#actually m pretty sure only fathers day in america because that already happened
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Happy fathers day TO ME
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY đ
#ansitxt#actually m pretty sure only fathers day in america because that already happened#my dad did come visit because BIRTH#:) father of 100+ ocs
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( olivia holt, 23, she/her ) * hey, iâm looking for the office of ALICE ADAMS. theyâre the EMPLOYEE whoâs known around the office as THE MASK if that helps ? not to be a gossip, but iâve heard that theyâre ADAPTABLE but JADED, is that true ? i also heard that theyâre the one who CATFISHED DAVID HASSELHOFF. anyways, hereâs the coffee they ordered.
hi yâall !! iâm may ( 21 // est // she/her ) and i am super super pumped to be here !! iâm also very much writing this against my better judgment ya girlâs running on four hours of sleep and has the option to sleep more but......... is not tired ?? so i do apologize if my mind is secretly tired and makes this intro,,,, even worse than it would be fahouedn. on with the show !! anyway anyway!! feel free to like this if u wld like 2 plot and i will hit u up!!
( also, for some vibes if you so choose to read, hereâs the link to her playlist ! )
----------------------------------------------------
QUICK FACTS:
full name: alice audrey adams
date of birth: october 26th, 1997
*will not perfectly reflect the zodiac big three below because thatâs.... math.
zodiac big three: scorpio sun, virgo moon, taurus rising
gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her
sexual orientation: bisexual
education:Â ged, bachelorâs degree in film â pratt institute
enneagram: 4w3
mbti: enfp
temperament: sanguine-melancholic
label: the mask
various inspirations: ânutshellâ - alice in chains, âsanta monicaâ - everclear, âpollyâ - nirvana, âjenniferâs bodyâ - hole, âcreepâ - stone temple pilots, kate wallis ( cruel summer - shhhh ), heather davis ( crazy ex-girlfriend ), satana hellstrom ( marvel comics ), bojack horseman - without the amount of problematic ego ( bojack horseman ), eddie huang ( fresh off the boat ), the great britney spears evolution ( temporarily stopping at circus era )
BACKSTORY:
triggers in order: toxic family dynamic, grooming (nothing super in-depth), kidnapping (? like it was âwillingâ but no. see next trigger for why), toxic ârelationshipâ (and 11yr age gap w/ a 16y/o we hate it), straight-up captivity, very brief mention of suicide + heroin (very!)
*would like to quickly preface that this isnât just Dark for the sake of being r/im14andthisisdeep but thatâs for a later time **(also! i have markers for where the grooming + Super Dark parts begin and end! -- also, the Super Dark part is all very public knowledge. had articles. media frenzy. first thing that comes up if you google her name) *** also. if u need it then a tl;dr is below this section hfkldsa
alice audrey adams was born to the type of family that names all of their children alliterative names ( however, they sadly didnât get their own kardashian-style show )... alexis adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... alfie allison adams (working name, utp if taken as a wc)... born to anna adams and allen adams... we hate it here.
as u can see... all of the kids were basically named after allen... they all had âalâ names.... extremely confusingÂ
plot-twist: THATâS the darkest part
the adams were very concerned with public image. as a family in the upper echelon, they simply had to be! a narcissist father, a distant mother, put in competition with her siblings ïżœïżœ there was no truly healthy dynamic in the household. but they looked good. they went to church every sunday, a âwwjdâ sticker on the back of her motherâs car. they did just enough activities and took just enough trips together to get the image across. they threw parties. they attended parties. they were the picture perfect american family â they even had two cats in the yard! life used to be so hard!Â
of course, in reality, this all left ms alice quite the lonely gal. but donât worry! she didnât turn to hedonism! lord no! instead, she turned to other people. a lot of friendships â couldnât tell if they were real or #fortheclout â but at a point, did it matter?Â
grooming tw: it all came to a screeching halt when she met luke johnson, the son of their neighbors. he came back from california to georgia to visit family, care for his ailing father. oh, he was a good man! sure, he was âsomewhatâ older than her â 27 when she was 16 â but he was such a good, handsome young man! and they were all still calling him young man, after all.Â
alice âbeganâ a torrid affair with luke after about a month into his visit. although she saw no immediate wrong in it, he insisted she keep it a secret âfor the time beingâ â which really just made it all the more exciting! he made all the storm clouds that hovered disappear.
one day, the levee broke for alice (still figuring out what exactly happened because i donât wanna go too dark since this is already extremely dark, but trust that it had something to do with her parents and was just enough to push her over the edge). convinced luke was the only safe person, she turned to him. knowing their small community would catch on and essentially exile him, he took that opportunity to convince her to go back to santa monica with him where they could âstart anewâ after his fatherâs death.
there are a few details i plan on adding regarding like. how legality playing into it. but i may just reserve those for an official bio lhakfsdfj
**BEGINNING OF SUPER DARK** for a while, there was the question of whether they should consider it a kidnapping or not. she went with him willingly, but she was still underage (and⊠you know, that age difference⊠the power dynamic... gross yâall). the adams insisted that it was (bc it basically was lbr) â primarily because it would make them look far better â but the community still questioned the logistics and legalities of it all⊠ugh. did the police really wanna deal with that? ugh.Â
in any case, on the other side of us america, autumn was nearing. alice would have the very occasional inquiry over how school would work (very occasional! donât worry, luke!), over the logistics of her new life⊠and, after receiving multiple calls from various friends (in addition to her siblings) that sounded genuine, began wondering⊠if sheâd made the right choice. questions about him.
when she began bringing up the idea of going back â at least for the school year!! â he would continuously remind her that she was not old enough to buy herself a plane ticket (and he was not about to do that). she also couldnât rent a car yet (and he certainly wouldnât let her take (one of) his car(s)!). but most importantly? he loved her. and she loved him. (what a creep!)
so, for a hot second, it seemed like she was stuck. damn legalities!! damn love!! you know, until she texted her older sister back with all of the problems that only being 16... and âin loveâ.... caused. her sister offered to fly down, buy her a plane ticket, and fly back with her.Â
when luke saw this (with all the unrestricted access to her phone he had so he could block, delete, and manipulate as he pleased), he confronted her. things went awry. she wound up in his budding wine cellar (which he soon emptied, of course⊠those merlots :( âŠ.). he messaged back and, as her, said it was actually all good!! luke had figured out the logistics and she could call whenever she wanted!!
and those calls became frequent! because she would pick up when luke held it up to her! because she was pretty sure luke would kill her if she didnât!
she wasnât sure how long it was until she was officially Found. it took what was ruled a suicide by luke, a shot to the head and heroin in his system, to finally get any authorityâs attention. all she knew was that she went to santa monica in mid june and she stopped seeing regular daylight by late july. so some time in august to some time in april⊠**END OF SUPER DARK + GROOMING**
she was returned to georgia shortly after and everything was different. from herself to her friends. but everything was also the same. from her room to her family. it was all⊠teasing. she began going to therapy, but she really sucked at it?? so she just let her therapist rely on various articles that covered the event. because it had been a media circus. good enough, amirite??Â
she didnât have the will or patience to put on that peppy facade sheâd had before, but there were still a few things she found a smidge of joy in. music (although her taste had⊠slightly altered and wow! itâd been almost a year since sheâd picked up that bass!), videography⊠just those small things, you know??Â
for the first half of the ~ 2014 fall semester ~, she attempted actual school. really was not working out. with, for probably the first and only time, her parentsâ approval and understanding, she dropped out and studied for a ged -- shorter and self-led -- instead.Â
she passed with a pretty decent grade... but itâs been argued that she really shouldnât have gotten into pratt institute (she was at least realistic and didnât apply to, like⊠cornell), but she did. national news helps.Â
while in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, she learned of masters. she submitted an application as a joke â because her grades sucked!!!!! â but guess who got a job?? oh, she could pretend it was because her selected portfolio was actually genuinely good⊠but, man⊠we all knowâŠ
fun fact: my uncle applied to harvard as a joke. some twenty-five years later, we still havenât heard back :\
she⊠continues to suck. like⊠she kinda wants the place to eventually burn down?? figuratively speaking (or is itâŠ) but ya, for all the monopolizing she has seen turn people Evil?? but the hell can she do about it⊠just gotta make sure she keeps her in-house videographer job⊠maybe she can do something about it when she like⊠is capable. fuaihoelwdjkn
she sees an in-house therapist and iâd say âgood for her,â but it was mandated l m a oÂ
doesnât talk about herself all that much!! but that might not matter for some people, yk?? ugh journalism <3Â
yâall im so bad at ending intros.
TL;DR:
(consult above trigger list): bright kid in a super rich and toxic family because obviously. everything they did was just to look good <3 also they all had âaâ names which is the biggest tragedy of all :( âfell in loveâ when she was 16ys/o with a 27y/o who was visiting to care for his father in his final days. had a torrid affair. creep. creep (luke) basically made her âfall in love.â she thought creep was the only safe person at one point and creep was like âwanna go back 2 santa monica w me?â and she was like âyes.â and everyone was like âwas this kidnapping... we cant tell....â then he became even more possessive when she started questioning him and some logistics. when she finally found a way she could go back to georgia for a spell, he was like âno u can go in my wine cellar btw i will be taking all of the wine out.â he kept her there from august to april and... only reason he didnt keep keeping her was bc he was Caught so. back to georgia where the devil went down. everything was Worse. even the things that were the same. but hey, the sob story that landed her in the news plenty of times got her into a college she shouldnât have gotten into and gave her a leg-up in a joke application for a job at masters (in-house videographer). really bad at doing her work but like... fuck the man i guess??Â
PERSONALITY + HEADCANONS:
has no time for Fake Nice (which, as a born southerner, sheâs really good at sniffing out!). has no time for arrogance. kind of makes her at odds with the nyc upper class...
on that note, still got a lil bit of some georgia twang
she lets herself indulge in various vices, but has left a previous hedonist status. weed and alcohol are still pretty common, but everything else is kept at armâs length.
also, while on that topic, she Does Not drink wine. being trapped in a cellar... kinda makes u averse. like. literally despises it. will go on autopilot and make it KNOWN if offered wine.
also ALSO while on that topic, after looking it up and seeing she fits the new york city requirements, she has a medical marijuana card <3 the one good thing, if u ask her, to come out of therapy/psychiatry <3 will not show it off unless absolutely NECESSARY bc then it gets personal or <3 will lie about why and say itâs like for epilepsy or sumn unless ur rolfe but <3 she has it <3
at odds with herself. enjoys the company of others, definitely has a history of being an extrovert, but has become very selective with the company she keeps.Â
VERY private person! has had enough public standing!Â
...has occasionally used her story to advance her tho bc itâs her national newsworthy tragic story and she can exploit it if she wants <3
when good charlotte said âi donât wanna be in loveâ?? she felt that. her last ârelationshipâ ruined that for her <3 save her <3Â
used to be really into pop! bc pop is fun! she loved some britney (i mean... she still does... how can u not!)! but. her taste has changed drastically. rarely listens to pop. has traded britney for like.... hole and the like.
her parents didnât use this as the basis for her name but,, 2 me,,, sheâs named alice for a reason <3 gotta luv alice in chains <3
yâall i found a youtube comment on a video called ânirvana - half the man i used to beâ (the song was, in fact, âcreepâ by stone temple pilots) and itâs <3 her music taste <3 click here for it <3
the above said, dresses like sheâs in seattle in the early 90s.Â
her rumor is true btw she DID catfish david hasselhoff and she will proudly tell u. itâs her best accomplishment.
completely stopped talking to her parents and got cut-off a while back ago so now sheâs livin like the Prols
which is how a rich kid one of my profs once advised referred to his classmates.... hilarity ensues.
the above in mind, her parents say sheâs testing the waters as a ânormal personâ to save face. they canât have anyone knowing their family isnât perfect <3
she has a pet turtle whom she named âdr. turtle,â although heâs constantly referred to as âdocâ or âthe doc.â he has his own youtube channel and tiktok account.
she has a wall full of evidence that courtney love did not kill kurt cobain... it makes sense, believe me.
became a vegetarian...... partially because it was different from her original life and a way to control something, partially because this commercial made her feel SO BAD.
literally her default mode is stoned like... a totally sober alice is rarer than a nessie sighting
when she was 18, before she could âhold her liquorâ as well as she can now, she got a lil too drunk and now has a portrait tattoo of courtney love on her forearm. but it was done well at least!!
kind of ironic considering her career, but RARELY posts on any social media site except twitter. after the media circus in 2014 and All Eyes On Her, sheâs just..... so tired...... of ppl seeing her face and being like âomg ur that wine cellar bitch!â
(drugs tw) has become more and more Addicted to playing around with fate. j chill on a ledge, talkin to some pals, but deciding itâs a good idea to swing her legs on the wrong side of ledge? totally! mixing a lot of alcohol with opioids which she is not accustomed to? DEF!! (end tw)
more to come!!
CONNECTION IDEAS:
i have two (2) queued up!! but while we wait for them to post, iâll just⊠link them over here: 1, 2
muse u <3 the other half of her subplot from the main <3
her older sister!
her younger sibling!
some of the basics!! you know: close pal, roommate, drug buddies (but she gotta hit them up), fwb, ons, frenemies, enemy
ppl who recognize her from the 2014 luke johnson articles and have either brought it up or,,,,,,, act Awkwardâą
cld be fun 2 just have like. a jam bud. someone who plays any instrument and they j. jam sometimes.
ppl she sells. some of her medical marijuana to. bc yk what weed may be legal in nyc now but,,,, sheâs still found a way to be broke she will accept anything. and also it just became legalized THIS YEAR so!!
i have a budding wc page @ https://escxpiism.tumblr.com/wcs (and when i say budding, i MEAN budding) so feel free 2 check it out!!
more to come!!
#masters.intro#alice | intro !#this took me like....... 2hrs 2 write so i do indeed think my mind is fooling me and actually lagging behind.
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Miraculous : The Reveal : a Phone Call Away
Marinette ran up the stairs wiping her tears after she heard the bad news. She was moving to Shanghai! Even though she had an amazing adventure with Fei and Cat noir, moving to Shanghai would mean she canât be ladybug anymore!
       âTikki, I don't know what to do! I canât be ladybug and the guardian from Shanghai! Itâs all too much. I can't take it anymore!â She sobs. *Ring Ring* âOh Alya is calling.â Marinette says as she wipes her tears.
       âHey Girl, I heard the news. Iâm coming over right now stay there!â *beep* Alya hung up the phone.
Meanwhile in the Agrete EstateâŠ..                                    Â
       âFather Please! I donât want to go to boarding school! I have friends! If i go there I will only be with a bunch of rich snobs!â Adrien pleaded.
       âI have made my decision. You leave in a few weeks.â Gabriel told him sternly. After the door closed Plagg came out and started panicking!
      âThis is bad, you canât leave. Who will feed me my Camembert!â Plagg cried as Adrien looked at him with an annoyed face. âBut the truth is that I will miss you 100 times more than Camembert. You're the best Cat Noir Iâve ever had. Plagg said and hugged Adrien.
      âWoah Plagg Iâve never seen this side of you before! Itâs so not you!â Adrien explained happily. âWe should get going, Itâs almost time for patrol with Mâlady!â
Back to MarinetteâsâŠâŠ..
      âWhat do I do Alya? This is way too much to handle. And if-if-if I move there Iâll have to take Cat noirâs miraculous because I canât leave him to protect Hawkmoth alone. I canât even leave you! You still need training! An-â Marinette get cutt of by Alya.
      âRelax, Girl youâll figure it out! You hid your secret identity from me for a long time. And Iâm a reporter! You fought Shadowmoth hundreds of times you beat him even when it all seemed lost.â
      âI donât know how I did it! I was alone! I couldn't tell anyone about how much pressure I was under! And now Master Fu has lost his memory! I just canât take it anymore!â
     âMarinette, listen to me. You might not realize it but you did have someone to talk to, Chat noir. He knows you the best. And heâs cute too!â
     âYou don't mean that '' giggled Marinette âBut youâre right he was there for me all this time, I just never took the time to see underneath his silliness, that reminds me I was supposed to get him a gift for his birthday! I have just the thing. âMarinette ran to her secret stash of gifts for Adrien and pulled out a black and green wrapped book. Marinette transformed and swung here yo-yo to the secret spot where she and Cat noir meet before every Patrol.
     âMâlady you made it!â Cat noir exclaimed
     âOf course! How could I miss your birthday patrol, Kitty!â Ladybug said as she started into his green eyes. âHave they alway been that shade of green?â She thought as she felt herself start to blush.
      âWhatâs in the box? A tiny bed for Plagg? Or maybe itâs a book?â He said curiously.
      âActually youâre right, Kitty. Itâs a memory book. I got pictures of our best moments and put them inside.â She said as she hoped he would like it.
      ââŠâ Chat noir was silent
      â You don't like it do you.â Ladybug said sadly.
      âNo, I Love it! Itâs so amazing! But why are there empty pages?âhe questioned.
     â Those are for new memories. For the future!â Ladybug said as she remembered she had to tell him the bad news.
     â Mâlady there is something I need to tell you. I canât be Cat noir anymore.â  Cat noir said as he started sobbing.
     âCat noir? I-I-I canât be ladybug either.â She sobbed. âMy parents decided to move out of Paris and I can't do anything about it.â
     âWhy does this have to happen to me? M'lady Iâm so unlucky, you donât even know how hard my life is! And now I have to give it all up! And for what! So my Father Can be Happy!â Cat noir sobbed even louder.
     âCat Noir I- I don't know what to say. I-Iâ Ladybug got cut off by her alarm and said â Iâm sorry Cat noir, See you tomorrow, same time?â
     âSame timeâ he sighed and wiped his tears.
The next day the both got ready for School having to tell everyone that they are leaving. Right before Marinette entered the school she tripped on a rock.
     â Woah! You Better watch where youâre going!â Adrien said as he helped Marinette up.
     âDUPAN-CHANG! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ADRIKINS!â Chloe screamed loudly across the school.
     âHey Chloe. Iâve had enough of you picking on me! All you do is hurt everyone! But Iâm not going to yell and tell you off.â Marinette said âI believe that you have an amazing person inside of you. All you have to do is let her out.â Marinette said as she tried to hold in her tears from the news she still had to tell. âHey you guys, Iâve got bad news. Iâm moving to Shanghai!â
     *Gasp* Everyone was shocked.
     âOh noâ said Rose âMarinette you're the best Marinette ever! You canât go!â
     âWhat!â Exclaimed Adrien âI have to move too!â
     â How is that possible!â Marinette thought âMe, Cat noir, AND Adrien are all moving! Thatâs crazyâ After school marinette went home to get some packing done with Alya. They packed and talked. They also tried some new power up recipes. Then Alya accidently released the kwamiâs, but them got them all back.  Around 9 Alya went home and Marinette went to bed. When Marinette fell asleep Plagg came inside.
     âTikki, what are we going to do! This canât be happening. Paris will be destroyed! And it wonât be my fault this time!â Plagg ranted
     âPlagg! Calm down! Marinette will figure something out.â Tikki explained.
     âBye Tikki!â Plagg yelled.
     âBye Plagg!â Tikki yelled back.
In the morning at Adrienâs houseâŠ
     âIsnât that weird Plagg? Mâlady and Marinette are both moving.â Asked Adrien.
     âNah this is all rotten cheese. Marinette canât possibly be Ladybug! Sheâs Multi-mouse remember?â Plagg answered as he ate his cheese.
     âYouâre right.â Sighed adrien âI guess i have to continue packing.â
     âAdrien, these are your last weeks in Paris, enjoy them! And theyâre you last weeks with meâ play said as he started tearing up.
     âPlagg, come here! I want to give you a hug!â Adrien said as he started to chase Plagg around the room.
     âYOU WILL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!â Exclaimed Plagg.
Later that dayâŠ..
    âPlagg, Claws out!â Adrien quietly whispered the transformation words as he went to fight Mr.Pigeon. Again.
    âHello Mâlady! Looks like we got ourselves a Fur-miliar friend!â Cat Noir exclaimed as he got into his battle pose.
    âIâm Glad youâre here kitty!â Ladybug replied. âYou know what to do!â Soon they defeated the villain and captured its akuma.
    âMâlady Great Job out there! I wouldâve never guessed that he would give the akumatized object to one of the pigeons! You deserve an ap-paw-se(applause)!â Chat noir emphasized.
    âThanks Cat noir! You too! We wouldâve lost if it wasn't for your idea to scare the pigeons.â Exclaimed ladybug. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* âI better get going! I can't show you my identity. Bug out!â
    âWHEEEEEEâ Cat noir exclaimed as he swung through Paris. He landed inside his bathroom and de-transformed. âPlagg, why does it smell like your cheese inside my shower?â
     âWell I had to age my cheese somewhere! In my defense it said to put it in a glass container!â Plagg Blabbed. Adrien sighed and went to shower. Then he had a thought. âIt sure is weird that marinette and ladybug are both moving! I mean they are pretty similar. No but Marinette is clumsy. BUT! No, that canât be true.â
     âAdrien you have a photo shoot in 30 minutes! You have 10 minutes to get ready!â Nathalie Told him. Adrien nodded and got ready. He drove to his photo shoot and saw Marinette hide on her balcony.
     âWhy would Marinette need to hi-â Adrien was cut off by a red flash. Then Ladybug flew off Marinette's balcony! âOMG OMG OMG MARINETTE IS LADYBUG! I CANâT TELL HER THAT THEN SHE WONâT BE ABLE TO FIGHT! Oh but I really want to tell her now because Marinette is already so amazing. And her being ladybug is 100 times more amazing! Wait if she transformed that means there is an akuma attack!â Thought adrien. âAhh there is an akuma attack! He exclaimed and ran to transform. âAt least it's not Mr.Pigeon!â Chat noir chuckled as ladybug gave him a new look. âIâve never seen that look before mar-Ladybugâ Cat noir stuttered. âOh shoot. I almost called her Marinetteâ
     âUh-um what look!?â Ladybug quickly responded.  They quickly found a way to defeat the villain and its sentimonster. They said their goodbyes and went opposite ways. âCat noir? Wait i-â
     âClaws inâ Adrien said as ran out of the ally.
     âB-b-bwahhhhhhhhh⊠ADRIEN AGRESTE, MY ADRIEN AGREST, IS MY PARTNER. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I loved and hated Adrien or cat noir! I DONâT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO CALL HIM ANYMORE!â Marinette panicked. âTikkiâŠ..âshe whined.
     âMarinette, it was time you knew. You are the Guardian after all!â Tikki replied.
They kept the secret from each other for almost a month. Adrien packed for larding School. While Marinette slowly packed her room. Everyone was slowly saying their goodbyes. Until one dayâŠ
   âIâm leaving tomorrow Mâlady! I canât keep my miraculous anymore if Iâm leaving for America!â Cat noir confessed!
  âCat noir! Donât say that! Weâll figure it out!â Ladybug pleaded.
  âPlagg, I renounce you.â Cat noir said as he teared up. âIâm sorry Marinette..â
  âM-marinetteâŠYou know!? Adrein I know too..â Ladybug Cried.
  MeanwhileâŠ..
  âI knew they were solemates since that time Alex got akumatized.â Luka said as he held up his ship flag. Marinette detransformed And ran up to him crying.
  âIâm so glad it you, Cat noirâ She said crying.
  âMarinette? Me too! I mean you're amazing both way! Marinette is amazing. Ladybug is amazing. And youâre both! Like that's Pawsome!â
  âHeheheheâ Marinette giggled âBut what is going to happen now? Iâm moving to Shanghai, and youâŠâŠâ
  âWell? Iâll only be a phone call away. Besides that? I want to ask you something.â Adrein said happily
  âAnd what is that, Kitty?â Marinette flirted
  âWill you be my girlfriend, Mâlady?â Cat noir asked eagerly
  â Will I? Of course I will! Now I need to tell Alya! She will never believe me.â Marinette exclaimed.
At schoolâŠ.
  âOH MY GOD! GIRLS IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!â Alya yelled. âMarinette! WHAT IS THIS! WHAT IS GOING ON! Did you actuallyâŠYou know.. tell him.â
 â I told him everything! EVERYTHING And I mean EVERYTHINGâ Marinette said.
 âYOU DID NOT, I swear girl, if you did âŠ..âAlya continued.
        â Heâs my soulmate. HEâS CAT NOIR!!â Marinette whispered.
        ââŠ. WHATTTTTTTTâ Alya screamed. âGIrl you need to fill me in tonight! We're gonna have a girls night!â
        âShall we get to class, M'lady!â Said Adrien
        âWe shall! Kitty!â Marinette said. Marinette couldnât believe she had finally found her kitty. Adrien was beyond excited that he found his love. Later that night at Marinette house. â Alya I think itâs time.â Marinette said reluctantly.
        âYou donât mean..â Alya started
       âI do! If Iâm not going to be ladybug anymore then itâs time they know.â Marinette confidently walked down the stairs and sat her parents down at the table. â Mom, Dad I have something important to tell you. Actually 2 things. Well the first is that I have a boyfriend!â She said excitedly.
        âOmg Marinette! Who is it!â Her parents blurted out.
        â Itâs Adrien Agreste, actually!â Marinette said super fast.
        ââŠWERE SO HAPPY FOR YOU!â Her mom said as she teared up.
       âMy daughter! The girlfriend of a supermodelâ her dad said as he was crying.
      âBut there is one more thingâŠIâm Ladybug.â She confessed.
      âWait⊠Hold on, you are ladybug!? Thatâs why you're always missing your classes and late all the time! Youâre saving Paris! Iâm so proud-â Sabine exclaimed before Tom interrupted her.
     âMy daughter is the girlfriend of a model AND is a superhero! She canât get any better than that!â Tom told her.
     âActually.. I canât be Ladybug if I live in Shanghai. I donât know what to to. Itâs all so hard! You have no idea how hard it was lying to you all the time! And all for nothing!â Marinette broke down in front of her parents.
     âMarinette, sweetie, You are not alone anymore. Even if we move, Paris will be safe. ShadowMoth might attack one or twice but when he realizes that you're not here he will stop.â Sabine comforted her. Marinette still had to move, but she was more sure of herself.
At the Agreste EstateâŠ.
     âI finally feel complete. I found my true love! My father might not know any of this but I can do anything without him. Tomorrow I have to leave, but at least Iâll have Marinette.â Adrien sighed. Nathalie came in and told him goodbye and that his bodyguard would take him to the train station tomorrow morning. He nodded and went to bed.
The next morning at the Train StationâŠ.
     âBye Adrien! Iâll miss ya Dude!â Nino said and gave him a fist bump.
     âGoodbye Adrien. Hope I will see YOU soon.*Winkâ Alya smirked
     âBye!â Rose said.
     âYeah.. bye adrien..â mumbled juleka.
     âBye Adrien!â Said the rest of his friends Unanimously.
     âWaitâŠ.Whereâs Marinette?â Adrien questioned as he looked for her.
     âMghâ His bodyguard grunted singling for him it was time to go.Before Adrein stopped onto the train Marinette came running to him.
âMarinette! You made it! I thought you didnât wanna come!â Adrien exclaimed!
âAdrien Agreste. Here is the Miraculous of the Black Cat. It grants you the power of destruction. You will use it for the greater good.â Marinette smiled and handed him the ring. He grinned so much everyone was confused.
     âWhatâs that? Ooh, is it a special couples thing!â Rose asked.
     âYeah what is it! Everyone asked. They looked at each other and knew it was time.
*Cue Miraculous instrumental theme song*
     âTikki! Spots On!â Marinette exclaimed while Adrien said âPlagg! Claws out!â They decided it was time the world knew because if they knew each otherâs identities they could protect one another. Sooner or later Marinette went off to live in Shanghai. But like Adrien said âIâll always be a phone call away.â
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Phan Cam: The Unexpected Heist
>The Hub. After taking the heart of Sheriff Johnson and Oracle and Violet starting college, we finally have time to keep our promise to the Scorchers and Battle Force 5 to help them reopen the portal of Highway 35 and bring back the World Race.
>We were all gathered together waiting for Oracleâs fellow hackers to make contact.
Me and Sophia have made the necessary precautions just in case the Silencerz attempt to trace us if we are caught.
Good, Sage. Weâll need it.
I just hope the Silencerz donât realize that the ones hacking them are the people they had to deal with in the past.
Donât worry. Something tells me they never had to deal with a hacker like me before.
Really? What makes you any different?
Oracle: Ever heard of Medjed?
The hacktivist group? Yeah. Why do you ask?
Brace yourselves. I was the founder.
Scorchers and Battle Force 5: (in shock) WHAT!!!?
Youâre Medjed? I canât believe it. I actually followed their work. Though, I thought how Medjed was doing these days seemed a bit odd. Now I know why. Other hackers were impersonating you. But now, Iâm meeting the real Medjed!
Oracle: I was the real Medjed. That was a long time ago. Iâm Alibaba now. But Oracle is good, too.
RING! RING!
Oracle: Speaking of Alibaba...
Incoming call from three unknown callers.
Oracle: Patch them in.
>Three holographic screens pop open.
Oracle: Hey you guys, long time no see!
Hey, Alibaba! Still rockinâ the headphones! I like that!
Still loud as ever, Yu-ichi.
Somethings never change, huh, Six?
Six: Yeah, nice to see you again, too, Lunch.
So youâre Fu- I mean, Alibabaâs fellow hackers.
Lunch: Yeah, nice to meetcha. You can just call me Lunch.
Six: Iâm called Six.
Yu-ichi: And Iâm Yu-ichi.
Six: Which is not much of a hacker name since itâs your real first name.
Yu-ichi: But itâs clever. No one would ever suspect that my hacker name is my real name.
Oracle: Okay, guys, stay with me.
Yu-ichi: Sorry. Hey, are the others coming, too? Spooky? Hitomi? And... whatâs-his-name? (Gee, itâs been a long time, so I forgot his name.)
Lunch: Theyâve been through enough already. Best to leave them out of this. So, why did you bring us back together?
Oracle: Nothing much. Just hacking into a secret organizationâs databanks.
Yu-ichi: (laughing a bit) Thatâs all? Thatâs like the easiest thing there is. Give us a bigger challenge.
Six: (a little anxious) Get serious. We donât even know anything about this secret organization.
Oracle: Iâll tell you about it.
RING! RING!
Oracle: Soon. Right now, our next hackers are calling in.
>Another screen opens.
Are we fashionably late?
I think thatâs suppose to be my line.
Oracle: Nope. You four are right one time.
Alright! Letâs get this party started!
Hold on, comrade. I get there feeling there are more guests coming.
Indeed there are.
RING! RING!
Queen: That should be him.
>Another screen appears.
Here I am. Did I miss anything?
Queen: No, Forge san, you made it right on time.
Hold on! Youâre Forge of the X-Men. Peter told me about you.
For real? Harry, Makoto, and Captain America told me about him, too.
Joker: And Adi told me.
Mixer: (in awe) Holy- Itâs really Forge! Dude, Iâm one of your biggest fans.
Joule:Â Come sono io.
Forge: Thanks. It good to meet a fan and a colleague. Un piacere di conoscerti. Y tĂș tambiĂ©n.
Makoto, how do you know Forge?
Queen: Do you remember that Inhuman student from the school festival? The one who said her friend is a mutant? I looked into those students. The mutant student was visited by Dr. Hank McCoy. Forge san just happened to have come with him.
Forge: We wanted to talk to her before she and her friends left for Attilan. We wanted to make sure that sheâll be ready to go up us or her parents worrying about her getting M-Pox if sheâs exposed to the Terrigen Mist. We also wanted to let her know that sheâll always have place with the X-Men.
Joker: Thatâs good to hear.
I thought you left the X-Men so you could do your own thing.
Forge: I still help them from time to time. Mostly with mutants whoâve just come into their powers.
Queen: I know what you mean. I had to go through Scott Summers and almost the rest of the X-Men to contact you.
Forge: And I still canât believe you decided to ask me and had to go through all that just to do it.
It was either you or the other Forge. The one who still maintains his youthful appearance from being stuck in another dimension for many years.
Forge: Yes, I know who youâre talking about. Iâve met my Fellow Forge many times. A little rambunctious, but heâs a good person. I even asked him with help on some projects. Including this one Iâve been working on.
