#actually that's not the only loud sound - that's the only sensory issue i'm allowed to have period

[enbyboiwonder]

The ceiling light in the bathroom got replaced ages ago, and they picked the brightest light they could find, so for years I’ve solely used the one above the mirror since it’s a much dimmer, soft yellow. Well, it finally started to die, and of course—they picked the fucking brightest light they could find. So now I can’t use the light in the bathroom at all anymore. I fucking hate it here.

[i-ate-gravel]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I have no problem with people who don't like kids. That's valid, and there's nothing wrong with it. As long as you don't dehumanize them, that kind of thing, it's totally normal. Kids are not for everyone.

However, "I hate kids" people just don't make sense to me, and Neurodivergent people who "hate kids" make me genuinely upset. Every argument they have is ridiculous. Yes, I get it, children can be annoying and loud.

Children are members of society just like everyone else. You cannot expect someone who has no experience being alive to conform to societal expectations immediately and perfectly. So many people say that they hate kids bc they are neurodivergent and have sensory issues etc etc.

Neurodivergent people should understand better than ANYONE that societal rules are very hard to conform to when you don't know what the rules are. People with sensory issues should understand better than ANYONE how overwhelming it would be to experience sensory input for the very first time in your entire life. "Babies cry, it gives me sensory overload!" Babies literally never even saw shapes and colors until recently. They only experienced very muted sounds in utero. I assure you, they are having sensory overload too, and that's part of why they are crying!

If you can have empathy for someone having a meltdown in public due to sensory issues, but you cannot have empathy for a new human struggling to adjust to life as perfectly as you expect, the problem isn't the child. The problem is you.

You are holding children to a standard that you as a neurodivergent person struggle to meet, even as an adult. The only way for children to adjust to the world, to learn and grow, is to be allowed in society. Having everybody openly hate you just for existing, for inconveniencing them by just being there, is one of the worst feelings. And if you are neurodivergent, you likely know the feeling, and shouldn't contribute to other people feeling it.

This is as someone with autism and ADHD, with severe sensory problems that make my life hell. Also as someone who sees children as actual human beings.

i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

[thealphapigeon]

That post you reblogged with the “they should get their hearing tested” tag made me curious, & you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, that’s fine! As an autistic HOH person, do you have any sensory sensitivities involving sound? Iirc you mentioned not owning birds bc they scream too much. What else is too loud for you? Does being HOH help with some sensitivities? Do you have any sensitivities that are *caused* by being HOH? Thank you for your time!

This is SUCH a fun series of questions, allow me to answer things in a broken up style. This will be a long one lads, I dunno how to stick a readmore in on mobile

As a kid before my hearing began to degrade, I was deathly afraid of noise like thunder, sirens, alarms, balloons popping, applause, hell at family gatherings when I was a baby I'd start SCREAMING the moment everyone started saying a prayer to bless the meal. I was a nuisance lmao

By middle school though those sort of sensory triggers didn't impact me much if at all, both because I learned how to tune things out and my hearing by then was poor enough I required preferred seating in the classroom. I was even a euphonium player in the school band for a few years. So I would definitely say losing my hearing has "helped" with the sensitivity on that front.

These days though I actually need sound to be functional and it has to be consistent, mechanical white noise, especially as I sleep. As a baby my parents wouldn't sing me lullabies, instead they set me on top of the washing machine until I fell asleep, played a recording of the hair dryer on an old cassette tape, or even make a sort of low buzzing sound through their teeth. I was... a weird kid. I have 2 fans going in my room at all times and my favorite place to sleep in the house is the basement, because I can hear the furnace through the wall. Unfortunately I do wake up whenever it switches off. Without consistent white noise, I do start to become aware of the low level tinnitus my hearing has left me with, which while not terrible it does give me a headache after a couple hours.

Going back to the tag I left on that post, I mentioned that because all throughout my life I have never simply.. listened to music because more often than not the lyrics would be only half heard by me and thus would be nonsense. As soon as subtitles started becoming common practice I returned to a lot of movies I loved as a kid and rewatched them. And holy shit did that change things for me.

