#actually spend my whole afternoon trying to color the galaxy but in the end it become smaller thumbnail lmao

[kairukitsuneo]

💥 Venom & Eddie ! 💥

[themetaphorgirl]

I asked for cute and cuddly things so I could write something adorable!! I tried to combine as many as possible!

@therestisconfettis​ : “the psolc babies making a pillow fort!!”

@birds-are-better-than-you​ : “My brain immediately goes to people actually listening to him talk instead of cutting him off, but thats just rooted in sadness”

@fragolinaa​ : “I just want people cuddling him, maybe someone who hasn't yet like Emily or Dave?”

@purpleturtle31extra : “Spending an off day exploring music together! Like showing him songs that remind you of him or a certain memory..”

anonymous: “cute cuddly idea: u mentioned Emily and Dave getting Spencer legos. Write a little thing of a rainy day or whatever and everyone’s just chilling building random shit with legos and then there’s gonna be Spencer actually building something with proper ratios and actual potential urban planning and everyone else is just like “hmm... I have built something vaguely resembling a plane”

anonymous: “omg cuddly mom alex?? maybe spencer napping with her and he has a nightmare??”

I hope I touched on everything!! I think I captured at least a little bit of everything!!!

----------

“Hey,” Emily said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Spencer dragged his fork around his plate, his chin resting heavily in his hand. “I’m not hungry,” he said dully.

“This is your last day to eat whatever you want,” she pointed out. “Go get something sugary. Donuts or something.”

He shrugged, and she bit back a sigh. Everyone else had left on Wednesday afternoon to spend Thanksgiving break with their respective families- literally everyone, even Hotch- and while they’d had a nice Thanksgiving at James’s house, and she was enjoying having her room all to herself, she and Spencer had been left behind, and the kid was moping like it was his job. She was starting to figure out that while he liked doing things on his own, he needed the security of knowing that everyone else was nearby.

“I guess I’ll go get some chocolate milk or something,” Spencer sighed, sliding down from his chair. 

“See? There you go,” she said. “Treat yourself.”

As soon as he slid down from his chair and trudged away she pulled out her phone.

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:09am

You guys need to help w the kid hes so sad i dont know what to do

James texted back first, which didn’t surprise her.

doctor james, medicine man

9:10am

Is he okay? 

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:10am

HES SAD I CANT HANDLE IT COME HELP ME

spaghetti grandpa

9:11am

He’ll be fine. He knows everybodys coming back today right?

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:12am

HE IS SAD NOW COME OVER

She set her phone aside as Spencer walked back up to the table with a carton of chocolate milk in his hands. “Can you open this for me, please?” he asked. 

She did and handed it back, but he didn’t drink it. “How about we go watch a movie or something?” she suggested. “While we’re waiting for everybody to get back on campus. That’ll be fun, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “What time is it?”

“A little after nine.”

He scrunched up his face, calculating. “Who do you think will be back first?” he asked.

“I don’t know, babe, we’ll have to see,” she said. “Drink your milk and we’ll get out of here.”

He sighed. “I don’t think I want it anymore,” he said. She shot him her best impression of Alex’s mom look. He rolled his eyes, but he drank it anyway.

Outside the dining hall it was cold and gray and dreary, rain falling just steadily enough to be irritating. She pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and made Spencer put his purple galaxy-print raincoat on over his his sweater before they walked down the steps. 

“Do you think the weather will ground planes?” he asked anxiously. 

“Your guess is as good as mine, squirt,” she said. “It’ll definitely rain all day, but I don’t know if it’ll affect planes. You’ll probably know better than me.”

He said nothing, but he slipped his small hand into hers. She squeezed back gently. The kid had been perfectly well-behaved the whole time she’d been left to watch him, but it was frustrating to see him so sad and quiet and droopy. She didn’t think it was possible to be homesick for other people, but Spencer definitely had a bad case of it.

They settled in the common room, but the cozy space seemed cavernous and empty without the rest of the group. Spencer left his coat and his shoes in his room and settled into Alex’s usual spot on the couch, leaning on the armrest. 

“So what do you want to do, kiddo?” she said. He raised and lowered one shoulder. She huffed. “I’ll just pick something then.”

“Nothing scary, please,” he said, his chin resting on his folded arms.

“No, don’t worry, I learned my lesson,” she said. She grabbed a Star Wars off the shelf- she wasn’t sure which one it was, but she figured she couldn’t go wrong with something sci fi.

“Hotch’s plane lands at eleven, right?” he said as she plunked down on the opposite end of the couch.

“I think so,” she said. She reached over and ruffled his hair lightly. “Stop overthinking, you’re going to blow a fuse in there. Everyone will be home soon, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” he mumbled.

They got about halfway through Star Wars (she still wasn’t entirely sure which one it was) when they heard Dave and James on the stairs. “Hey, guys!” Dave called. “We’ve got presents!”

Emily paused the movie. “What do you mean, presents?” she said. “What’d you bring me?”

James and Dave each held large plastic tubs that they dropped with heavy clatters on the floor. “Spencer, you’ve been having fun with the legos we got you for your birthday, right?” James said.

Spencer raised his head. “Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, we decided to dig around for our old lego collections you can have your own giant collection,” Dave said. 

He slid off the couch. “Really?” he said.

“Yeah, absolutely,” James said. “Go get yours, we’ll put them all together.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Okay!” he said, darting off to his room.

“Oh my god, thank goodness you two are here,” Emily said. 

“You know, you said he was sad, and I didn’t believe it till I saw him,” Dave said, wrenching the lid off the first bin. “He looks like a deflated balloon.”

“See? I wasn’t lying,” Emily said. “Poor kid has been moping all week.”

James checked his phone. “Hopefully everybody will get in without any problems,” he said. “Alex texted me a little bit ago and said they delayed her flight by an hour.” 

“Oh, yikes,” Emily said. “She’d better get back here soon. And don’t tell the kid that, he’ll worry more.”

Spencer ran back into the room with his legos. “How should I organize them?” he asked. “Color first or size first?”

“How about we, you know, build something?” Dave suggested as he sat down on the couch. “C’mere, passerotto, I think I have all the pieces to the batcave.”

“Ooh, which version?” James asked as Spencer sat down on the floor in front of Dave.

“I don’t know. I think I built it once when I was Spencer’s age and then never touched it again.”

Emily leaned over James and scooped up a handful of plastic pieces. “What are you going to build?” she asked.

“Hey, don’t copy me!”

They worked on their projects mostly in companionable silence, sometimes absent chatter. Rain continued to tap at the windows. At least Spencer seemed distracted at last, focused on his projects.

Lightning cracked, white light shining through the window for a brief moment, and everyone jumped; Spencer knocked over one of his structures. “Holy shit,” Emily said. “That was terrifying.”

“You okay?” Dave asked, touching Spencer’s arm lightly.

He nodded, leaning against Dave until he lifted him onto his lap. “Do you think everybody’s okay?” he asked. “Planes can’t always fly in this sort of weather.”

“I’m sure everybody’s fine,” Dave reassured him. Spencer bit his lip, still staring out the window. “So what have you been building?”

“Scale model of campus,” he said. “Well, it’s not exactly to scale. But it’s pretty close.”

James held up a lump of legos. “This was supposed to be a plane,” he said. “But it doesn’t look particularly aerodynamic.”

Spencer laughed. “What kind of plane is it supposed to be?” he asked. “It looks like an off-kilter Cessna.”

“I don’t know. Just...a plane,” James said. 

“I’m trying to see how tall I can build this thing without it falling over,” Emily said. “Not much success yet.”

“I’m sure you know, caro,” Dave said, poking Spencer lightly in the side. “How tall is the tallest lego structure ever?”

“The tallest one is in Milan, it’s a hundred and fourteen feet, eleven inches tall,” he said. “The previous tallest was just a hundred and fourteen feet tall, in Budapest.”

“Milan, hm?” Dave said. “Maybe I’ll go see it next time I’m over there.”

