#admittedly i really fucked myself over on the desert cat story but i still really love the characters and would like to get to it someday

[miragestar]

Navigation Masterpost!

Hello! This my side blog for my next two webcomics, PeatClan's Run and unnamed murder mystery about cats in the desert I'm working on (formerly known as Evil Eye). If you're looking for my main blog, find me over at @wolfsnis. @wolfsnisart is my art-centered blog.

Currently, only my clangen comic is in production. PeatClan's Run is a clangen-based survival story featuring an apprentice Butterflypaw and a kit Parsleykit escaping the Chernobyl disaster to rebuild their clan. Chaos and drama ensues.

If you want to read, you can select the tag #peatclan moons and see all the public pages!

See reference sheets for the characters in the #reference tag.

#extra art is self-explanatory!

You may also click on any of the characters' tags to see all posts/pages featuring them, and #peatclan for everything!

Questions, concerns, wanting lore? Feel free to ask! I'm happy to talk about these characters whenever.

My second story used to be called evil eye, is now tagged with #desert cats if you wish to see any of it! I'll get to it someday hopefully.

#weevilclan is a much older clangen run I did last year. I didn't keep meticulous recordings of it like I did PeatClan though, and it is no longer active. Just here for archival purposes. I may resurrect the name someday tho.

ANYWAYS welcome, I hope you stay awhile! Its slow going around here but still lots of fun.

[raynebowrayne]

New project I'm toying with. Whacha think, folks?

I'm tagging this with Reylo tags because that's the main focus of my blog and people there read my Ao3 Reylo Fanfic.

Here is an original story I'm working on.

***

He's like a male Molly Ringwald.

That was my first impression of Ben Johnson when he completed his first season on my favorite television show. In his rookie year as a celebrity his character had come on the show as the slightly odd and geeky but still charming and rather attractive in an unusual way that you could spend hours pondering without ever being able to explain the how or why of.

The next year he finished the season by winning the heart of the beautiful Esmeralda Crain, the central "beautiful young focal character" of the ensemble driven primetime drama that I watch with an almost religious fervor.

The show, "Finding Me" is an hour every week from June to September of pure unadulterated drama about a dozen just out of college, young people finding their way in the world. It's shot like a 'reality' show, but it's fully scripted and jam packed with amazingly talented actors and actresses. I can't get enough of it.

By season three I was blogging about it on three different social media websites, spending every second of my free time obsessing over the show. In truth, I spent my unfree time obsessing quietly while I check bags and wave a metal detector wand around people at my local airport.

Season 7 has just wrapped up and somewhere along the way, I fell head over heels for the character Miles Adams. I tuned in every week after season three just to see Miles. The other 10 people on the show were great, but Miles and Esmeralda stole the show in season three… and for me, in my obsessive frenzy, they became the pair I loved the absolute most. They were perfect together.

The actors who played them - Ben Johnson and Emmy Star (no, that's really her birth name, I googled her) were superb. By season 4 they were each making four times more money per episode than anyone else in the cast.

Of course, when they flew to vegas during the season four finale and got married during the airing of Miles and Esmeralda's own vegas elopement the internet exploded with the impact of an atom bomb.

Some people were flat out convinced that it had been a sham, a publicity stunt, a way to make the show more money so that it could afford Season five's pay raises for the entire cast, including doubling Ben and Emmy's already impressive salaries.

I never believed that. No way. Ben and Emmy, or Bemmy as I call them, have waaaay too much chemistry onscreen and off to be faking it. No, the show making more money was a natural consequence of having the most talented young cast ever assembled in one show. Period. End of discussion. Fin. I will not hear another word about it.

Of course, in every fandom you find trolls… With six couples, a lot of cross-relationship sexual tension, and a highly diverse cast season seven Finding Me's social media following is a breeding ground for fandom trolls. We real fans call them "antis." They whine endlessly about the show but for some reason wont just stop watching it. I do not get those people. They annoy me.

So here I am, in my cheap polyester uniform with my shiney little badge and clunky black patton leather steal toed boots, daydreaming about Miles' gorgeous, fiery, brown-eyed smoulder while I wave through a pretty blond that towered over me by a good six inches.

