#actually maybe i should insert the next scene right before the one i just wrote.... hmm... HMM...

[cerealmonster15]

ALSO. i think i have??? most of that next chapter of kalim and the great relationship rescue written... i need to do edits bc i feel like the flow is BAD right now,,, and i am unsure if the next scene will be better for this chapter or the next one... the next one is supposed to be the last one tho... hmmm

[sassykattery]

Mentoring

This is a little smut fic I wrote for Diavolo's birthday, but since I have two fics now and this isn't a "birthday-themed fic," I thought I'd post it now.

CW: MC is AFAB and nameless, uses she/her pronouns. Piv sex, creampie, roughness, harsh language.

WARNING: This fic is centered around the CNC kink. I will explain what that is, but if it's something you may not enjoy due to trauma or other issues, please don't read!!!

CNC: Means consensual-nonconsent. The premise of a cnc scene is that beforehand, both partners agree to certain types of rough or aggressive sex that is of "nonconsesual" nature during the scene. The consensual part is the agreement before the actual sex occurs, where safewords, boundaries, and other parameters are in place. Some people call it rape play, I don't necessarily agree with using that as a blanket term for CNC. This is risky and should not be taken lightly, just like BDSM.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

Third person POV, reader insert

18+ only

Enjoy

"So we are in agreement. We're doing this?"

"Yes... I think so."

"You can't just think so. This is something that could go poorly for both of us if we aren't both on board with it."

She was quiet for a moment, deciding what to say next. Diavolo lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes, a softened but serious look in his.

"I want this. We have our rules, we agreed to the rules, and we know our way out should we need it," she answered confidently.

"Then... so it shall be."

She sighed as she gazed at her test score. It was fine, but she wanted better. Quietly, she folded it and set it aside so she could focus on class. That was, until she saw Diavolo walk in, making a beeline for the teacher's podium.

"Good morning everyone. Your professor had to take leave today, so I will be filling in for the day. His message to you all is to work on your assignments due this week. You may ask me questions if you need to. No lesson for today," Diavolo explained.

The class became quiet and got to work as instructed.

Except her.

She stared up at Diavolo for a solid minute until his eyes finally landed on hers. She raised an eyebrow. The corner of his mouth barely tipped up.

Today was the day.

She began to work on her homework for the next hour, counting the minutes and seconds until class was over. It was so much more distracting to have him there, just steps away from her own desk while he sat at the professor's. The anticipation was building, and all she could do was organize in her head how this would go. Her thoughts were consumed with running each scenario, every word, every single movement they could make. It was so important that this went right, and maybe–

"And that's class. Thank you all for coming. Have a good day," Diavolo announced, standing at the podium. Everyone was already up and leaving, having packed their things while she just sat there daydreaming.

Once the room was cleared out, she cleared her throat quietly and got up from her desk, her test in hand as she walked up to the podium.

"Hey, I had a question," she stated confidently but softly, trying not to intrude. She saw the papers on his podium and knew he was likely busy.

"Yes, what is it?" He replied in his usual candor, golden eyes gleaming and bright white smile beaming.

"I got this score on my test, and I really thought I did better... Is there any way I could... get some help?" She answered, handing him the sheet of paper. He looked over his nose at her and nodded, taking the paper and setting it down to look at.

"I'll see what I can find."

He scanned it over, reading every question and answer. If there was any skill he mastered, it was looking at anything unfazed and replying in a similarly unaffected manner.

"I see. So, you seemed to have not totally understood this concept here, and this one could have been better here," he explained, pointing out to her what he meant. She came closer and nodded, listening carefully. "I think this one could have used a few more examples to drive home your point as well."

She sighed. "Yeah... That's what I thought, too. I wish I'd done better..." she murmured to him.

Her mind became distracted again, thinking about how good he smelled, the amber and musk filling her head with ideas other than this test.

"Are you listening?" He asked quietly, bowing his head to look at her.

"Oh, sorry..." she mumbled.

Finally, she turned her own head up to look at him, and she swallowed thickly at the idea buzzing in her skull, the one making her question every fiber of her moral being.

"Is there... anything I could do to improve my score? Anything at all?" She asked carefully and slowly, bringing herself closer and peering up at him with slightly widened eyes, her expression maybe a little innocent.

"Did you have something in mind?" Diavolo asked in reply, his voice pitching lower in his tenor range smoothly.

She mentally took a deep breath, centering herself. I want this. I want to try this, she thought to herself.

"I mean... What are my options?" She asked, her own voice stepping just a hair lower in pitch as well, leaning into the intensity of the moment. Her body moved closer intentionally, now just mere inches away from his.

"Don't be coy, I think you and I both know what you're implying," he answered, a bit dominantly. "I saw how you stared at me all hour. You can't stand here now and tell me you don't know what you're asking."

Here we go.

"Surely I don't know what you mean..." she stated, sounding slightly shocked.

His arm snaked around her waist, and he snatched her closer, a little roughly, and bowed his head down to whisper in her ear.

"Don't lie. You want me to improve your grade in return for something, right? A little mentoring? Well, I know what it is you want, and I know what I want, so why don't we skip the rest and get to the point?"

She nearly trembled then, with excitement and nerves from how he spoke to her so harshly but still yet so seductively.

"I... I don't understand. I just wanted to see–"

"Shut up, and come here," he snapped quietly in her ear, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her over to the desk. He pushed her against it, wrapping an arm around her when she became off balance from the sudden movements to hold her up. "You asked for it, now I'll make sure you get what you want, and I'll get what I want," he murmured in her ear before biting on the shell of it.

"But–"

"But nothing, now am I going to take these off, or are you going to help?" He interrupted her again, pushing her to sit on the desk and slipping his thick fingers into the belt loops of her slacks with a hard tug.

"No, I really didn't mean–" she tried to insist.

Riiiiiiiiiiiip.

"I guess I'm doing all of the work," he mumbled, quite literally ripping her slacks off with his inhuman strength like the material was paper.

"Dia–"

She started to yelp, but he slapped a hand across her mouth to cover it and keep her quiet.

"Now, are you wanting your classmates to know you want your headmaster to change your grade in exchange for sex?" He challenged her, his gaze piercing her soul. She shook her head. "Then be quiet."

With her torn slacks on the floor in pieces, his hand skimmed up her warm thigh, and he roughly opened it out wide so he could stand between her legs. He looked down and smirked as her underwear peaked out in the creases of her thick thighs and soft tummy.

"You were anticipating this, weren't you? Wearing just a black little lacey thong today. Were you going to ask your professor for this too had he been here?" He mocked her, snapping the band of her panties against her, making her flinch and moving his hand from her mouth. "Answer me," he snapped.

"No, I wasn't asking for this! I–"

She clamped his hand on her mouth again while tutting her. "I said be quiet. Do not yell again unless you want this to get much worse for you," he commanded. She nodded. He smirked at her panicked expression, tears welling up in her eyes. "Now, there's no need for that. I'll give you what you want. Besides, you're going to be good for me, right? This is all for me, and I'll make sure you enjoy it too."

She shook her head, and he ignored her as he slid her panties down her thighs. When she started to fight him, closing up her legs and pulling away, they met the same fate as the slacks. His eyes dilated when he started to see his prize, and instantly got more aggressive.

"Don't. Fight. Me," he barked at her, grabbing both her thighs and throwing them open wider so he could see her perfect little wet pussy on display for him. She still tried to fight against him, pulling away and shaking her head while she whimpered. He sighed and rolled his eyes. Finally, he pinned her down against the desk with his massive hands on her shoulders, papers flying everywhere. "Are you done?"

She stopped for a moment, looking up at him. Her hands had gripped onto his elbows, trying to hang on as he pinned her. She tapped her finger once against his elbow before saying, "Stop! This isn't what I meant at all!" She pleaded with him.

"Oh, but I think deep down it is what you wanted, pet. I think you were waiting for the perfect moment to use your little charms to win me over, but now you have cold feet. You know you want this. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you," he answered menacingly. "I'll make sure you enjoy it, at least a little."

She shook her head and sobbed. Seeing that she wouldn't stop making noises, and he found them to be rather adorable, he snapped his fingers to block sounds within the room from being heard outside.

"What a mess..." he mumbled with a sigh.

He began kissing her on her lips, hoping to shut her up just for a little bit. He ground himself against her body and let his hands wander her body. His fingers made short work of her uniform jacket and blouse, quickly loosening her tie and gaining access to what was beneath it all. He gave a purr of content as he got a glimpse of her. She laid there, still squirming and whimpering, trying to push him off, but that was like pushing on a brick wall when it came to the prince of hell.

"You are beautiful," he murmured in her ear before licking the shell of it a little obscenely. He ducked his head down and left hard kisses, little bites, and trails of his saliva on her chest.

"Stop," she whimpered, turning her head away from him, but he just chased her down with his lips hot on her exposed skin.

He chuckled darkly in her ear and groaned. "I'll even do you a little favor," he told her while he slipped a hand down her exposed form to her pussy. He danced his fingertips along the slit before sliding them past the crevices to reach her clit where he rubbed it generously.

"Noooo..." she groaned, finding it harder to fight against him. "Please don't do that."

"Ohhh, but you're so wet, pet," he murmured to her, and even she couldn't deny how much more slick she became down below. "You're loving this no matter how much you want to deny it."

He trailed his kissed lower and began feasting upon her breasts, sucking and laving his tongue over her perky nipples with elation.

"Finer than any forbidden fruit, sweeter than any sugar," he mumbled against her flesh. "I can't wait anymore."

Diavolo brought his head up to kiss her with his tongue bullying into her mouth. His hands began to unbuckle his belt and send his slacks to his knees. He quickly shed his uniform jacket and loosened his tie.

"You ready, dulcis? I need you," he said huskily in her ear.

Just after he spoke, she felt something warm and hard pressed against her thighs. Pre-cum started to coat her thigh as he rubbed it against her.

"Please don't, please," she pleaded with him, with a tear rolling down her temple.

"Shh, it'll feel good, just enjoy it," he whispered to her.

The demon pried her legs apart again and stood between them, leaning on one hand on the desk while the other grasped his cock to start rubbing the fat head against her little clit.

"Just a perfect little pussy, and all for me," he mused, feeling her slick coating his length. He bowed his head again to murmur in her ear. "Don't fight me. This will go a lot better if you just take it," he warned her before kissing her temple again. All she did was squirm again beneath him.

After pulling his hips back and angling himself, he slid his cock into her, groaning at the overwhelming tightness of her walls.

"Oh god," she whined, trying to worm away from what was bullying its way into her depths.

He chuckled and kept her in place with little effort on his part. "There's no god here to help you now. It's just you and the Demon Lord," he rumbled darkly in her ear.

It took a few more moments for his cock to be fully seated in her. He took the moments after to breathe in her scent, the glistening light sweat on the sides of her neck, and her sweet, sweet arousal. It was fuel for his fire to keep going.

"You're mine. You're all mine, and I'm not letting go," he stated with a malicious chuckle.

The first thrust was rough, and she cried out at how harsh it was. She couldn't help but cling onto him, her little hands gripping the fabric of his shirt along his elbows. He went back to planting a field of dark blooms, hickies and bites galore. With every thrust, he grunted, fighting the urge to completely lose it. Little squeaks and groans fell from her lips as well, signing conjuction with the rattles of the desk.

"Hells, darling, you're going to make me let go too early," he murmured against her neck. "You can't tell me anymore that you didn't want me to fuck you raw on this desk, not with you dripping down your ass and my thighs."

"I didn't," she insisted weakly, knowing she was losing the fight to stop him and now trying to win the fight to make it through to the end.

He grunted again as he made another hard thrust into her. His pre-cum and her wet walls made it such easy glides in and out, but there was something so cute to him about how she squeaked and whined with every pounding he gave her.

Diavolo chuckled again. "Right, and you don't want me to release inside you too, hmm? You don't want to feel me finally fill you up properly, to give you what you've wanted for so long? You wanted to be fucked, and now you're simply getting the best."

"Oh god," she whined again, clutching onto his shirt along his chest.

"God doesn't save whores like you who beg to be filled so deeply," he replied in her ear, his voice much more serene for someone who was doing this.

He kissed her neck and wrapped his arms around her body, trapping her entirely as he made the last few thrusts count. Using the desk as leverage, he leaned forward more to bring her hips up so he could penetrate her deeper. It took all of just mere moments to start moaning and crying with relief as he hit that sweet spot deep inside, and only that many more moments to make her body lock up as the most intense orgasm of her life befell her. The hot sparks of pleasure bloomed from her abdomen and spiraled out to her limbs. The chasm of pleasure was a deep one, and when the Demon Lord felt her walls contract around his cock and pulse, he was pulled down with her into the abyss of carnal bliss. Hot jets of his cum filled her in waves as his hips rocked forward with each one.

When it was over, the pair lay there, heaving and trying to catch their breath. Diavolo was the first to relax and gain his bearings again. He looked down at his human lover, feeling a wave of passion and simultaneous anxiety.

"My love... My love, look at me, please, baby," he cooed to her, stroking her cheeks with his hand.

Her eyes fluttered open. She looked relaxed at peace.

"We're done... Finis," he softly whispered to her, his hand rising up to pet her hair back. She nodded in understanding and let go of her iron grip on his shirt. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

She shook her head and reached up with a trembling hand to touch his cheek next. He smiled and kissed her palm, reaching with his to grasp her hand gently. He bowed his head slightly to prompt her.

"I'm okay. No pain," she finally verbalized it for him.

"That's good. Shall I take you home so you can rest?" He asked her in a throaty murmur. She nodded. Standing upright, he reached for his red uniform coat and wrapped it around her as he pulled her up right. It was already long, and on her, the coat looked like a blanket and kept her decent. He then put himself back in order, slacks up and buckled, and shirt back in place.

He slid his arms beneath her and picked her up effortlessly in a princess carry.

She laid her head against his shoulder and asked him softly, "What about the rest of the day? My classes?"

Diavolo chuckled and shook his head, carrying her out of the door, snapping his fingers to use magic to reorganize the desk they just laid waste to with their fornication. "After that, you deserve some pampering and all the care I can give you." He then bent his head down to whisper to her, "Besides, those are the perks of being the lover of your headmaster, no? I make the rules, I say what goes."

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed.

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated

Tags: @delphidreamin @biteable-pink-pixie @itsmeninerz

[jazzpostsrandomthings]

Journey Retold: The Three Grand Companies

<< Previous Entry

Woops! A full month has passed since I last wrote for this series, my bad. Was busy with exams (aced the last one yesterday) and witnessing my friend go through Shadowbringers for the first time. I have a lot more free time now so I can finally continue Journey Retold!

There will be a preamble of sorts next, feel free to skip around until you see a text written in purple.

One of my friends told me that I should shorten the names of the players when I am inserting their messages into these posts. His suggestion was to shorten "The player of the self-proclaimed Emo Catboy" to "Emo Catboy" for example and he has a point, but I am not going to. I wanted to switch to a format of "The player of [WoL Full Name]" actually, but I had to make a choice against it out of my respect for the privacy of my dear first friend I've made through the game upon their own request so I am not going to do the switch because otherwise they would stand out like a sore thumb.

Another reason why I don't want to shorten the names like this is that... I feel like it's important to point out that there is a real person behind each of these characters. I find it one of the coolest and most magical things about FFXIV and MMO genre as a whole, and for an extravert like me who only goes outside for studies it just holds a lot of weight. Not all interactions with these player characters and people behind them themselves might be pleasant, it's a double-edged sword all multiplayer games and social medias even have to deal with, but an overwhelming majority of these interactions have brought me joy and laughs and it all just feels more real than just interacting with someone over Discord DMs and such.

The issue of the player names being too long in these posts during the messaging segments is real so from now on I will shorten it to "TPo [simple character description]", like "TPo Emo Catboy" or "TPo stern Auri man". That should do it.

...

OK, where did we stop last time? Ah, right, Ifrit.

Pi had slayed a monstrocity from the deep depths of hell yaaaaaaay.

I picked the msq back up the next day, judging from the screenshots' date. The word of Pi's conquest over the Lord of Inferno had spread quickly, like a wildfire, and the officers of the three Grand Companies had arrived to the Waking Sands, wanting to have Ifrit's bane to themselves. I was hit with a choice between these three Grand Companies, i.e. Limsa Lominsa's Maelstrom, Gridania's Order of Twin Adders and Ul'dah's Immortal Flames. And I wanted to join Maelstrom right away because I like Merl-- I mean, I like Limsa and I am the most familiar with it, but I was open to seeing what can other two city-states offer and thus I had set for Ul'dah first.

Raubahn entered the scene, as well as a cute lalafell woman wearing a weird dress that honestly makes her look like a bowling pin when she stands, I am sorry. That lalafell, Nanamo Ul Namo, is the sultana of Ul'dah by the way and it was my first time seeing her.

Their combined speech was very strong, talking about their glory and wealth (both in monetary fortune as well as the spiritual) and how they laid low the VIIth Imperial Legion five years ago.

For Victory and Fortune, stride fearless into the inferno, for we are by fire reborn!

Some young and kinda familiar gentleman had something to say about that last line:

So that's how it happened. How soon history forgets.

The speech was met with a round of applause and cheering, and like I've said before, the speech itself was very strong, I actually started to think that maybe Flames can win me over. Then the twins (or rather one of them) decide to speak to me to explain some things that were kinda glossed over in the grand speech, mentioning the refugee problem and their relationship with Amalj'aa that keep summoning Ifrit and costing many soldiers' their lives.

Next up was Gridania. The speech was mainly presented by Kan-E but her brother and sister (and also another seedseer) were also present, even if they didn't say anything.

The Elder Seedseer's speech was about peace and harmony. She talked about uniting Eorzea to fight the Empire and to protect the place that have been their home for almost five centuries.

And together, let us heal the forest's wounds, that our progeny might live in harmony beneath these ancient boughs. For serenity, purity, and sanctity!

I liked the speech as well, but it wasn't as memorable and strong as Raubahn's and I felt like this would be the Grand Company Pi would most likely side with canonically since he is mostly pacifistic and he wishes for the fighting to stop so there could be peace. Alphinaud chimed in again, mentioning how Gridania has to deal with two beast tribes, Ixal and sylphs, and how all the fighting they do is in self-defense. He also mentioned that their lands have been hurt the most by the Calamity which only complicated things for them and soon their bickering with the beast tribes can turn into an all-out war which is why they might need more people to deal with it when the time comes.

Now, all that remained was Limsa Lominsa.

Merlwyb's speech was about freedom, how their nation was fighting for it for seven centuries since they came to La Noscea and how they would like to keep their freedom until their very last breath.

And with the guidance of the Navigator, this great vessel of ours shall ride the waves till sea swallows all!

Alphinaud spoke to Pi once more, mentioning that Lominsans have a lot of blood feuds betweens the factions that comprise the city-state, not to mention the two beast tribes, kobold and Sahagin that both want to take the place for themselves and are planning on summoning their respective Primals to help them with that. All that made them quite an easy target for Garleans which is why they would be needing more men soon, "drenching the Maelstrom standard a deeper shade of crimson ere long".

Freedom is also something that Pi as a character have been craving for because of his passion for travel and exploring, but he wasn't the person to kill somebody for it... but I didn't want to disappoint Merlwyb so I ended up choosing Maelstrom in the end. Sorry Kan-E and Raubahn ;w;

Next up we see Alphinaud and his twin sister Alisaie talk about the speeches between themselves. The sister says how those remembrance ceremonies (because yes, these speeches were dedicated for those celebrations) didn't talk much about the Calamity and were mostly about "standart-waving rallies" while the brother remarks how they didn't even mention the Warriors of Light, as if they chose to omit their deeds in saving their realm in order to move on from the Calamity. Alisaie did not agree that was a right choice.

She couldn't stand it all and chose to find a different way "to cute ails of this world", the twins going their own separate ways. For now, at least.

And then it was the time to get my chocobo.

Say hello to Eorzean Axl by the name of Gingerhead. I made him into Pi's horsebird lol.

Then I did the next msq quest which was Sylph Management which allowed me to unlock Summoner and Scholar. I went on to do... Summoner one before continuing the main story.

"Huh? But didn't you choose Arcanist to then unlock a Healer job?" Yes, I did, but I realized that I actually have a Healer anxiety and that I probably won't play as a Healer much anyway, plus beating MSQ as a Healer will be pain so YUP, I chose violence.

First chain of SMN quests was OK. Kinda cool, but not memorable. Even thought our quest companion was Y'shtola's sister.

And to conclude this entry, have this hilarious screenshot.

We will be dealing with sylphs next.

