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demonboyhalo · 4 years ago

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The Technoblade Conspiracy

Even before Dream claimed there was a traitor in Pogtopia, there's been a lot of...suspicious activities happening in Techno’s streams. Others on the SMP are already distrustful of him, and the fans are as well, but I believe that we’re focusing on the wrong thing here. This thread isn’t quite a traitor theory, but rather a dive into what Techno has been hiding at large. I can say with utter confidence that the extent of what Technoblade has accomplished on the Dream SMP is being greatly underestimated.

I recommend looking at the sus Techno moments thread by @piggytechnobarb on Twitter for some of the stream clips I'll be discussing.

This is going to be fairly in depth, so the rest is under the cut!

1. There is another room under what Techno calls his "secret base"

I won't talk too much on how strange his choice of "secret base" is for now, but please do keep in mind how out of character it is for man-who-tracked-down-Squid's-college to settle for a home base so unprotected and close to Pogtopia's very well known location.

So, for some reason, there is Polished Blackstone Brick under the floor of Techno’s wall. He accidentally reveals this when a donation asks him to mine the exposed redstone in his wall, acts a bit strange for a good 15 seconds, and then never mentions it again. Sight of the brick prompts him to silently zoom in, fill the hole with stone (not cobble), and say "Don't ask questions".

This is only so strange because there's no real reason for him to have stone at the ready, or any blackstone brick at all. Techno is NOT a builder, and if a creeper blew up down there, he'd fill it with cobble and not give a shit about aesthetics. He doesn't use smooth stone in his base, and has never built with blackstone on stream. Not only are they unusual items for him to have, it's unusual for him to make a point to not have the viewers question it. Yes, it could just be Techno being dramatic, but why did he go silent for a straight 5 seconds at the sight of the blackstone?

Considering who he is as a player, it is completely in character for Techno to build a second base. The lake he lives under is incredibly near Wilbur and Tommy, and he's well aware that all an enemy has to do is watch his stream to infiltrate his base. Techno goes to the extremes when they aren't even required (Ex. His insane skill in party games, beating Skeppy in as niche of a game as Grinch Simulator, etc.) So I don't think it's a stretch for him to go the extra mile, and hide a bunker/resources/extra armour and what have you from even his own viewers.

2. The overpowered illegal villager farm

For those of you who don't watch Ponk, he recently stumbled across an area that is supposedly banned on the Dream SMP - a villager farm. In the clip, his voice is astonished and his confusion is palpable, and he goes so far as to say "It's a full scale arms race" because of how many good trades there are. The location is laced with traps, though he doesn't mention what exactly he had to get past to find the farm. Ponk's reaction is far too genuine for the farm to be his, but then that begs the question, whose farm is it?

...Who is willing to risk Dream's wrath by breaking his rules? Or, alternatively, who is capable of making a secret pact with the server owner to allow such a farm? The answer could only be Technoblade.

Ponk says it himself in the video, he does not have the time to build this. Whoever made this had to have carved out a hidden cavern, lead at least 14 villagers down there, breed them until only the ones with the best trades were left - all off stream, and without another player catching them. Whoever made this had to spend hours of work with no content to show for it, and who do we know has been grinding for DAYS on the server? Technoblade. Not to mention, all the villagers are numbered, and all but one are fletchers.

The signs above each stall are so important, because going so far back as SMP Earth, Techno has a history of dispassionately breeding mobs to his benefit, and then killing any mob not performing well enough. For example, his horse farm: where the horses stay in numbered rooms rather than all being named. The villagers in the screenshot above are numbered rather than named.

Wanna hear a fun fact about Fletchers? They're well known for accepting sticks for emeralds, but will also take string for that trade as well! And guess who has been seen waiting at the spider spawner collecting string by Sapnap, Awesamdude, Quackity, and multiple other players? Technoblade.

Technoblade also has every reason to be breeding villagers for special arrows and crossbows, because he's said on stream that he wants to try spamming multi-shot crossbows in combat to take out huge groups of enemies. He said at a later point that he had run into trouble with getting multiple crossbows with the enchantment multi-shot, and implied it wasn't going to happen. But has he ever been the kind of person to be stopped by something being challenging? Absolutely not.

Think of literally anything Techno has done - his Bedwars win streak, beating MC with a steering wheel, the Potato Wars - what I believe is really happening, is that Techno is lying about how equipped he is so that no matter what side he ends up fighting for, his enemies will have no true way of knowing how powerful he is.

3. Dream might be his secret ally (AKA The Glowstone Incident)

This brings us to a...confusing moment in Techno's stream that sparked a lot of questions. It pointed me towards 2 different, but not necessarily exclusive, theories.

The Glowstone Incident precedes as follows: Techno needs glowstone but can't find any in his chests, so he puts on his BRB screen. He says that he is "hacking" and asking Dream to use game mode to give him the glowstone. Typing can be heard, and then multiple chests are opened. Techno takes off the BRB screen and he now has three stacks of glowstone dust. This was absolutely bewildering to watch live, and was one of the most blatantly suspicious things he has done in front of his viewers. (You can find the exact clip on the thread I mentioned, it is...so weird)

Theory A: Though unlikely, Techno could be Dream's secret ally, and Dream really did use creative to give him the stacks. Or, he potentially gave Techno OP permissions so that he could get the glow stone (and any other materials he’d want) himself.

We all remember their meet up on that ocean hill, where Dream gives Techno golden apples, diamonds, and other such materials for the battle against Schlatt. It seemed to be a one-off gift that was more for Wilbur's benefit than Techno's, but there's potentially the chance that Dream saw an alliance to Techno to be more beneficial than working only with Wilbur, and contacted him off screen to make deals.

Going back to the Village Farm - for a player to get the exact enchantment they want for a reasonable price, breeding them is the most logical option. It's the route Techno would take regardless of Dream's rules on the SMP too, as he tends to show little regard for what the creators want (Ex. Taking over SMP Earth, exploiting Hypixel Skyblock, etc.) However, it could also be possible that Dream gave Techno permission to do this, and so the reason Techno is keeping the farm secret is so that the viewers don't know of their alliance.

Theory B: Techno has hidden resources in his base that he doesn't want anyone to have even the chance to see. Whether it is to hide from enemies watching (or to hide from Dream in particular because Techno knows he's breaking the server's rules) there are secret chests that Techno has with extra resources that can be heard loud and clear in the video.

They could be simple ones hidden in the walls...or in the blackstone brick base hidden under his floors. Saying he’s “hacking” rather than the reality of him just checking all his chests again is on par for Techno’s usual dramatics - yet we can clearly see that there’s no glowstone in any of his chests. This is why I believe he got the glowstone from some unseen resource. With the BRB screen on, Techno prevents his viewers from actually seeing how he got the 3 stacks of powder, and it keeps the location of his hidden materials safe.

Personally, I feel theory B is more likely, but there have been moments where Dream has acted Sus so...be on the lookout y'all.

4. Techno not participating in MCC

For those of you who watched Techno during the Potato War, many will remember that MCC 6 had a stressful undertone. Because of how much effort and time Techno had been putting into farming on Skyblock, taking a break to compete in another event was distracting. It ultimately led to him losing time that, from his perspective, would have been better off spent farming.

Techno might not be as blatantly grinding on the Dream SMP as he did with the Potato War, but it's undeniable that other streamers have seen him online for stretches of 10 hours and more. When asked about why he wasn't participating in the next MCC, Techno didn't say he was taking a break - something that'd be entirely reasonable and honestly well earned - he said "I don't want to."

It could be awkward phrasing by virtue of Techno's personality, but what I think is more likely is that Techno has learned from his past mistakes. Rather than "waste" time competing in MCC, Techno might be planning to use the time everyone on the SMP is gone to his advantage. He could sneak into enemy territory, set traps in certain areas, or maybe even perform some illegal acts that Dream would never allow. Either way, I suspect Techno has something planned for the 14th.

Honorable Mentions:

Dream poking fun, or blatantly covering for Techno?

This clip of Techno's secret Something??? next to the spider spawner, undeniably suspicious

Techno had around 5 stacks of wool in his inventory at one point - he absolutely could be bed mining the nether not only so that he has multiple sets of OP netherite, but possibly because he's preparing the gear for another person (cough cough Philza) or people

Techno's collection of ghast tears. He's studied Crystal PvP and made plenty of 2b2t references in the past (Look up FitMC for more info on those things) So it could be possible that Techno is hiding stacks of end crystals so that he can decimate multiple players in an instant

All in all, I'm 100% convinced that Techno has some serious plans hidden behind the scenes that he's not going to share until it's time for him to unleash utter chaos. We know he's keeping secrets, we know he's had the time, and we know he's capable.

I hope you all enjoyed my research and feel terrified of what Techno could possibly have done off camera :D

If anyone else has different theories, corrections to what I wrote, or other moments where Pink was Sus, feel free to comment!

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saltys-writings · 5 years ago

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Can you do a oneus reaction please? being jealous when they see a boy near you? ♡

[Onewe version]