Mile's eyes have the most intense quality about them. He can literally boil freezing water with a single stare. I'm not sure at exactly what point he went from "geeky" to "omfg I totally would trade my soul for just one night with him" but I think it might have been the season two smouldering hot ten second stare down while stalking toward Esmeralda with pure unfiltered, unbridaled lust rippling off of him like heat waves off desert sand. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the moment.

Just the thought of that moment is enough to make me blush as I blink away the image. I glance up at the guy who'd just set off the metal detector as I pass the wand across his chest. I freeze. My brain crashes against my skull and I stand there gaping like a fish out of water as Miles Adams stares back at me in annoyance.

I blink.

No, not Miles Adams.

Ben Johnson.

Ben "omfg" Johnson is scowling at me. In the flesh. At MY airport! In Real Life!

I watched in fascination as the annoyed look melted off his face and alarm flashed ahead of concern that gave way to amusement and finally turned to exasperation.

"Breathe." He rolled his eyes and said, half mockingly - half coaxingly with a slight grin on his lips.

In Dolby Digital his voice caresses you like tattered silk, in real life, it's more like a cat's tongue.

His eyes widen and he half reaches for me. "No, really, you need to breathe."

Oh, god. His voice... is talking to me!

"Shit!" He hissed as his face, that incredibly expressive face of his, swam before my eyes.

I blinked and found myself looking up into his frowning face.

"Dear god, not again." Came an annoyed female voice. "They're never going to stop doing that if you keep catching them."

Ben turned a quick scowl toward someone above my head then looked back and asked me, "Are you alright?"

That's when three things hit me at once.

One, I'm cradled in his arms, across his lap as he squats down in front of the metal detectors.

Two, his eyes are prismatic, a totally different shade, ranging from black to amber-yellow depending on how the light hits them.

Three, I'm making a total ass of myself by continuing to stare at him - dumbstruck and drooling.

Reality set in with the suddenness and force of a high speed mid-air collision.

I apologized profusely as I fought my way through 10 tons of humiliation and panic to get to my feet. My mortification could not have been more complete… until I chanced a glance upward and spotted a trickle of blood oozing down his chin.

I have never wanted to cry so badly in my life.

Without another word I took off at a dead run for the nearest ladies room where I immediately screamed "Fuck!" at the top of my lungs. That didn't help much so I did it a few more times before I began ugly-crying my eyes out.

It took me a good hour to get control of myself enough to clock out amidst pitying glances and some snickering from my fellow security guards. I kept my eyes straight ahead as I walked briskly out to my car.

I'd been at Bluegrass for five years. I'd seen celebrities before. Admittedly, not many… but some! Johnny Depp once came through my line! I was calm, cool and professional. No sweat. Under no circumstances have I ever lost my shit over anything or anyone like I did with Ben Johnson. Not even close.

I called in and talked my supervisor into arranging two weeks worth of my accrued vacation for the immediate future. It was too easy. He had obviously been appraised of my blunder.

I hung up and cried myself to sleep at four o'clock in the afternoon.

The next two weeks were more of the same. Log in to check my blogs, weep as soon as I see a picture of him, log out and cry myself to sleep. Wake up, go pee, see myself in the mirror and burst into tears. Pull a burrito out of the microwave, set it on a paper plate, burst into tears.

About midway through the second week I got rip roaring drunk... at home… alone… with a half gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a half gallon bottle of Smirnoff.

It tasted terrible when it made an encore appearance later on.

As I lay there next to the toilet, in the fetal position, my hair wet from both sweat and vomit, I pondered my life and it's recent trials and tribulations.

The most comforting thought came to me as the room spun like a drunken tilt-a-whirl. It doesn't actually matter what happened when Ben Johnson unexpectedly jumped out of my fantacy and into my reality… I'd never see him again.

Another highly comforting thought was that my co-workers will surely have moved back to their favorite gossip topic, Shirleen Dabney's love life, and forgotten all about me fainting and then splitting the lip of my favorite celebrity by now. Surely. It's not like they're blogging about it. Shirleen's love life is way more interesting than lil ole me.

Shirleen is a tall, leggy, redhead with surgically enhanced ta tas and an ass like a fetishist porn star. She's been picked up and dropped off to work by twelve different men in the three months she's been at Bluegrass. Twelve! Different! Men! That works out to one a week. The security room is abuzz with gossip about her every second that she's not in it… and dead silent when she is.

