#actually do i want them to share their senses or

[transselkie]

I think that what it comes down to is that they don’t want them to be human people. They want the fantasy of a generic controllable wife. I think there are many ways in which these being “turn offs” are actually about them having unique lives of their own and active participation in their own community.

I don’t think it’s a conscious sentiment, but a subliminal association. If she takes pictures of her food to share with the masses, what else is she willing to document? If she dyes her hair, gets piercings, and cute accessories, she is displaying an active use of her own free will and agency. A culture that has taught them to perceive the “ideal woman” as docile, controllable, and endlessly forgiving has taught them to flag these as threats against their patriarchal rights over them.

And it’s a deep, systemic issue. Individually these men might regard themselves as feminists, and truly believe that about themselves. By some accounts they very well may be. But the idea that women are people with rights is a lot easier to swallow when it is not directly a threat to your own ego and desire to get what you want without really trying. But also the idea that they might have inherited any sense of toxic patriarchal values is also a threat to their own ego and self perception so they never really do the work to deconstruct why these innocuous things sound so bad to them.

And I say these things as a transgender man. As someone who has been let into these conversations in a way that I was once on the outside of. If transition has taught me anything in life it is that when you spend your whole life in one circle it becomes very easy to miss the dynamics in play. Crossing the aisle, so to speak, has given me a much stronger context for the thoughts and feelings of people on both sides. Men feel the pressure of societal change in a very threatening way. They are, for once, the ones under the microscope. And they don’t want to be the bad guy. They don’t think they are. Often times they aren’t really. But anything that might challenge them becomes a direct attack on their own personal decency. And so they avoid anything that signifies it might be willing to challenge.

The longer I exist as a loudly proudly gay man the more I think that cishet men aren't actually attracted to women.

[reavesluv]

Cameras

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x influencer fem!reader.

Summary: You and Paige are big figures in the internet, Paige just came out to the world as a lesbian and you've always been open about your sexuality. So your managers got a plan.

Fake dating + she plays hard to get

Part 1.

Part 2. “Moving to Dallas.”

notes: Im sorry if this is so bad i honestly have writers block right now 😔

You never thought a fake relationship could change your life in so many ways as it did now that you’re with Paige.

Honestly, Paige wasn’t so bad at all. You two shared a lot of time together while pretending to be lovers, it was actually fun.

Going together to a mall, date nights, park walks with your little Pomeranian called “Cherry.” – Which Paige loves, by the way.

“Cherry! Come here!” You screamed, running behind your dog.

“Y/N, is a damn park. She’s not gonna leave!” Paige screamed watching you run around.

“I don’t care, what if someone steals her?” You screamed back.

“Oh gosh.” She thought. “What did i do to get involved with this girl?”

Paige started running your way to make you stop chasing Cherry.

She was faster than you, obviously. So it wasn’t long until you felt her arms wrapped around your waist making you stop.

You were a little sweaty, trying to calm your breath. But she hugged you anyway.

“I promise you, she’s not gonna leave.” Paige said, wiping away your sweat with her hand.

“Fine.” You pouted. “But if she leaves, i’ll leave you.”

She laughed, amused at what you said. “Oh, you wouldn’t.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, no. But anyway you’re gonna have to find her.”

She chuckled. “Okay, love.”

Oh, love.

Paige had no idea how much you actually cared about her, and she just loved to make all the “pretending” stuff so difficult for you.

“Come here and sit with me, we’ll take some pictures while Cherry plays around.” She adds.

“Okay, sure.” You answer, smiling at her like an idiot.

Being with Paige became more than just a “fake relationship.” But, you were not sure if it was only you, or if she felt the same way.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Now you were packing your things, your life, inside three suitcases to move to Dallas, literally the other fucking side of the country.

Draft night was pretty fun, Paige being number one overall pick was amazing, you couldn’t deny that you were really proud of her.

“Congrats, Paige.” You say. Standing up from the table you both were to give her a hug.

“Thanks, pretty.” She answered.

“You’re just teasing me.” You chuckled.

She got closer to your ear so no cameras could record what she was saying.

“Maybe, but is not difficult to pretend i’m not, right?” She said. And after that, she left the table to grab her Wings jersey.

It killed you the fact that Paige loved to pretend. Because that was what she was doing, just pretending.

The after party was worse, everyone blackout drunk, messing around other people. And Paige was definitely one of them.

“Fuck Y/N, you look insanely gorgeous tonight.” She says, getting closer to you. She smelled so much like alcohol you could tell she was not in her five senses.

“Thank you Paige, but you’re too drunk to think.”

“Am i? Naaaahh.” She took another sip of her drink. “Bet you love pretending to be with me.”

“What?” You asked, curious.

“Yeah, don’t lie to me Y/N. I know you love to walk around while everyone thinks i fuck you.”

“Is not like that, Paige.”

“Isn’t it?” She said wrapping an arm around your waist. “Because we could stop pretending and you should let me fuck you.”

Your heart started beating so fast, you didn’t know what to say or do.

“Paige–” You took a deep breath. “I’m taking you home.”

She smirked. “Oh really, now?”

“Yeah, but is not like that. You’re too drunk, and you’re not even gonna remember this tomorrow.”

“Come on, baby. You know you want to.”

Fuck, it was really so difficult for you.

“Whatever Paige, but not tonight.” You ended.

She pouted at you. “Can i at least get a kiss? So the cameras can have a little pic of us going around, y’know.”

Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode. “Ye–ah.?” You tried to answer.

And that was it.

She kissed you. Like she loved you.

And you knew she didn’t.

Next morning, she didn’t remember. Neither of you saw pictures.

So she never knew she kissed you.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Do i really have to?” You ask Lena.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But yes, if you wanna keep up with all of this, you need to move in with her.”

“I didn’t expect you would tell me to move in when she got drafted!”

“Well it was obvious, wasn’t it?”

“No.”

Paige was already in Dallas, waiting for you.

You had to text her to tell her the new plan your managers came up with, she didn’t seem bothered by it.

Paige, i have to move in with you, did you hear?

Yeah, Louis told me

You okay with that?

Yeah, i guess we can work it out

Okay, i’ll be on the first plane to dallas tomorrow morning

Alright, i’ll see you then

You weren’t ready, like, why would you be ready to move in with someone you’re not even dating, and worse, in the other side of the country?

The plane landed on dallas. You were not a texas type of girl, so everything was going to change.

Some of the stuff and furniture you had to bring with you from LA was in another plane, so you had to wait for it.

Paige, i’m in texas!

That’s good Y/N, i’m heading to the airport right now

Okay, thank you

see you there, love

Your eyes brightened when you saw her. In a slick back ponytail, nike dunks and baggy jeans.

“Heeey.” You said.

“Hey, welcome to our new city.” She answered.

You chuckled and hugged her softly. “Is it good in here?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Just a bit hot, though.” she laughed.

You both chuckled. Paige noticed you had a worried look on your face, so she held your hand softly.

“We’ll make this work Y/N. We complement each other.”