Of course~

~~~

[Oneus] Being jealous when another boy is near you

Ravn:

he usually trusts you a lot and doesn’t mind you being around other guys

so why he’s suddenly feeling insanely jealous whenever you’re near your new neighbour he doesn’t know

but it really makes him lose his mind

maybe it’s because your neighbour clearly has a crush on you

maybe it’s because he seems to take you to fancy restaurants and to see the kinds of movies you never really watch with Youngjo

which would be fine

if he knew that he only sees you in a friendly light

and he really can’t hide his feelings from you for long

and aside from the fact that he seems to put his arms around you protectively a lot more nowadays when you’re out together, it also shows when you’re talking to him

so when he starts glaring out the window passive-aggressively again when you’re telling him about your next playdate with your neighbour, you decide to say something

“Are you jealous?”

“…no?”

“You’re jealous, I know it!”

you pinch his cheek

with a mixture of annoyance and adoration he now glares at you, but he lets you have your way

“Ayy, my baby is jealous…” you continue teasing him, until he has enough

he grabs your wrists and pulls you into his lap, giving you a rough kiss

“I’m not jealous, but I just really don’t want you to go out with other guys who very obviously have feelings for you, okay?”

“That’s called jealousy…” you talk back

your cheekiness results in you two play-fighting and him making it very clear that you’re his in various ways

though in the end you realize it’s probably for the better if you don’t keep playing with his emotions like this, and you talk it out like proper adults

Seoho:

he tends to get jealous a lot

though it’s rarely the intense kind of jealousy

especially with that one guy from your workplace who’s being really friendly with you it’s getting bad though

you’re oblivious to the fact that he has a crush on you, after all you only have eyes for your boyfriend Seoho

but Seoho notices it

so whenever he’s near the other guy he shoots daggers at him, and glares at him while he’s just trying to have a normal conversation with you

you’re honestly getting real tired of his shit, but you can’t be mad at him when he’s all over you as soon as you’re home

though after a few days it starts feeling like he has to prove something to you, so you confront him about it

he beats around the bush at first, but soon he admits that he’s super jealous because that work-friend of yours is trying to steal you away

you think he’s overreacting at first and creating problems where there aren’t any

but not long after you fight about this, the guy from work actually asks you out on a date

you turn him down as politely as you can

you make sure to rush home that day and apologize to Seoho for not believing him

contrary to how you expected him to react, he forgives you easily

however, that evening he makes sure you know that you’re his and nobody else’s

Leedo:

you’d think he isn’t the type to get jealous when you’re hanging out with guys he doesn’t know

but boi are you wrong

he’s totally fine with you being around your friends, whether they’re male or female

but when it comes to someone he doesn’t know he’s wary

he doesn’t distrust you, but he thinks it’s better to be safe than sorry

he endures it silently though

as soon as he can talk to you alone, he starts questioning you on who those guys are and what your relation with them is

that’s when you know he’s secretly jealous

and instead of explaining, you tease him about it

upon being confronted about his jealousy, he blushes and doesn’t know what to do

he doesn’t want to be jealous either, but he just can’t help it

you give in in the end and assure him that those guys aren’t a threat to him at all

and he believes you, so it isn’t a big deal

but sometimes you like teasing him with it when there’s a guy around you who he doesn’t know

“You’re just teasing me again, aren’t you?” he’ll say, trying to sound sure of himself

“Please stop that.”

you grin at him and then give him a big kiss

because you know you always get away with everything with that strategy

and of course you end up reassuring him that you love him and nobody else

Keonhee:

you know how jealous he can get when you’re around your guy friends (or anyone who isn’t him for that matter) when you haven’t given him enough attention lately

and he needs a lot of attention

honestly his jealousy can really get in the way of you two sometimes

at the beginning of your relationship it was really bad to the point you fought various times and he came crawling back to you the next day, apologizing with flowers and chocolate or an expensive dinner invitation

you both thought things would get better naturally with time

but they just didn’t

so you sat down and had a serious talk with him

after that he promised to work on himself, and you helped him build the trust in you he needed for his jealousy to go away

and as the weeks passed by he really did get his emotions under control

though it didn’t disappear fully

nowadays when he gets jealous because there’s another boy near you, he’ll cling to your arm afterwards and tell you immediately that he got jealous

honestly, this kind of affection is cute to you, so you assure him that there’s no need for him to feel that way

you show him that you love only him with words, but mostly with gestures and kisses

and of course he gives it all back to you, happy to know that he’s the only one for you and that you have so much understanding for him

Hwanwoong:

tends to get jealous occasionally

is also the type to hide his jealousy away until it consumes him

then he usually takes it out on you in the bedroom, and he’s fine afterwards, after getting his proof that he’s the only one who can have you like this

however, this time it won’t quite go away

and he doesn’t know why

he’s aware that the other guy is just a good childhood friend of yours

but this time the jealousy isn’t just for shallow reasons

he feels like that guy actually knows you better than he ever could

i mean, he’s known you for almost all his life

contrary to Hwanwoong, who you’ve known for maybe a year

and you can sense that he’s having a hard time this time around

it just takes you a while to figure out that it’s still because he’s jealous

so you suggest for the three of you to meet up so he can see that you’re just friends with the other guy

except you don’t show up and let the two have a talk among themselves

when Hwanwoong comes back from that meeting you’re a little scared he might be angry for leaving him alone with your childhood friend

but to your surprise he tells you that they already have their next meetup planned

they turn out as really good friends

and maybe now it’s you who’s a little jealous that your boyfriend seems to get along with your childhood friend even better than you do

Xion:

much like Gunhak and Hwanwoong he’s the type to keep his jealousy a secret

though he isn’t nearly as good at hiding it

you’ll just come home to him not wanting to talk to you one day, wondering what happened

with him remaining silent or just giving really short answers you’ll soon reach the conclusion that you did something wrong

dinner that night is spent in awkward silence, and when you’re finally going to bed you’re lying on opposite ends

neither of you can sleep well that night

but he’s too stubborn to say something

and you’re too afraid to talk

however, when you come home completely exhausted and tired the next day you try carefully asking if something’s wrong

“Ask your new friend that!” he retorts passive-aggressively

that’s when it clicks

you ask if he’s jealous

which he denies

but you’re sure of it

so you explain that you’re just friends with the other guy

and that you love Dongju more than anyone

with much reasoning you finally get him to open up a little

he’ll even apologize for being jealous, but you assure it’s alright and that he can always come talk to you if he feels like this again

that night you go to bed early, falling asleep in each others arms, relieved that you could sort things out in the end

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autopotion · 5 years ago

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Fenris or Leliana or Jasper >:)

me: you sent me your own character??

you: its called teasing

FENRIS

How I feel about this character: love him. definitely gone up to love-tier over zoe’s playthrough of da2. gideon emery comes for me again

All the people I ship romantically with this character: isabela. theyre incredibly good together and very well matched (better than isabela/merrill lol but that might be too hot of a take....)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: fenris and varric’s friendship is fun, as is varric’s friendship with everyone for sure but. you know. hes best friend material

My unpopular opinion about this character: hes right and he should kill anders. fenris has perfectly legitimate reasons for distrusting mages and yet at the same time never goes out of his way to oppress them or anything, and even expresses an admiration of bethany. hes a good dude with good morals.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: when anders says “you hypocrite you are just jealous” about fenris’s mage sister fenris should have just killed him. and we’ve solved the plot of da2. also fenris should talk about being attracted to men even when he is in a relationship with a female hawke so that he feels actually bisexual instead of playersexual

LELIANA

How I feel about this character: love this faithful bard with dark secrets. she’s a bit dull in the first game but i actually have a soft spot for that character type lol. and i love her goth ruthlessness in inquisition

All the people I ship romantically with this character: hmm... morrigan/leliana is all right, or it would be if half their shit wasnt them insulting each other in stupid ways. leliana/josephine’s cute. i just really like leliana with my amell warden lol. oh you know leliana/zevran is cute too, i like that she finds him attractive

My non-romantic OTP for this character: also leliana and josephine, their friendship is fantastic. one of the things i love about leliana is all her primary relationships are with women, from marjolaine’s abuse to divine justinia’s left hand to josephine’s warm friendship.

My unpopular opinion about this character: her faith and her ruthlessness are not at odds with each other. criticisms of leliana’s plot in dao feeling jarring because of a chantry sister’s struggles with a dark past and a love of subterfuge are like... i dont know lol, i feel like a lot of dude characters have run from their past into faith and never get that kind of flack. its not jarring its depth!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: man i dont actually know, leliana is the rare bisexual character in the dragon age universe that talks about loving women frequently and explicitly so im happy on that front. i think more than anything i just wish she and morrigan had ended up getting along in dao and finding some common ground.

JASPER

How I feel about this character: you know i love your dumb cyborg boy. i had a dream about being in a throuple with him for fucks sake

All the people I ship romantically with this character: flecesper god tier. psyche/jasper is also quite cute, i like in every timeline he’s always had a little thing for her. of your characters i think soren/jasper is interesting and fun

My non-romantic OTP for this character: oh for sure his siblinglike relationship with psyche in universe A. i love how much they care about each other.

My unpopular opinion about this character: yeah whats unpopular between the two of us lol. um. hes a good boy and he wasnt that evil in his anarchist days even if he did blow up a building

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: cant wait for him and flece to have their insane shapeshifter twins

#officecyborg #quiznaibus

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pinkletterday · 6 years ago

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The Secrets Between Us

Pairing: Barry Allen/ Oliver Queen

Rating: All Audiences

Summary: Henry gets to meet the new man in his son's life.

Part 4 of the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam AU

Read on AO3

#myfic #fanfic #olivarry #the flash #arrow #flarrow #barry allen #oliver queen #henry allen #meet the parents #coldflash vs olivarry polyam au #pre-series au

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peanutbutterjelly-pie · 7 years ago

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This is a HUGE Thank You for 3k followers!!

You're amazing and awesome and so beautiful and I actually don't know what I did to deserve you >.< I hope you may find some stories in here you haven't read yet and I will update this post regularly, so stay tuned for that!

Have fun with our two favorite idiots falling in love over and over again :D

Also watch out for the other two parts:

Alternate Universe

Alternate Universe: Supernatural Elements

CANON!VERSE:

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How to Date an Angel in 12 Easy Steps byfourthduckling

It's not that hard to date an angel. All Dean has to do is fight off hordes of vampires, research gay porn, get sucked into a crappy Narnia, endure Sam's comments, creep out on Dr. Sexy, get harassed -- oh, and that's right-- figure out he's into Cas. Easy, right?

(Words: 24k)

That Don't Impress Dean Much by ANobleCompanion

Cas has fallen and he's trying to find a way to impress Dean so the hunter will want to keep him around.

(Words: 24k)

The Mirror bycloudyjenn

When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

(Words: 24k)

Castiel in the Bunker by Athena_Ergane

After giving up on the trials, Sam and Dean find Castiel lost, empty, and human. They take him back to the bunker to their broken hunter family. Kevin is livid. Sam is sick. Dean is worried. Yet, all three men find time to teach Castiel something new about being human. They bond through their lessons with Cas.

(Words: 25k)

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster

Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it …

(Words: 25k)

Dream as if You'll Live Forever by MittenWraith

Cas has just sacrificed the last of his reclaimed grace to cure Dean of the Mark of Cain. He held on to the last wisps for as long as he could, but the first time he succumbs to sleep as a human again, he's in the back seat of the Impala while Dean's driving at highway speeds. A strange dream sets off a series of near catastrophic events, from almost-car-crashes to Dean feeling responsible for Cas being human enough to have a nightmare in the first place. What starts off as an apology ends up somewhere neither of them would've hoped for in their wildest dreams.

(Words: 25k)

Framed in a Stranger's Speech by pantheon_of_discord

Dean, Sam, and Cas have finally found some normalcy – and despite all odds, happiness – when an average hunt leaves a powerful witch gunning for revenge. When the dust clears, there’s a crater in the bunker’s walls and Cas’ vessel is lying empty on the floor. But Jimmy isn’t the only Novak out there …

(Words: 27k)

Bittersweet

Dean and Cas unknowingly start a long-distance relationship.

(Words: 28k)

The First and the Last by peridium

The soul bomb doesn't work, and God is going to die, but Amara has a soft spot for Dean. She gives him the gift of time: the end of the world will be slow.

