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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 7 months ago

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KAIROOOOO THE ACTUAL LOML 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ^ this is us rn btw I AM KISSING YOUUUUU

YOU ARE . so unbelievably sweet i would rlly give you the world . THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR READING + TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE ALL THIS OUT :((((( it made me so happy!!!!!!! i can’t even explain it!!!!!!! we have lots n lots to talk abt so let’s get into it ….. just know i cherish you so deeply you are the bfb!gojo to my reader T_T (also our brains were LINKED on some of these i got so excited pshdkdjd)…..

OKOK SO . first off pls know that every single thing you said made me giggle and blush and kick my feet i rlly am not kidding when i compare us to gojo/reader….. YOU’RE TOO KINDDDDD I CAN’T HANDLE IT 😥😥😥😥😥😥 i tried SO hard to make this feel as summery as possible so knowing you think that highly of the imagery n descriptions n vibes just !!!!!!! makes me smile so wide. i’m grinning like a dumbass. i love you.

alsoooooo while we’re on the topic of the summer vibes <33

i think our brains are Linked because tell me why i was listening to my haikyuu!! summer playlist while reading this and “monsoon” & “warm glow” by hippocampus started playing as i was reading!!!!! and then i reread the fic again after i saw your post of making it while listening to “baseball” (which is another banger i WILL be adding this to the playlist)

WE’RE SOOOOO LINKED TRULY!!!! kairo i found out abt hippo campus like . a week ago. i can’t believe what i’ve been missing out on (DO YOU LIKE BAD DREAM BABY BTWWW bc i think it’s so sugucoded 👉👈)…….. I CHECKED OUT MONSOON AND WARM GLOW TOO AND THEY’RE SOOOOO GREAT GOD . FUCK. they’re incapable of missing…… BUT YEAHH BASEBALL. SO GOOD. it helped me get into the summer headspace sm it’s crazy. i also just think it’s Perfect for this fic like the vibes….. the lyrics…. ”there goes that moon boy”… “i was wrong // you were a friendly kid”…… yeah. yeahhhhh…..

this fic had very REAL human emotions, & the dialogues b/t the characters were SO genuine/not fake or “story-ish” at all! the way satoru was depicted in this fic… just EVERYTHING was SO amazing.

the way every single grain of anxiety in my body just melted away after reading this 😭😭 YOU HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME KAIRO….. i’m so so happy the dialogue felt real!!! and obv the emotions too….. i’m always worried abt those things since they’re so important to the character writing :’3 so knowing they Worked for u makes me wanna weep . i am kissing you

AND . i’m so glad you liked the order of events!!!! the emphasis on his soft rejection…. you Get it. i have to restrain myself from copy pasting every single thing you say bc it’s always so insanely on the mark……. you are inside my skull and you are here to stay <333333 the dynamic between gojo & reader was smth i worried abt a bit as you know so. it’s also so reassuring!!! hearing your thoughts made me feel a lil more confident abt it too!!! i rlly do love them as a couple but i was worried abt people misinterpreting them a bit :’3 but ofc you didn’t!!! never you!!!!! nothing sneaks past kairo…

i ADORE how mature yet kind he was about it! and he’s also so valid in his reasonings too like he was 18 and reader was 14 when they met! ofc he wouldn’t be in love w them like that bc he sees them as a literal BabyChild! WHICH THEY ARE! i think it’s also so sweet that he doesn’t make fun of them or anything, he says it gently & w finality & no room for “does he like me or not?”, he’s genuine and honest when he says he doesn’t feel for them That way. he loves them but isn’t IN love w them. he loves them like a fond older brother who wants to protect their baby sis’ bestie! i think this fic shows so much of him Looking out for reader

LIKE THIS …….. you just Get it. i think the age gap especially is important bc !!! a 23 year old dating a 27 year old isn’t too bad . but 14-18 ABSOLUTELY is and for satoru it just decides their dynamic from the beginning. he’s so Good and protective :(( all your thoughts r so spot on… he’s gentle and sweet and reader is his little baby. he’s always always looking out for them!! and he wasn’t kidding when he said he missed them!!!!

((also riko being toru’s baby sis is canon to me Okie i loved that idea SO much))

kairo when i tell you i felt like a genius 😞😞 at first i was fully planning on making an oc but then it hit me and everything clicked into place…. they’re the siblings ever <333333

AND AGAINNNN you keep being so unbelievably sweet abt the descriptions and imagery i’m just 😭😭😭 you’re gna make me WEEP kairo. i’m screenshotting all of this and cradling it to my chest…… literally EVERY single word you say means the world to me pls know that . i’d comment on all your comments if i could bc they all make me so happy but i also don’t want this to become an ego-stroking essay for you to wade through </3 I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU OK…….. and ik i’ve said this plenty before but to me you are a prose MASTER and i adore your imagery so. it means sm T_T

(perhaps they meet again during those seasons… i feel like the quaint town would be so pretty… the smell of pumpkin spice, fairy lights & jack-o-lanterns everywhere, autumnal desserts & bonfires etc… ARI I WANNA LIVE IN THIS TOWN i’ll get an apartment w suguru there actually <333)

AAAAA THIS IS GIVING ME IDEAS FOR THE CONTINUATION……………. more on that later tho >:3 BUT YES THE AUTUMN VIBES . UNMATCHED. i want to live in this town so badly too </3 it was actually kinda inspired by this visual novel i love where you grow up w your childhood friend in a summery town right by the beach… the vibes in it are just. chefs kiss. (it’s called ”our life: beginning’s and always” btw … very childhood friend!sugu coded imo AND ALSO FREE TO DOWNLOAD i highly recommend it 🙏🙏)

ALSO . just know i support the sugukairo agenda more than anything else in my life……. he would go down to the beach for a swim every morning at the crack of dawn and you would wake up early just to see him come in through the door shirtless and soaked <333 ideal dynamic i think

ok so you’re probably like kairo why’d you put the sentences of reader drinking lemonade in here. Well Let Me Tell You………. i think that you have such a TALENT of showing intrigue even in mundane moments. like ok legitimately from the outside it’s just reader drinking a glass of lemonade. but the way you DESCRIBE it had me gagged… “sour and sweet” is just like the emotions brewing and brimming up within the reader. and just the additions of cubes clinking + condensation cooling down reader was just REFRESHING to me! and riko is similar to satoru in that their gazes carry weight & heft & at the end of the day they’re just looking out for you………. sniffles. the siblings of all time omg we were ROBBED

^ me @ you rn KAIROOOOO WHAT IF I HUG YOU UNTIL YOU POP T—T sorry that’s violent. what if i hug you gently. YOU JUST…,. have a Way of noticing tiny details and i just think it’s sososo admirable like sincerely . me sneaking in the sour/sweet line thinking no one else is gna see it a reference to reader’s emotions but here you are… my goddess…… my sun in the sky…….. you understand me like no one else i’m so serious 🫂 AND THE SIBLINGS YES the parallels between riko and satoru in canon make me INSANE and i think it translates over so well to this au . they’re both bratty and teasing and so so sweet. w eyes like a blue sea or a blue sky. i love them :(((

like it doesn’t sound like you’re just Listing things off (which is a problem i have) it just sounds like you’re…… THERE!!!!! like you’re living this experience there and just existing in it!!!!!!!

KAIROOOPSJDKSOKDIEE I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY GIGGLED + BLUSHED + KICKED MY FEET I GOT LEFT IN ME 😭😭😭 i’m overwhelmed by how much of a sweetheart you are like TRULY. thank you sososososososoososoo much. you’re too kind!!!!!! always!!!!!!!! i’m so overjoyed i could make you feel immersed even a little bit 🥺🥺

PART 2 OF HUNGRY KAIRO……………… I FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOVE PINK LEMONADE!!!!!!!!! FEED ME THOSE WRAPPED SANDWICHES NOWWWWWWW!!!!!! RAHHHSHSHSHSHAHAKAKSHGAROEMWHDJE (sounds of me eating ferociously :3)

HERE R YOUR SANDWICHES MY QUEEENNNNNN 🥪🥪🥪 nothing but the best for you….. sugu made them for you himself trust

AND THEN HIS FIT……….. moaned loud as hell that’s MY bad 🤭🤭🤭 sliver of chest……………….. whore. EXPOSED BICEPS TOO???????????? whore part 2.

PHDIDJDJDN KAIROOO……. you’re so fucking Real and you bring me sm joy thank you for saying what we were all thinking <3333333 he IS a whore and we love him. knowing you think this gojo is sexy is all the validation i could ever need btw thank you thank you 🫂🫂🫂🫂

(^ this is the shirt he was wearing btw………. i had a list of candidates that niku helped me pick from but. i truly think this one is the most Satoru and also the sexiest. he makes me ill)

ARIIIIIIIIIII !/&/&/!/@/!/&2&1@1!-&-@1”1”1&/$2@1”&2&2 I’M NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY MY HEARTBEAT STARTED SPEEDING UP WHEN SUGURU WAS INTRODUCED MY HEART STARTED RACING I’M NOT NORMAL!/&/‘&/!/! HE JUST. GODDDDDDDDD SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL & SEXY. reader is better than me i would’ve pounced on suguru and made him my husband.

REALLLLLL REAL REAL!!!!!!!!!!! snuck him in just for u btw that’s a kairo special <333 BUT YES HE’S SO. SO EFFORTLESSLY CHARMING. i can’t stand him. fortunately he has a perfectly good lap for me to sit on. there’s enough room for both of us he has two thighs for a reason >:3

AND WAHHHH I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THE VOICE DESC…….. 😭😭😭 i just think he’s so honeysuckle coded. and it’s vital that his voice comes across as theeee most gorgeous thing on the planet…… now that i have the kairo sugu approval i can rest easy hehe

NJSLMSNSDJKWJDJDKEJDJD MENACE!SUGURU. I’M CRYIFNFNDNDNDND THIS BASICALLY JUST MEANS THAT SUGURU USED TO HEADLOCK RIKO ALL THE TIME I’M CRYIFNFNFNDNDN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 this made me giggle like ACTUALLY please him and satoru are such menaces i LOVE them 😭 also toru flirting w sugu and sugu essentially having the energy of Damn Bitch I Don’t Want You made me giggle…….. he loves bullying the gojo siblings <333 his fav pastime :3 methinks sugu loves reader too like that’s his lil baby :3 him when satoru & riko do anything: idiot sandwiches. him when reader does anything: hi cutiepie cupcake :3

YESSS YOU GET IT 😭😭😭😭 absolute CLOWNS. and again w you picking up on all the tiny implications….. i am in Awe of you always. HE DID PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK ALL THE TIME. satoru too ofc…… sugu is a very sneaky bully he’d just let her go before any of the adults spotted him 😊 i like to think it gave riko ptsd so now her head hurts everytime suguru drops his smile and stares at her like this 😶 PSHDKDJDJ….

AND THE FLIRTING…. sugu does NOT want him god bless. as i was writing i was sort of entertaining a bunch of different interpretations since the fic is so vague abt satoru’s feelings… and one take i thought of was like . what if satoru loves suguru the same way reader loves him…. and it’s just terribly one-sided………. THAT’S JUST A THOUGHT THO not my own personal take. but i think that’d be kinda devastating.

AND ANDDDD YOU’RE SO RIGHT <3333 reader IS sugu’s little baby . he’s so soft on them compared to the gojo siblings LMAO…… i like to think reader was kind of shy as a child and he was just sooo immediately endeared. he’s the number one hater of the gojo/reader ship btw……… you do NOT have his support 😭😭😭 riko tries 2 be nice abt it but suguru is just. a disappointed mother LMAO. like oh 😇 you’re still on that crush huh 😇😇 how about that 😇😇😇 he’s so scary….

but i also like the fact that his heartbeat is steady… his isn’t racing like reader’s bc to him it’s an act of protection more than anything. compare that to reader’s heartbeat which is probably beating out their chest due to the physical proximity!

AGAIN . YOUR ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS UNMATCHED. yes!!!!! reader’s heart is pumping out of their chest but from satoru’s pov he’s just. scaring a creep off. looking out for you. i think he’s also just very casual w touch in general…. so it’s almost absentminded. but reader is like OH GOD OH FUCK HE WANTS ME. (he does Not 😔)

also on the topic of toru being touchy . i’m so glad the jaw grabbing scene made u Explode a little >:3 i too would kiss him silly……….

also i looooooove serious!satoru so much it’s one of my ULTIMATE guilty pleasures (along w argument fics w suguru listen i love it ok there’s something so delicious abt suguru arguing w you/being mad in the heat of the moment but then him feeling guilty/ashamed after a while when he sleeps on the bed and you on the couch bc you’re stubborn like that bc HE was the one who was actually in the wrong… ok i’m rambling lemme find some sugurument fics rn…….)

PHDKDJDKDKD REALLLL REALLL!!!! also what if i told you…… that is eerily similar to the sugu fic i’m posting next ………… 👀👀 kairo inside of my brain as usual i hope it’s cozy in there !!!

and his DIALOGUE!!!!! i loved his dialogue in this fic it’s all so HIM! playful yet caring yet teasing yet mature <3 the “gonna break my heart” is soooooooo him.

AAAAAA KAIRO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😥😥😥 this makes me so so happy too……. writing dialogue for him is always SO fun but i do worry abt it sometimes 😭 he rlly does have that specific mixture of traits doesn’t he…….. sighhhhh i need him bad. BUT YES HE’S SUCH A LITTLE TEASE………. joking abt you breaking his heart when he’s alr broken yours 😞 stupid silly sexy man

also satoru saying it’s a schoolgirl crush when in reality reader deffo feels like they’re genuinely in love… i think toru does that not to undermine their feelings but to explain to them that babes you could do better and you should do better and you should find someone who can share the love you have!

YES THIS !!!!!!!! YOU GET ITTTTTT i think. he just wants to let you down as gently but firmly as possible. maybe he also kind of doubts that you could really love him That strongly bc despite his ego i do think he has a fairly cynical view of himself… even in a happier au like this i think satoru is good at isolating himself!!! but yeah he doesn’t mean to undermine your feelings he just wants what’s best for you 😔😔

ANOTHER ONE I ADORED!!!!!! i just LOVE opening the floodgates of their emotions is being likened to opening a soda can! “crack the lid of your heart… wade through the carbonation.” yeah so ari WHAT THE FUCK??? how do you THINK of that??? like actually tell me how did that go into your brain??? that’s so genius and just so UNIQUE! and AWHHHHHHHHH reader being happy that their feelings are acknowledged makes me so :’) they’re so genuine in their love and adoration for satoru it seriously is such a sweet thing to see like their love is so PURE!!!! high on summer joy & love watching satoru shine <333

PHDJFJDJE I AM KISSING YOUUUUUUU A MILLION FOREHEAD KISSES FOR KAIRO……….. i was giggling + kicking my feet writing that hehe. i’m so glad u liked it!!!!! T_T unconventional imagery is sm fun . AND READER YES kairo i’m genuinely so happy that you ended up liking them bc i do too……. their love rlly is so pure and simple!!! light even!!!! like yeah it hurts a bit to be rejected but they’re older now too. and they rlly do get so happy just watching him shine !!!! :(((( sniffle…. they’re very Baby

the image of drill sergeant!suguru whipping satoru into shape has me cryifnnfnfnf he was like i won’t let a weak noodle-armed BITCH show me up… i just won’t. how much do you wanna bet suguru out bench pressed satoru. i bet my life savings ($2) not a lot but my money is on sugubear <333

PDHJDJDJDJ YOU GET IT!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!!! oh you know sugu was happy as HELL…. 😭😭 an excuse to order satoru around……… he ate it up. AND SUGUBEAR ABSOLUTELY OUT BENCH PRESSED HIM!!!!!!!! their old training arc was crazy……..

this was so pretty it almost put me to sleep w how much comfort & relaxation it gave me… like i put myself in reader’s shoes and feeling the warmth of satoru & the evening + smelling the saltwater + hearing the melodic lilt of his voice truly and honestly would just… COMFORT me.