“Yeah, i know.” You sighed. “I just really miss California.”

She chuckled. “Hey, but at least you have me.”

You chuckled back. “You’re right. I’m here, but with you.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

finally part 2, i’m so sorry, im a lazy writer 🤓

tags! @niya500

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

benjamin ‘dex’ poindexter + animalistic, primal sex = some real nasty filth.. 18+ fem!reader. 807 words cw. spit, usual filth,creampie. mdni I am actually ovulating rn so im scientifically and justifiably horny

⎯ ☆ ⎯

dex had you right where he wanted you, in every sense of the word. 

body and mind completely and utterly in tune with him above, your focus still quite sharp despite it being over an hour in. 

you lay beneath him on his bed, ankles lazily crossed over his lower back — both hands pinned above your head by his singular one. tight grip to ensure they stay in place. his other hand rests firmly under your jaw, palm pressed to your throat to keep your head tilted back. essentially allowing him free-roaming access to you.

his face is close, open mouth ghosting your chin as he breathes heavily against it. his cock continuing to skillfully, orderly, drill into you, a precise pattern of each thrust naturally being put into place over time. sweaty, sticky skin practically fused together.

every snap of his hips elicits deep, guttural pants from you, each roll of his dick knocking all the more sense out of you. you truly were going cockdrunk and dex loved it. he loved to watch the lust cloud your eyes, to see them grow heavy and flutter closed. to watch your brows knit and twist, to watch all of your internal feelings rise to the surface — allowing him to see on your face just how good he’s making you feel.

he nips at your chin, holding the fleshy boney point between his teeth for a few seconds before sealing it with a kiss. soothing over it with a small tender act. he adjusts over you, face getting closer to your own.

“you’re all mine,” he utters, eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes.

his thumb itches upwards and begins to run along your lips, pad tracing your parted mouth — his eyes following the movements. he applies faint pressure to your bottom row of teeth, the action silently instructing you.

“open up,” he whispers, never once faulting in the rhythm of his thrusts. 

you do as asked and open your mouth up more. he lines up with you and spits onto your tongue, the lewd act like he’s claiming ownership. continue to brand you as his despite no change being made to your relationship. 

maybe he was just feeling particularly territorial tonight.

he closes your mouth in a similar way to how he opened it: thumb pushing your lips together, holding it there for a moment like he was getting you to swallow. he taps your cheek as if to offer you silent praise, dark eyes keen as he watches yours light up beneath him.

dex presses a quick half kiss to your lips and sits back on his heels, simultaneously releasing your arms and face in the same motion. you waste no time reaching for him, your fingers wrapping themselves around his wrists, holding onto him as he in turn holds onto you: grasp firm on the sides of your waist, grabbing and dragging you to meet his thrusts. 

his gaze leaves yours and diverts down to the lewd view below, his eyes intently following the messy plunging of his cock into you. and while his attention remains solely on you, yours does him. you watch the flexing of his biceps, the way the muscles bulge and tense, the veins that run the expanse of his arms growing more and more prominent.. 

he finds himself growing lost in you, the way you feel and the way you sound all hindering any remanence of his control. he was growing pussy drunk, completely and utterly disorientated within you.

you too shared a similar, very similar, experience. the new angle hits into you differently, the change pushing you further and harder towards the edge. and without much time to prepare, you reach it again for the umpteenth time tonight. cunt convulsing and clamping around him with your climax, hips jittering and grinding against him.

your orgasm knocks him off his tracks and he joins you mere seconds later. head tilting backwards, deep, full pants falling from his lips — the intensity of it all stripping him of breath.

his drilling winds down to an eventual halt, cock stilling inside you before he pulls out. his eyes lower to watch the rather vulgar, messy display: his cum slowly seeping from your cunt, leaking down and onto his sheets. and he saves yet another mental image for safekeeping.

dex eases himself into you once more, cock growing soft and sensitive from its extensive use. and with the full length of his dick nicely snuggled inside again, he hovers over you, propping his weight on forearms beside you. 

the darkness in his eyes subsides and what replaces it is far sweeter, far more tender. he soothes over the marks he had made earlier on: sealing kisses into the reddened patches along your chest and neck, replacing the hurt with something much more gentle. 

⎯ ☆ ⎯

[maidenvault]

It’s weird seeing so many takes painting them both as total monsters after what happened on Ghorman, when the whole point is they aren’t. They’re human people with this very human relationship but Dedra still does what she does and Syril still allows himself to be used by a horrible system, and Dedra’s only regret is how crushingly hollow it feels to win and get the recognition for a job well done when she can’t share it with Syril.

Syril and Dedra have a very messed up relationship but they do care about each other. Even after Syril leaves Dedra after choking her in a rage over what she’s done he is not willing to let somebody kill her. As cathartic as it must be after all the time he’s hunted him, it’s why he attacks Cassian without thinking.

But I don’t think Syril ultimately would have hesitated to shoot Cassian if he didn’t genuinely have some doubt about whether he’s been on the right side all this time and feel some true horror about what is about to happen to Ghorman. He’s very confused, and it’s just way too late for it to matter. Dedra just told him everyone on Ghorman is going to die, whether it’s as victims of the massacre or when they destroy the planet - he just helped make it easier for the Empire to control the narrative about it and no fighting back in that plaza is really going to matter.

I think the tragic thing about Syril is in his own weird way he has a sense of integrity and that makes him not totally fit in, but also is easy for the right person to exploit. The creepy shit he says to Dedra to explain why he feels drawn to her is totally sincere. He first learns of Cassian as a guy who got away with murdering two officers, and he’s disgusted that his superior wants to sweep it under the rug. But he’s had a fairly comfortable life seeing little of the bigger picture of the Empire, he can’t imagine things any other way and just takes it for granted that serving the Empire is right. Syril has this extremely arrogant conviction that he’s right, he’s truly loyal, he’s not just some middle-class nobody who doesn’t deserve any of the favors he’s gotten, and almost no one can live up to his high standards of what’s just. And of course that makes it extremely frustrating that he’s disgraced after Cassian and Luthen run circles around him on Ferrix, which really could have happened to anyone, when he initially was one of the only people who even cared about catching Cassian.

I think Syril truly believes that if he can only make enough of a good impression and get in a room with the right people, the Empire will recognize and reward him for that kind of integrity. But he learns from Dedra, who’s much higher up in the chain and has been more personally connected to the Empire her whole life, what true loyalty to the Empire actually means. That all it rewards is unquestioning compliance, not being an “individual.”

Parts of the article where Denise Gough is talking about Dedra and her feelings for Syril. Girl is down bad. I want to see her kill Partagaz in revenge (Won't ever happen)

[thewritingfairy]

This is so funny because just today I was hoping you would upload a new chapter and immediately when I check Tumblr you updated. I swear we share the same mind! Anyways u love chapter 12 pookie, Damian is very much self reflecting in his own way slowly but surely but I want to know, who is out off all the batfam the worst yandere because in my opinion I think its either Jason or Alfred.

