#actually 'normal' in wider society and a wish for it to be different

[myrmica]

some brief tumblr meta analysis: a lot of responses to the "but are you normal about x, y, and z?" post format take issue with it on the fact that normal is not equivalent to good, respectful, or moral. this is true and a good point. i think people writing those posts know that though, even if they haven't consciously considered it; what this phrasing attempts to establish is not the normalcy of wider society but the baseline of social conduct expected in this particular setting. to post or reblog it signals to one's friends and followers that they may be judged for failing to meet this standard of conduct, even if it would be a 'normal' occurrence outside of whatever small tumblr social circle we're operating in.

it's a lot like critiques of the DNI which fail to recognize the social function it can serve beyond the obvious ineffectiveness of hanging a sign on your door telling racists to go away, assuming all racists will identify themselves and comply, which is to signal the DNI owner's stances and maybe to present yourself as 'safe' for certain demographics. i do think there are better ways to go about getting whatever message you're trying to get across than borrowing the normal=moral thing, but the impulse to frame it this way is revealing of how shame as a social force functions in general

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Is anyone else occasionally sort of nostalgic for early in the pandemic? I realize that might just be me taking my usual tendency toward nostalgia to ridiculous degrees. But I’ve heard a few other people talk about this before, so I know it’s not just me. Not people I know, or anything – no one I know has any idea why I’d feel this way, which is sort of part of the problem. I’ve heard a couple of comedians talk about it. And I hope this goes without saying, obviously I don’t literally want to return to an earlier point in the pandemic. Nostalgia paints a rosier picture than the one that actually existed, and obviously it’s incredibly self-centric to feel this way, because millions and millions of people around the globe had horrifying experiences that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

But. Okay, before the pandemic, for pretty much all my life, I felt out of step with other people. Your run of the mill level of autistic-related out of step. Didn’t understand people, they didn’t understand me, by high school I managed to find a community of people where everyone so outside normal society that they accepted me anyway and just sort of went along with my quirks, I hung on to that community for the next fifteen years, it was fine. Things were a little off, but they sort of worked out.

And now, I feel a gulf between myself and others that seems wider than anything I’d felt since before high school, since before I really communicated with anyone. I’m never on the same page as anyone else. Everyone else returned to the world in the wake of COVID ages before I did, so they’re all on a different timeline from me, things that seem new and scary to me are things they got through a year or more ago. And they returned so much faster than me, with so much less fear. They’ve all just moved on like the world hasn’t changed. And I know that maybe they’re just pretending it’s okay, same as I try to do, but this also applies to my close friends, whom I’ve talked to honestly about it, and there’s just such a gap between the way we experience things. I feel like I’ve come back into a world that’s wildly changed in my absence and that I now understand less than ever did.

Also, I can’t let shit go. Everything that got said during the pandemic, all the adults who are in positions of influence over children and teenagers and used their social media promote COVID conspiracies. All the people who illegally kept gathering all through the pandemic, and bragged about it, and now we’re supposed to just go back to seeing them as fun friendly rivals. All the people who drove to my own neighbourhood only a year ago to stand literally outside my fucking bedroom window with “No mandate” signs to fight for their right to kill everyone’s grandmother. I don’t know how to let go of the anger about that and see anything that they’re involved in as fun again.

I really love this Tweet:

Because that’s how it feels, like it isn’t fun anymore. People I used to dislike because they were dicks, I now dislike because they came to my home and tried to destroy my neighbourhood in the name of freedom to ruin the world. It’s not fucking fun to beat them in a fun game anymore. I have, however, started referring to several world-ruining people I know as “aforementioned lizard”, and that does make me laugh.

But there was a point in the middle, in between the pre-COVID time and whatever’s happening now, when I felt more connected to the world than I ever had. Like everyone was on the same page, more than I’d ever experienced before. Everyone was indoors, everyone was doing the same thing, experiencing the same struggles (obviously they weren’t, I’m ridiculously lucky that I wasn’t trying to take care of kids during the pandemic, that I had a job I could easily do from home so I didn’t lose my income, that while I did lose a good friend tragically in 2021, none of my loved ones became seriously ill with COVID - but it felt like everyone was in the same boat).

And I know it’s ridiculous to be nostalgic for that time – I actually have a way to go back and see how I was doing then, because I started this blog in August 2020. And I know I made posts on this blog in its first year or so that make it clear things were not going well. I desperately missed my life. But I was also looking forward to my life coming back, just the way I’d left it. That’s what I miss, that’s what I’m nostalgic for. The time when I was looking forward to that, because I hadn’t yet learned that it wouldn’t happen that way.

Anyway. The thing that got me writing this post isn’t nearly as dark as that. Well, I guess it is dark, but it isn’t nearly as dramatic as that. Does anyone else remember those couple of YouTube songs that went viral in late 2020/early 2021, by this guy calling himself Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq? I don’t know who he is. He’s British and he writes comedy songs, so I guess he’s technically a British comedian, but I’ve never heard of him outside this small number of songs he put up on YouTube. But he put them up at that point in the pandemic, the point where that messed up and misplaced nostalgia fits for me. They were timely and funny.

I spent a fair bit of late 2020/early 2021 staying at my parents’ place, because my mother was across the country taking care of her parents, and my dad was alone in the house, and got lonely during lockdown. And when lockdown was lifted, he still didn’t go anywhere except work, and when he was at work, the cats were alone all day, which wasn’t great. And I liked my dad, and got along with him, which is more than I can say for my roommate, so if I was going to be locked in the house for months anyway (which I was, I didn’t have any non-essential social contact during the pre-vaccination era of COVID, whether lockdowns were officially mandated or not), it may as well be with someone I like. So I stayed there for months, working from my dad’s living room, taking care of cats all day. In the evening, my dad and I would take turns making dinner and then watch Catsdown or QI, because we have a common interest and Canadian folk music and British comedy, and those are nice things to have in common for being compatible roommates.

And then, probably more often than a doctor would advise, after we’d finished eating dinner and watching whatever we watched, my dad would go to bed, and I’d get drunk on something from my parents’ wine cabinet, like I was a teenager again (except not really, because I didn’t actually start drinking until I was 19 and no longer living in my parents’ house). I’d watch Taskmaster and Mock the Week and 8 Out of 10 Cats and Amstell-era Buzzcocks, and make posts on this blog about how much I missed real life and how Britcom was getting me through this temporary break from reality. And I often listened to those few weird songs that were sort of viral at the time by this Thomas Benjamin person.

Anyway, he appears to have recently put up a couple of new things, which has put his old stuff back into my YouTube recommendations again. Which is the thing that actually started me writing this post, which was not meant to be all that dramatic. The point of this post was supposed to be: “Remember the funny songs by that guy that hit just right at that specific time and are so tied to that time that they give me a weird and ill-advised nostalgia for like December 2020″?

I know exactly how long ago I was into those songs - it was before Taskmaster season 10 had finished. I know because I took one of those songs, and used it as the background in a Taskmaster video I made in fall 2020, that used only clips from seasons 1-9, because I’m pretty sure season 10 had only just started at the time:

It’s worth seeing the actual video, though:

I think that went went viral during COVID because, you know, it was relevant. But it was written a while before it. While this one was actually written during and about lockdown:

And this one was also written specifically for that time period, in the YouTube description as: “dedicated to those out there who still refuse to wear a mask in public places”. Set to the Monty Python’s Flying Circus theme song (yes I realize it wasn’t originally the Monty Python’s Flying Circus theme song, but you can’t expect us to see it anything else by now):

Anyway, I’ve just learned he has a bunch of songs I did not previously know about that I’m going to get into now, sometimes the YouTube algorithm gets it right by reminding me of things like this.

[soulforayandere]

So I love Br0ken Colors, and in making an OC for it, ended up writing a whole Urban fantasy AU. My discord friends have really taken a liking to the AU too, making their own characters for it, and we've been calling it "Br0ken Fantasy".

Seeing how each of the main guys are getting a love interest via me and my friends, and some character changes to fit the AU, I'm gonna post each as their art is completed.

First up, my gal Fef!

Art by: Ozaya

Name: Fenfaffina Mizurath

Race: Dark Elf

Age: 29

Height: 5'8"

Occupation: Mage (police consultant)

character info below the cut!

In a world much like our own, only where humans are not the only race and magic is a part of everyday life. In most rural areas people just go about their lives as normal, but when you get into larger cities that's when you start having issues. It’s commonplace for parts of the cities to be sectioned off into wards, each one tailored to a different subraces specific needs. Be it larger buildings for Orcs and Trolls, wider sidewalks for centaurs and other taur races, more greenery for fae and weres - whatever the needs there is likely a ward in a large city for them. This doesn’t mean it’s a utopia. Just like in our world, when you put lots of different types of people in one place there’s bound to be issues and friction.

Fenfaffina is a dark elf from a rural farming town. Believing her name too old-fashioned, being a traditional elvish name, she’s gotten in the habit of telling people just to call her “Fef”. Her family was overall rather traditional, having Fef and her siblings grow up bilingual in common and elvish, celebrating old elf traditions, and the whole family practicing magic. Normally one would need to go to specialty schools and acquire permits to practice magic, as unchecked spells could wreak havoc on society. However, if going through the right channels, many elvish families bypass these rules and laws via a myriad of legacy clauses. 

More so than her siblings, Fef found herself rather gifted in magic casting. Memorizing the spells themselves and the movements or components required for each was hard enough, but where most fail was the personal cost of magic. Spells require energy from the caster, with harder spells having the tendency to cause the caster great pain or grain them to the point of fever. What makes a powerful caster is not just knowledge, but also tolerance, and Fef had a disturbingly high pain tolerance. This was encouraged by her parents, who would put her in painful situations regularly to help her raise her pain threshold. While abusive, and would have had the kids taken from the home if anyone cared enough to report them, it eventually did its job.

Fef went to a caster’s technical school, graduating as a full fledged mage with high marks. She worked in a large town for a few years to build her skills, but really wished to get away from her family and move to the big city. She applied to most any mage team she could, but most were either looking for better credentials she could get where she was or just plain didn’t want her (not everyone likes elves). She finally hit her break when she got an offer to join the mage division of Hueväri City’s police department. The job was more of a civil servant than a cop, but Fef felt like she might actually make good use of her skills in such a big city. Her family were starkly opposed to the idea, Hueväri City was known for having some of the highest crime rates in the country, but Fef only saw her chance for freedom.

There were lots of growing pains at first. Such a big city was expensive to live in, so Fef had to get a small apartment in a rough neighborhood. Her job, as well as the rest of her department, was to investigate reports of rogue magic and help the police on cases involving magic or beings out of their control. Typically this would be a child or teenager freshly unlocking their magic abilities, although in the more difficult cases this might be monsters summoned out of malice or incidents where race relations have completely deteriorated. Her first day on the job there was a murder, a set of kids setting a local church on fire with waterproof flames, and an illegally smuggled dragon breaking from the apartment it’s owner lived in and eating the landlord. If the cases themselves weren’t trying to kill Fef, the paperwork certainly was. On top of all that, she was a bit hurt to find out the mage division wasn’t respected by the police and not trusted by the public, making her feel even more alone than back in her hometown. 

One day while running errands, Fef found a quaint little flower shop with an apothecary counter in the back. Deciding she could use some herbs for home spells, she looked around. The scruffy man all but slumped over the counter looked beyond depressed, not even picking his head up to look at her and just picking at the dried rose on the counter. Fef could tell by his unusual ears and fluffy tail that he was a Warg, a being that could transform into a “mindless beast” at will, an ability fueled by their consumption of raw meat. Old stories say wargs ate magically gifted people to gain their power, but Fef never believed that and wrote it off as old-timey racism. It took a couple tries to get the man’s attention, but once their eyes met he seemed to perk up. Fef tried to make idle chat, just wanting to cheer the guy up and make his day just a little better.  He was animated when talking about his plants, even showing interest when she mentioned she was looking for spell components. 

When she asked why he seemed so down, he reluctantly told her he got rejected by the woman he had a crush on a few days ago, and was still down about it. Without even thinking, Fef told him she found him both charming and “very handsome”, mentioning whoever must have been blind to not see him as a total catch. When he reluctantly asked “even if I’m a warg” it broke her heart. She knew the pain of bigots, dark elves not the most welcome in her own experience, but she assumed his people got so much worse. Filled with sympathy, she brought a hand under his chin to lift his head higher, telling him he had nothing to be ashamed of. “You’re passionate, beautiful, and deserve the world.” She left him her name and number before leaving. “In case you need me to knock some chick's head…or wanna get dinner, either one works for me.”

Needless to say, Damon was in love. He first cyber stalked her to get information, like her real full name and address, then started stalking her during her day. Her apartment was actually not far from his place, making it really easy for him to pay her nightly visits. He collected dozens of photos of her going about her life, on the street, relaxing at home, and sleeping. One night, when she came home drunk and ranting to herself about “dickheads at work”, he snuck into her apartment after she passed out and cuddled up to her, petting her hair and whispering how he’d make them pay for upsetting her. She actually talked back to him in her sleep, a thing he discovered days ago she did, and managed to get information out of her that way. Over the next week her pig-headed coworkers were subject to attacks or accidents after hours.

This came to a head when a call for a dangerous case came in, and Fef was the only totally able-bodied one left with the credentials to take it. Together with her partner, an older human named William, they attempted to subdue the rampaging Gnoll. Unfortunately the beast seemed to have been doped up on “pixie dust”, a magically charged drug that can turn beings into feral monsters if overdosed. William was knocked out rather quickly, his gun having no effect on the oversized being. Fef struggled to get him under control with suppression spells, but was knocked hard into a wall and nearly had her head bitten off. Right as it was making its killing blow, the thing was intercepted by a snarling ball of red and white fur. Damon had followed them to the scene, and rushed in when Fef was hurt. Shifted in his fully Warg form, Damon wasted no time killing the feral Gnoll, not even sparing the body a second thought to go check on Fef. She was bleeding, feverish from casting, and shooken up. As he cautiously reached out to check on her, she threw herself into his arms and silently cried. She nuzzled him, thanking him for saving her, and clung to him despite the blood in his fur covering them both. Backup and cleaning crew were called after she calmed down, and she introduced Damon to her coworkers (well more she tried, but realized he never gave her his name). When he said he was her boyfriend, she didn’t correct him and just gave him another tight hug in thanks.

Notes

She can cast a number of various spells, but has a couple she prefers to use most.

Magi Whip - an energized whip she can create from her right hand. It glows a florescent lime green and can be super heated or electrically charged with magical energy. Typically she just needs to bring it out as a show, with a loud crack, to get her point across to people and settle fights down. If she actually needs to use it, it can be used as a whip or a lasso, the end casting out to about 50 feet max (length of a semi). She can choose to charge the whip either during use, or after to subdue targets.

Gyromancy - actually a series of spells, she can control and mess with the force of gravity around her. Usually she used this to fly on her staff or to make shields/ redirect attacks, she struggles to use it on living things due to all the logistics that would involve. These spells cause the most pain to casters, so she needs to be smart about when to use it and how much.