THIS MADE SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYY I’M SO GLAD!!!! ahhh i wanted the piggyback scene to feel all summery and comforting n sleepy 🥺🥺 just having satoru there to keep you steady on his back… and you’re all tuckered out from swimming…… and he’s speaking all soft.… i would be falling asleep instantly i fear :’3

love love LOVE the root imagery btw using a famous line and then using it as something to trip over until something blooms is so genius. and also. AWHHHHH reader is just so smitten it’s so fucking sweet to me

AGAINNN I’M SO HAPPY YOU FIND READER SWEET 🥺🥺 and the root imagery!!! is so special 2 me!!!!!! i just think it’s so good as a metaphor for a slowly growing/uncertain love… and there’s also this idea i have of reader as like . a bud yet to bloom. while satoru is a blossoming flower. there’s just so much admiration that reader feels for him!! he’s like a big sunflower they can’t help but look at :’3

and on the topic of gojo/reader. you just Get their dynamic!!! you rlly rlly do!!!!! being known is being loved…… he knows them so well so of course they love him. he’s seen them at their best and worst!!! yes!!!! i think there’s a stability to satoru they can’t help but fall for over and over again. ANDDD what you say here:

reader liking the feeling of BEING in love even if nothing comes out of it omfg that’s just so. WOW at the end of the day the reasoning it’s so simple and pure. they just like him and wanna see where it leads them. and i can’t fault them for that!

… is also just. nail on the head!!!!! they just like being in love with him!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 it’s so simple and that gives it so much more meaning to me.

AND THE SANDALWOOD . YES. bfb!gojo is sandalwood coded idk why i just know he smells all earthy and warm and ambery. NEED to sniff his neck. sorry what.

sniffle i’m soooo happy you enjoyed this fic n the ending kairo T_T NOW . let’s talk abt…… the ending possibilities…….. bc i have many Thoughts and they’re the same as yours >:3

since the ending is so open-ended……. methinks two (2) things can happen…….. i will express them here if you don’t mind :3 satoru introduces reader to someone like yuuta/yuji and reader becomes smitten w them OR a few years later, maybe satoru ends up liking reader back! or a secret third option (reader/suguru endgame but satoru threatens suguru w baseball bat <333)

WE’RE SO LINKED. IT’S ACTUALLY INSANE. i got an anon ask abt the possibiltiy of sugu/reader being endgame so i started thinking abt it and!!!! rn i’m thinking of writing three different endings for this fic eventually :0 ANDDD they’re exactly the same as you said!!!! one where gojo and reader meet in the future and the atmosphere is a lot more hopeful, one where they end up w someone else entirely (yuuta/gumi/riko/yuji… still haven’t decided </3) AND. one …. secret bonus ending ……….. where they end up w sugu. the main reason it could never be a Real Ending is bc i legitimately do think satoru would threaten sugu with a baseball bat 💀💀 like he’s handled the situation so maturely only to find out his best friend didn’t do the same???? yeah. the beef would be too serious.

soooooo i’m thinking …. it might be a secret relationship kinda thing ……. them sneaking around……… summer fling vibes kind of. hehe i’m actually excited to write it out bc :3 i think it’s fun. AND it fits w the theme of the fic too!! everything abt the future and how fun it can be when it’s uncertain. reader might meet satoru again and hit it off, they might meet someone else, they might fall for someone who’s been in front of them this whole time. just a bunch of fun what-if scenarios!!!! :>

but also i rmbr you mentioned ace!gojo so i could totally see him just being fond of reader and that’s it! he’d go to reader’s wedding w whoever (if they ever choose to) and be happy that they found someone :’) at the end of the day he wants to see reader happy and that’s all that matters! <333 you 🤝 me giving a character the ace agenda (me w choso… ace!choso my beloved i’m hugging you so hard king)

NEEDED TO MENTION THIS TOO. ANY MENTION OF ACE!GOJO AND I GO WILD . just to be clear though!!! i hc him as ace only, not aro (though i like the idea of that too hehe), so he’d still be able to like reader back!! there just wouldn’t b any sexual attraction there :3 the terms can be. kinda confusing pjskfkd but yea!!!! THOUGH WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC…… that could be another possible interpretation of bfb!gojo :0 if he was aro then it’d be even more bittersweet bc it’s not just the fact that he doesn’t like reader back, he just. Can’t feel that kind of romantic attraction!!! that’s a neat idea……..

but yeah hehe all my gojos are sort of written w ace!gojo in mind!!! i just don’t think he’d be very interested in sex (though i know that’s a Very hot take 😭😭)….. BUT ALSO KAIRO. we r holding hands. ace!choso is so GOODDDD he even has the colour scheme!!!! him and gojo r just walking around w the ace flag drip……. i can’t believe them…..

they’re my icons <33 anyway where was i….

i think you mentioned that you were worried abt it being all over the place but i don’t think that was the case at all! i think emotions in general ARE all over the place for humans anyways so the way it was written was depicted perfectly!

😭😭😭😭 pt 937383 of me crying over your rb WEEPSSSSS KAIRO ……. i’m cradling you so close to my chest!!!! i’m sorry i probably sound like a broken record atp but T_T m just!!! so so happy that you enjoyed this. you’re so so sweet. tysm for taking the time to reassure me too!! i rlly do trust your judgement so so much :’3 i’m so glad the emotions felt wellwritten to you!!!

AND ALSO WHAT YOU SAID ABT THE ANGST. yes!!! i didn’t want it to come off as super angsty or heavy, i see it as a lighter kind of angst!! :’3 soft angst…. or bittersweet fluff….. etcetc. it rlly is just the core of their dynamic and i think they’ve both accepted that in a healthy way !! and then there’s always that hint of hope bc. reader will never stop hoping and pining!! and i think it makes them happy to have that, to feel things so deeply, good and bad!! this is just me but i’ve never rlly seen unrequited love as a tragedy, i think that you can find a lot of contentment in that!! sometimes it’s just nice to adore someone.

anyway i’m rambling PHDKDJDJ i rlly am so fond of this concept and dynamic and i’m OVERJOYED that you liked it too <3333333333

also… toru in tight black tops & sweatpants… I See You Ari…….. i Too would like satoru to use me as workout gear

ALSO . needed to mention this….. we r looking at each other knowingly. bfb!gojo is slutty and cozy and completely irresistable 💔💔

also. how much do you wanna bet that riko crushed on shoko the same way reader crushed on satoru. $1 gazillion dollars are on the table.

DOUBLE ALSO . YOU’RE A LITTLE GENIUS KAIRO….. that’d be soso cute T_T riko is a lesbian 2 me idk it just makes sense . i think she adores all women. shoko was just always so cool…… cool citygirl who sometimes visited over the summer and smoked in their backyard……. riko was born to gl forced to shounen :(((((

BUTTTTT WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID . one final time: thank you so so so much for reading kairo 🥺 and for writing all this!!! i’m gonna be rereading it constantly for motivation hehe. all your thoughts r just so enjoyable to hear!!!!!! ik i’ve said it before but we rlly are on the same wavelenght when it comes to these guys and it’s always SO much fun to speak to you. i love you i love you i love youuuuu T_T

ALSOOOO DW!!!! i’m telling sugu to hurry over to you as we speak!!!!!! he’s gna make you the tastest grilled fish of your life <3333333

silly jjk meme for u my sweetheart :3

we can dip if you’re ready ; satoru gojo

synopsis; your dreams of a peaceful summer are rudely shattered by the presence of your best friend’s older brother; the same brother who rejected you five years ago. the same brother you’re still hopelessly, uselessly in love with.

word count; 7.4k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, best friend’s brother!gojo (he’s the hottest man in the stratosphere), mild age gap (four years!), unrequited love, but with a hopeful ending kind of, bittersweet fluff, mostly summer shenanigans and pining, riko is satoru’s younger sister and i would give her the stars, sugu makes a guest appearance, (they’re both just there to bully gojo), he’s fairly mature in this i think, reader is very stubborn and very down bad, [name] used exactly once

a/n; personally i would let him use me as workout gear (tagging @teddybeartoji @dollsuguru @hayakawalove @vagabond-umlaut !! tysm for the help and encouragement ily 🥺🥺)

one mellow summer morning, over a breakfast of pancake and toast, the puppy-love you’ve nurtured for the past three years finally reaches its conclusion.

you’re seventeen years old. in three months you’ll be eighteen, standing on your own two feet, headed in a new direction — the whole world within your reach. but right now you’re still seventeen, and lovesick, and sleeping on a mattress in your best friend’s room. listening to the sound of the nearby sea.

you’re seventeen, and dreaming about things you can’t have. you’re seventeen, and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

you’re seventeen, and hopelessly, uselessly in love with a certain satoru gojo.

it’s early. your veins are sleepy and your heart is heavy, and you wake up at the crack of dawn just to catch a glimpse of him before he leaves for work. he’s leaning against the kitchen island when you trot down the stairs, and the smell of syrupy pancakes hangs heavy in the air. his bare chest is exposed, his pajama pants cling to the curve of his hips, and he rejects you with an easygoing kindness you wish he wouldn’t grant you.

suddenly, without mercy. a finality to his voice.

”you’re more like a younger sibling to me. you understand, right?”

he ruffles your hair, and you’re still sleepy, and you wish you could grasp the strings of your heartbeat to stop it from fluttering like this. wish you could pull yourself out of whatever trance he put you in, three years ago, when you stumbled over the threshold to your best friend’s house and landed headfirst in his chest.

”you’re a good kid,” he says, and his smile teeters on the edge of something apologetic. mostly, it’s pitying. ”there are lots of people out there for you.”

he ruffles your hair, as affectionate as ever, the same as it’s always been. not a trace of any romantic intent. the weight of his palm on your head is usually a comfort, but like this?

it’s a specific kind of torture.

there are lots of people out there for you.

(i know, you want to tell him, but your voice is raspy and your throat feels sort of dry. i know.

but i want you.)

“don’t get hung up on a schoolgirl crush, hm?”

when you finally raise your head, satoru is looking right at you. kindly, patiently, like a benevolent god. his blue eyes flecked with dots of white, like fluffy clouds on a summer sky. tilting his head to the right, as if searching for confirmation, waiting for your response. you muster up the will to nod; smiling in a way that must seem pitiful.

but he just pinches your cheek, throws his backpack over his broad shoulders, and asks you to let his sister know he’ll be home later than usual today.

then he leaves. he leaves you alone with two plates of sugary pancakes on the kitchen table, one for you and one for riko. he put whipped cream on top, and chocolate chips in the batter. it smells good. it smells like an apology.

and that’s how it ends.

there’s no great climax, no real resolution. you bite down on your lip, and spend about an hour pitifully sniffling into a fluffy pillow, even though none of it comes as a surprise. it still hurts, though. your best friend comforts you, tells you that at least you have some kind of closure now — an absolute rejection to make your feelings go away. about time, she thinks, though she’s far too kind to say it outloud.

except they don’t.

the moral of the story is; satoru gojo doesn’t love you back. he’s known you since you were fourteen, since he was eighteen, and he could never see you as anything more than a little kid. you’re his sister’s best friend, and he loves you, but not in the way you love him. it’s not surprising, or shocking. it’s exactly how it should be.

satoru gojo doesn’t love you back. he never will.

(you really, really wish your stupid heartbeat cared.)

one mellow summer evening, five years later — you step onto a bustling train platform, dragging your luggage behind you, and breathe in the scent of a familiar seaside.

above you, seagulls chatter and cry. you look around, and everything feels familiar, despite the time that’s passed since the last summer you visited. the same flowers, peach blossoms and hydrangeas and tulips in all kinds of shades; the same street vendors and aroma of freshly grilled fish. the same cute and quaint port town, quiet during winter and autumn, pleasantly noisy during the warmer seasons. right now, on the cusp of june, there are enough tourists around to make finding the right face in the crowd a difficult task.

luckily, she’s quick to find you. with her long, dark locks of hair, neatly braided; her yellow sundress and matching headband, sunflowers embroidered into the fabric. barreling towards you with a speed that would scare you a little if you weren’t so used to it, used to her.

riko. your one and only best friend.

she’s nestled into your embrace before you can get any greetings out, and squeezing you so tightly that you have no choice but to let her beat you to it. she’s warm, like a bundle of sunshine. the same as always.

with a low whine of your name, she nuzzles into your chest. “i missed youuuu…”

a chuckle bubbles up in your throat. and even though it hasn’t been very long at all, even though you talk on the phone almost every day and saw each other in person just about a month ago, you indulge her. “i missed you too, riko.”

another whine, and then she’s pulling back. squishing your cheeks together and pouting petulantly. “you better have! don’t ever make me spend summer all alone again, okay?”

you match her expression, eager to protest. “you’re still mad about that? it’s not my fault i got sick.”

“too sick to see your best friend? too sick to continue our most important tradition?” she shakes her head, letting go of you. struggling not to smile. “awful. just awful!”

“drama queen.” her lips break out into a grin, and yours follow. “i’m here now, aren’t i?”

“you are,” she agrees, quick to link her arm with yours. you follow her steps, leading you towards that familiar house. you can see it from here, a roof burdened with morning glories, those expensive white walls. “no, but seriously. i’m really happy to see you.” her voice drips with joy, giddy and sweet. “i don’t think i’d survive two months alone with that old man.”

ah. right.

your lips curl up into a smile, albeit a little uncertain. giddy, maybe. nervous? you aren’t sure. something swirls around in your stomach, little butterflies. tickling the ridges of your ribs, all those fluttering heartstrings. it’s been a while since you felt like this. all your summers are spent here, and all of riko’s, but he’s usually too busy.

the girl on your right chatters on and on, clinging to you, gradually melting away your skittish nerves. she tells you about her morning, what she ate for breakfast, the new show she’s been binging — it’s just as familiar as the house that soon comes fully into view. big and expensive, but still cozy, overgrown with flora. you don’t think either of the siblings really bother to take care of it, but it’s a pretty kind of neglect. a cute veranda, a beautiful garden. the apple tree you used to climb.

the buzz of an old radio spills out from an opened window, translucent curtains swaying with the breeze. when you strain your eyes you think you hear humming.

riko grins, dragging you with her through the opened gate. the yellow paint on the fence is starting to peel, and someone from inside has started pushing the door open, and the butterflies in your stomach can do nothing but sputter and squirm.

it’s summer, and you're back. back in that cute, quaint port town.

(and so is he.)