Phone format, Chapter mentioned: 13. Damian attempts self-reflection

This is actually very funny, because I update whenever I have a random burst of inspiration for this story. (Its also why the chapters are often short or multiple after each other because I go from writing to no motivation to sudden motivation). And sometimes I just take days or weeks to write.

But the worst yandere...

Honestly? It depends from which angle you look at it.

When it comes to betrayal? Tim (also delusional). Especially since he knows what it's like to be neglected, he knows how much damage it brings and you thought you would have some solidarity with him. You don't care for his reasons, you simply care for his actions.

When it comes to possessiveness, Damian and Jason. For obvious reasons, Damian has an obsession with blood relations and Jason's possessiveness is actually a plot line so I can't spoil too much. But he basically sees you as a better version of his mother that he failed to protect and keep alive before, so now he wants to ensure you cannot leave them. Because if you leave you'll be like his mother. And you don't want that now do you?

When it comes to protectiveness, Cass, Bruce and Barbara. Cass feels immense guilt for ignoring your pain, so she'll attempt to shield you from more even if it means kidnapping you or locking you up. Barbara is in the same boat but also because she knows how hard it was at first to become disabled, so she feels guilt for not being there for you. And Bruce is Bruce, with his obsessive plans, his canon nature is already a bit shit, his yandere side just makes it all worse. And when it comes to protectiveness? Eventually you'll won't be able to breath without someone monitoring you if he had his way.

When it comes to delusional Alfred, Dick and Stephanie. We've all seen how Alfred acts, like a piece of shit and he honestly thinks your behaviour is just a fase. Dick feels the need to protect everyone and to be loved by everyone, so he's mainly delusional. He makes himself think that you do love them and still want to be with them (you don't). Stephanie doesn't really want to acknowledge how she has hurt you, so she pretends you guys are okay but she feels the need to keep you (in a sense) so that you'll no longer get hurt.

The easiest would be Duke.

Duke knows what you want, so he'll always take your side. Especially with your past and his own morals. Duke doesn't throw away what he stands for simply because he feels an obsessive need to protect you or to lock you up. No. But he might come with you to everything check if everything is safe and then pretend to leave but he's actually just stalking at a respectful distance and out of sight (from everyone !!!)

I also would like to note that there is no such thing as respectful stalking in real life. Fiction doesn't equate to what's healthy in real life. also you got happy because I updated? Pls, you've made my day, I needed that before my exam tomorrow.

[thoughtwriter]

multitudes - part 2

summary -> your first pub golf and you meet the one and only arthur tv who is infatuated from the moment he lays eyes on you

PART - 1, 2, 3, 4

wc -> 1.1k

masterlist | main masterlist | requests

the next morning came with a headache, two empty water bottles on your nightstand, and three missed dms. the first was from chris.

chrisMD: you’re a menace. flamingo facts live rent-free. next time: pub quidditch.

the second was a video from max fosh - shaky footage of you and arthur mid-“valerie,” yelling into a pub mic like you were auditioning for a sitcom about two people falling in love via amy winehouse.

and the third… was from arthur.

no text. just a selfie. slightly disheveled hair, duvet pulled up to his chest, sleepy grin. and a message quickly following it - still thinking about cube poop and diet-pink birds. brunch?

your heart betrayed you immediately. it did that weird little stutter - like it forgot how to beat for one full second before coming back with a crash.

you met up that afternoon at a tiny place in notting hill he insisted had “the best hash browns this side of london.” he wasn’t wrong. but if you were being honest, you barely tasted them.

because arthur in the daylight was a different kind of disarming.

gone was the pub-haze version: flushed cheeks, alcohol bravado, and silly commentary. in its place was something quieter - more deliberate. his hair still did that annoyingly perfect floppy thing, and his voice was still soft in that way that made everything he said feel just a bit more important.

he sipped his coffee. “so, still full of weird facts?”

you grinned. “always, it’s a condition. completely incurable.”

“tragic. guess i’ll have to stick around and suffer through it.”

“poor you.”

he laughed. but then he set down his fork and leaned forward, elbows on the table like he was about to confess something. the restaurant noise dulled around you, even though you knew it hadn’t actually changed.

“listen, i meant what i said last night.”

you blinked. that could mean several things.

arthur seemed to sense your uncertainty, so he clarified. “about liking you. before. and now. well, even more now.” he scratched the back of his neck like the words itched coming out. “it’s weird, right? one night and suddenly i can’t stop thinking about you.”

your stomach twisted, but not in a bad way. you just weren’t used to someone saying something like that and meaning it - especially not someone like arthur. smart, emotionally fluent, and possibly half-made of charm.

you could’ve made a joke. deflected. but you didn’t want to. not with him.

“it’s not that weird,” you said. “i’ve been thinking about you too.”

there. out. no take-backs.

arthur looked down at his coffee for a beat. then up at you. his gaze sharpened - focused in that quiet, attentive way he did when he was listening not just to what you said, but how you meant it.

“would it be crazy if i said i wanted to get to know you properly?” he asked. “off-camera. no pub golf. no chaos. just… you.”

you smiled. “only slightly. but I’m not particularly sane either.”

“brilliant,” he said, beaming.

that brunch turned into a walk, which turned into a shared playlist, which somehow turned into you guesting on one of arthur’s videos three weeks later.

it wasn’t planned. at least, not by you.

you were just in the background, originally. sitting off to the side while he filmed a lighthearted reacting to terrible tiktok advice bit. but at some point, he turned the camera toward you and asked, “as a certified facts machine, what’s your opinion on this guy’s take that drinking lemon water cures heartbreak?”

you blinked. the camera was rolling. but more importantly, he was looking at you like you were the only person in the room.

so you said something snarky about citric acid and unresolved emotional trauma. arthur laughed so hard he wheezed.

the comments the next day were brutal in the best way.

randomuser1 - sorry but WHY do they have more chemistry than every netflix couple ever?

randomuser2 - arthur’s in love and we’re all just watching it happen like a nature doc

randomuser3 - if they don’t do a podcast or start dating immediately, i will RIOT.

you tried to ignore them. you really did.

but then arthur sent you a screenshot of one with the caption - let’s give the people what they want?

and that was that.

still, not everyone knew. not yet.

you were careful - meeting late, taking back entrances, always arriving and leaving events separately. it wasn’t that you were hiding. you just… wanted to keep it yours a little longer. before the internet tried to rename it and ship it and pick it apart.

but at another ‘youtube gathering’ - this time a chilled game night at willne’s - you forgot to be subtle.

you were sitting on arthur’s lap, his arms loosely draped around your waist as you quietly roasted him for his uno strategy. willne walked by, did a double take, and yelled, “OH, IT’S HAPPENING!”

everyone looked. phones came out. chris shouted something about being best man at the wedding. niko started filming. you were done for.

arthur just smirked and pressed a kiss to your shoulde, “guess we’re public now.”

later that night, the two of you slipped onto the balcony to breathe. the london skyline sparkled beneath you, the kind of fake-romantic that only works when you’re a bit drunk and deeply infatuated.

arthur leaned against the railing beside you, his knuckles brushing yours.

