#actually might be my favorite scene in the whole series

[halfhissandwich]

The “Bravery” scene >>>

[charliemwrites]

Mister(s) Steal Your Girl — part 3

(I seriously need to come up with an actual name for this series before it sets in)

Introducing his grand horniness- John “Soap” MacTavish

No Content Warnings

It’s been six, coming up on seven, dates with Kyle. A dwindling part of you feared that after the absolutely mind-blowing night you two shared, he’d ghost you or something.

But nope, the morning after was spent in one of his jumpers, receiving kisses and breakfast and tea. The two of you watched movies all day until he drove you home, kissing you at the door. He let you keep his jumper.

Not three days later, he invited you to a movie you’d both been excited to see, and giggled over the popcorn bowl like teenagers. He didn’t even mind that you leaned over to whisper during certain parts, or the ramble you went on afterwards. (When you apologized for overanalyzing and talking so much, he gave you a bizarre, almost offended look. “Don’t you dare stop,” he huffed, “you’re way better than radio. What did you think about that after credit scene?”)

A few days after that, he called with apologetic news.

“Being shipped out for a couple weeks. Shouldn’t be anything too dangerous, and I’ll call when I can,” he explained.

You told the nervous little twist in your gut that you knew this about him. That this is Kyle’s job, not a convenient excuse to ignore you.

“Stay safe regardless,” you murmured earnestly into the phone. “I‘ll… I’ll miss you, Kyle.”

“You’re getting the biggest hug when I get back, darlin’,” he promised.

He kept to it too. Called at odd hours sometimes - once during dinner with your fiance even. But Brandon is always taking random calls nowadays, so you figured, given the circumstances, it’s not such a big deal to excuse yourself either.

On the other end of the call, Kyle sounded a bit tired, but happy to talk to you. He couldn’t tell you anything about what he was doing, but shared some smaller, safer details. That the tea was shite because Soap kept over-steeping it. That his lieutenant was big enough to body slam him during sparring practice. That Captain Price wishes you well and promises to bring Kyle back in one piece.

You even heard one of his teammates in the background, asking Kyle if he was “chirping at his new bird.” Soap, as you found out. They sound like a good bunch.

When Kyle comes back, you offer to welcome him at his apartment. You bring a little plate of cookies and a pack of his favorite beer, hoping it’s not too much. But when he opens the door, his expression melts before he scoops you up in the big hug he promised.

“You’re a fuckin’ dream, ya know that?” he murmurs, tucking his face against your neck.

You spend the whole weekend with him, kissing at the stitched-up knife wound on his muscled arm. Otherwise, all in one piece.

“Would you… want to meet my mates sometime?” he asks as you’re getting dressed for work Monday morning.

“Of course,” you reply instantly. Realize that might be too eager. “If you want to introduce me, that is.”

“I want to show you off to the bloody Queen, babes.”

You giggle, crossing the room to drop a quick kiss on his lips. He tries to draw you in for something deeper, but you wiggle and swat at him, complaining that he’ll make you late.

It’s good, you think. Blissfully good. Honeymoon phase, maybe, but considering how far off your actual honeymoon is, you feel like you deserve this. Kyle is a wonderful partner - kind, attentive, respectful. He listens, he cares, he’s independent of you and respects your boundaries. Sometimes you can’t believe you were ever nervous about this open relationship thing in the first place.

On Wednesday of that same week, Kyle tells you that Soap is going to visit and is eager to meet you. He was thinking dinner and drinks, come back to Kyle’s apartment afterwards. You readily agree.

The next day, a bouquet comes in. It’s a beautiful, though not extravagant, arrangement. Calla lilies, roses, and hydrangeas. The note that comes with it says, “Wanted to make a good first impression in case Kyle told you lies.” It’s signed “Johnny.”

You send a picture to Kyle, amused and a bit endeared. It brightens the rest of your day so much that you barely notice Lucy’s usual snide comments.

On Friday night, Brandon is unexpectedly home. Usually he doesn’t even come home from work on Fridays anymore - or at least he didn’t before you met Kyle. Lately, you only pop in if you’ve forgotten something for your overnight bag. You had to stay late at the office today, though, and your apartment is closer than Kyle’s.

“Was thinking we could go out tonight,” he tells you.

“Oh,” you say, taken aback. Not just by the invitation, but by the mix of emotion in your gut. Some of it is excitement and relief, but not as much as you’d expect. It’s warring with unease and reluctance, a bit of frustration that now of all times he wants to reconnect.

“Um, raincheck?” you offer, smoothing down your dress. It’s a new one you picked out with Kyle; you’re hoping he (Kyle) will notice. “I have plans.”

Brandon’s brow furrows, smile going tight. “You can’t reschedule?”

God you hate confrontation and he knows that, doesn’t he? Why is he pushing?

“Well I don’t know when I’ll get to see them again,” you explain.

Suddenly the tension in his shoulders eases. “Oh, is it a few people then?”

“Just a couple. I’m meeting one of them for the first time.”

“Have fun then,” he says, fishing his phone from his pocket. Like you’re not even there anymore.

You blink, then your phone buzzes with a message from Kyle and you hurry out the door.

“I knew you’d look terrific in that dress,” he says as soon as he sees you.

Thoughts of Brandon, that strange interaction, and those churning feelings all disappear in an instant. Kyle just has a way of soothing you.

The restaurant is one that has quickly become one of your favorites with Kyle. Good food, good drinks, quiet and relaxed atmosphere. You like the funky artwork and squishy booths.

Soap (Johnny?) has already gotten your party a table, and stands as the two of you approach. You nearly stop right there, and then almost trip a bit as momentum urges you onwards. Manage not to make a fool of yourself, but you still boggle at him.

Because Kyle? You thought he was a fluke. Just too handsome to be real, never mind tall and fit and friendly and— well, anyway.

You thought he was a fluke.

But Soap/Johnny is goddamn handsome too! Trim stubble, pretty eyes behind thick lashes, a soft-looking Mohawk that gives him a boyish charm without seeming immature.

“There you two are, thought ye stood me up!” he greets, drawing Kyle into one of those friendly man-hugs with the shoulder pats that look like they hurt.

“Youre a cheap date anyway, MacTavish,” Kyle replies, gently easing you forward with a hand on the small of your back.

“Och, don’t bad mouth me in front of a lady,” Johnny/Soap complains, then turns his twinkling gaze to you and offers a hand. “John MacTavish, but this bampot calls me Soap.”

“Not Johnny?” you ask curiously.

You take his hand, find callouses similar to Kyle’s. But his palm is a bit broader, a scar along his thumb - from a burn it looks like. Just as warm, just as careful. A firm, but not tight shake.

“You can call me anything you like, lass,” he says. From the corner of your eye, you see Kyle choking back a laugh. Johnny it is, you figure.

“Wait ‘Soap’ is a callsign right?” you ask as Kyle herds you into the booth.

“Right-o,” Johnny replies, smiling.

“Does Kyle have one?”

The grin that he gives you would make the devil sweat. As it is, Kyle groans and shoots you a betrayed look.

“Oh does he, lass.”

You light up, grin right back. “Tell me?”

“As if I could say no to a pretty face like that!”

And so begins a long, warm, perfect night. Johnny is great company. Welcoming and friendly, quick to smile, sharp witted. You could sit all night listening to him and Kyle quip at each other, but they’re so careful to keep you included and engaged.

Johnny even offers you some of his chips when his order comes, and you’re too delighted to say no. Not that Kyle seems to mind, encouraging you to steal a couple for him since Johnny keeps whacking his hand away.

The night ends back at Kyle’s. You whip up another batch of cookies with some suspiciously new-looking baking ingredients. The boys keep you company while you work — Kyle mixes the batter when your arm gets tired and Johnny keeps your wine glass full. In the end, you let them each get a lick of the dough spoon.

Eventually, you move to the couch, climb on together. Kyle, for some reason, scooches you into the middle instead of one of the ends, but you don’t mind and neither does Johnny, it seems. They argue over a movie to put on, but it doesn’t matter because the three of you talk through most of it anyway.

The second movie is your pick, which is your downfall. You barely get halfway through before dozing off. End up stirring to muffled laughter and harsh whispering. You’ve slumped into Johnny, you realize, seeing Kyle’s broad smile.

“Oh,” you hum, trying to sit up. “‘M sorry…”

“You’re alright, lass,” Johnny murmurs, gently nudging you back down.

“Kyle?” you ask, yawning.

“Still watching the movie, sweetheart. You can go back to your nap. Soap’s nice and warm, yeah?”

You hum, snuggle in again. He is comfy. “So are you.”

Another quiet chuckle. “I know, love.”

He rouses you later — the movie must be over, you think blearily. Kyle scoops you up, plants a kiss on your cheek as you tuck in.

“Say good night to your teddy bear, baby.”

“‘Night, Johnny,” you mumble, nuzzling your face into Kyle’s neck.

“‘Night, bonnie.”

You wake first the next morning — rare and precious. Kyle is lying behind you snoring softly, arm around your waist. You wiggle around to watch his sleeping face for a minute, appreciating the peace in his features. Drop a whisper-soft kiss on his cheek and then slip out of bed.

He grumbles a bit, but you coo at him to go back to sleep and he subsides quickly. Once you’ve freshened up in the bathroom, you pad out to the living room. Johnny is up as well, watching tv on low volume with a coffee on his knee.

“Mornin’,” he says.

“Good morning,” you chirp back, continuing for the kitchen.

“You’re up early,” he observes, following.

“Slept well,” you reply, grinning. “Thanks in part to you. I hope that wasn’t uncomfortable.”

He ducks his head a bit, a light flush blooming across his ears and cheeks. “Nah, can’t complain about a pretty girl fallin’ asleep on me. Means I must have made a good impression, eh?”

“Oh! That reminds me - those flowers were gorgeous. Did you know calla lilies are my favorite?”

“Aye, Kyle’s been talkin’ about ya nonstop since ye met.”

It’s your turn to flush, and much brighter. You hurriedly turn to the cabinets.

“Well, thank you. I loved them.”

“Yeah? I’ll send you more then.”

Startled, you whip around on him, mouth stupidly open as you try to find a response. “You really don’t have to do that!”

“But what if I want to?”

And if you were struggling for words before, you’re hopeless now. So you just throw your hands up with a little “gah” sound and turn back to gathering ingredients.

“What are we making?” Johnny asks, taking mercy on you. Not that using that sly “we” isn’t devastating to your composure.

“My super special flapjack recipe,” you answer. “Could you get that big bowl down for me?”

He steps past you to do so while you dig out the measuring spoons from the dishwasher.

“If they’re as good as your cookies, then I’m gonna need extra PT after this weekend.”

“Good,” you reply, smug, “that’s my goal.”

“Dangerous woman.”

You snort, holding up a wooden spoon. “Oh yeah, I’m a real threat brandishing cooking utensils at a special ops guy.”

“Och, don’ sell yourself short - my nan used to be a menace with those things!”

Kyle exits the bedroom fifteen minutes later to the smell of cinnamon and his best friend with a face full of flour.

“…Do I even want to know?”

“Just be glad she’s on our side, Garrick.”

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[cheesiedomino]

RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?

genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“I have a date tomorrow guys.”

Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.

You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.

“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.

Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”

Well, you suppose you could put it that way.

You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.

“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”

Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.

But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.

“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.

Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.

See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.

You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.

What’s the worse that could happen?

( 1 day earlier )

Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.

‘The rules are simple:

You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.

MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.

NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.

Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’

Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.

After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.

SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝

5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!

Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)

Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.

$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.

You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.

Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.

Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.

“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.

You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.

“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.

“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.

“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.

Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”

“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.

He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.

The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.

The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.

For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.

Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.

“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.

Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.

He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.

“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.

Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”

“How many clients do you usually get?”

This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.

“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.

You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.

Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.

He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.

‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’

You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.

‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.

“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”

“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”

He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.

As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.

While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.

“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.

You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.

“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.

He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”

You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”

The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.

“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.

You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.

You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.

“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.

There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?

Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.

The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.

“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.

Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.

“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.

He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.

“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.

“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”

“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.

“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”

You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.

“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.

He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”

Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.

He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.

After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.

[End <3].

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite QL Kisses of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

From horny kisses to sweet kisses, lip kisses to hand kisses, and everything in between, these were my favorites of the year. A few couples feature twice but that doesn't mean I love the others any less, it just means I couldn't decide between two.

♡ Rak x Mut Blinding Blue Jellyfish Light of Love Kiss (Love Sea)

Fort and Peat are such good on-screen kissers that I could've honestly chosen any other kiss from this show and it would've been amazing but! Blinding light of love kisses are my favorite kisses so it had to be this one.

♡ God x Diew Pilot Kiss (Monster Next Door)

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WISH THIS KISS HAD MADE IT INTO THE SHOW. THIS KISS SINGLE-HANDEDLY CONVINCED ME TO EVEN WATCH THE SHOW IN FIRST PLACE.

Pilot kiss you will always be famous.

♡ Jack x Joke First Kiss (Jack & Joker)

Now THAT is how you resolve the tension. Sometimes the slow burn is really a slow fuse and at the end you get a very hungry, very horny explosion. Thank you, YinWar.

♡ Gi Seop x Jin Woo Under the Bed Kiss (Boys Be Brave!)

There's just something about this scene that really made it stick with me. It means everything to me that Jin Woo was the one to kiss first after he spent so much time and energy trying to run away from his feelings. I always love when I can see the exact moment someone gives in.

♡ Yuan x Qian Morning After Kisses (Unknown)

Quite possibly one of my favorite morning after scenes ever. Tender and sleepy and soft and filled with the relief of finally having something you've wanted your entire life but never believed you could have.

♡ Korn x Tonkla Reunion Kiss (4 Minutes)

Did I spend the entire show wanting Tonkla to kill Korn? Absolutely, and I still wish he had but you know what? Tonkla wanted Korn and I want Tonkla to get everything he wants in this life. Also it was just a really damn good kiss.

♡ Vivi x Mook Couch Kiss (Love Sea)

Vivi could neither communicate her feelings effectively nor follow her own excellent advice but what she could do was kiss the breath out of Mook and do it very well.

♡ Haruki x Jin Playground Kiss (Our Youth)

It's not just that this is the first time we could see Jin actively kiss Haruki back, and with the blinding light of love illuminating them no less. It's also that Jin finally allowed himself to voice his genuine desires and be selfish and allowed himself to give in to the moment.

♡ Moo x Kang Boyfriend Proposal Kiss (Only Boo!)