“There’s one in Tel Aviv that was built to be four feet taller but-”

Lightning cracked again and Spencer jumped. Dave rubbed his back lightly. “It’s okay, it’s just a bad storm,” he said. It was too late, though- the attempts at distraction had failed, and Spencer was clearly back to worrying, the corners of his mouth tugging down.

Dave looked over at Emily. What should we do? he mouthed. She shrugged helplessly.

Thankfully, right at that moment heavy footsteps echoed on the stairs. Spencer raised his head. Please let it be one of our group, please let it be one of our group, Emily thought fervently.

A tall figure in a rain-soaked coat made it to the top of the stairs, almost terrifying for a split second, but he threw back his hood and shook his head. “Jesus, that was a nightmare,” he said. 

Spencer scrambled to his feet and ran towards him, nearly kicking Dave in his haste. “Hotch!” he shrieked, throwing his arms around his waist.

“Hey, kiddo!” Hotch said, bending to hug him. “Hey, careful, it’s raining really hard out there, I’m drenched and I don’t want you to get wet.” 

“How was your flight?” James asked.

Spencer, undeterred, still clung to Hotch; Hotch ran his fingers through his thick short curls. “Unbelievably shitty,” he said. “Flights were getting canceled left and right, it’s just storming bad everywhere. If I hadn’t gotten such an early flight, I might not’ve made it back.”

“That’s what we’ve been worrying about,” Emily said. “And when I say we I mean Spencer.”

Hotch tugged him back so he could see his face. “Hey, stop worrying,” he said. “Everybody will get back eventually. I promise.” 

“I can’t help worrying,” Spencer said. “What if everybody’s flights get delayed? What if something happens to their planes. What if-”

Hotch scooped him up. “Hey, I think the dining hall’s open for lunch,” he said. “Anybody else hungry? I didn’t have time for breakfast before my flight and all they gave me was one packet of pretzels.”

“They stopped giving away peanuts because of allergies becoming more common,” Spencer said, leaning his cheek against Hotch’s shoulder even though his coat was soaked with rain.

“Yeah?” Hotch said. “How about you go get your coat and your shoes, okay? I’m starving.”

“Okay,” Spencer said reluctantly. Hotch set him back down on his feet and he ran down the hall to his room.

“I am so glad you’re back, Hotchner,” Emily said, sweeping her lego tower back into the bin. “He’s been so sad with everybody gone.”

“I can tell,” he said. “Has he been like this the whole time?”

“Oh, yeah,” Emily said. “I’ve barely been able to get two words out of him.”

“Even when they came over for Thanksgiving he wasn’t talking much,” James added.

Hotch sighed. “I didn’t even think about this,” he said. “Poor kid.”

Emily’s phone buzzed. “Oh, it’s Penelope,” she said. “I’ll put her on speaker. Hey, Pen, how’s it going?”

“Terrible!” Penelope said, her voice crackling over the line. “I made the flight from California to Texas for my layover, but they canceled my connecting flight. It’s storming too bad.”

“Oh, yikes,” Dave said. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she sighed. “They have me booked for a flight first thing in the morning, and the airline is putting me up in a hotel for the night, but it’s so frustrating.”

“I’m sure,” James said. “Stay safe, okay? Do you need anything?”

“Are you kidding? The hotel has like a million channels and room service, I’m doing great!” Penelope said. “I’ll call you guys in the morning before my flight, okay? Talk to you soon!”

Emily sighed as the call ended. “Well, that’s one down,” she said.

“Penelope’s not coming?”

Spencer peeked out of the hall, his rainboots on and his coat dragging from his hand. “Yeah, her connecting flight got canceled,” Dave said. “But she’s safe, and she’ll be on a flight tomorrow, okay? So don’t worry.”

Judging by the way he pressed his mouth together, he definitely was worried. Emily pushed herself up from the floor. “Let’s go get lunch, okay?” she said. “Before Hotch starves.”

The rain had gotten decidedly worse, coming down in heavy sheets and flooding patches of the courtyard. Her umbrella helped a little but not much; Dave complained loudly the entire walk over. Spencer stayed glued to Hotch’s side, clinging tightly to his hand even once they made it to the warm safety of the dining hall. 

Hotch pulled Spencer’s hood down as they got in line. “What do you want?” he asked. 

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

He frowned, then covered Spencer’s ears. “Emily, be honest,” he said. “Did he eat while we were gone?”

“Not for lack of trying,” she said. “I kept putting shit on his plate and he barely touched it.”

“Did he just eat ice cream and candy?”

“He didn’t even want sweets. Or coffee, even.”

Hotch’s frown deepened. “Well, shit,” he said. He dropped his hands to Spencer’s shoulders. “Okay, kid, you have to eat something. If you don’t pick, I’ll pick for you.”

Spencer shrugged. “That’s fine,” he said. 

Hotch met Emily’s gaze, eyebrows raised. “I told you,” she said. 

She followed Hotch down the cafeteria line as he filled up two plates. Spencer stayed so close he ran the risk of getting stepped on, his small hand clinging to the hem of Hotch’s jacket.

Dave and James had beaten them to their usual table, and neither of them looked particularly happy. “Bad news,” James said. “JJ just called. Her parents rescheduled her flight. They were worried about the storms, so she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. “But she’s okay?” he said anxiously.

“She’s fine, caro,” Dave said. “And she’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What about Derek and Alex?” he asked. “Have they called? Or texted.”

“Not yet,” James said. “Maybe they’re already on their flights, though. I”m sure we’ll hear from them soon.”

Hotch set the tray down on the table, then picked Spencer up and set him down in his chair. “They’ll be fine,” he said. “So how did Thanksgiving go for you guys?”

Even with their attempts at changing the subject and trying to draw him into the conversation, Spencer seemed to sink further into himself, his legs tucked up under him and his chin resting in his hand, his plate still mostly untouched. Emily couldn’t blame him for being sad. All week it had been just the two of them in the nearly-deserted dining hall, and even with the boys there it seemed wrong without the rest of the group- Penelope shrieking about something that didn’t need to be shrieked about, Derek regaling them with stories from football practice, JJ’s pretty laugh bubbling over, Alex keeping the peace and stopping cups and plates from getting knocked over and tilted onto the ground.

Hotch didn’t make much headway getting Spencer to eat, but at least he ate a little bit, and their little group braved the storm to get back to Lincoln House. “What have you guys been up to?” he asked as they settled in the common room again, coats and umbrellas hung up to dry.

“Legos,” James said. “This was supposed to be a plane.”

Hotch laughed. “Yikes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re not planning on going into engineering.”

“Yeah, probably for the best,” he said ruefully. “I-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dave interrupted. “Did you guys see the group chat?”

Emily fumbled for her phone. “No, I didn’t, I...oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked.

“Derek’s flight got canceled too,” James said. “He says it got delayed and he sat on the tarmac for three hours, but they pulled everybody off the plane. His mom’s already picked him up, so he’s fine.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. He curled himself up smaller, his knees tucked up to his chest, chewing on his thumbnail. “But he’ll be here tomorrow?” he said. 

“Yeah, he’ll be here tomorrow,” Dave reassured him.

Spencer lifted his head. “Can we call Alex?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah, of course,” Emily said, immediately pulling Alex’s contact info on the screen. “Here, kiddo. Just press-”

Lightning cracked, and with a sharp pop the common room went dark.

“Holy shit!” Emily shrieked, the phone falling from her hand.

“Did a fuse blow?” Dave said.

James got up and looked out the window. “Well, judging by the other buildings on campus...I think the power’s out everywhere,” he said.

“Well, fuck,” Hotch said.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Watch your language!” she said in mock horror.

“Oh, shut up,” Hotch said good-naturedly. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait for the power to come back on. Spencer, do you want to go ahead and call Alex? She’ll probably be glad to miss the power outage.”

“I think the tower’s down too,” Spencer said in a small voice. “There’s no signal.” He held the phone back out to Emily. “Thanks anyway.”

She reached for the phone, and as the lock screen flickered she caught the faint mark of tears on his cheek. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, fuck. Spencer, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he said, but there was a distinct wobble in his voice.