“you know,” he said softly, “that flamingo fact really did it.”

“you laughed. “you’re never letting that go, are you?”

“never. it was the moment. everyone saw it. even me. i just didn’t know how to admit it yet.”

you turned to face him, your smile slow and full. “and now?”

he stepped closer, closing the distance until there was only the buzz of shared breath between you.

“now i’m all in.”

and then he kissed you - soft and sure and entirely off-camera.

something real.

part three out tmr!!

tags - @wherethezoes-at

[mi-co-uk]

empty pages

─── expired reader has been told she's dying. but how much does it matter if she wanted to anyway? best friend matt is heartbroken to be losing the girl he never shared his feelings for - until now.

expired reader x matt

a/n NOT PROOFREAD IM LAZYY

warnings: mentions of sickness and treatment plans, consistent theme of death and dying aswell as suicidal thoughts. also matt is so cutie i need him to confess his love for reader NOW (i literally control when it happens 😐) vague mentions of panic attacks and nightmares. SERIES ITSELF will contain angst fluff and smut <3

wc: 1.5k

PART TWO

the creak of the swingset created a combination of annoyance and comfort. it echoed your childhood in a sense, the hours spent swinging (not too high) back and forth due to being far too scared of the slide.

you peered over at it - now having grown almost to the height of it, you didn't understand what you had been so afraid of.

the playground equipment was all rusted over, not even used by the kids who lived nearby. it wasn't the centre for making friends as it use to be. regardless, it still held the memory of where you met matt.

he hadn't been scared of the slide - he just couldn't get a turn. his rowdy brothers hogged it relentlessly, matt found their game funny initially but he grew tired of waiting for them to see him waiting.

the girl on the swing next to you was swaying obnoxiously, yelling to her mum about how high she was swinging on her own. you didn't understand how she was doing it physically, aswell as without fear.

"can I push?" after standing beside the poles that dug the swingset into the ground, he'd mustered to the courage to ask you a question. he felt kind of sorry for you, on your own in a park full of people.

he started off overly gentle, as if sensing your fear or being afraid to push you off it entirely.

it wasn't much but it was more than you could manage on your own. you also found yourself a little less scared.

you're on the same swing now - terrified, but for a different reason. now you were scared of dying - not from swaying too high on a swingset or falling from the well known dramatic height of a slide, but from your own body giving up on itself.

what hadn't changed was that you always had known that there wasn't much life in you.

the position of the swingset allows you to see over the horizon, admiring the pinkish tints of the clouds as you await matts return. you hear his scuffling behind you, his footsteps snapping the small branches laying across the floor. hear stands in front of you handing you a small pot of ice cream, a wide grin on his face as he giggles to himself. you smile in response, his laughter infectious as he sets himself on the swingset to your left.

"why are you laughing?" you can't help but continue giggling, his optimism always seemingly amplified around you.

his giggles heighten in response, "I dont know, I'm just excited"

"for the ice cream"

he giggles and nods in response. you chuckle and shake your head, licking the ice cream off your spoon. the laughter settles down, silently enjoying each other's company as you watch the sunset and savour your ice cream.

you've always been somewhat jealous of matt. despite his struggles with anxiousness and his unsurety in himself that have debilitated him a lot in life, he's always managed to make the most of himself. he's not entirely confident, but he manages. his life gets stressful, but he manages. it's an attribute you somewhat wish you had.

sometimes you wanna be better. you want to be happy and actually live for once but a life like that is so inconsistent. no one can ever be constantly joyful and living the life they want. you want something secure and death is the most assured thing there is.

matt notices the drop of your emotions much lower than before, nudging your knee with his. you look up to his comforting smile and sympathetic eyes. trust you to find a way to bring down the mood already.

"you okay?" matts first to break the silence, taking the final mouthful of ice cream and setting the tub down by the side of the swingset.

you mumble a 'yeah', obviously not filling matt with confidence that it's a genuine response.

"what u thinkin'?" he persists.

you hesitate before bringing it up. you wanted to avoid it but it's gonna come up eventually.

"I um, I had a call."

"yeah? with who?" matts eyes a fixed in your direction despite your bodies refusal to hold eye contact.

"the hospital."

short answers are less anxiety inducing. but they definitely also prolong the length of torture. matt stays silent, giving you the space to speak at your own pace.

"about treatments. well- a-an appointment to talk about them." you finally look back up to matt, unsure of whether to continue.

"when's that? I'll come with you."

"um. yesterday" you voice falters towards the end, becoming a mumble in lack of confidence.

matts eyebrows scrunch in vague confusion. "I didn't go." you confirm matts suspicions.

you were thoroughly aware that the consequences of bringing that up to matt before the appointment would result you in actually going. hence the fact you didn't mention it.

matts head is swarming with conflicting emotions. he doesn't want to push you into something but he also has an obvious overwhelming desperation to keep you around. and a way to do that is with your treatment.

"you don't want treatment?" matt finally responds.

you can only shake your head.

you finally stop moving around the remainder of your ice cream and set the pot down, gaining grip on the chain attached to your swing. you plant your feet more firmly on the ground, allowing you to look directly away from matt and his pity.

"I'm tired of being sick, matt. treatment might not even work. 'm not sure if it's worth it." you're not sure if you're worth it.

"but it also might work." matt tried desperately to maintain his outward calm. "you could try it."

"I dont wanna try it, matt, I don't even want it to work."

though he isn't the one dying, matt felt his life drain further from his body. every fibre of him wanted to convince you that you were wrong. he almost wanted to confess all his feelings in the hope it would give you the motivation to try - to live for him.

"I dont wanna go through all that just be depressed still by the end of it. I don't wanna keep being someone for everyone to worry about. I don't wanna people to think I wanted to try living because then it's as if I never suffered at all." the words spill out before you evaluate the weight of them. you're not trying to dump it onto matt you just need him to understand. "I'm not trying to make you pity me, matt I just-"

"I dont get to pity you, don't you get that? none of us do."

his gaze on you feels much heavier, less focused on being cautious of every word out his mouth.

"we don't get to pity you because we all know you want this."

"what, you sit around with everyone talking about how I'm a suicidal fuck up?" you accuse, tone of voice almost repulsed.

"of course not! we just know you're in pain! you always have been, mentally and now physically. I fucking hate it but there's obviously positives in it for you and it's undeniable. treatment might keep you alive but you said yourself it doesn't change your mental state and I've researched and it won't even end your pain, you just won't die."

he pauses, tears building at the brim of his eyes.

"I'm with you all the time. I see you panic attack after panic attack, nightmare after nightmare aswell as dealing with the pain attacks over and over, night after night. it's not fair on you to have to live like that. in fact I feel selfish because I want you alive despite that. I'd be there for you with that same pain cycle if it meant you were still around."

unknowingly, the tears have fallen from your own eyes, matt blinks his own away as he removes his gaze on you. youre at a loss for words. you'd neglected observing how other people were dealing with the situation - not completely but enough to have missed that others could see your death the way you see it. it was only a matter of time before yours and matts dynamic switched. you pitied him, it was an obviously complicated situation with no right response or perspective.

you reach your hand over to matts, he looks at your expression and makes a mental note of the pity in your eyes. he secures the grip of his hand in yours, fingers entwined with one another's. your hands hung inbetween the two swings.