MY ADORABLE BOYS ARE FINALLY BOYFRIENDS FOR GOOD!They're living their dreams, they're in love, and they're letting the whole world know it, together.

♡ Anin x Pin "It's Still Noon" Kiss (The Loyal Pin)

After so many years of yearning, there was not a force on this earth that could've stopped Anin from making time with her girl at every opportunity. Who cares if it's noon, they're in their house and food shouldn't be the only thing that gets eaten in that dining room.

♡ Kyousuke x Isumi Confession Cheek Kiss (Sugar Dog Life)

Listen. Sometimes, when you are in love with someone who is very sweet and oblivious, a simple confession isn't enough. You need to hit them over the head with your feelings, or kiss them as the case may be, to help them along and realize their own.

♡ Yak x Dee Over the Shoulder Kiss (Wandee Goodday)

It's just such a pretty kiss. They both are, but that cheek kiss hits especially good with that blissed out look on Dee's face. My love of blinding light of love kisses might have some serious competition from pink light kisses.

♡ Jane x Ryan Tippy Toes Kiss (The Trainee)

Their first kiss, which took place just moments before, was perfectly lovely. I enjoyed it a lot. BUT THIS SECOND KISS? THIS LITTLE PECK WHICH RYAN ASKED FOR BY SIMPLY STANDING UP ON HIS TIPPY TOES? SUBLIME. PEAK ROMANCE.

♡ Meiji x Freya Lipstick Kiss (Deep Night: The Two of Us)

The correct way to apply lipstick. The only way to apply lipstick actually.

♡ Do Hoe x Ju Yeong Snack Time Cheek Kisses (Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo)

This? This was what we deserved. We deserved the achingly sweet domesticity of Ju Yeong bringing Do Hoe snacks while he studied and kissing his cheek every time. We deserved to see them in matching fuzzy teddy bear couple pajamas.

IT'S WHAT WE DESERVED!

♡ Phee x Non Pink Kiss (Dead Friend Forever)

I was thrilled for this kiss by mere virtue of finally getting to see Ta and Barcode kiss, but the expression on Non's face? The pink lighting? Phenomenal.

We really could've had it all. Rolling in the deep. 🥲

♡ Takashi x Hiro Claiming Kiss (Love is Better the Second Time Around)

A hickey may be the result, but every hickey begins life as a kiss. And this kiss was a symbol of Hiro's desire to feel like Takashi was really his, to not feel like an outsider in Takashi's life, and to be someone Takashi could share everything with.

♡ Huaien x Xiaobao Blinding Light of Love Kiss (Meet You at the Blossom)

Sometimes a good kiss is more than just a good kiss, which this was. Sometimes it's about what the kiss means to the people watching it. Sometimes it's about the fact that it exists and that people get to watch it at all.

♡ San x Vee Forehead Kiss (Century of Love)

This kiss was such a gentle, loving reassurance that Vee would take the lead and take care of San during their first time being intimate together.

♡ Myung Ha x Yeo Woon First Kiss (Love for Love's Sake)

So incredibly visually pleasing and also: "You're my first everything". My heart. My entire heart and soul. Has anything ever been as earnest as those words and this kiss?

♡ Ming x Joe Face Sniff Kisses (My Stand-In)

This is exactly the sort of tenderness Joe always deserved from the man he loved. Even though it took a thousand agonizing years for Ming to get his shit together and give it to him, better late than never. Plus, I always love when we get sniff kisses.

♡ Sun x Junior First Kiss (Caged Again)

What an absolutely perfect, absolutely lovely first kiss between two absolutely darling boys who are figuring out what it means to be in love with each other. I adored it.

♡ Yuan x Qian Dinner Date Kiss (Unknown)

It's the wine splashing that really makes this for me. Yuan waited years for this date and for the opportunity to yank the man he loved across a dinner table to kiss him. And I just love how he looks down at Qian's hand before he does it.

♡ Do Hoe x Ju Yeong Christmas Present Kiss (Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo)

It's Christmas and Do Hoe is smiling and kissing his boyfriend and everything is peaceful and romantic and horny and good.

♡ Jack x Joke We're About to Fucking Die Kiss (Jack & Joker)

There's a bomb around Joke's neck and bitch ass Alice is out here being Jigsaw, but damn if that's gonna keep Jack from staying by his boyfriend's side. If they're going down, they're going down together, making out in front of god and everyone.

♡ Anin x Pin Party Kiss (The Loyal Pin)

This kiss from the trailer was the one I was most excited to see and it didn't disappoint. It's pretty! It's horny! Anin is wine tipsy! Pin is jealous because other women were hitting on her girl all night! Perfection.

♡ Shan x Ob-aun Blindfold Kiss (Battle of the Writers)

Tutor and Yim kiss so pretty and this show spent its entire runtime reminding us of that fact. I could've chosen any of their kisses, which is true of many pairings on this list, but this one is particularly pretty. And you can see Yim's shoulder moles, which is a fun little treat just for me.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

VEILGUARD SPOILERS FOR LUCANIS ROMANCE SCENE

I haven't seen anyone post this option version for the first dialogue wheel choice in Lucanis' romance scene yet, but it's by far my favorite because it's one of the few (perhaps even only) opportunities the game gives you to add a little depth to your character and the Lucanis relationship (even if it's never mentioned again). My comment below is just about that one choice and followup but ummmmm i recorded the whole scene anyway just for you know. Me. Anyway...

This is the only "anxiety/alarm" dialogue option I think I picked the whole game, but I think the timing of it is really perfect. Especially with the knowledge that Rook was trapped in the Regret Prison for WEEKS. Even if time moved faster for them, we can still imagine it probably wasn't as fast as it took us the player to go through it. But Rook has just gone through a series of awful things--losing one of their companions (and being the one to consign them to that role), learning Varric has been dead all along, Solas (who they were perhaps just coming to trust) betraying them, being trapped with no idea if they'll be able to leave. And they just got confirmation that Solas was using blood magic to make them hallucinate their dead friend speaking to them, so that they'd fall in line with his plans more easily. So when they're trapped and struggling to escape and suddenly hear their new companions calling to them, and come out to find everyone they hoped was still alive safe and waiting for them... wouldn't they doubt it? At least a little? I mean if Solas REALLY wanted to trap them in the Fade forever, wouldn't this be the absolute best way to do it--by convincing them they ARE out and everything might still be okay? And this is especially great with the Lucanis romance because he (and Spite) are the only one on the team who have first hand experience with that same thing. He escaped the Ossuary but he didn't, truly, at first. He knows what it's like to be trapped somewhere and then not really believe in his own freedom afterward. And THIS time, he gets to be the one comforting Rook, who's been his rock through the whole experience, and Rook gets to be the vulnerable one for a change as he finally steps into the more active/supportive role. I just think it's really nice symmetry, to have an option where the hookup scene is coming from a place of loss/desperation on BOTH of their sides, to convince themselves that everything is real AND there's a chance that everything might actually turn out okay in the end.

[cr4zy-cycl0n3]

Yo! I'm doing a Heroes of Olympus rewrite!

I'm not a huge fan of how some scenes go in canon and how the characters esp the gods are handled in Hoo, and after reading one too many rewrite/AU fics, I've decided fuck it, imma make my own.

I'm changing quite a few things, like:

- making Piper's memories not be tampered with and as a result be way closer to Leo (credit to Heroes of Juno by @queenjunothegreat for this idea!)

- MOTHERLY HERA/JUNO WHO PSEUDO-ADOPTS JASON FTW also parental Lupa but that'll be more apparent in a Jason prequel/sequel(depends on how I wanna format it) I’ll write after TLH is done

- slowburn valgrace instead of comphet jiper

- Leo and Piper QPR(+Jason when Piper stops being his #1 opp). Jasipereo ftw babyyy

- the whole series is just gonna have a good deal of focus on the Lost Trio. I'm not gonna shaft anyone ofc but my favorite punching bags characters are just gonna get extra love :3

- Jason's gonna be considerably more feral cuz CMON MAN WAS RAISED BY WOLVES(this is more prominent in the later books cuz in TLH he was alr feral, going at 2 giants with his BARE ASS HANDS)

- Jason has more bite cuz DAMMIT HE DESERVES TO BE ANGRY/BITTER AND CLAP BACK. HIS LIFE IS SHIT, LET MY BRO BE MAD

- more exploration into Jason's character cuz man was shafted so hard :(

- exploration of characters' powers in general, def buffing the Big Three kids to be as strong as Percy cuz holy cow he's OP. I love Percy and his OP-ness, but the other Big Three kids should be just as OP

- Zeus is the God of Justice, which we don't see much of in PJO's characterization of him, but Jupiter is Roman and hence is much more strict in the RRverse, so consequently I think his domain of law and order is more central to Jupiter than his greek counterpart, so I'd like to explore Jason having powers related to that and being an absolute powerhouse when it comes to debates and politics despite hating them

- characterizing the Gods differently from canon as I'm a Hellenist and writing them as they are in canon makes me like. Kinda uncomfortable. I will be using mythic literalism as that is what PJO/HoO's based on and I'm not rewriting the very foundations of the series, so they will still have committed the things they did in mythology, though I'm keeping them largely unaltered from the Og greek mythos and unsanitized as this isn't intended for a young audience like PJO is. Their behavior won't be exactly like their depictions in myths nor how they actually are irl, it's a mix of both(Ex: Zeus has still done heinous shit so he won't be as great as he is irl, but he isn't supremely petty and bitchy like he is in PJO.). This uhh. Will probably mean that PJO events would go differently which would influence HOO but if I think about that too much I'm gonna wanna do a PJO rewrite too and akbhdhd so just imagine that everything that goes on in PJO goes as canon (for now at least) for some reason or another.

- Octavian and Jason are were best friends cuz I said so. This change is inspired by To Storm and Fire(a Heroes of Olympus rewrite) which I am in LOVE with. The antagonistic side characters(like Drew and Octavian) got very little development or character exploration so l'm definitely giving them that in my rewrite!

- The Seven feel and are much closer together

- delving more into the sevens' trauma pre-camp, might also do a one/two shot for each of them. Jason’s a given cuz I’m writing a whole ass fic or even series dedicated to his past, Leo and Piper definitely, probably also Hazel and Annabeth, not sure on Percy and Frank cuz for Frank I’m def going into the trauma that comes with growing up in an Asian household but don’t have too many ideas on how to execute that, and for Percy I don’t have all that many ideas in general outside of the little we know in PJO(I used to think we knew a lot but honestly, we really don’t? Like we know Poseidon left, Sally had to work a lot, Gabe sucks, and he got kicked out of 6 six schools in 6 years and the reasons, but we don’t have any concrete details. There might be more in HoH, I haven’t read it yet so lmk if there is). Open to any ideas for this!

- camp is. Tense. It's been only a few months since the war, grief is still fresh, and Jason being tall, blonde, and blue-eyed with a scar ain't helping 💀 some people think Silena was a hero, others think she was a villain, some people sympathized with Luke, others despised him, there's a lotta differing views.

I have loads more ideas that I won't get into here cuz the post'll get way too long, but l'd love to hear what you guys think! What scenes/characterizations should I change? What topics would you like to see handled differently? What should I add? I'm open to any and all suggestions!

Currently outlining TLH, will start posting it on my ao3 once I have the first chapter and 4-5 buffer ones written so I'll prolly start posting it in a month or two? Idk, depends on my workload irl and if I get hit by writer’s block. Maybe less, maybe more, who knows. I'll be writing a bunch of shorter stories for specific moments, time between books, and namely a prequel/tih sequel focusing on Jason's past and who he was before Hera wiped his memory. Open to any suggestions for additional works too. Feel free to drop any questions and suggestions bout the rewrite here or in my ask box!

[bookwyrminspiration]

Unraveled: B&N Virtual Event Summary

There are no unraveled spoilers; since we're re-covering a period of time we've already seen, there are references to specific events in Stellarlune

Shannon Messenger was accompanied by B.B. Alston, author of Amari and the Night Brothers, who asked the questions

Enjoy! (Quil note: this might be one of the best ones, lads 👀)

Shannon has pre-release jitters. Even though she's done this so many times, she'll never not be nervous

It's a different book with a different POV. She's just as excited as she is panicked. "I contain multitudes!"

Why is this 9.5 instead of 10? Why a Keefe book? Is this part of a bigger story or just a fun bonus? It's a little of both. Keefe fans are gonna love a whole book about him, but Shannon never would have taken attention away from the main story if it wasn't essential for the series, since everyone's anxious for book 10.

Be patient! She's never written a 10 book series before. She's "trying to build a bridge while crossing it."

Keefe wasn't just eating human food having fun, though Shannon would've written 800 pages of snacking if she could.

What he got up to Shannon planned/outlined that it would all come out in book 9 when he was back, but, "No, Keefe is not ready to share these secrets. There's reasons why he's gonna keep this hidden."

"That's a problem for future Shannon!"

But then everything future Shannon tried with book 10 didn't quite work. This is Keefe's story, and KOTLC is limited to Sophie.

In order for Sophie to know, Keefe would have to sit down and talk it out with everyone, and he wasn't quite ready to do that when Shannon needed him to.

So, special 9.5! So we can live that time with Keefe, see what he does, where he goes, who he meets, what he uncovers.

This way readers will be much more familiar with it when we get to all that in book 10--for the first time ever, readers will actually know more than Sophie!

Shannon confirms we're getting Keefe's middle name--she debated with herself, thought about keeping that secret forever, but she wants there to be big pay-offs in Unraveled. And what book could be more perfect for this?

Was it hard to write from Keefe's POV? Usually his voice comes super easily, so Shannon was expecting it to be word-vomit. But throughout the book and especially at the beginning, he's not himself. Everything he's been through has changed him, made him afraid of himself, more quiet and reserved. How does she balance making this interesting when her jokester character won't talk!

It was interesting diving into his head to see where he's at and why he's acting different. And it was interesting flipping it--Sophie's a fish out of water in the Lost Cities, but this time Keefe's the fish!

She had to keep reminding herself all this stuff familiar to her is new to him. "Flaming Hot Cheetos??? Is that food...????"

How has Keefe changed the most since book 1? In some ways he's lost his confidence. He's discovered a lot that's made him question if he's good, if he's causing problems, if he's putting people at risk. In his head he's not nearly as much the casual, lighthearted guy he seems.

He's also matured. He really had to step up and say, "Okay, it's time to take action. I can't just goof around. I've got the fate of the world on my shoulders in some way too." He's also trying to protect his friends and feels very personally responsible. His burden is a lot heavier than it used to be.