[bagheerita]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @tiltingheartand thanks!! ❤

how many works do you have on ao3? 93

what's your total ao3 word count? 1,670,696 (I've finished re-posting (almost) all of my old stuff from FFN and AFF)

what fandoms do you write for? At the moment: Stargate Atlantis Before that: MCU/Avengers I have dipped my toes in all over, but by number of fics the next two most prominent past fandoms are: Inuyasha & Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar

top five fics by kudos: 1. Nemo (SGA) 2. Nyteridalatry (SGA) 3. One and One and One is Three (MCU) 4. Regina Donum (SGA) 5. Your Prison is Walking Through This World All Alone (MCU)

do you respond to comments? Yes, always (unless the person is reading through and commenting on multiple chapters in a fic. Then I usually only reply to the ones where I feel like I have something to say instead of all of them). The depth of my reply depends on my mental energy that day.

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Technically Beast of Venery probably wins this (SGA fic where Sheppard has, to put it lightly, a very bad day)

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Can I go with Harbored (the actual ending of the series that began with Beast of Venery)? In general, I love happy endings, so I write a lot of them. But maybe Harbored feels like a brighter dawn because of the previous darkness.

do you get hate on fics? No, not really. Thankfully! I get weird comment sometimes, like “why is everyone gay?” (which comment ignored the mostly-straight-reading bisexual relationship in that story), and “it’s so lame that you didn’t finish this story” (the story is clearly tagged and noted as abandoned, and I explained that the series it was part of only existed at all because of the comments and interest I’d gotten on the first installment, so when the comments dried up so did the series)

do you write smut? Yes, with varying levels of skill and interest

craziest crossover: Um, of the things that are posted… Conversations Beyond the Edge of the Galaxy, where Shigure Souma, Angel (the vampire), and Rogue (from X-Men) meet at a bar and talk.

have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

have you ever had a fic translated? No, because that would be too awesome

have you ever co-written a fic before? No, though technically Eos and I are credited as coauthors on Aubade (SGA), because she did the art and I did the writing. (Her cover art is really just fantastically beautiful!)

all time favourite ship? Dude* I vibe with/other dude I vibe with/possibly a third dude I vibe with + story that writes them just right + I was exactly in the mood for this situation today = best ship (*dude is gender neutral)

what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? So many…. But there's this one AU I have that I want to finish, it's a multiverse John/Todd/Rodney. Chunks of it are mostly written, but there are these OCs that I was planning to kill off and as I developed the one character I made her black and a lesbian so now I'm like "well crap I can't bury my gays, I want her to be happy with her girlfriend, even though her girlfriend also dying was a huge plot point!" So it's back to the drawing board while I decide if I can get away with inserting a time loop where I kill another character but he's not actually dead (because it's the time-traveled version of him that dies, right? But I can't decide how to make this not a paradox).

what are your writing strengths? I’m good at editing. I love writing absolute shit and then tearing it apart and fixing it. And I think I’m good at blocking? Scenes that don't describe the setting very well confuse me, so I work to make that clear when I'm writing.

what are your writing weaknesses? Describing characters. Since it's a fic I tend to assume that everyone know what everyone looks like, which doesn't fly as well with OCs... 😅

thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it’s dialogue that the reader is supposed to understand it should be written in the same language as the fic. (Or notated in a way that the reader can access a translation. There are cool skins for this on AO3.) If it’s in another language, I had better not need to know what it says, because I do not have time to look it up.

first fandom you wrote in? OT Star Wars

favourite fic you've written? I really don’t think I could pick just one. Mostly I have favorite moments, rather than favorite fics. But some contenders might be: With Autumn Closing In (MCU, frostiron) Ivory Fanged (Kiesha’ra series, Danica/Zane) Oh, Talk Not to Me of a Name Great in Story (SGA, john/todd) Semper ad Meliora (SGA, Rodney & Todd) A Dram of Sweet is Worth a Pound of Sorrow (SGA, Michael/OC)

(I'm not going to link any stories bc it's late, and my AO3 is linked at the top of my tumblr if you're interested)

NPT: @adriankyte-writes @judgeverse @aintgonnatakethis @darklysnarky @anonmadsci @lord-aldhelm @annwayne @anomalousrobot @only-in-december

[tolkiendefiled]

Season 2 Episode 8

I knew this episode would be a mess when I saw that the showrunners wrote it because every episode they’ve written completely fails. They pay no attention to anything they’ve set up. Their dialogue sounds forced. Characters do things that make zero sense. And they seem more interested in writing big moments than actually earning any of them.

For example, the episode opens with the Dwarves. Prince Durin goes to confront his father, who’s using a battering ram to break through a wall in a cave… as you do. The showrunners really want these scenes with Durin and the king to be powerful, but like I’ve said before, we’ve barely spent any time with these characters. We have no real connection to them, no real understanding of their relationship, and no reason to care about them. The showrunners spent eight episodes trying to make Durin and the king matter, and failed.

Meanwhile, in the Penguin, the show already managed to sell Oswald and his mother’s relationship, and we’re just two episodes in. How did that work, while this failed? Simple. The Penguin took the time to show the relationship. We’re talking maybe ten or 15 minutes between both episodes. Because those scenes focused on the relationship, we understand their dynamic. We also understand what it means for Oz to bring Victor, his new driver, to see his mother. He’s making himself vulnerable in a way he doesn’t with anyone else, including Sophia Falcone.

JD Payne and Patrick McKay don’t take the time to do this with Durin and the king. Instead of showing the Dwarves’ relationship, the showrunners unload tons of clunky dialogue that references things no one cares about. Durin says he’ll cut his father’s hand off if the king doesn’t give up the ring, but when the king challenges Durin to do it, Durin backs down and shares some story about them arm wrestling. We’re in the final episode of the season. It’s too late for this. That moment should have happened four episodes ago. You can’t try to make their relationship seem important now when we’ve barely seen them interact for the whole season.

Anyway, the king ignores Durin, breaks down the wall, and finds a cavern of mithril and a Balrog. In fairness, the Balrog does look cool. They spent some money on this scene, and it was worth every penny. But that’s not going to fix this mess of a scene. The king randomly decides to take the ring off, and faces the Balrog. Disa and Narvi hold Durin back as his father goes up in flames, which also blocks the path to the mithril. Right. So, why did King Durin take off the ring? There’s nothing that happens to justify it. He just randomly does it. It’s the same with attacking the Balrog. What does that do when he immediately gets dusted? What’s stopping the Balrog from trying to find its way out? Are we supposed to believe it’s going to remain trapped under the mountain for thousands of years, while the Dwarves keep digging for mithril? That makes no sense.

This is why, in the book, the Dwarves fled Khazad-dûm after they lost the battle against the Balrog. It then lived in it by itself for about five hundred years before the Orcs moved in. The Dwarves don’t return until Balin tries to reclaim the mountain a few decades before the fellowship goes through Moria. The idea that a simple cave collapse would stop the Balrog is crazy.

But the showrunners don’t care about anything in the show making sense, which explains why they have the Dwarves randomly show up to save the day in Eregion, and then end the Dwarf story with Durin with this nonsense about the Dwarf-lords wanting the rings and Durin’s brother possibly fighting him for the throne. Tolkien never mentions Durin have a brother, but he does mention that Durin inherits his father’s ring. You know, the one currently buried under rubble (insert me laughing in frustration at how ridiculous this whole plot is)? Is he going to go and get the ring? Or will it spontaneously appear on his hand next season without any explanation? With this show, who knows?

One thing we do know is that the Stranger is Gandalf. For whatever reason, Payne and McKay desperately wanted people not to think this was Gandalf, while making him look like Gandalf, talk like Gandalf, and act like Gandalf. This was obviously Gandalf, just like Halbrand was obviously Sauron, but the showrunners really thought people were too stupid to notice. Because it is this show, it does it in the dumbest way possible.

Gandalf finds the Hobbit village, and the dark wizard shows up. He claims Manwë, the head of the Valar, sent the five wizards to Middle-earth, but somehow, Gandalf forgot who he was. We never get an explanation of how this happened, or where the other wizards are, or who the dark wizard might be. My guess is still Saruman, but that’s not important because the dark wizard wants Gandalf to join him. He has Xerxe’s men bring out Nori and Poppy, and then turns on the men, killing one of them. The moment is so clunky that I can’t tell if this was meant to trick Gandalf into thinking the dark wizard was against these men, or if the men actually turned on the dark wizard. I have no clue what’s going on, other than that the showrunners have no idea how to set up a villain. This is the third time we see him, and he immediately gives away that he wants to take out Sauron so he and the wizards can rule the world. Okay, but why does he want to rule the world? When did he turn evil? Xerxe’s men mentioned that they were once kings before he showed up. What happened? These are simple questions to answer. A five minute scene could handle this, but no. He’s just a villain because. For this moment to have any impact, we need to know the answer to at least one of those questions.

Anyway, Gandalf refuses to join him, so the dark wizard goes full Rey Palpatine on the village. But Gandalf also has the Force, and uses it to save the Hobbits. The next day, the Hobbits decide to leave, and Poppy gives a lame version of Sam’s speech from Two Towers because Payne and McKay really wanted to remake the Lord of the Rings, but got stuck doing this instead. The Hobbits call Gandalf “Grand Elf,” and that’s how he remembers his name, despite the fact that he’s actually given the name Gandalf, or “Wand Elf,” by Men in the books. Apparently, he was already called Wand Elf by the Valar before he had a wand or a staff.

Speaking of his staff, he just finds a stick that looks remarkably similar to the one from the films, and then goes back to Tom Bombadil, and sits and sings Old Tom’s story. Meanwhile, Nori and the Hobbits go their own way. So, to recap, we spent 16 episodes across two seasons wasting time to find out that this is actually Gandalf, only for him to ditch the Hobbits to stay with Tom Bombadil in the East, a place that - in the books - Gandalf says he’s never even been. Mind you, Tolkien later revised the story of the wizards to say that the blue wizards might have arrived in the Second Age, and he always states that they went East. That change isn’t in the Appendices, which is the only thing Amazon has the rights to, but there’s nothing stopping Payne and McKay from using the blue wizards, so they had an easy way out, but instead decided to fuck up Gandalf’s history by putting him in the story, creating a host of new problems - the obvious one being that it wouldn’t make any sense for him not to fight against Sauron.

Now they have to either explain why he remains in the East when all hell breaks loose, or have him fight in a battle where he could easily turn the tide. Assuming the remaining three wizards haven’t also turned, there’s no reason they wouldn’t help too. Sure, Radagast wouldn’t be that helpful, but the blue wizards and Saruman were supposed to be powerful. This completely breaks the story because there’s no way they wouldn’t have a major impact on the battle against Sauron. This is probably why Tolkien didn’t have any of the wizards in the battle. Why create this problem for yourself? Just because you want to use Gandalf? If that’s what you wanted to do, remake the Lord of the Rings as a TV show. Don’t create this half-ass hate-fiction that completely breaks the story so that none of the events of the Lord of the Rings could even happen.

Speaking of half-ass hate-fiction, this shit with Númenor continues to be a fourth rate Games of Thrones knock-off. The Faithful get seized by Pharazôn, who claims, after looking into the palantír, that Míriel teamed up with Sauron. Why? The vision only showed Halbrand. It didn’t connect Míriel to Sauron. The survivors of the battle would know this, and not all of them are part of the Faithful. None of this is explained. We don’t even get a scene of Pharazôn scheming. Nope, he just issues the decree, and then Earien goes to warn Elendil, who tries to convince Míriel to join him, but she’s like, “Nah.” To answer my question from last episode’s review, oh yeah, they’re definitely knocking boots. It makes zero sense why, but making sense isn’t what the showrunners are known for. But copying other people’s shit? Oh, that’s definitely their shtick.

The queen gives Elendil Narsil. It’s the same sword from the films. It’s a touch smaller, and the leather on the grip and scabbard are lighter, but otherwise, it’s the same sword. From this, the showrunners are trying to claim that this show connects to the films. That’s the only reason to make the swords match. But if you watch this show and then try to watch Peter Jackson’s films, none of it connects. Now, to the best of my knowledge, in the books, Elendil just has the sword. I don’t think Tolkien explains how he got it, but it’s unlikely he got it from Míriel because he has nothing to do with her in the books.

Anyway, Elendil flees west to find his son Anárion, which I think is the second time he’s even mentioned in the series. Meanwhile, Míriel winds up in chains in front of Pharazôn. Maybe this is where he forces her to marry him. That’s what happens in the actual story. That’s how Pharazôn becomes king. But the show ignored that very Game of Thrones storyline in favor of… whatever this is supposed to be.

Back in Middle-earth, Isildur tries to take another man’s wife. The girl he’s been macking on shows up, perfectly after being chucked at a rock, and confesses her love of Isildur. He says that she should come back with him to Númenor, and she agrees to ditch her man just like that. The show has time for this, but not time to explain how the hell Pharazôn’s son winds up in Middle-earth. We didn’t see him leave Númenor. We didn’t see Pharazôn order him to go to Middle-earth. But here he is, peacocking around and being a douche to Theo and the Southlanders. Why is he here? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Isildur bumps into Pharazôn’s son, which catches the latter off guard, but he refuses to let the girl on the ship. That’s the moment her man finds out that she’s ditching him. Then Pharazôn’s son brags about Elendil being wanted for treason, and threatens Isildur. And that’s it. He puts Isildur on a ship headed back to Númenor, and ol’ girl gets stuck with her man. Nothing comes of this. It’s like the showrunners went, “Oh, let’s add some tension. You know what? Fuck it.” Why even put it in the show if it lands like this?

But nothing - nothing compares to the hot garbage that is the rest of this episode. This is the worst adaptation, the worst hate-fiction, I have ever seen. Literally, the worst. Worse than the Last Airbender movie. Worse than the Dark Tower movie. Worse than the Dragon Ball movie. That thing is a goddamn masterpiece compared to this show. It’s like Payne and McKay dumped all their worst tendencies into these scenes, and no one had the courage to tell them that none of this shit works.

For example, Galadriel leads some Elves out of Eregion directly into a pack of Orcs. When I say this, you might think the show picks up when she’s a few feet from the exit. Oh no, this bitch crosses the whole city and climbs a mountain only to get caught by Orcs, who must have watched her do it, otherwise it makes no sense why they’re even there. Of course, in keeping true to being the dumbest person in the world, Galadriel agrees to turn herself and the Nine Rings over to Adar in exchange for the Elves’ safety. I will repeat that. Galadriel, the wisest of all the Elves in Middle-earth, agrees to give the rings to Adar - her enemy - so the Orcs will let the Elves go. No. All kinds of no. It doesn’t make any sense why she would do this. Even in the context of the show’s mutilated version of Galadriel, this still makes no sense. At least she doesn’t flat out say she has the rings, but she does hint at it. Meanwhile, we get the goofiest scene in the entire episode. Like I’ve said before, the showrunners screwed themselves when they changed the order of the creation of the rings, with the biggest problem being that Sauron now knows who has the rings, which defeats the purpose of him torturing Celebrimbor to get that information. So, Payne and McKay tried to fix it by having Celebrimbor give the Nine to Galadriel, so now Sauron can torture and kill him. Okay. I mean, it’s still a bastardization of the story, but it kind of works, which is why they decided to fuck that up too.

How? By still trying, and failing, to make Sauron a sympathetic villain. I don’t understand their obsession with this angle, but they will not let this go, even though it doesn’t work because they did nothing to make Sauron sympathetic. In the first season, he’s obviously scheming, so there’s no reason to like him. In the second season, he’s just a manipulative asshole, so there’s still no reason to like him. They try playing this angle where he was tortured by Morgoth, but we never see that. We never see any effect of that, so that angle doesn’t work either.

No, instead they have Sauron go full JD Vance, pretending to give a shit about other people as he stabs Celebrimbor to death for having a functioning brain. Sauron stands there crying crocodile tears, feeling so sad that he killed a person he didn’t actually have to kill. Had Sauron maintained his bullshit Annatar routine, Celebrimbor the Gullible would have made the Nine Rings for Men and handed them over. The only reason this whole thing went to shit is because Sauron manipulated him, so why would anyone feel sorry for Sauron? Then the Orcs show up and ask if he’s Sauron, and he gives his line, “I have many names,” and that’s it.

In case the showrunners see this, the reason this attempt to make Sauron a sympathetic character didn’t work is because you kept making him do really bad things. Just because he did them with tears in his eyes doesn’t change that it’s a bad thing. There’s nothing tragic or sympathetic about someone choosing to hurt people and continuing to do it when they know it’s wrong, especially when they’re not sorry for doing it. It might make them a good VP pick for a pussygrabber, but it won’t make them a likable person. Like I’ve said before, Sauron’s actual story of wanting to create order in the world, and being twisted by that desire, is already interesting. The showrunners didn’t need to change anything.

Ironically, the show actually does have a sympathetic villain - Adar. Right from the start, he’s a tragic figure because he’s a corrupted Elf. He’s been tortured and changed by Morgoth, and it’s not clear how much of his actions are his own. Is he pushed to do evil things because of the corruption, even if he doesn’t want to do them? We see him try to be kind, but we also see him be ruthless. He seems to genuinely care about the Orcs, even as he squanders their lives in battle. This is an interesting conflicted complex tragic character, who makes you feel pity, if not sympathy, for him. So, what do the showrunners do? They kill him.

The Orcs bring Galadriel to Adar, and she starts to offer the rings, but then he shows that he’s got her ring. Somehow, the ring makes him a normal Elf, and again, that’s not how the rings work at all. To show that complexity I mentioned before, Adar willingly gives up the ring he should have never had, and promises to recall the Orcs to Mordor if Galadriel helps him kill Sauron. Even better, when Galadriel asks how he can trust her after she’s killed so many Orcs, he forgives her. Just real quick, because I know some people might be confused, forgiveness is a thing you do when you don’t think a person is irredeemable, even when they deeply hurt you. That the bad guy is willing to forgive Galadriel’s trespasses is actually kind of clever. I’ve got to give it to him.

But then I’ve got to take it right back because this whole scenario is fucking insane. Why does Adar even have the ring? What was the point if he was just going to give it back? It’s not like he was tempted by the ring. It’s not like he was changed by the ring. Nothing is served by this scenario. If it doesn’t make any sense, or add anything, you should cut it from the story.

Speaking of cuts, the Orcs arrive with a wounded Orc. This is the one with the baby who’s gotten on everyone’s nerves. Adar tries to comfort him, but then the Orc stabs him, and the rest of the Orcs give Adar the full Julius Caesar. Why are they killing him? No, no, no. “It’s not that kind of show.” They don’t explain why things happen. No, the Orcs kill him and side with Sauron, who randomly shows up because. I mean, no explanation at all. They just switch sides just like that. Then Galadriel and Sauron fight, and this goes on for ten unbearable minutes.

Before we get to that, come with me to another scene because it’s a scene of special magnificence. Gil-galad and Elrond get captured. Elrond tries to save Celebrimbor’s work from being burned by trying to reason with Orcs about knowledge and art. What the fuck are you doing? Not Elrond; the writers. Why would you write this? Elrond knows the Orcs don’t care about books. He’d never make this plea. This makes no sense. He’s over here arguing with an Orc who burns it anyway.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the? Is that Arondir? He’s alive? This dude is still alive. How the fuck is he alive?! I mean, I knew he would still be alive because he’s black and they’ve already killed one black Elf. BUT HE’S PERFECTLY FINE? HOW? HE GOT RAN THROUGH WITH A GODDAMN HE-MAN SWORD! HOW THE HELL IS THIS GUY UNSCATHED?? HE’S NOT EVEN LIMPING OR HOLDING HIS SIDE! HE’S JUST WALKING AROUND PERFECTLY FINE! EVEN ELROND CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. He’s like “Bruh, I saw you die.” The Dwarves show up and Elrond calls for Durin, but Durin’s still at home, and Elrond looks back like, “For real?” How is Arondir just fine? No attempt to explain how this happened. They don’t even try. The fuck? 

Back with Galadriel’s and Sauron’s fight, Sauron sees Nenya, so now he literally knows who has one of the Elven Rings, and this completes the desecration of Tolkien’s work; just pure vandalism. It also creates a major story problem leading into the Lord of the Rings, namely that when Sauron returns, why wouldn’t he go to Lothlórien to get Galadriel’s ring? Remember, of the 19 rings Celebrimbor created, the Three Elven Rings were the ones Sauron most coveted, but he never knew who had them because Celebrimbor wouldn’t give them up. That’s actually why he kills Celebrimbor - not over the Nine, but over the Three.

However, if Sauron knows Galadriel has one of the rings, then when he regains power in the Third Age, he’d just go and get it. He’d probably take it when the White Council faces him at Dol Guldur. He’d also be able to figure out who had at least one of the other two because there’s a place like Lothlórien, seemingly stuck in time - Rivendell. He would now know that Elrond has one of the rings too. Both locations are somewhat hidden, but they weren’t entirely unknown. Lothlórien comes under attack during the War of the Ring, so it would be likely that Sauron would attack them first to get two of the Three, while he sought the One Ring. There’s no reason he wouldn’t do any of this, so making this change is madness - total madness.