"doesn't mean you can pity me either" matt forces a small smile, trying to lighten up the mood. he hadn't intended to let it all slip but he didn't entirely regret it either.

"'m sorry" you whisper and offer the same small smile back at him.

he chuckles a bit, "'s alright. why couldn't you be an asshole? then i wouldnt care this much." he leans his head against the chain of the swing closest to your own.

"I'm not?" you giggle.

"course not. you're you."

────୨ৎ────

NAVIGATION

AU MASTERLIST

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[bloodanna]

Yes!

I think one of my favourite things about this Manga is the care and patience that the story has when it comes to these two and especially Hirano.

Like, I would argue that in many ways Hirano and Kagiura fall naturally into a relationship that is something beyond "normal" friendship.

Something that looks/acts more a "normal" romantic relationship.

The only thing is that neither of them can/are willing to just put a label on it for fear of losing the other. For fear of "getting it wrong".

And I love that.

It feels so real. Like, I legit remember being in college and having someone confess that they liked me and then me angsting about it for, like, a year+.

Because what if what I feel isn't actually what they feel? Maybe it's too much or too little.

What I lose them in my life? I couldn't handle that.

What if I love them wrong? When they deserve so much to be loved properly.

Meanwhile we'd see each other every day, often shared a single armchair, and when they graduated we wrote back and forth all the time (like, we filled 2 - 3 Google docs to the point of being unusable due to lag....) and had scheduled weekly calls.

We were insane while being "just friends" and I feel like 'Hirano To Kurigua' is a manga gets that situation so well. It gets the feelings and the confusion and the angst and the joy of wanting while also having no words for exactly what/how you want. Especially when one of you in the situation is Allo and the other is Ace.

It feels like it gets the constant negotiations and concerns such a relationship can bring up/require and I think it is navigating them in such a kind, patient, and loving way.

Like, Hirano's retreating into himself when he asks if being in love means wanting to kiss someone and again when he asks Kurigua if kissing is something he wants and the initial answer is yes (before they each clarify)... I legit had to pause my reading each times because it was such a real and devastating reaction portrayed so poignantly and because I remember navigating those feelings of "Doing Love Wrong".

(Hint to younger me, Hirano, and anyone out there who needs to hear it: if you "want to love them back" so badly that it causes a ache in your heart... you probably already do. Now you get to tell them and work with them to negotiate what that looks like and find out if you can fit/grow together.)

Anyway... I have no idea if any of that made sense/added to your post or if it was just ramblings, but yeah... The story/characters give me so many feelings and thoughts. XD

I love what this Manga seems to be trying to do and I love how kindly it is doing it and I also hope that the MCs end up getting to be weird about each other for forever in a relationship that actually works for both of them.

some thoughts on the “…it doesn’t make my heart race, though.” line in hirano to kagiura:

so like. the way that this line is framed, it’s white text on black, and it starts with an ellipsis—immediately we’ve gone and established that it’s a serious, hesitant thought, and it’s not… Good, right. you don’t frame positive thoughts like that.

this line, though, made me Really Happy. and this is because I’m a big fan of aspec hirano as a headcanon. and when I read this line in ch 22, the first thing I thought of was how asexuality doesn’t always correlate with being sex-repulsed. now. I will not call myself an expert in asexuality or anything, but my understanding is that like… sex is many things, right? sexual attraction might not be a motivator, but sex is also many other things—a moment of intimacy, a shared activity, a form of pleasing a partner—and so there’s a certain kind of pleasure to be derived from it nonetheless.

extrapolating from there, something that’s interesting to me about the hirano & kagiura relationship is that, at least from an outside perspective, hirano & kagiura were having a loving roommate relationship until one day, kagiura honed into his own sense of desire so hard that everything got thrown out of balance. now they don’t move in the same sync that they used to. so kagiura overdraws romantic boundaries and doesn’t touch him outside the confines of his 10-second rule, because to do so more would cross a line (and in ch 6, his love fortune advises against that), and now everything is strange. but the thing is… even before kagiura was consciously having the I want to kiss him thought, he was in love with hirano.

all this to say: a lack of heart racing is not necessarily a lack of feeling. hirano likes to make kagiura happy. he gets genuine enjoyment out of it to the point that he wakes kagiura up every morning without much fuss. and it’s because he adores him! and because he thinks of kagiura as a dear and positive force in his life.

“…I guess he wasn’t going to touch me then” that is not rejection. and moments like this recur constantly—kagi encroaches, and hirano is not necessarily receptive but not against it, and then kagi draws back, bracing, way before he needs to. and we leave hirano in the lurch, unsure how exactly to bridge this gap that’s been set between them. sasaki to miyano also dealt a lot with ideas of romantic expectation, and I feel like hirano to kagiura does the same, too. romance, relationships, touch—the definitions of how these things changes with every person.

kagiura starts the series thinking that his ideal relationships is the one his parents have. that’s what he wants with hirano, and the do you want to kiss him? question doesn’t flicker into his thoughts until niibashi confronts him, because I imagine he’s not thinking about aspects of physical desire when thinking about his parents’ relationship. so he has to reevaluate, and then he wants, bargains a strange framework with hirano, who… as best as I can tell, has no real model for a romantic relationship. what does he want? because he does want kagi, in some fashion or the other. that much is clear to me.

we already see flashes of this. he wants kagiura to stop flinching around him. he can’t just think about it, he wants to try, with him (ch 23b). a relationship is two people. kagi can’t cross the line on his love fortune, but hirano can. right now, we’re not at a point of romantic reciprocation, but there is reciprocation.

…honestly, it’s rare to read a story that feels so patient with its characters, like this. one thing I love about hirano to kagiura is that hirano’s “resistance”—his lack of feeling, his frustrations—feel real. I don’t read through every chapter feeling like the manga is just waiting for him to “give in,” I see navigation and negotiation of feelings.

personally, I hope they find a happy medium where they’re both satisfied, but hirano still doesn’t entirely “get” the way kagi feels from tip to toe. but my personal ideas aside, I’m just excited to see where they go.

[alexanderlightweight]

I now love Wednesdays due to your open prompts. Perfect way to get over the hump mid-week.

My ask this week - does anyone from the shadow world see Alec in his peak mob-wife self? Like - do any other downworlders stumble across these meetings (or the yacht party) and what transpires?

(I'm thinking of an out of area 300 year old vampire or warlock seeing Alec in a corset vest & thigh high boots, draped across Magnus, wondering "what in the actual fuck is going on here?")

Who else knows about Alec as a mob-wife (I can't imagine Simon could keep his mouth closed)?

