#actual story won't be posted probably for a few weeks or maybe a month

[illicitlimerence-writes]

baby bear | c. leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader word count: 1.7k words request: nope. warnings: fluff, a baby, this is really badly written bc i haven’t written an actual story in monthsssss. this was based on this tiktok i saw a few weeks ago, plsss watch it before reading if you want the context, otherwise it won't make much sense. tell me this isn't the most charles energy you've ever seen. a/n: look who remembered her tumblr password. i haven't been on here for so long... what's new? what are the new trends? how are we liking the new f1 season? how are you? perhaps posting once every three months will be my personality from now on.

my masterlist 

“look what i bought.” 

those words were not unusual to hear, especially coming from charles, especially since you found out you were pregnant. you looked up from the book you were reading, raising your eyebrows at the sight of charles’ bright eyes and him trying to bite back a grin.

“so… i was wondering around, and stumbled upon the baby store,” he started, you nodded, knowing he obviously went there on purpose, “and found the cutest, most perfect little suit for the baby,” 

“okay…” you started, placing a bookmark and closing the book as you sat up, extending your arm, asking him to get closer. “is it cute?” 

“the cutest.” he said, placing the bag on the bed and taking out the suit.

“aw, charles,” your heart immediately melted at the sight of a brown bear suit, with a small hoodie and bear ears. “it looks cozy, and big…” you noticed. 

“yeah, she’s gonna look perfect in it.” he said, leaning forward to kiss your lips. after that, he walked to the crib you’d set up in your room, to be able to reach the baby faster in the first few months of her life. in there, you’d set up the bag you would bring to the hospital when she was ready to join the world.

“what are you doing?” you said, getting up and walking to him, you wrapped an arm around him, placing your head on his shoulder.

“i want her to wear this when she comes home,” he explained, and you could tell just by the way he blurted that out a little too fast, that he meant it, and that he’d probably already imagined the sight of your beautiful new baby in his arms. you wanted to tell him that this maybe was a bit too big for her, but you didn’t want to break his bubble.

“okay, but we have to wash this first, alright?” you smiled, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek while he nodded, knowing you were right.

“my little bella bear.” he sighed as he caressed the soft suit.

-

five months later, your little baby girl, isabella, had already outgrown her original suit, your heart broke a little, knowing how much charles loved seeing her in it.

he was currently out of the country, but already on his way back home after a few days on the other side of the world. you were rocking your little girl to sleep when you heard your phone ring. you grabbed it and smiled as you saw charles’ face fill your screen. 

“hey,” you whispered, tilting your phone down so he could see the baby.

“hi, my baby,” he said, making you smile. “why isn’t she wearing the suit?” he asked.

“charles, she wore it yesterday,” you chuckled, remembering the way he almost screamed in delight as he saw her in it the day before. 

“yeah, and?” 

“she can’t wear it every day,” you laughed softly, not wanting to disturb her. “i’ll wash it tonight.”

“okay, i can’t wait to be back home. i want to hold you both,” 

“what time do you get here?” you smiled, having missed him after being away for almost a week. luckily, the next three races were close to home.

“i’m not sure. i’ll check and let you know. but don’t worry, lorenzo will pick me up. can i ask you a favor, though?”

“of course.”

“can you dress her in the bear suit?” he almost pleaded, pouting. 

“fine,” you laughed, “you’ll see your little bear tomorrow.”

-

charles would not, in fact, be seeing his little bear. because one cruel thing about having a baby is how quick they grow. it was bizarre, since just two days ago it still fit her perfectly, but now her legs were a little too long to fit comfortably, her head a little too big to place the hood on it.

you swore under your breath, knowing how heartbroken charles would be once he found out the news. you dressed bella in a different outfit, some white overalls that had little bears embroidered on it with a brown shirt underneath. it was the best you could do. 

but then you received a text from charles.

‘can't wait to see you and bella bear.’ followed by a white heart and a bear emoji. 