“why, hello there! if it isn’t my cute little [name].”

time stills, for just a single moment.

he looks the same as you remember. a little taller, you think, but he was always tall enough to tower over you; broad shoulders and long legs, sharp blue eyes gazing down at you. he’s wearing black shades, but you can still feel the weight of his pupils, crumble under the knowledge that his attention is entirely on you. wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tight black shirt, showing off every dip and ridge of his chest. a pleasantly cool breeze ruffles his white hair, short and trimmed, healthy locks to match his bright and sunny grin.

he looks happy to see you.

“don’t be weird,” comes riko’s voice, breaking you out of your little spell. all while she’s ushering you both towards the door, beyond the threshold, into the hallway. satoru clicks his tongue.

“so hostile today. shouldn't you be in a good mood?”

then he’s turning towards you, again, tilting his head just enough for his eyes to peek out the slightest bit. they’re crinkled at the edges, and his smile is fond. “how was your trip?”

more butterflies. his voice flows from his glossy lips, smooth and melted, pleasantly deep. you can only hang on to riko’s arm, mustering a small smile of your own.

“good,” you chirp. a little stiff, but polite, like you’re greeting an old friend; it’s been so long since you last spoke to him. ”i’m tired, though.”

your reply is met with a chuckle, a raspy tremor of his vocal cords. it sends a shiver down your spine. the weight on your arm disappears, as riko stumbles forward and kicks her sandals off. muttering something about gum getting stuck on the sole. you’re left standing right across from satoru, suddenly very aware of how much space he takes up all on his own. leaning against the wall, making himself comfortable. and chuckling, with that stupidly sexy voice.

“i bet. take a nap if you need to, yeah?”

a moment of silence. riko curses in the background, and you shift from foot to foot. unable to properly look into his eyes.

for a second, his smile drops — eyes obscured by the black glass of his frames, betraying no emotion. it only lasts a second.

then he’s moving forward, one large stride towards you, leaning down to wrap his big arms around your waist. bringing you into a hug, not as tight as you remember them being. you wonder if he’s holding back.

(his touch burns your skin, all the same.)

one of his palms finds solace on the top of your head, ruffling your hair. you can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks, terribly sincere. “i missed you, kiddo.”

a quiet squeak tumbles from your lips, and you pray to every god you can think of that he doesn’t hear it. his chest is pressed right against you, firm, radiating body heat. his limbs wrap you up in it, a cocoon of warmth that makes it hard to breathe. you can smell his cologne from where your cheek meets his collarbone; sandalwood invading your senses.

“i m-missed you too,” is all you can croak out, voice breaking pitifully. at this rate you might actually faint.

just out of view, riko narrows her eyes. before you can plead for help, she’s tugging you away from the embrace, pushing her brother away, and you inhale as much of the fresh summer air as you can.

“alright, that’s enough,” she huffs, pulling you closer. “c’mon! we should unpack your stuff right away!”

“want me to carry it?” satoru asks, already eyeing your luggage like a predator about to lunge at his prey. even if you say no, you know he’s not going to listen.

so you let him. and within the next few minutes, you’re seated on riko’s bed, suitcase on the floor, a glass of lemonade in your hand. blinking sluggishly.

“are you sure you’ll be alright?”

you raise your head. your best friend is looking at you with a questioning glance, head tilted and brows furrowed. now you’re all alone, and it’s quiet, peaceful. her brother went out to buy snacks for you. all you can hear is the low buzz of the radio downstairs, and faraway waves.

“huh?”

“i mean, with, y’know…” she moves her hands haphazardly, making some kind of gesture you don’t understand. “with my brother. and your… condition.”

you blink.

“… did you just refer to my crush as a condition?”

“well, it might as well be!” she groans, muffled, faceplanting onto the mattress. “don’t think i didn’t see you checking out his biceps just now. you’re so obvious.”

heat rushes to your cheeks. you try to shoo it away with a furrow of your brows and a loud exhale, but it lingers underneath your skin. “look — i —“ you scramble for words, brain tied up in fatigued knots. “did you see that shirt? is he buying them a size too small, or what?”

“oh, come on! that’s all it takes?”

another pair of exhales. you cross your legs, and she rolls onto her back. the silence is comfortable, and you gnaw at your bottom lip until she speaks up again.

“you could really, really do better, you know?”

her voice is quiet. soft, sincere, delicate as a sheet of glass. you know she’s just looking out for you, that she doesn’t want you pining for a guy who’ll never return those feelings — she’s kind like that, always has been. but…

“… i just like him.”

you take a tentative sip of your lemonade. sour and sweet. the cubes of ice clink against the glass, fresh condensation cooling down the tips of your fingers. her gaze lingers on your skin. it’s heavy, just like his.

you meet it with a sheepish smile, a little self-deprecating, but not embarrassed. she already knows all about your predicament.

(you just like him. that’s all there is to it.)

and she pulls herself into a sitting position.

“i know, i know,” she finally sighs, slumping against you, cheek smushed over your shoulder. “just don’t give him more attention than me, ‘kay?”

you let out giggle. “well, duh.”

she gives you a sunny grin.

“okay, good.”

you put the glass down on the windowsill beside you. just so you can stretch your arms out, falling backwards; a mountain of pillows cushioning your fall. a yawn spills past your lips, and riko sits up.

“wanna take a nap?” she tilts her head, dark locks framing her pretty blue eyes, deep as the sea. “that’s probably good. we’re going straight to the beach tomorrow, you know!”

“mm…” your eyes flutter shut, and you focus on that faraway sound. waves crashing against sand, the whistling of seagulls, the salty scent of the ocean. “that sounds nice.”

despite your exhaustion, you end up tossing and turning that night. not because of your best friend’s snores, or the feeling of a mattress you haven’t slept on in two years — but from the quiet sounds downstairs. glasses clinking, a chuckle here and there. the tv being turned on. tossing and turning from the knowledge that your childhood heartthrob, current heartthrob, is in the same house as you. a little older, a little less childish, even more charming than you remember him being.

you’re older, too. more mature, you like to think, even if the gain is small.

(maybe there’s a chance?)

shaking the thoughts from your head, mind still spinning along to the tune of his humming, you squeeze your eyes shut and try to fall asleep.

you’ll be okay.

okay, nevermind. you’re completely screwed.

“oh, there you are!”

satoru is already waiting up ahead when you step onto the beach, feeling the sand between your toes, a pleasantly cool breeze giving you respite from the sweltering heat.

the sun beats down on you, fervent sunlight warming the water up ahead, calm waves and a sparkling blue to match the hue of the sky; cobalts and ceruleans, melting together like watercolour on a canvas. people crowd around the food stands, shaved ice and churros and grilled fish, scents mingling together with the joyous chatter all around you. vibrant sensations, enough to excite but not to overwhelm.

a picture-perfect summer day.

your heart tingles with something giddy, skipping happily as you follow riko’s lead; she’s wearing a cute bikini set, frilly and floral, hair styled into a pair of braided pigtails, kept together by her favorite scrunchies. leading you towards her older brother, waiting patiently, having already grabbed a nice spot for you. a parasol, a blanket, a picnic basket. you see bottles of pink lemonade, wrapped sandwiches, strawberries in a plastic container.

more than anything, you see him. you see him, and realize just how screwed you are.

he’s smiling, when you approach. as always. hair tousled by the ocean breeze, blue eyes gleaming with mirth, exposed by the sunglasses close to slipping down the bridge of his nose. he’s wearing a hawaiian shirt, black in colour, white floral patterns to tie it all together. just unbuttoned enough to show off his collarbone, a sliver of his chest, the short sleeves exposing his biceps; patches of pale skin, shining with the beginnings of sweat.

(you’re about to fucking explode.)

as soon as you’re in sight, satoru lights up, aiming the flash of his phone in your direction. his other hand stays tucked into the pocket of his shorts. “aw, look at you two!” he coos, grinning brightly, teasing and sweet. “pose for the camera, okay?”

you’re still too hypnotized to react, but riko scurries ahead, ready to steal it from his grasp.

“no pictures!”

“oh, don’t be like that!” he takes a step back, dodging her attack by a hair, still wearing the same grin. “you’re gonna thank me ten years from now, trust me. it’s for the memories!”

a new voice spills into the air, suddenly, and you’re brought back into reality. it’s silky and low, smooth and nice, honeysuckle nectar turned into sound. interrupting the siblings.

“it’s been ten seconds. how are you already bickering?”

you turn towards its source, and spot a familiar face — right next to satoru. were you seriously too mesmerized to notice him? black hair, another hawaiian shirt, slightly lidded eyes…

suguru.

he meets your surprised stare with a relaxed smile, and takes a step forward; meeting you for a quick hug. he looks the same as he did when you were younger, odd bangs, hair tied up into a bun.

“hi there,” he hums, right by your ear, a light squeeze before he lets go. “it’s been a while.”

you part your lips, smiling through your words. a little stunned. “i didn’t know you’d be here too!”

he chuckles, a light shrug of his shoulders. “me neither. satoru called me last night and asked me to drop by. i had time to kill.”

“you missed me.”

a dubious look. suguru gives a lazy roll of his eyes, avoiding the smug voice to his right. “i saw you last week,” he tuts, an unimpressed expression on his face. “how could i miss you?”

“do you need a reason to miss your best friend?” he shakes his head, slowly, side to side. white locks swaying back and forth. “awful. just awful.”

you stifle a smile, completely unsuccessful. the sun feels nice on your skin, and the scent of the sea is nostalgic, and they’re all the same as ever. it’s like you can feel your nerves melting away, slowly but surely, like grains of sand slipping through the gaps between your fingers.

“the matching shirts are cute,” you point out, wanting to partake in the conversation, only to be met with a pair of furrowed brows.

suguru sighs. “that…” he mutters, massaging his temple, not before shooting satoru a dirty glance. “wasn't planned.”

said man only grins, unperturbed, tucking his phone back into his pocket. thoroughly amused. “he’s mad that i stole his fit,” he chirps, stretching his arms idly. it makes his shirt ride up, ever so slightly, and you swallow a gulp.

“well… you look good in it.”

at that, satoru stills. gazing at you, silently, before breaking out into another grin. self-satisfied, a smooth curve, sunlight against the white of his teeth. you glance away, suddenly a little shy.

“does he?” the other two deadpan, completely in sync. it shoos away the smile on his lips, making way for a displeased frown.

“oh, come on. would it kill you to call me handsome now and then?”

“handsome?” riko places her hands on her hips, raising an unimpressed brow, a sassy lilt to her voice. “you look like a single father down on his luck.”

“seconded,” suguru quips, hiding the beginnings of a smirk. picking at a piece of lint on his shirt. “honestly, i’m surprised you’re wearing any layers at all. not gonna flaunt your abs this time?”

satoru brightens, suddenly. wiggling his brows, a sweet coo on the tip of his tongue. “oh? want me to loosen up a couple buttons?” he purrs, and you hate yourself a little for the instant yes that resounds through your mind. “you know you can always just ask, suguru.”

his teasing goes ignored, but you don’t miss the amusement that flits through the scope of suguru’s eyes, even as he tries to maintain that deadpan expression.

finally, he exhales. “well, see you later,” he hums, directed to you and satomi, checking the time on his wristwatch. “i should probably get going.”

“you’re not staying?” you ask, lashes fluttering with a confused blink. he smiles.

“i am,” he reassures you. “just gonna go fishing for a while. i thought i’d give it a try.”

“fishing?” riko exclaims, covering her amused grin with the palm of her hand. stifling laughter, you can tell, a bout of giggles begging to push past her lips. “what are you, fifty?”

satoru lets out a snort. to his left, suguru goes eerily silent — ominous, staring into your best friend’s eyes with no visible emotion. enough to make her smile fall. you feel a sense of deja vu.

“wait, i’m just kidding!” she suddenly squeaks, clinging to your arm and hiding behind you. she’s always had good survival instincts. ”don’t put me in a headlock!”

(they’re so stupid.

gosh, you missed them.)

“oh, by the way — do you want some shaved ice?” she turns to you, eyes crinkled at the edges, voice syrupy and sweet. “i can go get us some. what flavour do you want?”

“ah, great idea!” satoru matches her tone, tongue flitting out to lick his lips, glossy with chapstick. “i was just craving something sweet.”

“you’re paying, by the way.”

“…”

“so? any preference?” she tilts her head, waiting patiently for your reply. smiling once she gets it. “alright, got it. you, suguru?”

“i’m good. thanks, though.”

“okie-dokie,” she puts her palm out, facing satoru. “money, please.”

he only tuts, digging through his pocket and pulling out a black wallet. you think you spot a photocard, but he’s pulled out a credit card and tucked it back into his pocket before you can get a closer look.

“get me watermelon, okay? strawberry is fine too. if push comes to shove, go for anything other than lemon.” he hands her the card with a click of his tongue. “and watch out for creeps. if anyone hits on you, you know where to aim.”

she pockets it with a huff, exasperation on her features. “i’m twenty-three, toru. i can take care of myself.”

“aww, don’t be like that,” he coos, hands reaching out to squish her cheeks. she tries to squirm away, to no avail. “you’ll always be my little baby sister, you know. and, as your dependable big bro, i —“

“ugh, whatever.” she shoots him an unimpressed glance, finally escaping his hold. ��are you gonna go all men are wolves on us, or something?”

”they are! just look at suguru.”

”hey.”

you hide a growing smile behind your hand, watching them bicker and banter, feeling that sense of peace again. the summer day feels a little like a hazy daydream, a heavy nostalgia that sticks to your bones like gum on the sole of your shoe.

and, once again — you end up alone with a certain someone. suguru walks towards the faraway pier, riko strolls up to the stand selling shaved ice, and satoru lingers behind. you think he looks relaxed, at ease, but you can’t really look at him for too long without feeling nervous. without feeling as if you’re both ignoring the elephant in the room.

it still feels a little like there’s an invisible wall between you.

he’s the first to speak up, craning his neck and stretching like a big cat, a tiny groan escaping him. “well, there they go,” he hums. “what do you feel like doing first?”

“ummm…” you rack your brain for ideas, coming up empty. a little fried by his presence. you could go into the water, and escape the heat — sunbathing with him doesn’t sound so bad, though…

lost deep in thought, you barely notice him inching closer. still weighing your options, water or land, a relaxing nap or a splash war. you don’t notice until you feel his arm sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer, just by a hair. stealing all the oxygen from your lungs.

(you think your brain shuts down a little.)

his touch burns, as always. bare skin on bare skin. electric, a trail of sparks rushing through your veins. he’s warm, and solid, effortlessly composed — guiding you right where he wants you, which is by his chest, where you can practically hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat —

and then he’s pulling away.

you raise your head to meet his gaze, completely flushed, unsure if you were hallucinating or not. he’s looking somewhere behind you, with an oddly cold gaze. you follow his stare, craning your neck, catching a glimpse of a man turning his back on you both before walking away.

… was he staring at you, or what?

when you search for satoru’s eyes again, they’re already on you. he’s smiling, a little sheepish, scratching at the back of his neck.