SFM/NSFW - your choice

As always, thank you for your writing!

i'm glad it can help! honestly it's what gets me through the week too and I really needed it today. so i'm having fun with the prompts ty.

i hope you enjoy this

<3 lumine

dressed to kill

Lily really wishes she was anywhere in the shadowworld than out here, in the mundane one. Her pantsuit is the only thing getting her through this, that and the fact that Raphael will owe her three more, from his personal tailor.

That’s worth mingling with the mundanes as she is. Trying to chase down a lead they finally have on a feeder den whose slipping yin fen into drugs, trying to bring down ‘willing’ blood bags.

It’s with the reminder that not only is it important to get this handled before someone more dangerous is called — and that three suits are on the line. So while she doesn’t have to smile, she also needs to keep her fangs to herself. 

The crowd is easy to enter with a simple encanto and once inside, well Lily is good at blending in when she wants to. That’s about the only thing that holds her together when she recognizes the couple seated together on a chair barely meant for one, let alone two.

It should look ridiculous but they just look intimate, like sharing the same space is better than breathing.

Lily only knows one couple who acts like that with such an intense aura and she certainly didn’t expect to see them here.

Simon's drunken rambling tirade suddenly makes less sense as reality than it did as a fever dream.

—

Mari is about to go talk to the new quality tester, Lily. She’s brisk and smart and she’s so no-nonsense that Leo can barely handle talking to her without retreating. However she’s new and probably doesn’t know anyone. Not only that but, well, Mari admires strong women.

Lily surprises her when she steps forward and bows to Magnus Bane. Nothing too noticeable or low but it’s a sign of respect on a woman whose face looked like she didn’t know what the word meant. Even now, the respect she gives is carefully measured out and seems well-earned and Mari wonders again, just what kind of life Magnus Bane lives.

The thing that surprises Mari is that Lily clearly doesn’t know how to handle Alec. She doesn’t seem to know where to look or how to handle his presence, even though she clearly knows Bane.

Actually, she knows Alec too. It’s clearer now, the more Mari watches. Lily is distinctly uncomfortable with looking at Alec and while Mari feels like it has to do with his clothes, it’s not because of what he’s wearing. Then Mari sees the almost helpless look Lily gives him — from the collar around Alec’s neck to his heels to his husband and realizes it’s because Lily doesn’t know where she’s allowed to look.

Clearly this isn’t as common a look as they’ve been led to believe, or perhaps it’s less common in business, which is where Lily clearly knows the two.  The thing is, Alec doesn’t treat anything like business so it’s clear that at some point a line is drawn, between whatever he is and who he is as Magnus’ husband.

Mari wonders between the two, if knowing Alec via business or as Magnus’ husband is worse.

—

“Poor dear, she looks like lightning will strike her if her eyes linger anywhere on you for more than half a second.”Magnus is laughing in Alec’s hair and then he murmurs, “though she’s not wrong.  Half a second is practically minutes for a vampire. Far too long for me to share the sight of you with anyone.”

“Didn’t we dress so that people would look at the both of us?”

“Yes, but I find this more amusing.”

Alec kisses Magnus rather than laugh as loud as he wants to. Of course that’s the reason Magnus decided to go this route and honestly, Alec can’t wait for the first time he wears something like this to Pandemonium.

Magnus is going to find no one being able to look at him hilarious and anyone who does look... well Magnus enjoys working out.

-

i hope you enjoy where I went with this, I didn't have the spoons to make up a new character so I borrowed Lily.

magnus really does change things based on his whims and alec's just straight faced: that was the plan all along. what are you talking about? he will gaslight you for his husband 100%

[ofeliaxoxo]

to play charlos with u… on the top of ur head what are some of ur favourite unhinged charlos moments?? or just some that make u feel particularly insane and/or u feel dont get enough attention im curious haha

Yay thank you for playing charlos with me it’s my favourite game

Ohh so hard to choose because they have one million moments that make me go Heurgh. I’m gonna list some that I particularly really like, not so much ones I don’t think get enough attention.

Ok so number one is the Abu Dhabi 24 podium. This is what broke my brain. Pre Abu Dhabi weekend I liked charlos well enough. But that hug……..like omfg. Omg!! It’s so sensual and erotic. Not to say they themselves would have experienced it as erotic but the actual shots themselves really are. Like the champagne everywhere, they’re wet, the embrace itself is not casual. Carlos big hairy hand gripping the side of Charles face. The final glance between them as Carlos pulls away. The way it starts because they have a genuinely casual hug which Charles then changes by pulling Carlos back in.

Like HELLO. It’s so intense! There are not a lot of teammate pairings on the grid I could imagine sharing this type of very charged podium hug. This is an impeccable scene from which to build rpf. For me this is the most sensual and cinematic moment and it’s always my number one. Especially since it’s the exact moment that converted me to charlos obsession. The entire weekend was completely insanity inducing in and of itself but this was the absolute cherry on top.

Another one that instantly comes to mind is one I’ve made posts about before but it’s the video where Charles is watching a match with Carlos et al. And Carlos is super into it while Charles blatantly isn’t. What gets me about that is not actually Charles just doing it to hang out (which does still get me. He wants to join….the scholars have pointed this out and I delight in the concept of Charles love language as quality time) BUT what really gets me is Charles PRETENDING to be on the same level. Not only does he not care as much but he wants them to think he cares a lot…he’s literally speaking Spanish in multiple clips (and being ignored😭) to try to engage with their conversation, he’s sitting next to Carlos and focusing on the screen while very obviously not really compelled by it. You know that thing where cats like to mirror because to them it’s hanging out and showing love. So if you go on your laptop they also want to Go on Laptop. Carlos is like hell yeah football time and Charles is like ok yay:) I know how to do Football Time:) let’s do Football Time together:D it’s his little performance that really sends me into orbit. He doesn’t just want to do football time together he wants Carlos to KNOW they’re doing it together and to look at him and acknowledge that.

I really like the video from vegas 24 when they have to sign young photos of themselves because they’re all up in each other’s space in this very casual way. They’re not really touching or anything but you still get a sense of intimacy and familiarity. Like the passing of the pen, the way Carlos’s coffee is in front of Charles so he reaches over for it at the end, all those little infringements of personal space. There’s a calm energy but it’s still fun to watch. I like their conversation too.

Honourable mention to a more recent and smaller one but the drivers parade from the China gp, particularly the moment when Charles and Lando are both walking towards Carlos and then each separately get their own personalised Carlos Tactile Greeting which they both visibly enjoy. And then they each settle in to look only at him and talk directly To him and NOT as a trio. And then Charles spends the rest of the parade forming part of Carlos’s harem. I love the little charlando moment so much. Carlos’s two most notable ex-teammate relationships making a beeline for him without showing really any interest in each other. They said Hello Carlos we have gravitated towards you like little moths to a lamp.