>Forge hold some kind of metallic helmet along with his phone which had an app open with the lets âcâ and âpâ.
Forge: I call it Cerebro Portable. Me and my Fellow Forge created it to help telepaths find mutants within a hundred mile radius. Especially ones who just got into their powers. But itâs not finished yet.
Yu-ichi: Really? How so?
Forge: We tried to design it based on the original concept for the original Cerebro. Thereâs just one problem.
Sophie: And whatâs that?
Forge: There are only two people I know who know more about Cerebro than any and that would be the original creators. Professor Charles Xavier, but he wonât awaken from his coma for eight more years. The other is... Erik Lehnsherr.
Magneto.
Forge: Thatâs right. And Iâm not about to go all the way to Genosha just to ask him to help me create something that he, himself, could use to find mutant to recruit into the Brotherhood or his mutant army. So it may be a while. Hopefully Professor Xavier will be awake by then. But for now, Iâll just settle with getting help from my Fellow Forges.
RING! RING!
Forge: Speaking of which.
>Another screen opens.
Sorry for the wait. Just finishing up with Kurt and the others.
Forge san! Itâs been too long.
Queen: Yes, it has.
Forge: I didnât want to leave him out of it, so I invited him to help out, too.
Other Forge: Iâm willing to do what I can.
Joule: I think weâre going to have some confusion here.
Six: Yeah, how do we address one of you?
Other Forge: Well, my Fellow Forge came here first, so I guess we can call him Forge 1. Iâll be fine with being called Forge 2.
Yeti: If that works, weâll take it.
How did you two meet Forge 2?
Queen: (unsure) Well...
Noir: (smiling) I can tell you. It all started...
>Flashback.
>The streets of Shibuya in the summer before the pandemic. A fast car was driving up wildly. Queen and Noir were coming back from grocery shopping... and Noir was behind the wheel.
Haru, please be careful! These eggs are for a special meal Sis is making tonight.
Itâll be alright. I think Iâve had a lot of improvement.
>The car was zooming around while people try to back off. Suddenly, someone accidentally fell into the street.
LOOK OUT!!!
>The car was about to hit the young man on the street... But it didnât. The car suddenly was floating in the air. Queen and Noir looked to see that the young man they nearly hit had some kind of device that was creating some kind of gravity field.
Wow! Good thing I came here to show my new anti-gravity generator for situations like this. Hope you girls have your reentry cushions checked.
>End of flashback.
Mona: (unsurprised) That makes sense.
Noir: We exchanged information and weâve known each other since.
Forge 2: And your eggs were even safe.
Forge 1: And how did that anti-gravity generator work out?
Forge 2: They said theyâll thank about it.
Translation: You were rejected.
Forge 2: Yeah, I figured.
Noir: Why would they? Itâs a great invention. It really helped us.
Forge 2: Good question. Either because their minds are too slow or small to handle how advanced my inventions are, or... Well, you know.
Vert: Because youâre a mutant. Now thatâs just unfair.
Forge 2: Sounds like you know the feeling.
Vert: (a small smile) Letâs just say, I have secrets of my own.
>For a moment, a small light formed in Vertâs hand which quickly vanished just as I saw something move on his back behind his uniform... I wonder.
RING! RING!
Oracle: Sounds like another fellow hackerâs here.
>Another screen opens.
Iâm here and ready for anything.
Joker: Glad you can join us, Player.
Wayne: Yeah, how are things back up there, eh? I havenât been back in awhile.
Player: Well, things are still quiet because of the pandemic. Other than that, everythingâs great.
Joker: And speaking of of how things are, howâs Red chan doing?
WARNING: Spoilers for Carmen Sandiego ahead.
Yeah, ever since V.I.L.E. went down in flames and Zack and Ivy joined A.C.M.E., sheâs been pretty quite.
Player: Sheâs fine. She finally found her mom, but she hasnât said anything else. But Iâm sure weâll learn more soon. For now, Iâll see what I can do. Thanks again for inviting me.
Oracle: Weâre gonna need all the hackers we can get.
Yu-ichi: I know. Hackers are getting younger and younger these days.
Six: (whisper) And yet you ack like youâre getting younger and younger... Donât change, man.
Player: (smiling) Hey, the Spookies. Nice to meet you. Youâre actually one of the reasons I was inspired to become a hacker.
Lunch: Really. Thatâs good. Of course, our reason for hacking is probably much different than ours.
Player: Pretty much.
Wolf: (a bit surprised) Hold on! Spookies? I thought you three were familiar. I should have realized that when you said Spooky, real name Masahiro Sakura.
Queen: Now that you mentioned it, I think I remember my father talk about a case from another part of Japan. I didnât think much of it at the time and completely forgot about it.
Yu-ichi: So you know about that? I wonder what heâs doing now. He disbanded our group after some stuff happened and he left to find himself.
Lunch: Iâm sure weâll see him again soon.
Six: Same here. I sort of miss him and the others.
RING! RING!
Sophie: We have another one.
>Another screen opens.
I just finished my start-of-term homework, now Iâm all free.
Joker: So glad you could join us, Adi. I just hope the Future Avengers wonât be called away anytime soon.
Adi: No, things have been relatively slow lately, so I think weâre good. But just in case, Mr. Stark and Cap want us on stand by.
Skull: Iâm sure itâs nothing you, Makoto, and the others canât handle.
Adi: Iâm sure, too.
Joker: Thanks for helping us, little-brother-may-become-son.
Adi: Youâre welcome, big-brother-may-become-father.
>I can sense I made Adi happy inviting him here.
Rank Up!
Confidant: Codec
Arcana: 3
Ability: Technical Act Type 2
Delivers the same effect as Technical Act but to a much greater extent.
RING! RING!
>Another screen opens.
All set and ready to go!
*Chirp*
Oracle: Welcome to the party, Conor. You, too, Chim-Chim.
Mixer: Is that a robot monkey?
Conor: Yeah, Iâm allergic to most furs, so I designed him.
Forge 2: Whoa! Robotic technology sure has changed since 1978.
Conor: What do you mean by that?
Forge 1: Itâs a long story.
There are so many hackers here.
Joker: I know, it reminds me of that movie Oracle showed us.
Oracle: Yeah, Angelina san was a treasure in Hackers Jackers.
Yeah. So, is that everyone?
Forge 2: Not quite. I have a feeling... that we have a couple more to go.
RING! RING!
Mona: You bet.
>Another screen opens.
Have you guys been waiting long?
Oracle: Just a little.
Thanks for inviting us. Weâve hadnât had much to do since what happened on Eternia. I guess now that most of the evil of the universe, particularly Lotor, has been defeated, business for the Voltron Force has been a bit slow.
Really? Thatâs a shame. Iâm sure something will come up soon.
Pidge: Well, itâs not totally slow. We do get the occasional bully or mad conqueror. Though, itâs not really the same.
Forge 2: Donât give up. You guys will see real action again someday.
Pidge: Thanks, Forge-Of-My-Dreams. But for now, the only real action weâve seen is in our dreams. Like how I dream that Iâm some kid with heel problem fighting monsters from Greek Mythology or a pirate kid with a very pirate family or some kid with magical slugs.
Joker: Thatâs all?
Pidge: Pretty much. But I havenât been having more actiony dreams. There were two others, but theyâre gone for some reason. Though, one of them Iâm glad is gone. But the other one I really miss.
Forge 2: Yeah, I think I know. But, you still have me... and our last hacker.
Vert: (confused) Our last hacker?
Queen: Vince isnât the last hacker weâre expecting?
Vince: No, but Pidge says he knows about him.
Then he knows that heâs just as smart as I am.
RING! RING!
That should be him now.
>Another screen opens.
Sherman: About time. We were afraid you werenât coming at all.
Yeah, I kinda forgot until I took a siesta and these two reminded me. (he nods to Forge 2 and Pidge)
Pidge: Youâre welcome.
Vert: (a bit suspicious) You seem familiar... You wouldnât happen to know a teen alien who sounds like I used to when I was his age and is accompanied by a little alien robot that sound like you, would you?
Hi-Tech Young Man: (smiling) Maybe.
Spinner: Everyone, this is our cousin, Roberto Martinez. We call him Berto for short.
Berto: Hola, nice to meet you.
Six: Great, now weâve got three headphones.
Hey, respect the headphones, man!
Mixer: Yeah, dude, donât start dissinâ the phones.
Yu-ichi: Besides, youâre the one whose only mode of transportation is a skateboard... BTW, you still use for that?
Six: (blushing a bit) ... Maybe... Okay, so Iâm still a long ways from getting that fancy sports car Iâve wanted. Business at our familyâs store is rather slow these days. Even more since the pandemic hit. But Iâm not giving up.
Berto: Hey, no shame in still skateboarding at your age. Look at me. Iâm close to your age and I still do it.
Six: Easy for you to say, you look like you have a car. Most likely a high tech one at that.
Berto: Ture, I have a couple, but nothing beats a deck. Plus, itâs good for the environment.
Six: I guess thatâs good to hear.
Wolf: So, is that everybody here, or are we expecting more?
Skull: Let me check. Yo, is anybody expectinâ anybody!?
Panther: Well, I did thought about asking Tecna for help, but I donât want to get her or the Winx in trouble with the Silencerz, so sheâs out. But Iâll call her if anything happens.
Skull: Then yup, thatâs everyone!
Vert: Now that our teamâs been assembled, letâs get on it. Now, I bet most of you are wondering why youâre here. Well, for that... I turn things over to my dad. Take it away, pops.
Thanks, Vert. Youâre here because we might have a way to bring back one of the greatest inter-dimensional races ever. However, the secrets to that are locked away in the Silencerzâ mainframe. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (Iâve always wanted to say that), is to hack into their mainframe. In the mainframe, you must find a file containing the research data of the late Dr. Peter Tezla. But be warned, the Silencerz will try every hacker defense trick in the book: Firewalls, anti-virus software, encrypted passwords, security algorithms, even their own viruses and malware. If you do managed to get in and find the file, you have exactly 15 minutes to copy it before the failsafe kicks in.
Adi: Failsafe?
Jack: 15 minutes after the fileâs been hacked, said file will delete itself permanently to prevent further hacking.
Forge 1: But if the Silencerz try everything to stop us, itâs going to be hard to get past all that. I think this is going to be much different than hacking into MRD tech.
Sophie: Luckily, thatâs where I come in.
>The hackers on the screens (except for Adi, Player, Conor, and Chim-Chim) where confused until Sophie vanishes and reappears on the main screen.
Vince: (surprised) Holy!!!
Pidge: (smiling) I had a feeling that was no ordinary girl.
Yu-ichi: Amazing. An AI with itâs own ego... I wonder if I should tell my cousin Tokita about this.
Sophie: I am Sophia, humanityâs companion. I am going to help you all with whatever I can. That includes hacking into the Silencerzâ mainframe.
Mixer: You know, we have an AI of our own.
Sophie: You do?
??-??: A! I! S! H! A! We! Are! AISHA! ... Sorry, I couldnât help it.
Sophie: So you must be M.A.Y.H.E.M.âs AI.
Call me In-Su.
Oracle: Didnât I see you as part of an opening act for August Gaunt?
In-Su: With my sisters, yes. But that was a long time ago. Iâm with M.A.Y.H.E.M. now. I mainly help Friday, Mixer, Gremlin, Joulie, and Safeword with cybernetic things, but I have done on-the-field missions... If the field is in Cyberspace.
Sophie: Thatâs good to hear. Nice to meet you. I guess we will be working together. I look forward to our mission together.
In-Su: I so will I, sachon*.
*âSachonâ is Korean for âcousinâ.
Conor: Hey, if youâre gonna do something like this, me and Chim-Chim want to go into the virtual world.
Chim-Chim: *chirp chirp*
Lunch: You can do that?
>Conor shows he has some VR equipment.
Lunch: I guess that works.
>Conor connects the VR headset to his computer and Chim-Chim connects to it as well. Within moments, they were jacked in and something appears on the main screen with Sophie and In-Su.
Conor: Alright, all buffed up and ready for action! (begins singing) Here they come. Here comes Conor and his monkey, Chim-Chim.
>We all just stare... Which of us will be the first to ask?
Six: Oh, god. And why do they both of mustaches?
Vince: Iâm guessing to match.
Yu-ichi: (smiling) I kinda like it. Itâs actually quite clever.
Conor: (satisfied) Ha, I knew it! Take that, Lucy.
Pidge: Go with what works for you.
Jack: True. But remember what I said, the Silencerz will do whatever it takes to protect its secrets. I should know, I used to be the leader.
Vert: I wonder who took after you when you left.
Jack: (looking a bit down) Vert... I think you have pretty good idea.
Vert: I... I see. Well, weâll still be able pull this off we work together.
We will. We can do this.
Vert: Thanks, Ren.
Jack: Again, I have to warn you, the Silencerz donât play around. This is your last chance to back out. If you do, I wonât blame you.
>The other hackers were showing some doubt. No doubt they were thinking about what Jack said... However, their doubt quickly fades.
Player: Our friends wouldnât have called us here if they didnât we could handle the risk. We trust them.
Safeword: Heâs right. They even helped M.A.Y.H.E.M. with a little something. Time to repay the favor.
Conor: Same with me, Chim-Chim, and our friends.
Vince: And us, too.
Lunch: I know this is the first time weâre meeting Alibabaâs friends, but we will help them.
Adi: Me and the other Future Avengers trust Ren, Yusuke, and the others.
Forge 1: We also just met, but we trust you.
Forge 2: Yeah.
Berto: (curious) Espeda, M.A.Y.H.E.M.? Racer Academy? And Arus? Arenât those the places the Phantom Thieves... You know what? Never mind. I donât wanna know.
Taro: (smiling a bit) Good. I donât think you could keep your mouth shut.
Six: Look, what weâre trying to say is that weâre in. Weâll help you.
Jack: (with a look of gratitude) Thank you all.
Taro: Good luck, you guys. The fate of the World Race and Highway 35 is in your hands.
No pressure or anything.
Six: Believe me, weâve seen through demons in a cybernetic world.
Safeword: Fight an evil organization everyday.
Player: What Safeword said.
Adi: Ditto, with a side of other villains.
Conor: I think we can handle it.
Vert: (smiling) Then letâs get to it!
Oracle: Iâve already got a lock on the mainframe. Ready when you are.
Conor: Ready as weâll ever be.
>With that, Chim-Chim transforms into a motorcycle and Conor gets on.
In-Su: How are we suppose to keep up with that?
Oracle: Leave that to me.
>Oracle programs something into her laptop and something appears on the main screen.
What in the world!?
Oracle: I hope you donât mind. I just thought weâd go with something more appropriate. This Johanna pretty much has all the things the original has for extra protection. Sophia, youâre driving. In-Su, Iâm adding a side car for you.
>Oracle types something on her computer and a side car appears on Cyber Johanna. Sophie switches to her Phantom Thief attire.
Are you ready, In-Su chan?
In-Su: (now wearing a purple helmet with M.A.Y.H.E.M.âs fleur-de-lis which was blue on it) Ready.
Conor: Then letâs get going!
>With that, Sophie and In-Su get on Cyber Johanna and they, along with Conor and Chim-Chim, ride off.
>A little later, we were at the mainframe of the Silencerz. It was shaped like a giant tower with the Silencerzâ logo on it.
Sophie: This must be it.
Yu-ichi: You can already tell that theyâre hiding something here.
Forge 2: And weâll find out those secrets soon enough. Time to get to work.
Lunch: Letâs see what weâve got here.
>Lunch begins hacking into the first line of protection.
>Meanwhile in the Silencerzâ Headquarters in an unknown location, an alarm goes off in the computer room.
We have a problem. Call #1.
>Almost immediately, another Silencer comes in.
What is it, #2? What happened?
Silencer #2: Someone is trying to hack into our mainframe.
Silencer #1: So what else is new? Have you got a lock on where the source of the hacking is from?
Silencer #37: (donât ask, weâre using their numbers) Not yet. We are still trying to find it. But we have got a lock on the hackerâs virus.
Silencer #5: I do not know what to make of this.
Silencer #1: A virus based on a ghost? Then I suggest you try busting it.
>Some of the Silencerz began typing something.
>Back in Cyberspace, the Spookiesâ virus was phasing open a way when something appears near them. They looked like four men in jumpsuits curing some kind of large device on their backs that had guns attached to them.
In-Su: (confused) Are those... the Ghostbusters?
Jack: I told you, every trick in the book.
>The Cyber Ghostbusters begin firing at the Sppokiesâ virus ghosts.
Conor: Time to go to work, Chim-Chim!
Chim-Chim: *chirp*
>Conor and Chim-Chim begin fighting off the Cyber Ghostbusters. In-Su and Sophie join in as well. In-Suâs dance moves already makes her a capable fighter and Sophie was swinging her yo-yos. After a while, Sophie, In-Su, Conor, and Chim-Chim manages to beat the Cyber Ghostbusters, but they had completely destroyed the Spookiesâ virus.
Safeword: Our turn now!
>Safeword, Joule, Mixer, and Yeti, begin typing.
>At Silencerz HQ...
Silencer #20: This does not look right. What do we do?
Silencer #12: Try typing âcookieâ, you idiot.
Silencer #1: Hey, be nice. And I do not think that would work. I have seen this movie before. Try regular anti-virus software.
Silencer #20: Yes, sir.
>Back in Cyberspace, the first few defenses have been broken though. Suddenly, a bright light flashes and the virus is deleted.
Forge 1: (smiling) You ready for this?
Forge 2: (also smiling) You know it!
>Forge 1 and Forge 2 upload their viruses.
Forge 2: Scott, this is for you, man.
>The two viruses begin attack the Sliencerzâ other defenses. Vert was looking at Forge 2âČs virus.
Joker: Is something wrong, Vert?
Vert: Something about Forge 2âČs virus that reminds me of someone... But Iâll think more about it later.
>Back at Silencerz HQ...
Silencer #3: Now we have viruses based on mutants?
Silencer #2: Be nice. One of my relatives was a mutant.
Silencer #1: Either way, we cannot let them through.
Silencer #3: I know.
>Silencer #3 begins programming something.
>Back in Cyberspace, Forge 1âČs virus and Forge 2âČs virus managed to break through more lines of defenses.
In-Su: It looks like weâre making progress.
Conor: Keep it up, you guys!
>Suddenly, something appears... Something big.
Forge 1: That canât be good.
Sophie: I can help them with this. Time to show you my own power. Persona!
Pidge: (surprised smile) Whoa! I didnât think she had one, too.
Vince: But there are robots who do.
Six: I think I read something about that... And dreamed about it.
Berto: Like I said, I donât wanna know.
>Sophie and Pandora fight the Anti-Virus Sentinels along with the Forgesâ viruses.
Player: With them busy, looks like Iâm going up to the plate.
>With that, Player begins typing something and a new virus comes up. It looked like Carmen Sandiego, but a little blue.
Player: I hope Red doesnât get too upset for changing her colors.
>Playerâs virus begins using an enlarged version of her laser cuter to cut through the defenses.
>Back at Silencerz HQ.
Silencer #7: They are still coming!
Silencer #1: This is getting out of hand. Have you found the source of the attack yet?
Silencer #37: It is hard to tell. They are coming from multiple sources.
Silencer #1: See if you can find the closest source. We will start there.
Silencer #37: Yes, sir.
Silencer #40: I will deal with the current virus.
>Back in Cyberspace, Playerâs virus has cut through more of the mainframeâs defenses and the Anti-Virus Sentinels have been deleted.
Oracle: Thereâs only a few left. Keep going, weâre almost there!
Adi: I think I have something thatâll move us faster.
>Then, a virus that looks like a queen bee appears with a swarm.
Adi: I got the idea from some childrenâs show. Iâll tell you more about it later.
>The bee viruses begin helping Playerâs virus cut get through more of the defenses along with the Forgesâ viruses. Suddenly, something flies up.
Adi: These guys donât quit, do they?
>The virus swarm fights off against the security algorithms with Sophie, Pandora, and the Forgesâ viruses while Conor and Chim-Chim break through the last of the walls.
Conor: Just a little more...
>Finally, the last of the security walls were gone. But no sooner they were, a blast of flames came and nearly blew Conor and Chim-Chim away!
Conor: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!
In-Su: You mean great walls of fire. Itâs a firewall. Donât worry, Iâve got this.
Pidge: Hold on, I have something that could help you.
>Suddenly, some big gun that resembles a lion appears in In-Suâs hands.
Vince: This wind blaster will help blow out the flames. But donât use it now. Wait until youâre on the other side of the wall to use it, or you might blow the flames at the files and destroy them.
In-Su: Right. Here I go.
>With that, In-Su dances her way through the flames until she finally got to the other side.
In-Su: Stand back!
>Then, with a large blast of wind, the firewall was out. Conor and Chim-Chim go in.
In-Su: Okay, weâre in.
Jack: Well done, kids! Now, the file youâre looking for is labeled â200335âł.
Oracle: Weâre searching now.
>Outside the mainframe, the security algorithms were still coming.
Sophie: This looks bad, weâre running out of room. If only we had at least one more to help us.
Berto: Leave that to me! Iâve got the perfect thing!
>Berto then uploads his own virus.
>Bertoâs virus assists Sophie, Pandora, and the Forgesâ viruses as In-Su, Conor, Chim-Chim, and the other hackers search for the file.
>At Silcencerz HQ.
Silencer #20: Damn! They are in the mainframe.
Silencer #1: You still have not found them?
Silencer #3: We might be able trace them if they find they file they are looking for.
Silencer #1: Then do it.
>With that, the Silencerz begin their work.
>Back in Cyberspace, the Silcencerzâ security algorithms were finally defeated.
Sophie: We did it! Thank you all.
>The viruses gestured a âYouâre welcomeâ to Sophie and disappear back to where they came from.
Vince: That virus of your, Forge 2, it makes me wonder.
Forge 2: Wonder what?
Vince: If... If I should have asked my dream brother from New Olympia to help us, too... Oh well, Iâll ask him next time.
Vince: Youâll have to get through his Big Buddy, Hunkâs dream brother. And I donât think my own DB would be too happy. Especially after everything thatâs happened in recent months. But Iâm sure I can talk him into it.
Panther: Dream brother?
Queen: You mean...
My gift of connecting peopleâs minds and hearts with my singing strikes again.
Conor: Hey, I think we found it!
>Conor, Chim-Chim, In-Su, and Sophie who joined them, found a file that looked like a file cabinet. One of the drawers was labeled 200335.
Jack: Thatâs it!
Sophie: We found the file. Letâs copy it.
>Sophie opens the drawer show many files. No sooner did she open it, it starts flashing and making a siren sound.
Spinner: (covering his ears) Yikes, that loud!
Jack: Thatâs the alarm for the failsafe. You now have 15 minutes to copy the file before it deletes itself permanently.
Oracle: Leave it to me. Iâll just use the same program I created to copy Makotoâs Sisâs computer.
Queen: Letâs hope it works on the Silencerzâ mainframe than it does Sisâs.
>Oracle enters the program and it begins to copy the file.
>At Silencerz HQ, the computer room was now flashing and alarms were ringing.
Silencer #3: They are copying the file! Now, if I could just... Got it! I got a lock. The source of the copying is coming from... some town nearby.
Silencer #1: You mean... Handlerâs Corners.
>Silencer #1 begins to leave.
Silencer #9: Sir, where are you going?
Silencer #1: (turning back) To visit an old amigo.
>With that, Silencer #1 leaves. Suddenly, the alarm gets louder.
Silencer #20: What is happening!?
Silencer #3: This looks bad. Someone else is in the mainframe. They are also copying the file.
>Back in Cyberspace.
Oracle: This doesnât look good. Thereâs someone else here. Someoneâs also copying this file.
>Sure enough, something comes out of the file cabinet. It was a little blue bad... wearing a pair of glasses and had the most ugliest comb-over ever.
Itâs Strega! What the hell do they want?
Vert: Who?
Taro: Some cult.
Oracle: If theyâre also copying the file, then us copying it will be difficult.
Lunch: So, we may not be able copy the whole file?
Yu-ichi: Well that sucks.
Player: Iâm sure I think I might help with that. I mean, I canât stop Strega from also copying the file, but I think I have an idea what may happen and how to solve the problem.
Oracle: I hope so.
Jack: Hurry, only 9 minutes left.
>Oracleâs program tries its best to copy the file which is difficult as the program from Strega (most likely made by Jin) is also copying the file.
Jack: Only 6 minutes.
Oracle: Weâre almost done.
>Before we knew it, only 4 minutes left. Please copy it.
>3 minutes. Not much time left and the copying is still going.
>2 minutes. Thereâs still more.
>1 minute. Almost there.
>59 seconds... Come on. Come on! COME ON!
>10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
FILE DELETED. CONNECTION TERMINATED.
>The main screen goes to static. Then, Sophie is re-projected back with us, In-Su returns to M.A.Y.H.E.M.âs computer, and Conor and Chim-Chim are back in their real world forms.
Panther: Conor, Chim-Chim, are you two alright?
Conor: (a little dizzy) Weâre fine. Weâre used to this sort of thing.
In-Su: Iâm fine, too. My source code is a little frizzy, but that can be helped with a quick fix.
Joule: Youâve earned it, In-Su. Enjoy your nap.
>With that, In-Su shots off for now.
Vert: So, did we succeed in copying the file?
Oracle: Let me check.
>Oracle checks the copied file.
Well, Iâve got some bad news, good news, and some stressful news.
Agura: I had a feeling it wasnât going to be easy.
Oracle: Bad news: We werenât able to copy all of the research data. Good news: We did manage to copy most of it. Stressful news: Most of it is encrypted. Until we can decipher the code, you guys are going to have to wait a little longer.
Taro: I figured as much.
Berto: But with all of us, we should be able to crack the code.
Mixer: Afraid youâll have to count us out. We didnât tell Persephone that we did this and sheâs got a strict policy about messing with organizations other than L.E.G.I.O.N. without her permission.
Yeti: (looking down) ...
Mixer: (panicking) YETI, YOU TOLD HER!? SHEâS GONNA PUT ME ON COFFEE DUTY AGAIN!
Safeword: I see. If thatâs the case... Iâll take a double shot expresso.
Joulie: Iâll take a mocha.
Mixer: (shocked) Seriously?
>With that, we bid our M.A.Y.H.E.M. friend fair well for now and they leave.
Conor: Chim-Chim and I have to bow out, too. Speed will be back any minute and I donât want him to know what we did. I wanna keep it a surprise.
Pidge: Me and Vince have to go, too. I have a few castle defenses to upgrade.
Vince: And Iâm on standby. I know business is slow, but Keith says peace time is the best time to prepare for anything.
Joker: Right, see you all later.
>With that, Conor, Chim-Chim, Pidge, and Vince sign off.
Adi: The rest of us will stay and help you decipher the code.
Player: With Red on break, Iâve got time.
Oracle: Thanks, you guys.
Berto: Guess I better let Max, Steel, and Ferrus know Iâm gonna be busy for awhile.
Sherman: Weâll back you up.
Berto: Gracias.
Spinner: Thatâs what primos are for.
>With that, Oracle and our hacker friends begin their work to unlock Dr. Tezlaâs research to reopen the portal to Highway 35 and bring back the World Race.
Oracle: But I am curious about one thing: What does Strega want with Tezlaâs research?
>Meanwhile in an unknown location...
Crap! Of course the Phantom Thieves would be after this file.
Yeah. Talk about rotten luck.
Uh-huh.
Maybe you should have some kind of alert for them.
Jin: Iâll think about that. Right now, thanks to their hacking into the Silencerzâ mainframe for that file, I only copied most of it, but not all of it. Not to mention itâs encrypted.
I wouldnât say that. Iâd say that you copied plenty. And Iâm sure with our new alliesâ help, we might be able to unlock all of Dr. Tezlaâs secrets.
Jin: Why are we even doing this, anyway? Since when are we interested in a long forgotten and completely no longer popular race?
Takaya: You would be surprised by what one can learn from things like this. After all, there are many ways to achieve your goals. Am I correct?
>Someone comes out of the shadows... in a dance-like manner.
Thatâs right, ghosty boy. I bet even M.A.Y.H.E.M. couldnât think of something like this.
Jin: (a bit confused) Even though they were just in the mainframe as well.
Gaunt: A minor mishap. Something weâll fix soon.
Myles: With a voice like that, itâs hard to say heâs wrong.
Evan: Uh-huh.
Gaunt: (with a small bow) Thank you.
Jin: So, can L.E.G.I.O.N. help with deciphering the code?
Gaunt: Maybe. Even we canât work miracles that quickly. Just look at me. At first, I was only partially restored. I didnât even have my-
Jin: (quickly with a frown) Okay, okay, we get the picture!
Takaya: Soon, weâll gain what weâre after... Soon...
>What will happen next?
NOTE: We apologize if this post is a little long. We thought this would be the end of this heist, but like we said, this post was a little long. The last post for this heist will come soon.
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The (not so) Natural Father
The (not so) Natural Father: Â A Captain America Fanfic
Avengers as Parents Drabbles Thor | Clint | Natasha | Bucky | Sam | Bruce | Tony | Rhodey | Scott | Wanda | TâChalla | Steve
Buy me a â
Character Pairing: Â Steve Rogers x F!Reader
Word Count: Â 1233
Warnings: Parenting Fluff
Synopsis: Â The super serum made Steve good at a lot of things. Heâs not so sure if parenting is one of them.
The (not so) Natural Father
âDaddy!â Â The sound of his daughter, hysterical and crying filled the air as she came flying through the house. Â Steve looked up just in time to catch the tiny bundle of energy as she flew into his chest and buried her face in it. Â Steveâs arms automatically closed around her.
As the leader of the Avengers, it had become a long-running joke that Steve was the dad of the group. Â Despite the fact if you just looked at how long heâd been awake and experiencing an actual life he was one of the youngest members of the team. Â It was pretty common to hear either Clint or Tony spout off a âYes, dadâ when he gave them an order they didnât want to follow. Â They told him he gave the best âIâm not mad, Iâm just disappointedâ speeches of anyone. Â That he always knew what to say when one of them was low. Â So when youâd fallen pregnant the assumption by everyone was heâd just be a natural.
People did keep saying he was a good dad. Â So why did he always feel like he was questioning every single decision he made?
From small things to what brand of diaper they should wear as babies. Â To more important things like where they should go to school. Â Everything that he did in relation to his children he double guessed. Â The only thing that had come easily to him was vaccination and that was just because heâd lived through a world where those childhood diseases were all running rampant and he knew from first-hand experience how important it was. Â Even still, when their little faces looked at him like heâd betrayed them and started bawling he felt guilty for doing it.
Sarah sobbed against his chest. Â That whole body, canât catch your breath, cry that only small children can really pull off properly. Â âWhatâs wrong, little one?â Â Steve said, holding the little girl against him and rubbing her back in small circles.
âJa - Ja - Jamie - pu- pu -pu - puâŠâ  She stammered through her sobs.
âHoney, deep breaths.â Â He said, rubbing her back in small circles. Â He sighed. Â Here was a problem he faced regularly. Â His children took after him too much. Â It was almost like they only got his genes. Â His eyes, his hair, his nose. Â Even the super serum passed on to them, and heâd never even considered that as a possibility. Â Heâd always assumed that that would be something he carried in his blood. Â Not something that had fundamentally altered his DNA. Â They also got his very strong ideas about what was right and what was wrong. Â Given they were still small, that was narrowed to trivial things on the larger scale of the world but so very important in the eyes of children. Â They also very occasionally ended up in small violent outbursts as sometimes happens with children and was perhaps the least surprising thing any children of Steveâs ended up doing. Â âJames!â Â He called out.
Sarahâs chest heaved and she tried speaking again. Â âH - he - he pushed me over, daddy!â Â She wailed and hid back into her chest. Â Her tears started to soak through his shirt.
âAre you hurt?â Â He asked, still rubbing her back in small circles. Â âJames!â
âM - m - my knee.â Â She wailed.
Steve sat her back and looked at her knee. Â There was a small scrape but it had already started healing. Â In the next few hours, it would have healed. Â Steve lifted her up in the air and kissed her knee, following up by blowing a raspberry on her stomach. Â âJames!â Â He yelled as he settled her down on his lap again.