Dean, Cas, and Sam travel the country in the breaking-down Impala to get in one last road trip and help their scattered friends wherever they can. Between looted gas stations and empty motels without wi-fi, monsters even more monstrous than usual, and heat so stifling not even Dean can wear more than one layer, they're fucked.

Unless they're not. Unless Billie the reaper is right and Cas has something amazing up his sleeve. Dean just has to get his head out of his ass and accept that the power of love might not be a total load of crap after all.

(Words: 30k)

Tethered by thestoryinsideme

When Castiel disappears without a trace, along with the Mark of Cain and twenty-four hours of Dean's life, Dean seeks out the help of the only other righteous angel he knows – Hannah.

(Words: 32k)

Everything Comes Back to You by VioletHaze

Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

(Words: 33k)

Zenith by anactoria

Season 9 AU. Still relatively new to humanity, Castiel struggles with both Dean’s confusing behaviour and the loss of his angelic faculties. When a pissed-off witch restores his ability to see the supernatural, the curse seems like a blessing. He can help his friends again – and when Dean’s lies blow up in his face and Sam is once again left hovering between life and death, Cas is happy to be useful. But his abilities keep getting stronger, and they might just be more than a human brain can handle.

(Words: 33k)

Bucket List by cheeseburgersmakemeveryhappy

It's time Dean remembered who he is now that the Mark is gone. He wants to try new things, do something different, and realizes he doesn’t want to do it alone.

(Words: 35k)

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix

Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves.

(Words: 40k)

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing by superhoney

Dean’s life has always been dictated by duty rather than by need. So when Amara offers to give him the thing he needs most, he doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly isn’t this: a chance to rest, some time away from his life and his burdens. Now he’s trapped in an enchanted sleep, unable to bring himself back to the waking world …

(Words: 40k)

Someone Who's Feeling For Me by ellispark

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there.

Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be.

Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

(Words: 46k)

Though The Course May Change by imogenbynight

After a couple who went missing several years ago from an Oregon couples retreat are mysteriously returned on the same night that another disappears, Dean and Charlie plan to go undercover to find the cause--until Dean's foot meets his mouth, and he finds himself fake-engaged to Castiel instead.

(Words: 52k)

The Prophet Must Die by imogenbynight

"What about Castiel? He seems helpful... and dreamy."

Something about the comment just isn't sitting right, and Dean's jaw twitches. He stares at the wall in the dark, and at a quarter past four in the morning, it hits him.

"Asshole," Dean hisses under his breath, sitting up straight, "that sonofabitch kept publishing."

(Words: 54k)

These Violent Delights by Persephoneshadow

A newly mortal Castiel wants to understand humanity, and a little Shakespeare is just the thing to help him. Of course, it takes a little bit of prodding, but soon the Winchesters (along with Kevin and Charlie) are all part of the world's weirdest reading club. Of course, the poetry starts having an effect on everyone...

(Words: 57k)

To Mend The Cracks With Gold by starsandgutters

After almost losing Charlie to the Stynes, and almost losing Cas in the fight that follows, Dean Winchester is ready to do whatever it takes to rid himself of the Mark of Cain. But when the solution turns out to lie in unfinished Winchester business - shutting the gates of hell - Dean begins to realize this is a quest he might not survive.

(Words: 59k)

As Thin of Substance as the Air by Speary

Chasing a nephilim and keeping the world from yet another potential apocalypse leaves little time for the apple pie life. That sort of life is the very thing that dreams are made from, and Dean barely has time for even that. So when Sam hands him a case that takes them into a charming, small town in Virginia where winter never comes and everything is pleasant, he rolls with it, mostly. After all, Cas is with them there, and sometimes they get to live like they aren’t about to die and kiss like they’ve got all the time in the world.

(Words: 59k)

Circadia by imogenbynight

4-01 is a monster undeserving of a name.

In a facility known only as Circadia, he serves a life sentence in punishment for terrible crimes he cannot remember, and is told to be grateful to have forgotten what those he left behind cannot.

Meanwhile, convinced that he is nothing but a poisonous presence in the lives of those he loves, Dean is attempting to track down Gadreel when Sam calls with bad news: Castiel has disappeared without a trace.

(Words: 76k)

Meet You in Idaho by hunenka

Even if Castiel can’t live in the bunker as long as Ezekiel is healing Sam, it doesn’t mean that Dean can’t stay in touch with the fallen angel. So staying in touch with Cas is exactly what Dean does. In more ways than he originally expected.

(Words: 93k)

The Most Important Thing by NorthernSparrow

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car?

(Words: 95k)

CANON DIVERGENCE:

bloody, but unbowed by you_idjits

Sam doesn’t know what to expect when he walks into the courtroom. But of all the possibilities, he would never have imagined this one: his brother, grinning like the devil, in the defendant’s chair.

Or, the one where Sam never goes to Jericho with Dean, but instead pursues law school and a life with Jess. Dean falls in love with a gas station attendant named Castiel.

Six years after they last saw one another, Sam and Dean meet again in a courtroom. A lot can change in six years.

(Words: 10k)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

(Words: 11k)

Equinox by luchia

In which Castiel is the weird time-traveling freak who just might be the love of Dean Winchester's life.

(Words: 12k)

Face to Face with the Skies by quiddative

(Set right after 4.22) Castiel was not killed by Raphael on the night of Lucifer’s release. Instead, he’s sent to the year 1996 and encounters the Winchesters. Unable to return to the present, Castiel resigns himself to traveling with them on their hunts across the states.

Meanwhile in the year 2008, Dean has barely gotten used to being back in the land of the living when he gets the biggest shock of his life; the man he fell in love with when he was eighteen has seemingly come back from the grave as well, claiming to be an angel of the Lord. The thing is, he doesn’t have a clue who Dean is.

(Words: 42k)

Find the River by LoversAntiquities

Barely a month after recovering from the crash that nearly took his life, Dean’s world is rocked once again, this time the result of an even more devastating injury—the loss of his leg. The accident should have killed him, left Sam alone with a car and without his brother. But in the aftermath, Dean finds unanticipated salvation in a gray-suited man who calls himself an Angel and claims Dean’s life is worth more than he thinks.

After Dean’s miraculous recovery, the Angel leaves him to his own devices with a prosthetic leg and a mission—to find out more about this mysterious ‘Castiel’ and the meaning behind why he pulled Dean from the brink of death, why he thought Dean, out of everyone else that day, was worth saving. And maybe, just maybe, Dean can come to accept it as well.

(Words: 43k)

Season Ticket On A One Way Ride by Darksilvercat

Before Castiel breaks Dean out of the green room in 4.22, he breaks Anna out of prison. With two angels on Team Free Will, the apocalypse takes a different course. Some things change, some things stay the same, and the world is going to Hell in a handbasket, but in the midst of it all, Dean finds a way to hold his family together.

(Words: 44k)

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

(Words: 61k)

A Different Kind of Falling by Lyrial

“I will do it then,” Castiel said with confidence that he did not truly possess. “I will pretend to be a hunter and gain the trust of Dean Winchester so that we may locate Michael’s grace and restore him. I might not be as familiar with humanity as Balthazar is, but I am still a master tactician. I am certain that deceiving a few humans will be well within my capabilities.”

As the humans would say, famous last words.

(Dean is the fallen archangel Michael. Castiel is sent on a mission to restore him to his angelic self. Things get complicated, however, when Castiel finds himself falling for Dean.)

(Words: 72k)

a turn of the earth by mishcollin

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

(Words: 95k)

My Roots Take Flight by KismetJeska

After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

(Words: 126k)

#destiel #fanfic #fic #fic rec #rec list #masterlist #canon!verse #canon divergence #fics underneath the cut

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cuntess-carmilla · 4 years ago

Text

This is just an extremely long vent post sparked by my brother. ^_^

(Reclaimed r slur by the end in reference to myself)

Someone explain to me how my brother can be so smart yet always soooooooooo fucking wrong in everything other than thinking cops and Piñera are scum.

Actually? I know exactly why! It’s because in his colossal immaturity coupled with his trauma of having always been told that he’s dumb because he’s autistic and the combination of mostly STUPID awful teachers and bullying was the actual reason why he did so badly in school after like 3rd grade. Which I get! But the way he ~copes~ with his inferiority complex is by being possibly THE most arrogant person I’ve ever known!

Ok, no, the most arrogant one was my ex-boss who sexually harassed me, but my brother (being actually a good just really frustrating person) comes 2nd. Besides that insecure arrogance, he’s way too driven by his gut feelings without supporting those gut feelings with reason or proper sources. Sometimes AGAINST proper sources. He ESPECIALLY doesn’t inform his gut feelings with other people’s opinions to form any sort of balanced collection of ideas to consider!

Given that he also has really bad anger issues (I’m fucking uncle Iroh post-war crimes compared to him) and represses every emotion that isn’t Wrath, a lot of the time his gut is just going by whatever position, POV or idea causes him the strongest emotional reaction - again, without proper research - that aligns with his like, misanthropy and sense of The World Inherently Sucks, so a lot of the time it’s motherfucking conspiracy theories! And he sticks to the position that took 5 minutes to convince him no matter what anyone says if they don’t passionately agree with him.

AND when someone doesn’t passionately agree with him, or innocently asks questions that could make his position be exposed as wrong or unfounded, he takes it as the grandest personal insult meant to make him feel stupid and if we try to tell him that disagreeing with him or even just not being sure what we think of the positions he adopts, he literally, legit says we’re just saying that to demonize him and make HIM out to be the psycho.

I love him but he’s wrong a lot of the time EVEN compared to my very fascist parents when it doesn’t come to specific local politics (ie. hating cops and Piñera). Don’t get me wrong, they’re fascists so I disagree with 99% of their views (the ones I agree with being stuff like “rape is bad” and “femicides shouldn’t happen”), my mom herself makes up a lot of insane fascist conspiracy theories, and both of them source their information from right-wing mainstream media.

But like... At least they try to form opinions based on (the sadly biased) information they can get rather than immediately making up their minds with NO space for questioning anything based on what aligns with their emotions?

Ok, my mom not so much but she’s only like that when it comes to subjects she thinks she knows well. When it comes to subjects she knows she’s ignorant of, she doesn’t do that. She’s open to asking questions, being corrected and thinking things through in those cases.

My dad is generally capable of all those things that my mom does when she knows she’s not knowledgeable enough in the subject at hand, and actually has a pretty decent capacity to admit he’s wrong when he’s proven wrong by undeniable facts! He knows too that a lot of his own ideas and perceptions can change through time and he’d rather be properly right instead of clinging to past ideas and perceptions just to never admit he was ever wrong. What’s more, he fully accepts that people aren’t always going to agree with him on everything and that’s not a fucking hate crime! What a concept.

So like, yeah I think their politics are wrong almost entirely lol. But I can at least... Think of them as relatively functional adults when it comes to that shit even if they’re wrong and stay very wrong? My mom does take some things more personally but never to my brother’s level.

Just minutes ago my brother was spouting conspiracy theories about COVID (you know the shit, virus was human-made, it’s a conspiracy by some secret society to kill people, etc) like it was objective fact. My dad has stayed away from watching or reading any news for the sake of his own sanity so he doesn’t actually know all the facts, BUT with the facts he didn’t know, he asked him where his information came from in a very neutral way, or filled in the spaces with reasonable logic and distrusting things that are obviously conspiracy-mongering.

Just that my dad didn’t immediately agree with him and put the things he was saying to question my brother started fucking yelling and victimizing himself. I was so fucking annoyed that I committed the crime of interfering not regarding the subject itself, but regarding how my brother was handling not being agreed with. He word by word said “OH, SO YOU AGREE WITH HIM?" I told him I wasn’t agreeing or disagreeing with anyone! Because I wasn’t! I was just trying to calm the dude down and TRY to teach him, for the billionth time, to learn how to take CONSTRUCTIVE gentle criticism and to handle others having a healthy minimum of skepticism regarding the extreme ideas he proposes out of the blue! You know. Like a fucking (by tomorrow) 22 years old guy SHOULD. Ah, yes, he’s not a fucking teenager! HE’S TURNING 22 IN 23 MINUTES FROM NOW.

THEN he started victimizing himself, WITH ME.

ME! THE ONE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE WHO ALWAYS ADVOCATES FOR HIS ASS, HAS ALWAYS TRIED TO LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAS TO SAY WITHOUT DIRECTLY SHUTTING HIS IDEAS DOWN WHEN I THINK HE’S WILDLY WRONG BECAUSE EVEN THEN I MAKE SURE TO DISAGREE WITH HIM IN A WAY THAT HE DOESN’T PERCEIVE AS ME THINKING HE’S A STUPID PARANOID IMBECILE (paranoid he IS by the way!).

I’M THE ONE CUNT WHO’S ALWAYS TRIED TO MAKE THE REST OF THE FAMILY UNDERSTAND WHERE HE’S COMING FROM WHETHER HE’S RIGHT OR WRONG, WHO’S TRIED FOR YEARS (AND SUCCEEDED A LOT OF THE TIME!) TO TEACH THE REST OF THE FAMILY HOW TO ACCOMMODATE FOR HIM, HIS DISABILITY AND HIS TRAUMAS WHEN HE DOESN’T RETURN THE FAVOR TO ANYONE, SOMETIMES ASKING FOR MAYBE MORE COMPREHENSION AND PATIENCE FROM THE REST OF THE FAMILY THAN IT’S FAIR TO ASK FOR!

HELL. EVEN WHEN I TELL HIM OFF WHEN I GET PISSED AT HIM AND SAY PRETTY HEAVY THINGS TO HIM? I MAKE SURE TO ARTICULATE WHAT I’M SAYING IN A WAY THAT SHOWS COMPASSION AND IS COMPLETELY CODDLING IN TONE SO HE DOESN’T FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED. EVEN HE SAYS I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO “LISTENS” TO HIM.

