#actually insane to go from having our own apartments and being able to whatever tf we want to living with our fucking parents

[francisforever2014]

just thought about having to do long distance over summer

[fanfic-inator795]

Once Rise sucks me back in on the seventh, I plan on drawing that Hippoworm wedding pic (sorry about the wait btw), so if you wanted to elaborate on that (either the mutant or Repo’s Seven AU version of their wedding) I would like to see if I could work any headcanons in, or at least have them in mind while I’m drawing?

Awww, thank you! ^v^ And no worries! I totally get kinda losing interest in a project for a bit cause of various things, and your art is totally worth the wait! ^v^

Heh, I’m not sure how many of these you can fit into a drawing, and it’s totally fine if you can’t fit them in, I know I’m gonna love your drawing no matter what! ^v^ 

But I’m gonna list out as much as I can just cause I love gushing about/thinking about fictional weddings (if only because a. I love my OTPs and I wanna see them happy and b. there’s a good chance I’ll never get married, and if I do it’ll most likely be a quick courthouse thing, so this is my outlet. Apologies in advance if this gets kinda long, lol). Anyway:

Mutant:

For obvious reasons, they couldn’t go all out, but they did as much as they could, having a small ceremony in Central Park at night with the reception being at an empty warehouse down at the docks (since their apartment would be WAYYYY too small, even if there’s less than a dozen people attending their wedding.)

The ELoM attend (mostly for the free food, but also because hey, it’s a sweet occasion and despite their villainy, they aren’t heartless.)

Meatsweats even offers to bring the cake, and Warren and Hypno agree since it’s the one dish he can’t put mutant meat in. Todd officiates so who knows if it’s completely legal but whatever, it’s a real wedding to them at least and that’s all that matters. They also make sure to record their wedding so they can watch it over and over

Warren was a bit of a groomzilla, because he loves Hypno so much and just wants everything to be right and perfect. He never takes it out on Hypno, thankfully, but everyone else kinda has to keep their distance until he’s able to chill tf out

Hypno makes all the flowers for the ceremony himself through his magic. LOTS of roses - mainly pink, purple and yellow with red at the tips (which, of course, symbolize friendship turning into love)

They walk down the aisle together, Warren on Hypno’s shoulder and the two of them holding hands (er, finger).

Hypno’s vows are so dang sappy and romantic that it takes Warren a few minutes to calm himself down enough to say his own vows. Warren also includes a bit of Maori in his vows as a nod to his husband’s culture. It’s a bit broken, but the message can still be understood and Hypno is still touched by the gesture

At the reception and after the first dance, Warren sings a love song to Hypno, wanting to give Hypno a little something extra since their dancing is really just Hypno swaying back and forth with Warren in his hands, and Hypno absolutely loves it, practically falling in love with him all over again on the spot.

Not that it matters really cause of the mutant situation, but Hypno takes Warren’s last name, hyphenating his own and becoming Mezmer-Ron “Hypnopotamus” Patel-Stone.

...idk if they’d actually do this but the idea is kinda funny to me so I’m mentioning it here: A couple weeks later, they stage another wedding and invite the Turtles to it, turning it into an elaborate trap.

“I can’t believe it. You would pretend to get married and fake a whole wedding just to try and capture us?!”

“Oh no no, the marriage is legitimate. We had our actually wedding at the start of the month.” “Technically this is our honeymoon.” *the two share a kiss* “We just thought that since we had all this leftover wedding stuff, well, two birds with one stone and all that.” “Just consider it a wedding present to us, since getting you four out of the way for good really would make my happiest day even happier!”

Of course the Turtles escape and Warren and Hypno are defeated, but they quickly shrug it off. It was worth a shot, and at least they still have each other.

Repo’s Seven AU:

While they may be human, they still can’t afford a HUGE ceremony, but it’s still a lovely one. They’re able to rent out a nice dining hall, at least.

Warren’s parents and work friends come, and while Ron’s able to invite friends as well, his mother and a couple of his relatives are unable to attend since they’re all the way in New Zealand. It’s a bit of an emotional hurtle that Ron has to get over, but at the very least his mother is able to send her love and they’re able to send her video and photos in return

I could see Ron wearing a sharp looking black suit with a purple tie while Warren wears a very handsome baby-blue suit with a white tie

Maori songs and vows are incorporated into the ceremony

Again, Warren takes a moment to sing a love song to Ron during the reception, because I love that idea too much for it to only exist in one universe

The two pretty much spent all they could on their wedding and couldn’t afford a honeymoon at all, but they didn’t mind. After the reception, they just went back to their apartment and spent the rest of the night together. Talking, cuddling, kissing, a bit more singing on Warren’s part since he got a bit tipsy lol, lots of expressions of love since it is their wedding night after all, and eventually falling asleep in each other’s arms. 