“sorry,” he chuckles. “i got paranoid.”

oh.

your skin still feels like it’s on fire. a lingering heat, blossoming where his skin touched yours, rendering you speechless.

finally, you gain control over your vocal chords, dry and charred. just enough to croak out a response. “i — it’s fine.”

your eyes stay glued to the sand beneath you, staring at a crushed seashell, unable to look him in the eye. feeling the back of your neck grow hotter. you miss the dirty glance riko sends his way, having just returned with the shaved ice, and the way satoru mouths out a silent what?

it’s easier after that. she grounds you, a little, leading you out into the sea. the water is pleasantly mild, licking at your ankles, coaxing you further, until it’s reaching up to your waist. it cools you down considerably, and before you know it you’re splashing her with all you’ve got, giggles filling the salty air — seagull cries above you and wet sand beneath your feet, a glimmer or two of tiny fish, loud laughter. sensations all around you. satoru watches you with a smile, munching on a sandwich, not joining you both until riko beckons him over.

the day stretches on, melting away into evening. people leave the beach behind them, suguru heads back to the house with a bucket of fish and a smug smile, riko dries herself off with a towel and rushes to a nearby convenience store when she notices that it’s about to close. murmuring something about dinner, shooting you an anxious glance, a silent will you be alright on your own? with him?

you wave her off with a smile. hoping it’ll come off as convincing.

so, one way or another, you end up under a parasol with a certain satoru gojo; putting empty bottles of lemonade back into the picnic basket, rolling up the blanket, stuck with cleaning duty. satoru carries it all, unwilling to let you help, the basket hanging off his arm. you walk away from the beach, stepping onto solid asphalt again, beginning your trekk up towards the main street — not too long of a walk, but you’re tired, even though satoru doesn’t seem tuckered out in the slightest. walking a step or two ahead of you.

the sun is beginning to set, melting like a sundae on the boundary of the horizon, rays of golden sunshine dripping down your wrist. satoru looks good in it, the pink and orange; peaceful, somehow. when the breeze licks a stripe across his cheek, he closes his eyes and exhales. there’s a smile on those lips, a smile of contentment.

he turns towards you and waits until you catch up.

“tired?” he coos, tilting his head, absently tucking his shades into the breast pocket of his shirt. blinking slowly, eyes shimmering in the summery hue of evening.

“kinda,” you smile, trying to muster a pep in your step. another hum buzzes in his throat, and then he’s facing forward again.

“c’mon. let’s get you something from the vending machine, okay? ‘s just up ahead.” he pats your head, once, twice. “that’ll give you some energy.”

you can only nod, following his lead. hydrangeas bloom all around you, a thick syrupy scent, paired with apple blossoms from the backyards you pass. then you spot the vending machine. satoru takes out his wallet, finding his card — it’s not the same one as before. riko still has it.

and this time, you’re close enough to see it. in his wallet is a photocard, clearly visible; of a baby, sleeping soundly, with short tufts of hair. a dark colour unlike his own.

(your heart melts, a little.)

“cola or sprite?”

you raise your head, looking through the barrier of glass in front of you. then you’re stepping forward, fingertip pressing against it, pointing towards a green can of sprite. not looking at him, as you make your choice. ”this one.”

— suddenly, you feel his skin on yours.

you’re sleepy, and pliant, jaw caught between his fingers. he lifts it up, turns it towards him, just so that you’ll meet his gaze. two seas of blue, flecks of pure white, summer skies and summer clouds.

“there,” he exhales, pleased. giving you a reassuring smile before pulling away. “you’ve barely looked me in the eye today. ‘s gonna break my heart, y’know.”

a pause. you gulp, on instinct, shying away from his unbridled attention — eyes moving from those summer skies down to the curve of his glossy lips, and then back up again. a mistake, because when you glance down once more, unable to help yourself, you see it.

that apologetic smile.

(you really are obvious, aren’t you?

how embarrassing.)

silence splits the scene in half, only the faraway sounds of seagulls as background noise. they sound a little like they’re laughing, mocking you.

satoru presses a button on the vending machine, followed by a quiet beep. he doesn’t look at you when he broaches the subject, and you wonder if it’s out of respect or discomfort.

“still not over that schoolgirl crush, huh?”

…

something twists inside your gut. a little ugly, a little sentimental. now that he’s made the first move, it’s easier to move the pieces.

“it’s not a crush,” you murmur, kicking at a pebble on the ground. surprised by how clear your voice comes out. “i’m in love with you.”

a sigh. another beep, and the sound of a sodacan falling against metal flooring. he crouches down.

“… you could really, really do better.”

you watch as he fumbles with the pick-up box, eyes trained on the back of his neck, the buzzed hair of his undercut. letting out a quiet breath. “riko said the same thing.”

a snort pushes past his lips, ripe with fondness. he pulls himself up from the ground, shifting his weight from one foot to another, reaching for his wallet again. “oh, i’m sure.” he tucks the card back, slipping it into his pocket. a stray cat strolls by you, unburdened, waving its tail in the air. “really, though. you should listen to her.”

something cold meets your cheek. metal, condensation, a pleasant shiver down your spine. he presses the aluminium can against you, and you receive it with a murmur of thanks.

“i’m too old for you, for one.” he continues, and suddenly you feel a little like you’re being lectured. you break open the lid of the sprite can.

“you’re four years older.” a fizzy sound crackles like static in your ears, carbonation bubbling up, sticking to your fingertips. “and we’re both adults.”

he huffs out a breath, only mildly amused. “i’m pushing thirty, y’know?”

you take a sip, lips against cold aluminum, melting sunrays lapping at your skin. it tastes sweet.

“i know.” a pause, your bottom lip trapped between two sharp teeth. gnawing at the flesh. ”i can’t control how i feel, though.”

…

“yeah,” he sighs, leaning back against the glass. crossing one leg over the other, fiddling with something in his pocket. “i know.”

a moment passes. then he parts his lips, again.

“hey, how about you join me on a mixer someday?” he searches for your gaze, smiling, another one of those charming tilts of his head. “i know some cute guys. and girls, if that’s your thing.”

your answer is instantaneous.

“i’ll pass.”

…

another exhale, breathed out into the summer air. it drips with exasperation, ripe with fatigue, but there’s still something fond there. unmistakable.

“fine, fine. just… think about it. okay?” his palm finds its way to your head, ruffling your hair gently. that comforting weight. “c’mon, let’s go back. riri’s making dinner tonight.”

and then he’s taking a step forward. you watch his back for only a moment, still deep in thought. a fizzy, syrupy sweetness sticking to your teeth, a sense of nostalgia invading all your senses. and, as always, that silent adoration.

deep down, you know it’s true. there’s no changing this, whatever this is. in the same way riko will always be his baby sister, you’ll always just be the brat that sniffled into his chest after your first fight with her.

he’ll never quite see you the way you’d like him to.

(but, then again, isn’t that a part of it? that subtle, subtle kindness of his. the sense of maturity that asks for nothing in return.)

satoru is a good guy. that’s why you can’t help but adore him, despite everything. can’t help but watch his back as he leaves you behind, wishing you could catch up.

it feels nice, to open yourself up like this. crack the lid of your heart and have him wade through the carbonation. it feels nice to have your feelings be acknowledged, even if they aren’t reciprocated. even if you’re completely delusional, and high on summer joy. it feels nice just to watch him shine.

you gulp down the rest of your sprite, toss it into a trash can across the street, and stumble after him. veins sleepy, heart heavy, overwhelmed by adoration. you’ve already cracked the lid open; everything else comes easy. you just want to make a move, any move. want to see how he’ll react.

“satoru,” you call, and he comes to a standstill. when he turns around your arms are outstretched. “can i have a piggyback ride?”

the man before you blinks. once, then twice, fluttering like angel wings, or pretty clouds.

and then his smile grows. you catch a glimpse of his dimples, for just a moment, and then he’s beckoning you closer with a chuckle.

“yeah? now you’re suddenly all brave?” he shakes his head, no real discontentment behind it. “or are you really that exhausted?”

he studies you intently, ripe with fondness, and you think your sluggish blinks must be enough to convince him. because he crouches down, back facing you, and chirps out a hop on. a little teasing, of course, but still nice. his arms underneath your thigh, lifting you up like it’s nothing. making sure you’re comfortable.

he’s strong. very strong. the butterflies in your stomach flutter around again.

and you really are very exhausted. bones buzzing with something sleepy and fatigued, sore after all the running around you did in the water. completely tuckered out, resting your cheek against his back. like this, you can feel his muscles, the solidity of his body. it’s a little bit distracting.

“— remember?”

a series of blinks. you grasp onto his shoulders, holding back a yawn. “huh?”

“you falling asleep on me?” he chuckles, walking forward. one step after the other, the soles of his sandals hitting the asphalt. “i was saying — how i remember doing this back then.”

you tilt your head.

“when you fell and twisted your ankle. i think it was nearby, actually. some park?”

“... oh.” when you really concentrate, you think you do recall it; the feeling of his back against your chest, a dull ache in your foot. “yeah, i remember.”

satoru hums, a little buzz of amusement. “after that, you and riri would ask me for it all the time. carry us, big bro!” his imitation makes you smile, voice high and squeaky. “so childish, i swear. i could barely carry one of you.”

a chuckle tumbles from your lips, and it seems to spur him on; because he continues. nostalgia pouring out his throat.

“don’t tell her, okay? but, see — i started going to the gym after that. lifting weights. training, and stuff,” he huffs out an amused exhale, grinning softly. “suguru made me carry boulders on the beach. it was kind of our thing.”

…

“we almost got arrested once.”

you can’t help but laugh, hiding in the smooth fabric of his shirt, in between those white printed flowers. shoulders shaking slightly, giddy and amused. “you did that just ‘cause you were embarrassed?”

“no. because i wanted to be prepared,” he murmurs softly. “in case the two of you ever happened to fall over at the same time, or something. i wanted to be able to carry you both back.”

satoru continues to walk, facing away from you. always smiling, you’re sure. even if you can’t see it.

“you’re both precious to me,” he says, making sure to keep his hold around your legs steady. “that’s why i don’t want either of you wasting yourselves on some random guy.”

a displeased huff.

“… you’re not a random guy, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“well, of course not. i’m the guy,” he quips, standing a little straighter, and you can practically see the smug smirk on his lips. “but i’m not a very good person.”

you blink.

silence fills the open air.

he says it so casually that you almost don't catch it. matter-of-factly, like it’s just another obvious realization, something so deeply ingrained that it isn’t even worthy of a tonal shift. satoru, who makes pancakes for the people he loves, who carries your bags and buys you soda and keeps a picture of his baby sister in his wallet.

that satoru isn’t a good person?

(how could he ever, ever think that?)

“you are.”

a low hum buzzes in his throat, absentminded. you’re not sure he hears you. if he does, he simply doesn’t care enough to respond. the scene flickers by, the moment comes and goes — you want to protest again, but something about this silence makes you hesitate.

the only thing you can do is —

“satoru.”

another little hum. acknowledging, this time.

“do you… i mean,” you choke down a bundle of words, replacing them with new ones. gnawing at the flesh of your bottom lip. “is there really no chance… you’ll ever feel the same? none at all?”

…

a mirthless chuckle. he sounds a little tired, you think. more than a little exasperated. but the amusement is still there, laced into his voice, and you drink it in the same way you’ve always done. a little root, soaking in the light of the sun.

“after all that,” he mutters, “you’re still asking?”

a moment’s pause. you listen intently, as if you could hear the gears of his mind shift if you focus enough. as if just being stubborn enough could coax him into opening up the way you have.

finally, he parts his lips.

“well,” comes a sigh, a click of his tongue. he breathes in the summer breeze. “maybe in a couple decades or so.”

you stare. those white tufts of hair sway with every step he takes, and his voice has a finality to it that isn’t lost on you.

“… okay.”

a pause. then he’s barking out a short laugh, shoulders shaking. you tighten your grip around them. “okay?” he repeats, pinching the skin of your thigh. “can’t you read between the lines, you little troublemaker?”

a huff. you kick your legs, a little, just stretching them contentedly. wet hair sticking to his skin, your cheek still smushed against him, enveloped in his neverending warmth. “i don’t mind,” you whisper, choking down a yawn. and you mean it. “i’ve already waited eight years. a couple decades more isn’t too bad.”

silence, again. you wonder what he’s thinking. you wonder if you’ll ever come close to cracking open the lid of his heart. he parts his lips, oxygen spilling out.

(you think it’s a start.)

“has anyone ever told you that you’re awfully stubborn?”

you’re quick to nod, forehead nuzzling into his undercut. wearing a satisfied smile. “riko tells me all the time.”

“does she?” there’s silent laughter hiding between his teeth, eager to spill out. “that’s good. listen to her, alright? you might learn a thing or two.”

he’s teasing you. the sun is setting, and the air smells like saltwater, and satoru’s back is warm. his voice is set to a melodic lilt, and you feel strangely tempted to close your eyes.

and you adore him again.

right — loving him was never a choice, and waiting wasn’t an issue. getting over him is the tall hurdle, the root of the problem, a root you intend you trip over as many times as it takes for this something to bloom.

because he’s beautiful, and comfortable, and kind. because it’s his back you always end up clinging to. because he knows how you like your pancakes, how you take your coffee, what you look like when you cry. because you like this feeling, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. even if they’re completely meaningless in the long run.

satoru is right, and so is riko. you’re stubborn, terribly so — if only you could see that as a bad thing.

if only you were physically capable of giving this something up.

unlike the siblings and their overgrown backyard, you just can’t seem to look away from an ugly bud yet to bloom. just in case it ends up blossoming, this summer, or the next. just in case it turns into something worth plucking from the ground. it’s fine if it withers away, too. at least it’ll give way to better soil.

you just like him. you just want to see where it leads you. that’s all.

“but promise you’ll go with me to that mixer, okay?” his voice calls, breaking you out of your thoughts. unrelenting. ”i’ll find you someone who’ll get your mind off lil ol’ me.”

ah. that’s right.

(you’re terribly, horribly stubborn —

and satoru is too.)

you grin, soft and giddy, thinking of the years ahead of you. what they’ll be like. where’s the fun in a certain future?

“fine,” you hum, wrapping your arms around his neck. inhaling that familiar scent of sandalwood. “do your worst.”

#you’re the kindest in the world #in the universe even!!!!#i wish you all the sugar daddy!gojos and sugus of all flavours <333333 #ALSOOOO THANK YOU FOR THE BLOCK OF CHEESE I’M MUNCHING ON IT SO HAPPILY :3 #🧀🐭 om nom nom….#hhhhh kairo everytime i respond to your rbs i’m always worried that my adoration & gratitude doesn’t come across properly 😔😔#i appreciate you SO much i hope you know that… like this truly made my month #i hope you have the sweetest dreams and wake up to the sun shining in through the blinds!!!#i hope suguru geto hand-feeds you breakfast in bed in your shared apartment as he SHOULD smh…#ALSO. you WILL be alerted whenever i get started on the endings 🙏#need to make sure i have your approval on them hehe #I LOVE YOUUUUUU <333333 #self rb !!

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lolitakirstein · 4 months ago

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CW:Implied smut, pregnancy, Toji being feral for you

Thinking about how Toji loves when your pregnant.