THIS EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED DUDE WHO BREAKS FURNITURE AND DESTROYS OUR FOOD WHEN HIS ANGER OR ANXIETY TAKE OVER, WHO DOES NOT LET ANYONE SEE HIM VULNERABLE UNLESS HE’S HAVING A MELT DOWN ONLY BECAUSE THEN HE CAN’T STOP HIMSELF FROM CRYING? HE USUALLY TRUSTS ME ENOUGH TO HAVE CRIED ON MY SHOULDER MANY FUCKING TIMES.

AND HE ACCUSES ME OF JUST WANTING TO MAKE HIM SEEM LIKE HE’S THE INSANE DUMB DELUSIONAL AWFUL PERSON, SO I CAN SOMEDAY USE THIS INSTANCE AGAINST HIM IN ANOTHER “FIGHT”, WHEN I’VE NEVER FUCKING DONE THAT EVEN WHEN HE, TO BE HONEST, DESERVED IT? SERIOUSLY DUDE? FOR FUCKING REAL?

I’M THE ONE YOU’RE GONNA ACCUSE OF THAT WHEN I SPEND MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE CODDLING YOUR PETTY ASS, PROTECTING YOU, BEING A SECOND MOTHER AND CHARGE FREE SHRINK TO YOU?

OR PULLING ALL-NIGHTERS TO HELP WITH YOUR COLLEGE HOMEWORK WHEN I’VE HAD CLASSES TOO THE NEXT DAY? SOMETIMES DOING THE WHOLE COLOSSAL PROJECT ALONE THE NIGHT BEFORE IF I REALIZE YOU’RE TOO BRAIN FOGGED, FATIGUED OR TRIGGERED TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT GETTING SUICIDAL OR SOMETHING? SENDING YOU TO BED WHILE I DO YOUR SHIT AND DON’T SLEEP AT ALL? SOMETIMES GROUP PROJECTS WHERE YOU WERE GROUPED WITH LAZY ASSHOLES SO I’M DOING THE WORK OF 4 PEOPLE ALONE THE NIGHT BEFORE? FOR FREE?

M E ?

BITCH, I DON’T EVEN WANT A MEDAL OR TO BE THANKED BECAUSE BEING THANKED FOR ANYTHING MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE! BUT COME THE FUCK ON. I’D JUST APPRECIATE NOT BEING SLAPPED ON THE FACE IN RETURN, YOU KNOW?

*insert gif of Disney’s Hades exploding in red fire then calming down 2 seconds after*

Like you just! Can’t fucking have an adult conversation with this dude if you’re not validating him without question! You can’t! You can’t have any level of healthy friendly debate with him! You can’t beg him to be reasonable! YOU CAN’T!

He was saying “BUT IT’S OBVIOUS”, my dad asked CALMLY “With what proof?”, then it was “WELL, IT’S OBVIOUS TO ME”, then “That’s an opinion, not a fact. We can google the number” and OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Then to ME he was all “YOU JUST LOVE TO BE RIGHT, DON’T YOU?” calling US immature and saying WE are the ones who don’t want to listen to a different opinion!!!!! When I told him he fucking loves being right he victimized himself again with a “WELL, FOR ONCE I’D LIKE TO BE!”

I was about to tell him, with the last dying bit of my patience, that yeah, like most people I do actually like to be right and I like it a lot! But that being right requires actual fucking work and THINKING rather than just going by whatever supports your misanthropic Kill Society angry feelings, and the moment you’re proved wrong YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR POSITION IN ORDER TO BE RIGHT, BECAUSE IF YOU CLING TO YOUR DEBUNKED FIRST BASELESS CONVENIENT OPINION OUT OF PRIDE THEN YOU’RE OBJECTIVELY WRONG AND A PISSBABY.

But I didn’t get to say that because something else interrupted it and then things cooled off while, like a good Scorpio Mars, I’m still endlessly ruminating on and won’t forget about the rest of my life as much as I’d actually LOVE to be able to forget this instance of him being an idiot. 8)

Like, does this motherfucker not fucking get that unless I already know the subject thoroughly and have a fully fleshed Opinion, I don’t often give opinions out loud BECAUSE I try to first shape my thoughts properly and THAT’S why I tend to be fucking right? That that’s why I always have a lot of arguments and am so certain of what I think, because I’m so insecure that I only fucking talk when I’m 99.999999% confident in what I have to say, rather than it being because I’m an inflexible asshole who thinks is better than him!

And he’s seen it. He’s fucking SEEN ME acknowledge when I’m wrong!!!!! Including the times I’ve been wrong TO HIM.

In all honesty I don’t enjoy admitting when I’m wrong (in big part BECAUSE I put a lot of effort into articulating the ideas I’m standing by!), but when I realize that I am, just out of a minimum of maturity and sense of DIGNITY - because I’d find it so fucking humiliating to not acknowledge being wrong when it’s obvious that I am to everyone involved and I can no longer defend my point - I still do it!

Bitch, you said it yourself, I LIKE TO BE RIGHT. I’m going to side with what I genuinely think is right even if I used to think it was wrong! There’s a motherfucking reason that as a teenager I was a Pinochet apologist, Gays Go To Hell, Communism = Evil / Capitalism = Freedom, pro-life, Catholic and now I’m THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF ALL OF THAT.

Does he think it didn’t hurt my pride to discover one-by-one that my views were absolute shit? IT DID AND GOD KNOWS MY PRIDE IS SENSITIVE AS HELL. Does he think it wasn’t depressing to have my whole world views destroyed? I NEED TO STAND ON FIRM GROUND ON EVERYTHING OR ELSE I LOSE MY SHIT, IT WAS AWFUL TO SUDDENLY HAVE MY WORLD VIEW WRECKED. Does he think I didn’t try to argue for my WRONG ideas for as long as I still thought I had decent arguments to back them up? OF COURSE I DID, I BELIEVED IN THEM FOR A REASON, AS WRONG AS I WAS.

But I changed! I changed when I no longer had any space left to think I was right! And I operate the same way with my current positions and ideas now! Dude, I tend to be right over you BECAUSE I don’t immediately get set on the first thing that makes me feel emotionally Validated, unlike you! You ARE smart but you’re SO driven by your own colossal yet insecure ego that you don’t even BOTHER to be critical of your own thoughts and all your potential goes to waste.

I ruminate on every single little thing obsessively, to my own detriment, being my own Devil’s advocate having an ruthless debate against myself in my mind, starting off COMPLETELY insecure about my own thoughts, paranoid trying to imagine in what way I could possibly be proved wrong by someone else if I said my ideas out loud and how to hold my stance in case it happens. I NEVER say my ideas out loud to people who I think know more than me or are smarter than me, to not make a fool of myself in front of anyone because I’m a coward and I was also bullied into firmly believing I’m a fucking retard!

All of that pathological effort because I actually don’t think I’m better than you or anyone else! I think I’m really fucking stupid! So I overthink it all endlessly and by PRINCIPLE I distrust and question my own thoughts and perceptions at every single second. For hours, days, weeks, months, EVEN YEARS.

That’s why when I do speak I’m one of those annoying bitches who have an answer to everything! BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU’D TRY TO PROVE ME WRONG ON THAT FRONT ALREADY AND I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT HUMILIATION SO I ALREADY HAD THAT SHIT COVERED BEFORE I DECIDED TO SAY ANYTHING.

And nothing in that exhausting, paranoid process guarantees I’ll be correct! So even when I firmly think I’m right I keep it to myself some more in case that maybe two years later or something I’ll discover a flaw in my thought process.

It’s so tiring, it’s so fucking tiring how EVERYONE who knows me from afar or from very FUCKING close, thinks that any and every one of the fucking things I achieve just fell into my stupid hands out of the sky by mere luck because God felt like giving me an easy ride that day. They ALL think I’m some arrogant bitch for the very few things I don’t doubt anymore when I try my best to be humble as long as I don’t humiliate myself! But I’m SURE they all think I’m a conceited lucky show off!

EVERY TIME I’m for fucking once proud of anything I achieve, people tell me to my fucking face that I’m just naturally and inexplicably talented, taking away any merit of my fucking own.

Like it’s a FUCKING compliment that, supposedly, everything I’ve achieved by pushing myself to my limits despite being at a disadvantage in so many areas, destroying my already ill body and breaking my autistic little brain, barely sleeping for days, having panicked crying fits where I self-harm because it’s not good enough and I don’t know how to make it right... What I finally accomplish by putting in all that effort, self sabotage and sacrifice?

Oh, it just fell into my hands because I’m THAT blessed, apparently! It’s all just LUCK AND TALENT I DIDN’T DO A THING TO EARN! I’m SO lucky and effortlessly talented! I feel SO fucking flattered!!! :) Thank you SO much! :) I’ve never EVER doubted myself also! :D

#also i know there's typos but you know what there's nothing of?#my shits to give or any energy from how exhausted i already was before all this

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concussed-to-pieces · 7 years ago

Text

The Kindness; Epilogue

Fandom: Fallout (3)

Pairing: Female Lone Wanderer/Charon

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thank you for enjoying!

Charon yawned, stretching with a low groan. Beside him, Spoon snuggled into his ribs. Spoon?! Charon started, half out of the bed before he recalled what had happened between them. A slow grin crept across his face. Holy shit, smoothskin. He relaxed back against her, noticing a tiny notebook clutched in her left hand. That's...

Charon remembered the little book from when they had been mauled by super mutants. Before they were sneak-attacked by raiders. In the brief interlude when they had fought and then awkwardly flirted. She'd been reading it when he had left to go 'keep watch'. His grin faded. Something like that can't ever happen again. I won't let it. Charon carefully, carefully managed to tug the notebook free of Spoon's fingers. A little stump of lead tumbled out when he opened it, and Charon caught it absently with his other hand.

'This book property of Eleanor Grace!' screamed the inside of the cover, the Vault-Tec insignia emblazoned over the neat, small handwriting. Charon closed the book a little harder than he intended, quickly putting it on the windowsill with the pencil as Spoon stirred.

Eleanor . Her name is Eleanor. Charon's head spun. Eleanor Grace.

“Y' can look at it if you want. Nothin' in there's secret.” Spoon slurred through a yawn. “Just my journey log.”

Charon fought back an embarrassed wince at being caught so easily, shrugging in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner. “It fell open. I wasn't actually looking at it.”

“Mmhm.” Spoon hummed, her drowsy look no-nonsense as she took the notebook and pressed it into Charon's hands. “Study up. Test tomorrow.”

“Smoothskin...” She was either pretending to sleep or had already passed back out. Charon huffed in exasperation, propping himself up against the metal piping that served as a headboard and gingerly opening the notebook again.

'This book property of Eleanor Grace! Vault 101.'

The first page had a picture glued to it. A man and a woman wearing white lab coats, smiling for the camera. He had to fight the urge to see them as something awful, used and over-used to distrusting scientists.

'Always know that your mother and I love you very, very much, little one. Remember her verse, Rev. 21:6. You are our precious beautiful daughter. Happy birthday, Eleanor.'

The ghoul's throat tightened and he cleared it angrily. She wanted me to read this, dammit. Charon leafed through the pages. The first of them were covered with clippings from different books and magazines...maybe even some scientific papers, scaring up a few uneasy echos of the Institute. An Overseer. Stasis pods. The safety and comfort of a Vault-Tec vault.

There was a defined part where it became obvious that Spoon-- Eleanor had left the Vault. Heated, young-adult rants about tunnel snakes were traded for blood spattered across one of the pages, now old and brick red-brown against the beaten paper. On the other side was tiny, immaculate writing. Charon's heart clenched as he read the words of an obviously shaken young woman, a terrified girl baptized in the fire that was the Capital Wasteland.

'Dad is gone. The air out here is poison. The light burns. But if I stay down there, they'll kill me. Butch's mom almost got eaten alive by the huge...bugs. They bit me and I don't feel good. My stomach hurts. My arm hurts. Butch gave me his jacket and promised me I'd see him again if I'd stop being such a pussy. I punched him for that. My legs are okay. I can walk. I should walk. Far far far away.

Dad why did you leave me here?'

Charon flipped ahead a little ways, his stomach twisting when he caught sight of scrawled, capital letters. Silent screaming trailed across the page, a girl's plea to her father who had abandoned her. 'THIS IS WHAT YOU LEFT ME TO YOU DAD I'M BLEEDING I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT HE DIDN'T KILL ME BUT I WANT TO DIE I FEEL FILTHY WHAT DO I DO DAD WHAT DO I--'

Charon shook his head, fighting the nausea that surged in the back of his throat as he hurriedly turned past those pages. What the hell kind of parent is this guy? Leaving his kid alone in a world like this...Christ. Next to him, Spoon groaned in her sleep. Charon pulled the blanket up over her, smoothing it across her shoulders.

'I disarmed the bomb! I did it! I spent half the day chewing Mentats and reading all of Moira's old Duck and Cover issues. That, plus what I remembered from James's jabbering about nukes. Guess the old bastard had something to offer me after all. It's weird. For the first time since I was. Well. I felt surprisingly alive with my arms elbow deep in that bomb, clipping wires and listening to Simms hold his breath. Alive but at peace. Out here there seems to be this screaming insanity people mistake for living, the rushrushrush of survival. But today up to my armpits in nuke I realized that not much of it matters. I cut one wrong wire and I'm very very dead. Maybe it was the Mentats but I was alright with it. I just knew that I couldn't fail, that's all.'

'I got drunk for the first time last night. Vodka burns but apparently it gives me the strength of an angry Brahmin. Jericho was nursing a busted nose come morning, and Gob high-fived me when Moriarty wasn't looking. Poor Nova was tired out from the festivities though, and I 'rented' her for the day so she could get some sleep. It's getting a little more difficult to keep up this male ruse, especially with my hair being how it is, so technically getting Nova's room was a strategic move. I'm still flattered that Nova seems to think I'm a goddamn gentleman either way. But even if I was a guy I don't think I'd do that to Gob. Poor bastard.'

'The wasteland is so much bigger than I am. The vault was tiny compared to this world I have now. Moira says I'm suffering from depression, but she doesn't understand. I know what depression is. Depression is being trapped in a sunless hellhole, with no one around who actually cares about you. Depression is being used, being left battered and broken in a ditch somewhere. Moira has some jobs for me to 'get me out of the house' and I'll do my best to complete them. She's worried about me. I hate that. She shouldn't worry. I'm fine.'

Charon's brow furrowed and he looked down. Spoon was soundly sleeping against his side. He stroked her hair absently as he continued to read.

'People wonder why I'm Spoon. Not anything special, honestly. I'm not Eleanor anymore, so I picked a different name. One that lets me fit in a little better out here. And yeah, Spoon doesn't have the same impact as 'Murder' when you introduce yourself, but spoons are useful. I'd rather be useful than scary. Also it's unassuming. Who expects a person named Spoon to murder them in their sleep?'

