#adar x maia!reader

[elronds-meleth-nin]

Never Too Late - Part One: The Awakening

This is something entirely different from the things I've written before. I don't know what made me want to write this beyond hearing one of Adar's lines from S2E8. For those who stick around for this ride, thank you in advance. I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea, but here we go nonetheless! Things will begin (I hope) to make more sense in the second chapter.

Disclaimer: I know this is not how the Maiar or the Valar or any of canon works. I do not care. This writer is playing in a sandbox.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Adar (RoP) x Maia!Reader

[A/N: There will be smut in future chapters, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: An exploration of Adar's origins, discussions of the first Elves, Elf x Maia romance, he falls first, feelings of unworthiness, fear, Morgoth's manipulation (discussed further in later chapters), brief mentions of pain, regret.

~*~

The whisper of the wind in the trees was hypnotic to the Elf with no name. He was among the first to wake. He'd tasted the sunlight as it spilled across his lips in gentle caresses for the first time. Warmth had trickled into his limbs, and soon he'd found himself wandering happily, joyfully through a meadow full of flowers.

For a time he continued in that manner, exploring the world around him, lying in the sun on a riverbank, tasting the sweetness of berries as they hung ripe in the sunlight. Occasionally he would encounter others who looked like him. Other Elves who did not yet have names. Though they did not know it, they would earn them in time.

A small group formed together, giving each other names and forming a small community in the newly-made world. In time, he found that he enjoyed crafting words into set structures, playing with them as one of the other Elves toyed with carving wood, and as another painted pictures.

As he tinkered, he found that the name given to him was not right. It did not fit him correctly. The meaning was not how he saw himself, but he did not argue it, choosing instead to string more words together. They could know him however they wished, but that name was not how he knew himself. The land, the light, and the beauty of the world inspired him to create stories and poems. After a time, however, he found that the flow of his words had slowed in favor of simply experiencing that which he found so lovely.

So, when the thought struck him to walk along the riverbank he favored so much and listen to the birds singing in the trees, he did not hesitate to strike out. Familiar sights and scents surrounded him, wrapping him in a veil of contentment.

Then a different sound met his ears: the gentle whisper of fabric amongst the breeze. The Elf's green eyes opened curiously, and he looked around him for what could have made such a noise. His own clothing - brown leggings and an off-white tunic - were too silent to have done so.

That was when he caught a glimpse of her for the first time. She seemed to glow of her own accord, despite the brightness of the sunlight streaming down upon them. A dress that seemed to glimmer in the light adorned her, translucent and bright. But it was her eyes that drew him to her. They met his for barely a moment, but in that glance, the Elf felt as though she called to his fëa.

She gave him a small smile, and flitted back into the trees as quickly as she'd appeared. So amazed was he by the appearance of such an ethereal creature that he could do no more than follow mutely in her path.

But, he did not find her that day, nor the next. For nearly a fortnight, all he had to remember her by were the dozen-or-so poems that had poured forth from his mind the night after spotting her. He read them aloud to himself by the riverbank amongst the swaying sage blossoms as he tried to perfect them. She - whoever she was - had captivated him and deserved no less than the most perfect tribute.

The way she'd smiled at him made him long for more. To see her laugh, to watch a sunset with her, to feel the rain dampening his skin as he held her in his arms. Undoubtedly, this was something important. He'd seen other Elves feel this way about each other, but never about one who was so clearly Other. Granted, their existence was young, but without a precedent, the Elf wondered what he was to do about these feelings.

Midway through the revision of one the poems he'd written for her, he paused his reading and scratched out a line in favor of a correction. He was so lost in his work that he did not register the sound of approaching footsteps until someone knelt in the grass beside him. The Elf looked up and–

Paralyzed by the warmth in her gaze, he was amazed to find the very woman he'd been writing about was less than a hand's breadth from him. The wind swirled around them, blowing a few strands of his dark hair into his face. Before he could fix it, however, she reached up and brushed it carefully behind one of his pointed ears. Her touch lingered for a beat longer than it should have, and the Elf felt his heart beating wildly in his chest.

Her skin was softer even than that of his own people! He could write for years about the simple sensation of being so close to her.

"Such beautifully-crafted words." Her praise was more nourishing than even the most filling meal.

"For you, my lady," he admitted in barely a whisper. "All for you. No greater beauty have I seen in all my days as a part of this world."

His voice was so quiet that he was afraid the breeze might spirit it away before it reached her ears, but she heard him. Of course she heard him. A warm smile stretched her lips, and a silvery laugh spilled from her throat.

"Oh? And what have I done, kind wordsmith, to earn such a gift?"

'Existing' was the simple answer, but he could not say that aloud. It was too honest, too forward. She would surely be offended by such a low creature's desires. He shook his head quietly.

"Wonders deserve to be praised, híril vuin," he murmured dropping his gaze to his paper.

"Then, should you not be writing about yourself?" He question drew an incredulous laugh from him, but she was entirely serious. "The light of the Valar lives within your people."

He shook his head.

"You are light itself," he asserted. "I could hope for no greater a muse than you."

They spoke for many hours that day and for many days after. Those days added up, and the pair continued to meet beside the river or amongst the trees, speaking of everything and nothing, wandering where they wished.

He did not mention having seen her to the others, but he did overhear a few of them, one night. They were speaking around a fire, taking turns speaking about the Valar and the Maiar. He paid no mind until one of them mentioned something familiar.

"One of the Maiar hides within the woods near the river," the blond Elf said. "She has been glimpsed, but none of spoken to her. I witnessed her eyes glowing from deep in the trees, but before I could approach, she disappeared."

"Why would one of the Maiar hide in the forest, much less take a physical form?" One of the others with brown hair asked.

"Who can tell? It is not our place to know the minds of the Valar or the Maiar," the blond said decisively, and at that, the group began dispersing for the night. Only the blond Elf and remained when the Elf with no name approached him.

"What does she look like, the Maia in the forest?" He asked, knowing in the racing of his pulse that it was her to whom he'd spoken and about her whom he'd been writing. It was as obvious as the leaves on the trees and the sun in the sky.

"None can see any details beneath her glow, but that is not unusual. Those who have caught sight of the Maiar say that they only show themselves to those whom they wish. They can hide their visages, only taking physical forms when they choose to do so."

When he retired to bed that night, he clung desperately to the secret of their conversations together. She had chosen to reveal herself to him and only him. Even if he did not know why, he was honored, and he hoped he could one day prove himself worthy of her trust.

As the days became months, then years, there was a particular bend in the river where he would meet his lady. Wandering for hours, sometimes days, he became as close with her two people could without delving openly into the realm of romance, though, he did harbor those feelings for her. His heart raced whenever she was near, and he knew that should he ever have a family, he would want it to be with her.

But, he was not worthy. He never would be. No matter how much he may want a daughter with his hair and her eyes, or a son who favored his mother's light, an Elf could never be worthy of one a Maia's love.

As he returned one night, musing over his situation and feeling his heart twist itself into knots over the futility of his love, he found the others in an uproar.

"What has happened?" He called as he neared the group of terrified Elves.

"Three of our number rode out earlier. They were meant to return at sundown, but it is near midnight and there is no sign of them," one of the painters said, twisting the sleeve of his robe compulsively.

"They could simply be late." One of the others said trying to calm the group, but the painter wasn't swayed.

"No, they are lost! Taken! There was something dark at work this morn. Two of the three who left expressed misgivings about the Valar ere they left." With their numbers added, that made seven so far who had disappeared. "'Tis the darkness! The shadows seek to blot out the light, even that within our hearts."

That was the beginning of his trouble. Hearing his kin speak of such darkness ignited within him a curiosity. He wished to understand why those who left chose to do so. Why would they willingly put themselves at risk when they had everything they needed here? The Valar provided for them in abundance. Why should they seek the bleak nothingness of the shadow?

So, in his attempts to understand, he began to study that which he should not. The shadow no longer seemed as dangerous to him, but a welcome respite from the perfection of the light.

In his zeal, he began visiting the river bend less frequently, but his lady appeared no less glad to see him when he did make the trip to see her. On the last of such occasions - which he had no way of knowing was the last - the sun was gentle, the river babbled away happily, and the trees shivered beneath a soft breeze. Everything was sweet and lovely...perfect.

Even the way she looked at him was particularly tender. He read her his latest composition, but he found midway through that his words, as excellently chosen as they always were, did not adequately express how he felt about her. Eventually, her fingers laid atop his arm, and his breath caught in his throat.

"Darling wordsmith, what troubles you?" She asked, and he felt exposed before her. Guilt wound its way through his heart for having explored what he ought not. Would she recoil from him? Cast him from her sight forever? Instead of a confession, however, a question slipped from his tongue without his permission.

"It has been said that one of the Maiar wanders this wood. Are you she?" He asked, and she did not hesitate to smile up at him.

"I am, but you have known that for quite some time." Brushing a few strands of his dark hair behind his ear as the wind shifted, she lifted an eyebrow. "Now, what truly troubles you?"

Swallowing nervously, he caught her wrist lightly in his grasp, laying a reverent kiss upon her skin. He had never been so bold before. He had never dared touch her or express his adoration so openly.

She did not object or move away.

"I trust you have heard about the Elves who have disappeared?" She nodded her head even as her expression became solemn. "I have been considering a course of action for some time, and...I intend to seek them out."

The Elf with no name looked for the woodland Maia's reaction only to find tears gathering in her eyes and spilling slowly down her cheeks - sparkling, diamond droplets seemingly glowing of their own volition. The sight lit a spark of alarm within his breast, constricting his lungs and urging him forward until he'd gathered her in his embrace.

With a bit of adjustment, she sat in his lap with her face buried in the crook of his neck and her arms around him. He held her close, but he could not find the right words to say to her. Ultimately, he murmured to her his apologies and felt one of her hands glide onto the back of his neck. Her lips brushed against the shell of his ear, and she spoke barely above a breath.

"Should you need me, you need only call my name." She told it to him, and he could not help clutching her tighter at the sound of that word encapsulating all that she was. Eventually, she pulled back just far enough to press her forehead softly against his own. "I will always come when you call. All I ask is that you do not surrender your own light. You will need it ere long."

Her nose touched his briefly as he swore to her that he would do as she said, and grief coiled in his heart when he felt how damp her skin was. He had not meant to make her weep. Reaching carefully up, he cupped her face in his warm palms and whispered quiet comforts. She deserved more than this - every happiness in the world, in fact - but he would still give her all that he was able.

Not for the first time, he wondered what it would be like to be bound to her as her husband. An Elf could never be worthy of a Maia, but he imagined what it would be like to be entangled with her like this every day. Her tears or her laughter, soft sighs or pleasure-filled breaths - anything she chose to give him would be a gift beyond measure, just as this moment was.

She allowed him to comfort her, to hold her. He savored the contact, even if he did regret bringing her unwelcome news. They stayed there on the riverbank until long past midnight. The moonlight, gentle and cleansing, caressed their faces as they lay down in each other's arms. Quietly, he caressed her face, tracing the bridge of her nose, the curve of her lips, the softness of her smile.

When they eventually parted, it was only after she'd placed her hand over his heart, whispering words in a language which he did not understand. Her fingers had begun to glow, and that light bled slowly into his chest, floating seemingly beneath his skin until her touch retreated. He did not know what she'd done, but the determined glint in her eyes made him wonder if it was some form of protection.

With great reluctance, he returned to his home. Before the next morning dawned, however, a call trickled into his ears, rousing him from his rest. It was time. All that he ever desired awaited him. He need only seek it. Low, guttural, and tugging at his very being, the voice - if it could be called a voice - dug a tendril of shadow into his mind.

He and five others rode away before daybreak.

The journey was a blur, and when he came back to himself, he found that all six of them were in a cave. Their horses were gone.

The Elf with no name looked around him but could perceive only darkness. Only shadows writhing and dancing before him. He'd been tricked. This was not the liberation he'd been led to believe the others had sought, nor was this something from which he could save them.

"Who are you? What do you want from us?" He called into the oblivion surrounding him, and a sinister laugh curled from its depths scratching fear from deep within the Elf's heart. The other five shuddered as well, but smiles broke across their faces. Was he alone in his regret?

"I am Morgoth." The voice seemed to echo and twine through the darkness, through the air, and bury itself deep within his heart. The Elf with no name dropped to his knees along with his kin.

He assumed that the voice in the darkness, the being who called himself Morgoth, would kill them. Mournfully, he recalled the face of his lady, his muse, his joy. How disappointed she would be with his actions! When she visited the river next, she would not find him there. No longer would he be able to write and recite poetry for her. Gone were the days wandering through the forest with her, seeking its privacy for their conversations.

He had not been worthy of her - his current position proved that - but he still lamented the thought that his death would sadden her. Her gentle spirit would not allow the death of a friend - low creature though he may be - to pass without notice. He had seen her weep before and it nearly shattered him to pieces even as he comforted her. He would not be there to do so this time.

The darkness rumbled again, and this time, pain streaked up his legs, making him crumble to the ground as he cried out.

"Six you are, and seven have come before you. Those who survive will be rewarded, but live or die, you are mine, now."

What had he done?

~*~

Taglist:

@asksizworld @bigblissandlove1 @gandalfthepimp @horta-in-charge @zoya-olenko

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

A true gift (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which you share a private moment with your husband, then add a special little detail to his new look

Warnings: evil!reader, nudity, mentions of smut, but really this is just a silly fluff piece written ‘cause I’m obsessed with his little hair bow🤭

Note: set in 2x06, part of the evil!reader collection - all you need to know for this one is that reader has been married to Sauron since before Adar killed him and infiltrated herself in Eregion as a smith while she waited for his return.

Your husband is a Maia, and as such never sleeps. He does, however, feel inclined to lie down with his eyes closed and be lost to the world, in moments such as now—when he is held in your peaceful embrace, your fingers lovingly stroking his loose hair.

It’s a rare moment of intimacy these days, and you cherish it all the more for it. Celebrimbor rarely allows you a moment of respite in his rush to finish the Nine, and you and your husband do your best to not disappear at the same time, so as to avoid suspicions that you share any deeper of a relationship with him than the other smiths of Eregion. Needless to say, you are overjoyed to find yourself alone with him. And in a bed, no less.

He had slipped inside your chamber under the cover of night, and sleep had been the furthest thing from your mind as you and your husband had sated your longing over and again. Naked and spent, you had pulled each other close, and so you still are now, as soft morning light pours through your window. He has coiled himself around your completely, one leg draped across your waist and his head resting upon your chest, and you do not mind his weight above you in the slightest as you hold him close. His hair is wonderfully soft under your roaming fingertips, his skin delights yours everywhere you touch.

He may not need sleep, but you would gladly drift into it. In a blissful position such as this, you would drift gladly even into death.

But you do neither, for he stirs, wishing to lift his head. You know what he means to say—that your absence will soon be noticed now that the day has begun, that you ought to return to the forge and to your plans and to your charade. You tighten your hold on him and keep his head against your chest, giving a stubborn groan.

His low chuckle reverberates into your skin.

“I know. I know,” he coos, shifting to press his lips to your heart. “I have no wish to leave.”

“But you will,” you sigh in defeat, even as he trails lazy kisses up along your clavicle. “We must.”

He hums, nuzzling your neck. Too much of you is pressed against too much of him for desire not to ignite within you at the slightest movement. It’s a bittersweet relief when he presses one last, lingering kiss to your lips and takes it upon himself to pry his body away from yours and leave the bed. You turn to your side, pulling the covers up to your chest to ward off the cold he leaves behind.

You are, however, presented with the slight consolation of watching your husband move naked about the room.

Of course, it isn’t exactly the particular image of your husband’s body, or even the features of his face that had won your affections in the first place. Your love runs too deep to be dampened by any sort of aesthetic transformation, though you do admit some forms are more practical than others when it comes to the physical aspect of your relationship, strictly shape-wise (one such as the amorphous black mass to which he had been reduced until recently, for instance, might prove a challenge in that department—yet not an entirely insurmountable one).

His current form, however... Lord of Gifts, indeed. It is the finest of male specimens of whom you are given a most generous view, and he damn well knows it. He takes his sweet time sauntering across the room, each movement slow and deliberate as he treats you to the sight of his tall, perfectly sculpted body. His long hair falling over his shoulder blades, the elegant line of his spine, the plump globes of his buttocks—oh, the bastard. Showing himself off as if you are not in a state of constant desire for him, like you’re not literally his soulbound wife already.

Or maybe it’s you slowing time with your eyes as you look at him, precisely because of how utterly and hopelessly smitten you are.

Whatever the case, a knowing smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as he glances your way. You look on, shamelessly, as he recovers the clothes he had carelessly discarded the night before, and methodically (as well as tragically) begins to dress himself back to decency. He’d had a new garment made, one more suited to his tastes now that his previous modest, light-grey robes had served their purpose of conveying his most pure intentions to Celebrimbor. This outfit is an intricately patterned black with a golden band at the waist, the imitation of leaves raining down his collar area and left shoulder, and a discrete glimmer that looks as though stars have been trapped deep within the fabric of his sleeves.

You’d loved the sight of him dressed in it so much that, paradoxically, you had taken tremendous pleasure in stripping it off him. He was a gift in too pretty a wrapping for you not to greedily reach inside for the wonders you knew lay there, meant only for you.

But if you had it your way and peeled it off each time the mood arose, you would never get anything done. Perhaps, once you are King and Queen and have plenty of servants to carry out your orders, you shall be free to confine yourselves to some ornate bedchamber and reemerge only after days on end of having your fill of one another.

For now, you must allow his newly tidy appearance to remain intact. He is nearly ready to join the others in the forge, the only unruliness left about him being his loose and disheveled hair. You particularly enjoy how softly it falls upon your shoulders whilst you are beneath him, and he certainly takes pleasure in your tendency to fist your hands in it and tug at the roots, causing all kinds of entanglements. It’s nearly sad, how easily he can undo the sensual mess. One power-wielding hand smoothing down the tresses, and his hair looks as though it has been brushed to perfection with a thousand thoroughly administered strokes.

That done, he sits down at your vanity and picks up the last accessory he must arrange upon himself—the headpiece he’s been wearing since he became Annatar, the partial imitation of a crown which curves around the back of his head, serving to hold his hair practically away from his face whilst accentuating the divine nature of the presumed Lord of Gifts.

Lord of Gifts.

Your love-addled brain is stricken with an idea too wonderful to go unheeded.

“Oh, let me,” you say, suddenly rising from beneath the sheets. It takes but a moment to put on a nearby nightgown, not nearly enough for your husband’s questioning eyes to drink you in the way he attempts to, but you are too enthusiastic to care. It is best anyway not to let his gaze set your skin ablaze when you must wait for the following night to have him tend to the flames.

His brow knits in slight amusement, but he indulges you and halts in his movements, waiting for you to come to him. He must think you mean to arrange the headpiece in his hair yourself—thus stealing another few touches before you leave the bedchamber and must refrain from doing so for the remainder of the day. And he is not too far from the truth. But as soon as you are standing behind him, you take the accessory from his hand and toss it casually upon the bed, reaching for your comb on the vanity table instead. Now, your husband frowns, unsure.

“My love, as much as I would like an excuse to prolong our stay—”

“Oh, shush,” you chide. “This will take but a moment.”

With nimble fingers and the help of the comb, you part his hair at the temples and brush it into satisfyingly neat sections. It’s an improvisation, really, but you set about the task you have in mind with nothing but determination and a nice little hum on your breath. Your husband sits with the sort of quiet compliance he reserves for your benefit only, and you know that he is relishing the sensation of your fingers gently handling his hair as much as you are. At times your fingers more or less coincidentally brush over the pointed tips of his ears, and the lightest flutter of his lashes betrays how sensitive they are to the touch, the very same as those of any Elf.

You catch his gaze in the mirror, and give him a playful smile as you work on his hair. The vision you had in mind is beginning to take nice shape, and you bite your lip in concentration as you try to guide each golden strand precisely where you need it to be.

“Pass me that hair tie, will you?” It’s a bit further away on the vanity table than the previous ones you had used, and you are busy keeping together quite the intricate design. Your husband obliges you—but his hand catches yours as you take the tie from him.

“My love,” he says, mirth dancing in his eyes in the mirror, “I do hope you have not managed a knot so vicious that even my power cannot see it undone.”

“It isn’t a knot,” you retort, lightly swatting his hand away from yours so you can finish what you started. You shake your head in faux disappointment. “How little you trust me.”

“I trust you with life, my flesh and my soul,” he declares solemnly. “My hair, however, is a different matter.”

That would earn him another scandalized swat, if your hands weren’t occupied with the finishing touches to your little masterpiece.

“There,” you grin triumphantly, at last satisfied with what you have accomplished. It’s almost ridiculous, the youthful delight that takes over you. An echo from a distant life that was so long ago, it barely feels like it was ever yours. It brings a small pang to your chest—but you ignore it as you cradle your husband’s head from behind and place an adoring little kiss to his hair, right above your handy work.

With a small, not unkind sigh, he picks up a hand mirror from the table and turns around on his stool so he may align the reflection with the one in the vanity mirror, see for himself what you have accomplished:

An utterly precious, superbly elegant hair bow.

“A true gift,” you say proudly, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, “for all of Middle-Earth.” Your fingers drift to his chin, and nudge it upward so he meets your gaze. “But for me, especially.”

Without looking away, he sets down the hand mirror and takes your wrist, planting a kiss to the palm of your hand.

“It is fitting,” he admits, a teasing lilt to his tons as he idly plays with your fingers. “It shall be a pity, when I next bed you, to see such beautiful work unraveled by the very hands which crafted it.”

“Oh, I am not ruining that,” you assure him, striving to sound like you mean it. “Whatever you may do, I shall keep my hands firmly to myself. Or rather, to other parts of you,” you add, shrugging as if in afterthought.

The underlying challenge in your voice is swiftly accepted. Your husband stands and faces you with a mischievous gaze, cupping your cheeks.

“We shall see,” he murmurs against your lips, right before he claims them in a parting kiss filled with lurid promises. Then he pulls away, smiling innocently. “See you soon, my love.”

You are reminded, as he leaves, how futile it is to pretend like you may ever part without your body and soul aching for his return before he even steps out of your sight. But all eyes which look upon him today shall see the work of your loving fingers that he proudly wears upon himself—another small consolation to which you cling whilst you wait for the victory that shall make all your sufferings worth it.