These days my sensory issues relating to sound are mostly a matter of if I'm already having a rough day, I'm far more sensitive to texture, and my favorite form of stimuli is visual which is why I trend towards maximalism anytime I decorate anything. I love to see 👀

Thanks again for the ask!! I hope that answered some stuff

[journalofsorts2]

i was gonna tell my dad something, it doesn't matter what it was, it was just something stupid. but i should've known he was in a bad mood cause he was already turning the volume up on his duolingo to drown the sound of me and my sisters conversation out, even though we weren't that loud. anyways, i turn to him and i'm like "hey dad" and he pauses and does a deep sigh and answers with a exasperated "yes?" and i like to think i'm not that good at reading body language but even an idiot could tell you don't want to talk to me from that. so i pause now and i'm like "are you okay?" and now he's getting frustrated and he's like "jesus! what?! what serena?! what?!" (he didn't actually yell but he was definitely raising his voice, also i haven't told him i want to go by eren yet) and so i pause again, and i'm like "nevermind" cause this is too much buildup to just tell him about something stupid i saw on tiktok. and he keeps pushing cause i think he's thinking this is too much buildup for me to just say nothing and he's like "jesus serena! you're reading too much into this! what is it?!" and like no the fuck i'm not, i'm reading the right amount into it, like you clearly don't want me bothering you. so i say nevermind again and he does that signature angry dad grumble and goes back to duolingo and now me and my sisters conversation is over and i feel like crying and i feel stupid and so i got some water and came back up here to write this. idk he just make me feel like a big idiot and a big mistake a lot of the time and it sucks, but i get it, i mean im not the best and i think he's like me where at night it's easier to get overloaded sensory wise and i think it was just that happening again cause this definitely isn't the first time he's snapped at me during his duolingo. and like thats not the sucky part about this, like i'm kinda bitchy when i get overloaded, i get it, y'know but it hurts to know that he knows he hurt my feelings and he's not going to apologize for it later. he doesn't feel remorse for his actions when he hurts me (or at least not to my knowledge) because he never says otherwise. he only ever apologizes for the surface level stuff, the stuff that at the end of the day doesn't matter, but when it's something that actually affects his character, he gets defensive and dismissive about it and it turns into a fight. and i'm not allowed to fight with him because if we fight and i don't have him, i have nothing. i never have my mom and if i don't have him, i'm all out of parents. i'm all out of people who will love me. and like he's reminded me before, he's all i have left. if he hates me then i'm all on my own. and idk, this is why i don't like the holidays, cause it's the one time of year where people get to pretend they've been nice to me all year and they get to pretend that they love me and that they loved me all year and it just always feels so fake. i just want it to feel real for once, i want to feel loved for once. idk my dad has angry issues and i usually get the brunt of it. rant over

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!���

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[roses-and-lightnings]

A struggling ADHDer confession

I was born mentally ill, maybe it was my premature birth that didn't allow my brain to fully develop, or my genetics but

I have ADHD, which is a chronic lack of norepinephrine neurotransmitters, as well as fewer dopamine receptors and considerably smaller brain volume

For that reason, other illnesses were allowed to develop, such as my crippling anxiety

I am primarily hyperactive-impulsive, my executive functions are impaired, my thoughts are always racey, I have lots of issues with processing information and communicating, I sensory overload quite easily and it's embarrasing, I'm loud and can't stop pacing around for the life of me and it's been 10 years I'm a nocturnal. I take 4 different meds, because my strong hyperactiveness and anxiety prevents me from being treated with stimulants. Combining with the meds I take for other health issues, I swallow about 12 pills a day, in which 10 are my daily anxiety and ADHD treatment. This fella right here is my monthly drug baggie:

Sometimes it felt like a superpower, to think super fast and make a thousand associations per second and be much more creative than anyone else ever was. I'm a talented artist, writer, scientist, I have neurodivergent and neurotypical friends that love me, and I don't have anything else I could ask for

And I was used to love being this way, being me, the only way I can be, yes, I am mentally disabled, but I'm happy with who I am, and nothing could ever change that, right?

