated. So my bird weighs around 80 grams give or take. As an adult human, he’s not going to take me down anytime soon. But if he wanted to, he likely could bite me hard enough to go to the bone. He never has truly bitten me, but I watch his body language. He runs up wanting to be petted. Or sits on me long enough that he falls asleep. He likes to be together, but always on his terms. If I touched him too much, or when he didn’t want it, he’d definitely bite me. People have lost eyes to larger birds. People have had to have reconstructive surgery from parrot bites. They can crush whole nuts in their beak. So what do you think they’ll do to your face when they are sitting on your shoulder and suddenly get triggered (which they very easily are)? Humans have been drowned by swans. And forget it when it comes to something like the Cassowary. You’re already dead if they really wanted you to be.

4. They are opportunistic. Oh look, more murder! People think only birds of prey are the true meat eaters. But a pelican would eat you if it thought it could swallow you. Even the smallest birds have been observed killing other birds and small mammals if they can. Food is food. They are not cute to their victims. They are survivalists. No mercy. Ever. Some baby birds actually eat their own nestmates if one sibling is stronger than the others (sorry Rosi, there really was a precedent for that 😰).

5. They are territorial. And still more murder! In my own yard we have birdhouses made for Eastern bluebirds. They’re a species that legit benefits from human intervention as bluebirds will only nest in cavities, which they have less of now because of deforestation and competition with non native species taking said cavities. Non native species (for the US anyway) of the European house sparrow in particular. House sparrows are tiny. Smaller than a bluebird. But they will slaughter a bluebird family. All over territory during breeding season. They enter the bluebird nest and will peck even the adult bluebirds to death if they can catch them on the nest. They killed a male bluebird of ours this way. Now we put up “sparrow spookers” on our active bluebird nests once eggs are in the box. It’s just mylar streamers that blow in the wind, and the sparrows are afraid to fly through it. But every breeding season we have to go through this again. Basically Riku dynasty versus Donquixote dynasty in our backyard with the invading house sparrows.

And I could go on and on really, about greed, mood swings, vanity, etc. But you get the idea now. Murder, sex, and bright plumage. Heavy emphasis on the murder especially. He really is a bird in every sense of the word. 😅

Edit: Oh! And I forgot grudges! Some birds will hold a grudge for ages. Just ask a crow. I thought my bird would be over my betrayal of the vet visit by today. Nah. He’s still pissed. He won’t come to me right now. He fakes me out to offer my hand to him, then says, nah, bitch! And opens his mouth like he rather bite. It’ll be a few days I guess. 🤣 Never betray a Donquixote!

[kipercrow]

Stardew Gas (Shane x Male Farmer) (M/M)

The Luau was a wonderful tradition in Pelican Town. Omar being the town’s farmer, always made sure to bring his best ingredients for the big Soup! Everyone gets to put in their own ingredients, and Omar always wanted to show the fruits of his farming. Especially since the governor would come to town just for this event. Since he began getting close to Shane, Omar had been perfecting the way he grew his chillies. It was after all one of the ways he got Shane to see him as a friend, and then eventually a partner. They’ve been dating for a year now, and Shane with the help of Omar, town doctor Harvey, and his therapist in Zuzu City, he’s been able to work on his mental health, and improve a lot! After Joja Mart closed down following the completion of the Community Center, Shane started spending more time with Omar, helping around with the animals. They loved working together. It’s why when it was their turn to add something to the Luau Soup, they both added chillies! The soup was delicious! With the approval of the governor, everyone celebrated, eating more food and joking around with each other.