Previous fic with same reader -> As we are now

Next fic with same reader -> Jealousy

[sansaorgana]

— THE SERPENT QUEEN

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader

SUMMARY — The Queen of The Southlands is Adar's prisoner in Mordor but her husband comes back to set her free. At least that is what they want other people to believe. In fact, they seek their revenge on the Lord Father of the Uruks and they certainly are up to no good.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — The idea for this story started quite simple – Halbrand looks so hot in this episode that while rewatching I thought... what if he was like "set my wife free" instead of "let my people go"...? 🥵 And in the end the story grew much bigger plot-wise and it's quite long but I didn't want to split it in two parts because I feel like more interesting things are happening later in the story. 🙈🤣 The Reader is a Maia and she changes her forms but I did not describe how any of them look like except for a little detail that is a scar and I needed it for the plot. She is also a shape-shifter like her husband but she is known for being a serpent and she is referred to as (Y/N), which is her "Maia name" but I also gave her three other names, which are for her disguises and their meanings are explained in the fic. BTW there might be a second part to my Chrysalis fanfic! But I wanted to write something else first! 🦋

WARNINGS — Reader is not a good person, mentions of Morgoth's past abuse (towards her, Mairon and Adar), Reader is being beaten by the Orcs as their prisoner (she is a Maia, though, so it doesn't really damage her or anything... but still!), brief mentions of other prisoners dying (including children), Reader has a scar on her chest/breast, shape-shifting into a snake (can it be a tw?)

WORD COUNT — 8,500 (🙈)

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THE SERPENT QUEEN

“Where did Halbrand’s wife ever learn how to use a sword?” Galadriel wondered after watching your little performance to show her that you indeed could pick the freshly forged weapon up and wield it.

You panicked at first, not knowing what to say, therefore you laid your eyes on your husband who was leaning on the wall with a smirk as he watched you. His tanned muscles, dirty from the forge’s grease, flexed in a very appealing manner as he smirked. After all, he was the master of deception, therefore you hoped he would come up with a good lie.

“That is how I fell in love with her, don’t you know?” He chuckled and shook his head, winking at you. “I started a tavern brawl once and there she was, showed up out of nowhere and pressed a knife to my throat, telling me to get out of her father’s tavern. She kicked my arse although I admit, I let her,” he added and you rolled your eyes.

“Bollocks,” you snorted at that. “Keep lying to yourself, Hal.”

Galadriel smiled at the story, however she remained vigilant.

“That does not answer my question,” she pointed out but you already felt more comfortable with lying since your husband had prepared the soil for it.

“My grandfather was a knight,” you told her. “A poor one that had been given some of his own land but he lost nearly all of his humble fortune because of gambling. He kept his sword, though, and I was his only grandchild. My old man never learnt how to wield it nor was interested in it but I picked it up quite fast. My grandfather was hesitant at first since I was a girl but he eventually gave in and taught me,” you added to make the story more believable. Galadriel, however, looked a little stunned while you grew frustrated. “Listen here, Elf, human women are stronger and more independent than you think. In the village not so far away from ours, there is this woman… Annie’s her name, am I right, Hal?” You looked at your husband with another made up lie.

“Aye, hard–headed Annie,” he nodded and Galadriel raised an eyebrow.

“She is a carpenter’s widow and when ol’ John died, Annie was left with nothing. She learnt the craft in a year and re-opened the workshop,” you told her and Galadriel seemed to be a little surprised but did not comment any further.

“Well, alright then, knight’s granddaughter,” she challenged you as she raised her own sword slightly to point its sharp tip at you. “Show me how you fight now. Holding the sword and waving it around is one thing but dueling with me is another,” she walked out of your house and you swallowed thickly, squeezing the sword’s hilt.

“Don’t overdo it,” Mairon squeezed your arm when you were on your way out. He leaned in to hiss it into your ear as he shot you a warning glance. “(Y/N), I mean it. Let her win in the end.”

You looked deep into his eyes without hiding your frustration and anger. 

“Oh? You think I would defeat her? Have you forgotten already?!” You snapped at him, lowering aggressively your white blouse from underneath your corset with your free hand to show him a scar on your breast.

The scar Lady Galadriel had left there the very last time you had duelled with her back in the First Age during the battle where she had known you under a different name and profession, which was one of Morgoth’s Lieutenants. The wound had been inflicted with a steel from Valinor and its pure light had damaged your physical form forever – no matter what shape you took, your form always had a scar in the very same spot.

Your husband looked at the scar and chuckled at the sight of it, which annoyed you further.

“Just go and do your thing but don’t make her suspicious,” he said and you fixed your blouse before following Galadriel outside but not without giving him a scolding look.

Mairon walked out of the building as well and leaned on another wall now but this time in the shadow of the building’s roof where he was able to watch your duel with the Lady of Light.

“Do not fret, it is but a friendly sparring,” she smiled at you.

“I don’t fret,” you emphasised and charged at her.

You were trying to keep your rage at bay and despite the centuries since your previous fight, you quickly found your rhythm again that resembled a gracious dance of two fierce ladies. Feeling your husband’s gaze upon you, not without feeling frustrated and humiliated, you stumbled a few times and let out a few groans of effort to look more human and less experienced than you truly were, hesitating here and there before making the next move even though it had been calculated and planned already.

The Númenorian commoners living on the same street as you and your husband these days froze in the middle of the pavement and abandoned their daily errands to watch the sparring between two foreigner women and what fascinated them the most was how this extraordinary duel was between a human and an Elf. But what they did not know was the fact that the fight in front of their eyes was even more special than they realised.

It was a fight between two old enemies and none of them was mortal. A duel between the Lady of Light, Commander of the Northern Armies of High King Gil-Galad and the Serpent Queen – the only female Lieutenant of Morgoth and then Sauron’s right hand and wife. You had been enemies with her for long centuries now and even in the songs and legends you had always been put against one another. However, that was something even she did not know of at the moment.

You finally landed on the ground, your shoulder blades hitting the pavement as you dropped your sword. She would probably win either way, which was something you had to admit to your own self bitterly, however this time you allowed it to happen much quicker than usual. The way you fell down on the ground hurt your human flesh, therefore you let out a whine and Galadriel’s eyes widened slightly. She visibly felt bad about the fierceness in which she had defeated you despite assuring you of the friendly nature of this sparring.

But throughout the fight you could feel her frustration growing when she had realised you were better than she had been expecting.

“Are you quite alright?” She asked, reaching out towards you with his hand. “You fought well. Your style reminds me of someone very powerful I had once known… Your grandfather must have been a grand knight.”

“I am fine,” you drawled out through your gritted teeth and grabbed her hand, allowing her to help you stand up while you picked up the sword from the ground. The people watching on the pavement were slowly going back to running their daily errands. “Do you think my skills are enough to fight the Orcs?” You asked, innocently.

“Yes, I think so,” Galadriel nodded with a furrowed brow and looked behind you to meet your husband’s gaze. “If your husband allows it, that is.”

“I don’t need his permission for anything,” you shrugged your arms.

“Of course,” Galadriel smiled softly. “But I’m sure Halbrand here would not want to lose you, Maira.”

“I’m not worried about that,” he approached you two and stood behind you before wrapping his strong arm around your waist. “She’s invincible, that woman,” he leaned in to kiss your cheek and you giggled. “My woman,” he added and you patted his arm playfully.

Galadriel kept smiling gently at the two of you. She was very glad her plan was working out and of course you had been making sure it would. Your husband had been playing the role of a man who wanted to have nothing to do with his heritage and you played the role of an insisting wife, motivating her man to do the right thing. A classic, old tale.

“The Southlands will prosper under your rule, of that I am sure,” Galadriel whispered with hope in her voice. “King Halbrand and Queen Maira. Your bloodline will be the bloodline of the great and righteous kings.”

“And queens,” you winked at her with a chuckle.

About that one thing you agreed with her, actually – The Southlands would prosper under your rule.

You would heal it, after all. And then you would be moving along to heal more realms and lands. Until all of Middle-earth would be nothing but perfect.

You were not sure if the volcano exploding was part of your husband’s plan. It probably was but as usual he had not told you everything and it frustrated you greatly. Either way, you had no time to discuss it with him as the dust and fire began to cause chaos and destruction. As the (self-proclaimed) Queen of The Southlands, you busied yourself with pretending to be a protector of your subjects, helping women and children to seek shelter.

The darkness and disarray made it possible for all the Orcs to break free and begin their slaughter as well. And somewhere amongst the messy battle, you were suddenly thrown on the ground with all force and attacked by the filthy creatures you had once led to the battlefield yourself.

Therefore, you knew perfectly well everything about how they were fighting and how they were thinking. Surrounded by darkness and chaos you could show the true potential of your abilities since Galadriel could not see you and find them suspicious. This way, you slayed quite a few Orcs but there were too many of them charging at you and, eventually, they kicked the sword out of your hand and held you by your hair, throwing your head back to expose your neck for the dirty blade of the biggest one amongst them.

“Mairon,” you called for him with your mind. You needed a rescue – you did not want to lose this flesh, which would separate you from your husband for another few centuries.

You had been patiently waiting for his return, hiding away from the Valar who wanted to find and judge you. If you lost your flesh now like he had once lost his, you would have to be away from him for a few more centuries. What a cruel fate it would be but perhaps that was the way for the gods to punish you from afar.

And how ironic it would be if you lost your wife because of the Orcs like your husband had once lost his as well. 

“Mairon!” You called for him again when the Orc’s blade moved closer to your neck.

Your husband, however, was busy fighting and perhaps he didn’t even sense your calling. There was only one thing you could do to save your flesh now, although it risked losing your disguise.

The human colour of your eyes subdued slowly and you allowed your pupils to narrow unnaturally as if you were a snake while one side of your human face swelled with thick, black blood flowing in your veins. The Orcs took a step back and looked at each other, confused. You quickly went back to your ordinary and innocent look, though, making them believe they had just experienced some sort of mirage.

They were only descendants of the ones who had been fighting by your side all the centuries ago before your army had turned their backs on you, leaving you in the middle of the battlefield to die from the wound Galadriel had inflicted upon you. Therefore, they could not remember you.

But, perhaps, the legend of the Serpent Queen was still being told between a father and a son amongst the Orcs. Amongst the Elves you were known as Lókë, too, just like your husband was known as Sauron. The Serpent and The Abhorred.

“I am Maira, Queen of The Southlands,” you breathed out the name of your human disguise to the Orcs, pretending to be as desperate as proud. “I am more valuable to you alive,” you added.

They were grunting between each other some things in the Black Speech, which you could understand perfectly but you pretended you could not. Finally, they agreed to let Adar decide your fate and you clenched your jaw at the mention of his name.

The one who had betrayed you and your husband. The one who had ordered the Orcs to leave you out to die in the battlefield where you had been fighting at the same time Mairon had been coronating himself. The war with the Elves had kept you apart on the day so important but you had been trying to remain hopeful – to win him a battle as his coronation gift and get your own coronation ceremony shortly after.

In fact, your husband had promised you that yours would be much grander and more beautiful if you had to have two separate ones. His had been supposed to be a humble one but yours would be the most breathtaking and splendid.

And after nearly coughing your lungs out after being wounded and naively left alone to die as if you were an ordinary mortal, you had crawled out of the battlefield, leaving a bloody trail behind you. And when you had arrived at your fortress, all you had found was Mairon’s dead body.

Knowing he would eventually come back to you, you focused on healing yourself and hiding from the outside world since now you had no army and no husband by your side, meanwhile the Valar had been searching for you. And all this time, you had been tempted to find Adar and seek your revenge but you knew your husband would not be happy that you had taken this from him. He had been the one personally slain by Adar, therefore the vengeance was his to take.

The Orcs put the shackles around your wrists and dragged you behind them to some shed where you were supposed to wait. And while you were on your way there, you finally heard him.

“(Y/N)?” You sensed a panic in his tone. “We are leaving, I am faking an injury. Where are you?”

“Go, Mairon,” you answered. “I am their prisoner and I am sure you can make an advantage of it,” you assured your husband with your mind. He was not replying for a while as if he was thinking about a new scheme.

“I will be back,” he only assured you after a while and you smirked to yourself.

“I know.”

Beaten and bruised, hair full of mud and dried out blood, you were dragged in shackles alongside other human prisoners and you were given no special treatment due to your status. Of course, despite the unpleasant experience of your human form, none of that could truly affect you because you were not bound to your flesh. 

If you truly were who you were claiming to be – a human common woman Maira – you would be long dead now, of that you were sure. In fact, you could see some of the humans dying out of exhaustion or injuries and they were mostly women and children.

Each time they were feeling worse, like the true Queen of The Southlands, you were begging for mercy and for help. And each time you were punished for that but of course nothing could damage your flesh permanently – except for pure Elven steel that represented the light of Valinor… but the Orcs did not possess such weapons, naturally.

They worked on some sort of a primitive settlement for themselves and the humans were required to help them. As a woman you were given a bit lighter jobs around and you were performing them although you wondered when would Adar finally grace you with an audience as you were gritting your teeth and wondering where your husband was and what was he doing.

And, finally, one day, while working alongside others, you spotted Lord Father taking a walk around the camp. He was talking to a few Orcs and nodding his head at their reports. 

You lifted your head up and Adar turned around this very moment as if he felt some sort of a connection between you two. Your eyes met and he tilted his head slightly when you were giving him a hateful look before going back to work.

After a short while, you were being beckoned over by the Orcs to approach them and Adar.

“You!” One of them called in his filthy, raspy voice. “Queen of The Southlands,” he addressed you with irony. “Come ‘ere, Your Majesty,” he emphasised the title as the rest laughed.

You straightened your back and walked up to them as much as the collar around your neck attached to a chain allowed you to. It was not enough, so Adar took a few steps ahead to stand closer to you and examine your face. You could feel your hatred for him growing and making your fists clench around nothing.

“What do they call you, Your Majesty? I believe your name has escaped me,” he started.

“Maira, my Lord,” you remained polite to pose as a person full of dignity no matter what circumstances were.

“Maira…” Adar hummed to himself and furrowed his brows. “The name sounds oddly familiar to me.”

Of course it did, what an idiot, you thought. You named your human disguise after your husband’s true name. And perhaps it had been a mistake, you had just realised.

“Named after my great-grandmother, I was,” you nodded at him. “I wanted to talk to you for a while now, actually. About the way you treat my people here. They need more food and water, better shelters at night, especially children,” you continued your play-pretend. “But I don’t think you want to talk to me about that, am I right?” You sighed.

“My children work as hard as your people. We all start with nothing here,” Adar pointed out and you clenched your jaw at his words.

“Yet your children walk freely and we have collars around our necks,” you told him.

“There is a price one must pay for being defeated,” he pointed out and lowered his gaze at the place where your blouse was torn, revealing a small part of your scar.

Adar furrowed his brows and lowered your blouse down with his cold finger as a shiver travelled down your spine and your heart began to pounder.

“My husband would kill you for that, my Lord,” you threatened but he ignored you.

“Where did you get a scar like this? I’ve seen you back there on the battlefield and you fought well, my Queen,” he addressed you with sarcasm, of course, “and you seemed to be experienced in combat.”

“The scar is not from any combat and I’ve been taught how to fight by my grandfather, he was a knight,” you answered his question but he kept staring at your scar and tilting his head. Was it possible that he could sense the source of the old wound? He was an Elf after all and what had poisoned you forever now was made out of Valinor’s light. “Aye, my Lord, the scar is from my past when I was a very young maiden and didn’t listen to my mama as I wandered around the woods on my own. Don’t worry, I defended myself and you should see the other guy,” you chuckled nervously and Adar finally raised his eyes to meet your gaze but he still looked unconvinced.

One of the Orcs approached him as he kept staring at you suspiciously. He whispered something into Adar’s ear and you could hear the word serpent as you realised that the same Orc had been one of those who had captured you before.

Adar nodded at him and laid his eyes upon you once more, this time even more intrigued than a moment earlier.

“My children claim you pulled a magic trick on them,” he pointed out and you had a feeling that denying it would only make it look worse for you, so you came up with another excuse.

Actually, you realised that lying was not such a difficult craft. So far, you had been mostly relying on your husband to prepare the soil for your deceptions but now, when he was not around to help, you found out it was not that hard to do it on your own.

“My grandmother was a witch, they say,” you remarked.

“You seem to be coming from a very interesting bloodline,” Adar smirked and you sighed.

“You want to talk about my ancestors, my Lord? Sure, why not. I feel myself invited for dinner then, but is it not rude to keep your guests in shackles?” You raised an eyebrow and his facial expression hardened immediately.

“Where is your husband, I wanted to ask?” He finally inquired what he had called you for in the first place.

“The hell would I know?” You shrugged your arms. “What do you need him for?”

“To send him a message that I have you,” Adar explained. “What other use are you to me if not a bargaining chip?” He pointed out. “If he doesn’t come for you, I can kill you easily and get rid of the burden.”

“He will come back,” you assured him with a head nod as your eyes became serious in an instant. “I don’t know where he is but he will not forsake me. You can expect him any day,” you added. “Not only I was left behind, my Lord, but his subjects, too.”

Adar nodded at you and dismissed you before walking away. You, however, stood still and kept staring at his back with nothing but pure hatred.

“What are you staring at?!” One of the Orcs barked at you. “Go back to work, whore!”

“You have no idea who you have just called a whore,” you only told him before turning around and going back to other prisoners. The Orc laughed at you. “Scum,” you muttered under your breath.

The day was windy and dark – like all days nowadays in the land that Adar had renamed to be Mordor. Mairon quite liked the sound of it and he thought he would not change it. Unless his wife would insist, of course. You hated everything that came from Adar, therefore you could want to change the name and he would not blame you.

If you two did not need the army of the Orcs so badly, you would probably insist on getting rid of them, too. That was how much you hated Adar and his children.

A few weeks you had suffered at the Orcs’ camp while your husband worked in Eregion with Lord Celebrimbor – pretending to be worried and heartbroken about his wife’s imprisonment, of course – but now he was finally back to free you and to continue his plan.

He had not been actually heartbroken – he knew his Serpent Queen was strong and truly invincible but he had been worried indeed. Worried that your impulsive nature had given your disguise away somehow during that time.

After turning himself in he was led in chains, with a collar around his neck, to see Adar alongside other humans captured on the way. He witnessed some people being killed for refusing to kneel in front of their new Lord and some being marked with burning iron for choosing to follow the new leader. As a man posing to be their King and protector, Mairon had to pretend to be sympathetic towards their fate.

“The King of The Southlands turned himself in, Lord Father,” one of the Orcs pushed him to stand closer to Adar who had been squinting his eyes at the man in front of him. “Says he wants to negotiate.”

“Is she alive?” Mairon asked as his voice broke a little although he knew perfectly well that you were – his sweet (Y/N), he could sense your presence from miles away now.

Adar hesitated before giving him an answer, visibly debating with himself inside of his mind.

“Worried about the witch, are you?” Adar finally asked and Mairon gritted his teeth.

What looked like him being angry at Adar for calling his wife a witch, was nothing but his anger towards you for being impulsive enough to earn such a title amongst them now.

“What are you talking about?” Mairon asked.

“Nothing,” Adar shook his head and chuckled. “She is alive and a burden to us all. Her wicked tongue and her big mouth surely are. If you want to take her, I am not going to ask for much in return. I will gladly get rid of your Queen,” Adar remarked and the Orcs laughed. 

Mairon moved uncomfortably. It was all a game, of course, but he felt real rage now at the disrespect these filthy creatures were showing to their rightful Queen.

“That is good to hear but I am here not only as her husband. I am here as the King of my people, too,” Mairon pointed out. “Let them go.”

The Orcs laughed again, which was something he had been expecting. Adar remained serious, though, and so did Mairon.

“...or yours will die,” he threatened, although as a human he was posing to be he could not do anything, of course.

Perhaps he shouldn’t be so angry with you for making too many hints about your real nature because he was giving in to the temptation himself now. It was simply impossible for creatures as proud as you two not to hint at your real greatness when you were forced to be humiliated by the circumstances.

Adar finally shook his head and snorted at Mairon’s threat.

“My people defeated the Men of these lands,” he said. “We defeated the Elves who came to their aid. We even defeated the allies, the Men from beyond the sea,” he stood up from his throne to walk up to Mairon. “There is no one left for us to fear.”

“There is one,” Mairon said to that, pretending to look hopeless and defeated. “Since Galadriel’s defeat, she sought out new allies,” he continued as Adar kept staring at him angrily but not without a hint of fear on his scarred face. “An ancient sorcerer and a Lady of Darkness, to instruct the Elves in forging a new weapon.”

The Orcs were visibly upset about the news as they looked at each other, worried.

“One you first told her about,” Mairon kept teasing to plant an idea inside Adar’s mind that he could be a source of his children’s demise. “A power over flesh,” he explained. “Do you remember those words? A power that will allow them to use your children as slaves in their army once more,” he finished his teasing. “I fled from them after finding out with whom the Elves wanted to forge an alliance,” he continued with the lie.

“Galadriel would never have anything to do with them. She spent long centuries fighting them and their evil,” Adar shook his head.

“Nothing brings people together as much as a common enemy. Perhaps she hates your children more than she hates them,” Mairon answered.

“Besides, they are both slain,” Adar chuckled nervously, trying to convince others as much as himself, therefore Mairon ignored that accusation.

“Set my wife free, let my people go, and I will tell you where they can be found, so you can destroy them and rid us both of their endless evil,” he made sure to sound a little frightened as well.

“No, Your Majesty,” Adar addressed him with irony as he moved even closer. “You will tell me everything you think you know of this sorcerer and his serpent whore now. Or I will spill the words from your throat.”

“If I die, all that I know dies with me,” Mairon pointed out. “You can’t kill me.”

“We’ll see for how long you keep that attitude,” Adar smirked before looking at one of the Orcs. “Bring her.”

You knew that your husband was back already, you could sense him for long hours now. However, you kept working as usual and pretending that you could not sense anything. The Orcs were already calling you a witch and you wanted them to think of you as an innocent village folk healer instead of a real sorceress with any grand powers because that would be too suspicious.

“You,” you felt a dirty hand grabbing you and turning you around as you nearly bumped into an Orc standing there.

“What is it?” You furrowed your brows, expecting him to inform you that you were free to go after your husband’s negotiations.

This, however, did not happen. Of course. Life would be too beautiful then.

You were dragged by the chain towards one of the wooden huts and thrown inside on the hard floor. You scratched your hands when you landed on it with your arms extended to avoid bumping your head.

“She is no part of this,” you heard a familiar voice and you raised your head as your eyes sparkled and a smile appeared on your face at the sight of your husband. 