What's his favorite part of the human world? He definitely enjoys the human pop culture. Seeing how humans depict elves, certain (not all) human foods.

Lot of fun for Shannon as a snacker, but he's vegetarian, which makes it harder. He can't have fried chicken--but not every scene is about food.

Any places Shannon knew she had to send Keefe? She prefers to write places she's been if possible; in fantasy, if you can get the real accurate, it makes the fantastical that much more believable. So she started with places she's been, but she hasn't been nearly enough to cover all this. So she included places she'd like to, places she knows other people have been so she can get details from them.

(itty bitty seriously small spoiler from Shannon) Keefe starts looking for libraries, so Shannon googled cool libraries and went down that rabbit hole.

Keefe's been crushing on Sophie since the moment they met. What's does he like the most about her? (Lot of hearts in chat). "Keefe appreciates that Sophie is such a different perspective. He really sees that she doesn’t necessarily see herself accurately, but he understands her. He can see why she’s harder on herself with her upbringing, the bad thoughts she heard. He realized she doesn’t always understand herself."

He’s also really impressed by how brave and strong she is, and how she’s willing to risk her life and do the thing when everyone's like Sophie don't do the thing! And she’s like I must do the thing! Keefe thinks, “Wow can’t stop her from doing the thing!" It'd be great if she stopped ending up in the healing center, but he appreciates her for doing it despite the consequences. Admires her for it. He really wants to be worthy of how amazing he thinks she is. (More hearts in chat)

Can we confirm Keefe's POV of the kiss? Yes! Shannon almost wasn't able to do it. Unraveled was supposed to release November 12, but then her kids, "caught every possible virus they could possibly catch." Plus, publishing takes time, so they had to move it back. Those extra days allowed her to squeeze in the bonus story and she had a lot of fun writing it.

She knew she couldn't continue the book past when he leaves the human world, but she knew readers would really want it. She understands if you skip to the end to read it first--and there shouldn't be too many spoilers if you do, but she still recommends going from the beginning.

Why did it take Sophie and Keefe so long to get to the kiss? Did you know it would be in Stellarlune or did it happen naturally? Shannon tries not to pre-plan emotional things because it makes it feel forces. As the author she's in charge of the plot, not the emotions. Every time Sophie almost dies, that's her, but how Sophie feels about almost dying is all Sophie.

So anything emotional like this, Shannon's checking in with Sophie, and, "She really wasn't ready to see this was an option for her--she really was in the Great Foster Oblivion. She had no idea that Keefe liked her, and she wasn't the type to start developing feelings without having that piece of the puzzle. She genuinely thought Keefe was just teasing and was a flirt with everything. She didn't think it was something to take seriously."

She also had her eye on someone else for quite some time, so the story had to wait until Sophie was ready to take that step. Shannon discussed it with her editor a lot

Every week they have a zoom meeting to talk through the plot. They thought Stellarlune was probably the book for the kiss, but Shannon didn't know for sure until she got to that chapter. She's very proud of Sophie for being brave enough to take that step and bring the walls down.

The fact it took so long and tortured readers wasn't on purpose--"Torturing my readers is fun, but I wouldn't do it unnecessarily!"

It was interesting going back to write the kiss from Keefe's POV. She was worried as she did that though Sophie was ready for it now, what if Keefe wasn't? But, "then it was like oh, no, nope he’s on the same page." Keefe was screaming "FINALLY!!!" in his head.

How different is KOTLC now from how you first imagined it? The problem they're dealing with is fundamentally built into their world--it's not just an evil villain who decided to take over. "Multiple rebellions are going on because there are some fundamental injustices that have been ignored and ignored and ignored. And two groups have said enough is enough."

She always knew they'd have to reckon with this--in some ways they have, but there's more to come. But she also always leaves room for ideas to grow. Her first ideas aren't her best; they're too obvious. Now she's had a lot of time to think Keeper through.

Even still, she worries about doing it justice and, even with a plan, never knows for sure what will happen until she sits down to write it.

Shannon returned the question to B.B. He said the same thing--at a certain point as the story grows, you can really do so many more things, you have so many more villains. It builts the characters and relationships.

Shannon takes a moment to recommend B.B.'s series, Amari and the Night Brothers. She can't sing it's praise enough. "After you race through Unraveled, race through this!" There are 3 books out with 2 more to come. Maybe more.

10 books is a lot--how does Shannon do it? This is part of why she has those weekly zoom chats. But she's constantly going back to look things up, making lists of unanswered questions, listening to the audiobooks. It's all daunting. "It's all chaotic. Wonderful, glorious chaos. That's what I'm telling myself."

Readers are anxious to get back to Keefe and Fitz. How awkward would a conversation be now? Oh yeah. They've had to be around each other since all of that, but that haven't had to openly acknowledge it. But Shannon can feel the scene on the horizon and can't avoid it forever--though Keefe would love to. "Peace out!" Given Fitz's temper, Shannon fully expects there to be yelling, but sometimes he surprised her. We'll see once she gets there.

When Shannon gets too specific in outline, it sucks the life out of her story. She needs to know the rough order of the plot--this threat, then this thing, this this reveal. But the little emotional beats are more up to the characters. Talks this through with her editor too.

Can you tell us anything about book 10? Would love to be like it exists and it's coming out tomorrow! Sadly, still writing it and doesn't know the exact release date. She promises she'll get it to us as soon as she can. Obviously we left Stellarlune on a huge cliffhanger and Unraveled answers some questions but doesn't deal with it at all.

"Keefe's secrets...secrets do have a way of coming out." He can't hide them forever and it'll take something big to motivate him to come clean. "Wow, that's the most non-answer. I swear answers are coming!"

Is there any news on the movie? Earlier this year they announced Warner Brothers got the rights and Emma Watts is the producer. Currently Emma is working hard to get everything behind the scenes in a row to give the movie the best possible chance it has to get greenlit and made since it'll be so expensive.

Shannon thinks this team is one of their best shots at it happening. There's still a bit of finger crossing, but it anyone can make it work, it's Emma Watts.

Shannon is NOT writing the screen play. She's got book 10 to write, plus she doesn't think she can be objective about the changes that'd need to be made to adapt it. She's too attached. She wants to give input and suggestions, but wants something with more screenwriting expertise and distance from the story.

B.B. doesn't want to write his screenplay either--it's a totally different skill.

What's your best advice for new writers? Ooh, okay. 9 times out of 10 when a young writers asks for advice, Shannon asks "Have you written your book yet?" And the answer is no. They're just thinking about writing a book. So her advice: focus on writing! Finish that book! You can't be a writer unless you write! Then revise and revise and revise. "The work is not done when you get to the end."

When you have the best book you could possibly have, then think about next steps and publishing. But for now...write!

Shannon returned the question to B.B., who says to read widely. Read as much as you can to build up your story skills. Find what you like. As KOTLC readers, we've seen in the story how to develop characters and plots and arcs.

He also says don't put pressure on yourself. Write for the fun of writing, so even if it never goes anywhere, you still have something you're proud of.

"Once it's a job it's a job. It's different."

Shannon doesn't find books on writing helpful for her; they're procrastination. Instead she reads and asks herself what's working and why--why am I enjoying this so much?

She learned the most from books she didn't like. She asked herself why she wasn't into it--which doesn't mean there was anything wrong with it. It was personal preference, which helped her find her writing voice. She likes a lot of dialogue, a lot of humor, cliffhangers, etc.

School may ask you to read things you don't like; as a writer, take it as an opportunity to pick it apart and find out why.

How do you come up with character names? Baby name books. By the time she had to name her own kids, she was already an expert. She likes names to match the character.

Sophie was going to be named Alexandra because it means helped and defender of mankind, but it was too on the nose. She wasn't an Alex, or Alexis, or even an Alexandra

Sophie means wisdom, which is what she gives to her world. "No pressure, right?"

Fitz is from Fitzroy, which means son of the king, and his family is almost like royalty.

"Keefe means handsome. *shrugs* So. Obvious there." The book she got it from said "good-looking one" specifically.

It's the same for B.B. He likes to look at the year the character was born and what was popular, too. Amari means inner strength, and a big part of her story is learning she's more than where she's from and to believe in herself

How does it feel to write from a new POV? Would we maybe get a Fitz book? Shannon's learned to never say never. The story could throw her another curve ball, she might do a short story in his POV. If the story dictates she needs to step into anyone else's shoes, she will. "I've gotten this far by trusting the story."

Who was Shannon's favorite author/book when she was 12? Shannon grew up before the big children's media boom, she she didn't have a lot of options. She did like the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

"You have no idea how lucky you are there's so many great stories out there. Different POVs, more characters that look like more people--though still need more work on that front."

For B.B., he was a huge fan of Charlie and the Chocolate factory--but he also didn't have much to pick from.

When Shannon was around 12, she also fell out of love with reading. She had a 7th grade teacher who was very strict about reading "at your level." And she decided Shannon was at college level, so kept giving her older books like Crime and Punishment, Little Women, etc.

While Shannon appreciates the classics, they weren't what she wanted to read, and it turned it into a chore. She went from a kid who took stacks home from the library to someone who only read if it was an assignment. (Shocked faces in chat).

Shannon firmly believes in letting your kids read what they want. That doesn't mean don't encourage them to broaden their horizons, but don't take away things they love. That's how you kill someone's love of reading.

B.B. gives props to Shannon for the female main character; it's one of the reasons Amari can exists--"well Shannon did it and it worked."

Shannon's very glad Amari exists. Keeper got a lot of rejections with coded wording that made it very clear female main characters were not as marketable as boy heroes. And she wasn't an instant success--it took about 5 books to gain momentum, and a lot of that was teachers, librarians, book sellers, and the kids themselves telling their friends to read it.

Any info on the graphic novel? Part 2 is definitely coming and in the works, it just takes time. She's seen some tentative cover sketches, might see more soon, and is very excited.

Team Fitz or Team Keefe? Even though Shannon's written a whole book from Keefe's POV *she holds it up backwards, then upside down, then gets it right* and has a Keefe cutout in the corner *moves the camera so we can see him--he was gonna be in the background but it looked creepy*, she truly is Team Sophie. If she ever got a tattoo, it's say Team Sophie. But she's terrified of needles so never will.

People think they kissed so it's settled, right? "Well, the series isn't done yet. Sophie could change her mind." This goes back to what Shannon talked about with letting the characters dictate the emotions.

What first inspired Keeper? A lot of things. Hilariously, it started as a short story. Epic fail--she's what, 8,000 pages into her short story? She was working on a different book and got stuck, so decided to get to know a side character.

The side character she chose was Fitz. For some reason, she doesn't know why, the plot was he'd meet a little girl and realize she was an elf.

But "Guess what, you're an elf!" was a terrible ending and she couldn't stop thinking about it. What happened to that little girl? How could she not know she was an elf? Why would they hide her?

A few weeks later she knew "yeah, I gotta switch books." She couldn't get it out of her head, but it was daunting because she knew it would be a massive project. But that little girl would not go away.

What was the inspiration for Amari? Doing pre-med stuff is long and boring, so he was looking for something fun. He thought about Men in Black and what if there were supernatural creatures living amongst us. He was working on the world and one day Amari popped into existence.

Has Shannon ever made the Keeper recipes and what's her family's favorite? Shannon actually developed the recipes herself, which wasn't something she ever thought she'd have to do. It took a lot of baking fails, but her favorite is anything mallowmelt--but she always warns people it's SO sweet. Good, but a few bites is enough sugar for a week.

Planning any non-Keeper series? Shannon doesn't know what she'll do once she's done with KOTLC. She'll definitely keep writing because she loves telling stories, but she's so immersed in Keeper all her other ideas are on the back burner.

B.B. thanks Shannon for being so inspirational with her work and how she interacts with her fans--he learned a lot from her. Shannon says B.B.'s always one of the top people she loves to do events with.

Once again, she is begging everyone to read Amari and the Night Brothers. "Please, please, please read them! Oh and I guess read Unraveled too. *accidentally holds it upside down again*"

“Tomorrow it's out in the world. Thank you for your faith in me and I can't wait for you to learn all of Keefe's secrets. It's gonna be an adventure.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Summer Games BLgin.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Those Greeks did have that reputation for naked dudes rolling around together so I'm declaring it...

BL OLYMPICS!

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates through mid August, just for funzies.

July 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - I guess mass murder is nothing next to having to raise funds for your basketball club. There were a lot of water sports in these eps (no not that kind). I’m not complaining. The street BB playoffs were fun. Frank is GOOD. I didn’t know he played. They aren’t using doubles for this. Meanwhile, it’s a bummer this one can’t be a poly romance. 

Winner!

Gold in Handball

for that shower scene in ep 9 (also... ya know, DUNK TANKS)

Balls in hands of all types.

Briefly must chat about that intro/outro music. It's like Thai autotuned Stray Kids. Which means I kinda adore it.

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 5-6 of 10 - I guess he’s had a long time to learn how to fight really really well. This is a fun show. It does occasionally feel like a bunch of gay boys playing dress up. I LIKE P’Third a lot. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be an actual baddie. I’m finding the music a little intrusive in these episodes. I love the deconstructed suits look, and the velvet blazer. Very 90s. The confessions scene was very cute. It’s a good thing Vee is so easy-going, because the last few months of his life have been truly insane. And now he’s queen of the castle? Still working his convenience store job?

I honestly thought we'd just get kisses halfway through not a full on sex scene. But it was very sweet and tender. Appreciated, boys, thanks. However it’s never a good sign when the sex scene is it at the halfway point, it just means there’s gonna be a lot of trauma to come.

(I gotta say every time Daou smiles he actually looks his age.) 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I like them now. I mean as a pair of characters. I wasn’t really sold on the main couple until this episode, and now I’m interested (yes I am shallow). The boy with the glasses is definitely sus. I’m quite drunk, thus I have to say Sailub is the hottest thing on my screen right now. Metas's taste in interior design sucks. OK, that physical therapy session was sexy. I wasn’t sold at first, but now I love this side couple too.

Argh. SailubPon kiss so well. Also COUNTER LIFT!!!! 

Silver in Weightlifting

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I’m the one who always says this stuff, but this pair might be the best at relationship heat. Let me try to explain. They are good at putting on screen the kind of NRE, want to bone, just really into each other physically and also connected and loving. It’s the way their bodies always arch towards each other. They’re very comfortable in each other’s space in a way that’s really rare to see out of Any BL country but Taiwan. I think they might be my favorite couple currently active. I don’t know how to put it except that

it looks like they want each other,

it looks like they like each other,

it looks like they’re into each other,

and it looks like they GET each other.