Actually, when I look at the exams I fail because I can't set numbers apart, or when I forget to write my answer, details I neglect, no matter how hard I try, I mess up for some very stupid, very fucked up reason that is not even my fault. Not only in academics, but in life and relationships. I forget nearly everything, I can't stay still in a reunion and most days my brain just turns off all functions and leave me behaving like a squashed vegetable

This has caused me many kinds of problems, from the smallest as losing an appointment, to failing an entire college semester, to being kicked out of my frat and getting homeless in a foreign city, because people just couldn't live with me

And I just feel like a failure, a mistake, and wish I didn't exist, I wish I could die and be reborn as someone else, someone that won't have to face these stupid issues, or never even be reborn at all, I just want to disappear

Everyone else can do it eventually if they try really hard, why can't I? Oh, yeah, my brain is wired wrong, thanks a lot

And the worse? No do-overs for me. No one will provide me assistance when I fail due to my brain issues, they'll throw me in the trash. No one will understand, no one will give me another chance to try again, I'll just have to deal with it the same way normal neurotypicals do, and if I can't do it, well, it's because I'm just not trying hard enough, like the useless, pathetic trashbag I am. I should just stop being lazy and begin to work harder, and if I can't do it, if I'm a such a terrible, awful, disgusting human being, then I surely deserve to be outed of society, I deserve everything that happens to me for not having a normal, 100% functional brain

After everything that has happened this week, my mind issues just sound more and more like an excuse for being idle and dumb, and that I should just quit trying if I'll clinically never be able to make it. I'll never be able to change, or make anything worth it.

[bender-of-life]

Ey I'm always open for rp! Just know minors are not allowed to have 18+ interactions with my muses as they are all over the age of 21. It you wish to rp in DMs something can be arranged.

Here are some of my characters.

Ethan-

He’s basically kind of like my self insert character. Sweet, kind, caring. He has certain sensory issues such as particular loud sounds and can be quite anxious at times. He's shy at first and earning his trust will take some time.

In the bnha/mha universe his quirk is his voice much like Present Mic. However he has yet to gain access to equipment to help him with his quirk. The drawback of his quirk is if he uses it for too long, his jaw can lock up or he can knock himself unconscious.

Astaroth-

This is Astaroth, named after one of the princes of Hell, he actually has horns growing from his scalp. He is very gentle and kind, having a thing for animals and friendship bracelet making.

In the bnha/mha universe he has a quirk that allows him to cover his body in any metal as long as he has touched it before. A draw back of this quirk is that it only lasts a certain amount of time and after that he needs to find another metal source.

Moss-

This is Moss, a well mannered man. He enjoys reading books and scrapbooking. He writes poetry and song lyrics and keeps them somewhere no one will find them except himself. He's a gentle soul who's been damaged and manhandled one too many times. He's very wary and will take time before opening up to someone.

In the bnha/mha universe he is quirkless but studies heroes and villains. He's been approached multiple times by All for One but has refused each time.

[enchantedbride]

I'm gonna do what I did to Tay. Gimme all of the nsfw asks with Claude!!

@blackquills-wife*wiggles eyebrows* ALL OF THEM? ALL OF THEM! (Since I have two self-inserts, I’m gonna use Claunna as my ship for answering these asks since that ship is the most developed at this point, and Joanna is well… basically me but a manakete XD).

Reminder that my not safe for work tag is #joey’s citrus garden. Do not interact with posts with this tag unless you’re 18 years of age or older, or you will receive an automatic block. 

1. Is your f/o loud or quiet during sex?

Claude tends to be on the quieter side, but mostly because he’s very good at staying in control of himself in the beginning. But the more he comes apart, the harder it is to stay quiet. That being said, he’s never super loud, even at his most vocal. Although there are other ways for Joanna to tell she’s doing a good job, for example, if she gets him to start devolving into pure profane utterances or his sentences are more broken and scattered, that’s definitely a good sign. >:3c

Joanna on the other hand tends to be pretty good at staying quiet herself, and one of Claude’s favorite things to do is find out how he can draw out more sound from her, what will render unable to help herself. 

2. What is your favourite sex position with your f/o?

…Do I have to pick just one?  It probably flusters her to think about it, but Joanna really enjoys being bent over and taken from behind. She’s also quite partial to being face to face while she rides him. But really though, she’s down for almost anything and both of them do like to experiment. 

3. Do you fantasize about your f/o in a sexual way often?

Joanna didn’t at first, but that’s not unusual for her as someone whose demisexual and just… doesn’t have a sexual interest in anyone right off the bat if/when sexual interest occurs at all. But more recently… she’s been thinking about Claude in that sort of context a lot.

4. Does your f/o prefer to be a dominant or submissive?

I think Claude has about an equal preference and gets enjoyment out of the experience whether he’s the more dominant or submissive partner. Joanna does have a strong tendency towards being a sub so he does tend to be the dominant partner more often than not because of it, but he does try to encourage her to take the reigns on occasion, and enjoys every minute of it when she does. 