You know what’s also total madness? This stupid ass fight. They’ve got Sauron repeating Boromir’s lines to Frodo. He’s changing his shape a bunch of times. It goes on forever. They’re so desperate to make Galadriel look cool, but it just falls flat. The only decent moment is when Sauron points out that all of this is Galadriel’s fault, which is true. None of this would have happened if she wasn’t the dumbest person in the world.

Speaking of dumb, Sauron stabs Galadriel with Morgoth’s crown, giving her the same wound in the spot as Frodo. Honestly, if you just wanted to tell the Lord of the Rings, you should have told Amazon that and pushed them to make that show. Why make this lame ass hate-fiction? Nothing about this works. It’s just a mess. For example, how does Sauron get the Nine Rings? Does he beat the shit out of Galadriel to get them? No. Does she mention them as a ploy for some lame ass attack? No. Instead, they fall out of Galadriel’s shirt when he knocks her to the ground. That’s it. No struggle. No search. Just on the ground for the taking.

To prove how much the showrunners don’t care, Sauron uses telepathy to try to convince Galadriel to give up her ring, which she obviously can’t do, so she decides to fall off the cliff instead. She survives this several-hundred-foot fall, but apparently, the stab wound is what’s killing her. I can’t stop laughing at how fucking absurd this show is as I write this review. So, wait. You’re telling me she would have walked off falling on a fucking rock at terminal velocity, but the STAB WOUND is just going to take her ass out? “I would have got up and walked away, but you know, this fucking wound in my chest is just killing me.” 🤣 Like, this bitch falls from the height of the Sears Tower, walks it off, and she’s like, “Oh no! I’ve been stabbed! I’m gonna die!” Why in the fuck would you write this scene? It doesn’t make any sense how this bitch is supposedly going to talk off falling from a fucking cliff, but it’s the stab wound that’s killing her. Get the fuck out of here. No. No!

Speaking of dying, the Orc with the baby tells Sauron that the Dwarves are coming, and tries to complain about the Orcs getting killed, so Sauron stabs him and he dies. I guess he wasn’t one of those marginalized groups after all, but at least he’s dead now, so people stop complaining about having to care about an enemy. Incidentally, the dark wizard actually brings that up when Poppy calls him out for killing Xerxe’s men. He’s like, “You care about this guy, even though he was going to kill you?” And she’s like, “Yeah because I’m not an immoral asshole.”

Anyway, Gil-galad tries using the ring to heal Galadriel, but one doesn’t work, so Elrond uses Nenya to help. Now, we don’t actually see this happen. Oh no, it happens off screen. We also don’t see how they wind up in what will eventually become Rivendell, or learn how the Elven Rings protect it, but that’s what Elrond tells Galadriel when she wakes up. Gil-galad says that the Elves are basically defeated, so he’s trying to figure out if they should stand and fight, or if they should retreat. Of course, Galadriel says stand and fight, so she’s learned nothing. And that’s how the season ends.

This was bad. So unbelievably bad that, of course, there are tons of people claiming this was the best television show ever. One guy proclaimed that he was a die hard Tolkien fan, and he couldn’t understand how anyone didn’t love this. Well, try not being full of shit, and you might be able to see what I see because this is a mess. Just like the first season, the pacing for the first five episodes was glacial. In the last three episodes, they crammed in as much as possible while barely managing to explain anything as they danced on Tolkien’s grave with this self-indulgent hate-fiction.

I give the actors credit for their performances because they were doing their best with very little to work with. The special effects were phenomenal this season; top tier grade A effects. For anyone who wants to claim that the effects suck, I’ve been following special effects since Movie Magic was on Discovery Channel. I know good VFX when I see them, and this show had them in spades.

But that does NOT make up for the terrible writing. Even ignoring the showrunners’ masticating Tolkien’s works and spitting them out, the show is internally inconsistent. The plot lines make no sense on their own. Characters either have no clear motivations, or not enough time is given to fleshing out their motivations. The characters barely get enough time to develop, so we never get a chance to care about any of them. The writers want these grand moments, but didn’t do the work to build the scenes to earn those moments. I don’t think the showrunners set out to make a bad show, but I do think they’re oblivious to the fact that their show doesn’t work. It’s terribly written. It pulls way too much from Peter Jackson’s films. It’s obviously a half-ass reimagining of the Lord of the Rings. And it comes across like JD Payne and Patrick McKay have no respect for Tolkien’s work, let alone understand it.

Now, like I said in my critics of the last episode for season one, for those who like the show, you’re welcome to like it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not bad. We’ve had eight episodes of some of the worst storytelling ever put on screen again after two years to fix it. The showrunners again failed to meet their own promises, and again torched Tolkien’s work in the process. This is AFTER the showrunners claimed that season two would be closer to the books. The showrunners knew they had a problem with the structure of the first season, but instead of fixing that, they doubled down on those mistakes, and chose to again take a well established history, and mangle it beyond recognition.

You are welcome to like this show, but that doesn’t change what it is. It’s internally inconsistent with characters that have little or no depth. It leaves out tons of info the audience needs to know for things to make sense. The dialogue smacks of someone trying way too hard. And the pacing is still fucked up. You’re free to ignore all that and enjoy what you see, but I will again ask people to be honest. If the show hadn’t received criticism, would you actually like it? Would you think it was this masterpiece of storytelling? Be honest because that’s what I’ve been doing. I’m not shilling for anybody. I’m definitely not going with the consensus. This is my honest opinion. The show sucks, and Amazon has proven they can’t and won’t fix it.

Now it looks like Amazon is waiting to greenlight season three. The Hollywood Reporter said that the show hasn’t received the go for the next season. Amazon probably will greenlight it because they’ve invested a billion dollars into this thing, and plan to have five seasons. It would be unprecedented for them to cancel a series after spending that much money.

Last time, after I finished the Rings of Power, I watched the Lord of the Rings and read the Appendices to cleanse my palate. I’m in the middle of working on other things, so I can’t dive back into that at the moment, but I can watch the shit out of other stuff. Since I just watched THIS horror show, I think I’m just going to watch a bunch of horror films to finish out the month. After all, none of them can be worse than this shit show.

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[writingbywatson]

Genshin Boys With A Dense Crush (Part 2)

Here is part 2~ so, the reason why I didn't include Bennett and Razor is the fact that I can never write for them, like IDK why but its just very hard for me. So yeah, sorry about that. Part 1 (Albedo, Childe and Diluc)

Chongyun

Dense + Dense = more dense

It was painfully obvious that Chongyun likes you but for some reason, he can’t quite figure that out for himself

But everyone around them knows

Xingqiu is actually on the road to writing a book about the two of you

Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei are betting on how long until Chongyun realizes his feelings

Chongyun doesn’t know why he likes to see you every day, wants to have meals with you, and why he gets uncomfortable when he sees you with another person and smiling at them

Maybe it was the work of g-

“Oh I like them” -Chongyun one day when he woke up

He consulted his best friend Xingqiu about this and Xingqiu just placed his books down and said “dear archons finally, it was getting very painful to watch”

So the two started planning a cute little confession scenario

Somewhere Xinyan and Yan Fei are crying because they lost the best but Yan Fei is arguing that betting was illegal and has no ground in the law… Yan Fei, you betted with your conscience please stop

Anyway!

The pair of best friends decided to go with a simple type of confession because less is more in Xingqiu’s books

It was going so well, a cute dinner and all of that

“I like you Y/N, can we be more than that?”

Oh is that Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei spying on both of you from the bushes? Why, yes indeed.

“You want to be best friends Chongyun? But don’t you have Xingqiu as your best friend already?” - you with your ever so innocent voice and expression

Chongyun is frozen in place

Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao and Yan Fei are betting again this time how many times will Chongyun get a friendzone

Kaeya

Someone revive him

He can’t take your dense nature anymore

This is Kaeya after all everything he does allude to something so WHY WON'T YOU GET IT STILL

“Oh, Kaeya? You like someone!? Can you introduce me to them?” - you asking excitedly upon hearing his and Rosaria’s conversation

Kaeya was pretty sure he was describing you

Rosaria is holding back her laugh, she can't breathe… SOMEONE SAVE HER

“I love them but this dense attitude is too much!” - Kaeya as he slams his fist on top of Diluc’s bar

“Have you tried wooing them?” - Diluc as his wiping a glass down, he's so nonchalant about this situation LMAO

“HAVE I TRIED?” - Kaeya sounding very offended

“How about getting a white bed sheet and painting “will you marry me Y/N” on it?” - Rosaria

“Yeah, they leave me no ch-”

“Sit down, don’t embarrass yourself like a child” - Diluc pushing his brother down to sit

“HOW WILL I GET MY FEELINGS ACROSS THOUGH!”

“Just confess, normally… like… a normal person” - Diluc

Kaeya decided that in two days time he was going to confess to you, two days because he needed to make sure it was perfect

But the moment he saw you laughing with some random guy all the planning was thrown out the window

“Meet me in front of the church when the sun rises” - Kaeya to you when he passes by you at the corridor of the headquarters

When you arrived, he made you stand at the flight of stairs in front of the church while he went down

He kneeled with his right knee touching the ground and he pulled a very neatly folded white sheet from his pocket

He unraveled it and wrote, “WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N?”

But even before you can react a thunderous shouting can be heard and a chuckle

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID CONFESS NORMALLY!” -Diluc

Thoma

I’m going to try but still little info on this new pyro husband

Thoma is a very understanding boy

He likes you so much that he's willing to wait

But damn has he been waiting long

He decided he was going to confess to you today as well!

“Y/N! I like you!” - Thoma

“I like you too! You are like my best friend!” - you

Every time this happens Thoma stress eats.

Ayaka is giggling because he has never seen her friend like this

He's trying his best for you to like him, he cooks for you, takes care of you, guards you, protects you…

WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG!?

“You know the festival is ongoing” -Ayato as he watches his sister’s friend mop around like a puppy who has been kicked. “Why don’t you try confessing properly and straight-forwardly there?”

That gave him an idea

He dragged to the talisman-wishing thing and told you that you two should make one

When the both of you were done, you should each other what you made and to your surprise, Thoma made a drawing of the both of you holding hands

“It’s not us being best friends forever” - he clarified

“It’s me hoping to spend many more years beside you as your lover.”

Venti

Barbatos aka Venti the Bard has been singing a lot of love songs lately

Especially when you were in the audience watching

He always likes your smile especially when you were watching him

So when the two of you were strolling around near the church of Monstad

He decided that he was going to confess today

Years of being alone and he finally get what Vanessa told him about meeting the right person

“Y/N, I love you-”

“Aww, Venti, I love you too!”

“Really?!” - Venti very excitedly

“Yeah! I love you as a friend! We’re like besties!”

Dvalin felt that

Andrius felt that

Hell even Vanessa felt that from Celestia

“Oh I got to go, bestie, I have something to do! See you tomorrow!”

Lately, the winds of Monstad have been depressing?

“I don’t understand! I thought they liked me back!” Venti his chugging his alcohol while Diluc looked at him in irritation

Diluc wants to kick him out but Venti is Monstad’s archon so he decided against it

“Venti! There you are!” - you

Venti hears your voice and because his drunk his happy instead of upset

He throws himself at you in an attempt of a sloppy hug

“Y/N! I love you~”

“I love you too, we are fr-”

“NO! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I LOVE YOU! THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIGHT MORAX I WOULD!”

Xiao

When Xiao first had these feelings he was confused

He lived a long life and this was the first time in his life where when he sees someone his chest becomes constricted and warm

“Xiao! Do you like traveler!?” - you excitedly

Xiao felt a tightening in his chest not that good type but am i being stab right now type of tightening

His answer would usually be along the lines of no and he can’t have relationships with mortals

He usually has a lot more patience with you compared to others but hearing you say that he looks good with someone else just made something in him snap

He didn’t mean to shout at you nor did he mean it when he said you should leave him alone

That’s why he's waiting for you at Wangshun Inn, his loneliness grew into worry when after 2 days you weren’t back yet

Upon eavesdropping around he also found out that no one has seen you and your last known location was Mt. Hulao and he immediately began to worry because that place was prohibited to humans

“Are you looking for someone?” - Mountain Sharper appeared behind Xiao as he reached the top of Mt. Hulao. “Are you looking for a mortal perhaps?”

“How did-”

“-That mortal is pretty noisy, they don’t stop talking and they know you.”

Oh, the warm feeling in his chest is back because they were talking about him which means that they weren’t angry at him!

“Where are they!?” Xiao would realize and I swear to you his ready to break every amber rock around Mt.Hulao

“Calm down, they are currently collecting Qingxin flowers”

Right on cue, “XIAO!? IS THAT YOU!?” he heard your voice from behind him, when he saw you, he immediately rushes to you and hugs you

“What are you doing here!?” Xiao would ask, his voice was raised only because of relief

“Oh, I got lost! And Moon Sharper here saw me, we ended up chatting and I guess I forgot the time, he shared so many stories about y- WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ARE YOU HURT!?”

“I’m alright… I just… I m-miss…”

Moon Sharper is just looking at this scene and he knows he's about to spill the hottest tea next time the adeptus (idk plural form okay) have a dinner party

Xingqiu

At first glance, it might look like that he isn’t affected at all

But internal his boiling

WHY WERE YOU SO DENSE

IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIS CLAN'S TEACHING AND WHAT NOT HIS PROBABLY ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR A FIGHT

“You’ll make a great husband someday Xingqiu, I know it! Your future wife would be so happy!”

“I want you to be my wife though”

“What was that?”

“NOTHING!”

He knows he needs to move so he can win your heart but how can he when you were dodging every advance he makes

What is more frustrating is that YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE

As an author he wants to experience romance first hand, so he tries to be romantic about it but this was frustrating

He decided to pull his last technique from his sleeves

He lent you a very romantic book and between one of the pages he inserted a paper that read “I wish for you to be my muse.”

If that doesn’t work Xingqiu is going to ask you to fight him

Zhongli

Zhongli, Rex Lapis aka Morax has lived thousands of years

Yet this is the first time he encountered someone so dense at first he taught you were just kidding and pretending but when he described what he likes in someone which was pertaining to you

You simply said “WOW THEY SOUND WONDERFUL AND YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU SOUND SO IN LOVE” at his face with genuine awe, there was no sign of you being flustered and whatnot

Hu Tao was there to witness this and the younger female had a good laugh when she witnessed this

Zhongli is now praying to Guizhong for help and patience

He first wondered if the reason for such behavior was because you dislike him but it wasn’t the case because you would always smile when you see him

Which makes his knees very weak

In heaven, all the dead gods are laughing at him

He has lived for so many years and yet he doesn’t know what to do because he wants to spend years with you

But a part of him says this isn’t right because his an immortal and you were a mortal, someday him being a former god would drive an enigma in the future

That’s why he was also hesitating on his part

“Zhongli, look-look! A merchant from Monstad gave me a Cecilia!” - you snapping him from his thought, he's a tall man so you had to tip-toe to put the flower in his hair

“There you look even prettier now!” - you smiling up to him

As you were withdrawing your hand, Zhongli grabs it and places it in front of his lips

“I love you Y/N”

[anxious2dsimp]

Everything He's Not | Iwaizumi x GN! Reader | Short Fic

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Flavour: Angst (Reader x Cheater!Oikawa) to Fluff (Reader x Iwaizumi)💔→☁️

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Short Fic (alternating between two sides of the story, y/n and Iwa's)

Part: 1 out of 2 (read part 2 here)

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Y/N, has dated the very popular Oikawa Toru for a while, through him becoming friends with his group. However, little do they know about a certain stoic ace's feelings for his best friend's s/o. When Oikawa screws up big time, will Iwaizumi's true feelings finally show? And what will Y/N do when everything goes down?

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, breakups, basically Oikawa x Reader angst turned into Iwaizumi x Reader fluff.

A/N: I wrote this for myself a while back but I edited it into a gender-neutral reader insert on a sleep-deprived whim (sorry if there are any mistakes, feel free to let me know!) Ik it's very random, but hopefully someone likes it :)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Your POV

Dating Oikawa Toru was definitely different from what you expected; at first you were weary about the volleyball star, but after giving him a chance you started to see the real him. Yes, he was the captain of a powerhouse’s Volleyball team and had a ton of fangirls, but really he was just a regular guy with dorky interests and an alien obsession, which was the side of him you fell for. It wasn’t all great, dealing with his fangirls was rough; luckily you were safe being from another school, but they’d take any chance they had to try and gain Oikawa’s interest, flirting with him as he did the same back, not with bad intentions, it was just his personality. It did slightly annoy you, but you knew he was clear that we were together and wouldn’t take things further, he was just keeping up his image, and he promised you that was all.

Since your Karasuno friends didn’t particularly like your relationship with the setter (though they did respect it), you two hung out with his Aoba Johsai friends; that’s how your friendship with Iwa, Makki, and Mattsun started. You all became good friends, so they all helped you keep Oikawa in line while at school (especially Iwaizumi). Since you got along so well your friendship became its own thing besides Oikawa, and before you realized it, you and Iwa were such good friends that you chatted almost daily on the phone.

You don’t know what exactly made you bond so much, maybe you were similar in the sense that you were both used to being lowkey, keeping things together behind the scenes; regardless, you both enjoyed each other’s company. That Tuesday afternoon was one of those days, Oikawa had something to do at school, so Iwaizumi invited you, Makki, and Mattsun over to his place to wait for the captain like you usually did since it was the closest to the school.

So, you just chilled like always, laughing and playing video games, talking about whatever came to mind. While you were in the middle of a Mario Kart match, you heard the front door of the apartment open, “(y/n)-chan! I’m sorry for the delay~” the brunette said in a sing-song voice.

“Hi to you too, Oikawa,” said Makki, poking fun at him, to which he just rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch. “Aren’t you gonna give me a kiss?” Oikawa asked standing in front of the screen, causing all four of you to start yelling at him to get out of the way, making him pout. “One sec, Toru-chan,” you said, biting your lip while focusing on keeping your first place intact for the last lap. The setter just giggled and got out of the way, walking around the sofa to stand behind you.

Iwaizumi’s POV

‘Eyes on the screen Iwaizumi,’ the ace told himself as he tried to focus on the game, attempting to ignore the way Oikawa kissed (y/n)’s neck while they played, trying to get their attention but failing miserably other than a giggle here and there. Iwa could tell by the way their (e/c) colored eyes pierced the screen that they wanted to win. The boy could see why his best friend liked them, unlike most people (y/n) actually treated Oikawa like a normal person, which definitely got him going. It wasn’t just that though, you all became such good friends because they’re smart, funny and beyond kind; but that’s all you were, friends. So why did it make him moody to see them be all couple-y?

After all, they were together while he was just the friend, the one who kept the fangirls off Oikawa so (y/n) didn’t have to worry because he couldn’t do it himself. Even though Toru was Iwaizumi’s best friend since they were kids, he couldn’t help but think that his friend wasn’t the greatest boyfriend. However, that was the same reason why he couldn’t say anything either, after all, they made him happy and vice versa, so he just kept telling himself to keep his damn eyes on the screen.

Luckily for him, the game was soon over so you all ordered takeout and sat around talking. “Yo, (y/n), there’s this new scary movie on Netflix, we should watch it this Friday night,” Mattsun stated, stealing one of Maki’s fries and throwing it in his mouth. “That sounds fun, but I can’t Friday! Karasuno has a friendly match against a few Tokyo schools this weekend so we leave Thursday after school,” (y/n) explained with a sweet smile, Iwaizumi’s eyes casually wondering over to Oikawa to see him looking upset.

‘Ugh, here goes,’ the spiker thought to himself. Lately, Toru had been restless and uncomfortable because according to him, his s/o was slipping away from him. Oikawa had somehow managed to convince himself that Karasuno had made it their mission to get their manager (y/n) to stop liking him and had been getting increasingly dramatic and jealous lately for no reason.

“But I thought we were going to hang out this weekend,” Oikawa whined as he pouted at his significant other, trying to seem jokingly disappointed though his best friend could tell he actually was upset. “Babe, we literally talk every day and we hung out all this past weekend, and today,” (y/n) said taking his hand.

“Plus, you have friends too, Shittykawa,” Hajime said, trying to get his friend’s mind out of that dark place since he knew he was more prone to make stupid comments when it was there. Oikawa didn’t drop it, insisting on how they were talking less as (y/n) continued to explain that school had been busy and how he also had responsibilities that took up his time. They eventually got him to shut up, but Iwaizumi couldn’t shake the concern that he was being too stupid, and it felt like he was getting closer and closer to making a mistake.

Your POV

You had to admit you did feel guilty when you told Toru you were leaving for the weekend, it was true that you had been way too busy with school and that neither of you had much free time, but you knew that your feelings for him were still strong. So, that Thursday after school you were happy and excited to hear that the trip had been postponed and you’d actually travel on Saturday morning because Sensei had a very important meeting on Friday afternoon. With the change of plans, you decided to go surprise your boyfriend, and it already being late in the afternoon, by the time you got to his place he would be home.