Fef didn't have the best first meeting with DG. She was walking home from work later than usual and took a turn down some back allies to avoid a rowdy couple of bars, not looking to get heckled. Unfortunately DG happened to be "hunting" down that ally, and gave chase when she tried to run away. Knowing calling for help was useless in her neighborhood, Fef instead tried to but enough distance between them for her to try and cast some form of spell. But it had been a long day, and she was already tired from work, so both running and casting was difficult. The two got into a scuffle, Fef trying to get past him and DG getting a couple good stabs in. As they rolled onto the ground and DG got the upper hand, a loud roaring bark echoed in the ally. Damon came to her rescue again, but Fef was a bit mortified to find out the two men were good friends. 

DG told Fef the two hunted the allies for fun. letting Damon eat the victims when DG was done playing with them. He threatened her not to tell on them, but Damon separated them. DG promised not to hurt Fef as long as she kept Damon happy, wording it more as a threat to her rather than a protective proclamation for Damon. 

Though conflicted, Fef keeps her end of the barging and doesn't report them, even helping the two cover up their crimes time to time. She doesn't like or trust DG in any way, a fast DG takes pleasure in when messing with her.

Fef is physically incapable of screaming. She can yell, and raise her voice for a limited time, but can't produce "screams". She's unsure if she's always been incapable of screaming, but if she could in the past she's sure her parent's "training" broke that ability in her.

Like other dark elves, Fef can't eat overly sweet things, they burn her like hot coals. She does seem to have a limited tolerance and can eat things like pie or cookies some days, but when she hits her limit it's beyond painful. This doesn't seem to hold true for sweet drinks, only solid food (pudding is also safe).

She's rather short for an elf, as most are 6 foot or taller. She suspects she might have some human in her, but her family would never admit to having anything but elf (and mostly dark elf at that) blood in them.

[tinygalaxydragon]

20 Fun Facts About marine service

What is going to maritime assistance Be Like in 100 Yrs?

MARINE Assistance

Introduction:

The Maritime Company is an important Section of our Modern society. It provides critical providers such as rescued swimming animals, crisis reaction, and supply of goods and supplies to Marines along with other service customers. The Maritime Company is a vital Section of our Modern society that provides necessary companies such as rescued swimming animals, crisis response, and shipping and delivery of products and materials to Marines as well as other company customers.

Kinds of MARINE Support

Marine Service: Different types of Support

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Benefits of Maritime SERVICE:

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-A lot more Females are serving in marine support .

Small business OF MARINE Provider:/

Because the maritime sector carries on to expand, it's important for firms to comprehend the different facets of the marine service. A single this sort of facet will be the job that maritime providers Participate in in giving a safe and responsible transportation community. By knowledge how these products and services are utilised And the way they can be utilized to help corporations realize their goals, businesses can superior provide their clients and competitive edge.

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5. Conduct a marketplace Investigation that identifies the precise marine provider segments that companies will need to understand.

6. Apply the approaches identified in the subsequent chapters that can help your enterprise.

BENEFITS OF Enterprise OF Maritime Assistance :

There are various Gains to getting a marine company member. These Positive aspects can contain witnessing the maritime assistance’s devotion to obligation, aiding add to society via offering emergency products and services, and networking with Many others within the maritime service. The maritime provider is an important part of our nation’s infrastructure and defends our coasts from millions of holidaymakers every year. starting to be a marine services member is a wonderful way to point out your support for your region and its people today.

Maritime Service Prevents Major Wellness Hazard from Sharks

The Maritime Company has extensive been a reputable and essential source for the region. They're A necessary Section of our defence system and Perform a very important job in maintaining our coastline Protected from dangers including sharks. Having said that, their position isn't devoid of Hazard, and recent reports demonstrate which the Marine Service is specially at risk through the shark menace. The Maritime Support must be cautious in how they offer Using these predators, or They could come across themselves in danger for major health problems down the line.

5 positivity- inducing great things about marine provider

one. Marina company might be helpful for the setting and for the individual.

two. Marine services may help improve mental well being and physical overall health.

3. Maritime support may also help persons join with character.

4. Marine company can provide a way of purpose and accomplishment. 5. Maritime company allows men and women link with the earth close to them.

Pros And cons of maritime company

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pJmyt-zFBL8/hqdefault_106933.jpg

Execs:

-There are several benefits to support within the Maritime Corps.

-The Maritime Corps is a fantastic location to provide your place.

-The Marine Corps can give you a sense of patriotism and obligation.

-You could find out new abilities and tools whilst serving within the Maritime Corps.

Downsides:

-Marine services is usually difficult, time intensive, and highly-priced. -Maritime Corps coaching and training isn't marine service the same as other army branches. -The Maritime Corps will be expecting you to stay at 1 spot for a very very long time. -You can devote plenty of time in the sphere undertaking plan and repetitive jobs.

Why must you think about marine company?

Marine assistance can be a profitable vocation choice When you have the best abilities and skills. While there are various different types of marine assistance, many of the commonest include handling boats, fishing, and sailing. For those who have an interest in a occupation in maritime service, here are some motives to contemplate it:

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3) Marine company can offer beneficial knowledge that will help you prepare for other Occupations.

Summary:

In summary, the Marine Service is an important Element of the armed service. They have a lot of obligations and are sometimes referred to as on to supply support to other branches with the navy. The assistance is hardworking and might be a useful addition to any group.

[achairwithapandaonit]

I wish you would write a fic where...

okay so. Normal Guy Hisashi. lets assume he's away on business or something. anyway the idea is just a canon rewrite but if Izuku got the quirk genetics says he should have (Fire breath, Pull, Pyrokinesis, whichever version you prefer). I just think you would have a cool and funny take on this.

so normal guy hisashi with izuku who has a quirk. well, first off, my favourite normal guy hisashi trope is that he's like,, having his own adventure overseas in a completely different genre. like,,, i'm obsessed with mysteries rn cause detco brainrot which leads to wider mystery consumption, so lets say that Normal Guy Hisashi is away on business and is a normal guy now but in his youth he was a detective and so has the detective gene that rules people just get murdered when he's around cause the mystery genre requires mysteries to solve and he's a mystery genre lead.

i realise now what u want my spin on is izuku with a quirk from his parents and not Normal Guy Hisashi but fuck it, now we know what's fuckening over seas with normal guy hisashi. every time he's like time to go home (: someone fucking dies and it becomes an international case and he has to stay to solve it. hero society is collapsing in a state of disarray and Normal Guy Hisashi is tripping over so many dead bodies he can't go back to japan to put his detective gene to good use and make the people causing all the problems just fall fucking dead.

this is fine.

anyway i'm actually not a fan of of aus where izuku naturally has a quirk cause it messes with the parallels between izuku, shigaraki, and now aoyama. but for you and only you i will set aside my grievances to write u a cool au idea.

izuku has a really weak quirk. it might be fire breath but it's more like fire sparks, might be pull but just a bit weaker. either way it's not a quirk that could ever help him as a hero. he's not quirkless but he's of course bullied for having the most useless quirk Ever and still wanting to be a hero.

aaaand yeah i can't really think of anything to make it interesting, i'm sorry. something about aus like that are the least interesting thing ever to me.

i feel like it'd need an extra something to make it interesting. like an extra detail. there's always the idea that there's some kind of link between izuku and the shimuras or afo. maybe HISASHI is afo's son. that might make it interesting. as it is, aus like this just drain out what i find interesting about izuku's character.

[magicflowershop]

Kenma stared at his phone for the next five seconds, until a notification of a missed call popped on the screen. he immediately realized this as a mistake and pressed the answer button when another call appeared.

he braced himself.

“kenma!”

the voice from the call reflected loud and clear through his speaker. it was sweet yet vigorous. the excited tone bounced against him and around him, to have him feel the same.

he smiled to himself.

“hey, y/n.”

he hears you panting through the phone. “are you okay?”

“yes!” he heard you answer, breathing out the vowel of the word. “i’m sorry, but where are you right now?”

squeaking noises was heard out of the speaker. the boy assumed you might be out to look for him. his suspicions died down the second you replied that you were. Kenma called you stupid from the back of his mind, and excused himself from his team to go look for you too.

“i’m going to the garden,” he told you, walking his way down the stairs.

“garde- the garden?!”

Kenma winced at your yell that you soon apologized for. “i just walked passed the garden, geez. can you go somewhere else?”

“but i want to go to the garden.”

“stay where you are! i’m trying right now!”

“well, try to go to the garden.”

the sides of his mouth rose up to his cheeks as he rushed down the stairs, heading his way to the garden as he said. his grin grew wider after hearing whines from his phone speaker. the fun part of his life has come back, it seems. he wished for it to stay.

with this, he took a different route to the garden. that is in case he bumps into you, so the two of you can go together and he can make fun of you for running in the corridor like a lunatic. it’s one of his favorite hobbies now.

“wait!” you yelled from the other side of the call. he heard you gasp the next second and whisper, “i got lost i think. oh my god.”

at that moment, the most hearty and loudest cackle escaped from Kenma’s mouth. it was a split-second laugh. so loud that Kenma surprised himself. to think he was capable of laughing like that. if Kuroo were to hear, he would probably cry, Kenma thought and contained his enthusiasm. after all, the person on the phone can let out the same amount of enthusiasm for the both of them.

“what was that? can you do that again? i couldn’t quite catch it.”

Kenma rolled his eyes, chuckling. “i laughed.”

your gasp was the sharpest one he heard so far. “do it again! shit, oh no, i can’t record it. i’m calling you.”

this time he covered his mouth to not make his giggles audible. he was surprised to actually find himself giggling at something so simple.

the lad let you playfully babble curses at him while he remained quiet. if he continued speaking, he might not be able to stop. interacting with others is a tough job, so he took the time to look for you instead before going outside the premises.

it then hit him. “you’re not lost for real, are you?” he asked, looking left and right to see which way you might come from. he figured that since you both are college seniors, you could have been exaggerating to say you were lost. as you do liked exaggerating. the smile returned.

“i’m not familiar with the main building. the east and west buildings confuse me a lot.” she explained herself, sounding a lot more audible than previous times. Kenma looked up to the window and saw you taking a seat by the fountain, visibly tired to your wits. he took a sigh of relief before moving to sit beside you.

but his presence might have startled you that you had to stand back up. “you’re here!”

the lad nodded his head, smiling, and kept his phone back in his hoodie’s pocket. “yes, i am.” he saw the paint-stained apron she wore over her clothes. “you’re working hard.”

you looked down to your clothes, “this is nothing. i’m only doing my job. i didn’t want to just sit there and watch them work, you know.” and sheepishly smiled, tucking strands hair behind your ear.

“anywa-”

“why’d you-”

the two of you laughed after speaking at the same time. you gestured for the lad to say his piece before you, but he only wanted to ask why you called him just to see him.

you felt yourself flush from realization. “well, um, the text you gave me made me really worried, and i keep forgetting to reply since everything’s been really hectic on me lately. and i apologize for that.”

“there’s no reason for you to apologize.”

“also, you’re never a bother to me. what made you think that?” you asked him, tilting a head to the side in confusion, and continued, “if anything, it’s an honor to be your friend since i started as a fan of you...”

until Kenma retracted his hand back from touching the stain of paint on your chin.

you stared at him. you just stood there, staring at him. you gathered all the events that led to that action in your mind. meanwhile, the lad covered his face and looked away out of shame. he just invaded your personal space

and touched you.

“what was that?”

“you- you had paint on your- on your chin. it w- it was distracting so... yea.”

you watched him as he stammered like crazy, as if he has violated your rights as a member of society and as a woman of Japan.

did you just do that to Bouncing Ball Corporation’s CEO?

“i’m a painter. it’s normal i had stains like this on certain parts of my body. no worries... well, anyways,” you said, trying your very best to brush off what happened just now between you two. you sure hoped you weren’t blushing as hard as he did just now. but your robotic voice did not help, “we can sit. do you want to sit? i want to sit.”

so you sat by the fountain once again, and Kenma followed suit. the both of you sat beside each other for the next few minutes, relishing the air accompanied by the scent of the plants. the warmth around you two was too comfortable and too sweet that you literally cannot stop blushing.

you are sitting beside Kenma Kozume. you hadn’t let that sink in yet. it was too good to be true. he was hanging out with you. he touched your chin. HE.

“you’re more quiet in personal, huh?”

“who, me?” you asked in a rather dumb way, as he did startle you with a question. “i’m kind of the same.” you can never admit that you’re actually so star-strucked whenever you see him in real life that you just do not function at all.

you’ll come around, you say to yourself.

it’s only a matter of ti-

“want to go to horror mansion with me some time?”

you blinked at him. “yes?” you asked him to repeat himself, to make sure you weren’t just hearing things, although your yes trailed off so far that you forgot to rise the intonation.

“great,” a soft smile matched with his soft voice so well that you find yourself instantly melting.

“you got the tickets, right?”

“uh, yea.”

“okay. i’ll just ask the team if we can make the booth up to your standards.”

“up to my standards? what’s that mean?”

“you don’t get scared easily, do you?”

so you stand there, taken-aback, that this boy had the audacity to tease you again as if you did not just go around school just to hang out with him, again.

“i’m hungry. want to get some snacks with me?”

ღ take me to orbit

― note 10 ✧ working hard

ღ in which a part-time graphic designer receives an opportunity to work with their most favorite sugar daddy gaming youtuber. or perhaps, work isn’t the only thing that’s about to happen between them.

✧ previous 「masterlist」 next ✧

behind the stars:

since it has been officially stated, Kuroo immediately deleted the Kirby meme from Kenma's tweet to avoid suspicions.

❀ //

:D I’M BACK :D

― ✿ taglist: 《STILL OPEN! send me an ask to join 🧡》

@fear-fckeverythingandrun @mirikusashes @bestboitsukki @rachelexe @icaruskenma @lilidrawz @animatedrapture @lostmarimoismyhubby @paripedia @kac-chowsballs @aikochan4859 @beanst0ck @kac-chowsballs @ghost-of-todoroki @waitforitillwritemywayout @effmigentlywithachainsaw @hugscore @basically1kuromi @yn-tingz @a-applepi @shigarakiskitten @skylarkalchemist

[comrade-meow]

A great deal of the transgender debate is unexplained. One of the most mystifying aspects is the speed and success of a small number of small organisations in achieving major influence over public bodies, politicians and officials. How has a certain idea taken hold in so many places so swiftly?

People and organisations that at the start of this decade had no clear policy on or even knowledge of trans issues are now enthusiastically embracing non-binary gender identities and transition, offering gender-neutral toilets and other changes required to accommodate trans people and their interests. These changes have, among other things, surprised many people. They wonder how this happened, and why no one seems to have asked them what they think about it, or considered how those changes might affect them.

Some of the bodies that have embraced these changes with the greatest zeal are surprising: the police are not famous social liberals but many forces are now at the vanguard here, even to the point of checking our pronouns and harassing elderly ladies who say the wrong thing on Twitter.

How did we get here? I think we can discount the idea that this is a simple question of organisations following a changing society. Bluntly, society still doesn’t know very much about transgenderism. If you work in central London in certain sectors, live in a university town (or at a university) or have children attending a (probably middle-class) school, you might have some direct acquaintance. But my bet is that most people don’t know any trans people and don’t have developed views about how the law should evolve with regards to their status.