The miniaturized version of Steve stepped through the door his hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. Â âJames,â Â Steve said, his best âIâm not mad just disappointed voice. Â âDid you push your sister?â
âYeah, but sheâŠâ  James protested.
âJames, when is that ever the answer?â Â Steve said, feeling quite hypocritical really. Â He knew one day that particular question was coming back to bite him in a big way. Â He really needed a better speech for situations like this. Â Now was not the time to improvise though.
âBut, daddy sheâŠâ  James whined.
Steve narrowed his eyes. Â âJames.â
The little boy dropped his head and kicked the ground. Â âSorry, daddy.â
âIâm not the one you should be sorry to,â Â Steve said.
âSorry, Sarah.â Â James poured.
âNow what do you think you can do to make her feel better? Â She cut her leg.â Â Steve asked.
Jamesâ face scrunched up as he thought of a solution to the problem. Â âI could get a band-aid and kiss it better.â
âWill that make you feel better, Sarah?â Â Steve asked.
Sarah nodded her head and James ran off. Â He returned a little while later with a packet of Sesame Street character Band-Aids. Â Steve took the box and help put a plaster on Sarahâs knee. Â James then kissed it better.
âThat was very kind, Jamie. Â Now did you want to talk about what upset you so much you pushed your sister over.â Â Steve asked.
âShe -â Â James started before taking a big breath in. Â âShe tried to take the lego I was using and then she knocked down the whole thing. It got all smashed. Â I told her not to.â
âSarah is this true?â Â Steve asked.
âI just wanted to play too,â Â Sarah whined.
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. Â âYou really upset your brother. Â How do you think you can help make up for it?â
Sarah looked at her brother and scrunched her little face up while she thought. Â âI could get him a cookie.â Â She suggested.
âThatâs not reallyâŠâ  Steve started.
âNo, I want a cookie. Â A cookie would make me happy.â Â James said.
Sarah wriggled out of Steveâs lap and the two children ran off in the direction of the kitchen. Â Steve sighed and got up following after them.
You were in the kitchen stacking the dishwasher when your two children came running in. Â âDaddy said we can have a cookie.â Â They said over the top of each other.
âHe what?â Â You ask standing up and watching them as they start pushing furniture around so they can climb up on the benches. Â You narrow your eyes at Steve as he stepped through the door.
âI didnât say they could. Â I did the whole, fix the issue thing. Â I thought she would say rebuild the thing she smashed.â Â Steve explained.
You reached over to the cookie jar and took it out of their reach. Â âAnd Sarah said cookie instead?â
Steve nodded. Â âI really have no idea what Iâm doing, most of the time.â
You chuckled and pulled two cookies out of the jar. Â Sarah and James climbed down and stood in front of you bouncing on their feet. Â You handed them each a cookie. Â âJust one, and you can go outside and play with Kitty.â
âOkay, mommy.â Â They said in unison and ran out the back door.
You put the cookie jar back again and came over to Steve and wrapped your arms around his neck. Â âI let the kids name our dog Kitty. Â I feel like that most of the time too. Â Youâre a natural. Â Donât worry about it.â
âYou think?â Â Steve asked looking down at you. Â
You reached up and ran your hand along his jaw. Â âI know.â Â You said, and leaned up and kissed him.
#steve rogers#captain america#steve rogers x reader#captain america fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#reader insert#fluff#avengers as parents drabbles#the (not so) natural father
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Adventures in America, Ch. 7 - The Mix-Up Kid
In which the storm chasers enjoy the delights of a Waffle House
Adam learns Warlockâs birthday
And a storm brews ahead
Yes, figuratively, but also literally. This is a tornado-chasing fanfiction, honestly. Did you think I wouldnât actually put a tornado in the damn thing?
Start from the beginning: ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6
or follow this link to my fanfiction tag
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Adam could have whooped when Noel informed him and Lucky that they wouldnât be meeting in the lobby until eight the next morning. âThereâs gonna be storms, probably to the northeast, but itâll be afternoon by the looks of it. Get some sleep tonight, boys, anâ we can meet up for a late breakfast and decide where weâre headed.â
They didnât unpack much - pajamas, toothbrushes, and that was about it. Adam took a hot shower, quick as he could, and when he got out, he found Lucky laying on top of his covers, earbuds in, face-timing with a friend. Adam gave him a thumbs-up - his turn for the shower if he wanted it - and settled onto his own bed, pulling his phone out and making sure he was connected to the wifi before he texted his parents to see if they were awake - they hadnât been, but they were so eager to hear from him that they took his call, voices thick with sleep but happy nonetheless. He could hear Dog snoring on their bed in the background.
They were happy to talk to him. They were glad to hear he was having fun, and reminded him to be careful and stay safe. He told them about Lucky, and Noel and Rachael, and everything heâd learned so far. âIt sounds like a good experience,â Arthur Young said. âJust ah ⊠you do know when the tornadoes are coming, donât you?â
âI mean, largely. They can be unpredictable.â He heard his mother make a worried noise. âNo, mum, but like, they have this program called Baron, itâs running all the time, and it shows radar and gives warnings, and Rachael and Noel have been doing this for ages, so theyâre really good at it too. And careful.â He considered telling them about the safety precautions Noel had reviewed earlier, but considered that the things he had warned them against might actually be more alarming than the safety instructions that followed, and he decided to leave it out. âAnyway, you donât need to worry, promise. Howâs things at home?â
âAll well and good,â his mother replied. âWe miss you of course, and Dog misses you - he was sniffing around in your room the day you left - but Anathema said sheâd have a word with him and heâs settled down since then.â He heard the dogâs collar jingle as his mother, or father maybe, presumably gave him a scritch behind the ears. âHeâs a very good boy.â
Adam grinned at the unmistakable sound of a small dogâs tail wagging so hard it was beating against the bed cover. âAw, yeah. Give him a hug for me, yeah?â
âOf course, love. Arthur, hug Dog, would you? Heâs closer to you.â Adamâs mother yawned, drowning out some of the grumbles in the background and the sounds of more happy tail-wagging. âHave you spoken to your friends? Oh, and Anathema and Newt asked about you this afternoon.â
âNot yet, figured itâs kind of late. Iâll send an email.â He yawned as well, prompted by his mother. âMaybe in the morning. You can tell them Iâm good though, if you see anybody.â He yawned again. âSorry, Iâm kind of beat.â
âJet lag,â his father answered sagely. âYou ought to get some rest then, Adam.â
âYou guys too,â the boy added earnestly. âSorry to call so early - Iâm all messed up with the time zones -â
âNo, Adam, weâve been waiting to hear from you.â He smiled, and the slight ache of homesickness that had settled in his chest as soon as heâd boarded the plane lifted a little at the warmth in her voice. âText anytime, love, and weâll talk if we can.â She blew a kiss into the phone. âBut get some rest for now, alright? Sleep well, and let us know how tomorrow goes!â
âWill do, Mum, Dad. Talk to you guys later. Lots of love.â He ended the call, and sat back against the pillows, continuing to tap on his phone, sending the video of the hail storm off to the group and his sister. To his surprise, Pep texted back almost immediately, sending a message of âDude what!â. He paused. Then he called.
âHey storm rider!â she answered. âWhatâs up, Adam? Cool video!â
He couldnât help but grin. âHah. What are you doing up?â
âDriving in to London with the girls later today, and I couldnât sleep. Hopefully Addie is willing to drive because Iâm going to be napping.â She yawned. âSo howâs America?â
âCrazy.â He laughed. âI went to Dunkin Donuts this morning.â
âMm. America runs on Dunkin, Iâm told. You meet anyone cool?â
âWell, the people Iâm with are really cool.â She made a curious little noise. âSo thereâs Noel and Rachael, the guides - I told you about them. Theyâre super nice. And I think between the two of them they might know everything about weather. We drove for like, 11 hours today, and you know we only went through two entire states?â
âWow.â
âAnd I napped for part of it but a lot of it they were teaching us stuff ⊠Man, Pep, thereâs so much.â He scrubbed his face with his hand. âI know you guys always made fun of me for how much I talk about weather sometimes, but honestly I donât know like ⊠anything.â
âWell, maybe not compared to the experts,â she teased. âBut compared to me and Brian and Wensley you know way more than any of us.â She coughed. âSo whoâs âusâ on your trip? Thereâs another student?â
âOh! Yeah. Heâs cool.â Adam heard the shower shut off, and wondered how much he should really say. âHeâs American, but he lived in London for a while, he said. You know, I think his dad might have even worked at the air base?â
âNo,â Pepper laughed. âNo way. Only you, Adam, would find the one American in the entire world who even knows about Tadfield and grew up in London. And of course heâs obsessed with weather. You should find out if he lived in Tadfield at any point, like when he was a baby or something.â
Adam considered it. âNah,â he said at length.âWhatâre the odds?â He yawned, as Lucky stepped out of the bathroom, dressed only in boxers, scrubbing his hair dry with a towel. âIâm sure weâll talk about it at some point.â
âYouâd better. Tired?â
âYeah.â
âYeah, me too.â He heard the sound of sheets and pillows being pushed around. âMight try to get a couple hours before I have to go.â
ââM gonna go to sleep too.â He let his eyes drift closed. âJet lagâs brutal.â
âI bet. And all that time in the car probably didnât help.â She yawned again. âCan you send us more videos tomorrow?â
âIf I see anything, yeah.â
âYou think you might?â
âDunno. Everythingâs supposed to happen in the afternoon, so weâre gonna wait to see what the morning looks like.â
âWell. Send us stuff even if you donât see anything. Send us videos of weird Americans.â
âYeah, okay. Talk to you later, Pep.â He hung up the phone, laughing while he did so.
Lucky flopped into his own bed, yanking the covers up over himself. âFriends?â
âYeah, back home. Pepper.â
âIsnât England like ⊠six hours ahead of us?â
âYeah.â Adam shrugged. âI dunno, she said she was up. Figured Iâd give her a call.â He grinned at his phone, before locking the screen and plugging it in to charge. âI sent the gang a video of the hail. Most of them probâly never seen hail that big before.â
âYeah, that was wild.â He folded his hands behind his head. âHope we get a tornado tomorrow.â
âThatâd be cool.â He sighed. âPep told me to send more videos. Said if there wasnât anything interesting in the weather I could send her videos of crazy Americans.â
Lucky laughed. âIâll act extra crazy tomorrow if we donât get any weather. You can send her a video.â
âIâm not sure sheâd count you since you grew up in London.â
âNah, only until I was eleven, and even then other than the like ⊠the housekeepers and the gardner, everyone was American. Well, except Nanny. But she was Scottish.â He shrugged. âThen my dad got reassigned back to the States and Iâve lived stateside ever since. So Iâm pretty American.â
âEleven?â Adam asked, pointedly not opening his eyes. âHuh.â
âYeah it was weird.â Lucky yawned. âThere was this whole thing in the middle east and then boom, back to America, no more England. Honestly, I think my mom was just sick of random diplomatic trips. Iâll tell you about it some time, that whole trip to the middle east was so weird.â
âYeah,â Adam replied, faintly, feigning fatigue. âYeah, gotta remember to tell me about it. Never been to the middle east.â
âYouâre not missing anything. Avocado farms and weird professors and thatâs about it, far as I remember.â He shut the light off, and rolled over, away from Adam. âGânight, dude.â
âNight,â said Adam, on autopilot. Minutes later, he heard quiet snoring, and all the better, because his mind was racing.
Most eighteen-year-old boys are, by nature, not particularly introspective. They may be bright, the may be clever, they may be well-educated and top of their class and very high-achieving, but itâs the rare boy who is capable of reflecting on all of the information presented to him, reconciling it with what he already knows, and then reaching accurate, logical conclusions that may be distressing to him. Often, denial worms its way in early, and until the correct answer knocks the boy in question directly on the head, the powerful lure of denial will always draw him away, convince him that another conclusion is more likely, or more desirable.
Adam Young, though, was not most eighteen-year-old boys. To start, he was the Antichrist, even if heâd turned his back on that years ago and preferred not to think of himself in those terms. Further, he was quietly introspective, a trait heâd developed due to, well, being the Antichrist, and always, in spite of himself, watching his own thoughts for hints of Not Being Adam. Messing About. Antichristly things, essentially.
That could be to his advantage even now, though. And right now, his mind was cranking into overdrive, combing through what he knew. Warlock Dowling - father might have worked in Tadfield, was working in England when Warlock - Lucky - was born, Lucky was raised in England. Satanist nanny and monk gardner. Random trip to the middle east when he was eleven, followed by a sudden departure from London, never to return to the UK again. Or the middle east, come to think of it.
Adam wondered if he had stayed in touch with anybody from London. Particularly, the nanny and the gardner.
It all sounded very suspicious.
âWe would have been with you from the beginning, you know, but there was a mix-up,â Aziraphale had told him once, years ago. Adam remembered that heâd gone to Aziraphale crying - it happened sometimes, more then but still these days, blessedly rarely - about what heâd done in the few brief hours when he really was the Antichrist. The things he might have brought about. The fate he and the world had so narrowly avoided. âWe would have loved to be with you.â Adam remembered how the angel had hugged him, stroked his hair, dried his tears. âIt was an unfair burden to lay at your feet, Adam, and Crowley and I always wanted to help but ⊠there was a mistake. Best laid plans, and all that. It doesnât undo what was done, and I am frightfully sorry about the lead-up, the way we treated - or didnât treat - you, but know that had we known, we would have been there. But Adam, even then, you were brilliant. You are brilliant.â
There was a mix-up.
Warlock Dowling snored gently.
-Â
The next morning dawned hot and humid. Lucky and Adam woke with the alarm around nine, and lazily set about getting ready for the day. Adam checked his phone to find messages from his friends about the hail storm (âdonât let those brain you,â from his sister and, âdude what if it hits you,â from Brian), replied when he felt it was indicated, and pulled on a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. Lucky was ready to go shortly after, and they stepped out of the motel room and into the air. Lucky made a noise of disgust.
âTalk about humid.â
âUgh, yeah,â Adam agreed, trying to ignore how his t-shirt was already sticking to his skin, even though heâd only just come outside. âGood storm weather though, yeah?â
âShould be. Iâm sure weâll get a look at the radar over breakfast.â He rubbed his hands together. âLetâs get us a tornado today, huh?â
âOr some serious hail,â Adam agreed. A part of him - a large part of him - wanted to say sod it to the weather and have a serious talk with Lucky about his upbringing, his birth, his life to that point. How old was Lucky? They were roughly the same age, Adam knew that, but they could easily be a year or so apart, and all of the stuff that sounded suspiciously occult might have just been a coincidence. After all, it was all relatively easy to explain, in the harsh light and oppressive humidity of the Oklahoma day: American diplomat posted at a British airbase, family moved to the nearest metropolitan area, lived there for years, made a brief foray to the middle east - and America was so involved there around that time, Adam remembered, that that was hardly unusual - and then returned to America. Unusual, certainly, but not ⊠occult. And having a diplomat for a father wasnât exactly commonplace, so even then a bit of unusual-ness could be forgiven.
The Scottish Satanist nanny, though, reared her presence in his mind. The monk gardner. Good and evil.
Adam shook his head, when he realized that Lucky was speaking to him. Theyâd walked to the truck together while Adam thought and, on autopilot, he had set his stuff in the bed of the truck and closed the gate. Noel and Rachael were nowhere to be seen, not yet, but Adam thought he heard them talking on the other side of the motel. âHuh?â he said, looking to Lucky.
âNothing,â the other boy shrugged. âJust talking about the radar. All this moisture and warmth - if we have any cold air from the northwest at all, we run a really good chance of catching a storm today.â
âYup.â Adam leaned back against the truck and looked around the parking lot idly, arms crossed over his chest in spite of the heat. He met eyes with a stranger - a businessman, by the looks of him, dressed all in brown, with neatly-combed salt-and-pepper hair - that was sitting on the trunk of his rental car, reading a book. The two exchanged taut smiles, and the stranger returned to his book. âHopefully out in the middle of nowhere, where we can get a good luck without too much people anâ stuff being around.â
âYeah, thatâd be ideal.â Lucky waved to Noel and Rachael as they approached. âHey guys!â
Rachael raised her thermos in greeting. âMorning morning! You guys ready to hit it? The radar looks pretty good.â
âOh, yeah?â
âYep.â Adam opened the back gate of the truck for her, and she tossed her bag in. âYou hungry? Iâm starving. Hop in, weâre gonna hit the Waffle House and go over the game plan.â
âNo Dunkin?â Lucky looked surprised.
âGonna mix it up today, get exciting.â Noel snickered. âAnd also she has her own bag that she used to brew a pot in the room earlier this morning, so sheâs already fueled-up.â He dropped his voice to a stage whisper. âSheâs an addict, guys, Iâm telling you.â
The boys laughed, while Rachael pointed out, âThereâs worse things. Alright, load up, we have a storm to talk about, and I want some waffles!â
The Waffle House was such a uniquely American experience that Adam started taking video almost as soon as they entered. From the way the entire restaurant greeted them as they walked in, to the waiterâs accent, to the menu itself, he sent all of the snaps to his friends. There was no reply, not when it was so early in England, but he looked forward to the messages that would probably come through later, after everyone was up.Â
He tucked into a truly massive waffle and two eggs for breakfast, topped with a few strips of crispy bacon. It tasted exactly like heâd imagined it would, and he devoured it with gusto, finishing before Rachael even got through her second cup of coffee. Noel, still working at his omelet, pulled his laptop out of his bag and handed it over the table to Adam. âCheck out the radar, Adam, and see what you think. Thereâs some really interesting stuff shaping up; let me know where you think it might be.â
Adam cracked the computer open. Next to him, Lucky studied the screen intently with dark eyes while Adam poked the cursor around the radar screen, randomly at first, and then slowly in a more organized fashion, tracing fronts and pressure systems, gradually hovering more consistently over a spot in mid-Kansas. Lucky nodded, never speaking, when he agreed, pointing at times. Across the table, Noel and Rachael shared companionable silence, Rachael with her coffee cradled in her hands and Noel slowly working at his omelet.
âReady to show your work?â Rachael gestured to Adam to turn the laptop around, after he and Lucky had exchanged a few words and seemed to settle on a location. âLetâs see it.â
âI think,â Adam said slowly, pointing to the screen, âthe best shot of anything happening is going to be right around here.âÂ
âHey!â Rachael grinned broadly. âNice job, guys!â
âYeah?â They exchanged a high-five. âYeah!â
âMaybe a little more east,â Noel added, after heâd swallowed his last bite of omelet. âBut really good for day two! What made you settle on that area?â
Adam and Warlock traded off explanation duties as Rachael settled up with the waiter, she and Noel adding information and correcting them as needed. In the truck, they settled in, Rachael in the driverâs seat for the first leg, and set course for Kansas. There wouldnât be as much lecturing today, Noel assured them, and although Adam was eager to learn, he was truthfully a little grateful for the break. As they drove across the plains, he and Lucky put their headphones in, Adam listening to his downloaded playlist of tried-and-true favorites while he took video of the blue skies and white clouds, saving them to send later, when he could get to wi-fi. Around nine, he did get a text from Aziraphale - Crowleyâs phone, of course, but the grammar and punctuation gave the angel away - bidding him to stay safe and out of trouble. He smiled, faintly, and settled back in the seat to watch the landscape drift by.
Lunch was sandwiches from a little deli they passed on their way through a town for gas. Adam savored the turkey and cheese in the back of the truck, Noel informing them that the time would be tight for the afternoon storms and they couldnât afford a proper stop. He must have drifted off after he ate, because the next time he woke it was because Rachael had nudged his knee. She pointed to the screen of her laptop, excited. Adam leaned in. âLook at this,â she said, excited. Adam nudged Lucky, who had likewise drifted asleep with his headphones in, and ignored the muzzy noises the other boy made as he woke. âSee the body of it there? Itâs been holding steady for the last hour.â
Adam squinted. âIs that a hook echo?â He pointed to a part of the screen. Rachael, thoughtful, turned the screen to look. âAh, no! But it might be an elephant trunk-type signature âŠâ She studied it for a few seconds. âWeâll keep an eye on it. You awake, Lucky?â
âMm yeah.â Still blinking the sleep from his eyes, Lucky unbuckled his belt, the better to lean forward and study the computer.
âCheck out the base velocity data.â She changed views, and both boys blinked. âDo you know what youâre looking at?â
âNot ⊠really.â Adam cocked his head. âSomething about the wind speed in relation to the radar site?â
âI think Iâve seen it before,â Lucky chimed in. âIs it ⊠wait. Green away and red toward? Or red away? Or is it speed âŠâ
Rachael shook her head. âNot quite, but you guys are already ahead of the game - a lot of chasers your age donât know anything about base velocity until after their first chase. So Lucky, itâs red away, and green toward.â She pointed to the screen. âDoesnât really have anything to do with the speed of the winds, just how theyâre moving in relation to the weather station. So when weâre looking for rotation, obviously, we want to see red and green really close to each other, right?â
âMakes sense,â Lucky agreed.Â
âSo look here.â She pointed. âNow this stuff up here -â she twitched her hand to gesture vaguely at a scattering of red amongst green, â- I think is just artefact but this, this looks concentrated. See that?â
Adam and Lucky exchanged a look. âLike, itâs the dot, right?â Adam guessed.
âMore or less.â Rachael flipped back to the regular radar view. âBut you see how it correlates to a high-precipitation area? Means thereâs probably a mesocyclone in there.â She clenched and unclenched her fingers, excited. âWe might get a tornado today, guys. Definitely a lot of lightning, if the precipitation holds together.â
âHow far out are we?â Lucky asked, shifting anxiously in his seat.
Noel answered this time. âProbably an hour or two. We should start seeing some more interesting clouds soon. Keep your eyes peeled.â
Adam and Lucky settled back, each looking out of their own window, while Rachael and Noel talked about something else - photography, something with Rachaelâs lightning set-up - in the front seat.Â
âHave you ever seen a tornado?â Adam asked Lucky, as he craned his neck to see more to the front of the truck.
âOh, yeah! Not up close, but one time in Virginia there was a little one and I could see it from the back yard. It didnât last very long, but it was really cool. You?â
Adam thought about the tornado in Tadfield, when he was eleven. âNah,â he said, stuffing the memory away. âBeen in a few bigger storms, but you know ⊠England.â
âYeah, really severe weather isnât really a big thing over there, huh? They get tornados though sometimes. I think.â
âReally little ones usually, yeah,â Adam agreed. âThey donât last long, normally, or do much damage.â
âI know another chaser from England,â Noel chimed in as he drove. âHe comes over for the season every year. We were talking about it one time, he said that England has the second-most tornadoes per land area in the world.â
âSeriously?â Adam blinked.
âYeah, but itâs a small area.â Lucky frowned. âAnd theyâre not big?â
âNo,â Noel agreed. âNot usually. He lives right in what he calls Englandâs tornado alley.â He laughed. âA little southwest from London I think he said? I canât remember the name of the town. Most of the twisters there are around 95MPH wind speed, so theyâre not really that powerful, but he told me he chases over there sometimes, if heâs home when theyâre around. He showed me a few photos.â
âIt was pretty cool - you donât really think about tornadoes in England,â Rachael chipped in, absently. âWhere in England is Tadfield, Adam?â
âNorthwest of London,â he answered, using the city as a reference point. âAbout, oh, two hour drive I think, usually.â He did not add that most of the recent times he traveled to and from London by car, the car was being driven by a demon, and travel time was therefore significantly reduced. âItâs not a big village at all. Biggest thing there is the air base, and even thatâs pretty small now. Population-wise, anyway. Itâs mostly computers.â
âI think thatâs why my dad got reassigned to London,â Lucky said thoughtfully. âPlus, you know, diplomat. London made more sense I guess.â
âYeah it would do.â Adam looked sidelong at the other boy. Lucky didnât notice, staring out of the window. âSo you were born in London?â
âNo, actually. Itâs kind of a crazy story - my parents were supposed to fly in to the air base together, but my mom ended up having to go alone for a few days because there was something with the president? I dunno, Dad never actually said what it was. But anyway Mom flew in and then like, went into labor while she was staying at the air base waiting for him, so I ended up being born there.â He shook his head.
âOh.â Born at the air base. Adam could have laughed with the relief of it. Another thought occurred to him. âArenât pregnant women not supposed to fly, though?â
âI dunno, probably.â He shrugged. âI guess when the president says go, you go.â He snorted. âAnd then, so like, sheâs at the air base, but then she said they didnât have a doctor that knew how to deliver babies? So she had to go to this weird hospital with nuns to have me. Worked out in the end, Dad got there after I was born and we went to the place in London like theyâd planned.â
Weird hospital with nuns. The words echoed in Adamâs ears, in between the pounding rush of his own heartbeat. Weird nuns. Satanic nuns, maybe? How do you ask if someone was born in a hospital full of Satanic nuns?Â
âWild story,â said Rachael from the front seat, but as far as Adam was concerned, she might have been a thousand miles away. âSee the clouds up ahead?â
âSupercell!â he heard Lucky say, distantly, and the other boy - the other boy who was born in a weird hospital with nuns, to a politically-connected family, and then raised by a satanic nanny and had a monk for a gardener, and then went to the middle east when he was eleven - leaned forward to start chattering on with Rachael and Noel. About storms.
Adam loved weather, but at the moment, nothing could be further from his mind.
âWhenâs your birthday?â he blurted out, stopping the other three mid-conversation. And then he blinked, realizing what heâd done, as Rachael and Lucky looked to him, puzzled. âSorry, never mind, wasnât paying attention.â He forced a weak smile.
âAugust 23. You okay?â
âYeah,â Adam lied, immediately turning to look out the window. âWow, check out that cell!â
â... Yeah. Itâs big.â Lucky looked over to Rachael, who had raised her eyebrows questioningly. Even Noel was glancing curiously between the two students in the rearview mirror. Lucky shrugged at Rachael, the universal âI have no ideaâ gesture. âYou alright, Adam? Really?â
âFine.â We have the same birthday, born in a weird hospital with nuns, weâre probably the same age, they thought I was him, they thought he was it, it was him, it was this guy âŠ
âNerves are totally normal,â Noel said a little more quietly, not taking his eyes off the road, or the storm cell ahead. âDonât worry - weâre gonna get plenty of videos if anything happens, but weâll keep our distance. Itâs early still - by the time weâre five weeks in youâre gonna wanna drive the truck yourself.â
It was him, he was the mix-up, it was - And then Adam stopped himself, because some part of him realized that this wasnât productive, he wouldnât change or alter anything with this line of thinking, and furthermore, he was in the back of a truck which was headed straight for what looked, on radar, to be a supercell with significant tornadic potential. âNo, itâs fine,â he insisted, with a shake of his head. âNo, Iâm sorry. Sorry, really, I think Iâm just still a little messed up from the time change, but Iâm fine. Seriously,â he added, when Rachael and Lucky looked to him, radiating concern and curiosity. âLetâs do it - Iâm so ready.â
Rachael watched his face for another minute and then made a decision, apparently, because she nodded ever-so-slightly, and turned back to her laptop, maneuvering it so the two in the back seat could have a better view of the screen. âGood, because you see that on radar?â
âHook artefact,â Lucky breathed, as Adam watched the picture twist on the screen, the red blob at the center of the storm leaving a trail to the southwest that was just so slightly starting to curve north-easterly.Â
âI think so. Letâs take a look at the base velocity.â As she switched views she grinned, and Adam saw what she was moving to point toward right away. âSee it?â
âMesocyclone?â Adam asked, eyes wide, insisting his brain focus on the task at hand. There would be plenty of time to really process the fact that he was sitting with the other Antichrist - the not-Antichrist, the mix-up kid - and hunting tornadoes with him later.Â
âI think so.â Rachael looked up, out of the windshield, and the students followed her gaze. Ahead, the clouds towered, gray and ominous and piled on top of one another, all the way up to the stratosphere. âLooks good for a tornado, guys.â A bolt of lightning shot through the clouds, illuminating pockets and curves. âLetâs get it.â
-
Now with Chapter 8!
#good omens#good omens fanfic#good omens fanfiction#adam young#warlock dowling#aziraphale#crowley#the one where they go to america#i wish i didn't enjoy fanfiction so much#the love song to storm chasing via fanfic that no one ever asked for
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He Cried (A Bucky Barnes Oneshot)
Fandom: Marvel's The Avengers
Pairing/s: Dad!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Warning/s: Tiny angst, fluff, probably grammar and spelling errors here and there?
Word Count: 1,782
A/N: This just came through me and I realized it was Father's day as well so why not post one? Hope yall like it!
***
James Buchanan Barnes was born in the time when men were expected to be strong, physically and emotionally, given the stench of the looming death the war gave off. Tears were only acceptable at times of great dread, losing someone maybe the only one. The last time he thought he'll cry was when he bid goodbye to his loved ones as he was shipped to the war in Europe.
That changed after seeing the hopelessness in Steve Rogers' blue eyes, he was donning the Captain America suit at that exact moment, but all he saw were the eyes of that skinny guy in Brooklyn he always looked out for. After that, all was snow, cold air and the warmth of fresh hot tears escaping their confinements from his itching eyes. Death, indeed.
Then, HYDRA happened. How he wished he could've just died. How he wish the last tears he'd spent on was the pain of his death, but no. HYDRA made his life his living inferno. He's alive, at the mercy of rooms full of killers, making him one of them in the process.
Decades later came the unexpected. Bucky has turned into a new leaf after the so-called Civil War. His time in Wakanda healed the wounds, it indeed left scars, but it's better than having them all fresh in his-- and everybody's mind. The time and space pave the way to the Avengers' reunification; him, Steve and Tony most especially. That's when he met you.
Again, time worked its wonders. Now, he was sure the lone drop of tear he let on when you said the magical word 'Yes' while he kneels in front of you, with a ring box and a diamond ring he carefully picked almost half a year ago and was kept in great care all those times, would not be the last of this new kind of tears.
Tears that he never thought he would get and deserve. Tears of joy.
Your wedding day came, more of those came. Even the Avengers did so, it's not everyday they can be vulnerable, but for you guys, their tears were those of happiness, knowing you and Bucky deserve it. He wouldn't even want to talk about how much of those tears were shed when he first heard the wails coming from the then small, yet already lovely Rebecca Grace Barnes, or Becca, as you blurt out upon the first time you cooed her in your arms, your and Bucky's daughter.
Presently, you were roaming in your seat with your phone's video recorder on, gauging the Avengers', your family's reaction, to the thing before them; Becca, now four years old, in her first school performance. Soft giggles made its way pass your lips, before landing your lens to the person besides you. You focused your video camera on him for a few seconds, him still oblivious on what you were doing, before setting it into a stop and putting your phone back to your bag to enjoy the show, with your head resting on his shoulder while he reached for your forehead to rest a soft kiss there.
***
Although it wasn't a surprise Bucky turned to his best friend, Steve Rogers, to be Becca's godfather, Tony is sure as hell would give everything to be called Becca's stage uncle. After dinner, he set up the Audio-Visual room knowing you had captured the whole performance. He almost hired a professional videographer to film the whole thing and you have to bribe him with your famous cupcakes to stop him from doing so, that it was over-the-top for a seven minutes school performance. Everybody heaved a sigh of relief after he accepted the bribe and voice out their agreements with you.
The performance never failed to give smile on everybody's faces, as if they're seeing it the first time again. Once in a while, Becca would purposely look at your camera and wave, make a face, giggle and technically all she did was things that makes your hearts flutter, especially yours and Bucky's.
You two made this ethereal, fluffy human being. Lovely as she can be, it's pretty obvious how all of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes are wrap around her plump adorable fingers. You can't help the surge of pride running into your every nerves realising the job well done you made so far, alongside with everybody who helped you and Bucky raise Becca. The road to parenthood takes a lifetime to end, but it doesn't matter, you're happy, content and sure that with Bucky and the rest of the Avengers helping you, you can do it.
Then, the after performance's reactions came to view. Everyone chuckled at Sam's reaction when it was shown. Tony, being the overly dramatic uncle did nothing but to make a standing ovation; again, overly dramatic. Steve was clapping with his smile so bright you sure his cheeks was hurting. The other Avengers have various reaction to it, then came the father. Tony snorted upon seeing the ever stoic Bucky Barnes shed a tear.