He loves watching your belly grow weekly, constantly comparing it to the week before. Your small little bump in the first trimester drives him wild. “I just look fat” you complain anytime he’d come up behind you and rub on your little pooch that had formed, not yet a solid form distinguishable underneath. “No baby it’s much different, you look so adorable, “ he’d softly pinch the skin, causing you to squeal. Your breast started growing rapidly as you neared your delivery date, and toji adored how swollen they were becoming even though you were still complaining about your changing body “None of my bras fit, they’re so heavy and sore,” “I know baby,” he’d coo at night while he palmed your tender breast to relieve the aches. “But you’re still so sexy. Your perfect tits swollen with milk to feed our baby. Fuck you’re gonna be a pretty mama.” You feared your changing body would make Toji less attracted to you. “Not at all baby, i think this is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked. All knocked up with my child,” he'd say from the couch as he watched you strolling around the house-more like waddling, in nothing but a large tshirt and panties. “Real eloquent, Toji,” you roll your eyes. The final weeks and days of your pregnancy were rough. Your stomach distended so big you worried if you breathed too heavily you would pop. “Look at youuuuuu,” Toji would sigh, getting on his knees infront of you to kiss and rub your sore belly. “Our little guys gonna be big like his daddy.” Sure enough, your little bundle of joy was in fact a large, bouncing 9lb baby boy. And sure enough, Toji was ready get you pregnant again as he watched you breastfeeding your little creation in the rocking chair. “God that’s about the most beautiful sight i’ve ever seen,” he breathed while laying in the floor of the nursery, absolutely swooning over you and your child. “Let’s have another.” “Toji! I just gave birth,” you half laugh half shout. “Yeah?” he shrugged, reaching for your feet and massaging your achey ankles. “You’d look heavenly feeding my child while full of my other one” You playfully kicked him in the chest.

Honestly, Toji would keep you pregnant 24/7/365 if he could. The pride he felt seeing you busting with his child. How your skin glowed from the hormones. Even how your nipples would darken and enlarge, leaking with milk near feeding time- hell he even loved rubbing nipple cream on your sore nipples and breast, always trying to soothe you.

And sure enough, not even a year after the birth of your child, Toji smirked as you showed him the 2 faint lines. “Mmmmm, get to see my baby all big again, fertile little mama.” You only half teased about getting him “fixed”, because you secretly loved being pregnant as well and watching the literal heart eyes pulse in his eyes. The massages were also a plus

#toji fushiguro reader #toji headcannon #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk x reader #dilf toji #fluff toji #toji headcanon #toji #jjk toji #toji zenin #jujutsu kaisen #fushiguro toji #toji x you #jjk fluff #jjk drabble #toji drabbles

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sweet1delusi0ns · 6 months ago

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Naruto boys insecurity’s

──☆*:・ﾟ

!Angst!

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

He’s grown up an outcast so he’s slightly insecure anyways (poor thing). He thinks he’s a bother to you sometimes and gets himself in a slump. You noticed how hes been rather quiet with you, not asking for anything, not begging for cuddles or kisses, you knew something must have been wrong. And it was confirmed when you over heard him talking to himself in the mirror, basically just insulting himself

“Why cant i just do better…” “why do I have to be so annoying…everyone thinks I’m annoying…probably even y/n. They could do so much better why m-” “NARUTO DONT YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE” you bust down the door causing naruto to quickly wipe his teary eyes “hey y/n! W-what do you mean?” “You know what I mean naruto.” You reach for his cheek to make sure he keeps his eyes on you “your not a bother naruto. And you deserve me as much as I deserve you! Why are you saying this?” He’s in full blown tears now, ugly crying and everything “e-everyone already thinks that way about me I-I thought you would think the same after a w-while” he sniffs “foxy…do I need..to show you how much you mean to me?” His eyes widen at the fact that he actually means something to you. For the rest of the night you never left him alone once, you spoiled him so much more that normal which made him feel so much better. He loves youuuuuu

Sasuke🗡️-*

Also was treated like an outcast but it didn’t affect him in the way it affected naruto. He doesn’t really think he’s a bother, if anything he’s scared that you think your the bother, since he’s so “cold” towards you sometimes he’s scared your going to leave or think he doesn’t love you anymore. Once it got so overwhelming for him he had teary eyes for hours just thinking about how he acts, he decided he needed to tell you. Once he found you he ran towards you and engulfed you in a big hug. You thought this was adorable or him being silly until you felt something wet on your shoulder followed by a broken breath

“S-sasuke? What’s wrong…Are you crying?” You could hear a sad whimper coming from him. “I love you. I-I love you so much y/n please don’t forget. No matter how I act I-” “I know. Baby I know. I love you too, what’s this about, your scaring me?” He didn’t dare remove his tear stained head from your shoulder “I know I’m…mean s-sometimes but-” it finally clicked for you why he was so upset all of a sudden “sasuke… your not mean! And I know you love me no matter how you act.” “I..just thought…no one understands how I truly feel. I just Need you to know…t-that I do love you” he pulls away from your shoulder to wipe his eyes before turning away from embarrassment. He felt you wrapping your arms around him causing him to jump. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m just over reacting” “no don’t. Don’t say that… I think we should lay down. You need to relax do you need me to help you? I know you feel…weak” he takes a deep breath “please y/n… yes” you both walk together to your bed. Trust me when I tell you he is going to feel a lot better after some comfort *wink*

Itachi🥀-*

He just feels… worthless sometimes. He just doesn’t feel worthy of good things that happen in his life, aka you. He doesn’t feel worthy of you. But he is very open with you unlike others, he tells you what’s wrong no matter what.

“Y/n. I have uhm… I have some feeling I would like to share.” “Of course Love, what’s up?” “I…” You gaze softens realizing he’s going to get upset “I don’t feel worthy.” “Oh…tachi… come here” you pat the spot next to you but instead he took your lap instead, he reaches in for a hug before speaking up again “tell me you love me. Please. And tell me I’m worthy…” “you are the love of my life. And you are worthy of that love. No matter what you think you deserve love.” That is all he needs to hear. Although he gets very upset you can always calm him down. It does happen more often but you do not care. Anything to make him feel better.

Kakashi🍃-*

We all know he’s very attractive but that doesn’t mean he thinks the same. He doesn’t like his scar, he doesn’t like the story it holds and he doesn’t like the look of it. He can hold back the insecurity in battle because he knows it’s not worth dying because he thinks it’s ugly, but he cant hold back the insecurity on a day to day basis with you, he gets extremely timid with you. You see him with the mask off all the time so it’s kinda funny that you rarely see him without something covering his eye. But you just thought he forgets it’s there so you didn’t think about insecurity, but when you walk in on him washing his face he almost instantly covered his eye with his palm you knew something was wrong

“Ay? Why you covering that cute face?!” “Aha thanks y/n” he chuckles trying to make you ignore it yet he still kept his hand up “serious what’s with your hand?” “Well..ah you know..” he points to his eye with his other hand “what your scar? Babe I don’t care” he smiles softly before replying “I care…” “take your hand away” “I’d rather not-” “kakashi.” Groans “yes y/n…” he drops his hand and you let out a content sigh “there’s my baby” you grab his face with both hands and kiss his scar softly “you don’t find it odd?” He looks away while blushing “no kakashi I don’t find it odd because I love you.” He flashes a smile before turning back to the mirror with a weird look still on his face, to lighten the mood you grabbed him my the cheeks to shake his head back and forth before giggling at him. “Cutiee” you comment before kissing his beauty mark then walking back out the door.

Kiba🐺-*

He’s sensitive, he may be a big joker but if someone else says the wrong thing he will not be happy, normally the only thing he doesn’t like being called is a mutt or a dog. It makes him feel ashamed of him family quirk. Just because he loves animals doesn’t mean he is one right? He started thinking maybe he is just a dog. A Dirty, annoying, unfunny mutt. He started to feel like foolish for loving a dog so much, but he can’t help it it’s the family he was born into.

He has been rather distant from akamaru, still taking him on mission but recently he hasn’t been letting his puppy in the house as much anymore and he gets upset when you let him in instead. “Why did you let him in the house y/n!” “His a good boy he won’t chew up furniture if anything you would!” You we’re just trying to lighten the mood but it didn’t help “akamaru outside now!” He commands “come on why don’t you want him inside??” “You don’t need two mutts in the house y/n” this confused you for obvious reasons “two mutts? Are you talking about yourself? Your not…your not a dog thought?” He crosses his arms in protest “tell that to my friends, Or anyone because for some reason they all think I am a dog stuck in human form and it’s getting old.” You chuckle nervously “your not? If your talking about your dog like features and fighting style it’s just your quirk? It’s not your fault you can’t choose” he lowers his head “even you think I’m a dog sometimes!” “No baby. I dont I think that. your a human just with some animal features but most of your family is like that?” “If you don’t think I’m an animal why do you call me names like puppy.” He’s stretching, he loves it when you call him that he’s just in a mood “I call you that because you love attention and can’t go a day without seeing your loved ones. Plus your as cute as a pup!” His shoulders relax finally realizing he shouldn’t be upset over this. “I just feel ashamed of who I am sometimes y/n I’m sorry.” “Don’t be sorry. I love who you are if that makes it better” he chuckles “yeah…it kind of does make it better honestly…can you kiss me..?” He smile at his sudden change of mood “of course!”

Shikamaru🀄️-*

He knows he’s good looking but he also knows he’s not the best, he also knows your absolutely stunning, so it gets to him sometimes without realizing is, he changes his look every now and then to see if it would make him feel better. Maybe make him more attractive to you he hopes

“Dear could you turn around please?” “Sure shika whats u-” you stop dead in your tracks with a shocked look on your face “your hair is down!!!” You exclaim, the only time you see his hair down is when he is sleeping, you’ve never seen it down when he’s awake “I know, I’m trying something, does it look good?” You giggle “You always look good darling, just not use to it that’s all” you walk over to grab a handful of his hair which was slicked back but not up in a ponytail anymore. “Well I think you look handsome no matter what” he groans “don’t lie to me does it make me look worse?” You give him a nasty look “worse? You say that as if you already look bad…?” “Well eh-” “well what? Your very attractive Shika do you think other wise?” He puts his hands in his pockets “uhm sometimes-” “oh come on!” You grab his face “your soooo handsome no matter what you do with your hairrrr” you tease. He continued to make eye contact with you while a smile grows on his face. “…can I put a little braid in your hair?” “No” “Aw man.”

Shino🪲-*

He’s ok with his looks and doesn’t feel like a burden on you, oddly enough the only thing he’s insecure about is his voice. He thinks he sounds funny sometimes and doesn’t like how raspy it is, that’s why sometimes he doesn’t talk to you that much. Sometimes all he responds with is either nodding his head or shaking it which makes you feel bad

“What do you feel for dinner love bug?” “…” you looked around because maybe he left the room but no, he just didn’t respond. “Uhm hello???” “…” “are you hungry?” He shakes his head yes “with words please?” He looks around before responding quietly “yes I’m hungry” you giggle not quiet knowing what’s up with him “why are you so timid right now?” He finally speaks up “do you think I sound funny y/n?” “Uh no? Why” “sometimes I feel like my voice isn’t that pleasing.” “It sound pleasing to me-” he lightened up at the compliment “really?” “Yes of course!” When he’s insecure he normally gets over it fast, he’s rational and knows when he’s just being silly

Neji🎋-*

He knows he can choose his own destiny, he just wish the preset plan for him was burned into his forehead. He hated it so much, he was disgusted by it and therefor disgusted with himself. Sometimes you find him crying in the mirror over the symbol plastered onto him. But you always let him know that it doesn’t define him

You could hear cries coming from the bathroom and you couldn’t take it anymore so you decide to knock “sweetheart…are you crying?” He knew there was no point in lying anymore “y-yes..” “may I come in?” You could hear a cracked “mhm…” coming from the other side or the door so you walk in, immediately pulling him into your chest. “What happened. Did Someone do this?” He pulls away from your chest just to look back to the mirror to cover his mark while his lip quivered. You finally realized what was happening. “Give me your hand please..” he obliged lowering his hand. You grabbed his cheek and gave a very long forehead kiss. “Your worth more than this mark Neji.” You mumble against his head. You decided the best thing to do is go to bed and give him more love so that’s just what you did

Lee🥋-*

He may seem strong so it was shocking to you when he confided in you about how he’s insecure about almost everything about him (poor thing) he try’s to stay strong but he can’t help but get vulnerable with you

All you were doing was giving him love but he just felt unworthy of it. “My handsome, strong, perfect boy!~” kiss “well I don’t know if those words are accurate but thank you my precious!” You huff at his self doubt “don’t say that, your all of those things?” He laughs nervously “I don’t think so heh” “you are! You don’t think your handsome or strong…?” You frown “well uhm y/n…It obvious I’m not the best looking, and yeah I’m strong but…I could always be stronger.” He looked down at his feet in shame “Lee…take it back.” “W-what” “take it back. No one is allowed to insult my baby like that, not even himself.” He thought you were just joking until he looked up into your eyes to see the seriousness that laid in them, he could see tears forming in your eyes. “Please Lee. Take it back.” “I-I…I take it back y/n I’m sorry” “please…don’t ever say things that that again”

Choji🍥-*

He’s always been bullied because of his weight so of course he will be extremely insecure about it and anxious when your trying to love up on him, you knew he was insecure about it and you always told him it did it matter but you never realized to much it really affects him until your further into the relationship and you started to be more physically affectionate, he loves the affection just hates the body that it receiving it. All you were trying to do was hold him after a long day but he seemed so scared of if and you had to ask why

“Cmon let me hug you!” “No y/n..” you pout “why not! I wanna hold my fluff ball!” He cups his hands together then proceeded to look at the floor “I don’t think holding me is even possible…” your pout turned into a confusion “uh what do you mean choj?” He pinched at his stomach to hint at what he was talking about since he was to shy to actually tell you “oh…Choji you don’t need to worry about that I don’t care!” “I care because it means I can’t do certain things! How are you supposed to hold me!” You scoff “I’m confident I could carry you like a baby if I needed too.” “Your just saying that to make me feel better…” he crosses his arms and puffs his cheeks up out of timidness “I’m being serious Choji! I could totally carry you! Your not as big as you think you are.” He closes his eyes so tears dont form “I’d like to see you try y/n, you won’t be able t-” since his eyes were closed he didn’t see you walk over to his side, he only realized when he felt your arm latch around his shoulders and your other cupping around his legs. He open his eyes right in time to realize you just picked him up bridal style. He gasps in reaction, he turns to your face to see not a single ounce of struggle on your face “I told you! Your not that heavy choj!” This Moment honestly cured almost all his insecurity on that subject for a very long time. And sometimes he thinks “maybe she’s just really REALLY strong” he still loves the thought behind your actions. “Heh uhm…I guess maybe I’m not. Thank you sweetie!” “Anytime bubs~” with that you place him back down on his feet and give him a very passionate kiss

Gaara⏳-*

Most of his life he was basically controlling by either others or his inner demon so he didn’t have time to worry about appearance. But ever since he finally felt in control of his own life he now worries about his appearance sadly. He doesn’t like the mark on his head, he doesn’t really like his hair either and feels like his facial features just look wrong on him. He’s very good at hiding things so you didn’t realize until you overheard a conversation with him and his brother, he figured since kankuro is considered attractive maybe he should ask him for advice!