As you got off the bus by his place and got closer to his house, the sun beginning to set, a couple by a small park caught your eye, causing a soft smile to appear on your face. That park was always where you two would hang out when you wanted to be just the two of you. Walking closer, however, the smile quickly disappeared as you realized the “couple” was none other than Oikawa himself with one of his persistent fans he told you not to worry about. ‘Maybe they’re just hanging out as friends,’ or at least that’s what you told yourself as you squinted and kept walking.

Picking up your pace you got closer, now being able to see their faces more clearly in the dimly lit park only to watch them kiss, the girl’s arms around his neck while Oikawa’s hand slid up her thigh. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stood there in shock as silent tears began to fall down your face. Almost as if you were in a trance, you reached into your pocket and took out your phone, dialing his number as you saw the brunette react.

He looked down surprised at his phone screen as he scooted apart from the girl and picked up the call as if it was nothing. “Hey beaut-” he started to say before you cut him off, not having the strength to hear his happy tone. “How could you?!” you sobbed angrily into the phone as his face became anxious. “What’s wrong babe?” How could he try to play it off as if he had no idea?

“You lying, cheating, son of a bitch! We’re over,” you yelled angrily, hanging up right as his eyes met yours. You were close enough to see the horrified and heartbroken expression on his face, but before he could say anything you turned around and just ran. Grabbing the straps of your backpack you sprinted back down the streets, your vision blurry with tears as your (h/c) hair was pushed back by the wind. It was only when you were back at the bus station and were sure that Oikawa was nowhere to be seen that you stopped and realized; you didn’t know where to go next.

You could go to your Karasuno friends, but you weren’t in the mood to hear “I told you so” and couldn’t go home to not worry your family. As you sat there and looked at the screen blankly, tears continuing to fill your eyes, a notification appeared. ‘Hey loser, how’s the trip going?’ you read as your eyes looked at Iwa’s name by the message. He was your best shot, you were close and he wouldn’t judge, so without opening your phone again and ignoring all of Oikawa’s calls you jogged over to Iwaizumi’s place.

After ringing the apartment and hiding your teary and now out of breath voice in the intercom, Iwa’s mom buzzed you in, and once you got to his floor you were greeted by Iwaizumi looking concerned, more so once he saw the state you were in. “(y/n), are you ok?” Iwaizumi asked as he walked over to you, hugging you as you hid in his arms and sobbed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. It’s Oikawa,” you explained as he nodded and got you inside. He made some tea and brought it with you two to his room, both of you sitting on his bed. “Ok, what did Shittykawa do now?” he asked as he looked up at you and handed over a warm mug. “D- did you know h-he was cheating on me?” you managed to stutter out between sobs, trying to sound collected but being embarrassed by your inability to do so.

“He- wHAT?!” His reaction startled you, and when you looked up from the cup and saw his horrified, furious expression it made you feel less like you were overreacting. “I- the trip got postponed to Saturday morning, so I went to surprise him to his place and saw him in our bench making out with one of his fangirls,” you explained, watching as Iwa’s face became angrier and angrier, realizing how you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, “I’m sorry I came to you, I know you’re best friends.”

Iwaizumi’s POV

Seeing them like this was already painful, but learning what Oikawa did was too much, Iwaizumi couldn’t believe how his friend could do this to (y/n). The spiker had never cared when he did stuff like this or worse than this to his fangirls. After all, he thought, they were the ones stupid enough to be blinded by his charm, but he never fathomed Oikawa would be able to do something like that to someone as great as you. “What? Hey, don’t even dare apologize,” he stated firmly as he took both mugs and set them by the bedside table, hugging (y/n) tightly and feeling them snuggle into him as they cried. Seeing them like this killed him. ‘Fuck Oikawa,’ he thought to himself, ‘if before I had stayed out of the way because they were good for each other that’s no longer the case.’

“I’m so sorry he did this to you; I should have stopped him. If I had known I would have, I should have been paying more attention,” the ace rambled into (y/n)’s hair as they cried softly, getting angry at himself before being interrupted by them pushing themselves away from him gently to look up at his face. “Why are you apologizing as if this was your fault? Iwa, he’s the one who’s an asshole, not you,” they stated, wiping a tear from their face.

“Because,” was he really going to say this? Screw it, here goes nothing, he told himself before continuing, “I knew you deserved better than him, but I convinced myself he would be different with you because I saw how good you were to him, and how happy you looked.” (y/n) just looked at him, mouth slightly ajar as they seemed to process what the boy had said. He couldn’t take the silence anymore so to avoid the blush he felt was beginning to appear on his cheeks he asked; “so did you dump him?” They nodded, looking down at their cup of tea as they chuckled and replied; “on the spot, over the phone.”

Iwaizumi chuckled back, releasing some of the nerves; “serves him right.” They smiled weakly at his comment and absentmindedly ran their fingers through their hair, My god were they gorgeous, Hajime thought to himself, only then realizing it was the first time it was just the two of them in his room, suddenly becoming self-conscious. Calm down, he told himself while taking a deep breath, looking over at (y/n). 'They just broke up with their boyfriend, being here with you is their last concern,' or so he thought. “Do you… want to watch (favorite movie) and eat ice cream?” the spiker suggested after thinking for a moment, he knew that was their favorite movie, and ice cream helps get over jerks, right?

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

[redhawtriot]

Baby Boom (Bakugou x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

If you’re interested in the secret life of models or baby momma drama, you’re well fed tonight. 

This story actually means a lot to me bc it deals with a lot of issues that I hold very dear (I stayed up last night and wrote like three chapters lol). That being said, the content may be a little triggering to some people: (eating disorders, slight alcoholism, pregnancy, discrimination, overall angst) 

There is also a slight mention of nsfw (she’s gotta get pregnant somehow) to begin with but besides that, it should be pretty safe

Reader discretion is advised.

HnM 💕

Month 2, Month 3

--MONTH 1--

“Mmmm…” 

The dazed hum of your own low voice peeled back a layer of sleep from your mind.

The cloud of blankets underneath you swallowed your body, tempting your stirring form to stay asleep for just a little longer. As your mind teetered upon the steep edge of unconsciousness, a flurry of scenes played in your head.

You let yourself fall into the random, vivid dreams as you finally gave up in your struggle against the warm embrace of the bed. The film that performed in your mind was a choppy one at best; however, you still caught glimpses of the action:

The dark room... The dancing city lights outside of the window… the low screeching of the rocking mattress underneath you… the breathless moans… looking down to see the mingling of scorching sweat, illuminated by the red light peeking through the window… looking up to see the flash of his even redder, vermilion eyes for just a split second before your lips were captured… the lewd mewls that you didn’t even notice until they were gone, caught in his warm mouth.

The quick, dreamy waves of erotica left just as soon as they came, their sudden disappearance sending a jolt of consciousness your direction.

What. A fucking. Wakeup call.

The bed once again flutily attempted to grab you and hold you back in your sleeping state, but you forced yourself to roll over into awareness. As your body turned, your eyes finally painfully pried themselves open. Once the brief sting of light passed, you found yourself smirking at what you saw,

Holy shit. Dreams do come true after all.

The man in bed with you—you finally realized that it was indeed his bed—was turned over on his side facing away from you, but that didn’t stop you from admiring the view.

His arms, godsent and chiseled by Michelangelo himself, extended from under the blanket-- one used as an extra pillow under his head, and the other laid peacefully on his side. As peaceful as the display was, you could still see the rippling muscles layered underneath his airbrushed skin. You could only begin to imagine what they looked like when he was flexing.

Suddenly images from last night of his strong arms pressing your legs up toward the headboard infiltrated your mind, and you didn’t have to imagine anything anymore. You bit the bottom of your lip to keep from giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Virtually immediately, your smile melted from your face and the sound of tires screeching blared within your head. What the fuck were you doing staring at this dude like some damn creep? What? Were you gonna wait for him to wake up to invite you to breakfast? Were you gonna go on a lunch date with some no-named dude you met at the “booty room.” As if.

God, ew.

You tried to ignore the fact that you had just been reduced to a soppy 16 year old all over again.

You gave one more passing glance over the top of his ash-blond hair before straightening your face with a with a quirk of an eyebrow and slowly pushing yourself out of his bed. You glanced out of the window and noticed only a thin stream of light peeking through the glass. Good. It was still early morning. Plenty of time to make it to work.

You would like to avoid Ainu’s bitching mouth today.

You fluffed your hair up, deciding to adopt the “after-sex hair” and make it your own as you scoured the bedroom floor for your dress from last night. You spotted it just a foot away from the door. Damn you really didn’t waste time, huh?

You fought the urge to laugh at yourself as you walked over and shimmied yourself back into the dress, some of the sparkles flying off as you shook your hips. You had found your panties just right next to the bed and your bra hanging off the lamp on the nightstand. You stifled a laugh at yourself as you slid the items on underneath your dress. What a fucking night.

Mostly everything at that point had been accounted for, but there was still one thing on your mental checklist that you couldn’t find—well, two things to be exact.

Okay…

Shoes... shoes… Where the fuck are your shoes?

As you continued searching for the shimmery heels, a sudden deep groan from the bed startled you a bit, causing you to freeze as you watched ‘good ol’ no-name’ stir in his sleep. You paused for a few long moments while he, thankfully, settled back into his slumber.

You let out a quiet breath of air that you hadn’t even known that you were holding and decided then and there that you could do without those shoes. If Cinderella could do it, why couldn’t you?

You quickly grabbed your handbag and phone from his nightstand and commenced your getaway.

I mean, you were obviously no virtuous princess and he was hardly prince charming from the foul mouth that you could remember from last night—insert blush here-- but still…

You turned the handle behind you as you softly shut the door so that it wouldn’t make much noise, only to turn around toward the hallway and be met with a pair of bright, crimson eyes. Caught red handed, You faltered a little bit as the built man in front of you became practically as scarlet as his hair,

“U-Uh-- Good morning!” Kirishima forced out as he obviously struggled to keep his eyes on your face. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering down the chains of silver that barely held your dress on your shoulders.

Or the open slits on your upper thighs that let your shapely hips spill out from underneath your shimmering dress.

Or your obviously messed up hair that had probably spent much of the night between Bakugou’s fingers. He felt his face become unbearably hot at the intrusive thought.

His eyes flickered back up to yours, but not before you could notice the way that they seemed to trail down your body.

You relaxed into your chest a bit, Okay, just a roommate. He seemed fairly harmless and ‘SIMP’ enough not to raise many red flags or dangerous pervert alerts. You breathed into something resembling a laugh as you smirked up at him, “G’ Morning.”

Kirishima’s breath was caught in his lungs at the song of your voice, “M-morning…” Shit, did he already say that? The man suddenly became very aware of what he was wearing. Or rather, what he wasn’t wearing as a draft flew in from the pants leg of his boxers.

His blush almost instantly intensified—and he thanked every lucky star that he didn’t have the hormonal “tell-all” body of a teenager anymore.

You only smiled, brushing past the red-head, toward the front door. As you made your way past the kitchen you noticed a bowl of fruit displayed on the bar. Your mind quickly fleeted to thoughts of ‘what a weird fucking thing to see in what was obviously a man cave—o-or a bachelor pad. Man pad? Bachelor Cave???’ Did you accidentally wonder into a Martha Stewart catalog without realizing it?

As you eyed the odd arrangement of fruit, you didn’t even notice the other two roommates already situated in the open living room—their eyes wide as they trailed your form.

“Are these real?” you spoke up suddenly, startling Kirishima who was at this point deciding whether or not to go back into his room and pretend he hadn’t seen you and lost half of his brain, or to go to the kitchen for breakfast as he had planned. “Can I have one?” you shamelessly asked.

“Yeah! Sure!” Kirishima answered maybe a bit too strongly. The poor man just wanted to compensate for his totally unmanly display earlier. He just… he’d never seen anyone like you before. Especially not in his ‘humble’ (that was being generous) apartment.

That’s when one of the men from the living room decided to speak up, “You can have all of them, sweetheart,” his voice immediately snapped your attention toward the rather spacious (empty--except for a couch, a TV and a... bench press?) living room, where you came into contact with the speaker’s golden eyes, “Go on. Take as much as you want,” the kind smile he wore contained just the slightest hint of ulterior motives, you noticed. You take back what you said earlier. The real SIMP was right here.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, “Just one will do, thanks.” Your flat tone did nothing to disinterest Kaminari as he ogled at you grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and shoving it in your mouth when you noticed a pair of heels haphazardly tossed by the front door. Aha! There are your fucking shoes!

The electric blond watched in utter fascination as you held the fruit between your teeth and began slipping your heels back on. Holy shit. He was glad he woke up early for once.

Kirishima approached two of his roommates, shaking his head at the giddy one currently drooling over Bakugou’s overnight visitor,

“Get a grip, dude. It’s not manly to stare like that,” he lowly warned so you couldn’t hear. He felt like a bit of a hypocrite, but at least he was trying to maintain some decency. It seemed like Kaminari had simply thrown all of his fucks to give out of the window as he shamelessly eyed you like an Englishman on safari. Come on, bro!

“Yeah. Didn’t you hear her with Bakugou last night?!”

“How could I not, Sero? I’m pretty sure the entire complex heard!” Kaminari resentfully whispered to his two roommates before sweeping a hand through his blond locks and snaking his way towards you, “So… what’s your name, gorgeous?”

You could hardly hold back the look of disgust that fell upon your expression as you looked up at this man. Read the fucking room, dude. You couldn’t make this situation more obvious if you were wearing a damn sign on your head that said “One Night Stand: Hit It and Quit It,” and sprinted out of the apartment.

You didn’t want to make friends.

You didn’t want to introduce yourself to someone’s roommates when you didn’t even know their damn name.

And you sure as hell didn’t want to be passed around to said stranger’s roommates like a fucking bottle of wine at communion, “First name: Not, last name: Interested,” you deadpanned.

A series of “OHHHH’s” and “She got you, Bro! She got you good!” sounded throughout the apartment. As you swung the front door open, looking back one final time to see the look of absolute disheartenment spread across the blonds face, “Ba-bye~ Oh! and Thanks for the fruit, Red,” you winked before shutting the door behind you, unknowingly causing Kirishima to dissolve into a blushing mess.

You heard a bit of commotion come from the other side of the door when you left but didn’t pay it much mind as you began your walk to the nearest train station—taking another bite from your bachelor pad apple.

Bakugou, however, couldn’t ignore the commotion you had left behind as his scowling form emerged from his bedroom, “Could you idiots be any fucking louder!?” The blond was already in a terrible mood. He had woken up to fucking ketchup, mustard, and mayo’s shouting only to realize that his bed was suddenly much colder than he remembered it had been when he fell sleep.

The frustrated man was instantly met with his other blond counterpart throwing himself at his knees, “Bakugou, buddy!” he cried out, clutching the fabric of the other man’s sleepers, “You’ve gotta teach me your ways!” he groveled at his feet as if Bakugou was the lord and savior of in-cels everywhere.

“The hell are you talking about?” his hands crackled furiously as he seriously prepared to blast the dunce-face off of him, “get the fuck off’a me!” he roared.

Kirishima reluctantly spoke up, gaining the two blond’s attention and probably saving Kaminari’s life, “Honestly… I gotta say even I’m surprised. She was… unreal,” Kirishima’s cheeks dusted over in a light shade of pink just at the memory of you.

Even Bakugou had to mask the sudden warmness that fled to his own face as your image suddenly popped into his mind. He shoved the butterflies down into his stomach so that he could shit them out later, “What’s that supposed to mean, shitty hair?!”

Sero, who had previously just been silently enjoying the wild spectacle before him, had finally decided to give his input on the situation, “What Kirishima is trying to say is ‘how the hell did a sack of anger issues wrapped in a mean mug like yours score a chick like that?’”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY, HORSE TEETH?!”

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” Kirishima whined before Kaminari finally asked the question that had been lingering in all of their minds,

“Did you get at least get her number?” The matter gave birth to a few beats of silence between all the roommates. Bakugou visibly stiffened at this question as his face shriveled up.

“I don’t know… She seemed to get out of here in quite a hurry,” Sero contemplated aloud, effectively breaking the silence.

A tinge of pain shot straight through Bakugou’s pride at his words. You had practically run out of there—away from him. Was last night really that bad? He seemed to have a much different memory than you of the event.

Tch. Whatever. It doesn’t fucking matter.

Shoving these thoughts out of his head, he scoffed, “Good. The hell do I need her number for?”

Silence once again befell the four—this time being disrupted by Kaminari, “You don’t know how good you have it,” he shook his head, “You don’t deserve half the things you get, man…”

Of course, this only caused the apartment to erupt into another fit of commotion—death threats and cheap insults being thrown in every space of the testosterone-filled home.

Meanwhile.

You tried to ignore the multitude of awkward stares you garnered as you made your way through the train station. They were probably—well, more than likely-- because of your racy evening wear, but shit. You didn’t exactly plan on getting dicked down last night. At least, maybe not on a conscious level.

You sighed before boarding the train and looking down to view the notifications on your phone. Oh crap, it was later in the day than you had originally thought.

Boss lady:

[7:42am]

Someone told me that you went to Club 52 last night.

You better not be hungover or wasted when you get here, Y/N

Inches! Y/N! I need you at your inches!

Ahhh. the old 35, 25, 35. The perfect body shape. Well, she can take all 85 of those inches and shove them up her ass for all you cared.

Boss Lady:

[8:03am]

I am serious.

Sick of  cleaning up your messes.

Don’t ever pull this shit again when we have such a big brand deal!

Remember. I have eyes everywhere, missy!

As the messages went on you only scanned them,

How could you do this to me Blah. Blah. Blah. I stuck my neck out for you Blah. Blah. Blah. Where else could someone like you find work as good as this Blah. Blah. Blah. Etcetera, etcetera.

Damn boss Lady was like a fucking broken record.

You closed your eyes on the train and tried to astral project your spirit to a better place. Somewhere where you didn’t have to take a shitty modeling job to pay your damn rent. Somewhere where you had an obtainable passion. Somewhere where you could do something meaningful with your life.

Somewhere where you weren’t just some damn pathetic quirkless girl whose only talent was looking good in front of a camera and taking bullshit.

“You’re late!” The bodies of women lit up by the hard lights on set seemed to all turn in your direction at your boss’s loud announcement. The aggressive clacking of her heels sounded in the air like gunshots as she stormed over to you, but you couldn’t be less impressed by her repetitive intimidation tactics,

“What are you talking about? It’s 9:00!”

“9:04! The shoot started at 9 and you don’t even have makeup on!” her nose crinkled in disgust as she neared you. The way that she dramatically gagged at your scent had your eyes rolling, “And you fucking smell like sex. Jesus fucking Christ Y/N! You. Intern! Get over here! Go hose her down!” she called your friend, Kimi, over, “You’re lucky I don’t ring your neck! The marketing agent will be here in less than an hour and he wants to see progress!” by this point Kimi had rushed over and began herding you away from the multitude of disapproving stares you had gathered from the other models.

But not before you heard whispers of your unprofessionalism.

“Now, go get your pretty ass presentable looking!” Boss lady shooed you off.

As your friend literally hosed you down in the bathroom with her hydropump quirk, she already had a bottle of body wash on hand-- completely desensitized to your naked body by this point. Neither of you said a word for a while, but you could tell that she was itching to speak up, “So…” a grin spread across her face as she rinsed the suds out of your hair, “Was he at least cute?”

“Super fucking attractive,” you gave a short laugh, “At least. I think so. I don’t really remember his face…”

Her loud laugh sounded through the bathroom before the space was once again covered within a thick sheet of silence. When the two of you were close to finished, she sighed at your idle, far off gaze before attempting to strike up a bit of conversation, “I really should be thanking you. You keep my job security, after all,” she joked.

She wasn’t exactly wrong.

She was pretty much hired to be your babysitter under the guise of “stylist intern” in Ainu’s modeling agency; however, when she was hired for this gig ‘frequently bathing a hungover, grown mess of a thot’ and ‘constant ginger ale, and Pepto Bismol runs’ were probably not in the job description.

“I keep my life a mess just for you,” you lazily smirked up at her.

“Your life is hardly a mess. You’re living the dream, supermodel girl.”

Your mind flashed back to girls around you eating cotton balls to satiate their hunger, to women working 10 hour long photo shoots in 6-inch heels, to being urged to give brand promoters “special attention” to secure the agency’s profits, to runway events that left you sleepless for days at a time, to your own fingers plunging down the back of your throat so that you could fit into the impossible dress sizes fitted by your designers, “Yeah...” you quietly trailed off.  

The shoot went fairly well, after your late start.

It was actually different than most others that you have participated in since the main focus was upon the red shoes that they wanted to promote. The photographer had decided—much to the dismay of the other models on set—that you would be a focal point in his artwork. Claiming that you had such a “sexy, sexy look” and were going to be huge one day.

Thanks creepy, middle-aged, French photographer. Now half of these girls are gonna cry themselves to sleep tonight and the other half are gonna create voodoo dolls of you to stick needles in.