Both were admittedly disappointed that they couldn’t take a trip, but after such a perfect wedding night, they couldn’t really be disappointed anymore and just enjoyed their long weekend.

After the events of Repo’s Seven/they’ve become secret millionaires and after they’ve moved out to California and settled down some (Warren getting a new newscaster job, Ron getting a couple nice breaks as he continued working towards his dream career as a professional stage magician, getting a house, etc.) the two decide to have another wedding ceremony and are able to renew their vows in Ron’s New Zealand hometown.

Granted, even with all the money they have now, they don’t go insane with it or anything, but they are still able to treat themselves and have elements of their dream wedding

This includes doves being released when they have their kiss (Hypno’s idea), lots of gold incorporated into the decor (Warren’s idea), and an actual band for the reception (both of their ideas). Stuff like that, where it’s a bit of a splurge but it’s not like they’re burning money on stupid or unnecessary stuff

So yeah, these are just my ideas, and I’d honestly love to hear a fellow Hippoworm fan’s ideas, since I’m sure yours differ at least a little from mine, and like I said, I just love talking about fictional weddings ^v^

[katkonstant]

Harrow the Ninth: Act 1 Analysis - Local Bone Lady Newly Single and Ready for Mental Breakdown

I am so scared! so confused! and so turned on by the sepulchered mystery of Harrow the Ninth’s Act 1! And because it’s quarantine time, it’s organizational mapping and near-obsessive theorizing time baby. 

I’ll warn you: this got LONG. 

Spoilers galore. 

This post is to try and organize my own thoughts as well as preserve in time that I don’t know shit when HTN finally hits. All to answer the big question: What in the necro-hell is going on? Here’s what we know as fact:

Gideon the Ninth was about Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter and Badass Emo Princess, and her not hugged enough but grinning through the pain sword lesbian cavalier, Gideon Nav. A catalogue of their romp of death in Canaan House.

Harrow the Ninth is currently cataloguing two things: (1) Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter and Mentally Unstable Concussion, and her cavalier, Ortus Nigenad and their guided tour of Canaan House. AND (2) Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Baby Lyctor, aboard His Imperial and Unending Magic School Bus.

Similar to @Siadea‘s wonderful post (x), I am all aboard the Timeline Fuckery Theory (TFT). Operating under the TFT, I will refer to our cast of characters accordingly. To summarize the TFT, the major point is thus:

In the prologue of Harrow, I think the Harrowhark of Gideon the Ninth (hereby Harrow1) settled in, swan dove into the River, somehow backstroked in time to when she woke up on the Emperor’s ship, and then she resurfaced (with Ianthe’s help), stripped of all memory&detection involving Keyword:Gideon. 

Gideon  [ORTUS]

It appears Harrow1 has programmed Harrow2 with a find+replace formula for ‘Gideon’ and replacing it with ‘Ortus’ on a pure, sensory input level. I have NO idea how she (or something else) did this. Prologue Ianthe Tridentarius telling Harrow, “I know what you’ve done, and I know how to reverse it” makes me think Harrow did this to herself. 

It scrubs the past as well as the present. Proof - (1) When Harrow2 gets the Emperor’s invitation to Canaan House, we gather from context that Ortus asks her if she’s considered someone else. Only we read it as Ortus saying, “have you considered ORTUS NIGENAD?” AND THEN THE SCENE STARTS OVER, but rewound to moments before. Like a glitch in the Matrix; (2) The Emperor’s lips distort when he says “Ortus Nigenad did not die for nothing” and is confused when Harrow2 says it back to him; (3) When the Emperor later says the name of the third Lyctor ‘Ortus’, Harrow2 starts bleeding from the ears and passes out.....We’ll get to him in a sec.

The three syllables Prologue Harrow dies on: Could be ‘Gideon’ and the mark of her successful mindflaying from recognizing the word. Could also be ‘Alecto’. Hell, could even be ‘Nigenad’. Inconclusive.

The Chilly Weirdo Harrow Has the Hots For (alternatively, who tf are you?)