In conclusion: there are one million moments of them that make me crazy. Watching them interact is like being at the zoo for hot rich men

[nightlockrebel]

Katniss hadn’t expected this—how thrilling it would be to be wanted like this, to feel the weight of it in every brush of his fingers, every breath shared. But it was the sounds he made that unraveled her completely. Those low, unguarded noises pulled from his throat like instinct, like need. Each one lit something in her chest she hadn’t known was there, a flicker of boldness rising to meet it. To know she could do that to him, that her touch, her kiss, could draw those sounds from deep within him was heady in a way that no battle or hunt had ever been. She wasn’t used to feeling powerful like this, but with Peeta, beneath her hands and mouth, it wasn’t about control. It was about exploring. And gods, she wanted more. Katniss bobbed in tandem with her hands wrapped around him, experimenting with her pace and pressure until she heard that first breathy moan of her name. It was the way he said it that sent heat pooling low in her belly, and she wondered if he felt the same when she'd said his name.

She wasn’t used to being the cause of someone else coming undone, wasn’t sure she even knew how to hold that kind of intimacy but hearing him like that made her want to. Her name had been shouted in battle, whispered in grief, but never like this. Never with such raw need. And it made her ache in a way that had nothing to do with pain, only with wanting. Wanting him. More and more, and more.

Peeta's voice held a sense of urgency, a kind she wasn't entirely sure what it meant but she might be able to guess. Her gaze flicked upwards for a brief few seconds, returning back with a renewed sense of purpose. She wanted to make him come undone, wanted Peeta to experience even a fraction of the pleasure he'd given her.

Katniss hadn’t expected the rush of pride that came with his climax, his breath catching, her name tumbling from his lips like it was the only thing he knew. She’d read about moments like this in books, clinical, romanticized, sometimes embarrassingly detailed but none of them had captured what it actually felt like.

The heat of it, the closeness, the wild flutter in her chest that had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with him. Her hands propped her up, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. It wasn’t just thrilling—it was satisfying, deeply so, in a way that settled into her bones. She was still catching her breath, hovering over him, when a slow, crooked smile tugged at her mouth. “So,” she said, voice a little raspy, teasing but unsure, “should I take that as a compliment?”

Nerves tingled through his body, that quiet bit of anticipation sending shivers down his spine at the feather touch of her hand. He huffed a low chuckle at her attempt to deflect, to take the pressure off the moment, but lightly rolled his eyes amusedly. "Yeah or something." he quipped, a low whisper that rumbled and reverberated in his throat.

It was so easy to get lost in that hazy look in her eyes. That bit of hunger and desire he knew was reflected in his own. A part of him was transported, sixteen again lying in her arms, dreaming about a moment like this, but the reality was beyond imagination. It was overwhelming, like being on the precipice of a cliff and trying to decide to jump off. He felt the drop of the void in his stomach, that dizzying vertigo. It was thrilling and terrifying all in one.

A creeping doubt though itched at the back of his head. The one that had kept him away from her for so long. That thought that she didn't really want him, that all of this was the accumulation of their shared trauma and her incessant need to trade herself for the comfort of others. It was silly, stupid even. He didn't have a second thought moments ago when he was down on his knees worshipping at her alter. That felt natural. Why should it be any different now that he was on the receiving end?

He swallowed the frog in his throat. Whatever that thought, the one that made him feel unworthy of her touch, he had to push it aside, he had to trust her. Trust that she meant it when she said she loved him, meant it when she said she wanted him, and that she wouldn't be doing this if she didn't want to. And the moment her hand wrapped around him, everything went quiet in his head.

Peeta couldn't stop the low grumble of a grunt as his body reacted to her touch, the small arch of his back, the instinctive way his hips lurched into her hand. His voice was coarse, laced with a longing desire as he complied with her request. "You have no idea what you do to me." he told her, feeling the pressure burning in his core.

He ached to kiss her again, to replacing the lingering taste of her on his lips with another bite, but before he could tilt her chin up she was dipping down. Tentatively, he was enveloped with the warmth of her mouth, drawing out a moan like he'd never made before.

Stars set in his vision, every nerve of his body firing off at one singular point. Fire ran through his veins and he felt like he'd shatter into a million pieces if he dared to move.

His breath hitched as he tried to maintain some semblance of control but he couldn't. The fuse was lit. "K-Katniss." he let out her name in a breathy moan. He didn't want her to stop, he didn't want the sensation to be over, but it didn't take very much prompting to get him at full length.

Everything in his mind was quiet, consumed only by the feel of her mouth on him, how impossible it all felt, the intensity and elation wrapped around him. "Katniss." he said a little more urgently, words lost in a babble as he tried to warn her but they didn't form fast enough, not before the fuse went off and his climax hit far too quickly.

[distractionpie]

Oliver can have his headcanons, but I don't think Buck is conventionally messy. What I could see him doing is organising things in ways that make sense to him (ring cutter in the kitchen drawer) and clashing with Eddie just because they are still figuring out how fit their shared belongings together and adapt to living with each others habits all the time, rather than being together but taking turns in each other's spaces.

Like, I could see Eddie as a person who wants his home organisation to be efficient so he likes things he uses regularly visibly to hand, whereas Buck is used to living in an open plan living space and therefore putting stuff away immediately because if he left stuff out in one place it made the whole loft messy. Therefore they could have a tidiness clash of Eddie put [thing] on the table ready to use it again later and now can't find it because Buck has put it away in a random drawer for reasons which make perfect sense to him but nobody else.

Honestly I'm rooting for this clash because it could give them some genuinely lighthearted interpersonal conflict and be a nice trigger point for a conversation about the roommates situation, because living together is a different dynamic to just being a regular visitor. Is the solution that Buck is a guest and plays by Eddie's rules until he can find his own place? Or are they truly cohabiting and so have to actually communicate and build a domestic compromise? Are the items in the house Buck's things and Eddie's things which they are seperately responsible for, or BuckandEddie's things? Make them talk about it!

[transmutationisms]

hi! it’s totally ok if you don’t want to share but have you ever been in a psych ward? if so, how did that change your perception of psychiatry? i just got out and i fucking hated it. i understand why i was put in there and im glad i couldn’t hurt anyone anymore due to my psychosis, but it was still so dehumanizing. some of the nurses were kind and did their best to help, but that really doesn’t change the nature of the situation and the fact that my life is permanently altered because of it. i can’t even buy a gun for the next 5 years (not that i was going to or even want to currently and i wouldn’t necessarily want others with psychosis to be walking around them, but still it really adds to that whole “you’re a sick dog” feeling i felt in the ward. im still antipsych even though the med cocktail is helping with the mood swings, but it makes sense that they do that because they’re literally sedatives (as you’ve said). anyway sorry for sharing so much but im just interested to hear your thoughts because you actually got me interested in antipsych in the first place and i bought anne harington’s mindfixers because of you. i just wanted to say thank you for all that you write, you’re truly so intelligent and such a wonderful person for trying your best to do good. your writing seriously helped saved my life while i was locked up, so thank you! sending my best <3

hi. i'm glad you're at least bodily free now & happy for whatever value my blog has brought to your life but i do also want to say that psychosis (<-imprecise & problematic concept in the way of all psychiatric discourse) is far more a danger to you, the person being pathologised by & punished for it, than it is to anybody else. the dehumanisation you describe is intrinsic to a carceral system that exists to enforce conformity and economic productivity; i don't believe this is something that you or anybody else ever 'deserves' to be subjected to, & i'm sorry you have been. if you haven't seen already, here's a very concise antipsych FAQ that you might enjoy. take care, i wish you the very best <3