"So, Tin Man knows how to cry? Thought you're all in the 'brooding' thing?" Sam, of course, would take all the chance to laugh in the expense of your husband, this is one of it.
"Shut it, Stark." he half-heartedly glared before laughter erupts from his chest filling the whole room and then prompted the other to do the same.
You were also in the midst of laughing before noticing the exiting figure of your daughter, her back on everybody while they're busy chiding. You slip yourself away from Bucky and stood up, earning everybody's attention, before pointing to your daughter. Walking closer, you noticed her shoulders slacked, your heart ached at the sight. Becca has always been a lively kid, whatever prompted her to leave without saying anything, even to you, worries you.
"Becca, baby?"
"'M sweepy, mum..." Sleepy? She asked herself. It's only six pm and Tony had promised her ice cream, Becca never says no to ice cream.
"Sweetheart, anything wrong?" You cooed, she shook her head lightly. You heard rustling behind you and felt that familiar body heat near you, Bucky.
"Hey, baby doll? It's dada--" You saw how Bucky tried to reach Becca's shoulder with his flesh hand, about to turn her, but it's like Becca knew it herself, she twirled around but landed her face on the crook of your shoulder, her tiny arms clinged onto your neck as if her life depends on it, before a heartbreaking sob made its way to your ears.
"Becca?" Your eyes opened wide upon the sudden outburst of your daughter and you tried to pry her away from you, wanting to take a look on her face, she wouldn't budge though and instead tighten her embrace on you. "Becca, baby are you hurt?" Panic is obvious in your voice, everybody is now crowding around you, just giving you enough space, you were massaging Becca's dark hair, a trait she shares with her father, when you felt Bucky shifts towards the side of your shoulders Becca leaned her face on.
"Baby doll you're making us nervous here. Dada is too old for this." You knew he tried his best to make light of the situation after hearing the panic crept onto you, but the strain in his voice betrayed him. "Baby doll, are you hurt? Did anybody hurt you, tell Dada, I'll--"
Then, as if her lips found her small voice from within, you would've all missed it if not for the quietness and panic surrounding the room.
"Dada."
"What's that, baby?" You now were able to pry her face away from your neck and take her appearance in. Her eyes bloodshot, nose now resembles a ripe apple, cheeks flushed, it reminded you of the time Bucky wakes from his nightmares. Again, your heart felt nothing but great deal of sadness, your Becca is so distraught.
"What's with Dada, baby?"
"Dada don't love me anymore." She whispered, looking down the floor.
Bucky and you looked at each other, bewildered by her confession. You pressed a small kiss on her forehead before locking your hands with your husband's, he took it as a sign to come nearer. Becca flinched upon feeling Bucky near her and clinged to your arms tightly.
"Baby--" Bucky heaved a sigh. He sure needs every air he could take. "who told you I don't love you? Remember, daddy fights bad guys so you will be safe?" He then took her from your lap and put Becca on his, wrapping her in his strong arms. "Because daddy loves you." Then he pressed a gentle kiss on Becca's forehead and cheeks.
"But--" Bucky looks at her gently, prompting her to continue. "you cried... There..." her right arm and index finger shooting towards the screen you were watching at from awhile ago.
You felt everybody sigh in relief. It was a huge misunderstanding indeed, but it was also one of the most innocent moments all of you have ever seen in your entire lives.
"You see, baby doll." You took note of how Bucky's metal hand went to fingercomb his hair, you know he's got this by now, you know he's relieved too, knowing that his daughter is actually alright. "Daddy cried because I'm proud of you." He gave Becca a huge smile.
"Proud? What's it?" Becca queried.
"Erm--" Maybe he didn't got it that much...
"is good thing, daddy?"
"Yes it is." There, the oh so bright and famous smile Becca is known for makes its way back to her lips. As if in-sync, everyone did the same.
"Do you want to know how much Dada loves you?" The mischeviousness coating your husband's voice is enough to make Becca squeal in delight as she runs away from him and sought help from her aunts and uncles, few minutes passed before Bucky caught her and blew raspberry kisses on her, making her giggle for quite some time.
"Okay! Who's up for the ice creams?!" Tony exclaimed from the dining room.
"Imma race you there, baby doll. Imma finish your Uncle Tony's ice cream!" Bucky tried annoying his daughter. This usually makes you wonder if you married a child beneath a man's body.
"No!" Becca did nothing but whine before they both sprint out of the Audio-Visual room. From there, you heard Becca squeals again; she won. Of course, Bucky let her win. If you're being honest though, Bucky can never win against Rebecca, you can only shake your head on the fondness of the idea before following your daughter and husband's voices calling for you and the others to join their ice cream feast.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes fluff#Avengers#avengers x reader#avengers x you#avengers x y/n#avengers imagine#avengers oneshot#avengers fluff#avengers fanfic#bucky barnes fanfic
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Fic: The Darkness Within (33/?)
Summary: When washed-up paranormal investigator Rum Gold meets Belle French, he does not quite know what to make of her claim of a supernatural presence in her life, but sensing her genuine fear, he begins to investigate. What he uncovers shakes the cynicism he has so long held to its very core, and he calls in the help of disgraced ex-priest Father Macavoy to help him lay some demons to restâŠ
A slow burn, eventual rumbellavoy. The rating may increase in later chapters.
Rated: M
[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen] [Fourteen] [Fifteen] [Sixteen] [Seventeen] [Eighteen] [Nineteen] [Twenty] [Twenty-One] [Twenty-Two] [Twenty-Three] [Twenty-Four] [Twenty-Five] [Twenty-Six] [Twenty-Seven] [Twenty-Eight] [Twenty-Nine] [Thirty] [Thirty-One] [Thirty-Two] [AO3]
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Thirty-Three
Although Joseph had seen Gold over Skype quite a few times over the last few weeks during the course of their investigation, he had not laid eyes on his friend in the flesh for a number of years. Walking out into Boston airport arrivals hall, it felt like the first time he had come to America, back when he had still been wearing the dog collar and had met Gold for the first time.
This time, he wasnât with a taxi driver holding up a neatly printed sign reading Macavoy. He was just hanging around at the back of the crowd of people greeting their relatives, standing next to the coffee shop.
He looked older than he had done when they had last met in person, but then again, Joseph knew that he did himself as well. It had been years after all, and he knew that they had not been kind to him even if they had been slightly better to Gold.
All the same, he definitely looked a lot more haggard and stressed now than he had done when they had last communicated over Skype. The meeting with the entity and all the worry about Belle that had ensued must have done more of a number on him than Joseph had anticipated.
Then again⊠Joseph looked down at himself. Leaving the priesthood hadnât exactly been good for him, either. It was probably easier just to say that things had gone downhill for both of them since they had last worked together. Both of them lonely and disillusioned until Belle had come into their lives and begun turning things upside down through no real fault of her own.
Well, Belle hadnât exactly come into Josephâs life, only by proxy, but now that she was there, he really wouldnât have it any other way. Despite the desperate circumstances theyâd now found themselves in, the case had given Joseph a new lease of life and a purpose that he had not had for a long time, ever since his last case of this calibre, and he was determined not to fail her.
Gold smiled as he saw Joseph approaching, but the greeting between the two men was still a little awkward, having not seen each other in person for so long. Joseph gave a huff of laughter; it was almost as if theyâd been internet dating and were now meeting each other in person for the first time, although theyâd known each other for so long before now and had been through so many weird and wonderful experiences together.
âSo, whatâs your plan?â Joseph asked once they were well on their way to Storybrooke and there was no chance of Gold getting distracted by the case and landing them in a ditch or on the pavement.
âWell, Iâm not entirely sure that itâs possible yet,â Gold admitted. âThatâs why I need your expertise.â
âIâm listening.â It wasnât as if they had anything else to do to make the drive to Storybrooke go any quicker.
âSpeaking hypothetically, if you know how a demon, entity, dark thing from beyond time and light, etc, was summoned, can you reverse engineer a way to send it back where it came from?â
Joseph nodded.
âSummoning and banishing are closely related, but given that everything in the world follows the entropic principle, banishing is a lot harder than summoning. Things that have been summoned to our world donât tend to enjoy being sent back from whence they came.â
Gold nodded slowly. âYes, I think we might have a fight on our hands with the Dark One,â he said. âIt was pretty determined to stay within the bloodline.â
âI suppose the next thing would be to work out whether it actually wants to be in the bloodline or not,â Joseph mused. âDepending on the method that Nimue used to summon it in the first place, it could be that it is bound to the bloodline and condemned to remain within the family, and our freeing it and sending it back into the ether would be a nice reprieve.â
Gold just gave him an incredulous look and Joseph shrugged.
âIt was worth a shot.â
âI donât think itâll go quietly. It said that Nimue had freed it from a prison of darkness.â
âNot exactly encouraging,â Joseph agreed.
They fell back into silence for a little while, and Joseph began to mull over all the new information that he had learned about the entity.
âContinuing with your hypothetical situation of banishing the spirit in the same way that it was summoned, how do you think that it was summoned?â he asked Gold eventually.
âYou know that ceremonial sword youâve found out a lot about?â
âYes.â
âAnd the dagger that Belle keeps having dreams about?â
âYes.â
âAnd the fact that in the dreams, thereâs blood on the dagger, and Belle knows that itâs hers?â
âYes.â Joseph paused. âYou think that Nimue made a blood sacrifice using the sword to summon the entity?â
âPrecisely.â
âAnd us making a blood sacrifice with the same sword will help to send it back.â
âIf your logic prevails.â
âRight.â
The car fell silent again for a long time before Joseph spoke again, trying to take in the magnitude of what Gold had just told him.
âI thought you said that you didnât have any idea what I was talking about when I kept going on about a ceremonial sword that had been passed down through your family for generations. I did think that it was Excalibur at one point. Iâm still not entirely convinced that itâs not.â
âI donât have any idea,â Gold said. âIâve never seen such a blade and I donât remember the aunts making any mention of it, or my father for that matter. But the entity said that was how the bloodline was broken - my father broke the blade.â
Joseph nodded. âYes, Belle thought that might be how it had happened.â
âI think the fact that the blade is broken is the only reason that the entity hasnât returned to me,â Gold mused. âThereâs something in it that prevents it from simply hopping across.â
Joseph gave his friend an alarmed look, but Goldâs attention was on the road in front of him.
âYou know, youâre rather too calm about this.â
âIâm not. Iâm absolutely terrified but since Belle is also terrified, probably with more reason to be since the thingâs inside her, one of us has to try and stay calm and brave in the face of everything thatâs happening.â
âHave you heard from Belle?â
Gold shook his head.
âNo. Sheâs not returning any of my calls and sheâs not answering the door. Iâve seen that sheâs ok, I caught a glimpse of her through the curtains in her apartment, but as far as I can tell she hasnât left it since that night.â He gave a long sigh. âI just want to make sure sheâs all right. I want to be able to reassure her that no matter what happens, everythingâs going to be fine in the end, but I canât because I donât know that.â
Joseph didnât know that either, so he wasnât going to be much use when it came to giving anyone any reassurance. All things considered, he was even less convinced of their pursuit being successful thanks to all the various experiences that heâd had before. All the same, there was something in the back of his mind telling him that this time he wouldnât and couldnât fail, and if blind faith in himself was what was needed to get him through it, then he would pray for a miracle and draw that strength from somewhere.
âMaybe I could talk to her,â he suggested. âYou said that you thought she was scared of it happening again and the entity doing something irretrievable. Sheâs always been scared of hurting you, I can tell you that much. But Iâm different. Iâm not related to the bloodline and Iâm definitely not AB negative so I donât think that the entity will pay me much mind.â
Gold seemed to consider it for a long moment before he nodded.
âYes. I think thatâs a good idea.â
X
The rest of the drive to Storybrooke was uneventful, and Joseph eventually nodded off, feeling the effects of jetlag already. It was certainly going to be an interesting few days if he was always falling asleep when the action was happening. Gold woke him with a nudge to his shoulder when they arrived at his home, and Joseph looked up at the grandiose pink place.
âItâs haunted, isnât it?â he said plainly. âIâm sure the only reason that you would choose to live in a house like this was to prove that it wasnât haunted.â
âRestless suicide in 1832,â Gold said cheerily. âI havenât heard a peep out of whoever it is since Iâve been in though, so I think I can safely say that oneâs just a rumour.â
Joseph rolled his eyes. âEither that, or your reputation precedes you and all the ghosts have just accepted that youâre not going to believe in their existence so theyâve given up before theyâve begun.â
Gold shrugged. âPossibly.â
Joseph did have to admit that there wasnât anything particularly sinister about the house when he got inside; he usually always had a nose for these things. After heâd settled in and theyâd eaten, he decided that it was probably best to get going on his plan to talk to Belle as soon as possible. There was no use in putting these things off, and he wanted to get to her before she went to bed for the night and the entity might possibly come to the fore once more. Gold gave him directions, hanging back in the diner to keep watch in case something drastic happened. Joseph really hoped that it wouldnât.
He looked up at the apartment above the library. The library itself showed no signs of having been opened over the past couple of days, and a hand-written sign tacked to the door explained that due to unforeseen circumstances, the place would be remaining closed indefinitely. Joseph felt a pang of empathy. He hoped that Goldâs plan to get the entity out of Belle and back wherever it came from in the first place would work, so that she could get back to her regular life if nothing else.
He mounted the stairs and knocked gently on the door. There was no response; he hadnât really expected one, but he could hear someone moving about furtively on the other side of the wood. It was either Belle trying not to be heard, or the entity had taken hold and was being as suspicious as ever.
âBelle,â he called. âBelle, itâs Joseph Macavoy. Can I talk to you please?â He paused. âYou donât have to open the door if you donât want, but Iâd like to hear your voice and make sure youâre ok. I havenât heard from you for a while, and now Iâve come over to help Gold with the case.â
There was again no reply, but the footsteps in the apartment came closer.
âBelle? Are you in there?â
âJoseph?â
The voice was small and muffled by wood, but it was undeniably Belleâs, and Joseph breathed a sigh of relief.
âHello Belle. Itâs nice to talk to you in person.â
âYouâre really here?â
âIâm really here. My flight came in at lunchtime.â
âRum left me a message, he said that you were coming. I canât believe youâre really here.â
âIâm not sure I believe Iâm really here yet.â He paused. âRumâs been worried about you, you know.â
âI know.â
She didnât say anything else, but then Joseph heard the scrape of the door lock and a moment later it opened. It was still held with three heavy-duty security chains, but Belleâs face appeared in the gap. Her eyes were red-rimmed from tears with heavy dark circles under them, her dark hair greasy and unkempt.
Joseph smiled and extended a hand.
âA pleasure to meet you, Belle.â
Belle just looked at his hand, but didnât take it.
âHow long have you been awake?â Joseph asked.
Belle didnât reply, looking away.
âDid Rum tell you what happened?â she mumbled.
âI got the gist of it, yes.â
She bit her lip. âI havenât slept since.â
Before Joseph could make any reply, the door had closed in his face. He heard the chains being drawn across, and then he was face to face with Belle properly.
âCome in,â she said. âIf you dare.â
Joseph stepped across the threshold. âIâm not scared of you, Belle.â
She snorted. âYou should be.â
She closed the door behind him but she didnât lock it, and Joseph looked around the space. Empty coffee cups littered every surface.
Belle sank down onto the sofa, her head in her hands.
âI said I couldnât bear it if I ever hurt him,â she muttered.
âYou didnât hurt him,â Joseph assured her. Belle shook her head.
âIt was too close a call,â she said. âI knew that this was a bad idea. I knew I shouldnât let myself get close to him, to anyone. It only ever ends badly.â
âWeâve got a plan, Belle. Weâre going to get rid of this thing. I promise.â
It was a bad promise to make. He had no idea if heâd be successful or what might happen to Belle herself throughout the process, but looking at her now, so rundown and dejected, so very miserable, he knew that he had to give her some hope.
Belle shook her head again.
âIâm just about ready to quit,â she said. âI canât live with this anymore. I canât live with myself anymore knowing that at a momentâs notice I might do something terrible! Think about it, how can Rum and I ever go to bed together again knowing that the last time it happened, well, you know what happened the last time.â
Joseph sat down on the sofa beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders gingerly. Instead of shaking him off, like her brittle stance seemed to suggest she would, she melted into his embrace, like a dam breaking and a flood of tears suddenly pouring forth.
âPlease donât give up, Belle,â Joseph soothed. âPlease. We will get you through this and youâll come out of the other side. Youâve fought against this thing for so long. Even the Dark One itself is impressed by how viciously youâve fought it. You canât let it win now. Not when weâre so close to finding a solution.â
âIâm just so tired!â Belle cried, burying her face in his chest. Joseph remembered their Skype conversations when she had confided in all her fears to him, fears that were rapidly coming true, and all those times that he had wished that he could reach across the miles and comfort her.
âSleep,â he soothed her. âIâll keep watch over you.â
âBut the ThingâŠâ
âIt doesnât want me,â Joseph said. âIâm safe. And if it does go after what it does want, then Iâll be here to stop it. Besides, Iâve got jetlag. Iâm hardly likely to sleep tonight even if I wanted to.â
Belle gave a weak huff of laughter, but eventually, her breathing quietened and she fell into a light slumber.
Joseph made her comfortable on the sofa, very aware that he probably shouldnât be sitting there with his friendâs lover sleeping in his arms, and texted Gold to let him know that Belle was all right, before settling down to wait and watch until she woke up.
#rumbelle fic#rumbelle#Belle French#Mr Gold#Joseph Macavoy#the beginnings of macelle#Fic: The Darkness Within
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Eighth year part two
While walking to his seat in the great hall Draco's eyes scanned the room. The Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw tables were filled end to end with bubbling students, but the Slytherins sat as though they were enveloped in darkness. While most first years were smiling, the ones who were here only one year prior during the war, sat with clouds above their heads. Everyone knew it, majority of the Slytherins parents fought for the Dark lord, on the losing side. Now those parents were dead or residing in Azkaban, just like Draco's father. A lot of prejudice was meant to disperse with the enactment of the house unity push, but the malice towards the Slytherins ran deep so their efforts would be wasted.
As his eyes scanned the dining hall they quickly met with striking blue ones, Luna. She gave him a wave, he had given back a stiff nod. Draco finally made it to the Slytherin table and sat next to Blaise. They quickly dove into a conversation, both boys avoiding the topic of war and their parents, which they were both grateful for. Blaise had spent the summer in America, visiting places he had always dreamed of going. Draco did nothing noteworthy enough to tell Blaise. Once Headmistress McGonagall took the podium at the front of the hall, all the chatter died down.
"As you all know Hogwarts was home to the final battle of the second wizarding war and had suffered much damage, as well as," she paused a moment to gather herself, "taking the lives of some of Hogwarts very own. While this castle will never be the same, we do hope you find your time here valuable. Now onto other business, in all of Hogwarts history, the 4 houses have been divided in their common rooms and in this very hall. This year that will no longer be the case. Dormitories and common rooms are now separated by year and you'll be encouraged to sit anywhere you please in this hall and make new friends no matter which house. We hope you will find peace and a home within our castle walls once again, for Hogwarts will still hold its pride until the very end." Once she finished speaking and stepped down from the podium, no one clapped, they all took a respectful moment of silence.
The clamor of the great hall didn't pick up again until the food appeared on the gold dished on front of them. Draco once again felt his eyes wander the hall, drawn like a moth to a flame his eyes landed on Harry. There he sat next to the girl Weasley. Draco felt his stomach turn. She was everything Harry deserved, smart, pretty, talented, and not a death eater. Definitely not a death eater. They were the 'it' couple, they both played exceptional quidditch, they both were outgoing and popular, and their relationship even mirrored Harry's parents. Draco felt sick with jealousy.
Ginny was always the one wrench in Draco's assumption that Harry had been a little bit gay. Once Harry had met Cedric Diggory, Draco could've sworn Harry had crush on the Hufflepuff boy. Which only made Draco feel worse because most Hufflepuffs were the exact opposite of most Slytherins. Draco felt he knew Harry's type then. But after all the stolen glances, quiet conversations and after mourning over Diggory's death as if they were lovers, Ginny still was there. Comforting him, loving him. It drove Draco mad.
To avoid getting upset further, Draco peeled his eyes away from the sight and turned them down towards his plate. He wouldn't lift them again until Blaise reached over and bumped Draco's arm with his own.
"My bet is we've got a bloody good chance of getting a room together." Blaise said like he had read Draco's earlier thoughts. The boys smiled at one another and continued their meals. Draco always had a lot of respect for Blaise. He was the smartest next to Draco and Pansy. He didn't flaunt it either he was down to earth. They got along well with one another.
Draco was about to take another bite of his dinner when McGonagall stopped right in front of him. He straightened up. He couldn't control the slight fear that ran through him. She was the former head Gryffindor teacher and he was a former death eater. Something must've been off.
"Mr. Malfoy," even his own wretched last name made him cringe, " would you please make you find you way to my office once the feast is over?" She asked in a polite tone which eased Draco's apparent tension.
Draco gave a strained smile which must've pleased her because she turned on her heel and moved back towards the front. All the possible reasons for this meeting ran through Draco's mind. Maybe they wouldn't allow him to go here anymore with a dark mark scorched on his wrist. Perhaps since his family housed the dark lord, they couldn't fathom letting him walk the halls. He was a trigger for the kids who wished to push the war out of their mind.
He couldn't have been more wrong though, because after dinner he did make his way to the headmistresses office, only to find Harry sitting upon one of the upholstered chairs. Once he heard the door creaking, Harry turned around. The two boys locked eyes. Harry's were still as bright as ever.
"Oh thank Merlin. I though I was in trouble for something already, but now that you're here I don't believe that's the case." Harry spluttered.
"Of course, because you Potter, the boy who saved the wizard world twice would be in trouble on the first day of school. Honestly, they call you the chosen one!" Draco retorted sarcastically. The name "Potter" rolled off of Draco's tongue with the slightest of ease.
Harry's eyes brightened at Draco's use of sarcastic tongue. Maybe it wasn't the sarcasm actually, maybe it was the fact that the last time they had a two way conversation, Harry tried talking to him, but it wasn't Draco it was a quiet and deprived shell of Draco's former self.
It had happened while Draco sat outside the ministry's court doors awaiting his family's trial. He wasn't sure whether or not he would walk out of those doors or have to spend the rest of his days staring at an Azkaban prison cell wall. But when he heard quick foot steps and saw Harry Potter running down the hall towards him, slight hope radiated itself in Draco's mind.
While he felt relieved Draco also felt angry. What game was Harry playing at, maybe he wanted to hear the minister claim guilty in person, or maybe he wanted to give Draco hope only to take it away last second. Quite the opposite actually though, Harry wanted Draco and Narcissa to walk free, they weren't responsible for Lucius's actions. He wouldn't ever bring himself to help Lucius out of the situation he dug himself into for years.
"Come for more Kudos have we Potter? Isn't saving our world twice enough? We're already in your debt don't twist the knife!" Draco's shouts echoed through the empty ministry walls.
Harry looked shocked at first but then He stuck his hand out halfway confidently and looked Draco in the eyes, " I'm not here to make you feel worse you tosser. 7 years ago I refused to shake your hand because I thought you were a twat. I have realized now that you weren't a twat by choice and you do not deserve to spend the rest of your life in Azkaban. So, let's start over."
That shut Draco's anger right up. A smile threatened to break through onto Draco's face but he reached out quick to shake Harry's hand, in fear it would be yanked away from him soon.
Draco was torn from the memory when the door swung open revealing McGonagall in her finest purple robes and recently cleaned glasses. She motioned for Draco to sit, then she herself took a spot behind her desk.
"Now as you know all dormitories are split by year and so I have decided that it would be most beneficial if you two were the prefects of the 8th year common room." McGonagall said, then giving the boys a look as if daring them to challenge her.
"What exactly does that mean?" Harry asked while playing with his fingers, not paying attention fully.
"Well we need house unity, and what better to promote it than a popular Gryffindor and a popular Slytherin? You guys will share a room and advise your common room. I'll expect you two to get a long and be able to run things efficiently." She said it as though it was obvious.
"What you're basically saying is that you're going to put me and Potter together because, he's the chosen one and anyone will follow what he does, and I'm an ex death eater. So if the infamous Harry Potter can befriend a death eater, why can't all the others?" Draco's words had no malice behind them, just truth.
"If you want to get technical Mr. Malfoy, then yes. It could be a great opportunity for you two as well though. Don't think I didn't hear about what happened at the ministry. You boys aren't enemies anymore." McGonagall said all knowingly.
But she wasn't all knowingly because had she been so, she would've known the boys were never enemies. At least Draco never saw Harry as an enemy, his feelings got in the way of that and created a storm blaring in Draco's mind.Â
Draco was about to object strongly to McGonagall's proposal. There was no way he could share a room with Harry. His heart was too weak to walk into their room every night and see Harry and Ginny, the perfect couple, hanging out in their shared room. The thought of it made Draco dizzy. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't.
But before Draco could fit in his opinion, Harry opened his mouth.
"I think it's a brilliant idea Headmistress! When do we move in?" Harry could hardly contain the excitement that spread across his face. Draco took note of how green Harry's eyes appeared then. They blazed the same gleam of desire as they did when Harry spotted the snitch on the Quidditch pitch.
Draco hadn't known what Harrys excitement meant but he knew that this was one of the worst ideas Harry has ever had. If it had gotten bad, Draco knew he would be back here begging to switch rooms. Bloody hell, he didn't even care if he roomed with Weasley, anything to get away from Potters relationship rubbed in his face.
Even though deep down Draco's mind was screaming that he would finally get Harry's attention, because how could you ever ignore someone who slept in the bed across from yours?
â ïžThis part is a bit short and the story seems to be going slow, but I promise it's gonna pick up soon! I just wanted to establish the background and beginning. But let me know your thoughts! The support I got on part one is literally the most amazing thing to happen to me. Everyone on here is so sweet to new writers! Thank you so much for reading đđâ ïž
FIND PART ONE HERE ------> https://marshmclaren.tumblr.com/post/164282548849/eighth-year-part-one
PART THREE COMING SOON!
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build our own luck [the agency au part two]
i was feeling like crap, thanks to my least favorite day of the year - so i decided to write something as self indulgent as it gets. in this one, there is actually no plot or drama; i just wanted to write about charlie and oswald living their lives. and nothing bad happens to them. itâs TREAT YO SELF: the fic, basically. writing it made me feel warm and fuzzy. itâs a nice feeling.
19k words rated m
During the months that followed, Charlie often felt uneasy; she was smart enough to know leaving the Agency wasnât as simple as using primitive blackmail. What she did was desperate and blunt and could easily be used against her; but she willingly put herself under the sword of Damocles, feeling this is the path she was meant to follow. Perhaps she was blinded; but she didnât mind. What was born between her and one of Gothamâs many masked criminals definitely felt real - and maybe it was foolish, diving headfirst into the unknown, sinking in his eyes and melting under his touch. Perhaps it was rash and unwise, forfeiting months of training and embracing her moral numbness - but it just felt so damn good.
Oswaldâs next big plan was to finally have his revenge for a tragedy that befell his family when he was a child; his father was pushed to a suicide and his mother was unrightfully locked up in Arkham Asylum and people responsible for it took everything from him, every last penny, every last shred of faith in peopleâs good nature - and he was so, so very close to getting definitive, damning proof of that. It wouldnât bring his family back - but it sure as hell is nicer to weep in luxury, than in poverty.
âDonât get me wrong, I will spill some blood.â he told her one day. âA lot of it, actually - but itâs time for the name Cobblepot to return to the top. Donât you think?â
âYou know Iâm on board with everything.â she muttered in response, trying to catch last minutes of sleep. âYou incubus.â
He laughed and kissed the skin between her shoulder blades and she smiled blissfully.
Her role in his plans wasnât complicated, but it definitely was significant; someone had to scrub his criminal records clean and to re-introduce him to Gotham as a shining example of virtue; he wanted to take back whatâs his not by force - but by making people want to give it back to him. She was supposed to handle his good PR - while heâd take care of the behind-the-scenes, more dirty aspects.
âIâve already arranged everything. I got in touch with the best damn burglar money can buy.â
âWhy donât you steal it yourself?â
âBecause Iâm too lazy.â he replied with a shrug and she laughed. âAnd Catwoman? She has a well-earned reputation of being reliable. Why risk fucking it up if I can pay someone to⊠Not fuck it up?â
âSmart.â she said; she was sitting on the couch in her hotel apartment - or rather their hotel apartment. Oswald had planned his official return in detail; since he was going to resurface soon, Charlie threw the first pebble of the upcoming avalanche and allowed him to temporarily move in with her. They had a whole story, ready for anyone curious enough to ask questions. A very pretty, completely fake story; one of those fairytales that only seem to happen to the rich and the beautiful.
âOf course itâs smart, Iâm brilliant.â
âUh-uh.â she muttered, glancing at the screen of her laptop. âAlright, the British should really work on their security⊠And training their detectives. They never got half the stuff youâve done.â
âThatâs because they kept underestimating me and overlooking obvious clues. But I donât mind. Itâs their loss.â
It was a late afternoon, and Charlie was putting some of her skills to use by reworking Oswaldâs records from his time in the UK; she was no master hacker - if she was sheâd probably be working for the Agencyâs IT or intel department - but she was trained well. Oswald never let himself be known as a high-profile criminal, and he never gave the police enough evidence to link him with the Penguin; his files were barely protected and it only took her half an hour to wipe out the bad parts and rework the semi-decent ones into something heart crushingly good.
âThis is almost too easy.â she complained jokingly, saving the photographs from a gambling bust onto her hard drive. âOr maybe Iâm simply overqualified.â
âThe latter, definitely.â he said; his phone dinged. âWould you look at that! The physical copies of my files had gone missing. What a shame.â
âYes, what a terrible, terrible loss.â she said, retracing her footsteps and covering her tracks, just to make sure no one will discover what happened. âSo, youâre now officially clean. The Agency files still remain, but the Agency has files on everyone, not only their targets⊠Meaning youâre now a model citizen. How does it feel?â
âBoring as fuck.â
âYeah, socially acceptable behaviors tend to be boring. Honestly Iâm almost sad, you just lost your bad boy charm. No gambling, no illegal boxing matches, the dishonorable discharge wasnât really spectacular⊠Itâs a good thing Iâve seen how awful you are.â she finished with a smile, turning her laptop off.
âItâs also a good thing Iâm a handsome devil. Good looks can make anyone interesting.â he said with a wink, and she giggled; they had this conversation a few times before, between reuniting and making his grand plans reality. He was talking about Bruce Wayne, his childhood friend who grew up with almost everything Oswald had lost, partially thanks to Bruceâs father - and a man Charlie encountered a few times during her stay in Gotham. He was pleasant, not her type and rubbed her the wrong way; but she was as nice to him as possible, knowing this influential playboy has a bone to pick with Louise, who used to also work for the Agency. At first it was all just a front, a way of not making her fellow agentâs life more complicated; but then it became reality. Charlie and Louise had both left the Agency - and the further Bruce Wayne was from Charlieâs personal life and her involvement with Oswaldâs revenge the better.
âNow what?â
âNow⊠We wait.â Oswald said with a shrug. âKyle should be done with her job on the night of Dentâs fundraiser, which is when, in a week?â
âA week and a half. Louise got me an invite.â
âHow nice of her. I keep forgetting sheâs working with that guy.â
âIf he becomes the mayor, sheâll probably take over as the new DA. Can he even appoint her as his successor?â
âDonât ask me, american law is an enigma to me. This country is so needlessly complicated, almost as if government's sole mission was to fuck its people over as much as possible. Do you think thatâs what Washington planned?â he asked suddenly. âDo you think he dreamed of creating a free country thatâd coincidentally be the most complicated place on Earth?â
âI donât think he planned that far ahead. I think his plans only went as far as kicking the Brits out, then he started to make shit up as he went⊠And look at America now. Totally not worth it.â
âBold statement coming from an ex federal agent.â he said and she laughed; all was good between them ever since she abandoned the Agency for his sake. Many people would say he pulled her to the dark side, that he dragged her down; but she didnât care. Some people are not meant for greatness or goodness; perhaps she was one of those souls meant to be cautionary tales. All that mattered was the fact she was in love - it didnât matter how bloody and dark his plans were. She could take it.