Fairly well, or not, you couldn’t fight the urge to click your red sneaker soles together three times every now and then—internally chanting “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

Needless to say, it didn’t work.

It was about three weeks later when you found yourself at the official branding event of those stupid red sneakers. It was some kind of charity event/campaign/branding bullshit hybrid—or whatever.

Most of the models that were there the day of the original photo shoot weren’t even requested to go. Since you had been a focal point in that shoot, you were invited (forced) to attend by the brand marketer. Your uninvited colleagues of course, hated you even more after that, but you would trade places with any one of them in a heartbeat.

Your stomach bubbled a little bit—‘need vodka’ it cried.

You patted the poor organ in solidarity. You like to think that you are very in tune with your needs. You’d much rather be boozing it up in some sweaty booty club than be at… whatever the fuck this was.  

Everyone there was dressed up like it was some cocktail party or some christening or something. The large room was filled to the brim with tables with neatly folded napkins and different red and green finger foods on the centerpieces. There was a clearing in the middle, under the chandelier, for “dancing” but was really for people to socialize and network.

Hmmm. Not a red sneaker in sight except for the banners of photos from your shoot hanging from the ceiling, you noticed.

“Could you at least pretend to act interested?” boss lady whispered, “Smile a little, yeah?” Ainu completely rolled her eyes at the strained grimace of a smile you threw her—the glare she threw back saying ‘you little shit!’.

You couldn’t help but laugh as the two of you began to drift away from one another—with her sending you one more lingering glance that said ‘stay away from the alcohol and don’t do anything stupid!’

Of course, you nodded like the obedient little clothing rack you were, but as soon as her back was turned you found yourself snatching a glass or two of chardonnay from one of the passing waiter’s trays. As you took a long sip from the glass—careful not to smudge your lipstick—you found your eyes wondering across the unimpressive room.

They ended up settling in the corner of the place, on a man standing alone, nervously fidgeting with his suit cuffs.

Ah. Quality entertainment! You took another sip from one of your glasses.

You nonchalantly strolled toward the man before twisting yourself around next to him so that you were both facing the growing crowd of the room, “All this for some red sneakers?” you spoke up with a slight grin.

His eyes immediately shot up to one of the banners hanging above you before settling back to your smirk, “Y-Y-your one of the models form the poster!” his face darkened into a deep blush and you slightly lifted one of your drinks into the air with a quirk of your eyebrow as if to say, ‘guilty as charged.’

He seemed to get over his shocked state quickly, “Well… uh-- I guess it does seem a little silly when you put it that way, huh?”

“Is there really any other way to put it?”

He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment—his eyes trailing toward the ground in front of him, but you were patient. You took the time to take in his wild, green hair—it was dark, kinda like the seaweed that you wrap around sushi. Your mind flickered to what you remembered sushi tasting like, but it had been such a long time.  He finally spoke up “Well, they are giving half of the profits made to start a campaign to end the bullying of quirkless children,”

“Really?” your eyebrows shot up as the man looked back up to you. Your chest abruptly rose up as you gave a half chuckle, “That’s… well, that’s something. Apparently, this brand is being started by some up and coming hero. Deku? I haven’t really heard much about him, but he’s probably just using us quirkless folk as a stepping stool to celebrity,” he seemed to visibly stiffen at your words but it wasn’t every day that you got to talk about civil rights concerning the quirkless. You passionately continued, “It’s like saving kittens or walking an old lady across the street. I mean, what’s a big shot hero like that know about being quirkless? Tell me,” you leaned in close to him and nodded into the sea of people filing into the room, “Do you see a quirkless kid in sight, right now?”

You left him silent as he began pondering your statement. Hm! Good.

Satisfied with yourself, you took in the final sip from your remaining glass—tilting the curvy cup up into the sky to get every drop.

A tall man with glasses shuffled through the dense crowd to make his way towards the two of you “Midoriya, there he is! Excuse me, Miss,” he stiffly bowed to you at an awkwardly low angle before turning back toward the green haired man, “Come this way. Quickly. I would like to introduce you to…”

As he was pulled into the crowd by the weird tall man you found yourself curiously staring at where he had disappeared.

“Mmm. Isn’t he just as yummy as you thought he’d be?” the familiar voice snapped you straight out of your thoughts, startling you into a slight jump. You whipped your head behind you to see Kimi’s giggling face, “C’mon!! Ainu wants you to get some photos in at that set over there.”

“Ughhh, you know how I feel about red-carpet shoots, Kimi.” It was just a bunch of amateur photographers barking orders and questions at you like some glorified paparazzi. She ignored your whining as she dragged you to the literal red carpet in the far wall of the room, blocked off by a velvet rope and surrounded by a buzzing infestation of flashing cameras. You suddenly became very aware of the very chemical scent of her perfume—and the growing nausea twisting within your stomach.

“You can go find your hero boyfriend, later! I promise!” she practically shoved you onto the carpet, but you could only throw her a confused glance. Who was she talking about?

“Huh?”

“Don’t tell me you seriously didn’t know who that was! We are literally in a room of heroes right now!! That guy that you were with? He’s the entire reason we are here right now, Y/N!” you could hardly fight off the look of confusion that befell your face as you began posing for the flashes of photos being taken of you. Whatever. You probably just looked like the confused bimbo that they all thought you were anyway.

Kimi smacked her hand on her forehead—tossing you an exasperated glance, “Hello!? Red sneakers—the Deku! I can’t believe you. He’s projected to be the number one hero in a few years—that Deku!”

You felt your blood immediately run cold.

The Deku you had put on blast directly to his face. The one who was endorsing this entire brand that your agency had a deal with—that Deku, “Oh. Shit.”

You suddenly felt very sick.

Meanwhile, the three stooges had finally dragged their grouchy roommate out of the apartment and had made their way into the Red Sneakers Event, much to the dismay of said grouchy roommate. He would quite literally prefer to be anywhere else but here. Hell, he would rather stick his head in a vat of acid than be at some dumbass “quirkless sneaker” party for that shitty Deku. There couldn’t possibly be any good reason for him to be here right now.

“Oh, shit!” Kaminari’s grating voice snapped Bakugou out of his thoughts. He looked up to where the blond was pointing, and his heart skipped a beat.

The banners adorning the ceiling of the space sported a very familiar face.

“Isn’t that your hottie from last month, Bakugou?” the electric man practically giggled with amusement, “Over there, too! She’s at the red carpet!” Bakugou’s red eyes danced over to the succession of flashing lights on the far side of the room. Somehow, even with the herd of photographers clumped behind the red rope, he could still make out your gleaming form. It was as if you radiated light, blinding him to anyone else between you and him.

What the fuck? Where did those thoughts come from?

With a click of his tongue the blond instantly spat these feelings out of his head.

“Huh!” Kirishima tilted his head and gave a short, amazed laugh as well, “Look at that-- it totally is!”

Sero decided to chime in as well, completing the unholy trinity of pains on Bakugou’s ass, “Of course she’s a model. Dude, how did you trick that poor girl into your bed?” It took every ounce of willpower that the ash blond could muster not to blow ‘Elbow’s’ face off right then and there as he ground his teeth together.

Kirishima bravely leaned over to the seething man, “You should go say something to her.”

“Why the hell would I do that!?”

“Because if you don’t, I will,” Kaminari straightened his tie like he was grooming himself to approach you. Fucking as if!

“Like she’d be interested in your dumb ass!” Bakugou loudly snapped.

“That sounds pretty possessive Baku-bro,” Sero hardly ever called him this unless he wanted to get under the time-bomb of a man’s skin, “Almost like you have feelings~,” him and Kaminari began snickering to themselves as Bakugou neared the maximum capacity of his internal ‘pissed off-o-meter.’

The two men laid off of him a bit—knowing very well by this point what buttons to push and when to stop pushing them when it came to their feral friend.

“Looks like you’re missing your chance,” Kirishima spoke up—nodding his head to your fleeing figure. “I think she’s leaving.” Bakugou looked up to see your desperate form dash for the coat racks in the corner of the room.

As you made your way to the coat racks, you were completely oblivious to the lingering eyes that followed you—only focused on the furious ones that approached you and the rising, gurgling feeling in your stomach.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” your pissed off boss halted you right by the coat rack—Kimi, trailing not to behind you, was halted as well, “The event has hardly even started!”

“I don’t…” the bubbling in your stomach shot up your throat and was hardly caught in time as you slightly gagged, “I don’t feel too good, Ainu…”

She could only groan into her palm as she threw her head up toward the ceiling, “I told your ass not to—Ughhhh! Can’t you go one night without getting utterly shitfaced, Y/N!?”

Kimi reluctantly spoke up, “She hardly drank tonight. I think she really is sick,” her voice was very soft in the air as she defended you, and you realized that this is the first time you’d ever heard her talk to your boss directly.

Ainu’s eyes seemed to dance across yours and Kimi’s for a few beats—probably to gauge whether there was truth to Kimi’s words-- before she finally made up her mind, “Fine. Go on,”’ she tilted her head toward the direction of the exit with an irritated wave of her hand, “Take her home.”

“No,” you moved past Ainu toward the coat rack, “I think I can make it on my own,” you argued before shimming your fur on. After a mini dispute, your friend reluctantly agreed to let you make your way home alone.

Bakugou watched on as you gave the women that were with you tiny half-assed hugs before making your way toward the room’s exit—towards him. For the first time in practically forever, the man felt his heart drop down into his toes.

The four roommates all paused as you approached them. You were for sure going to see Bakugou and say something to him, right?

Wrong.

All three friends noticeably winced as you nonchalantly brushed pasted the four of him, not even sparing a passing glance at their shocked, blond comrade. “Oof. That’s gotta hurt,” Kaminari grimaced.

Sero’s lips stretched into an uncomfortable frown, “I don’t even think she recognized you, man.”

Kirishima could only remain silent as he watched a flurry of unfamiliar emotions flicker across his best friend’s face. Even if his buddy wasn’t clearly and uncharacteristically upset, he would still probably be at a loss of words from the secondhand embarrassment that was flooding into his cheeks.

“SHUT UP!” Bakugou snapped, pulling his face back into his trademark scowl, “What the hell do I care? I already slept with her. What else is there to do?” I don’t fucking care, I don’t fucking care. The man chanted to himself as he shoved his body into the crowd—anything to get away from those shitty dumbasses.

Sero gave a low whistle, “Wounded words, from a wounded man.”

When you made it back home that night, you spent the better part of the evening with your head glued to the toilet, and you really fucking didn’t understand why.

Two glasses were practically a baby bottle to you at this point. There is no way that you got sick off just that. So… food poisoning then? You fought a laugh at the amusing thought. You have to actually eat for that to happen.

Shit. And you were cramping like a mother fucker.

You instinctively opened you phone brushing past the ‘Are you okay?’ text from Kimi to make your way to your period tracker app. Maybe it was almost ‘that time of the month.’

A lot of girls that you knew had lost their periods from the severe “weight training” that they endured, but you had actually been regular with yours despite your everyday living.

The app opened—revealing a visually loud, bouncing notification that prompted a different breed of nausea to spin within your gut.

You were about two weeks late.

[tippenfunkaport]

Fics in Progress Update (Sept 2021)

I haven’t done a work in progress update in a while and so now seems like a good time to do that since I’m finally free of Glimbow Week and other commitments for a bit. I don’t know if anyone is actually interested in / cares about any of this stuff but it’s helpful for me to write it out and organize my thoughts.

Here’s the thing tho: I was thinking my schedule would normalize in the autumn and, for various reasons, that has not been the case At All so writing time is still super sporadic and I’m not going to commit to any consistent posting schedule.

That said, I’m planning to concentrate mostly just on my ongoing fics for a while so expect less random new one-shots and more finishing stuff that’s already up.

Incomplete/in progress works…

(No links bc Tumblr hates them but you can find all my fics at the link in my bio)

The Other Me has about ten chapters left by my outline but since we’re all having fun with that fic I may expand it a little as antics occur to me. My hope is to get that back to bi-monthly updates at the longest by the end of Sept.

Glowing Up: The Pirate and the Princess has a mere two to three chapters left (depending on how I chop it up) and I hope to have that finished before fall is over.

Lay Down was pretty much a very lone one-shot I chopped up so I could post it in time for Glimbow Week. The other two sections are written, I just want to clean them up and expand them a bit now that I have the time to do that. They will go up when they go up but, since there are only two sections left, it should finish up pretty quickly.

Going There, Coming Home and the Glimbow Swap (Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer) are my babies. I don't know exactly how many chapters are left of any of them (well I do, roughly, but I tend to split chapters as I edit which mucks with those numbers) but they are all very dear to me and I like just working on them at my own pace so those will continue to update willy nilly as I get time to work on them between other things.

What about [insert fic name here]?

I have many other one-shots and additions to my existing AUs I wrote as back-ups for Glimbow Week that are in various states of completion. I will post them or not as the spirit moves me.

As for bigger projects I’ve teased but have not started posting yet…

I was going to start posting Outlaws of the Whispering Woods (my dystopian Robin Hood AU) months ago but I decided to wait because a) I want to concentrate on making progress on some of my other big works in progress first and b) I’d like to try to hold it for the next Big Bang to give it a chance of it reaching a wider audience because I’m really proud of it and I’d like more people to read it.

In an ideal world, I’d start posting more Beasts AU for Halloween (bc that’s what I originally wrote it for) but it’s suffering from plot hole-itis right now so I can’t post it until I iron out some story issues. I’m not sure if I will ever post everything I have planned for that AU but I hope to at least post a big chunk of the Catradora / Glimbow part because it is dear to me.

Horde Glimmer AU: I have written much more of the same AU where Glimmer and Catra are swapped (as seen in my fic, Another World) and I am honestly not sure anymore if I will ever post it since that one-shot mostly flopped. That said, I might still post random scenes I’ve written to test the waters.

Fake Break-up AU, which I posted a teaser for during Palentines last year, is very dear to my bi-heart and in many ways the most personal thing I’ve ever written but I am not sure if I will ever be posting it despite having written a ton of it already. It depends on how life goes, particularly in relation to the next thing…

Last year around this time, I got distracted a Glimbow vampire AU. I wrote a ton before realizing… you know, this is so far from canon maybe I’d be better off just writing this for real. And, if I may be vague, things started happening there that told me it was the right choice. Will I ever post any of it in its original fanfic form? I am not sure but I might do a few select scenes as one shots at some point. Either way, you’ll get to read it eventually… Bow and Glimmer’s names just may be different. ;-)

The mood right now at Casa de Funkaport is frustrated because I really thought we’d be done with COVID by now and instead it continues to complicate my life in many ways. I am still starting to step back from fanfic to go back to work writing (which is why my focus right now is in finishing up stuff I’ve already started vs starting new stuff) but that’s been more of a slow tentative shuffle than the jump I thought it would be.

Anyway, that’s just a quick update on where everything stands! Remember, if you want to influence me to update your favorite fic next I am easily bribed with fanart of my fics and Kofi tips! ;-)

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners, Part II

~Or~

A Candid Review of ITV's Emma (1997)

Disclaimer: I do know that both this and the Miramax version were released in 1996, but to avoid confusion, I refer to this one as the “1997 Emma” in reference to the US release date.

The bones of this review were written some six years ago after my initial viewing. I’ve watched it three or four times since then, two very recently (Within the past year). I’d started to soften on it in the most recent watch. So many people love it so much I thought surely maybe I’m just crazy or even wrong; until I found this blog post from 2008 (a year before my favorite version was released) that hit on almost EVERY SINGLE thing that skeeved me out about this version when I first watched it.

Like my previous review of Emma. (2020), I��ll be covering the cast and overall handling of the script in comparison with what I know from reading the book. I will also be commenting on my thoughts about the costumes (Whether they are attractive or accurate, or both, or neither) which will be a bit more in depth than it was for the 2020 version, and this will set a pattern for the costumes section going forward.

Directed by Diarmuid Lawrence with screenwriting by Andrew Davies (Or should I say “Written by Andrew Davies with direction by Diarmuid Lawrence”?), this version was  a fan-favorite among Janeites for many years for … well, reasons I’ve never been entirely certain of. I’ve read the book twice through and referenced pertinent passages MANY times besides, and really I don’t see what they’re raving about.

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

I’d known about this adaptation for a while, but I held off on watching it, largely for one reason: my apprehension about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley.

     I was concerned because when I watched this I had already seen Mark Strong as Sir John Conroy in The Young Victoria and as Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes, both very unpleasant characters. But there have been several occasions when I expressed displeasure with casting choices only to eat my words when I actually watched the movie. So I entered into watching this with an optimistic outlook, sure that Mark and Kate would surprise me with brilliant performances. And I would like to say that they did, but that would be an untruth.

My biggest fear about Mark Strong playing Mr. Knightley was that his rebuking of Emma was going to be a watered down version of ‘RAAAWWWRRR’ that I was familiar with, specifically because of The Young Victoria. It’s very hard for me to see Mark Strong point his finger in Emily Blunt’s face and shout at her, and then watch him do the same thing with Kate Beckinsale (only somewhat less aggressively) and expect to feel all warm and fuzzy about their romance. I expected that to be a tall order. And it was. Whenever he raises his voice, the right side of his face pulls up into a snarl. Now since it does this no matter what role he’s playing I’m guessing that’s just how his face is. It’s not his fault really and it’s almost certainly unintentional, but I’ve seen that snarl before and it does NOT belong on Mr. Knightley’s face.

   Don’t ever think I don’t LOVE Kate Beckinsale, and I don’t necessarily think that my problems with this interpretation of Emma are her fault; these things very rarely fall on the shoulders of the actual actors, but those of the screenwriters and directors who guide them. However – and I am aware that this might sound a bit harsh – I would say that at points, Kate Beckinsale’s performance in this movie (In my opinion) barely outstrips community theatre or even very good high school drama club level acting. It seems to me that there’s burden on her here to sound historical or period. This lends to this interpretation of Emma feeling at once both cold and childish (more on that later.)

Her best moments are when she runs into Jane as Jane is leaving Donwell and when she speaks with Robert Martin at the end of the film. I always like scenes where Emma tacitly apologizes to Mr. Martin, and her feeling when she invites him to Donwell is Kate’s finest moment in this movie.

I found Raymond Coulthard’s Frank Churchill insignificant at first, but on repeat viewings I really started to hate him. I don’t think Austen intended Frank’s caddishness (to use more modern vernacular I’d say he’s an utter “Douche”) to be quite this obvious on first glance. He’s a creep in this version and Raymond Coulthard is just not at all attractive to me, from his big nose to his little shark teeth.

Olivia Williams was a good, even great, Jane Fairfax, and in my opinion does a much better job of portraying Jane’s vexation than, say, Polly Walker did (more on that next time), while still quietly looking like she’d like to arm-bar Frank rather than take his vulgar teasing lying down.

She also has the distinction of being the only Jane Fairfax who’s singing REALLY blows Emma’s out of the water, and I like that all of the songs she sings are in languages other than English (primarily Italian I think?). This achieves the double whammy of showing how much more accomplished she is than Emma by emphasizing that not only does Jane sing and play better, but she knows languages too.

Samantha Morton is a superb actress whom I love and I was sort of appalled at how she looks in this movie. Is she dying of a wasting illness? She looks like a gust of wind will carry her away, although since she looked the same in the 1997 Jane Eyre (In which she played the title role under similarly appalling direction) perhaps that was just her look that year?

Dominic Rowan, as Mr. Elton, is… there’s a perfect word to describe it and I just can’t think of it right now. Like every other young man in this movie (other than Robert Martin) he’s got this feeling of skeeviness to me but it’s more than that. It’s a dweebie-ness as well. This is so dissatisfactory to me because Mr. Elton is supposed to have every appearance of charm and agreeableness, with his only obvious fault being his over-eagerness to ingratiate himself to Emma and some rather vulgar locker-room type talk about marrying for fortune. He’s just so… (I’ve hit upon it now after some discussion with my sister) dingy. He looks less like a “very handsome young man” who “knows the value of a good income” and more like the kind of guy that scrubs up okay, but still you can tell from the rumple of his clothes and the pizzaroni odor wafting from him that he lives in his mom’s basement.

The shining star for me in this production was Alistair Petrie as Robert Martin. I love him as an actor and especially after watching him in Cranford, I think he was an excellent choice for Harriet’s Mr. Martin.

Davies wrote the character to be a little more romantic (Actually buying Anne Radcliffe’s The Romance of the Forest, where originally Mr. Martin was supposed to forget to – something Emma uses as a mark against him to prove how he will age into an “gross vulgar old farmer” who is “obsessed with profit and loss”.)

I especially like an inserted scene where Mr. Martin, working in his field, sees a distressed Jane Fairfax from afar as she is walking home (I think from Donwell). I thought it drew an interesting parallel between two emotionally wronged characters that otherwise would have no interaction.