You were wondering around trying to find Gaara to ask him god knows what until you finally hear his voice along with kankuros, you walked behind the door about to knock until gaara’s question caught your attention. “So is there anything that could make me more ‘attractive’ or something along the lines of that?” “I don’t know? Maybe try face paint chicks dig it” you could hear a sigh leaving Gaara “I don’t want to attract ‘chicks’ I just want to attract y/n.” “What makes you think she doesn’t already feel attracted to you?” “I don’t know, I just feel like if I find myself unattractive maybe she does too.” That’s enough, you have to stop this. You knock on the door making them both look at it, you swing the door open and immediately look at gaara which was all it took for kankuro to take the hint “I’m just gunna..goooo…” you and him exchange nods before he leaves. Once the door shut you look back at gaara “what was all that?” “Oh so you heard?” “Yes gaara I heard, why do you find yourself unattractive? And why are you going to your skanky brother for help?” He turns his head to continue speaking “I can’t explain why I feel that way about myself, but I went to my brother because I know he is considered attractive to others.” You sit next to gaara and grab his chin to make him look at you. You lean closely to speak “how could you not love this face~” you whisper almost seductively while you drag your thumb across his cheek bone. “What don’t you like…?” His breath hitched out of fear of spilling his insecurity’s. “I guess…I don’t like the mark on my head, and I don’t like my nose much either, I also don’t really care for my hair it makes me look like a clown sometimes.” He’s waiting for you to agree with him but instead you lean closer to kiss everything he listed, first his little nose, then his marking and then you drag your hand through his hair which made him flushed. “Well I like Everything about you…” he finally makes eye contact with you, with red cheek. He took a big deep breath to reply “ok…thank you y/n. That makes me feel a bit better” you reach in for a hug which he gladly accepted!

Kankuro🪆-*

Even though he seems so hot and confident he’s much like his brother, sometimes he doesn’t like his bare face. He has make up on almost all day so rarely do you see him without any on, and when you do see him bare faced he’s weirdly shy which isn’t like him.

You both were in bed after work and you were just having a conversation, mostly it was just you talking which was weird because he’s normally high maintenance. “I couldn’t believe she had the audacity to say something like that, what do you think babe did she have a good point?” “I don’t know” his head is slightly turned to the side opposite of you which made it almost impossible to see him, he just washed his face so he’s completely bare faced yet won’t even look at you. “Babe? Cmon atleast look at me when I’m talking” “UGHHHHHHHH fine.” He turns to You shyly avoiding eye contact before replying “she’s in the wrong for saying that honestly-” you laugh “that’s exactly what I’m saying!……” you stared at his cute bare face for a little to long which made him anxious “what are you looking at y/n!” “I’m looking at your cute facee *boop*” he pulled away from your finger just to cross his arms “whateverr” you didn’t know at the time he wasn’t feeling his best but later he did tell you. But he still loves the compliment you give no matter how insecure he is at the time. Only you can make him feel better tbh

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sunrizef1 · 3 months ago

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What happens in Vegas pt 15

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Driver!Reader

Authors Note: IM ALIVEEEEEE

Warnings: Cursing “kys”

Masterlist

TWITTER

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MESSAGES

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logansargeant

I don't think that's in your meal plans

yourusername

Shut up Logan 😐

logansargeant

😂😂😂😂

——

lewishamilton

🫶

yourusername

🫶

——

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their close friends story

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Spain

liked by charles_leclerc logansargeant and 6,888,009 others

yourusername te amo

load comments…

user1 OH MY GOD SHE POSTED SHE POSTED

user2 her first insta post since Vegas we cheered 😭

user3 LMAO dating Charles leclerc and only posting the top of his head I love her sm

user4 that's where they went 😭

user5 viva la españa

user6 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸

user7 awww I love them

carlossainz you come to Spain and don't see me?

yourusername I don't like you

carlossainz 😔

user8 wait I love that this is her only post and its Charles 🥹

user9 can we see the rest of that photo??? 😭

user10 EL GATO EL GATO EL GATO

user11 🐱🐱🐱

user12 WAIT ✋ “TE AMO”?????

user13 I LOVE YOUUUUUU

user14 I adore them

user15 my fav championship leaders

landonorris Im still mad you abandoned me

liked by yourusername

user16 te amo???? 😭

lilymhe my fav girl 🫶 (and her bf or whatever)

yourusername 🫶🥹

porscheracing dont have too much fun 🤓☝️

liked by yourusername

user17 I love them sm its not even funny

logansargeant whats that Taylor swift song??? Come back… be here????

yourusername I don't even live in London

logansargeant well actually, you have a London house 🤓☝️

logansargeant (i know that because I have broken in multiple times)

yourusername oh so its your rat-looking-ass that's been triggering my ring doorbell

landonorris oh so you'll ring doorbell the London home but not Monaco 🙄

user18 wait her brother is lowk in the likes…

user19 oh to be on a Spanish vacation with Charles leclerc

charles_leclerc te amo 🤍

yourusername 🤍

user20 alright now, its been two weeks, lets get to imola

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TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

WOAHHHHH

THATS RUDE

yourusername

I’m not a fan of you as a person

logansargeant

And if I said that made me sad then what

yourusername

Kys

logansargeant

😱😱😱😱

——

georgerussell

That’s not nice

yourusername

Blame Lando for knocking my drink over

georgerussell

But I didn’t do anything 😔

yourusername

You watched it happen and that’s bad enough

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landonorris

I ALREADY SAID IM SORRYYYY

yourusername

🖕🖕🖕🖕

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lewishamilton

What did I do?

yourusername

I’m so sorry you’ve been caught in the crossfire of Landos actions 😔✊

But nope

You don’t

So sorry unc 🙏

lewishamilton

😔😔😔😔

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charles_leclerc

I don’t even get a tag?

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yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

WHAT THE FUCK

ARE YOU KIDDING

YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

yourusername

Lmfao that’s my boyfriend

Ur my annoying little brother

Why would I tag you 🫶

logansargeant

Kys

🖕🖕🖕🖕

I will not forget this

yourusername

Love u ☺️🫶

logansargeant

I hate u ☺️🫶

——

landonorris

Oh I see how it is

yourusername

“How it is” is me posting my bf

Whats ur problem

landonorris

😔😔😔😔

We don't need a reminder of your happy relationship pls die

Not all of us have found our soulmates

yourusername

☺️🫶

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georgerussell

Oh okay

yourusername

🙄🙄🙄🙄

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lewishamilton

…

yourusername

I don't want to hear it grandpa

lewishamilton

Woah now

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charles_leclerc

🤍🫶

yourusername

🤍🫶

——

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #charles leclerc x fem!driver #charles leclerc x fem!driver!reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smau #f1 x fem!reader #f1 smau

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notquitejiraiya · 4 months ago

Text

AHHHHHH SAUNA SCENE LOOK AT HIMMMMMM

I’m kicking my feet look at HIIIIIIIM he looks so good 😍 thank you so much!!

'Temari scoffed. “Oh, no fuck this,” she laughed, uncrossing her arms. She put her palm beside the door, grabbed the handle, and ripped it open. She shook her head. “I’m not doing this. I’m criticised enough as it is without standing here listening to you insulting—”

“Shut the door.”

She scowled but didn’t move.

“Shut the door, Temari,” Shikamaru repeated. There was a sharp edge to his voice that hadn’t been there the first time. A sharp edge unlike anything she’d heard from him before. “You won’t really leave. You’ll just stand in the doorway again and let all the heat out. Shut it.”

Grandmaster on ao3 by @notquitejiraiya

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allgoodnamesrgoneee · 4 months ago

Note

jude x famous!reader(or normal!reader) . Where him and and reader have been together since they were young (like 16/17) and she is really close jude family, like close with jobe and Denise. thank youuuuuu💕

Family

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Jude is late to your graduation but at least Denise and Jobe are there.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Jude Bellingham x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 3.0k

Warnings! FLUFF, sweetness, Denise is the mom, Jobe being his adorable self as usual, nervous reader, smart reader, graduation, A surprise at the end.

Your hands were shaking, breathing uneven as you stared at the sea of people in front of you. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, you were so nervous that you couldn't focus on anything else but your own fear and panic.

"Hey," a voice said, cutting through your anxious, spiraling thoughts. "Hey, look at me."

You look up to see Jobe in front of you. His eyes, the same warm brown as Jude's, were wide open as he stared at you, his hand reaching for your face. He cupped your cheeks, holding your gaze on his own. "Calm down," he told you softly. "Breathe. I'm here. Dad's here, Mom's here, Jude'll be here soon. You're going to kill it out there, I know you will."

You nodded, trying to breathe. You felt Denise's hands on your shoulders, her fingers digging into your skin as she rubbed them in a soothing way. "We're proud of you, sweetheart, so proud of you," she murmured as you tried to calm down.

Jobe leaned down and pressed his lips against your forehead, giving you a quick kiss before he pulled back. "I love you," he said softly.

You smiled, feeling a sense of calm wash over you. "I love you too," you said.

Denise pulled you in for a hug, holding you close as Jobe did the same. You hugged them both back, feeling your heart slow down. You were so grateful for them being here. Thankful to these people who had been your rock for the last four years.

You met Jude in high school, when you were sixteen, and he was seventeen. It was a rocky start, with you guys constantly arguing and trying to one up each other, but soon enough, you both found yourselves falling for one another. His family welcomed you with open arms, his mother and younger brother being especially nice to you.

Growing up in an orphanage, you didn't have anyone to rely on. And after you were kicked out at eighteen, all you had was them, and they took you in, welcoming you into their family like you had always been a part of it. Jude promised you that they would take care of you.

And he was right.

Denise, had always been like a mother to you. She was the one who helped you with your hair before a date, who cooked you meals when you were sick, and who would listen to you vent about Jude. She was there when you got your first job. There when you felt like the world was crumbling around you. Always offering a shoulder to cry on. She loved you like you were her own. The daughter she always wanted.

Mark had taken his role as your sole father figure. He wasn't the kind of man to shower you with affection through words, but his actions spoke volumes. He'd silently slip money into your wallet when he knew you were struggling, or stay up late to help you study for an exam. He was the one who'd taught you to change a tire, who'd cheered the loudest at your high school graduation. When you doubted yourself, he'd remind you of your strength with a simple nod, as if to say, "You got this."

Jobe, on the other hand, had become the brother you never had. He was fifteen when you met, the sweetest boy. You'd always been like an older sister to him, looking out for him whenever you could and being there for him when he needed someone. Him too. He was always there with a joke to lift your spirits. Listened to you when you needed to talk. And was fiercely protective. Your true partner in crime.

And then there was Jude.

Your soul mate. Your first everything. The person you fell in love with. Your forever. Your best friend. You guys were inseparable, from the day you met. He had been your rock for the last four years. Your guiding light. He made your life better, made you better.

He had seen you at your best and at your worst, and loved you through it all. He was the one who held you close on sleepless nights, whispering words of comfort and love. He was the one who believed in you, even when you didn't believe in yourself. He was your rock, your anchor, the love of your life.

Now, after four years together, Jude was still your boyfriend, and his parents and brother were like family to you.

And they'd come to support you at the biggest moment.

You had just finished your last year of college, graduating with honors at the age of twenty. A year early. You were still freaking out over the fact that you had gotten out of college a year early. And now you were here, ready to accept the award as valedictorian and give a speech.

It was a huge honor and a dream come true, and you were so lucky that the people you loved were there to watch it happen. But you were scared. Terrified that you would mess up, say something stupid, fall on your ass on stage. That everyone would hate your speech and think you didn't deserve to be there.

But Mark, Denise and Jobe were here for you. And soon so would Jude.

You pulled away from Denise and Jobe, taking a deep breath. "When did Jude say he was going to get here again?" You asked.

"He said he'd be here an hour ago, but that he might be late," Jobe replied.

You nodded, feeling a sense of disappointment. You'd really wanted Jude to be here to see you walk on stage, but whatever he's doing must be important. So you couldn't be mad at him for it. He has never let you down since you've known him and you knew he wouldn't let you down now.

"Okay," you said.

A voice cut through the noise backstage, someone telling you it was time to go on stage. "Oh my god," you breathed, your nerves coming back again.

Denise reached out and took your hand, pulling you in for a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "We'll be out there in the front row," she said. "Go get them, baby."

You nodded, letting out a shaky breath. Your mouth was dry and your hands were sweaty. You felt like you were going to puke at any moment.

You force out a smile. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice hoarse from the lump in your throat. "I love you both."

"We love you too, honey," Denise said.

Jobe gave you a thumbs up. "Kick ass out there," he said as you hugged them both again before they left.

"You can do this Y/N." you mutter to yourself. You took a few deep breaths, trying to get your nerves under control. You had a few more minutes to spare before you went out there so you took the opportunity to calm yourself down.

You did this, you reminded yourself. You'd done the hard work, and this was your reward. You deserved to be here.

You thought back to when you first walked into the university four years ago. You'd been scared and unsure if you belonged, but you knew that you wanted to make something of your life. And you were here now, standing backstage with a degree secured. You'd made it. You'd actually done it.

A loud voice cut through your thoughts and you looked up to see one of the event planners standing next to you. "Ready?" she asked.

You nodded, letting out a breath as she gestured for you to walk out on stage. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your palms were sweating. You felt dizzy. This was it, the moment of truth.

The crowd was quiet as you stepped out, a smile on your face, your eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar face. And then you saw them.

Denise, Mark, Jobe and Jude were sitting in the front row. Jobe and Mark were smiling at you, beaming with pride. They both held signs saying 'Congratulations' and 'We're so proud of you'. Denise was crying, her eyes red rimmed.

Jude was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes shining with pride. He was wearing a button down shirt and dress pants, looking handsome. You smiled back at him, feeling your heart swell with love for this man.

He mouthed the words 'I love you' and you mouthed them back.

The announcer spoke your name and you walked up the steps to receive your award. You took it with shaking hands, mouthing 'thank you' to the presenter.

You moved the microphone to stand in front of the crowd. You were used to public speaking, and had practiced your speech countless times, but you were still nervous.

"Thank you," you said, trying to control your breath. "Thank you to everyone here today. To my classmates, my professors, and my family."

You glanced at Jude, Denise and Mark. "Without them I wouldn't be here," you said. "I want to thank them for their unwavering support and love. Without them I'd be lost." You paused, trying not to cry.

"To the class of 2024 who are graduating," you continued. "We made it. Congratulations to all of us for getting through these four years. And for those who didn't make it, who failed a class or two, who had to retake an exam. For those who are struggling, for those who are feeling lost."

You took a breath, looking at Jude who was smiling at you, his eyes warm. "It's okay to be lost," you said. "To fail. To struggle. It's okay not to have your shit together. Because you will get through this, I promise. Most of you may not know me personally, but if there's one thing I've learned in these past four years, it's that the journey is just as important as the destination. Every setback, every tear, every moment of doubt has shaped us into who we are today. We've faced challenges head-on, and we've come out stronger on the other side."

You paused, allowing the words to sink in, feeling the weight of their truth. The audience was silent, hanging on to your every word.

"I stand here today not just as a graduate, but as someone who has learned to embrace the unknown. To those who are scared of what's next, who feel the pressure of expectations weighing them down, know that it's okay to take your time. It's okay to find your own path, even if it's different from what you planned. Life is full of surprises, and sometimes the best things come from the unexpected."