It’s nice to see on screen. The plots/stories/narratives that they're given aren’t doing them any favors, but man they’re a good pair. Meanwhile, was I screaming the whole time don’t rip the sample of the custom piece? Yes I was. But it was still sexy.

Sam getting discovered was fun! Yo is gonna burn his arse good.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Okay! Officially boyfriends. I almost like the friendship btw Atom and Mudmee better than the romances. But they all so cute. 

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I hate the gf intern so much. I think she is past redemption now - time for death. What is it they say about ADs? they do all the work, for none of the credit but all of the blame.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I guess Peak’s dad really is that awful. Jane is the beard? Got it. The show got suddenly quite sweet and complex. Where did that come from? Meanwhile ,Almond + Latte + sex education is awesome. Great trope we rarely get in BL. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Look, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with the show. I like to be driven one way or the other by Meme. Trash watch here. (delayed this week, I can't face it)

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 12 - Out the gate I don’t like it. I don’t really like the teasing thing and the acting is poor. That said, neck kisses in the very first episode do make me happy. So I’m gonna keep watching. As for ep 2, I like the sides, and we have gay brothers trope activated. I also like the paranormal element, it adds some much-needed tension, but it is still a little slow (typical of a pulp).

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like our poor lost puppy slowly figuring out what’s going on. It’s so elegantly done. Also, the the boy begs his quiet seme to SAY something, you know he’s gonna DO something instead. 

I could have done wihtout the pan around the head kiss. We over that, 8 years ago.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Why don’t I like this show? I had to think about it quite a bit. It’s the power differential. I never enjoy it when the character with less power is the one doing the pursuing, it comes off as too desperate or something. In this case he is: from the country, poor, and younger, It just makes Takara’s dismissive attitude and snobbery unpleasant to watch. Also, you know me, =/= obsessive stalker behavior. 

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) ep... - Great, a rich boy studying business at uni, suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I try to catch up next week.

I have a source, but I simply didn’t have time to watch it. So sorry. Too much traveling too much BL to keep up with. A perfect conflation of conflicting priorities.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

64.media.tumblr.com

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up Next!

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return, and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: the premise? Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

8/4 Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please Gaga pick this one up? They made it for US.

8/7 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Weds ????) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sex by blackmail. I am intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs WeTV ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This week's adventures in caption "out of" and "off" are not the same thing. This is an uncomfortable thought.

I'm so tired I'm seeing double. This is all you get.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves) )

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[dumbass-hyperfixations]

I’ve been doing some thinking, and I would really like to see a “B shift” episode. Just like, Ravi and a bunch of firefighter characters we’ve never been introduced to. And the whole episode is just them NOT passing the “firefam bechdel” test, sp the whole episode is just them gossiping about our original fire fam and treating them like a live drama series.

“Oh yeah yeah Chimney! I know him. He’s the guy who survived the rebar through his head a couple of years ago.” “He what.”

“I mean, Eddie seems nice, but that’s only when he’s next to Buck. He’s terrifying otherwise. I heard he used to do underground fighting, and punched a guy so hard he almost died.” “Wait, Eddie Diaz? You sure? He pulled a double shift with me just last week and he was all smiley ranting about the Zoo trip he and Buck took his son on. I’d bet my money on them secretly dating btw. It would make all the sense.” “Whaaaat, no way! I thought they both had girlfriends?” “Did you ever actually see the girlfriends though?” “Huh. No.”

“Omg, Chimney’s wife and kids came by last week, they’re such a cute family.” “Wait, kids, plural?” “Yeah, looks like they adopted another girl!” “Oh no, that’s actually Hen’s daughter. She and her wife unreasonably lost their fostering licence, so Chimney and his wife took her in until it all gets sorted.” “What?? How close are those people?!” “Like, so close, dude.”

“I mean Bobby definitely plays favorites. I used to work with them on the A shift, but that sort of made me transfer to B shift. Nothing was wrong per say, but I just couldn’t figure out if Buck was actually his son or not? Because they’ve got different last names you know? And I didn’t want to ever be responsible if the Captain’s reckless son gets hurt on my watch.” “Oh no, Bobby’s definitely his dad. I think last name thing might be because of the first marriage? Buck probably just kept his mom’s maiden name, it’s not unheard of.”

“Did you know Hen completed med school?” “No, no, she dropped out. Decided it wasn’t for her or something.” “You sure? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her do some crazy medical work in the field before.” “Yeah, she’s just like that.”

“My previous captain played poker with Buck once. Lost so much money that night.” “Really?! He doesn’t seem like a guy that can keep a poker face.”

“How do you not remember Jonah? He worked with us a couple times. He’s the guy who kidnapped Hen and Chimney.” “Oh yeaah. That was messed up.”

“Yo Ravi, you work with the A shift a lot more than us. Settle this for us: Buck and Eddie, dating or friends?” “Divorced.” “DIVORCED?” “Yeah, I think they might get back together soon though. They keep hanging out together, and I don’t think it’s just because of their kid.”

And every time they talk about someone from thw firefam, the scene cuts to that person doing some random stuff on their day off, maybe getting ready for a firefam get-together or sth. I just think it would be neat.

[vidavalor]

*dings the bell* … I’m back.

My Ukrainian friend made potato salad! It has cucumbers, carrots, onion, & canned green peas in it, and it’s absolutely delicious!

Sooo… can I ask what moment/scene you found the most devastating so far? I guess The KissTM is the most popular but I wonder if you’ve spotted something even more heartbreaking?

Hi @procrastiel Much love to you and your Ukrainian friend & please thank her again for me for the recipe as we made it and it was delicious. 💕Hope she's doing well. The KissTM is pretty heartbreaking for sure but I had a couple of moments that I found at least equally as heartbreaking...

The blues below the cut. TW: Depression.

What really got me in S2, in terms of heartbreaking stuff, was the focus on the less "showier" kinds of depression in Aziraphale and Gabriel. I'm not dismissing the amazing Crowley story the show has been telling but it tends to be more overt. The story focusing on depression lingering beneath different types of exteriors-- those who project themselves as being upbeat and/or fine-- was really well-executed and it had moments as devastating to me as the kiss.

The "but that's for professional conjurers only" scene and, in particular, the choices made in Aziraphale's response to Crowley's "my Nefertiti-fooling fellow" response is probably my favorite bit of acting in the series entirely to date. Michael Sheen broke me into little pieces with the way he conveyed a lifetime of pain, depression, anxiety and sleepless nights in Aziraphale's eyes on the "professional conjurers" bit and the smile...

...I love how you literally watch the pain of it all melt off his face at Crowley gently reassuring him and the smile that starts and then becomes just a beam of love he can't keep off his face. It's gorgeous.

It's actually what makes The Final 15 hurt even more, really, I think-- because you know that this is what Aziraphale needed. It's the same core set of problems but he needed 1941!Crowley and he got AlphaCentuari!Crowley because of where they both were at in the moment. It just makes 2.06 even more brutal because it shows you how they do understand each other and how right they are for each other if they could just stop being idiots lol.

I also actually think this is one of the most intimate scenes in the show. It shows a lot of guts on Aziraphale's part to be honest about how he's feeling and that's courage that Aziraphale has in general but was lacking a bit in the present in S2. He lets Crowley in here-- which is the theme of all of it and what he's not doing in S2 very much, especially in 2.06-- and we get a scene where Aziraphale is vulnerable and hurting and trusts Crowley with it and Crowley is there to help him as much as Aziraphale helps Crowley. It's very sweet and romantic but in a heartbreaking way because of how it shows how much pain Aziraphale is carrying around with him all the time. The lovely bit, though, is how it also shows how Crowley knows and is trusted with it. That it all takes place in largely the same space as the mess in 2.06? Gah. Devastating...

The other storyline that broke me was Gabriel. I know not everyone has the empathy for him that I do and he can be a total jerk, no doubt, but I thought he was the best example of the show bringing in other perspectives on life in Heaven/Hell in S2. We had angles like Furfur and Muriel illustrating that life for those not on Earth is lonely, isolating and boring and that many are yearning to live a bit more. Crowley and Aziraphale have not had it easy by any means but we are given characters whose perspective is that they're jealous that Crowley and Aziraphale have at least been able to be on Earth and have one another this whole time, which is more than a lot of other angels and demons can say, and that's fair. Expanding upon the glimpses of Gabriel that we saw in S1 and showing that, really, he's more complicated than we might have expected, was something I both loved and was a bit broken by.

Essentially, S2 shows that Gabriel is actually arguably the worst off character of all of them-- Crowley and Aziraphale included. That he really had no one until Beez is shown on his face so well-- Jon Hamm and Shelley Conn selling Gabriel's depression and how healthy this relationship is in almost no time at all really shows how great they both are. Look at this poor bastard, though, really...

He has the worst job of all of them. The Metatron is really in charge of Heaven-- Gabriel's the pretty face, forced to keep everything going or be killed for disobeying. S2 emphasizes how much he and Beez did what they did at the end of S1 basically at gunpoint-- it was kill or be killed and neither of them have the power to overthrow anything on their own. They have enough power, in the future, to probably help sway some things. Gabriel's always had enough power to make differences where he could and he used it to try to protect people. He can be a judgy jerk but he also fundamentally cares about the people around him and he's been drilled for so long into believing that upholding Heaven is his only purpose and only reason for existence that he's even still mulling over the ghosts of those thoughts when he has his whole gravity crisis in S2, even when he can't remember his name.

This is the bit that got me actually teary, though:

Imagine being thousands of years old and no one's ever given you a present. You don't have a birthday. You don't celebrate holidays. No one's ever protected you or been on your side or even just listened. You don't have any friends because everyone is afraid of you and you have to put up those pretensions to stay alive. The people you spend your entire life with are out for blood-- they'd sooner see you stripped of your sense of self and tossed through the ranks or to Hell and take your seat. Your life is one, long, never-ending meeting with your abusive dad and charming personalities like Michael and Uriel and Sandalphon. For six. thousand. years. Gabriel had never eaten anything before S2. He's never slept. Imagine six thousand years of being the Senior VP of Climb Every Bullshit Mountain without ever having a lunch break or ever going home. It's kind of no wonder that Gabriel spent half of S2 taking a nap-- he's exhausted.

He's not from anywhere. He doesn't even have a desk. Is it any wonder that this poor bastard was already rebelling a bit in S1? That he didn't totally get Earth but he was sneaking down there to get tailored suits made just so he could have something that is his own and taking himself for jogs in the park so he could get away from everyone for awhile? He's vain, sure, yes, but really because his looks are all he has that actually belong to him. It's why Beez gives him a pass on the statue-- because they know that this poor guy doesn't have anybody but them. The humans immortalize him in marble like he's a God and everyone in Heaven and Hell is terrified of him-- and he's been terrified of trying to be real with others because who is he going to trust who won't stab him in the back?

All Gabriel has that is his own are his clothes and Heaven even takes that, too. Beez is the first person who has ever seen Gabriel as a person. Is it any wonder why Gabriel likes and goes to Aziraphale for help? He knows that Aziraphale is the only angel who is both kind and sorta sees him there sometimes. He's the only one who ever seems to consider that Gabriel might exist in there as more than just The Supreme Archangel.

Gabriel's memory loss is actually very much akin to the real world occurrence of retrograde amnesia, which can and does actually happen to people who have undergone traumatic events. (It doesn't happen all the time but it's also not as rare as you'd think it might be.) The mind shuts down in such a way as to intentionally forget everything related to the trauma in order to protect itself and that can sometimes result in a loss of identity. The forgetting, though, also frees Gabriel because when he can no longer recall the fascist system of Heaven that has been harming him for so long, the actual self that he's been repressing and hiding shows up.

I see a lot of people talk about Jim as if he's a separate entity from Gabriel and he's really not-- he's Gabriel without the self-protective airs that Gabriel puts on. Jim is really not much different from glasses-free Crowley-- they have the same approach to self-preservation. It turns out, when he's free from the toxic masculinity hellscape that is Heaven, Gabriel likes hot chocolate and tiny dinners and bookselling and is emotionally available and mindfully curious about everything. He's a lot of fun and he cares about his friends and is grateful to have them. He's still a snarky bitch sometimes but so is Crowley lol so... That Gabriel was so miserable before, though, I thought was really pretty heartbreaking.

Now that I've depressed you, we'll leave on the sweeter note of Gabriel torturing some humans to romance Beez...

[halemerry]

On Aziraphale, Protection, and the Greater Good

Alright folks. I’ve already written quite a bit about the ways the Metatron was trying to manipulate Aziraphale here, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due and talk a little bit about how I don’t think that necessarily means it worked nearly as well as the Metatron thinks it does.

Because Aziraphale? Is not stupid. It’s one of his defining traits that though he might occasionally be slow, he has always been intelligent. He has also always been a fighter. And a bit stubborn. And though the fact he is allowed to be all that and still stay soft is one of my favorite things about him, that does not mean he is soft and soft alone.

With or without Crowley, Aziraphale has nearly always been a character who, above all else, does what’s right. This is part of what Crowley loves about him and it’s part about what we as the audience love about him too. He shelters a demon on the wall he is meant to be guarding. He gives away a sword to humans and lies to God about it directly to Her face. He struggles immensely with being asked to do anything he cannot reconcile with his morals and, even if he might fight against his impulses as to what’s right for a little bit, when push comes to shove he almost always falls on the right side of that scale. It’s important especially that this is also true of him even without Crowley in the equation.

Now, Crowley makes it much easier for him to be this person. He encourages and enables Aziraphale to be himself. He complicates and challenges Aziraphale’s worldview but in a healthy way that helps him grow and develop it, but never forces Az to be someone he isn’t. He also, most importantly, gives Aziraphale someone he understands. He is a connection. And a connection that allows Aziraphale to take his time and to make the excuses he needs to, at least for a little while. Because he understands that while Aziraphale is slow to change, he is not as resistant to it as he often reads to be - especially when he thinks that change can benefit the greater good.

Because Aziraphale fundamentally loves Earth and the people on it. And he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Crowley does too. Not taking an opportunity he has to help someone has never sat well with him - even if that person is a naked Gabriel showing up on his doorstep. He does not run away with Crowley in season 1 because it would have been wrong to run away when he felt he could help and the same principle applies here too with the decision he comes to about the Metatron’s offer.

While I definitely think the Metatron was using lovebombing and other manipulation techniques on Aziraphale I highly suspect he is underestimating his new Supreme Archangel. And I highly suspect that what is happening here is not Aziraphale folding back into this own cult as much as much a few other things that could be happening.