'James if you're still out there, I'll find you. I want answers, you fuck. Why did you leave me in the vault? I'm so lost. Like you always said, I'm too cocky and sloppy for my own good. Is that why you left me behind? Because I'm messy? Or because I was just in the way of your favorite kid, your goddamn Project Purity? I'm punching you in the face when I find you, you selfish prick.'

Charon cocked his head. Project Purity?

'Set out from Megaton today to go to...

I met the Brotherhood of Steel! And I killed a...

Underworld is so strange! Ghouls everywhere. Winthrop asked me...'

Water had obviously gotten onto the pages at some point, a few of them dried together or smeared. He couldn't hold back his chuckle when he came across the entries involving him.

'I'm finding myself a companion, little book. I've decided that it's lonely as hell out here and extra protection from something terrible happening again wouldn't be so bad. One I've got my sights set on for sure. His name is Charon, like the ferryman of the Styx. He's a big, big ghoul, and he's bored to tears. I don't know why he sticks around The Ninth Circle really. I would ask him but he appears to be under some strict fucking orders. I wonder what Ahzrukhal did to him to have a huge guy like that so pliant. I hope he isn't abusing him. I thought ghouls didn't abuse one another? Out of some kind of mutual understanding that they already have it bad enough? Maybe I've got it all wrong.'

'Sometimes I catch him looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye. Maybe he thinks I'm trouble. Maybe I irritate him by not being so scared of him. Shit, maybe he just flat-out doesn't like me. It's probably my funny hat. Or how I talk. I wonder if he would try to kill me if I was able to hire him. He's obviously not a giant fan of 'smoothskins'. No one down here really seems to be but I guess I'm tolerable enough.'

'Wow was I nervous talking business with Ahzrukhal! That ghoul is a goddamn snakey motherfucker. He wants so many caps for that precious contract. I'm going to have to go clear to Rivet to get that amount for the crap that I scavenge. And that's on top of keeping all the scrap metal so I can trade it to Winthrop. This bleeding heart stuff is exhausting sometimes. Still no new leads on James. Fuck it. I hope this is all worth it. I told Charon I'd be back soon. I saw his arms flex, so I know he's at least interested!'

'The way Ahzrukhal stressed the word “employee” has me colored nineteen shades of curious. Maybe suspicious would be a better word. I feel like there's a lot more going on there than he's letting on. Did he get Charon from slavers? Raiders? Watching Charon hoist Patches like he weighed nothing was a little terrifying. I think I surprised him though. He turned around to head back to The Ninth Circle and his eyes got all kinds of spooked when he saw me there. Touching him definitely used up most of my very limited courage store. He radiates heat like a furnace. It was odd. Are all ghouls that hot? Have to ask Gob. That must be awful.'

'He's six-ten if he's an inch. The hair he has left is a rusty red color. I think his eyes were blue at one point. Hard to tell with the ghoul film over them. I wish there was more research done on ghouls! I'm so curious about why it happens only to certain people...it's strange. The only weapon I've seen him with is an old combat shotgun. Drum mag-fed, back holster. I've never actually seen him use it though. Normally he just hefts ghouls up bodily to toss them out.'

Charon rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little overwhelmed. His smoothskin didn't miss a trick. “Observant little fuck, aren't you.” He grunted. “I did think you were up to no good. You'd nurse your fucking vodka and just watch everyone in the place. And the weird way people would talk to you and ask for help like you guys were old friends confused me.” The ghoul stroked her hair again, carefully separating out the seven braids. “I think I understand a little better now.”

'Talon Mercs. How on earth did I attract them? Took a damned hunk out of my hip too. Good thing I'm not queasy about blood, otherwise I'd be screwed. I've patched myself up as best as I can with what I've got, but it might be a little trickier than I thought getting back to Underworld. Especially with all the stuff in my pack I couldn't pawn off on Flak or Shrapnel. Butch laughed at me for saving up to buy Charon's contract, saying that I was such a pussy. Why didn't I just shoot Ahzrukhal? Even after I explained to him that I was at least slightly trusted in Underworld and I didn't want to ruin it with murder, he didn't understand. I wasn't really all that surprised. He said I was pretty after that though. That surprised me. He didn't try to do anything about it though, except wink at me and add, “For a little nosebleed like yourself”. Also surprising. The Bitch Butch I grew up with would have jumped at a chance to coerce a decent looking girl to grease his genitals. Maybe since he got out of the vault, he's had more options and it's evened him out? ...oh no, what if he's grown up?'

'Willow is a goddamn lifesaver! I'd been out of ammo for a little while and my knifework wasn't cutting it (forgive the pun). I was sure I was a goner and then that red-lipped beauty popped the last Talon square in the head. I gave her a pack of cigs for that, and I promised her another before I left. She just rumpled my hair and told me I was the worst tourist she'd ever seen. I went straight to the Chop Shop. In fact, that's where I am right now. Doc Barrows told me Ethyl and Meat can't see through the glass of their prison, but I'm pretty sure they can. I don't mind them though, they seem okay. Glowing ones out in the Wasteland I'd pump full of lead for sure, and I guess a lot of other ghouls would do the same.'

Charon suppressed a shudder. Glowing ones gave him the creeps, and he was pretty sure Barrows keeping them around was a bad move for everyone in Underworld. The pull that they had over the ferals was a little too much like mind control for Charon to be comfortable around them. The few times he had seen them they did look oddly docile, even bored. Not exactly the blood-thirsty, pack-leading 'Pulsers' he was used to.

'Barrows says I lost a lot of blood and my hip is missing a chunk of bone about the size of a golf ball. A Stim would've reset the bone if it was still there. Ah well. I told him not to worry about it, it just 'added character'. He swore at me for that, but he laughed afterward so I think I did good. I've got to get over to The Ninth Circle soon though. I want to make sure Charon knows I'm back before I go trade the rest of my bits and pieces. I want Ahzrukhal to shake in his greasy boots with the knowledge that I'm coming to take his giant buddy away. Hell, this is probably the most proactive thing I've ever done! I'm grinning from ear to ear like some stupid little kid. I wonder if once I get his contract, I can give it to him or something? I'll have to ask Charon about that, once he can talk to me freely. One thing's for sure, I don't want to stick him in a corner like a damn chair or lamp.'

'What an asskicker! Charon is the man with the goddamn plan not a doubt in my mind about that. It's awful that I can't give him his contract and set him free, but...I'm okay with having him around for a while I think. I've been keeping up this 'man' facade for some time now, just because it makes me feel safer. I never thought...after what happened, I figured I'd never want to be a girl again. But being around Charon makes me want to be okay, if just for a little while. He makes me feel safe. Hopefully writing these things down will help me work them out of my system.'

'Charon says it's not a problem that I'm a girl. “I don't recall your gender ever coming up in conversation”. Just like that. He's not angry. He fucking carried me home. He helped patch me up. ...I don't know what to do with myself. It's almost a relief that someone knows. At the same time I'm sorry for making his job tougher. Now he has to...to worry about something happening like I have to worry.'

Charon grumbled low in his throat, watching Spoon's chest rise and fall as she slept beside him. Smoothskin...

He rubbed a hand across his face, feeling a little less exhausted after his long nap. Charon shimmied up to slump against the headboard, his movements sending dust motes spiraling up into the shafts of sunlight that seared their way through the partially-boarded windows. He turned his attention back to the chronicle, patchworked fingers turning the pages slowly.

Sometimes there were sketches. Her rifle, the view from what he assumed was the door of Vault 101. A few of him, the muscle groups in his face and shoulders clearly labeled. Charon snorted when he came across a rather gratuitous sketch of himself with his pants unbuttoned, his fingers resting on his belt and the muscles of his legs clearly visible and labeled through his pants. Sometimes he stumbled over words, having to sound them out in his head. Sometimes Spoon's writing was illegible, too small or smeared to read. She had a habit of cramming words together if she was coming towards the end of a page, her loops and lines squashing themselves in a vain effort to make more room. Have to keep an eye out for extra paper. Don't want her running low.

'I could have lost him today with those super mutants. I panicked. He could have died. He could have died and I can't fix that. I can't fix that. What the hell am I going to do? I'm already way more attached than I should be but he's been through more than enough! What is wrong with me?! Why the heck did I get so worked up? Jesus. I can't afford to be this way! 'This thing did a number on me' he says like he got love-tapped instead of thrown across the room. Stupid me I'm so stupid! We're okay now but God do I feel like an idiot.'

'Caring for someone else is weird. It's been ages. I mean yeah Wadsworth Gob and Nova. Moira. Carol. Even Winthrop. Just since James I figured I never would again. Thought it would be easy. Then I met Gob in the bar and I knew I was screwed. He's the first ghoul I ever saw and he was just...he was so sad all the time and it made me so angry. He didn't do anything wrong and yet here's this other guy spitting on his existence! Making him his free labor! I don't understand how people can get away with that. Simms frustrates the hell out of me sometimes because he ignores it. I know he's just trying to keep the peace but really?'

'Charon says he's been passed around and that he's broken. I can understand at least one of those things and I'm going to do everything I can to help. I'm tired of pretending we're just partners. We're friends damn it. From the day I followed him tossing out Patches I knew I needed to help. Even while I was getting turned into Swiss cheese by the Talons I understood that failure wasn't an option. I don't have much to live for out here honestly. The allure of finding my dad and punching him in the groin for abandoning me kind of wore off years ago. But if I can keep helping...keep doing what I think is right even after everything else...I don't know. Maybe I'll make a difference. Three Dog talks about me and it's like he's talking about a different person. I can't do great things. I can barely clean my rifle right. I can do good things though. I think.'

Charon closed the notebook, trying to collect his thoughts. He took a deep breath to clear his head and felt Spoon's fingers close around his limp hand slowly, like a reflex while she was asleep. “You're wrong, Spoon.” He rasped, his throat rougher than usual. The smoothskin hummed, obviously not awake. Charon felt his chin quiver a little. “Fuck's sake, you don't even see how much you do, you...you fuckin'...you disarmed a nuke for these people. You're so damn good and you can't even see it, spitting in the damn face of the Talons and raiders and slavers.” He slid down until he was laying beside her again, taking her face in his hands and shakily kissing her forehead. “Christ, smoothskin. Jesus fucking Christ. I told you I'd follow, 'I will make my services worth your kindness'. But I fucking can't. I failed. You've done so much more for me than I could ever...so much awful shit has happened to me and then your contrary ass comes walking in acting like I still deserve to have good in my life.” Charon shook his head in disbelief.

“Don' cry.” Spoon murmured, putting a finger over his mouth. Charon hadn't even noticed the tears making their way down his face. “S'okay. No bad dreams. I'm here. Gotcha'.”

“Spoon...”

“M' here.” She repeated, wrapping herself around him protectively. “Right here. M' gonna' be here when y' wake up. Then we gotta' kill s'more baddies.”

“Of course.” Charon tried to smile, wiping at his cheeks haphazardly. “For good or ill, remember?”

“How 'bout 'for quiet an' let Spoon sleep', s'at sound okay?” The smoothskin mumbled, scrunching up her nose when Charon kissed it. “M'poss'ble bigass ghouly-ghoul, stoppit.”

“I've been called much worse than that, smoothskin.”

You are my heart. I will be with you always, for good or ill, and I promise I will be worth your kindness. Thank you.

#fallout three #fallout 3 #Charon the ghoul #Female!Lone Wanderer #rewrite #hurt/comfort #canon-typical violence #video games #slow burn #charon/F!LW #Charon/Female Lone Wanderer

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armadil-lo · 8 years ago

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Hey, im the original annon that started the whole fakes lay low thing.... sorry! Anyways i absolutly love your additions and i never thought it'd get this big. Your tags kill me. I am curious however how do you think the rest of the crew might react when they finally meet Jeremy? Maybe geoff already had him on his radar. Maybe he is apart of funhuas which is a subsidiary of of sorts to the fahc. (1/?)

Maybe he is apart of funhaus which is a rival gang,maybe that was part of the big battle that caused the fakes to go underground.Like FH found and revealed the location of the penthouse the LSPD, because ifthey’re going down damn it so will the fakes. so Jeremy is just trying to getby after his gang is completely destroyed. And sure he wasnt a very big memeberbut he needed that extra cash to pay rent. And no other gang dare touch anyonethat the fakes may have a beef with (2/?)

So that is why he started joining the fights andstuff…. sorry i kinda got off topic… but the fact that ryan is with someonefrom a rival gang the very gang thay got them into this mess gahhhhhh!!!!! Theangest in the fahc would be so intense. (3/3) p.s. I’ve been follwing your blogfor a while so to see my ask be rebloged by another great person and comeacross my dash really made my day thank you for all you’ve added

OMG hello!!! Don’t be sorry, you’ve given birth tosomething wonderful :D Thank you so so much for the kind words omg, I’m sohappy you enjoy what I added!

OOOH I do like the idea of him being part ofFunhaus or another rival gang - I think I’mma go with another random rival gangthough since I like the idea of Funhaus/Fakehaus being on good terms with theFAHC haha :’)

Most of it’s under a read more because this got insanely long oops… Also just gonna tag @shadeofazmeinya and @miss-ingno bc Ifeel like that’s just a given for this AU haha