The Lady of the Locked Tomb is appearing and disappearing in Harrow2′s mind, both at her recall of Canaan House and in her (current?) stay with the Emperor. 

She has Griddle’s Eyes. As we’re familiar with the lyctors, we know that when their cavs are “eaten”, necromancers’ eyes change to their cavalier’s colors. OR the Lady has simply taken on Griddle’s eyes to put Harrow2 at ease.

She has the voice of who Harrow2 needs to hear. We’ve heard the Lady sound like Pelleamena (Harrow’s mommy dearest), Crux, and Aiglamene (Captain of the Ninth guard). Both of these are people who loved Harrow1. 

These characteristics ^ lead me to believe that the Lady can see Harrow1′s obsession with her and is either Manipulating Harrow2 by manufacturing her voice and eyes, or is genuinely trying to love Harrow2 in return. (She may have been present for Harrow’s entire life. See my Ch.3**)

What does she want from Harrow2? --> I think, without support or proof, that the Lady wants to Rise Again (as villains entombed are wont to do). As she doesn’t have a corporeal form, she’ll likely need Harrow’s help. Underlying idea being: the Emperor dies when his Unholy Other Half returns. It would be a little contrived to have the “beautiful lady revealed to be the big bad” device be the GTN and the HTN twist but we’ll see. 

Interesting point: The Lady doesn’t like His Holy Frumpyness & Co. “Lie. Lie now.” She’s either protecting herself further down the line, or the Lady thinks that Mercy would have harmed Harrow2 because of this info. It’s possible this is the same interest if she needs Harrow’s help to free her. 

Now Let’s Talk about Swords

AKA the sexiest part of this dissertation. 

Harrow the Concussed is carrying Griddle’s Two hander. Not just any two hander. It is in fact and distinctly, Griddle’s sword. This is supported by (1) Harrow2 was given the sword by the Emperor “as a gesture” implying he knows Griddle and the sword’s significance to Harrow1. And (2) The severe physical reactions Harrow2 has to the sword’s loathing. In GTN Harrow1 mentioned to Griddle, “I have always felt like that sword hates me”. (this in and of itself is mystifying but I’ve got bigger occult fish to fry)

Either Griddle’s Sword or Cytherea is alive. The fade to black of Harrow rekilling Cytherea is a mystery within a Christmas light tangle of other mysteries and I’m not fucking with it. BUT. There are Five lifeforms aboard the ship that traversed the River: Mercymorn, the Emperor, Ianthe, and Harrow. Harrow2 tells us that the Body/the Lady isn’t in sight. That leaves inanimate objects: Cytherea’s body, or the two hander that hates Harrow. 

Harrow2, the Concussed, is not carrying a rapier. Only in the Prologue does Harrow have a rapier on her hip. Ortus the Alternate cav carries a rapier. See the next theory for why this is significant. 

The Events of Canaan House Two are Not Real. 

These are my weakest theories. They’re all weak, but these ones are chief weaklings. The Time Fuckery Theory’s biggest snag is ‘Canaan House: What’s Real?’, and I think only the events with Harrow2 on the ship with Ianthe are actually occurring. 

I think someone is soul/spirit guiding Harrow2 on this Canaan House Round II to show her something. Proof: (1) The repeated “Is this how it happened?”/”This isn’t how it happened.” Clearly indicate that this IS a repeated experience for Harrow, and not the original. (2) Ortus glitches a bit, looks at Harrow2 and says “You never did have much of an imagination.” Someone who knows Harrow1 made him say this. I think. (3) If we count who possibly could spirit-guide Harrow2 on this quest, we have to find the denominator candidates: the only people who knew Harrow1 at Canaan House and at Drearburh are Gideon, and Harrow1 herself. And - if the Lady really has been following her around, the Lady of the Locked Tomb. (4) This theory cannot account for the strobing red egg hallucinations on paper Harrow2 is being delivered. 

Second explanation: it’s all happening in Harrow’s head, and Harrow1 is the spirit guide. In support: There is a surprising amount of explanation and character depth from Ortus. I believe Harrow1 knows Ortus enough from childhood to be able to project him onto Harrow2 this way. 