5. Does your f/o prefer giving or receiving oral?

 Claude slightly prefers giving because he enjoys turning his partner (in this case, Joanna) into a mess but make no mistake, he’s totally down for receiving oral too. Wheras Joanna is equally interested in both giving and receiving. 

6. What kink does one of you have but the other doesn’t?

Claude is probably more into bondage than Joanna is, so if there’s any tying up to be had, it’s generally him that’s tied up. Likewise, Joanna is more into the idea of being blindfolded while Claude’s not too keen on it, at least for himself, though he’s down for it if the other partner is the one blindfolded.

7. What kinks do both of you have?

Both Claude and Joanna like to experiment and explore each other’s bodies, and both of them definitely enjoy body worship. Both of them also really enjoy having sex while not undressing completely (although there’s a lot of fun to be had in undressing and redressing each other too), and in the case of a quickie there’s a certain thrill to cleaning up quickly and resuming their daily schedule as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and laughing about it later when together before bed at night. Claude likes to tease in bed just as much as he likes to tease in general, if not more, and despite the fact teasing is a bit of a hit or miss subject for Joanna in general social situations, she loves being teased in bed. 

8. Does your f/o like it rough and fast or soft and slow?

I tend to think Claude would actually prefer more soft and slow so he can take his time with Joanna and prolong their enjoyment, but things can get rougher and faster from time to time. When their schedules only allow for a quickie, those tend to be on the rougher side. 

9. If you could live out one kink you and your f/o both share, what would it be?

Oh boy… another one where it’s difficult to choose just one.I guess what comes to mind is more of a scenario.  I like the idea of the two of them being in perhaps a private office that Claude uses. Claude locks the door so they won’t be intruded upon, and the two of them start getting frisky in said office. After Claude has sufficiently gotten Joanna worked up and he’s removed a few articles of his own clothing, he bends her over his desk and lifts up her skirt, pulling down her undergarments and teasing her about how wet she already is for him. She teases him back, but he’s a bit better at goading her into pleading for him. Of course, he happily obliges her when he’s satisfied that she’s ‘demonstrated enough’ how badly she wants him. He tells her to be as quiet as she can, but warns her he won’t make it easy for her, and of course, he doesn’t. 

10. Has your f/o caught you masturbating or vice versa?

Yes, it’s probably happened on occasion. Although the two of them sometimes like to make a game out of purposely watching the other and seeing how long it takes before the other one can’t stand it anymore and pleads to let them touch the other.  I have a bit of a mild voyeurism kink so… 

11. How do you two feel about shower sex?

*sweats* Uh… Joanna really likes it. Like, a lot. Claude probably isn’t as into it as she is, but he’s definitely down for it. For her it’s a sensory thing because she likes the feeling of being soaked from head to toe and running her hands all over Claude when he’s the same way. (Although she also really enjoys showering/bathing together as a form of non-sexual intimacy too, as a way of gentle touching and caring for the other person.)

12. Is there anything about your f/o that stands out sexually?

I’m not entirely sure how to interpret this question. Is this about kinks? Size? Stamina? 

I do like to headcanon that Claude has good stamina and can recover pretty quickly to go for another round if he and Joanna are up for it. I don’t have any particular headcanons about his dick other than the fact he and Joanna fit very well together in a more… physical sense.  *winkwink* 

13. Do you think your f/o would roleplay with costumes or would that be too silly?

Neither of them really do that sort of thing much, although they’ve tried a couple of things at least once. They do like to tease each other and ‘play fight’ on occasion (although Claude and Joanna always make sure the other person knows it’s pretend and not a real fight, especially since Joanna’s autistic traits mean she’s more likely to read a situation literally without some help). Once Claude learns about Joanna’s past as a major religious figure in her homeland, he does at least once make a joke about how even though he’s not particularly religious, there is a goddess (or rather a goddess’s envoy) he’s quite happy to get on his knees for.

14. Does your f/o cuddle after sex or do they prefer to do other things?

Claude is definitely a cuddler and he’s a bit disappointed when he doesn’t get to cuddle afterwards. Although tbh Joanna’s very much the same way so it works out.

15. Is your f/o into pain during sex? if yes do they give or receive it?

I don’t think either of them are particularly into it especially, although Joanna does like to bite and nibble, especially on his ears and neck. He does a little bit of it himself to her, especially giving her pointed ears a little playful tug with his teeth every now and again.

