#adhd is my prison
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ADHD is my prison, part 01
I was on YouTube, got bored and opened another tab... I opened YouTube again... I didn't even close the first tab, which also had YouTube... Dear god, save me before my goldfish-memory-of-a-brain goes into another loop and spiral into infinite YouTube tabs
Edit: I THINK I KNOW WHY!
both YouTube and Pinterest (my two most used speedials) are right next to eachother, and it doesn't help that both icons are red.
#actually adhd#adhd problems#adhd brain#adhd things#neurodivergent#i might be a little dramatic#but it actually happened twice#this is the worst version of groundhog day#adhd is my prison
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#dan heng x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#my polls#help I have ADHD I can’t make these decisions#And yes the SP!Reader is still in prison while DH is getting his found family :))))#The dentist doesn’t know how this happened and doesn’t dare question it (they also really like his mouth 😏)#There is also the option of Dentist that Committed Crimes!Reader x Dan Heng (Not srs)#Dan heng just is whipped for people who (hopefully) know what they are doing regardless of what it is.#Please he needs a partner with a brain cell so that he can be a brainless **** and ****** ********#DH: “Free them they did nothing wrong :(“#Random Offical: “They literally killed 2 preceptors”#DH who inherited DF’s habits of 1) being nerd and 2) being attracted to people who could throw him on his ass in a verbal and actual spar#He prepares a debate for the laws he knows all the loopholes to (thank you past reincarnations)#But if all else fail the Express would break them out#^ Blade is being benched for the sake of the narrative. His version of ‘being able to beat his ass’ just turns DH off 😔😔
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Pros and cons of having a candle lit when you have ADHD (from my experience):
Pros:
Pretty :D
Smells nice :)
I will stare at the flame for hours and be entertained by the way it fwfhfhfhwfhw
You have the freedom to light as many as you want!
Warm lighting 😩
I feel like a cool witch/pre lightbulb scholar
Cons:
Intrusive urge to eat the flame
Intrusive urge to pour the wax in someone's drink
Intrusive urge to put my hand in the wax
Intrusive urge to spit toothpaste into the wax
Intrusive urge to drink the wax
Intrusive urge to grab the flame
#screw having intrusive thoughts thatll get you into prison#my intrusive thoughts would put me in the ER#intrusive thoughts#urges#adhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurospicy#nd culture#adhd culture#candles#tw: intrusive thoughts
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he got them trex hands
#i do it too#its the adhd#markiplier#a heist with markiplier#heist mark#prison mark#my screenshots#ahwm
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listen. one thing about me, i love a loser-boy. i'm always gonna give bakugou some loser-boy tendencies. idk what to tell you. i haven't taken my medication yet.
#i just chugged a huge cup of coffee and my adhd is unhindered#i am as free as i have ever been#i feel like i'm going back to prison i gotta get all my thoughts before i'm stuck with them#theme: loser-boy bakugou#KIDDING LOL#sorry about this#!!!!#✿ shut up willow
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they should give me a special badge to wear at work so that people know i am allowed to tear important documents to shreds with my teeth and destroy office equipment with my bare hands
#you cannot put me in a box room with no windows from nine til six and expect me to not run up the walls#release me from my prison i cannot be caged#i NEED to get back on adhd meds lest i end up eating glass
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sometimes a WIP is one document and sometimes it's this:
#personal#writing#free me from my adhd prison#im doing edits and cohesion checks today#no its not finished yes im procrastinating
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My mom accidentally became the funniest person on this earth by wishing me and my sister a happy pride month very shortly after telling us our dad was arrested for second degree terroristic threatening
#personal#as much as i have no love for him i am still a prison abolitionist#but it is kinda funny#*your abusive dad was arrested for a felony he commit while being abusive. happy pride month!"#to my mom's defense for the sudden topic shift i mentioned being queer and she has adhd
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I know I haven’t posted any original fic in ages, I’ve been a little burnt out from uni and placement and also all the scenes I’ve been wanting to write either need research (historical fiction) or require too many emotions (everyone is traumatised) but please do bear with me there will be content… eventually… I hope
#though going into my third year as a nursing student probably not soon sorry#i have so many thoughts in my head Al the time#but yeah no I legit just need to do research about planes and also Soviet prisons which is fun because autism but hard because adhd#i also want to write about my characters having a bad time for personal reasons but then I start having a bad time for personal reasons#but I swear I am not abandoning my works#maybe I will even branch out into some spicy content Hm#just some low stakes violent smut wouldn’t that be nice#okay well done if you made it through my sleepy rag ramble#s talks
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ADHD is my prison, part 02
I was reading a manga, liked the lineart so much, searched for brushes on CSP so that when I make my manga my lineart would look more traditional, found a really cool artist and watched their videos for two hours straight, went to close some tabs... and there was the manga that I was only a few pages into.
#adhd#adhd things#adhd problems#adhd brain#neurodivergent#this is why i can never get things done#found cool brushes tho#adhd is my prison
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#birth is a curse and existence is a prison#i am so tired of living with misophonia#hearing snoring should not fill me with primal rage and make me wanna slam my head into the wall#why am i so cursed#misophonia. anxiety. depression. ocd.#possibly other things#irl bestie said she thinks i’m autistic and ngl i wouldn’t be surprised#have often wondered about adhd too#to be deleted#personal#i hate it here 🩷
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Y'all ever experience like 5 different conflicting emotions at once? What the hell is that about?
#standing and vibrating because my brain is being pulled apart like laffy taffy#if i could split myself so that only one of me feels so much that'd be great#alas i exist in a singular mortal prison that is constantly attacked by *thoughts*#it's called adhd i think
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why is keeping myself fed during exam szn an extreme sport
#rhetorical question I know it’s adhd lol#I also go so hard abt my hyperfixations once the end of the term comes around it’s soooo fksjgkdjdj#my mind is a funhouse prison
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*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me
#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently#like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup#...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work#im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for#why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it#why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough#and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety#but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull#im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years#and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭#like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives#so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now#bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :(#im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted#lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess#rambling
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I have to draw that one animatic of the yw and Fynch. I have to write about Immaru and Sundog spatting. I have to get a job. I have to write forbidden spicy sensual lore of Sao and that wolf captain falling in love during the dark ages. I still have to eat that big peach in the fridge. I h
#people following this blog AND my personal ‘what the fuck do you mean ‘still’ you said you were doing that YESTERDAY’#adhd is a curse AND a prison
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