Jeremy who’s made his living off of undergroundfighting rings finally getting hired to do some grunt work for a crew whosename he actually recognises. He thinks he’s moving up in the world, thinks he’sfinally going to get his big break in crime, actually have a steady cash flow.He never even meets the head honcho of this crew in fact, but he’s only beenworking with them for a short time when he hears the boss just sold out theFakes. He has no idea how that was something a smaller crew like theirs couldeven accomplish, but next thing he knows it’s all over the news how the Fake AHCrew’s official penthouse has been found, how hackers are currently lookinginto the phones and credit cards they left behind, how the LSPD are on a manhunt and they’recertain they’ll be at one of many locations that they’ve now been able to traceback to the crew. And see the thing is, Jeremy always admired the Fakes. Alwayslooked up to them, appreciated what they stood for as a crew. They alwaysseemed so close and it was something Jeremy dreamed about having one day. He’salmost sad that they’ve been taken down by his boss. Scratch that, he isactually kind of upset.

And thenhe learns that the reason his boss fucking did it is because their own gang isgoing under. Only a couple days later and they’re under attack themselves,Jeremy fleeing before things get too intense. There’s a viral clip going aroundof his ex-boss being dragged into a cop car boasting about how “I took down the Fakes before I went down, Idon’t give a shit what you do to me now!” And welp, if Jeremy wasn’t in a rough patchbefore, he sure as hell is now. He goes back to fighting rings and small crimeson the side. It’s all he knows how to do.

Skipping past the rest of the posts that’vealready been made about FAHC going in hiding, Ryan working at Starbucks, Jeremybeing a regular customer there, them falling for each other obviously, etc etcetc…

I imagine it doesn’t take very long afterJeremy finds out Ryan is the Vagabond for Ryan to take Jeremy to the safehouse.Jeremy didn’t run, Jeremy didn’t slam the door in his face. He actually helpedRyan out, even after knowing exactly who he is and what he has done. Ryantrusts him infinitesimally more after that. Ryan is too injured to go back tothe safehouse the day after the return-heist-gone-wrong (I imagine a couplebroken ribs and a bullet graze at the least) and he wakes up to a blanket overtop of him and Jeremy is asleep on the floor beside him and if he hadn’tfallen for him already, boy is that the moment he realises it. Jeremy wakesup and he makes them breakfast and sits by Ryan’s side and Ryan just findshimself spilling everything. What it was like when they got taken down, howtense it’s been in the household for all these months, how fucking ridiculouslyshitty it is to work in Starbucks but that Jeremy is always the best part ofhis day, that this heist felt like it was going to make everything better somehow, like it was just goingto magically solve all their problems and the Fakes would be back on top in notime. How he’s actually quite scared that things will never be that way againafter what happened yesterday. Jeremy listens, and he understands. He knowsthat feeling so, so well. Hope just being shattered in an instant. They spendthe day getting to know each other – actuallygetting to know each other, no veils or masks or secrets anymore. And it’sreally nice.

But then Ryan turns on his latest phone andsees the string of increasingly worried and frantic texts from the others. He finallylets them know he’s okay, which only really increases their panic tenfold aboutwhere he is. Jeremy has been readingover his shoulder (okay so his head is leaning on Ryan’s shoulder actually) andhe asks how far away their tiny base is. Ryan bites his lip and says it’sacross town and immediately starts mumbling about how his motorbike waswrecked, he doesn’t have a car, he walked here from the heist, stealing avehicle now is just impractical probably- and Jeremy interrupts like “Dude. Youdisguised yourself as a citizen for almost a whole fucking year. A shower and a changeof clothes and you could easily just take a taxi.” Ryan protests immediatelythat then the taxi driver will know where their only safehouse left is, towhich Jeremy says, “Then we’ll ask him to stop a block away and I’ll walk youthe rest of the way.”

“…You’re coming?”

“Well I’m guessing you don’t have any moneyon you. And I’m not fucking letting you go alone when you’re hurt like this.”

And if it were anyone else, anyone else, Ryan would probably have toslit their throat for knowing so much. But it’s Jeremy. So that’s that.

Jeremy helps Ryan to the shower (and out ofhis clothes - awkward avoiding looking at his body ensues, because it’s different when he’s not fixing up wounds with Ryan half passed out) and tries to findsome clothes that fit him. He thinks a baggy shirt will do, and the longestpair of sweatpants he owns (which actually belonged to an old friend namedTrevor once upon a time). The clothes cling a little bit, but hugging Ryan’sfigure isn’t a bad thing tbh. Ryan shoves his gear in an old, torn backpack ofJeremy’s and they call a taxi. Ryan tells the driver to go to a street that’s alittle ways away from the safehouse (three blocks actually, just to be careful,plus there’s shortcuts through backalleys and whatnot). Jeremy winces a littlebit at the final cost of the taxi and Ryan feels really bad, he’s known for a while now that money istight for Jeremy, but Li’l J produces what is needed for payment and off theygo, the smaller man helping Ryan walk the rest of the way.

Ryan’s ribs and other wounds are aching bythe time they reach the safehouse but they’re here and they made it and heknocks on the door because he lost his key and it swings open after a secondand Jack is pulling him into a fierce hug. He chokes out a small noise of painbut then hugs her back, albeit a bit awkwardly because he still had one armaround Jeremy for support. Then, from the doorway, Gavin is asking “Who areyou?” And Jack takes a step back and Ryan sees them all crowded behind her now,looking at Jeremy in equal parts confusion, surprise and distrust. Jeremyhimself looks stunned tbh. I mean, c’mon, it’s the Fakes. They’re famous. They were practically his crime idols. Evenif he didn’t know Ryan when he first saw him (or in the many months following)and it took him a second or two to place Jack, he knows Ramsey, and Mogar, andthe Golden Boy. Who in Los Santos doesn’t have their faces burned into theirminds?

So Ryan clears his throat and introduces him.“This is Jeremy. He’s a.. friend.” Jeremy glances over at Ryan and snapshimself out of it to give them a hesitant smile. The Fakes all look fuckingweirded out at that tbfh because since when does Ryan refer to people otherthan them as friends lol? They overlook that for now and pull the both of theminto the safehouse and gather in their little living room around the diningtable and the couch to hound Ryan with questions about what happened to him,where he was, how he got here, if anyone suspects where they are, etc etc.Which Ryan all answers calmly and truthfully, asking them similar questions inreturn and letting Jack hover over his wounds. Jeremy sits by his sideawkwardly through all of this, internally freaking the fuck out that he’s in aroom with the Fake AH Crew and tryinghis best not to pass out, lbr. Also he’s trying to ignore the fact that Geoffhasn’t spoken one word yet and is staring at him with the weirdest look on hisface.

Eventually the questions turn to Jeremy ofcourse. Who are you, how do you know Ryan, what are you doing here, what do youdo for a living. Ryan answers most of these so that he can deflect what heknows Jeremy won’t want to answer more easily, though Jeremy pipes up quietlynow and then. They’re both grateful that the others don’t tell him to leave orthreaten to kill him or anything drastic like that. Until suddenly Geoffinterrupts something Gavin is saying to ask, “You’re not Jeremy Dooley, are you? Rimmy Tim?” Jack sitsup a little straighter at that, face going hard, and the others look at Geoffquestioningly. Jeremy coughs a small laugh, genuinely shocked that Geoff fucking Ramsey actually knows who he is. “Yep, that’s me,” he replies, dazed. He thinksthat this is a good thing for a fleeting moment. He does not know that that is avery, very bad thing.

Geoff immediately leaps up from where he wassitting and slams a fist on the table, fuming in an instant. “I fucking knew it! I’ve had the names, photos and aliasesof all of you fuckers that got away from dayfucking one.” The others are alert in an instant, Jeremy’s blood turningcold at his anger, slowly starting to shake his head, eyes wide. “Are youwired? Who knows we’re here?” Jeremy just starts spluttering nonsense, nothaving a clue what to say. Jack backs away. Ryan looks up at Jeremy with asmall frown. When Jeremy can’t produce a coherent response, Geoff takes a fewsteps closer. “You were with the [gang] when we went down. You assholes fuckingruined us! Look at us! Are you fucking happynow?” Jeremy’s shaking his head frantically now, starting up a whispered chant of ‘no,no, no’ but not able to cut into Geoff practically spitting in his face now. “Weknow exactly how many of you got away, exactlywho you are, and the first fucking thing we’re going to do if we get back ontop is take you and your little buddies out. Rimmy Tim is number seven.”

“He’s about to be number one when I blow hisfucking brains out,” comes Michael’s voice from behind Geoff. Michael may stillbe limping from where cops shot him in the leg, but he was still quick enoughto grab a gun and be pointing it right at Jeremy’s head. Jeremy goes numb andsqueaks out, “I swear, I didn’t-“ Geoff holds up a hand to Michael. Michaeldoesn’t shoot, but he doesn’t put the gun down either. And then Geoff ispicking Jeremy up by the collar and shoving him against the wall. “Are. You.Wired?” Jeremy shakes his head. “Are your friendson their way? To finish up the fucking job their boss started?”

“They’re n- I’m- I didn’t-“

Michael explodes. “Answer the fucking question!”

“N-No. No, nobody’s coming.”

“So whatthen? You found out who Ryan was on your own? Stalked him for however long,finally managed to follow him here? Gonna round them up to kill us all when we’resleeping?”

“Geoff,” Ryan quietly calls from where he’ssitting.

“No,I-I swear, I’d never-“

“You were gonna take us out by yourself?”

“I didn’tknow!” Jeremy cuts in, breathing heavily, absolutely fucking terrified.That makes Geoff pause, his grip loosening a little bit and he squints insuspicion. Michael only takes a small step closer with the pistol. “I swear tofucking God, I didn’t know. I justdid grunt work for them, f-for like two weeks. I don’t even know who was in onit, or where the hell they got the information from, I was sad when you- It felt wrong, it always felt wrong. I haven’t heardfrom anyone else who got out, I didn’t even know anyone else did. I swear, I promise. Please,I didn’t know who Ryan was, I had no fucking idea, not until last night. I’mnot going to tell anyone, I’m not going to do anything, I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Somewhere in his brokenpleading, Ryan had called Geoff’s name again, and suddenly the older man isripped away from Jeremy and he slumps against the wall a little. Ryan hasgotten up, grabbed Geoff by the shoulder and yanked him away. His expression isgrim and Jeremy has never seen him look this deadly serious. Geoff opens hismouth to protest, but doesn’t. After a moment of tense silence, Ryan speaks up.

“If Jeremy says he didn’t know, then he didn’tknow.”

Nobody in the room speaks after that. Geoffand Ryan stare at each other, Ryan’s hand still on Geoff’s shoulder, Geoffdefiantly setting his jaw. Jeremy glances around the room, sees Michael slowlylowering the gun and staring at Ryan with a bewildered expression, sees Gavinin the corner looking vaguely horrified (he’s kicking himself really, becauseRyan had him look into Jeremy all those months ago didn’t he, but he thoughtnothing of it, only did a surface check. If only he’d looked a little deeper, maybe Ryan wouldn’t have endedup bloody bringing the guy here), sees Jack hovering near Gavin glancing withopen curiosity between Ryan and Jeremy. Because, you see, calling Jeremy afriend is one thing, but the only people Ryan has ever truly trusted in his life as far as the Fakesknow is them. And earning Ryan’strust is not an easy feat to accomplish, either. Really, the fact that Jeremyhas somehow wormed his way into Ryan’s heart enough for the man to totally andcompletely trust him is one thing, but the fact that the others have never heard Ryan breathe so much of aword about him is extremely telling of how much damage these past months have doneto them. Not just as a crew, but as a family.

Eventually, Geoff lets out a long sigh andnods. Whatever facial expression conversation the two of them were having seemsto be over and apparently Ryan trusting that Jeremy isn’t about to stab themall in the back is enough for now. Geoff wordlessly walks into the kitchen andsnags Jack’s arm on the way out, pulling her along with him. “What the fuck,Ryan?” Michael snaps, more out of confusion than genuine anger now. Ryan glaresover at him and Michael mumbles, “wow, okay, fine” before shoving the gun inthe back of his jeans and limping as angrily as possible after Geoff and Jackas well. Ryan’s gaze turns to Gavin, who purses his lips and takes a stepforward. Ryan doesn’t want to talk to him right now though, doesn’t want totalk to any of them really for leaping to conclusions about Jeremy like that, fucking hell, they don’t even know him. Maybe that’s partially hisfault, but shit, when was he meant to bring up that he had a massive crush on aguy while they were meant to be undercover? He looks over at Jeremy now,leaning against the wall, still looking half scared to death, pale as a sheetand shaking. Ryan deflates a little bit at the sight and reaches for him. Jeremyseems to jerk into reality, and looks up at Ryan’s face with wide eyes,standing up and reaching out towards him too. Ryan pulls him in for a hug,cradling him against his chest, careless of how it jostles his ribs. Jeremytakes a few deep breaths and Ryan lightly squeezes him reassuringly. He knows Gavin iswatching, he knows Gavin wants to talk to him. He can’t bring himself to care.He gently pries Jeremy off of him and holds him by the shoulders, leading himback outside. Gavin says his name softly but Ryan ignores him and closes thefront door behind them.

They’re standing on the porch and it’sstarted raining lightly outside and poor Jeremy still looks shell-shocked andRyan just wants to hug the shit out of him. But that would probably hurt themboth so instead he settles for asking, “Are you okay?”

Jeremy looks at him with a tiny frown. “I…”He opens and closes his mouth a few times, not seeming to be able to form thewords. Ryan doesn’t blame him. He knows Geoff – Ramsey – is a terrifying man to have on your bad side. Ryan heardJeremy talking not even a few hours ago about how he had always looked up tothe Fakes – another one of Jeremy’s hopes he supposes has just been shattered.Ryan gives him a sad smile. “Go home, Jeremy. My wallet’s inside. I’ll pay forthe taxi. Go home and try to get some rest. I’ll sort this out.”

Jeremy shakes his head. “What if they don’tbelieve you, Ryan?”

“They will,” he says firmly. He knows he canconvince the others to trust him – but Jeremy doesn’t.

“But what if they don’t? What if they didn’t believe me? Shit, I know theydidn’t. What if they come after me? What if you can’t stop them? I didn’t knowanything about what my boss was doing, Ryan, but they have me on a fucking hit list! I don’t have anywhere to go,Ryan, how am I supposed to go home? Gavin already looked up where I live, Jesus Christ, what if they think I’m-“