“Spencer, it’s going to be okay,” Hotch said. “The power’s going to come back on, and everyone will be home soon.”

It was too dark to see, but she could hear Spencer sniffling in a valiant effort to keep form crying. “I know,” he said. “But I-”

Hotch picked Spencer up and placed him in Emily’s lap. “Stay here with Em for a second,” he said. “James, Dave, come with me.”

Spencer dropped his head against Emily’s collarbone as she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It’s been a rough week, dude. You didn’t get to go home and see your family, and you miss everybody. And you’re worried because of the storms. It makes sense.” She kissed the top of his head. “And now we’ve got all this power outage shit. But it’ll be okay.”

Hotch dumped an armload of stuff onto the nearest armchair. “Thank goodness for Penelope’s illegal candle stash,” he said. 

Emily twined one of Spencer’s short curls around her finger. “What’s with all of the pillows and blankets?” she asked.

In the dim light she could see Hotch grin. “We’re going to make a blanket fort,” he said. “C’mere, Spencer, I could use your brain for this.”

Emily set Spencer on his feet as James and Dave brought in their collections of pillows and blankets. She busied herself lighting candles and placing them in safe places around the room as Spencer directed the older boys in their construction. He seemed to perk up a little bit with something to focus on, especially as they let him be in charge.

“Okay, I’ve made some blanket forts in my day, but this one is pretty cool,” James said. 

“That’s because Penelope has about eight million blankets and they’re all soft as baby puppies,” Emily said as she crawled into the fort. “I claim the blue pillow!”

All five of them fit comfortably inside, the interior lit with a string of battery operated fairy lights, also taken from Penelope’s room. Spencer nestled himself between Hotch and Emily. “Are we going to tell Penelope that we borrowed all of her stuff?” he asked. 

Hotch handed him his favorite blanket. “I think if we leave the fort up till she gets back, she won’t mind as long as she gets to hang out in here,” he said. 

“What should we do?” Dave asked. “Power’s still out, and there’s no wifi either.”

“Oh!” Emily said. “Okay, I’ve been trying to get you to listen to this album for weeks. Now is the perfect time! You’re a captive audience.”

They took turns passing each other’s phones back and forth, listening to different songs in the comfort of the handmade blanket fort, playfully arguing over each other’s tastes in music as the warm glow of the fairy lights cast soft shadows. Spencer seemed a little less tense now, snuggled safely between Hotch and Emily with his blanket hugged to his chest.

She hadn’t kept track of time, but it was at least two hours before the power switched back on, the overhead lights suddenly way too bright after the dimmness of the tent. “There we go,” Dave said, sitting up and checking his phone. “And we’ve got signal again!” He stretched his arm over James and Emily to hold out the phone to Spencer. “Here, passerotto, see if you can call Alex.”

He took it eagerly and tapped at the screen to bring up her info, but his excitement faded almost instantly. “It went right to voicemail,” he said. “Thanks anyway.”

James scrambled ungracefully to his feet. “Hey, since the power’s back, who wants to watch a movie?” he said. 

“Not a Star War, please,” Emily called. “I can’t tell any of them apart.”

Hotch propped himself up on his elbow. “Hey, Spence,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m sure Alex is fine.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. He turned to Hotch, one corner of his mouth tugging up in a rueful little half smile. “I bet her flight got canceled too. It’s okay.”

James flipped the overhead lights off, leaving them back in the glow of the candles and the string lights, and crawled back into the fort with the remote in his hand. “All right, if anyone has objections, y’all can get up yourself and change it,” he said.

Emily settled back as the movie started. Spencer was quiet beside her, but after a while he rolled over onto his stomach, his forehead pressed against Hotch’s arm and his blanket tangled around his legs, and she smiled when she heard his first little snore.

“Hotchner,” she whispered. “This blanket fort idea was genius.”

Hotch grinned. “Sean made me make one for him while I was home,” he said. “I figured Spencer might like it too.” He paused. “Is he asleep?” Emily nodded. “Thank god.”

James sat up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Guys, I still haven’t heard from Alex,” he said. “It’s still going right to voicemail when I call her and she hasn’t answered any texts.”

“Maybe her signal’s out too,” Dave said. “Don’t worry about it. Alex can take care of herself.”

James pouted. “Yeah, but...I might be a little worried about her,” he said. “It’s not like her to not answer.”

“Awww, you miss your girlfriend,” Emily teased. 

“I do! I do miss her!” James said. 

“Guys, if any of you wake up Spencer, I will murder you,” Hotch hissed. 

“I’m sorry!” James whispered back. “I just- I think I need to be worried about Alex.”

Suddenly a familiar person knelt down and leaned into the tent. “You’re worried about me?” Alex said, her long red hair hanging loose around her shoulders. “That’s so sweet!”

James scrambled up, smacking Dave in the face in his haste. “Oh my god, I missed you!” he said. He tugged her closer, cupping her face in his hands, and kissed her deeply. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she laughed, running her fingers through his hair. “My phone died and I didn’t pack any of my portable chargers in my carryon. Where’s everybody else?”

“Everybody’s flights are delayed,” Emily said. “Spencer’s been beside himself.”

“Oh, poor thing,” she said. “Is he sleeping? I don’t want to wake him up.”

“Yeah, he just dozed off,” Hotch said. “He’s going to be so relieved to see you.”

Emily scooted over to make room. “C’mere, the movie hasn’t been on for very long,” she said. 

“Hey!” James protested. “She’s my girlfriend, shouldn’t she be next to me?”

“Well, she’s my roommate, and I’ve had her for longer,” Emily said. Alex laughed as she settled between her and Spencer, busying herself with snuggling him against her side and tucking him in. Emily leaned over to whisper in James’s ear. “Besides, we all know you two are gonna go fool around the second you get a chance. You’ll get your quality time, don’t worry.”

Even in the dim light she could see him turn red. “What are you guys whispering about?” Alex asked. 

“Nothing!” James squeaked. Emily made a rude hand gesture and he smacked her arm. “Emily! Stop it!”

She snickered as she leaned her head against Alex’s shoulder. “How was your week being in charge?” Alex asked as she adjusted Spencer’s blanket around him.

“Could have been worse...could have been a lot better,” Emily said. “He was so sad. I’m not good with sad kids.”

“I’m sure you did great,” Alex reassured her.

The movie was almost over when Spencer began to shift and whimper in his sleep. “Is he okay?” Emily asked.

“He’s-” Hotch winced as Spencer kicked him in the shins. “Ow. Bad dream, I think.”

Alex sat up. “Okay, I’m going to wake him up,” she said. 

“Careful, he can be pretty feisty,” Hotch warned.

Alex stroked his hair back from his forehead as he tried to pull away from her. “Spencer, wake up,” she called gently, her hand resting on his chest. “Come on, darling.”

She kept coaxing him until his eyes finally opened. “What’s going on?” he mumbled.

“You had a bad dream,” she said. 

He blinked. “Alex?” he said sleepily. “Did your plane land safely?”

Hotch laughed. “Yeah, kiddo, her plane landed safely,” he said. “Get the sleep out of your eyes.”

Spencer rubbed his face and blinked again. “Alex!” he yelped, throwing himself into her arms. 

“Hi, baby,” she said. “Did you miss me?”

“A little bit,” he said, tilting his face so she could kiss his cheek. “Was your flight okay? Was there a lot of turbulence?”

“Everything was fine,” she reassured him as she cuddled him against her side. “Now, sh, I think Dave is getting invested in the movie.”

“No, I’m not,” he said absently.

“Yes, he is,” Emily teased.

Spencer settled down with his head on Alex’s knees; Hotch tugged his blanket around him. “Everybody else will be here tomorrow,” he said. “Penelope’s connecting flight got canceled, and Derek’s got canceled, and JJ’s parents rescheduled her.”

“That’s good,” she said, stroking her fingers through his hair. “Go back to sleep, darling. You look so tired. And everything’s going to be okay, nothing to worry about.”

