#adamoparrish

[autoneurotic]

OOOOOohg what kinda magazines

thank you for asking mwah

there’s MORE too, couple of cooking ones, some Real Simple which my mama always read when i was a kid and i in turn have a soft spot for :) jazzed in particular about the atlas of the bible and the night sky, the farmers almanac, and the watercolor painting magazine (last photo)! life’s 100 beautiful places was like. beautiful. they didn’t lie about that one.

[selkielore]

77!!

miya folick’s cover of i’ll follow you into the dark 😖

[adamparrishcryingclub]

CAN YOU please expand upon the "management having something to do w hands in latin" thing i beg of u

I answered this here a bit ago, but it’s likely just completely 100% in my head, but it’s fun to believe it’s intentional:

https://adamparrishcryingclub.tumblr.com/post/189091363204/wdym-by-management-is-a-latin-hand-joke-well-ok

[anthonycrowleymoved]

me, seeing that worcester is mentioned as being the worst? angr. me seeing ur tags? Placated. anyway fuck springfield

fuck springfield !!!!

[kadebronson]

i wish i could call off for being sick but a cold doesn’t cut it (it’s messed up i know) i’m just lucky that they switched me around because originally i worked saturday and then had sunday and monday off so it ended up i had the two worst days to be miserable on my own lol

oh no! tis the season sadly i hope you feel better soon too!

[tamquaam]

05 and pynch pretty please make it sad with a side of sad

05: Please don’t do this (thank u so much for sending a number, hope u like!) 

The Barns were always especially quiet. The ever present silence could usually be broken up into three kinds. There was the calm quiet of nights spent studying skin, the eerie quiet of a dreamer at work, and the natural quiet of a place hidden from the rest of the world.

Ronan discovered a fourth quiet. The kind that came after a storm swept through and left everything in pieces. The kind that meant the storm still silently brewed, waiting to let loose again. He and Adam sat in its eye on opposite sides of the house, away from each other, away from the wreckage.

In less than a month, Adam would be off to Harvard. In less than a month, they would have to say goodbye to the summer and each other. The mere thought of not having Adam around scared Ronan. What if Adam found someone better? What if he just couldn’t deal with long distance on top of school? What if they grew apart? Questions taunted Ronan every day and he fed into them, let them decide the answers for themselves.

They talked about it a couple of times. Adam assured that Ronan was being ridiculous and in return, Ronan promised to always be around for Adam to come back.

“As long as you’re in, I’m in.”

Ronan convinced himself it would be fine until he couldn’t anymore. Till he couldn’t trust himself to believe Adam, till he realized just how much better off Adam might be without him and let it poison them both.

They bickered frequently enough as it was, but with Ronan’s doubts and Adam’s frustration hardly kept at bay anymore, they only fought more.

Every fight, every apology, every kiss to promise they would be ok led to this. Ronan was sitting quietly at the kitchen table when Adam walked in. He heard the scuff of Adam kicking off his shoes, heard the familiar creak of the floorboards. He popped his head in to greet Ronan, but Ronan heard his breath cut off. Adam crossed Ronan’s line of sight to the sink where he wet a paper towel. He pulled a chair up next to Ronan and moved to wipe the black matter from Ronan’s nose, but Ronan snatched it away at the last second.

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked, stung.

Ronan couldn’t even look at him.

“This,” Ronan answered quietly. “Everything about this is wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

Ronan wiped his nose roughly, shook his head, didn’t answer right away.

“This,” Ronan repeated. “Us. Me being whatever I am and you having to fucking worry about it all the time.”

“Ronan-”

“I don’t want-”

“We are not wrong,” Adam argued. “We… you’re one of the only things that’s right,” he admitted softly.

Ronan’s eyes burned. He turned away to hide them from Adam, to avoid seeing if Adam’s looked the same.

“You’re leaving,” Ronan said.

“How many times did I ask you to tell me if you wanted me to stay?”

“I don’t!”

Ronan shot up from his seat and Adam followed. “I don’t want you to stay, Parrish. You’re leaving for something so much more than me and Henrietta and this,” Ronan explained, gesturing frantically between himself and Adam.

“Jesus, Ronan, it’s not more it’s just different.”

“Please,” Ronan scoffed. “You know it’s bigger than this. You’re bigger than all this.”

Adam rubbed his hand over his face, combed through his hair with a bit of extra pull. “Please tell me what you’re trying to say,” he said tiredly, exasperation laced through each word.

Ronan looked from Adam to the floor.

“We can’t do this anymore,” Ronan said, as quietly as he could manage.

“Excuse me?”

Ronan hated the way Adam’s accent sounded so strong, how his voice cracked just a bit.