Third explanation: Because the people Harrow2 is interacting with are all dead, it’s microscopically possible Harrow2 is tripping some soul-shrooms in the River and having the souls of Canaan House teach her something via flashback. In support: Prologue Harrow says five pairs of eyes close to submerge into the River, but hers would not open again. Incredibly vague, but could mean she was going to be spending a significant amount of time in the River. This theory is unlikely, as Harrow is a bone adept. Souls are squishy and freaky to her. Unlikely also from what we saw of the River. Ie; the River is an inhospitable predator which ripped Cassiopea apart and scares the hell out of Mercy and the Emperor. Not an ideal destination spirit-walk vacation spot. Plus, the only clear reasoning we get from Harrow about why she’s descending into the River is because she knows she’s going to die (although she tells Ianthe she has no plans to die)

Things to Note: (1) Teacher immediately spills the Sleeper beans, lets the laboratory cat out of the bag, and unmasks the key mystery. I think who/whatever is guiding Harrow2 around makes this happen legitimately just to save time. (2) Harrow2 is learning things from Ortus, Teacher, Abigail Pent, etc that Harrow1 and Gideon didn’t know.

If the Events of Canaan House Round Two ARE Real. 

If the Great Value Canaan House timeline is actually happening and are physically influential, the implications are fucking vast, because now we’re considering the multiverse of how time works. I am not about to get into that shit because I do (contrary to this post’s existence’s suggestion) have a life, and I don’t feel like rededicating it to the theory of relativity and time dilation. 

The biggest question though would then become: How would events have unfolded if Ortus had gone to Canaan House and not Griddle? The only conclusion to that is: everyone would be dead and Cytherea would be alive. Which does not jive with the happenings of Emperor Frizzle’s Magic NecroBus and Harrow2 (many are alive, and Cytherea is dead). It could be that Cytherea is, in fact, alive and needs re-killing via the Act 1 end of Harrow2 stabbing her. I can’t say.

What does freak me out about Canaan2 is Harrow herself. 

Not her insanity, mind you, but the fact that Harrow2 is hilarious. She’s always been acidic and funny, but Harrow2 is crude and funny. This is very, very bad. She makes a remark about the term ‘bone frenzy’ that Ortus says only someone who’d prefer ‘prurient magazines’ would think of. Can anyone guess who might be more incline than Harrow to prefer prurient magazines? Say a messy sword necrolesbian with a subscription to Frontline Titties of the Fifth?

Harrow2 is also not chasing Palamedes Sextus around the grounds of Canaan House in a near-suicidal race to Lyctorhood. 

Not only is she not working herself to death, but Harrow is doing the opposite: she is socializing. With the Fourth and Fifth! She’s caustic and rude while she does it, but she’s still spending time around them for whatever reason. 

All these behaviors are Griddle behaviors and they make. me. nervous. 

Is Harrow2 Actually a Lyctor?

Harrow’s Dramatis Personae section lists ‘Harrowhark the First’ with a huge and glaring and delightful redacted section below her name. If someone truly had the time, I’m sure they could sleuth out the layers of the censorship and find out what it says. However, it’s plain that the underlying text does NOT say ‘Gideon Nav, her cavalier’. So we’re left with more questions - who or what died to give Harrow her power? .....As a point of interest, it looks like the original writing has been overlaid with even more text. 

Ortus’ eyes were black - the same shade as Harrow’s. Harrow2 wouldn’t be able to confirm or deny that she had successfully eaten her Canaan Redux cavalier.

In the prologue, Harrow1 calls herself “half a lychtor” implying that either 1) she’s simply not trained, or 2) something went wrong in her lyctorhood creation

And then we have this weird Chapter 3** internal narration of Harrow2′s childhood without Griddle. And she’s.. absolutely bananas. She grows up a ghoulish, lonely, nut job. But she still says she had committed the indelible sin halfway. That she hadn’t been able to choke him (Ortus) down. 

Her manifestations of power don’t add up. First, Ianthe (undisputedly a lyctor) shoves Babs’ knife through her hand and has no problem with it, or healing right up. Harrow2... isn’t so lucky. Prologue Harrow is also in the process of dying. Conversely, while in the River, Mercymorn dismisses the idea that Harrow2 could possibly be using theorems and freaks out when she discovers Harrow can. Conclusion being: Either Harrow2 is incredible weak, or incredibly powerful but untrained, or she is Something Else Entirely*.

Harrow2 isn’t experiencing lyctoral indigestion. Cytherea tells Ianthe right after she eats Babs, “I can see him fighting you. Mine [meaning her cav, Loveday] came willingly, and it still hurt for a century.” We know Babs still fights Ianthe in HTN, as her eyes are usually swapping shades. It’s not something Harrow1 or 2 mentions as a problem. 