The rain had settled back into a light tapping on the window; the thunder and lightning had long since stopped. Emily leaned back against her pillows, smiling in contented relief. Alex was right. Everything was going to be okay.

[crqstalite]

coasting. [f!shenko + post-war]

had a thought late afternoon yesterday, decided it needed to be written, even though i put off writing i have questions for a day lol. for @that-wasnt-so-bad ;)

kaidan takes shepard ice skating.

-

Shepard was usually good at a lot of things. Surviving the impossible, fighting off grotesque monsters three times her size, patching together alliances that really shouldn't have been possible, win a war that had been lost plenty of times before. Hell, she'd done all of that within a few months only a year ago, and was still alive to tell the tale. Picking up talents came easy to her.

Usually.

She probably should've known something was up when Kaidan asked her to dress warm at the tail end of the year without telling her where they were going. Wary, she'd trusted him and donned a sweater and jeans (which he'd immediately shot down and sheepishly asked her to wear leggings with little explanation of why), curious of his intentions. Since getting out of the hospital a few months ago, she hadn't been out much. Seeing what there was to her new home on Earth piqued her interest.

Still, she hadn't expected to be clutching both a railing and his hand for dear life with literal knives strapped to her feet three hours later. She'd never been so glad to have quick reflexes, or she would've gotten a face full of ice a few times. Her nose was burning, her lips were chapped and teeth would be just nearly chattering if she weren't so worried about falling flat on her face.

What was worse was the fact he also had a very nervous grin on his face out the corner of her eye, and she was getting rather suspicious that he'd lied when he said he'd been skating before. Her first tip probably should've been when he nearly tripped after putting the skates on trying to help her balance herself off the bench. If also not the second time when he'd been trying to coax her onto the ice. And, the third time when he actually had fallen when she'd used him to keep from falling herself.

Okay, that might've been her fault. She had apologized, trying to help him up while he'd laughed it off. And then she'd fallen. So they were just a pair of people, slowly making their way across the ice. She'd never been so glad not to be in anything with the Alliance or N7 insignia. They were just a man and a woman, making fools of themselves together.

"Knives belong in my hands, not on my feet, Kaidan." She repeats herself for the third time and grimaces, a perpetual frown on her face since he'd strapped the damn things on her feet. Center of balance, Shepard had apparently never met her.

"You're still upright, you're doing fine, Shepard." He reassures her. If not for the soft smile that he gives her, or the way he looks at her to begin with, she'd be off this rink in ten seconds flat, forget the fact she barely knows how to. Yet, this was something he'd brought her out to do, supposedly because he enjoyed it, and she be damned if she gave up or refused him.

Well, at least until she managed to hurt herself again. There was already a bruise blooming on her bad knee after she'd fell. She was sure he'd fuss over it when they got home, as much as she doesn't want him to.

And, she hadn't even really understood the concept of ice skating before he'd told her about it. Growing up a spacer kid did nothing for her comprehension of Earth children's entertainment. Which is why she's entertaining the idea, but is having about zero of the fun that supposedly went along with it.

She shifts another two feet forward, trying to keep his words in mind, and nearly slips again before he pulls her back upright, "You're leaning too far forward."

"I thought you said to lean forward." She asks.

"Not that far forward."

Sighing, she glances over his shoulder. Kaidan follows her gaze, where she'd been watching a younger girl spin gracefully over the ice in the middle of the rink. To imagine she could shoot a Marauder's head off at a hundred yards and couldn't even glide any distance was disheartening, if not also embarrassing. Thirty three years old, a war veteran, and even the Reapers didn't have anything on the slippery surface beneath her feet. She raises her eyes to him again, "You've been skating before. Let's run with this visual learner thing, I step off the ice and watch you for a bit."

Concern flits through his eyes, "Shepard..."

"It's fine, I'm not going anywhere. Maybe I just need to watch instead of doing." And possibly sit to massage her knee for a bit.

"Shepard, you don't get it."

"No, I don't. So teach me then."

"No, Shepard," Red dusts his face, looking away from her for a moment before sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, "It's been years since I've skated."

A lightbulb goes off in her head, looking down at their hands and then back up at him, "You dragged me out here in the dead of Canadian winter, knowing full well I'd never skated before, and also knowing you hadn't either?"

"I have!" He responds, "Just not since I was a lot younger. And I might've thought my muscle memory would've kicked in by now."

"You need me for balance as much as I need you, huh?"

"No," He pauses, flexing his fingers in between her's, "Maybe I just like holding your hand." Kaidan responds, as unconvincingly as she expected.

But she had to admit he looked a whole lot more comfortable here than she did. And if she was putting her well-being back into anyone's hands, it might as well be his.

She shakes her head, "So we're really both out here with about zero idea what we're doing? Not that we haven't done that before, pretty damn successfully if the Reaper free galaxy is anything to go by, but we could've had a lot more fun at home that didn't include a perilous sport I have no business participating in."

"You, might have zero idea. You sound like you're expecting me to do what she's doing. I've held a gun longer than I've been on skates," He thinks to himself for a moment before looking at her directly, "You trust me, don't you?"

"I trusted you this morning, when you hadn't put your poor girlfriend in danger of breaking her nose," She pouts, "Y'know, the doctors are going to just love you when I come back with a broken bone, the only explanation being that you'd knowingly sent me to my icy demise."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," He's still grinning when his grip on her hand loosens. Then it's gone and she nearly flounders, reaching out for the railing with both hands and grinding to a halt. Glaring at him when she feels safe enough to, he chuckles before skating just in front of her, stuttering for a moment when he slips backwards before holding his hands out to her again, "And I'm pretty sure those doctors love to have you there anyway. Might make patient of the month if you're lucky."

Tentatively, she releases one hand from it's death grip on the railing to reach over and let him take it, then the other as she slides forward into his grasp, "Can see the headlines now," She stutters, gripping his hands like a lifeline, " 'Great Commander Shepard hospitalized after easily avoidable skating disaster, Major Alenko suspected of the crime.'"

"Ow, first," He gestures to his hands as she loosens her hold only enough to know she's not breaking his fingers. If he really thinks she's about to let go, he's more delusional than the Illusive Man himself, "It's supposed to be fun. Second," He rubs his thumb over the back of her hands, eyes boring into her in a way that sets something in her aflame, "I've got you."

It isn't as promising as marching her way across the ice back to where they'd left their things, nor offering the stability that she'd once had with the metal barrier, but he talks her through it long enough that she's standing upright fifteen minutes later and honest to God actually pushing off enough times to earn her a smile from him. It's comforting to have him so close, ready to pull her back up at a moment's notice (usually because she has a tendency to lean backwards). Staring into his whiskey colored eyes once he asks her to stop looking at her feet and focus on moving towards him, not grinding the skates into the ice, definitely puts her a little more at ease.

Not that she hasn't lost her balance another three or four times, but she hadn't fallen again when the sun was beginning to set outside the windows another half an hour later. He teases her, as she'd expected and retorts accordingly. Almost feels like their days on the SR-2, except without Harbinger looming over their budding relationship. She watches as his confidence comes back to skate backwards without an eye over his shoulder, giving her pointers like he had with her biotics. Her nerves are lot less shot when he asks her to let his hands go after spending a majority of the day laughing, as nervous as she is, when she manages to half glide, half walk over to him. It's not perfect when he steps away from where he'd been in front of her, as she nearly runs into a wall before grasping it at the last second, but it's world's better than what they'd started with.

It's late, that much she knows, but they make it around the rink a few more times, switching back to their original position with his hand in her's. Slow, frustrating at times as she keeps forgetting how to turn without picking up a foot and dragging it into the ice, but it's nearly romantic if she forgets she'd taken up his entire day doing something she watches a five year old excel at. There are more people there than when they'd started, and she's terrified to say she's actually exhausted. Good and tired, almost funny if she didn't remember the fact she fought off husks as heavy as her only a year ago. She still has a stupid smile on her face when they step off the rink, and she nearly falls flat on her face from the different motion, had it not been for a strong arm around her waist.