Eventually the night of the fundraiser came; Oswald was supposed to face Bruce for the first time in years. Charlie - who officially didnât know anything about Oswaldâs history with the Wayne family and was simply playing the role of a bubbly, young socialite making new connections - was bringing him with her as her plus one, marking the beginning of Oswaldâs slow return to the top. Sheâs been in Gotham for a while now, and was slowly becoming recognizable; it was good time for them to start their show.
âNervous?â she asked him as they were getting ready to leave; but he shook his head.
âExcited.â he replied simply, buttoning his shirt. âIâve been waiting for this moment to come.â
âMmm.â she muttered, sitting down to take care of her hair and face and he glanced at her reflection, tying his tie.
âOh, good choice.â he said, seeing her reach for the benitoite earrings he gave her. âThose fit you.â
âItâs my favorite pair, you know.â she said playfully, picking up a string of pearls. âHow do I look?â
âDistractingly gorgeous, as usual.â he said as she got up, smoothing down the fabric of her dress - a simple, cocktail pencil piece with bateau neckline in a deep blue color few shades darker than her eyes. It was one of her favorites; it went with almost everything.
(She favored pencil dresses and skirts; they were simple, elegant, graceful and looked nothing like more voluminous clothes she wore as Penguinâs masked accomplice. Her civilian clothes were all about simple elegance and subtlety with occasional flashes of tasteful ostentation; what she wore when robbing banks was all about the drama.)
âYou look great as well.â she sighed as he was fixing his tie in place with a pin. âYou look good in suits, you know?â
âI look good in everything.â he replied and she rolled her eyes, unable to contain her smile. She meant what she said - he looked damn good in formal wear.
âNarcissus.â she said, picking up her purse. âCome on. Weâll be fashionably late.â
âPlanning a dramatic entrance?â he asked as they were walking down the hallway, towards the elevators.
âLetâs save dramatic entrances for another occasion.â she said, alluding to their alter egos. âDo you think heâll be happy to see you?â
âWho, Bruce? Doesnât matter.â Oswald said with a shrug, following her into the elevator. âDo you like him?â
âHe seems pleasant. Kind of boring, but definitely pleasant. I can see myself developing a crush on him, if I was a different person.â she said, glancing at him. âBut luckily I have a more refined taste.â
âLuckily indeed.â he said, wrapping his arm around her waist as the elevator reached the ground level and they walked out, a picture-perfect couple like many others.
They were fashionably late; and on their way to the Wayne Manor Oswald got a message from Catwoman, a thief he hired to steal a crucial piece of evidence for him; she succeeded and was ready to meet him to make an exchange whenever he was ready.
âWell that went remarkably smooth.â he said after Charlie read the content of the text to him; he was driving and she - sitting in the passenger seat - insisted on him acting reasonably. âThat will put Falcone in my pocket for the time being.â
âCatwoman.â Charlie said thoughtfully. âI remember her files. No one ever got anything that could lead to uncovering her identity.â
âSheâs good. Sinks her hard-earned money in state of the art toys, steals blueprints, prototypes⊠Itâs a good thing she didnât fuck up. Iâd hate to have to get rid of her.â
âWhat, youâd send your men to bring you her head on a silver platter?â
âSilver? No, I wouldnât settle for silver. Iâd go with gold.â he said nonchalantly and she laughed.
They werenât the only ones running late - Bruce Wayne himself was late as well and had yet to make an appearance as they showed up.
âGod, I forgot just how posh this place is.â Oswald muttered, looking around the hall. âSee this closet right there? Used to be my favorite hiding spot back when I was a kid.â
âOh, youâll have to show me around.â she said quietly, glancing at him. âLots of memories?â
âTons of them, actually. I think I broke Alfredâs favorite vase⊠Right here.â he said, stopping near an elegant, empty table. âBruce took the blame. He was a good friend.â
âMaybe he still is a good friend.â Charlie suggested softly, standing next to him; he pulled her closer without a word.
âIf it isnât Gothamâs most disgusting couple!â they suddenly heard a familiar voice coming from behind them; when they turned around - Louise was there, holding a glass of wine. âFashionably late. How delightful.â
âEntrance is everything.â Charlie said with a smile, brushing Louiseâs cheek with her red lips.
âNow thatâs a weird thing.â Louise said, looking at Oswald. âIâll never get used to seeing you out and about. Feels wrong.â
âHidden in plain sight.â he replied, nodding slightly. âWhereâs Wayne?â
âHas yet to show up, so⊠Be patient. Be patient for Harvey.â she giggled, glancing in the direction of her - visibly stressed out - superior. âHeâs losing his mind. Come on, Iâll introduce you.â
âIâll see you later.â Oswald said quietly, brushing Charlieâs temple with his lips. âI have some spying to do.â
âTake care.â Charlie replied quietly and walked away with Louise.
âHarvey!â she called out to Dent, who looked in their direction.
âMy god.â he said tiredly. âYou havenât seen Bruce anywhere, have you?â
âIt might be a good time to issue a search party.â Louise suggested. âBut in the meantime⊠This is your potential voter, try to squeeze money out of her. Charlie, this is Harvey Dent, the better of two candidates. And better remember that.â
âPleased to finally meet you in person.â Charlie said with a smile as Dent was shaking her hand. âYour posters are in the hall of my hotel. Staff makes sure no one vandalizes them.â
âIt means my campaign is working! Good.â he said with a smile of relief. âI take youâre the school friend Louise mentioned once or twice..?â
âIf you mean the girl everyone called Heinz behind her back, then yes, thatâd be me.â she said, bringing up one of many details of her - completely fake - backstory.
Dent was a pleasant, honest man who wanted to make a difference; he had strong opinions about crime and corruption and Charlie gladly decided to financially back his cause, for some good citizen brownie points.
The evening was going smoothly, especially since Bruce Wayne decided to finally show up; considering how calm he appeared Oswald probably didnât confront him.
(She spotted Oswald drinking wine straight out of the bottle and shot him a disapproving look from across the room; he winked at her in response. Later she saw him talking quietly with Alfred, Bruceâs butler; she wondered how did the old man react to the sight of his masterâs childhood friend, all grown up.)
And then, Carmine Falcone showed up, unexpected and uninvited; Charlie and Louise were in the corner of the room as he walked in and Oswald quickly walked up to them, looking angry.
âThat wasnât part of the plan.â he stated, glancing in mafiosoâs direction; head of the mob seemingly didnât notice him, too busy offending the interior of Wayne Manor.
âYou should go.â Charlie said hastily, handing him the car keys. âBefore things turn ugly.â
âOh, they will turn ugly once I get to Falcone.â Oswald promised her with a dark smile. âBut youâre right, tonightâs not the time.â
âKeep your murderous schemes to yourself, thank you very much.â Louise hissed at him. âGo! Iâll take her home.â
âSo better put that wine down, miss lawyer.â he said mockingly and slipped away, one last time glancing in the direction of Falcone, who was trying to get Bruce Wayne to shake his hand.
âChrist.â Louise muttered, finishing her wine. âSo, how are you two doing?â she asked finally. âDo you want to kill him, or do you still claim youâre in love with him?â
âI love him.â Charlie said firmly. âWe made up. Did the Agency reach out to you?â
âNo, they just took my letter and fucked off, which is⊠Concerning. Iâm waiting for the other shoe to drop.â Louise sighed. âEven though I think they really took him off the hook⊠We should probably make sure he doesnât make it back to the list.â
âHeâs reasonable.â Charlie said, deciding to act on her belief partners should support each other. âBut youâre right.â
They both turned around when Falcone looked in their direction, in order to avoid him spotting them; he probably remembered them from his auctions, especially Charlie and her joy after getting her hands on Cobblepot family memorabilia.
âWhat is Falcone doing here?â Charlie asked quietly and Louise shook her head.
âBeats me, but this canât be good. My gut tells me some shitâs about to go down. You better watch Oswald, he might do something stupid.â
âIâm not his babysitter.â Charlie protested faintly and Louise snickered.
âNo, but he desperately needs a voice of reason. And this is when you come in⊠Because there is no point in suggesting you to become his conscience.â she added. âGod, you really love him. This is unbelievable.â
âWhat?â
âYour face. Thatâs the face normal people make when they see Chris Evans. You⊠Make that face when youâre talking about Oswald. What do you see in him?â
âThatâs not how love works. Itâs just⊠Him.â Charlie said with a shrug. âAs a whole. But I guess what I see when I look at him is⊠A promise. And a sense of belonging, not in terms of ownership and property, but placement.â
âThatâs poetic and I can hardly argue with that.â Louise sighed nostalgically. âBut that ownership thing⊠I thought heâd be more territorial. More of a jealous asshole, considering his general attitude towards⊠Well, everything.â
âMaybe he simply trusts me. Maybe he sees a difference between objects and people.â Charlie said lightly. âAlso thereâs a matter of me repeatedly telling him he stole my heart. I think he got my subtle hints.â
âAh, but you never know. Remember: heâs a man. Theyâre simply not conditioned to get subtle hints.â
Louise drove Charlie back to the Peak that night, since Oswald took her car; the apartment was dark and empty, as Charlie noticed with a sigh.
She took a shower and went to bed; and few hours later she was woken up with a phone call.
âYes?â she muttered, still half asleep, barely holding the receiver. âWhat is it?â
An anxious night-shift receptionist was calling to ask if she can go downstairs; an angry man was demanding access to her apartment. Charlie groaned, got up, put up a bathrobe and shuffled out, wondering how exactly is she going to murder the person responsible for waking her up.
âCharlie!â she heard Oswaldâs voice. âThis young man right here wanted to call the cops on me, can you believe it?!â
âHardly.â she muttered, glancing at him and sighing at the sight of a blood staining his clothes and face.
She turned her attention to the panicked young man behind the counter; he was probably new, considering she had never seen him before. More seasoned staff members quickly learned to pay no attention to chatty man living with Schiller-Aberdeen in 362.
âHeâs checked in with me.â she yawned, sleepily taking Oswaldâs hand and stroking it with her fingertips. âCan you keep this whole thing to yourself⊠Liam?â
âNaturally!â the young man assured her ardently. âI am so terribly sorry for the problem.â
âItâs nothing.â she muttered, pulling Oswald towards the elevator, desperate to get back to bed.
âDonât you want to know what happened?â Oswald asked as the elevator doors closed and Charlie sighed deeply.
(She didnât mind seeing him covered in blood; but not at three AM when she was half asleep.)
âAlright. What happened?â
âI think I killed a guy.â Oswald said with satisfaction. âTwo of âem tried to jump me and Bruce⊠So I showed them what happens to people who cross Oswald Cobblepot.â
âOooh.â she said with a faint smile; she liked watching him fight. He was quick and deadly and relentless and it created a beautiful contrast with the memories of his kisses and tender touches. âAnd how did the meeting go? Exchanged any gossip?â
âWell, one thing I know for sure is that Bruce Wayne grew up to be a prick.â Oswald said, rolling his eyes. âThe apple didnât fall far from the tree it seems⊠But that will only make my revenge feel even better.â
âUh-uh.â she yawned. âDid you ask him about Falcone?â
âWell, Bruce claims Falcone showed up uninvited, but⊠I donât believe him.â Oswald finished in a low tone. âI donât believe a single word he says.â
âSucks to be him.â she yawned; the elevator stopped at their floor.
She simply wanted to go back to sleep; but Oswald wasnât done talking.
âMy god, Oswald.â she said finally, her eyes closed. âLook. I love and support you, but Iâm going to kill you if you donât let me sleep.â
In response he only laughed, finally shutting up; few minutes later she felt his warm body next to her and smiled as he wrapped his arms around her.
***
He put his plans in motion soon after. Bruce Wayneâs good name had been dragged through mud and Falcone had been arrested, after GCPD anonymously received a complete documentation of his criminal empire - stored on a drive Oswald hired the elusive Catwoman to steal.
âOh, this is beautiful!â he said as they were watching the news, a live relation of policeâs attack on Skyline club. âSomething tells me a lot of land will soon be up for grabs. Should I invest in real estate?â
âYes, but donât count on me visiting you there. I⊠Donât like heights.â she confessed and he laughed. âOne thing the Agency never made me unlearn: fear of heights.â
âThen itâs a good thing penguins are flightless birds.â
Carmine Falcone died few days after being arrested - he was killed, and the killer left no trace, disappearing like a ghost; but somehow - looking at Oswald and listening to his melodious humming - Charlie knew whoâs directly responsible.
âDid you kill Falcone?â she asked him one evening; it took him a while to answer.
âYes.â he finally said, lazily running his fingers through her hair, wrapping the red strands around his fingers, pulling gently. âHe deserved it.â
âMmm, Iâm not questioning it.â she purred, thinking back to the massive file the Agency had on him and his entire family. âI just want to know just how much blood exactly do you have on your hands.â
âMmm. And whyâs that?â he asked, sliding his hand down her back. âDo you want me covered in blood, Charlie?â
âMaybe.â she responded, closing her eyes. âMaybe I do. A girl can dream.â
(His bloodied hands, leaving smudges on her skin; his bloodied lips, leaving a metallic aftertaste in her mouth. A girl can dream - and her dreams were of violence.)
âThis girl in particular.â he agreed, gently lifting her chin with his other hand and leaning in to steal a kiss from her, like he did many times before. He was so violent, so merciless; but his kisses felt like peace.
He took her with him next time he claimed a life in revenge; his plan was to dispose of cowardly Hill and to put a final nail in the coffin of Bruce Wayneâs good reputation by exposing what Thomas did to his mother.
From what Charlie saw and heard, Oswald missed his mother dearly; she was a gentle soul who always strived to see beauty and hope in the world. What happened to her, what happened to the entire family - was ugly and dark and so, so unfair. Sins of the father are not sins of the child, and Bruce shouldnât be paying the price for his fatherâs crimes - but for Charlie Bruce was just one step above a regular stranger. What Oswald was going to do to him wasnât just; but she didnât mind. Maybe she was blinded, maybe she was corrupted - or maybe she simply wasnât a good person.
âThis is going to be a masterpiece.â Oswald mused as they were gearing up in one of Penguinâs hideouts. âMost memorable night in Gothamâs history.â
âMore memorable than the night when the Waynes died?â Charlie asked, ruffling her hair; the Pinniped - as opposed to elegant, reserved Schiller-Aberdeen - always had her hair in a state of mess, an uncontrollable mass of locks and curls. It was a good disguise; so far no one seemed to connect the dots.
âWay more memorable.â Oswald assured her, tying his tie. âArchie! The serum.â
âHere.â Tennyson said, throwing Oswald two identical syringes, filled with translucent liquid. âThatâs all weâve got.â
âItâll do.â
âWhatâs that?â Charlie asked as Oswald put the syringes in his pocket; in response he snickered.
âVery concentrated truth serum my most skilled accomplice cooked up for me in her spare time, between getting into Wayneâs good graces and writing very passionate articles.â he said with a smirk; he was talking about Vicki Vale - a journalist who originally reached out to him with her findings regarding the true nature of the Cobblepot family tragedy. She was cunning and calculating and very, very good at chemistry. âIt exposes the most primal, basic instincts, oneâs truest nature and most repressed desires. And in bigger doses⊠It just makes people really aggressive.â
âOh.â she said with a nervous chuckle, thinking back to that one time when the Joker drugged her. âJust donât use it on me.â
âThereâs no need. Itâs been⊠Thoroughly tested. Besides - itâs reserved for people Iâd rather see dead.â he said with a shrug and a reassuring pat at her back.
Finally, the grand moment came; they crashed the debate between two candidates - and Gotham wasnât too pleased to see Penguin. For the last few weeks, people thought he disappeared off the face of the Earth; perhaps he got hit with a stray bullet. Perhaps a blade found its way between his ribs. Perhaps he got bored. But no - there he was, in the spotlight, making his grand speech about debts and crimes and punishment.
(Looking at him from behind her mask Charlie wondered if he really did think it through; the pot calling the kettle black.)
All eyes were on him and he reveled in this attention; he had a penchant for theatrics. Vicki Vale played her role well, her hands and voice shaking in a very convincing way; though when no one was looking she rolled her eyes and Charlie nudged her with her bat, muffling her own laughter. Oswald seemed to love listening to the sound of his voice - personally she found it charming. It seemed like Vicki found it obnoxious.
They carried their plan out smoothly; Hillâs true nature was exposed, and so was the fate of Esther Cobblepot.
When Oswald turned his attention to panicked Dent - it was Charlieâs moment to shine. She jumped between two men, as if shielding Dent with her own body.
âNot him, no!â she said, letting Gotham believe there were first cracks among Penguinâs associates.
They let Gotham watch as he pushed her aside and cocked his gun, ready to take Dentâs life; they let Gotham watch as she threw herself at him and as he gripped her wrist so tightly she was sure there will be bruises. They let everyone see this staged loverâs quarrel, this game of lies. They threw their bait, letting Gotham believe Penguinâs scorned accomplice might come to their aid.
âYou have quite a grip.â she said later that night, examining her bruises in front of a mirror. âYou threw me like a ragdoll.â
âIt had to be convincing. Was it convincing?â
âWell, if it wasnât for me being used to your grips and throwsâŠâ she said with a playful smile, rubbing some lotion into her skin; it was a healing concoction, one that would render her bruises practically invisible in no time. âWhat now?â
âNow we wait.â he said with a yawn. âIn a few days Wayne Enterprises board should decide it might be best for Brucie to step down. And thatâs where I come in⊠A tragic hero with spotless record, brought back to Gotham by his beloved, unaware of his tragic history.â he said with a theatrical sigh. âEt voila.â
âThis is the most elaborate heist Iâve ever seen, Iâve got to admit.â she said, leaving the bathroom. âIâm impressed.â
âIâve been planning it for months.â he said lazily. âVale helped, obviously, even though she pushed for more⊠Extreme measures. She wanted to take over the city. Me? I just want a front for a criminal empire.â he yawned. âGod, Iâm so tired. Killing people is exhausting.â
âI can imagine.â
*** Oswald got what he wanted so badly - Bruce Wayne was forced to step down as CEO and Oswald was picked to replace him. All his plans lead to that point, to that decision; the beginning of a new chapter in Cobblepot family history.
âThere was no other option.â Charlie claimed with a smile as Oswald was getting ready to confront Bruce. âHow shall we celebrate⊠Mister Cobblepot?â
âI was thinking champagne.â Oswald said, reaching for his cufflinks. âBut first I want to look Bruce in the eye. I want to see his face when he realizes he lost.â
âA sight to remember.â Charlie agreed lazily. âIâll drop by the Wayne Tower later. What exactly did you tell the board?â
âA sob story, naturally.â he replied, rolling his eyes. âAnd as a result I now got a whole new life handed to me, including a platinum credit card and a penthouse. My puppy eyes are a weapon of mass extortion.â
âOooh, does it mean shopping for furnitures?â
âYes. And I will gladly let you drag me from store to store. Everything for good PR and a well earned reputation of a charming gent. How do I look?â
âLike a handsome devil. Go, charm Regina Zellerbach out of her pants.â
Few hours later she paid him a visit in his new office. It was a weird feeling, visiting the Wayne Tower to talk to Penguin - but it worked.
She came in at just the right moment - as she shuffled into the room that would soon belong to Oswald Bruce Wayne landed a punch on Oswaldâs face. A shattered remains of a glass box between two men told her everything she needed to know; she gasped audibly as Bruce gave Oswald a black eye.
âBruce!â she and Regina Zellerbach called out simultaneously.
âHe lost his bloody mind!â Oswald claimed, sparks of amusement dancing in his eyes. âDid you see that, love?!â
âYou know him?!â Bruce asked angrily, turning around and facing her. âHim?!â
âI didnât know!â she lied, opening her eyes as wide as possible in a display of innocent ignorance. âI didnât know you two have history together!â
âWhat do you mean you didnât know?!â Wayne exploded, as Regina hurried outside to get security. âWhat game are you playing?â
âIâm not playing games.â she said coldly, walking up to Oswald and taking a look at his eye. âIâm a newcomer and donât know every detail of Gothamâs history. All I know⊠Is that you just punched my partner. Please donât involve me in your dick measuring contest.â
âMineâs bigger anyway.â Oswald muttered and she scoffed, even though she knew he knows sheâs actually amused.
âGo to hell, Oswald. Go to hell.â Bruce said angrily, to which Oswald only shot him a cold smile, not quite matching his majestic black eye.
âIâll say hi to your parents once I get there.â Oswald said politely and Bruce Wayne left his office, leaving Oswald behind as the new lord of the land - triumphant and content, even despite a black eye.
âI think thatâs it for my friendship with Bruce Wayne.â Charlie said, glancing in the direction of the massive door. âI donât think there will be more tea invites. Not after you called me love. Did you do it just to piss him off?â
âThat is a remarkably dumb question, love.â Oswald replied and she laughed, shaking her head.
He touched the skin under his eye and hissed quietly.
âChrist, I didnât know this wimp can throw a punch like that!â
âAnother piece of your martyrdom.â she said, sitting on the surface of the massive, wooden desk. âThe news story is practically writing itself.â
âYes, and it will be one hell of an article.â he muttered in response, critically looking at a nearby bookshelf. âI think Iâll throw this one out and replace it with a giant fish tank. What do you think?â
âI think you should take some interior design classes.â she said, lightly tapping the surface of the desk with her fingertips. âCome here, you martyr.â
Zellerbach came back in a perfect moment - just to see Charlie placing butterfly light kisses on Oswaldâs latest bruise. They moved away from each other as the chairwoman cleared her throat.
âWell, that was an unpleasant accident.â Oswald stated, fixing his tie and innocently looking at Regina. âWhat had gotten into him?!â
âNo idea.â the chairwoman replied coldly, as Charlie slowly got up. âI take it⊠This is the partner you mentioned?â
âThatâd be her, yes.â Oswald said, briefly glancing at Charlie. âMy partner in crime.â
âOswald!â Charlie scoffed, hiding her smile. âBe serious.â
âThis is very interesting, mister Cobblepot. How comes nobody heard about this affair, if you donât mind me asking?â Regina asked, turning her attention to Charlie.
âWhen I first visited Gotham we were still a work in progress. A long distance work in progress.â Charlie lied smoothly. âI wasnât aware of all the details and no one ever asked about my relationship status, so⊠It never came up.â
âItâs mostly on me.â Oswald added lazily. âI insisted on keeping it like this, lest it would wreck her good reputation and Iâd be seen as a parasite.â
âWell, in a few days youâre going to become a very public person.â Regina warned him. âWe scheduled the official announcement for Saturday. Brace yourself, mister Cobblepot. Your every step will be watched⊠Same goes for people you surround yourself with.â
âOh, Iâll be on my best behavior.â Oswald assured her politely. âIâve got everything to lose. No rash decisions, no outbursts⊠I wonât make the board regret this decision.â
(Something in Reginaâs eyes told Charlie at least one member of the board probably already regrets it.)
âIâll be going now.â Charlie said, smoothing her dress out. âCatch me later, so we can get down to furnishing.â
âSomeone already arranged a meeting with a designer.â Regina said with a sour face. âAlready had been taken care of. The company really wants to keep its good name.â
âWonderful! Charlie, love⊠See you later.â
âIâll get that champagne.â she said before leaving and he nodded vigorously.
He looked like he was in his element - an important position, lots of people following his orders, lots of money, not a whole lot of responsibility.
Bruce Wayne called her when she was buying a bottle of champagne in one of Gothamâs most expensive stores.
âHello, Bruce.â she said cautiously, putting a bottle in her basket and briefly glancing towards wines.
âDid you know about this?â Bruce asked, skipping the greetings. âHis family history, my family history⊠Itâs oddly convenient that he decided to come back just as my corporation needed a new figurehead.â
âOf course I didnât know!â she assured Bruce, rolling her eyes. âThough to be fair⊠He does have every right to be angry.â
âYouâre on his side?!â
âOf course Iâm on his side, weâre in a relationship! Also we live in the same hotel apartment. I think Iâd notice if he was involved in some shady business.â
(Like killing the mayor, drugging the candidate and exposing the true nature of Thomas Wayne.)
âSomehow I know youâre not telling me the truth.â
âOh, come on, Bruce.â she sighed. âGet some rest, collect your thoughts. Youâre paranoid. Youâre lucky I even picked up, after your little show at the tower.â
âHeâs not worth it, Charlie. This affection, this concern, you, you⊠Heâs not worth it.â
âOh, but he absolutely is worth it.â she said firmly. âIf anyone in this situation doesnât deserve me - itâs you, since clearly you canât tell the difference between me and Oswald. See you at the press conference, Bruce. I hope youâll come to your senses.â
She hung up and the cashier - young woman, named Betty - gave her an understanding smile.
âMen.â she said, shaking her head.
âMen.â Charlie sighed theatrically, swiping her card. âAnd they say us girls are petty.â
(Lying to Bruce Wayne was as easy as breathing, and she felt no remorse for leading him astray; he meant nothing to her. Their friendship was never meant to be; all it was was just another part of Oswaldâs plan, another detail of Wayneâs ruined reputation. His father took everything from Oswald - so now Oswald was taking everything Thomas worked for, piece by piece. His sonâs happiness was very high on that list.)
Oswald came home soon after her; he wasnât needed, as all he had to do was to stick around for the IT guys to get him into the system. He seemed very pleased with himself as he opened the door.
âNew era is beginning!â he announced. âPenniless, no-good crook Cobblepot is gone. Iâm now the richest no-good crook in all of Gotham! God, I sure am glad I killed Hill and Falcone. Iâd hate to be number three.â
âAnd Iâm the best liar in Gotham. What an unstoppable force we are!â she giggled from the couch. âHowâs your eye?â
âHurts like shit, but reminds me of good olâ times. You could always kiss it better, you know. Iâm not going to mind. In fact - I demand it. I demand all the kisses I so rightfully deserve.â
âWhat, did success go to your head so quickly?â she asked playfully as he walked up to her. âYouâre bossy. But itâs alright. I like it when youâre bossy.â
âWhat a funny coincidence! I also like being bossy.â
Next few days were relatively peaceful - Oswald achieved his main goal, so all that was left to do was for him to officially move into his new apartment and begin his new life as Gothamâs brightest, most tragic and most noble star. Officially, he and Charlie came as a joint package; she brought him back to Gotham, after all. It was only fair she remained in his new life - especially considering being in love would be the best PR move of them all. Nobody knew anything about Wayneâs private life - and Oswald made it his mission to be everything Bruce never was.
So nobody as much as batted an eye when they went shopping for furniture together, after planning out the interior design of Oswaldâs brand new nest, located - naturally - in best part of Gotham. Oswald insisted on a bed frame with columns, claiming they are absolutely imperative to his wellbeing.
âBut why?â Charlie asked, insisting on something way more simplistic.
âThis is not a conversation we should be having in front of other people.â Oswald said with a wolfish grin. âBut letâs just say⊠I think youâll like it.â
âAlright.â she said, giving up. âHave it your way⊠But Iâm picking the couch. And chairs. I need something with comfortable arm rests.â
âOh, absolutely.â
â...canât you be decent for thirty seconds?â
âI am perfectly decent.â he said innocently. âIâve got no idea what are you talking about.â
She nudged him with her elbow and they carried on, taking care of one room at a time; Oswald seemed overjoyed at the perspective of furnishing and decorating a luxurious flat.
(Of course he insisted on a bathtub with colorful lights.)
Eventually all that was left was a trip to the tailor, to get him some better quality clothes; and he turned out to be extremely picky.
âThose two jackets are identical, Oswald. Identical.â Charlie groaned after third hour in the tiny, posh shop.
âDonât you see the difference in shades?!â
âObviously I do not. You look good in both, by the way.â
âMmmm.â he muttered, critically looking at his own reflection, same way he did for the past three hours. âNo, somethingâs offâŠâ
âJesus Christ.â she muttered and he snickered.
âHey, everything about this new me has to be impeccable. Beautiful flat? Check. Tragically beautiful backstory? Check. Irresistible charm? Check. You? Check. My clothes should represent everything I stand for.â
âSo buy this one.â she said, throwing a blood-colored tie at him.
He did end up buying the red tie, and a wide collection of other things; he left his measurements and address and - when he wasnât looking, too busy admiring his own reflection, like a very bloodthirsty peacock - she sneakily bought him a pair of ruby cufflinks and a matching sapphire tie pin; they were pretty and in her colors - a gift sappy enough for a young couple and showy enough for social elite.
(The cashier seemed tormented by their presence in the shop and she couldnât blame him - Oswald was unbearable. It was endearing - but also insufferable.)
âMaybe we should wear matching outfits.â Charlie suggested jokingly on their way home; they finally checked out of the Peak and moved their stuff to his new place. They still had a lot of unpacking to do, because they kept getting distracted - mostly by each other. New furniture needed testing, after all. âWait. Should I even be there, if Iâm not affiliated with Wayne Enterprises?â
âOf course you should be there, I have an image to maintain and people to dazzle.â
â...and thatâs the only reason?â
âOf course not, and you know it. Or do you want me to spell it out for you?â
âMmmm. Yes.â she said, not looking at him. âWhy do you want me there?â
âBecauseâŠâ he said, wrapping his arm around her as they were walking down the street. âBecause I love you and am so, so thankful for the part you played in this thing. Also because I want to see Brucie squirm. But mostly because you played a role in this thing as well⊠And I love having your eyes on me. Good enough answer?â
âYes.â she said as they entered the building. âGood enough⊠But I think I didnât quite hear the first part. Care to repeat?â
âThe one about me being grateful?â he asked playfully as they were waiting for the elevator.
She pouted and he laughed; but later that night he gave up and told her what she wanted to hear. He told her multiple times, as he peppered her skin with kisses and as she ruffled his hair, trying to pull him closer.
*** The morning of the press announcement came and Charlie wasnât nervous; why would she? Everything seemed to be working perfectly for them. Oswald - despite Louiseâs claims of being a terrible actor - was playing his part well; he was polite, eloquent, charming. He hid his apparent thirst for blood and other darker urges deep underneath; and watching him get dressed up in the morning Charlie almost forgot about the blood he spilled and things he stole.
(She almost forgot about their circumstances.)
âWear these.â she said, handing him the gift she bought him yesterday. âItâs⊠A present.â
âMarking your territory?â he asked with a smirk and she scoffed. âIâll wear them with pride.â
âYou better.â she said, disappearing in the bathroom; she had a lovemark on her neck to cover up.
She left the bathroom dressed up and proper; Oswald watched her as she was putting her shoes on, elegant ankle strap pumps.
âYou know, I quite like it when youâre all prim and proper and elegant.â
âWhy so?â
âBecause it creates a beautiful contrast with the way you are when we are alone. Not quite so proper, not quite so elegant⊠And definitely not quite so articulate.â he said with a smirk. âPeople look at you and see a graceful, reserved young woman. I look at you and see⊠More restrained person.â he said, laughing at his own innuendo; a reference to when they were testing out their new bed and he finally revealed why he insisted on the columns. It was a long night for her, as he refused to give her what she so desperately wanted - not until she admitted his idea was good. And it took a lot of convincing to make her crack, a lot of gentle persuasion - but in the end his silver tongue prevailed and she called his name out tearfully, barely able to arch her back due to her restraints.
It was a fun night - even if it left her with new bruises she had to hide. Other people didnât need to know the details of their intimacy; even if she sometimes entertained the thought of going out with her bruises exposed - he now had a reputation to maintain. No point in spicing it up with easily misinterpreted bruises.
âSame goes for you, actually.â she said as they were leaving the building. âYou come off as charming and polite, but I know youâre actually an insufferable prick.â
âAh, but also a very handsome one!â
âInfuriatingly handsome.â she admitted, thinking back to that one time he pulled her undies down with his teeth and winked at her, making her blush furiously; he then insisted on having her eyes on him, as a motivation to keep being nice.
She thought about it a lot.
âDo you remember about tonight?â he asked as they were driving towards the Wayne Tower.
âYes. Youâre taking me out for dinner, right?â
âYes, now that I can actually get a reservation at Lafontaineâs, instead of threatening the owner.â he said and she laughed, thinking back to their first date. âNew chapter is beginning. Excited?â
âFor a glamorous life as Wayne Enterpriseâs CEOâs armcandy? Very. Months of the Agency training are finally paying back.â
He winked at her and she blew him a kiss.