With two more Shir-boys to gossip about, no doubt my little incedent with a t.v. star is long forgotten.

[theliterarywolf]

Open up your eyes..!

See the world from where I stand!

Be among the mighty

Encaged at my command..!

I actively stopped watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic at the end of the third season. I felt that the climax of granting 'Alicorn/Princess status' to a character who carelessly made a mistake and harmed all of her friends but managed to haphazardly fix it through a single song was more than a little off-putting and the introduction of the Equestria Girls IP was another splinter in my finger.

I've watched a few episodes of latter seasons here and there, but I never gained back the original passion I had for the show. However, I did always make the promise to myself that if there was an actual theatrical release based on Friendship is Magic (not any vapid EqG nonsense, actual Friendship is Magic ponies) that I would go see it.

Earlier this year, Hasbro announced that we would be getting just that and, even though at first I was skeptical, I eventually did see something that made me remember my promise.

This pony design right here.

So, now that the Mane Six have their big-screen debut in this film, is it an dynamic finish? Or will it leave you hating pastel colors and butt-tattoos like the more cynical internet audience has been saying? Let's read on. There will also be spoilers in this write-up, so if you want to go into the movie raw or are in a country that won't be getting the film until later, I would suggest holding off.

First and foremost, whoever decided to start the movie off with that Hana Zuki: Full of Treasures short needs to be punched in the God damn throat. Mein Gott, that was annoying. And I was excited for that show, too, but if the quality of the short (aside from admittedly good animation) is anything to go by, I'm definitely reconsidering.

Onward to the main movie, after a twilight sparkle shimmers the movie title into existence, we get a squad of pegasi flying through the air above Canterlot (CANTERLOT, not PONYVILLE like a lot of reviews I've seen say) to a rendition of We Got the Beat rewritten for an equine-set.

Which is odd, considering the fate of the last pop song to be rewritten for Ponies.

Anyway, after a few ponies talk up the calm nature and organization skills of their residing Princess of Friendship, the camera pans over to Twilight Sparkle freaking about organizing a Festival. She seeks out assistance from the four other reigning Princesses of Equestria: Celestia of the Sun, Luna of the Moon, and Cadence of...

The Aurora Borealis?

Yes, um, call me still confused because, I know that Cadence resides in the Crystal Empire which is in the north, but in her introductory special (A Canterlot Wedding), she was pretty much built up as the Princess of Love: a good counterbalance to Twilight being Princess of Friendship (since both are differing types of Love, according to the Grecian scale).

That also leads into one of the few qualms I had with the film. Twilight goes into a mathematic spiel about how she wants the Princesses who control the ELEMENTS OF NATURE to readjust the skies to get better lighting... for a concert.

To do a brief aside, one of the compliments I would often see given to the first Equestria Girls movie was that 'oh, it gave us a refresh and Twilight had to start from scratch'. Twilight in that movie was asinine.

MLP: The Movie does a character refresh in a much better, believable way. We see Twilight nervous and going back to old behaviors, because she is taking on new pressures that stand with her royal status: not just because she's going to high school.

So after that plan goes bust, she goes to check on her friends who insist that everything will be fine...

And then shit hits the fan with the arrival of our antagonists du jour: the forces of the Storm King.

And, I'm just going to say it now: you could have taken out the actual Storm King entirely, just left it that Tempest controlled this dark army and all of its influences, and you would not have had a worse movie for it.

Aside from some Ham, the Storm King really adds nothing to the film other than the 'this is the villain you can actually hate, Tempest and the other Storm Forces are just traumatized and misunderstood'.

Aside from the little Honey Badger shit played by Michael Pena. He's... He's Olaf from Frozen, he's literally just Olaf from Frozen without a song.

So Tempest, our dark pony with a broken horn, stakes her claim on Canterlot by encasing Celestia, Luna, and Cadence in stone (a series staple at this point, I guess; you could have just put them into eternal slumber or something) while Twilight and the Mane Six are able to escape thanks to the sacrifice of a certain muffin-loving pegasus.