She's more careful on her way back to their bench, running a hand through her hair as Kaidan pulls their things out their locker. She places her jacket over to her side when she falls back on the seat, sweat still beading on her forehead.

"Then I'm guessing you enjoyed today?" He asks, bending down to undo her laces. She nearly tells him off, to just let her do it herself, but she was more likely to get tangled in them before getting a foot out. And, he was a nice sight, "Knife shoes aren't so bad, huh?"

"If you consider toddling across the ice like a child fun, sure. Oh wait, apparently there are children who can skate circles around me," He raises an eyebrow before she relents with her mild hate of the sport, "Look, skating, not so much. I belong in space, with insurmountable odds against us and mag boots. But, I enjoyed spending the day with you."

"Thanks Shepard, that's sweet of you." He avoids her knee almost like he knows, before gently pulling off one of her skates.

"You skated a lot before you enlisted?" She asks, while he starts on the other foot.

"To be honest, my sisters were better at it than I was. One wanted to be a professional figure skater, I just got dragged along to her practices when I was younger, and they let me on the ice between sessions," He shrugs, "Wasn't a pastime, but I got good enough at it that I wasn't breaking everything when I got out there."

"So you brought me out here why? Especially if there even the chance I'd end up with my mortal enemy again?" She narrows her eyes when he looks back up at her with a half amused, half exasperated expression.

"Hospital beds aren't that bad."

"When they only fit one disgruntled war survivor, they are. Bonus points if they strap you in for months at a time with nothing but old vids to watch because you only get one channel. And Monica is more interested in the, and I quote, 'sweet Major that keeps coming by' than she is in anything I have to say."

"Right," He snickers, manages the other one off, and she places her feet back on the ground, cringing as she realizes her socks are wet, "Couldn't bring you to a shooting range, and I'm pretty sure you'd be pissed if I brought you to a pottery shop."

"Aw, you know me so well, as much as I'm pretty sure that's code for 'Shepard's a bull in china shop'," She stops him just before he stands, placing a hand just against his jaw and kisses him, "Thanks for today though. As many times as the rink tried to take me out, I like being with you. Without bullets flying over our heads."

"Love you too," He kisses her again, then standing, "And you just took out my idea for next Friday. Here I thought you'd like the idea of paintball."

She gives him the most quizzical look, trying to figure how the words fit together and why. She really needed to start reading up on this stuff if domesticity and odd Earth activities were the new name of the game, "...paintball?"

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

Missing Pieces

for @buckybarnesbingo !!!

by: Lira (me)

square filled: U1 - galaxy

main pairing: bucky/clint

rating: T

major tags: emotional hurt comfort, childhood memories, angst with a happy ending, established relationship

summary: When Clint becomes down and distracted, Bucky takes it upon himself to discover what's bothering his boyfriend. Even though Clint won't talk about it. Even though Bucky has too many missing pieces. Or, In which Bucky goes to great lengths to make Clint smile.

word count: 2942

*

“He’s on the roof again, isn’t he.”

Natasha nods, eyes flicking almost imperceptibly to the ceiling. Bucky shoves his hands into his pockets, his face drawn down in a scowl.

“He still not talking about it?” she asks.

He glares, she quirks an eyebrow. He almost laughs; they rarely have to resort to words to communicate.

Bucky walks back through the doors, heading up to the roof.

“He’s sad,” Natasha says with a sigh. “He just doesn’t know how to show it.” Then, softer, “Please find a way to help him. This doesn’t seem to be a take him to the gym until he punches it out or tease him until he screams at me kind of situation. I’m pretty sure it’s boyfriend territory.”

“I–” He stops, unsure how to go on. He knows it pains her to admit she can’t solve a problem on her own. “Thanks, Natalia.” He doesn't look back, but he can feel her downcast, almost-smile.

* 

He finds Clint on one of his rooftop perches, the one that sticks out over the edge of nothingness and makes Bucky’s stomach do a little flip-flop to see Clint so easily sprawled there. His lithe, muscular body looks relaxed, like he could roll off any second, but Bucky knows he’s in perfect control. Bucky takes a moment to just look at him: straw colored hair turned silver in glow of the rooftop lights, head leaned back so he can stare at the cloud-streaked sky, a band-aid on the back of his hand. His hand… The rest of him looks relaxed, but the hand Bucky can see is balled into a fist.

Clint holds his tension in his hands.

Bucky makes sure his steps are loud enough that Clint isn’t startled when he says, “Hey doll.”

Waiting until Bucky’s standing almost behind him, Clint swings his body around so he’s straddling the perch, his feet hanging down in the air, arms folded on the top of the metal post that had been his backrest, chin resting lightly on his crossed wrists.

“Heya sweetheart.” The easy smile is missing, but there’s a softening around the eyes.

Bucky eases up close, kissing Clint’s forehead and taking a moment to breathe in the scent of his hair. “Nice night,” he murmurs. “Spy anything interestin’?”

Bucky feels the tension radiating from Clint. “Nothing to see.” His voice has a bitter edge. Waving a hand at the sky, he adds, “There’s nothing but clouds. Not even those, really.”

The sky above them is a hazy muddle of black and grey, with some of the grey being a little brighter and streakier and cloudier. Clint’s right, an airplane could fly directly overhead and they wouldn’t see it.

“Guess not,” he says. “Still, it is a nice night. Almost warm, for September. You mind if I sit up here with you for a while?”

Clint shrugs, then turns back to face the city and the sky again. “Be my guest. It’s Stark’s rooftop anyway.”

It feels like a wall dropped down between them, but if Clint says he can stay, Bucky’s staying.

They don’t talk at all, just sit in silence. It’s awkward at first–not because they’re uncomfortable with each other anymore, but because they both know Clint’s hiding something. Clint’s giving off angry-embarrassed-melancholy vibes that practically chime in the air around him, and Bucky’s projecting “caring boyfriend” as hard as he can. But after twenty minutes or so they both figure out how to calm down and just…be. When Bucky steals glances he notices that while Clint’s hand is still clenching and unchencing, worrying at something, his jaw is relaxed again.

He notices other things too. Clint’s breathing is easy, but every once in a while there’s a slight hitch, as if his breath catches on a stray thought. Whenever there’s a particularly strong gust of wind, he squints at the sky, as if it might reveal something previously unknown. And although his bow and quiver are in easy reach, they’re propped up on the roof behind him, not actually on his person. So whatever’s eating at him, it’s not an outside threat.

Not the kind you can shoot with an arrow, anyway.

“I think I’m gonna head down to bed,” Bucky says, feeling his knees pop as he gets to his feet. He may be a supersoldier, but his body still reacts to being in a semi-uncomfortable position on a hard rooftop for several hours. Not that he hasn’t done it before, in far less pleasurable situations than this. He gives his head a tiny shake, a physical reminder that he’s not the Winter Soldier anymore. He looks at Clint. “You comin’ anytime soon?”

Clint swallows, looks down at his hands, then turns his face away. “I, ah, was thinking I’d maybe sleep up here tonight. The last few nights our bedroom, our floor, the whole Tower, really...it’s all been feeling a bit…” He sighs, then finally turns to look at Bucky. “It all just feels too small.”

Small?

Keeping his voice as even as possible, Bucky says, “Clint, at least fifty percent of the time you spend in the Tower is spent crawling through the vents.”

Clint looks back at the sky. “And yet.”

Bucky presses his lips together, holding back the urge to shout, “What is wrong?” at the top of his voice. After a beat he says, “I’ll go get you some blankets, then. Or,” he adds, inspiration striking, “I could send Natalia?”

“Got everything I need.” Clint gestures vaguely over his shoulder, and Bucky sees a muddle of darker darkness he’d missed before among the other shadows on the roof. There’s a cot and a sleeping bag and a pillow, even a thermos Bucky’s sure is full of coffee.

“Say, were you a Boy Scout?” Bucky teases.

“Just because I wasn’t a Scout doesn’t mean I can’t be prepared.” There’s an almost hurt tone to Clint’s voice, hurt and maybe a little reproachful.