* My working theory is that Harrow2 is kind of lyctor-ish and being protected by the Lady, the Sword, or Griddle (who might be incarnate in either).  

Side note: It might be too far into the weeds to wonder about but I want to know what pregnancy would do to a lyctor. If we follow the Die Young but Beautiful and Powerful practices of the Seventh House, Dulcinea’s family uses their crappy genes as internal combustion engines: cells dying within them allow a perpetual source of thanergy. On the opposite end of that same theory, a necromancer constantly producing thalergy (life and cell growth) should therefore be significantly weaker, right?

This^ is only relevant when considering the other theory:

Papa Gideon [ORTUS] knocked up a fellow Lyctor. 

While it would explain the creepy “egg” texts Harrow2 is hallucinating, as well as why Cytherea spared Griddle multiple times at Canaan house, I doubt this theory for a few reasons: 

Of the available lyctors able to carry children, there is Cassiopeia, Anastasia, Mercymorn, and Cytherea. We only know Mercy and Cytherea.

It’s strongly implied that Cytherea and her cav, Loveday, were in a relationship. Since Loveday is technically still inside of Cytherea, I doubt she wanted to date around. 

The Emperor strives to present the Lyctors as siblings. This a) props himself up as the holy and imperial papa bear to guide and govern them, b) perpetuates the eternal and indestructible bond of siblings, and c) kills any idea of inter-lyctoral hooking up. Can you even imagine the destruction a Jersey Shore: Unholy Power bar fight would wreak?  

I’m not fully convinced Lyctor Gideon [ORTUS] is Griddle’s father. While it would make sense in terms of stature (Lyctor G/O is a single rippling muscle and Griddle’s biceps are... noteworthy), Silas Octakiseron told Gideon that her mother had hair just the same shade as her (source: Sister Glaurica’s toiling soul). Could be that Griddle’s Mom’s soul screaming “Gideon!” was her calling for the Lyctor, her brother/other relation. 

However, I DO believe Griddle is... more than. She wasn’t killed by the nerve gas, and Harrow2′s eyes are not Griddle Gold. 

As a second side note, Lyctor Gideon [ORTUS]’s cav was named Pyrrha Dve. This is exciting to me because of my slutty fandom tendencies and because a name like ‘Pyrrha’ begs for Tragic Backstory, and I’m here for it. Also, I want more interaction with Augustine as he’s who Ianthe says “won’t come save” Harrow. Eye emoji.  

Alecto

As far as I’m aware, there are no solid leads on who or what Alecto the Ninth is. Casting about in wildly unwarranted guesswork, I can throw a few baseless theories out; 

Alecto is Griddle’s truer name (possibly birth name or even what she’s called if when she is brought back);

Alecto is the Lady of the Locked Tomb; 

Alecto is the Emperor’s Cav. In Harrow’s ‘Dramatis Personae’, The Emperor is listed as well as his lyctors and their cavaliers. Except, the Emperor does not have a deceased cav. He has “A.L.”, his guardian. A.L. =Alecto, mayhaps?; 

Alecto, a combination of (2) and (3). The Lady is supposedly the Emperor’s death and who he could not kill twice. If she were his ‘guardian’ she would be a) more powerful than him, and b) someone he was emotionally attached to which he couldn’t bring himself to kill again. 

Things I Cannot and Refuse to Account For:

Ianthe Tridetarius became a sewn tongue as a favor for Harrow1. Wtf. 

Ortus Nigenad’s self-insert cavalier epic of Matthias Nonius. Wtf. 

**The entirety of Chapter 3 is either true or it’s not. Wtf was that shit.  

The psychotic “You lied”/”Egg” texts Harrow2 is hallucinating. Wtf.

This is.... all probably incorrect, and I applaud you if you made it this far. I could keep going, the material of Act 1 is that dense. But in answer to The Great Big WTF that is Harrow Act 1 - my theory is simple. 

TLDR; I think Harrowhark Nonagesimus is tearing down the laws of the universe to bring back Gideon the Ninth.