So the question again: how did organisations with small budgets and limited resources achieve such stunning success, not just in the UK but elsewhere?

Well, thanks to the legal website Roll On Friday, I have now seen a document that helps answer that question.

The document is the work of Dentons, which says it is the world’s biggest law firm; the Thomson Reuters Foundation, an arm of the old media giant that appears dedicated to identity politics of various sorts; and the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Intersex Youth & Student Organisation (IGLYO). Both Dentons and the Thomson Reuters Foundation note that the document does not necessarily reflect their views.

The report is called 'Only adults? Good practices in legal gender recognition for youth'. Its purpose is to help trans groups in several countries bring about changes in the law to allow children to legally change their gender, without adult approval and without needing the approval of any authorities. 'We hope this report will be a powerful tool for activists and NGOs working to advance the rights of trans youth across Europe and beyond,' says the foreword.

As you’d expect of a report co-written by the staff of a major law firm, it’s a comprehensive and solid document, summarising law, policy and 'advocacy' across several countries. Based on the contributions of trans groups from around the world (including two in the UK, one of which is not named), it collects and shares 'best practice' in 'lobbying' to change the law so that parents no longer have a say on their child’s legal gender.

In the words of the report:

“'It is recognised that the requirement for parental consent or the consent of a legal guardian can be restrictive and problematic for minors.'

You might think that the very purpose of parenting is, in part, to 'restrict' the choices of children who cannot, by definition, make fully-informed adult choices on their own. But that is not the stance of the report.

Indeed, it suggests that 'states should take action against parents who are obstructing the free development of a young trans person’s identity in refusing to give parental authorisation when required.'

In short, this is a handbook for lobbying groups that want to remove parental consent over significant aspects of children’s lives. A handbook written by an international law firm and backed by one of the world’s biggest charitable foundations.

And how do the authors suggest that legal change be accomplished?

I think the advice is worth quoting at length, because this is the first time I’ve actually seen this put down in writing in a public forum. And because I think anyone with any interest in how policy is made and how politics works should pay attention.

Here’s a broad observation from the report about the best way to enact a pro-trans agenda:

“'While cultural and political factors play a key role in the approach to be taken, there are certain techniques that emerge as being effective in progressing trans rights in the "good practice" countries.'

Among those techniques: 'Get ahead of the Government agenda.'

What does that mean? Here it is in more detail:

“'In many of the NGO advocacy campaigns that we studied, there were clear benefits where NGOs managed to get ahead of the government and publish progressive legislative proposal before the government had time to develop their own. NGOs need to intervene early in the legislative process and ideally before it has even started. This will give them far greater ability to shape the government agenda and the ultimate proposal than if they intervene after the government has already started to develop its own proposals.'

That will sound familiar to anyone who knows how a Commons select committee report in 2016, which adopted several positions from trans groups, was followed in 2017 by a UK government plan to adopt self-identification of legal gender. To a lot of people, that proposal, which emerged from Whitehall looking quite well-developed, came out of the blue.

Anyway, here’s another tip from the document: 'Tie your campaign to more popular reform.'

For example:

'In Ireland, Denmark and Norway, changes to the law on legal gender recognition were put through at the same time as other more popular reforms such as marriage equality legislation. This provided a veil of protection, particularly in Ireland, where marriage equality was strongly supported, but gender identity remained a more difficult issue to win public support for.'

I’ve added my bold there, because I think those are very telling phrases indeed. This is an issue that is 'difficult to win public support for' and best hidden behind the 'veil of protection' provided by a popular issue such as gay rights. Again, anyone who has even glanced at the UK transgender debate will recognise this description.

Another recommendation is even more revealing: 'Avoid excessive press coverage and exposure.'

According to the report, the countries that have moved most quickly to advance trans rights and remove parental consent have been those where the groups lobbying for those changes have succeeded in stopping the wider public learning about their proposals. Conversely, in places like Britain, the more 'exposure' this agenda has had, the less successful the lobbying has been:

'Another technique which has been used to great effect is the limitation of press coverage and exposure. In certain countries, like the UK, information on legal gender recognition reforms has been misinterpreted in the mainstream media, and opposition has arisen as a result. ….Against this background, many believe that public campaigning has been detrimental to progress, as much of the general public is not well informed about trans issues, and therefore misinterpretation can arise.

In Ireland, activists have directly lobbied individual politicians and tried to keep press coverage to a minimum in order to avoid this issue.' (Emphasis added).

Although it offers extensive advice about the need to keep the trans-rights agenda out of the public’s gaze, the report has rather less to say about the possibility that advocates might just try doing what everyone else in politics does and make a persuasive argument for their cause. Actually convincing people that this stuff is a good idea doesn’t feature much in the report, which runs to 65 pages.

I’m not going to tell you what I think of the report, or the agenda it sets out. I’m not going to pass comment on it or its authors. I’m just going to try to summarise its nature and contents.

A major international law firm has helped write a lobbying manual for people who want to change the law to prevent parents having the final say about significant changes in the status of their own children. That manual advises those lobbying for that change to hide their plans behind a 'veil' and to make sure that neither the media nor the wider public know much about the changes affecting children that they are seeking to make. Because if the public find out about those changes, they might well object to them.

I started my first job as a researcher in the Commons in 1994. I’ve been studying and writing about politics and policy ever since. And in my experience of how changes in the law are brought about, the approach described in that report is simply not normal or usual. In a democracy, we are all free to argue for whatever policy or position we wish. But normally, anyone who wants to change the law accepts that to do so they need to win the support or, at least, the consent of the people whose authority ultimately gives the law its force. The approach outlined, in detail, in the Dentons report amounts to a very different way of lobbying to get the laws and policies you want. Even more notably, it suggests that in several countries people have been quite successful in lobbying behind a 'veil' and in a way that deliberately avoids the attention of the public. That, I think, should interest anyone who cares about how politics and policy are conducted, whether or not they care about the transgender issue.

I’m going to conclude with an observation I’ve made here before, but which I think bears repeating in the context of that report and the things it might tell people about other aspects of the trans issue: no policy made in the shadows can survive in sunlight.

[blurred-cat]

what do i mean by “ace and demi and others would be validated” in regards to wanting sexual needs and sexual talk normalized in society? cause there would be widespread acknowledgement that Some People Simply Don’t Want Sex and that Some People Only Want It Under Certain Conditions. by normalizing discussions about this Extremely Natural Thing there would be wider discussion about the variety and manifestations of said sexual urges/wants and less making talking about sex at all some weird taboo subject. On top of that? sexual satisfaction could be freely discussed too. cause that’s also a thing i see so... neglected. here we fucking go a cut to shorten this honkin chonker baybeeeee

Like, Sex is being slightly talked about more These Days but not in a gentle manner. This aggressively condescending and heavily Gendered sexual satisfaction speak i keep seeing is trash and stupid and shit. Shaming people is never going to help them improve. I get it. We’re making the funny “find the clit” jokes and yeah thats giggle worthy but there’s not enough other discussion topic and meaningful speaking about anatomy, sex drive, foreplay, etc etc to make that joke more tactful, in the face of something that Can Be a legit concern. Like. I find it concerning a lot of people dont know Basic Human Anatomy. I wanna laugh but it’s horrifying and why is nobody else horrified? make the joke but educate has always been my go to, if not leaving the joke in the background or omitting it entirely. and maybe it’s cause i’ve been in The Scene and I’m realizing it was a very intelligent move to Not Get Married or Settle Down before my age but I’m so sick of the mainstream conversation manner surrounding consent and sex as a whole. And marriage too but thats a whole nother topic. I see that there’s too much fucking mysticism and shaming and not enough patience and education surrounding sex. satisfaction is not spoken of in a manner that doesn’t help people understand that: you know what, you may just be incompatible with your partner on a sexual level, can you live with that? It’s spoken of in the same manner as a Stage Performance. That everyone must always be perfect and satisfying for whoever they’re with or They Deserve To Die. on top of that, orgasms are being further mystified into this “holy grail” type shit like... you dont need an orgasm to be satisfied, actually. And some people straight up can’t. and sometimes they can even be Not Satisfying. not everyone’s ideal sexual experience is the same and, again, that’s being fucking homogenized and used to shame people that do it  differently, right? HOOO I HAVE COMPLAINTS. I’ve had these complaints for years too. my proposed solution is in this text. educate as a baseline. then expand the education methods and make them readily available and presented with less shaming/blaming/condescending language. demystify sex as some magical ultra-desirable and super mandatory process. always be learning. take the shame out of not knowing about how to have sex. take the shame out about not knowing the anatomy. demystify genitals. educate on how to communicate clearly with your partners about sex. of course there are exceptions. because of how society is currently situated there’s a huge elephant in the room i wish to make very clear: Absolutely Murder pedophiles and sex traffickers indiscriminately and i don't care what age they are. kill them all and make a mountain of their heads for the masses to see. the rules of clear and you deserve death. those are the people that should feel shame and guilt and liquid metal being poured down their throats. they should have their skin peeled slowly until they die of blood loss. anyway, i dream of an ideal world.

[eryiss]

Chapter Seven - The Shutdown

Summary: Freed and Laxus live incredibly different lives. Freed is a corporate lawyer in the capital city, and Laxus works as a handyman in a countryside hotel. Despite their differences, their lives collide when Freed inherits a house in Laxus’ village, and hires him to make the derelict building liveable. But the closer they get, the more they seem to offer each other. [Fraxus Multi-Chapter]

This was written as my admission for Fraxus Day 2020, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus​. There's descriptions of emotional repression in this chapter, so be aware of that. Hope you enjoy it.

You can read this under the cut, on Fanfiction, or on Archive of Our Own. You can find the chapter masterpost here.

Chapter Seven – The Shutdown

This was pathetic, and Freed knew it.

He was a grown man. He was a lawyer. He was a well-respected member of society who had earned his place on multiple occasions. And yet, apparently, this was what he had resorted to. Switching off his phone while glaring at it, locking himself in his apartment, and refusing to speak to anyone who might want to talk. He had shut himself off completely, like a fucking teenager who didn't know how to handle his emotions.

Which, other than him not being a teenager, was accurate. Because all of this ridiculous behaviour that Freed hated himself for doing – that he couldn't stop himself from doing – was all because he didn't know what to do about what he was feeling.

And he was feeling. He was feeling a lot.

It was something that only added to his annoyance because Freed wasn't an overly emotional person. He was pragmatic, and allowed his feelings to be put to the side to focus on greater tasks. He'd lived his entire life that way, and had done so to great success and happiness, and yet now he felt as though he was fucking drowning in these feelings. In the feelings that he couldn't quantify or push to the side or ignore. And the pure amount of them, the ferocity with which they had hit him, and range of different feelings was just so awful. He couldn't deal with it.

So, he did what he always did when he was overwhelmed. It didn't happen often, and usually only when he was taking on a case that was more troublesome than he had expected, but he had techniques in place that usually helped. He wrote a list of everything that was overwhelming him.

Confusion – He had always lived in Era, and his life resolved around the city. It was confusing to feel so drawn to Magnolia, a place so contrasting to what he knew.

Annoyance – He knew that he wanted Magnolia to be a larger part of his life, but wouldn't say it out loud. His pride was getting in the way, but he couldn't push past it to be honest about his wants.

Anger – He should have spoken to Laxus. He shouldn't have let him go after… what had happened. Because they hadn't spoken since Laxus had left, two weeks ago. And he missed him, more than he could admit to himself. He missed him so much.

Anger – Because he shouldn't have goaded Laxus into a flirtatious competition.

Anger – Because he shouldn't have left the house and gone to the carnival to see Laxus.

Anger – Because he shouldn't have gotten allowed his stupid crush to become more than that.

Anger – Because he shouldn't have let Laxus be anything other than a workman to him.

Anger – Because why couldn't he speak his goddamn mind when it came what he was feeling?

He sighed, slamming his pen onto his desk, and rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. He looked down at the list with an annoyed expression because it had done exactly what it was meant to do. It had highlighted the greater problem that was worrying Freed, and it was all very clear as to what was actually troubling him. As he always did after finishing a list, he wrote a final point to clarify what was actually happening, and he sighed at his own words.

Attraction – He was drawn to Laxus in a way that he couldn't control. He didn't know what to do with this attraction, but he couldn't stop it. It felt like he was trapped by it.

And for Freed, a man whose emotions had never been an issue, it was concerning.

Worse still, a lot of their time spent together seemed to be cast in a new light now. All of Freed's insistence that Laxus teach him new skills, perhaps that was just a way to get closer to him more often. Their shared meal and the private revelations of their childhoods, maybe that was how Freed was making his relationship with Laxus more personal. The time they spent at the carnival, before the incident after the dunk tank, might have been Freed getting a date from Laxus without even knowing it.

It all made Freed feel rather sick.

One worrisome thought was that he might have manipulated Laxus into friendship unknowingly. But Laxus wasn't that good of an actor, and he seemed to genuinely like Freed. Though that could be because Freed was his boss, and he wanted to get a good reference at the end of their working relationship.

A sharp nocking sound echoed through Freed's empty apartment, cutting off that thought.

He didn't move to answer it, of course. With seemingly a million and one random and predominantly negative thoughts hitting him every second, he wasn't in the mood to greet visitors. The idea of pretending to be happy sounded exhausting, and Freed would much rather gather his thoughts on his own. Though, in reality he would probably try and fail to gather his thoughts, only to be angry at himself for failing, and he'd end up sleeping while enraged.

"If you are not dead in there, I will kill you!" Evergreen yelled, slamming the door again.

"That means she's worried," Another voice followed, lighter sounding than Evergreen's. Bickslow. "But also kinda murderous, so open the door."

Freed sighed, moving from his desk and walking towards the door. Out of everyone he knew, Freed would feel the least amount of guilt for not being polite and engaged with the two of them. And it was entirely possible that if Freed didn't open the door quickly, Evergreen would take it off its hinges. He didn't even know how they'd gotten into the building without having him buzz the door open.

When he opened it, he felt a small flush of guilt overtake him. Bickslow, who was normally grinning wider than Freed thought possible, had a concerned expression. Evergreen was hovering between anger and worry. Freed almost didn't understand the expression, but Evergreen made it easy for him.

By punching him in the chest, then hugging him.

"Motherfucker," She grunted into Freed's chest, and he looked down at her with a frown. He considered speaking, but thought against it. "I was worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because you've been missing for like four days, man," Bickslow said as he walked into Freed's apartment and closed the door; apparently they were staying. "You wouldn't answer your phone or any emails. Normally it feels like you reply to things before we manage to send them," He shrugged. "We wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Well," Freed said slowly. "I am."

"Then I can punch you again," Evergreen grunted, removing herself from Freed's body and slamming her fist into his arm. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Freed turned and walked back to his desk. "You know I'm okay, so is there anything else you need?"

Freed knew his friends well, and even though he had turned his back away from them, he knew they'd be exchanging looks in place of a conversation, and it annoyed Freed when his suspicions were confirmed in the window's reflection. He understood that they were worried, and he understood that they were probably angry at him for how he was acting now that they knew he was okay, but they could at least be subtle.