Your eyes swept the crowd, meeting Jude's gaze once more. He winks at you making you smile.

"We've all had people who supported us, who believed in us when we didn't believe in ourselves. For me, that has been my family—Denise, Mark, Jobe, and Jude. They have been my rock, my anchor, and my greatest cheerleaders. To them, I owe everything."

You took a deep breath, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. "And to Jude, my love, my best friend, thank you for standing by me through everything. Your belief in me has been my strength, and your love has been my guide. I am so grateful for you."

A tear slid down your cheek, but you smiled through it.

"As we go forward from here, let's carry with us the lessons we've learned, the friendships we've made, and the memories we've created. Let's be kind to ourselves and to others. Let's chase our dreams with passion and perseverance. And let's never forget that we are capable of more than we ever imagined."

The crowd erupted in applause as you held up your diploma, bursting with joy. Happy that you were done with your speech and that it hadn't gone that bad.

Looking to the crowd again, you saw that Jude was missing from his seat. You frowned, wondering what was going on. Before you could think too much about it, the crowd's applause shifted into cheers, looking at the other side of the stage. You followed their gaze and felt your heart skip a beat.

There he was, walking towards you with a determined yet nervous look on his face. Jude Bellingham.

You could hear the murmurs of astonishement all around you wondering what Jude Bellingham was doing at a college graduation.

"Jude?" You whispered, unable to form words.

You felt the heat of his hand on your back as he moved to stand next to you, silently handing you the bouquet. You were so stunned that you forgot where you were, until you heard the laughter and the gasps of the crowd. You turned to see the Dean and everyone else staring at you, their faces shocked and confused.

"Oh my god," you whispered, feeling your face burn red with embarrassment. But before you could ask what he was doing he took the microphone from the announcer, his hands trembling slightly, cleared his throat and turn his face towards the crowd.

"Sorry for the interruption everyone," his voice was shaky, uncertain. "But I've been waiting for a moment to ask this question for years. And there's no better time than now." What is going on? you thought to yourself.

He looked at you, his eyes pouring out nervousness, and took a deep breath before speaking. "Y/N," he began, his deep voice echoing through the auditorium. "From the moment I met you," he continued. "I knew you were special. That you were meant to be mine." Tears were streaming down your face at this point. Your hands covering your mouth, unable to believe what was happening. You were going to die from happiness.

The audience fell silent, hanging on his every word. Jude continued, his voice steadying as he spoke from his heart. "And over the past four years, I've fallen more and more in love with you, every single day. You've challenged me, supported me, and loved me in ways I never thought possible."

He paused, taking a step closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. "I had a better speech prepared, but standing here, all I can think about is how much I love you and how I want to spend the rest of my life with you." The crowd gasped, and you felt your heart race, your breath catching in your throat.

He dropped to his knees and you almost passed out. Is he doing what you think he is doing? Oh god, please be real.

"Y/N," he said, his voice trembling with emotion, "Will you marry me?" He held out a small black box, his eyes shining with tears. "I love you," he said, his voice cracking.

Tears were streaming down your face at this point and you could hardly breathe. Looking out into the crowd you spotted Denise and Jobe crying. Mark was grinning from ear to ear.

The crowd's reaction faded into the background as you stared at Jude, his eyes full of hope and love. You looked at the diamond ring in his hand, at the way it sparkled in the light. At the man who'd become your soul mate.

You didn't hesitate. With a sob, you nodded, tears streaming down your face as he slid the ring onto your finger. He stood up, pulling you into his arms as you wrapped your hands around his neck, holding him close.

This couldn't be real, you thought. There was no way this was real. You were dreaming. You had to be.

And then you felt it. The cool metal on your finger, fitting perfectly as if it had been made for you. It was. You looked down at it, seeing the diamond ring sparkle in the light. You gasped, tears streaming down your face.

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause again, but all you could focus on was the man in front of you. The world seemed to blur, and it felt like it was just you and Jude in that moment. You clung to him, your heart pounding with disbelief.

"I can't believe this," you whispered into his ear, your voice trembling. "Is this really happening?"

Jude pulled back slightly, cupping your face in his hands. "Yes," he said softly, his forehead resting against yours. "This is real. We’re real."

"I love you so much," you murmured, your voice barely audible over the commotion around you. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you gazed into Jude's soft brown eyes, melting with love for you.

"I love you too, Y/N," Jude whispered back. He kissed your forehead gently, squeezing you tighter agaisnt his body leaving no space between you two. "I've been waiting to do this for so long."

You chuckled softly through your tears, overwhelmed by the surrealness of the proposal. "I can't believe you did this, When did you plan this?" you managed to say, still in disbelief as you looked down at the ring on your finger.

But you knew that it was real, that this was happening. Because he had done it in the most Jude Bellingham way possible, proposing to you in front of everyone in the world. You could feel the cameras on, you hear the clicks.

This would be all over the news.

Jude pulled back slightly, a smile on his face. "A couple months ago," he said sheepishly. "I wanted to surprise you,"

"Oh my god, you did," you laughed through your tears. You leaned into him, burying your face in his neck, breathing him in.

"I can't wait for you to be my wife," Jude whispered, his warm breath against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You looked up at him, leaning closer so your lips were brushing. "I can't wait either," you whispered back before pressing your lips against his in a sweet, tender kiss.

-Bianca🌻

#footballer x reader #football #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude x reader #jude x you #jb5 #bellingham

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undiscovered-horizon · 1 year ago

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Hi! I really enjoy your one piece writings, they have given me so much comfort when I don't feel okay 😭

Can I please get a Mihawk (I'm completely in love w this man aah) imagine where his wife is a sensitive person who gets sad when someone is rude to them but they feel insecure couse they think it's stupid

Thank youuuuuu ❤️🥺

First of all, I'm honoured that I can provide a source of comfort to you. I'm glad my work has made you feel better in your time of need.

Second of all: oh yessss bestie this hits the spot. It also reminds me of a wonderful scene in The Gentlemen (10/10, highly recommend) [it also hits close to home because I am a sensitive person]

The thing about strong people is that they make others want to be just as strong, which isn't always easy if even possible. You've always known you're a little 'softer' than most people but only after marrying Mihawk did you find the difference in temperament bothersome. Instead of considering your sensitivity a fact of nature, you've begun to find it a flaw, something that you should change about yourself.

You've never admitted it to yourself but the truth is plain and simple - you think it's embarrassing. That Mihawk will find your sensitivity embarrassing. Maybe if you had been up-front about it with your husband, you'd learn that he adores your soft heart. If he felt forthcoming enough, perhaps you'd even hear that you're the source of warmth and light in his life. Hence he calls you his 'sun'.

To say that Mihawk grew concerned when he heard your muffled sobs would be like not saying anything. A delicious euphemism at best. Anger and fear bubble inside his chest. There's a strange itch in his hands that eggs him to wreak havoc.

"Apple of my eye," his voice carries well through the rather empty room you're both staying at currently. "What is the meaning of this?"

Frantically wiping away your tears, you look over your shoulder to meet his gaze. Mihawk is leaning against the doorframe, blocking the entrance if you so wish to run away from this situation.

"Oh, it's nothing. Really, I'm alright. No need to worry," you half-heartedly attempt to reassure him.

The swordsman loudly exhales through his nose. He's your husband, worrying about you is his duty. In slow steps, Mihawk walks over to the edge of the bed where you're sitting. Pride and titles as if forgotten, he drops on one knee in front of you. One of his hands gently squeezes your knee.

Unsure what's the best way to go about these circumstances, you timidly meet his intense gaze. The passion in his yellow eyes makes you think of a maelstrom captured in a jar - something devastating held back by a miracle. He's already seething, just doesn't yet know who exactly to direct his violence at.

"Indulge me," he prompts you to confide in him. There's a rare sense of pleading in his tone.

So indulge him you do - you tell Mihawk all about the unpleasant encounter with a local tearaway. Your husband tries his best to control his expression as you recount the unambiguously offensive words, unwanted touches and threats of real violence coming from someone who was probably looking for a cowardly scapegoat to vent his anger. As you continue your story, tears just keep rolling down your cheeks, fear and humiliation finally finding their way out of your heart.

"I know I'm being stupid," you mumble as you clumsily wipe your face, "he was just rude and it's not like he actually hurt me but-"

Mihawk's touch makes you cut your sentence short. His hand, its skin rough and calloused, gently cups the side of your face. Your hot, salty tears disperse as his thumb slowly rubs them away. Something about the tenderness of his touch, of hands that have killed and maimed, is enough to make you feel like you're about to break in his arms. Even if you do, you know that when dawn breaks you will be whole again, put back together with the unending love Mihawk holds for you.

"You've always been too good, my sun," he tells you in a low voice. He could have said 'too soft' or 'too sensitive' but then his remark would come off as deceitful as it would suggest his dislike towards your nature. Nothing of that sort - Mihawk genuinely thinks you're a better person than most people walking this plane. And he'd rather succumb to torture than let anyone make you feel bad about that.

The man leans in and places his warm lips against your forehead. Without much effort, he lays you down on the bed and you let him. Even if you wanted to fight back, you're way too tired to do so.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing your face, neck, arms and back as he's waiting for you to fall asleep. The anticipation doesn't require much patience - Mihawk's tender touches lull you to peaceful slumber rather swiftly. When he's sure that you're asleep, he kisses your forehead again before cautiously leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Perhaps he can't turn back the time and make the offending man choke on his words but he can ensure that the tearway won't hurt you ever again. Someone resting in peace so you can rest peacefully is a good bargain.

Mihawk knows exactly who he's looking for. He made a note of a certain characteristic trait you had mentioned - an earring with a single, red-coloured feather. It doesn't seem like a piece of jewellery that would be common anywhere.

It doesn't take much to find the tearaway. He makes his presence well-known as he stumbles out of a tavern, his legs almost giving away with each step.

So he assaults random women minding their business and then gets blackout drunk. It's pathetic enough to consider his death merciful.

Staying true to his name, the swordsman stalks his prey before lunging. Appearing as another patron of the inn, Mihawk follows the stranger around the corner towards barns, stables and pigstys. Fitting place for the likes of him, Dracule thinks to himself.

The man with the curious earring staggers his way towards a drinking trough. He's fumbling with his pants, desperately trying to pull them down to relieve himself but his fingers are not dextrious enough.

Mihawk picks up the pitchfork leaning against the barn wall. In one, swift motion he gores the tool through the back of the man's knee. A guttural scream tears through the night as he falls to the ground.

The swordsman grabs a fistful of the tearaway's hair. He forces the kneeling man to look up into his seething, yellow eyes.

"Do I owe you money?" The man is slurring his words. He squints his eyes, trying to focus his hazy vision on Mihawk and, possibly, recognize his creditor. "It's money, isn't it? Shit, just give me two days, man. I'll give it back with interest."

"I don't care about money."

Instantaneously, panic appears in the tearaway's eyes. Did he just find himself in the same position he's put hundreds of people in to cure his own boredom and need for grandiosity?

"Then what it is?!" he shouts, fear settling in his viscera. Dracule's calmness put together with the sheer hatred emanating from him makes for a deeply unsettling impression.

"You hurt my wife," comes the answer. The fist clenching the man's hair tightens its hold further, threatening to tear off his scalp. "My wife," Mihawk growls.

But before the tearaway can ask for clarification, his head is forced into the drinking trough. Surprised and scared, oxygen is escaping him fast. Soon, his throat and chest begin to clench and throb painfully. Dark spots dance across his vision, foreboding blindness.

Then, Mihawk pulls his head just above the surface. The man desperately gasps for air.

"If you believe in a god," the swordsman begins in a low voice shaking with anger and adrenaline, "I suggest you start praying. Fast."

The tearaway's head is forced underwater again but this time, Mihawk keeps it there until the ruffian's body stops trembling and shaking. After that, Dracule waits for a while longer - just for good measure.

You're woken up by the creaking of doors as they slowly open. Blinking sleep away from your eyes, you look over your shoulder only to experience a sort of deja vu: Mihawk is standing in the doorway. Before you can ask about his strange behaviour, your husband makes his way to you in long, quick strides. He kneels on the floor beside the bed.

Mihawk takes your hand in his. He takes something out of his pocket and places it in your palm. You recognize the red feather earring immediately. And is that... a piece of skin still attached to it? Gently, your husband closes your fist and lifts your hand to place a chaste kiss on your knuckles.

"The rat has paid for its sins," he whispers to you. Judging by the intense look in his eyes, you don't want to know the details of this story.

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sugaryplum · 3 months ago

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𓏲⋆. THEODORE NOTT FICS HALL OF FAME 𓈒 ⭒ ݁ .

so this summer marks a year since i started obsessing over this stupid stupid handsome beautiful amazing of a character and it is actually insane. i always used to have phases for different characters and it changed like every two weeks but for the past year it's been him and him only. embarrassing. but well – i've read a lot of amazing pieces of fiction about him so here i am to give some appreciation! these are my favourites with top notch writing and plot and portrayal of the character and everything else!!! in no particular order

spring breaks loose by @fangisms GOD i love her work!! she also wrote darling socialite which is possibly even more amazing (and i actually requested it hehe and i love it so much)

next we have @cassiopeiasdaughter (this is really just a list of my favourite authors here) with mirrorball (requested by me again, this is also maybe just a list of stuff i requested, i am shameless with this) and this cute little drabble about theo and the reader's cat <3

honestly i could just write everything i said before about everything that's coming next. i looove when @veryberryjelly does these events and here's my favourite one of these!!

this is smut and i feel weird recommending something smutty but its a really really well written thing so you need to read it if you like this type of thing

so i don't normally like to read series but i loooooved kiss with a fist by @theostrophywife!!! (sorry i can't find the og masterlist post in my likes to link it but you'll find it)

@patrophthia has some amaaaazing fics! love is sour grapes and take you to the basics and these plot bunnies and genuinely anything else by her! there's i think this fic set in the summer that i can't remember the name of. and the one based on "bewitched" by laufey! so good! and my favourite way of writing theo's character like ever

laughs in the courtyard is the cutest ever and i think one of the first fics i've read about theo?

these headcanons are straight out of my dreams!! often reread them just to have him more visualised in my head and some parts feel literally straight out of my brain

so i don't read angst almost at all, i like sweet and nice and happy things but moonlight & masks as well as mio, both in kind of the same vibe i just adore! i guess war angst i don't mind. especially when it's so good!

now this is kind of toxic and manipulative theo but i loooove control freak<3 i linked part two but obviously start with the first. both awesome

and last by not least @artytaeh is probably my favourite author here right now!! this masterlist has no misses only hits <3 you gotta read it all right now. again, this portrayal of theo and everything else is just perfect

okay thank youuuuuu for reading and i hope you read everything on this list because it's all fantastic! bye bye kiss kiss goodnight

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott #rambling #theo nott x reader

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alwaysmicado · 5 months ago

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hi i was just wondering if you could write a pregnant joel miller fanfic (where joel is pregnant) thank youuuuuu

two hearts, one bond

3.2k ♡ Joel Miller x f!reader

post-outbreak, established relationship, pregnancy Summary: Joel experiences sympathetic pregnancy. A/N: Sweet fluff with angst sprinkled on top. Thanks so much for your request, Anon! I hope this is to your liking even if Joel’s not physically carrying the baby. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Dividers by the wonderful @cafekitsune.

keep you warm ♡ Joel masterlist

Joel stands in front of the bathroom mirror, his reflection staring back at him. The towel around his hips barely conceals his nakedness as he scrutinizes his own body. He frowns, his fingers grazing over the small swell of his belly.