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, so he just lets the silence stretch for a few more minutes. Then he puts his hands on Clint’s shoulders and kisses the top of his head. “Night, doll,” he murmurs into Clint’s hair.

Our bed won’t be the same without you, he wants to say.

Pretty sure I won’t sleep tonight, thinkin’ about you up here in the cold, he thinks.

Do you know I hold onto a pillow when you’re not around to hold at night? he doesn’t ask.

Instead of saying anything at all, he takes one more breath, waits one more moment, then turns and walks away.

 *

Bucky doesn’t get much sleep. He thoroughly examines their darkened ceiling, the shadows on the walls, the thoughts bombarding the inside of his skull. He’s trying to put together a puzzle with too many missing pieces. There’s a sick feeling in his stomach at the image; it’s too much like a look back at his own past. There are too many things he still doesn’t remember, even after all this time.

He dozes off a little after three am, sleeps for about an hour. He’s not restored when he wakes, just cranky and tired because the bed is–of course–empty, and all he can think is that Clint must be cold without his own personal supersoldier to warm him up. After a few minutes of attempting to kick the blankets and pillows into submission he gives up and stomps to the bathroom to shower; Tony won’t be happy if he breaks another of their beds, even if he breaks this one on his own.

 *

Although he wants to take breakfast to Clint on the roof, sense wins and Bucky waits in the kitchen. He knows Clint will be down fairly early; that thermos might last a person with an average coffee habit a whole cold night, but Clint’s coffee addiction is far from average.

Bleary-eyed from less than stellar sleep and rosy cheeked from wind, Clint stumbles into the common floor at 5:27. Bucky’s waiting with a mug of coffee, hand outstretched.

As expected, Clint doesn’t speak. His grabby hands speak for him.

“Mornin’ doll,” Bucky says with a grin. As Clint slumps onto the stool Bucky flips pancakes and bacon onto a plate and slides it in front of Clint, along with the butter and maple syrup. “Thought you might be needin’ a little pick-me-up.”

“You gonna pick me up?” Clint says with a sly, sleepy wink. He punctuates the wink with a jaw-cracking yawn.

Bucky laughs, shaking his head. “Even exhausted and half frozen you can’t help a good innuendo, can you.”

“Never,” Clint says, digging into his breakfast; with less alacrity than normal, maybe, but at least he’s eating. After a few bites he looks up at Bucky, leaning against the counter a few feet away, and smiles. A real smile. “Thanks. This hits the spot.”

“You’re just sayin’ that cause I made coffee,” Bucky drawls.

“I’m able to speak because you made coffee. I’m saying thank you because you made bacon.”

It’s a nearly normal day in the Tower: the usual breakfast and light-hearted bickering, target practice on the range, working out in the gym, playing ridiculously competitive games of MarioKart in the afternoon. Clint is there but not there; he participates, and even though his shooting is flawless as usual he’s clearly distracted, at least to Bucky’s trained eye. Clint’s not fully engaged in anything, and so much of Bucky’s attention is focused on Clint that when they’re sparring Sam lands a punch Bucky could have easily blocked. Everyone in the room collectively gasps a breath.

Almost everyone. Clint doesn’t even notice.

Later in the day, from the corner of his eye, Bucky spies Clint peeking down from one of the vents.

His mind keeps coming back to the puzzle with too many missing pieces. There’s no way to see what the picture is with a bit of the border and a few scattered center pieces. The vents are okay, but the Tower at night is too small? And how does any of that connect to Clint’s air of melancholy, his distraction? It’s bewildering.

Clint sleeps on the roof again that night.

 *

Bucky’s a little jittery with nerves when, two nights later, he joins Clint on the rooftop again. When he stands behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders, he feels Clint relax, minutely, at his touch. Just that tiny thing calms him, and when he speaks his words are even, without a hint of a tremble.

“Will you try something for me, doll?”

Clint swings around to face him in that easy, graceful way he has. Bucky’s seen it a hundred times, a thousand, but he’s still in awe. He moves like the world had been built as his playground, like gravity is something to be toyed with instead of taken seriously.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” Clint’s smile is slight but true, so Bucky barrels onward.

“Come downstairs. You don’t have to stay,” he adds quickly, seeing the smile on Clint’s face ebb away. “I promise. I just want to show you something.”

Bucky can see Clint pulling bits of himself inward, building that protective shell that’s been coming up more and more the past week or so, but still he climbs onto the roof, snagging his bow with one hand and reaching his other out to find Bucky’s in the glow of the rooftop lights.

“Alright,” he says, trusting.

Squeezing Clint’s fingers, Bucky says, “Yeah. Alright.”

 *

The lack of typical Clint chatter is glaring, somehow shouting in the empty, echoing stairwell. But neither of them hesitates. Bucky, for one, is too focused on getting Clint to their bedroom, keeping him tethered to the earth when his ever-increasing nerves threaten to carry him away. Clint is probably miles away, in another state if Bucky’s guess is correct. He’ll find out soon if he’s found the missing puzzle pieces.

In the doorway of their bedroom Clint says, “Huh. It’s clean.”

Bucky fights to resist and fails. “That’s what happens when you’re not here to throw everything everywhere,” he says, his voice dry. “Half of this couple knows how to put things away. Maybe you’ve figured out which half that is.”

Clint chuckles. “Aw, Buck, you wouldn’t want me any other way.”

Leading him to the bed, Bucky asks, “But isn’t it nice to be able to walk across the floor without tripping? Maybe we could use as many as ten fewer bandaids per year if you just put your dirty clothes in the hamper.”

Clint sits willingly enough, but when Bucky tries to pull him down so they’re laying side by side on their backs, Clint resists. He’s laughing, but there’s an edge to his words when he asks, “Was all this just about getting me to bed?”

“Doll, we’ve had sex on that roof more times than I can count.”

He feels Clint relax beside him. “Remember when Tony caught us under the quinjet? Ah, good times.”

Sitting up, Bucky rests a hand on Clint’s thigh, rubbing soothing circles. “Jesting aside. If you’re uncomfortable you can go, but…” He’s looking for the right words to say when he feels Clint’s hand on his. “It’s alright,” Clint says. “I trust you.”

It’s moments like these Bucky fought for–still fights for. Tiny bits of closeness, of another human being reassuring him he’s still human himself, still true, still worthy of love. He kisses Clint’s forehead–he rather desperately wants to do more but this particular bedroom visit is not about sex and he doesn’t want to give either of them the wrong idea–and sprawls beside him, tangling their fingers together. “Ready, JARVIS?”

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Wha–” Clint starts, but his question is answered almost before he can ask it when the room plunges into darkness.

“Oh.”

Just one word and Bucky knows it’s going to be alright. Awe and wonder and no more walls between them.

“Stevie helped, but it was my idea. I just asked him ’cause he’s used to holding a paintbrush.”

Laughing, Clint squeezes Bucky’s hand and scoots closer on the bed. “How’d you do it?” His voice, soft, is lighter than it’s been in days.

“Glow in the dark paint.”

Clint elbows Bucky in the side. “I can see that. I mean…” He waves at the stars on the ceiling, the patterns and constellations mimicking the sky they can’t quite see through the light pollution of the city.

“JARVIS projected the, ah, map, I guess you’d call it, onto the ceiling, and Tony rigged up some hover platforms for us to lay on while we painted. Just call me Michaelangelo,” Bucky deadpans.

Clint turns his head and presses a kiss into Bucky’s shoulder. “Thanks, Buck. I–” His breath hitches; he takes a minute, then starts over. “When I was a kid I used to climb out my window onto the roof, when things got to be...too much. The sky was so big, I could look at the stars and just...get lost. Forget about everything else in the vastness of the universe.” He chuckles, though it sounds a bit forced in Bucky’s ears. “Not that I was thinking like that back in those days. Mostly I was just thinking that I was alone on the roof, but I’d be really alone if I could get to the stars.” After a shaky breath he adds, “Alone and safe.”

They look at the stars together for one breath, two breaths. Then Bucky says, “I’m sorry it had to be that way for you.”