And why were they treating him like a child? He had known and worked with them both for years, and surely he'd proven himself to be a capable adult hundreds of times by now. For heavens sake, when they'd all been in the same office, Freed had always been the project manager. Self-appointed too. But apparently wanting some time alone meant the respect that he had earned had completely gone, and instead had been replaced by a patronising level of care from his friends. His friends who had barged their way into his house uninvited, and were now clearly talking about him behind his back, expecting him to be okay with it.

"I'd like to be left alone," Freed stated, turning to face his friends again. "So if you're going to act like I'm not here, then you might as well leave."

"Come on Freed," Bickslow sighed, and Freed stiffened slightly.

His tone was almost exhausted, as if this was a regular and tedious occurrence. Which it wasn't. This was abnormal, something that Freed had never done before, and he would hope that his friends might respect his wishes about the situation. He was about to voice this annoyance when Evergreen spoke.

"Laxus texted me," She stated, and his eyes flickered over to her.

"Saying what, exactly?" He said slowly, the demand clear. He didn't know what Laxus had thought of the situation, whether he had noticed Freed slightly leaning in when they were face to face, and frankly he was a little scared of what Evergreen was about to say.

"That you didn't leave on the best terms, and that you didn't go back to Magnolia over the weekend," She said, sitting on Freed's sofa and staring him down. "He said you didn't fight, but you've been ignoring his calls. So, what happened?"

"I don't see why I should tell you," Freed walked to his kitchen. He got himself a glass of water, not offering anything to the two of them. He hoped they would understand the passive-aggressive message behind it.

"Because it's making you act like an-"

"What she means is," Bickslow interrupted. "That if you tell us what happened, then we might be able to help out with it. Make you feel a little better."

"I don't need you to make me feel better."

"You need something, baby," Bickslow sighed, looking at Freed with an annoyingly honest smile. It cracked a little at Freed's anger, as Bickslow mostly was exaggerative with his emotions, not honest. "Because, whatever you're doing right now, it's not like you. And it doesn't look very healthy."

Freed looked to where Bickslow was looking, and huffed. It was his trash can, around which were discarded remains of takeout food.

"So I'm no longer allowed to order food for myself?" He snapped.

"Of course you are," Evergreen placated him. "But you always cook for yourself, you always have. It'd be weird for you if you ordered takeout once a week, and this is a lot more than once a week," She sighed as she caught Freed's rolled eyes. "Look, we know it's only a little thing. But you're isolating yourself and not dealing with whatever the problem is, and that's not like you. And if something's affecting you that much, then we just thought that maybe we could help you with it. Even if it's just talking it out together."

"And we can go, if you want," Bickslow continued. "But I think it'd be best if we stayed."

Freed was silent, then huffed quietly. "Tea or coffee?"

After he had prepared them their drinks, and some further light convincing from the two of them, he began to explain what had happened. He only described what he needed to: that he had slowly been getting closer to Laxus over their time together, and that he had been developing a crush. That he felt a draw to Laxus that he couldn't understand, and it was sometimes making things uncomfortable for him.

Then he explained what had happened at the carnival. How he'd been angry, and he'd instinctively gone to Laxus to change that. How they'd spent the afternoon together, doing something very close to flirting. How he'd challenged Laxus to a ridiculous game, and what had happened because of it.

How they'd nearly kissed.

How Laxus had basically fled.

"So," Evergreen spoke up again after Freed had finished. "You did something you regret, and you're embarrassed?"

"Yes, because I'm a child" Freed agreed sarcastically.

"Everyone gets embarrassed Freed, not just kids," Bickslow sighed. "But I don't think that's why you're acting like this. I think the real issue is that you were embarrassed, but it didn't bother you as much as it normally would," Freed's brow furrowed slightly, and Bickslow continued. "You almost forgot to be embarrassed because it didn't matter. You were more worried about the things you did than the situation itself. You only felt embarrassed about it when you had time to think, and that's not normal for you."

"When did you become a psychologist?" Evergreen mumbled.

"Sorry, I just spent a lot of time around them now, with work. It's interesting stuff," Bickslow chuckled to himself, patting Freed's leg. "What I'm trying to say is, I think this is one of the first time's you've kind of wanted to be vulnerable for someone. That you've actually felt that it might be worth it, and it's messing you up a bit."

"I," Freed said slowly. "I suppose that might be possible. It's true that relationships aren't an area of expertise. It's possible that might be a… contributing factor."

"You should talk to him," Evergreen suggested. "It's probably the best way to get past this."

"We nearly kissed one another, and we haven't spoken to each other since then," Freed deflected at the idea, hand wrapping tightly around the mug of tea in his hand. "And he walked away from me the moment it happened. He's hardly enthusiastic about the situation."

"He was overwhelmed," Evergreen exclaimed. "I had to stop him from taking the train up here when he found out we hadn't heard from you for days," Freed scoffed a little at that. "Freed, did it really not occur to you that he might be just as crappy with his emotions as you, he just sucks in a different, more subtle way?"

Freed didn't answer that.

With his lack of an answer, the room fell into an uncomfortable quiet. Freed was now glaring down at his tea, gripping it tightly as a rush of annoyance ran over him. Because, not only had Evergreen and Bickslow acted as if they knew his mind better than he did, but they were also trying to tell him that Laxus might have nearly kissed him as well. It was angering, because even if it was true, they were missing the point.

Laxus wasn't someone Freed could get into a relationship with; he just wasn't. Not only was the man his employee, and therefore dating him would be a large conflict of interest, but he also lived three hours away in a place that was the direct antithesis of Era. As cliché as it was, they were from different worlds.

He had a feeling that, if he said any of that out loud, they'd say he was making excuses.

Maybe he was.

"There's something else we want to talk to you about, too," Evergreen spoke again, and her voice had a cautious edge to it that caught Freed's attention. Pre-emptively, he found himself getting defensive. "We've been talking, and we know it's not your favourite thing to talk about but…"

"The last time we saw you acting like this," Bickslow continued. "It was when your dad died."

"What are you implying?" Freed asked sharply.

"We just thought that maybe the reason you've become so," Evergreen thought for a moment, clearly trying to think of a word that wouldn't antagonise Freed. It probably wouldn't work. "Closed off might be because you don't know how to deal with the fact that she's… gone."

"For god's sake," Freed grunted. "Why are you both so insistent that her death is going to destroy me in some way? I am fine."

And he was. He was perfectly fine. Yes, his mother had died a few months ago, but that didn't mean that Freed had to become an inconsolable mess. That wasn't going to happen with Freed, especially considering how he and his mother had been drifting apart, more so after his father had died. And even if they hadn't separated from one another, it didn't mean that Freed was going to have some kind of break down months after the event. That wasn't something that more emotional people went through, so why the hell did they think Freed would?

It was infuriating to think about, now that he was. The fact that the people closest to him in the world were now trying to instil some kind of grief as an explanation for his behaviour. His behaviour that, in his mind, wasn't even that bad. There had been a bad situation, he took a step back from it and tried to calm himself down. If they thought it was an unhealthy way to deal with it, that was their issue.

"We're worried that you're refusing to talk about something," Bickslow insisted. "We don't want you to be dealing with something bad on your own."

"Well that would be quite difficult given you don't seem to be leaving me alone," Freed snapped.

"Come on man," Bickslow sighed. "You don't need to get-"

"So, just allow me to clarify what's happening," Freed spoke quickly, standing up and pacing. He needed to move. "You came here after speaking to Laxus about me behind my back. Now you're here, with your own ideas about why I'm behaving in a way that you believe is antisocial and unhealthy. You then make me explain the situation in detail, then essentially explain my own feelings to me despite the fact neither of you have a damn clue about what's happening in my mind," Freed was breathing hard now, finger running over his palm and jaw tight. "And now you're ignoring all of that, and trying to bring attention to my mother's death for some reason, despite the fact that you've heard me say that I am fine multiple times."

"Freed," Evergreen said patiently – as if he were a child. Why were they treating him like this! "Maybe you should take a few minutes to-"

"You'd already concluded that my supposed 'shut down' was because of my mother's death, correct? You'd probably spoke about it together before coming here," Freed continued, anger rising still. "So why even mention Laxus? Is it just so you can continue the trend of being overly invasive in my life? The moment you realised I was befriending someone around my age who happened to be my type, you started asking pointless questions and making irritating jokes. Perhaps you just wanted more gossip and saw an opportunity."

"Okay, you're not in the best of moods, I understand," Bickslow sighed, standing up. "Maybe we should go."

"You should," Freed snapped.

"Fine," Evergreen muttered, seemingly annoyed herself now. "But turn your fucking phone on, and if Laxus calls you again then answer, because he's worried," She walked to the door, but turned before leaving. "And when you wanna call us and apologise for that last remark, I'll be waiting."

She left the apartment, huffing. Bickslow sighed, patted Freed on the shoulder with a promise of texting him later, before leaving as well.

Freed deflated slightly, falling into his desk chair while his leg jumped up and down with anxious energy. He ran a hand over his face and spun towards his desk, only to be confronted with the sight of the list he had wrote down earlier. And now, after what his friends had said, it was painfully clear that he had missed one thing that he was feeling more than anything else.