Late at night, after the Luau ended, full of food Shane and Omar walked back to their shared home together. “Ughh... *gurgle*... I feel a little bloated... oof... too much Joja all-purpose dipping sauce.” Shane said, rubbing his belly. “Same here. We ate so much. Elliot’s bean casserole was phenomenal. I have to ask him for the recipe the next time I see him. You know he told me that he was working on a cookbook.” Omar said. “Oh is that so? Do tell him that chickpeas don’t work in a bean casserole. Too many different textures.” Shane said before smiling. The two of them entered their home, and removed their shoes and walked over to their bedroom to change into their pajamas. Shane put on his blue plaid pajama pants, and an old band tee for Bimar, both Shane and Omar were fans of the band and loved their song ‘Distressed Position’. Omar changed into his black pajama shorts, and a normal t-shirt that just had a cat on it. The two men sat on the couch, and turned on the TV. Even though the Luau was lively, they weren’t tired. Omar’s dog Buddy sat on his bed next to the couch, it was the same dog that Shane’s aunt Marnie found and brought to Omar. Buddy took a liking to Shane almost right away, and has been very beneficial to Shane’s mental health improving. 

Shane rubbed his belly, the food from the Luau was beginning to mix and become gas in his stomach. This wouldn’t be a problem if he was back at Marnie’s home. Shane would usually just take a walk around the barn, and walk past the forests and let out any farts he had on the way. Hell, he’d probably be letting all of his gas out in his bedroom, as long as he kept his window open Marnie wouldn’t mind. But here with Omar things were different. He hadn’t farted in front of Omar yet. Sure he assumed that his loving farmer boyfriend had farted before, he by all proof was a human, and humans fart. He couldn’t fart no matter how bad the gas pains were, he didn’t want to ruin this love. But through the corner of his eye, Shane saw Buddy, sleeping peacefully in his bed. Dogs fart, Shane could totally blame his release on Buddy, Omar has probably blamed his farts on Buddy many times before. Omar was focusing very much into the movie about a team of young adults solving a mystery, he wouldn’t notice Shane farting. 

Shane slightly shifted in his seat, and released a fart blast.

PRBPRRRRBBTTRRTTTTT

The fart was a quick rumble, Shane had hoped that it would be an SBD but oh well, better now to blame the dog. “Ha Wow Buddy that was a good one!” Omar looked at Shane smirking, unbeknownst to Shane, Omar was not buying that at all. He knew that Shane had farted, breaking the barrier in their relationship, it would have been broken weeks ago but Marnie had called the home asking if Shane could bring over some fresh eggs from the barn, before Omar could be the first to let rip. Shane looked back at Omar, and began to internally panic. “W-What? That was the dog. I swear” Shane said, trying to seem calm. Omar shook his head and looked deep into Shane’s eyes.

BRRRAAAAPPTTT

“Yes, the dog.” Omar said, smiling. Shane didn’t know what to say, Omar didn’t buy his lie, and then farted in front of him. “I-I’m sorry Omar. I didn’t mean to lie to you” he said, feeling absolutely awful. “Oh Shane, don’t apologize. You tried to blame a fart on the dog, so what? You’re not the only one feeling the effects of tonight’s Luau meal.” “I just felt embarrassed to do it, in front of you. I was afraid that you’d think that it was gross and wouldn’t want to be with me.” “Shane, I would never ever dump you, especially not over a little fart. It’s not even that gross, heck I have to clean up cow poop now that’s gross. I know it stinks, but they’re happier when they get to let that shit go. So you know it’s like us, I’m happier when you’re able to fart freely in front of me.” Shane smiled after hearing that, and kissed Omar on the cheek, it’s what he needed to hear. Shane and Omar continued to watch the movie together, feeling better now that they’ve broken the fart barrier. Almost 30 minutes later, Omar got hit with a smell of rotten eggs, he looked towards Shane. Shane with a smirk on his face looked at Omar, “What? I’m at my happiest.” Omar cracked up at that comment and he kissed Shane on the lips. “I love you, you smelly cow.” “Moo.” Omar and Shane continued to laugh together and watched the movie till its end.

After the movie ended, Omar and Shane turned off the TV and walked to their bed letting out little farts along the way, taking full advantage of their newfound comfort. They got into bed, Buddy in his bed. Shane felt really happy, he was soaking it in how he was sleeping with his boyfriend, he didn’t need to worry about Jas and Marnie, Buddy was sound asleep, and he was comfortable with Omar. He was so comfortable in fact that he didn’t think twice about releasing some of his gas.

