#adler/bell

[russadler]

A Little Death - A Note From The Author

For those on this website back when Cold War came out in 2020, you may have read a fic I wrote around that time titled ‘A Little Death’. It was pretty successful (at least by my standards as a first time author) and likely may even be the reason many of you are following me in the first place.

In 2021 I made the extremely difficult decision to delete it, with the intention of re-writing it as I had to come to the conclusion that the portrayal of the Adler/Bell relationship in this particular story was problematic for reasons I will expand on below the cut (for those curious)

I’ve had many people in the years since message me to ask what happened, and if I planned on re-writing it as I announced my intentions to. I’m incredibly touched that people have held my writing in such high regard, even after all these years ❤️

With Black Ops 6 coming in a few months, the topic has come to the forefront of my mind (and the minds of others) again. After an extremely difficult (and long) period of consideration, I am officially confirming that I will not be rewriting ‘A Little Death’ and consider it permanently shelved.

This is probably a surprise to absolutely no one since I’ve not really mentioned it since, but I have had several people still interested in what was going on. I still want to give thanks to everyone who has supported my writing, I’ve been wanting to start once again but felt like I couldn’t with the weight of this fic on my shoulders. I think finally closing this chapter will allow me to move on and evolve as a writer.

Please read the TW before continuing as I will be touching on some sensitive subjects in regards to Adler/Bell’s relationship dynamics. This is kind of long but honestly it’s a complicated subject, but I didn’t want to move forward without addressing some of the issues in detail.

TW: discussions of consent, sexual assault, manipulation, abuse

Why did I delete it in the first place?

‘A Little Death’ started off as a three part smut fic that grew into something more in part due to the positive reception I had received, but it was also my first ever piece of writing. It lit something in me, and it was no longer about just being “horny for Adler” and it involved into a bit of a character study.

I actually made a post years ago touching on this, but the jist of why I deleted the story was that someone who was close to me at the time I was quite deep into writing it pointed out that a brainwashed Bell, in an altered mental state, could not actually give consent to any sort of sexual relationship with Adler (who also facilitated their torture) I know this might seem to be fairly obvious to many, but honestly at the time I hadn’t even thought of it that way. I felt incredibly stupid someone had to tell me for me to even realize.

Now, I don’t intend this post to be one about total condemnation of the Adler/Bell ship. I mean we are talking about a game that revolves around some very dark subject matter like torture, murder, brainwashing etc. A lot of people have OC! Bells that they ship with Adler, and I still read fic of the ship and have my own OC. The ship is problematic for obvious reasons, but I began to realize that as an author I had a duty to portray dark subject matter with a certain level of responsibility, respect and with appropriate content warnings.

I was doing none of those things. I was writing a fic that portrayed a brainwashed Bell in a sexual relationship with Adler that begins to evolve into this emotional “affair” I had written something like 10 chapters, but I couldn’t continue with the knowledge that I had essentially been marketing sexual assault as smut without even really realizing the implication. I mean it wasn’t all smut, it did taper off into an actual story, but the damage had been done.

Wouldn’t that mean all Adler/Bell fic is problematic then?

I mean yes is probably the right answer, but my own feelings about the relationship in summary, is that a ‘romantic’ relationship with Bell utilized as a manipulation tactic by Adler would not be out of character for him, I mean it literally does happen in the game in a more platonic form. Dark? yes, very much so, but not totally out of the realm of the game’s themes.

Even then, we have to keep in mind that if we are going to write stories that have darker themes that could also contain potentially triggering subject matter, we have to approach these topics with respect and responsibility. Writing a scene or relationship that portrays sexual assault as romantic or sexy is not okay. (which was basically what I was doing, which was very bad) Appropriate content/trigger warnings should be used as well.

I think the Bell/Adler gold standard is fic where Bell and Adler meet each other long after the events of the game. Still a pair of messed of people with a messed up dynamic 100%, but Bell is no longer brainwashed and has developed into their own person who can make their own informed decisions. (My all time favourite fic is a Bell/Adler fic that follows this sort of plotline)

I wanted to try and salvage ‘A Little Death’ by re-writing it, but I just…couldn’t. I would have to re-write from the ground up, and honestly the central conflict was Adler “falling in love” and the guilt that subsequently followed because he knew the situation was fucked up and that he was in it for his own selfish reasons.

I have considered re-publishing in mostly the same form but with the sexual content removed and more as a dark fic focused on the messed up relationship Adler pursues with Bell because he wants ‘results’ that bad, but I wasn’t sure if that was any better???

Anyways, that’s why I deleted that fic in particular and not any other. It was deeply problematic and for that I apologize.

If there’s any other questions, please feel free to inbox or DM me.

Thanks ❤️

[gainingtexan]

Neeeeeeeed, some belly rubs please

[foundynnel]

Happy release day-versary Red Dead Redemption 2 ❤️

[drizzledrawings]

Bird outlaws

[babyaiker]

I love my horsey’s and my horsey’s love me

I drew as many important red dead redemption 2 horses as I could, but it’s all in my silly, rinky-dink style. I wanna make these into charms/stickers so bad they’d be perfect

And so everyone knows who’s who:

Baylock - Micah’s

Brown Jack - Bill’s

Taima - Charles’

The Count - Dutch’s

Silver Dollar - Hosea’s

Ennis - Sean’s

Boaz - Javier’s

Branwen - Kieran’s

Maggie - Lenny’s

Bob - Sadie’s

Nell II - Uncle’a

Gwydion - Trelawny’s

Old Belle - Karen’s

Old Boy - John’s

Rachel - John’s (Epilogue)

Hera - Sadie’s (Epilogue)

Nell IV - Uncle’s (Epilogue)

Falmouth - Charles’ (Epilogue)

Buell - Hamish/The Veteran

O’Driscoll Horse - First horse you get in chapter 1

[meimelmoo]

💥🔔

[birthofvcnus]

rdr2 characters + iconic tweets: part four

part one / part two / part three

[civettictis]

crank time

[ratking369]

Bell oh Bell

[septic-salad]

Eyes Without A Face

[hihomeghere]

Arthur Morgan text posts <3

[lorvdz]

I KNOW THIS ISNT DONE BUT ITS TOO GOOD NOT TO POST IT ON HERE!!! :3

[mareig3]

I've made some rdr2 stickers for my future conventions. It's something I've been postponing for a while hehe but they're finally here!

I'll be attending Japan Weekend Madrid in September and MCM London in October, but in case you miss those events you can also buy them in my store <3

[roundworm1111]

[werewolfarthurmorganenjoyer]

I love how Sadie, Charles and John just defeated Micah with like the power of friendship or something

[meimelmoo]

Yes I have Samsung.. 😭💔

Enough is enough..