'Fear – I don't want to be alone.'

~~~

He'd fallen asleep not long after, curling onto his leather sofa, and drifting off with ease. The sudden rush of adrenaline that had accompanied his anger had deflated not soon after Bickslow and Evergreen had left. It was interesting to know that, after a volatile emotional outburst, you had an overwhelming urge to sleep.

In this situation, you also felt an overwhelming urge to apologise.

Because Bickslow and Evergreen were his friends, and always had been. They weren't the type of people to conspire against him, especially not for something as small as a damn piece of gossip about his relationship with Laxus.

In retrospect, this was entirely obvious. They were good people, and clearly had his best interests at heart. They'd come to his apartment because they were worried about him and they wanted to make sure he was okay, find out what was bothering him, and offer their advice. But, in the moment, he had felt almost attacked by the two of them, as if they were ganging up on him. He had gotten defensive and fought back against what he considered an attack on him.

Now, it felt stupid. And he felt guilty.

Phoning Evergreen would have been the first thing he did after waking up, had it not been his ringing phone being the reason he woke. He took a few second to realise what the sound was, and reached out for his phone from his coffee table; he'd turned the device back on after Evergreen and Bickslow had left. He'd seen a lot of missed texts and calls from his friends when he had.

Incoming Call: Laxus Dreyar

He reached for the mug on the table, drinking down the remainder of his now very cold tea. It woke him up slightly, and he answered the call with a small amount of nervousness filling him. They hadn't spoke since the carnival, and Freed didn't know how to deal with the situation.

"Oh, hey," Laxus voice filled Freed's ears. He sounded worried, and Freed frowned. It wasn't nice to know that he was probably to blame for that. "I didn't expect you to answer."

"Well, Evergreen said you were worried," Freed murmured, looking out his window. It was late evening now.

"Yeah, I was," Laxus agreed.

Freed almost sighed, wondering if he would have been able to admit that so openly. With Laxus, maybe he could have.

"She texted me earlier," He continued, and Freed heard a slight shifting from the phone. He absently wondered what he was doing. A ridiculous thought made worse because, if it weren't for his pride, he would have been with Laxus at that moment. "Apparently when she and Bickslow went to your place to talk to you, you kinda exploded at them."

He said that with a slight laugh in his voice, and it grated on Freed's nerves. "I don't appreciate the fact you're talking about me behind my back."

"You kicked your best friends out of your apartment," Laxus said tiredly. "We're just-"

"How did your even get her phone number?" Freed spoke over him, standing up again. "She came to Magnolia once and you spoke for about five minutes at the most."

"She added me on Facebook," Laxus explained.

"So you're not actually texting, then, are you?" Freed demanded, unaware as to why exactly he was so bothered by this little detail. But he was, and the whispered 'fucks sake' from the other side of the phone didn't help his mood. "You're actually using the messenger app, aren't you? Not the texting app. So you haven't been texting one another, you've been messaging each other. Which is a different thing."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it does, everything matters," Freed snapped. "Details are important to me, Laxus. I need to know the entire story before I can get involved. And if you-"

"Fucks sake," Laxus spoke loudly. "Will you stop fucking talking."

And he did.

"Look, I get that you ain't in a good mood, and that you probably don't wanna deal with me right now. But tough shit. You kept saying you're okay, and that you don't wanna be treated with kid gloves right?" Laxus demanded, and stupidly Freed nodded. "Well that's what I'm gonna do. So we're gonna talk, we're gonna discuss what happened, and I'm gonna make sure you get over it somehow. Because I wasn't happy when you started avoiding me, and I'm sure as hell not letting you ghost your friends and yell at them if it's because of something I did."

"I don't wish to speak about it."

"Well too fucking bad," Laxus retorted. "We're talking about it. So whenever you're ready, we're gonna start."

Despite his annoyed tone, Freed felt that Laxus was allowing him a kindness by letting him start the conversation. At least this way, he was allowed to frame the events in what way he wanted. He was also allowed some time to think, which he desperately needed. He closed his eyes for a moment, and gathered his thoughts before speaking again.

He needed to be honest. Bickslow had been right in that he felt inexplicably comfortable being vulnerable around Laxus, and he needed to take advantage of that.

"I can be obtuse, at times," Freed confessed. "And sometimes I feel compelled to do things that some people might consider… abnormal. For the most part I'm rather strict about it, but with you, I don't know, you sort of have an effect on this filter I've made. Most of the time you probably won't notice, but I doubt I would have asked to be taught plumbing and electrics from anybody else."

"There's nothing wrong with following your instincts," Laxus said calmly, and Freed felt a little struck by the sudden comfort in his voice. "Especially when it comes to what you wanna do."

"Perhaps," Freed agreed, slightly unwillingly. "But, with what happened between us, it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have…"

Freed paused. He had to say it. Had to say that he shouldn't have leant in to kiss Laxus. He shouldn't have flirted with him for an afternoon. He shouldn't have gotten so close to him despite knowing both his growing feelings and that a relationship between the two of them would be inappropriate and perhaps impossible.

"…I shouldn't have made you play the game when you clearly didn't want to. I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes, angry at himself now. Why could be not just say what he felt!

"Okay," Laxus said softly, almost as if to himself. "You don't need to feel guilty; about anything that happened. I mean, I wanted to do it too, even if I didn't make it obvious on the day."

The way Laxus was speaking, putting emphasis on certain words, made Freed pay attention. Laxus had perhaps understood that what Freed had meant to apologise for wasn't what he actually said. If that was true, then Laxus had decided that he was going to spare Freed the embarrassment of the situation and instead use the dunk tank as a metaphor. Freed was incredibly thankful, and also almost touched, by the gesture.

"I feel like I pressured you into it," Freed confessed. "That you might have thought I'd actually hold my position against you if you didn't do what I said."

"Freed, I ain't the kind of guy to be intimidated like that. If I thought you were genuinely doing that, I probably would have punched you or something," Laxus said, voice serious enough to calm Freed slightly. "And the fact is, I got up there myself, nobody forced me to do it. I knew the risks and didn't care about it. That was my choice."

A flashed memory of Laxus and Freed's faces being so close, so tantalisingly close flashed into Freed's mind. He reddened slightly at the thought.

"Are you sure?" Freed asked, needing confirmation.

"The only thing about that day that I regretted was leaving the way I did," Laxus said, with honesty in his voice. He then let out a small laugh. "Well, maybe I regret not seeing that the guy running the dunk tank had a towel that I could have used."

"I probably should have told you about that," Freed chuckled quietly.

"You saw it?" Laxus sounded aghast, probably exaggerating his annoyance to calm Freed "Bastard."

"I suppose so," Freed nodded, self-deprecatingly.

"So, are you gonna stop beating yourself up about this now that you know my side?" Laxus asked, voice sounding hopeful now. "Because you've been freaking me out not being here, I've had almost two weeks without smartass comments coming from you," He laughed, before adding honestly. "I missed ya."

"I missed you too," Freed confessed. "I'm sorry. I'll try not to worry you again."

"You don't need to apologise," Laxus assured him. "Well, not to me. Ever might disagree with that."

Freed laughed softly at that, knowing full well that he would have to apologise profusely to his friend very soon. It would most likely be accompanied by a large amount of sucking up to her, to get her favour again. Which of course he would do, because he loved the woman, as antagonising and gossipy as she could be. Though he would have to talk to her about her conversations about him behind his back, as Freed still felt like that was quite invasive.

"Can I- d'you mind if I say something that might be outta line?" Laxus spoke again.

"Of course," Freed said, frowning to himself.

"I think you should move to Magnolia," Laxus rushed his words out slightly, and spoke again before Freed could process what he said. "Not permanently, but maybe until the house is done. I mean you have a place to live there, so it won't cost anything, and I think it could be good to you to get away from Era for a few months."

"You… want me to move to Magnolia?" Freed echoed.

"I know you don't like talking about this, but I think it'll be the only way to come to terms with what happened with your mother," Laxus continued, and Freed went to speak. Laxus got there first. "I get you don't want sympathy, and I'm not giving it to you. But I get what it's like to lose your mother, and have everyone around you expecting you to act in a certain way. It's like they want you to feel sad all the time, and it's like your failing at grief if you're not. People don't get that, but I do."

Freed understood that. Peoples expectations of his grief had bothered him for months.

"W my mom died, I didn't wanna be the sad kid with a dead mom," Laxus sighed. "I did everything I could not to be that kid. But I didn't know what the hell to do, so I just kept going like I was normal. I went to school, I cussed out teachers, I beat kids up. I thought I was fine because everything I was doing was what I normally did. And when I got kicked out, and I lost that structure, I had to get used to who I was now, without her. I couldn't pretend I was who I was before losing her, and had to deal with it."

"So," Freed said after a moment's thinking. "You believe that it would be best for me to leave my normal life so I can… come to terms with her death," He surmised. "Doesn't that seem like I'm running away from the problem?"

"You ain't running away from anything. You're not the type," Laxus had a small smile in his voice. "What you'd be doing is letting yourself grow into the person you are without her, rather than clinging to who you were before."

Freed was silent for a moment, before letting out a single laugh. "You therapist was smart, wasn't she?"

"She was," Laxus agreed.

"Annoying though," Freed continued.

"Definitely," Laxus laughed, before speaking softly. "You're gonna consider it then?"

"I will," Freed nodded.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Good," Laxus smiled. "Now, let's talk about you not mentioning the towel to me."

With the joke, Freed felt his relationship to Laxus normalise again. He could almost cry with the relief that flooded through him.

[sebastianshaw]

I'M HERE TO YELL ABOUT THE WEREMOLES AGAIN THEY'RE REALLY AMAZING AND INTERESTING AND UNIQUE AND I LOVE THEM

-While a lot of the other Changing Breeds all dislike each other for one reason or another, or at best just don't interact, the moldwarps actually had it in their laws to aid their cousins in their respective duties for which Gaia created each of them, but -- "Killing Sceatha with the Garou, allowing Ratkin to travel to Run’s End, or showing the Moldwarp Burrows to other Breeds’ Kinfolk all fall outside of the realms of acceptable aid." CLEARLY THE RATKIN DID SOMETHING LIKE I HAVE NO DOUBT THERE IS GOOD REASON FOR THAT RULE (the wererats are chaos incarnate and I love them) -k so there is basically a trinity of spirits in this setting, the Triat---the Wyld, the Weaver, the Wyrm. Generally speaking, everyone is fighting the Wyrm and sometimes also the Weaver. But the moldwarps seek true balance between all three. And there's a small group of them called Apes Redeemers who want to basically exorcise the Weaver AND Wyrm out of human beings--- "Redeemers take humans in direct service to the Weaver, or with strong behavioural traits in its favour, and attempt to cleanse them through a mixture of psychological abuse, isolation, and repurposed rites. Freethinking Moldwarps shun this Hill’s ideals as quite beyond the pale, but Redeemers hold up examples of humans who have been forced into bestial states of primitive regression, the Weaver’s hold utterly stripped away, as evidence that their methods are in fact effective." (The Weaver is like...organization, society, technology, tools, etc. Normal humans are very much Weaver creatures.) - AW BUT THERE ARE ALSO PLAGUE DOCTOR MOLDWARPS WHO GO TO DISEASE RIDDEN AREAS TO TREAT PEOPLE - In addition to being the jailers of Gaia, they are also the undertakers, burying the dead of other creatures - There are different “Warrens” or types of weremole, based on their role in weremole society and the jobs they have. Most notable to me are the Cleansers and the Wardens. Cleansers “strive to emulate the motherly aspect of Gaia in all that they do. Calm and considerate, their lot is to cure the fallen, correcting their spiritual bearing and keeping them healthy during their stay in the Den. Sadly, despite their caring natures, Cleansers make for arguably the worst weremoles to act as the face of a Sett while interacting with other Fera. Speaking of tainted beings as patients needing treatment wins few friends in the wider shapeshifter community, and Cleansers find it difficult to adjust to the more punitive mindset broadly shared by most Fera.” “ They act as their communities’ confidants and carers, conduits for the worries, stresses, and strains which would otherwise hinder important work” “ Passionate and creative both in conflict and at peace, Cleansers tend to the Burrows’ feeding, nursing, and childrearing tasks outside of their main duties” “ Most Cleansers adopt a calm and measured persona following their Vision Crawl, and are incredibly difficult to infuriate.” Whereas the Wardens are “the closest thing a Burrow has to a standing force of warriors” and “the least empathic of all Warrens. Where Cleansers are the good cops, the Wardens are their counterparts, expected to keep Sceatha in line by any means necessary for them to be successfully rehabilitated. They embody force, conviction, and authority, and are granted Gifts which reflect such qualities in order to contain and recover the corrupted.” “ these Moles are tough, courageous, and stoic. These qualities are much called upon, for it is their burden to contain, monitor, and protect Sceatha held in captivity” “ Wardens embody intimidation, conviction, and authority in every action they take. This can sometimes be expressed with the exciting encouragement of an elder sibling, the sternness of a loving parent, or the detached professional attitudes of their human namesakes.” There are others, like Trackers and Diggers and Architects, but those are more concerned with burrowing tunnels or simply finding/retrieving Sceatha (Wyrm-tainted or otherwise corrupt creatures in need of healing/rehabilitation) rather than actually guarding and treating them, so they’re of less interest to me. The Diggers do also make tunnels in the Umbra, which is the spirit world, which is a pretty cool concept. - Their Homid (human) forms are as wonderfully unglamorous as moles themselves-- “ usually naturally heavy, with excessive body hair and poor eyesight. Their hands and feet are often disproportionately large compared to their small stature and otherwise short limbs, but for these physical shortfalls they make up with greater levels of strength, health, smell, hearing, and directional coordination” A far cry from the ridiculously sexy werewolf boyfriends of paranormal romance fiction. Love it. They also typically have jobs in sanitation or rehabilitation-- “ These individuals find employment as city planners, prison guards and wardens, subway and sewer maintenance operatives, and similar jobs focused around organisation, rehabilitation, and the conservation of resources both material and human. It’s a rare occurrence that an up-and-coming track athlete or singer enters the Vision Crawl.” Again, love it. - Their Crinos form (the hybrid form or “war form”) is HORRIFYING-- “ a large amalgamation of mole and human standing at 7 feet tall and over 80 stone in weight, a hunched monster which could never exist in the natural order of the surface world [. . .] twisted faces and sightless eyes [. . .] Knife-like teeth protrude along the length of their muzzles and shovelling claws grow from each clubbed hand” - Most wereanimals are weak to silver. Some varieties are weak to gold. But weremoles are weak to obsidian and other black gems. - Unlike most wereanimals, moldwarps can become vampires, and these unfortunate creatures are called The Baogane, also known as Bugbears. They are the saddest things I have ever heard of. “ The existence of a Baogane poses burning questions to her Sett. Should she receive an honourable Final Death and be given over to Gaia? Should she be put through arduous cleansing in the small hope it works? Or, more dubiously, should she be allowed to serve the Burrow eternally? Setts who are unfortunate enough to lose one of their own to a Leech make their own decisions on what to do with their fallen kin.” “ Baoganes look similar to how they did in life, save for their fangs being unnaturally long even for vampires. In Crinos form, these fangs splay out either side of their face to resemble the curved tusks of a boar, and sometimes punch through the flesh of their gums and lips. The fur of all forms - even Homid hair - becomes permanently sharp, coarse, and patchy, again similar to that of a boar.” “ Soil does not merely cling to the fur and skin of a Bugbear as it would to any other subterranean creature, but latches on with supernatural power, reflecting the earth’s desire to see such a monster dead and buried. Over the space of but a few nights, the Moldwarp may become so covered in filth and earthen debris that her size and shape cannot be discerned.” “ Baoganes often spend their unlives trapped within cleansing chambers, awaiting rehabilitation that may never come without their much-sought-after destruction. Many are granted the Thing of Salvation, though some willing penitents are denied even that.” The “Thing of Salvation” of course, is final death. The weremoles call very important ceremonies or celebrations, Things. Thing of Deliverance, Thing of the Hill, etc. - I honestly can’t overstate how new and crazy it is they wish to rehabilitate the Wyrm-tainted and save the Wyrm itself. For DECADES the entire point of this game has been FUCK UP THE WYRM’S SHIT. The Wyrm has always been the ultimate evil, even more so than the Weaver who is technically the one at fault for it going crazy, and EVERY wereanimal has had “destroy the Wyrm’s servants” in their own laws. And yet in the weremole’s laws, you’re NOT allowed to kill Sceatha unless your own life is threatened---” Sceatha are not of sound mind and so do not deserve unnecessary harm, irrespective of their most vile actions; only once they are cured are they to be judged as independent beings by the rest of the world. If that judgment is death, then they must be returned to Gaia without delay. Destroying befouled artefacts out of hand, meanwhile, is wasteful and disrespectful of their already-violated spirits.” Like this is just...so out of line from EVERY OTHER WERECREATURE it’s WILD, and it’s no wonder all the other critters are distrustful of them AT BEST. - So, Run’s End, that place they don’t ever let the Ratkin go? It sounds AMAZING, like so beautiful and spooky. It’s this realm “where death and decay occur, but peacefully and purely. This peace, however, is maintained only by the avid cleansing of its space by high-ranking Moldwarps, making it a nigh-impenetrable refuge of solemn deathliness suspended between zones of total corruption. Only by travelling along the Run, or traversing the turbulent dimensions held up by Run’s End to eventually