#admittedly im not on my adhd meds rn

[22degreehalo]

Ahhhhhhhhh when I spend half an hour folding dumplings with my mum and come out so tense I need to close myself in my room until I can start breathing normally again 💖

[adhdandadhdadjacentthings]

Hey, so since this whole blog is primarily to record and let me talk abt my adhd stuff... can i mention how fuckin *hard* it is to tell wtf meds are doing rn?

Like for abt a week when i was first prescribed my original dose, it was okay. Yeah the pandemic was stressful and worrying but still, i could obviously tell that after i took meds i could actually Focus.

A couple days ago we upped my dosage and im supposed to be seeing how it works, and if i like the differences from the last dosage.

I have had at least one breakdown a day since ive been on this dosage. I'm fucking scared and angry and i feel so incredibly helpless and no adhd pill is gonna make that go away. So how tf am i supposed to know if im "happy with this dosage".

And, admittedly, ive also had really happy moments every day. Is that because of my best friend being in my life so much lately? Yeah, honestly. But do the meds play a part? Probably?

Ik that I'd be Worse w out them but there is no way in fuck i can tell which dose i like more rn.

I sure can tell that all cops are bastards and every member of the national guard or military who goes up against these protestors are shit. I sure can tell that this fuckin president isn't even gonna pretend not to be a fascist shitbag anymore. I sure can tell that the future is incredibly uncertain.

But no, i can't tell if my 1.5x dose is doing much more than my last one.

And i also cant say whether im experiencing more side effects. Oh the main ones are no appetite and increased heart rate? Well, hun, if i got no appetite it's honestly more likely its because of the absolute dread im feelin. And panic sure will increase a heart rate.

Meh

Honestly s probably gonna be what i tell my dr. Im sure she'll get it.