PBRRT

It was a little fart, nothing big to write home about, but it made Shane happy to not have to hold back anymore. “Don’t blame the dog on that weak one.” Omar said cheekily. “Weak?” “Yes baby, weak. That was alright. Here, let me show you better.”

BRRrruuuRRPBRRTT

Omar released a loud fart that slid into a low rumble before coming back up in volume. “That’s how you do it.” “I see, I see. Here, I’m going to take credit for this one.”

PPPRRRBBRTTTTT

Shane let out a big fart, showing how serious he was to prove that he wasn’t weak. “Good Good. That’s better to see babe.” “You got anymore?” “Oh Shanny boy, you won’t be able to beat me. I used to out-fart my dad, and that man is why Mayor Lewis is a mayor and not the town farter.” “Town farter?” “Yeah Lewis used to fart a lot in town when he was younger. My dad beat him so bad in a contest, with a fart that some say is still going on.” “Really? I can’t believe Lewis would be so open about farting. He never seemed like the type to even burp!” Shane, now sitting up, was surprised to learn that Mayor Lewis would be so nonchalant about farting. Sure he knew that Lewis had his secrets, he thought to himself, “I mean Omar did catch Lewis kissing Marnie one night after a pretty eventful night at the Saloon. There was also the time Lewis forgot his underwear in Marnie’s room, Omar doesn’t know but I saw him bring it to Lewis. They don’t think I know but Lewis climbs in through the back window in Marnie’s room.” Omar sat up too, and began talking about the memories his dad told him about Mayor Lewis. “Yeah, when my dad lived here with my grandpa, my dad and Lewis would challenge each other in things. Lewis mainly farted when he was alone, but some days he’d fart in front of my dad to see if he’d do something. But he never thought my dad would fire back, so when one day that he did they set up a contest. My dad said it lasted for about an hour, they were firing back and forth within seconds of each other, they did it in this old home near the lake, he said that place stunk so bad! But after my dad let out a big 10 second fart, Lewis had nothing to return so my dad was declared the winner. Nowadays I notice that whenever Lewis walks by my barn he scrunches his face, like he’s letting something out. I think he uses my cows to block the farts.” Shane couldn’t believe his ears, Lewis a farter? And Omar’s dad beating Lewis, and Omar beating his dad? “Omar can’t be that impressive, if he’s using Lewis as a base.” Shane thought to himself. “Well Omar, if you’re such a pro-farter let’s see who can stink out this joint. Make Pelican Town think your cows have started to rot!” “You really want to go for it?” Shane pulled his knee to his chest and let out a 4 second bassy fart. “Yeah I’m going for it.” after saying that Shane let out 2 smaller farts back to back. “Oh! I see how it is, watch this!” Omar said before leaning slightly to the left, with his butt facing Shane and let out two bubbly farts that were 3 seconds. “Still want to go against me?” Omar said. Shane stood up and turned around and stuck out his butt, before letting out a wet 5 second fart! “And that was all air baby!” Shane said gloating. 

Omar and Shane kept their eye contact, the room falling silent until they both began to laugh and Shane fell onto the bed. “I love you honey” Shane said, kissing Omar’s cheek. “I love you too. Now if you truly want to start a contest we gotta do it by my dad’s rules.” Seeing that Shane was confused, Omar gave more information. “We pick a day, pig out on a bunch of fart inducing food, and whomever runs out first loses.” Omar punctuated his dad’s rules with a low rumble of a fart. “That sounds like fun, I mean I think we could do some damage to Pelican Town if we go full force-” Shane paused, letting out a wet note. “We should go some place far. Where no one can hear us-” Shane lifting his leg, releasing a loud bubbly fart “Where no one can smell us”. Omar smiled at Shane, letting go a short pop of a fart. “That sounds perfect, we can make the paint peel, in more ways than one.” Omar said, tracing Shane’s arm and stomach with his fingers. Omar releasing a longer bassy fart, punctuating it with tapping Shane on the tip of his nose, “Boop”. Shane smiled. Shane and Omar laid there in silence except for the bursts of gas releasing into the air, it wouldn’t be long before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.