find a border between worlds, may a being enter this place of pure, tranquil death. All is not quite as it should be, of course, for vicious battles constantly rage at the borders of Run’s End” “ The geography of Run’s End is reminiscent of an ancient Mayan jungle, at the heart of which stands a colossal obsidian temple to the Balance Wyrm, the structure in which the Lord of the Run resides beside his High Scrivein, Sanctus, and Thegn. This temple, the Body of Death, plays host to any great debate waged by high-Ranking Moldwarps, including each and every Althing. Around the Body of Death stretches the Fungal Forest, with mycelial growths a hundred metres tall stretching as far as the eye can see, generating natural luminescences of deep purple, dark red, and ochre green. From the unseen roof of the realm slowly descend all manner of remains - of humans, animals, plants, and even concepts, hopes, and dreams long forgotten - like snowflakes, landing gently atop the fungal canopy to be slowly digested. A fine film of red, brown, and green covers the undergrowth, having seeped down from the mushroom caps high above. Amongst these fungi are found equally decomposed but animate carrion beasts of all varieties lapping up the rotting fluids: insects, corvids, and Consumer Worms as long and thick as oak trunks winding amongst the mushroom stumps, soaking in the decay Despite its dire aspect, the fear of death for any being present in the Fungal Forest is simply absent; the fact that death comes for all is readily apparent, but comes as a comfort. Though not part of the Underworld proper, the Forest is a manifestation of final rest. From the gentle dripping of corpse-fluid to the slow undulation of the Consumer Worms, there is no violation or undue destruction in this Forest, only the equalising end of all things. Indeed, all beings who enter Run’s End begin decaying almost immediately; only those with some form of supernatural regeneration, or whose protection has been specifically petitioned for, may withstand it. Equally, the Body of Death allows only full-blooded Moldwarps to enter, with instant death and rapid decomposition coming to all others. At the Obsidian Reach, young and old Moldwarps alike dig to find something that they believe will bring them renown and acclaim, with no actual promise that anything lies beneath. The Obsidian Reach was actually discovered by the Gazers of the Deep during their very first visit. The Reach is infinitely high and wide and consists of solid obsidian, which naturally is almost unbreakable by Moldwarp standards. The stone itself bears the scratch marks and gouges of generations of claws trying to breach its shell. Beyond the stone’s infinite blackness, it has been told, are beings swept up in a storm mocking those who try to reach them, lands of shining cyclopean architecture, and even the resting bodies of mighty but unborn giants. Such claims are overlooked by all but the Gazers, but this does not prevent adventurers from ceaselessly trying to breach this inky vault.” LIKE THIS IS SO EERIE AND UNNERVING AND YET STRANGELY LOVELY AND SOOTHING TO ME? I AM REALLY LOVING MOLDWARP LORE

[shesey]

Wintering by Katherine May

“Wintering is a season in the cold. It is a fallow period in life when you’re cut off from the world, feeling rejected, sidelined, blocked from progress, or cast into the role of an outsider. Perhaps it results from an illness; perhaps from a life event such as a bereavement or the birth of a child; perhaps it comes from a humiliation or failure. Perhaps you’re in a period of transition, and have temporarily fallen between two worlds. Some winterings creep upon us more slowly, accompanying the protracted death of a relationship, the gradual ratcheting up of caring responsibilities as our parents age, the drip-drip-drip of lost confidence. Some are appallingly sudden, like discovering one day that your skills are considered obsolete, the company you worked for has gone bankrupt, or your partner is in love with someone new. However it arrives, wintering is usually involuntary, lonely, and deeply painful. Yet it is also inevitable. We like to imagine that it’s possible for life to be one eternal summer, and that we have uniquely failed to achieve that for ourselves.” “Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximizing scant resources, carrying out acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that’s where the transformation occurs. Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible. Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season when the world takes on a sparse beauty, and even the pavements sparkle. It’s a time for reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.” “That’s what humans do: we make and remake our stories, abandoning the ones that no longer fit and trying on new ones for size.” “In the changing room later, I experience a different kind of warmth: the nakedness of a dozen women, all unashamed. These aren’t the posing bodies you find on the beach, dieted beyond al joy to be bikini-ready, and tanned as an act of disguise. These are northern bodies, slack-bottomed and dimpling, with unruly pubic hair and the scars of hysterectomies, chattering companionably in a language I don’t understand. They are a glimpse of life yet to come: a message of survival, passed on through the generations. It’s a message I rarely find in my buttoned-up home country, and I think about the times I’ve suffered silent furies at the treacheries of my own body, imagining them to be unique.” “Ghost stories may be a part of the terror of Halloween, but our love of ghost stories betrays a far more fragile desire: that we do not fade so easily from this life.” “Winter has decorated ordinary life. Some days, everything sparkles.” “You realize that no one is what they look like, on the surface. Everybody has their dose of suffering; it’s just more hidden in some than in others.” “I think about this a lot, she says, the needle breaks the fabric in order to repair it. You can’t have one without the other.” “In the absence of sunlight, it would be too costly to maintain the machinery of growth.” “I’m fairly certain that my decision not to have a second child rests squarely on my worship of sleep.” “I have nothing to show for my forty-odd years on this earth, except for a pile of dusty books.” “4am. The ego flares like a struck match: bright, blue, fleeting. I am thankful to be alone when this happens, to let it burn out in private. We should sometimes be grateful for the solitudes of night, of a winter. They save us from displaying our worse selves to the waking world.” “Certainty is a dead space in which there’s no more room to grow. Wavering is painful. I’m glad to be travelling between the two.” “Sometimes writing is a race against your own mind, as your hand labours to keep up with the flood tide of your thoughts, and I feel that most acutely at night, when there are no competing demands on my attention. That slightly sleepy, dazed state erods the barriers of my waking brain.” “I can confess all my sins to a piece of paper, with no one to censor it.” “Our personal winters are so often accompanies by insomnia, but perhaps we are still drawn towards that unique space of intimacy and contemplation, darkness, and silence, without really knowing what we’re seeking. Perhaps, after all, we are being urged towards our own comfort.” “Lucy is a symbol of absolute faith and utter purity, but the sins for which she suffers are not her own. Instead, she shoulders the weight of the male gaze, and is destroyed by it.” “Some winters creep up on us so slowly that they have infiltrated every part of our lives before we truly feel them.” “We felt broken into pieces, but at the same time, never so loved.” “We changed our focus away from pushing through with normal life, and towards making a new one. When everything is broken, everything is also up for grabs. That’s the gift of winter: it’s irresistible. Change will happen in its wake, whether we like it or not. We can come out of it wearing a different coat.” “I could have stood there and cried on the spot, just knowing that I wasn’t alone.” “I felt accepted in a way that I hand’t for months.” “This isn’t just an unkind attitude, it does us harm, because it stops us from learning that disaster happens, and how to adapt when it does. It stops us from reaching out to people who are suffering. And, when our own disaster comes, it forces us into a humiliated retreat, as we try to hunt down mistakes that we never made in the first place.” “I simply had no defence against the changes that were happening in my life.” “Life never does quite offer us those simply happy endings. I often that that it’s all part of my own craving: the moral clarity of cause and effect, reward and punishment for my actions. A map for living that renders everything explicable.” “All her desires were for elemental things: love, a little comfort, the society of interesting people. Everyday life is so often isolated, dreary, and lonely. A little craving is understandable. A little craving might actually be the rallying cry for survival.” “I love the inconvenience [of snow] the same way that I can sneakingly love a bad cold: the irresistible disruption to mundane life, forcing you to stop for a while and step outside of your normal habits.” “In autumn, the male drones are sacrificed because they’re no longer of any use, and would otherwise just be hungry mounts to feed.”  “Our lives take different shapes: we do not work in a linear progression through fixed roles like the honeybee. We are not consistently useful to the world at large. We talk about the complexity of the hive, but human societies are infinitely more complex, full of choices and mistakes, periods of glory and seasons of utter despair. Some of us make highly visible, elaborate contributions to the whole; some of us are just part of the ticking mechanics of the world, the incremental wealth of small gestures. All of it matters. All of it weaves the wider fabric that binds us.” “We may sometimes drift through years in which we feel like a negative presence in the world, but we come back again, not only restored, but bringing more than we brought before: more wisdom, more compassion, a greater capacity to reach deep into our roots and know that we will find water.” “Usefulness, in itself, is a useless concept when it comes to humans. I don’t think we were ever meant to think about others in terms of their use to us.” “We flourish on caring, on doling out love.” “Winter is a time for the quiet arts of making: for knitting and sewing, baking and simmering, repairing and restoring our homes.” “We sing because it fills our lungs with nourishing air, and lets our heart soar with the notes we let out. We sing because it allows us to speak of love and loss, delight and desire, all encoded in lyrics that let us pretend that those feelings are not quite ours.” “As I walk, I remind myself ot the words of Alan Watts: ‘To hold your breath is to lose your breath.’ In The Wisdom of Insecurity, Watts makes a case that always convinces me, but which I always seem to forget: that life is, by nature, uncontrollable. That we should stop trying to finalize our comfort and security somehow, and instead find a radical acceptance of the endless, unpredictable change that is the very essence of this life. Our suffering, he says, comes from the fight we put up against this fundamental truth: ‘Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is in pain. The thinker has no other form than his thought. There is no escape.” “The future, to which we devote so much of our brainpower, is an unstable element, entirely unknowable.” “When we endlessly ruminate in these distant times, we miss extraordinary things in the present moment. They are, in actual fact, all we have: the here and now; the direct perception of our senses.” “I’m beginning to think that unhappiness is one of the simple things in life: a pure, basic emotion to be respected, if not savoured. I would never dream of suggesting that we should wallow in misery, or shrink from doing everything we can to alleviate it; but I do think it’s instructive. After all, unhappiness has a function: it tells us that something is going wrong. If we don’t allow ourselves the fundamental honesty of our own sadness, then we miss an important cue to adapt. We seem to be living in an age when we’re bombarded with entreaties to be happy, but we’re suffering from an avalanche of depression; we’re urged to stop sweating the small stuff, and yet we’re chronically anxious. I often wonder if these are just normal feelings that become monstrous when they’re denied. A great deal of life will always suck. There will be moments when we’re riding high, and moments when we can’t bear to get out of bed. Both are normal. Both, in fact, require a little perspective.” “We need friends who wince along with our pain, who tolerate our gloom, and who allow us to be weak for a while when we’re finding our feet again. We need people who acknowledge that we can’t always hang on in there; that sometimes, everything breaks.” “I recognized winter. I saw it coming (a mile off, since you ask), and I looked it in the eye,. I greeted it, and let it in. I had some tricks up my sleeve, you see. I’ve learned them the hard way. When I started feeling the drag of winter, I began to treat myself like a favoured child: with kindness and love. I assumed my needs were reasonable, and that my feelings were signals of something important.” “We tend to imagine that our lives are linear, but they are in fact cyclical. I would not, or course, seek to deny that we grow gradually older, but while doing so, we pass through phases of good health and ill, of optimism and deep doubt, of freedom and constraint.”

[mz-elysium]

Wow. That was a lot longer than I planned. Do we even do comic sans wip posts anymore? It it cool? Am I cool? 

Photo ID below the cut because this is already way too fucking long of a post. And this ID, bc of it, is so so long.

Photo ID: a 13 slide Comic Sans font powerpoint about an original WIP. All slides but the first are white, black text, all font being Comic Sans to follow the meme.

Slide 1: black background, white text. Titled with red shadow: The City of Fallen Angels: (2) Hitaeth. Definition below: hiraeth: homesickness or nostalgia, an earnest longing for an idealised past, or a sense of regret. Around this title are a bunch of floating descriptors about the WIP: vampires, gothic-punk, regrets vs forgiveness, dark urban fantasy, historical 2003, 4 POVs, secrets, political intrigue, slice of life, compassion vs selfishness, vampires playing Game of Thrones, grimdark and also hopepunk. A Vampire the Masquerade canon divergent original novel.

Slide 2: Worldbuilding, about the Vampire the Masquerade world. Titled: The canon sects but like a little more nuanced. Three columns of bullet points follow. 

The first is the Camarilla. 

neo-feudal lords and princes

rule most of the world

want to rule the rest of it

scheming, old elders who don’t give a shit about anyone else

will kill your family to make a point

BUT ALSO.

stable domains; due process

clan culture, history, tradition

connected to wider vampire society

play their game and you can live as a peaceful peasant (mostly)

The second column is the Anarchs.

rebellious neonates/ancillae

in their Free States, there’s opportunity for power and to live your own life

neonates can actually own land??

ALSO

literal anarchy

no real oversight or leadership

can and will be killed by another gang

“if you can hold it, you can have it”

Third column is the Sabbat

worship Caine as the First Murderer (first vampire)

take “vampire” too literally

inhuman monsters

war cult readying for Armageddon

ALSO

profoundly religious

strict code of honour

accept their inhumanity (no angst)

tight-knit family-like packs

heroes/crusaders for their ppl

Slide 3: Titled: Have a shitty map. A Google map screenshot of Central Los Angeles, with highlighted sections in different colours, clearly done in Paint by a child. Seven sections are highlighted, explained on the next slide.

Slide 4: The lands are divided by the sect who control it.

Anarchs:

Angels Wasteland: remains of the #peaceful Barony of Angels. With Salvador Garcia’s death, it’s a shitshow chaotic warzone. 

Tinseltown: Isaac Abrams, movie baron, just wants to be left alone.

East LA: ruled by loyalists of the Old Guard Anarchs, who are all dead/gone. Sabbat from further east are smelling weakness.

Downtown: technically “no baron” but also nines is baron. Typical Anarchs, shooting each other, living rough, living free. OR ARE THEY???

Camarilla:

The Valley: a praxis backed by legendary elders, who are propelled by faceless masters, using unwilling Prince Barty Vaughn as a pawn

Westside: greedy and ambitious LaCroix goes “hmm. la looks like shit. probably wanna get in on that” and calls up his contact, Therese Voerman and says “yo. u got a barony, huh? wanna be my seneschal?”

“Independent”

Silver Lake: a desperate grab by Monroe and co to build their own “utopia” … sorta like the Anarchs 60yrs ago… and look how THAT went. Monroe ate the last Old Guard Anarch.

Slide 5: Titled: Monroe’s POV, with a subtitle of The Captain. On the left, a photo of half of a man’s face in shadow. He has dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and a hard expression. Bullet points describe him as Matthew Monroe, Clan Ventrue, Embraced 1873, Humanity 5, age 28. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

this is a dude drowning in an ocean of Problems and his catchphrase is “I’ll figure it out”

he owes a life debt to the enigmatic powerful archon in the Valley (Jan Pieterzoon), who seems to respect/honour him more than most of LA.

he used to be besties with the Valley Prince (Barty Vaughn), who he can’t trust but seems? the same?

he turned his ghoul and secret love into a vampire (Hawthorne), against her wishes, and now she hates him. monroe: u kno what? that’s fair.

Silver Lake is held together with duct tape. monroe’s right hand (Ashley Swan) is a nightmare and untrustworthy. his people try to kill each other.

he’s got a lot of unresolved trauma/grief/abuse/anger and vampires sort of have “The Beast”, a spirit that haunts them with evil

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 6: Titled: Monroe’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a very pale man with purple eyes and a lock of ice blonde hair. Ashley Swan, the Thorn, Clan Toreador. Monstrously cruel, sarcastic, hedonistic, aggressive, sadistic, can’t be trusted, doesn’t wear shirts. Bisexual transman.

Second, a photo of a dour woman with dark hair. Audrey Hawthorne, the Lovechilde, Clan Ventrue. Blinded by the Embrace, furious, frustrated, grieving, snarky, over accomplished, creative, passionate.

Third, a man in a black suit looking over a ballroom with a crystal chandelier. Jan Pieterzoon, the Kingmaker, Clan Ventrue. 300 year old, archon, elder, sire is Camarilla big-shot, dignified, mysterious, chessmaster, honourable, elite.

Fourth, a man in a dress shirt, sleeve rolled up, hand extended with a cigarette and bloody palm. Barty Vaughn, the Valley Prince, Clan Ventrue. Former Anarch, Prince of San Francisco, now reluctant Prince of LA. Smokes like a chimney, lives to fuck Tremere and have fun.

Slide 7: Titled: Zari’s POV, with a subtitle of The Black Rose. On the left, a photo of a beaming dark-skinned Black woman with bouncy coily black hair. Bullet points describe her as Zari Adeyemi-Swan, Clan Toreador, Embraced 1973, Humanity 6, age 27. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life sucks, it’s cruel, and there’s no point thinking on the past, even when the past comes to haunt you

she fled her foster sire and once-lover (Ashley Swan) for his cruelty to others, but now he offers maybe?genuine? amends.

thirty years ago, she left her human children. her daughter (Aisha Adeyemi) has been Embraced and brings bad news

her main way of #coping is working and distracting herself. she throws herself to infiltrate the Westside Camarilla court (Sebastian LaCroix), against all good advice.

soon after she arrives, she finds herself having a secret admirer (Mercurio), who reminds her how precious it is to be loved, held, and cared for — but they need to overcome their own instincts to accept what they could have