It’s nothing compared to yours, but to him, it feels like an unwelcome intrusion.

“Hey, sweetheart?” he calls out, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

You glance up from the book you’re reading in the living room, eyebrows raised attentively. “Yeah?”

Joel’s gaze remains fixed on his reflection as he hesitates before finally speaking. “Do I...do I look fat?”

Your brow furrows in surprise. Joel has never been one to fret over his appearance, especially not like this. “Fat? Joel, you’re not fat. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

He pokes his head out of the bathroom, his expression pleading for reassurance. “Are you sure? I feel like I’ve gained some weight lately.”

You set your book aside and waddle your way to the bathroom, your steps careful yet eager. Wrapping your arms around Joel from behind as far as your eight-month bump will allow, you nestle against him with a deep exhale.

You feel the warmth of his skin, the comforting rise and fall of his chest, and the soft hair that trails from his chest to his belly button.

The overwhelming intimacy of the moment floods you with gratitude. You are thankful for the love of your life, for the miracle of growing a child, and for the simple, profound gift of being alive to share this journey.

“Joel, you’re not gaining weight,” you murmur. “And even if you were, that would just mean you’re eating well, which is a good thing. Little one and I need you to be strong and healthy. Besides, I love every part of you, including this little belly of yours.”

He lets out a shaky sigh, leaning back into your embrace. “Thanks, darlin’. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. I just...I feel off. Can’t sleep at night and my stomach’s been givin�� me trouble.”

You press a kiss to his shoulder, trying to ignore the ache in your own body as you hold him close. If you could, you’d absorb all the things that pain him in a heartbeat.

Since starting your journey together, you’ve tried your best to help Joel carry the heavy things that weigh him down, to shield him from the things that dull his shine, to mend his broken heart by loving him unconditionally and wholly.

To show him that there is light in darkness.

You’re convinced he’s your purpose in life. And now that you’re close to meeting the child you two have created, you’re more protective of him than ever before.

You love him. And you need him.

“Hmm, maybe you’re stressed because the baby’s coming soon?” you muse, running a hand through Joel’s hair, softly scratching his scalp. “I am too, believe me. Just existing is exhausting at this point. But hey, we’ve faced clickers, and infected, and raiders together. We’ve clawed our way out of so many hopeless situations that should have killed us, and now look at us. We made it. We’re safe. We can do baby. We can do anything if we stick together, hm?”

You’re saying this to him as much as you’re saying it to yourself. You’re very aware of the little changes in Joel’s behavior, you know he hasn’t been feeling well. And it’s stressing you out.

Joel’s tense shoulders relax under your touch, and he looks at your reflection in the mirror with a mixture of gratitude and adoration.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, darlin’,” he says softly. “And you’re so right. We’ve been through hell and back together. What’s one more challenge, huh?”

You smile, feeling a surge of affection for the man who’s shown you more love than you ever knew existed.

“Exactly. And just think, soon we’ll have a little bundle of joy to add to our adventures.”

Joel turns around and cups your face with his warm palms, pressing a lingering kiss to your soft lips. The sensation sends a delightful shiver down your spine, and feeling his smile warms your heart as it always does.

Yet, in his eyes, you catch a flicker of sadness as he pulls back to get dressed in the bedroom.

Sitting on the couch again, you watch him with growing concern as he grabs his rifle and backpack, puts on his thick winter coat, and promises you and your little one that he’ll be back before sunset.

He heads out, leaving you to your freshly brewed coffee and to your book, but you can’t shake the unease settling in your chest.

“It’s okay, little one,” you groan as your baby’s kicking you, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. “Your dad’s got a lot of responsibilities and that can be tiring and stressful, you know? But you don’t need to worry. Mommy’s looking after him. Just like she’ll always look after you.”

You try to catch your breath, softly stroking your belly in the hopes it’ll calm the baby down. It works, sort of, and after a couple of minutes you feel strong enough to get up and get dressed.

Anxious, you try to fill your day with chores and a few hours in the library, all the while reminding yourself that Joel wouldn’t keep secrets from you, that he’s healthy, that everything’s going to be okay. You repeat these reassurances like a mantra, but as the days pass, Joel’s unease only seems to grow.

He becomes increasingly sensitive to smells, gagging at the slightest whiff of certain foods cooking in the kitchen. Some mornings, he’ll only drink his black coffee, refusing to eat a single bite of the breakfast you’ve lovingly prepared. He assures you it’s not about your cooking, but he can’t fully explain why he’s so turned off by foods he enjoyed just days ago.

You notice his restless nights too.

He isn’t sleeping, and you often find yourself awake, hearing him get up in the middle of the night to take a walk outside. He always tries to be quiet, believing he hasn’t woken you, but you lie there, listening to his footsteps fade into the darkness.

He usually returns after half an hour, slipping back into bed behind you, and attempting to find some semblance of peaceful sleep.

The most striking change, though, is in his mood. His calm, reassuring demeanor has been replaced by irritability and anxiety. Every little sound seems to set him off, and he jumps at the slightest touch.

You try your best to be patient, knowing that he’s going through a tough time, but it’s hard when your own patience is wearing thin.

“Can you please pass me the salt?” you ask one morning, reaching across the table during breakfast.

Joel flinches as if your voice startled him, nearly knocking over his coffee mug in the process. “Sorry,” he mutters, handing you the salt with shaky hands.

You sigh inwardly, trying to keep your frustration in check. “It’s okay. Just...try to relax, alright?”

He nods, but you can tell he’s still on edge. As the morning wears on, his sensitivity only seems to increase. He jumps at the sound of a door closing, flinches when you accidentally brush against him, and seems on the verge of tears at the slightest provocation.

Finally, you reach your breaking point.

“Joel, could you please stop being so jumpy? You’re acting like a nervous wreck, and it’s driving me fucking crazy!”

The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, and you immediately regret them when you see the hurt look on Joel’s face. His eyes well up with tears, and he sniffles, his lower lip trembling.

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry, I’m so–”

You rush to his side, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“Oh, Joel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that,” you look into his wet eyes and pull him even closer to you. “I’m just so worried about you. It scares me and I feel helpless when you don’t feel well.”

He buries his face in your shoulder, his tears soaking into your shirt. “I don’t understand what’s goin’ on with me. It’s like...I can’t control it, you know?”

You stroke his back soothingly, trying to offer whatever comfort you can.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here,” you coo, holding him close. “It’s probably just the stress of everything going on. You’ve been so busy these past few months, helping out with patrols and construction so much. Plus, I’m close to giving birth and, as wonderful as that is, it’s scary as hell. I get it. But Joel? We’ll get through this together, alright?”

He nods against your shoulder, his grip on you tightening. “I know, darlin’. Thank you.”

Later that night, lying in bed together, Joel’s hand drapes protectively over you, feeling the baby’s gentle movements.

For the first time in over two weeks, he falls asleep and stays asleep through the night. The steady rhythm of his breathing eases your frayed nerves, giving you hope that he just needed to release all that pent-up emotion and that crying it all out helped him.

But, despite his mood improving a little over the next three days, his physical state seems to worsen. You try your best to support him through it all, but it’s clear that something is genuinely wrong.

One evening, as you curl up together on the couch, watching the flickering flames of the fireplace, Joel’s stomach churns audibly. He pales and clutches his abdomen, then suddenly bolts upright, rushing to the bathroom. You follow close behind, worry etching deeper lines into your face as you hear him retching, barely making it in time before throwing up his dinner for the third night in a row.

“That’s it,” you declare, determination and concern in your voice, as you rub his back and hand him a damp cloth to wipe his face. “You’re going to the doctor tomorrow.”

Joel protests weakly, his voice strained. “I’ll be fine, darlin’. I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Joel,” you reply firmly, your eyes searching his for understanding. “You’ve been feeling off for weeks now and I can’t stand to see you suffer like this anymore. We need to find out what’s going on. Not only for your sake but also for mine and the baby’s.”

Joel looks at you, his eyes softening at the mention of your child. He nods resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

“Alright. I’ll go.”

As Joel heads out to his doctor’s appointment alone—you couldn’t join him since you’re experiencing horrible back pain—you’re left lying in bed, your mind consumed with worry. Every worst-case scenario plays out in your head, and you can’t shake the feeling of dread gnawing at your insides.

What if something is seriously wrong with Joel? What if he’s sick? What if, no matter what you do, no matter how much you love him, that just isn’t enough? What if…what if you can’t protect him this time?

It’s the same intrusive thoughts you’ve been having since falling in love with him all this time ago, but now that he’s shown actual symptoms of some sort of illness, you’re scared to death.

Your own discomfort from the pregnancy seems magnified as you lie there, feeling helpless and alone. Tears stream down your cheeks as you reach a hand to gently caress your swollen belly, whispering words of reassurance to the tiny life growing inside you.

“It’s okay, little one. Daddy will be back soon. We just have to be strong,” you murmur, though the anxiety in your voice betrays your attempt at calm.

You know your baby can feel your stress, and that knowledge only heightens your anxiety. Your heart races, and you struggle to breathe evenly. The minutes stretch on endlessly, each one an eternity as you wait for Joel to return.

Finally, you hear the front door open, and your heart leaps into your throat as you strain to listen for any sign of his footsteps. You try to judge by his gait and the pace with which he takes off his coat and boots how bad the news is going to be, but you can barely hear anything over the loud thumping of your heartbeat and the rushing of blood in your ears.

Joel finds you sitting up in bed, his expression one you can’t read.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly, crossing the room to sit beside you. His face falls when he sees your tears and how scared you look, and immediately lifts his hands to caress your cheeks.

“Oh, darlin’, I–”

“Please just tell me,” you blurt out, feeling like your heart is going to explode if you have to wait even one second longer. “I can take it, I promise. What did the doctor say?”

“Well,” Joel starts, taking your trembling hands in his, his voice slightly sheepish as he looks into your swollen eyes. “The doctor said that I, uh–he said I have Couvade syndrome.”

Oh no. No, no, no. That doesn’t sound good. Couvade syndrome? You’ve never heard of it.

“What’s that? Is it dangerous? What can we do to—can it be cured?” Panic seeps into your voice as you clutch Joel’s arm.

“Darlin’, calm down,” he says, leading your hands back into the safety of his own. “There is a cure.”

“Okay, what is it? You need to take medication? Have surgery? What is it?”

“There’s no need for medication or surgery,” Joel assures you, softly squeezing your hands. “And, uh,” he clears his throat, “I’ll apparently be perfectly healthy again in about a month, more or less, dependin’ on when our little one decides to meet us.”

A small smile creeps onto Joel’s lips as he speaks, but you furrow your brow in confusion. His hands move to your bump, caressing it gently.

Your mind races, connecting the dots of Joel’s recent symptoms—throwing up, food aversion, sensitivity, complaints about his belly, and sleep troubles.

Then it hits you.

“Are you kidding me?” you whisper in disbelief.

“No, darlin’, I’m not,” Joel chuckles, watching the fear in your eyes morph into a mix of outrage and bewilderment.

“It’s called sympathetic pregnancy. It means my body’s been mimickin’ your pregnancy symptoms. The nausea, the fatigue, even the weight gain. The doc said it’s rare but harmless. I’m not sick, darlin’. I’m just goin’ through this with you.”

You’re still staring at him, mouth agape, slowly shaking your head. “Sympathetic pregnancy? You mean...you’ve been feeling sick because I’m pregnant?”

Joel nods. “Pretty much, yeah.”

Relief washes over you, but the absurdity of the situation also hits you, and you can’t help but laugh through a new set of tears.

“What the hell, Joel? I thought I was going to lose you, and now you’re telling me this was all psychosomatic? I can’t believe it. You were so sick, and I–huh?”

Joel chuckles and pulls you into a tight hug, drawing soothing circles on your aching back. You relax in his arms, and for the first time in weeks, feel like you can breathe freely again.

“When I said I’d be with you forever and stand by you through it all, my body must’ve heard that and decided to make me feel what you’re experiencin’ with this pregnancy.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck. “All this moping around was that?”

“Hey, that mornin’ sickness is no joke, I actually felt like I was dyin’.”

Eyebrows raised, you pull back to look at him with an expression that says, “Seriously? You’re telling me about morning sickness?”

Joel can read your thoughts and he grins, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“This isn’t a competition, darlin’. Who’s to say who’s pregnancy has been harder or who’s been feelin’ worse–”

He doesn’t get any further before you’re pulling him into a hug again, effectively shutting him up.

“I was so scared, Joel,” you whisper, digging your fingers into his back. “I was so scared I’d lose you.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He softly strokes the back of your head. “But you’re not gettin' rid of me that easily. I made a vow to you and our child, and I intend to keep it.”

“I love you, Joel,” you murmur. “My big baby.”

The morning sun filters through the curtains as you shuffle into the kitchen, feeling like you’ve barely slept a wink. Joel is already there, slouched over the table, a look of utter exhaustion on his face.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” you tease, crossing the kitchen to sit on his lap.

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” he mumbles with a tired smile, happily wrapping his arms around you, and capturing your lips in a kiss that leaves you even more breathless than you already were.

“Someone’s feeling better,” you murmur, gently nudging his nose with yours.

“Much better,” he nods, his eyes crinkling with affection. “I still didn’t sleep too much last night, but just havin’ a diagnosis helps a lot. Now we just have to wait for our little one to arrive, and I’ll be good as new.” He kisses the tip of your nose, his gaze filled with adoration.

“How about we cook some bacon and eggs, hm?” you suggest, and Joel’s eyes light up. He’s incredibly hungry.

As you work together in the kitchen, Joel occasionally has to take breaks to sit down, claiming his ‘pregnancy fatigue’ is kicking in and that his ‘feet hurt’. You roll your eyes fondly, knowing he’s milking his this for all it’s worth.

After a filling breakfast, you both settle on the couch, cuddled up together in your favorite little love blanket.

“I’m so happy you’ve been eating better,” you murmur, tracing circles on his arm. “I need you, you know?”

As the baby kicks inside you, you place Joel’s hand on your belly, feeling the life you’ve created together.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to have a child,” he whispers, his voice filled with emotion.

You lean your head against his shoulder, overwhelmed with love for him. “I know, it’s pretty incredible. And hey, if you survive these pregnancy symptoms, I know you’ll be the best dad.”

He chuckles softly, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “I sure hope so. But seriously, darlin’, you’re incredible. I don’t know how you’re handlin’ all of this with such grace.”

You give him a playful nudge. “Well, I have a great partner to help me through it. Even if he does complain about his swollen feet more than I do.”

Joel grins sheepishly, pulling you closer. “I’ll try to tone it down a bit. For you.”

Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts & if you have any ideas for future fics. I love hearing from you!

keep you warm ♡ Joel masterlist ♡ AO3

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x pregnant!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller pregnancy #pregnancy #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou #joel miller fic #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction

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