[itsswimmingtragedycollection]

YouTubers are shitty people

First of all, deal with it, accept it, let it sink in so we can fix it like we should have done a long time ago. The more I get to know and learn about that community, the more I am convinced it’s specifically appealing to extraordinarily self absorbed, self important, egocentric, entitled people, and that’s no coincidence. I couldn’t put my finger on it for a long time, because it’s not until you come across a *few* actually decent youtubers that it becomes obvious. Reminds me of older generations and casual homophobia. They never see it as an issue because in their circles, everyone is doing it and it’s very well accepted if not even demanded.  The main reason I chose to call them collectively shitty instead of naming names, even though not *literally* every single one of them is shitty, is because they all (at least the very successful ones) seem to share certain character traits. But before we get into that, let’s discuss yt as a platform first. The best thing about it is also the absolute worst thing about it: ANYONE CAN DO IT. Politicians talk about farming as a low skill job, but that ain’t it, being a youtuber is. If you know how to film a video and have internet access, congratulations! Because that’s literally it. Now of course, some creators will put more time and effort and their additional skills into their work, but even if turning your camera on is all you got, it’s not an obstacle whatsoever. Just look at Tana Mongeau real quick. She sits in front of the camera, tells a whatever story, that could easily fit into THREE sentences, for half an hour, with minimal editing and bam! Hands down one of the laziest ‘content creators’ to this day, but still, in the yt world, she’s the 1%.  Other than Tana Mongeau, the more important problems with ‘anyone can do it’ are the factors determining who becomes the fairest of them all (which is what enabled her rise to fame in the first place). This is where we get political, but let’s get real, spilling the tea about who said what about who is so last year, in 2019 we’re looking at the bigger picture. The bigger picture would be, where we are as a society, which is not a good place at all. The situation is, a handful of people~the famous 1%~are fucking us in the ass for profit and effectively getting away with it.(Not really news) They are able to accomplish that with three main mechanisms: 1. Keeping people busy and stressed. If you have to get up early, work all day for shit pay and worry about paying your bills, debts, feeding yourself, keeping that job...you don’t actually have the time for much else. An average worker doesn’t have hours or days to spend on in-depth researching of socioeconomic trends, they’re mostly just going to rely on quick news they get from the media, which, as we all know, does not paint an accurate picture, to say the least. That middle class persona, who has a decent job, full 8 hours of sleep and some free time, with the rising rates of poverty and homelessness, is becoming a rarer and rarer occurrence.  2. Isolation. There’s this whole individualism thing that we got going on. You know the ‘We are all individuals for ourselves!! If you’re successful, it’s only because of YOU personally and if you’re a failure it’s because you’re stupid and unworthy!! Everyone is competition!! Asking for help is shameful!’ And also, belonging to a group (American, white, black, gay, straight, man, woman, trans...) is a part of our identity, but it’s almost like, identifying with a certain group means picking a side. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to know where you come from and to find a place where you belong, but individualism has us thinking that the differences between these groups are somehow irreconcilable, when, in reality, we have a lot more in common than not.  3. Providing you with an enemy. We all see this every day. ‘Mexicans are stealing your jobs! Immigrants are the biggest threat to national security! North Korea is our number one enemy!’ You know, usually people with virtually no political or decision making power in the country get to take all the blame. And if you’re an average person, stressed, depressed and isolated, and someone points a finger and says ‘This is the reason your life sucks’ instead of saying ‘Hold up, that’s not true, you’re the reason my life sucks, get that dusty dick out of my ass and let me take a break’ you end up throwing stones at people getting fucked just as hard as you.  (I would also like to point out that a big part of keeping this in place is fucking up the education system and rewriting history in a way that favors the existing situation so one feels less inclined to question it form an early age.) Now let’s get back to youtubers. The reason I wrote this long ass introduction is because youtubers come from the society and are very much a part of it. They don’t fall from the sky straight into our hearts, even though it might feel that way sometimes. In fact they are a product of it, because who thrives and who perishes is decided by the said society. People tend to gather around content that resonates with them, so just like a Trump supporter is very unlikely to endorse AOC, and vice-versa, we support youtubers that align with/represent our own beliefs and values the most. So upon taking into consideration the very shitty values and beliefs that we get shoved down our throats on a daily basis, it is only reasonable to assume they take part in deciding which youtuber we like and want to see succeed. And if we take a closer look at youtube’s it list, we will notice some pretty worrying similarities. First of all it’s rare to find one without a questionable past (and present) that ranges from racism, sexism, misogyny to bullying, lying, scamming...It’s so common that it’s not even that big of a deal anymore, it’s just a thing that happens. Kinda like apology videos. Who doesn’t have at least one these days? It’s hard for me to believe that out of hundreds of thousands of youtubers out there, we somehow accidentally cherry picked, almost exclusively, only the ‘problematic’ ones. And they are all ‘problematic’ in the same way.   