What’s with Mrs. Elton (Lucy Robinson)? I don’t think nearly enough people question this. I’ve seen it explained away as her being from Bristol and trying to make herself sound more hoity-toity to hide the fact that she’s New Money. I’m not positive on what a Bristol accent sounds like (For that is where Augusta Hawkins is from) but… this sounds like an American trying to sound posh. At some points she almost sounds Texan. It’s all very confusing, because the actress is British.  

Prunella Scales lists among her achievements being an outstanding actress and comedienne, as well as bringing into the world Samuel West, one of my all time favourite British screen crushes. She's probably best known for her work on Fawlty Towers, so its interesting to see her range as much less inscrutable Miss Bates. Her performance is by the book, but so much more engaging than Constance Chapman's 1972 offering, although i find her perhaps a shade too placid. She lacks a certain nervousness that I associate with the character (for more information, see my previous review.)

As for Bernard Hepton as Mr. Woodhouse, I can only say I. Didn’t. Like. Him. I have every consciousness of this being a personal bias. I have seen him play too many insufferable characters in too many things to like him as Emma’s lovable if tiresome father. This isn’t a knock on him or his performance; his reaction to Mrs. Elton is some great subtle visual comedy, this is just a me thing.

Another one of the better characterizations, though a relatively small role, is John Knightley. Played by Guy Henry, he is shown to be a good father, and an “Gentleman-like man”, with just the right blend of good humor and caustic comments.

Sets & Surroundings

I’d never paid MUCH attention to or questioned the houses and interiors used for estates in Austen adaptations until the 2020 version of Emma used such ridiculously lavish houses for relatively provincial gentry it forced me to sit up and pay attention. I think the houses used in this version are mostly suitable.

The part of Donwell Abbey’s exterior is played by Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire. The Key words for Donwell from the text are “rambling and irregular” and while perhaps not as big as the Former Claremont House (Which, it is believed, was Austen’s inspiration for Donwell Abbey) it definitely is a suitable architectural style and situation and furthermore, having been purchased in the 19th century by a glove manufacturer and having been up to that point left in a little bit of a state of disrepair, fits the “neglect of prospect” Austen describes as well. Its interiors are a cobble-work of the Great Hall at Broughton Castle (Oxfordshire), various rooms at Stanway House (Gloucestershire), and the Strawberry beds at Thame Park (Oxfordshire)

(Top, left – Sudeley Castle; Bottom left – Trafalgar Park; Right – Dorney Court)

Trafalgar Park in Wiltshire and its interiors (a minty sage-green drawing-room fitting in perfectly with the mint-chocolate – primarily chocolate – color palette of the production) played the role of the Woodhouse’s home, Hartfield. A typical Georgian style house in red brick, I believe is consistent with Austen’s description of a “well built, modern house”.

Dorney Court in Buckinghamshire was used for Randalls, Mr. Weston’s recently purchased estate. It’s a Tudor style red brick house and it looks pretty on the mark from the front facade, but I think it’s still too big for a “small estate” with only two guest rooms (Although there’s no panic about the snow in this version – perhaps because it’s already snowing when they set out.)

My biggest problem is the lighting of this movie. I understand natural lighting and I LOVE it when you can even it out – but it is so dark in the evening scenes that it adds to the colorlessness of an already colorless production.

Fashion

Oh Jenny Beavan. You are a well-respected costume designer with good reason. However, I know that most of these costumes are rentals, but why is every-fucking-thing in this movie a shade of brown, beige or green?

As you can see, a rich tapestry of brown and beige. And this isn’t selective. this is (just about) every day-wear outfit in the movie (barring repeats and a few exceptions that I’ll give mention to below.)

Emma’s outerwear is brought to you by Hershey’s Chocolate. Also I’m not certain but I think  that her light brown redingote is the same one as Elinor’s in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility? If anyone can confirm, drop it in the comments.

Perhaps the evening wear will be more colorful?

Barely – Mrs. Weston in a brownish orange; Mrs. John Knightley in an orange-ish brown; Emma gets a dark blue? Or is that just the wintery glow from the window on a dark green velvet? Green (either so dark it’s almost black, or washed-out mint) appears to be the only color Emma is allowed to wear other than brown or ivory/white. Even her gown for the Crown Inn Ball (upper right) is an underwhelming and rather dingy ivory. The champagne number she wears for Christmas at Randalls is not only lack-lustre, but also sports what I’m now calling a “Bridgerton Bust” (where the Empire waist comes up too high, with the seam apparently resting across her bust rather than under it.)

The pink frock (seen properly only from the back) on Mrs. Weston is as close to real color as a main character gets in this production, and can be recognized as one of Jane Bennet’s dresses from the previous year’s Pride and Prejudice.

Even Jane Fairfax doesn’t get a break. Rather than putting her in Jane Fairfax Blue ™ (honestly, Jane Fairfax being costumed in blue is so consistent at this point Crayola should just name a crayon in her honor - this is gonna come back in future reviews) she gets a black-green evening number with no trim at all, and a succession of what the Ladies over at Frock Flicks like to call the “Dumpy Regency Little White Dress”, or drab gray-blues.

Some of the background dancers in the Crown Inn Ball scene get to wear pink! Why not put Harriet in a nice pink frock for this scene?! Why is this so difficult?!

Strawberry picking at Donwell is the only time main characters are consistently wearing identifiable colors that aren’t brown or green: Mrs. Weston in pink, Miss Bates in (oddly the most colorful dress of them all) a nice refreshing lavender blue; Jane gets grey/blue and Mrs. Elton, a pastel mint. Harriet is also given a little break in Mrs. Elton’s introduction scene in a (very) pastel blue frock, while Emma sports white (with a trademark green shawl.)

So how about the...

Similarly dull. I almost screamed for joy when I saw that Frank’s jacket was actually blue, and a vibrant blue at that. (The red is too close to brown, I’m sorry.)

So yes, in short the costumes, while perfectly technically accurate (I didn’t get a lot of caps of them but the trousers sufficiently tight, not that I care to look), are drab as a peahen.

As always I’ll outsource any dancing critique by linking Tea With Cassiane on YouTube, since I find her insights on the approach to dancing in Austen adaptations just fascinating and I would like to share such witty and informed reviews.

The Andrew Davies of it All…

*Strong Opinions Ahead*

There are so many reasons why this adaptation isn’t for me. First of all the very idea of making Emma, one of Austen’s most socially complex works (certainly her most vivid) into a sparse 107 minutes is baffling to me. Perhaps I can understand if it’s a Theatrical release but this is a TV production. Why not at least make it a two part special?

And besides the issue that, in order to make this fit the time frame, the story is severely truncated, there’s… the Andrew Davies of it all.

I have some issues with Andrew Davies’ screenwriting for this adaptation particularly. A LOT of issues. Where does one start? I think Knightley is a good place.

It’s not just the casting I don’t like here; but it does say something to me that they chose Mark Strong for this role. It’s a casting decision I discovered with disbelief when I first saw clips from this version in a Period Drama men compilation video on YouTube. I mentioned above that I know Mark Strong as unpleasant characters with man-handling habits. That’s the kind of role Mark Strong is associated with because that’s just what he does well. And I think this played into the casting here, because Davies’ interpretation of Knightley is a bit… fierce. He shouts SO MUCH in this movie and in scenes like the Harriet Smith debacle (where Mr. Knightley of the book even gets a bit angry with Emma) I can understand this, perhaps. But in the book Mr. Knightley takes many pauses to collect and calm himself, because his goal is not to quarrel with Emma but to argue a point. 97 Knightley takes no such pauses and spends the whole scene in what some might call an escalating rage.

Knightley’s cheerful arrival to Hartfield to tell Emma that Robert Martin intended to propose to Harriet is cut out so we start right off with his indignant exclamation of “She refused him?!” and it’s all go from there. To make matters worse, Emma’s own arguments are crippled by Davies’ editing. Many of her more (what might even latterly be considered “feminist”) arguments are cut out. In fact once Knightley gets going, he juggernauts his way through all of his rebukes and speeches from the book, but Emma hardly gets a word in edgewise after arguing that Robert Martin is not Harriet’s equal. What Austen wrote as a heated debate is turned by Davies into a one-sided tirade. (By don’t take my word for it, watch the clip.)

The final cherry on top is having Emma, after Knightley leaves the room with the last word firmly in his grasp, childishly pout “You are wrong Mr. Knightley, and you will see you are wrong and then you will be sorry.” I half expected her to cross her arms and stomp her foot. Worth noting is the fact that Davies adds an additional “It was badly done. Emma,” in this scene where there was none in the book. Rather overkill to my mind. Is this his catchphrase?

At Box Hill, Davies has Knightley begin his climactic rebuke of Emma’s insulting behavior by grabbing her arm and hauling her aside, and concludes by leading her, still holding her arm, to the carriage. Well at least he doesn’t shout at her in this scene; but again, all but one of Emma’s responses are cut out and she stands there, pouting until Mr. Knightley leaves and then she bursts into tears.

When Mr. Knightly proposes to Emma I was feeling good about this scene, until he dropped the “I held you when you were three weeks old” line, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. Maybe you DON’T want mention how you held her when she was a baby after you asked her to MARRY you. But perhaps worse is Emma’s response to the line: “Do you like me as well now as you did then?”

Bringing up holding Emma when she was three weeks old at the proposal (A line which was not in the book) is bad enough but there seems to be a peculiar repeated emphasis on Knightley recalling Emma as a baby. He dragged it up previously when he and Emma make up after the Harriet debacle, as he holds John and Isabella’s baby daughter (whose name, I would mention, is Emma.) In this instance too, the line is a Davies addition.

Let’s talk about Knightley’s strawberry line.

This is delivered in voice-over as a transition to the strawberry picking party at Donwell, and is portrayed as a formal invitation: “Mr. Knightley invites you to taste his strawberries, which are ripening fast.”

At first I was confident that I was reading too much into this (but I think at this point I can safely say that I’m not). I can’t help bursting out laughing every time I hear that line. It was a questionable way to word that if you ask me, especially considering that this is (once again) NOT the line in the book, and it was NOT a formal invitation. It was said to Mrs. Elton and intended to be a joke.  

“You had better explore Donwell then,” replied Mr. Knightly “That may be done without horses. Come and eat the strawberries; they’re ripening fast.”

   ‘ If Mr. Knightly did not begin seriously, he was obliged to proceed so...’

   And here I thought Janeites hated adaptations that cut out “Miss Austen’s biting wit.”

To top it all off, we have Frank Churchill (Who I have already pointed out is a bit of a creep in this adaptation and even more detestable than he already was as Austen wrote him) praising Jane: this would be fine, if he wasn’t drooling into Emma’s ear about the turn of Jane’s throat, (He actually utters this line)

and how fine his dead aunt’s jewels will look against her skin. May I just be the first to say “Ehewhegaugh”.

I juxtapose this with the book where Frank's lines are almost exactly as Davies renders them, except Jane Austen never wrote the "have you ever seen such a skin?" Line. The difference i have highlighted in bold:

"... She is a complete angel. Look at her. Is she not an angel in every gesture? Observe the turn of her throat. Observe her eyes as she looks up at my father. --- You will be glad to hear that my uncle intends to give her all my aunt's jewels. They are to be new set. I am resolved to have some in an ornament for the head. Will it not be beautiful in her dark hair?"

Because talking about how pretty your fiancee's hair is, is normal and marginally less creepy than talking about what a fine skin she has or how lovely your (i cannot stress this part enough) dead aunt's jewels will look against it. Davies' script also makes no mention of having them reset, which makes me think he’s talking about the actual necklaces and bracelets Mrs. Churchill would have worn.

But hey, maybe its just a me thing.

Harriet Smith’s story suffers, primarily, I can with some candor admit, due to the time constraints. After Mr. Elton is married, we never see Harriet in any distress. It’s almost as though she’s forgotten all about it! Emma never has to appeal to her to exert herself or to move on. Perhaps this is better than Doran Godwin’s Emma gaslighting Harriet and manipulating her by constantly chastising her for… well general heartbreak (but that’s a bugaboo for a different review.)

My last complaint of note is that ludicrous harvest feast at the end of the movie. The whole concept of this scene just does not seem at all Janely to me. I was under the impression that I was meant to be watching an Austen. Not some bullshit Thomas Hardy knock-off. This is another Davies touch and I hate it more on the principal that it is one of his numerous, obsessive tweaks made solely to point out the existence of the lower classes.

If Davies wanted to show Mr. Knightley’s being an attentive landlord and gentleman farmer then I don’t see why he couldn’t just show Knightley actually running his farm?

“Okay’, you might say, “but I think the highlighting of the servants is to show how good Knightley is by treating them like real people compared to everyone else”, and I hear you. And in the situations where that is the case, like him greeting the Woodhouse’s butler and asking after his family I think that’s totally fine and in character. But things like the servants moving the knee cushions every time someone moves down the line at strawberry picking, to me, is AS ridiculous as the “servants clipping the lawn on their hands and knees with tiny scissors” trope. Like we get it, people took the lower classes for granted, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it would be easier and more realistic to have Mrs. Elton have to move her own knee cushion. I don’t think Knightley would instruct his servants, who he treats so well, to do that kind of thing, but you could write in Mrs. Elton’s expectation of it if you wanted. It seems like the kind of thing she would expect the landed gentry to do.

Screenwriter for some of the best loved Austen’s (including the sacrosanct 1995 P&P Mini-series and my favorite Sense & Sensibility), I thought of Davies for years as untouchable; until Sanditon happened and left everyone who knows anything about Jane Austen really wondering where this mess came from. I put it to you now that it was there in Davies all along.

Davies admitted, when talking about the drastic “Sexing Up” he did in Sanditon that he felt Austen’s works could have done with a bit more sex appeal. I can hardly disagree and additions like Darcy’s little swim in the pond and Edward Ferrars’ angsty wood-chopping are welcome and beloved. But it seems that what he really wanted all along was what he gave us in Sanditon; and finally, without actual source material to stand in his way, he had a chance let his dirty old man show and gave “Austen” the sexing up he thought it needed.

And it gets more troubling as you look back.

In my opening paragraph to this review I mentioned a 2008 blog post that not only agreed with me that there’s something very off about this screenplay, but gave me some possible insights as to why. It points out numerous things that I have always questioned in this version but have never seen anyone else criticize (though I am informed that more recently it has gained its’ share of critics). In fact the post itself actually points out that almost no one in the Austen Blog-sphere had (at that point) criticized this version’s faults in any meaningful way, but my favorite thing about it is that it points out what you find in Davies’ screenplay if you pay careful attention to it “Rather than sitting there and cataloguing what is “technically faithful and whatnot”.

Many Austen bloggers have kind of been playing Miss Taylor to Davies’ Emma for some two decades and change.

The most troubling thing of all is Davies own comments on Mr. Knightley (and other things, more inferred in his screen play). All of the aspects of this interpretation of Knightley that I mentioned earlier seem to stem from the fact that, as quoted in Sarah Caldwell’s book on his works, Davies thinks there’s “Something odd going on with Knightley.”

Davies clearly reads foul, or at least questionable, intentions in Mr. Knightley but I find it interesting that, rather than cutting out material he may have found troubling about Knightley in the book out of his screenplay, he doubled down by adding MORE troubling lines and situations (that were never in the book at all, and imagined solely by himself) in a romantic story with a happy ending.

Perhaps there’s not so much something odd going on with Knightley, Mr. Davies, but with you.

Final Thoughts

At this point I might ask what it is that everyone sees in this version that makes them think it’s so perfect, but that would be a bit pointless since all I’ve read since I discovered this version is people on elaborating on just that and I don’t care to hear much more.

“The lines are verbatim!” textually, perhaps, but it’s the ones that added that trouble me.

“The leads have so much chemistry!” I’m glad you think so, but I can’t find it.

“The costumes are damn near perfect!” And brown. So, so very brown.

As a 90's TV period drama, this version is pretty standard. It sticks to the book (except in those places where the screenwriter saw fit to dabble with some subtle but troubling suggestions about the characters.) And if it floats your boat, as always I'm glad it gives you what you want from the story.

I know I hold unpopular opinions on Jane Austen adaptations, and perhaps this is one of them, but every time I watch this version I feel the need to read the book as a cleanse. Perhaps Davies’s ferocious Knightley was simply a pendulum swing reaction to Douglas McGrath’s almost too laid back interpretation in the Miramax film from earlier in 1996, but even if that’s the case it’s just uncalled for and is my biggest turn off for this film.

Tone: 3

Ribbon Rating: Badly Done! (40 Ribbons)

Casting: 5

Acting: 6

Scripting: 4

Pacing: 2

Cinematography: 4

Setting: 3

Costumes: 5

Music: 2

Book Accuracy: 6

[dizzyingflicker]

frigid air (fic commentary)

literally no one asked for this but hello! hi! if you didn’t know, i wrote a 11 chapter fic called ‘frigid air’ a few weeks back. the fic started as jayhoon centric, but it kinda got off the rails from there hehe

the birth of the idea

so the bri from a few weeks ago was already thinking about writing a lengthy enha au. 

i just finished writing a jakehoon one shot and wanted to try my hand at writing another ship! at first, i thought of typical au ideas that were college themed. those are the most fun to write and read imo, bc it’s so grounded in reality. and also bc the jakehoon one shot i wrote was a lot heavier and angsty, which was something i think i’m better at doing! there’s this really great fic i read that inspired me to try my hand at some lighter themes! 

after reading that au, i was like “hmmmm im gonna try writing some romcom type of stuff.” i always ALWAYS write angst, so this was a really nice and fun change! 

yes, back to the college au ideas. i then began to think about what majors the enha kids would do if they went to college. my notes for the first outline kind of went like this: 

Jay - fashion major, new addition to the dorm, is rich but doesnt want anyone to know, is kind despite being taken advantage of in his hometown, just wants a normal family 

Heeseung - music production major, has a soundcloud lowkey but doesn't let anyone know, is going thru his first real heartbreak and is using music to deal with it 

Jungwon - hasnt decided on a major, came to uni w a full ride taekwondo scholarship, secret boyfriend, coming to terms w sexuality 

Jake - australian exchange student, architecture major, maybe gets a weird stalker? 

Sunoo - beauty school, wants to be a hairstylist, kinda eccentric, knows everyone’s business

Sunghoon - figure skater, doesnt go to school, is close to getting on the national team, lives in a dorm to avoid his tiger parents, softspot for his younger sister

Niki - dance major from japan, is a little too clingy, feels lonely away from his family 

in hindsight, the characters here seem a lot more deeper and fleshed out as compared to what i ended up writing, but i realized that if i kept all of this in - it would’ve been really overwhelming for the reader. i had to remind myself that this was a jayhoon centric fic LMAOOOOO 

after writing this, i was like “WAITTTT A HOT SEC” this sounds a lot like hello my twenties! which btw, is an amazing show on netflix that you should definitely watch. i watched this show with my girlfriend and man, the way it handled all of the a,b,c, etc plots was so fantastic. 

every character had their own stories and that’s what i loved. usually in fics or aus, a lot of the side characters sort of fade into the background. they also do this thing where their main reason for existence is to lift the mc or main ship up in the story. i wanted to avoid that, so taking inspo from hello my 20s, i decided to give every character a story. whether it be something big like sunoo’s stalker or something small like heejake’s and jungniel’s development, i wanted to give them all something to tell. in hello my 20s, each of the girs living in that house had their own unique stories that fit them really well. whether i did it as well as the writers of the show - that’s something else to unpack, right? 

the characters and their developments 

so this is something i’m not sure if i did well in or not. the original plot was to have jay and sunghoon not get along at all. with jay’s abrasiveness and sunghoon’s surface coolness, i thought it would be fun to see them butt heads. but i realized that it wasn’t so realistic because they don’t really see each other enough to butt heads that much. i thought making sunghoon shy and reserved (thus standoffish) while jay tries his best to make sunghoon open up was a lot more cuter. 

jay is a lot more bold in this, even through his embarassing moments. he’s self-assured, determined and open to pretty much anything. he’s generous and friendly. the only weakness jay has is he’s too presumptious sometimes and assumes stuff without any real basis, as seen with him assuming that ryujin and sunghoon were dating bc of a passing remark from jake and some yt comments. i gave him a dead dad at the end of the fic bc hello we’re projecting but also to explain why he’s super close to his mum and why he’s just a tad bit behind everyone else his age. i wanted to expand on this a little but sadly, i kinda ran out of words to talk about this. if you know what i mean. tbh, jay doesn’t have much of a development in this. that’s something i really want to improve on in my next au, giving my mc some actual development instead of getting carried away with other side characters. 

sunghoon is, as i said, shy and reserved. he has a lil trauma from being rejected by seon years ago. you can tell that his experience was not pleasant at all - so he keeps feelings of attraction and want farrrrrr away from him. sunghoon is sorry he’s an anti-romantic, if you will. throughout this fic, you see him open up to jay and realize that not every guy he’s attracted to will reject him painfully. he also learns that he doesn’t need to keep people at an arms length away and that opening himself up to more people will bring about very nice things! very cliche but hey, it iz what it iz. 

jungwon was a fun one to write! not bc i feel a little of what he feels, but bc he’s adorable with daniel and having him be unsure was fun to write. jungwon is pretty self-assured in this fic, but with daniel, he’s not really sure what he’s doing. 

heeseung feels secure enough with jake that he’s willing to sing in front of him, which is something he doesn’t do. jake is very naive about relationships and hee’s feelings for him, but heeseung kind of brings him down back to reality with the scene from han river. heeseung is getting over a breakup and that stuff takes a while, so that’s why i didn’t let them get together too fast. hee knows how jake feels about him and he doesn’t want to ruin it by jumping into things so fast. 

sunoo is super friendly and too trusting with people, which is both a blessing and a curse. niki and him have been attached to the hip since their friendship started and niki sees sunoo as a very very dear friend to him. bc who else lets him sleep in his bed and who else buys him taiyaki everyday? that’s right, it’s his sunoo hyung. sunoo also cares for niki a lot and they’re just very sweet. 

what i did well and what i didn’t 

okay this is debatable, but i did like how i wrote the developing relationships in this, mostly the ones that weren’t the main jayhoon arc. i liked the way i wrote jungwon and daniel’s little friction and i loved heejake’s confession scene. 

the humour in this was a little weak for me, but it was my first attempt at writing it so it’s forgivable. 

i just wished i wrote the main relationship better. i feel like it took a while at the beginning and suddenly went from 49 to 27403 real quick. if i were to rewrite it, i’d give them a lot more time to pine as that stage before friends and maybe insert more conflict. 

i’d give jay a stronger conflict other than trying to befriend with sunghoon. his character felt very 1d for me and i didn’t like that. i needed to develop him more tbh LMAOOO 

music! 

anti-romantic by txt

perhaps love by eric nam ft cheeze

love poem by iu 

give love by akmu 

hope ur ok by olivia rodrigo 

only yoou by yand da il 

references for sunghoon’s ice skating 

sunghoon’s white outfit in the youtube video with ryujin 

sunghoon’s black outfit in nationals 

the reference pic jay draws of sunghoon (which seon sees) 

if you read the fic, i’d like to say thank you! i had a lot of fun writing this and seeing everyone’s reactions to the plot twists was super fun hehehehe i genuinely loved doing it even tho it gave me a lot stress! thank u for reading this if u read it too LMAOOOOO 

[dweetwise]

a silly thing i wrote about felix and ace reacting to cheryl and feng dating <3 once again inspired by @skllyr‘s lovely art, along with my need to write a grumpy, overprotective felix.

ship(s): cheryl x feng, felix x ace warnings: none word count: 3020

Felix’s adventures in questionable parenting

“I'm… dating Min.”