They then figure that they have to go South to find the Queen of the Hippos (misunderstandings are great...) and after an admittedly amusing desert sequence (heatstroke!Rarity is best Rarity), they end up in a town of frankly unflattering fish and lizard people who nearly rob and sell them before a smooth-talking cat comes up and saves them...

Only to try and sell them himself to absolve a debt.

And after Rarity fixed his sleeves too, the asshole!

So Tempest tracks them down and they have to flee onto an airship because, remember, Equestria is a Steampunk society in all but name. They are soon found by the avian employees of the airship who are former pirates who have had their freedom clipped by the Storm King. After a rousing song number from Rainbow Dash (I say rousing but,.. we'll get to the songs later) the avians regain their pirate-blood and aim to celebrate...

UNTIL RAINBOW RUINS EVERYTHING WITH A GOD-DAMNED SONIC RAINBOOM.

I'm a bit harsh here, and I know the movie needed more conflict (things can't be too easy) but you have poor Twilight pleading 'No! NO RAINBOOM!' and Rainbow does it anyway.

So Tempest, of course, finds them (still with MC Scatcat in tow because, why not?) and even though Twilight manages to get the Mane Six out of the ship, Tempest destroys the ship and leaves everyone on it, and MC Scatcat (I know he has a name, it doesn't matter) for dead.

After climbing up a mountain that causes Rarity to have a breakdown, they make their way to the kingdom that they needed to find just to find it empty. However, after more hijinks, they find their way underwater to find the

MOTHERFUCKING SEAPONIES, AT LAST!!

Which is weird, because they were supposed to be looking for Hippogryphs: hybrids made from the love between horses and gryphins.

They... don't say that in the movie, that's the actual Grecian origin story of Hippogryphs.

Well, heh heh heh... Heh heh heh. HEH HEH HEH!!

Little bit of rant-time here: I have been WAITING for MOTHERFUCKING SEAPONIES to show up in the G4 setting for YEARS but, aside from a single picture in a coloring book somewhere, I never got it. So, I went into this movie thinking: MOTHERFUCKING SEAPONIES, YAASS!

But, no! It turns out that the MOTHERFUCKING SEAPONIES are actually the Hippogryphs in disguise a la Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker.

MEGAN! YOU TEASE!!

The Hippogryph designs are nice though, I'll give them that.

But, walking back a bit, this is the part of the movie where Twilight Sparkle goes off the deep-end into 'Bitch, what are you doing – STOP!' territory.

At this point, Twilight is understandably desperate to find a way to save Equestria. This is fine. But the Queen of the Hippogryphs (who sounds way too much like Whoopi Goldberg, even though I know who actually voices her) doesn't want to risk the Storm King getting access to the magic she's been hiding all of these decades. This is fine.

AND THEN TWILIGHT SPARKLE RUINS EVERYTHING! WHICH IS NOT FINE!!

She tricks the other Mane Six into cheering up the Princess of the Hippogryphs while she, the Princess of GOD-DAMN FRIENDSHIP, tries to steal the source of magic keeping the Hippogryphs ALIVE.

And, yeah, you could write it off as just: 'Oh, it's the powerful magic that the Queen wants to protect from the Storm King'. But, no! If you think about it, this magic is the only thing keeping the Hippogryphs alive down there because they have to go up for food! They need magic! They have to transform again to live underwater after hunting! They need magic!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE WAS ABOUT TO KILL THESE FUCKERS!

So, it's no wonder that once they're kicked out of the Queen's stronghold, Twilight's friends tear her a new one.

AND THEN TWILIGHT SPARKLE RUINS EVERYTHING! AGAIN! BY BLOWING UP AT PINKIE IN A SCENE THAT COULD HAVE ONLY BEEN MADE WORSE IF SHE HAD YELLED AT FLUTTERSHY!

So they split up and Twilight has her own breakdown which results in Tempest capturing her and hauling ass back to Equestria.

While on the trip back, Twilight tries to pull the 'why are you doing this to me? You're a girl/a pony/my race, just like me' card. To which Tempest responds with what is, essentially, the only 100% good song in the movie. SIA's Rainbow is fine, but Open Up Your Eyes is where most of the effort went to: just like This Day Aria in A Canterlot Wedding.

Actually, let me take this moment to talk about the songs.