“I’m not.” Before Bucky can object, Clint says, “Don’t get me wrong, there are times–many times, if I’m honest–I wish my childhood could have been brighter. Warmer. Safer. But all that crap is what made me who I am. Would I have ever picked up a bow if Barney and I hadn’t run away and joined the circus? Would I be an Avenger? Or would I be married with a dog and two kids and a white picket fence?”

Still staring up into the galaxy spread out above them, Bucky says, slow and soft, “Without my own hellish past I’d be an old man now. Or…” He doesn’t finish the thought, but they’re both thinking the word. Dead. A word they both think often enough, in their line of work, but try not to think about each other. Or say. Almost as one they move closer together, heads clunking almost audibly.

“Ow!” The sound Clint makes is half laugh, half bark of pain.

And then Bucky’s laughing; loud, full laughter that eats away all the tension that’s been building for days. Soon they’re clinging to each other, laughing so hard tears stream from their eyes. Laughing until they can’t even remember why, until they’re only laughing because it feels so good.

“So,” Bucky says when their laughter fades to the occasional gasp or giggle. “Is it okay to say I’m glad you walked down the path that led to me?”

With barely contained laughter in his voice, Clint says, “Only if I can say I’m glad you made it all the way to my present to be struck by Cupid’s arrow.”

 *

Clint does not sleep on the roof that night...but he and Bucky do sleep under the stars.

***

We are made of stardust– every atom in you, in me, once came from Sirius, or Alpha Centauri; they hung from the buckle of Orion’s belt or fell from Cassiopeia’s fingertips.

So together we make up a galaxy an ocean of stars with islands of planets

and where our lips meet, a supernova.

[rainofaugustsith]

Interview with Viri

Thank you for the tag @swtorpadawan​! I did part of this one before but it looks like previously there were some questions removed! Good to see the whole thing. :) 

NO spoilers for 6.0, set after Nathema. 

   (all answers by Viri, with help from her seconds, who are present at all her public appearances)    ► Name ➔      Viri: You don’t know my name?    Vette: Viri, you know how these interviews always start, play along.    Viri: All right. Viridana Revarre Dragoi. Viri to my friends.    Vette: Darth Bratface to your friends.    Lana: Impossible One.    Jaesa: I’ll go with Darth Bratface.    Viri: It’s not like you’re wrong.    ► Are you single ➔  Viri smiles and looks at the Mark of Union on her palm.    Viri: No. Very happily married.    ► Are you happy ➔ Viri: Not very much. With Lana and my friends, yes. Walking through the wilderness on Odessen, yes. With the state of the galaxy? No.    ► Are you angry ➔  Viri: Very.    ► Are your parents still married ➔    Viri: They are dead, but they were married until they died.    Lana: Didn’t you say they were still together in the afterworld?    Viri: Yes, that’s true. So I suppose that is ‘still married.’     EIGHT FACTS     ► Birth Place ➔Viri: Corellia.    ► Hair Color ➔ Viri: Blonde.    ► Eye Color ➔ Viri looks down. Bl…gold.    Lana: They’re beautiful.    Jaesa: Gold eyes rock.    Vette: I don’t think she’s used to them yet.    Lana: I know. I was the same way. They take some time.    Jaesa: Really? I was thrilled when my eyes turned.    Vette: We all remember the ship party you threw. I think I’m still hung over from it, all these years later.    Viri: Just…let it go, all right?    Lana gets up and kisses the top of her head, and an understanding seems to pass between them.    ► Birthday ➔ Viri: I don’t celebrate birthdays anymore. I just know i’m a year older on the anniversary of my release from carbonite. NB: Viri would be an Aries in Western Zodiac.    ► Mood ➔ Viri: Slightly amused by these questions.   ► Gender ➔Viri:  Female.    ► Summer or winter ➔ Viri: Summer. I don’t like winter much.    ► Morning or afternoon ➔ Viri: Afternoon.      EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE   ► Are you in love ➔ Viri nods and blows a kiss to Lana.  ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ Viri: I don’t know. Yes? No? I knew the minute I met Lana that we had a strong rapport, a bond, something…    Lana: I felt like I would never be without you.    Viri: That’s it.    Vette: I think that qualifies as ‘love at first sight,’ dorks.    ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ Viri: Lana’s my first and only. You’d better not say anything about ending it!   ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ Viri: No.    ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔  Viri: No, but I didn’t even want a relationship until I met Lana.    ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Viri: Oh yes.    ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ Everyone in the room groans    Vette: You would not believe the love letters she got when she was the Wrath.    Jaesa: It’s worse now.    Viri: You get them too.    Lana: Hazard of being a galactic hero: everyone knows you.    ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔  Viri: Yes.    SIX CHOICES    ► Love or lust ➔ Love.    ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ lemonade.    ► Cats or Dogs ➔ Cats.    ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ Viri looks around the room. A few best friends.    ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Both have their merits.    ► Day or night ➔  Night.    FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS    ► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Viri: I’ve never really been in that position. I usually don’t sneak. I just leave and if someone wants to try to stop me….well, they don’t.    ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Viri coughs conspicuously    Vette: Oh stars.    Jaesa: Where to begin.    ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔  Viri: Yes.    ► Wanted to disappear ➔ Viri: Also yes.    FOUR PREFERENCES    ► Smile or eyes ➔  Viri: Eyes. A lot of people will smile but it doesn’t reach their eyes and you know it’s not real.    ► Shorter or Taller ➔  Viri pulls herself up to her full height of 6'2" and nods proudly.   ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ Viri: I don’t know. I grew up around scientists. I hate it when people are judgmental of others because they believe they’re not as clever. I’m not generally attracted to anyone, though.    ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ Relationship.    FAMILY      ► Do you and your family get along ➔ Yes. We have disagreements, sure, but we get along very well. When my parents were still alive I actually liked spending time with them. I loved living with my grandmother I love my sister and she is one of my best friends.     Vette: You're too sweet.     Viri: It's true.        ► Would you say you have a messed up life? ➔ Viri: *deep breath* I would say I've had trauma and loss. Significant amounts of both. I've been hurt very badly, physically and emotionally. I would have preferred not to have such pain. I don't like saying it's a "messed up life" though.  

►Have you ever ran away from home? ➔ No. I wish I could have stayed at home longer.      ► Have you ever been kicked out? ➔ Again, no.           FRIENDS      ► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔  Viri: No. If I dislike someone they will know, I can’t feign friendship.    ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ Viri: No. Some friends are more casual than others, and that’s how it goes. Everyone in this room is a very good friend.    ► Who is your best friend ➔  Viri: Lana and Vette.   ► Who knows everything about you ➔ Viri: Lana and I have no secrets from each other.  

[whimsicalworldofme]

In Five Years Time

A little over five years have passed since the end of the war and Poe and Ava’s rescue of Ben from the Republic prison, and life is good.

(This is it guys. The final chapter. It’s more of an epilogue really. Anyway...thank you for reading my story! It’s been really fun the last two months, posting things and seeing your reactions in real time. I’m glad we’ve shared this adventure together!)

Word Count: 1977

Content Warnings: None

As the warmth of Spring washed over Paxis, the residents of the city of Organasville turned their attention to their fields. Temmin had managed to build an increasingly successful farm which started to employ more and more residents as the size of the fields grew. It wasn’t easy work, but everyone saw it as work worth doing. Snap Farms fed the entire city most of their fruits and vegetables. And he’d expanded to dairy animals and meat birds, though never Porgs, which had become popular pets among the children. Chewie’s flock of them which had snuck back from Achtoo had started to become a problem but the children on base loved them and kept them as pets. That too had in turn become a big business for the people of Paxis.

               Ava’s family hadn’t escaped the Porg obsessions. All of the Dameron children had one, except for Poe and Ben, who at only two months old, had no need for pets. Poe had been right that they would fill their house with kids. Seven months after they rescued Ben, they’d welcomed little Kes into the family. He was Poe’s son through and through, from his vibrant brown eyes and cocky smile, to his risk taking and limitless affection. A little over a year later they had Rora, quiet and gentle like Ava but commanding and firm. And then the second set of twins, boys this time. Both Poe and Ben had had their reservations, giving the twins their names, but in the end, Ava won with the argument that since she’d suffered the excruciating pain of bringing them into the world, she was going to pick their names. It was hard to tell the littlest boys’ personalities yet. They were both clever, that was for certain, and quiet, which was welcome. Rora had been quiet too, which was a very nice balance to the riotous, raucous ways of their eldest siblings.