From everything Felix expected to hear Cheryl say when she pulled him aside after a trial, this has to be the very last thing on his list.

It takes him a few seconds to even properly process the confession, and when he does, he's only more confused.

“Min? Feng Min?” Felix asks, baffled.

“Yeah…” Cheryl says, shuffling her feet self-consciously.

And Felix just stares, not having any idea how he's supposed to react to this information.

His not-quite-daughter but the closest thing he has to one in this world, dating one of the worst troublemakers Felix has ever met? The girl who has left him to die countless times and then made fun of him for getting killed afterwards? The one who bullies killer and survivor alike, having made even Leatherface cry mid-trial?

That Feng Min?

“I'll… give you some time to think about it?” Cheryl suggests when Felix is frozen in place for a whole minute.

He doesn't protest when she walks away, only gaping in confusion while trying to wrap his head around how on Earth the brilliant girl would ever fall for such a self-centered and obnoxious person.

Still, he decides he should get a second opinion.

So he seeks out Ace, partly because his boyfriend loves gossip, partly because he wants someone to tell him he’s not being ridiculous for disapproving of Cheryl’s terrible new girlfriend.

“Hey, handsome,” Ace greets him with a grin and a wink, but Felix doesn’t have time for flirting.

“Cheryl just told me she's dating!” Felix exclaims, fully expecting Ace to be just as shocked as him.

“Huh,” Ace says instead, not looking the least bit surprised. “Good on her for finally telling you.”

“Wait—you knew?” Felix asks.

“Honey, half of the fricking camp knew,” Ace snorts. “I've seen them holding hands and making o—”

Upon Felix's scandalized expression, Ace interrupts himself.

“—ooaan effort to get to know each other?” the man finishes instead, complete with a sheepish grin.

“And you're okay with this!?” Felix demands, astonished that his boyfriend not only knew, but didn’t think it was big enough of a deal to tell Felix about. He knows Ace isn't as close to Cheryl as him, but the gambler has also taken the girl under his wing following Felix's lead, always calling her "kiddo" and going out of his way to protect her in trials.

“If she's happy, who cares?” Ace merely shrugs, infuriatingly carefree as always.

“I care!” Felix protests. “Feng is a mean person and not suited to be in a relationship before she fixes her attitude! She's going to be terrible for Cheryl—you know how sensitive she can be!”

“Opposites attract, babe,” Ace smirks, placing a hand on Felix's knee.

The gesture manages to calm Felix after his little outburst, and he pauses to consider that maybe Cheryl and Feng aren't that different from him and Ace. He knows Cheryl is almost just as reserved as him, slow to make friends and needing time to come out of her shell. If she has taken to Feng just as Felix did to Ace, against everyone's expectations, he should respect her decision. A small smile spreads over his face as he places his hand on Ace's, realizing that maybe they're not as different as he thought—

Well. There's the notable exception that Ace isn't a complete bitch to everyone around him.

“But nobody even likes Feng!” Felix continues his rant, making Ace snort and shake his head in amusement.

“I like her,” Ace points out.

“You like everyone,” Felix huffs, rolling his eyes, annoyed at how difficult Ace is making it for him to be a judgmental bastard.

“Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine today,” Ace grins, pinching his cheek. “I know you’re not Feng’s biggest fan, but you should give her a chance. For Cheryl.”

“I know,” Felix sighs in defeat. “God, I hate it when you're right.”

The following day, Felix approaches Cheryl when the camp is mostly empty, fully intending to at least appear supportive despite his justified concerns. But as he tries to tell Cheryl he’s happy for her and thinks they’re a good couple, the girl isn’t having any of it.

“For someone who lied his entire life, you sure are shit at it,” Cheryl huffs, the unexpected honesty catching Felix off guard. “Now tell me what you really think.”

He always forgets that she’s much more perceptive than her years would suggest, able to read Felix better than people twice her age.

“I… don't think she's good for you,” Felix confesses hesitantly.

“Why?” Cheryl prods, her determined gaze practically boring into his soul and making Felix feel incredibly small. When he’s quiet, not able to decide how much he should say, she continues impatiently. “Come on—you can't just say that and not give any reasons!”

“I don't want to be mean,” Felix says, pretending like he hasn’t been secretly shit-talking the gamer for the last twenty-four hours.

“I told you, be honest,” Cheryl pushes.

“Alright,” Felix sighs, before taking a deep breath. “I think she's a horrible teammate, and not a good person. She's unpredictable and a bad influence, and I don't know what you see in her.”

Instead of being upset, Cheryl huffs and cocks her hips, raising an eyebrow.

“Really?” the girl asks.

“Um… yes?” Felix hesitates under her strangely calm demeanor.

“And that isn't a bad influence?” Cheryl asks, nodding somewhere behind Felix, who turns and sees—

Ace, who looks to be eating the contents of a toolbox.

“Ace!” Felix hisses. “Excuse me,” he says to Cheryl, who merely snorts in amusement, Felix hurrying over to his boyfriend making an idiot out of himself in front of some of the others.

“Uh-oh, mom's here,” Nea snarks when he approaches the scene, Meg giggling next to her at the joke.

Ace offers Felix a wave and something that might be considered a smile, if his mouth wasn't stuffed to the brim with mechanical equipment. And to add insult to injury, he adds another grimy gear into the mix from the toolbox.

“What the hell are you doing?” Felix demands.

Ace holds up a finger, wordlessly telling him to wait while inserting yet another brand new part, grimacing as he tries to fit it into his mouth.

“We have a bet, shoo,” Meg explains, shoving at Felix who is blocking her view of the occurring trainwreck.

“What could you possibly have bet that warrants this kind of idiotic—” Felix starts, annoyed.

“We bet five keys he couldn’t fit ten brand new parts in his mouth,” Nea explains.

“And he took it?” Felix exclaims, glancing at his boyfriend who, somehow, seems way too pleased with himself considering the situation. “Of course he did,” Felix sighs in fond annoyance, wondering why he’s even surprised at this point.

Suddenly, he remembers Cheryl, turning around to address her only to find her gone.

There’s a high-pitched laugh from the other side of camp, Felix recognizing the grating sound even before he sees its culprit, eventually spotting Feng Min and Cheryl standing next to each other with Feng… laughing at Cheryl and hitting her arm?

“Find me when your mouth isn’t occupied,” Felix sneers in Ace’s direction, annoyed at how the entire thing turned out, Cheryl not heeding his warnings and immediately going back to Feng—

And then Meg bursts into another fit of giggles and even Ace barks out something that might be a laugh.

“Woah dude, TMI!” Nea jokes, putting her hands over her ears with a shit-eating grin.

And Felix finally realizes the joke.

“Not like that!” he insists, feeling heat creep up his neck from embarrassment. “To talk! Nothing else!”

“Oh, like all the times you’ve disappeared to ‘talk’ even in the middle of a trial—” Meg starts.

“I’m leaving!” Felix announces, ducking his head to feebly try to hide his blush while stomping away from the group and their filthy minds.

He ends up at his and Ace’s shared space away from the campsite, sitting next to the overflowing trunk of items while absently picking at some prayer beads attached to a broken key.

“I’m here!” Ace’s voice eventually announces. “What were your other two wishes?”

Felix snorts and doesn’t even look up, continuing to fiddle with the item in his hands.

“Did you win?” Felix asks, spinning one of the beads around its axis.

“Ta-dah!” Ace declares, squatting down in front of him to show him a handful of skeleton and dull keys. Felix hums in acknowledgement, still lost in thought, and Ace carelessly dumps the items into the trunk before sitting down next to him.

“So, how'd it go with Cheryl?” Ace asks, wiping some residual oil from the corner of his mouth following his bet.

“Well… I may have told her I don't like Feng,” Felix reluctantly confesses.

“I… okay,” Ace says, clearly fighting a smile at Felix’s social incompetence. “It’s… good that you were honest?”

“Why does that sound like a question?” Felix says, sulking.

“Aww baby, don’t pout,” Ace says, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. “I know you tried your best. We can tell her together, if you want. Just to make sure she knows you support her!”

“Thank you,” Felix murmurs, leaning his head on Acer’s shoulder. At least he has Ace, who despite his eccentric personality is always there for him.

If only Cheryl would also have the same kind of support from her partner.

“What the hell does she see in Feng, anyway?” Felix mutters, not able to stop himself from engaging in another round of shit-talk.

“Well—” Ace immediately starts.

“That was a rhetorical question,” Felix snaps without any actual heat. “She couldn't have chosen worse if she tried.”

“Oh, I don't know about that,” Ace grins. “What about, say… Élodie?”

Felix can't help the disgusted face he makes. No matter how much he pretends for the sake of keeping up appearances, he still doesn't like the Frenchwoman.

“Or David?” Ace eggs on.

“Oh, god,” Felix says, shuddering at the thought. “I see your point—”

“Legion?” Ace continues.

“Shut up! I get it, I get it! Feng is fine,” Felix says, going back to his brooding.

“You're not… upset with this whole thing because Feng's a girl, right?” Ace asks, his good-natured smile masking something unpleasant.

“What?” Felix balks. “Oh, heavens, no!” he hurries to explain. “After what I went through with my—ehm, sex… s-sexuality—” he stutters, still not comfortable talking about the subject when it comes to his own preferences, even in the arms of his very male partner.

But judging someone else for theirs? He wouldn't even dream of it.

“If anything, I'm just happy she's figured it out so early,” Felix admits.

“Okay, good! So Feng—” Ace starts excitedly.

“Is still on my shit list, regardless of her gender,” Felix deadpans.

Ace sighs and holds his hands up in defeat.

“Well, I tried,” the gambler says, before a familiar smirk appears on his features. “Now give me a smooch.”

“While you taste like a ten-year-old toolbox? In your dreams,” Felix huffs, curling up against the man instead in an attempt to save his tastebuds.

Finding the right opportunity to pull Cheryl aside seems to prove difficult, as any time Felix spots her she’s either with Feng or Ace is stuck in a trial. And after his previous failure, Felix isn’t ready to try confronting the girl alone.

But the Entity always seems to have a strange sense of humor or just impeccable timing, because after just a few short days Felix finds himself materializing at the pre-trial campfire with not only Ace and Cheryl but also Feng, all standing in a neat little row like the Entity placed them there purely to annoy him.

Great; just great. Just because Felix begrudgingly accepts the gamer, doesn't mean he wants to spend time with her. He’s been lucky to avoid any trials with her ever since Cheryl’s confession, but of course this would be the time they’re put together in one, when he’s supposed to have a heartfelt conversation with his foster daughter.

It’s a while before anyone says anything, Ace looking at Felix expectantly, Cheryl avoiding eye contact with Felix, and Feng clicking her flashlight in an annoying habit.

“Let's go, lesbians!” Ace eventually cheers, trying to muster up enough excitement to break the awkward silence.

“Try to actually do gens this time instead of just jacking off into chests,” Feng snarks just as the fog sets in.

And even though Felix knows she’s right and Ace could afford to do a lot less looting, he still shoots her an annoyed glare for daring to insult his partner, right as the fog takes him.

The trial starts much smoother than expected. The Hillbilly seems to be focused on chasing Ace and Cheryl, and Felix manages to get two generators done in between unhooking and healing them. Feng, as is typical of her, sticks purely to generators instead of going for any altruism for the first half of the trial, but then pulls through and unhooks Cheryl from the proxy camping killer.

And then the gamer proceeds to lead him straight to Felix’s generator.

As Felix is hoisted up on a hook, the last generator gets done. Felix doesn’t mind being hooked since it’s his first, more than happy to buy his two teammates dead on hook some time to escape, but he sure as hell isn’t happy with how the thing panned out.

Right as Cheryl is chased out of an exit by the killer, the Entity’s claws descend on Felix in the second phase of the sacrifice process. Ace, injured, is making his way over from the other side of the map, but he barely makes it halfway before he runs into the killer chainsawing across the map.

Felix curses under his breath, annoyed over dying on his first hook because of the selfishness of one of his teammates. Maybe Cheryl will finally see Feng’s true colors, seeing as even now the girl is just—

—running to unhook him at the last second?

The gamer doesn’t offer an explanation, merely grunting from exertion when she pulls his larger frame off the hook while Felix just gapes in confusion.

“Run, you fucktard!” Feng screams when Felix takes half a second longer than she’d like to take off in a sprint.

Luckily the killer still seems occupied with Ace and isn’t returning to defend the exit, and they manage to make it there with plenty of time to spare before the Entity forcibly ends the trial. Felix is just about to suggest they leave to give Ace a chance at the hatch, when he hears the chime of said hatch being opened with a key, signaling the man’s escape.

Now just the two of them remaining in the trial, standing in the safety of the exit gate, Felix sees an opportunity and takes it.

“Thank you for the rescue,” he says, but doesn’t get an answer, Feng merely glancing at him in distrust before looking away. “I don't know if Cheryl told you, but—” he starts, wanting to clear the air.

“You were a cunt about us dating?” the girl snarks, crossing her arms. “She mentioned it, yeah.”

“I see,” Felix says, cringing from embarrassment. “I guess I never realized how much you do for the team—and especially for Cheryl. I'm sorry.”

“Ugh, spare me the fucking sob story,” Feng scoffs. “I'm gonna be with her regardless, but you not acting like a bitch about it will make Cheryl happy. So… I guess it's fine.”

She's crossing her arms and looking away in a gesture of indifference, but is also hiding her reddening cheeks behind her bangs and showing a side of her Felix has never seen before.

“Truce?” Felix asks.

Feng looks at him warily, but then she smirks.

“Only because I could kick your ass any day.”

Felix finds himself huffing out a small laugh in amusement, and when the killer finally comes to chase them out, he’s not even annoyed at the girl’s obnoxious crouching and taunts.

As soon as they make it to the other side of the invisible threshold of the trial grounds, Cheryl and Ace are there waiting for them.

“There you are!” Ace scolds while Cheryl looks between the two, hesitant. “I thought you'd killed each other!”

"We had to stay to say bye to Billy,” Feng says.

And then Cheryl comes up to her and grabs her hand.

“Thank you,” she whispers with a happy smile, and Feng bristles like an angry cat.

“I don't know what you're talking about!” Feng exclaims and stomps further away in embarrassment, tugging Cheryl along with her.

Meanwhile, Ace sidles up to Felix, giving him a wink.

“I told her everything,” Ace explains. “And I also mentioned Feng saved you. You ever consider Cheryl might be a good influence on her, instead of the other way around?”

'No,' Felix should say if he were being completely honest.

“I still don't like her,” Felix says instead.

“Aww, it's okay," Ace says, before turning to where the girls are walking ahead of them, chatting away. "We make a good team, don't we kids?” Ace calls, smirking.

“Sure, grandpa,” Feng shoots back.

Ace gasps in shock and Cheryl has the audacity to snicker, pulling Feng along by her sleeve to continue their conversation in private.

“Well?” Felix prods, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh this means war,” Ace says with a mischievous grin.

When his lover leans in to whisper about replacing all of Feng's skeleton keys with broken ones, Felix feels a smirk tugging on his lips. Even if he no longer minds them being together, he can at least get petty revenge for all the times the gamer has been less than polite to him.

Smiling pleasantly as his boyfriend goes on in detail about putting bugs in the gamer’s toolbox and other practical jokes, Felix decides that if worse comes to worst, he can always just blame Ace for being a bad influence.

[emilycollins00]

I read the Omi fic you wrote and I absolutely adore it!! The longing and Omi just saying that he wants to fall difkskcna I am weak ❤️❤️ if you’re still doing requests, could you do one where you get caught in the rain with Itaru and/or Omi? And he just realized his feelings for you? Maybe even telling you if he was feeling brave enough? 👀❤️

Really? Thank you so much! 💕 Aaah I actually enjoyed writing that one! It was supposed to have been a fluffy one but the more I wrote the more I wanted to end in a bittersweet ending. 

For your request, dear, I decided to do both because we deserve it, don’t we?  💕 Really hope you all like it. Enjoy!

Omi and Itaru caught in the rain with reader and confessing

-

Omi

You hadn’t expected rain

Just like destiny likes to play, even though Omi had, he ended up next to you

You two talk for a bit

Omi doesn’t look like it but is SO nervous

He had resolved to tell you his feelings about you

Maybe this was his chance?

You two share a moment

He’s so enchanted with you he can’t help it

Insert cute kiss scene

You cursed as you looked around you.

Opposite to what you had expected when you woke up, it felt like the sky was not in the mood and had decided to let everything go. You had barely had time to run to a near gazebo and you were pretty much drenched.

Pulling out your phone, you texted your family, telling them you would arrive late from university. Just as you were considering running to buy an umbrella, a gentle but strong voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Y/N?”

“Omi?”

He smiled warmly as he left his bag on the floor “Didn’t think I will meet you in this weather, you left class earlier than me”

Omi was a colleague from university, so it was more than likely that the rain had also shocked him “Still got caught up in the rain. Should have check the forecast before going out without an umbrella”

He laughed as he stood next to you, shirt stuck to his skin, making you avert your eyes embarrassed “It’s too windy, not sure if it would have helped you” Omi looked down at his own broken umbrella.

“Yikes”

Knowing it would probably take a while for the rain to slow down, you both started talking about your failed plans for the day. Some light conversation. You were pretty good friends.

…Maybe that’s why no one would have guessed Omi was feeling a wrecked mess as he explained to you the way Mankai’s laundry worked on raining days.

For someone as attentive towards others as he was, people tended to mark him as dense he when regarding his own feelings.

And maybe they had been right. Until now, he had always felt at ease with you, and tended to text and call you to get together after university or rehearsals, but he only realized how ridiculously strong his non-platonic feelings were for you when the dorm called out for it a few days ago.

“You leaving, Omi?” before the young man could answer to Izumi, Taichi shouted from the couches something about being lucky to go on dates. He chuckled.

“I’m just meeting with Y/N”

Yuki rolled his eyes next to the red-head “It’s the same thing, you guys are practically a couple at this point”

“Uh?”

“Good for you, Omi-san! I also want someone as nice as Y/N someday…!”

“Ey, don’t stop sewing”

“S-sorry, Yuki-chan!”

After thinking deeply about it, the realization hit him like a punch in the face, overwhelming how strong he actually felt. Omi didn’t remember the last time he had tried to grow as close to someone as he had been trying with you.