Ryan breaks off Jeremy’s ramblings by kissinghim.

They haven’t kissed before, not even comeclose, but it feels like it’s been a long time coming. Ryan presses his lips toJeremy’s and the shorter man melts instantly, tilting his head back andreaching for Ryan, fingers tangling in his shirt. Ryan cups Jeremy’s neck with one hand and the other man leans up on his tip toes as theydeepen the kiss. Jeremy tastes sweet and the air smells like rain and theirbeards scratch together and god, Ryanhas been craving this.

They break apart and Ryan half expects Jeremyto go catatonic, but it’s the complete opposite. Jeremy has stopped shaking,his shoulders have relaxed, and he’s giving Ryan a small smile. Ryan returns itwith a smile of his own. They don’t say anything more. They don’t need toreally. Jeremy trusts Ryan, and Ryan trusts Jeremy.

#fahc #fake ah crew #ragehappy #jeremwood #armadillos can write #this might as well go under my fanfic too #my fanfic #ask #prompt fill #jeremwood coffeeshop fahc au #this is like 6 pages on word fuck me #it is legit 3.1k words #this escalated from headcanon to drabble to practically a fic very quickly omg #thank you so much anon though like you might be the first one who’s ever sent me a bunch of asks wanting to share headcanons before <3 #I appreciate you a lot haha thank you again :')

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the-temple-pythoness · 8 years ago

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Emotionally Distraught // Albert Wesker x Reader (part 2)

-I really don't know what's with the sudden interest in Marcus or even in the internal affairs of Umbrella. It's all gone now, the man is as dead as Napoleon

-Umbrella still has many secrets that we need to uncover, we owe it to the victims...to know what really detonated the outbreak, it's hard to believe it was a simple 'leak', the coorporation had too much experience to let something like this go under the rug

-You're right, Umbrella was the primary Bioweaponary producer back then. Wilpharma, Tricell, all of them wanted Umbrella's technology to have the lead

-Like the cold war space race?

-Exactly

-So? what happened with Marcus? obviously it was the detonant of the Racoon City outbreak

-...Let's say it was, I want something in return tho...nothing weird, a couple of books

-Anything special?

-Of course, I'm very picky. you have paper?...El Aleph by Borges, The Shining by Stephen King and this month's Vogue magazine

-...A fashion magazine? really?

-I have my guilty pleasures, cop

-Right, now start spittin' what you know

-Where's the fire my good police officer? Like you said before I'm going nowhere...

-Maybe you won't but I will, and I'm not in the mood to play the 'good cop' part today

-ah, a ruined date perhaps...in red, that is.

-how did you-

-It's really easy to read you my 'good cop'. She's no good you know

-Wesker was a terrorist yet here you are covering his ass even dead

-At least he gave it all in the small time we had of peace, like I said he was as civilian as he could be...I remember our small dates, we would visit museums or small coffee shops

-Ok, ok. Start from the beggining, How did you end up in Umbrella and the research you did for them?

-It’s not like it was unusual, I finished college and my abilities got me a pasanty in the French HQ. I remember I was the yongest of the team, everyone else had more experience but lacked the fresh and exciting nature of newbies. I proved myself competent enough to be chief researcher in a certain proyect...

Maybe the silence that followed that statement was indicating something more sinister, or nothing at all but

-exactly what proyect?

but Leon will never know, at least by her mouth

-I was moved to Rockford Island where I met the bratty Ashford’s, their father was a man who had ethics, not like his children. One night he came to my room in a rush, almost barged in with a look in his face that I still remember, he asked me to move to the Antarctic base to keep tabs on Alexia...I couldn’t, she was far more anoying than her brother in Rockford

-So you’re telling me that you said no to your superior? I won’t believe that, it doesn’t-

-I went there, but I have a feeling that she knew who sent me so she made her presence a hundred times more insufferable. I had no choice than request to move to Racoon City

-Why Racoon City?

-I met Albert while I was in France, I remembered him talking about Alexia being in the Arklay Research Facility, and how much William hated her

-So THE Albert Wesker told you that for the shits and giggles? we have records that say that even Racoon City was a taboo topic because of Spencer’s direct sponsorship, it’s hard to believe that a man like Wesker would blab that info so easily

-Well...you did your homework officer Kennedy, but Al and I were both youngsters in position of power, he more than I, but still shared the same visions and struggled with the same things, Umbrella’s intern affairs weren’t easy and many got caught in the middle. Besides, Albert saw potential in me, a coworker and not only another faceless underling without brains

-In other words he wanted to recruit you to further his research

-Yeah, and I’m not going to lie to you, the sex was good.

If the context allowed it, Leon would have laughed, and actually snorted at the little blunt truth. Perhaps the scenario reminded him of his foolishness with certain spy, state of mind that almost always leaves him deranged, euphoric or angry

-you were right with Racoon City, I went there because dear Alexia couldn’t touch me if I was under direct protection of Lord Spencer. Even if I had not met Spencer back then, the place was like a black hole where everything was fair so far the Director was not perturbed

-so...

-I found myself in Racoon City, and believe me...the things I had to endure! Sergei was the worst. He used to distrust me because I came from the Antarctic and had strong ties with Chief Researchers Wesker and Birkin, besides he was the hag’s bitch so he had a sort of immunity. Once he tried to choke me to death! Thank God Al saved me from the sadistic bastard

-Could you tell me the research you did in Arklay?

-What I didn’t do?

-The other day you said you returned to an Eropean branch when dr Birkin became a ‘psycho’

-Ah yes, I returned to France when Al moved to the Intelligence division and returned in 96′ when S.T.A.R.S. was founded. I began to work in the underground lab with William again, HOWEVER

-however....

-William was bat shit insane by then, and his wife was not helping at all. He saw me as a threat to his research since I brought a new point of view from France, I also was the only one to argue with him that his practices were self destructive at best so...

-Why the long face?

-Wil got really mad at me once when I told him that he needed to ‘chill the fuck out’ and enjoy his time with Sherry, he grabbed me by the neck and would let me go, a guard that passed by had to restrain him or else he would kill me

-Knowing you, you left the same day

-yeah, but it took me the whole night to put my shit together. It was Wil, the same dorky Wil that was head over heels for his wife, the Wil that used to comfort me when the Colonel was an ass. It was so hard...

-So I left in the morning, packed my things and went stright to Albert didn’t care that he was in the Police Department undercover, I was scared and felt betrayed and had nowhere to run to. I remember that, when I made a beeline to the receptionist everyone was looking at me

-I said that I was a family member of Al and they just let me in, perhaps they weren’t used to random people asking for a specific member of S.T.A.R.S, or maybe the lady was too underpaid to care. Whatever, Albert was really mad at me for being at the station, all of the other member saw me and had no choice but introduce me as his girlfriend. So when we were finally alone and told him everything he was still mad, but I guess relieved I wasn’t dead, he lend me his house keys and started living together formally until the events of the Mansion

-You were quite a chatter today, what happened? change of heart?

-not really, it hurts that’s all. Wil hurts, Sherry hurts, Al hurts, what could have been hurts too

-He didn’t die, he was alive so he must have warned you of the biohazard threat

-...

-I already knew of the contaminated area, but...Albert really died that night. He...the man...he just...he was gone. The Al I loved did die, the possibilities were gone, the family, the love, the friends, what we built together WAS GONE ALL GONE, and suddenly I had a man with endless possibilities but I did not, I no longer had-have- what I wanted!

-a family, you wanted a white fence, a dog and the baby?

-You make it sound like something I should be ashamed of ‘coppy’, so what if I wanted that?! I had the chance so close but Spencer and company took that away from me! everything, Spencer took everything not only from me but from other people too, Sherry for example! I would have taken care of her so gladly, given her so much love

-I didn’t care about Umbrella, they can all rot in hell. I knew of Albert’s displeasure with the coorporation and at some point he would of have to leave for another rival company, and I would have followed because I don’t marry ethically corrupt companies that can turn their own employees into test subjects if they so desired with no one saying shit

-but he did that, he moved to Tricell and began working in Uroboros

-Oh don’t get me started!... He did left, so what? the man was gone, nothing more that a shell of what he used to be, but I stil......

....

-you probably think I’m stupid but...I followed, even when I knew he was a self destructive mess with a God complex, I followed, even when he manipulated Excella and allowed to rub her tits all over him...He was always a little too ambitious, something good in life that pushes you forward, but there’s a looooong distance from that to a mass murderer new world creator

If the tears that left the glossy eyes of the woman wasn’t an indicator of her sadness and hurt, maybe the quivering voice she forced out of her mouth was. A broken soul bared to the harshness of an interrogation room, but still a destiny she digged up herself, it moved something inside the interrogator’s gut and decided to end it here, that today was no longer a good time to continue anymore. Perhaps if she wasn’t this cooperative he would have followed anyways but torture was never his thing.

But the next day, as alarms went off in the prision facility that contained the woman he started to think that he should have insisted that day. Who helped her escape was quite clear, even if the individual was still unknown the affiliation was clear, even if the exact bioterrorist group or pharmaceuticals were also unknown. But now that he thinks about it, she didn’t tell him something that he didn’t know, just an insight of the events in her point of view after all, her exact relationship with the dead man was certainly irrelevant so far they knew she had access to vital info

But It doesn’t matter anymore.

Nothing really matters anymore

#albert wesker #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker imagine #fanfinc #writing #reader insert #resident evil #resident evil fic #Identification

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elosnotebook · 8 years ago

Text

PENETRATORS SQUAD IMAGINE (pt 7)

Imagine being the first and only girl in the Penetrator Russ bus. Author’s note: Here you have it, angels. As usual, a big thank you to Alyssa, @imyourliquor-youremypoison, for being the best beta writer in the world. I don’t even know what to say so, good reading, and if you feel like it, just give me a little feedback so I won’t freak out thinking you guys hated it hahahahah

Part 1. Part 6.

Part 8.

Masterlist ❁

I didn’t have to open my eyes to know Chris wasn’t by my side anymore. He always had this curse which made him wake up earlier than usual the morning after a party - which I must say was kind of annoying since he called me at 8am to talk about party details.

I rolled on his bed, fighting the urge to go to the bathroom since Chris was in the shower and the other bathroom was downstairs. I should not have drunk all that beer yesterday, I thought while licking my dry lips. I always hated hangovers.

When I couldn’t hold it anymore I took the first bad decision of the day. I opened Chris’ bathroom door and entered quickly, before he could scream at me.

“CAP! What the hell?” He screamed while grabbing the shower curtain t cover himself.

“Can you please keep your tone low? There’s a thing called a hangover and you’re making it worse,” I informed him. “Plus, I really had to take a piss.”

“There’s another bathroom in the house.”

“I couldn’t get there in time. Would you like me to pee on your carpet?” His brows knitted. “I’ll take it as a no. Now, stop looking. You don’t need to make it more awkward than it already is.”

He let go of the curtain.

“To piss,” he repeated, incredulous. “You don’t even sound like a girl.”

“I don’t think there’s a shittier comment to hear in 8am.” I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “For your information, there’s no such thing as ‘sounding like a girl’. The only thing required for you to sound like one is to be one. Stop making brainless sexist comments so early in the morning. Or at any other time of the day actually.”

“Ok, just don’t-”

I flushed, earning from Chris a high pitched scream when the water turned from hot to cold. I had to contain a laughter.

“Sorry. I-”

“Chris?” I heard William’s voice coming from the room.

Oh God. William. What would he think if he found Chris and I in a bathroom together? He would freak out, for sure.

And that was when I made the second bad decision of the day. Without actually thinking about it, I jumped in the shower with Chris. His eyes opened so wide I thought they were going to pop out while his jaw dropped. I covered his mouth with both of my hands at the exactly moment William swung the bathroom door open.

“Chris, you got any text from Cap? I tried to call her but she didn’t answer,” William said. A soft thud revealed he had just sat on the toilet.

I couldn’t help myself but smile. So, this is what they did while they were alone? Bathroom conversation about what on earth I could possibly be doing when I wasn’t with them? I withdrew my hands from Chris’ mouth. I saw in his eyes were how confused and lost he was. The Captain America shirt stuck to my body now that it was wet, and it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant feeling.

“I don’t know,” Chris finally answered, sounding absolutely not convincing. “She’s probably still sleeping,” he tried again.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” Will’s voice came from the other side of the curtain. “So… What was your last fight about?”

Chris’ body was all tensed up. His muscles were stiff, especially the abs, I noticed. I shouldn’t be noticing his abs, but we were together in the shower and the whole situation was already so ludicrous that I figured a little abs ogling couldn’t make it any worse. Before my eyes could go any lower, he grabbed my chin and made me look into his eyes, using two fingers to signify me I should keep my eyes up. I decided to turn my back to him so the temptation of looking down was out of the way.

“The same reason we’ve been arguing for two weeks,” Chris replied.

“I don’t know how you two are handling it, especially when you told me-”