I may poke around at a few more of these later but for now I want to focus on Aziraphale lied theory laid out here by @las-lus. This whole season has focused quite a bit on Aziraphale lying/using sleight of hand for Crowley's sake. It makes sense he would do this too to protect him from the Metatron and critically I don’t think it’s an accident that the only shot we get of his conversation with the Metatron are flashbacks from Aziraphale's narrative point of view. Reading this actually changed the whole trajectory of this meta so please take a look at it if you've got the chance! I really love this theory a lot and would've slapped this all on a reblog if it wasn't so big. (Though I'll be the first to admit I'm biased to anything that lets Aziraphale do some rescuing.)

At it's core this makes this action a protective one. He is a guardian given a flaming sword by God. He was built to protect. And we see him in this role throughout the series even if it's not always in the way we expect or in the way he was necessarily built for.

I want to start before the beginning. This scene is an important one for a lot of reasons, but for the context of this the important bit is that Aziraphale is already anxious. He’s a bit starstruck and a little baffled by the strange angel he’s stumbled into chatting with, but his primary focus in the meat of this scene is actually concern for this stranger's welfare. The instant the topic turns critical he immediately starts glancing around anxiously. This scene ends with him saying, "I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." and giving us one of the most worried expressions I've ever seen on his face.

Then again at Eden, the first time we meet Aziraphale, we are shown him acting twice in a row for the sake of keeping others safe. We see him offer Crowley shelter from the storm and also give away his God given weapon to protect Adam and Eve. A lot of people tie Crowley to Eden for obvious reason but I think people often forget that, yes, without Crowley humans don't leave Eden but without Aziraphale they do not survive it.

We then see him in conflict over the Flood. As far as we know he doesn't act here but he quite clearly thinks it is wrong. He's high strung and tense and his attempts to rebuke Crowley's frustration feels more like him trying to convince himself.

Now we get to Job. This minisode is so fascinating to me for a lot of reasons because through most of it, against pattern, we have Aziraphale as the driving force throughout it. First we get Aziraphale checking in with Heaven to make sure there wasn't some official solution to this. (We also get a line in there that I think says a lot about Aziraphale's priorities when he specifically draws attention to his concerns for Sitis being old enough birth that many times would be hard and risky.) Once Heaven fails him here Aziraphale is the one to reach out to Crowley and Aziraphale is the one to press for them to work together. He takes a gamble, hoping that his instinct that Crowley does not want to hurt kids is accurate, and gets up in Crowley's face to challenge him when Crowley refuses to prove him right. It is not Crowley taking the lead here, bringing Aziraphale in but rather Aziraphale trusting his owns instincts are right.

Aziraphale is also crucially the one constructing the charade Crowley plays in front of the angels as Bildad the cobbler/midwife. Aziraphale immediately and without hesitation provides Crowley with the pieces he needs to make the lie convincing enough. He tells him that what they need is an expert on human births and Crowley rolls with it and then clarifies very quickly that Gabriel witnessed Eve's birth, signaling to Crowley that mimicking that would be the play.

He is trying to tip the scales to get the outcome he wants - to keep this family safe - before he ever utters a lie. And then he does. He lies directly, giving his word as an angel. This is an act that eats him alive inside. He literally thinks he has fallen for this and has perfectly resigned himself as being damned to Hell for it and does it anyway. Because he knows it was right. Because he thinks a family of five he has no real connection to are worth falling to protect.

By the time we hit the Globe in 1601 Aziraphale's primary objection to their Arrangement has evolved from concern about what Head Office will think into concern specifically for Crowley's safety.

Then in 1827, even if it's in a misguided way, his concern starts out on Elspeth and her soul. He tries to protect her and very quickly changes his tune as soon as he's given proper evidence that what she was doing was net good. Again he is the one driving most of this narrative and the duo's actions forward as Crowley drifts along trying to get him to see that some actions aren't fully good or bad but can exist in a moral gray space. We also get him verbalizing his own moral code here explicitly when he wants to heal Morag.

He continues to have concern for Crowley on the forefront of his mind - asking very quickly after his good deed for Elspeth if he's safe or if hell noticed and then a few years later denies Crowley holy water out of concern that it could destroy him.

In 1941 we first get him operating under cover trying to unsuccessfully lie his way into dispatching some Nazi. We then get him offering himself as a magician for Crowley's sake and using sleight of hand to keep evidence of their relationship from making its way to Hell.

In particular I want to draw attention here to the fact the episode we revisit this moment in has two very similar moments toward the beginning and end of it. This episode opens with what the episode is named for - Shax hitching a ride with Aziraphale. He's relatively amicable with her until she at one point implies harm to Crowley wondering out loud why he would risk destruction for Az. Then toward the end when Furfur enters the dressing room, Aziraphale is pleasant and kind until the moment it becomes clear Crowley is being threatened. In both cases his expression turns more neutral and his body language becomes more focused and serious. He is ready to protect at all costs and is done being polite to these people who threaten his demon.

From there we go to 1976. Here as he hears about Crowley's holy water heist, he makes a choice. Even though he does not want Crowley having this weapon at all and tells Crowley as much that that position hasn't changed he realizes how dangerous trying to steal it could be. So he decides to make it as safe as he can in the circumstance, putting aside his own wants and feelings for the sake of minimizing even potential harms.

Even good old 'you go too fast for me' is a form of protection here. Even if it hurts and even if it's not want they want they need at least one of them to pump the breaks to make sure they are not discovered.

Then the world nearly ends. I won't examine what happens there too closely but I think we can all agree Aziraphale was willing to do quite a lot to insure the world and Crowley were safe once Crowley gets him on board with raising Warlock. Though I do want to note I don't think it's an accident that a lot of what Aziraphale says to Crowley at the end of six has echos of the bandstand - the last event Aziraphale has to reference that he knew would make Crowley go away.

A lot of the core of the current season is built around all sorts of protective Aziraphale actions. The flashbacks all gesture at it in some capacity, and anther notable one is him sacrificing books both as weaponry and to make the ball happen. He has committed to securing their safety before a single demon even shows up looking for Gabriel. We also get him willingly risking war to defend the people in his shop. Episode six in particular shows us a lot of Aziraphale in this mode, which he's pretty much locked into from the moment the demons arrive, Whether it's protecting Gabriel, Nina and Maggie, or at one point putting his body between the demons and a whole crowd of people including Crowley.

This season is a season that emphasizes that Aziraphale is a liar. It is one that draws attention to him pulling tricks and on him learning to do that for the greater good. It it about him learning that sometimes the choices we make are often more morally gray than we would like. And most importantly it is about Aziraphale believing this world and the people in it are worth protecting.

And who does he want to keep safe more than anyone? Who did he fight to share his life with? It makes sense to me that he would do this for Crowley. It's perfectly in character and gives Aziraphale the due credit I think a lot of theories lack. Because, to me, Aziraphale isn't the one that walks away from Omelas, Aziraphale is the child who would willfully sacrifice himself to keep the people he loves safe.

[jasntodds]

Penance [8]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 5,400

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, tiny bit of angst, fluff, mentions of death

Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: I honestly just needed a little bit of a break from writing lol Anyway this has one of my favorite scenes in it and it's because it's cute and not angst for once lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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You wake up with your alarm a few hours later. You're still drowsy in your eyes but your mind is wide awake, knowing you're going to see Jason today. And unlike the last week, this makes you smile from ear to ear with excitement and nerves. You aren’t under any obligation this time. Tim is gone and it’s just you and him. You aren’t training or patrolling. You're going shopping and working on his home. It feels normal.

You change three times before deciding on jeans and a Wayne Enterprises shirt, mostly because you expect to get dirty and you don’t want to ruin one of the shirts you actually like. Though, you hate admitting the WE shirt fits nicely and it’s a good color.

When you walk into the kitchen, Molly is seated with a sandwich on a plate and her laptop open. Molly's eyes glance up to you before she goes back to her work. You start kicking on a pair of Converse before you break the silence.

“I had sex with Jason last night.” You blurt out.

Molly shoots her attention back to you and blinks a few times. “You what?” Molly asks, unsure if she heard that right.

“I had sex with Jason.” You repeat as you get your second shoe on.

“Of course, you did.” Molly lets out a sigh and that's when she sees the hint of bruises that are very clearly hickies sticking out from the collar of your shirt.

You finally look back to Molly, brows tugging together. “Fuck you?” You question.

Molly leans back to stretch, as if preparing herself for the story you'll have. “You two can’t control yourselves.” Molly rolls her shoulders.

“Well—“ You suck in a breath. “Yeah…” You let out a sigh with a small grin. “Just thought I’d tell you.”

Molly sucks in a deep breath, pushing her laptop an inch away from her. “How did you manage to sleep with him?”

“Well, okay so Dick had this whole thing where we had to spar with blindfolds on, right?” You start and Molly gives you a nod. “Well, we took it up a notch at the Manor and we’d shut all the lights off and we’d have to spar and disarm each other but we’d also have to find each other using anything but our sight. Good practice. Well, we did that last night and then…”

“Something about you two hunting each other in the dark does it for the two of you?” Molly quips.

You offer Molly a quick glare before you cross your arms. “At this point, would it shock you?”

“No.” Molly sighs honestly.

“Exactly but no.” You scoff. “We were joking like we always do, yelling at each other through the dark, ya know? And then he fucking hid before a window so I had to step into the light and we sparred there and then…I don’t know.” You shrug before you lean on the wall beside you, shifting your weight to your left foot. “I just…kissed him.”

Molly nods her head. “And then?”

“He kissed me back and one thing led to another and we said it was a one-time thing.” You gesture a hand out haphazardly.

Molly lets out a groan and while she adores the both of you, she has to wonder how two people can be so stubborn in their ways. If you want to fall into something again, that's fine but Molly can't wrap her head around the logic the two of you are using to justify your silence around each other. The two of you like to overcomplicate your own feelings when it doesn't have to be that complicated.

"What?" You question, pulling out your phone to see a text from Jason saying he's on his way.

“Do you honestly believe this is a one-time thing?” Molly asks with a bite in her voice.

“No.” You say quietly.

“Do you want it to be a one-time thing?”

“No.”

“So fucking tell him.” Molly urges.

“I-I can’t.” You shake your head. "Not yet." Your eyes go to the floor before they find their way back to Molly. “What if he leaves again?” You ask quietly, your voice falling small.

Molly's shoulders slouch forward. "Just because of what you guys do, doesn't mean it has to end that way." Molly states softly and she does believe it. She knows what you do is dangerous and maybe one of you won't come home, but that isn't guaranteed.

"That's not what I mean." You shake your head quickly. "He died, yeah and that's a whole..." You suck in a breath. "That's a thing but then...he came back and he still left me standing on a rooftop. I begged him to not leave and then he did." You let out a sigh as you look back to the floor. "So, maybe things get too hard and he leaves again. On purpose. At least...at least if he dies it's because it's part of the job, greater good."

"He left to protect you." Molly states. "I know there's more to it because he never had to work with Crane, he could have talked to Dick, there were things he could've done. But, bottom line is that he left to protect you, not because he wanted to."

"Right, yeah, but Jason Todd tends to believe he's the worst person to walk the face of the earth." You push off of the wall with a breath. "I don't know. It's like...I want to tell him and then I think of another reason not to." You shake your head, checking the time on your phone before you pocket it again. "Want it to be right, don't want to scare him off, I don't wanna leave him." You chew the inside of your cheek. "I just want it to be right next time."

Molly nods with understanding and if she were being honest, she can't imagine your point of view of standing on the roof with Jason. You don't ask people to stay. You don't stay too often. For you to beg him and him to leave anyway, Molly can only imagine the devastation that ripped through you.

"So...what do you want to do then?" Molly asks.

You let out a soft laugh. "Honestly, I don't know but as long I'm with him...I think I'm okay with whatever it is. I'll get over it, ya know?" You nod. "Uh...Jason is getting me an appointment with Leslie so...maybe I'll just ask her and maybe...maybe I'll take some advice."

"Even if she tells you to talk to him?"

You let out a groan as a smile pulls at your lips. "It would be the right thing to do."

"It would." Molly agrees with a laugh. "For what it's worth, you've looked happier the last week than you have in over a month."

You feel heat rush over your cheeks. "He still makes me very happy." You scrunch your nose. "So, anyway, I will have a conversation with him soon but for now, just know last night was fun and I'm going to Home Depot to help him fix up his place."

Molly lets out a laugh. “Oh? You moving out?”

“Shut up, no.” You laugh softly. “Just helping him.”

Molly rolls her eyes with a smile, mentally making a note of the date because she's willing to bet you'll be back living with Jason within a few months of his place being finished.

"If you say so." Molly quips as she pulls the laptop back to her.

"Are you kicking me out?" You offer a fake pout as you make your way to the door.

"No." Molly chortles. "I just know you two."

"That's fair." You laugh back. "Okay, I'll be back later." You wave quickly before heading out of the door, locking it behind you.

By the time you exit the apartment building, Jason is already there. A black sports car is parked against the curb while Jason is leaning against the passenger door, looking at his phone with one hand in his pocket. A smile tugs at your lips seeing him. Jason catches a glimpse of the doors opening and you walking out from the tops of his eyes.

“Wayne Enterprises?” Jason chortles as he looks your way.

“Fuck off.” You threaten as you close the distance between you. “Figured we’d get dirty and I don’t wanna ruin a shirt I like...unlike you.” You look him up and down. He's wearing a black leather jacket, one you always said looked good on him and a pair of black jeans.

"I'm gonna change when we get back." Jason quips back.

You point to the car. “Bruce?”

“Yeah.” Jason looks to the car and back to you. “He’s back in town today, said I could borrow it long as I didn’t do anything stupid.” Jason lets out a laugh, shaking his head. “You could talk to him.” He suggests, trying to play it casual.

Jason knows Bruce is not exactly your favorite person but he would like for you to talk to him. Jason forgives him for everything and a lot of your anger towards Bruce is because of Jason. Bruce means a lot to him and you mean a lot to him. He just wants you to get along and Bruce said he's willing to talk with you and try to smooth things over. Jason won't say it, but it would mean a lot if the two of you could get along and get to a good place.

You quirk a brow at him, almost a look of disgusted confusion plastering itself across your features. “What?”

“Could talk to him.” Jason repeats himself.

“No.” You scoff. “Why would I do that?”