Whenever you smiled, whenever you giggled, he felt the luckiest person for being able to share those moments with you “This is kind of nice” Omi couldn’t help but enjoy the coincidence of being with you more time than he had expected that day. He heard you laughing softly.

“You like being stuck in the rain? That’s so like you”

He blushed lightly, scratching his neck. He hoped his nerves weren’t showing too much “You could say that. Rain also has its charm”

“I guess you’re right” you breathed into your hands, trying to warm them up. Seasons were in process of changing and temperatures had been dropping last few days.

“Ah, here”

Before you could react, Omi had given you his right glove. You turned to look confusedly at him; all he did was smile kindly back at you “You are cold, right?”

Shyly, you did as told and wore it. Opening your mouth to thank him, you didn’t expect his next movement to be him taking your left naked hand into his. Your blood rose to your cheeks. You couldn’t help but look away self-consciously. Was this normal for him?

No, it wasn’t. Had you looked at him, you would have gaped at the gleam and longing in his caramel eyes directed to you. Instead, you gazed off into the distance after a few seconds, enjoying the sound of rain with a small smile.

“It is kind of nice”

Omi’s heart squeezed at your statement. He noticed how small your hands were now that your palms were pressed into his. Omi took a breath, showering you again with the gentlest eyes you had seen.

“I like you, Y/N”

And Omi’s heart almost stopped when he felt you squeezing his hand. As you looked up at him with such an inviting warmth. You did not move and so, he drew closer, you both shivering, not because of the cold this time.

The kiss had been red, blazing fire, yet gentle, like the rain surrounding you  

After it, you parted, keeping mere inches away from one another, staring into each other’s eyes. When a sudden thunder caused you both to jumped and therefore breaking the contact, you laughed at the timing.

“I like you too, Omi”

Looks like rain really had its own way of helping create new starts.

-

Itaru

It wasn’t the first place you had expected to be in the morning

Being in the middle of the rain

If only you hadn’t taken the phone

Itaru knows that

He’s still struggling to make his move

But you two are alone

And words somehow come out weird

Not his fault, he had never been one to do romantic confessions

Thank good you help him on the way

“You just had to ask me to accompany you to buy a new game” you grumbled while squeezing the water out of your shirt.

The air was already humid, and you tried to embrace yourself as you glanced at your companion. Itaru frowned and shook his head, spraying droplets of water at you.

You were in bed when you got a call from him, telling you to go with him to buy the new console that came out that day. You found it weird, but living around the district, you shrugged and decided to do it.

He had been so busy with rehearsals you two had barely seen each other anyway

You glanced around, admiring how much rain had appeared out of nowhere. The weather cast hadn’t said anything about it “When do you think it will stop pouring?”

“Hopefully soon, I want to get back home”

“We could always make a run for it”

Itaru watched you as if you had grown another head “Y/N, I am not taking chances on getting wet the new console. Do you know how valuable this is?” he caressed the object, paying no attention at your judging looks

“You are such a pain, Itaru”

Quietly, you unconsciously started getting close to him, probably in need of warmth. Itaru noticed it and stood straighter. No one said a word for a while, until the blond glanced at you  

“…Didn’t think you would show up”

“Why?”

“Who in their right mind would be up at this time? Well, except for Tasuku who is probably training in this weather…scary”

“Itaru, you called me”

“And you responded and came so, who’s the weird one?”

He was trying to be subtle, but you saw how his words lacked his usual playfulness. You stopped leaning on him and placed your back on the walls of the shop. You didn’t respond, watching as he read the back of the game, humming  “What’s wrong, Itaru?”

He didn’t lift his head “I’m just pissed for not bringing an umbrella so I can go back home and play? We already talked about that”

“…It’s that it?”

At the sound of your concerned voice, he lifted his head and gave you a small smirk that didn’t reach his eyes

If Itaru were to say, he had never really been bothered about love and relationships before he finally noticed his growing crush on you. Which had been the worst at the time, honestly.

You were a good friend, why try to change your relationship?

However, he couldn’t help but want to be something more. If only he was good at handling emotions, it would have been great.

How did people find the courage to confess? One thing was otome games, but real-life confrontation was something he didn’t think he would have to do. He had always been at the receiving end of a confession.

Therefore, he wasn’t sure how to start “Guess I also felt like meeting with you” Turning his head slightly “I have missed seeing that face of yours lately”

You couldn’t help but blink, not knowing where those words came from, heartbeat speeding up “That almost looked like a confession”

“…”

“Are you blushing?”

“No”

“You are. Wait, were you serious just now?”

You froze. He saw you processing everything and sighed “You don’t have to say anything, you know, I just needed to say it or I might lose it. Confessing is not for me”

The way he expressed his real feeling made you laugh, breaking the first stupor. Smiling, you bumped your shoulders with his “Then… I appreciate the effort, might take you up on that confession even”

Itaru laughed “Might?”

You smiled back, your faces getting closer and closer. Itaru leaned down, slowly, as if waiting for your rejection, before finally pressing his lips to yours

It hadn’t been a bad idea to get stuck in the rain after all

________________________________________________________

Hope you guys liked it too, have a wonderful day! 💕

[imagineimaginethat]

It’s Hard to Believe

Reader Insert Fic

Prompt: Shingen thinks you’ve died, but finds out you’re still alive

Main pairing: Shingen/Reader, but other characters are there too

Inspiration: Coming up for Air by Signals in Smoke

Trigger warnings: MC death (temporarily), Sad vibes (happy ending though), memory loss 

Shingen was desperate when he realized you had been kidnapped. The day had been so normal, no whispers, not even so much as a cloud in the sky. You had gone into town, more than likely to get fabric or just stretch your legs. Shingen had declined to go, he had so much work to do. Had he known.... had he only known how much danger you were in he would have never let you out of his sight for even a fraction of a moment. Your captors had been slick, but you had experience with these sort of situations, unfortunately. You left one sandal in the marketplace which tipped off Sauske when he and Yukimura went searching for you. Shingen didn’t hesitate to have as many men as possible look for you. He even sent a letter to Nobunaga who immediately wrote back that one, he would spare nothing in the search to find you, and two, he had no connection to your kidnapping.

Finally, after over two weeks had gone by with everyone worried sick, Mitsuhide picked up on something. Sauske followed up on the lead and sure enough found you. Unreachable and locked away in a dank moldy prison cell by a captor with a mean vendetta against the Takeda and Oda alliance in Kai. You hadn’t been given any food in your time there and very little water, Sauske knew time was of the essence and communicated that to the warlords. They mobilize quickly. Their frantic efforts made them more reckless than ever. The enemy knew they were coming. Shingen and Nobunaga reached you a split second too late. As they slid the door open your captor held you at arms length away on the edge of an open window which faced the edge of a towering cliff. You could struggle, one step would have sent you over the edge.

“Let’s see how well the Takeda and Oda clans cooperate now.”

And just like that you were dropped into the night. Shingen and Nobunaga raced over to find nothing but pitch black darkness. Yukimura was at his Lord’s side in seconds, stopping him from diving after you. It was dark, surely a search by the shore would be more fruitful. Kenshin arrived shortly after along with the other warlords and vassals. Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi were quick to have the captor escorted to a prison in Azuchi. They were anxious to get on with the search for you more than anything though.

All of the men, vassals, soldiers, and warlords alike spent all night searching for the lovely Princess from the Oda clan that had been so kind and helpful everywhere she went. It didn’t matter which side they were on usually all that mattered was finding you.

The water was frigid, if you were there you didn’t have much time. They all knew how perilous cold waters could be in the winter.

So, when the first rays of dawn reached into the sky and a somber Masamune came from the bank of the rushing river where jagged rocks lined the shoreline with a beautiful, but blood stained and soaking wet kimono, all hope drained from the search party.

He handed it off to Shingen to inspect to make sure it was yours. He already knew it was though, no one else made such lovely things. He closed his one eye walking into Ieyasu on his way back to the horses, he managed to put his hand on his shoulder and shake his head once.

“The little lass is gone.”

They knew times were rough. The world was dangerous, but they never truly prepared themselves to lose you. Even if you had one day disappeared back to wherever you came from they could dream, imagine, you were off on some adventure in your strange clothes using the strange terms that you and Sauske often used and you were alright.

Shingen looked away from everyone, but he was not quick enough to hide his tears from Yukimura who didn’t have any words for his grief stricken Lord. He looked to Sauske who seemed to have a shadow on his face. Yukimura could barely breathe when it came crashing down on him.

He could only manage to say two words:

“She’s gone.”

Coming in like a wild boar from the middle of nowhere, it was like a gaping hole had been left in his heart. He didn’t even know what to think. What had been the last thing he said to you? Was it something rude? What if you two had last argued? He tried to think but his brain refused to work.

Shingen remembered his last words to you with perfect clarity, it replayed in his mind over and over again.

“Shingen I’m going to the market, would you like to come with me?”

“Oh, wonderful goddess it pains me not to spend another moment more with you, but I must finish this work. Oh, to decline the offer to accompany an angel, I promise to make up for my absence at your side after dinner.”

“That’s alright Shingen, you don’t have to lay it on so thick, I’ll see you when I get back. Love you!”

“You are my heart.”

He should have went. He didn’t go and now he’d never be able to make it up to you, he’d never see her again, he would never love again. His heart stopped the when your  kimono was handed to him, it began to slow the minute you were thrown from the window. Maybe if he had dived after you? Had he arrived earlier? Had he taken less men? Perhaps if he had acted sooner? Maybe he should have waited?

Shingen played a million scenarios in his mind, but not a single one ended with you in his arms, he simply couldn’t imagine it. Even when he was at his very sickest, never then had he known such an ill than the one he felt holding the bloody kimono in his hands. It was cold and wet and he had a feeling the icy waters had taken your body far from him.

Shingen mourned for weeks. Everything reminded him of you. The snow, the moon, flowers, beautiful kimonos, none as beautiful as the ones you made, be wore nothing but the gifts you had made for him, and there was no consoling him. Yukimura spent his time divided between sitting with Shingen in silence, sitting with Sauske in silence, and finally sitting alone.

Kenshin drank alone bitterly, his sword aching to be used, but he had lost the motivation to wield it. The light of his castle was gone. He didn’t even realize how bright you had been while you were here, and now that you were gone it was as though someone put out every flame in sight. Not even the sun was warm or bright enough to break up the darkness.

In Azuchi the captor was executed. It didn’t make anyone feel any better though. They pushed themselves into their work even more than before. The Oda and Takeda alliance in the name of peace didn’t fall apart, but it wasn’t nearly as warm. Your old room was like a haunting memory of the time you spent there on visits and the short time you spent living with the Oda forces.

Nobunaga ran things as normal, but it was obvious losing you had hurt him in a way that seemed to be unfamiliar to the warlord. He knew loss, he had seen it, had felt it, but this... he didn’t know what to call what he was feeling.

You were gone.

Or so it seemed.

You were not actually dead, incredibly lost, suffering from a terrible head injury in a remote village? Yes, but fortunately very much so still alive. You remembered little tidbits of your early life and fragments from your time in this era. You would remember something every now and then at random, such as Sauske’s ground spikes and Shingen’s beautiful face. However, you didn’t actually remember their names and so the kind villagers who had found your body in the water thought you were delirious and did their best to nurse you back to health. This had been well over a month ago, but you weren’t sure when or how you had gotten so lost, sick, and beat up.

You were extremely grateful for everyone’s hospitality, but you wanted answers and to also get back to your old life as soon as possible even if you didn’t remember much of it.

One day one of the familiar faces you remembered came to town. The one with white hair and golden eyes like a fox.

His eyes widened upon seeing you.

“Y/N?”

“Hello,” you greeted him respectfully, not familiarly at all, “I’m afraid I know your face, but not who you are. I think I was in some sort of accident.”

Seeing you is literally like seeing a ghost. Not even Mitsuhide can hide his shock.

He could see that you were still very much so in recovery and the journey back to either lands that you once called home would not be best for you. Instead he did what he seemed to be the right course of action and promised you he’d send word to others that knew you well so that they could possibly help you. He sent two messengers, one to the Takeda forces, and one to the Oda forces to meet him in the village immediately due to a dire emergency. He didn’t include your name in it as he was afraid it would be picked up by someone that might have meant you well. He was not going to risk losing you again. Sauske was first to arrive on the scene as Kenshin’s right hand ninja.

When he saw you by the water washing clothes he thought for sure he was hallucinating. When he saw Mitsuhide, who had awaited their arrival rather impatiently, was looking at you as well, he raced over to you. When all you could give him were fragments of your time together his heart ached deeply, but the hole that was there from thinking you were dead had begun to be mended upon sight of you.

The rest of the Oda forces and Kenshin arrived next. They were quick with their greetings. You were happy to see them all, you remembered few scarce moments with them and admitted this, claimed you knew they had to be important to you because of how well you could remember their faces and random things about them. Kenshin demanded you never die again, which you didn’t fully understand, promised him to live for as long as you could.

Shingen hadn’t been out of Kai for a very long time. Not since you had left his world.

He and Yukimura took it slow, trusting whatever emergency lied ahead wasn’t totally out of control.

When Shingen first saw the quaint little village he smiled to himself, “she would have loved it in a place like this.”

“She loved it everywhere,” Yukimura tried to joke, “as long as you were there, she’d have gone anywhere and said it was nice.”

Shingen smiled at Yuki’s attempt to cheer him up. He rode slowly into the village and came upon the huddle of Oda forces, who upon seeing him began to disperse like a parted river. Shingen was not expecting what he saw before him. Never in a million years did he dare to think he’d see you again.

And yet, here you are. Smiling as though the world wasn’t dark, as if it hadn’t be cruel, and a place embedded with great pain and suffering.

When you saw Shingen, something in your mind tried to click, but refused. At once you felt overcome with emotions as tears sprang to your eyes.

He embraced you so carefully, as if you were an escaped dream brought to life for only but a moment. He could t bring himself to move or let go.

“My angel has flown back to me.”

“I don’t know your name, or as much as I think I should know about you, I’m so sorry. I know you mean a lot to me, I just can’t-”

“That’s alright.” Shingen placed a hand on your head, stroking your hair, “you being here right now is more than enough. You can come to remember me again slowly or we can make all new memories, as long as you’re alive that’s alright.”

You agreed to go back to living in Kasugayama after Ieyasu gave you his doctors okay with more than a few seemingly unnecessary herbs, ointments, and other medicines. You were sure this was how he showed you he cared.

Back in the castle you began to remember things a bit more, specific moments In time. Major parts of your time there were still fleeting which was frustrating. You and Shingen grew close again and he never left your side, when he absolutely had to Sauske or Yuki were assigned to watch you, and they tools this job seriously. You thought they were overreacting until Sauske broke down and told you all that had happened to you. With his refresher you remembered a few other times you had been kidnapped, but not the time he was specifically talking about, you weee kind of grateful for that.

Shingen spent time with you, he didn’t dwell on what you didn’t remember, just as he promised you began to make new memories. It was well into spring at this point and you were even more certain you were in love with him and glad to be so. Shingen didn’t push or prod about old memories he just patiently waits for days when you come bursting in and asking if he remembered something like attending a festival or a very specific conversation you’d both had. He’d happily confirm that he did in fact remember it and fill in any small gaps. He never tried to sugar cost things either, he told things as they happened. As nice as it would be to paint everything in beautiful strokes of never ending happiness that wouldn’t be real, and what the two of you have deserves nothing less than pure honesty and authenticity.

One day, Shingen was accompanying you to the market when you saw a beautiful fabric. It was the very same one you had seen the first time went somewhere with you. That same wonder filled your eyes and he smiled prepared to offer to buy it all over again. He wondered to himself if you’d make the same thing once again. However it was as though the fabric was woven together by memories, when you touched it, suddenly everything came flowing back. With each memory more and more tears began to fall. You held onto Shingen tightly and he was silent.

You bared your entire soul to him, from your first memories to your last, from Azuchi to Kasugayama, you remembered it all. Shingen was thrilled to be able to reminisce and build from even more memories.

“The power of my wonder pjs goddess never ceases to amaze me. Please, never levave me again, lest you take me with you lovely angel.”

You shouldn’t make promises you have no control over, it instead of coming up with something that was doable but also reassuring you simply nodded, “I promise I’ll never leave again, Shingen.”

It was hard for him to believe even for one moment that he had lost you. .

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

A - Z 🤍🤍

I’m assuming this means all the asks! So buckle up LOL. And thank you for taking an interest in lil ole me. 

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Since you didn’t specify which title, I’m just going to talk about how I come up with titles in general. Normally, they happen one of two ways. Either I will come up with a title I think sounds cool out of the blue and then base a fic of its vibes, or I will write a fic to completion before deciding on a title. I like to use something that one of the characters say in this situation. It feels very full circle to me, if you will. 

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Unfortunately, my life is nowhere near as cool as the characters’ lives I write about. So no, I can’t say that my stories are based off personal experience. Unless you count me naming side characters my middle name every so often to indulge myself oops. 

C: What member do you identify with most?

I guess by member it means character? And to be honest, I’m not really sure. I relate a lot to Spencer Reid I suppose, because I have never been popular and have always been a target for whatever shit life throws at me. I also like to think I’m kinda intelligent? Although if you look at my grade in my stats class right now, idk what to tell you-

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Since there was no specific fic asked about, I can’t really answer this one! But to be honest, I don’t think there are any fics that I have written that I associated with songs. 

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

The first one that came to mind is Guest Speaker. If I wrote a part three for that, it would probably be fluffy domestic cute stuff with Spencer. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I don’t even know what it was…it happened so fast. Did you kill it, Geralt?” Jaskier asked in a huff. Geralt crossed his arms, and shook his head. “I figured I should make sure you didn’t die first, bard.” Jaskier nodded, a simple “Ah,” leaving his lips. “Well, no matter. You can fix me right?” 

He sounded like he was poking fun at the situation, but I could hear the fear in his words. I decided to try and make him smile before I did this next part. It would be painful.

“Anything for Geralt of Rivia and his emotional support bard.”

(This was just really funny to me for some reason, and I feel like I did a good job with their characterizations! And then Y/N comes back with the emotional support bard comment and it’s something I would say in real life. From this fic.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends on my mood! Sometimes if I’m frustrated with a story or a scene, I’ll write them out of order based on what type of thing I feel like writing. But I would say 75% of the time I write my fics in order.

H: How would you describe your style?

To be honest, I have no idea. Do I even have a style? I just write stuff and hope that people read it and like it. 

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Happy endings pfft. So cliche, but like- they make me happy. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that day and want to make an ending a complete train wreck >:) 

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

In this fic...I would let reader live LMAO. But like- I was feeling angsty that day okay-

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Reader dying at the end of the fic LMAO, in the fic linked in the previous one above this one.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uhh 😬 Maybe once? If that 😅 I’m usually so excited to post that I just kinda go ahead and click post and hope for the best. I rely on spell check and grammar check a lot 💀And I just hope my story flows well.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I don’t think so! I keep my to do list public so everyone can see what fics I have planned. The only two I don’t have on there are the ones for the upcoming fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins ‘s discord! But that’s cuz they’re secret :)

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I wish that I would finish the 85486824 WIPS I have, does that count? And that I would write down all the ideas I have in my head that I haven’t even given words yet. 

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Ooh this is a tough one. I’m not really sure how to answer it actually. There have been fics that I come up with a general idea for a plot for first, and then others I will decide what characters I wanna write for before I have any clue as to what the plot might be. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Oh I am 100% the type of writer to let the story unfold as I go. I have outlined two, maybe three of my fics? And then I didn’t even follow through with them because I had more ideas come to me as I was writing. 

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I would literally LOVE to collab with someone!

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

There are a ton, and I am so sorry if I missed any! @imagining-in-the-margins @randomfandomimagine @reidetic @lexieshuntingsstuff @writing-in-april @reidgraygubler @zhuzhubii @dreatine @andiebeaword @dontkissthewriter @spencers-dria @sunlight-moonrise @personofsinterest @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff @reidlusts @itslatinamagia

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Oh boy! 😅 There was only one bed, mutual pining, manic pixie dream girl, kissed to keep quiet, just to name a few!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Not that I can think of! 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

But I have way more than three :’( @imagining-in-the-margins is definitely the first one off the top of my head. Last year I was in a really bad spot, and she invited me to her Discord, and it helped me get back into writing. Plus I made some life long friends in the server. @writing-in-april I love her sm because she is always around when I need her, and it’s nice to have a friend that thinks fairly similarly to me. @lexieshuntingsstuff and @reidgraygubler go hand in hand! They are the best sprinting buddies a girl could ask for. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Ooh this is a tough one. I can’t think of any off the top of my head! Lame answer, I know 😅

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Definitely more specific ones lol. It makes it a lot easier on me. 

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Reader >:))

Y: A character you want to protect.

SPENCER REID AND JASKIER OKAY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

Again- Spencer and Jaskier. I will not TOLERATE THEIR ERASURE !!