16. Who finishes first during sex?

Joanna. You kind of need to be watchful with her because she’s got some major tactile sensitivity. There are some spots where if you really abuse them she miiiight come a little too quickly. Unless that’s what Claude’s aiming for, which is the case in some circumstances. 

17. If you have more than one f/o, do you have sex with them individually or at the same time?

Claude isn’t currently involved in any polyships of mine (although Manakete!Joanna is in one version of her Awakening verse), but if he were Joanna would probably do both (have sex with her partners individually as well as at the same time) unless for some reason or more of her other partners wasn’t cool with that. 

18. Did you two have sex on the first date?

No. But it took a while for both of them to come to the point of falling love with one another romantically (I don’t headcanon him as demi, but because he is slow to trust normally it still takes time for certain attractions to form and have staying power), and by the time they confessed Joanna’s sexual attraction to him was already beginning to bloom. So it wasn’t terribly long before they did start sleeping together.

19. Are there any specific things your f/o needs in order to enjoy sex? e.g. having the lights on or off, being on the recieving end of the pleasure etc.

I headcanon that for Claude, sexual and romantic attraction are difficult if not impossible to separate. And he needs to really trust a person before romantic attraction can form because of his past. So, indirectly, he really needs to trust someone in order to have/enjoy sex with them. Luckily with Joanna that’s not an issue as he trusts her completely (and of course the two are madly in love and hopeless romantic dorks about it). But other than that I don’t really see him as needing anything in particular.

For Joanna, she can’t really get into it if she thinks there’s a good chance they’re going to be caught/walked in on. As long as she’s certain they have some privacy or at least have a good chance of not being intruded upon, she’s good. (So semi-public sex or stuff that’s in an unusual location isn’t off the table, she just needs reassurance that they’ll generally be safe to do it there.)

20. What kinds of things does your f/o say during sex subconsciously? Is it just swearing or do they blurt out dirty talk?

He swears a little, although he doesn’t really devolve into just swearing until he’s close to coming undone. He tends more towards dirty talk for certain, and he’s learned the right kind can really have quite the enhancing effect with Joanna. There are some words he avoids though since certain words make her upset due to trauma reasons (degrading names for example, or any degradation really is absolutely off the table. he’s not really into that sort of thing anyway but he was thankful Joanna told him ahead of time anyway.). 

[scriptautistic]

Hi! This blog looks so great I'm really excited by it. In a story I'm writing (it's fantasy), there are elves, and as well as being off folklore/mythological elves, they're also based off autistic people but I'm struggling to figure out what an only autistic society would be like, do you have any ideas?

First of all, having a whole, non-human race be autistic can be quite problematic in terms of representation. See Mod Aira’s thoughts on non-human autistic characters here.

Since elves look a lot like humans, and are usually positively described as a race equal or superior to humans, that might not be that much of a problem, but you should still give this issue some thought and make sure this is really something you want to do. This is not a decision I can make for you.

As for the specifics of an autistic-only society, this is where things get fun !

Here are some ideas in no particular order. Of course I can’t cover everything and other autistic peeps are encouraged to pitch in as always!

Everyone is stimming freely and openly. This is seen as a completely normal thing. I don’t know how modern your universe is, but people are allowed to stim in school or in their workplace. Shops have whole “stim toys” aisles. There are sensory rooms available throughout cities for everyone who might get overwhelmed.

Social norms are completely different. Making eye contact is seen as rude, people are expected to explain their jokes and sarcasm. Actually, communities might write down and edit regularly their social rules so they are explicit and available to all.

Kids are taught in schools strategies to cope with sensory overload or to get stuff done with executive dysfunction. They are encouraged to work on their special interests and it is used as a medium to teach them other things. There is highly individualized teaching and varied teaching styles since all kids have different needs. They would also be taught (either by caretakers or educators) many life skills, such as self-care, taking care of a home, taxes… more explicitely.

In our society, there are things that are seen as “basic needs” that everyone shares such as be well-fed, warm enough, not be in pain, have enough time to sleep… In a workplace or school for example, those needs are supposed to be met. The other needs, the ones not everyone has, are seen as “accomodations” when they are met, and are often more begrudgingly met. In an all-autistic society, meeting needs such as sensory needs or break time when you are overloaded wouldn’t be considered as making accomodations, but as meeting basic needs and as a normal thing.