The way you see it, you have nothing to say to him. You warned him about Jason and the Joker and then Jason died because Bruce wouldn't listen. All Bruce had to do was listen to Jason, listen to you, or anyone and he didn't. Then after his death, he was still referring to it like it was some sort of war and Jason was a soldier, a sacrifice for a good cause as if he wasn't his son. Your fists ball at your sides the argument replaying in your head.

Jason shakes his head. “I did.”

“Because he’s your dad.” You state. “He’s always been…” You trail off trying to find the right way to phrase it because you want to say something about Bruce weaponizing two of the most important people to you and something about him getting Jason killed which spiraled into the effect of Dick and Tim getting killed. You want to tell him details of your arguments after he died but that would be cruel. “Not that to me.”

“He’s trying.” Jason states and he knows that if he wants to be with you, which he does, it would be a whole lot easier if you and Bruce got along. “Not fucking perfect or some shit, but…trying.”

“I’m glad he’s trying, Jay. Honest.” You nod as your eyes go soft. “I just don’t have anything to say to him.” You pull in a breath.

Jason knows getting you to sit down and have a conversation with Bruce is not going to be easy. You can hold a grudge better than anyone Jason has ever met. But, he knows it's all still a little fresh for you. He hopes after a little more time you can talk to him. Jason thinks you'd actually get along if you would give him a real chance but he also knows that's a lot easier said than done. If roles were reversed, Jason wouldn't be so forgiving either.

“You’re still using his credit card.” Jason chuckles.

“I’m mad at him, not stupid.” You let out a laugh.

“Just get in the car.” Jason states as he opens the passenger side for you.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” You smile softly at him. “Thank you.”

The two of you head to Home Depot, Jason having made a list for supplies on his phone. You mostly get things like tools and drywall. You grab some outlet covers and plywood for some of the floors. Most of the house really isn’t in too bad of shape. It mostly needs a good clean and some paint. It’s only a handful of spots that need actual work done but it is nice you get to do this together.

After you get back, you get right to work working on the spare room. The drywall in that room needs to be replaced so you work on that before Jason moves onto some of the plumbing in one of the bathrooms, you taking it upon yourself to get to cleaning some of the upstairs. Jason plays a mixed playlist through the speakers, one he still has on his Spotify from when you were dating. It contains all of both of your favorite songs.

A few hours into it, Jason places an order for some food and once it’s delivered, the two of you take your seats in the main hallway downstairs, sitting on the floor. Jason sits with one leg tugged to his chest, eating his burger while you're seated cross-legged, eating the same as his just without the onion.

“Are you gonna paint?” You ask, looking around at the white walls.

“Walls are grimy as fuck.” Jason says with a mouth full of food. “Probably.”

You give him a grin. “You should paint one wall r—“

“I’m not painting the walls fucking red.” Jason lets out a booming laugh as he tilts his head back.

“But! It’s your color!” You cheer, the smile vibrant and happy. “Come on, it’ll look good! Just one wall.” Your eyes are wide and soft, cheerful and playful. Jason thinks he’s going to melt into the floor. He’d do anything to have you look at him like that all the time.

“Fine.” Jason agrees before stuffing a fry into his mouth. “One wall but I pick the shade.”

“Okay.” You beam, looking down at your food with a warm chest. You look back up to him before eating one of his fries, Jason blinking at you. That’s why he ordered a large instead of a medium. “And you should paint one wall blue.” You chime with a cheeky grin. “My blue, not Dick’s.” You laugh softly.

Jason bursts into a fit of laughter. “That’s a bit far, huh?” Jason questions.

“No! You have a wall and I have a wall! I’m helping so I think that’s only fair.” You bat your eyelashes at him with a toothy smile.

“So you think you get a whole damn wall cause you’re helping me fucking clean?”

“And because I’m your favorite vigilante!” You laugh and Jason thinks you're even cuter than you've ever been.

Happy looks good on you.

“Right.” Jason nods his head, resting his arm over his knee to lean in a bit. “And what makes you think that?”

“Well, it’s not Batman.” You chortle. “It’s not Dick because even if it were, you’d rather have a lobotomy than ever admit it. It’s not Conner because you don’t really know him well. It’s not Rachel. It’s not Superman just because he’s friends Bruce so on principle alone, it can’t be him.” You explain as Jason laughs.

Sam thinks he's laughed more in the last few minutes than he ever has. She'd do anything to keep him this happy.

Happy looks good on him.

“How many times have you thought about this?” Jason questions as he furrows his brows, a teasing grin pulling at his lips.

“Clearly, too many.” You suck in a breath. “I don’t really have a good reason for any other vigilante that I don’t know but I know it’s not them. So, really, I think my only competition is Kory and Gar because Kory is a badass and I mean…Gar.” You explain as you furrow your brows before your eyes soften at him with a gentle smile. “I still think I’m your favorite.”

Of course you are.

“All good points but you haven’t explained how you’re my favorite.” Jason teases you.

“Well, I let you sleep with me.” You fire back as Jason bursts into more laughter.

“That doesn’t fucking count.” Jason argues.

“Fine fine fine.” You shake your head. “Um…you trained me which you hold a lot of pride in.” You state. “You like my suit, clearly cause we both have hoods now. Half my damn name is literally yours.” You widen your eyes at him as you tilt your head side to side. “Because I’m your favorite.” You state with pride.

Jason shakes his head, his heart turning into a puddle of mush. He’s so in love with you. “Fine, you’ll be my favorite when I’m yours.” Jason teases back.

“Who says you’re not my favorite?” You argue.

“Krypto.” Jason answers without skipping a beat.

You tilt your head, laughing and it takes everything in him not to kiss you. “Yeah…he’s such a good boy!” You shake your head, taking another one of Jason’s fries. “You’re my second favorite though.”

Jason shakes his head. “Why?” He asks.

“Trying to get me to fill your ego?”

Jason gives you a cheeky smirk. “Can’t help myself.”

“Because you’re Jason Todd.” You answer simply. “That’s why you’re my favorite, not counting Krypto.”

Jason’s brows furrow. “What’s that mean?”

You shrug a shoulder. “Too many reasons list. You’re my favorite because you’re you.” You know it sounds a little like a copout but it's true. Jason Todd is your favorite person no matter the suit or lack thereof. It's always that simple to you.

Jason looks down, pushing the container of fries so it’s more in the middle of you. “One wall.” Jason looks back to you with a soft smile.

“Really?” You ask with hope in your eyes and Jason thinks he’d let you paint the whole place any color you wanted at this point.

“Gonna be here all the damn time anyway, right?” Jason asks.

It hasn't felt so lonely with you being around and it's not just because he's not alone physically. He never feels lonely when you're around. He feels at ease with you around and happy. He hopes you keep coming around even after you finish the house.

“Probably.” You nod quickly. “Yeah.” Your cheeks burn knowing it's true. Even if you won't intend to be around all the time, it is bound to happen if the pattern continues. Though, by the grin on his lips and the airiness of his voice, you don't think he minds. It always feels more like home when you're with him.

“Guess I could spare a few walls for you.” Jason offers a soft smile.

“Awfully nice of you, Jay.”

“I can be nice.” Jason finishes off his burger.

"You have your moments." You smile softly at him before scrunching your nose and taking another fry.

Over the next few days, the two of you continue cleaning and getting the home ready. It feels normal and happy. For once, it feels like the two of you don't have to have a care in the world as you work. And you don't even wonder what it would be like if you were actually together because you both know it would be just like this.

You're picking out an overall shade of the house and helping him pick out furniture, something he thinks would have happened anyway. Jason stocks shared food and drinks for the two of you and he says it's just because you've been helping him and you'll be by a lot anyway. It's not a big deal. You share the space without ever slapping a label on it and it feels comfortable.

Jason has also had his appointment with Leslie, asking her about you. She called you after Jason's appointment and now you have an appointment for the following week. You aren't too thrilled about it but if Jason is saying it's helping, the least you can do is try. Asking Jason to try all those months ago but not doing it yourself, makes you a hypocrite. You owe it to yourself.

The last few days have been nice and pretty easy but you're getting ready to leave your apartment now and Molly is standing in your doorway, watching you.

"Where are you going? You just got back and you don't patrol this early." Molly states as she watches you shove your backpack onto your back.

"Just out." You shrug your shoulders. "I'll be back in time for patrol." You go to walk past her but Molly blocks you.

"Where do you go when do this? Jason found you in an alley—"

"Is it a crime to go on a walk?" You question.

"It is for you, yes." Molly answers back. "You also always do it whenever something is wrong. Did something happen with Jason today?" Molly asks as you watch her face fall.

You put your hands on Molly's shoulders. "Nothing happened with Jason. We did what we usually do, worked on the house. I just have something I have to do." You close your eyes, knowing Molly isn't going to get off your back. "It just has to do with the case we're working. It's nothing, okay? I'm almost done anyway." You gesture for Molly to move.

Molly would never approve of what you're doing. Molly would tell Jason and then you'd tell Gar and Dick, next thing you would know you'd be sat in an intervention about your own self-destruction. They'd lecture about how unsafe it is and you're just punishing yourself, there are other ways. You're nearly rolling your eyes at the very thought of hearing the lecture. Even when you would defend yourself, they wouldn't believe it were just for the case. It just seems like a giant headache and a waste of time so you keep your mouth shut to Molly.

Molly moves slowly out of the way. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Nothing." You groan, not turning around to face her. "I'll be back after patrol." You state before you slide your shoes on.

"Are you in trouble?" Molly's voice grows small and quiet.

You look back to her. "No." You answer simply. "It's fine." You let out a sigh. "I'll be back." You open the door and leave without another word.

Molly watches the door close and she knows she shouldn't, but she reaches for her phone anyway. You've been better about not keeping secrets ever since you looped Molly into the vigilante world. You keeping this secret while offering next to nothing, has rubbed Molly the wrong way. Maybe if you kept your phone on, Molly wouldn't worry as much but considering you have a real fear of being kidnapped, Molly knows it's taking a lot for you to shut your phone off. It means you're up to something no one will approve of. So, she calls Jason.

"Wanna do me another favor?" Molly asks as soon as Jason picks up.

"I'm not hunting her down again, Molly." Jason says, knowing immediately what Molly was gonna ask.

Molly lets out a groan as she plops down at the kitchen table. "Look, I think she got herself into some trouble."

Jason closes his eyes but he knows you're someone who wants to handle your own trouble on your own and will, inevitably get in over your head. "What do you mean?" Jason caves.

Molly pauses for a few seconds trying to figure out how she can explain this to Jason without sounding paranoid. She's hoping his care for you will work in her favor.

"She goes out randomly, won't tell me, shuts off her phone, and today she did say it had to do with the case she's working." Molly explains.

The only weird thing in that entire sentence is your phone but Jason doesn't think that's enough of a reason. He's been doing this whole thing longer than both of you and sometimes, getting intel means it's gotta be kept quiet to everyone. If it has to do with the case, Jason's betting that's what you're doing, maybe don't want Molly involved to protect her. From where Jason is sitting, it actually seems pretty normal.

Jason lets out a sigh. "That's not a fucking reason to hunt her down." Jason states. "I'm not going. We're in a good place and I don't wanna fuck that up. I can't go stalking her around Gotham cause you're fucking worried she might be doing something weird."

"I know." Molly sighs in defeat. "I worry about you guys." Molly confesses. "Last time, please?" Molly pleads with him.

Jason gets up from his spot at the computers with a sigh. "You gotta get used to it, Molly." Jason states, keeping his voice level. "Worrying and shit, that's just part of it."

"I know." Molly nods her head. "Can't you just see where she's going?" Molly looks to the floor and lets out a breath. "I won't ask again unless I have a better reason."

Jason looks at his gear before he looks to the ceiling, knowing you're going to rip him a new one. "When did she leave?"

"Ten minutes ago."

"If she goes all Acid Fingers on me, I'm sending her to you." Jason states.

Molly smiles on the other end. "I can handle her."

Jason gets ready in his Red Hood gear, feeling a little guilty for agreeing to do this again. But, this will be the last time and he figures he'll just let you know about Molly's worrying so you can loop her in. Jason knows you're probably fine. You're smart and resourceful, if you get into trouble with whatever you're doing, you probably have some sort of backup plan for help. He's just doing this for Molly even if her worrying is rubbing off on him as he exits his building.

It takes him about fifteen minutes to find you. It's like he told Molly, you're a creature of habit. He found you near the alley you were in last time. Jason takes a roof of a nearby building and maybe this is wrong. You're perfectly fine, clearly, you're having a conversation with some man in a suit but the conversation doesn't look to be going sideways. You're fine but Jason decides to sit up on the roof and wait it out anyway. He doesn't listen in, he just watches a bit. At the end of the day, you're still meeting up with a random guy in an alley. You're paranoid on a good day, so that's weird. That's what Jason tells himself to justify his spying on you.

Once the man walks out of the alley, Jason uses his grappling hook to make his way down to you. The movement gathers attention and you immediately grab a knife from your pocket as you look up. Instead of something horrible, you see Jason. Your grip loosens as you roll your eyes. The annoyance isn't directed at him because Jason doesn't stalk you unless he's given a reason. The reason seems always to be Molly.

"What're you doing?" You question once Jason is standing with his feet on the ground.

"Who was that?" Jason asks, nodding his head towards the end of the alley where the man walked off.

"Jealous?" You quip as you cross your arms over your chest.

You can't see it, but Jason deadpans behind the helmet. "Of that fuck?" Jason scoffs. "Fuck no." Jason scans you over and you look fine, other than mildly annoyed.

Despite the annoyance, there is a part of you that does appreciate him checking in on you. You know Molly sent him and even if Jason was certain you were fine, he did it to put Molly at ease which is nice. If you were in Jason's shoes, you'd be doing the same thing so you can't get too mad at him. If you were being honest, you can't get too mad at Molly either.

"So?" You raise your brows and gesture a hand out to him, waiting for him to give you an explanation.

"Don't shoot the messenger." Jason puts his hands up in defense.

You roll your eyes. "Molly, really?"

"She's worried about you." Jason states, the voice modulator hiding a tint of worry in his own voice.

"I'm fine, Red." You gesture a hand over yourself. "See?"

You make a mental note to have a sit down with Molly because you can't be asking Jason to track you down whenever she's worried. What Molly doesn't understand is that you and Jason are both prepared for when something goes wrong. Molly knows you have your failsafes but that doesn't seem to put her mind at ease very much. The more you're thinking about it, knowing Jason has one doesn't put you at much ease either.

Jason nods his head but he's not willing to let it rest. "Can't fucking blame her when you're the one being ominous as fuck about what you're doing."

"I'm just getting some intel." You state casually. "It's really not a big deal."