When they arrived, he helped her get out of the car and she brushed his cheek with her lips, giving the reporters what they wanted - a tiny window into Oswaldâs private life, shrouded in mystery. Gothamâs prodigal son seemed to be a loner of sorts, only seen in the company of his dazzling paramour or her friends; Penguin had a deal with his men, keeping them as far away from Oswald Cobblepot as possible. It fit Oswaldâs image quite well - his story was sad, so it was obvious he was a tragically lonely person, rarely trusting anyone. It was a good facade, a perfect fake surface - and Charlie and Oswald maintained it flawlessly, in their expensive coordinated outfits, pleasant smiles, lovestruck gazes and the way he wrapped his arm around her waist and the way she looked at him when he talked with Bruce.
And it wasnât a pleasant conversation, even though Oswald made Bruce say pretty please. She nudged Oswald with her elbow when she heard the change in his tone; it was something she was very familiar with. Even without looking at him she knew exactly what face is he making.
âMy god, Oswald!â she whispered.
âShhh, darling, restrain yourself.â he whispered back.
âIâve got a better idea: you do it.â she said, causing him to slightly tighten his grip around her, in a promisingly threatening way. She felt a shiver run down her spine.
Wayneâs last speech didnât go as planned and she could see Vicki Vale in the front row, furiously taking notes; she looked at Bruce with disapproval. Deep inside, she really hoped heâll come to his senses and just accept what happened - but no.
(His wild theory about Oswald being involved in some shady stuff wasnât even that far off - but Charlie knew that cold glimmer in Oswaldâs eyes and the coldness of his voice. She was the one who dreamed of his bloodied fingers, leaving smudges on her skin; people of Gotham only knew his charming smile and eagerness. Nobody believed in a single word Bruce was saying.)
Finally, Oswald - as politely as he could, watched attentively by Zellerbach - got Bruce off the stage and took his place. She followed him with her eyes, tilting her head slightly; she wondered if he can feel her gaze, same way she so often felt his on her skin.
Wayne didnât look great - in fact he looked sick, pale, his eyes fixated on Oswaldâs face. He seemed shaky, unstable; concerned - mostly about Oswald - Charlie quietly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder.
âBruce?â she said quietly, and Vicki Vale watched out of the corner of her eye. âIs everything alright? Bruce?â
She put her hand on his shoulder, he slowly turned his head and looked at her, and his eyes were hazy - and then he pushed her aside. He was surprisingly strong and caught her off guard; she lost her balance and would fall down, if it wasnât for a nearby reporter catching her.
The commotion got peopleâs attention; before she knew it - Wayne was holding Oswald by the fabric of his shirt. Oswald was shockingly calm, and taunted Bruce; but lost his patience very quickly.
Charlie walked up to them and once again tried to talk some sense into Wayne. Once again she put her hand on his shoulder - to which he let go of Oswald, turned around and caught her by her neck, tightly wrapping his fingers around her throat, choking her. His grip was strong, and she knew sheâs going to black out in a moment; but then Wayne suddenly let go of her.
It wasnât a pretty fight, and Oswald ended up with his knuckles bloodied and new bruises on his face; she was left with a bruised neck. Bruce was left with his reputation completely tarnished; and the press conference was over, with Oswald assuring the journalists heâll gladly take their questions any other day.
Shaken Charlie was escorted to Oswaldâs office, which was in the process of being redecorated; the fish tank was already in place - but it lacked fish.
Oswald joined her few minutes later, putting an ice bag to his latest bruise.
âWhat was that?!â she asked him as soon as he walked in. âWas that planned?â
âNot by me, thatâs for sure. Usually my plans donât include me getting pummeled into the ground.â he scoffed. âNeither they include you being choked by Bruce Wayne. Are you alright?â
âYeah.â she sighed, rubbing her neck. âI guess it looks worse than it feels⊠Though I do prefer when itâs you choking me. You know. â
âYouâre still yourself, thatâs good.â he said with relief. âI think I know what happened⊠And if Iâm right - Iâm going to kill Vicki Vale. Iâm going to slit her throat-â
âAs much as I appreciate the perspective of you covered in blood⊠Maybe donât do that.â she interrupted him hastily. âCome on, Oswald. No harm done, Bruceâs reputation destroyed⊠Bruises will heal.â
âMaybe youâre right.â Oswald sighed heavily. âThough I do not appreciate the pain. Should I cancel the tonightâs reservation?â
âAre you kidding me? No, of course not! We now have to wear those bruises with pride⊠Also I really want to try that crĂšme brĂ»lĂ©e with raspberry sorbet.â she added and he laughed. âEvery time we were at Lafontaineâs we had to stop before getting to the dessert. Maybe those bruises will bring us good luck?â
âThird timeâs a charm, so youâre probably right.â he agreed, gently brushing her neck with his fingertips. âDo you think you can fake a breakdown?â
âAw, trying to get away from work? Bored already, Oswald?â
âI have to be careful.â he said with a shrug. âGain their trust so they go with changes Iâm about to suggest⊠And going home to take care of someone in hysterics will probably earn me some of those good guy points.â
âAlright, I can be a delicate flower.â she agreed. âWatch out, mister, from now on you have a dainty and fragile lass to take care of.â
Her fake breakdown was a masterpiece, even though she nearly broke the character as Oswald was walking her to the elevator.
âYou sure as hell look dainty and fragile when weâre alone and youâre begging, you know.â he whispered into her ear and she quickly turned her laughter into sobs. No one questioned her tears and shivers and how tightly she was gripping the fabric of Oswaldâs clothes; Bruce Wayne was allegedly her friend. Of course she was in shock.
âOh, that was bloody brilliant.â Oswald stated as they got into the car. âYou almost convinced me.â
âI almost convinced myself.â she said, glancing at her reflection in the mirror; her eyeliner and mascara were very effectively smudged and the skin around her eyes and lips was rosy. âCome on. Letâs go home, I want to take a nice, long bath before dinner.â
On their way home, Oswald tried to reach out to Vicki - but to no avail. She wasnât picking up her phone; and Louise claimed she has no idea where is she, stating they broke up a while ago.
âThen maybe I should pay her a visit.â Oswald mused. âMaybe I should gather my boys and pay miss Vale a visit. And then⊠Weâll talk.â
âOr you could not do that and lure her out instead.â Charlie suggested. âSheâs not your enemy, Oswald. Remember, she helped a lot. This probably is just a misunderstanding.â
âYou know, I wouldnât have anything using her serum on Bruce.... If only she told me beforehand. So I could be prepared. You know. Iâd come up with a speech, maybe a sharp, witty quip⊠But this? This ruined a perfect day.â
âOh, come on. Stop being overdramatic and donât let something like this ruin a moment of triumph. Iâm alive, you were seen as a noble knight, Bruce Wayne was seen as highly dangerous⊠When you think about it, itâs actually a perfect scenario!â she continued, until - eventually - he smiled.
âYou know what? Youâre right. Youâre right. This is my day. I got a chance to punch Bruce and rack up some social approval points. Iâm going to just take a deep breath⊠And proceed with what I had planned out.â
â...well that sounds surprisingly ominous.â she said jokingly. âShould I be scared?â
âVery.â he said with a cocky smile as he was parking the car. âWhat, didnât I tell you? Dinnerâs not the only thing I had planned in terms of⊠Celebration. Weâre on top, Charlie. This should be a night to remember.â
âAlright, surprise me then.â she said, getting out of the car. âJust let me take a bath first. And maybe make me some french toast. Iâm hungry, but I donât want to stuff myself before dinner.â
âAh, youâre such a demanding mistress.â he said jokingly. âCan your humble servant at least get a kiss?â
He got a kiss from her in the elevator, just the way she liked it; with his hand on her back and his finger under her chin. It always made her feel vulnerable, but she didnât mind being vulnerable around him, despite all odds. Her vulnerability wasnât a tactical disadvantage - but a source of satisfaction.
Also he looked disturbingly hot with dried up blood splattered on the collar of his shirt, a proof of what happened earlier that day.
âNow make me that toast.â she muttered after stepping into the apartment. âAnd Iâm going to take a bath. God, I can still feel his fingers on my neck.â
âHeâll pay. But as for now⊠Just relax.â
She took a long, relaxing bath, only interrupted by Oswald bringing her her toast - and his french toast was the stuff dreams are made of. Not sickly sweet, with just the right amounts of brown sugar and cinnamon, with just a hint of nutmeg, crunchy⊠She had no idea who taught him that and why, but it sure as hell was a useful skill. Completely useless in robberies and arms dealing - but perfect for making her feel at peace. Oswald Cobblepot truly was a man of many talents.
He cornered her some time later. She was trying to figure out the expiration date on a jug of apple juice when he walked in; and she could feel his eyes on her bare legs. He often said he loves the way she looked at him - but the truth was, she also loved the way he looked at her; he always looked at her as if he was planning something positively unspeakable. It was very flattering - and very effective.
âYouâre staring.â she said, without turning around. âWhat is it?â
âYouâre wearing my shirt.â he shot back; and he was right, she was wearing one of his better dress shirts, with pearl buttons. âI want it back.â
Something in the tone of his voice told her the correct answer, and she smirked; they played this game many times before, this game of cat and mouse where sheâd rather get caught than run away.
âCome and get it then.â she said, putting the jug back in the fridge.
She dove under his arm and bolted out of the kitchen and he followed; it didnât took him long to catch up to her. It never did, because she never actually tried to put up a fight. Why would she? She liked what came next.
âNooo!â she wailed as he threw her over his shoulder. âThis is not fair!â
âLifeâs unfair.â he stated. âStop squirming, youâre not getting away.â
He got his shirt back, and she got something better; she got his touch and his kisses and his teeth on her neck. His fingers crept between her thighs and she sighed and smiled as he peppered her skin with kisses; on her neck, on her breasts, on her stomach, lower, lower, lower.
He had a wicked tongue, and he often used it to bend people to his will; most often he used honeyed words or sharp threats to do so. In her case, however, it was all about the direct approach - and all about pleasure and shivers and making her arch her back as he teased and taunted her and she moaned and gripped the bedsheets.
He got her to the edge - and then he stopped.
âWhat?â she muttered feverishly, her face flushed and her thoughts and eyes hazy. âOh, come on.â
âIâm just trying to make our dinner interesting, thatâs all.â he said innocently, sliding out from between her legs and resting his chin on her abdomen. âSpeaking of which⊠We should leave soon.â
âYou are the worst.â she stated, running her fingers through his hair. âThe absolute worst. Youâre cruel and insufferable and generally a prick.â
âAll part of my charm, love.â
She laughed and pushed him off and got up to get dressed, knowing it will take a lot of time for the warm tension that built up in her body to go away.
Naturally, he wasnât going to make anything easy for her. As she left the bathroom - wearing her trademark black lace underwear they both seemed to love - and opened the closet to decide on which dress to wear he cleared his throat.
âMmmm?â she asked, not turning around. âWhat is it?â
âI want to see you squirm.â he said and she turned around. âInterested?â
âOh, very.â she said at the sight of red rope in his hands; theyâve done it before, except thatâd be the first time she was among the people with rope under the fabric of her clothes. It was an exciting thought - something hidden in plain sight, a knot pressing against her and the growing sense of desperation.
âDo your magic.â she said. âJust donât make it too tight.â
âDonât give me ideas.â he said, already wrapping the rope around her waist.
After he was finished and she tested it out - not too tight, not too slippery, just perfect to make focusing on anything else difficult - he smiled with satisfaction.
âMaybe I should get us last minute opera tickets.â he said and she shot him a terrified look. âOh, donât worry, Iâm just joking. I hate opera.â
âSo thatâs the only problem here? How comforting.â
She put her dress on - simple and black, with a classic leg cut and Queen Anne neckline, directing the attention to her neck and dark bruises on it. She didnât wear any necklace that time; only what drugged Wayne did to her. A simple, dramatic statement; for a brief moment she considered poking herself in the eye to make it red, but she gave up on the idea.
âIâm good to go.â she said eventually, putting her hairbrush down and picking her clutch up. âAlso hungry.â
âSame on both fronts.â he said, putting on his midnight blue jacket; with a sting of satisfaction she noticed heâs wearing the cufflinks and tie pin she gave him. âSo letâs go. Just⊠Donât speak French to Moreau if we bump into him. He might figure you out.â
âOh, I doubt it. He was scared shitless every time he saw me, I donât think heâs going to connect the dots. But alright, no French tonight⊠Outside of kissing.â she added and he laughed, making her feel as if she had a bunch of butterflies in her stomach.
Itâs been a couple of months since she returned to Gotham after putting everything on one card and leaving the Agency; quite some time had passed since they made up and she earned his trust again - and it still felt like the honeymoon phase of a relationship. She didnât mind, not at all.
Lafontaineâs main room was well lit, spacious and filled with warm colors and Charlie smiled lightly, thinking back to her secret meetings with Oswald in the vip room located at the back. This time was going to be different; this time everyone knew and all eyes were on them, even though everyone was pretending theyâre not staring at Oswald Cobblepot and his paramour and dark bruises on her neck. He seemed confident and polite, keeping his head high and she smiled as he pulled out a chair for her.
(Her breath got shaky for a moment as she was sitting down, the knot pressing against her. So much for the perfect gentleman Cobblepot.)
âI feel like a caged animal in the zoo.â he muttered quietly, so quietly only she could hear him. âEveryoneâs staring.â
âI thought you like attention?â
âI do, but I also value my privacy. Also I look out of place.â he pointed out, brushing his jaw with his fingertips; and he was right, in a way. His suit was impeccable; but his face was rough. He was very nice to look at - but his bruises and scar did stand out quite a bit. She could only imagine itâs even more visible when observed right next to her own - rather delicate - features.
âMaybe a bit, but I wouldnât have you any other way. I like your face.â she said, picking up a menu. âOh! They changed the selection a bit.â
âMaybe I should skip hors d'oeuvres.â he muttered, winking at her; she quietly laughed, covering her mouth. âAnd dessert.â
âSomewhere in the afterlife our ancestors are very scandalized.â she said, not looking up from her own menu. âIâm not though, Iâm⊠Intrigued.â
âPatience, darling, patience.â
It was a pleasant evening, even if she could feel other peopleâs eyes on her skin; strangers looked at their every gesture and tried to eavesdrop on every word, every quiet laugh. She wondered what do those other people see when they glance at them, unaware of blood on his hands and a piece of rope under her dress, what do they see when they look at the way he pours wine for her.
Naturally, he made her squirm a bit; by making her laugh and by lying to her about her lipstick being smudged, which caused her to get up and go to bathroom - and this short walk left her feeling very tense.
âHow about a walk before heading home?â he asked playfully after regulating the bill. âThe weatherâs perfectâŠâ
âYou prick.â she whispered back as they were walking towards the exit. âYou ass.â
In response he only laughed, pulled her closer and planted a light kiss on her cheek.
âYouâre digging your own grave.â he whispered into her ear. âWeâre now going⊠To the opera.â
And he wasnât joking - he forced her to endure a long spectacle, as they sat in the darkness and his warm hand rested on her thigh and he planted a light, almost mocking kiss on her neck. The much desired release seemed to be very far away.
âCan we please go home now?â she asked eventually, as they were slowly walking down the street.
âOh, maybe. Why do you want to get home so badly?â he asked casually; she looked around, glancing at other people, who definitely were close enough to hear her if she spoke normally.
âBecause I donât want to be arrested for public indecency.â she said nonchalantly; an elderly couple nearby shot her a scandalized look. âAnd Iâm afraid itâs about to happen.â
âYou raise a fair point. Fine, weâre going home⊠Away from the prying eyes. Just you, me⊠And all the things Iâm going to do to you.â
âOh yeah? Like what?â
âWouldnât you like to know.â
She found out soon enough, and it was a long night for her; she ended up with more bruises and bitemarks and his relentless, merciless teasing turned her into a feverish, bumbling mess under his touch, taunted with fake promises. He wasnât feeling gentle, and she didnât mind, not when he pulled her hair, not when he dragged his nails across the sensitive skin of her thigh. It was a long night, and when she finally wrapped her legs around him he laughed in her face and claimed sheâs going to break his ribs. He kept laughing as she bit his arm and scratched his back and pulled his hair and only stopped laughing as she kissed him, her breath hot and shaky.
It was a long night and her body was sore, but it was a good kind of sore; one that can be soothed by falling asleep in someoneâs warm embrace.
*** He woke her up by dropping a newspaper on her back.
âWhat?â she muttered without moving, still on her stomach, her cheek pressed to the pillow and her eyes closed. âCanât it wait?â
âIt can, but I want to see your reaction. Come on, Charlie. Rise and shine.â
âMake me.â she muttered, to which he grabbed her ankles and pulled. It worked; fully awake Charlie crawled back into bed and rolled onto her back, rubbing her eyes.
âOh, cripes.â Oswald said, seeing the mark his teeth left on her right breast. âWhy didnât you say something?â
âBecause I like it when you bite me.â she muttered, reaching for the newspaper. âOh hey, itâs an article about you fighting Bruce in my defense. Thatâs a damn good photo.â
âTurn to page six.â
â...what?â she said after rereading the header for a few times. âThis is bullshit, I didnât have an affair with him!â
âI know you didnât, but I still wanted to see your reaction.â he said, visibly satisfied. âSince officially we go way back⊠Congratulations, Charlie, you cheated on me with Bruce Wayne. You bewitched him completely.â
âStop it!â she pleaded as he laughed. âThis is giving me the creeps, Iâd never see him like this!â
âOh, this is beautiful. And this alleged quote? Him saying If I canât have you, no one can? This is absolutely hilarious.â
âWho the hell gave them that quote? Oh, itâs from an anonymous source. Of course. Itâs been less than twenty four hours and weâre already in the center of a scandal.â she sighed. âDoes it mean Iâll have to cry on live television, saying Iâd never cheat on you and am absolutely heartbroken from those allegations?â
âMost likely.â he said with amusement. âIt probably also means weâll have to tell our beautiful, completely fake story. Everyoneâs curious about me. All the eyes are on me.â
âLetâs stage a breakup.â she muttered. âOr not. Letâs keep the lie going. Paint you with the whitest paint in existence.â
âIâd like to remind you about a tiny, insignificant detail: weâre together for real. Me being a good person is a lie, us being head over heels for each other⊠Not so much. Letâs not make it any more complicated, itâs nothing that canât be fixed.â he said very seriously. âIâve got a corporation to take over. With time Iâm going to make people forget about Bruce Wayne. Iâm going to be so, so much more lovable than he ever was. Letâs not stage a breakup. Youâre a terrific actress, Charlie. Iâm sure you can squeeze out some more fake tears.â
âI can squeeze out oceans of tears.â she yawned. âChill out, Oswald, Iâm not bailing out. Iâm having too much fun. You seem stressed though.â
âI do? Iâm not stressed, Iâm excited. I finally got my hands on what I wanted. The possibilities⊠Are endless.â
âTry to not forget about Penguin though. People might get suspicious if he just disappears.â
âAh, but donât you worry about a thing, Iâve got it all figured out.â he assured her. âI can lead a double life.â
âWe can lead a double life.â she corrected him. âLast time I disappeared people started to suspect Penguin killed the Pinniped and dumped her corpse into Gotham River. And now theyâve seen me disobey you. I canât just go away, someone might add domestic abuse to your list of charges.â
âWhich⊠Wouldnât actually be that bad of a move, strategic wise.â he suggested. âItâs all in the behavior. The more different Penguin and Pinniped are from Oswald and Charlie⊠The better. As far as Iâm concerned, we appear to be a picture perfect young couple of polite, charming individuals. Anyone suggesting we might have anything to do with those violent, overly dramatic and theatrical criminals will be seen as crazy.â
âWow, you really have it figured out. Alright, itâs your plan, Iâm just an accomplice.â she said with a shrug. âFor now letâs go with the flow. Planning far ahead⊠For some reason never works out for me. Case in point: you. That wasnât planned, and look at me now.â
âOh, Iâm looking.â he said with a smirk. âAnd itâs as pleasant on the eyes, as Cobblepot is easy on the tongue.â
âYou must be really proud of that one liner.â she groaned. âItâs terrible. Terrible. Also Iâm hungry. Since youâre not letting me sleep⊠At least compensate me with food.â
âOnly if youâll agree to accompany me today.â
â...well that sounds ominous. What do you have in mind?â
âI want to visit the cemetery where my parents are buried.â he said flatly. âI...Never got a chance to do it, because at first I was on the other side of the pond, and then I didnât want Gotham to know Oswaldâs back. So thatâd be the first time⊠In a long, long while.â
âThatâs one way of starting breakfast.â she replied after a pause. âSee, now Iâm going to feel weird with asking you for bacon pancakes, now that you dropped this grave revelation on me. Of course Iâll come with you, just⊠Next time maybe pick a better moment to ask. For a seasoned charmer and a diplomat⊠You have ridiculously bad timing.â
âNo oneâs perfect, even though Iâm pretty close to it.â he said, and he sounded like he was trying to hide his relief behind a facade of cockiness. Being cocky suited him, same way his meticulously tailored suits and old scars suited him; being a sentimental sap suited him as well - but she could imagine heâs not yet ready to embrace that part of himself.
They decided to put fixing the affair with Bruce mess off for later; naturally they had to do it eventually, as Oswald was the second most watched person in Gotham, newly elected mayor Dent being the number one. The anonymous allegation of Charlie secretly putting penniless Oswald - and the then-developing thing between them, according to the fake story they created for the sake of everyone from outside their inner circle - aside for the sake of charming, monumentally rich Bruce⊠Wasnât good publicity.
âDid you know thereâs an entire hashtag on twitter devoted only to the Waynes thing?â she said as they were driving in a car and she was on her phone. âWaynegate. Itâs booming. Also you should get a twitter. We could be disgusting online.â
âIâll consider it.â
âAaand I just made a mistake.â she declared, liking a tweet. âMy account got verified and I just liked a clip of you decking Bruce with mmm whatcha say in the background. God, people are really head over heels with you.â
âOf course they are, Iâm charming, tragic and genuine. Whatâs not to love?â
She snorted quietly. His narcissism was very blatant - he was semi-decent at hiding it, but he also loved to give in to his penchant for theatrics, showmanship and attention. All parts of his charm; sure, it was a very specific charm, but⊠She liked it.
âSomeone just called you Oswald CobbleHOT.â she announced eventually and he laughed. âTheir friends are shaming them for it, but theyâre adamant. I retweeted it. For now Iâm pretending I havenât read the news and donât know anything about any affair.â
âItâs Sunday. Letâs have a day off from public relations and maintaining a good image.â
âBut youâve only been a public person for a day! Tired already?â
âIâm never tired.â he said, noticing a good parking spot. âAnd if Iâm tired, Iâm tired of other people, not of accomplishing my goals. Also⊠Itâs Sunday and weâre alone. Letâs be ourselves for a day.â
âOh, right, I forgot your charming and polite persona is just a disguise.â she teased. âNo, no, donât say anything, I know what you mean. Iâm just being an ass, since you want me to be myself.â
âAh, but thatâs the entire point, isnât it? Me being charming isnât entirely fake. Same applies to you being sweet and gentle. Because letâs face it - you are a very sweet person. Even when youâre being an ass. Especially when youâre being an ass.â
âOh my gosh.â she said, feeling a lump in her throat. âStop it, you disgustingly charming sap. Donât use your charm against me.â
At that time of day - early afternoon - the cemetery was almost completely empty; it wasnât a good time for visiting dead loved ones. Maybe for the better; crowded cemeteries felt weird, unnatural. There was no privacy, and the ever present sounds of living felt like the disturbance to otherwise firm sleep.
It was a warm, slightly breezy day; and the grave of Oswaldâs parents was located in the older, more elite part of the cemetery. Their last luxury - being buried among the elite, right next to the Waynes, as he bitterly pointed out.
âIronic, isnât it?â he said as they were slowly walking towards the grave. âEven in death they canât get away.â
For a forgotten grave, it was surprisingly well-kept - almost as if someone was taking care of it during Oswaldâs absence.
âI donât think it was Bruce.â Oswald stated, looking at the names of his parents inscribed on the tombstone and his eyes eyes looked very shiny. âSince apparently he only just found out about everything.â
âI could check if this mysterious someone left any fingerprints.â Charlie suggested hesitantly, feeling lost. The list of potential candidates wasnât very long; she remembered Carmine Falcone had a daughter who had a strained relationship with her family, but Sofia lived away from Gotham and Charlie doubted she was aware of exact details of her fatherâs criminal activities. There also was the daughter of Hamilton Hill, there was Alfred - and that would be it. Even if Cobblepots had any close friends they were unlikely suspects, considering none of them took any interest in Oswaldâs wellbeing over the years. Bruceâs good natured butler and the daughters of Falcone and Hill - possibly ridden with guilt over sins of their fathers - were all she could come up with.
âLeave it, itâs not worth it.â Oswald said, not taking his eyes off the black tombstone. âWould you mind if I talked to them a bit?â
âTalking to a grave wonât be the strangest thing youâve done in my presence, so⊠Go ahead. Do you want some privacy?â
âNo, no.â he replied hastily. âThatâs not needed. Iâm not going to tell them anything you donât already know. Dead men tell no secrets⊠But they also donât hear any.â
She nodded and gently squeezed his hand; he squeezed hers in return, and for a brief moment he looked more like a scared and lonely kid he once was, than a remorseless criminal he became.
âThatâs not how it should have been.â Oswald said finally and she remained silent. âItâs Sunday. I shouldnât be talking to your grave, I should be talking to you over tea. Both of you should be alive. But youâre not, and thereâs no bringing you back - all I can bring back are small pieces of what had been stolen from us. I can use those as a foundation for something new, something bigger⊠Even if cement between bricks will be laced with blood. Iâve done some truly, deeply reprehensible things, things that go against everything you tried to teach me. But look at where your principles got you, and where mine got me. I canât say Iâm proud of who I am, but Iâm getting there. Iâm bringing back the good name of our family. Iâm starting a new chapter - without the Waynes, without Hill, without Falcone. I cleared the board and now Iâm the king.â
He paused for a moment.
âIâm very selective in who I surround myself with.â he said, almost hesitantly. âScumbags like me, broken like me, angry like me. People I can relate to, people who understand. You wouldnât like them, but beggars canât be choosers. Even though I think youâd like her. Sheâs as horrible as I am, except sheâs better at hiding it. Her name is Charlie and sheâs standing right next to me. Sheâs⊠Helping me. And you know what? Now I understand. Now I understand.â
He fell silent again; after a while he turned his head and looked at her.
âTell me about your parents.â he said quietly.
âTheyâre buried in New York.â she replied softly. âI think theyâd get along with yours. My mom was a surgeon, and my dad was a politician, with⊠Ties to the Agency. They were good people.â
âA politician, huh?â he said, his eyes regaining their usual, mischievous spark. âSo either that or a good person. Donât speak in oxymorons.â
âOh, piss off.â
She smiled and he sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, returning his attention to the tombstone.
âThank you for coming with me.â he said eventually, not looking at her. âIt means⊠A lot. We could visit yours next week if you want to. I think I can squeeze a trip to New York into my oh-so-busy schedule.â
âYeah. Iâd like that.â she said, thinking back to the funeral. âHey, Oswald?â
âMmm?â
âI love you. A lot.â
âAnd I love you.â he replied quietly. âAlso Iâm going to need your help in doing something incredibly petty.â
âIâm all ears.â
âThereâs a photographer stalking us.â he said calmly. âIâve seen their reflection in the stone, itâs so well-polished. So when weâll be walking away Iâm going to need you to stretch, so I can spit on the grave of Thomas Wayne.â
âAlright, you overgrown toddler, Iâm game. He deserves that. Aaaand⊠Letâs go.â
As they were walking past the grave of the Waynes she stretched, taking as much space as she could; and Oswald slightly turned his head and spat, snickering with satisfaction.
âHappy?â she asked as they were walking towards the gate.
âMore or less.â
*** She had to put on quite a show due to the rumors of her having an affair with Bruce - she was very, very curious who came up with that fake quote, who was so desperate to try and wreck Oswaldâs spotless reputation by insinuating his partner is unfaithful.
âMaybe it was Vicki?â
âNo, I already asked.â he muttered, reading something. âThatâs not even her article. She admits to drugging Wayne, but says she has nothing to do with the affair thing. And honestly? I believe her.â
âWait, hold on. You found her?â
âYeah, she was hiding from me at the Waterfront. Now that Falconeâs dead itâs much safer. Fish ratted her out. We had a nice chat.â
She raised her eyebrows and he looked up and smiled.
âNo, I didnât break her fingers, if thatâs what youâre wondering.â he said politely, answering a question she never asked. âI only yelled at her and threatened to expose her involvement in everything. That convinced her to admitting to drugging Wayne during the conference. She says itâs because she was pissed I refused to go with her impossible revolution. Delusions of grandeur, and so on.â
âJesus fucking Christ.â Charlie muttered. âDonât say anything more, I donât even want to know. Just⊠As long as youâre sure sheâs not the one responsible.â
âOh, Iâm certain of it. Donât worry. Weâll get that bastard, and then⊠Weâll figure something out. You can always go full Gone Girl and fake a diary.â
âOh my god, youâve watched Gone Girl? Did you like it?â
âI did, actually. Amy was a terrific - and terrifying - character. Very inspiring.â
âYeah, thatâs an opinion I can get behind with. Alright, I can go Amy Dunne on the press. It can be arranged.â
But first, it was time for tears - a very heartfelt, tearful interview with Cobblepotâs lovely, dainty partner, the girl who brought him back and was absolutely heartbroken at the allegations. Of course she would never cheat on him, she never as much as considered it; she loved him with her whole heart, it was love at first sight, almost like a fairytale.
âHeâs a gentleman.â she stated, her skin bruised by handcuffs and marked by his teeth safely hidden under the fabric of her elegant clothes. âA good man, with heart in the right place, even despite everything heâs been through.â
(He laughs as he talks about burning Gotham down; she wonders if someone from the Agency is watching, listening.)
âAnd how did you two meet?â
âIn the middle of a night, in a dark alley⊠I had a knife to my neck and strangerâs hand up my skirt and thatâs when Oswald showed up. He didnât quite look like a knight in shining armor, in that ridiculous coat of his, but⊠In that moment I understood how Guinevere felt when Lancelot swept in.â
She gave a serene smile, thinking back to their true first meeting; abandoned warehouse, sense of urgency in the air.
âHeâs gentle and kind and I would never hurt him like this. I love him too much. Sure, we had to spend some time apart, but⊠This idea never occurred to me. I missed him dearly - but thereâs no good substitute for Oswald. Thereâs no substitute, period.â
And so the interview went, filled with half-truths and not-quite-lies and sweet declarations of love. They asked her about their sex life, to which she nervously smiled and stated sheâd rather not get into detail, but in general itâs very normal, nothing out of the ordinary.
(His fingers wrapped around her neck feel like the gentlest of kisses, and the constant denial feels like the most generous of gifts.)
She painted their relationship in the most dreamy, fluffy colors possible - and not everything was a lie. Sheâd never cheat on him, there was mutual trust, they had something special, something she wouldnât have with anyone else. And Louise - her alleged long lost school friend - confirmed her lies without as much as batting an eye; yes, Charlie already was infatuated with Oswald when they reunited in Gotham. Yes, she wouldnât shut up about him. Yes, it was unbearable. No, she doesnât know if sheâs the new district attorney, what is this interview even about?
Oswald - who watched the entire thing live on his phone - was overjoyed; he claimed she was terrific and very, very convincing. She wasnât so sure about that last part.
âAww, someone on twitter is already over analyzing everything.â
âAnything good?â
âYeah. lmao âvanilla sexâ this is a face of a liarâ
âYeah, to be honest⊠That was the least convincing part.â
âI wasnât expecting a question about sex! You know, I had a - very brief - moment of being very close to saying the truth⊠But there were no good words for it. Also Iâm not sure Gotham general population would appreciate me suddenly going he likes to tie me up and make me beg, and heâs good at it, also our safe word is WAYNE and you wouldnât BELIEVE what he sometimes does before we go out!â
âI can imagine that would be one hell of a scandal, your chivalrous knight actually being a deviant.â
âDeviant in a shining armor and on a white horse.â she corrected him and he laughed and pulled her closer.