“We can’t do this anymore,” Ronan repeated, this time looking directly into Adam’s eyes even though just doing so turned Ronan’s heart into a block of ice. “I can’t hold you back anymore.”

Adam’s face fell, but in a split second his lips turned up at the corners. A laugh, if you could call it that, fell from his lips, a bitter, angry sound.

“That’s really fucking great, Ronan. Decide for me what I need. You had the whole summer to pull this shit, but you chose now.”

“I’m not pulling anything,” he said.

“You’re breaking up with me because you decided that’s what’s best for me,” Adam spat. “That’s not fair.”

“You’re not as smart as I thought if you think it’s not what’s best,” Ronan shot back.

Adam’s eyebrows quirked like he was impressed by Ronan’s attitude and he scoffed, shook his head.

“You’re a coward,” Adam said, eyes narrowed and mouth a straight line.

“No I’m not.”

“Yes, Ronan, you are. You’re too scared to even try to see this through,” Adam said.

“C’mon,” Ronan groaned. “As if you don’t know this isn’t going to last.”

Adam shrunk back and Ronan felt the hate he always harbored for himself start to spread.

“Admit it. It’s for the best.”

“I’m not admitting shit if it’s not true.”

“Dammit, Adam, get it through your head, ok? This is over,” Ronan nearly shouted. “It’s over.”

Just as loud and with just as much heat, Adam told him this wasn’t fair. The fire only burned more furiously, suffocating them both. They screamed back and forth, Adam following Ronan from room to room trying desperately to hold onto the frayed rope. Adam refused to accept Ronan’s answers, kept calling him a coward, spoke with venom in his voice like Ronan had never heard. Ronan shot back relentlessly, every word burying the knife deeper into Adam and himself.

They went on for nearly two hours, hands thrown up in the air, voices tired, hearts broken. Adam only backed down when his voice couldn’t hold up anymore, when he grew too tired to put on a face and fight.

“Fuck you,” was all he said as he climbed up the stairs.

Ronan waited till he heard his bedroom door slam shut before he backed into the closest wall and slid down, let his head fall into his hands.

He needed to do this. He needed to let go, they needed to let each other go.

Ronan heard the telltale footsteps of Adam pacing upstairs. They stopped a while later and Ronan still hadn’t moved from the floor. Ronan lost track of time and when he finally stood up and stalked to the bottom of the stairs, it was close to three in the morning. He sighed and forced himself to go up, opened the door as quietly and cautiously as he could manage. He wouldn’t exactly have been upset if Adam threw something at him to keep him out. Ronan poked his head in and Adam was on the floor just as Ronan had been. Back to the wall, defeated. Ronan hated to see it.

Ronan dropped down next to him and Adam lifted his head, but looked away. He sniffled and when he spoke his voice was hoarse.

“This is where we had our first kiss.”

Ronan thought if he flattened his hands to the floor, broken pieces of what they had been would cut into his palms. He didn’t say anything, but he did look at Adam. His eyes were red and just a little puffy, like they might get when he overslept. Adam met his eyes and Ronan noted how tired he looked, how worn. Ronan did this to him. Ronan would always do this.

They quietly watched one another and Adam broke the heavy silence first, his voice gravelly when he spoke.

“Please don’t do this,” he said softly.

“Adam,” Ronan pleaded, but Adam shook his head.

“You’re scared. I know that. You don’t think I am, too?”

“What do you have to be scared of?”

“Jesus, Ronan, everything,” he admitted. “I’m excited and I’m ready for it, but it’s still scary. One of the scariest parts is leaving you,” he added. “I thought I would always have you to come back to. You promised me that.”

Adam’s voice wobbled, thickened with the stones that settled in his throat and made it hard to talk.

“You deserve so much more than me and this place,” Ronan told him.

“No. I deserve what I want and so do you. You are not bad for me, Ronan, you aren’t this- this monster that you’ve decided you are.”

“I don’t want to hold you back. I can’t do that to you and I can’t let you do it to yourself.”

“Ronan, you’ve told me over and over to go to Harvard. You’ve helped me with the shitbox, you’ve offered the BMW, you’ve told me how well I’m going to do there and not to worry,” Adam went on. “How have you ever held me back?”

Ronan’s head hung low.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me,” Ronan explained. “I’ve lost everyone, I almost lost Gansey,” he said, voice threatening to break. “I can’t fucking lose you too, Parrish.”

“So instead of losing me, you’re letting me go,” Adam filled in the blanks. “Because if you leave first, it won’t hurt the same.”

Ronan laughed darkly. “Oh, I think it hurts the same.”

“Then don’t do this,” Adam said again.