He had a collar around his neck as well and he was as dirty and bruised as you were, chained to a wooden pillar. You wanted to run up to him but the chain around your neck was too short to be able to reach him as the Orcs laughed and they chained you to another pillar. This way you could face your husband but you could not touch him and what a great torment it truly was.

It was surely a torment much greater than the physical pain they were inflicting upon you to make him talk. And while they kicked and punched you, you dissociated – staring blankly at the wall and being grateful for the fact you were a creature powerful enough to be able to mentally leave your body like this.

“Stop it!” Mairon begged in a raspy voice as one of the Orcs kept his head still, forcing him to watch. When you laid your eyes on him once, you swore, he even faked a tear streaming down his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” you heard his voice inside your head and it made you realise that the tear was not a play-pretend. Watching you being in pain was not something he enjoyed unless it was in your intimate moments – something rooted in love and mutual consent.

“I can handle that,” you answered. “What is your plan?”

“I will tell you when we are left alone by them. Can you endure a bit more, my love?” He asked, worryingly.

“I would endure centuries of that for you, Mairon,” you assured him. “I will, however, lose consciousness now,” you warned him so he would not be scared before you pulled the trick on the Orcs and forced your flesh to shut down, pretending to faint out of pain.

Enduring the pain they were causing you was easy. Watching them hurt your husband was worse even though you knew that his case was exactly like yours and none of the damage could truly take him down or become too unbearable. Watching his pain was still making your heart ache as you sobbed and begged them to stop while your head was being kept still and forced to observe like his head had been held earlier by them as well.

The Orcs were taking turns in tormenting you both and you already knew all of Mairon’s plan, which he had revealed to you when they had left you for the night, thinking you would sleep the injuries off, not knowing that rest was not something any of you needed.

One evening the Orcs brought a growling and snarling warg with a collar around his neck like yours and chained him to yet another pillar. He could not hurt any of you because of the length of his chain but they assumed his presence would make you more scared as they walked out laughing and wishing you a good night ironically.

“Aww, poor baby,” you sighed and leaned your head back on the wooden pillar behind you. “Look, my love, they keep him on such a short chain. It should be a crime,” you pointed out. “Shh, shh, sweetheart, it’s fine now,” you cooed to the warg and he barked at you angrily. “Oh, don’t be cross with me, it was not me putting you here!” You chuckled at him and took a look at your husband from the corner of your eye.

He was sitting up as well, leaning on his pillar and staring at you lovingly from between his ruffled brown hair with a soft smile.

“You’ve always liked them,” he whispered.

“What is there not to like about those big, hairy beasts that tend to bite?” You teased him with a wicked smile and he chuckled while shaking his head.

“Do you remember witnessing me like that for the first time?” He asked and you smiled at the memory.

“You stepped on me, my love,” you said and he laughed, therefore you pouted, “and I do not find it funny!”

“You were easy to overlook, my darling. You were a snake then,” he reminded you

“First of all, I was the most beautiful snake in the woods, so you should have spotted me immediately,” you teased. “Second of all, I was terrified, remember? It was the first time I transformed and I could not repeat it. I truly thought I would never go back into my old shape…”

“But then, a big werewolf stepped on you and you suddenly changed into the fair maiden that you are to scold him,” he finished the story. “My wife.”

“Your wife,” you nodded with a smile. “I recognised you immediately, my husband. I recognised you by your eyes alone even though they were yellow orbs of the beast but something about them told me it was my Mairon.”

“And you hopped on me and I took you back to the fortress and our master laughed at that, remember? He called me your dog then,” he chuckled as he shook his head but you frowned at the mention of Morgoth.

“I never liked how he would humiliate you,” you admitted.

“This humiliation I did not mind,” he said.

“This whole thing,” you looked around, “reminds me of the past. Adar treats us like our master once did – making me watch you being hurt and forcing you to witness my torment. Do you think he is inspired by what our master was doing to us? And now he is inflicting it upon… well, us?” You chuckled sadly.

“I… don’t want to remember that,” your husband winced as he leaned his head back on the pillar behind him.

“Forgive me,” you looked down.

“Do you know what pains me the most?” He asked and you raised an eyebrow at him. “That we will forever be known and remembered as his subjects. His followers and his successors. His shadows.”

“There is nothing else we can do. In Valinor we are no longer welcome,” you shrugged your arms, however the old scar nearby your heart burnt at the mention of your home where, deep down, you longed to come back.

But not without Mairon.

“They wanted to give us a chance,” your husband reminded you in a whisper.

“And you really think they would allow us back in on the same terms? Don’t be foolish,” you snorted. “We would forever be outcasts amongst them and they would never trust us. And we would have to bow our heads for the rest of our lives – bow them lower than others to remain in their good graces. I’d rather be known as our master’s shadow and forever wear the stain of being his property once than to bow down in front of anyone ever again!” You drawled out through gritted teeth with determination and Mairon met your gaze, a little taken aback by your outburst. “You are the only one I can bow my head to.”

“You do not have to bow your head to anyone, my love,” he assured you.

At that very moment you were interrupted by a filthy human working for Adar and the Orcs – he was the worst amongst all of these creatures because he was doing all these things not because he had to or out of his nature but simply because he wanted to remain in their good favours no matter what.

He laughed with contempt at the sight of you and your husband and by the stink alone you recognised that he was carrying food for you.

“Am I interrupting’ somethin’, lovebirds?” He asked, to which you and your husband said nothing. “Come on, Your Majesties,” he teased. “Not even kings and queens can go without food,” he reminded you and he had lots of reasons to because you both had been refusing to eat for days now.

He crouched down next to you, probably too scared to tease your husband or perhaps you were more pleasant for his eye. Either way, you wanted to make him regret that.

You did not enjoy being perceived as weaker than your husband only because you were a woman. One thing you had to admit about your master – he had never treated you any different because of your gender. The pain, the torture, the punishments, the responsibilities – you had been gifted the very same ones as any other.

“Why doesn’t he want to open up?” Waldreg whispered into your ear as you kept staring at your husband only, ignoring him completely. “Mayhaps he doesn’t care about you so much, does he? Mayhaps it doesn’t bother him to see you in pain, Your Majesty.”

You clenched your jaw at his words. He had absolutely no idea how much Mairon cared. How much he had been caring for centuries now. How many times he had taken your master’s anger on himself to protect you.

“Mayhaps he told you what he knew, huh?” Waldreg continued. “I’m sure he did. You tell old Waldreg everything you know about Sauron and Lókë…”

Suddenly, you turned your head around to hiss at him, letting out a sound the very same as any real serpent would. Waldreg got startled and jumped back before stumbling down and falling as you chuckled with contempt.

“Pain must be something you enjoy!” He exclaimed at you and threw the food on the floor as two Orcs hurried to his side to help him stand up.

“Oh, mayhaps I do,” you mocked the word he had been teasing you with before and you gained a kick in the face in return from one of the Orcs. Blood filled your mouth as you laughed and the warg next to you began to snarl.

“After Lord Father releases us, I’m going to kill you,” your husband told Waldreg when you were spitting the blood out of your mouth.

“Adar doesn’t even remember you two are here,” Waldreg laughed.

But you knew it was not true – you would never forget the look in Adar’s eyes at the sight of your scar. You were sure he was intrigued by you and your husband and you even had that unsettling feeling that he simply… knew who you truly were.

The Orc, still standing above you, raised his hand to strike another blow and you tensed your muscles, preparing your flesh to endure it.

“I’ll take it,” Mairon interrupted him. “Leave her, I’ll take it,” he pleaded. “She is my wife and I am responsible for her big mouth and her stunts,” he insisted.

Tears filled your eyes at that because he had begged your master the same way once after the battle you had lost – she is my wife and I am responsible for her failure. I’ll take the punishment, leave her, I beg of you.

The Orc looked at Waldreg, a little confused. But Waldreg shrugged his arms in return because it did not matter to him which one of you would be beaten – he simply enjoyed the act. Therefore, the Orc only growled at you before he approached your husband to beat him instead.

What you did not sense in all that mess was the fact Adar was standing nearby and overhearing the last few sentences, which had reminded him of the twisted couple he had known in time long gone now, yet still fresh in his memory.

Your flesh was of a human, therefore it regenerated quicker when asleep. So, some nights you and your husband allowed yourselves to drift off to the land of dreams. You had done that on the previous evening but you quickly regretted that choice because the dream you had was far from pleasant.

It was not a dream, really. It was more of a memory that you found yourself inside of once more – the long and endless road you had crawled with a bleeding wound in your chest, only to find your husband’s dead body abandoned in the fortress in the puddle of his thick, black blood.

You had sobbed and taken his cold hand into yours as you had laid upon his still chest, burying your face in the red fabric of his robe, stained with his blood now, still sensing his weak presence somewhere around the fortress but it had been ungraspable, therefore hugging his dead flesh had been all you could do. You had brushed his ginger hair one last time with a sad smile and had fallen asleep there, on top of him, sobbing and defeated. Alone.

When you opened your eyes, though, you were back to reality. And there was Adar standing above you, staring intensely. You furrowed your brows at him but he did not say anything and crouched down to remove the collar from your neck and set your hands free from the shackles before standing up again without a word. He walked over you to stand above Mairon now, waiting for him to wake up as well.

You sat up lazily, wondering what would happen now and your husband woke up as well not long after you. 

“I was in your place once,” Adar said as you watched, intrigued. Mairon was still laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “In the eldest of the Elder Days,” Adar continued. “Thirteen of us were chosen to be blessed of Morgoth’s hand with the promise of power,” he crouched down to be closer to your husband’s face.

You looked up to exchange a confused look with Waldreg and one of the Orcs standing by the door to the hut. That small string of connection between the three of you in that moment was nearly funny if the situation was not so serious.

“A new birth. I was led up to a dark and nameless peak. Chained and left with nobody to keep me company except for a vicious serpent coming to visit me sometimes,” Adar confessed and the pain in his voice was raw and authentic.

You saw something glistening in the dim light and, to your surprise, that was your husband’s tear streaming down his cheek. You understood why – the first Uruks had not been the only ones that Morgoth had been torturing. Despite being enemies with Adar, you had a strong connection with him through the suffering you all had endured back in the day from the hands of the one you all had been calling your master.

“And after what seemed endless thirst and hunger…” Adar continued his story. “I saw them. His servants’ faces. Sauron’s face… It was beautiful. And Lókë’s, too, for she followed him everywhere. Her eyes… Those were the very same eyes as of the serpent that had been keeping me company in those endless days and I realised she had been the one to join me in my misery. And until this day I do not know if it was her mercy, her sympathy or her wicked passion for witnessing somebody else’s pain.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat, stopping yourself with every fibre of your being from telling him that it had been sympathy – it had been nothing but pure sympathy and what had been his repayment? Betrayal.

Although some part of you understood his reasons, too. It had all been for his children. Perhaps one day you would understand this kind of love as well but it would require you to forever bind yourself to your physical form and you were not sure if it was a sacrifice you would ever be ready to make.

“Lókë wiped the dirt, sweat and blood off of my face. Sauron offered me wine, red as a blood moon,” Adar went on with his story. “He offered me wine and on that dark and nameless peak, I drank it. I drank it all.”

You saw your husband glancing at you with his teary eyes and now your own eyes were wet, too, after being reminded of that day.

“Your wife is no longer in chains. Your people have been set free,” Adar announced. “Now, tell me what you know of Sauron and Lókë,” he demanded and your husband moved his head up slightly as his blood-covered lips curved into a smile.

“Sauron has returned in a new form and his lover forged herself a new flesh as well,” your husband revealed. “I am not yet sure what shape they have taken.”

“Then of what use are you to me?” Adar asked, angrily, while standing up.

“I have something you don’t,” your husband teased him. “The trust of the Elves. Release me, release my wife,” he continued, “and we’ll go to them and I’ll seek Sauron out, so you can marshal your legions to destroy him.”

Long silence occurred, in which you assumed Adar was overthinking the proposition.

“We want the same thing you do, Lord Father,” you whispered, your voice nothing but a shaky breath. Adar turned around to look at you intensely and you pretended to startle a little. “We want Middle-earth to be free of evil.”

It was no lie – you wanted nothing else. You wanted this world to be a good and happy place. Healed.

Adar took a deep breath in and eventually nodded at Waldreg, who walked up to Mairon hesitantly.

“Do you vow allegiance to Adar, Lord Father of the Uruks?” He asked, giving you a quick glance before looking back at your husband.

You waited for Mairon’s decision first and you could see how much it costed him to say that word even though it was only a game you two were playing.

“Yes,” he said.

“Yes,” you followed.

“Then kneel,” Waldreg ordered. “Both of you,” he turned his head around to look at you.

You moved yourself up on trembling legs, pretending to be moved and scared. Your husband was still in shackles, therefore he struggled to get onto his knees and it pained you to watch him so humiliated. You approached him to help him but Adar extended his hand to stop you from any further movement. You froze and waited for your husband to get on his knees first before you would join him.

And when he was on his knees, you felt Waldreg hitting your back and making you fall down upon yours as well even though it was unnecessary because you planned on doing that anyway. You looked up at him with hatred.

“Now, swear it,” he ordered.

It was all a play-pretend, you had to remind yourself. Being on your knees in front of a man who had betrayed you once was so humiliating, though, that you wanted to cry for real. And something about Adar’s proud and intense gaze was telling you he truly knew who you were.

“I vow–” your husband began.

“With your head at my feet,” Adar interrupted him and you looked up at him with anger before you began to follow his order before your husband even moved, still taken aback by such a request.

“Not you,” Adar stopped you. “Him.”

You swallowed thickly and exchanged a look with your husband before he eventually gave in and laid his face on the ground in front of Adar’s boots.

“I vow to serve the Lord of Mordor,” your husband whispered. To the end of my days… and his,” he finished.

Adar laid his eyes on you now, still kneeling as your thighs trembled slightly.

“I vow to serve the Lord of Mordor,” you bowed your head, humbly. “Till death removes me from the responsibility,” you added.

Adar nodded and walked away. Waldreg freed your husband from his collar and his shackles although he did not look happy about it. When Mairon was finally free, you cupped his face and leaned in to press your forehead to his before kissing him briefly with a big smile to be able to hold him again.

You were given one black horse you had to share but you did not mind it at all as you hopped on it to sit behind your husband and wrap your arms around his waist before pressing your cheek to his shoulder blade.

Very slowly he was leading the horse out of the camp and when you were on the hill above it, you heard a scream of pain from the distance. Your husband stopped the horse as you both chuckled because it was the scream of Waldreg being eaten by the warg left behind in the hut. The one you had tamed during your stay there and now you had your revenge on the filthy human.

And soon, on all of them.

“You know,” you mumbled out.

“Hm?”

“I quite enjoy our adventures as Halbrand and Maira,” you admitted and squeezed your husband tighter.

“We have been tortured for weeks now, my love,” he pointed out with a laugh.

“I know but apart from that… There is a certain charm to it,” you explained.

“Yes, I am aware,” he admitted with a head nod and ordered the horse to move again. “However, we have a work to finish in Eregion.”

“Do you have a new name already?” You asked him, teasingly.

“Annatar, Lord of Gifts,” your husband answered. “You?”

“Fëanár,” you revealed and waited for his response. “The patron saint of the fire… to spark a brand new inspiration within Lord Celebrimbor’s forge,” you explained your choice.

“Soul of fire,” your husband hummed to himself. “Bold one. I like it,” he admitted and you smiled to yourself, hugging him tighter, proud of yourself.

Proud and happy to be with him. Wherever the road would take you two.

MASTERLIST

[thyras]

I saw that you were accepting requests and I couldn't miss this opportunity. I follow your account and I really like your writing! I thought of something like Sauron and the reader have been together since Morgoth, but with Sauron's return and his contact with Galadriel, the reader begins to be uncertain about his feelings. So when she leaves Eregion late at night, Adar finds her and takes her to his camp days before Halbrand arrives. Adar could suspect that Sauron is Halbrand and tries to use his wife as bait. But you can obviously write however you like. English is not my language, so I apologize for any mistakes! :)

It is perfectly okay!

I had a hard time thinking where I wanted to go with this, but it came to me in a dream (hehe, divine intervention), and I really went from there, honestly. I took some parts of your request and kind of morphed them a little. I hope that is okay, but the bones are still there. So sorry this took so long, though. final exams and papers are in full swing and it's taking everything out of me.

→ luminary

PAIRING → sauron | mairon | halbrand x f!Maia!reader

WORD COUNT → 4.9k words

WARNINGS → soft!sauron, lies, obsessions, manipulation, etc.

SUMMARY → you have been with sauron since he was a servant of aulë, though now centuries later you have doubts. but with doubts come dangers not even a maia can be saved from.

AUTHORS NOTE → i tried a different style of writing this as I usually write in past tense so it's probably utter garbage and does not flow properly but hey i tried. reader does have a name that yavanna gave her when she was in her service, and is referred to a few times. but I do not reference anything that would take away from the reader's perspective.

In the days before the shadow fell over the world, before the Valar waged their war on the darkness and the light of the Two Trees was lost, you walked among the Maiar as one of Yavanna's most cherished. She called you Nelyanna, for your voice carried the essence of the Music of the Ainur, coaxing flowers from the earth and bidding forests to rise in splendor. Your song was the song of growing things, of roots and leaves that drank deeply of the light, and your heart burned fiercely for the beauty of Arda.

As a servant of Yavanna, you often found yourself in the halls of Aulë, her husband. Among the clamor of hammers and the blaze of forges, you first saw him: Mairon, golden and shining, whose mastery of craft and subtlety of thought stood unmatched. He was unlike any you had ever known. Where others toiled contentedly, he sought perfection, driven by a restless ambition that burned brighter than the forge-fire.

At first, you admired him from a distance, enchanted by the elegance of his work, the way his hands shaped metal into wonders. His voice, when he spoke, was a low and captivating murmur, like a storm on the horizon. But his mind held you, sharp and vivid, full of visions that reached far beyond the present. He spoke of perfecting the world's flaws, of reshaping Arda into something eternal.

You did not see the danger in his words nor the shadow that began to coil around him. How could you? Your heart was so full of faith in the light of creation that you believed in the goodness of all things. Slowly, you came to know him, and your presence seemed to soothe the storm within him. Together, you spoke of creation, life's wild and untamed beauty, and how it might be ordered into something more significant.

What began as fascination became something deeper. You felt it in every note of your song, a pull stronger than you could name. When he spoke, his gaze pierced through you like sunlight breaking through a forest canopy, warm and unwavering. In him, you saw not only his brilliance but a yearning that mirrored your own: a longing to create, understand, and belong.

But whispers of discontent began to ripple through the halls of the Valar. You noticed the change in him, how his light grew darker, his ambition sharper. He spoke of Morgoth, the fallen Vala who sought dominion over Arda, and his words carried a dangerous allure. Mairon did not see Morgoth as a tyrant but as a visionary, someone bold enough to challenge the flaws of Eru's design.

Others turned from him, their hearts heavy with fear and mistrust. Yet you could not. You had seen the light in him, the brilliance beneath the shadow, and you clung to the hope that it might prevail. He was your sun, and you, a flower bending toward his radiance.

When he made his choice—when Mairon turned to Morgoth and the dark halls of Angband—he came to you. His voice was soft, his words entreating, as he spoke of a new order, a world remade.

A power over the flesh.

He asked you to choose: to remain untouched and safe among the green fields of Yavanna or to follow him into the unknown.

Your heart wavered. Could you leave the forests, the meadows, the songs of life you had nurtured? But then you looked at him, at the fire in his eyes, and you could not turn away. You told yourself you might save him, that your light might temper his growing darkness.

And so you left. You turned from the green fields and walked into the shadow, following him. The air grew colder with every step, and the light dimmer. Yet you hoped, still you sang, and you believed, even as the weight of the dark pressed on your spirit.

In time, the world would remember Mairon by a name spoken in fear and hatred, but your story would fade like a forgotten note, lost to history. Still, somewhere deep inside you, even as the dark wrapped tighter around you, you would remember the sun and the green fields of your beginnings.

And you would wonder if the flower you had once been might ever bloom again.

The golden afternoon light bathed Eregion in a warm glow, and its white towers rose proudly against the mountains. The city thrummed with life, its forges alive with the fires of creation and the voices of Elves. You lingered at the city's edge, your gaze drifting to the distant horizon, where the mountains seemed to touch the sky. There, your thoughts often wandered, searching for answers to a question you dared not voice aloud.

You felt an unease deep within you, a faint pull like a thread tugging at your spirit. For weeks, you had sensed something shifting, something drawing nearer. It was not fear but anticipation, a quiet certainty that he was coming. You could not say how you knew, only that you did. Mairon. Sauron. Whatever guise he had taken, the thread that connected you had begun to hum once more.

The sound of horns at the gates startled you from your thoughts. You turned toward the commotion, your heart quickening. A flurry of hooves approached the gatehouse, the figures indistinct against the shimmering heat of the sun. As they approached, you saw an Elf clad in battle-worn armor leading the way, her golden hair catching the sunlight. She supported a figure as she helped them off the horse, his weight leaning heavily against her before guards moved to assist her. You felt the air shift even at a distance, and your breath caught.

It was him.

Your feet moved before your mind could catch up, carrying you toward the gates. Elves gathered, curious but cautious, as the group passed through the threshold. Galadriel—the Lady of Light herself, though you had never seen her before—moved to speak with Lord Celebrimbor and Elrond, though you could not hear what the three were saying. The coppery-haired man stumbled, barely able to stand, his tunic torn and stained with blood. You hesitated in the shadow of the crowd, your heart pounding.

Celebrimbor said something to the guards that was inaudible to you, but the guards moved to follow his orders, though you remained frozen. His face was obscured, turned away from you as they carried him into the forge, but you knew. You would always know. The air around him was heavy, resonating with the faintest trace of power—perhaps diminished but unmistakable. You stepped forward, your hands trembling as they disappeared behind the doors.

Galadriel turned her gaze to you briefly, her eyes sharp but puzzled. "Do you know him?" she asked, her voice curious but wary as you walked over to the group.

You hesitated, the words caught in your throat. Finally, you shook your head. "No," you lied softly. "But I… I can help. If you'll allow it."

She studied you for a moment longer, then nodded. "Come, then."

You followed them into the chamber, your thoughts spinning. The room was quiet, the golden light of a single lantern casting long shadows on the walls. They laid him on a low bed, his breathing shallow but steady. Galadriel spoke briefly with the healers, her voice low and firm, before she turned back to you.