*** They were absolutely disgusting together, as stated by Louise and other people unfortunate enough to spend time with them. It was mostly friends she made in Gotham; he was surprisingly antisocial and heavily relied on her in terms of networking. She was good at picking the right people to befriend - smart, capable, influential in some way. Oswald seemed to get along with pretty much everyone; he was simply terrible at making the first step. How he managed to gather a group of loyal people was beyond her; but he found a way.
Her new friends - people she met through Louise, who spent so much time in Gotham she was basically rooted there - seemed to accept him with no problem, occasionally joking about moving up in the social ranks, considering theyâre suddenly hanging out with the CEO of Wayne Enterprises. The only downside was the fact she had to keep her dainty act up around them; but she was starting to sort of like this role. It was kind of nice, being able to - for a while - forget her training and just be a well mannered, bubbly girl from a good home, a gentle soul, so unlike the wild Pinniped, who seemed to defy her Penguin more and more often, planting seeds of discord among his men. Naturally, it was all an act; all was good between them and his men were simply following orders. Oswald had his eyes set on a particular plot of land; and he was willing to go to great lengths to acquire it. Simply buying it was out of question; so he had to think strategically.
And he wasnât half bad, Charlie decided; in fact - he was doing good as CEO, slowly gaining more and more trust and respect. He wasnât able to resist the temptation of spending enormous amounts of money - but it was alright. No one actually expected him to not buy a yacht, or a painting, or something equally useless. Officially and publicly they lived in a way everyone expected them to - they were often seen together, hand in hand, smiling, in love. Eating brunch, attending a fundraiser or a vernissage or a spectacle, shopping. People were enthralled with them as a couple, the way heâd wrap his arm around her waist, the way sheâd rest her cheek against his arm, the way theyâd lightly kiss before parting ways, the way theyâd call each other honey, darling, love.
For his birthday, she reached out to Sofia Falcone, who inherited all of Carmineâs belongings; there still was quite a number of Cobblepot family memorabilia in his collection and she gladly took it off Sofiaâs hands. She never talked about it publicly - but somehow the press just knew. He was moved - and that night he was tender and gentle. He didnât give her any new bruises to hide under clothes; he touched her softly, and she didnât mind, she didnât mind at all.
It was a good life. They mostly only had evenings and nights and weekends for each other, so they were making the most out of it; during the day he was busy being professional and competent, and she was busy helping out at one of local dog shelters. She always liked dogs - they were loyal and kind and wonderfully silly and she could spend an eternity surrounded by them.
It also led to Oswald seeing her in pants for the first time - it just⊠Didnât happen before. During their months together, heâd only seen her in dresses or skirts - thatâs just how the life was.
âWhat.â he said after bumping into her, as she was wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. âWHAT.â
â...what?â she asked, looking at him. âWhat?â
âThose are pants. Until now I didnât even know you have those.â
â...of course I have pants. Jeans, dress pants, yoga pants⊠You didnât think I practice yoga naked, right?â
âI⊠Never thought about it. Shit, I just lost a bet to Louise. I claimed thereâs no way you own pants. She said thereâs no way you donât.â
âDo you want to be even more shocked?â
âOh, Iâm not sure if my heart can take it.â
âI also have shoes that have flat soles.â she said, pointing at her feet; he dramatically clutched his heart.
(He later told her she looked beautiful; no matter how many times she heard it from him - it always left her with a flock of butterflies in her stomach.)
***
They reached peak gross at a Halloween party in Virago, shortly after his birthday.
It took them quite some time to decide on their costumes - he insisted on something matching, which narrowed the selection. They toyed with many ideas - vampire and his thrall. The witch and her servant. The most classical duo of them all - angel and devil. They tested out a lot of ideas, mostly through bed - they were like that. They liked to sometimes spice things up with a little roleplay. For his birthday they decided on a very fake, very pleasant kidnapping; it was fun, especially the things he did with a knife.
(She still had shivers thinking about the cold tip of the knife slowly sliding across her skin, sharp edge cutting through her clothes. She wouldnât mind a reprise.)
The final idea came to them by accident; she was bored and alone at home and he was at a business meeting, charming the pants off potential investors. She wasnât making anything easy for him; she just bought herself a new, pastel-pink lingerie set and was in the process of demonstrating it to him through photos, when someone on twitter made a dumb joke.
and persephone is back to getting dicked down by hades in the underworld
That was almost like a revelation - the most obvious choice, and probably also the best one. She was so excited she accidentally almost posted one of her - thankfully more coy - photos online; and Oswald agreed that this indeed does sound like the best idea.
So - night of the party had come and they were both ready, clad in their costumes. His himation was dark, and he wielded a sceptre and wore a cypress crown on his head; her chiton was light pink - even though they werenât sure if ancient Greeks even had this color of fabric - and decorated with flowers. She also wore a crown of flowers in her hair - and also carried a plush Cerberus around under her arm, because Oswald insisted on it, claiming it was too adorable to be left at home.
Under the fabric, an intricate web of rope was wrapped around her body; Oswald outdid himself this time, not limiting himself to a simple knotted piece between her legs. He managed to tie everything in a way that rendered it invisible to someone who didnât know itâs there; there were no stray pieces, no unnecessary loops peeking from underneath the fabric.
âOh my god, you look adorable.â he said after seeing her in full costume. âIâm not going to be decent tonight. This shade of pink? Your color. Literally. Itâs the color of your-â
â-sensitive parts, yes.â she said, her cheeks red. âAlright, be indecent. I guess no one can expect decency from a god of death.â
âMaybe I should kill someone and cover myself in blood. What do you think?â
âI think I wouldnât mind, even though itâd ruin our good bedsheets.â
âThereâs always a kitchen table, or your favorite chair, or a wall, or-â
âOswald!â
âFine! Iâll be good now.â he promised. âEven though I will live up to my costume. I think I know exactly what did Hades do to keep Persephone at his side⊠Except for the pomegranate thing, that is.â
âWell, color me intrigued.â she giggled, picking up her plush dog. âCome on. Weâll be fashionably late⊠Again.â
Rumi Mori - their gracious host and owner of the Virago - was dressed up as Dionysus, as Charlie pointed out, nudging Oswald with her elbow; their friends rolled their eyes as they noticed their costumes. Apparently dressing up as Hades and Persephone was obnoxious - even though she could clearly see other, much worse, costumes. Vicki and Louise came as a cat and mouse, for godâs sake.
âDo you think itâll work?â Oswald asked quietly, watching very chatty Mori. âRemind me, how did your visit go?â
Few weeks earlier Charlie - disguised as the Pinniped - paid Mori a late night visit. This short and round foreigner was a man of many faces; not only he was the owner of a place Oswald badly wanted to purchase, he was also one of Gothamâs leading arms dealers - and Penguinâs main business rival. He was cunning and deceptive, stealing lucrative deals right from under Penguinâs beak; and this was a good occasion to kill two birds with one stone.
So one night Charlie snuck in, alone; it was a dangerous mission, but Oswald had faith in her abilities. She cornered Mori in his office, where he was enjoying a late night glass of scotch.
âMori, Mori, Mori.â she said, slowly approaching him. âWe need to talk.â
Before the plump businessman reacted, she pacified him; he wasnât an action oriented person, so it was as easy as taking candy from a baby. She sat on the surface of his desk, looking at his mortified face from behind her mask.
âDo you know who am I, Mori?â she asked, crossing her legs; he nodded.
âYouâre the Penguinâs woman.â he said shakily; she scoffed and shook her head.
âWrong answer, Mori. Try again.â
âY-youâre the Pinniped?â
âCorrect. I am the Pinniped. I belong to no one.â she said, glancing at her nails.
(That was a bold lie. She wasnât Oswaldâs property, and he wasnât hers - but they belonged together, as partners in crime.)
âNaturally, I used to think otherwise.â she continued in a casual, friendly tone that scared Mori shitless. âI used to think I belong at his side, I used to think I belong in his heart, I used to think Iâm lesser than him. I used to think so many foolish things.â
âIâm sorry to hear that.â he said shakily.
âDonât interrupt me, Mori. Anyway. The Penguin⊠This stupid, beaked bastard⊠Wronged me one time too many. And you know how the old saying goes - hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. He underestimated me. He thinks I belong with him. He thinks⊠He belongs in my heart.â
This time Mori didnât say anything; he was listening attentively.
âHe thinks Iâm so, so blindly loyal, you see. He thinks Iâm mindless and inert and docile, until he wants me to be aggressive. He thinks wrong. In fact, he does a lot of things wrong. Heâs a lousy, self-centered lover⊠And an egomaniac, in love with the sound of his own voice.â
Those things were almost painful to say.
âHe said some things he should have kept to himself - but no, he shared them with me⊠And now Iâm willing to share them with you, to teach him a valuable lesson. Interested?â
âYes.â Mori said in his most business-like voice. âPlease. Continue.â
âThe deal is simple: I know when and how Penguin wants to take you out.â she stated. âHe hired the best of the best, someone you canât afford⊠But luckily, I know someone who can offer more. The only problem is⊠You have something this person really, really wants.â
âWell?â Mori asked tensely, slightly leaning towards her. âWhat is it? My treasured jadeite? Secrets of the Waynes? My lucky dice?â
âVirago.â she replied lazily. âI am, naturally, talking about Oswald Cobblepot. Heâs a man with many, many connections⊠And can buy your grim reaper out. Except⊠He doesnât have a reason to want to do so. Show him some good will, Mori. Or not - and wait for the inevitable.â
She left Mori that night with something to think about; she played on his fear of death, she planted the seed of fear in his mind - and now the night of truth had came.
âI think itâll work.â Charlie whispered back to Oswald. âLook at him. This is not a face of a happy man. This is a face of a man drinking his anxiety away. Sorry for calling you a lousy lover, by the way. Youâre not lousy.â
âYes, I think the sounds you make when weâre busy speak more than actual words. Did you ever hear yourself moaning? I should record it some day.â
âRecord it all you want, but if youâll play it to anyone⊠Iâll stab you.â
âThatâs kind of hot. Care to dance?â
âYes.â she said, before remembering about her rope. âWait, no!â
But in response he only snickered.
âNo taksies backsies.â he hummed, already leading her onto the floor. âCome on, my wife born of spring. Be strong.â
âYou ass.â she muttered quietly as they danced and the warm tension started to build up in her body as a result of this maddening friction. âWhy are you like that?â
âSeveral reasons.â he said nonchalantly. âOne: I like when people actually ask for things they want from me. Two: being flustered suits you and I enjoy seeing you like this. Three: Iâm an asshole, plain and simple.â
âWell, at least youâre self aware.â she breathed out, hiding her face in his arm. âHeads up. Moriâs walking towards us.â
âMm. Will you be good when I leave you to make the deal?â he asked, gently raising her chin with his fingers; people were watching, as he leaned in and kissed her lightly, just before Mori tapped him on his shoulder and he turned around with a polite smile.
They disappeared for an hour or so; Charlie spent this time chatting about everything and nothing with Vicki and Louise. They didnât as much as mention the conference incident; there was no need for it. Vale and her ambitions were an enigma of sorts for Charlie - but she decided some mysteries are better off unsolved. She didnât need to know everything; she was alright with being just a piece of the puzzle, rather than the puzzlemaster.
Finally Mori and Oswald returned; Mori looked serene, while Oswald looked like a very satisfied, fat cat, barely containing his grin.
âDonât worry about a thing, mister Mori.â Oswald assured him, wrapping his arm around Charlieâs waist. âYour problemâs as good as gone. Now, have you met my fair lady?â
âDidnât have the pleasure.â Mori said, briefly glancing at Charlie, nodding slightly and returning his attention to Oswald. âYouâre a good negotiator. You inherited your fatherâs blood.â
He bowed and left and Oswald followed him with his eyes, his polite, amused smile getting fainter and fainter and his eyes getting darker and darker. Charlie felt a shiver run down her spine; unimpressed Louise sipped her wine.
âI canât say Iâm going to miss him.â she said finally. âHe did just sign his own death warrant, didnât he?â
âHe signed it many years ago, when he sided with Thomas Wayne.â Oswald corrected her calmly. âFor a casino owner, Mori is ridiculously bad at foresight. Now, if youâll excuse usâŠâ
He didnât say anything to Vicki, who also remained silent; they only looked at each other, as if simply being seen talking would be enough for Gotham to figure them out. It was nonsense; but Charlie decided to let Oswald have his oddities and little paranoias.
âWhere are you taking me? Or rather us.â she corrected herself, raising her plush dog. âNot that I mind.â
âOh, I thought we could use some alone time.â he said carelessly. âYou know. Celebrate. And take advantage of how good you look, agapimĂ©ni mou.â
âDid you learn some Greek just to flirt with me while staying in character?â she asked, laughing quietly; he smiled with satisfaction.
âYes, but unfortunately, ancient Greek was out of my reach⊠So donât expect elaborate hymns.â
âSo how did it go with Mori?â
âAs for next week, I own this place. Meaning⊠Moriâs obsolete. Iâll take care of him eventually. Let him believe heâs under my protection.â
They found an empty side room, and before she knew it - his hands were under the fabric of her clothes and he was kissing her and his lips tasted like honeyed wine and she smiled, wondering if this is how Persephone felt after bidding farewell to Kore.
His hands were ice cold, and when he cupped her breasts she knew heâs doing it on purpose; cold was very effective against her and she writhed and mewled as he teased her, one of his hands pushing aside the rope and her underwear, his lips on her neck. The room was dangerously close to the main event, and the walls seemed paper thin; she had to cover her mouth with her hand as he was doing his magic with her body. The line between what she wanted from him and what he was going to give to her was but a gossamer thread; and he somehow always knew what to do to keep her from crossing.
âWhat are you going to do to Mori?â she whispered. âTell me.â
âIâll just make him disappear.â he whispered back, his fingers between her thighs. âAnd no one will ever know, and the only trace left will be blood on my hands⊠Maybe Iâll write my name with his blood on your skin. Maybe Iâll write a love poem. Roses are red, blood is red too, Iâm bad at poetry, but I truly love you.â
Her laughter mixed with moans as she quickly covered her mouth again, her body shaking slightly. She was still laughing when they left the room, her body even more tense than before, her cheeks red and her eyes hazy; she could feel someoneâs disapproving look on her, but she didnât care enough to look around. Who was to stand between Hades and his queen? Even other gods werenât brave enough to intervene.
They went home eventually, and she finally got what she wanted; she always did. He claimed he simply canât say no to her, not when she looked at him like that and her voice sounded more like a breathy whimper; for some reason she never got tired of his theatrics and intricate plans, not when his touch made her feel like this. She loved him, plain and simple; and she told him that, over and over, as Gotham city was falling asleep and under his fingers her skin felt like fire and he sang her body electric.
*** Even though very few people knew the details of what was between them, everyone knew itâs as clear as day that Oswald Cobblepot and young woman living with him love each other; very few people knew just how bloody it was and how many dark parts his soul had and how much she loved every single one of them - but everyone saw the way they look at each other and get lost in each otherâs eyes. Apparently it was heartwarming; Oswald was very determined to make Gotham ten times as much as it ever loved Bruce and his parents - and being seen as one part of a committed relationship, completely smitten with his partner certainly helped. Bruce Wayne had a reputation of a playboy, and a capricious and rather shallow one; Oswald Cobblepot was a charming gentleman - who only ever looked at one person in that special, soft way. He wasnât above kissing a ladyâs hand - but only in her case heâd look up and look her in the eye and smile.
And everyone ate that up. In fact - their very public, very fairytale-like relationship turned out to be so in sync with what the general public wanted it soon stopped being enough. People wanted more, expected more; and Oswald seemed to be very committed to the role he was playing.
(It wasnât all entirely fake, naturally; he was charming and charismatic and intelligent. He simply didnât want whatâs best for the company - he wanted whatâs best for himself.)
He dropped the bomb on her one evening, when they were alone; that day he seemed uncharacteristically anxious and she couldnât figure out why. Everything seemed to be going fine - no one was even close to figuring out the Penguin, and Rumi Mori investigation hit a dead end.
(He did just what he planned, and Mori disappeared without a trace, leaving Oswald as the sole owner of the VIrago and Penguin as Gothamâs most reliable arms dealer.)
âSomethingâs eating you.â she said finally as they were in the kitchen; he was attempting to make churros and she watched. She liked watching him in the kitchen; he was a much better cook than her and watching him doing something as mundane as cooking was very entertaining, considering what kind of person he was.
âI guess you could say that, yes.â he muttered in response and she sighed.
âOswald.â she said softly. âIâm fine with you keeping secrets from me, considering the way we first met, but itâs clear you have a problem. And I need you to remember - youâre not alone anymore. Talk to me.â
âThereâs no need for grand speeches, really.â he said, not turning around. âAnd I trust you. I know you have my back, and I know you really left the Agency.â
(He checked, as he admitted some time ago; he had a highly skilled friend who found a backdoor access to the Agency database. Charlie was on the list of retired agents, with an annotation of being highly unreliable, unfit for the Agency and a potential person of interest; her database and requisition office access were revoked, and so were her license, ID and government-issued seal of immunity, protecting agents from getting in trouble with local law enforcements when on undercover missions. That was an undeniable proof of her really leaving this behind.)
âSo, how do you want me to put it?â he asked, finally turning around. âFlowery prose? A statement plain and simple?â
âDonât overdo it. Just tell me whatâs up. I can take it, at this point I think Iâm used to you and your revelations.â
âHave you noticed how my public persona is doing much, much better than Bruce ever did? Iâm likeable, charming, popular⊠Everyone loves me, and the board is no exception. The board loves me⊠Of course, except for Regina.â he corrected himself, rolling his eyes. âShe doesnât trust me, but itâs alright, itâs mutual. Anyway. There had been some very subtle suggestions that I should make a certain PR move Bruce never did.â
â...go on.â she said carefully, trying to figure out what is he going to say next. âThough the list of things he never did is⊠Short. What are you expected to do, resurrect Martin Luther King? End world hunger? Travel back in time and stop Hitler?â
âNothing of that magnitude, though I wouldnât be so fast about getting number two off the table. No, the board suggested I should probably present myself as⊠Being more like my father, and less like Bruce.â
â...but are you talking about appearance, or-â
âNo, Charlie, Iâm talking about being engaged. The board wants me to get engaged.â he finally blurted out. âAs a PR move, nothing more. You know. To present me as truly bringing back the good name of the Cobblepots.â
âOh.â she said after a long moment, filled with heavy, tense silence. âOh.â
âOh.â he agreed. âNot quite what I expected when I was planning this thing.â
âNot quite what I expected when I was taking that assignment.â  she agreed. âChrist, I was supposed to bring you in, not help you take over Gotham and get engaged to you in the process. Somewhere in the afterlife⊠My father is very, very disappointed.â
âWait. Does it mean⊠Youâre on board?â
âWell, yeah.â she said with a shrug. âBelieve it or not, but Iâve been engaged once. It didnât end well, as you probably figured out from the fact I was single like a Pringle when weâve met, but it already happened once. I can get engaged to you. Just as long as you donât come home next month and announce itâs time for a wedding. Iâm not⊠Big on actual marriage.â
Her nonchalance and this sudden verbal outburst were merely a facade, behind which her actual surprise was hidden; she wasnât expecting that, not in a million years. Not even once she considered transforming their relationship along these lines - she was fine with its status quo. Engagement and marriage were merely legal formalities, unnecessary deadwood; she made her choice and she was making it every day, after waking up and before falling asleep. But she made her promise, of helping him any way she could; she couldnât bail out now. Not only itâd ruin his plans - itâd probably also break his heart, which was much more fragile than he wanted the world to believe. His life wasnât gentle with him; and she saw no reason to further add to his list of poorly repressed issues. Also, she loved him - she could bear some formalities, as long as it was for him. She could think of much worse people to get engaged to.
âReally?â
âYes, Oswald, really. Itâs a strong, definite yes from me. Plus itâs not even the weirdest thing youâd have me do for the sake of your plan. Remember, weâre staging a falling out between the Penguin and the Pinniped. I think I can bear walking around with a ring on my finger, as compared to going around and talking shit about you.â
âSee, this is something Iâm not getting. Why are you like that, Charlie? I know why I am like that - but you have no reason to be so on board with everything I do. So⊠Why?â
âMaybe Iâm just as awful as you are.â she said with a shrug. âMaybe I donât feel like coming up with elaborate plans on my own, so Iâm fine with just following someone more decisive around. Maybe I just love you. Maybe itâs all of the above.â
âIâm fine with those options.â he said, sounding relieved. âSo. Letâs get to planning.â
âWait. Planning?â
âIâm Gothamâs precious crown jewel. We should do it the old fashioned way.â
âJust admit you want attention.â
âLove, everything I do is for attention. Iâm a showman at heart.â
They did it the old fashioned way, and in style. He struck a deal with Gothamâs constantly stressed out mayor; Wayne Enterprises covered all expenses of renovating the Cobblepot Park, and in exchange Oswald for one afternoon got exclusive access to it. Only he and people from the super secret guest list were to be let inside; Charlie insisted on not doing it too publicly, lest it would attract the Agencyâs attention. She was sure she has nothing to worry about - Penguin hadnât been up to anything from outside his usual list of activities, meaning he was a nuisance at best and a moderate, local threat at worst - but itâs better to be safe than sorry.
She wondered if her Agency pals followed the Gotham news; she wondered what does Amanda Waller think when she turns on the TV and sees Oswald Cobblepot prospering and succeeding.
Officially Charlie had no input in planning the entire thing - unofficially she made the majority of decisions. She decided she wants it to be a casual brunch, with mimosas and pink wine and sweets from the bakery near the Peak.
It was a weird feeling - getting engaged to a criminal. Not something she expected to happen at any point in her life, but then again - neither she did with the deaths of her parents, joining the Agency, becoming a criminal herself. She kept telling herself itâs just a facade, an act, just a mere formality; she was ready to go to great lengths to help Oswald.
But still - it felt and sounded weird. Really, really weird.
And then the day had come and she played her part perfectly, the role of someone unsuspecting and oblivious. She acted like she believed itâs just a private reopening of the Cobblepot Park; infused with Oswaldâs money, the park looked breathtaking and her amazement wasnât fake.
And then the weirdest moment came; that thing she never planned, that thing she never thought would ever happen. He made a short speech - a love letter of sorts, a long and fake list of metaphors for everything theyâve done together. He told all those allegories and metaphors and half lies, talking about how she inspired him to be a better person and completely omitting her acceptance for everything dark and bloody about him.
He kneeled in front of her, because of course he did, after all they were doing it the old fashioned way. He pulled out the box, containing Estherâs engagement ring, slightly modified to fit her finger better.
He asked the question, looking her in the eye with that dark, mischiaevous spark she knew and loved so much, that glimmer that drew her in all those months ago.
âWill you marry me?â
That was definitely the weirdest moment of Charlieâs life - a wanted criminal she was an accomplice of, asking her to marry him in a PR stunt. And the weirdest part was - it didnât feel wrong. It didnât feel entirely fake. She loved him for real and he loved her back - so she didnât feel like a liar when she answered.
âYes.â
Engagement was just a formality, just a PR stunt; she realized it suddenly and with full force as he was putting the ring on her finger. They didnât need it. What they had was real, with or without the presence of a marriage officiant.
Her life took a weird turn; but she didnât mind, she didnât mind at all.
*** The sword of Damocles never fell; and somehow they kept on living. Gotham loved Oswald and Charlie and feared the Penguin and the Pinniped; the latter seemed to be on a warpath, after a dramatic fallout. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and hell hath no resentment like a man fooled - and those caught in the crossfire of their loverâs quarrel were very eager for a way out. And thus Oswald built his small empire, hidden in plain sight, right under everyoneâs noses; and he was a skilled architect, and a very patient one. He also turned out to be a very good actor, despite Louiseâs constant claims; only once he got even remotely close to getting in trouble - when someone accused him of secretly supporting the Penguin, who for some reason targeted those who wronged the Cobblepot family. Oswald came out clean - and in return sued the poor sod for libel. Thatâs just the kind of person he was.
Somehow Charlie knew this is the best possible world for them; the realization came to her one night, in her dreams. She opened her eyes and she was in his arms and his breath was on her skin and she remembered a voice, telling her - that this is as good as it gets for them.
They were on top of the world in that one. Life was good, even if they didnât deserve it, even if their happiness was paid for with blood, even if they shouldnât be what they became in the first place. Life was good.
Gotham never learned what hit it.
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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Czech Republic to Eurovision with an unexpected geographical sight name
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Another year, another Czech attempt at a national final that wasnât televised also BUT this time we got some excitement announcements out of them - even if they were blatantly boring, kind of.
Keep in mind though that I know that the revamp's out, BUT this whole review is just me reviewing the version we all witnessed back when ESCZ hit. The one and only.
So the NFâs here because we saw Mikolas succeed from it the last time (eventhough itâs just a secret internal selection for just the Mikolasâs song and thereâs no no denying hihihi), right? And thanks to that we got pseudo-official-but-not-so-official hotel music videos of each contestantâs songs just in case they decide to... like... change it for something different. Like those lyric videos last year. Eventhough they looked so very lowbudget this year, I still liked them to some degree, and eventually I had to witness this one video (set in presumably mostly the living room) where the lead singer confettis all over himself win this year (well not really the video as much as I only got to first hear that song on ESCRadio hahaha). Well, just the lead singer of it. As the buddies were on the other official video (the one Iâll talk about in my revamps update I guess but has anything changed other than the singer singing one of his talking parts?). As a whole the Czech entrants this year are known as Lake Malawi (it exists) and âFriend of a Friendâ is their A-game! Letâs listen!
I liked it ever since my first acknowledgence(??) of it through ESCRadio. It reminded me of those happy-clappy 80s synth sounds (eventhough the 80s songs were mostly about gloom and doom), somehow somewhat mixed in with a bit of that âmodernâ synthpop sound from the British music scene (Years & Years maybe? Nah thatâd be too far-fetched). The lyrics, while cheap enough, at least paint a bit of a picture? I donât think the person in the song was âmaking loveâ to his âoldâ neighbouress back when she was 13, anyway. Sheâs, afterall, the âfriend of a friendâ. Who is a friend of a friend. Who is a friend of a friend. Who is a friend of a friendâs COUSIN~
The thing is that some songs out here are enjoyable besides their lyrical content. Or even without the singerâs background (still looking at those whoâre shading Sheppardâs family business - shut up and enjoy âGeronimoâ in peace, geez!). I, for example, jammed to RiRiâs âS&Mâ for my lifetime - yes, even since when it got big, and the pop music was being made to sound trashy, and not like something that sounds too somber and âfoggyâ, and with lyrics from r/im14andthisisdeep, and then later slapped on those a e s t h e t i c moodboards with tulips and liquid (of colour blue/red) splashed onto them to make it loof more effective, and placed in front of a yellow background on a white table. I miss late 2000s-early 2010s pop a whole lot, because at least it had fathomable-to-the-ear hits of the time - cheap, fast food, techno melodies with overproduction and lyrics that actually mean something more intimate and grotesque (with sometimes even hinting to the love surface) - that was the shit. Now itâs just drowsy stuff with blurry melodies and lamentings of lost love and devotion in an equally slurry, pathetic, vocal whine. Iâm so tired of it. Itâs unsettling. Get it off me. And thankfully, none of that invades this small little bubble of Eurovisionâs just as of now (unlike the other pathetic musical cliche of nowadays thatâs Soundcloud rap - âthanksâ a lot USNK). And I guess I shouldnât be blessed that Lake Malawi brings this âthis bangs but the lyrics are... a choice, but it still bangs so idcâ back onto Eurovision? Like, come on, we all have had such kinds of songs like those all of that time. From âI Canât Go Onâ (a man being a slut for love???) to countless of national final shlocks made by these usual suspects from rent-a-songwriter corner, ESPECIALLY in the 00s, to some of those actual 00s entries that made it - so stupid to sing along to, yet so infectious you canât drag your earworm out of your ear canals just now. What does âFriend of a Friendâ have for itself? Keyboard melody in the 2nd half of the chorus that is easily stuck in MY head, with a female voice (I assume itâs the songâs protagonistâs subject of speech - the neighbourina herself) reassuring that â[sheâs] only [his] friendâ - not in a âhaha Iâm friendzoning you forever >:)â way, but âehhhh thereâs truly nothing between us as he says, weâre just friends, not lovers, donât give me that lookâ way. Sure itâs believable, sure. It might as well turn out that these neighbours are indeed doing the same thing as in all those local anecdotes where a familyâs mother or father has an affair with a next-door neighbour for shits and giggles to move the jokeâs plot forward.
So it is, as a whole, a fun little throwback-ish piece of fine and smooth music, accompanied with the lead singerâs âBritishâ âaccentâ (aha so this is why I get a lot of British radio vibes from this - not to mention, tropical beach ones too for some reason!), some sort of spoken dialogue, energy and the ability to raise you up from your seat the 45875th time youâre actually giving in to all of this. You know you want to, despite this song possibly not being your cup of tea. But I see you, and I look forward to seeing you bopping to this fully in May, no matter if this isnât Mikolas youâre dealing with anymore, and no camel spaghetti. Ahw yeah!
Approval factor: Although itâs also slowly wearing off me like it already wore off everyone else back then, Iâm still giving it one hell of an approval. Yay!
Follow-up factor: I definitely like it more than âLie to Meâ as well. Somewhat. Honestly. Donât bash me in secret.
Qualification factor: the naysayers are saying this will flop but imo theyâre mostly just upset that Barbora didnât go (even if they were only still upset back in the say), STILL. Ugh canât they just leave. I am positive about this songâs chances somewhat, just hoping it gets a really memorable and stand out staging and maybe it will escape this hellhole of its semi. Not very confident, just positive. (Also they rocked the Vidbir stage so hard even the uncomfortable question queen Dramala couldnât not give in the dance, lolz.)
NATIONAL FINAL BONUS
Honestly, the best possible thing that came out of this NF was the oh-so-unexpectedly-expected winner choice, and it is like this because, yet again, people couldnât get over Barbora losing at first, to which Iâm like âto be quite honest, you were all into it because thatâs the closest thing to Lana del Rey youâd ever get in Eurovision because Lana herself is American and America should NOT set their foot into ESC... besides, she wouldnât probably do it anywaysâ. ESCZ wasnât pretty bad of a NF honestly:
âą people actually laughed at the fact every single video of this NF is so low-budget that it looked like it was all filmed in the same hotel room! (in reality Iâm just jealous at the slick-ass hotels theyâve had on there, feels like someoneâs house more than a hotel actually)
âą Pam Rabbit, one of Mikolasâs last yearâs backings, brought the second-best NF song this year imo (Barbora for me is likeable but not to THAT degree, lol calm yer tits), as it was a lowkey bop and I canât not appreciate one!
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(her officially official MV is here but in the spirit of this NFâs, youâre gonna have to subject yourself to this above in order to witness spectacular budget-MVs that happened for this NF especially, come on. Hardly a cool NF without its own little perks!)
âą Fine, Iâll bring up Barbora Mochowa too. I gotta say she DOES sound like Queen Bee Lana, same to say on her earlier works which, among them, has one enchanting and haunting forest-like ballad. âTrue Colorsâ, her ESCZ entry, is just a pop ballad, which is not THAT bad, itâs just that... did yâall see any more in that song beyond the Lana vocals? Sure sure the melody is pleasant but... did ya?
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(Lord alive, she also has a live video for this song on her channel, which is in fact the ESCZâs unplugged version video!)
âą The ex-ESC entrant jury is back for another year! This time though, the votes of all of the participants in it were all up and public (unlike secrety mcsecret ones from 2018 where Iâm not even sure if the Eurojury panel was correct), and most of them were #TeamMalawi or #TeamBarbora... up until AWS (yes AWS are relevant enough for their own panel!), being the âwait do we still have to do Eurovision related things??? itâs sooooo 1 year ago already, let us go goddammit!!â type of participants that they are, totally and utterly half-arsing their own experience in there by 12ing Andrea HolĂĄ. The thing is that sheâs first alphabetically from the artists so thatâs probably the best possible theory why. âGIVE ME A HINT, ANDREA!!!â
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âą The best part? The NF itself taking place in the second floor of an abandoned warehouse somewhere in Czech Republic (Czechia go to hell), in the middle of the day, with no live performances, just that video above played in full motion and some random people speaking in between. Silly of them to leak my ideal NF design location if I ever were a Lithuanian HoD. And yes, it was streamed on Facebook, the platform that I can barely play livestreams on my 11-year-old laptop on, while suspiciously enough, it worked for FiK 56... which meant that I was barely able to grasp a screenshot but I managed!