He pushed away from the wall and fixed himself in front of Ronan, reached for him with cautious hands. When Adam’s fingers touched Ronan’s cheek, a tear fell that was quickly followed by another. Ronan shut his eyes tight in hopes to keep the barriers steady.

“Listen to me, Ronan. I want to hate you right now, but I can’t and do you know why?” Adam paused for a moment as if he was giving Ronan time to answer, but Ronan feared what might happen if he opened his mouth. “Because I love you, asshole. How can you think I’m going to leave you or forget you when-” Adam paused again, in search of the right words, “-you’re home, Ronan?”

Ronan cursed under his breath and Adam kept his hands on either side of Ronan’s face.

“I get to decide for myself what’s best for me and that’s you. Nothing is going to change that and I wish you trusted me enough to know it’s the truth.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust, Parrish,” Ronan said.

“It sure as hell feels like it is.”

Another tear spilled down Ronan’s cheek and Adam wiped it away.

“I don’t want to let go of us, Ronan,” Adam said evenly. “Please don’t make me if it’s not what you really want, either, ok?”

Ronan nodded once and then again, kept nodding even as he reached out to desperately pull Adam onto his lap and hold onto him like his life depended on it.

“I’m sorry,” he said into Adam’s neck. “I’m scared of fucking up Harvard for you, I’m scared you’re going to find someone better.”

Adam clung to him just as tight. Ronan apologized again, forehead against Adam’s and Adam shook his head.

“I need time,” Adam said. “You hurt me, Ronan.”

“I know.”

Adam wiped Ronan’s cheek again and stood up, pulled Ronan with him. The sky was still deep blue, but maybe a shade or two lighter. The line of treetops out the window was more visible than it was during the darkest hour of the night.

“I think I’m going to St. Agnes,” Adam said tiredly.

“You can stay.”

“I know.”

Ronan understood. He was pissed to put it extremely lightly.

“Do you work?”

“Not today.”

Ronan followed Adam downstairs and leaned against the doorway as Adam walked out.

“Can I pick you up later?”

Adam nodded and stayed close to Ronan for a few beats. He gently knocked his forehead against Ronan’s and Ronan closed his eyes, pushed back with gentle force so that their noses brushed.

“Go,” Adam commanded gently. “Sleep. Dream. We’ll be alright.”

Ronan nodded and didn’t shut the door until Adam was no longer in sight. He climbed back upstairs and fell into bed, rubbed at tired eyes. Guilt made it hard to settle down, but when sleep finally claimed him, he dreamed of a familiar voice telling him they would be ok.

[artigas]

4 and 7!! they kinda go together: opinion on picasso?

do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art? I absolutely do, though I think it’s a far more complicated and fluid task than we’d like to think. As a literature student, this has always been the case when it comes to great works. As far as artists of any sort go, I think you are entitled to separate art from the artist because the art belongs, in some significant, deeply intimate way, to the audience/reader/viewer. Other times, you’re entitled to disengage from art because of the artist and because the corruption of the artist bleeds irrevocably into the art (Joseph Conrad was a vile racist, for example, and that much is apparent in The Heart of Darkness). At the same time, when the artist is alive, the task becomes more difficult: I think it is silly to pretend that any work exists without problematic dimension, that any artist exists without blunders or faults. Everything, simply by consequence of being made by human beings, will have it’s sins and faults and I think ... even the use of the word “problematic” has become associated to a very intolerant, very morally chauvinist and simplistic way of thinking. I don’t give two shits if we find definitive proof tomorrow that Shakespeare was a raging homophobe- I love his works and my lil gay hands are going to make them queer until the day I die. At the same time, I refuse to pay to see a Woody Allen film. When it comes to our contemporaries, I feel like fiscal support can sometimes be a very tricky but added component. Should we be contributing to the financial success of someone like Roman Polanski? Perhaps not. What about the fact that everything we pay to consume has likely passed the hands of at least one absolutely abhorrent person, unbeknownst to us? Ethical consumption isn’t entirely possible in this regard. And when you draw your moral lines, they may look different than that of others- I don’t think we need Allen’s film for cinema to flourish, but others would disagree because Annie Hall will always mean the world to them. C’est la vie. Opinion on... As far as Picasso goes, I can’t pretend to know much about the artist in depth. I know the usual spiel about him: a bully, a violent misogynist, a sexual creep. I don’t think those things are untrue. He was also intimate friends with Gertrude Stein. The reality of his person is obviously not comfortable and wholly good, but perhaps he wasn’t entirely evil. And, well, even if he was- let’s say he was an absolute garbage fire of a person. He still contributed to the world of art in a way that was incredibly significant. I think that if the world never saw a Picasso starting today, perhaps art would lose something indeed. That said .... lmao I always had the snotty, indignant idea he was vastly overrated and his art personally doesn’t do anything for me lmao

[gansaey]

omg i read a little life over a year ago but holy shit, im still not fucking over it. what a dense, beautifully written book. and not enough people know about it on here!!

yeah i don’t think i’ll get over it anytime soon, it’s one of those stories that you just know will stick with you for a long time. i first heard of it two years ago tho i decided not to read it then but it somehow remained on the back of my mind as “that emotionally gripping depressing book”, and i guess i wish i read it sooner…

and yea ur right ppl over here don’t rly talk abt it i guess cos it’s an adult book (while it’s mostly YA lit around here) and the heavy and very triggering subject matter isn’t for everyone but… but… i know like 4 ppl at least now and 5 i guess including me so that’s a start ahaha

it was An Experience reading this book tho and it’s smth i’d recommend to those who can handle it and are a sucker for painful stories

[kerahs]

61, 75

thank you love ❤

61: If you could live in any era, which would it be and why?

girl….. ok, can i live in the 90′s? lame i know, but hear me out: we see all the bad things now because we’ve evolved, we know more now. i only have these romanticized versions of the renascence and the great philosophers era, but let’s be realist: i’d probably die of some disease or food poisoning real quick.

75: Any weird talents?

does “watching a show on my phone while standing on a crowded bus whose driver goes away too fast on turns” counts? if so,

some hella cool asks

[brtycrouchjr]

probs the deathly hallows sign! (or is that Far Too Basic)

i would totally get the deathly hallows symbol somewhere! also i love your url ♥

if you had to suggest a tattoo for me based on what you know of me from my blog, what would it be?

[shutupmoz]

ok REAL thank and bless u tbh

[patrocles]

guava, raspberry!

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

well i’ve never actually worn make up a day in my life. but i wish i could pull off that dark and dramatic look to fit my dark and dramatic lifestyle

raspberry: favorite flower?

cabbage roses and orange blossoms

[softpran]

*spam likes ur posts* i hope this is reaching her in sleep

yes i had the sweetest dreams about u

[palisadeswasp]

adamoparrish replied to your post “tbt to this one internet friend who was like “i hate how many white...”

the tags are me

gsdlfhgsldkfjhgsldkhjfg I still have her on snapchat

[squiddtastic]

i was tagged by @gharasham and @thedevilishlyangelic​!!! thank you!!

5 Things I like:

writing/drawing. basically being creative, so pretty self-explanatory! one of my favourite things to do and it has been for as long as i can remember. i can also be a perfectionist which is why my current ongoing fic series is taking a while LOL but i still love to write and draw!

music. i am a huge music geek oh god afkhsgf i was in band from grades 6-12, jazz band from grades 7-12, went to honour band for 4 years, played in a drum line for 4 years, joined a student-led sax quartet for a  year, and had never auditioned for anything until university wind orchestra. absolutely dedicated to it i SWEAR. (i played the alto saxophone in band, but i’ve also been playing the piano for about 10 years! and i play some flute and ukulele. and bass drum, from when i was in drum line. basically i love music)

rambling. honestly tags like this can be real fun (and sometimes EMBARRASSING) because if not stopped i will Go Off! if you ask me to explain something i like to you then buckle up because, while i will try to restrain myself, my brain moves at like 200km/h sometimes and i might randomly just send you a big paragraph that i did not mean to write. it just Happens!

my dogs. i have 2 dogs, 6 year old Ellie (a German Shorthaired Pointer)  and 2 year old Riley (a Bernese Mountain Dog/Lab mix) and i would give them my entire LIFE! absolutely beacons of light in my life i swear they are wonderful. also honourable mention to my brother’s dog, 4 year old Harley (a Golden Retriever/Collie mix) who i looked after for about a year when he was a puppy, lovely and oh so full of excitement

tea. wow what an exciting one to end on hgjhfg but going a day without drinking tea feels super Wrong. plop some Tim Hortons tea bags in front of me and i will be incredibly content (but if you get me some Tim Hortons coffee i wouldn’t be opposed either. please i want iced coffee now i just finished my last cup of tea for the night)

i don’t know which of my mutuals do tags, so if you don’t like doing them then feel free to ignore! but i’m tagging @sebsdoeswords, @hues-of-purple, @wlwangouleme, @adamoparrish, @rhvmaresh, @nbgeralt, and whoever else would like to do it!

[lbriscoe]

hey! i was wondering what laptop you have in your spring semester post? it's so cute!!

Hi there. My laptop is a 14″ ASUS Eeebook E402, but check this answer if you want more information about it :)