If it weren't a big deal, you would tell Molly. Jason knows there has to be more to it. You're being too secretive about it but it's not exactly his place to badger you about it. It's your case, not his even if you agreed you'd kind of work your cases together. It's still yours and you were trained the same way he was. He's just worried about you and now he knows how you felt when he was Robin. It's not fun worrying about the person you care about all the time.

"You sure that's all it is?" Jason questions and receives a nod from you. "Why not tell Molly?"

You shrug softly and you really don't have an answer outside of the truth. "Um...it's not...the same case I've been working." You confess and Jason's stomach starts to twist.

"What the hell did you get into?" Jason nearly demands as worry starts to tug at his bones.

You close some of the distance between you, lightly grabbing his forearms in your hands. "Nothing, I swear. It's not anything bad or dangerous." You urge as your eyes meet the whites of his helmet. "I know that sounds like bullshit but I promise, it's not."

Jason's eyes are scanning over your features and you're not lying to him but somehow that doesn't reassure him. You not being in danger should rid the anxiety wanting to melt from his flesh but all he does is grow more confused.

"Not very reassuring." Jason quips.

You chew the inside of your cheek as you drop your hands. "Can you trust me, please?" You plead with him and you can't see it, but his features soften under the helmet.

"You get into any shit, you'll tell me, right?" Jason asks.

You nod and offer him a soft smile. "Yeah, of course but it's not that kind of case. I'll tell you when I can, promise." You nod again and your smile seems to turn sad.

"Alright." Jason sighs.

"I always have my knives and if I'm ever in a bad enough situation, I will burn someone. I got it."

Jason nods and he rests a hand on your hip lightly. "Sorry for stalking you." A chuckle leaves his lips.

"Yeah, you weirdo." You snicker. "It's okay. I'd do the same." You beam up at him, getting you a laugh from Jason.

"You would." Jason quips back. Jason swallows thickly. "Hey, are you sure you couldn't talk to the Bat?"

You shake your head as if doing a double take. "Why do you want me to talk to him so bad?"

Jason shrugs trying his best to play it off as something that doesn't matter too much. "You two not getting along is bound to cause a problem, rather not deal with it."

"I don't have anything to say to him, Red." You urge once more and the very thought of talking to Bruce makes you want to scream.

"Is it because of what happened?" Jason asks.

"No." You answer honestly. "There's more. I don't wanna get into it." You pull in a breath and you wish you could see his face. "I'm sorry but...I can't."

You can't see it, but Jason's face falls into something between disappointment and defeat.

"It's alright, worth a shot." Jason clears his throat and you feel the guilt bubbling into your throat. "Meet up for food later?" Jason changes subject.

"Always." You nod quickly, offering a small smile that never reaches your eyes. "Two?"

"Meet you at Excellent Gotham? I'll pick something up."

"Sounds good." You beam up at him. "Be careful, Red." Your eyes narrow slightly before you scrunch your nose. "I'm gonna go home to get read and I'll be out."

"Want an escort?" Jason offers with a subtle squeeze to your hip.

"I'm okay, but thank you." You smile softly at him before you pull away. "Okay, I'll meet you at two. I'll text you." You grin back at him before you spin on your heels and head down the end of the alley.

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[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#43: The Good Life (1.05)

gif cred: @nerd4music

The vibes of this whole sequence are so good. The good life truly. 🤩And Say Yes has always been a comfort ep for me, so I love that this montage has such Say Yes energy and parallels. If ever I need a pick-me-up this tranquil series of clips from Richonne's road-trip home will lift my spirits every time. I love the way this montage depicts that in finding each other again, Richonne refound the best, most at peace parts of themselves 😌...

So after that teaser with Father Gabriel, we get our babies back on screen. And it hit me that Episode 5 is the first time there are even scenes that don't feature Rick and Michonne. In episodes 1-4 of TOWL, Rick, Michonne, or both are on screen in every single scene apart from that one episode 2 teaser. Which I was very much in support of this as a long-time card-carrying member of the Give-Richonne-More-Screentime ministry. 😊

After how excellent the plot, pacing, and dialogue were in episode 4, I will say that ep 5 & 6 are a bit clunkier in those areas to me. But one thing is for sure, the Richonne content in ep 5 & 6 is still solid gold.

While these last two eps are ranked lower than episodes 1-4 for me, the good moments in these last two episodes aren't just good, they're great and include some genuinely Top 10 worthy Richonne scenes. So we definitely have to break it all down.😇👌🏽

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

The montage starts with that yellow truck turning the corner and then they just get right into the good vibes and romance as we see Richonne calmly driving.

I love that they use 'The Good Life' by Tony Bennett to set the mood. Rick and Michonne both just look so relaxed and happy and it’s super refreshing to see. 🥰

gif cred: @msanonships

After everything they’d gone through thus far it was so nice to arrive at a point where Rick and Michonne are back in sync and as connected as ever.

I love the way Rick seems so content and peaceful with his hand out the window. Michonne has that man feeling on top of the world again. 😋 And then it’s so sweet the way he looks over at Michonne and the way she smiles back at him while driving. All is well with their soul and mine. 😌

Then we get one of my favorite Richonne actions ever when Rick takes her hand and kisses it. 🥹 It’s perfect.

I love the lingering depth of this hand kiss and that it’s such an illustration of how much Rick loves and cherishes Michonne. It was another soul kiss. And you can just tell how much peace Michonne brings Rick. She’s like his medicine. The cure to his anxiety and to his life. 👌🏽

gif cred: @msanonships

Something I so appreciate about Richonne is how every moment like this feels like such an organic outpouring of love in their hearts. And it feels like it’s the exact thing they both needed. Like Rick is offering Michonne so much love with this hand kiss but you can tell it’s also for him too, because she brings him so much peace and happiness and calms any anxiety he might have about really being able to break away from the CRM this time and go home.

This might be the furthest Rick has got in terms of actually breaking free from the CRM and heading home. I know he knows it has everything to do with Michonne that they’re making it this far and actually going to get home this time because they can do anything together.

I appreciate how this hand kiss is just one of the many ways Rick’s romantic heart so naturally wants to show his love and that Michonne is so receptive to it. Like the way she looks at him while he kisses her hand. They really know how to make the love they have for each other leap off the screen. And I know she knows that her Rick is fully back by him doing this.

The song lyrics that play say “don’t try to fake romance” and truly this is just giving authentic romance. Richonne's hand kisses in Say Yes were always so incredibly sweet to me so I love that we have another precious one to add to the list.

I also love that now that Rick isn’t trying to shut Michonne out, he’s immediately back to loving on her every second. This is how Rick loves.

I appreciate that Rick and Michonne immediately started living out that sentiment to love on each other as hard as they can while they can. Loving on each other is what they're both so good at doing. And the way they love is beautiful. 🥹

gif cred: @coalfires

So then they pull up and find all those ramen packs because the universe loves them some Richonnne. And y’all, I adore that they are matching again. 😊 It’s another signature Richonne thing. And it's great how they aren’t just matching in the same general color - no they're basically both wearing the exact Pantone shade, honey. The best. 😋

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

And Rick and Michonne are just at their all-time adorable when the noodles fall out of the trunk and they excitedly laugh and pick them up. Michonne looks like such a cutie when she holds up a pack and amusedly addresses their punny name “Tasteful Noods.”

gif cred: @perryabbott

And Rick looks like such a cutie laughing and just seeming happy to be there. I love that they always bring out such a smiley playful side of each other. 😊

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Another thing I love about TOWL whenever I think about it is how Rick and Michonne's journey of refinding each other was never rooted in questioning if they're still compatible as a couple. After nearly a decade spent apart, some characters who aren't soulmates could have easily changed too much and been unable to rekindle this type of comfortable passionate chemistry so quickly.

But while Richonne had to navigate the way their circumstances had impacted and altered them, they still always operated like they knew the other was their person and the love of their life. And now that they've risen from their ep 4 timeout stronger, they're so effortlessly back to being best friends & lovers.

That's part of why I love how passionately Richonne kisses in their episode 2 reunion scene because they didn't have to hesitate, wait, or wonder how the other felt about them after all these years. Without even needing to verbally confirm it, they immediately knew the love, chemistry, and connection they have was alive and as strong as ever.

But back to this heavenly episode 5 montage - We get a sweet moment of the two having dinner together and I’m just smiling from ear to ear yet again. 😁

I love how this montage moment really highlights how far Rick and Michonne have come in their journey since that season 4 moment beside a fire.

Also, in the TWD series finale when Rick and Michonne were both writing letters alone by a fire, I remember just feeling like I cannot wait for them to be side by side again and it was lovely to see that time finally come. 🙌🏽

During this dinner in front of the mural, they’re both looking out at something but I can never tell what exactly. And then Rick puts his arm around Michonne and I love that he looks over at her first, watching her taking in whatever they’re seeing like maybe another mural/painting or something idk. Either way, Michonne is clearly the true view to Rick. 🥰

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

And then Michonne turns to him with the sweetest smile as they share a kiss and I just love how warm this whole moment is. It's great how they take a moment to just smile at each other before having yet another kiss infused with passion. And the way they get lost in this kiss - equally addicted to each other. 😊 They’re so blissfully in their Richonne bubble and it’s great to see. 

gif cred: @lousolversons

As they drive along the scenic road they also come across a vending machine and I love how their movement is so synchronized as they look from the vending machine to a walker with a sword stuck in its neck. See how the universe always wants to provide the things Richonne needs? 😋

Also, what this episode really hammered home is that Richonne communicates with words pretty much for fun, because they’re entirely capable of having whole conversations by just looking at each other.

And in this moment they both immediately get the same idea at the same exact time to use the blade in that walker to hack through the vines covering the vending machine. And they’re so cute and determined as they go to take care of it.

Clearing out the vending machine was clearly a success as they cut to Richonne back in the car while Rick chugs a soda. And even the soda moment shows that he’s really released a lot of the stress he was carrying in the first four episodes and just seems so at home. And of course he seems at home because his home is right next to him looking beautiful while driving. 👌🏽

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Also, you always know you’re truly comfortable with someone when even just sitting in silence together brings you peace and I felt that from them in these car clips.

Then this heavenly montage wants to make me teary by having Rick take out the phone with the image of Carl and just take a moment to appreciate it. Again, Rick loves his son so much. 🥲 I'll forever be moved by the love this father has for his boy.

It's heartwarming that Rick gets so much comfort from these images of his family. And it really is one of the greatest things Michonne’s ever done for him by giving him this drawing that brought his son's face back to him.

gif cred: @taiturner

I love that Michonne looks over at him and gets to again see how meaningful having this piece of Carl is for Rick. The way she looks from the phone to him, both those Grimes boys forever have her heart. 🥹

(And she knows soon Rick will get to meet the third Grimes boy, RJ. 🥲)

I think about the OG Richonne episode Clear when Michonne was behind the wheel as Rick sat silently beside her with a hand out the window. Now, years later they do the same, no longer strangers but soulmates.

The biggest difference between the two moments is Carl is right there with them in the back of the car in Clear, and now in TOWL he's with them through a phone portrait. 🥺

Carl would be so proud of Rick and Michonne for finding their way back to each other and finally going home together. 🥲

Also just looking at Rick and Michonne in this car heading home, y’all, we really made it. 😭 All those years without them and we really made it to a point where Rick and Michonne are back on a road trip home together and at peace. And so I just adore this whole opening sequence for perfectly painting the picture of their travels home and how in love they are at every turn.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

Rick and Michonne looked so refreshed with vacation vibes as they finally got to just enjoy each other without the threat of the CRM nearby. Beyond here for it. 😇

Then, as they drive they come across a souvenir shop...and it’s there we get another one of my absolute favorite TOWL scenes. 👌🏽😌

[veilder]

War of the Rohirrim: My Thoughts

So, I just got back from seeing this movie and I thought I'd write up a little review, I'll give a brief overview first and put spoilers under the cut.

First off, let me get this out of the way: I really, really enjoyed it! Which isn't to say that the movie didn't have problems, just that I was thoroughly entertained throughout and also got way more invested in it than I thought I would! It was a nice, self-contained little story that did service to Tolkien's Legendarium while still allowing for creative changes and I thought it all worked really well the way it was told. The animation was absolutely stunning in a lot of scenes (notably the fight scenes!), though I did have some issues with it in others. Notably with the compositing of the 2D and 3D art together, some of those just did not look right, but they were few and far enough between that they didn't detract overmuch for me.

The cast of characters were vibrant and well-crafted, especially the supporting cast for me, and the voice acting for everyone was on point. I also really liked the general design and portrayal of the whole cast, I thought they all looked very good. Notable standout character for me would be: the princes, Háma and Haleth, the King's nephew, Fréaláf, and the shieldmaiden, Olwyn. And honorable mention to the Dunlanding general, Turgg, too. I can't tell if it was just the nostalgic Howard Shore score returning in some parts or if I just generally liked the whole soundtrack (notably not composed by Shore this time), but I felt like the music was very good as well. Very suitable to the world and Rohan specifically.

And, last but certainly not least, I thought the vibe of the film was just incredible. Even moreso than with the Hobbit movies, The War of the Rohirrim felt like Middle-Earth. The vibes of the movie were impeccable and it actually seemed like a genuine story set in the original trilogy's Rohan. The styles and dialogue and whole atmosphere of the film seemed very in line with Peter Jackson's original trilogy and I think that's what elevated the whole thing for me, enough to overlook its flaws, which I will get into more detail in below the cut.

Overall, I personally would rank this a solid 6.5/10. It certainly didn't match the original trilogy and likely wasn't even as good as my favorite of the Hobbit movies, either. (Which is the first one, of course. 😌) A very solid addition to the Middle-Earth series and enjoyable enough that I'll definitely be watching it again, but nothing particularly groundbreaking. If you are a LotR fan, I feel like you'll like it. If you're an anime fan, you might get a good story and some pretty characters out of it. If you're a more casual movie watcher, it might be a tad hit or miss. But overall, I consider it a very solid movie.

Now, on to spoilers.

So, first off, let's talk about Héra. I've seen a lot of entertainment outlets and reviewers criticizing her character (or lack thereof) and calling her a "Mary Sue" which is, in my opinion, just a very lazy critique of her. The movie sets her up as this free spirit, a warrior king's daughter who grew up learning to fight and ride and adventure alongside her brothers. She is a beloved princess of the realm who the people greet by name, who is kind and compassionate, clever and competent, who dreams of one day being free of her royal duties and be able to travel where she pleases. Oh, and she has an overprotective father who wants to marry her off to try and keep her safe. A textbook Mary Sue, right?