The Voerman sisters are in the thick of it all, making perfect cautionary allies and, if she can overcome her preconceptions, friends.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 8: Titled: Zari’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a white man wearing mirrored sunglasses in front of orange-pink neon. It casts his face and smile eerily. Ashley Swan, the Foster Sire, Clan Toreador, monstrously cruel, charismatic, loyal, thorough, too clever, pleasurable. Bi transman.

Second, a photo of a white man in a suit, adjusting his cuffs. Sebastian LaCroix, the Westside Prince, Clan Ventrue, opportunistic benefactor, greedy, ambitious, petulant, ruthless, degrading.

Third, a white man in a paisley shirt, gold necklaces, putting a hand to a tattooed and exposed chest. Mercurio, the Admirer, LaCroix’s Ghoul, resourceful, sweet, empathetic, capable, romantic, salt of the earth, former Mafia hitman.

Fourth, a white woman in a black suit with delicate gold jewelry. The Voermans, the Mirrored Sisters, Clan Malkavian; one is brutal, calculating, patient, reckless, the other is seductive, fun-loving, innovative, insightful.

Slide 9: Titled: Charlie’s POV, with a subtitle of The Moonchilde. In small text, a line says “a.k.a. Me processing grief over my mother #coping. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced white woman with freckles, black eyeliner, and frizzy brown curls. Bullet points describe her as Charlie Bradley, Clan Malkavian, Embraced 2003, Humanity 8, age 20, lesbian. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life is getting back to normal? well, “new normal”

as a new adult, she has a good ol’ fashioned “start of life” crisis: who am I? where do I fit in? complicated by her mother’s death a year ago. what sort of woman am I? how does this figure into my attraction to women?

maybe. maybe. maybe monroe is cold and distant and ruling a vampire kingdom, but he wants to look after me. maybe i should let him.

also, hey, you (Jesse Harper) get it. and you’re hurting. let me help, let me be your soft place to land. wow, okay, this is kissing.

she didn’t mean to ruin her sire’s (Rhys Wilson) life. but, she did. she killed his mentor. SHHH! secret! she feel bad. maybe friends? uh, okay, weirdo. maybe D&D.

she’s learning to deal with feeding on scumbags and giving what people got coming to them. and the Cobweb, supernatural psychosis

WHY ARE VAMPIRES LIKE THIS? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? FFS

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 10: Titled: Charlie’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a white man in the middle of screaming, his head swaying back and forth so it looks like he has three heads. Rhys Wilson, the Sire, Clan Malkavian, weirdo, prime D&D fanatic and DM, just wants friends, and vengeance, pulls pranks to teach lessons. Gay.

Second, a very strong white woman with her arms crossed, a tattoo on one, and a t-shirt that is obscured but clearly says “The future is female”. Jesse Harper, the Darkness, Clan Lasombra, former vampire hunter, reluctant vampire, brooding, mysterious, sullen, black trench coat, buff as fuck, brave. Lesbian.

Third, a pair of clasped hands, male over female. Monroe, the Stepsire, Clan Ventrue, fucking old, inhuman, kills too easily, sincere, honourable, intense, gives good advice but really should shut his mouth hole.

Slide 11: Titled: Jack’s POV, with a subtitle of The Lone Wolf. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced strong Chinese man with a shaggy and tufted mullet. Bullet points describe him as Jack Shen, Clan Gangrel, Embraced 1955, Humanity 7, age 25, gay. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

why does he always end up alone? people leave, people die, people drift and change, but the good times were worth it

he’s always had a rocky relationship with his lover (Ryuko Saito), but now the dumbass has found a cult promising power.

he hasn’t lost him. he hasn’t. him and ryu just take time apart sometimes. but it’s been a long fucking while. and jack isn’t sure who he is alone anymore. a new human friend (Dustin Cohen), working at his animal hospital gives new life.

his former best friend (Damsel) has dove deep into Downtown and managing as Nines’ lieutenant, bringing him more and more dirty work to clean up

monroe relies on him to reign in the chaos of vampires trying to live without killing each other.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 12: Titled: Jack’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a young white woman with dyed fire-engine red hair and an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Damsel, the Lieutenant, Clan Brujah, naive, brash, physical, loyal, loud-mouthed, smart.

Second, a skinny man in an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt and jeans. Ryuko Saito, the Orphan, Mage, power-hungry, desperate, proud, ruthless, loving, isolated, crushingly lonely, gremlin, old and chronic pain, hides and “treats” it with magic.

Third, a white hand extending a hummingbird to fly free. Dustin Cohen, the Receptionist, Human, understanding, the best of Good Dudes, empathetic, kinda lame outsider

Slide 13: Titled: also. A moodboard on the right side includes two weeping stone angels, one at sunset, one in darkness between a tarnished and broken silver crown; a gas station in LA as seen through a rainy car window; grim-looking downtown city buildings; and a sidewalk curb with neon lights reflecting off a puddle and a plastic bag of takeout garbage strewn across.

On the left, bullet points follow.

about 100 million other characters. I legit have a spreadsheet

Everyone is capable of evil

Sins of the sire (father)

Never too late to start being a good person

Takes place  about 6 months before Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines

At least one more novel in the works

Subheading, 22/55 chapters written. Gonna start posting September 28.

End ID.

[natsubeatsrock]

Why is My Hero Academia a school series?

Look, I'm not stupid.

The series is called My Hero Academia. Of course, this series would focus on a school-like setting. I'm not arguing that this series should have fundamentally changed into something completely different than what it ended up becoming. That would be ridiculous, especially considering that's part of what makes this series so unique.

What I am asking is why UA is an actual school. As in, why do we have to have finals, sports festivals, cultural festivals, summer breaks, and class trips in this anime?

The crazy thing is that I wouldn't have thought about this normally. I've seen arguments regarding the popularity of this genre. It would make sense that someone would think to combine the format of the DBZ-style battle action series with that of a school setting anime. The fact that this series is so popular, as far as I can tell, is at least partially because it combines both of these elements fairly well.

You'll never guess what actually got me to start thinking about this.

Keijo!!!!!!!!

I wish I was joking.

In that anime, the characters are also a part of a special school that's made specifically for them to learn the sport. The main difference is that the school they're a part of isn't a high school. In fact, they're all doing this after high school. The school feels like an alternative to college and only exists to train students into becoming better Keijo players. Their classes and activities revolve around improving their skills in and knowledge of Keijo.

This deals with something that’s kind of annoying about shows with school settings. I’ve said this before but it’s rare that a show that takes place in a school setting focuses on the schooling. I don’t mean that tests or school subjects are plot points. I mean, we’re not likely to get an arc where Horikoshi actually teaches his audience how to perform the kinds of differential equations Deku got wrong recently.

With that in mind, why is UA High an actual school? Is there a reason My Hero Academia needed to take place in an actual school? What was stopping UA from being a similar type of school for hero work?

As of the time I'm writing this, we've seen two events animated that would be characteristic of a school anime: sports festival and cultural festival. I could count internships, final exams, summer training camps, and work-study, but I figure that something similar to those things could happen if UA wasn't a normal school. Keijo even has its own form of summer training.

What was the point of the cultural festival?

Well, there really isn't one.

Of course, there's a reason to have a cultural festival. It's a break from the work students have done up to that point and serves as a chance for the non-hero classes to shine. I'm not here to say those things aren't important in the lives of high school students. Most of my favorite high school memories were made outside of the classroom. And, considering I have degrees in music, it would be wrong to act like all kids should do in school is learning.

But the only reason this happens is that they're an actual school. Maybe the support class and business classes get some experience and exposure. However, it's not as if there aren't ways for them to get that exposure. With UA's prestige, they could have an event similar to the sports festival to gain more eyes on their students

Speaking of which, what is the point of the sports festival in UA?

The sports festival is described as a great source of competitive entertainment. In a sense, it replaces the Olympics in terms of scale and importance for a lot of people. For the students, it can serve as a networking opportunity for work studies, internships, and future jobs with agencies.

But does this need to take the form of a sports festival?

I don't think it would be impossible to have the same benefits if they were competing with other schools. It would benefit a wider amount of people in a lot more schools. You can also section off groups so that hero studies students compete amongst each other, support studies students have their own event, and so on.

Of course, this isn't a perfect suggestion. There's the matter of having a large enough facility to have this kind of event and how an even larger crowd of students is thinned into a group small enough to have a tournament fight. Not to mention, something like Shinsou's rise to the hero classes was only possible because everyone was competing across classes and disciplines. That might not be the case if it fights are sectioned off.

However, this kind of thing isn't impossible. Fairy Tail has two different types of big competitions: the Grand Magic Games (for wizards and mages) and the Grand Secret Treasure Games (for treasure hunters). Heck, Keijo's anime culminates into a competition between the two elite keijo schools in Japan on either side of the country. Again, that was what got me to think about this in the first place.

Though, there are benefits to the structure of MHA as a school anime.

When I think of MHA as a universe, I think of it as similar to the X-Men universe, but with the emphasis on powers swapped. If you don't know, the X-Men universe focuses on the fact that people with mutations and mutant powers are the oppressed minority. The series is largely centered around the Xavier Institute for Gifted Individuals, which is a school for mutants to better learn their powers. The world of MHA feels like it's a similar world but one where Professor X has long won and mutants have become not only accepted but the norm of society.

In my opinion, this aspect of the world is one of the best things about the series. MHA is built around the idea that quirks are as commonplace as skin tones and hair colors, even if individual quirks affect either one individually. The idea that someone could be a hero is treated the same way that any other potential profession is: you get the training you need to do well at it and do it, killing as few people as possible in the process. 

We already have high schools that focus on stuff like STEM and arts in addition to normal education in our world. That multiple schools focus on being heroes isn't a bad thing. It goes to show how much quirks have affected the lives of the characters in universe.

And high school isn't a bad time to set this type of education. It's mentioned early on in the series that people usually develop their quirks early on in life and are counseled on the use of their quirks. So, by the time a person enters high school, they've presumably had plenty of time to understand their quirk to a reasonable degree. 

High school is an interesting time in life. A lot of what you thought to be true even in middle school about yourself and the world turns out to change or be proven false. If you want to push the boundaries of what your body can do, it makes sense to do it when several other assertions and considerations prove themselves to be either true or false.

To be fair, it is weird to see kids so young in the dangerous situations we see them in. It’s probably the most reasonable justification behind the costume redesigns I mentioned earlier in the week. As much as I would have likely disagreed, I was not ready to take on the world at 16. I was barely able to take on English classes. (Go figure.)

At the same time, it’s exactly because I was a 16-year old private school boy that I get why MHA strikes a chord with so many people. I totally wish that my high school was like UA. I wish that I got to do the stuff that UA planned (read: I want to the stuff 1-A got to do and not worry about the League). Disney World and two trips to Carnegie Hall pail in comparison to just the festival events.

In Conclusion:

MHA wouldn’t be broken if it weren’t based in an actual school. However, the fact that it is set in a school is a cool element of world building.

[schraubd]

If You're One in a Million...

Many of you are familiar with the saying "If you're one in a million, there are a thousand people just like you in China alone." It helps illustrate that while one in a million is certainly very rare, on another way of looking it at it's also quite common. A thousand people! You could fill a high school gymnasium with that! Push the proportion down a bit and things get even more stark. Imagine a political view held by only 1% of the population. That's pretty fringe, right (for reference, 33% of Americans believe that alien UFOs have visited Earth)? But it's also one in a hundred -- in America, that translates to well over three million people. That's a lot! (We explored this dynamic previously in my "how to tokenize with proportions" post.) One thing I often think about is how modernity and modern technology, in conjunction with our decidedly pre-modern lizard-brains, don't always mesh well. We know, for example, that fat tastes delicious because in the primordial environment it was rare and vital, and thus highly desirable to consume -- unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a contemporary context where calories and fat are plentiful and we can easily over-saturate ourselves. I suspect there's something similar going on with political opinions. One of the oft-proclaimed virtues of the internet is it allows you to find communities of like-minded persons no matter how obscure or random the interest. Obsessed with underwater basketweaving? You can find dozens of people who share that passion with minimal effort! What does it mean when the same is true for political opinions? I suspect our brains have a rough heuristic at the ready that correlates how difficult it is to find holders of a given opinion with how uncommon it is in society. If one struggles to come across individuals who believe ideology X, one assumes that X is rarely believed in a given society. If one comes across X-believers without too much trouble, one infers that X is a common ideology. If 1% of Americans hold a particular political stance, that may be three million people -- but (at least until recently) they're not going to be easy to find via the normal modes of political engagement. If you just read newspaper columns, chatted with your neighbors, watched TV pundits, and so forth, you'd probably come across it rarely, if ever. If one really wanted to find a sizable chunk of Americans who believe this 1% view, one would have to expend considerably more effort. Now to be clear: what I'm describing is only a heuristic, which means it's imperfect -- there are all sorts of reasons why, for example, a rare opinion might nonetheless be easy to spot "in the wild" (it's favored among extroverts or celebrities, e.g.) or a common one might be rarely seen (it's embarrassing). But it has some logic as a rough-and-ready way of telling us which views are common in our social circle and which aren't. It's not quite the same as the availability heuristic, but it is similar. Call it the search heuristic. Something easy to find upon commencing a search for it is common; something hard to find even when searching for it is rare. The problem is that if modern technology makes pretty much any opinion with even a speck of public salience "easy to find", that hijacks our heuristic circuitry to make all of these opinions register in our minds as "commonplace". What is the result of that? One potentially positive result is that it might offset some mechanisms that serve to silence dissident views via the so-called "spiral of silence" -- they learn that they're not alone, and so they're more willing to air their dissident views knowing that there are peers who share their perspective. But there are also some potential upshots that I'm more ambivalent about. One thing that we might experience is the erosion of perceived consensus -- a sense of widespread opinion balkanization and a corresponding vertiginous inability to tell when there is an opinion that carries significant social agreement. There's a push/pull on this -- sometimes, a feeling of "consensus" is dependent on wrongly not perceiving the existence of dissent, and so the elevation of dissident voices corrects a widespread social misperception. But, assuming "consensus" does not require universal agreement, sometimes, a feeling of dissensus is falsely inspired by the presence of high-profile but ultimately negligible dissenters. To the extent that modern technology makes very small ideological minorities loom larger, we might believe ourselves to be far more disunited than we actually are. And if the search heuristic causes a wide range of opinions (many mutually incompatible with one another) to register as "common", we may have trouble grasping onto distinctions between actually common versus fringe outlooks. In a similar vein, it is at least plausible that in a democracy there is a prima facie obligation to consider and give airing to certain viewpoints simply by virtue of the fact that they're common. This wouldn't necessarily mean that uncommon views can be automatically rejected, only that they must "earn" their space on the democratic agenda by means other than "because many people believe it". If this is so, then the perception that more views are "common" mean that more views can claim access to this prima facie obligation of consideration. Perhaps that doesn't strike you as a bad thing -- but consider it in the case of, say, openly avowed racism or extremism -- views which might objectively be as rare as ever, but perhaps feel more common than they've been in recent memory. There are also risks latent even for the holders of the dissident opinions themselves, for they as much as anyone might be mislead into thinking their views are more widely shared than they are. If someone holds a view they know is rare but wish was widely shared, they must endeavor to persuade others to adopt it. If they then, say, run for office on its platform whose tenets are held by only 10% of the population, if (or when) they lose they probably won't be happy but they at least probably won't be confused. Unpopular opinions don't win elections. But things are different if the search heuristic misfires and makes the dissident believe they are actually expressing a very common view. If they nonetheless persistently lose in the democratic arena, they might suspect bias, corruption, institutional barriers, or other forms of foul play are obstructing them. To be clear: there are many cases where such things are at work; I'm not saying that everyone who believes their views are not carrying the democratic day because of various social biases is simply misleading themselves. But sometimes a democratic spade really is just a spade; and there is at least the potential for this sort of self-deception to accelerate -- the result being greater mistrust and resentment of social institutions. It's worth noting that there isn't an "objective" way of declaring whether a view is "rare" or not. Much of it already lies in framing: "held by 1% of the population" sounds uncommon, "held by three million Americans" sounds reasonably common. So we can't quite say that, even if the search heuristic is misfiring, it is objectively causing us to label "uncommon opinions" as "common". But I do suspect that our wider net of appraisals around how we relate to an opinion based on its perceived "commonality" are tied to the same set of assumptions under which the search heuristic should function at least roughly well -- meaning that if we no longer exist in that social world, the whole edifice comes under serious strain (if it doesn't collapse outright). These are preliminary thoughts; they are not wholly hashed out in my mind yet, and I'm curious to hear others' views. Here's the tl;dr