               That afternoon, Ava was planting their family garden. Temmin plowed the patch in their backyard for it each year when he plowed his own fields and it had been sitting for a few days just waiting. The problem was wrangling the children to help. Kes didn’t want to wear shoes. Rora cried because she didn’t want her Porg, Sir Screech, to be left out even though Ava explained to her red-faced child that Sir Screech would eat the seeds and therefore couldn’t come. Leia and Shara had opted to spend the day working with Poe, Ben, and Luke in their workshop. They had named it Dameron, Solo, and Son, and their reputation had spread through the Republic as being the best place to get speeders and light ships. Leia had taken a shine to the business side of things, the negotiations, making sales, while Shara really enjoyed the actual mechanics of building and repairing ships.

               “You’re going to have to change the name when the girls are old enough if they decide they want in on the business,” Ava teased Poe.

               “So, we’ll change it,” he beamed. “Dameron and Solo Family Ship Builders Has a good ring to it.”

               Poe had gone completely grey in the past five years which prompted a lot of good-natured ribbing from both Ben, who wasn’t grey at all, and Snap who had gone grey himself. But Ava liked it and insisted that he shouldn’t dye it even though it was an option he sometimes considered.

               “I don’t know,” he had stood in front of their bathroom mirror that morning, brushing at his curls with his fingertips as though looking for any remaining strands of jet colored hair. “You don’t think I look like a geriatric?”

               “You aren’t even forty,” Ava slipped her arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. “And grey is very sexy on you.”

               That had resulted in a very…physical affirmation of just how sexy she found him, which delayed the whole process of the morning. It wasn’t until after lunch that Ava marched her little troupe of helpers out into the garden to show them how to plant the seeds neatly in their little rows. She’d caved on Kes’ demands to go barefoot but Sir Screech was notably absent, though Rora just sniffled at the injustice.

               They had hit a stride about ten minutes in though it was slow going, since her kids had a million questions and felt the need to go slow and lay the seeds individually and just the right way. Kes’ attention was shot though when Finn came over, holding hands with his four year old daughter Hannah, a little girl with her mother’s vibrant brown eyes and her father’s tight curly black hair in three buns running down the middle of her head, and on the other side, toddled his two year old, Lee, who had his broad nose, round cheeks, and brilliant smile.

               “Mama Uncle Finn is here!” Kes shouted gleefully, standing up straight and pointing. “Hi Uncle Finn!” He stopped pointing and waved instead. “Hi Hannah! Hi Lee!”

               “Kes whatcha doing?” Hannah called back. “Daddy I’m gonna go see Kes.” She stated before letting go of Finn’s hand and running to her favorite friend and catching him up in a hug. They always greeted each other like they’d been apart for years, even though they saw each other pretty much every day.

               “We’re planting seeds. I’ll show you how,” Kes took Hannah by the hand and went to the next row with his little packet of seeds and began to instruct her on how to plant like his Mama had said.

               “Afternoon, Sis,” Finn kissed her on the cheek when they hugged hello. “Hope you don’t mind a few extra hands. Though I don’t know how much help we’ll be,” he chuckled.

               “Well we’ve already had two tantrums and a meltdown this morning,” Ava laughed. “So, nothing can really hinder us much more. And we love having you here. Hi Lee,” she bent down and tickled the little boy’s tummy, making him giggle.

               It took another hour and a half to get the whole garden planted and Ava was grateful that it didn’t take any longer because the children’s attention and energy were both vanishing rapidly. Ava insisted that Finn and his kids come inside for a snack before sending them home and sending her own kids up to their rooms for a nap. She checked on the babies, who were under the careful watch of C-3PO. Luke and Ben had come up with a new program update for him to help him pick up on social queues a little better and to understand babies’ needs. Ava still didn’t leave the babies with him long term, just when she had to go outside and couldn’t bring them with, or if she had to run into the city, which had grown up from the original base. Otherwise she had Finn and Rey watch them.

               With the kids napping, Ava had time to work on ideas for the next lesson she was going to teach her Jedi students. She and Rey had taken on a few more students in the past few years. There wasn’t any political or social motive for their doing so. They simply agreed that if there were people out there in the galaxy who suddenly found themselves able to connect to the Force and they wanted some guidance, someone should be there to provide it. Six whole families had come in the last two years so that one of their members could learn to control their connection. She’d planned out some exercises and started on dinner by the time the rest of the family arrived home.

               BB-8 and R2 zipped right into the living room, alongside Shara and Leia, to join Kes and Rora who were making little cities with building blocks. The babies were in little bassinets where Ava could see them just outside the kitchen.

               “Honey we’re home,” Ben snickered, announcing their arrival as he came around the corner from the foyer, followed by Poe and Luke. They smelled of grease and oil and were all utterly filthy. She had gotten used to it though. She enjoyed when her men came home after a long day of working together. They were always so pleased about what they were working on and loved to talk about their most recent projects.

               “How is the new speeder coming?” Ava asked, smiling as Ben kissed her on the cheek in greeting. He had changed so drastically for the better in the last five years. It had been countless sleepless nights of staying up with him through the nightmares. Endless days of building his confidence and ensuring him that they wanted him there with them. They assured him regularly that his past was in the past and it seemed now he finally believed it. There were still days when the sorrow hit, when he thought of Han and was torn up with guilt, or Leia and felt a sharp emptiness consuming him. Being surrounded by his family helped.

               “We’re trying to increase the max speed on it,” Ben scratched his head and went to the sink for a cup of water as Poe stepped forward, kissing his wife on the lips.

               “The engine is meant to go faster but the frame is dragging it back,” Luke added. “We have to find a way to compensate for the weight without losing some of the size and features.”

               “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” she assured him, reaching up and ruffling his hair, which prompted him to groan slightly but he smiled. “Why don’t you three go get cleaned up. Rey and Finn are coming with the kids for dinner in about thirty minutes.”

               “Uncle Ben,” Rora scuttled into the kitchen and grabbed Ben by the hand and tugged at him to go back towards the living room. “Come play with us. You can put the top on the tower,” she pointed at a high, narrow, teetering stack of blocks. “Please?” She pleaded, pulling his arm.

               “All right, sweetheart,” Ben laughed. “I’ll help with your tower but then I need to go wash up.”

               “Come on, Uncle Ben!” Kes waved eagerly for him to get over there as he added another block to the top of the tower, watching it teeter slightly.

               “Mom can Jaina come over for dinner?” Luke asked, filling and then gulping down a cup of water.

               “Of course,” Ava beamed. “You know she’s like family.”

               “Pushing,” Poe cautioned under his breath, holding her from behind.

               Jaina and Luke had officially begun dating a few years prior and while nineteen was young still, Ava was hoping to add a daughter-in-law permanently to the family in the near future. Luke had a level head on his shoulders and plans for his future. He’d become a fine young man and Ava was excited to see what his future held, unaffected by war.  

               “I’m going to go shower,” Luke ignored the commentary about his relationship, set his cup in the sink, and hurried upstairs. The little kids kept playing. Ben fulfilled his promise to Rora and completed her tower before ducking into his own room to shower too.

               “Twenty years ago, when you asked me to marry you the first time, did you think this would be the end result?” Ava asked, leaning against her husband, enjoying being held in his sturdy arms. He kissed her on the cheek and sighed in contentment.

               “No,” he admitted. “I never expected seven kids. Definitely didn’t anticipate Ben. Or having an adopted brother, his wife, and their kids living next door. I don’t know if I ever really expected anything other than war for the rest of my life. I hoped. But this is better than anything I’d hoped for. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

               “Yeah?” Ava turned around, smiling.

               “Yeah,” he kissed her happily.

                                                      The End

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