#added a chicken stock cube for the first time and absolutely blew my own socks off

[genderdotcom]

4, 5, 12, 21 for japhet :)

4. What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

I think Japhet would say their greatest flaw is not being strong-willed enough, just going along with what others tell them to do- even though that isn't the case to the level that they think it is.

On one hand, they do bow to Sceleritas' instruction enough to fully intend to kill Isobel when they meet her- but on the other hand they realise it would mean the death of all of Last Light and manage to stay their hand. And yet they beat themself up for even wanting to do it.

Also, with Minsc- Jaheira dies at Moonrise, so they're forced to kill him. At which point they feel Bhaal approving of them for doing so, and they want to save him, and they don't want to do anything Bhaal wants them to do, but they can't find another way out. The Emperor wants them to kill him. Their father wants them to kill him. There's nothing they can do, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

5. What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

ok so early in the game i think they have moments of derision looking at books about other gods and such, like "ugh that's such a stupid doctrine. you know in MY religion we.... uh." like they have the vague sense that they were religious in SOME way. as the game goes on, i think they get a sense that they're somehow beyond the reach of the gods. they think that if they prayed to any, there wouldn't be an answer. they aren't a person, they aren't under the gods' dominion- their fate has already been written for them. they're just a pawn in some awful game, trying to break out of it.

12. How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn?

It's worse than what they expected. it's confirmation of what they feared- that they're somehow inherently evil. they'd thought they were cursed in some way, or had some sort of other consciousness foisted upon them- not that the urge was them.

also they totally missed all the signs in moonrise that they had already been there. the closest they got is talking to the Absolute- but they came away from that thinking it was something connected to their patron (great old one). so that very much blindsides them as well

21. What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

OKAAAY so im using this as an excuse to plug my japhet playlist :3 but if i were to pick 3 songs:

Needed a Change of Pace - Jhariah

Oh, how could you love me so Oh, with all I've done and the things you know My dearest You better never forgive me Cause if you Forget what I've done I'll do it again

In The Blood - Hades OST

Run all you like From the place you belong It's always there It's in the air Your dearest kin Below the skin It's in the blood

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms

I got boulders on my shoulders Collar bones begin to crack There is very little left of me and it's never coming back There are certain things you ask of me And there are certain things I'll lack The beginning, we were winning But now I'm just making up facts