"Stay with him," she said, her tone gentler now. "He may wake disoriented. It is better if there is someone here."

You nodded, unable to meet her eyes. She lingered a moment longer, then left, her presence fading like a beam of light withdrawing from the room as she spoke with Elrond quietly outside the door's threshold. When they finally departed, you exhaled, the tension in your chest easing slightly.

You moved to his side, kneeling by the bed. His face was pale beneath the grime and blood, his features softer than you remembered. His manly face almost resembled the one you had met him with. Though with this face, stubble traveled across his chin and cheeks, and he held less of that glow he had. But it was still there, deep inside, and only for you to see.

The years—or perhaps the ages—had worn on him, stripping away the veneer of power he had once carried so effortlessly. And yet, even now, he was unmistakable. Your fingers hovered above his face, trembling as you brushed the damp coppery strand from his brow.

"You found your way back," you whispered, barely audible. "I always knew you would."

He stirred faintly, his head turning slightly toward you. His eyelids fluttered but did not open, his breathing hitching before settling again. You stayed where you were, your heart aching with the weight of centuries. The bond between you hummed faintly, a reminder of what had been, of the light you had seen in him even when all others saw only shadow.

The door creaked open behind you, and you turned to see one of the healers entering with fresh linens and salves. She looked at you briefly but said nothing, her gaze curious but kind. You rose and stepped back, allowing her to tend to him, though your eyes never left his face.

"Will he recover?" you asked quietly.

The healer nodded. "His injuries are severe, but he is strong. He will heal with time."

You nodded, relief and trepidation warring within you. As the healer worked, you moved to the corner of the room, where you could watch without drawing attention. When she left, promising to return later, you stepped forward again, your hand brushing against his. His skin was warm, his pulse steady beneath your fingertips.

For hours, you stayed by his side, unwilling to leave. The city beyond carried on as it always did, but for you, the world had narrowed to this room, to the fragile rise and fall of his chest. You did not know what he would say when he woke or if he would even remember you. But you had waited for this moment for centuries and would not falter now.

When his eyes finally opened, softly green like the pastures you used to tend in Aman and piercing even in their weakness, you felt your breath catch. His gaze found yours, and for a fleeting moment, recognition flickered there; even in the deepest of guises, he could tell it was you: his heart, his light in the darkness.

"Nelyanna," he rasped, his voice rough but unmistakable.

You smiled faintly, your hand tightening around his. "Yes," you said softly. "Nelyanna."

And though the shadow of his past loomed over you both, the thread that bound you felt whole again for the first time in ages.

The days after his arrival were a haze of whispered tension and unanswered questions. Mairon—no, Halbrand, as he called himself now—recovered swiftly under the care of the Elves, his wounds healing faster than they had any right to. He was different now, quieter, his once-burning ambition masked behind a veneer of humility. But you saw the familiar glint in his eyes when he spoke to Celebrimbor, the calculated precision in his words. He was a master of deception, as he had always been.

What unnerved you most, however, was the way his gaze lingered on Galadriel in those days that followed.

You told yourself it was nothing. After all, she had brought him to Eregion. It was only natural that he would be drawn to her—a powerful Elf whose light radiated an intensity few could match. But you knew him too well to ignore the subtle signs: the way his eyes followed her in the forge or courtyard and how his tone shifted when he spoke of her, tinged with something you could not name.

At first, you tried to dismiss your fears. You reminded yourself of the bond between you, the centuries you had waited for, the sacrifices you had made to follow him into shadow. But as the days passed, the unease in your heart grew. You began to see the pattern: how he subtly positioned himself to be near her and encouraged her trust. His words were carefully chosen, always flattering but never overt, weaving himself into her thoughts like a strand of her light.

One evening, as the city settled into twilight, you found him alone in the courtyard underneath one of the lone trees in the city. He was seated on a low stone bench, his face tilted toward the sky as though lost in thought. The sight of him, so seemingly serene, only deepened your resolve.

"You’re spending a great deal of time with her," you said, your voice soft but firm.

He turned at the sound of your voice, his expression unreadable. For a moment, he said nothing, then gestured for you to sit beside him. You hesitated before complying, the tension between you as palpable as the golden light fading from the horizon.

"She interests me," he said finally, his tone even. "Her strength, clarity—It is rare to see such light untainted."

Your chest tightened. "And what do you intend to do with it?" you asked, trying to keep the tremor from your voice. "You and I both know you do not fixate on things without a reason."

He studied you, his green eyes sharp and piercing. "You think I have ill intent," he said, almost accusing.

"I think you have a purpose," you replied. "You always do."

He smiled faintly, a flicker of the charm that had once captivated you. "Perhaps I do," he admitted. "Galadriel’s light is—unique. It is a beacon, a force capable of uniting even the most divided hearts. It is a light this world sorely needs."

"And you think to wield it," you said, your voice laced with disbelief. "You would use her for our plans."

"I would heal Middle-earth," he said, his voice low but fervent. "Look around you, Nelyanna. This world is broken and fractured by conflict and mistrust. Galadriel has the power to inspire and lead. With her, we could bring order to the chaos."

His conviction sent a shiver down your spine. "She’s not a tool, Mairon," you said, using his true name deliberately and sharply. "She is not something for you to mold into our vision."

He flinched at the name but recovered quickly, his expression hardening. "And what would you have me do?" he asked, his tone bitter. "Stand idle while this world crumbles? I see a chance to make things right, to shape Arda into what it was always meant to be. Would you deny me that?"

"That’s not what this is about," you said, your voice rising. "This is about you. You can tell yourself it’s for Middle-earth, but I know you. This is your ambition, your obsession. And now you’ve turned it on her, seeking power when you already have such power by your side."

For a moment, heavy and unyielding silence hung between you. He looked at you, his eyes filled with anger and something deeper—raw, almost pleading.

"You think I don’t care for you," he said quietly. "That you’ve waited all this time for nothing."

Your throat tightened. "What I think is that you’ve forgotten what truly matters," you said. "You are so consumed by your need to control and shape that you cannot see the cost." Tears threatened to fall now. "My love, Mairon, it is the cost."

He reached for your hand, his grip firm but not unkind. "You matter to me," he said, his voice softer now. "You always have. But this—this is something greater. Something I cannot ignore."

You pulled your hand away, the distance between you feeling like an unbridgeable chasm. "If you go down this path, there may be no coming back," you said, your voice trembling. "You think you can use Galadriel’s light without corrupting it, but you’ve forgotten the shadow you carry. It will twist everything it touches, including her." You pause. “Look what it did to me.”

His expression darkened, and for a moment, you saw the flicker of the Sauron you had once known, the master of ambition and cunning. "You underestimate me," he said, his tone cold. "And her."

You rose to your feet, your heart heavy. "Perhaps I do," you said. "But I will not stand by and watch you lose yourself again. Not this time."

As you turned to leave, his voice stopped you. "You won’t leave me," he said, a note of desperation beneath his words. "You never have."

You paused your back to him, tears threatening to spill again. "Perhaps I should have," you whispered before walking into the growing shadows.

Behind you, the garden fell silent except for the faint rustle of leaves in the evening breeze. And as you left him there, you wondered if, this time, the thread that bound you might finally snap.

Eregion was quieter now, but it felt like a shadow had passed over the city, dimming its light. You walked through the streets, the familiar paths that had once comforted you, now stirring only heartache. His presence lingered here, like the echo of a melody you couldn’t forget, no matter how desperately you wanted to.

He had left. After revealing himself to Galadriel, after his ambitions had been laid bare, he had vanished as suddenly as he had come. His departure had been like a blade to your heart, not because you hadn’t expected it, but because it solidified what you had long feared: Mairon, the husband you had loved, was gone, replaced by Sauron’s consuming obsession with power and control.

You had stayed for a time, hoping he might return and seek you out, not as Sauron but as the man you once knew. But he hadn’t. And now you could no longer bear to remain. His shadow hung too heavy here, his presence a ghost you could not escape.

It was time to leave.

You stood on the outskirts of the city, where the wildflowers grew untamed. The soft hum of your song rose on the breeze, a farewell melody. You had sung this tune countless times over the ages, but now it carried a new weight, a finality you had never felt before. You knelt among the flowers, your fingers brushing their delicate petals as if saying goodbye to the life you had built here.

"I thought you might come to your senses," you whispered into the stillness, your voice breaking. "I thought you might remember who you were. Who we once were."

The breeze carried no reply, only the faint rustle of leaves. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat. He wouldn’t come. He had made his choice, and you had made yours.

As the sun descended below the horizon, you rose to your feet and turned toward the road away from Eregion. You didn't have a clear destination in mind, only the need to leave. You couldn’t follow him anymore—not down his chosen path. His quest to dominate, to twist Middle-earth to his will, was one you could no longer justify, no matter how deeply you had once believed in that path.

But leaving wasn’t easy. Eregion had been a sanctuary where you had tried to find solace and clung to the last threads of hope for your husband’s redemption. Walking away felt like tearing a piece of your dark soul from your body, but you knew it was the only way forward. If you stayed, his shadow would consume you as it had consumed him, and you would fall into the same madness.

As you began to walk, the soft crunch of your footsteps on the dirt road filled the silence. Each step felt heavier than the last, but you pressed on. The road stretched before you, winding into the distance, and you didn’t look back.

You had just passed the last of Eregion’s outlying homes when a voice stopped you. It was warm and even. There was no hint of malicious intent, only the warmth you craved from him.

"You’re leaving."

You froze, your breath catching. Slowly, you turned, and there he was. He stood a short distance away, his shadowy figure watching you, the evening light casting his face in sharp relief. His eyes burned with the same fire you had always known, but now there was something else there—something raw, almost desperate.

"I am," you said, your voice steady despite the storm raging in your chest. "There’s nothing left for me here."

He took a step closer, his movements slow, measured. "You can’t mean that," he said, his tone quiet but firm. "We’ve been through too much—"

"You left," you interrupted, your voice rising. "You left, Mairon. You revealed yourself to Galadriel, exposed your plans, and vanished without a word. What did you expect me to do? Stay here, waiting for you to return so you can pull me into whatever scheme you’ve concocted next?"

He flinched at the sharpness of your words, but he didn’t look away. "You don’t understand," he said, his voice softening. "Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve worked for—it’s for us. For our redemption. I need power to achieve it. Galadriel—her light—she could have been—"

"Don’t," you said, cutting him off. "Don’t try to justify it to me. Not anymore."

You stepped closer to him, your hands trembling at your sides. "I loved you, Mairon," you said, your voice breaking. "I loved you so much that I followed you into shadow, believing in your vision, believing in you. But I can’t do it anymore. Not when your vision means a web of schemes that involve taking something you already have by your side. I was your light for ages, Mairon, but I guess your darkness dimmed me out too much."

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might argue, might try to pull you back into his web of ambition. But then his shoulders sagged, and the fire in his eyes dimmed. "I never wanted to lose you," he said quietly.

"Then you shouldn’t have lost our vision," you replied, the words heavy with sorrow.

For a long moment, the two of you stood in silence, the space between you filled with all the things left unsaid. Finally, you turned away, the ache in your chest nearly unbearable.

"Goodbye, Mairon," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I hope one day you find what you’re looking for."

You didn’t wait for a response. You walked away, your steps resolute, even as tears blurred your vision. The road ahead was uncertain, but it was yours, unshadowed by his ambitions.

And though your heart ached with every step, you knew you had made the right choice. No matter how deeply intertwined, some paths were never meant to be walked together.

The woods outside Eregion were dense and quiet; the only sounds were the rustle of leaves in the evening breeze and the crunch of your boots on the dirt path. The road was lonely, stretching far into the wilderness, but the solitude was a balm to your frayed spirit. Every step away from Eregion, away from him, felt like tearing yourself apart, but it was a pain you had chosen. It was better this way.

Or so you told yourself.

The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the forest floor, when the attack came. It was silent at first—too silent. The birds stopped singing, the wind stilled, and an oppressive weight settled in the air. Your instincts screamed, and you reached for the dagger at your belt, but it was too late. The first blow came from behind, knocking you to the ground. Hands grabbed at you, rough and clawed, dragging you to your knees.

Orcs. At least a dozen of them, their blackened armor blending with the shadows of the trees. Their eyes glinted with cruel delight as they bound your hands and stripped you of your weapon. You struggled, but their strength was overwhelming, their snarling laughter mocking your defiance.

"Leave me," you hissed, your voice sharp despite the fear rising in your chest. "You’ve got no quarrel with me."

One of the orcs leaned close, its breath hot and foul. "It's not us you should be worried about," it sneered. "He’s waiting for you."

Before you could ask who, a burlap sack was pulled over your head, plunging you into darkness.

When the sack was removed, you found yourself in a clearing lit by the orange glow of a fire. Orcs milled about, their guttural voices and harsh laughter filling the air. The largest of them loomed nearby, sharpening crude blades, while others eyed you with suspicion or amusement. But it was the figure seated by the fire that drew your attention.

Adar.

He sat calmly, his face illuminated by the flickering flames. His features were sharp, almost elven, but twisted with a darkness that seemed to radiate from him. His eyes, cold and calculating, locked onto yours as the orcs shoved you forward, forcing you to kneel before him.

"So," he said, his voice smooth and low, "I see our paths have crossed again, my lady."

You glared at him, refusing to show fear. "If you mean to kill me, get on with it," you said, your voice steady despite the rapid beat of your heart.

Adar chuckled, a sound devoid of warmth. "Kill you? No. You are far more valuable alive."

He leaned forward, studying you as though you were a puzzle to be solved. "You carry the stench of him," he said, his lip curling. "Sauron. Mairon. Halbrand. Whatever name he uses now. You’ve been bound to him longer than I imagine, Nelyanna,”

You stiffened at his words, your fists clenching against the bindings. Adar smiles weakly at you as he knows he has broken your facade by calling you by who he knew you as. The fallen goddess, forever bound to her shadow. You had been there when he struck that blow; you had watched as he murdered the being you loved. Stood idly by as your beloved husband choked on his ambitions and his black blood.

Finally, you regained your voice and gazed into your captor's eyes. "I have nothing to do with him anymore," you said. “I left him. I want no part of his plans."

Adar’s expression darkened, his eyes narrowing. "You may think you’ve left him, but you don’t understand what you are to him, do you?" He rose to his feet, his presence commanding as he paced around you. "You are a thread in his tapestry, a piece of his grand design. Even now, I can feel his faint pull through you."

His words sent a chill down your spine, but you refused to let him see your fear, for Maiar were never supposed to fear anything less than them. "If you think you can use me to reach him, you’ll be disappointed," you said, your voice firm. "He doesn’t care about me anymore."

Adar stopped, his gaze piercing. "Oh, he cares," he said. "You are his weakness, his flaw. For all his cunning, for all his power, he cannot sever his connection to you. And that is why you are so important."

He crouched before you, his face inches from yours. "I will use you, yes," he said, his voice soft but deadly. "Not as a tool for his schemes, but as bait. He will come for you. He cannot resist. And when he does…" His eyes gleamed with malice. "I will end him. For good."

Your heart raced, your mind spinning with the implications of his words. Adar was no mere villain; he was driven by hatred, by a desire to see Sauron’s end at any cost. And now, you were caught in the middle of his web.

"You’re wrong," you said, though your voice wavered.

Adar’s smile was cold. "We shall see," he said. He rose, gesturing to the orcs. "Cage her. Ensure she is watched at all times. For she is just as deceitful as he is."

They grabbed you roughly, dragging you toward a crude iron cage at the edge of the camp. As the door slammed shut behind you, you sank to the ground, your thoughts racing. You had left Eregion to escape him, to free yourself from the shadow of his ambitions. And yet, here you were, once again, a pawn in the game that Sauron’s existence seemed to cast upon the world.

You stared out of the bars of your cage, the orcs sharpening their weapons and preparing for the battle that would ensue. And in the quiet of the night, you whispered a plea, not to the Valar nor the stars, but to the man you had once loved.

"Don’t come for me," you murmured, tears slipping down your cheeks. "Please, don’t."

[elronds-meleth-nin]

Never Too Late - Part Two: Agh Burzum-Ishi Krimpatul

I know the first part of this fic was a little bit weird, but hopefully things will make more sense with this part. Thank you all for putting up with my strange fic experimentation! Given what has happened and this fic's overarching theme of hope (which will become clear soon, I swear) I want to continue this fic before all others. This, of all things, needs to see the light of day.

Part One here.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Adar (RoP) x Maia!Reader

[A/N: Suggestive positions/actions and nudity in this chapter, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of scars, mentions of torture, nudity, description of the aftermath of flogging (not terribly graphic but still enough that I think a warning is necessary), mentions of blood, Morgoth is his own warning, as is Sauron, kissing, angst, hurt/comfort, I swear this will have a happy ending at some point, idk what I'm doing tbh but I'm trying.

~*~

Elf he was, but Uruk he became. Ruined, tortured, and scarred, the Uruk with no name was promised one by his master. 'Adar' he swore he'd be called. 'Father.' The Uruk had wanted children, even if he'd guarded the secret of the woman he loved with his life. He buried her name so deep within his heart that he nearly forgot it himself.

But, Morgoth never pulled it from him. Only his desire to have a family. To have children. He had seen nearly all of the Uruk's heart, both dark and light, but not the small crevice in which he'd hidden his love.

At the start, he did not understand how Morgoth planned to give him that which he desired, but he'd been foolish enough to choose this path. He had to see it through, no matter the end. It had, undoubtedly, cost him the respect of his lady, so however Morgoth chose to fulfill his wish, he prayed that it would be worth such a sacrifice. But, in his heart, he knew it never would be.

Having been robbed of his lady, the Uruk who would become Adar stewed in self-loathing. He accepted his master's discipline - regardless of the method, hook, cane, or whip - without protest, uttering barely a sound. He believed that he deserved this pain for bringing sadness to she whom he loved best. He wept in the shadows, but not all of it was from Morgoth's torture. The beatings he could endure, but the loss of her warmth, her light...that was the pain that changed him.

To the rest of those in Utumno, the dark lord's stronghold in the far north, Adar presented the façade of strength unbreaking and cold ruthlessness. But, ever in his heart there dwelt a love so fierce it threatened to split him open every time he thought of her. Across the long centuries as he was molded by his master's hand, Adar never forgot who he had been or the light he'd felt streaming over his skin beside the riverbank.

The light was meager in that dark stronghold, however, and soon the feeling was little more than a far distant memory which comforted him through the horrors. Then, it was bolstered by the small cries of the first Uruk children to be born. They might not have been the family he desired to have with his lady, but they were children, young and as yet innocent - precious gifts. Despite anything that Morgoth or Sauron said, he knew his children were worthy of the breath of life, and he would protect them accordingly.

Then, Morgoth ordered the Moriondor to prove their loyalty through suffering. Many tasks he set them, each leaving them more scarred and damaged than before. The final of which was to be carried out atop the dark peak jutting up from the barren wastes of Utumno.

They were led to the top, and each of the thirteen was forced to their knees, arms pulled back at a painful angle, and chained that way. Their clothing was stripped of them beforehand, baring them and rendering them vulnerable to the elements. And thus, they were left.

Hunger tore at them, the shadows writhed mockingly in the unending, suffocating loneliness. As days passed, one by one, the Moriondor cried out for mercy, fearing they'd been forgotten and left to die. Many wept, others screamed out in terror or anger, but not Adar.

Silently, he bore this latest torture. His shoulders protested, shooting agony down his arms, neck, and back at the terrible angle in which they were stuck. Yet, still he remained silent. Sleep came in fits and starts, jolts of pain waking him with a gasp before he became anywhere near fully rested.

If he died there, he thought, it would serve him right for ever leaving that beautiful spot beside the river. He longed to say his lady's name, but he did not wish for the dark lord to hear it or for her to be anywhere near this wretched place.

Days became a week, then two, after which he was so exhausted that he lost track of time. Finally, one day, rain began to fall, but it was different from that which he had felt before. It did not burn his skin. The drops were full of light, gentle and welcoming, an even larger wave of which washed over Adar's face, temporarily soothing the aches from the dark lord's latest round of punishment. The scars that were not yet fully healed - due to Morgoth's dark magic - stopped stinging, and he drew an easier breath than he had in...he could not remember how long it had been.

Lifting his head to find the source of both the rain and the light, he saw the impossible.

He saw her.

Dropping to her knees before him, the Maia from the forest - his muse, his lady, his dearest joy - looked up at him with sadness flooding her eyes. She could not be real. This was not real. Morgoth must have finally broken through that final stronghold in his heart.

But...if there was even the slightest chance that she was truly here, he had to warn her away. She would be in danger if she remained here.

"My lady," he rasped in a voice torn and tattered from screams and dehydration, "you should not be here in the darkness."

"Nor should you, my wordsmith." With a mournful smile, she reached carefully forward and cupped his cheeks. His breath caught in his throat and a sob escaped in its place.

Was she truly there? Nothing so gentle had touched him in years. Neither Morgoth nor his lieutenants would allow that. She had to be real, because all of the other illusions placed before him had felt beautiful yet hollow.

Her touch was warm and solid, safe and loving. Familiar. Perfect. Wondrous.

At first, looking at her had taken effort, as if her light was almost too much for his dark-conditioned eyes, but as time passed, seconds colliding before his eyes, he found her visage easier to behold. Even if it had not, he would never have looked away. Not from her. He had adored her for so long, he'd clung to the hope of seeing her again, even from afar for so many years that he was certain looking away would kill him.

"The others will see you. He will see you," Adar warned. "Flee while you can. Please, my dearest lady, you must do this for me. I am beyond hope. Even my blood has been infiltrated by shadows. It is too late for me, but you can still save yourself. The knowledge that you are alive, walking along the river in the noonday sun is enough to sustain me to whatever end I shall meet."

"None are beyond hope," she promised skimming her thumbs so lightly over his cheeks. Their path brought relief to the raised, puffy skin that would soon be thick, callused skin. "You need not fear for me. The others cannot see me, nor can Morgoth. The rain conceals me from their sight."

Adar's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Then, how...? How am I able to see you? I have experienced the same darkness that they have." His lady smiled indulgently at his question.

"Because your light has not dimmed completely. It takes a great deal more to reignite a fire than it does to stoke the embers of one into a roaring flame. This rain is infused with light. It blinds the darkness. He cannot tame you any more than he can me, my brave poet," she murmured earnestly.

Her words stirred the hope that he'd thought long dead in his breast, and a single tear trickled down his cheek - all that his body could produce in his current state. Without a moment's hesitation, she leaned forward and kissed it away as if she had done so thousands of times.