[aliusfrater]

hiiiii hello how do you think late teens/early 20s dean handled sam when he brought hookups back to their motel room? was it like

beat it DORK big brother's gonna score

heyyy sammy wink wink nudge nudge why don't you head on over to the library at 11pm because wink wink nudge nudge.. yknow

"oh sammy doesn't even know what we're doing (he does) and if we're quiet (they won't be) it won't be a problem"

or something else lol

hot take probably but beyond Familial Dynamic specific headcanons i've shared before that come from my enjoyment of applying their canonical dynamic to what Could be their pre-series dynamic (and some exploration of the differences of their perspectives of the same actions or aspects of their dynamic within their relationship), i think dean would be kind to sam in a way that's on the opposite end of the spectrum and specific to the fact that they're children in this situation together. as in, genuinely kind of out of the ordinary-esque siblings kindness/closeness especially for how much more significant their age difference would feel to third perspectives during their childhood. kind of like 4.13, as an example, where dean greets sam in the hallways, and sam's friend reacts to it with surprise because that isn't typical for freshmen and seniors, but sam also responds with the, "he thinks so," teenage-typical exasperation that i also tend to connect to sam's response to dean trying to push himself into the role of protecting sam when sam doesn't want it that comes later in the episode and the idea that even that closeness is both appreciated but so constant for the context of the way their relationship develops that it's so typical for them but gets stifling sometimes and creates the dynamic of dean's unawareness of sam's perpetual loneliness and guilt, or the lack of information sam was often subjected to, as it developed in this same space.

i think it'd be a mix of the three where sometimes, if dean was actually seeing someone, he'd be able to tell sam ahead of time and he'd be kind of coddling with the, "the library is open, and here's some money—" / "i've got my own money. leave the car keys on the table so i can nap in the car when i get home from the library. i have practice later so i won't be here when you leave to meet dad." before sam leaves for school in the morning. but it'd also be like sam could come home from school to them making out on the couch with a bit of a scowl, make a microwaved meal and leave to go eat it in the room he and dean shares without anyone reacting then dean'll come into the room a few sex noises later to change his shirt and ask sam if he wants anything from [fast food place] because he's gonna drop her home. i've posted a headcanon that included this before but i also like the idea of sam developing interesting relationships with the women dean's seeing in the sense that if he's getting beer from the fridge to plop down in front of the television with, he'd grab two, one being for her, just to hear dean whine about 'how comes he didn't get one', so she and sam can giggle about it together. sometimes dean will come into the dining room where sam's doing his homework and ask him to get lost sort of flippantly which could either lead to some friction or sam just getting out of there; sometimes there's a giggly conversation between them before sam leaves. sometimes dean uses 'having to check on my little brother' as an excuse to leave situations especially if he knows the woman's into the whole caretaker thing before going home and complaining about her boob job while sam asks him not to talk about her like that and to shut up 'cause he's doing homework. etc etc. i just like to think it'd depend on the specific circumstances :)

[spacestation-l7]

More zootles please 🙏 I’m absolutely OBSESSED with this idea, more George and Ringo please (my favs❤️)

Some George and Ringo for a change! :D

I'll draw more of them next cause I haven't expanded their stuff in this AU much and I'll do that next, but for now have this and a little snippet below :)

Where Lennon-McCartney are too busy navigating a very toxic dynamic between them two, George and Ringo were off on their own world enjoying each other's company.

There was Ringo, who hated the fact he was born a lion, a mindless Carnivore with an everlasting hunger for his loved ones, who drowned himself in alcohol in order to numb his senses from the smell of meat and the hunger gnawing at his core, whose mood would shift so quickly no one would bat an eye. And then there's George, who hated the weakness of being a Herbivore, who fantasized his tusks to morph into fangs like that of Carnivores, who was never taken seriously by Carnivore or Herbivore alike, who just wanted to be seen as a person capable of being great. The two found solace in each other as Ringo was really the only person who'd treat George as an equal and even see George as this figure of great talent, and George was the only person to look past Ringo's barriers and able to comfort whatever scattered thoughts he had in his head. Maybe that was why they worked so well and why their dynamic remained unchanged through the years

It started from Hamburg really. George was mesmerized with The Hurricanes' (very scary adult) drummer the first time he saw them play and had detached himself from John almost immediately in order to follow the terrifying drummer around. The other Zootles were, understandably, concerned with how close George was to the lion and was sure they were seconds away from a predation incident, only to find both of them snuggled up to each other in an empty room. (one might even see Ringo rubbing his cheek all over George's face, a way for lions to mark someone as part of their pride)

When Ringo first joined The Zootles as an official member, many (mainy Herbivores) fans were upset at the change. Anti-Carnivore sentiments were big in their scene and to have Pete be replaced by a Carnivore brought some negative attention from fans. It was George who stepped up to defend Ringo's honour, quite a comical scene to see a Carnivore cowering behind a Herbivore as the latter received a black eye from a fight.

There was India. Nobody actually knew what happened, not even John and Paul, but George had offered a part of his body to Ringo one day, an act of willing sacrifice. It was something George learned, something about the act of predation being a form of devotion and a promise to one another, to become one in a much deeper and more intimate way than even marriage. George thought it was beautiful and he wanted to share this with no one but Ringo. It was just a coincidence that he found Ringo starving one day, seeing as he couldn't even eat anything apart from rationed beans. It was what sealed the deal with each other. The two were bound by body and soul, practically connected and married in the holiest union.

Even with the band breaking up and all of the fighting between each other, nothing really changed between them. Ringo and George were bound together, two entities sharing a mind and soul. It was love and devotion in its purest form.

[cressidagrey]

Hello!

Sooo...Kimi..he's so young. Oh my god 😁 i am too old for this😂. It feels illegal to read about him😂. Thank god it's not kimi x y/n. But thanks to your amazing writing, it reads like a good fragment of a book. It felt less illegal😁.

You're amazing, keep doing what you're doing. Remember to take care of yourself. Remember to rest and drink plenty of water.🩵

Love,

Your too old for this reader 😂

Oh my god, I’m dying at this! 😂 Ngl, I felt like I was robbing the cradle lol. But I also feel like...for me at least, in RPF at some point these people just become characters in my brain that happen to share the same name, face and job. Like they are kinda removed from the actual persons if that makes sense? Mostly because we only know what their PR wants us to know about them.

The fact that it reads like a piece of a book means so much to me—I’m so glad you’re enjoying it, even if it makes you feel a bit too old for it! 😂

Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to remind me to take care of myself! I promise I’ll keep hydrating and resting (and maybe I’ll also channel some of that youthful energy into my writing 😄). You’re amazing, and I appreciate your support more than you know!

Love back to you, my too old for this reader! 🩵💖