“It’s hard but we’ll get through it,” Chris interrupted him, making me turn so I could raise an eyebrow.

What did he tell William that he didn’t want me to know? He gave me a nasty glance, and I went back to my position of staring at the wall.

“I hope soon, then.”

Chris didn’t answer right away, causing me to turn a little bit so I could find the reason why he wasn’t speaking anymore. The bastard was looking down. At my ass, to be more precise. I waved my hand before his eyes to put an end to his contemplation and made the ‘eyes up here’ movement with me fingers, just like he did to me. Once his eyes met mine, I mouthed “hypocrite”.

“Naked,“ he muttered back, pointing to himself. “Not naked.” He pointed to me.

“Answer William!” I pointed to the curtain.

He shook his head as if asking me what he should answer. I squeezed my eyes. “Pathetic,” I mouthed, soundlessly.

“So anyway,” William uttered. “I came here because I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Chris shot back.

“It’s about Cap…” William stated gravely.

I felt all the colors of my face fade away. My heartbeat echoed through my whole being in a loud thump. Was William about to tell Chris I like him?

Ok, I knew I didn’t specify William that he shouldn’t open his big mouth about it, but I thought it was obvious. I mean, if William came and told me something about my best friend, my first instinct wouldn’t be to tell him… Oh wait- It totally would.

“I thought you should hear this from me, since the whole bus already knows…” He continued.

The whole bus knows? Fucking hell William, what did you do? I felt my heart failing while I was staring at Chris. His eyes were showing a mix of confusion and curiosity. He was asking me with his eyes what William was talking about, but I couldn’t answer. And here I was, completely motionless and clueless about what to do to stop William from telling my biggest secret during a shower conversation.

“So,” William sighed heavily. “The truth is…”

Without thinking – again - I opened the curtain to stop William from saying whatever truth he was ready to spill out. His eyes went wide open and he fell from the toilet, smashing his head against the sink. I squeezed my eyes upon hearing the bang his head made. It hurt – that I could tell - and I bet it would hurt even more by tomorrow.

“What th-,” he was speechless.

“Hi, Will.”

I tried to smile at him, but William’s face was so surprised and angry that it was hard for me to find something to say that would justify my presence here. Chris turned off the shower and grabbed the closest towel to wrap it around his waist. He was as surprised as William, which Will noticed, making him to realize his anger should be directed at me.

“Cap? Do you mind explaining what you’re doing?” William shouted, still on the ground. It wasn’t so much anger as pure astonishment.

“I-” I opened my mouth and closed it three times.

I looked at Chris, asking for help but then I realized he must be even more clueless than William. I just had no idea how to explain that situation. So, out of nowhere, William started to laugh. Chris and I looked at each other, probably thinking the same thing: William had lost his mind.

“I knew you were messing with me!” He told us, which made everything even more confusing. “I told myself it couldn’t be true. You two planned out all that shit! I can’t believe I trusted

you!”

Ok. William definitely lost it.

“William, what are you talking about?” Chris asked.

“This whole love declaration thing! You guys couldn’t actually admit you have feelings for each other on the exact same day if it wasn’t a lie. I must say you almost fooled me.”

“WILLIAM!” Chris and I yelled at the same time. That was when he realized that the shock onour faces wasn’t fake at all. He fucked up big time.

“Oh, shit.” Was all he said.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Chris turning to me but I was unable to face him. My brain was having great trouble processing what I’ve just heard. My stomach felt like it was turned inside out.

“William, what are you talking about?” Chris asked him one more time.

By the tone of his voice, I could tell how hard was for him to find the right words. William just kept staring at both of us. If I was feeling clueless before, I couldn’t possible think about a word to qualify my current state, and I wasn’t the only one. I’ve never seen him so lost, and my heart ached for him.

“Look, you two can’t blame me for this one!” Will finally said and got up. “First, Chris came to my house because he needed to tell me something.” He turned to Chris. “I thought you were going to tell me something like you used my toothbrush!” He threw his hands in the air. “And then he said he was in love with my best friend – who’s also my ex-girlfriend - and he needed my help to get her out of her house so he could talk to her – which, I had to admit, was a complete surprise since I’ve never distrusted.”

“I know.”

It escaped from my mouth. Both of them turned their attention at me, and all I did was press my lips together. William decided to ignore me and continued to let his frustration speak.

“I was shaken up already after hearing this, but then you-“ he turned to me. “-decided to blurt your confession literally out of nowhere! No ‘William I need to tell you something’ or ‘Hey Will, did I mention before I am in love with your best friend?’. Chris at least had the decency to answer my questions about it.”

He was insanely mad. I wanted to speak up and tell him I was sorry but I didn’t know what I should say or how I should say it.

He took a deep breath. “Now, you two talk it out and resolve the damn situation yourselves!” He opened the door. “Don’t forget to think about what you’re going to say to the Penetrators after this.” And he left, slamming the door behind him.

Chris and I stood there, staring at it. I was going to force anything to come out of my mouth to end the silence when the door opened again.

“I forgot to mention,” William said. “I really want you two to be happy. You’re perfect for each other, so stop being buttheads and admit it already. I love you both, but you better not drop some fucking bomb to my lap anytime soon or I’ll kill you both and feed my tigers with your dead bodies.”

“You don’t have any tigers.” I pointed out, completely surprised that I still knew how to talk.

“That’s what I let you think.” He smiled and winked before proceeding to close the door again.

“Wait, Will. What were you going to say to Chris about me?” I asked him before he could leave.

“I was going to tell him about the Theo situation,” he said, then was his time to realize something. “What were you doing in Chris’ shower fully clothed?”

“Yes, Cap. Why did you get in my shower to begin with?” Chris questioned.

I felt my face turning to red.

“I heard William’s voice, and I panicked! I thought he might got the wrong idea if he found me in the bathroom while you were taking a shower!” I shouted, frustrated.

“Right. Seeing us together in the bathroom is completely unacceptable but opening the curtain

is totally,” he raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

I bit my lips. I was too embarrassed to tell the actual reason why I did it, but William was too smart.

“You thought I was going to tell Chris, didn’t you?” he frowned. “Don’t you trust me, Y/N?”

“Of course I do, Will!” I said, without hesitating. “I just freaked out.”

“I should let you two talk. Please, be nice to each other. If any of you calls me to tell me you had a fight I swear the tiger threat won’t remain a threat.” He closed the door.

We were still standing in the bathtub. I had no idea what to tell Chris and I knew he was as lost as I was. I avoided eye contact, but as soon as he turned the shower on again, my eyes searched for his. He turned his back to me. At some point, he dropped the towel by his side. My t-shirt was totally wet, so was my hair.

“Remember our first Penetrator party?” He blurted out.

“Perfectly.” I answered, trying to understand where he was trying to get with that question.

“We decided our first challenges there,” he continued. I wanted him to turn so I could see his face, but he didn’t. “The leader of the Penetrators at the time, you remember?”

I smiled with the memory.

“He wasn’t my challenge, Chris. I didn’t hook up with him,” I laughed a little bit.

“Oh, I know, but you remember what you did to him?” Now he had turned to face me, giving me his usual grin.

“Of course. I told you I was going to break the ice between he and I, and I did.” I got a little closer.

“I wish I knew how literal you were being when you said that. When you went to talk to that boy, stuck your hand in his drink, grabbed the ice and threw it on the floor… I just couldn’t believe my own eyes.”

“Well, I do have this effect on people,” I joked. His hands found their way to my waist.

“That was the moment I knew how fucked I was,” he whispered.

I felt my smile grow bigger and my cheeks color up, making me wonder if his words were causing it or the hot shower atmosphere.

“So you fell for me because I challenged the leader of the Penetrators? That’s…” I frowned. “I don’t know. Weird?”

“Oh, you think that’s weird? How about the current situation we’re in? I’m naked. You’re only half dressed. Our best friend just spilled out our biggest secret because he thought we were pranking him,” he smiled to me. “Weird is our thing, Cap.”

I took the Captain America shirt and threw it in the corner of the bathroom, showing my red lingerie. Good thing I was planning to get some at the party yesterday, so I was prepared for a moment like this one. Or at least, the most prepared I could be.

“I will never get used to this view.” With a finger he traced the outline of my panties.

I just lost it.

“Ok, are you planning on cutting the crap and kissing me anytime soon? Seriously, look at my head. My hair is going to start to turn grey at any moment now.”

And with that, he kissed me. I could swear I heard some fireworks in the background. His tongue slipped into my mouth and he pulled me closer, dragging me under the hot water with him. Since my mouth was too busy and the water was making it very hard to breath, I moved back to stare him. His hands were gliding every inch of my body, and they stopped on my ass.

“We’re such a cliché.” He leaned in to kiss my neck, giving me goosebumps.

“We’re not,” I chuckled when he bit my neck. “We would be one if I was a good girl, who played by the rules, and then, one day I got into your life, and you decided I was the best thing that ever happened to you.” He turned me around abruptly, which caused me to hit the soap dish. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“But the fuckgirl and the fuckboy?” I continued. He pushed my wet hair off my shoulder to expose the back of my neck, intending to let his lips leave little bruises where they touched touching my skin. “The ex-girlfriend and best friend of your best friend? The girl who slept with more girls than you? Please, we’re far from being cliché material, Schistad.”

He stopped the kisses. “You didn’t sleep with more girls than me,” he whispered. “And even if you did, every time we had a little competition about guys, I won.”

“Most of them were gays! That’s why you won!” I screamed at him.

“That Josh guy wasn’t. Remember when he swore to you he was straight?” I ran my nails along his neck, grinning as he shuddered against me.

“Was it before or after you stuck your tongue down his throat?” I licked his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer.

He pretended he had to think about it.

“Definitely after.”

And he kissed me again. This time it was so much more possessive. He started to slide down my panties while my hands instinctively ran through his wet hair. He pushed me against the wall and got rid of my bra. I let a low moan to tumble down my lips, which only give Chris more confidence. He smirked while grinding against my hips, teasing me.

I was about to wrap my legs around his waist when Chris stepped on the soap and, unbalanced, managed to fall and take the curtain with him.

“Of course! OF COURSE!” I put my hand on my forehead. “You just had to slip on a soap on our first time,” I said, trying my best not to laugh, but not doing a good job about it.

His laugh filled the room, louder than mine, despite the fact that it probably hurt like a bitch. “I’m fine, by the way, thank you for asking.” He rubbed the part of him that took the blow. “Maybe this is God’s way of telling us we should wait until marriage to have sex.”

I extended my hand to help him, but once he grabbed it, he pulled me. On my way to the ground, my knee hit him in the stomach, earning a groan from him.

“Oh my God, Chris! I am so sorry,” I said, giggling.

“Yeah. I can see how sorry you are by your laughter.” He rested his head on the floor. “Maybe God is just saying we’re not meant for each other.”

While he was mumbling about religion and stuff, I was concentrating on turning off the shower with my foot.

“I’ve seen girls do any kind of acrobatics in bed, but turning off a shower with their feet wasn’t one of them,” he told me, once I finally turned it off.

“I’m nothing like the girls you’ve been with,” I said, resting my head on his chest. If someone told me I was going to lay on the cold bathroom floor, fully naked with Chris one week ago, I would probably have had them sent to the nearest mental institution.

“I’ve waited so long to finally be with you, I can wait a few hours more to hear you scream my name,” he teased.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I said, turning to face him. “But I’m a quiet person in bed. I don’t scream.”

“Oh, when I’m done with you, you will. You definitely will. You will teach my name to the whole neighborhood.” He tried to move, but it must have hurt because he gave up.

“If I remember well, Christoffer, the last time we played, you were the one that didn’t last so long, and you caught me on a bad day.” I winked at him. “You have no idea what my mouth can do on a good day.”

“I can’t wait to find out, then.” He bit his lips, and I had to look to the ceiling so I wouldn’t get horny again.

“What are we going to tell them?” I blurted out.

Now that it was finally happening, I couldn’t let go of the fear I was feeling. The idea of losing the Penetrators because of it terrified me more than anything I could think of. The idea of never hearing Henrik’s laugh, or playing video games with July, or sleeping over Theo’s again just made my stomach sick.

Oh my God. Theo. What can I possibly say to him?

“I don’t know,” Chris admitted, making me focus on him again. “How about we keep this as a secret until we find out where this is going? What if it doesn’t work?”

Chris didn’t need to say it out loud but I knew he was as afraid as I was. The Penetrators were his family too and losing them would hurt him as much it would hurt me.

“Ok. Hiding a relationship can’t be that hard anyway.” I shrugged. “Unless William tells on us.”

“Yeah, I bet it’s not. Now, let’s get up so I can make you one of my delicious breakfast. I am almost 90% sure you began to like me because of my cooking skills.” He gave me a peck and started to get up, making faces to show how painful it actually was. “You comin?”

“I’ll be there in twenty. Just let me take a proper shower, without distractions.” I smiled.

He nodded and left, closing the door to give me privacy. I looked up to stare the ceiling - something, I realized, which was becoming a habit - and I asked myself, smiling, a question I haven’t pondered on in ages: How the hell did I get here?

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