He did not deserve this kindness. He'd been such a fool. He should never have left the river. He should never have looked into the shadows.

He never should have left her.

"I can take you away from him," she began as she leaned forward far enough for their foreheads to touch. "I can take you away from this terrible place, but only if you ask. We cannot intercede in matters which do not directly relate to our missions to such an extent without a direct request. You must desire it."

When she pulled back far enough to search his face, pain was written all over him. He wanted to say yes, to give her the request, but he could not. The Uruk shook his head.

"I must accept the consequences of my actions. I chose this. I began down this path, and now I must walk to its end, whatever that might be," he murmured, and just as all those years ago, he could see agony in her eyes. He attempted to soothe it the only way he knew how. "I have found a name, melda heri. 'Adar.'"

A sweet, wet smile stretched her lips.

"Adar," she breathed, and he could not help the feeling of anticipation that thrummed through him. It felt so right for her to call him that. He savored the feelings she'd inspired within him. She laid a hand over her heart and bowed her head. "Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo, heru Adar."

Though a few tears had trickled down her cheeks, she looked at him with such warmth that he thought his heart may burst.

"If you will not allow me to take you away from here," she began, caressing his cheeks, "then, please, let me do something smaller for you."

Unable to form words beyond the lump in his throat, Adar nodded his head. Wordlessly, she caught raindrops in her cupped palms, then blew into the pooled liquid until it began to glow, murmuring into it words which he could not understand. They did, however, sound familiar...like those which he'd spoken by the river so many years ago. Only when the water glowed as bright as daylight did she lift it to his lips and urge him to drink.

Adar obeyed without question, and as it trickled down his throat, he was filled with a warmth which he had not felt since those days spent together by the river.

"Might I ask what that was?" He inquired when it was gone. His voice still sounded raspy, but it was less gravel and more velvet - closer to what it had been before Morgoth. Speaking hurt less.

"Cauma," she whispered, laying a hand over his breast. Protection. His heart thrummed beneath his skin, but unlike so many years ago, it pumped black blood. Nevertheless, it responded to her, beating harder, stronger, more assuredly than before. "Protection that not even Morgoth can take from you."

"Thank you," he breathed. The words alone could never be enough. He wondered whether she knew how much he loved her.

Her lips met the corner of his mouth, and Adar's eyes fluttered shut.

"You do not need my protection, but you will always have it," she promised as she looked into his eyes one last time and stood. "You need only call my name and I will come. Never forget, Adar: you are stronger than any of them will ever know. You will see me again ere long. Do not give in, and do not forget who you are."

And before he could tell her that she was more lovely than anything under or amongst the stars, she was gone, borne away by the wind and rain amidst which she had arrived. Adar allowed himself to weep silently at the loss of her, but he was still dehydrated enough that no more tears fell.

He pulled himself together after several long moments, locking away his feelings as they had been before, so that neither Morgoth nor his lieutenants would know of his love for her.

Several days later, when Sauron finally came for them all, he looked down at the Moriondor one by one and asked them questions in a voice too low for the others to hear until it was their turn. Adar looked up as his master's lieutenant stepped before him, bearing a black, metal goblet.

"There was rain a few days ago," he began in that same low voice. "Did anything about it seem...unusual? Did anything or anyone appear to you amidst it?"

Adar knew immediately that Sauron meant his lady. How could he not? Regardless, he did what he always did when he guarded that last private bastion of his heart. He steeled his nerve and looked into the eyes of the deceiver.

"No. There was nothing more than poison rain," he replied in his dehydration-ravaged rasp of a voice. Every syllable should have hurt, but it did not, nor did he look away from Sauron's face. He did not flinch from the evil before him, daring it to call him a liar. If he received a punishment for hiding knowledge of her existence from the darkness, so be it. She was worth it. She was worth more than his life ever was.

With the snap of his fingers, however, Sauron released his bonds. The chains fell away with a loud, metallic clank, and Adar collapsed forward. His arms had been held at such an extreme angle for so many days that at first he could not move them. With patience and no small amount of pain, he managed to get to his knees. When he straightened, Adar found Sauron offering him the goblet.

"Drink. You have earned it," he said in that saccharine voice. The wine was as red as a blood moon. Almost too red.

On that dark and nameless peak, Adar drank it all down to the last drop. He relished it, though the taste was foul like everything else in this horrid land.

As he and the others followed Sauron down from the top of the mountain, he allowed himself the smallest moment to contemplate what she'd said. If he truly possessed strength unknown to the forces of darkness, then he would keep that knowledge a secret for as long as he could. He would not disappoint her by showing his hand too early.

--

After that fateful reunion, Adar's lady returned to him several times, shrouded by that same light-filled rain, or mist when they were in the subterranean parts of Utumno. Their meetings were short, but so desperately needed if their physical closeness was anything by which to judge. Many times they huddled together in out of the way passages and little known crevices.

Over time, he came to know that she was more than one of the Maia yet less than one of the Valar. She'd earned her own title: the Lady of Reflections. Shining light into the dark parts of one's soul and helping the viewer to learn from what they saw, she'd earned the respect of leaders from nearly every race in Middle Earth. Dwarves called her friend, Elves listened to her council with measured wisdom, and Men...well, as Men were more corruptible than others, they often feared her as much as they valued her advice.

No wonder Adar had felt as though she could see the depths of his fëa! The day she revealed to him the facts of her nature, he'd looked away from her, ashamed of what she must see within him. The Uruk surely disgusted her, or so he thought. Gently, she had pulled him into a hug, whispering reassurances against his neck as if she actually cared about someone as broken as he.

He did not pull away, though. Adar was not strong enough for that. He needed her, no matter how horrid he might be to her. She called him beautiful and gentle, and though he did not take those words to heart, her attempt to make him feel better still forced a blush onto his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears.

She laid soft kisses across his burning skin and called him sweet, which only made his reaction more pronounced. Thankfully, she'd allowed him to hide his face in the crook of her neck.

Those moments were peppered through the decades, brief, pleasant memories with which Adar sustained himself. Not long after that night on the peak, however, the War of Wrath began, and their meetings became more sporadic.

The air and ground shook with the rage of the Valar as they fought their enemy upon every front. From Utumno, Morgoth's armies made of monsters, Balrogs, unnamed evils, and Uruks poured forth. Morgoth never seemed to care for the fates of Adar's children, although truthfully, he never expected the dark lord to. He'd used torture to create them, so what would their pain mean to him?

After a particularly brutal loss, Adar took the punishment meant for his children. Morgoth had blamed them, though the loss was not their fault, and Adar could not let them face the horror of their master's wroth. Stepping bravely forward, he claimed responsibility for their actions as both their commander and their father. He insisted that he, instead, should take their punishment.

He expected to be killed for such insolence, but Morgoth had something more sadistic in mind.

Adar was stripped, flogged until his already-scarred back was in tatters, paraded through the camp in shame, and tossed upon the ground before his tent. He couldn't remember doing it, but he managed to crawl his way to his sleep roll and collapse onto his front. It could have taken minutes or hours, but he managed it. His eyes shut, and he did not expect to open them again. The pain radiating through Adar's back kept him from sleep, but he did slip into a deep, nearly meditative state.

Tears dripped slowly down his cheeks, and in a breath he expected to be his last, he whispered her name - his lady's name. He'd kept it locked up so tightly in his chest that this utterance carried more weight than even that of his love for her. Even if he could not see her again before the end, he could at least savor the taste of her name one last time. Would she ever know that his last thoughts were of her?

He should have told her how much he loved her before all of this began. Coward. He was a foolish Elf, then a cowardly Uruk. There was so much he'd never done.

As he remembered the river, the poetry, and the light of her eyes upon the peak of the desolate mountain upon which she'd found him, he lost consciousness.

--

His call did not seem real at first. A whisper across miles and consciousness, Adar's voice had sounded weak - a barely there plea for help. She'd been taking counsel with her father, the Lord of the Tides, when she heard his voice.

She did not hesitate, leaving in the middle of a sentence with barely an apology. Her rain fell with a vengeance when she entered Morgoth's encampment, creating muddy puddles in the trenches and cart ruts. Her armor gleamed in the darkness above her dress, her boots leaving behind nary a footprint in her wake.

Very few Uruks could see her to begin with, and all who did that day saw an incalculable rage in her eyes as she stalked through the lines, looking for their Lord Father. One very brave soul made his way to her and bowed low, stopping her in her tracks.

"C-Can I help you, my lady?" He asked, and she cocked her head curiously.

"What is your name?" Calm and soothing, her voice alleviated some of his fears as he straightened his posture. No wonder Adar never refused her company when she appeared in their camp.

"Gulug, my lady," he said looking upon her with wonder. He'd never seen eyes that gleamed and glowed like hers. The Uruk removed the cloth covering his head, clutching it between his clawed fingers like a Man would with his hat.

"It is an honor to meet you. Would you take me to Adar? It is urgent."

The Uruk acquiesced without hesitation, bowing again slightly before leading her toward the Moriondor's tent.

"I should warn you, my lady. The dark lord was not happy. He was going to take out his anger on us, but Lord Father drew his gaze away," Gulug muttered as they shuffled through the gloom. Shame filled his voice. "He took the punishment for us."

The Maia placed her hand gently upon the Uruk's shoulder when they reached their destination.

"Your Lord Father loves you very much. Please, for Adar's sake, do not tell anyone that I was here," she murmured, and because her gaze was so earnest, Gulug agreed easily. She began to move away, but he caught her hand in his, making her turn back to look at him curiously.

"Who are you, my lady?" He asked, and she offered him a small smile.

"The Lady of Reflections. A friend who now owes you a debt," she answered. "Should you or your descendants need assistance, they need only mention your name. If it is within my power, I shall help. You will know when the time is right."

Gulug released her arm and bowed low, thanking her several times before she disappeared into Adar's tent. The rain felt much more welcoming when he'd met its maker, even if its presence never failed to send Morgoth into a rage since he could not perceive its source.

--

When he woke, Adar believed that he was dead. How could he be alive after what he'd experienced? And why would gentle fingers be skimming through his hair, smoothing away the tangles and lingering upon the nape of his neck?

Fear, belated yet potent, stirred within his breast, urging him to try and lift his aching body out of harm's way. When he began to move, his back protested instantly, and he whimpered in pain.

"Stay still. Moving will only hurt you," a voice murmured above him, and Adar's eyes flew open. Beside him knelt the Maia with whom he'd fallen so desperately in love. "I have not been here long. You called out to me so faintly, I thought I would be too late."

Adar struggled to make his tongue form the correct words.

"I...am still alive?" He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but from the sad expression that crossed his lady's face, he knew he had failed.

"You are, and for that I give my most heartfelt thanks to the Valar," she answered as her fingertips traced the sharp curve of his cheekbone and jawline.

"I am sorry. I should not have...You do not deserve to see such carnage," Adar rasped as regret twisted within him. "You are made for sunlight and trees and dancing, not watching corrupted beings suffer. Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive." Her voice was so warm and steadfast that Adar believed her. Despite all his doubts and fears, he believed her. "I am grateful that you called me."

"Please...do not leave me," he whispered, needing her courage to supplement his own. He sounded like a frightened child, and he would not have scoffed at the comparison. Despite the rain pattering a constant, soothing rhythm against the cloth of his tent, none of it leaked through.

"Hush, meldanya," she breathed. "I am here, and I am going nowhere."

She laid her hand on the ruined plane of his back, and the single jolt of agony he felt disappeared as quickly as it came. Light filled his tent, reflecting off the surface of her gleaming, discarded armor and caressing his skin in liquid trickles of respite.

A sob of relief tore from him when the pain stopped. His eyes fell shut again as his body trembled, and he reached his hand out until he grasped the edge of her dress. The light, beautiful fabric flowed over his fingertips, and for a single moment he was there, again, at the river bend.

A dull thud beside him pulled him back to the present...to the battlefield and his tent. Adar opened his eyes. His lady had collapsed beside him, blood seeping through the back of her dress. It took him a moment to comprehend what he was seeing.

She'd taken his injuries. With whatever power her light possessed, she had taken his pain and his wounds and replaced them with comfort, marring her own back in the process.

"No," he rasped, forcing himself to move despite the persistent ache of exhaustion in his limbs. He shifted onto the floor beside her, caressing her cheek as he watched her dress bloom a horrible, undeserved red. "No, no, meldanya, what have you done?"

Quickly, he laid her atop his bedroll and started tending to her as he would anyone else who was injured. Carefully pulling away the fabric covering her back, he realized he knew more about her injuries than most who attempted to heal their patients. He was intimately familiar with every gash. He knew which parts would hurt her most, and gathered what meager healing supplies he had. Before he could apply his admittedly rushed treatment, however, she caught his hand and whispered his name.

He startled at her abrupt return to consciousness but turned his attention to her lips instead.

"Peace. Still your hands and calm your frantic mind," she murmured, and at the small smile she offered him, he forced himself to relax. "Watch."

Obeying her command, Adar turned his gaze to her poor back and noted with shock that already the skin was knitting itself together. To his horror, however, it was healing how his own wounds did - with knots and whorls, raised ridges and hollow divots which spoke the unique language of pain. The smooth canvas of her back had become a map of scars illustrating the cruelty and rage of the Uruk's master.

"You should not have done this. Not for me. I sought the darkness, I am not worthy of such a gift," he breathed without real thought. Every word was true, and though he was the one who had taken the beating, she still bore consequences which she should never have encountered. "You should not have wasted such grace on me. I could never repay such a kindness. I will spend the rest of my time trying to find a way, nonetheless, I swear it."

She pushed herself up on her forearms until she was kneeling before him. There was certainly an urge to allow his gaze to slip down to her exposed chest, but he was no monster, despite his scars. Her dress had fallen as she'd lifted herself up, but she obviously did not care. Why should she? She was exquisite in every conceivable way. Adar knew, though, that after what she'd done for him, she likely would not appreciate his gaze roving where it ought not.

Instead, he focused squarely on her face. Already she looked healthier than the moment before, but she now wore a concerned frown.

Was everything that she did beautiful?

"Adar...darling, I did not do this with the intent of seeking repayment. It is a gift for one whom I treasure...who has been with me always." Her small, gentle hands reached for him, but before she could touch him, Adar caught them in her grasp and began covering her fingers in kisses. His dark blood had dried in the bends of her knuckles and the lines of her palms.

Only upon tasting salt did he realize that his tears had escaped down his cheeks. When he finally lifted his head and chanced a glance at her he found himself entranced. Her eyes were the reflection of morning light upon the sea, turbulent and calm in turns. Her heart was both stout and gentle, and he deserved not one flicker of her attention. But, still she showered him with it. How she tolerated his folly, he knew not–

Soft, unmarred lips met his in the midst of his self-pity, and the Uruk's mind ceased to churn beyond the wondrous realization that she was kissing him. In the darkest depths of the world, she had deemed him worthy of both her help and her affection.

He realized a moment too late that he'd frozen in place at the contact, and when she pulled away, panic bloomed in his chest. She looked at him curiously, but before she could back away farther, Adar cupped her cheeks and kissed her just like he'd wanted to since the day they met. She was the apple of his eye, his most precious desire.

Feeling her melt into his arms was a pleasure he'd never expected to experience, but he did. He would treasure it for the rest of his days.

She shuffled close enough that her chest pressed against his, and animalistic triumph roared in his chest. He'd hungered for her for so long, but despite the impatience in his Uruk nature, he'd never push her further than she was prepared to go. After all, Adar loved her. Love was gentle. For he, he would be too. He steadied her with a careful grip on her bare waist, even though he felt anything but steady himself.

The rain continued on through the night, heavy enough for the pair to eventually lie down and fall asleep safely wrapped in each other's arms. She would have to leave in the morning, but for the moment, Adar savored her closeness.

For once, the scars on his nude body did not trouble him. How could they when she traced them so carefully with her fingertips?

~*~*~

Elvish Words (Quenya):

melda heri - beloved lady

Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo, heru Adar. - A star shines on the hour of our meeting, lord Adar.

Cauma - protection

Black Speech:

agh burzum-ishi krimpatul - and in the darkness bind them

~*~

Taglist:

@asksizworld @bigblissandlove1 @gandalfthepimp @horta-in-charge @zoya-olenko

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Tides of fate (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which your newly returned husband is unsure of the path ahead, and the sea itself tries to deter you from the one you choose together

Warnings: evil!reader, smut (sneaky handjob in a public place, brief descriptions of p in v), probably inaccuracies of canon geography/lore to suit the fic, somewhat repentant Sauron stands a teeny tiny chance of being better but reader is an ‘I can make him worse’ kinda girl

Note: part of the evil!reader collection. If you’re new, reader has been married/soulbound to Sauron since before Adar killed him and infiltrated herself in Eregion as a smith while she waited for his return, but came to find him when his presence became strong enough through their bond again.

Mature content below the cut—minors DNI!!!

Halbrand.

Whilst the other passengers on the ship are asleep, he lies awake with his new name and his new face, heading into what is to be a new life. He has yet to decide whether it should be different from the one before, but one thing he knows beyond all certainty—you shall be by his side, body and soul, until existence itself is no more.

You lie in his arms as he sits reclined against a pile of cargo, with your head resting upon his heart. Even aslumber, you seem to cling to him, your fingers ever so slightly curled in the ragged shirt he wears. Halbrand himself refrains from tightening his hold around your waist to the point where he might wake you, and contents himself only with soft caresses of your hair as he cradles you close. Weeks after you had nursed him back to his solid form, there are still times when you feel you must convince yourselves that you are together once more, and the long wait is over.

It had taken a while for the frenzy to pass, once he had been remade. For his newly woven flesh to find relief, if only in part, from the yearning with which it burned for yours.

The first time he’d had you in this body is a blur in his mind, nothing left of it but white-hot flashes of rampant breathing, wails and growls, skin slapping against skin. No sooner had he breathed the air into his new lungs than he had claimed your mouth, fell with you to the ground on the very spot where his new feet had first touched it, and begged to have his wife. A beast rutting into his mate in the snow is what he had been reduced to. On an open trail, beneath the open sky, he had ploughed into you with wild abandon, searing the pleasure of every thrust into his soul as if it would be the last he ever tastes.

He had not known, when last you had been by his side before Adar’s betrayal, that you would be out of his reach for centuries to come, that the very memory of his beloved’s embrace would slip from his grasp with the long years, sunk into the black depths of a rudimentary shape which had forgotten what it was to feel at all. And so the moment he had at last regained a form that could, he had grasped, seized, clawed the feeling of being one with you back into himself.

And you had sunk your nails into his new flesh, christened it with scratches, marking it as yours. He remembers your tight heat, your shrill moans, your tears as you begged him for more, even after your peak. He remembers his frustrated curses when his fresh, tragically human form had softened beyond his control after spilling inside you only once, and your sweet laugh in his ear, nowhere near judgmental as you reassured him that with time, his Maia prowess shall return to spare him such tedious whims of a mortal’s flesh.

“You are still extraordinary, my love,” you had praised with an adoring nibble of his humanly round ear. “A true mortal man as starved as you would not have even made it all the way inside.”

It was, perhaps, for the best. For you might have fucked the very life out of yourself on his cock in those first few days, if not for the occasional need for respite. His partial oblivion, though nothing short of agonizing, had stripped him, at times, of the knowledge of what he was missing. Your longing for your husband had shredded your heart through every single moment of the centuries you had been apart, vivid as ever in your mind and soul. The hollow in your bond had never subsided into anything less than a freshly severed limb, forever bleeding from an open wound. The only reason you had not withered away was that last glimmer of feeling, barely there but undeniably real, that your husband had not passed beyond your reach completely and forever.

For weeks you had remained in those woods, unwilling to do anything but be together. Even if you weren’t making love, you were hardly ever not touching, and it cost you even to pry yourselves away to hunt or gather wood—an effort that much greater since his prowess did gradually return, as you had been most certain that it would.

As you lay in his arms, you spoke to him of the world, all the ways it had changed and all the ways it had not. The dealings of Elves, Dwarves and Men nowadays. The life you had secured for yourself in Eregion, the opportunities it held. A power over flesh. All it did was remind him of the last words he had spoken to Adar’s wretched Orcs before they had butchered him, and the only power he found himself craving was that of feeling your flesh, beneath, against and around his. And you were oh so willing to grant it to him.

The last night before your voyage, you had looked so beautiful, bathed in moonlight and the warm glow of the fire beside you as you rode your husband slowly, savouring every drag of his cock within you. He sat up, holding you close, watching in awe as you took what you needed, and gave him all he craved. His tears do not spill easily, but they had burned behind his eyes as you threw back your head and cried out your release, bringing forth his own. You were everything. His wife. His soul.

His Queen.

He had once sworn he would not rest until the whole of Middle-Earth had been brought to its knees to worship the pair of you, side by side. That nothing less would ever be enough.

Lying beside you by the fire, he was not so certain anymore.

“My love,” he had whispered as you ran your fingers through his unruly hair, “where do you wish to go?”

It was the first time either of you had spoken of your heading, rather than acting as though where you were now was all there was.

You had frowned ever so slightly, as though surprised he even had to ask, and murmured, “With you.”

The following morning, you began your journey. Eregion was your destination, as you had anticipated all throughout his long absence. To follow his weak presence through your bond and find him in Forodwaith, you had left your false life with the Elves claiming to be visiting distant kin. He had yet to spin a tale justifying his joining you upon your return, and he found it more difficult than usual to do so when he didn’t seem to be sure of his goal once you had reached the Elven kingdom. You noticed, of course, but kept your mind at a thoughtful distance, knowing he would speak his in his own time.

When a group of Men crossed your path, it was the first time since his return that you were in the presence of others. With the bit of shape-shifting ability received from your husband upon the forging of your bond, you had made the pointed tips of your ears recede into a round shape to match your husband’s current one. You were to pass as human travellers, unworthy of a second glance.

But an old man, whose name Halbrand had later learned to be Diarmid, halted to inform you of the danger ahead. You must have spent longer in Forodwaith than you thought, for you had not encountered the armies of Orcs described by Diarmid when you had come seeking your husband. The man had spoken of embracing the uncertain tides of fate in hopes of a brighter future—a sentiment embodied, in his view, by a piece of heraldry he wore which had belonged to kings long gone, whose mighty path had crumbled as easily as a less fortunate one might prove to lead into a better place.

This belief of the man touched something in Halbrand, birthed a dim spark of a feeling akin to hope. You, on the other hand, did not seem as affected by his words, or his warm invitation for you and your husband to join his people on their intended voyage to a new life across the sea. No sooner had he moved on than you began to scheme.