Well of course I didnât get to watch much but after someone said Lake Malawi (or, in their words, Lake Malala <333) won, I almost believed it until I found out that the showâs still going... and only saw the thing on the projection screen later out of nowhere. IDK whoâs hugging who and if that audience on the right are all the participants then I may have an idea but for now IDK. Ahh, relevant video media being projected on projection screens (duh) <33 giving San Marino, Albaniaâs Powerpoint scoreboards and Belgian 2013 radio NF runs for their money.
I might find mistakes and off-the-wall blabbers in this write-up later but for now Iâll carelessly submit this beauty to Tumblr today and wish the best of luck to Lake Malawi in Tel Aviv! May you qualify for the 2nd year in a row for CZ ^^
#eurovision 2019#tel aviv 2019 reviews#czech republic 2019#lake malawi#friend of a friend#czech republic
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Are you currently wearing anything red? I have a tiny red bow on my underwear.
Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Nope.
What would you say is the most disgusting thing youâve ever tasted? Capers.
What was the last food you got a random craving for? I donât remember.
Has anyone/anything made you angry recently? Yes, always.
Who did you last go to the cinema with? My niece earlier this year to see Moana.
What was the last song that got stuck in your head? How Far Iâll Go from Moana is now stuck in my head thanks to the previous question haha.
When was the last time you listened to it? Itâs been a while.
Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking? I have no idea.
On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? My friend Maryâs birthday was yesterday. Also Americaâs.
How old were they? 37.
What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I have no idea, I have to plan meals for the rest of the week at some point today.
Is your best friend in a relationship? Lydia and Sarah both are in relationships. Randal is not.
How old were you 5 years ago? 22/23.
What is something you enjoy doing, but arenât good at? Singing, I guess.
Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with âCâ? The temp Creighton.
What colour are that personâs eyes? I have no idea.
Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Veggies!
What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film? I guess Spirited Away.
Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like? Just good olâ fashioned hair ties.
Whatâs your favourite type of insect? Lighting bugs.
Whatâs your LEAST favourite type of insect? Earwigs.
Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? Stephanie.
Whatâs his/her favourite food? Iâm not sure. Iâll ask her next time I see her.
Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do? Yes! We had a 4th of July bbq and ate a bunch of burgers and drank yummy drinks and jello shots and had a bonfire going and lit some sparklers and Stephanieâs friend brought actual fireworks and I got to light a couple!
When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party? I donât know if I have ever been to a party you would call âfancy.â
Who/what did you dress as? ^
What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it? Comedy, and yes.
Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it? I am actually going to make a sandwich for lunch. If sloppy joes count as sandwiches that is.
If your best friend was a fictional character, who would he/she be? Why? A mix of Gayle from Bobâs Burgers and Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Because sheâs basically both of them already.
Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation? I can overhear my coworkers talking in the other room.
Did it make you feel awkward? Nope.
What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning? This, haha.
How many vowels are there in your first name? One, but itâs repeated twice.
What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? No idea.
What flavour was the last cupcake you ate? Stephanieâs friend made brownies in a cupcake pan for the party yesterday. They were fudge with M&Ms in them.
When was the last time you complimented a stranger? I donât remember.
Whatâs your favourite milkshake flavour? Vanilla.
Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently? Eh.
Do you know how old your favourite actor is? She just turned 33 I believe.
Is there anything worrying you right now? Getting back on a healthy eating plan.
If so, have you talked to anyone about it? Mark. Is there anything you desperately want, that you canât have? To lose 30lbs in like 2 weeks.
When will you next see your best friend? When Lydia comes back from vacation; when Sarah comes to Chicago/Wisconsin for my wedding celebration; when Randal is free again.
Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? We have to go to dadâs to stay over with my grandmother for the next 10 days and I donât want to fucking do that.
Whatâs the age difference between your parents? My father is older by 2 years.
You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? Butter pecan.
Are there any foods youâve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently? Iâve been eating so many burgers lately.
When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didnât do it? I want to tell off my brother in law so bad.
Why did you choose not to do it? I have to work with him and I donât want it to effect the relationship I have with my sister.
When was the last time you ate an apple? A couple of weeks ago.
Whatâs the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you? They say a lot of nice things.
Have you ever experienced a hangover? Yes, currently. Oops.
What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time? Some sort of Bosnian sausage yesterday, I forget the name of it.
Did you like it? I did! I was a little weary of it because itâs apparently made with veal, but I took one for the team and it was really good. I probably wouldnât seek it out to eat on my own though.
What is your least favourite pizza topping? Pineapple. Fight me. Also I donât like green peppers or onions on my pizza. But I do like all three of those things off pizza.
What do your friends think of the person youâre currently interested in? Everyone seems to love Mark and they all say heâs perfect for me. :)
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter âSâ. Salsa!
The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? My sister came to my housewarming party a couple weeks ago.
Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to? Good question.
Is there a person youâd like to speak to right now? I wish Mark was awake to discus food with me.
Why that person, specifically? ^
When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind? I woke up at 4:30 with a bad tummy ache, so that.
At this moment, what are you most looking forward to? Weddinggggg.
Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)? I have a honeysuckle one in the kitchen and a vanilla one in the living room. We also have two wax burners that both have coconut in them
Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? Yes, in September my friends and family and I are going to the Dells to an indoor waterpark to celebrate me and Markâs wedding.
Who were the last 3 males you talked to? Eric, Creighton, and Tony. Coworkers.
Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer? Nope.
If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? This morning when she crawled on me.
Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song? My Heart Will Go On, naturally.
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter âCâ. Crab legs.
Does the person love/like have a car? What colour is it? Nope, he uses my car, which is silver.
Have you ever received a compliment on anything youâre wearing? On something currently? I get compliments on my Pusheen sweatshirt constantly.
Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? Yes, my green tea latte.
What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? A French Martini.
Did you like it? Yes I did.
Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I have not.
The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? 5 years older.
When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? I refuse to stop referring to my brother in law as a temp even though he asked me to because thatâs what he fucking is.
Whatâs your favourite feature of the person youâre currently interested in? His face is nice. And his arms. And pretty much all of him.
How many people have you hugged today? 0.
Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? Nah.
Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? Tragic Kingdom from No Doubt.
Is there anyone on your mind atm? Nah.
The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone? Didnât you ask this?
Is your birth year an odd or even number? Odd.
Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today? Nope.
What did you have for lunch yesterday? I didnât have a legit lunch. I had some Chex mix and a bloody mary, haha.
Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? Whatâs their sign? Iâm not sure actually. She told me her birthday but Iâm blanking. Maybe it says it on her Facebook. March 6th, which would make her a Pisces.
How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Just the one.
What are your parentsâ middle names? Irvin and Kay.
Are your eyes the same colour as your siblingâs? Yes.
How many pets do you have? Would you like any more? One kitten. I would like 17 more kittens.
Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks? I donât like sparking water, if thatâs what you mean.
Is there a song you canât stop listening to atm? Not really.
Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night? Is it just me or is they survey repeating a lot of questions? I may still be stuck on the survey I took before this one though.
Which friend do you confide in most? Ellen and Kayla, usually.
Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes? This is definitely a few surveys smushed together, but oh well. <--Ahh, see I knew something was fishy with this survey.
Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them: Nope. I actually just took it out of a ponytail a minute ago.
When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? This morning, my stomach is feeling weird.
If given the chance, would you change anything thatâs happened today? ^
Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? I guess some girl named Liz in grade school. I have her on facebook and we kinda still talk but not really.
Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? I love my middle name. I think itâs super interesting.
Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? My dad bought me this shirt in Arizona. And my engagement ring was technically a gift?
Have you received any compliments about your appearance today? Nope.
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Nah.
Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged? Nope.
What colour is your shampoo bottle? Clear.
Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Nah. Sheâs cute but other than that, nothing.
Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? Nope.
Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today? Yeah, Stephanie is my neighbor and the person I mentioned two questions above.
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Come Back To Me ch 4
Prologue |Â 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 || 5
AO3
âI told you,â Plagg says as Adrien unties Marinette with wobbly hands. Once she is free, he guides her to the couch and sits her down.
Marinette touches her waist gingerly; there is some slight pain.
âIâm sorry.â Adrien touches her waist and she jumps nearly off the couch, face burning red. Adrien feels awful; poor Marinette must be terrified.âYou were possessed by an akuma. I had to tie you up so you wouldnât attack me. Alya was there and I couldnât risk her getting hurt so I brought you here.â
Marinetteâs eyes widen, surprise and shame clear in her features. âIs she okay? Are you okay?â
âIâm fine,â he assures her. âAnd Alya isâŠ.â he groans, remembering the situation in which he left Alya. âHopefully exactly where I left her because she has your earrings, Marinette.â
Alarmed, Marinette tries to scoot back on the couch; she has already smashed herself into the back cushion as far as possible. âM-my earrings? What do they have t-to do with anything?â
Adrien sits down next to her and takes her hand in his. She doesnât resist. âYou were an akuma for five days. Alya and your parents found out pretty quick that youâre Ladybug when you disappeared and Ladybug didnât come to the rescue.â
Marinette groans and pulls her hand away from Adrien to cradle her head. âDoes anyone else know?â
âNo.â
âAnd youâre really Chat?â
âYes.â
âCan I get my cheese now?â
Adrien sighs but acts on the cats wishes, throwing him the whole container of cheese from his bag. He deserves it.
Marinette stares.
âThis is Plagg,â Adrien says. He assumes she has her own kwami and doesnât need a full explanation.
âItâs a little cat.â Marinette doesnât know why sheâs so surprised; as a ladybug themed superhero she has a ladybug kwami so why wouldnât Chat have a cat? Though Plagg looks much more like a cat that Tikki does a ladybug. âHeâs cute.â
Plagg makes a gagging noise at the comment and Adrien takes away his cheese. âBe nice or I wonât give it back.â Plagg groans but says nothing more so Adrien returns the cheese.
âAnyway, I should go back to Alya and make sure sheâs safe.â Adrien pulls the photo from his pocket and shoes it to Marinette. âWe still need you to purify this.â
Marinette blushes at the sight of the photo and the implication of it. It seems so silly, now, that she removed her earrings and got akumatized so unnecessarily. She should have known that Hawkmoth would still be around even after Chat Noir left, and she shouldnât have been so reckless. âIâm sorry.â
Pale hands cup her face, silver ring gleaming. âHey, look at me.â Marinette complies, meeting green eyes with blue. He smiles. âIâm so glad youâre back, my Lady.â
The phrase strikes a thought in Marinette. Adrien was in America; that started this debacle. What is he doing here?
âDid you come back just for this?â
Adrien blushes and scratches the back of his neck. The red clashes with his eyes. âI canât seem to stay away, my Lady.â
She unconsciously rolls her eyes. This is her kitty, her partner, and she wouldnât trade him for the world. But she knows their time is limited, and he will have to go back to America before his father notices, if he hasnât noticed already. She puts her hands over his. âLetâs get this over with.â
Alya is not where Adrien left her, and heâs ashamed of himself for thinking she would listen and stay put. The reporter in her could never stay put when thereâs a story on the loose.
âIâll call her.â
Alya answered after a few rings. âMarinette! Is it you?â
Marinette laughed. âYeah, itâs me. Anyway, where are you? Chat said he left you in my room but youâre not here.â
Some rustling noises and uncomfortable grumbles tip Marinette off that something is wrong. âWhat did you do?â Alyaâs grumbles are too low and jumbled to hear, so Marinette repeats her question again, phone pressed close to her ear. âAlya, what did you do?â
âI only wanted to try them on!â she starts off, and from her frantic voice Marinette can imagine she is waving her arms. âI didnât expect a magical girl transformation!â
The heroes freeze. She couldnât have possibly done something so stupidâŠ.right?
âYou didnât.â
Silence.
Marinette sighs. She has never been more disappointed in her best friend. âYou did. Just get back here and weâll deal with it.â
It only takes a few minutes for Alya to bound her way back to Marinetteâs bedroom. She drops through the roof hatch much like Marinette does after a long night of patrolling or particularly gruesome fight: lazily with sloppy coordination that lands her on the floor instead of the bed.
âSheesh Marinette how do you do that all the time without dying?â
Alya knows sheâs in serious trouble when Marinette greets her with a glare instead of an actual greeting. She bows her head and mumbles an apology.
The first thing Chat notices is that Alaâs Ladybug costume is different. Instead of a full-body polka-dotted suit, the hands and feet of the suit are black and streak up into the red of her forearms and calves. The next difference is the black belt on her waist, from the back of which flows two thin, gauzy wings. The biggest difference is the ink black mask on her face, a stark contrast to her auburn hair.
âI like the outfit,â Chat says, hoping maybe Marinette will calm down.
The comment only makes her seethe. How could Adrien say that in a situation like this? Sure, it was a well designed outfit that complimented Alyaâs figure while seeming no less practical than her own suit, but she shouldnât have a suit in the first place.
âSay âspots off.ââ
Alya wants to keep the transformation awhile longer -sheâs Ladybug, her idol!- but she knows sheâs already overstepped her bounds. âSpots off.â In a flash of light the transformation faded and Alya reappeared clad in her characteristic plaid and jeans. She takes out the earrings and hands them out to Marinette. âIâm sorry Marinette. I just wanted to know what itâd be like to be Ladybug. Sheâs my idol! How could I give up that chance?â
She couldnât give up that chance, Marinette understands, but she is still hurt. Alya could have put herself and everyone else in danger. What if Hawkmoth found out there was a new Ladybug? What if he could send out a second akuma? Alya has no clue what sheâs doing- she may have seen every fight Marinette has gone through as Ladybug, either in person or on film, but that is galaxies away from having fighting experience. Marinette muses that Alya would have a lot more knowledge going into it that Marinette did thanks to her extensive research, but once again, research is not experience. And if Marinette is being honest, she doesnât want to lose her place as Ladybug. Maybe one day, after they defeat Hawkmoth for good, she will have to forfeit the spotted suit, but until then she is proud to be the one and only Ladybug.
Marinette puts the earring in, speaks the magic words, reappears in a spotted suit after a fluorescent pink glow.
Chat Noir gives her the possessed photograph. She tears it open, straight down Adrienâs beautiful face. As she says more magic words she wonders if she will remember any of this; akuma victims never do. A white flash fixes the Agreste mansion gate and returns Marinetteâs yellow ribbon to her desk. She stands there in the center of her room, Chat Noir standing on one side and Alya on the other. Her features are alert, but they also betray her underlying fear.
âWhat happened?â
Both Chat Noir and Alya stay silent. Neither wants the burden of explaining.
The earrings beep. Marinette reaches up, touches them gently, as if they don't belong there. She knows she is missing something, but she isn't sure she wants to know what. She asks them to leave. They put up a fight but eventually go when Tom and Sabine come up the stairs. Marinette doesn't hide or drop the transformation; she isn't ready to give it up yet. It feels so long since she last wore the suit, but why? Didn't she and Chat fight an akuma just two days before?
She hears her parents crying before she feels their tears on her shoulders. She doesn't know why they are crying, or why they are hugging her as Ladybug, or why they are calling her Marinette. She doesn't ask, she doesn't ask, she doesn't ask.
#ml fanfic#akumatized marinette#Marinette Dupain-Cheng#adrien agreste#chat noir#angst#my drabbles#ladybug!alya
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Week 5: Swamp Ass or Stank Face?
The main plot of this weekâs episode is The Battle of the Bayou starring: Taylor, the calculating analytical elitist who knows what sheâs talking about most of the time but comes off as unapproachable and rude as she constantly reminds us she has her Masters; and Corinne, the obnoxious narcissist whose every statement is so ridiculously and hilariously false you canât tell if itâs all a strategic act or if sheâs actually just a dumb, spoiled psychopath. Sounds familiar, doesnât it? We once again pick up in the middle of last weekâs episode where Taylor is still trying to reason with an unreasonable fame whore, and said fame whore continues to be the absolute worst.Â
Interestingly enough, none of the girls actually know what theyâre fighting about and no one really cares. Even Alexis, the girl who allegedly wears a sumo suit to go to CVS just for kicks, thinks the two of them need to grow up because weâre not in high school anymore. Someone aptly points out that Corinne has done nothing to Taylor, and Taylor has done nothing to Corinne, yet here we are, watching them talk in circles about nothing. After firing off a few one-liners about Taylorâs stank face, Corinne takes it a step farther and tells Nick that sheâs scared of Taylor because sheâs not here for the right reasons and âthat hurts her...for Nick.â Once sheâs finished telling Nick all about Pizzagate and Taylorâs evil ways, Corinne is convinced that Taylor is going home and that she is âhashtag winning,â because nothing is more topical than a 5 year old Charlie Sheen quote.Â
And if Corinne hadnât started this drama Taylor might have actually gone home that night because Nick has never seemed interested in her, but itâs the 2-on-1 week so Taylor lives to see another day. Great.
The Next Bachelorette
After being made to suffer through almost an entire rose ceremony before actually getting her rose, Rachel is *blessed* with this weekâs 1-on-1 date which actually seems fun compared to poor Raven who was stuck hanging out at fucking Bellaâs soccer game. As they pal around New Orleans eating oysters and beignets, Nick preposterously claims that of all the girls in the house he has the âmost explosive chemistryâ with Rachel ...
After Nick and Rachel lead a Second Line through the streets of New Orleans, Rachel tells a a story about how the last time she was in NOLA she participated in a parade but it was for a funeral, which is when she decided to live her life to the fullest and...go on the Bachelor? This story, as well as the background on her intimidating federal judge of a father and how Rachel is not used to being vulnerable despite being very emotional (or something like that), serves as the perfect set up for Rachel to be the next Bachelorette. Itâs a NO BRAINER at this point, and Iâm 100% confident that this is what ABC was hoping for when they âcastâ Rachel to be on the show. ABC really wants a diverse star to prove they donât have a race problem, but she has to be likable (code: not too black), smart (code: have a real job), and beautiful. Coincidentally, Rachel has all of those characteristics and Nick seems into Rachel enough for her to make it to hometowns, leaving me with the hope that, maybe, just maybe, weâre finally going to have a Blachelorette.
Do you believe in ghosts?
The group date this week presents us with a chance to identify the women who say things like âthe energy in this roomâ by taking the girls to the Houmas House, one of the most haunted houses in America that also happens to come with a full bar and a Norman Bates caretaker who goes by the name of Boo. Boo takes the girls on a tour of the old house that is apparently haunted by a young girl name Mae who gets real pissed when you fuck with her dolls. I canât tell if itâs the fake painting of Mae or the fervor with which Boo demands that no one touch these dolls, but Iâm 99% sure that these dolls all belong to Boo, and Mae never existed. A few minutes of research reveals that the house, also known as Burnside Plantation, once housed 750 slaves and was the center of the largest slave holding in Louisiana.Â
So itâs pretty safe to say that if any ghosts actually haunted this plantation they wouldnât be of a little girl worried about her goddamn dolls, but one of the countless slaves that lived and died in captivity. Curiously, nothing about slaves or the plantation are ever mentioned as Boo continues to make a big deal the girls not touching his dolls.Â
Once the girls are forced to hang out alone with Nick after Boo takes his leave to try on some of his dead motherâs clothes, they play with an Ouijia board to distract from the crushing reality that they are all wasting their time (and losing money) while looking for love on this show.  And then coincidentally, after Jasmine the vocal non-believer of ghosts touches a statue, a chandelier falls and things start getting spooky! While the girls take turns playing Ghost Hunters, Nick has empty conversations with everyone except Raven*, who accidentally lets slip that she fell in love with Nick while he was rollerskating. This is dubious for many reasons, including the fact that sheâs spent maybe 6 hours in total with Nick, and also, itâs Nick. But Raven seems pretty genuine and Nick very surprised, so Iâm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately for Raven, however, Nick and the producers already decided he needed to give the rose to the girl next door, neonatal nurse other video vixen, Danielle M., to reaffirm his intention to continue to string her along. Iâm sure Boo was thrilled to see them leave so he could get back to his tea party.

Battle of the Bayou
And now, for the âmain eventâ of the episode: the rumble in the jungle between Taylor and Corinne! In the blue corner, coming in hot with a Masters from Johns Hopkins and a âstank face on her face,â Taylor!! In the red corner, trying so desperately to make every in-camera interview into a gif, Corinne!! Throughout the episode both sides are given their chance to present their case to the Nation of Bachelor. According to Corinne, she is exactly what Nick needs and Taylor is a bitch who thinks shes better and smarter than everyone. According to Taylor, she has her Masters, is more qualified to be a wife, and Corinne is a lying manipulative clown. Sounds familiar, doesnât it?
Once they reach the depths of the bayou, Nick and the girls are met by the best voodoo priestess ABC could find, Rachel Dolezal 2.0. I was hoping for either an old black blind woman or an Angela Basset type, but beggars canât be choosers in the swamp I guess. They are soon directed to Ms. Cleo, who reads Taylorâs fortune first and warns her that itâs best not to engage with the evil spirits but to take the high road and rid herself of all this negativity. Now since Taylor has her Masters, she knows that when trolls go low, you go high, but thatâs only the right call 71.4% of the time, or when you arenât living in this alternate reality where nothing is real and everything is upside down. Unfortunately for Taylor, weâre in that alternate reality and even Ms. Cleo can sense whatâs coming because the cards donât lie.
And sure enough, as soon as Corinne gets Nick alone, she starts twisting the truth and painting a false narrative of Taylor as the aggressor and Corinne as the victim. Taylor tries ineffectively to reverse the damage Corinne has done with her fake news and alternative facts, but in this alternate upside down reality, alternative facts are the facts, and we know how this story ends. Instead of picking the girl who is at least a qualified and rationale choice for a wife, he picks the obnoxious train wreck whoâs only doing this for fame. Even though Iâve been a Taylor Hater since Day 1, this move is preposterous, and everyone involved knows it. Even Nick is blushing with embarrassment as he and Corinne awkwardly climb back into their boat leaving Taylor to reassess her life choices and the meaning of the world alone in the woods. Sounds familiar, doesnât it?
Did you notice . . .
** We donât get to see this until the credits, but Nickâs conversation with Alexis on the group date, centering around her legitimate fear of Nicolas Cage, is amazing. WHY are they showing me clips of Danielle L. telling Nick she maybe is falling for him, or of Danielle M. barely talking at all, and putting these Alexis nuggets of gold at the end of the episode!?! The producers and editors really fucked this season up by not giving her more screen time because she is so much funnier and better in all respects than anything that comes out of Corinneâs mouth. #JUSTICEFORALEXISÂ
âRealistically, I donât see Nick and Corinne getting married at the end of thisâ is the understatement of the century.Â
âIf I see a ghost Iâm gonna rebuke that thing in the name of Jesus.âÂ
Of course Danielle L. believes in and is afraid of ghosts. I actually LOLed when she said this date was going to be âa challengeâ for her.Â
âI had a great time. I did not squeal.â - Nick ....
The real loser in the Battle of the Bayou is Rachel, who is forced to spend an entire day alone in the house with Taylor and Corinne.
Nick is fucking terrible at being the Bachelor. I know Iâve gone on and on about how disingenuous he is, but itâs driving me nuts. Sure, every Bachelor has to say dumb shit like âFrom Bourbon Street to the Bayou, I canât imagine a better place to fall in love.â but literally every single time he addresses the girls and in most of his 1-on-1 conversations it feels like heâs reciting Bachelor Canon because he couldnât be bothered to think of anything real to say at any point along the way.
They say if you get close to the woods you can still hear Taylor whispering âbut I have a Masters ...â
Minority Report: Interestingly enough, and despite the fact that they donât appear to have any connection with Nick whatsoever, Jasmine and Jaimi are still around. I know this is cynical, but between Nickâs lazy approach and coziness with the producers, it feels like he agreed to make sure a few black girls stuck around long enough until the producers / Bachelor Nation could pick one they liked and move forward with the whole Blachelorette campaign. Now I know what youâre thinking: câmon Jen, thatâs racist. Well ... so is The Bachelor. ¯\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
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Season 21 -- Week 4
Is it just me or did this weekâs episode feel like the longest episode in the history of this franchise? I donât know, maybe Iâm just already over this season.
We open with Corinne sleeping. At this point Iâm pretty sure she has narcolepsy.
The other ladies are shit talking her, which is nothing new. Moving forward...itâs almost time for the rose ceremony. Nick approaches the girls and lets them know that heâs so glad theyâve allowed themselves to open up around him (except for the ones whose names he doesn't know -- Iâm looking at you, Whitney).
Taylor and Sarah ambush Corinne while sheâs sleeping and tell her that she needs to calm down with the bouncy castles and bouncy chest. âI am not privileged in any way, shape, or form,â says Corinne, a 24-year-old woman who has a live-in nanny.
Time for the rose ceremony! Everyone (including Chris Harrison) is discussing Corinne and how she needs to go home immediately. âGirls are haters,â says Corinne.Then she makes a fart sound with her mouth.
Christen explains that she feels that sheâs further along emotionally with Nick than some of the other girls. She is promptly eliminated. (As is Brittany, a girl who I only remember as the one who was really amped about sports). Alexis, a perfect person, gets a rose. Alexis, if youâre reading this, I would very much like for us to be friends.Â
When Corinne gets a rose, Josephineâs jaw drops. Taylor shit talks her in a talking head interview. âI thought Nick was looking for a mature, adult partner,â says Taylor, who is 23 years old.Â
Christen cries near a fountain. Brittany explains that she used to make fun of girls for crying on the show and then bursts into tears while waving her hands near her face so as not to let the tears fall.Â
Corinne licks a rose, grabs her chest, and almost falls out of her chair. She is absolutely the girl that you would find at a frat party asking people if they had seen her friend (who was not in attendance at said party in the first place).
Taylor is slowly, but surely, becoming this seasonâs second villain, much like Alex became the Lefou to Chadâs Gaston last season.Â
âPack your bags,â says Chris Harrison. The girls cheer. âYouâre going to Wisconsin,â he adds. There is less cheering.Â
The ladies arrive at a mansion in Wisconsin, a sentence I never thought Iâd write. Nickâs mom and dad give a talking head interview. His mom looks like Kate Gosselin at a rock concert. I am not entirely convinced Nickâs dad isn't just Nick wearing special effects makeup. âWe don't want to see you on the show again,â says Nickâs dad. âI agree,â says everyone in America.
Welcome to Waukesha, the place where the Slender Man stabbing took place three years ago. Danielle L. gets a solo date and Nick leaves the rest of the women in a park. They have nothing else to do so I assume theyâre going to plot against Corinne back at their Wisconsin mansion.
Nick and Danielle L. decorate the scariest cookies I have ever seen in my entire life. Danielleâs fake laugh is awkward so Nick kisses her to make her stop. That somehow makes everything even more awkward than it already was. Cool.
Oh my gosh! Itâs Nickâs ex in a coffee shop. She just happened to be there, already micâd. How weird! âThis is so trippy,â says Nick. âOh, so this bitch gets to be on the show?â screams Liz, from her couch.
Nick continues to tell Danielle L. about every girl heâs ever had sex with, which is a perfectly normal thing to do on your first date with someone. They finally end up at dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Wisconsin. Nick is wearing a jacket that matches the exact couch theyâre sitting on. He asks Danielle L. to talk about her flaws, which is also a perfectly normal thing to do on a first date. Danielle L.âs parents are divorced and she thinks that makes it harder for her to open up to people.Â
The next group date is announced. âSay cheese,â says Danielle M. Please, please tell me theyâre going to be making cheese pasta. Please. Raven gets the one-on-one date. She is excited that Corinne wonât be getting any private time with Nick this week.Â
Danielle L. gets a rose, unsurprisingly. Nick announces that he has a surprise for her, and they end up at a Chris Lane concert. I donât know who Chris Lane is. I am 100% sure that Danielle L. also doesn't know who he is, but she plays along while visions of engagement rings and messy tabloid breakups dance in her head.Â
Every contestant who isn't Danielle L. or Raven winds up on a group date at a farm. There are baby cows everywhere. I am crying. Most of the ladies are ready to get down and dirty even if they don't particularly love shoveling poop or milking cows. Of course, Corinne is not interested in taking part unless Raquel can do her chores for her.Â
Everyone is shoveling poop. Corinne says poop about 50 times and then declares that this is probably the worst date she's ever been on. I really, really donât believe that. She sits outside and cries while the rest of the women make poop-related jokes at her expense.Â
Corinne says âpoopieâ more than a few times. She has effectively made sure that everyone is aware of the fact that she has the mental and emotional maturity of a 6 year old.Â
Kristina mentions that sheâs had a rough life, but doesn't delve into any of that just yet. She kisses Nick for the first (?) time. Astrid is tired of talking about Corinne, but America isn't. Corinne makes a corn metaphor or something. I donât actually know whatâs going on.
Vanessa gives Nick a book made by her coworkers and students. She is 100% the winner. The end. We can stop the season right here and just go into the next season of The Bachelorette, starring Rachel, who is important and does not need to be wasting her time with Nick.Â
âIf I did anything, come to me,â says Corinne. Every girl immediately comes to her and then she throws a tantrum. She rattles off a list of people who have taken naps in their lives, including Michael Jordan and Abraham Lincoln. Iâm not sure what kind of comparison sheâs trying to make. I am officially done with her.Â
Kristina, in the surprise throw down of the season, calls Corinne out. âIâm not stupid. I choose to handle things head on and you hide away,â she says. I would very much like more screen time for Kristina.Â
âWeâre fighting for a fiancĂ©, not a...pickle,â says Corinne. Something tells me she was sick the day her fourth grade teacher taught the class about metaphors and similes.Â
This horrible date is finally over, and itâs time for Ravenâs one-on-one. She meets Nickâs little sister, Mia Hamm, as well as his parents. âWhat kind of name is Raven?â asks Nickâs father, as if he has never seen Thatâs So Raven.Â
Josephine is effectively becoming the Daniel to Corinneâs Chad. Iâm not sure why. Taylor H A T E S Corinne. She is going to drown her in the bath tub that sheâs pretending is a hot tub.Â
Nick and Raven end up at a roller-skating rink, which actually looks like a lot of fun. Raven and Bella are having a private conversation while Nick skates around in the background, hoping to impress his second, third, and fourth wives. âI really want another sister-in-law,â says Bella.Â
Anyway, Nick and Raven go to the Milwaukee Art Museum and have a very private dinner in a very large, very white room. Raven reveals that she is the inspiration behind Carrie Underwoodâs classic âBefore He Cheats.â She walked in on her boyfriend and some other girl having sex and then bashed his head in with the girlâs stiletto. I am officially obsessed with Raven. If there is any footage of this historic event, please send it my way. Nick gets a weird boner while Raven weaves her epic tale. She gets a rose.Â
Taylor expresses her desire to kick Corinne in the face. Corinne has similar feelings about Taylor. They are going to fight to the death, but not this week, as there are only about 15 minutes left.Â
Danielle L., who has a rose, pulls Nick aside anyway, which is a power move. Taylor does not appreciate any other women making power moves. She yanks Nick away from her and proceeds to lick his mouth.Â
Corinne and Josephine eat pigs in a blanket, drink wine, and talk shit (i.e. exactly my kind of party).Â
Corinne and Taylor finally get to throw down (they sit near a fire under a blanket). For the first time this season I am on Team Corinne, not because I like her, but because Taylor feels that she has the right to speak down to everyone in the house. Remember when she said she had no friends as a kid? I think weâve found the reason for that. Next week theyâre going to have a two-on-one date. Taylor will go home. Bye.
After the previews, perfect Alexis lets us know that she is afraid of Nicolas Cage and that she thinks Raven might be an alien. Please keep her, ABC. She makes me so very happy.
My top 5:
1. Vanessa
2. Danielle M.
3. Raven
4. Rachel
5. AlexisÂ
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Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?
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