The search heuristic tells us that, roughly speaking, a view that is hard to find upon searching for it is rare, and a view that is easy to find upon searching for it is commonplace.

The social media revolution has drastically reduced the search costs required to find large absolute numbers of persons who hold any particular view, even when they are actually relatively uncommon.

Together, (1) & (2) cause us to mentally code many viewpoints which we'd perceive as uncommon as quite common (since we are able to find examples of them with little effort).

The effects of this are unclear, but may include (a) increased willingness to air dissident views; (b) decreased sense of social consensus; (c) decreased ability to distinguish relatively common versus uncommon views; (d) decreased trust that formal mechanisms for measuring public opinion reliably track actual public viewpoints (even when they are in fact doing so reasonably well).

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2UIHAaO

[anundine]

Greater Unified Wheel of Stars Theory

I've been working my way through the Wheel of Time, and I can't help but notice some....overlap. This has prompted the creation of my Greater Unified Wheel of Stars Theory, wherein the world of Wheel of Time is in fact Tython and the White Tower is the precursor to the Temple. Evidence is as follows:

Aes Sedai are the precursors of the Jedi.

In legends, the very oldest version of the Jedi are called Je'daii. Aes Sedai -> Sedai -> Je'daii -> Jedi.

The Je'daii originated on the planet Tython. Thus, if Je'daii were previously Sedai, then it follows that the world they were from is the same world that the events of the books took place on, separated by many thousands of years.

The structure and functions of the White Tower and the Coruscant Temple are startlingly similar.

Both take in applicants when young, and there is a cut-off date for being considered "too old."

Note: in Legends, this cut-off for the Temple is at 13; as of the Clone Wars and other new material, it is unclear if that is still canon. Within the confines of this particular theory, I am operating under the assumption that there is a cut-off point, but it is much later that 13, and that with the advent of the Clone Wars specifically, the cut-off was pushed back even further.

Both focus on emotional control-- Sedai are expected to maintain a blank expression at all times, no matter what is going on; by the time of the Temple, this has evolved into maintaining internal equilibrium at all times as well.

The flame and the void is the precursor mantra to releasing one's emotions into the Force.

It is generally accepted that the loyalty of members of both groups is to be solely to the Tower or the Temple, respectively, regardless of where or to whom they were born. You are a Sedai or Jedi first and a member of your birth government a distant second, if you maintain that tie at all.

Both orders create and maintain mental bonds with people-- Sedai with their Warders, and Jedi with their Padawans, for many of the same reasons. The former evolving into the latter is not an unreasonable stretch.

Sedai and Jedi serve similar functions within their respective societies. Both orders are heavily trained as diplomats and political advisors, and the primary purpose of many of their members is to act as peace keepers and councilors. However, this is not the sole focus of either order, and both orders are equally notable for their historians and wandering do-gooders.

Both orders are also viewed with similar levels of suspicion by wider society, much of that stemming from their general inscrutability and from the fact that the most visible of them participate in politics.

The One Power=The Force

Both are universal magic that exists in all things and causes things to happen. "It is as the Force wills it" and "The wheel winds as the wheel wills" are both commonly used phrases in their respective times.

Functionally, there is little difference between being ta'veren and being strong with or beloved of the Force.

Both of these are in-universe acknowledgements of Main Character Syndrome.

The Force is split into the Dark Side and the Light Side. Use of the Dark Side drives the user mad and turns them into power-hungry, destructive forces of evil. However, in the distant past, in Legends, there are Force users who use the Dark Side without loosing their shit, as evidenced by the Je'daii Order, who valued balance, before there was a civil war and it all went to hell. The One Power is split into Saidar and Saidin. Use of Saidin drives the user mad and turns them into power-hungry, destructive forces of evil. However, in the distant past, there were Saidin users who didn't go nuts, before the Dark One cursed Saidin with the taint and it all went to hell.

Basically every single male Jedi has made terrible, terrible life choices, a fair number of which could be explained by being driven mad by the Force. Obi-wan's and Luke's respective mental shutdowns and time as depressed hermits? A manifestation of the taint. Mace deciding to attack the Chancellor in the Senate, before figuring out how to deal with the inevitable political fallout of killing the head of the government? Taint clouding his mind. Anakin's...everything? Taint.

Since the Force is tainted, using it is corrosive-- the more you use it, the more fucked up you get, and faster. That's why the Jedi have that rule about no excessive use of the Force. It's not because they're boring monks with weird ideas about laziness, it's because if you use the power to float pears across the room it eats away at your mind and it's just not worth it.

At least one Sedai uses a mind trick on screen, to make a woman more susceptible to obeying her wishes.

Sedai have been shown to have "swords of light", including Moiraine Sedai manifesting two blades from her staff. These swords are like fire, but not affected by wind or movement, instead remaining perfectly straight, and are created through the use of the One Power.

This dovetails neatly into the idea that only a Jedi can wield a lightsaber; it's not that only Force users have the requisite reflexes, it's that there's no power source in lightsabers-- the beam is pure Force, and if you don't have the Force, you can't turn it on.

Kyber focuses and amplifies 'saber beams, but does not create them, much like a sangreal focuses and amplifies channeling, but does not produce power on its own.

The Wheel of Time is literally about history rhyming with itself, endlessly, particularly with regards to great big showdowns of good vs. evil with deeply powerful chosen ones in the center of it all.

Anakin is the Dragon (very powerful magic user, hero of a great war at the end of an age, driven mad by the exact same power, deeply involved in facilitating the fall of said age, strongly affected by Main Character Syndrome).

Luke is the Dragon Reborn (very powerful magic user, deeply affected by the shadow of the last guy, much of his story is fixing the things the last guy broke, just as much if not more of a Main Character, farm boy origins.)

In conclusion, both of these universes are actually the same universe, many turns of the wheel later. All the similarities between the two story cycles is actually because of big mythic universal truth reasons, and not because both authors probably drank too much Joseph Campbell juice. Thank you for coming to this lecture, and don't forget we have a quiz on Monday.

[comtesse-d-edessa]

not all porn is about degrading women it’s not all sex trafficking and if a woman or man or anyone wants to sell his or her or their body then it’s their choice you can have sex with anybody and it can be pleasant or a bad experience but just because there’s a camera it’s bad? if you actually looked at porn sites especially the ones about bdsm and intense scenes they speak to the actors at the end to ask how their experience was and they all had a positive one sex sells and people are consumers

Okay this is a lot and there’s only one punctuation mark so I’m gonna answer each point separately for my own clarity. Also included is your second, shorter ask.

1) “not all porn is about degrading women” I mean I guess there is gay porn. But seriously, the attitude surrounding porn speaks volumes otherwise. The way porn videos are described, the fact that domenstic violence and abuse are popular categories, the way pornographers speak about their performers off-set—and the biggest thing is that porn is, indeed, inherently degrading. It cannot not be degrading because the act itself degrades women (and men).

Porn reduces women to sex objects. (It also reduces men to sex objects. Basically everything I am saying in this post could pretty much go for men, too, but I feel as though the people who I tend to ‘look up to’ in terms of knowing their stuff about the porn community tend to have different attitudes towards male porn actors than female. I have seen, although I have not had the time to really look into it, the fact that oftentimes female porn actresses suffer abuses at the hands of their costars. I haven’t really formed my own opinion about that, and the specifically female experience of porn involvement is kind of gender specific, but like, I don’t think only male porn is any more acceptable than male-female or female-female.)

as I said, it makes women a means to an end. I believe that is always degrading, no matter what is happening. And because you say 'not always’, i think we can agree that at least the majority of porn is degrading to women. But later down in the paragraph you excuse porn by saying that it is a choice of the woman to act in porn [thus to be degraded]. But I think that the degradation of the act is not cancelled out by the fact that it is performed for money, and you think that a degrading act is acceptable if it is for money. I’m not making a value judgement on that, I’m just saying what I think the difference in our point of view is.

Also, how much 'degradation of women’ would there have to be in porn (as an industry, if you believe that there are 'non degrading’ pornos) for you to not want to support it anymore?

2) “porn is not all sex trafficking” First I have been remiss in not indentifying what sex trafficking is. I am someone who lives in one of the sex trafficking capitols of the US, and during my HS years a big sex trafficking development (I don’t want to be too specific) occurred which lead to all of the HS students in my area being given a lot of training and education on sex trafficking and the warning signs, etc. Sex trafficking is not being pulled off the street into a van and never seen again except in pornos. Like, I’m not saying that sex trafficking victims are not kidnapped because some are. But the majority are extensively groomed into it so that they 'consent’ to it. Some do it because they have been manipulated by their pimps, who might also be their 'boyfriends’. Some do it because when they showed up for a 'photoshoot’ they were raped on camera, and they are being threatened with the release of their 'sex tape’ and told they might as well become a pornstar anyway. Some do it because they or their families are being threatened. I just want to clear up that there is a ton of different ways women in the sex industry are trafficked, and that it is not as though all of these women were just pulled off the sidewalk and into porn. There are plenty of ways much more subtle than that to traffick a woman into sex work, and they are not readily apparent—or possible to identify at all, really—to the porn viewer. Anyway, just wanted to clear up. Onto my next point: can you guarantee that you have never seen a trafficked woman in your porn? If not, what is the acceptable number of trafficked women you would accept in your porn? What amount of trafficked woman would induce you to give up porn?

(Wow, only on the second statement. This is gonna be a super long post I guess. Sorry to all scrolling.)

3) “and if a woman or man or anyone wants to sell their body, then it’s their choice”I have mentioned that a lot of the time, it is not. And that isn’t something to take lightly, but I will not focus on it for too long since you do not appear to think sex trafficking is a big problem in the porn industry/a reason to not support the porn industry. But also, just because someone is choosing to perform an inherently degrading act (acting in porn) that doesn’t mean that the act it’s absolved of its degradation.

4) “you can have sex with anybody and it can be a pleasant or bad experience but just because there’s a camera it’s bad?”Porn is not two people having sex and a camera is there. Porn is two people who generally would not choose to have sex with one another recreationally, having performing porn (oftener and oftener, violent, humiliating, and 'hardcore’ sex acts being involved) specifically for pay.

Porn is not real sex. It’s showbiz. Granted, this is showbiz that can leave its performers diseased, injured, and with psychological trauma. The gruesome side of porn is all too real, but comparing it to real sex would be like comparing High School Musical to a real world high school experience. It is a visual product designed to create a reaction, not to simulate real life. And it is undeniable that over the years as more and more people demand and crave more and more hardcore porn, porn has only gotten farther and farther away from anything close to a depiction of 'real sex’. I only wish someone would tell that to the men who feel entitled to try to enact these gross fantasies out with their significant others, and for the women who feel as though they could never measure up to something that is literally not reality.

But you might want to retort with 'homemade’ porn, the conceit of which is a real-life couple engaging in recorded sexual activity either for themselves only or for a wider audience. Being a big fun-sucker, I don’t like those either. It is not uncommon for those videos which were recorded with the intention of never being made public to be made public, in acts of 'revenge porn’, and this would not be easy to tell to the porn viewer. And also, it still ties into the fact that by recording sexual acts to use for sexual gratification, the body is still made into a sex object, which I have said I think is inherently degrading. I don’t think people’s bodies should be used as objects, even if they are doing it to themselves. See my above point about consent not negating the problems with an action.

5) “if you actually looked at porn sites, especially the ones about bdsm and intense scenes, they speak to the actors at the end to ask how their experience was and they all had a positive one”

I am aware that this happens.

And yeah. They’re performers. The people asking this are the people who pay them. I’m sure for literally any organization, you could find a group of the people who rely on them for money and get them to say whatever nice things the organization wants about them. Surely you can see why every porn actor is under extreme pressure to agree that they had a good time with whatever happened during filming, not even mentioning the women who are sex trafficked (I know you think it is “not all” which I’m sure is technically correct, but you must agree then that they do exist) who have to agree that they had a good experience for reasons I’m sure you understand.

And every time, the experience is positive? Even when you yourself say, there are at least SOME trafficked women doing at least SOME degrading porn, every experience is positive?

All I’m saying is that this is an incredibly bad quality-control check. Even from the (false) assumption that porn itself is not bad, and only abuse or injury on-set are what can make an individual porno bad, then this is an obviously totally ineffective actual strategy for keeping the “bad” parts out of porn. This is just the flimsiest of excuses to allow people to justify the consumption of increasingly violent porn. And people grab onto that desperately to try to ease their consciences, even though I cannot honestly believe most people think that that’s actually an accurate way of telling whether or not a porn actor had a positive experience.

(Take this porn performer’s experience, for example. https://jezebel.com/porn-actress-nikki-benz-sues-mindgeek-brazzers-co-sta-1825143669 )

6) “sex sells and people are consumers”

You’re not wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. Just because people will consume something doesn’t mean that it should be consumed. I hate to be the 'slavery allegory’ person, but people really did used to buy slaves. (I mean, they still do in some parts of the world.) but “slaves sell and people are consumers”, while being an antebellum USA reality as much as your statement is a reality of 2019, does not actually mean either of the statements are making a value judgement. Just because the world is one way really, really doesn’t mean that that is at all okay. People kind of suck. The world kind of sucks. Morals are not decided by popular opinion.

Also, sex does not sell. What porn is selling is not sex. What porn is selling is, again, the devaluation and degradation of the human person. And yes, people consume that. And increasingly, it is normalized in society so that people feel othered for not doing it, so that girlfriends are mocked for not liking it, and it is laughed off as just a thing that men and women do. So more and more people consume that degradation.

On your next ask—

7) “How about porn categories that don’t degrade anybody?” See #1. It is not the acts performed in porn (though they are increasingly humiliating and extreme) which make it degrading so much as the fact that porn itself is degrading. To everybody.

8) “when it’s just regular couples having sex, is that wrong too?” Yes. See last paragraph of #4.

Here are the sources you asked for:How porn negatively affects the brain and sexual/romantic relationships:https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1988.tb00027.x^^ “After consumption of pornography, subjects reported less satisfaction with their intimate partners—specifically, with these partners’ affection, physical appearance, sexual curiosity, and sexual performance proper. In addition, subjects assigned increased importance to sex without emotional involvement.” The abstract.

https://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/ps/access/nnbckv.pdf^^ porn consumption made people place less emphasis on sex with emotional connection, less expectation of fidelity to a partner/from a partner and more accepting of affairs, no longer desire marriage or children, and thought more highly of male-dominated relationships. It also made people (men and women both) ascribe shorter prison sentences to rapists and to be less affected/moved by rape.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-affects-sexual-tastes/https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-consuming-porn-is-an-escalating-behavior/https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-affects-the-brain-like-a-drug/^^ porn is addictive and porn consumption becomes more 'hardcore’ and extreme over time.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-damages-consumers-sex-lives/#c11^^ porn is making people bad at 'real life’ sex (again, porn is not sex.)

https://humantraffickingsearch.org/the-connection-between-sex-trafficking-and-pornography/^^ the link between human trafficking and pornography, although there are many more articles which will discuss this, I will just link this relatively short one and the source for THAT one, http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/FarleyRentinganOrgan11-06.pdf^^ “In every country, almost half of the respondents said that they were forced to make pornography while enslaved in sex trafficking.”