“A symbol of royalty with no one left to claim it? That might prove useful,” you said under your breath as the two of you remained standing by the passing group of Men. “We could take it, and their ship. Sail to Lindon instead of risking a run-in with Orcs on the way to Eregion. I have quite enough connections there as well.”

You didn’t need to speak the details for him to know the exact intent behind your words. He was stronger in his power now than he had been when this body was fresh, and you were a force to be reckoned with yourself. The two of you fighting as one could cut through the humans like butter, leaving only enough to man the ship to your desired destination under your forceful command. It would have been easy enough, nothing you hadn’t done before.

“Or perhaps we might sail with them,” Halbrand suggested instead, driven by a sudden impulse.

“Into the West?” you asked quizzically, trying to figure out a purpose of which he was not sure himself. “Is there something you wish to achieve in Númenor, or thereabouts?”

“What I wish,” he said, meeting your eyes, “is for you to come with me.”

Like you’d said you would.

And you did. With but a curious look and a slight furrow of your brow, you placed your hand in his and joined him on this new path, though neither of you was sure where it would lead.

After the weeks—or had it been months?—spent in a near perpetual embrace in the wilderness, the lack of privacy on the ship proved quite the challenge. For plain communication, your bond would have sufficed, but even there a certain veil of concealment had fallen between you. For the more you began to suspect where his intentions might be straying, the less eager you were to breach the subject.

But you hardly ever left one another’s side, and spent each night in the closest embrace appropriate to the rather crowded circumstances, as you are doing now. He never sleeps, and pretending to do so would be a most tedious chore for the sake of avoiding suspicion, if it weren’t for his wife nestled comfortably within his arms. Some nights, however, he finds himself too deep in troubled thoughts for his eyes to remain closed, and that hasn’t gone unnoticed.

“Nightmares again?” Diarmid questions, lifting his head from his own makeshift pillow closeby. He lowers his eyes to you as he says with a knowing lilt, “One would think such a warm embrace can bring peace to even the most troubled of minds.”

His remark lacks any trace of envy, his gaze on you admiring without coveting, and so Halbrand is not enraged by either. He looks down, his eyes following the soft trails drawn by his fingers as they caress your hair.

“She is all the peace I know,” he murmurs.

“But you are haunted still.”

His fingers halt, resting upon your head.

“I’ve done evil,” he confesses. We have done evil, would be the more truthful statement. But so charming and joyful you had made yourself appear to your fellow passengers, he would be taken for a liar. He can only imagine how loved you are in Eregion—how loved you would be anywhere.

“All of us have done things that we care not to admit,” Diarmid replies, seemingly unfazed by Halbrand’s grim admission. How naïve for a mortal man of his age, the Maia thinks, to so easily give the benefit of his doubt to a near stranger.

“Not like I have,” he presses on. What is the purpose of this conversation, he wonders? To test whether he would be cast out? To hear the man lie again, that there is another path for him than that of suffering he has known so far?

Is that a lie?

Diarmid ponders his words. “Your wife,” he says then, as if in answer to his inner musings. “How did you come to be wed?”

You had maintained that much truth in your façade, for obvious reasons. It is a piece of truth Halbrand reveals now as well.

“We were undone,” he says in a dark rasp, “and we remade ourselves by swallowing each other whole.”

A hoarse chuckle escapes the old man. “What a way you have with words, lad. Isn’t that a most dreary manner of saying you have healed one another?” When Halbrand looks at him, guarded, he thankfully knows better than to insist upon the details. “And she knows of this... evil you say you have done?”

Halbrand gives a nod.

“And yet,” Diarmid says, voice softening with a kind of wise tenderness, “she looks at you as though you hold the very sun above her head in the palm of your hand.”

A most uninspired metaphor. Sunlight had become too bright for your eyes, after years spent in the dark heat of Morgoth’s fortress. You do not thrive in it, but rather under grey skies, with cold air caressing your cheeks. But the sentiment he means to express is perfectly true.

“And it is plain to see,” Diarmid adds, “that you love her a great deal as well.”

There is not a single false word in that sentence. You give the lightest stir in your husband’s arms, softly nuzzling his shirt in your sleep, and Halbrand, Sauron, Mairon—everything and everyone he had ever been burns with adoration as he holds you just that little bit closer.

“You cannot imagine,” he murmurs, with nearly as raw a sincerity as only you can draw from him.

Diarmid laughs warmly. “Oh, I can, lad,” he says with a trace of wistfulness. “I can.”

His eyes drift to the distance, as he no doubt remembers some past love of his. And a great one it may have been, but he shall never know what it is to bind his very soul with another’s, to be so inextricably intertwined as the pair of you have made yourselves to be.

Halbrand says nothing, leaving the old man to his imaginings. But Diarmid soon returns from them, and gives his supposed younger a sage look.

“So, you see,” he goes on, “whatever you’ve done in your past, she has forgiven it. Now, you must find forgiveness within yourself. You are alive, holding the woman you love in your arms, because you have chosen good.”

“What of tomorrow?” Halbrand asks, almost a challenge.

“You have to choose it again.” Diarmid gives a small chuckle, as though the answer is most obvious. “And the next day, and the next, until it becomes a part of your nature.”

His nature. Good had been his nature. Once.

He wonders, had you met him as Mairon, whether your souls would still be as one now. Whether you might have lived as Melian and Thingol did, rulers over a kingdom of light, protectors against Morgoth’s darkness rather than partial cause of its spread.

But it feels like a betrayal to imagine a love any different than the one he has known with you, even if it’s still a version of you with whom he contemplates such a thing. Because in the end, it would not be you. Morgoth had stripped you of the Elf you had been as brutally as he had disposed of the once Mairon, though with the Maia, he had made the pain seem so much sweeter in the beginning. You had not fallen in love with songs and poems, with you dancing in a field of flowers and him finding himself struck dumb by your beauty. Your bond had been forged in the hottest and cruellest of flames, and was all the stronger for it. This all-consuming passion, this ruthless obsession of yours, which scorches everything and everyone in its path—nothing less would ever suffice.

Seeing that Halbrand has become lost in thought upon hearing his words, Diarmid gives him one last friendly smile and pat upon his shoulder, then turns away to settle back to sleep. Not long after, quiet snores begin to leave him.

That is when you give a light hum, and shift so that your cheek rests on your husband’s shoulder and your eyes meet.

“What a way you have with words, lad,” you tease softly.

The slightest smile tugs at Halbrand’s lips. “It isn’t proper to eavesdrop.”

“It seemed as though you were having a moment.” Your teasing smile dims as you add, even more quietly, “It seemed as though you wanted it.”

You bring your hand to his cheek, brushing your thumb through the light stubble that now adorns it. You seem to like this form of his, imperfectly human as it is, and nothing pleases him quite like pleasing you. His eyes fall shut as he leans into your touch, taking your wrist in a gentle hold and pressing his lips to the palm of your beloved hand.

“My love...” he begins, but you rest your fingertips upon his mouth.

“I know.” You sigh, letting your hand fall back to his chest. “I know. You’ve been... different, since you have returned. Not only in body. After all this time, what you have endured... I know you are faltering. That you lack direction.”

“And yet you followed me blindly.”

“Always,” you smile, though it’s short-lived. “But... if forgiveness is what you seek... from them...” Your brow creases, voice becoming pained as you lift your head from his shoulder to meet his gaze properly. “My love, we have been here once before.”

“I know,” he says firmly, wrapping your hand in his. “I would not take such a risk again.”

Like he did at the end of the First Age. When, in the wake of Morgoth’s defeat, he’d had a mind to seek pardon from the Valar rather than await their retribution. He had witnessed their might as they decimated his master’s dark forces, and Sauron himself now lacked an army with which to retaliate, should they seek him out. All he had was you, and in his wish to keep you, and in the haze of his new-found freedom from Morgoth’s clenched fist, he had entertained the thought that perhaps the Valar might consider your union, a defiance of Morgoth in itself, to be proof of your renouncing his authority even since before his defeat. Surely, they could be persuaded that all, or at least most of your vile deeds, had been for the sake of each other, to spare your beloved from Morgoth’s wrath. And to a certain extent, it was true.

But the opposite happened. The Valar had deemed your bond unnatural, volatile, forged in too deep a darkness to be anything but a force of destruction. If you truly wished to be pardoned, you were to allow it to be undone. He was to return to Valinor whilst you remained in Middle-Earth, serving to rebuild what Morgoth had destroyed until you had proven beyond doubt you had put your foul ways behind you. Only then would you be allowed passage into the West to be rejoined with your husband, should your love endure such prolonged distance and transformation from the beings you had been when you met.

Servitude would already have been nigh impossible to swallow. But separation—that was unfathomable. It was cruelty beyond imagining, from beings who had the audacity to claim they were righteous and fair. You and your husband had been left with no choice, then, but to seek out a power which would make you gods in your own right. Power over flesh, power over Middle-Earth.

Separation came anyway, only in a different form, the path you had most wanted to evade forced upon you by Adar’s treachery instead of the Valar’s so-called justice. But as great a blow as it might have been, the aftershocks of it spanning over so much time, it didn’t break either of you beyond repair. As Sauron, he has known many setbacks, failures, betrayals. He is not afraid. Even when he sought pardon before, he tells himself, he was being cautious, practical.

But he is, perhaps... tired. So tired.

“You told me you have no wish to return to your life with the Elves,” he breaks the silence you had let fall between you, patiently awaiting the further words you sensed he had to say. “Númenor is said to be a paradise, ripe with opportunity. A smith of great skill and his equally gifted wife are most likely to thrive in such a place.”

Though he speaks in statements, you hear the question they conceal. You had long suspected he had been harbouring such thoughts, and your eyes shift uneasily upon hearing them.

“I can’t say I haven’t thought of it,” you confess in the end. “That perhaps we might simply... be together, as so many others are, and that would be enough. But even if we could find it in ourselves to put Middle-Earth behind us and let Adar go unpunished for what he did...” Your hand grips his painfully as you shut your eyes for a moment, striving not to raise your voice above a tense whisper. “I cannot bear to live in fear any longer. Wondering whether or not the Valar will finally deem us worthy or harmless enough to leave us be. Seeking to appease a higher power whose breath is constantly at the back of my neck even when I cannot see it, like... like he was. Is that not why we put such thoughts aside before, and sought to claim the power that we did? To gain control, bring about a new order—our order?” You lean in closer, the despair in your eyes giving way to determination as you stare into his with each and every searing word. “You know we are meant to be more than this. The Valar may not favour us, but fate does. It’s why our paths crossed in the first place, and why we found our way back to each other time and again, despite Morgoth, and Adar, and all who would have seen us apart. It’s why we will prevail.”

It’s so taxing, keeping the intensity of your words’ sentiment quiet, that the release comes in the form of tears slipping from your eyes. Your husband’s brow creases, leaving your hand to lie upon his quickening heart as he cups both of your cheeks.

“All this time...” he whispers, thumbs brushing your tears like they are priceless gems, “all these centuries, you have kept your faith in our vision. In us.”

He knows all too well how strong you are, how ruthless in your resolve, but sometimes, the sheer might of your devotion to him still knocks the breath from his lungs.

A teary chuckle escapes you. “Had you not spent all those centuries as a barely sentient liquid, I’m sure you’d have done the same. Not to mention,” you add, seeking to lighten the mood with a touch of coyness, “you promised me a crown, my love. And I shall not let you rest until you have put it upon my head, and I have known what it is to be a true Queen, worshipped by all beings,” you lean so that your lips ghost over his as you whisper alluringly, “and by her King most ardently of all.”

He gives in with a subdued groan, catches your lips in a fleeting kiss—then presses a thumb to the soft flesh beneath your chin to better his hold on you and keep you at bay.

“My love,” he rasps out in warning, eyes roving over your face, “do not tempt me so when I cannot have you as I please.”

A wicked smile spreads across your lips, and your softly-spoken words are the sweetest siren song, calling him to his doom. “You can have me, my love. We can have anything we wish.” Your hand begins a most audacious journey down his chest and along his tensing stomach, disappearing beneath the blanket covering the both of you above the waist. “They are nothing,” you go on, nimbly working open his trousers. “What they see, what they think of us now, will be nothing once we have brought them under our rule.”

Even with the blanket covering you, if someone were to look closely, they would likely be able to discern the precise location and intent of your hand. Quite frankly, Halbrand cannot bring himself to care if they did notice either, not when his wife takes his flesh in a nearly cruel grip. His cock grows and hardens in helpless answer to your beckoning, and this, he thinks for the one thousandth time, is the sole kind of helplessness which sets his blood aboil with desire rather than rage. It takes but a few strokes, dry and curt, and he is swollen, aching, the veins in his neck straining as he bites back a growl.

As for you, it’s a struggle not to rub yourself against his leg like a warg in heat. But it is his pleasure you wish to achieve, not your own. You press your lips to those captivating lines of tension on his neck, and swipe a thumb over the tip of him to find it wet. He remains discreet in sound, if not in expression, but you feel the spike of his pleasure through your bond as you keep caressing that most sensitive part of his cock. All of a sudden, his hand is at the back of your neck, and he pulls you down so that your cheek is pushed into his chest, his chin resting the slightest bit too heavily upon your head. Like this, you feel his rampant heartbeat, his ragged breathing, the tremors you send throughout his body with each and every stroke of his length.

It’s an illusion of control, he knows, crushing you to his chest whilst the heart within it contorts and threatens to unspool back into a pile of black slime, taken apart by your words and touch. He lets you break from his hold the moment you rebel out of it, and plant your chin upon his shoulder.

“I kept my faith, because I could see us,” you whisper, your hot breath in his ear plunging straight to his cock as you pump him into a silent frenzy. “I can see what we will become, and it is so... so beautiful. Do you see us, love?” you all but whimper, as though your words alone bring you as much pleasure as the glide of his length within your fist does him. “Can you see your Queen, spread upon our throne... wearing nothing but the jewels you have given me and the crown upon my head... as your tongue swears fealty between my legs? Can you see me do the same, on my knees before my Lord and King?”

Oh, he can. So many times he’s had you, in so many ways, but the thought of you worshipping each other whilst you are being worshipped across all of Middle-Earth, taking pleasure in one another as well as the symbols of your power... That had always wrought a particular kind of havoc upon his loins, proportionate in might to the high brought by the prospect of victory in itself. And you know that damn well, as well as all the right ways to caress and graze and squeeze and knead to play his body like a harp into the very melody you wish to elicit, regardless of the form he takes, for you might as well be nestled beneath his skin, living and breathing among the strings you so deftly pluck with your ruinous fingertips. Your touch, your words, moulding his mind as you please—is this what one feels like, he wonders, when Sauron the Deceiver slithers his way into their unsuspecting thoughts?

But this is no deceit. This is his wife, his soul, reminding him of his true self, just as you did when you first found what had been left of him in Forodwaith, and put him back together. His hips jerk into the movements of your hand, seeking you out, uncaring of the people who might wake and see him being undone by your touch. You are right. They are nothing. You are all there is, and all there ever shall be.

You chuckle as he chases his breath, and bite his earlobe—hard. It may not be the sensitive tip of an Elf’s pointed ear, but the jolt of pain lights a fire beneath his skin that scorches everything in its path, and no amount of control over his form could have prevented him from spilling his seed right there and then. The growl he lets loose would have surely roused those sleeping closest by, if not for your sudden grip on his throat and lips covering his, swallowing his rough breaths. He spills and spills as you stroke him through his release, until the exquisite throbbing in his cock has finally run its most fulfilling course.

To think there was a time he knew not what it was to crave another, nor did he care to know—and then he had known you. The pleasure of his flesh might as well have your initials engraved into it.

You loosen your grip on his throat as you break the kiss, and that hand goes instead to tenderly brush a lock of dark hair from his temple. You seem awfully pleased with yourself when he opens his eyes into yours, and he doesn’t shy away from admitting that you very well should be. The hand with which you had pleasured him emerges from beneath the blanket with his spent glistening on your fingers, and you hold his gaze as you rest the digits on his bottom lip. The tip of his tongue darts out slightly, tasting what you have done to him. What you always do. He wraps his lips around your fingers, scrapes them lightly with his teeth, and something softens in your eyes.

“I want more,” you whisper, nothing short of a goddess reduced to her most vulnerable self. “I want everything. But I need only for you to want me.”

His new heart lurched in his chest. As if he could ever stop. As if there could ever be more, be anything, if there was no you and him.

He knows much better than to take your words as an admittance of defeat, however. If he truly were to demand that you renounce your aspirations, you would be furious. You would fight and fuck him in every way you could think of to change his mind, but you would follow him wherever he went. As he would you. There is no such thing as choosing to leave one another’s side, unless you have reason to believe that your temporary separation shall serve to make you all the more fruitful in your shared endeavours upon your reunion.

Your shared endeavours is what they still are. What they always have been. He sees that now, clearer than ever.

Having released your fingers, his mouth claims yours in a bruising kiss. You moan into it, too loud, too desperate, but neither of you cares. He truly abandons all caution, pulling you into his lap by your waist, and you grind your clothed core into his newly hardening cock as soon as you are astride him, and damn these people, damn your ruse, he is going to have you, fully and unrestrained, right here in their midst. It matters not, for most will be dead soon either way. For you will take the ship for yourselves, just like you first suggested, and sail back to Middle-Earth to claim it as your own. And he means to tell you this whilst you ride him, just as you are reaching your peak, and send you careening into it with this sweetest promise like you had done him—

Something’s wrong. Even in the heat of passion he feels it, and every muscle in his body stiffens. You break away at once, alarmed by his alarm.

“Hold on to me,” is all the warning he has time to give you.

Not a soul on the ship remains asleep when it takes the first hit, water flooding into the hull through shattered wood. It’s everywhere, bursting through holes in the walls and pouring down the stairs from the deck, and you barely manage to scramble to your feet before the next blow lands, and the next. You do try to keep your grip on each other, but end up bracing yourselves against the pile of cargo on which you had been resting so you don’t get knocked off your feet. At the very least, he manages to hastily refasten his trousers. Not that anyone would care if they caught a glimpse of a man’s privates at a time like this—but in his flailing circumstances, it isn’t quite the power move it would have been if he were shamelessly buried to the hilt inside you for all to see.

“Was that—?”

“Yes,” he answers you gruffly. “Sea worm.”

“Is that a problem?” you ask urgently, ever so pragmatic even as your chest heaves through the sudden panic.

He isn’t sure. He feels recovered enough, but he can’t say whether his ability to sway the creature’s mind is good as new until he’s come face to face with it. He’s about to go and find out, when a voice screams, “Help me!”

It’s Diarmid who cried out, trapped beneath a wooden beam that had collapsed upon him. Bleeding from a head wound, he looks to Halbrand in despair. No one else even stops to look, the other passengers scurrying around in a frenzy, as if there is anywhere to run.

Halbrand and you make no move. Your gazes meet as you wait with bated breath for his choice, even in the midst of chaos.

Whatever you’ve done in your past, she has forgiven it.

If anything, you should forgive him for ever faltering in his resolve. There is no such thing as a man called Halbrand, or as you and him disappearing in the crowd. You shall be everywhere, standing above everything and everyone, as you were always meant to.

He leans over Diarmid, grabbing hold of the fallen beam atop him—only to snatch the pouch bearing a king’s symbol from his neck, the Maia’s pitiless eyes staring into the man’s terrified ones. He turns to the beautiful sight of your smile, proud and relieved, and a smirk blooms on his own lips. Screams fill the ship as it is ripped to shreds, but you put your hand in his and pull him towards the deck with an exhilarated “Come on!”, and for a moment he suspects this feeling in his chest might be akin to what a young man would experience, if he were being whisked into the unknown by a rebellious first love.

And like the folly of such youth, it doesn’t last. Your hand slips from his as the ship falls apart, swallowed whole by the ocean, and he is submerged into an underwater field of shattered woods and floating bodies. He has lost you from his sight, but he knows you’re alive. He knows he is still lord over beasts as well, when the sea worm obeys the command in his eyes and abandons its attack, swimming away. Perhaps the effort of imposing his will on such a great creature is still too taxing. Perhaps that’s why the pulse of your life is as vivid as ever within your bond, but feels further away. The water is dark, and you are strong—he feels is. You are soon to surface.

But when he emerges from the sea, grabbing hold of a floating piece of wood, you are nowhere in sight.

He waits. Waits, then dives back in.

The bodies he finds are all corpses.

You are alive.

But you are gone.

His scream is lost in the black depths of the sea.

*****

As soon as you break through the surface, gasping for air, you know something is terribly amiss.

For one, there is no one in sight. No ship, no people, no sea worm. Then, there is the rising sun, when moments ago it had been little past midnight, and land in sight when you had been most certain you were in the middle of the sea. And most poignant of all, there is distance—great and sudden, between you and your husband.

He is well, though, and even more so now that he has felt you reaching out to him. The spark of relief echoing through your bond is the only reason you do not immediately despair. You have an inkling of what might have occurred. But you save your energy for swimming towards the distant shore, channeling your ire into each kick of the water.

How do the Valar expect you to renounce your bitterness towards them, when they do their very best to fuel it with every given occasion?

*****

He breathes easy at last. He had known you were alive all along, but the gnawing emptiness where your consciousness should have been had not ceased to churn within his chest until he’d felt you, aware and present in your bond once more.

For you to have drifted away, so quickly and so far... it was no natural occurrence.

There’s a presence he’d felt. A watching. Sickly familiar, and he knows not how, but—they knew. Perhaps you had invoked them one too many times, and Ulmo himself had reached out with a watery tendril of his power to snatch you from your husband’s reach. Whether in punishment or warning, it matters not. For in his haste to part you, the Vala had failed to prevent a great opportunity from landing right into his great enemy’s lap—or rather, swimming her way onto his raft.

Galadriel.

He knows her name. How could he not? Sister of Finrod, daughter of Finarfin. A mighty Elven warrior, hailed as the fairest of Elven women, the very light of the Trees of Valinor supposedly snared in her tresses. It’s hard to tell, with her golden hair soaked and clinging to her shoulders. But her beauty concerns him little. Once he has taken Middle-Earth, he thinks, he shall have the tongue of any being who dares suggest another might be fairer than his Queen.

You’ve reached the shore, he senses, back in Middle-Earth. To Galadriel, he speaks half-truths of hateful Orcs that chased him from his homeland, but within himself, he smiles. So, they dare not kill you, still, especially after they were proven right to hesitate in doing so before—when the Orcs had robbed him of his form, his power had burst from the remains of him with such anguished fury, Forodwaith had been reduced to an icy wasteland. Should your bond be severed as violently, there is no telling what horrors that gaping wound might unleash. The Valar have revealed their fear once more, and it serves to remind him why the two of you have nothing to fear.