Autistic people are very diverse and sometimes our needs are conflicting. For example, some might be hurt by loud noises, while some may need to stim and regulate themselves by making/ listening to loud noises. So it is probable that people with similar needs would gather in communities.

Since a lot of autistics are nonverbal at least some of the time, I think all verbal people would also know a nonverbal language such as a sign language they could use to communicate with nonverbal individuals or when they go nonverbal themselves. Communicating via AAC wouldn’t be seen as unusual or surprising.

Art and culture would probably be very different. Autistic people are often creative, but they create different things from what allistics create.

I feel like emergencies such as fires would be handled differently. I don’t think loud alarms and blinking lights would be the most efficient. I don’t have ideas for an alternative system though.

Lots of autistic people have trouble driving and I feel like it would have an impact on the most commonly used means of transportation. Either, for a more primitive setting, horse riding would be a huge thing - since horses are sentient they can take care of some of the “looking around to make sure we don’t run over someone or collide into something” - or, for a modern setting, automatized transportation means would have been developed sooner than in our world.

There would be more focus than in our society on precise planning and available information. Navigating administrations wouldn’t be so chaotic, or else no one could deal with it. There would be early on a need to get stuff organized in a very clear, explicit way.

That’s all I can think of for now. I hope this helps!

-Mod Cat

There are some great ideas here and I can think of a million more, but I will restrain myself! I just want to add a couple of things as food for thought:

Sign language isn’t speaking, but it is still verbal (the brain still processes it more or less the same as any other language), so many people (including me) are not able to sign when nonverbal despite being fluent in a sign language. However, many autistic people find signing more comfortable than speaking, so I definitely agree that more people would know how to sign, and it would likely be a second language requirement.

I have to be honest here… Although I have many autistic friends online, I don’t have many that I see regularly face to face. I think there is a reason that autistic people make up a minority of the human race, rather than the majority. For all our advantages, we often have conflicting needs, and we are not at all specialized for living in large groups the way allistic people are. Even though I like my autistic friends a lot, I don’t like spending a lot of time with them in person because they… get on my nerves. I mean in specific ways - for example, we have completely unrelated special interests, and they infodump about theirs for ages, and I have no interest whatsoever but don’t want to interrupt and seem rude (since I hate it when people do that to me). Or they stim and it bothers me. I’m extremely hypersensitive, including to movement, so if someone (besides me) is rocking back and forth or doing another repetitive motion near me, I can’t even open my eyes or I get overloaded. I love my autistic friends and I love the fact that I’m autistic, but I would not want to live in a completely autistic society - I’d have to hide away from other people and I’d become socially isolated even more than I am in this world. Note that this is my personal point of view and NOT true for all autistic people. But there WOULD be people like me who couldn’t deal with being around other people’s stimming, and we might not all get along as well as you might think.

On the positive side: all the things that are considered “disabilities” in this world with regards to autism would be seen as the norm. Not being able to speak some or all of the time would be considered a normal personality trait, like being good or bad at sports or drawing. Suddenly getting up and leaving a conversation due to overstimulation would be perfectly normal. It would be a given that normal respect for other people includes maintaining a quiet and calm environment as much as possible.

Another issue regards public spaces. There is something called “selective attention” which allows people to block out background sensory information and focus only on what is relevant to them at the moment (for example, listening to what one person is saying when there are other conversations happening nearby). In autistic people, this is usually very weak or completely nonexistent. It’s not possible for me to filter out background noise. If I need to meet someone for a conversation or work meeting, it MUST be in a quiet place. I am incapable of following a conversation when more than one person in the room is talking. I literally can’t unscramble their words from the words of other people and it just becomes a jumbled mess of gibberish that rapidly becomes painful. So how would things like restaurants work? Cafes? Parties? Assuming many or most people can’t hear what someone is saying when ANYONE else in the room is talking, how could you have spaces like that? Would they exist at all? Would their be some kind of magic (in a fantasy world) or tech (sci-fi) that can block out all sounds outside of the group you’re in? 

Not trying to poke holes, but trying to point out possible issues that you should think about when creating your society. And as Cat mentioned, be very careful about painting a non-human race as “like humans but autistic”. Being autistic is not an inhuman state, and it can be very damaging to describe it as such, even if your intentions are good. I would be much more comfortable with a human all-autistic society than a non-human one. Maybe consider making the humans all autistic and code the elves as allistic. :P

If you keep all this in mind, I’d be interested to see what kind of society you might come up with. Good luck!

-Mod Aira