Well, no, I'd very much beg to differ.

Héra is a flawed character. Time and again, her youth and inexperience lead her into situations she can't handle and she is a liability just as often as she's shown to be a hero. And time and again her compassion is taken advantage of, to the detriment of herself and others. The fact that she is clever and headstrong and grows into a deadly warrior by the end does not make her a Mary Sue. But that's also not to say that I found her to be the most compelling, either.

Don't get me wrong, she definitely had some amazing moments (her conversation with Wulf in Orthanc, her wisdom in evacuating Edoras and her traps laid out before its siege, her amazing "I'm no man's bride." "Who are you promised to?" "Death!" line read?) but she was rather generic to me all things told. However, she's shored up by an excellent supporting cast and a great plot, so I didn't feel I really needed a super interesting protagonist to follow. She is excellent in her role as the POV character for the events happening around her and she becomes anchored enough in the main plot by the role her family plays and the obsession the main antagonist has with her.

Which, speaking of...

Another character I really want to call out is Wulf. Because he... was a missed opportunity imo. I get what they were going for with him I guess? Hm, a sort of Maeglin approach to him almost, for those familiar with the Silmarillion, where becomes obsessed with the object of his desire to the point of madness and villainy. However, I personally feel as if his character could've been so much better if they'd taken him in a different direction? These are all my own thought and you don't have to agree, but hear me out: I think they should've tried to humanize Wulf more. We are told early on that he and Héra are childhood friends, but we're only ever given the barest glimpse of a flashback between them to set that up? We have one short conversation between them at the very beginning after his proposal to her and after that he takes a sheer dive into villainy that he double and triples down on as the story goes. But if the movie truly wanted us to feel as if there was a connection between them at all, I feel like they should've emphasized that relationship a lot more. Show more of their time together as children. Give more scenes to Wulf of him experiencing discrimination because of his Dunlanding blood. Give him moments of hesitation and remorse when he's forced into conflict with Héra. Like, I genuinely believed that's where the movie was going at the end? I really thought that, after their big fight where Héra has him on the ground and shows him mercy, I thought he was leaping up at her to die. I thought he intentionally missed her with his blade because he wanted her to kill him after everything he's done and that was the only way he could accept it happening. I thought the movie might come full circle again to showing that, despite everything, there was something genuine to his affections? That he wasn't wholly evil or deranged and that his declaration of love had been true once upon a time, even if he'd since forswore it after his father was killed. I really thought they would give him some glimpse of humanity. But no, he was genuinely just trying to kill her again and she beat his ass and that's that. Honestly much less impactful to me. Like, don't get me wrong, I absolutely did not want him to be redeemed. (Especially not after the absolutely abhorrent way he killed Háma right in front of Héra and Helm, oof.) But just any show of him not just being some black and white villain would've been welcome. Just the tiniest bit of complexity to a truly vile villain makes them stand out all the more for me and I think Wulf would've been truly memorable if he'd had that.

Now, my issues with the two leads out of the way, I just wanna bring it back around to the positives again and say how delightful I found the rest of the supporting cast? For all that they were barely in it, I was just instantly captivated by Haleth and Háma, not even joking. As soon as Héra rode in to Háma singing his little song for her, I knew I had a favorite. Oh, what's this? He's a poet and a bard and a handsome warrior prince?! Well, I'll be. It seems he was specially crafted to be my new blorbo, lol! And then Haleth showed up and my mind just instantly associated the two of them with my two absolute favorite Tolkien character and I knew I was a goner. (Please tell me I'm not the only one to instantly get Maedhros and Maglor vibes from them, eh? Which, in retrospect, Haleth is much more how I picture Celegorm, lol, but still. That initial projection really stuck in my mind. XD)

Héra's servant, Olwyn, was also such a pleasant surprise? I didn't expect much of her at the start, but she really grew on me as the film went on. I love that you just have to piece together her backstory as a shieldmaiden of Rohan and then you can start using that to theorize about Héra and how she idolizes them and it all just clicks together so well? And it's always nice to see an awesome older woman kicking ass!

And then Fréaláf showed up and he was just like the coolest guy ever?! Yooooooo, I loved him so much, even though he got so sidelined in the movie. 😭 But his appearance at the end wearing Helm's armor and blowing that horn was just awesome. I don't even care if his whole arc was a bit derivative of Éomer's from the films, I still just dug his whole vibe and personality. And it's terrible how Haleth and Háma had to die (like oof, both their deaths were just... so brutal 😭😭😭), but it's obvious that Fréaláf will make a fantastic king for Rohan.

Helm Hammerhand was, of course, amazingly badass, they really kept that part intact. And though I wouldn't say he was particularly likeable as a character, he certainly was compelling to watch. And his death scene, of course, just went so hard.

And yes, shoutout again to Turgg, the Dunlander, for being cool and levelheaded throughout the whole movie. Honestly, if that guy became the Dunlanding leader instead of Wulf, things would've gone like 2000x better for everyone. And I do love that he finally just outright refuses to do Wulf's bidding at the end. It is certainly an instance of too little, too late by that point, but still. I appreciate that he at least had some sort of line he wouldn't cross, even if it was purely because he finally saw how mad Wulf had become. Cool character, I liked him a lot.

I already spoke a bit about the music and the animation up top, so I won't rehash all that, but I just want to highlight a few outlying thoughts I had.

What the heck was up with that Watcher in the Water just chilling in the woods there? That seemed so random. And also, it ate that entire mumik like it was nothing, wot?

In general, the scale of things was kind a crazy? It seemed to vary a lot scene by scene and it was hard sometimes to really tell the perspective of anything.

I absolutely loved Miranda Otto coming back to act as the narrator for this film? Not only was it wonderful to hear Éowyn again in a new project, but I loved how they used it as a sort of framing device, like it was Éowyn telling us a story of her people. (And I love the thought of her being inspired by this legend of Héra as a little girl and dreaming of being a shieldmaiden, too.)

I love that Olwyn didn't die?! I was just waiting for it to happen the whole movie, she had so many death flags it was unreal. But then it just... didn't happen! Yes!

What on Middle-Earth was that dang siege tower Wulf built? Omg, that thing was ridiculous. When they were raising it up and it just kept going higher and higher and higher?! It was like a skyscraper there for a minute, what? And then it just crashed down and didn't break? XD I'm pretty sure I audibly said "Yo, wtf?" in the theater when I saw that part, lol. (It's okay, I was literally the only person there. >_>)

I didn't realize Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd were the voices of those two orcs until I saw the credits? That was a neat cameo!

Why oh why is there no WotR AO3 tag up yet? 😭 How am I supposed to find fix-it fics about mah boi Háma now? 😭😭😭

That one eagle sure was helpful in this movie, omg. And lol, I like that they established that the eagles and wizards can talk to each other? Lol, Maia to Maia communication. XD

But yeah, those are my initial thoughts. Overall, a very enjoyable experience! I was really glad to be back in Middle-Earth again, especially since my interest in all things Tolkien has been massively reinvigorated lately by my newfound fascination with The Silmarillion. This movie hit at a perfect time for me and I enjoyed it greatly. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk movie review. XD

[the-peak-tmnt]

I want to say that I like that your fic is mostly Raph centric because those fics are rare and he deserves more love and pain lol

Raph: Mom says it's my turn with the trauma

Thank you so much! I'm seriously so grateful for people who are willing to give a Raph-centric fic a shot!

I knew writing Raph-centric fic that's also a Mutant Mayhem fic was gonna turn a lot of people off from giving it a try, which I totally understand because I usually go for Leo-centric fics myself lol. It also doesn't help that Mutant Mayhem still isn't super popular.

But Mutant Mayhem Raph is an exciting new version of Raph that's been SO fun to explore, and I'm gonna go on a little rant about why I'm enjoying writing (and torturing) him so much!

[Initiating Raph Rant] So, almost all Raphs are tough guys who also wear their hearts on their sleeves, which is what makes him such a fun character. He's "the angry one", but usually also super emotional in other ways:

Because MM feels more like an actual teenager than most other iterations, his moments of emotional vulnerability feel particularly raw and relatable. I might be old as dirt now, but I do still remember what it was like to be a teenager still trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted in life.

Mutant Mayhem does such an amazing job of hitting on those teenage insecurities and desires. The turtles whole goal in the movie is to be accepted. All teenagers feel like outsiders and want acceptance at some point. That teenage desire for acceptance is amplified for the turtles because they're not just teenagers, but mutants as well. The moment where Raph's voice sort of wavers as he says "we're never gonna be normal" breaks my heart every time, because they're so sure acceptance is completely out of reach for them 😭

...but the MM boys do get acceptance by the human world by the end of the film. Raph even seems to find his place own at Eastman on the wrestling team in the post-credit scene.

I think this is what has turned a lot of fans off MM, though, because the turtles' need for secrecy and using their ninja skills to remain hidden has always been an integral part of the TMNT franchise. Personally, I actually love that departure from the typical TMNT format and talked about it once before.

But there are some traditional TMNT elements that I did miss in MM, one of those being the fact that in most iterations, Raph is an outsider even amongst outsiders. His anger is what alienates him from his brothers at times, and it often gets him into trouble. It’s also what almost always leads to his friendship with Casey (another outsider).

Tales of the TMNT isn't out yet, and we don't how this series will give Raph that traditional outsider treatment, or if it will at all. They could save it for Mutant Mayhem 2, but that's still years away. And even then they might decide not to go that route because so far, MM Raph's rage has mostly just manifested in a propensity for fighting & violence rather than interpersonal issues with his brothers & other people. His rage is even framed as useful in the final fight against Superfly.

So anyway...as canon stands right now pre-tottmnt/MM 2, Raph is an "insider". He and his brothers can have a life on the surface, and Raph even seems to have found his own place at Eastman on the wrestling team. Again, I'm all for this happy ending and a brand new experience for the turtles, but I was also missing my personal favorite flavor of Raph...which is angry and alienated lol.

After I saw MM in theaters, I started looking at a lot of the concept art and other production material floating around on the internet and I came across this concept art by Garrett Lee:

And it was like "oh shit, there he is! Outsider Raph!"

He looks so lonely and separate from everyone else here, and I was obsessed with this idea of Raph somehow still being an outsider even after the mutants were accepted by humans. But again, we're still waiting for tottmnt and MM 2, and even then there's no guarantee we'll get an Angry & Sad Outsider Raph out of either of those.

So I asked myself "how can I ruin MM Raph's life so that he's as lonely and miserable as he looks in this concept art???"

...and Reciprocity was born 😅

[wolfstarlibrarian]

9 books to read in 2025 (sweet + spicy)

Thank you SO much to @eyra for tagging me! I love an excuse to talk about books.

I had SO much fun reading these books I'm excited to share them, so pretty please let me know if you read any of them? I might put anon asks back on because I'm so eager to discuss them. Also, all of these books have HEAs.

Also, I'm working on related marauders lists for almost all of these, so stay tuned!

🌶️ = the more peppers the spicier it is

🍭 = the more lollipops the sweeter it is

Captive Prince: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

This series is one that ifykyk. It's a dark, dramatic, sexy mlm series set in a pseudo historic age and WOW. If it was a fic it'd come with tons of warnings and tags, but there's also an underlying softness between the main characters. Lots of angst and drama and characters you can't help root for. DEFINITELY an 18+ rec so please proceed accordingly.

Johann: Vampire Mates: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

I already rec'd one of the books in this series here, but this one is tied for my favorite. A modern soulmate/vampire au that's got humor, the CUTEST cinnamon roll who's inexperienced (and hundreds of years old), a russian mobster, and just enough angst to make me you ache.

Boystown Heartbreakers: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

If you're a wolfstar fan, then you'll absolutely adore this friends-to-lovers modern story about a hairstylist who is so worried about dating his DROP DEAD GORGEOUS best friend. All the internal turmoil paired with a book boyfriend you'll absolutely love, and lines that actually had me laughing out loud makes this one of my top reads for the year.

The Charm Offensive: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

This one totally surprised me with how well it dealth with mental health issues in the middle of a VERY charming story about falling in love with someone (when it's literally your job to help them fall in love with someone else). A bi-awakening and oblivious pining gem. If you want more fics that feature a reality show check out this rec list.

Myles Below Freezing: 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

Okay can someone alert the Hazelnoot server? Because this one feels like a cross between Solntse and Sweater Weather. Myles (a cinnamon roll, nerdy Remus IMO) has to solve a murder mystery at the South Pole while trying not to fall for the sweetheart Russian Alexei. The banter is incredible and honestly my friends and I need a second book about the lesbians in it. Forced proximity, oblivious DATING, anxiety rep, action and chase scenes, cuddling, and locked-in together all in one.

Sapphire Sunset: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

If you don't know Chris Rice, he's the gay son of Anne Rice (author of Interview With A Vampire) and thank god he's followed in her footsteps because his romance books are SO good and intense and yet fluffy? It's a ton of drama about an ex-marine and a hotel heir and a family scandal for the books. Feels delightfully like an age-gap modern Drarry book.

Lightning Born: 🌶️ 🍭

A friend recommended me this Frankenstein mlm retelling, and I was like "ew, no". However, I was completely surprised by how much heart it had, and how much it reminded me of R/S. Amnesia (due to ya know, dying), forbidden love, some serious angst, and thankfully a HEA that includes lesbians getting to live out in the tropics.

Honey Girl: 🌶️🌶️ 🍭🍭🍭

This is the only book on the list with wlw as the main pairing and by god, it's beautiful. The writing style gripped me on the first page and I've been recommending it to everyone since I've read it. Imagine waking up in a hotel room in Vegas, by yourself, with a wedding band on your finger and a note. The whole book feels like an intimate love letter and it should absolutely be on your TBR.

On Writing

No spice or sweetness in this non-fiction book, because it's a book by Stephen King on writing. Whenever I talk to anyone who's struggling with their craft I always recommend this book. It's short, to the point, and will leave you feeling much more confident in your abilities while helping you improve your writing. 10/10.

⭐

Okay well I hope you enjoy these recs! I've turned on anon asks so please share your thoughts or your own recs as I'm always looking for new books and fics to read. (We'll just ignore how long the TBR list is already...)

Tagging: @thedrarrylibrarian @wolfstarwarehouse @wolfstarmicrofic @pancakehouse @imsiriuslyreading @lavenderhaze @rainbowrowell @gayliketheancients @brandileigh2003 @mrtellmeafckingsecret @imjusthereforwolfstar And ANYONE ELSE who also love books