You were right, my love, he thinks. The message may not reach you word for word, but he knows it will be crystal clear in your mind. Though some may seek to part us, the tides of fate are flowing ever in our favour. Make for Eregion. Await me there. I shall return to you soon, having made great progress towards our end.

From you, there comes the anger and the grief of your parting, which he shares—but stronger than that is your faith in him, further solidified by his determination.

“Around your neck,” Galadriel says. “Is that the mark of your people’s king?”

She had noticed, then. He’d been careful to fiddle with it earlier, tucking it into his shirt when she thought he hadn’t seen her scrutinizing him. You had been right, of course—that pouch would prove useful, after all.

Thank you, my love, he thinks fondly to you. For reminding me who I am. Who we are.

Your devotion caresses his soul, and the Deceiver begins to worm his way into an unsuspecting mind once more.

Previous fic with same reader -> Remade

Next fic with same reader -> Reunion

[sansaorgana]

— IN PERPETUITY (II)

PART ONE

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader

SUMMARY — After murdering her husband, Sauron's wife disguises herself as a beautiful Elven maiden to live in Eregion and gain Lord Celebrimbor's trust as she hopes for him to forge her the Rings of Power. Her plans get interrupted when her husband comes back in a new form as well and he is thirsty for revenge.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — The Reader in this fic is a Maia, so she changes her appearance like Sauron does but I am not describing any of her forms in any details. The title of the fanfic and its vibe are inspired by the song Sugarbread by Soap&Skin. Special thanks to @dinsbeskar for giving me the most appreciated feedback before I posted this fic! 💕 I originally planned for Sauron to be the dom in this part but... oopsie, I got carried away and surprise, surprise... He is a sub again! 🤣

WARNINGS — Reader is evil-evil with sadistic undertones, manipulation, gaslighting, SMUT, choking, hair pulling, sub!Sauron

WORD COUNT — 5,660

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

IN PERPETUITY (II)

You spent a few more decades in the North inside the very same fortress but its eerie aura was making you feel too uneasy. Adar could sense that too, as if Sauron’s death cursed this place furthermore.

He wanted to go with his children to The Southlands and to turn it into a home for the Orcs who could not bear the sunlight. You had slightly other plans but his schemes did not interfere with yours.

“I shall assist you and lead your army all the way South,” you told him one evening. “We should leave this place, it is not doing me any good and I cannot waste more time hiding here,” you informed him.

“What are your plans, my Lady?” Adar asked and you only smirked at him.

“What leader would I be if I shared all my schemes with you?” You asked and he clenched his jaw. You knew what was the thing he feared the most, so you quickly reassured him. “I want your children to have their home, too. In fact, such a land of darkness might be useful to me. I am not fond of sunlight either. Therefore, as I said, I shall lead you to The Southlands and assist you on the way. But after we arrive and you settle in, I will leave your side. We will remain in touch, of course,” you nodded. “But I trust you enough for us to split for a few centuries.”

In fact, you did not trust him enough. You would never trust anyone. But you had no other choice and you simply had to abandon your army for some time if your plan was supposed to turn out successful.

“Where will you go?” Adar asked and you gave him a mysterious smile.

“I have a business in Eregion.”

Indeed you had. Mairon was gone but not all of his ideas were. You were truly fascinated by his dream of crafting The Rings of Power but… you had killed your smith, therefore you needed a new one.

And who would be better for this task than Lord Celebrimbor himself? You just had to show up in Eregion as a fair Elven maiden and build his trust slowly, a century after century… And then, using some perfectly crafted and prepared beforehand opportunity, you would push him into the right direction.

You would have your Rings.

Your Ring.

And you did not need Mairon for any of that. It would just take slightly longer time but at least you did not have to bow to anyone or share your power.

Adar could see that you did not want to answer his questions any further, so he only nodded at you but he kept staring at you with squinted eyes.

Like you had planned, you did. Changed your appearance into one of the most beautiful Elven women in all Middle-earth and showed up in Eregion, claiming to come all this way from Mirkwood to learn Lord Celebrimbor’s craft.

The Mirkwood Elves were the most secluded kin, therefore no one was surprised to see you for the first time in their lives. But for that very reason you were also not trusted much in the beginning. That was no problem. You had time. All eternity.

Step by step, you began your journey. At first you were humble and compassionate without even seeing Lord Celebrimbor much. But as centuries passed, you were getting promotion after promotion until you found yourself being the very right hand of the Lord of Eregion.

Your backstory of coming from Mirkwood was useful in a different way, too – whenever you would go to The Southlands to check on Adar and your army, Elves of Eregion believed that you were visiting your family in Mirkwood.

Everything seemed to go well and according to your plan… Well, almost.

You could still sense him. Mairon. Even after leaving the cursed fortress where he had been slain, you could still feel his presence. You told no one about it, not even Adar. You had a feeling it was caused by the bond you shared with him through your blood but should you truly feel anything if he was dead?

You could sense which feelings were yours and which were unfamiliar to you and strange – those were undoubtedly his. And the main sensation you could feel in the back of your own, always creeping in the shadows of your soul like an unwanted guest was… hunger. Deep and primal starvation.

You tried to ignore that eerie sensation because you would go crazy if you tried to fight it or overthink it. However, late at night, when you were pretending to be asleep or studying the projects of the Rings that Mairon had left behind, you could feel it growing and growing inside of you. And your iron wedding ring that had been re-forged into a necklace seemed to burn your skin at those moments, too. But you never took it off for it was supposed to be a souvenir of a life you had once lived; of a previous Age.

You were quite sentimental despite your evil nature.

And when the light of the Elves began to fade in Middle-earth, you were frustrated and terrified that you were running out of time. If Celebrimbor was about to leave this realm, you would lose all those years of progress and preparations.

And who else would craft you such Rings? The dwarves? Would your next form be of a dwarf, trying to infiltrate Khazad-dûm?

You did not even want to think of such a possibility.

Thankfully, Celebrimbor was not eager to leave Middle-earth. He felt as if what he had done was not enough. He wanted to be remembered as the greatest Elf of this Age; the greatest smith for sure. The forge kept working throughout the crisis and at the very same time Adar finally managed to turn The Southlands into the new land.

Therefore, you left Eregion with an excuse to visit your family in Mirkwood. The times for the Elves were very challenging, so no one was angry at you for wanting to see your made up mother and siblings.

In fact, you hurried to The Southlands and you were truly in awe of what your Lieutenant had done to this place.

“How do you wish me to name it, my Lady?” Adar asked as you two were taking a walk amongst the ashes.

“Mordor,” you smirked at him.

“The Land of Shadow,” Adar nodded. “Why?”

“Mairon used to describe my heart this way,” you explained and Adar rolled his eyes slightly but he did not comment.

You continued your walk in silence. For a short while now, the eerie feeling from the back of your soul had been surprisingly gone and that sudden change was worrying to you. But perhaps after all those centuries of dying down slowly, Mairon’s spirit was truly gone now, leaving an oddly empty space within you…

“Do you miss him?” Adar asked suddenly and you shot him a scolding glance.

“Sometimes,” you answered truthfully. “I do not regret what I have done but we shared a long history and a powerful bond that went above our blood pact. He will remain a part of me in perpetuity.”

“My condolences,” Adar remarked and you snorted at his words.

In the evening of that day, you hopped onto your horse and went back to Eregion where surprisingly everything seemed to still be working and all the Elves were happier than ever.

“My dear (Y/N)!” Celebrimbor greeted you with open arms as you hugged him back, confused. “What you have missed, my friend, you will not believe it.”

“I can see that I must have missed something important indeed,” you mumbled.

“Come, let me show you,” Celebrimbor walked you to his forge and showed you the papers scattered all over his desk.

Those were projects of… the Rings.

Three Elven Rings for the Elven Kings. You froze at the sight of the drawings and the very familiar concepts.

“You… You came up with that idea to save our kin all by yourself, my friend?” You asked Celebrimbor. “They are the most exquisite,” you hummed to yourself.

“Oh, no, I…” Celebrimbor laughed nervously. “Well, Lady Galadriel came here and she brought a very special man with her. He was some sort of a human king, I do not know the details,” he shrugged his arms. “Either way, he was an enormous aid to me.”

“Are the drawings his?” Your heart skipped a beat at the revelation as your eyes studied the projects even more thoroughly.

“Yes. Some of them,” Celebrimbor nodded.

“I would like to meet him,” you clenched your jaw, trying your best to hide your nervousness.

“I am afraid that will be impossible, my dear. He is gone and Lady Galadriel claims he will never return. Even if he does, I have made my promise to her to never treat with him again,” Celebrimbor explained.

“I do wonder why,” you smirked to yourself but your hands turned cold when you realised it could have been him – your husband. Back in Middle-earth and so close to you.

He was the only one except for you who knew about the idea of the Rings. The idea was his, after all. And the lines of the drawings were like the ones you kept hidden inside your chambers that had been made by Mairon.

But what was even the meaning of all of this? You had spent centuries in Eregion, still too afraid to even mention the possibility of forging any Ring yet and he showed up and pushed Celebrimbor into making the Rings… just like that?!

“That man… Did he assist you in making those Rings?” You asked your friend and Celebrimbor shook his head with a sour expression.

“No, no… He only gave me an idea and helped me to find the way,” he answered and you nodded.

“Now, when the Elves are safe... Do you not think that perhaps other races would need such items, too?” You teased, carefully.

“(Y/N), my dear…” Celebrimbor laughed nervously and put his hands upon your shoulders. “Let us celebrate this victory first and leave the worry for some other day. Tell me, my friend, how is your family in Mirkwood?”

You were organising Celebrimbor’s papers inside his office while he watched with content how his smiths worked in the forge, drinking tea and smiling to himself. Your peace was interrupted by the smith Mirdania who gathered her skirts and walked up to Celebrimbor’s study.

“That human king… Halbrand. He is back,” she announced and you raised your head immediately.

“Well, tell him to go away,” Celebrimbor avoided her gaze. “In a polite manner, of course. I believe you can come up with something.”

“But… My Lord–” she started.

“I shall do it,” you stood up and nodded at him. “This way, we will get rid of him like Lady Galadriel asked but I will also meet the man who helped you to craft such wonders,” you smiled and Celebrimbor nodded.

You walked past Mirdania and all the way down to the gates of Eregion with your heart growing heavy with each step. Your blood ran cold as you could sense him indeed.

Your husband. Your nemesis.

He was back.

All the questions about how and why were unnecessary. You knew him too well and for the past centuries you had been feeling that what you had done to kill him truly had not been enough. Therefore, you were not as surprised as others would be.

But it still felt wrong and gut-twisting to see him again. The very last time you had seen him he had been a dead body laying in the puddle of his blood after your treachery.

Approaching the gates, you spotted a ragged man of human species with dark hair and dirty tunic. You would never recognise your husband in that person if it was not for the strong feeling in your heart that he was no one else but Mairon.

His back was turned on you but you saw his body freezing when you stood there. He sensed your presence, too.

He turned around, slowly, as you watched with curiosity. His form was different now and the hair colour was not the only thing that changed. His eyes, his nose, his lips, even his height were different. But despite the brand new form, he was Mairon.

He was your husband and you would recognise him anywhere.

And you were his wife and he would recognise you, too. Your form differed now from the one he had remembered as well. Those were not the very same hands that had slain him; yet they belonged to the same person.

“Lord Celebrimbor regrets to inform you he’s unable to grant you entry,” you told him, playing your role as well as you could under such circumstances.

Short silence occurred.

“Mightn’t I speak with him directly?” He asked and shrugged his arms, deciding to play his role, too.

“My Lord is occupied,” you explained, “but he wishes you good fortune on your journey,” you added and turned around to walk away, feeling your hands beginning to tremble.

“What a beautiful necklace it is that you have, my Lady. Was it a gift perhaps? From someone special to you?” He asked and you stood still, closing your eyes and sighing before turning around to face him once more.

“From an old friend who is long gone now,” you forced your lips to curl up and form a smile. “Are you not leaving?”

“I’ll just wait here,” he informed you. “Just in case the Lord of Eregion changes his mind.”

He will not, you wanted to say, I will make sure of it.

But you could not because that would be highly suspicious to treat him this way and the guards were standing there. Therefore, you only nodded and went back to Celebrimbor, feeling the necklace on your chest burning your skin to the point where tears of pain formed in your eyes.

You were trying to make Celebrimbor remember the promise he had made to Lady Galadriel and many times you mentioned to him how dirty and filthy you had found the human king named Halbrand. Mirdania, on the other hand, seemed to be enamoured with your husband’s new form and she was his greatest advocate.

“I am retiring to my chambers,” you informed Celebrimbor on that night after working for a few hours with him and Mirdania. “I suggest you two do the same, it has been a long and tiresome day.”

“And the night is so cold,” Mirdania sighed, looking out of the window.

You ignored her and smiled at Celebrimbor before going to your chambers and locking the doors behind you. The very first thing you did was to take off the necklace around your neck but when you did, you spotted a burn mark in the shape of it.

You focused on healing yourself but no amount of your powers was enough to heal it.

“What is going on…?” You muttered to yourself. You were a being much too powerful to fail at healing your form from such a minor injury.

Nothing seemed to work, though. Frustrated, you put the necklace back on to hide the scar with it and you changed into your nightgown.

As a Maia, you did not need sleep. But lots of the nights you were actually laying in bed and taking naps, because there were not many things you could do. And tonight you had to think of a new plan because Mairon’s return was not a part of your perfect scenario.

If only you had your crown with you, you would just take it, go downstairs and stab him with it again. But your crown was in Mordor, under Adar’s protection. Taking an item so dark and powerful to Eregion would make some of the Elves sense its disturbing presence.

But the crown itself apparently would not be enough. You needed allies. And as you tossed and turned in your bed, you were thinking of the Rings crafted by Celebrimbor. If they were not corrupted by Mairon, you could use them to help you.

Your train of thought was interrupted by a rapid knocking upon your doors. You groaned slightly and stood up to open the doors, expecting to see Mirdania in them, pleading for you to help her convince Celebrimbor to show mercy to the human king waiting by the gates. She had made such an attempt many times on that day already.

But when you opened the doors, you realised that she did not need your aid to succeed because she apparently had already convinced Celebrimbor to allow Halbrand inside Eregion.

There he stood, face-to-face with you. In yet another form but this one did not differ that much from the previous one. His ears were pointy now and Elven, his hair was blond and long. He was no longer ragged and dirty but seemed to radiate the light of Valinor and only a creature as dark as you could sense how twisted and corrupted the illusion was.

His robes were grey and humble, especially compared to yours. Even though you were in nothing but your nightgown, your clothes were the most exquisite. In the very early days you had been a disciple of Vairë The Weaver and ever since you had always had a taste for beautiful fabrics.

“Mairon…” You whispered, taking a step back because his presence was so overlooming that you could not do anything else but retreat.

“Wife,” he greeted you through gritted teeth and entered your chambers before shutting the doors closed.

“What is it with the new form? Are you trying to deceive Celebrimbor like this?” You snorted, nervously. “I shall reveal the truth to him.”

“You will not because you would have to tell him the truth about yourself, too. And that is something you will simply not do,” Mairon smirked and walked around your room. He froze at the sight of his drawings on your desk. The old ones, from the First Age. “So, that is why you are here.”

“And you? Why?” You asked and crossed your arms. “Why are you back with the living, dark spirit? Must you torment me so?”

“Torment you?” He asked, angrily, as his eyes filled with pure rage and hatred.

Before you could react, his hand was wrapped around your throat and you were pinned to the wall with his burning eyes right in front of yours as his eyelashes brushed your cheeks and you felt his hot breath on your parted lips.

“It is you who tormented me. Who betrayed me and slain me,” he drawled out.

“And you should thank me for it,” you smirked even though you were losing oxygen. You did not need it but it was still a slight inconvenience to your flesh.

“Thank you? I shall kill you, witch,” his grasp tightened.

“If you were not reborn, you would still be that pathetic and weak Mairon I remember. But you are different now. You have changed,” you pointed out and he let go of your throat but his eyes remained cold and empty; two black abysses observing your every movement as if he was a predator watching his prey.

“The change was required. The centuries I have spent on regaining my strength, I was driven by nothing but my desire for revenge. My hatred for you,” he spat out.

“Liar,” you were quick to answer. “All I could sense was hunger. And even now, I see you do not wish to see me slain. Otherwise, you would have already killed me.”

“Oh, sweet wife, you will not know the day nor the hour. I am all in for the dramatics just like you were,” he remarked.

“You are nobody, Mairon. Sauron. I am the one the Uruk follow and I am the one for whom Mordor is being prepared to rule over. I am the very foundation of this whole realm and I am its future,” you took a deep breath in as you stated. “You are nothing but a forgotten shadow that no one wants to follow, not even the filthiest of the creatures.”

“I am your husband,” Mairon’s fury won over his flesh once more as he grabbed you with all force by your arm. “And if I am nobody as you claim, you will forever be stained by being bound to a man like me.”

“You should have stayed dead, Mairon. I will turn your life into hell,” you threatened, your anger amplified by his as they mixed in your veins. “Do try to remember the suffering our master had put you through and I shall be worse. I will destroy you for good this time. I will tear you apart, piece by piece and torture every inch of you until you beg me to release you from your pathetic life forever but for each plea I will prolong the pain,” you drawled out and he grabbed you by your hair to pull on it as his fist tangled in your hair.

“You are only giving me ideas on how to get rid of you, treacherous vixen,” he whispered maliciously into your face. “The bane of my existence,” he added angrily as his empty eyes looked you up and down, stopping for a moment on your parted lips.

And then he kissed you. Eagerly and passionately, not letting go of your hair at all but pulling on it even harder and making your head throw back as your teeth clashed.

You clinged to his robes with your fists, trying to push him away but he was too strong for you to be able to do so. His free hand tore your nightgown off of your body as if he was a wild animal using his claws to get to what he craved the most.

You whined and he broke the kiss, holding your hair in his fist and twisting it to make you wince out of pain.

“Why did you betray me?” He asked, looking deep into your eyes and even though his expression was terrifying, you could sense his pain.

“I could have asked you the same, Mairon. Why did you betray me, husband?” You whimpered, searching for an answer in his eyes but he seemed to be confused that you were accusing him of such things. “We were supposed to rule together as equals but you were too greedy, my love, too eager. Yet, you were not fit to rule, not yet. So desperate to prove your worth.”

“Shut it,” Mairon growled and looked down at your naked body and the torn nightgown at your feet. “Are you not the most vain? The form you took as an Elf is so beautiful –  too beautiful. How can they not think of it as suspicious?”

“And you? Are you not vain, too?” You snorted at him and he let go of your hair, pushing you away and making your back hit the wall.

Mairon grabbed your necklace and tore it off of you to throw it on the ground as well, revealing your burn mark. He smirked at it before putting his hands on your naked hips and pulling you closer to his body. His lips placed wet and open-mouth kisses all around your neck where the scar was and you could feel it healing as his fingers were digging deep into your bones and pulling you harder and harder into him, the harsh fabric of his robes irritating your soft and sensitive now-Elven skin.

The sensation of his lips around your neck and the pain from his rough treatment excited you. It had been centuries after the last time you had given in to the desires of your flesh.

It had been centuries after you had experienced such desires at all. Apparently, it was only him who could awaken them within you.

You whined and moaned, reaching with your hands to cup his face and to bring his lips close to yours once more. This time it was you initiating the hungry and teeth-clashing kiss.

“I have lost centuries because of you, witch,” Mairon whispered after you broke the kiss. “You humiliated me. You betrayed me. You slaughtered me. I bled out. I fought each given moment to survive in the very depths of that cursed fortress. I spent ages on regaining my strength as a shadow with no heart, no limbs – merely a mind. Yet, a woman like you is worth the sacrifice. If it was your wish for me to be reborn into a man worthy of you, let it be then,” he breathed out and you let out a twisted laugh.

“Just like my old Mairon,” you caressed his new cheeks. “New face, new body, new powers… The very same pathetic devotion,” you chuckled and pushed him down onto your bed.

You crawled up on top of him with a grin, your hair falling down on his face as he gasped and you treated his robes with gentleness similar to the way he had treated your nightgown with – you tore them off of him and threw them on the floor.

“If you wish to follow me, my sweet Mairon,” you raised an eyebrow as you lowered yourself on his hard length, hissing at the feeling you had nearly forgotten, “you will follow me as my most humbled Lieutenant. You will bow down at my feet and pledge your allegiance to your Queen,” you began to roll your hips, which brought you great pleasure but to him it was nothing but a tease. His lips parted and cheeks blushed as your grin grew even wider. “Say it, my love. Tell me that you will.”

Short while of hesitation occurred. But when you began to clench the muscles of your cunt willingly to squeeze his cock as you circled your hips, he whined and nodded.

“I promise,” he breathed out.

You knew his words were not genuine but you enjoyed playing with him for now.

“I will make you my dog, Sauron,” you called him with the name he was known as amongst the Elves. The dirty name, spoken out like filth. You watched him swallow the lump in his throat when your hips stopped rolling and started to bounce slowly on his cock as you placed your hands behind you on his thighs to steady yourself. “Say it,” you ordered, harshly.

“I will be your dog,” he winced at the feeling of your cunt clenching around him and sucking in all the precum he had spilled already from your ministrations. “I will crawl on my knees after you, kiss the ground you walked on, build altars for you and make others worship you, too. This will be my purpose; the only war I will fight for you. The holy war to convert all the unbelievers.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet, my Mairon,” you admitted and leaned in to kiss his lips while putting one of your hands on his chest now as your hips picked up their pace. It was nearly brutal now how you were fucking him and you could feel your own high coming, too. But it never ended with one with your husband. “If you truly will be as good as you promise me to be, I will let you reside between my legs and lick my cunt in return,” you teased, “for as long as you wish, my sweet.”

To see you pleased with him was all he had ever wanted. Therefore, it was no surprise that your words were enough to make him fill you up that very moment as you threw your head back, laughing, straightening your back and continuing to ride him as if nothing had happened.

He whined and whimpered for a while, which you ignored, determined to reach your high as well. And it did come shortly after but by that time he was hard yet once more and that was how it had always been between you two – once you started, it was nearly impossible to stop.