They're... eh. Aside from the Off to See the World, Rainbow, and Open Your Eyes, I think Ingram has hit his plateau with this franchise.

Seriously, though, I need covers of Open Up Your Eyes stat.

Anyway, Tempest brings Twilight to the Storm King who proceeds to siphon away the magic of the four Princesses and proceeds to wreck shit up.

But, just when things seem their worst, the rest of the Mane Six, the Pirates, MC Scatcat, and the Hippogryph Princess come to fight. The Storm King whips up a storm to stop them and Tempest pleads with him to uphold his end of the bargain: her services in exchange for the restoration of her horn.

In a twist that I predicted and everyone could see coming, the Storm King basically says 'Fuck that, Fuck you, me have staff now!'

The storm soon spins out of control and the Storm King loses the staff. Both he and Twilight go into the storm to get it but Twilight is the one who comes out victorious. After a tearful reunion amongst the Mane Six, the Storm King attempts to turn them all into stone but Tempest sacrifices herself and takes the hit while transferring some of the curse into the Storm King. They save statue!Tempest but let the Storm King fall and shatter upon the ground because, quite frankly, fuck male villains in the MLP universe. Unless your name is 'Discord', your ass is apparently grass.

Everything is restored to normal and SIA finally gets to perform. Tempest reflects back upon her life and proceeds to try and turn over a new leaf.

The End. At least, I think so. I'm not sure if there was a post-credits scene because I only stayed through half of the credits.

Now, the question remains: is the movie good?

Quite frankly, for all of my jokes and screaming? Yes. Quite so! Again, the majority of the songs weren't breath-taking aside from the ones I mentioned, but the animation is amazing. I really enjoyed the character designs for all of the new additions, aside from that Honey-Badger piece of shit.

The cons, though: The Storm King really could have been taken out with no consequence. Hell, it would have made Tempest's eventual eye-opening moment (ha) stronger. The other songs were just filler. FUCK THAT HANA ZUKI SHORT IN THE BEGINNING, MY GOD. And the other Princesses don't get much clarification as to why they're important in the beginning. I mean, I know but that's because I watched the show. But the uninitiated aren't going to because the movie just says 'Sun Princess, Moon Princess, Aurora Princess; done. Oh, and this one represents Friendship.' They could have at least started the movie off with a subtle introduction of each Princess in the form of: Luna flying in from checking on the dreams of every one while setting the moon, then have Celestia raise the sun, and then have Cadence arrive via a train that holds the colors of the Aurora Borealis.

Hell, that last one could have even been a toy, Hasbro!

Though... That brings one last thing I want to talk about. What the two main antagonists represent. Quite frankly, I'm impressed that Hasbro okayed a film where they themselves are the main villain. Think about it: the Storm King constantly talks about trademarking this, and selling that, and he has a pessimistic view of anything outside of the marketing standpoint of his endeavors. Hell, he even calls the state of Canterlot 'too cute' when he shows up. Probably because he wants to sell crappier versions to the masses and he doesn't want anyone complaining 'this isn't accurate to what's on the screen'!

And then Tempest herself. She represents Adult Cynicism at first. A lot of us in the older set do get to that point where we are just done with people: done with the drama, done with the betrayal, done with the abuse. And there are often those people who come around saying 'everyone needs friends~ Come on, your life will be better with friends~ Only losers don't hang out with friends~' When it isn't that freaking black and white.

Some people are introverted. Some people have been that brutally abused or betrayed by friends that they don't want anyone near them. Or, hell, some people know that they themselves don't do good with friends so they cut themselves off. In that vein, Adult Cynicism isn't the worst thing. Tempest represents the extreme of it, though: the 'the world was cruel to me now fuck everyone else!'

I like how the movie ended with Tempest doing a small amount of socializing but it wasn't an instant 'I guess I have to start going to Twilight Sparkle's Church of Friendship' like Sunset Shimmer or Starlight Glimmer. It was nice and it was subdued. Like an adult's approach to friendship and socializing.

At the end of the day, I give My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) an 8/10. If you can’t see it now due to release schedules or money, it isn’t the end of the world but it is a good watch. 

And all of the ‘critical reviews’ going on about it being ‘THE WORST FILM EVER’ are being UNGODLY Extra.