Second of all, they are very self important. Also coincidentally.  When you make tons of money and have worldwide fame at a young age, and most of them are young, you start to think that you *must* be special. God must have put his finger on your forehead and made you better than everyone for all of that to happen to you. Sadly, this is encouraged by fans too. Even more so since today being rich is *the shit*  and the ultimate end game, so people will look up to them, admire them, idolize them etc. This leaves a very strong ‘you can’t sit with us’ aftertaste and frequent outbursts of entitlement whether it’s inability to take criticism, coming after regular people, letting fans tear them apart or  refusing to be held accountable for your bs and blaming other people. I think James Charles is an excellent example of an entitled youtuber. Even Gabbie Hanna handles criticism better. And he also categorically refuses to be responsible for any damage he does. Whenever a sister scandal occurs it’s either a) not his fault or b) he was a different person back then and has since done some personal growth so we can’t hold it against him.  Next, we gotta talk about that youtuber ego. We get to experience it any and every time someone asks ‘Why tf are youtubers getting payed insane amounts of money?’ They are a very easily triggered bunch and I can’t count all the times I heard ‘YOUTUBE IS A JOB NO ONE WORKS FOR FREE SO NEITHER DO WE JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE GET WELL SOON’  Here’s the thing though, no one disputes the fact that it’s a job. What is unfathomable to outsiders is, why would someone give a person five figures for saying ‘Buy this shit it’s really cool’ on camera? How is that possibly worth that much? Fact of the matter is, it’s not, but saying ‘By this shit it’s really cool’ to a shit ton of your followers, is. The youtuber ego is what happens when you can’t say ‘We earn money by exploiting the trust our fans put in us’ but you still have to justify your position so you say ‘First of all. We’re super special, original and unique. This is a very hard job, we work our asses of, if it was easy, everyone would do it.’ And then you star believing it. But more importantly, your followers believe it too. At the beginning I pointed out that anyone can to it because it’s a low skill job, so if you wondered why everyone is not doing it, it’s precisely because we’re constantly being told the opposite, and I gotta say, I don’t see anyone questioning it. Even though it’s not even remotely true. Take a look at any group, beauty gurus, entertainers, commentary channels, drama channels, whatever you choose, if you’ve seen five creators in a bunch, you’ve pretty much seen them all, not a whole lot of originality going on there. In fact, this ‘uniqueness’ is nothing more than some basic branding. Drinking coffee is so Emma Chamberlain, conspiracy theories are so Shane Dawson, racism is so Pewdiepie and so on.  Pewdiepie actually brings me to my last point. He illustrates what I want to say so incredibly well. As we all know, he’s been called out, multiple times, for blatant racism, antisemitism, sexism, overall regressive, aggressive, harmful standpoints. And absolutely nothing happened, he’s doing just fine. Why is that? Because, firstly, he never gets called out by his own fans. Like I said, we pick who we support, which means his fans gathered around him because they liked and shared his viewpoints in the first place. Not only did they not call him out, they defended him. How many times is Pewdiepie going to have a sister scandal and get away with it? As many as he wants. He’s never gonna be cancelled because the only people who have the power to do that, love his racism. He’s virtually untouchable. It makes sense why he acts like he’s got God by the balls. And, coincidentally, he is the most followed youtuber in history of youtubers with 80 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS. All the other shitty youtubers ™ stay relevant and slaying for the exact same reason. Their fans like them because they are shitty, it’s a vicious circle. Not ony are shitty youtubers ™ a reflection of how much we need to do better, they are to an extent preventing that from happening. ‘Such, such and such bad behaviour made this person rich and famous, so it must be good, and every time I watch their videos I am surrounded by people who think the same, which in turn, encourages me to glorify it even more.’  The whole reason I wrote this, is because we really, really, need to do better. I have seen people calling them out on things I mention here, but so far I never saw anyone connecting the epidemic of shitty youtubers ™  to our current circumstances as a society, which is definitely there. So instead of wrapping ourselves into the comfortable blanket of ‘as long as a lot of other people are thinking like me, everything is fine’ we should start asking for more from ourselves and others.  Pass it on, spread the good word.