However, when the dawn came, you had to put a halt to your desires, because you both had your duties around Eregion. As the sun rose, you left your husband casually as if you hadn’t just reached yet another one of your highs and you opened the wardrobe to pick the gown for the day, leaving him behind.

He rolled onto his side and rested his head on his elbow as he watched you with squinted eyes, his hair a ruffled mess and his cheeks still blushing. He was a sight, indeed. He had always been.

“It was never your intention to share your power with me either, was it?” He asked and you snorted at that.

“Do not be a fool. Why would I ever do that?” You asked with contempt.

“You are not hurt by my betrayal. Only your pride is hurt that I dared to betray you first,” Mairon pointed out.

“You forget yourself. I have killed you once and I shall kill you again,” you reminded him and brushed your hair in a rush after putting the dress on.

And just like that, you left him inside your chambers to go on with your day with a smile.

Despite everything between you two, you were glad to have him back. He was treacherous and awful – absolutely the worst. And yet, your life without him had been quite lonely and empty. A dull grey.

And if there had to be only two creatures left in the world, you hoped it would be you and him. In perpetuity.

After running your morning errands, you walked inside the forge and froze at the sight of Mairon. He had his grey and humble robes back on with no trace of your fingers tearing them open a few hours earlier. Celebrimbor and Mirdania were standing next to him and they all laid their eyes upon you the moment you joined them.

“(Y/N), my dear. You will not believe me who our human king turned out to be,” Celebrimbor exclaimed, excitedly. “Come here, my friend. Let me introduce you to Annatar, the Lord of Gifts, the emissary of The Valar,” he beckoned you over and you approached them, trying very hard not to laugh. To see Mirdania’s eyes full of affection and admiration as she stared at your husband only intensified your need to laugh, but you managed to stop yourself.

“It is such an honour, my Lord. Forgive me for the way I treated you by the gates,” you bowed your head at him.

“There is no need, my Lady. Lord Celebrimbor has been telling me a lot about you. You are his most trusted friend,” he looked you up and down intensely although the smile he gave you was kind. Nearly sweet. “And the most beautiful Elven maiden I have ever laid my eyes upon, most certain,” he added to tease you as Celebrimbor cleared his throat and looked away, awkwardly, while Mirdania lowered her head.

“You are way too generous with your compliments, my Lord,” you only answered. “What is the purpose of your visit to Eregion?”

“Lord Annatar is here to help me with the Rings,” Celebrimbor joined the conversation again immediately as his eyes sparkled.

“Are they not finished?” You furrowed your brows.

“No, no, my dear. Remember when you told me that perhaps we should craft more of them for other races that might be in need?” Celebrimbor asked.

“You did, my Lady?” Mairon raised his eyebrow at you with a very surprised expression, which made him look quite adorably innocent but you knew that he was teasing you and you had to fight an urge to roll your eyes.

“Mayhaps,” you only mumbled.

“Well, Lord Annatar is here to help me with these designs. You were right, my dear, we cannot abandon our friends in need no matter what kin they are,” Celebrimbor seemed to be content with this idea and you gritted your teeth.

You truly wanted to punch your husband right into that oh-so-innocent face as everyone would gasp and call you a monster. How dared he? You had spent centuries earning Celebrmbor’s trust and there he was, showing up in that blasphemous disguise and being the saviour of the day without any preparations; stealing and wooing the Lord of Eregion?

Therefore, a new and wicked idea bloomed inside of your mind.

To sabotage Mairon’s plan.

“Oh, really? Well, I’ve been thinking of it, my Lord. I do not think it is a good idea, after all, even though it was originally mine,” you told Celebrimbor and his smile dropped.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I do not think any other race is worthy of those rings. Who next? The Dwarves? And then? Humans? Once we agree to craft the rings for humans, we could as well craft them for the Orcs!” You exclaimed, dramatically.

Celebrimbor gasped and turned around as if he was rethinking his decision. Mirdania was not paying attention anymore to you and standing by the window, still jealous of the praise Lord Annatar had graced you with.

Therefore, your husband allowed himself to break the play for a moment and give you a deadly look, to which you replied with a wink.

The game had started and oh, how thrilling it was, how exciting to have an opponent.

And, in the end of it all, you would either kill him once more or end up dead yourself by his hand.

Or, perhaps, your love would only flourish in this environment of constant bickering and rivalry. Perhaps you would rejoin your souls and fates like you had rejoined your flesh on the night before.

Either way, the game was worth playing.

In perpetuity.

MASTERLIST

[sansaorgana]

Now when Deception is nearly finished (I'm gonna post two alternative endings on Friday), I can focus more on writing shorter stories. ❤️

I have one story already started with Sauron and Maia!Reader but unlike Maia!Reader from In Perpetuity, she is a good spirit in this one. This story will be written for sure (+ I'm thinking of one plotless smut but that's uncertain yet) but I also have other ideas and I would like to know if you're interested in them...

Those are just ideas and concepts and I am not promising I'm going to write them all because some are more developed than others but please let me know if they interest you so I know what to focus on while daydreaming lol 😆

1. Sauron x Morgoth's Ex!Reader 👹

2. Sauron/Halbrand x Elf!Reader where she is becoming human for him (like Arwen for Aragorn) because she doesn't know he is actually immortal... 🙈

3. Sauron/Annatar x Celebrimbor's WIFE!Reader 🤡

4. Adar x Elf!Reader where she is a good Elf (kinda like Galadriel) 🔮

5. First Age ginger loser Jack Lowden! Sauron x Reader – just an idea to write more for him specifically if you'd be interested 🦊

6. Dad!Sauron x Reader – would you be interested in more fics where Reader and Sauron have kids (like in Blessed)? 🍼

[thyras]

→ luminary - two

PAIRING → adar x f!Maia!reader, mentions of sauron | mairon | halbrand x f!Maia!reader

WORD COUNT → 3.2k words

WARNINGS → mentions of torture, manipulation, the usual with sauron

SUMMARY → you try to plead your case to adar in hopes he will let you free.

AUTHORS NOTE → okay, so y'all are in for a treat; this has become a three-parter because this part took on a life of its own and in order to finish the story i will need another part. i'm feeling better and inspired so it should be out shortly. sorry this is not a heavy sauron chapter but i kinda am feeling things toward adar lol.

The great halls of Angband rose around you, oppressive and unyielding, their jagged walls a testament to Morgoth’s dominion. Ash choked the air, and the ceaseless echoes of toil filled your ears. You walked these halls as an anomaly—a flicker of light caught in the heart of shadow. Once, your song coaxed life from barren earth; now, it lent itself to creations you scarcely recognize. The melody that escaped your lips was foreign and haunted, a strange lament that mourned even as it shaped the corrupted life you are tasked to help create.

You followed him here, into this abyss. Mairon, with his golden brilliance now dimmed by ambition, his fire now bent to serve Morgoth’s dark will. You told yourself your love brought you here, hoping your light would temper the shadow. You still cling to that hope in your heart, though it weakened with every passing day.

The moment Morgoth commanded the creation of Orcs, your spirit recoiled. Twisting the forms of captured Elves and corrupting what had been pure was a task that stood against everything you were. Yet Morgoth’s will was absolute, and Mairon—brilliant, persuasive, relentless—implored you to lend your abilities to the endeavor.

"You see only corruption," Mairon said to you one night, his voice smooth and measured, "but we see potential. To take what is broken and remake it—what higher purpose is there? Is this not the essence of creation itself?"

His words burrowed into your thoughts, gilded with his subtle logic. Could you shape these perversions into something less abhorrent, lend even a glimmer of mercy to Morgoth’s cruelty? You sang, your voice trembling, and in that moment, you betrayed yourself as much as the Music of the Ainur. You softened the suffering of the broken forms with your song, your heart crying for them even as your hands worked.

In the long, grim days that followed, Mairon sustained you. Even dimmed by the darkness, his eyes were still a beacon in the wasteland. You worked together in Angband’s vast workshops, where his hands would shape terrible wonders, and yours tempered the chaos of his designs. In those shared hours, your bond deepened, and your love became a fragile lifeline against the encroaching despair.

"You are my reminder," he told you one night in the forge, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "The only part of me that this place hasn’t swallowed."

You saw the cracks in his armor then, the fragments of the Maia he had been before Morgoth’s shadow claimed him. You loved him—not for the darkness he had embraced but for the light you still glimpsed beneath it, the part of him that mirrored your yearning to create and belong.

The Orcs, the grotesque fruits of Morgoth’s command, haunted you. Their twisted forms were a blight upon the beauty you once nurtured, yet you could not deny your part in their creation. You stood in the dim chambers where Mairon worked, your hands trembling as your song, distorted and broken, lent vitality to the corrupted flesh. You hated what you were doing, but you could not turn away.

Mairon watched you as you labored; his expression was unreadable. "You despise this," he said, his voice neither condemning nor cruel.

"How could I not?" you whisper, your voice raw. "They are a perversion of Eru’s design."

He steps closer, his presence a fire that comforts and threatens to consume you. "And yet they endure," he says, his tone almost reverent. "Is that not a kind of beauty?"

You cringed at his words, for they echo your unspoken thoughts. You clung to the hope that your presence here, your touch, might make some difference, however slight, in the fates of these ruined beings. It is this fragile hope that sustained you.

Your love for Mairon was tested daily, strained by the darkness surrounding him and the horrors you could not escape. He grew colder, more consumed by Morgoth’s ambitions, and his brilliance turned toward dominion and control. Yet there were moments when he was still the Mairon you knew—the golden craftsman whose work once filled you with awe.

One night, you tell him, "You are losing yourself." You stood together atop one of Angband’s balconies, the air thick with ash and the faint glow of distant fires.

His eyes flash with frustration. "And what would you have me do? Defy Morgoth? Do you think his wrath would spare us—or anyone?"

"I would have you remember who you are," you plead, your voice trembling. "What you are capable of beyond this."

He looks at you then, his gaze softening. For a moment, the mask falls, and you see the man you once loved, unshadowed by ambition. He reaches for you, his hand brushing your cheek. "You are my light in this darkness," he murmurs. "But even the brightest star cannot banish the night."

The weight of your deeds in Angband became unbearable. You could not ignore the growing hordes of Orcs; their existence reminded you of your complicity. Even your song, once a source of solace, now carried the dissonance of the darkness you had helped shape. The world outside Angband felt like a distant memory you feared you might never reclaim.

Mairon changed, too. His ambition hardened his devotion to Morgoth, which deepened as he forged ever-greater weapons and made plans that spanned ages. He became a figure you barely recognized, his brilliance now a cold, calculating force. The love you shared remained but was fragile, strained by the weight of your choices and the shadow that loomed between you.

The moment came when you could no longer endure. The darkness, horrors, and widening chasm between you and Mairon were too much. You stood before him in your shared chambers, your decision etched into your weary expression.

"I cannot stay," you said, your voice steady despite the ache in your heart.

He turns to you, his gaze sharp. "And where will you go? To the Valar? To Yavanna? Do you think they will welcome you after all you’ve done?"

You faltered at his words, but you steeled yourself. "I do not know," you admitted. "But I cannot remain here. I cannot watch you become... this."

For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, with a heavy sigh, he stepped closer, his hands resting on your shoulders. "You have always been too good for this place," he said softly. "Too good for me."

You reached for him, your fingers brushed against his. "Come with me," you whispered. "We can leave this behind. Together."

But he shook his head, his eyes dimmed with sorrow, his voice barely a whisper. "I cannot. Morgoth’s will binds me now. But go, Nelyanna. Go, and take what light you have left with you."

For a brief moment, freedom had been yours—a fleeting taste of something sweet, intoxicating, and long denied. You had summoned every ounce of strength to leave Angband behind, to step out of its suffocating shadow. But even as you ran, you knew deep down it was already too late. Morgoth's reach extended far, and his grasp was unrelenting.

And in your heart, you knew who had betrayed you. Mairon. It could only have been him. The thought pierced you like a dagger, the weight of his betrayal heavy on your soul. He had known you were gone. He had known, and still, he had chosen to inform Morgoth.

The Orcs came for you swiftly, creatures you had helped bring into existence, their twisted forms a cruel mockery of what you once stood for. They drug you back through the blackened halls of Angband, their claws tearing at your skin as they hauled you to the dungeons. You struggled, but it was futile. Their strength was overwhelming, their cruelty unrelenting.

And then you saw him.

Standing in the shadows, fiery red hair catching the dim torchlight, dark eyes gleaming with malicious satisfaction. Mairon. He watched silently as you were drug past him, his expression unreadable at first. But then it came—the smile. That cruel, sadistic smile that cut deeper than any blade. It was a look you would never forget, one that would haunt you in the depths of your despair.

He did not speak. He did not need to. The smile alone was enough to etch itself into your memory, a reminder of how far he had fallen—and how deeply he had betrayed you.

Your eyes snapped open, the subtle shift in the air alerting you to another presence. You turned, your gaze settling on Adar as he approached from the shadows. He moved quietly, his steps deliberate, and though unarmed, the absence of his sword did nothing to diminish the weight of his presence. He stopped just beyond the bars, his dark eyes meeting yours with an intensity that suggested he had been waiting for this moment.

“I remember stories—myths, really—of fallen Maiar,” he said, his voice calm but laced with intrigue. His gaze lingered as though searching your face for a reaction. “Twisted and tortured by Morgoth to serve as his spies.”

The sound of your Maia name on his lips froze you momentarily back when you had been first brought before him. It had been centuries since you had last heard it spoken by anyone other than Mairon, centuries since anyone had dared to acknowledge the truth of what you once were. You straightened slightly, forcing calm into your voice. “I am no longer that.”

A soft, almost knowing smile curved Adar’s lips as he leaned closer to the bars, his voice lowering as though he were sharing a secret. “No? And yet, I was there when you gave me new life.”

Your throat tightened at his words. You lowered your gaze to your bound hands, the memories he invoked stirring a deep ache within you. “I parted ways with that life long ago,” you said, your voice quieter now. “You know that. You were there.”

Adar inclined his head in acknowledgment, his movements slow and deliberate. “I saw you then—on that nameless peak, standing beside Sauron. Your beauty was... unmatched. Untouched by darkness. You offered me—” He paused, his eyes searching yours.

“I offered you something no being could resist,” you murmured, cutting him off as the memory surfaced, sharp and vivid. Your voice softened as you recalled your words to the elf he had been before his fall. “I offered you a chance to sin. To taste something so beautiful it would hurt to refuse.”

Adar’s lips quirked in a faint smile, though his expression remained distant, contemplative. “But I resisted.”

“You did,” you replied, leaning forward slightly. “You dared not diminish what you thought was divine beauty.”

“But it was already gone,” he said softly, as though the admission were for himself as much as for you.

A bitter laugh escaped you. “What you saw was an illusion,” you said, your voice edged with something sharper than sorrow. “My so-called beauty was a mask, a lie. The real me—what Morgoth had twisted me into—was hidden beneath.”

For a fleeting moment, you thought you saw something shift in his eyes. A flicker of emotion you could not name, a shadow of hurt or regret.

“You could leave this cage at any time, but why have you not,” he said after a long pause, changing the subject as he straightened and gestured to your surroundings.

“He has no power over me,” you replied sharply, your tone brittle. “Just as I have little left of my own.”

Adar regarded you thoughtfully, his head tilting ever so slightly. “Redemption,” he said, at last, his voice soft and almost nostalgic. You spoke of it often before you parted ways. “I imagine you did not find the reception you hoped for.”

The question struck a nerve, and you looked away, your fingers tightening around the chains binding your wrists. Adar’s perceptiveness was unnerving. “You’re not wrong,” you admitted after a pause, your voice barely above a whisper. “I returned to Aman as I thought I must. I repented. But the punishment they gave...” You trailed off, its weight pressing against your chest.

“They did not forgive,” Adar said, his tone laced with sympathy and the faintest hint of bitterness.

“They forgave,” you corrected, “but they did not forget. I was stripped of my gifts, condemned to this form—an elven maiden with mortal needs for sleep and sustenance. They called it mercy.”

Adar watched you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then he moved closer to the bars, his voice quiet but insistent. “And now? Do you regret it? Choosing their mercy over your power?”

Your lips parted, but no answer came. In your silence, Adar nodded as though your hesitation was answer enough. “You may think yourself diminished,” he said, his voice soft but steady. “But even now, I see the fire in you. They may have caged you, stripped you of what you were—but they have not broken you.”

His words lingered in the dark, a faint echo against the silence. For the first time in an age, you felt something stir within you—a flicker of the light you thought had been extinguished long ago.

You had been here before, locked in a dance of words with Adar, the echoes of a similar conversation reverberating in your memory. Then, it had been after he had murdered your husband. In the wake of that act, you had felt a bitter sense of freedom—freedom from Mairon’s relentless grip on your mind and heart. Yet, that freedom had been cold, a hollow existence devoid of the heat of his adoration and the unyielding devotion he had once offered you, even as he betrayed you time and time again.

As he was doing now with Lady Galadriel.

Adar had always known you would run back to Mairon, as inevitable as the tide’s return to the shore. He knew the Great Deceiver’s web was spun too tightly around you, the threads of his influence woven through every fiber of your being. You could proclaim your freedom all you wished, but Adar saw the truth: Mairon’s shadow still loomed over you. And Adar knew as well as you did that Mairon would come for you. Whether to reclaim you, punish you, or silence you for all that you knew, he would come.

You summoned what strength remained within you, your hands gripping the cold iron bars as you pushed your face forward, so close that your breath mingled faintly with Adar’s. “What do you want, Uruk?” you demanded, your voice sharp, cutting.

Adar tilted his head, considering you, his dark eyes unreadable. Then, with deliberate slowness, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your tangled hair. With a gentleness that was startling, he tucked a loose strand behind your ear, a gesture that made your skin crawl even as it caught you off guard.

“I want him gone,” he said at last, his voice quiet but firm. “And I want your children to be free.”

You leaned back, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Free?” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “You speak of freedom while I sit in a cage.”

Adar’s expression remained steady, unfazed by your scorn. “I want them to have a home,” he continued, his voice steady, almost pleading. “A place where they will never have to live in fear. Would you not want that for your children?”

His words struck a nerve, and your glare sharpened as you spat, “They are not my children.”

The bitterness in your voice was palpable, and you saw the faintest flicker of something in Adar’s expression—perhaps understanding, perhaps disappointment. “I despise their creation,” you continued, your tone colder now. “They are the reason I am caged in this body.”

Adar studied you for a long moment, his gaze unrelenting. You could feel the weight of his scrutiny as though he sought to unravel the tangled threads of your emotions. But whatever thoughts lingered behind his dark eyes, he kept them to himself, and the silence between you grew heavy, laden with unspoken truths.

You turned away from Adar’s gaze, the weight of his presence pressing down on you like a stormcloud. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you began, your voice low and worn. “I was taken against my will,” you said, the words falling like stones into the silence. “Forced to be Morgoth’s bearer of fruits, manipulated by Sauron to love him and to carry out his master’s will, even as every fiber of my being recoiled in disgust.”

Your hands trembled, and you clasped them tightly in your lap to steady yourself. “I always saw something in him,” you continued, your voice thick with emotion. “A light buried beneath the darkness, faint and fleeting. I clung to it in those days when hope was but a whisper. I thought, if I pulled hard enough, if I could reach deep enough, I could bring him back. That we might love as Aulë and Yavanna do—partners in creation, equals in devotion.”

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and sharp in the dim space between you and Adar. “But it was always an illusion.”

The confession hung in the air as you leaned back against the bars, seeking distance from Adar’s unyielding gaze. The cold metal pressed against your back was a small anchor, a reminder of where you were—and why. “I thought my light could fix him,” you said after a long pause, your voice quieter now, tinged with sorrow. “But that was never the case.”

You tilted your head back, staring into the stars above. A lone tear touched your cheek. “He never loved me,” you said, the words raw, torn from the depths of your soul. “He never wanted me—not for who I was. He wanted my power, my gifts, the pieces of me he could use to further his own ambitions.”

Your fingers clenched against your bounds as you added, your voice breaking, “And now that I no longer have it, he seeks another. Another source of power to manipulate. Another pawn to use.”

The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the faint sound of your unsteady breathing. Adar said nothing, his presence heavy and watchful, as though waiting for you to find your way through the jagged shards of your confession. “I will give you their name,” you said, “but please, let me leave this cage.”

Adar remained silent for a long moment, his dark eyes piercing through you as though weighing the sincerity of your plea. At last, he spoke, his tone calm but edged with something unyielding. “You will give me the name,” he said, his words deliberate and measured. “And I will think about letting you free.”

You stared at him in disbelief, the weight of his response settling heavily in your chest. You had bared your soul to him, laid out your deepest secrets and the fragile hope that you might escape Mairon’s shadow. And still, he held you here, bound and helpless.

“You do not trust me,” you said, raising a brow, your voice laced with disbelief.

Adar inclined his head slightly, his gaze steady and unrelenting. A faint smile touched his lips, though it lacked warmth. “You have never given me a reason to, my lady.”

The words struck like a blade, and you felt their truth cut deep. Whatever bond you once shared with Adar was buried beneath layers of betrayal and mistrust. He was not wrong—but that did not make the sting any less bitter.

[sansaorgana]

THE RINGS OF POWER MASTERLIST

BACK TO MASTERLIST

✿ SAURON

➽ “Kingdom of Disturb” — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader

➽ “Daughter of The Moon” — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader (Celebrimbor's Daughter) » PART I » PART II » PART III

➽ “Blessed” — Sauron x fem!half-Elf!Reader » PART I » PART II » PART III

➽ “In Perpetuity” — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader » PART I [nsfw] » PART II [nsfw]

➽ “Someplace Better” — Sauron x fem!human!Reader » PART I » PART II » PART III

➽ “Forever Bound” — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader

➽ “Humbled” — Sauron x fem!Vala!Reader // Morgoth x fem!Vala!Reader » PART I [nsfw] » PART II [nsfw]

➽ “Inappropriate Friendship” [nsfw] — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Celebrimbor x fem!Elf!Reader

➽ “Chrysalis” — Sauron x fem!half-Vala/half-Elf!Reader (Morgoth's Daughter) » PART I » PART II

➽ “The Serpent Queen” — Sauron x fem!Maia!Reader

➽ “Once Upon a Dream” — Sauron x Moreth (OC)

✿ ADAR

➽ “Fading Light” — Adar x fem!Elf!Reader » PART I » PART II

➽ “Protecting That Which Is Most Fragile” — Adar x fem!Elf!Reader

✿ SAURON & ADAR

➽ “Deception” — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader