#ada x freddie
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tommyxgrace-always · 1 year ago
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Tommy & Ada parallels
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Political inclination
Tommy was known to be communist/socialist before the war, dreaming about changing the world. After Grace, he eventually decides to pursue politics.
Ada also shared communist ideologies and is active to an extent with Freddie. When Tommy became MP, she naturally became his political advisor. In the finale, Tommy reiterates the fact that she was born for politics in her family.
Fine things in life
Tommy liked to possess lavish and fine things. His suits for example, In s1, we see how he gets his suits done from the same place as Kimber. In s4, we hear how he gets his suits done by a tailor in London. Similarly he admired Tatiana’s luxurious car in s3 just like the look of awe he gave May’s mansion. Arrow house was decorated with the finest things - paintings, interiors, furniture and his bedroom with Grace too.
Ada’s house in s2 said it all. The interior, the furniture everything was expensive and grand. This aspect of her personality is reiterated in s5, by showing the luxurious redecoration and also her art pieces, vases etc (when finn was too scared to ruin it with his blood)
Love & Marraige
Both married the love of their life inspite of opposition from family. Ada married Freddie even though Tommy and her brothers were against a communist. Tommy married Grace even when Polly was against her.
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Both their children were born out of wedlock. When Ada got pregnant there was ambiguity about Freddie’s intentions for her. Just when Ada lost hope and decides to be practical and abort, they have a dramatic reunion at the train station. Their love for each other is validated and they look forward to have their child. Similarly Grace got pregnant with Tommy’s child, there is ambiguity about her intentions and it seems they will go their separate ways again. Just when Tommy seems to have accepted that she will sail away and decides to be practical and be with May, they have a dramatic reunion at the Derby. Their love and longing for each other is re-validated and they look forward to have a life together.
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Both lose the love of their life. Tommy takes it way worse because of his already existing war trauma. Ada is normal and emotionally stable so she carries on without getting sucked into addictions, depression and hallucinations whereas we all know how Tommy suffered after Grace.
Both end up being widowers and single parents
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Companionship
They never looked for love again. Companions yes but not another love.
We see Ada interested in the Russian spy in s3 and later we see her with Ben Younger. There may be other men whom she saw which we don’t see onscreen. Tommy, we all know went from women to women. Prostitutes, aristocrats, communist, secretary, dead wife’s ghost, ex girlfriend’s ghost, you name it!!!
Ben Younger was Ada’s constant and the longest one we see with her. They seem to share a stable relationship like two “mutually consenting normal people” who respect each other, can share. Lizzie is a constant go-to for Tommy but they share an unequal dynamic where she has been hopelessly in love with him from beginning while he saw her as no strings attached buddy and had other priorities and is done with love after Grace. Thats why that relationship is chaotic and toxic but also convenient and practical for both.
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Interestingly they also have a child out of wedlock with their companions. The difference is Tommy had to marry Lizzie as a man who took responsibility of his child. Whereas Ada mentions she wasn’t planning to marry Ben, it’s seen as a bold move.
Ada and Ben’s relationship confirms what Grace fan always knew unlike a certain section of the fandom . Just because a partner is decent and good and you like them does not automatically mean you fell in love. Ada explains in a s5 scene after she hears of Ben’s demise “I didn’t love him. But I liked him. He was decent and good….I wasn’t going to marry him. God he didn’t deserve us”. This is exactly how Tommy and Lizzie were designed too. Due to Tommy’s trauma and unequal feelings for Lizzie, their relationship is more toxic in nature than Ada and Ben’s. But at the core it was companionship. Two people having a convenient partnership that serves both. Tommy also found Lizzie to be decent and good compared to him. She took care of his children and was loyal to him and his family. She didn’t deserve him. He didn’t love her either but liked her. He felt sorry for her as she had to bear the ultimate pain of losing a child.
There is so much more I wanted to cover about their bond. But this post will be too long. So will do a separate post.
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ginerva-mollyweasley · 2 years ago
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“so when i speak, please keep your fucking mouths closed”
ADA SHELBY → my top 50 fictional characters [47/50]
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weeo · 2 years ago
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Masterlist
PEAKY BLINDERS - TOMMY / ALFIE
• Rum is for fun and fucking 🔞 - read on A03 / Tumblr
• And whiskey is for business 🔞 - read on A03 / Tumblr
• And the gin? 🔞 - read on A03 / Tumblr
•  What's Bred in the Bone Comes Out in the Flesh (Where the Waters Do Agree - Chapter 4) - read on A03 / Tumblr
• Trust me, I’ve got you - read on A03 / Tumblr
• Sleeping Beauty - read on A03 / Tumblr
• Pick 🔞 - read on A03 / Tumblr
• Knot 🔞 - read on Tumblr 
PEAKY BLINDERS - TOMMY / LIZZIE
• It’s still you anyway - read on A03 / Tumblr
• With spring comes new hopes - read on A03 / Tumblr (Lizzie & Ada)
PEAKY BLINDERS - TOMMY / FREDDIE
• The last time I saw the sun - read on A03 / Tumblr
• It’s been a long time - read on A03 / Tumblr
PEAKY BLINDERS - OTHERS
Tommy & Charlie
• The sun always rises - read on A03 / Tumblr
Tommy & Ada
• The Interpretation of Dreams - read on A03 / Tumblr 
Tommy & Polly + Tommy / Grace
• At least, the leaves were golden - read on A03 / Tumblr
CHALLENGE
• Peaky Season 6 Response Challenge - Final Masterlist
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strawberrykisseslia · 6 months ago
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lia's masterlist
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oh, hi !
this post contains my masterlist, about me and who i write for!
requests are always open! you can request for the fandoms im in and my fav singers ( i will start to write for taylor swift as well! )
also i have no idea how to write smut, not even sure yet if im comfortable with it so yea bare with me yall
i mostly write for fem reader sorry 😞
#strawberrykissesliaworks🪩 - my works
#strawberrykissesliafavs🍓 - my fav works
wattpad: loml1a ( i will post these on wattpad too )
☁️ - fluff, ☾ - angst
➼ Celebrities
taylor swift .ᐟ
🪩 what it means to be family ☁️ ☾
🪩 suicide cleanup ☾
➼ TLOU
ellie williams .ᐟ
🪩 ghostin ☁️ ☾
🪩 lovesick ☁️
🪩 something stupid like i love you ☾
🪩 f!singer reader headcanons + scenarios ☁️
➼ RE
ada wong .ᐟ
🪩 sweetness ☁️
➼ FNAF
vanessa shelly .ᐟ
🪩 i wish you were a boy ☾ | part 2 ☾
🪩 loml ☾
🪩 white dress ☁️
🪩 this love ☁️
🪩 headache for christmas ☁️
🪩 cozy coffee date ☁️
➼ DOS (Dead Of Summer)
amy hughes .ᐟ
🪩 kitty! ☁️
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about me!
i have no idea what exactly to put here ☺️ but hey again!
i LOVE midnights and evermore. my baes
🧡🤍🩷
i write in my free time for fun and comfort, it helps me with everything honestly
please don't be disrespectful! i'm human too
fandoms: DBH, RE, TLOU, Until Dawn (haven't finished the game yet), Genshin Impact, DDLC, DOS, FNAF
favs: taylor swift (obvi), ariana grande, mitski, marina, conan gray, laufey, dua lipa, madison beer, twice, blackpink, iu, kiss of life, gidle, aespa
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divinekangaroo · 1 year ago
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Given the family naming traditions, Freddie and Ada calling their conceived out of wedlock son after Karl Marx is triply teenage-parent, middle finger up at the family, levels of hilarity.
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queenshelby · 6 months ago
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Siblings (Part One)
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Half!Sister
Warning: Incest
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It was around 10'clock at night when you heard a quiet knock on the door.  You couldn't help but feel a little surprised—and a bit nervous. You had never had a visitor this late before as usually your siblings were out, getting themselves into trouble, and your Aunt Polly, who had taken it upon herself to look after everyone, was in bed.
Your sister Ada, with whom you shared a room, had sneaked out earlier to see her boyfriend Freddy, so it was just you that night, alone in your small room, lying on your single bed, wearing a nightgown and reading a book. 
"Who is it?" you called out, your heart skipping a beat.
"It's Thomas," came the reply. His voice was quiet and calm. 
You hesitated for a moment, wondering if you should let him in that late at night. He had just come back from the war a few weeks ago and his demure had changed towards you. It was almost like he had become obsessed with you, wanting to keep you company more often than you were used to. 
Thomas was gone for five years and came back more handsome than ever.  He had a rugged jawline, and deep-set blue eyes. He wasn't tall, but well-built with a perfect gentleman's body.
The war had hardened him, made him stronger, but also wiser. He had seen the worst of humanity, and you could tell that it had affected him deeply. It was understandable; he had been through hell and back.
"May I come in?" Thomas eventually asked, his voice still composed.
Without saying a word, you stood up and covered yourself with a robe , before opening the door slowly.
The light from the hallway spilled into the room, illuminating Thomas's figure. He looked a bit tired, but his eyes were still bright and clear.
"Of course," you said finally, as you walked back to your bed and folded your book closed. 
"I have heard that there was trouble today, at the docks," Thomas  said as he sat down on the edge of your bed. He looked tired, but fatigue failed to sap the confidence and dominance from his demeanor.
You sighed and nodded. "Ada told me not to go there, but curiosity got the better of me Tommy," you admitted whereas, the truth was, that just recently you began to involve yourself with Isiah, another Peaky Blinder and your new-found love had gotten you into trouble. 
"Curiosity, eh?" Thomas chuckled, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Isiah wouldn't have anything to do with this curiosity now, would he?" he then asked, his eyes locked on yours.
You looked away, feeling a blush creeping up your cheeks. "He never meant for me to get involved, Tommy. It just kind of happened," you replied quietly, seeing how Isiah took risks and those risks involved you. 
"Listen Y/N, you are a fucking Shelby," Thomas said, his voice stern but not unkind. "And you need to be careful about who you associate with."
"But Isiah is your friend, is he not?" you asked, slightly confused with Thomas's sudden change of tone.
"Isiah works for me Love. That doesn't make him a friend," Tommy replied curtly, his gaze still fixed on you. "Despite, even if he was my friend, I wouldn't allow him to be involved with my fucking sister,"  Tommy added, the veneer of calmness cracking a bit.
You sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a knot forming in your stomach. The way things were going, it seemed as though you had made a mistake. With the tension in the room growing thicker by the second, you felt compelled to speak.
"Honestly, I don't even know why I got myself mixed up with him, Tommy," you admitted, shame coloring your voice. "I suppose I was bored," you added as an afterthought.
Thomas looked at you, his eyes narrowing as he surveyed your face. "You're better than that, Love," he finally said, his voice steady and firm. "And if boredom is what bothers you, then I am sure we can make arrangements for you to work at the betting house," he then told you a lot more gently than before, placing some stray hair behind your ear. 
"Aunt Pol won't allow it," you  said quietly, not because you didn't want to work there, but because you believed that your aunt would not approve of such an idea.
"It is not up to Pol," Thomas said shortly, his fingertips  tracing the curve of your cheek gently. "But out of curtesy, I will discuss it with her, alright?" he added after a short pause.
Before you could respond, Thomas's hand dropped from your face, and he stood up, his presence in the small room suddenly overwhelming.
"But Y/N, if you are going to continue seeing Isiah...," he began to say and you quickly interrupted him. 
"Not after today," you replied firmly. "Not after what happened at the docks. I promise," you added, reassuring your brother.
Thomas looked at you, relief visible in his eyes. "Good. I'll hold you to that Y/N," he said before leaning down to give you a peck on your forehead.
You blushed slightly, shocked by this sudden display of affection from your half-brother. But before you could react, Thomas walked out of your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and, when you settled back on to your bed, you couldn't help but wonder what just happened. Thomas and you have always had a close relationship since him and Arthur had assumed responsibility for you after your father got arrested by the police, but you have never witnessed such a display of emotion from him before.
As you lay there in the dark, the silence was broken by the moonlight filtering through the blinds. The light cast a soothing glow on the room and made the floral quilt on the twin bed look more inviting. Your mind was abuzz with thoughts, each one trying to get a different message across. You tried to silence them and focus on the recent events.
This whole situation with Thomas, your curiosity, the sudden shift in your relationship - you knew that it was not something to take lightly. It felt different, and you could not ignore the strange tension that lingered between the two of you.
You sighed deeply and turned to face the window. It was then that you noticed the stars twinkling in the night sky ever so slightly. They were there, silent and unassuming, much like Thomas. You couldn't help but wonder what was going on in his mind.
Thomas had always been a mystery to you, even before he left for France, but now it felt like there was a whole other person behind the blue eyes that you had grown up with.
Days had passed and you indeed started working at the gambling den , which was located in the heart of Small Heath. It was a bustling place, and it was chaotic during peak hours, but you found joy in the chaos. Surprisingly, Aunt Polly did not seem to mind much; she knew that this was one of the ways to keep you out of trouble.
While you were working there, your brother Thomas kept a close eye on you and as different men attempted to flirt with you, they quickly learned that you were untouchable, a notion further solidified by Thomas’s warning glares.
On two occasions, he even threatened gamblers with a gun after you were propositioned for a date, and it was clear to you that he wasn’t playing around. Thomas Shelby never made idle threats, after all.
"You do realise that most of these men are harmless, Tommy,"  you said to Thomas one evening, after you had closed the betting shop for the night. The sky was a deep indigo and the stars were shining brightly.
Thomas looked at you, his eyes sharp and piercing. "That may be true, but you are my sister and they need to show you some fucking respect,"  he retorted, his voice steadier than before.
"But Tommy," you began, still unsure of what to make of this sudden outburst. "I am capable of handling my own affairs. I can fend them off," you assured your brother who appeared somewhat overprotective of you.
"I am sure you are," Thomas agreed, a hint of amusement in his voice. "But what kind of employer would I be if I did not at least protect my employees from unwanted advances, eh?" he asked, one corner of his mouth twitching upwards in a half-smile.
"A pretty shite one I suppose," you admitted, returning his half-smile with a lopsided grin as he locked the door.
"Exactly," he concurred, shaking his head as you stepped onto the sidewalk, right by your brother's side. "Now let me walk you home. It's late," Thomas said as he always did when you worked in his betting house until after dawn. 
As Thomas and you walked side by side, the silence between you was comfortable, but there was still something that kept niggling the back of your mind. You couldn't quite put your finger on it, but it seemed like Thomas was hiding something from you.
Nonetheless, as you walked to the house you shared with Polly, Tommy and the others, you couldn't help but steal glances at him, trying to gauge what it was that was causing this strange behavior lately.
It was like he took a liking in you that almost felt, more than brotherly, but you decided not to focus on the matter and instead enjoyed the warmth of his company while it lasted.
Days passed, and your routine at the gambling den turned into sort of a normality, despite the occasional tensions between patrons and your brother that threatened to boil over.
On evening, at your house when you and Tommy were on your own, you ought to address it, his overprotectiveness and  the strange tension that kept building between you.
But, Tommy simply brushed it off and told you that he was simply concerned for your safety.
"But I am safe here Tommy, with you and the others," you reminded him, your tone gentle yet firm. "And at the gambling house, even if some of the customers are inappropriate, it is a safe place because no one would dare to fuck with you, Arthur or John and  I think you know that," you said, unable to mask the frustration that crept into your voice.
Tommy looked down at you, his gaze intense but soft. He took a deep breath before speaking, as if choosing his words carefully.
"Y/N, I know that you can look after yourself but, what I have learned over the years, is that no one is safe. Not here, not anywhere," Thomas said, his voice still firm but softer than before.
You stared into Thomas's eyes, feeling a strange mix of emotions coursing through your veins. Awe, admiration, and... something more. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on yet.
"The war changed you, you know?"  you said the words before you could stop yourself. 
Thomas sighed and looked at you, his expression filled with a mix of sadness and guilt. "Yes, I know," he admitted quietly. "I can't help it, Y/N. I've seen and done things that most people couldn't even imagine." 
You nodded, understanding dawning on you.
"No, you are right Tommy. I can't imagine," you said softly, caressing the scar on his cheek, causing Tommy to lean in closer, his eyes locked on yours. 
You felt your heart race as you looked into Thomas's eyes. There was something about him that made you feel safe, yet also intensely aware of your feelings for him. You had never felt this way about anyone before.
"But you know what's amusing though?" you murmured, breaking the silence that had enveloped the room as Thomas leaned over some more, his fingers lightly traced your jawline, you couldn't help but play along. "You are so overprotective towards me when it comes to potential suitors and there is almost no reason for you to be that way, because I never even kissed a boy before, so it just seems so absurd to me," you continued, allowing yourself to drop your guard, just a little.
"I find that hard to believe, Y/N," Thomas murmured, the pad of his thumb brushing the corner of your lips before slowly moving to trace the length of your jawbone.
Your breath hitched in your chest, hearing his low voice uttering your real name; you always felt an odd sense of familiarity from him, especially when he chose to use your given name, just for a brief moment. It almost felt like the two of you were not step-siblings. 
"No, it's true. I never kissed a boy before, Tommy," you confessed, the words slipping out before you could stop them. You didn't know what had come over you, but suddenly, you couldn't help but feel drawn to your half-brother. "What is it like?" you
asked, your lips barely moving as Thomas continued to trace a path along your jawline.
"What's what like?" Thomas asked, his voice low and husky, as he leaned in even closer to you.
"Kissing," you clarified, a slight blush creeping up your cheeks as you admitted this.
Thomas seemed taken aback by the question, his gaze lingering briefly on your lips before meeting your eyes again.
"I guess it depends on who you are kissing," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Sometimes, it's just a kiss and it feels like nothing because it means nothing. But other times, it's more than that. It can be a way to express your feelings for someone. To show them how much you care about them," Thomas explained, his gaze still locked on yours.
"Do you think you could show me?" you whispered, surprising yourself with your own boldness.
Thomas's eyes narrowed as he looked at you, taking in your flushed cheeks and the way your breathing had quickened.
"Seeing that you are my sister, that would be inappropriate, don't you think?"  Thomas said, a subtle hint of amusement in his voice. 
"It's just a kiss, Tommy," you replied, a nervous laugh escaping your lips. "And no one needs to know," you continued, your heart pounding in your chest as you confessed this vulnerable part of yourself to your brother.
Thomas looked at you, his eyes searching yours as he processed your words. You could see the wheels turning in his head, and for a moment, you wondered if he was going to tell you no . But then something shifted in his gaze, a heat that made your heart race.
"Alright. Fuck it," Thomas muttered, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.
You gasped slightly, surprised by how sudden the kiss was and how soft and gentle his lips were.
Your  hands reached up to grip his arms, feeling the firm muscles beneath your fingertips as you leaned into the kiss. Thomas's other hand reached up to tangle in your hair, pulling you closer as he deepened the kiss.
Not knowing what to do, you followed his lead and when he parted his lips, you did the same before tentatively touching your tongue to his, experimenting with the new sensation. 
Your brother's lips were warm and as the kiss deepened, you felt a fire ignite within you, spreading from your core to every inch of your body. Your heart was racing as Thomas's hand dropped down from your hair, tracing a path around your neck as he deepened the kiss once more before, suddenly,  he pulled away.
You stared at Thomas, your lips still tingling from the kiss. You could see a storm of emotions raging within his eyes, but you couldn't quite decipher what he was feeling. Was it guilt? Shock? Excitement? Pleasure?
"I am sorry Love, but I have business to attend to," he told you with a horse  voice, his breathing heavy and uneven from the kiss.
You nodded, trying to catch your breath as well. You could feel a blush spreading across your cheeks as you moved away from him, giving him some much-needed space. Thomas looked at you, his eyes heated with desire, before turning away and leaving the room without another word.
Even after he had left. a jolt of pleasurable heat still lingered on your lips where Thomas’s mouth had just been, you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Your stepbrother, fucking Thomas, he had just kissed you and you didn’t know if you should feel guilty about it or if you should be elated.
“You’re an idiot,” you muttered to yourself as you ran your fingers through your hair, still feeling dazed. Your mind was racing, replaying the image of Thomas kissing you, over and over again.
Your lips were still tingling from the contact, but the room felt cold and empty once he left, leaving you alone with your tumultuous thoughts.
You couldn't believe what had just happened. Thomas had kissed you. He fucking kissed you and you were the one that had asked him to do it. 
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xoxoavenger · 1 month ago
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I just read all of your Thomas Shelby x reader and i fell in love with all of it 😍
I honestly don't have any idea or specific request for you but i will send you these GIF in hope that maybe they will spark something for you to write.
Now that i have pick these i kinda realize i want some more hurt comfort 😅
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thank you so so much! I'm glad you love them. I really locked in for this to try and get an idea, so hopefully you like it!
Up The Duff
pairing: Tommy Shelby x Pregnant!Fem!Reader
word count: 2536
warnings: pregnancy, hurt w/ comfort :)
"Good of you to join us." Y/N said to Ada when she finally walked into the main room. She and Polly were having tea, gossiping about practically everyone in Birmingham.
"Where have you been all day?" Polly asked in a much flatter tone than Y/N had, looking into her tea as if she were preemptively reading the leaves through the liquid.
"In bed." Y/N raised her eyebrow while Polly picked up a news paper, sharing a look with Ada. Oh, Ada had been in bed alright; in bed with Y/N's cousin. But, Y/N was in bed with Ada's brother, so she couldn't really say anything.
She kept Ada's secret well, and for awhile, Ada kept Y/N's secret. That was, until the entire Shelby lot had walked in while Thomas had her bent over the desk, clawing at the wood like an animal.
It took quite some time for her to gather the courage to look any of the Shelby's in the eye.
"Couldn't sleep. Then I couldn't wake up. Then I was cold, and then I had to go for a wee." Ada was cutting herself some bread, and Y/N rolled her eyes as she over explained everything. "Then I was with this bear on a boat, but that was just a dream. Then I was hungry." Ada sat down across from Y/N, who sipped her tea and looked at Polly. "I've never seen you read the paper, Pol." Ada said as she put jam on her toast.
"The BSA are on strike. The miners are on strike. IRA are killing our boys, ten a day." Polly gave Ada a look, the younger girl simply licking the jam off her fingers.
"What?" Ada asked, looking between Y/N and Polly.
"Stand up," Polly told Ada, making Y/N raise an eyebrow once more.
"Why?" Ada asked, and Y/N tried to follow Polly's reasoning. She wasn't getting anywhere.
"Just stand up." Polly instructed. Y/N stood with Ada, going around the table to stand behind Polly as Ada wiped her hands. "Side on," Not even a moment later, Polly was grabbing Ada's breast, Y/N and Ada both letting out a gasp.
"What are you doing, Pol?" Y/N asked, walking up beside her. The older woman paid no mind to Y/N.
"Ada, how late are you?" Y/N's eyes widened. Was Ada pregnant?
Ada crossed and uncrossed her arms. "One week." Good, not too bad. Still a chance. "Five weeks." Ada said at the silence. Y/N looked a Polly, who was still looking at Ada. "Seven if you count weekends. I think it's a lack of iron." Ada tagged onto the end, and Y/N almost lost her breath. She knew Freddy and Ada had sex, but they weren't married, and she never thought this would have been the outcome. Polly sat down, and Ada sat next to her, causing Y/N to be on the outside behind them.
"What about those tablets?" Y/N asked, hoping to help.
"They didn't work, did they?" Polly asked, a sympathetic look on her face.
"No," Ada shook her head, and Y/N sighed. "I blame Y/N for my lack of notice. We're synced, and she hasn't asked for anything in two months, at least." It was quiet in the room as they all realized what Ada was saying.
"What? I just started buying my own." She lied, crossing her arms.
"No," Polly said, looking Y/N up and down. "Not both of you. Not two Shelby's." She begged, making the sign of the cross.
"I'm not a Shelby." Y/N informed Polly, as if she hadn't already known.
"You might as fuckin' well be!" She yelled out, making Y/N look around.
"I am not pregnant!" She yelled, taking a deep breath and calming herself down as Ada and Polly stared. She looked around, glad all the men were out. "I am not pregnant." She walked around the table and sat at the space across from the Shelbys.
"At least I've come to terms with it." Ada muttered, making Y/N scoff.
"We might not be pregnant. Just," She paused as she tried to think of a reason why her and Ada would be almost two months late.
"That's it," Polly hit the table, even though no one was talking.
"What's it?" Thomas asked as he walked in. Y/N's heart basically stopped beating for a moment, and she swore she was going to throw up.
"Y/N just came up with a new idea for jam." Ada covered, reaching over Polly to grab her toast. "Nothing special."
"Right." Thomas paused, turning to Y/N and nodding. She nodded back, giving a small smile to him. "I just came to pick up Y/N so she could get ready for our date tonight." Thomas walked over to Y/N, grabbing her hand and helping her up. His hand then went to the small of her back, and she smiled up at him.
"Oh, but she just agreed to go out with us." Polly feigned sadness, and Y/N raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, we were going to go to the new pub." Ada added, causing Y/N to squint. She didn't make any plans, and they had no reason to go out tonight.
"Oh?" Thomas questioned, and Y/N licked her lips.
"Uh, yeah," She wasn't sure the reason Polly and Ada wanted to go out, but she could guess that it had to do with their recent discoveries. "Sorry. I forgot we were going out." She bluffed, looking up again at Thomas. He cocked his head slightly, looking down at her.
Oh shit. He has to know.
"Right," Thomas looked at his family then, putting his free hand in his pocket. "Well, in that case, I will just be stealing her for the afternoon." He began to usher Y/N out, the two barely able to utter goodbye at Thomas' pace.
"Tommy, slow down!" Y/N said, tripping over her heels as they stepped out the door. He caught her, continuing all the way to the car. He helped her in as fast as he possibly could, practically pushing her across to the passenger side. "What was all that?" She asked as Thomas started the car.
"I think I should be asking you the same question." He responded, pulling into the street and driving down the road to her apartment.
"Why?" She asked, leaning against the door as she looked at Thomas. His side profile was something she could admire on a daily basis, and today was no exception.
"What was Polly talking about when I came in?" He cut straight to the chase, and she licked her lips as she shifted to face the windshield.
"The jam?" Y/N questioned, trying to stall.
"I'm not buying that shit." Thomas told her, glancing at her quickly before looking back at the road. "Just tell me what you were really talking about." He put a hand on her thigh, making her insides heat up. She forgot what they were talking about for a moment until Thomas hummed in question.
"It really was jam." She said innocently, nodding as if he were watching.
"Right," Thomas nodded, licking his lips and clearing his throat. "And this jam, what's the idea?" He questioned, still not moving his hand.
"The idea?" Y/N repeated, trying to think of something, anything, to tell Thomas.
"Yes, that's what I said." He told her, turning onto her street.
"Of course," She looked out the window; she didn't know the first thing about jams.
"Do you even know the ingredients to make jam?" Thomas asked, causing Y/N to scoff.
"Why would I have an idea for jams if I didn't know the ingredients?" Yes, this was good. She was getting him off topic.
"That's what I'm asking." He told her, not even seeming angry as he pulled up outside her building. She hopped out and met him on the other side, letting him hold her hand and lead them into the building.
"D'you want some tea?" Y/N asked as she opened the door to her apartment.
"Ah, best not. Where did Pol say you girls were going tonight?" Thomas asked, taking his hat off as he entered her small room.
"Oh, ya know, out and about." She said, pouring some water into the kettle to heat it, even though Thomas had said he didn't want any tea. She had forgotten the lie that Polly had made up already, and it made her heart sink.
"Ah, the Garrison?" He asked, taking a cigarette out and putting it in his mouth. Y/N turned, trying not to let her eyes widen.
"Could you not smoke in here, Tommy? It's a small room." She requested, walking up and taking the cigarette out of his mouth, replacing it with her own lips. He responded in kind, hands traveling to her side.
"What's really going on?" Thomas asked as they parted, causing Y/N's brain to come back much faster than she would have liked.
"What do you mean?" She whispered against his lips, trying to distract him again. Thomas was unfortunately strong willed, and he stepped back slightly.
"Come on, love. I know you don't make jam, and I know you and Ada and Pol aren't going to a pub tonight. Why're you lying to me?" He looked genuinely upset, and Y/N took a deep breath, turning back to the kettle as it whistled. As she was pouring the water, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek and pressing his face close to hers.
"Tommy," She whispered, tears in her eyes. "Tommy, I'm late." She muttered, letting a tear fall from her eye as she put the kettle down.
"Late?" He asked, and Y/N could tell he didn't understand because he hadn't tightened his arms or moved away.
"Yes," She said, not able to explain further.
"For," Thomas led off, leaning into her more causing her to spill some of her tea on herself. She hissed as she put it down, taking a deep breath.
"Tommy," She turned to him, looking up and watching his face fall as he realized she was crying.
"You're late," He said in understanding, taking a deep breath. She nodded, more tears falling down her face.
"We're going somewhere tonight," She told him, not able to look at him. "To confirm it." She kept Ada's secret, knowing that eventually Thomas would figure it out and it wasn't her place to tell him.
"I see," Thomas let go of her and walked backward running his hands over his face as he looked out the window. He licked his lips, rubbing his hands together. "How, um, how long?" He asked, finally looking at her.
"I wasn't keeping track, but, um, probably two months. Maybe 3." Her voice got quieter as she said the last part, and Thomas just nodded, looking back out the window. He then grabbed his hat and wordlessly walked out of the apartment, leaving Y/N in shock. She fell softly to the the floor then, staying there until Ada and Polly came to pick her up.
~
Tommy wasn't sure what to do.
He was feeling a lot of emotions, and his heart hadn't stopped beating out of his chest for thirty minutes. He sat on his bed, his door locked, with his hands over his face as he tried to breathe. He didn't want to leave Y/N, but he didn't want to freak out in front of her either.
How could he be a father? He knew Y/N would be a good mother, but he wasn't so sure about himself. What if he fucked up this kid? He would never be able to live with himself. And his work wasn't the greatest; he wasn't sure if he would ever get to the point where kids would be a good option.
And God, Y/N. His sweet girl. It was his fault that she would go through this, that she would have to birth a child. Was she ready for it?
He should have stayed and talked with her, he realized suddenly. He ran down the stairs and back to his car, speeding to get to Y/N's. But by the time he had got to her apartment, banging on the door and begging her to let him in, he realized she had already left to go out with Polly and Ada. And he doubted they were going to a pub.
Shit.
~
He waited outside the door, sitting in the hallway and watching multiple people walk by before Y/N finally showed up, face free of any makeup and eyes swollen, probably from crying.
"Tommy?" He had his head down against his knees, and he jerked up at the sound of her voice. He took her in, wondering if she was angry at him for leaving, before hopping up.
"I am so, so sorry," He whispers, not sure what else to say.
"Let's go inside." She offers, unlocking the door before walking in. She'll definitely have to move in with him, because he doesn't like how there's only one lock separating her from someone that may want to hurt her in order to get to him. Just the thought makes him sick, and he locks the door as soon as he closes it. It's quiet as they both try to figure out what to say, neither of them looking at each other.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips and then quickly crossing his arms instead.
"What?" She questions, not sure what Thomas was asking. She wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth, especially after he stormed out.
"When you first had the idea that you were pregnant, why didn't you come to me?" He seems so hurt, so upset, and that makes Y/N even more sad. She looks away.
"I didn't know what you would do," She tells him, tears running down her face. She looks at the floor, rambling. "We're not married, and I know you're trying to build your business and I just-"
"Do you want to be?" He cut her off, stepping closer to her.
"Want to be what?" She asked, too caught up in her worries to understand what he was asking.
"Married." He told her, completely confident. She blinked at him, not sure if he was being serious or if he was drunk.
"Is that how you're asking?" She questioned, crossing her arms and smiling slightly.
"If that's what you want," Thomas told her, grabbing her left hand and getting down on one knee. "I would be honored to be your husband." Y/N took a deep breath, trying to think about her answer.
"Are you only asking me because I might be pregnant?" She muttered, tears falling fast out of her eyes. She wanted to marry Thomas, but she didn't want him to marry her just because she was pregnant. "Because you don't have to do that," She sniffles.
"I wouldn't." He tells her, shaking his head as he puts his other knee down. He pulls her in by the waist, and she lets herself be tugged toward him, her stomach reaching his face. She cards a hand through his hair, smiling slightly.
"We'll be okay." She whispers, smiling as Thomas looks up at her. He stands, wiping her tears and pulling her in for a kiss.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover @jbrownta
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vervainandspritz · 1 month ago
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TASTE OF SHAME
Thomas Shelby x Reader
Part three
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Warnings: Dark!Thomas Shelby, manipulation, abuse, non-con/dub-con, gaslighting, violence
A/N: Sorry it took so long. I'm absolutely the worst. Another part coming in shortly
A/N2: COMMENT AND REBLOG PLEASE!
Y/N woke up feeling different than usual. The deep sense of looking forward to something was exciting. Was.. new. Y/N knew it was perhaps one of Tommy's games and not a gesture of kindness in any way, but the idea of going shopping with Ada was nevertheless exciting.
She woke up early, got appropriately dressed, and secretly hoped she wouldn't see him this day at all. It was supposed to be about her. Just today.
Only a bit before eight she went downstairs, slowly looking around to find out whether Mr. Shelby was still home or not. The Arrow house was awfully quiet, like always when Charlie was still sleeping. He wasn't a loud child, but his precious giggles were warming up the overall cold and soulless building enough to breathe some life into it. He was making it sufferable to live in.
Y/N was quiet, mindful not to wake him up as she smiled at the staff, nodding kindly while passing by. Hearing voices from the living room, she made her way through the doorways only to see Ada along with her husband, Freddie.
”Good morning, Y/N” The older woman said with a smile as soon as she saw her. The questioning glance followed after the greeting which made her chuckle. Before she could say something, her man spoke up himself.
”He would never let the two of you go on your own. It was either me or John and Arthur, so trust me, Lady. It's a better choice as it is!” Freddie spoke with an amusing drama and thick Brummy accent, making his wife swat him in the shoulder jokingly.
”He's not wrong” She admitted, sighing, and glancing sideways at her husband.
Y/N nodded lightly, smiling at the genuine contact between the two of them. It was refreshing and.. comforting, to see a glimpse of real love in the hollow walls of the Arrow House.
”It's okay. I don't mind at all” She reassured, gratefully. Her cheeks were rosy with excitement. ”I really appreciate the two of you taking me to the city. It's been... A while.”
Ada winked at Y/N before coming up closer and grasping her hands.
”Lovely then. I'd never say no to shopping with one of the ladies! It's the best time. Especially that we have a set of hands to carry our bags, indeed!”
They chuckled lightheartedly, walking to the corridor to put on their jackets along with the rest of proper clothing. Luckily, the day was nice enough to not need an umbrella.
”Let's get to it then” Y/N said as Freddie opened the door, gesturing for them to go first. Leaving the building, Y/N managed to spare one last glance towards the black, wooden door barely visible from the doorway. Mr. Shelby's office.
~~
The day was going well. Genuinely, for the first time in a long time she could honestly say it. Laughing out the tension which has been slowly gathering on her mind felt wonderful and the company of Ada and Freddie just reminded her how much she missed the careless giggles and fast heartbeat she used to feel back then.
Back when she wasn't someone's belonging. A selfish whim.
Buying all the gear was fun, trying it on and posing even more. Especially once they were done, and Ada suggested buying more clothes.
”We shouldn't,” Y/N said quietly, grabbing Ada's forearm lightly. The older woman rolled her eyes, narrowing them.
”Come on, Y/N. We're spending his money. The least he can do is pay for us!” She let out a laugh which held the mischievous hint, one she shared with all of their brothers. No matter how similar or different Shelby siblings were, they all had it.
She thought for a moment, feeling the unpleasant worry again. Her feelings were raw and visible in her eyes, fully on display as always.
”I don't know,” She said, quietly, stopping in her tracks. Ada picked up on the way her voice broke just a little bit. Moving closer she grasped her shoulders.
”I mean it. Plus, he literally GAVE me money to pay for our stuff.” She was convinced. ”Tommy is my brother, Y/N. He knows me well enough to know better than assuming I'd buy just the necessities.” Y/N shifted uncomfortably, searching in her gaze for the truthfulness to sooth her own anxiety. Looking in Ada's blood irises, she found it. But she wasn't sure just yet. ”...and Thomas loves everything about horses ever since he was a little boy. He's well aware of how much the gear would cost, honey. Yet he gave us way more.” This time her voice carried less humour, wanting to give her the comfort she needed along with reassurance.
Finally, Y/N nodded slowly, looking around and noticing that Freddie gave them some space to talk, stepping aside to smoke a cigarette yet paying attention enough to keep them safe.
Her gaze danced along the shops with bright and bold letters above the entrances, designed to encourage wealthy women to come in and spend their money. Eventually she met her friend's blue eyes again.
”Okay” She agreed, letting out a chuckle as Ada clapped happily before grabbing her hand and pulling them towards the luxury shop.
”Here we come!” She squealed and Freddie just shook his head with amusement, following them closely.
It took about half an hour to get her going. At first it was the Shelby sister who twirled between the alleys in the fairly big shop, touching and gasping over the beautiful creations. All kinds of materials, hundreds of breathtaking colours with even more breathtaking cash tags attached to them made Y/N feel uneasy, but with time... Ada's enthusiasm infected her too.
So they both giggled like young girls, trying dresses on, making funny gestures and blushing furiously as they saw themselves in the big mirror.  So unused to such a luxury, Y/N's eyes shone brightly when she saw the girl in her own reflection. So different from the one she used to see a couple long months ago.
”We're absolutely getting this one,” Ada said suddenly, ripping her out of the train of thoughts. Slowly gazing over the creation, Y/N let out a sigh, picking on the cuticles of her fingers. Looking down she swayed lightly, biting her lower lip, but before she managed to speak up, Freddie joined his wife.
”I must agree,” He said, keeping his expression serious before Ada elbowed him in the side lightly. ”You look like a real high class lady now,” He added, less formally with a small smirk, grasping Ada's hand.
Y/N blushed, so unused to any kind of male attention.
”Thank you. I hope he won't be mad.” The other part of the sentence was said quieter, almost to herself, but unfortunately all of them heard.
Plastering a fake smile onto her lips, she went back to change before they checked out, and got on the way as it was already fairly late. Clouds thinned one the sky, letting everyone see the glimpses of sunset kissing the horizon in a manner so dreamy, Y/N couldn’t help the little smile on her lips as she watched the whole scene through the window. Shopping took a bit longer than expected, as Ada planned out the whole day, making them visit all the ladies' favourites in the city centre. After coffee and sweet souvenirs from the local bakery, they took a walk around the better part of Birmingham before heading back. Around fifteen minutes it took, before Freddie was parking the car on the gravelly driveway. Sighing, Y/N looked down at her hands, knowing the great day was pretty much over now that she was here. Slowly, she moved to get out of the car, grabbing a few of the bags as Ada and her husband did the same. 
The Shelby sister noticed the shift in the air as she moved closer to Y/N rubbing her shoulder with a half smile.
“It was a wonderful day, wasn’t it? We need to do it again soon.” She said, before dramatically lowering her tone. “Next time definitely just us, without any of them,” She gestured towards Freddie with a chuckle, taking the edge off a bit as the tension loosened.
Y/N nodded, agreeing immediately as she loved the idea of having a way out every now and then. Wordlessly they walked up the stairs, greeting one of the maids after making the entrance. She took Y/N’s coat, hanging it for her once she realized Mr. and Mrs. Thorne weren’t staying. 
“Once again, thank you for the outing. I’m looking forward to the next time,” The younger woman said with a genuine honesty in her voice, revealing how much it actually meant to her.
“Anytime,” Freddie responded, winking as he grasped Ada’s hand once she hugged Y/N.
“Of course.” She added, turning around as they started walking away before stopping once again, “Oh, and tell Tommy you’re home already, will you?” And with that, they were gone. 
Y/N considered seeking out Tommy right then, but she was tired from the outing and wanted to change into a more comfortable dress to lounge at home. Once in her room, she was increasingly tempted by her soft inviting bed. As soon as she settled in her soft sheets all her new things still in the shopping bags became distant memories, just like the thought of making her way to Mr. Shelby’s office. Exhaustion overtook her tired mind and before she knew it, she fell asleep. 
Hours passed, and on the other side of the house, Thomas was sitting by his desk. A half empty glass of whiskey stood to his left, as he slowly sipped on it with no rush. He lost count of all the paperwork he’d done today and the end was still nowhere to be seen. Taking off his glasses, he rubbed his eyes which became tired from all the reading and writing. 
Suddenly the silence of the room got interrupted by quiet footsteps right by the door. Tommy glanced at the clock, realizing how late it already was. Without knocking the door knob turned as the wooden door gave way to a familiar silhouette. 
Y/N rubbed her eyes, as she walked in. Her feet bare against the cold floor which wasn’t too pleasant, yet useful in a way to keep her awake. 
He watched wordlessly, after putting his glasses back on. As she slowly moved from the doorway towards his desk, eventually slumping into the armchair. She avoided his eyes, feeling guilty with the unintentional disobedience.
So the silence stretched into longer seconds as she picked on the hem of her dress. 
“Had fun?” His voice cut the air eventually, seeing how she struggled with finding anything to say. It was hoarse from the lack of talking for many hours, even lower than usual which she found intimidating.
But on the other hand, was there anything about him which wasn’t intimidating to her? The answer was obvious.
“I’m sorry I didn't come right away. We were late, and.. And I was tired. Before I realized it, I was sleeping.” She said quieter, feeling as she was walking on thin ice that might break at any given moment, pulling her into the freezing, cold water. The stillness that never ceased to surround him was terrifying at times. To her, Thomas Shelby was a complete mystery. His way of carrying himself reminded her of a volcano, so still and quiet just to blow up with a never ending stream of force. So the silence was… chaos really. “I’m sorry, Mr. Shelby”
Her voice, so quiet and submissive, danced around his mind. Mixing with the whiskey he drank, twisting and moving in different directions and causing the weird stirring he felt. Something that started becoming familiar, dangerously enough. His lips stretched into a small grimace, not quite enough to become a proper smile. Another thing that made him, him. All the small things she learned to become aware of, cautious and deliberate while slowly walking between the mines in his head. The boundaries that were constantly in motion for any kind of comfort, making it impossible to learn their placement. So she walked through the dark.
“I asked if you had fun, Dove,” 
His voice came out soft, at least softer than expected which almost made her gasp in a way. Her eyes flickered up, meeting his cold gaze. His eyes never seemed to lose the ice, but every now and then the blizzard seemed more gentle. She looked at him for a moment, her eyes wide, moving around his features.
“Yes, it was a.. A great day.”
He leaned forward, moving a bit closer with a sigh. 
“It makes me sad that you don’t listen, Dove.” He started off, making her feel bad. “But I'm willing to forgive you, yeah? You didn’t mean to be bad after all.” His voice was soothing, smooth like butter, to which she nodded eagerly, also leaning forward, subconsciously wanting to please him.
“Yes, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,”
The corner of his mouth twitched again.
“I know you are,” He sighed, letting his gaze drop onto her body. Slowly moving lower till the desk blocked his view on the rest. “You will start coming to my office again. Spending time with Mr. Shelby,” The words would suggest it was a suggestion, but his voice absolutely proved to her it wasn’t one. He told her what would be happening from now on, and she had to listen. Y/N remained quiet for a bit before clearing her throat.
“Okay” She mumbled in her typical manner. His gaze was making her feel almost naked despite the appropriate clothing she wore. Instinctively she covered herself a bit more, almost making him groan.
The little things she was doing. The pink blush dusting her cheeks as she squeezed her thighs together, along with the innocent body language caused the familiar stirring in his core again. Thomas sighed, feeling as his manhood grew in his briefs and skin became hot. Breathing a little deeper, he leaned back. 
Tension in the room thickened as the shame coated her mind at the way he looked at her. 
Getting up abruptly, she moved behind the armchair.
“I will.. Go to sleep. I’ll come to your office tomorrow, I promise.” Y/N stuttered out as she started walking back towards the door. Thomas tilted his head up, watching as her hips swayed as she walked. Letting out a deep breath he nodded, tutting.
“Y/N” He stopped her in a raspy voice, but she didn’t turn around to meet his gaze. “Don’t forget to take your bags from the living room,” Thomas added, picking up the still lit cigarette, as he threw it into the fireplace. She just nodded, twisting the doorknob as she left.
Thomas stared at the dark wood of the door, as his fingers wrapped around the soft material in his pocket. Soft, pink lace.
He could say a lot about Y/N, but he had to admit she had a good taste in the lingerie she bought. 
@mrsnms @randomcreator-09 @omgsuperstarg @hatethis29 @usaguisenpaisblog @priyajoyy @vanessyyyu @hottestgirlintheworld @iilovedonnatartt @hagarsays
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motherofdogs1010 · 8 months ago
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Siren II (Dark!Thomas Shelby x Reader)
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Summary: A new singer has come to Small Heath and has unfortunately enraptured the soul of a big-time, Birmingham gangster...
Warnings: 18+ only, eventual NONCON/DUBCON smut, forced marriage, dark!Tommy, obsessed!Tommy, singer!reader, eventual pinv sex, eventual pregnancy, dark shit will be happening
A/N: Song used: Say Yes to Heaven- Lana Del Ray
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Dividers by @firefly-graphics Banner by @vase-of-lilies
Series Masterlist
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Her eyes widened a little at the sudden appearance of a man in a suit standing in the doorway. He was only a little taller than her, maybe by a inch or so with a dark-colored pageboy's cap on his head as a cigarette hung from his lips; she could see the sides of his head were shaved very tight against his scalp but his cap hid his eyes so she couldn't see them.
But she could feel his eyes still and it made her feel on-guard as she cleared her throat.
"Hello", she responded back, "can I help you?"
"Forgive me", the man said, pulling the cigarette from his lips. "I'm Thomas Shelby, owner."
"I thought Harry was the owner", she said, confused.
"I bought him out recently", Thomas stated, Y/N still eyed him cautiously.
The man screamed danger and she felt a little uneasy under his blue gaze as he smirked at her apprehension.
"I just wanted to let you know that you gave quite the performance. You have quite the voice."
"Thank you, Mr. Shelby", she responded before clearing her throat. "It's time for me to go."
She could still feel his gaze on her as she hurried out of the Garrison, even in the current safety of her home, it was like she could still feel his deviled gaze on her body.
🍾
A few days had passed since the meeting with Mr. Shelby and it seemed like wherever she turned, she'd find a man with a peaked hat following her. Always a different man trailing enough behind her that she was sure they were supposed to remain hidden, but her eyes always caught them.
She figured it was best to pretend they weren't there, a sinking feeling telling her that if she acknowledged them, things wouldn't turn out well for her. So she took many turns and circled the same route. It made no sense to throw them off so they wouldn't find her way back to her apartment.
Today, she was at another pub that she sang at, known as The Drunken Griffin. It was larger than the Garrison with a proper stage where they had a band play for its singers and she was hoping this would help as she stood at the microphone. She had to make sure she didn't get too close since the microphones were so sensitive as she heard the melody the band began to play.
If you dance, I'll dance And if you don't, I'll dance anyway Give peace a chance Let the fear you have fall away
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Tommy sat in the hidden back of the pub, a cigarette dangling between his fingers as a cold whiskey sat in front of him. She was dressed in black again, her hair framing her as she sang to the watching crowd.
I've got my eye on you I've got my eye on you
His mind felt quiet as the troubling thoughts of Kimber, that new Inspector Campbell and the stresses of Ada running off with Freddie Thorne began to melt away.
Say yes to Heaven Say yes to me Say yes to Heaven Say yes to me
Tommy had been having her followed for the past week, but the little minx seemed to have caught on to that.
If you dance, I'll dance I'll put my red dress on, get it on And if you fight, I'll fight It doesn't matter now, it's all gone
It was only a matter of time now...
I've got my eye on you I've got my eye on you, mm I've got my eye on you I've got my eye on you
He definitely had his eye on her...
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tommyxgrace-always · 1 year ago
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Tommy -Ada bond
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He actually went to her for everything. They came a long way since s2, when she had said this…
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Personal, Business or Politics. He relied on her on all aspects. I especially love how he spoke to Ada about Grace. As if he knew, she is the only one who could remotely understand why and what he feels. She lost the love of her life too, she and Grace got along well. She was the most natural choice.
Here’s a recap of how he gradually relied on her over the years.
🌿In s2, Ada is the one Tommy trusts to post his letter to NY incase if he dies on derby day.
🌿In s3, Ada stays with Tommy and Charlie at Arrow house after Grace’s death. Later Tommy asks her to handle his Boston company for him. She also helps set up the meeting with Russian communists that Tommy requests.
🌿 In s4, Ada is keeping the family together for him. She is his source and support when he is outcast from the family. He asks Ada to set up a meeting with Jessie Eden, she even calls out loud what Tommy refuses to admit “he is becoming hopeful”
🌿 In s5, she is his political advisor. He rants about his nightmares and fears to her. Not even Polly. He also talks to her about Grace, seeing her hallucinations. What he feels when he sees it etc. he is at his most vulnerable at that point.
🌿 In s6, he trusts her to handle the Mosleys, Gina and Uncle Jack in his absence while Ruby is sick. He even asks her to help with overseeing his businesses, she visits his office and the shop on his behalf. Interesting when Lizzie rants to Ada about wanting a normal man, we do not see Ada react or agree to her. Ada knows her brother and who he is, his pain and suffering. She doesn’t judge him as a bad husband in that moment or any moment. Because she knows, she must be feeling pity for Lizzie but she doesn’t blame Tommy for her woes.
Following this post:
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penmansparadise · 10 months ago
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Tommy Shelby ~ Dust in the Wind
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*I DON'T OWN THIS GIF* *CREDIT TO GIF OWNER*
*I do not give anyone permission to repost my work in any way (translations included)*
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5.5k
Warnings: Discusses infant loss/stillborn, ANGST, mild language, possibly ooc Tommy
a/n: Alright, well, it has been quite some time since I've posted on this site. First, let me get a few things out. 1) This is the most self-indulgent piece I have ever written, so if you don't want to read it, please just keep on scrolling. 2) This does not mean that I am ready to start taking requests again or that I will be regularly writing again. As stated before, this is a very self-indulgent piece because I just experienced the loss of my daughter, who was born prematurely. It has completely wrecked me, and I have just finally decided to start writing again. I am trying to navigate my loss and thought maybe writing would help. It did, and although this piece is a little darker than I usually write, it was therapeutic, and I wanted to share it because I am proud of my work. I did write it as a reader insert, but if you all read it and think it would be better as an OC story, I'll change it. Anyway, this is the first time I've ever written for Tommy, so please forgive the potential out-of-character actions he has in this story. Also, it has been a bit since I watched season 3 so forgive any mistakes. I took some liberties with the story by adding different children for Tommy and Y/N and some of the things that happened in the show. Well, I hope you enjoy this story, and would really like to know what you all think.
§
Y/N was no stranger to death.  It was Small Heath, for goodness’ sake.  Death practically ran in the water.  Being deeply entrenched in the Shelby family since she was a young girl only made her acquaintance with death’s steely grip all that much closer.  She had been to more than enough funerals in her 29 years of living.  She was present at the cemetery when her father finally drank himself into his grave, she was there to mourn when consumption took her mother, and she showed up to support Ada when they buried Freddie.  Y/N was always there when any of the Peaky boys were killed in the line of action, and she even showed up for her elderly childhood neighbor’s funeral.  But this time, it was different.  She wasn’t gathered in the woods on the outskirts of Small Heath to mourn for someone else.  There wasn’t a stranger tucked away in the wagon standing in front of her.  The Shelbys weren’t gathered to bid farewell to a distant relative or friend.  The Lees weren’t generously providing this funeral for a price.  No, the whole Shelby and Lee families were there for her and Tommy this time.
            The heat from the flames washed over Y/N’s face, making her sweat a little, but she didn’t move.  She wanted to be as close as she could possibly be.  If she had it her way, she would have jumped into the wagon and let the flames swallow her whole, but Tommy’s hand tightly gripping hers anchored her to the ground.  It had only been a few days.  It couldn’t have been more than four, but with how time was moving, it felt like a lifetime had passed.  The flames roared on, and Tommy squeezed her hand a little tighter, causing Y/N’s throat to tighten.  She swallowed down the sadness trying to claw its way out of her.  Y/N wasn’t going to break down in front of all these people.  She didn’t want to cry at all, for that matter.  It felt like it had been an endless stream of tears, and Y/N was done.  If only her aching heart would catch the memo.  Y/N’s eyes traveled the length of the flames until they landed on the little plaque one of the Lee boys carved for the wagon.  “Lily Eleanora Shelby,” it read, and suddenly, the sadness returned with a vengeance.  Y/N shut her eyes, and the events that led to this day played in her head.  She was supposed to be happy.  She was supposed to be full of unadulterated joy.  She was supposed to be cradling her newborn baby girl.  But she wasn’t.  Instead, she held onto her husband’s hand like a lifeline as she watched her daughter’s wagon burn.  One day.  That’s all it took to completely destroy her.
            Even as she stood there, watching the flames devour her daughter’s wagon, she still recounted everything she did four days ago, trying to figure out what could have possibly led to this result.  Four days ago, she was a cheery 29-week pregnant woman.  A stay-at-home mom who, with the help of their maid Frances, cared for her and Tommy’s three-year-old son, Benjamin.  That day had started like any other.  Tommy was already out, and she could hear Frances chasing Ben around his room.  The little boy’s giggles echoed through the house, and she remembers smiling as she slid a hand over her round tummy.  Y/N couldn’t wait for Ben to be a big brother.  She got ready like any other day and eventually made her way to her son, who welcomed her presence with a hug and a kiss.  The little boy rubbed her tummy, planted a chaste kiss to her navel, and smiled at her. 
            “I just wanted to let my little brother or sister know that I love them too, Mommy,” he had said, causing Y/N’s heart to clench.  Even at three, he was a charmer, just like his father.  She knelt to be at eye level with her son and lifted her hand to cradle his face.
            “You’re going to be a wonderful big brother; do you know that?”
            “Of course I will be, Mommy.  I’ve been practicing sharing my toys with Frances and making sure I listen real good to you and daddy.”  He said, standing up straighter to exhibit his full height.  “Frances says I need to be a good example for the new baby, or else Santa won’t bring me any presents this year for Christmas.  How outrageous is that, Mommy!?”
            Y/N stifled a laugh before brushing Ben’s hair back and looking up to see Frances smirking from her spot by Ben’s block tower. 
“I’m sure Santa won’t forget about you this year, honey.”  She told her son.  The boy gave her a toothy grin before trotting off to continue playing with his blocks. 
Y/N returned to her feet and watched Ben for another minute before retreating to the new nursery.  It was already put together, and she often found herself hiding away in that room.  She glided her hand over the bassinet and let the soft fabric tickle her palm.  The walls were already decorated with paintings of horses, some of which came from Ben, who insisted that his younger sibling have them.  She sat on the rocking chair and gently rubbed her hands over her stomach, earning a little kick from her unborn child.  A soft laugh fell from her lips as she looked down at her growing bump.
“Sorry to disturb you, love.”  She whispered, her hands still rubbing slow circles.  “Mommy just wanted to let you know she loves you very much.  And so does your big brother, who is very excited to meet you.”
Another kick came.
“You’re excited to meet him, too?  I’ll have to let him know.”
“Daddy loves you too, just in case Mommy forgot to mention that.”  Tommy’s voice came from the doorway, causing Y/N to look up.  He gave her a full smile, the one he reserved only for her and their son, and it fell over her like a warm blanket.
“Mommy was just about to get there.  Had daddy not interrupted her,” she said.  Tommy hummed in response as he floated across the room to kneel before her.  He looked up at Y/N through his lashes and said, “Sure you were,” before removing her hands and planting a soft kiss where they had just lay.
“Daddy can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered against her stomach, his warm breath radiating throughout her body.  Tommy looked up at Y/N before standing and pressing his lips to hers.  When he pulled away, a smile matching his spread across her face.  She was beaming.  She had dreamt of being in this position for many years as a teenager, and now it was real.  Thomas Shelby was hovering over her very pregnant figure in their unborn second child’s nursery.  Their lively three-year-old son’s muffled laughter ricocheted off the hallway walls.  It was everything she ever wanted, and she was so happy.
“What’s that look for?”  Tommy asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“Nothing,” she hummed, gaining a skeptical eyebrow raise from her husband.  “I just love you.  That’s all.”
Tommy nestled his face into the crook of her neck, peppering kisses along the exposed skin.  Then he pulled back, looked into her eye, and said, “I love you more than you know, Y/N.”
He gave her one more swift kiss before standing and sauntering out of the room with a smirk.  The rest of the day went by like any day usually went.  She sat around and read, played with Ben, ate lunch at 1100, put Ben down for a nap at 1230, and then went back to reading.  Tommy was in and out, balancing work from home and the office.  She could tell that day was extra tiring from how he sighed every time he left the house.  It was after Tommy left for the last time of the day that Y/N got the idea to wander down to the kitchen.  When she entered, the cooks were hard at work peeling and slicing vegetables.
“Good evening, Mrs. Shelby,” the head chef began, “is there anything we can do for you, ma’am?”
Y/N clasped her hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels like a guilty toddler.  “Um,” she said, “actually, yes, there is.”  She stepped into the kitchen and moved her hands to rest on her stomach.  “I was thinking that maybe tonight you and the rest of the staff could take the evening off and allow me to cook dinner.”
The head chef’s eyes widened at her statement.  Everyone else stilled for a brief moment, waiting for him to speak.  “Oh,” he stammered, “b-but, Mrs. Shelby, and please forgive me if I am overstepping, but shouldn’t you be resting instead of cooking?”  His eyes dipped down to her protruding abdomen before landing back on her face. 
“Resting?  I rest all day.  Really,” Y/N said, waving the chef’s comment off, “it would be nothing.  I actually miss being in the kitchen.  It’ll be nice.  Therapeutic.”  She couldn’t miss the wide-eyed stares from everyone in the room, but she chose to ignore them.  When they didn’t move to leave, she stepped forward, placed a gentle hand on the head chef’s back, and began leading him out of the kitchen. 
“Trust me,” she said, “I’ll be fine.  Thank you for your concern, though.”
Once she ushered the staff out, she began working on dinner.  It had been a long time since she cooked, but it came back to her like riding a bicycle.  She couldn’t escape the excitement that bubbled inside of her as she fell into a groove preparing dinner for her family again.  She boiled the potatoes the staff had peeled, sauteed the peppers and onions, and braised the beef that was in the refrigerator.  About an hour into cooking, a dull pain emanated from her lower back and into her hips.  The dull pain slowly morphed into a pressure that she just assumed was normal 29-week pregnancy symptoms.  It’s just the baby getting comfortable.  The baby is just moving around and pressing a little harder than usual on my cervix.  She ignored the feelings and finished cooking before asking the kitchen staff for help to bring the meal into the dining room.  Once the table was set, Frances went and fetched her boys, alerting them that not only had Y/N cooked dinner, but she had also served it.  She greeted the boys in the doorway of the dining room and gave each a kiss before they all sat to eat.  That pain returned in her lower back and hips, making it hard to get comfortable in her seat.  She let out a low groan of discomfort, and Tommy placed his hand over hers to gain her attention.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.  She swallowed another groan that threatened to come out and nodded with a strained smile.  Y/N could tell that her weak answer did nothing to reassure Tommy, but he didn’t press her. 
“How do you like the meal?”  She asked, doing her best to not sound strained against the constant pressure she felt pulsing between her legs.
Before Tommy could answer, Ben nodded with enthusiasm and stuffed a heaping scoop of mashed potatoes into his mouth.  “I love it, Mommy!  This is the best dinner I’ve ever had,” he said through his mouthful of food. 
Y/N smiled, but it must have looked more like a grimace because this time, Tommy stood up and moved to her side.  “Y/N,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders, “are you sure you’re okay?  Should I have Frances phone the doctor?” 
Y/N grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she looked up to her husband.  “I’m fine, darling.  I promise.  Let’s just finish dinner.”  She pulled his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.  Then, using her head, she motioned for Tommy to sit again.  He stared at her for another moment, the line on his forehead deepening, before sighing and retaking his seat.  She kept her discomfort under wraps for the remainder of dinner because Tommy didn’t mention anything until after they had put Ben down for the night and were about to crawl into bed.  The pressure and pain had only grown in that short time, and she was beginning to get nervous.  She was sitting on the edge of their bed, eyes shut, and taking some deep breaths when Tommy’s hands landed on her thighs.  She could feel him kneeling between her legs, but she didn’t open her eyes.  She didn’t want to admit that her anxiety was consuming her or that the pain and pressure had turned into abdominal cramps.  It wasn’t until she suddenly felt the bed beneath her sopping wet that she looked at Tommy.  He looked down and saw the fluid dripping from her nightgown and their duvet before his gaze landed on her.  She could see his mouth moving, but his voice was drowned out by her rapidly beating heart.  Something is wrong.  She thought.  This shouldn’t be happening.  I’m too early.  Tommy pushed away the hair that had begun sticking to her sweaty forehead, and then ran out of the room.  His voice was distant, but she could have sworn he said something about calling Polly and Ada.  She wasn’t sure because all she could focus on was the sharp pain that was puncturing her abdomen and the immense pressure building between her legs.  Before she could comprehend what was happening, Tommy scooped her up and lay her on their bed.  What about the sheets?  I’m going to ruin the bed. 
She must have said those thoughts aloud because Tommy quickly said, “Don’t worry about the bed, love.  We’ll get another one if we have to.”  The pain was only getting worse, and she had to shut her eyes and bite her tongue to prevent a groan from escaping.  She didn’t know how much time had passed before Polly and Ada came rushing into the room, shoving Tommy into the hallway.  When it was just the three of them, Y/N finally let out a guttural moan.  She didn’t remember this much pain when she gave birth to Ben.  Something is wrong.  Something is not right.  Those words chanted in her head like a mantra.  Polly set her up on her bed while Ada used a wet towel to wipe away the sweat beading on her face.
“Just breathe, Y/N,” Polly chirped soothingly in her ear. “Ada and I are here.  We’re going to take care of you.”
Anxiety coursed through her veins and unfurled in her gut when the pressure between her legs began to increase.  She tried to cross her legs and prevent the inevitable from happening, but Polly and Ada wouldn’t let her.  Tears of pain and fear streamed down her cheeks.  She wanted to scream at them to stop and let her try to stop this urge to push.  But the pain and pressure were too much, and the only sound that came out of her mouth was a low groan. 
She could feel Polly’s hand between her legs, and the words “crowning” and “push” floated to her ears.  Ada took her hand, and Y/N tried with every fiber in her body to not push, but her body had other plans.  She held her breath and begged her body to stop forcing her baby out of her, but it was too late.  The pressure was building.  Climbing to a peak that felt like it would rip her in half until suddenly, she felt relief.  Her heavy breathing filled the room, and she waited impatiently for the tell-tale cries of her baby, but they never came.  She opened her eyes and looked at Polly and then at Ada.  They both just stared back at her, and Y/N knew something wasn’t right. 
“Y/N,” was all Polly whispered, and she knew.  The silence was deafening.  She lay there, completely exposed, bleeding, and sweaty, and waited, but her baby gave her nothing.  Her eyes shut and then, without any strength to stop it, let out a crushing wail.  The tears overflowed, and when she opened her eyes again, she watched the door burst open and Tommy storm in.  He moved over to where Polly held their baby and looked down at their motionless child.
“Why isn’t she crying?”  He asked. 
It was a girl.  I had a baby girl.  Even through her tears and sobs, she could see Tommy’s chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.
“Why isn’t she fucking crying, Pol!?”  Tommy’s voice boomed through the room and mixed with her loud cries to create the saddest song.  She could see the distress in the slant of his shoulders and how he ran a hurried hand through his cropped hair.  He didn’t wait for anyone to answer his question before bounding across the room and landing on the floor next to her.  His hands found hers, and she could feel them shaking.  His lips pressed to Y/N’s forehead and cheeks, absorbing only some of the tears that continued to cascade down her face. 
“It’s okay,” he whispered, but the way his voice cracked in her ear told her he didn’t even believe those words.  “I love you, Y/N.”  She could hear that his words dripped with the same despair she felt.  “You know that, ey?  I love you, and it’s going to be okay.”
Tommy’s words echoed in her head as she watched the fire blaze around her daughter’s wagon.  She wanted to be convinced that his words were true, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe them.  When the funeral finished, they all returned to Arrow House, where the wake was being held.  Even being in a crowded room surrounded by family, Y/N felt alone.  Her whole body was like radio static – unfeeling.  Tommy’s hand was on her lower back the entire time, but she still felt like she was floating away.  Nothing could tether her to this reality anymore.
Several people approached her and Tommy, and with every person, a new empty comment emerged. 
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” which loosely translates to, “Boy, that sucks to be you.”
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,” which means, “I’m really glad I’m not dealing with that!”
And, “At least you still have Ben,” equates to, “You shouldn’t be upset when you still have one kid alive.”
With every consolation tossed at her feet like the change she used to find on the ground when she was a child, this unknown sensation began to build in her chest.  It was heavy and wild, like an untamed animal.  It was red and bared its teeth, ready to bite.  It was something Y/N had never felt before.  She was usually understanding, calm, and collected.  She wasn’t hot-headed or easily provoked.  But now, she was quickly discovering that what she was feeling was rage.  Hot and stormy, it ravaged her insides, and instead of beating it back into its cage, Y/N leaned into it, letting it hold her battered and broken soul up.
After the wake, Y/N let her sadness swallow her.  She hid in one of the guest rooms daily and even went as far as to avoid Tommy.  She couldn’t bring herself to look at him because every time their eyes met, two things happened.  1) she could see the grief he was carrying like cinder blocks chained to his neck, and 2) she could see the way he looked at her like she was a broken piece of artwork now.  She knew she was a shell of the woman she once was, but it hurt her even more to know that Tommy saw it so plainly in her, too.  He didn’t see her as the strong, independent woman he fell in love with.  No, now she was a ghost of her former self, and she couldn’t take his pity for having lost their daughter and herself. 
Although clearly grieving, Tommy didn’t seem nearly as phased by their loss as Y/N.  He was able to jump back into work, and now, nearly a week since the wake, he was back to being fully invested.  If Y/N were being honest, she envied Tommy for being able to distract himself.  She couldn’t do anything but hide from the memories that haunted their home and do her best to still be a good mother to Ben.  When a week finally passed since laying her daughter to rest, Y/N knew she had to do something.  She would talk to Polly and beg for some sort of work.  She didn’t care that Polly insisted that Y/N take some “time to heal.”  She needed a distraction.  Being in Arrow House felt more like a prison than a home.
Y/N got dressed and began to head for the door after handing Ben over to Frances.  But, as she approached Tommy’s office, she could hear him talking.  She peeked through the tiny crack to discover John and Arthur sitting at Tommy’s desk. 
“Ada’s handling the Communists.  She’s got someone on the inside who’s giving us information,” Tommy stated.  “And,” he shuffled papers around on his desk, “I’m…dealing with Father Hughes.”
“And what about the horny princess?” John asked, leaning forward and adjusting his jacket.  “You gonna figure out where her family keeps the jewels?”
Tommy waved him off.  “I already know.”  That single statement had both his brothers and Y/N leaning forward just slightly.  Tommy lay a large blueprint on his desk, causing the brothers to stand.
“They keep their entire collection in this strong room.  There’s no way to get in from above without a key,” Tommy stated, flattening the paper and looking up at his brothers. 
“So, what’s your plan, brother?”  Arthur asked like a good soldier.  Tommy straightened slightly, and Y/N could tell he was a little uncomfortable.  He pulled a cigarette from his case and slid it across his bottom lip before lighting it and taking a drag. 
“We’ve gotta tunnel in,” Tommy said without hesitation.  Those four words landed on the Shelby men like a grenade, and Y/N could almost feel the atmosphere shift at the statement.  None of them moved.  It was evident that the idea of tunneling hadn’t been a thought in any of their minds since the war.  Tommy cleared his throat. 
“I know,” he began, “but there’s no other way.  I’ve already got Johnny Dogs ready to help.  He’ll set up camp where we’ll start the tunnel.”
The air was thick, and again, neither of the brothers spoke.  She knew they didn’t like the plan, but they would comply because Tommy was giving the orders.  Y/N watched as John and Arthur fiddled with their suit jackets, their anxious energy hitting her like a baseball bat to the face.  It wasn’t until Arthur blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his messy hair, exposing his apprehension, that Y/N knew what she would do.  Without even a second thought, Y/N opened the door to Tommy’s office, and all three men turned to face her.  She was only adding insult to injury as the silence in the room became even heavier.  Neither of her brothers-in-law had seen her since the wake, and the uneasy energy was almost palpable.  Tommy stepped toward her but didn’t get too close, which Y/N could see his brothers noticed.
“Y/N, is everything alright, love?”
Her eyes flitted between all three of the Shelby men for a moment before finally landing back on Tommy.  She knew she probably looked like a deer in headlights.  Her stare was frazzled, and she knew she looked a bit harried.  But she still squared her shoulders and stated with the most conviction she could muster, “Let me help.”
All three men’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, but only one spoke. 
“Excuse me?”  Tommy asked, incredulity lacing each word.  There was no going back now.  Y/N had to double down on her commitment.  So, she waved her hand toward the blueprints on Tommy’s desk. 
“With the tunnel.”
Tommy’s eyes turned a shade darker, and Y/N could see his jaw tick.  She only glanced at John and Arthur for a second, and they both looked like they might choke on the thickness of the air.  She felt like she might, too, but she held her ground.  She was not a fragile porcelain doll and could help her husband like she used to.  Tommy coughed, then turned to his brothers and, in a calm voice, asked, “Would you mind giving me a moment with my wife, boys?”
Neither of the brothers wasted a second before hustling out into the hallway.  Once the door shut behind them, Tommy’s steely gaze landed back on Y/N.  Before, she would have felt a little nervous under Tommy’s intense glare.  She had never inserted herself into his shoddy business in the past.  But now, she didn’t care.  She needed a distraction and a way to prove that she was still a force to be reckoned with even after her loss.  Y/N could see Tommy trying to contain his anger as his nostrils flared and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.  His eyes shut for a brief moment as he took a deep inhale.
“Are you fucking insane, Y/N?”  He finally asked, his voice level.  Y/N’s mouth fell open, and she reared back just slightly.  But before she could say anything, Tommy continued.
“You’ve been avoiding me, your husband, for a week in our own home, and when you decide to finally speak to me, that is what you say?”
Y/N rolled her eyes.  “Tommy.”
“No, Y/N!”  He shouted, causing her to startle.  “You can’t just move past this!”
That statement made Y/N see red.  In the week since Lily’s passing, Tommy did precisely that.  Y/N’s spine straightened, and her whole body became rigid.
“Why not!?” she shouted back, stomping toward Tommy.  “Is that not what you did?  Pretend like we didn’t lose our daughter?  You threw yourself into your work.  Why can’t I do the same thing?”  Her chest was heaving, and as badly as she didn’t want them to, she could feel tears pricking at her eyes.  She hated that she was a frustrated crier.  Her fists were in tight balls at her sides, and every muscle in her body was flexed.  She was ready for a fight.  She was prepared for Tommy to yell back at her.  In fact, she wanted him to yell at her.  She wanted Tommy to tell her how stupid her idea was and that she was out of her mind.  She mentally begged Tommy to scream at her for barging in on his meeting with his brothers and even thinking about tunneling.  Y/N wanted to feel the passion he usually had toward her before they lost their baby.  She needed him to reassure her that she was not a lost cause he was housing but his fierce wife.  But he didn’t yell.  The fire in his eyes dimmed, and his features softened.  The pity eyes were back, and she was struck by the sadness she was trying to escape.  She shut her eyes in a lame attempt to avoid looking at her husband and keep her tears at bay, but it was futile.  The tiny droplets fell down her cheeks, and when she opened her eyes again, Tommy was right in front of her.  He lifted his hands to cradle her face, and she hated how she melted into his touch.  It had been a week since she even looked at Tommy, let alone touched him.  She couldn’t lie, she missed him.  But it was easier to hide from the pain and suffering they both shared than deal with it head-on. 
Y/N let out a shaky breath and looked into her husband’s eyes. 
“Why can’t I, Tommy?” She asked, barely above a whisper.  “Let me help you.  Please.”
Tommy’s thumb stroked her cheeks, wiping away a stray tear.  He cataloged her features, and for the first time in a very long time, she wished she could see into Tommy’s thoughts.  She stared at him and hoped that everything she wanted to say was conveyed in her eyes.  I’m no longer the same woman I was a week ago.  I’m a failure as a woman and a mother.  I’m alone, letting my thoughts eat me alive.  I’m scared you won’t love this broken woman I have become.  Her eyes pleaded for Tommy to let her prove that she could still be the same person as before.  She needed to prove to him and herself that she wasn’t hopeless.  But when Tommy shut his eyes and let out a sigh, she knew his answer before he even said it. 
He looked at Y/N and said sotto voce, “You know I can’t, love.”
Y/N’s body went rigid, and that new familiar sensation began to bubble in her gut.  She could feel it rumbling and swirling, mixing with her fear and sadness, creating an uncontrollable fury.  It burned like venom, but she found herself welcoming the sting.  Her once soft features hardened, and Tommy noticed the change immediately.  Her stare was blank, and the joy that used to fill it had vanished.  Before losing her daughter, she never understood why the war had changed Tommy.  She supported him while his experiences ravaged him, but she never knew why he returned with a harder exterior than when he left.  But now, after suffering such a devastating loss, she understood.  There is no coming back from witnessing a tragedy. 
Tommy’s rough thumbs brushed against Y/N’s tear-stained cheeks and bent until his forehead rested on hers.  “Where did the woman I married three years ago disappear to?”  He said, his breath fanning over her face.  He pulled back, his distressed stare locking Y/N in place, and whispered, “I know she’s in there.”
The words stung like a slap to her already bruised ego.  She could feel the weight of that question in every bone of her body.  All her fears began raging a war inside her head, and she could feel her armor cracking.  She could feel the tears clogging her throat, burning as she swallowed them down.  Her lungs felt like they weren’t getting nearly enough oxygen, and she was only seconds away from either crying or breaking something.  With a swift step backward, Y/N separated herself from her husband.  She hated to admit that her body yearned for Tommy’s hands back on her, but she batted that thought away as quickly as it appeared.  Tommy slowly lowered his hands back to his sides, and she leveled him with a callous stare.
“That woman is gone, Tommy,” she spat.  “She burned to ash with her daughter a week ago.”  She could see the way her words landed on Tommy like bullets striking his chest.  Some of her felt bad, but the angry beast slowly becoming her new persona convinced her she did nothing wrong. 
Y/N waited for Tommy to say something, anything, back to her, and when he didn’t, she turned and reached for the door.  Confidence that felt different from what she was used to coursed through her body like electricity.  She was a little scared of who she was becoming, but those wild and fiery feelings of rage were the only things that brought her peace.  Before pulling the door open, she turned back toward Tommy and said, “If you won’t let me help you, Tommy, I’ll find someone else who will.  You forget, my roots run deep in this business, too.”
Tommy let out a dry laugh.  “You’re really threatening me, now, ey?”
Y/N’s grip tightened around the cold door handle, and, through gritted teeth, she growled, “It’s not a threat, Thomas.  It’s a promise.”  Without a second look, she flung the door open and stepped out. 
John and Arthur straightened at her abrupt appearance, and she just brushed past them, letting her feet carry her toward the front of their home.  She knew they heard her and Tommy’s conversation, but she didn’t care anymore.  This newfound boldness that her bereavement had granted her washed away any and all anxiety.   
“Hope you enjoyed the show, boys,” Y/N tossed over her shoulder toward John and Arthur.  “Next time, I’ll sell tickets and make talking to my husband more worthwhile rather than a waste of my time.”
She didn’t turn back around to see their reaction to her words.  Instead, she showed herself out and hopped into one of Tommy’s many vehicles.  She would find another way if he wouldn’t allow her to help.  The image of a tall Jewish man whom she briefly met a while back when Tommy first started expanding into London entered her mind.  She knew exactly who would be more than willing to give her a hand in her effort to help the Shelby family – Alfie Solomons.
255 notes · View notes
evita-shelby · 1 year ago
Note
Hi, hello
This is my first request ever, please ignore my spelling mistakes if there's any, I'm French so...
So how abt the femreader /OC (as you want) has an illness and is destined to die but Tommy pursue her and falls in love with her anyway and then she dies and we see how he copes. I'm a sucker for angst.
Thank youuu
You are welcome 😊
I cried so hard i ran out of tp to clean my snot.
Promise
Gif by @manie-sans-delire-x
Cw: death, illness, grief, suicidal thoughts
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You hoped he’d forget about you while he was in France, but when he stepped down that platform he was as in love with you as when he had left.
You had broken things off with him before he even left and yet he returned to you as if nothing changed.
No matter how much you tried, Tommy never left your side.
Eventually you had to tell him the truth.
You were dying.
You had a year at most, the tumor was not operable, and it wouldn’t be long before you were dead.
“I can’t leave you, love, not when you need me most.” He had said as he held your face in his hands.
And he hadn’t.
Not when the barmaid showed up and made it clear to all that she wanted him, not when he provoked Kimber and certainly not when Campbell threatened to have the hospital deny you care if he didn’t give him the guns.
Campbell hadn’t expected you to laugh and spit at his face, “Do it, do your fucking worst, Inspector. I am dead anyways.”
You were dying, but you were never going to let Tommy and his dreams die with you.
You had a year.
And you had decided that your last wish was to see Tommy get the hell out of here and be the great man you know he is.
This you tell him as the two of you stand as witnesses for Freddie Thorne and his sister, Ada.
He couldn’t say no to you, he said so as you tied his tie for him and told him to drive you and Ada to the courthouse where Freddie was waiting with his cousins and a rabbi.
“It could be us up there,” he said quietly knowing you’d say no.
“Ask me again in a year.” You love him, and that is why you refuse to tie him to you like that.
Time passes slowly, you encourage him to pursue Grace because he needs the distraction. There was something there, on her side at least.
Not that he budged, said he didn’t need anyone else. Not when he had you.
“I’m going to marry you.” He says the words you feared the most. He did never learn to let go, even when death took those he loved most, he stood there refusing to let go.
“Tommy, I do not want to tie you to me like this. Not like this.” You plead for him to move on weeks later when he takes the barmaid to the races.
“I’m gonna marry you, when you go, I want you to go as my wife, y/n.” he vowed just as you vowed to see him succeed.
You supposed that is what had you say yes.
He wants to do things proper, keeping almost every tradition and custom in place that you find to your liking. Whatever you want for your big day, he and Polly make it happen.
Its sweet and thoughtful you think as he gets the two of you on a table at the Garrison and announced to all that the two of you will be getting married.
He had bought you a ring, a Claddagh ring like the one his mum had worn. Only difference was that the other one was lost in the Cut and yours had a red garnet heart to represent his love and devotion to you.
Tommy was a romantic, no matter what he did to hide it.
You dance in the dark of your room nights later to some old record your mama had since she settled here with your father.
“We could always elope, go somewhere just us and come back like our parents did.” He suggests and you nod.
As much as you’d like to do things properly, you’d rather get the things on your list done before you meet your maker.
Besides, that trip to Liverpool before the war had been lovely and you’d like to see the sea again before you go.
“I’d like that.” You say and that next morning the two of you set off to Liverpool like the wild teenagers the two of you used to be.
The wedding is lovely even if it happens in front of strangers, but the weekend the two of you spend as newlyweds is enough to make you forget your time is running out.
Perhaps when your health becomes worse you could return here, die somewhere beautiful away from everything.
“I wish we didn’t have to go back.” He admits as the two of you lie down on a blanket and enjoy the sun on your faces on your last day here.
“Once its over, we should come back here.” You say as if you knew for sure you’d be alive by then.
Zilpha Lee saw your death in the first chills of December. A black star and blood on Tommy’s heart.
It was late July now.
Only five months left in your clock. And you were going to make the most of it.
And you did, you danced at John and Esme’s wedding like there was no tomorrow. You gave the barmaid a good enough thrashing she never even got to call the police on Freddie and when little Karl was born it hurt your heart to know you would never have this with Tommy.
You wept like a baby in his arms as everyone celebrated down at the pub.
“Promise me you will love again.” You dry your tears and make him swear to live for you.
He cannot die with you, you refuse to let him.
“Don’t make me promise that, love, I’ve only ever loved you.” He shook his head, refusing to even think of a life without you in it.
It becomes the first of October that night.
You can’t hide your illness no matter what you do. A girl from the neighborhood is hired to help you and from your bed you play cupid between the sweet but never spineless Linda and the most unlikely dashing knight, Arthur.
When they finally go out ---with Finn to keep things proper--- it is late November.
And as if by magic, you are bursting with energy enough to leave your bed and make sure there is no loose string left by December 1st.
You are laughing with Polly over something when you see it in Tommy’s carefully annotated diary.
A black star on December 3rd.
He plans on having everything done by then, to deal with Kimber and Campbell that same day and spend the rest of your time on earth in a cottage by the sea.
It was supposed to be a surprise until you answered a call back from the woman renting it.
If only you could live long enough to get there.
But you won’t.
Zilpha had said on the day of the Black Star.
On December 3rd your time was up.
And you had fulfilled your mission, on that day Tommy would have reached the first step towards getting the hell away from here.
Only Polly knows what transpired during that meeting with Zilpha Lee and she holds you as your heart breaks all over again.
“Promise me you’ll take care of him.” You ask her as she holds you tight enough to put you back together again.
“Of course I will, sweetheart. Just like I told Martha Strong I’d take care of her boys and John’s Martha as well.” The older woman promised you as she gave you her Black Madonna.
Its is December 3rd when Tommy leaves the house as giddy as a boy on boxing day.
“After this it will be just us in that little cottage by the sea, love.” He had promised kissing you like there was no tomorrow.
And there wouldn’t be.
The moment the bullet strikes his chest, you collapse at his desk and never rise again.
By the time Jeremiah lets him go, you are gone.
That night, after the undertaker has taken you away to prepare you for burial, he takes your ring, a bottle of whiskey and his gun.
When he pulls the trigger, there are no bullets and he curses you for leaving and refusing to let him leave with you.
He wakes up in Charlie’s Yard, with his aunt and uncle wearing black for mourning.
“I promised her I’d take care of you, don’t make break that promise, boy.” Polly said as she helped him back on his feet.
After your funeral he leaves for the seaside, hoping to have the peace and quiet to finish what he started and yet as he sits there in ghe sand looking at the ring he gave you, he remembers your voice making him swear to live for you.
And he does.
On December 3rd 1922, he returns to the beach with May Carlton now wearing your ring on her finger.
“Thank you.” He whispers to the wind.
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shelby-fangirl00 · 2 years ago
Note
Hiii! Could you write a Tommy x reader where the reader grew up with the shelby and has always been super close with either John or Ada because she's closer to their age. Then as she got older Tommy started to become protective/jealous over her? Maybe some angst with some fluff at the end? You're the best (:
HI! I love this request. Sorry it took a little longer than expected! Hope you enjoy!
Kempton Race
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Warnings: Adult language, mentions of sex
Word Count: 2327
‘Red or white?’ Ada asked me as she held up two different colored heels. 
 I turned around and faced her, tilting my head and squinting my eyes.
‘Definitely red today. You’ll ruin those white ones in all that mud.’ 
She smiled and sat down at my small kitchen table, placing the small red heels on her feet. 
Ada had invited me to join her and her family at the Kempton Race. It was a big day for the Shelby’s or at least for Tommy. Monaghan Boy was racing today. 
As we continued to get ready in my tiny home in Small Heath, we decided to have a couple of drinks. 
‘Do ya think Avery will be there today?’ She asked me, hiding the mischievous grin from behind her glass.
 I shot her a warning look and threw my whiskey back before answering. 
‘Jesus, I hope not.’ I rolled my eyes.
‘Is that over with then?’ 
‘He’s such an arse. I’m only of use to him when he needs his balls emptied. Fuck him.’ 
She raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. 
‘Don’t they all?’ she laughed out. 
‘Fuck em, eh?’ She said to me as he held her glass up in the air. She was referring to her strange relationship with Freddie. She didn’t like to talk about it much, but what I did know about him is that he was also a dick in the same way Avery was. 
Avery was a local boy who, on occasion, visited me in the night. It was nothing serious, just fucking. I had finally stopped letting him come by. It was doing more harm than good at this point.
I smiled and clinked my glass into hers before taking another swig. 
Me and Ada had been the best of friends since we were little girls. We were both the same age, 22. We had been inseparable for years. Growing up around Ada and her older brothers was interesting, to say the least. I was close enough to John growing up too. All three of us used to get ourselves into trouble quite often. I have many fond memories with the Shelby’s, even Tommy. Me and Tommy’s relationship, as children, mostly consisted of him teasing and embarrassing me in front of his brothers. 
Over the last couple of years, he was…different. I didn’t know what it was about him that had changed. He seemed to be protective over me at times, which I found to be odd. If me and Ada stayed out extra late with other men at the Pub, instead of scolding just Ada, I also was lectured. Was it jealousy of the other men in my life? Or did he see me as more of a sister? I could never tell with him. The tension between us lingered often. I didn’t know what we were, but he had never expressed any feelings towards me. To him, I’m probably just his sister’s friend, too young for him to even consider me in that way. 
The older we all get, the more I noticed Tommy. He was obviously always the pretty boy growing up, but now, it was different. Every time I was near him, his beauty seemed to just…radiate. It was quite intimidating. 
                                                                  -----
Ada and I were sitting in a booth at the races. Looking around to see all of the nicely dressed betting men bustling around outside. I wondered if Thomas was anywhere nearby. 
‘Don’t you worry, dear, Tommy will be here any moment now.’ Ada giggled out. 
 I swatted at her arm and shushed her. 
‘What are you talking about? Think that I’m looking for your brother?’ I chuckled out. I was, in fact, looking for her brother. I would never admit that to her. 
‘Oh come’on! I see the way you two look at each other when you think the other isn’t looking. It’s quite adorable actually!’ She whispered to me as she leaned in. 
Just then, we heard a low voice coming from behind us. 
‘Evening, ladies.’ Tommy sighed out, his hands stuck in his pants pockets, as he walked around us and sat down beside me. 
You eyed him down as he took off his cap and slid it into his coat pocket, slouching into the seat next to me. I couldn’t help but to stare a little longer than I probably should have. His sharp jaw, freckled, pale face, heavy blue eyes…
He then turned his head to face me, catching my eyes in his, face expressionless. 
‘I haven’t seen ya in a while, where ya been hiding?’ He asked me, his thick Birmingham accent flooding my ears. 
‘Not hiding, I know that much. Are you feeling lucky today, Tommy?’ I asked, quickly trying to change the subject. 
He looked into my eyes a second time, making my stomach do flips. 
‘Oh, I am feeling very lucky today, love.’ He said, his eyes not leaving mine. 
I couldn’t help but flash him a small smile, letting my eyes fall down the frame of his body before looking back out at the race track. 
Just then, two large hands grabbed my shoulders and squeezed a little too roughly. 
All three of our heads turned to see Avery standing behind me, a big drunken grin on his long face.
‘Well hello love, where have you been hiding out?’ He asked me sarcastically, mocking Tommy and I’s previous conversation that he had been listening in on.
‘What can I do for you Avery?’ I asked, standing up and facing him. Tommy stayed silent, not looking away from the racetrack now.
‘So official today! Have you already forgotten that I was just in your bed the other night?’ He questioned me loudly, trying to embarrass me. 
My face turned red and my hands balled into fists at my side. 
‘Fuck off Avery, or I’ll smack that shit eating grin right off your face!’ Ada yelled out at him from her seat beside me. 
I heard Tommy chuckle quietly at this. 
‘Alright, enough. Come’on Avery,’ I sighed out as I walked around Thomas to take Avery’s boney hand and pull him away from any more embarrassment. I walked him back towards the stables, stopping in front of Monaghan Boy’s empty one. 
‘What’s going on Avery, why are you here?’ I sighed out, crossing my arms over my chest.
He extended his arms and stepped closer, pulling me into him. 
I turned my face away, rolling my eyes at his awful attempt of affection. He was always handsy like this when he was drunk. 
‘Avery, I told you already…I can’t see ya anymore.’ I whispered, placing my hands on his chest lightly, deciding that fighting him would just make things worse.
‘Why is that? Am I not enough man for ya anymore? Would you rather have some thieving Shelby inside of you now, is that it? Is that why you’re here with them?’ he spat out. The alcohol on his breath stung my nose. 
‘Avery, you’re drunk…please- 
Just before I was able to demand that he let me go, he was jerked back completely flying and slamming down on his back. Clumps of hay and mud covered his clothes and hair. 
‘Sounds to me like you should take a hint and let go of her.’ Tommy said calmy. Avery’s eyes were wide with shock and a bit of fear. 
When Avery didn’t move fast enough, Tommy leaned over his body. 
‘Lay a hand on her again, and I’ll cut ya. Now Fook off.’ Tommy said lowly. 
Avery then stood up quickly, glancing in my direction for a quick second before walking away. Even he was smart enough to know not to push Tommy any further. 
‘Tommy…that wasn’t necessary. I had it under control.’ I said as I straightened out my dress and wiped the dirt off of my shoes. 
‘You sure about that? Cause it didn’t seem like you did.’ 
I rolled my eyes dramatically. 
‘He was just drunk. He gets handsy, but most men do in my experience. He’s harmless-’ 
‘-Until he isn’t. I’ll cut him if he lays another hand on you.’ 
My breath quickened as an awkward silence fell over the both of us. 
‘Well, what do you care anyways Tommy? I don’t need you to protect me.’
I looked up to study his expression.  
‘I don’t want you hanging around him anymore love, I’m serious.’ 
I giggled at this, stepping closer to him.
‘Even if he is a arse, I will see whoever I damn well please. What are you, my father?’ I scoffed at him. What right did he have telling me what to do and who to see?
He raised an eyebrow at me as his face hardened even more, his jaw clenching. 
‘Far from it.’ He stepped an inch closer, so close that I could reach out and touch him. My mouth hung slightly open as I practically gushed over him. His eyes were glossy and full of a look I hadn’t seen before. I could tell he was irritated by my disobedience.
I wondered if this was more than just me being protected and safe. If Ada had noticed Tommy’s affection towards me, then there must be something there, right?
‘Why are you saying all of this? Why do you care?’ practically at a whisper.
‘I care because…I can’t stand to see you wasting your time on someone like that! Some small-town fuck like him.’
‘Tommy, you realize that I am small town too! And so are you! How am I any better than him?’ I yelled out at him throwing my hands up in the air and slamming them back down at my sides. 
‘But you are more than this fucking town and he isn’t! You are different than him! You’re…intelligent and wise beyond your years. You are kind…and forgiving, sometimes too forgiving! You have a bright future compared to the rest of us.’
He stopped and rubbed his hands into his eyes and sighed loudly, realizing the weight of his words that were now up in the air. Practically stunned from this, I twiddled with my fingers before opening my mouth to speak. 
‘You really think that about me, Tommy?’ was all I could think to ask. 
His eyes slowly fell from my face to trace the curve of my body. I shuddered under his gaze, goosebumps covering the back of my neck. I imagined him kissing me, the feeling of his skin making contact with mine. It seemed so unattainable. 
‘Are my affections towards you not obvious?’ He calmly asked, his voice going up an octave. 
‘Tommy…I didn’t have a clue.’ 
‘Do you not feel the same?’ 
‘I…I didn’t say that. I just thought you only saw me as one of your little sister’s friends. I didn’t think you had ever given me a second thought.’ I tried to look at him, but he looked down at his muddy black shoes. I think my response disappointed him.
I took a few steps closer to him and placed the palm of my hand on his cheek to cup his sharp face, forcing him to look at me. As our skin connected, his eyes peered down into mine, surprised by my sudden forwardness. 
He lifted his hand to place against mine. He turned his head slightly, letting his freckled lips plant the softest kisses on my wrist. His eyes studied the nervous expression on my face. I had never seen Tommy act so tenderly. 
A deep warmness filled up my entire body as our skin touched for the first time. We had never been this close to each other before.
 All at once, his hand gently dropped mine to place his rough fingers on my chin, lifting my face up to look at him. He let a light smile flask across his face before he craned his neck to peck my jawline. He lifted his face slightly as I turned my head to face his. 
At the same moment, our lips collided. They slowly molded against each other’s for a few seconds before parting. 
My face flushed and became red under his gaze, but my eyes never left his. 
‘Do it again, Tommy.’ I panted out, trying my hardest not to crumble underneath him.
Without hesitation, he leaned down and kissed me again. His plump lips pushed into mine, this time with more force. Our mouths parted, and recollided again and again and again. The kiss quickly became hot and needy. His hands made their way to tangle into my hair. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest, I was sure he could feel it. 
My hands greedily clung to the clothes covering his chest. I teased him with my tongue, slightly flicking it into his mouth. He moaned desperately into my mouth as I did so, sending a warm wetness in between my legs. I couldn’t fathom what was actually happening. It felt like a fever dream. 
As I parted ways with his mouth, He softly nibbled my bottom lip in between his teeth, pulling at it lightly before letting go completely. 
I stood there, not daring to say a word. We both continued to breath heavily, our chests inflating and deflating. We quickly tried to wrap our heads around what just happened. 
I smiled up at him sweetly as his thumb then made contact with my lips, rubbing them lightly back and forth, studying them with his eyes, his mouth parted open, still reliving the feeling of my lips on his. 
‘You’re even more beautiful up close, which should be impossible.’ He stated quietly, thumbs still tracing my lips.
I smiled before lifting myself up on my tippy toes to crash my lips on his once more, not being able to get enough. I had no idea what would happen after this. What I did know is that after having a single taste of Tommy, I wouldn’t be thinking twice about Avery ever again.
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dinums · 11 months ago
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The Unexpected Visit
Thomas Shelby x Reader
This is part 2, by the way! Check out part 1 first!
Part 3
Summary: Ada gets married, Thomas takes a Barmaid to a Derby, Thomas, and (Y/N) gets closer.
Word counter: 2,056 words
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"Should I be crying? You look like an angel, Ada," I said wholeheartedly, helping her with the veil as I admired her through the reflection in the mirror. My words brought a chuckle from her, filling the room with a lightness.
"Do you think he'll like it? Freddie, I mean," she asked, seeking reassurance.
"Of course he will. Ang ganda mo kaya," I replied
"Ganda mo kaya?" Ada questioned, curious about the meaning. I explained, "It means 'you're beautiful.'' With her heart full of love, she left the house early in the morning.
Later that day, Pol asked me to run some errands around town, buy a few things at the market, though I knew she wanted me to take a breather from everything that's been happening, that I was thankful for. As I walked, the mud stained my shoes, and the smoke filled the sky, reminding me that this environment was vastly different from what I was accustomed to. I veered towards a less crowded section of town, continuing my walk, when suddenly, the sound of a gunshot pierced the air. My body froze, and my head snapped in the direction of the noise. In the distance, I spotted two figures—a man and a woman. Without daring to investigate further, I swiftly turned and ran, paying no mind to the mud splattering on my skirt. At that moment, running was the only important thing, outfit be damned.
"Jusko po..." I gasped, leaning my back against a wall once I deemed myself far enough from the commotion. I panted heavily, resting my hands on my knees to catch my breath. People cast strange glances in my direction, but I paid them no mind. No one could know what I had witnessed.
After calming myself down for a while, I realized I couldn't simply return home. Walking down the familiar streets, I made my way to the market and purchased the items on my list. Once back home, I placed them on the kitchen table before heading upstairs to change. Convincing myself that the gunshot from earlier were just friendly fire, that utbjust happened on accident.
As I descended the stairs, I overheard the boys conversing amongst themselves. Arthur now owned the Garrison, and Tommy had made an attempt on Ada's husband. They were planning to attend a Derby.
"So, you're taking the pretty barmaid, eh mate?" John asked. I paused for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, realizing that Tommy had a date.
Peeking my head around the corner, I caught sight of John and Arthur snickering to themselves.
"Whoa, Thomas has a date?" I exclaimed, capturing the attention of the three men. John was the first to respond, saying, "Of course he does."
"And she's a pretty one too, works at the Garrison!" Arthur chimed in. Unbeknownst to me, Thomas had been watching me the entire time, and as our eyes met, I gave him a thumbs-up.
"Good luck, treat her right," I said, my smile turning into a more serious expression. I was well aware of how women were often treated by men during these times.
"It's just business," Tommy replied dismissively.
"Everything is always business to you, Tommy," Arthur groaned, earning a glare from Thomas.
"It'd be nice if you take yourself a woman, eh?" John teased his brother, getting him a smack in the back of his head by Thomas which made me chuckle.
"Well, I heard you own the Garrison now, Arthur!" I interjected, walking over to join them.
"Been eavesdropping, eh, love?" Arthur said with a toothy grin, causing me to blush in embarrassment. When I tried to explain myself, he waved a hand in the air, assuring me it was alright, and mentioned that they would be celebrating at the Garrison. He then began pulling John along with him, leaving me alone with Thomas.
"I heard you tried to shoot Ada's husband. Did you apologize?" I asked, concerned.
"He's not dead."
"Did you apologize?" I repeated, but was only met with silence, I let out a sigh.
"Well, you should. If you're going on a date, you need to show respect to your sister before other women—"
"It's just business."
"Even so, Thomas. When's the date?" I inquired.
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, as I continued referring to his "business" as a date.
"Tomorrow"
"Since you guys will be busy, I'll go out and find a library. Maybe they'll have something that can help me go back. I'll finish my work today and even do some extra to make up for it," I declared, informing him, knowing he won't stop me. When he only nodded, I took that as my cue to leave. Going inside the betting shop to officially start the day.
///
When tomorrow finally came, I went down to find out the boys have left already. I didn't see where Polly was but Finn was in the kitchen, he threw something in the fireplace.
I walked over to him, my curiosity peaked. "Hey, what was that, hm?" When I crouched down, it was a cigarette.
"Finn?" I held it out, wanting him to explain but were just met with a guilty look. I was aware enough that children from these times smoke and drank alcohol, Finn himself wouldn't be an exception, it shouldn't have had surprised me, especially since Thomas and the others smoked quite often.
"You're still young"
"I'd turn 11 soon,"
"Well, you're still 10. Do it when you're old enough to make decisions for yourself, I've got to go somewhere, but no more of this, okay?" He nodded, which made me smile, patting his head.
"Good, if Pol asks where I am, I'm off to the library"
To my surprised, when I left there was a Peaky Boy by the door, when he approached me, he said that Thomas asked him to escort me to the library since it was far away.
///
"Seriously? Still nothing?"
It has been hours and I still haven't found anything concerning time travel. Though this was expected, it still quite annoyed me. I felt hopeless, feeling tears start to make their way to fall down my cheeks.
"Ma'am, shall I take you home? Its getting quite dark." The Peaky Boy said which stopped my train of thoughts. Quickly wiping my eyes, I looked up at him and forced a smile.
"Yeah, sure." After finishing up, we began to walk our way towards town, it was quite silent so I tried to make conversation with the guy.
"So, what's your name?"
"Charles, Ma'am." I nodded in acknowledgment by his answer, chuckling a bit.
"You don't have to be so stiff, call me (Y/N)," he smiled at that and after we continued to walk with comfortable silence around us, letting me forget my frustration for a moment.
"Thanks for escorting me, by the way"
I bid him goodbye before walking inside the house. Once inside, no one was there, guess everyone's out. I went to Thomas' room, which can be considered mine for the time being.
Feeling a sense of boredom, I picked up a sketchbook and some pencils that Arthur had given me. The pages were already filled with a few sketches done by both me and him. Reflecting on the events of the day, I attempted to draw my brother, trying my best to capture his face. I couldn't help but worry that if I stayed here any longer, I would forget—forget my friends, my family, and the cherished memories we shared. It dawned on me that while I'm here they're probably looking for me.
Deciding to create a comic strip depicting my memories and descriptions of my family, I couldn't help but tear up a little. I had already forgotten my mother and brother's voice.
"Ma, miss kona kayo ni kuya... Mama..."
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, and I quickly composed myself before inviting the visitor in. It was Polly.
"Pol..."
"The boys are at the Garrison, celebrating. I came to pick you up. Are you alright, love?"
I smiled and nodded. "I'm alright, Pol. It's nothing, just a bit of homesickness. I'll stay here for the night. Do tell them I said congratulations." She nodded, relieved that she didn't pry any further, and left, bidding me goodnight.
///
Unable to sleep that night, I found some peace in my drawings. I kept a candle by my bedside to provide light, sitting with my knees drawn close to my chest and my back against the wall, facing the door with the notebook resting on my thigh.
After a while, I could hear the sound of people talking downstairs. It seemed like Arthur had indulged in a few drinks as he kept yelling, something about a man called Kimber. When the commotion subsided, there was another knock on my door, followed by Thomas' voice asking if I was still awake. I replied affirmatively, and he took it as his cue to enter. Closing the door behind him, he remained silent, prompting me to break the silence.
"So, how was the date? Did it go well?"
"I told you, it's business, eh?" he chuckled, walking over to sit beside me.
"What brings you here?"
"It's my room."
"Fair enough. But why are you here?" I asked. However, instead of responding directly, he asked a question of his own.
"How did your visit to the library go?" I sighed, playing with my hands as I slumped my shoulders.
"Terrible. I feel like I'm trapped here forever. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be with you all, but I had a life back there, you know? If I stay here any longer, I'm afraid... i just miss my mother, brother, and my friends."
"You have a brother?" he asked, glancing back at me. I nodded, slightly distracted by his question.
"Yeah, he's annoying but caring. We used to play games together."
"Oh, really? What kind?" he inquired. I smiled and lightly punched him on the shoulder.
"Are you just trying to distract me?" I teased. He shrugged, pursing his lips in an attempt to suppress a smile, though I could see it in his eyes.
We continued our conversation, and somehow, before we knew it, we found ourselves lying in bed, facing each other. I kept talking, and he listened.
"Are you sure I'm not bleeding your ears?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him.
He shook his head and encouraged me to keep talking by gesturing to the side.
"Where was I again?" I questioned, testing if he was genuinely paying attention.
"You were talking about your dog named 'Dog,'" he replied.
"Ah, right."
As I was drifting off to sleep, I noticed him getting up, trying not to disturb me.
"Hey, Thomas..."
"Hm?"
"If I met you in my time, siguro nahulog nako sayo"
///
Those were the words that left (Y/N)'s lips. Thomas, though not fully understanding the context, couldn't help but smile nonetheless. He bid her goodnight before leaving to sleep downstairs.
Only he knew the true reason why he had sought her out after returning from the Garrison. Somehow, being with her made him feel like his former self, the boy he was before the war. She brought a genuine warmth to his life, treated him like a normal person and not something broken, not someone without a heart, and not someone that killed so many in the name of war. When she looked at him, he feels like she sees the boy he was, coaxing him to come out little by little, and that comforted him because she sees him, sees someone he thought he can never be again. What began as fascination had blossomed into something deeper. He yearned to know more about her, to delve into the stories and memories she shared. Her voice brought him a sense of comfort. In his own way he wanted her to feel heard, wanted her to know he was there, with her, with everything she will do while she's here.
But deep down, he knew she didn't belong here, and that she would eventually have to leave. So, as much as he wanted to make her stay as memorable as possible, if he could be selfish with her, he hoped against hope that she would choose to stay.
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sl-newsie · 8 months ago
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American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 17: Old Wounds and New Beginnings
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It’s getting late. I should be heading back now. The park is no place for a lady at night, no matter what manner of weaponry I’m carrying. It’s funny- I haven’t seen many Peaky Blinders posted around. Was there another meeting?
Back at the Shelby home I see no one is home. Obviously they went somewhere and no one has broken in. I suppose I’ll just make a quick supper and turn in-
“Someone get the door!” Polly shouts from up front.
What in Heaven? I rush over and open the door to see Polly’s wide eyes. “Hello Polly, where- Oh my God!”
Outside stands Polly, a mystery woman, and Ada, who looks like a tick about to pop. Her red face and heavy breathing cause my womanly instincts to kick in. She’s in labor.
“Make way, make way! We need to get her to the bed,” the Polly makes way for the other woman to help Ada inside her bedroom.
“I’ll get towels!” I call and sprint to the storage cupboard. 
When I reach Ada’s room she’s crying out in pain. Water soaks the floor and in the dim light I see streaks of blood. It looks just like what the other women in Brooklyn go through back at home.
“Here, love!” Polly grabs the towels from my hands and tries to sooth Ada. “Keep going, that’s right. Push.”
“I think it might be the other way around,” the stranger observes, examining between Ada’s legs 
Who is this woman? “Are you the midwife?” I ask with stern suspicion.
“Verena, we can trust her,” Polly instructs. “Please go get more hot water.”
I ask no further questions. Polly’s judgment is what brought me here, it’s safe to trust when it comes to Ada’s health. That’s my priority now. I rush to the kitchen and pour heated water into hot water bottles. Hopefully it will ease the pain. Back in the bedroom Ada continues to let out harbored breaths.
“One more push!” the woman instructs.
“Aaahhh!” Ada cries.
I kneel next to the bed and grab her hand- almost getting my own crushed by her forceful grip. As she pushes once more her crying gets drowned out by the whimpering of a newborn babe. I keep a distance to provide privacy and don’t see the child’s face until the woman holds it up.
“It’s a boy!” She announces with a joyful smile.
“A boy…” Ada breathes with relief, no longer in pain.
The cord is cut and the child is brought to its tired but happy mother. The process unwinding before me is a whole new kind of love, the love of a parent.
“He’s adorable! And healthy-looking too.”
“He’s sturdy, just like his father,” Ada sighs as the newborn begins nursing.
I hand her a towel to wrap around him. “And just as spirited as his mother. God bless you both!”
Fate must be aligned because another noise from the hallway catches my attention and we see Freddie walk in. When he sees the child his face melts into a big smile and he sits down gently next to his wife to marvel at the strong lad. Both Polly and I take that as our cue to leave the room, joining the new woman in the kitchen.
“Sorry, in the haste of the moment I didn’t get to meet you properly.” I extend a hand and we shake. “I’m Verena. What’s your name?”
The petite dark-haired woman offers a kind smile. “Esme. I’m also sorry about the rushed introduction. It must be strange to have me here now.”
A frown makes its way onto my face. “Here? What do you-?”
Bang bang!
“Open up! Police!”
Suddenly the front door is busted open and coppers swarm the house, headed straight for Ada’s room.
“You can’t come in here, there’s a baby just been born-!” Esme tries to tug them away, protecting the mother and child.
The cops drag Freddie out by his shirt and all but shove him out the door.
“Don’t hurt him! Please, leave him alone!” Ada cries from her room.
“Leave him be, you bastards!” I give a stiff punch to an officer’s face. This gets their attention and they all try to decide if they should lay a hand on me too. “How do you have the nerve to do this? To part a father from his newborn son?” I point a scolding finger at each of them. “Shame on all of you!”
My words practically dissolve and they give no mind to them, dragging poor Freddie down the dark streets. Meanwhile Polly and Esme are trying to soothe Ada.
“They took him! They took him!” She sobs, causing her son to join her.
“Steady, Ada,” I squeeze her hand. “I’ll go tell Thomas. And when I do I’m going to kill him!”
I storm out and head straight for the first place Thomas might be at this time of night: the Garrison. Sure enough the leader of the Peaky Blinders is heading out the door with a fresh cigarette.
“Thomas Shelby!” I grunt and grab hold of his coat. “You need to get your arse home right now! Them coppers took Freddie ‘nd Ada’s have’n a meltdown!”
“Whoa whoa, slow down. Now, tell me without the Brooklyn accent.”
“Somehow the coppers knew where to find Freddie. They arrested him mere minutes after the birth of his son.”
Thomas’ face shifts to a serious one and he quickens his pace back to the house, where Polly approaches to discuss the matter with Thomas. This is a family matter so I shouldn’t interfere despite the urge to input. Now I understand why Ada’s been distant from the Blinder business. Why would you bring a child into this? After what happened with Finn it’s no secret that this is no place for a youth.
“She’s steady now,” Thomas walks back to me.
“Good. How was the family occasion?” 
Thomas recollects tonight’s events by lighting another cigarette. Somewhere in his muttering I hear ‘lovely wedding.’
My spirits lift. “A wedding? Who’s the lucky couple?”
“John, and his new wife Esme.”
So that’s why she’s here! “I thought John was going to marry Lizzie?”
He shakes his head. “Backed out. So to make an alliance with the Lees I offered John. John needed a wife, the Lee family had a woman who needed a husband.”
My face falls as quick as it lifts. “Oh no, Thomas Shelby you did not! How could you? How could you just spring that on someone, your own brother?”
Is it all a power struggle for him? I was right. His tendency to ignore love is what’s distancing him from what’s really important.
“He’s not complaining,” Thomas sounds optimistic. “He loves her already. Now we have to worry about getting Freddie back.”
John’s new bride almost makes me forget about Freddie. “So you didn’t tip off Campbell?”
Thomas’ face clouds over. “No.”
“Then who did?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”
The Peaky Blinder looks down at me, almost seeming to size me up for anything suspicious. Do you think that I know something you don't know? If I don't always promise you the answers, do you see me differently?
The next morning brings little efficiency about Ada’s current standing with Thomas. 
“She’s gone?”
Polly nods and finishes chewing her apple. “Left without a word. She’s furious with all of us. Thinks one of us sold out Freddie. She’s locked herself in her apartment and won’t let me in. I just took her some fresh bread, but there’s a slim chance she’ll accept it.” 
Poor Ada. Only been a mother since last night and she’s already facing trouble. Speaking of trouble-
“Polly, I need to tell you something. Yesterday I went to the Garrison for a drink. Grace mentioned that she has a fear of breaking Thomas’ heart. Maybe it’s just me, but that does not seem like something a normal person would say. Is it wrong of me to be so apprehensive?”
The more I say the more her expression darkens. “It is never wrong to doubt someone, Verena. Faith in the Lord is one thing. Faith in humanity, that’s something else. Have you told Thomas?” 
“No. I don’t want to ruin his chance at a good life.”
“Good or not, I’m going to keep a close eye on this Grace character.” Her face turns to me and she tries to show a smile. “You alright, love? Need something to eat?”
“Actually I am feeling a tad peckish, yes. It’ll do me some good to do some baking later once I have breakfast. Do you have any tasks for me today, Polly? Anything I can do to help?”
The tired woman shakes her head and puffs on a cigarette. “I wish I could say no but we’ve got some catching up to do with the records. I’ll need some help in the office-”
Creak.
The door opens and reveals Thomas. If he has any opinion about the current predicament he’s doing a good job of hiding it.
“Did you talk to her?”
Polly’s eyes burn into him with silent fury. “She didn’t talk back.”
Thomas looks between her and me and tries to calm the storm. “I’ll only say this one more time. It wasn’t me.”
Thud. Thud. Thud. Polly’s heels echo as she storms across the room and goes to poke a finger at Thomas. 
“Tommy, I’d ask you to swear on the Bible. But you can’t swear on that, can you? Nothing you hold sacred.”
She huffs in frustration and stomps off to her room. Thomas looks to me for sympathy but I’m torn on giving any to him. It’s not the first time he would have lied for what he considers good intentions. Still… He really does want Ada to be happy. When he sees my hesitation Thomas just grunts and pulls out another cigarette before walking away to the door again.
“Going to repent on your thoughts?”
“Going to run through some things with Grace,” he mutters. “I’ll be back later.”
Back to Grace. Wonderful. I’m back to being alone-
“Verena!”
Or not. Solitude will have to wait.
“Morning, Finn! Here for another lesson, I imagine?”
The young Shelby grabs a roll and nods eagerly. “A quick one. Then I’m playing ball in the park.”
His ambition is just the refreshing drive I need. “Of course. We can walk around the block.”
With my pistol safely in my skirt pocket, we exit the back door and begin strolling into the damp streets. It’s cloudy today, almost copying the dreary mood everyone’s been in.
“How about… Insanity?”
His face scrunches. “Insanity? Why do we need to talk about that?”
“Because you cannot bury the obvious. Back home our asylums lock people away for their safety but do little to help the patients’ mental needs. Perhaps that it’s our world that is insane, and the ones we call mad are actually of sound mind.”
Finn snickers. “Tommy can go pretty mad sometimes.”
“Possibly. It may be possible to have fleeting episodes of insanity. Certain elements in the human brain that twerk now and then. Have you been reading any of the authors I assigned?” He nods. “Good. In Narcotics Anonymous, a guide book for addicts, Albert Einstein states that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Our conversation is drawing the attention of a few pedestrians. Their judgeful stares seep through me but Finn reacts differently.
“Verena, I don’t think this topic is widely popular.”
“Popular or not, it’s still important. Take a moment to enjoy your peace of mind, Finn. In whatever world we live in, God has graced us with the ability to comprehend our surroundings.” We reach the front of the house and I hold the door open for him. “A little food for thought.”
“Thanks, Verena.” Finn’s still stewing over my words but doesn’t reject them. “Maybe someday- Huh?”
We both halt at the end of the hall and peer inside the kitchen. At the table sits an unfamiliar man, who’s being watched by Polly and John like a vulture stalking its prey. Arthur lounges in a nearby chair with a much-less stern demeanor.
“Finish your sandwich and sling your hook,” Polly orders.
“Now who’s this?” I ask, bewildered.
Finn doesn’t answer and wanders over to stand close to the man. He ruffles Finn’s hair and Polly looks as if she could stab his eyes out. John sees me hiding around the corner.
“Steenstra, meet our father. Arthur Shelby Senior.”
Their father? Thomas never mentioned-
“Hello, darling,” the Shelby Senior grins. “Who might you be?”
I take a breath of courage and step into the room. “I’m Finn’s tutor.”
His eyes light up at my accent. “Ah, an American! Where’d you lot pick her up? Girl like you looks too fine to be a tutor. Are you sure you ain’t helping out my boys with other prospects?”
What?! Polly hisses and John moves to grab my arm. Not threateningly, just to quietly ask me to not make a scene. He, Polly, and I are thinking the same thing.
“Sir, I am a proper woman and will not be talked to like that! Excuse me.”
I pull away from John’s grasp and pivot back to the door. The church will provide sanctuary from this outrageous conspiracy-!
“Oh!” Thomas meets me at the door and my pulse startles, but only for a split second. “Thomas, there’s someone in there I will not tolerate.”
His eyes narrow when he sees my disgust and he brushes past. I follow quietly and peek out from behind. The instant Thomas sees his father he doesn’t hesitate. “Get out.”
“Come on, son. I’m a changed man.” How was he before?
“This family needed you ten years ago, and you walked out on us. Get out of this house.”
The man still doesn’t budge. “Tommy, it’s-”
“Shut up!” Thomas seethes. 
I remove the pistol from my skirt and hold it firmly at my side. I don’t care who this man is. Thomas’ judgment of him is good enough for me. The man gathers that our hostility is not receding and finally stands up.
“Well, I shall take my leave then.” He walks past Finn and pats his head. “Goodbye, son.”
I can tell Finn’s disappointed to see his father leave but John pulls him back to erase those thoughts. The man passes me but not before I give him another one of mother’s murderous glares. Once he’s shut the door Polly immediately relaxes.
“He’s our dad,” Arthur tries to lighten the mood.
Thomas sighs. “He’s a selfish bastard.”
“You calling him a selfish bastard? That’s rich, coming from you. Thanks to you we’re already down one bloody sister.”
“You want to see him, Arthur? You go with him.”
And Arthur does just that. He stands up and gives Thomas one last disappointed look, then takes off out the door. Lord, I know my family has its quarrels but never have I seen such mayhem in family matters.
“Sorry about that, love,” Thomas mutters and looks down at the gun in my hand. He knows I don’t pull it out for nothing. “You won’t need that now. What did he do to her, John?”
“Basically called her an American whore,” John growls with hatred.
Thomas stiffens and abruptly walks over to me with a tight jaw. “Verena, if that man ever speaks to you again you have my full permission to shoot his balls off. I- We’re sorry you had to see that. ‘S just… not every part of the Shelby clan is respectable.”
The pistol is returned to its place and I put a hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize for your family, Thomas. Neither of you do. I know none of you think I’m… that. One person’s scatterbrained belief doesn’t define everyone’s.” It’s time for me to go. Their family matters are private and I shouldn’t be here-
“You’re more our family than that traitor, Verena.”
I pause at John’s words before I reach my room. Family. With all the hardship this family’s seen, how can they trust me so easily? See me as one of their own? According to Uncle Colon it’s a high honor to be accepted as an outsider into a mob business, especially one as brutal as the Peaky Blinders.
“Thank you very much, all of you. That means a great deal.”
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queenshelby · 9 months ago
Text
AMERICAN GIRL (PART THREE)
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace's Stepdaughter!Reader
Warning: Grace is a bully, infidelity, taboo
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The following day, Tommy had, indeed , arranged for a tutor to come to the mansion and work with Emma and, much to the dislike of Grace, he had offered you a position in one of his many legitimate establishments where, unbeknownst to you, he could keep an eye on you.
Usurpingly, he did not trust you yet, seeing how Grace had betrayed your father by sleeping with him. As such he believed that you were nothing but a wildcard, a force that could not be calculated, and therefore potentially presented a threat to him and his livelihood. 
And yet, despite himself, Tommy found himself intrigued by you nonetheless. There was an allure about you that could not be ignored and, moreover, there was a quiet strength in your eyes, a fiery spirit that he found incredibly attractive.
The work that you had been assigned to do under supervision was simple enough - organizing and cataloguing items in one of his stores down in Birmingham - but the time you spent there was never mundane.
One of the women who worked there with you for the time being was no other than Ada Shelby herself, Tommy's sister who was clearly there to spy on you until you could be trusted. Yet, despite the hidden animosity between you two, you quickly became friends.
Ada was a woman of few words but much wit, a firecracker hiding beneath a quiet, steely demeanor. Her dark eyes held a thousand stories, most of which she would never openly share with anyone and you respected her for that.
Ada had a child of her own, but no man by her side to help her raise her young son Karl. Her husband Freddy had passed on several years ago and a tragic loss like this was something you both shared in your lives. 
Just like she looked after her son, you were looking after your sister and  , therefore the two of you found a strong bond between yourselves.
Unlike Ada, you were not shy about sharing stories from your life with her, although they weren't many and, in turn, she spoke about her brother Tommy, about whom you happened to have many questions, none of which she refused to answer.
You wanted to know what kind of man he was and when Ada told you that he did bad things to a good end, you couldn't help but feel intrigued by his many motives. It was during those long hours at work that Ada shared the story of Thomas Shelby and his family, painting a vivid picture of his past that you couldn't help but find utterly captivating.
You learned that Tommy had been in France, and, in spite of his achievements, he threw his medals in the Cut. He was a tunneller during the Great War and, when he came back home, he had seen too much to be able to return to the man he was before.
The war had changed him fundamentally, and this did not surprise you. It had changed your father too, and you remembered, as a little girl, witnessing the way the man you loved dearly had returned from the trenches of Europe battered and emotionally destroyed. 
Ada told you how her brother had started Shelby Company Ltd. with his brothers, how they had built it together and turned it into a formidable force that controlled large portions of the city's trade without giving away the family secrets. Tommy was at the helm of all this, and you could understand why Ada once said that she saw both heaven and hell in his eyes.
He was capable of immense cruelty and merciless violence, but the kind heart he reserved for those closest to him remained hidden behind the tough and unyielding exterior.
You worked at the shop three days a week and, at least once every day, Tommy would come by to check on you before, occasionally, visiting a woman by the name of Lizzie Stark at her nearby lodging. 
You followed them once and found out that Lizzie Stark was a prostitute who worked for Tommy. She was, as far as you could gather, rather smitten by him. It was obvious to you that her and Tommy regularly engaged in intimate relations with each other but, even so, there was something distant in the way he looked at her, as though he was always preoccupied by thoughts far beyond his current reach.
Lizzie didn't seem to notice this while, yet she considered you as her biggest thread and, in spite of your better judgment, you found the thought amusing more than anything else. After all, it should have been Grace who she was jealous of, not you but then again, perhaps she knew as well as you did that Tommy didn't love either of them. As he had told you himself, he didn't have the capacity for love, or so it seemed. 
The first time you saw Tommy with Lizzie however, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of something akin to disappointment. But you weren't disappointed about the fact that he was unfaithful to Grace, but rather , you were disappointed in the way your own heart reacted when you saw them together.
Eventually, four weeks had passed since you started working at the shop, and you've had ample opportunity to observe Tommy's interactions with Lizzie and others. She wasn't the only one he had been seeing and, for some reason, even despite his misgivings, that strange fascination you felt towards him kept growing, albeit slowly.
You couldn't put your finger on what it was that made him so magnetic. His brooding nature and hardened exterior were part of it, but there was more to it than that.
He was a man of many contradictions, and that intrigued you.
That same night, just like many others, you passed him inside the corridors of the large house you were now living in, giving him a knowing glance as if to say 'I know what you did today' without uttering a single word. And he always returned the look with an exasperating half-smile that both maddened and thrilled you. He knew that you knew about his infidelity and, yet he did not seem to care. 
You didn't hate Thomas Shelby or any of the members of his family, but you despised Grace with every fiber of your being.
The day your father died, your whole world had crumbled before your very eyes, leaving you and Emma at the mercy of a woman who couldn't bear the sight of you. She made no secret of this hatred and had been eagerly waiting for your father's fortune to be handed down to her hands.
As such, you really wanted to tell her about her partner's unfaithfulness. You wanted to rub it in and let her know that he was doing to her what she had done to your father all long. But yet, something stopped you.
Some unspoken code of honor, perhaps, or maybe just the small sliver of compassion that still lingered within your wounded heart. You pitied Grace and feared her in equal measure, and you couldn't bring yourself to interfere and risk your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of your little sister Emma who, only in the past week, had started sleeping in her own room. 
Besides, Thomas Shelby was not your concern. He was a grown man who made his own choices, and it was not your place to pass judgment on him. But somehow, you found yourself doing it anyway.
Occasionally, Tommy kept you company when neither of you could sleep and it were those nightly interactions that slowly, almost unknowingly, began to brew a forbidden chemistry between you and him.
Leaning against the banisters, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief as he puffed on his cigarette, you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter when he asked you about your day.
His gaze followed your every action, lingering on the gentle curve of your waist or the crook of your neck as you spoke. It was that same raw intensity that made your skin tingle and your breath hitch - a silent conversation of want and need.
You would meet by chance most nights, either in the library or outside, by the stables, after Grace had gone to bed and whilst your interactions were innocent enough, your conversations were deep and meaningful.  You found Tommy to be intelligent and well-educated, with a passion for literature and fine art, topics that you would discuss at length, fuelled by the desire to learn more about him - and yourself.
Occasionally, you would catch him outside the lavatory in the staff quarters, listening intently as you sang while having a bath or shower. This was something that had always irritated Grace, hearing you sing, but Tommy seemed to enjoy it - or, at least, he never let on if he didn't.
One late night, as you were making use of the large piano near the library,  Tommy entered the room. You hadn't heard him come in, but you felt his gaze on you, watching intently as your fingers danced across the keys.
You paused for a moment, turning to face him before continuing your musical journey with another melody.
"You have a quite a talent for music,"  Tommy commented, his gaze cast downward to the floor.
Tommy leaned against one of the tall, mahogany shelves that lined the room. The soft amber glow from the fireplace illuminated one side of his face, granting him a certain warmth in his usually stoic features.
"I learned from my mother," you stated simply, continuing to play. Your gaze remained focused on the falling notes you were creating on the piano, not daring to turn your head and meet his gaze.
But, oh, how you wanted to! His presence made you feel all kinds of things, some you'd never experienced before, like unsettling excitement and an irrepressible craving for that forbidden fruit.
"I sometimes come to the staffing quarters just to hear you sing in the shower," he  murmured, his eyes locked on yours as he confessed.
You felt your cheeks heat up, your pulse quickened as you continued to playing the piano, the melody now more dramatic. You couldn't believe what you were hearing; he must have been joking, being so direct but if this was the game he wanted to play, then you would oblige.
"I have noticed, and so have the maids. You should be more cautious," you teased, a soft chuckle escaping your lips as the corners of your eyes crinkled with amusement.
Tommy pushed off the shelf, moving closer to you, the space between you shortening rapidly. He leaned on the piano now  , effectively entrapping you between him and the instrument. You could feel the warmth emanating from his body, and it made your heart race.
"Perhaps I wanted you to notice," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze bore into yours, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed.
"And perhaps I wanted you to listen,"  you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
The tension in the room grew thicker, filling the air with a palpable energy that neither of you seemed capable of breaking. The only sound in the room was the gentle strumming of the piano keys beneath your fingertips.
Tommy leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel his chest rise and fall with each shallow breath he took, his eyes never leaving yours as he leaned over you and turned the page on the book in front of you.  You were acutely aware of the proximity between you, the way his body seemed to align perfectly with yours as if you were two halves of a whole. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a spark that threatened to consume you whole.
"Can you play this?"  Thomas asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he pointed to the new sheet music. His proximity still had your heart pounding, the wild beat echoing in your ears.
"Yes, of course I can. I can play anything," you winked  playfully before turning your attention back to the music sheet, your fingers dancing gracefully over the keys. You felt Tommy's gaze on you as you played, his presence making your heart race.
You continued to play, the melody filling the library with its enchanting sound. You could feel the weight of Tommy's gaze on you, and it sparked a fire within you that you couldn't ignore. Your fingers moved faster over the keys, your body swaying gently to the rhythm of the music.
Tommy watched you in awe, your talent and beauty captivating him completely until, suddenly, the door swung open .
Grace swept into the room, her eyes narrowing at the sight of Tommy standing so close to you, his hands hovering near yours.
"What is going on here?" she demanded, her voice tight with anger as Tommy stepped away from you.
"I am listening to Y/N play the piano," Tommy replied smoothly, his eyes never leaving yours for a moment. 
Grace's gaze flicked from you to Tommy and back again, her jaw tightening as she clearly struggled to maintain her composure. "I can see that, but I wonder why? Why are you listen to her play the piano at this hour?" she  pressed, her voice dripping with suspicion.
Tom's eyes remained locked onto yours, a silent message passing between you, a promise of something unspoken that only the two of you could understand.
"Because she plays beautifully, Grace. And, as usual, I can't fucking sleep, eh" Tommy replied, his nonchalant tone grating on Grace's nerves. She stared daggers at him, her eyes narrowed to slits.
"Well, wrap it up, because I cannot sleep either because of it," Grace said, her voice tight with anger, causing Tommy to look at her with a mix of irritation and mild amusement before standing up.
"I will see you tomorrow, Y/N. Have a good night," he told you, ignoring Grace's outburst and leaving you in a state of confusion and frustration.
You watched him leave, his presence leaving an ache in your core that took you by surprise while Grace told you to be quite and to go to bed. You didn't object, you knew better.
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