“oh, my god,” you mumbled, grabbing bella, your handbag and car keys.

you drove to the store you knew charles had bought the original bear suit from, with bella on your arm, since you didn’t have time to grab her stroller or anything, you were thinking out loud, talking to bella as you walked through the store and looked for the suit.

“the things we do for daddy, he just loves seeing you in that suit,” you said, kissing her temple as you walked through the store. “there it is.” you walked there, looking for the right size. “you know what? let’s get a few more.” you said, grabbing enough suits to hopefully fit her until at least her first birthday. bella giggled, curling her fists on the fabric of the suit. “you love the bear suit, too, don’t you?” you asked her, kissing her cheek. “my bella bear,” you often found yourself repeating the nickname charles gave her from that very first day a few weeks before she was born. 

you quickly drove home and changed her into the suit, and waited for charles to arrive.

“i’m home!” he said, about twenty minutes after you got home. 

“hey,” you walked to him, feeling his hands on your waist as he lifted you up, “i missed you.” you said as you buried your face in his neck.

“i missed you too, my love. i’m so happy i don’t have to travel too far away now.”

“i know. and maybe bella and i can join you?” you asked, having contemplated that idea while charles was gone. 

“you think she’s ready? are you?” you shrugged.

“we won’t know unless we try.” 

“okay, then… we’ll try.” he placed a kiss to your lips, one that took your breath away like it was the very first one. “where is she?” 

“napping,” you answered, slipping your fingers between his and leading him to bella’s room. she’d already upgraded from the crib in your shared room to her own. 

“my little bella bear, i missed you so much,” he said, kneeling in front of the crib and running his knuckle softly against her chubby cheek. “you look so pretty in your bear suit.” 

-

and as months passed, charles was still unaware of the change of suits. every two or three months you’d change into the next size, taking advantage of the weather changing -telling charles that it was too warm for bella to wear it as often-, and the times he had to leave home. you would rummage through the drawers in bella’s room, where you kept all the suits she had grown out of. 

it sometimes came with little slip-ups, like the time you forgot about one small rip in the original suit that you’d sewn together. as a force of habit, charles’ hand reached for that spot, just to make sure it was still there, that it wasn’t growing any bigger. but it wasn’t there. 

“huh,” he hummed out loud, catching your attention.

“what?” you asked, looking up from the puzzle you were piecing together. 

“nothing, it’s just… the rip, it feels weird.” he said, running his finger up and down the place where the rip was supposed to be. 

“oh, maybe it got messed up in the wash,” you said the first thing that came to your mind. 

“maybe,”

“hey, can you help me find this piece?” you asked, changing the subject quickly to get it out of his head. 

in the blink of an eye, her first birthday was approaching, and so did the choice to pick a theme for her birthday party.

“she’s been really into flowers lately,” you told charles one morning, as you both helped bella stand up and encouraged her to walk from parent to parent. 

“hmm… flowers and rainbows?” he said, holding bella up as she steadied herself. “you like that bella bear?” he asked her. you reached to your side holding a flower plushie you’d bought her a few days ago.

“flowers, bella?” you held it in front of you, but bella turned around, playing with charles instead. “that’s a no, i guess,” you chuckled.

“i know…” charles said, setting bella down and walking to her bed. he grabbed her teddy bear, “bears?”

“bear!” you both turned your heads at the same time, staring at bella. 

“oh my god, did she-”

“i think she did, come here,” you said, grabbing the teddy from him, “bear?”

“bear!” she repeated, and you held her in your arms as charles sat next to you.

“your first word, baby…” he murmured, and you looked up at him, heart melting at the sight of his eyes shining bright at your daughter. 

“what about a bear party?” you suggested.

“i was thinking the same thing. i’ll go to the store tomorrow to buy her a new suit, now we can add this one to the collection,” he said, putting on the little hoodie. 

“what?” you asked, completely taken aback by his comment.

“yeah, the drawer filled with the suits,” he pointed at it.

“you knew?” 

“what? that you’d been secretly switching the suits, ripping and sewing it back together so that i wouldn’t notice? yeah,” he said.

“then why- how-”

“that first suit… you really thought i wouldn’t find it weird how the rip was there, then it wasn’t, and then it magically appeared again?” 

“you just loved that suit so much, and i didn’t want to break your heart once she started to grow them out, so i got a bunch and kept them there.”

“i know. i’ve seen them,”

“oh my god,” you groaned, leaning against him as he laughed.

“i love you. it was so hard to keep this to myself.”

“how do you think i felt?” you laughed, looking down at bella. “why didn’t you tell me anything, missy?” you tickled her belly, smiling at her loud giggles. 

“come on, bella bear, we have to go find a new suit for your birthday party.”

BYE this is really bad, i'm sorry.

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[bellaxgiornata]

Do you have any tips for fast and efficient writing? I’m always impressed with how quickly and consistently you seem to churn out good quality chapters. Occasionally, I get “in the zone” and manage to really stay on top of my updates, but other times, it feels like pulling teeth. I worry that I sometimes sacrifice quality just to be able to put out an update. I want to stay consist for my readers, but that requires about 4000 to 5000 words a week, which is tough for me on top of a full time job! Any suggestions?

Oh, this is a good question! And thank you, I'm glad to hear you think my stories are consistent and of good quality! I will say that what works for me probably isn't always going to work for others, and I'm also aware that I'm in a unique position of being a stay at home mom. So when kids nap, I get free time to write. When my toddler starts preschool next week and the baby naps, if I've finished my adulting chores for the day, I get to write. Usually y'all don't have those opportunities at work--especially not daily. I'll also sometimes write in the evening before bed if I'm really feeling it (though while pregnant I had been too tired to do that for months). Honestly a lot of it depends on how much time you are able to write, and for me, I do actually spend quite a few hours a week writing and editing. Probably a lot more than people realize...

I'll put the rest of my response below the cut though because I know this is going to be long!

The first thing I did that really helped me keep churning out updates was to stop requiring myself to reach a minimum word count for them. I don't write with the pressure of needing to reach a specific amount per chapter, rather I focus on what needs to happen in an update. If the draft seemed a bit short, I'd come back later and edit in more detail or dialogue or another scene or something that fit and it usually filled things a little more without seeming unnecessary. Removing that pressure of reaching a specific word count really helps I think. And 4,000-5,000 words a week with a full time job is honestly a lot to plan out, write, and then edit consistently!

Secondly, I have multiple stories to work on. Now I definitely don't recommend this because then you'll get overwhelmed, but I do often hit a block in a fic sometimes and instead of just writing something I don't like and posting it or completely stepping away and not writing, I write something else. It keeps me in the habit of doing it so that I don't just suddenly stop. But obviously, I can't consistently update the same fics over and over, I tend to jump around. I think what might be better is maybe taking a step away and working on a one shot or something if you're struggling with a scene or a chapter. For me, sometimes what I need to write in a story is not what I'm feeling at the moment--angst, fluff, smut, whatever--and so I go write something I am feeling instead. Usually that helps unblock what's in my head, especially if I want to write smut for example, but the characters in the story I'm writing cannot realistically have me throw that in at that point.

Lastly, I think taking the pressure off of yourself to update on a schedule might be helpful. I know, it's hard to not update regularly and you might feel like you're disappointing readers, but we aren't getting paid for this. If you start pressuring yourself, you're going to burn yourself out and fanfic won't be fun anymore. It'll feel like work. And who wants to spend their free time working with no pay? So if you can get a nice long chapter up every week for a bit, but then suddenly you're struggling and it takes a few weeks for an update? That's okay. Your readers will still be here. And new ones will always appear if some have moved on.

Honestly I think as writers we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to consistently post, but it's not realistic. Like I said, I'm in a unique position of often finding moments to write because of what I do for work. That's not the norm for everyone. I struggle to update fics sometimes myself, which is why you might see some stories go months without an update, but I just update other things in the meantime. But if I only had one story, you'd definitely see me having weeks where nothing comes out because the words for that just aren't coming or they're not coming out right.

Hopefully some of this helped at all! But really, I think removing the pressure of writing is the biggest issue to tackle. Whether its your posting schedule or your word count, the pressure really gets to you. Especially if you're reaching the day you might usually post and you don't have something you feel is ready, then maybe you start to stress or panic and are rushing to get something done. That's just not fun though! Fanfic should be fun!

[jessicas-pi]

DIRECTOR'S CUT ON COMMIT TO THE BIT but only like the first two chapters i am so far behind 😭

girl I wish I had been as productive as you think i've been 😭 there's only two chapters so far-

(But, hey, good news! Chapter three is verging ever closer to probably being done! And it's only taken me about... eight months... hahaha *dies on the inside*)

Anyway, i'll do what I did with the other ask and just go through it and talk about stuff!

Okay, so this fic was originally called "The Con" because it involved winning a lot more bets via subterfuge and holding hands. That changed and so I renamed it!

Oh yeah! And so, this fic was partly inspired by the song Summer Nights from Grease, where the guys and girls are enthusiastically listening to completely different stories of the same event. I flipped it around so they had completely different reactions to the same story and Sabine and Ezra were very UNenthusiastic and that was what the scenes with their friends were based on!

Aylan (the vostress kid) definitely heard some obitine stories from his dad and finds the parallels very amusing.

I know i've said it a few times before, but it always delights me to mention that the three Togruta sisters (Chisica, Am-lee, and Khenna) are based on me and my sisters.

OHHH fun fact! Originally the conversation where they split up the profits from the bet and the conversation where Sabine brought up fake-dating were two different conversations! The first one was as-is in the fic, but the other one happened like a week later when Sabine was hanging out in a tree coral with some of the girls and watching Ezra doing lightsaber forms and maybe drawing him shirtless a little bit and they hype her up to "ask him out again" and she goes over and interrupts him and they end up having the fake-dating idea conversation while he's not wearing a shirt and she's blatantly checking him out (and at one point actually half-reaches-out to touch his abs before she catches herself) and he's just "????" the whole time. It was funny, but I decided it was too early in the (fake) relationship for her to be so obvious about it, and I needed Fenn Rau to overhear the conversation and that was easier if they were on the Ghost, so I combined the scenes.

Oh also! Originally, both Vinn AND Tarik were gonna get kicked out of the friend group for being nasty but then I decided to make Tarik less nasty and give him a redemption arc.

ok, reading on, la de da...

The post-stargazing scene! So, I had to keep dialing things back because my shippy writer brain was moving their relationship ahead WAY faster than it was supposed to go. For example, in this scene, originally, they were going to share Sabine's bunk and definitely not cuddle or anything, it won't be weird at all, but again--just too soon. I made up for it with excessive cuddles in the end of the chapter & in chapter 2.

KATKA CAMEO!! Ok so for those who don't know---katka is an OC from my Teenage Rebellion AU. She's Gar Saxon's niece but she's utter sweetness (with a slight twist of crazy) and totally on board to stick it to the Empire. In the TRAU, she also has a massive raging crush on Ezra (albeit an Inquisitor iteration of him), so when I needed a random character to be envious of Sabine here, I figured I'd reuse her lol.

Oh yeah! Another condensed scene! Where she tells him about the Mandalorian ways of saying "I love you" and where she asks him to fake marry her used to be two different scenes! Like with the other one, I added the second one to the first. I went through a few versions of the fake-marriage-proposal, including one where Aylan came along with Ezra to Mandalore and was the one to suggest they tie the knot, apparently unaware it's all fake (but actually 100% aware it's all fake because his psychometry revealed it)

not to brag or anything but "Ezra did not regret fake-marrying into money" is one of my favorite lines i've ever written.

(btw, I still crack up when I remember that in your comment on chapter 1, you called Ezra a repressed victorian maiden for panicking over being able to see sabine's arms and legs. and I think everyone should know that You Are Right, Ezra Is A Repressed Victorian Maiden.)

OK ON TO CHAPTER 2!

i had so much fun with this chapter because they're both full to bursting with love for each other and neither of them will admit it until the last possible moment. I think that might actually be why Chapter 3 is taking so long--they're not hiding their feelings anymore so there's no more poetic internal monologues about how much they adore each other lol

Ah yeah on the topic of repressed feelings--the line "Kanan is fairly sure it’ll take at least five years and possibly a child for Sabine to admit that she’s actually in love with her husband" was supposed to actually be what happened. Sabine and Ezra were going to go on pretending the marriage was fake for years and finally one night when they were cuddled up, Sabine blurted out that she was in love with him and he was like "Yeah. I know." and she was like "wait what?? how did you know?? I was so subtle about my feelings!!" and he was like "Sabine, you kissed me good-night ten minutes ago. you're constantly calling me extremely romantic pet names in mando'a. we have two children and only one of them is adopted. your feelings are about as subtle as a paint bomb to the face." and she was just like "....oh." and then that was the end of the story! BUUUUT then I decided to do a love confession during the Lothal arc, and that led to the... surprise... at the end of chapter 2, which led to there needing to be a THIRD chapter!

OH HAHA OK MORE FUNNY STUFF. So the part with sabine's nightmare that leads to the "two besties chilling in a bathtub...?" scene was ALSO split up into two different events! I've been thinking about doing some edits of both chapters of CttB because I didn't really stop to edit either of them before posting (and a good chunk of chapter 2 was literally written the day before I posted it), which I mention because I was considering reverting the two scenes back to their original versions because the og tub scene was pretty funny. It's hard to describe in brief words, but basically... yeah it's too hard to describe, just take my word for it, it was pretty funny. (it involved Ezra singing along to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with a shampoo bottle for a microphone and Tristan playing a petty revenge prank that goes sideways.)

The cut between Ezra worrying about Sabine being upset about his feelings for her and thinking "what would she think if she knew??", and sabine's pov opening with "Sabine can't stop thinking about kissing his stupid face" never fails to make me snicker.

Oh hey I just got to the thrawn pov and that reminds me. at one point I was thinking about having a scene including Ezra and Thrawn's conversation aboard the Chimaera and thrawn REAAAALLLY pushes his buttons about Sabine, using the information that he figured out about their marriage. Actually, if I do that edit, I might write that scene.

Poor Hera--she keeps unintentionally being responsible for all of the sabezra relationship development lol.

OOH SOMETHING ELSE! So, originally, the love confession was WAY different. First of all, it wasn't in their room--it was in one of the caves. Sabine still went looking for Ezra, but she found him by following a Loth-wolf. And he actually confessed his feelings first! In this version, he was afraid he was going to die and impulsively blurted out that he loved her. Then he got nervous and started rambling a little and she shut him up with a kiss. But I changed it--I wanted her to be the one to take the leap and 'fess up, and if I set it in her room, I could have the funny Ketsu scene afterwards.

And then True Love's Kiss woke someone else up! (aka kanan got yoinked out of his comatose state by telepathic TMI)

oh yeah and to anyone wondering, that "another dawn breaks" line from the Kanera scene was ABSOLUTELY a reference to A New Dawn.

Oh and that Ketsu scene---that was actually a scene I saved and reused after cutting it from a different WIP of mine! There were two variations--the one I ended up using, and one where she accidentally interrupts the very first kiss and they're both like "OH COME ON!" because they've been waiting for this moment FOREVER and like ten seconds in, it gets interrupted, and Ezra decides that, darn it, he's been waiting for this for so long, he's not going to wait any longer! and he just pulls Sabine right back into the kiss and uses the Force to shut the door in Ketsu's face. I did this version so that I could include dialogue!

I'm just now realizing that I actually skipped over the entirety of Family Reunion and Farewell, I went straight from Jedi Night to Happy-Ever-After. But in my defense, plot-relevant episodes don't matter much when it comes to crack fix-it fics.

And... I think that's all my thoughts I have on this! Thank you for the ask!! :)

*roll end credits*

[upthewitchypunx]

You all seemed very confused about my last post, trust me, I'm just as confused about the casting a spell that binds someone's sexuality, but I guess that's where we are.

Look, I try to be a compassionate person, but sometimes when you reconnect with someone who was close to you over 20 years ago and invite them to live in your home it doesn't always go well.

I don't like talking about other people's stories, especially online, but this has affected our life and our home and brought chaos into our space. So, this is my story.

This old friend seems to have it together, paid rent early and had a job lined up before they got here. It seemed they were having a bit of trouble adjusting. After a few months it was clear they were going through a mental health thing for the 3rd time in 2 months and making wild accusations and doing hurtful things like smoking cigarettes and massive amounts of weed when they know they have a lung problem and abandoning cats with no food or water or not paying all their rent or giving 30 days notice before they leave town, you just have to cut ties.

This was the last straw. The one before was 2 weeks ago when I was accused of thinking they wanted to use magic to steal my partner and that somehow because I knew stuff they didn't I was making them feel bad about it and that they think I think they just want to steal all my ideas.

I was compassionate. I stayed calm. I said I was confused, asked if she was okay. A few days later she came down crying to apologize, said she wasn't okay. We talked. I told her about the Oregon Health Plan and how she could get some help. She seemed grateful and she did and had an appointment lined up.

Then last week we left for Astoria for a night and she was there at 4 pm to bring a package in but by 1pm the next day when we got home most of her things were gone except furniture that wouldn't fit in her car. We didn't really notice the things gone at first and thought maybe she had gone on a little trip because the cats were still here so we fed them and got them water, then messaged her after a few days. She claims she had a medical issue and called an ambulance. Then her family came here and towed her home. The time line doesn't make sense. Her family is a 12 hour drive away. How long was she in the hospital? How long did it take to pack her car? Why did she leave the cats? Why didn't she tell us on her own about the medical emergency?

I'm a pretty forgiving person, especially if the person is honest and isn't trying to take advantage of me. It often bites me in the ass, but at least I know I can sleep at night and treat people to my own ethical standard until I hit a point.

Last night we got more confusing messages declaring we actually wanted her cats all along and the whole binding her sexuality thing. We decided that it wasn't worth putting effort into this relationship, she's with her family now, we aren't getting blood from a stone, and that we had done as much as we could, calmly said we were confused and hurt and will find new homes for the cats, and blocked her.

I don't usually air someone's personal issues online, but this is someone you will never know, they probably won't see this, I don't really care if they do, and this is my blog and this is an incredibly frustrating, emotionally laborious, and financially unexpected experience we are going through right now and I just need to vent.

I've already contacted a cat rescue about the cute nice cat and the hissing mean cat that won't come out of the closet. Now I need to get rid of a brand new IKEA bed frame, a couch, a big clothing rack, 2 poorly constructed book shelves, a TV, a bunch of clothes and shoes, a record player that doesn't work, a giant stack of new age books, and a bunch of other random shit.

Oh, and cleanse the house of that nonsense before finding a new housemate, which a friend of a friend is interested in.

All of this while we are working to make the shop on the first floor browsable.

Please do not make disparaging comments about someone who is seriously going through something. I don't need to hear it. It won't be helpful or have a point. I'm not mad, just annoyed and wishing people had better communication.

[altraviolet]

Out of curiosity, do you have any tips for writing a long multichapter fic?? I have recently come up with a fic idea that I realize is going to take... multiple chapters. How do you stay motivated/what's your process for planning? Tysm for answering and if you've answered before sorry! Do you have a tag for your writing advice?

Hi!

I have a lot of tips :)

I do have a tag for writing advice. It's "writing advice." My writing advice is on my pinned post and I just double checked and made sure all the posts under "Writing Advice" are properly tagged. There's a post there that talks about my organization, which is something you've asked about, but you may find other helpful info there as well. If, after you read the answer to your ask and all the writing advice posts, you still have questions, feel free to hit up the ask box again :)

Cut for length!

>How do you stay motivated?

Sometimes I don't, honestly. People who read TEG while it was being updated know this xD There were a few times when 6 months passed between chapters, and then 3 chapters would be updated within a week. Since it's fanfic - it doesn't have due dates or deadlines and you're not getting paid - all that motivation really does need to come from inside. And if it's too draining? Then maybe fic doesn't get written that day.

I can honestly tell you that motivation on TEG waxed and waned quite a bit. It didn't help that right as I started posting it, the pandemic hit. Seeing as how we in the US are about to embark on a newly destructive four years, I say: if you don't have have the motivation, if you're really drained, don't push yourself. Fic is supposed to be fun. There were a lot of times TEG really wasn't fun, but I pushed through it because I felt a lot of pressure to do so.

That might not be helpful, lol. But I'm giving you permission to go easy on yourself.

But, let's say you don't want to go easy. Here are ways you can stay motivated:

the story won't get completed unless you complete it. so if you want to see it done, you HAVE to do it. logical and sound reasoning. there is no escape. get to work. call this the Shockwave Motivation Method, lol

excitement. oooh if you're excited about your fic, that will help a lot. getting to write out the scenes you're most looking forward to may help you get through the boring scenes [note: if you the writer find a scene boring, the reader probably will, too. consider changing or removing that scene]. this is probably the most healthy and enjoyable way to keep yourself motivated while writing fanfic

watch videos/read books about writing. or podcasts, or whatever kinda thing you like. absorbing information about writing will help you feel more knowledgeable and confident, even if just a teeny tiny bit

related to 3: go back and read/watch the canon that you adore. rekindle your love for it. remember why you want to write the fic that you're writing

spite? let's be brutally honest, here: if you read something popular that you think sucks, and you think you can do a way better job at it, prove it >D write that thing. show everyone that Premise X can actually be done well, and you're the one who's gonna do it well

schedules? some people do well with scheduling. actually this is what pro novelists do: they have word count goals they meet extremely regularly. if you write 500 words a day, you'll have ~2 novels a year done. make some goals and stick to them. self-imposed deadlines will stick as much as you can make them stick, which is why they don't work for everyone, but the people who can use this method WILL get results

There are tons of videos out there about any/all of these methods (especially scheduling/word goal/sprints related topics). I highly recommend you check some out. It comes down to this: you gotta write in order for the thing to be written. Anything you need to do to get that done is what needs to be done. Barring, like, you know. Illegal stuff. lol

Oftentimes for me, starting is the hardest part. If I can get my damn brain to start, then things will usually flow.

One thing I've found recently that helped jumpstart brainstorming (which isn't the exact same thing as Motivation To Do The Entire Writing Process, but bear with me) was changing the way I usually get my thoughts down. I always type at my desktop into a word processor. That way everything is digital: easy to move around, delete, duplicate, etc etc. For the new fic I'm working on, idk, I just felt like writing on paper with lots of different colored pens. It was soooo fun. I got these pens. Paper Mate Ink Joy Gel 0.7. I'm heckin' not sponsored but I LOVE these pens. They're super vibrant and actually dry pretty quick, and they're pretty. I love them so much I got another 10 pack of just the purple color xD [Note: the pens are thicker than normal gel/ballpoint pens. If you have arthritis or other hand issues, they might be too big to be comfy.] What I enjoyed was being able to write "Rodimus" in red pen and then writing a bunch of stuff about him, then drawing a line, writing "Soundwave" in blue pen and writing a bunch of stuff about him. Which sounds incredibly trite but the colors made me happy, and the full effect on the page lends itself to another layer of organization. I found I couldn't get myself to sit at the computer and write, so I wrote in a notebook. I'd show you some pics of how nice it all looks, but it's spoilers for the next fic.

tl;dr if the current literal method of writing isn't working, try another one. One of my good fic writing buddies goes for walks and takes her phone and records snippets and thoughts as they come to her. Maybe there's a method that will spark your motivation out there :)

Okay hopefully that helped with the motivation question. I didn't get super personal about it - I don't mind, and can, if asked - but let's keep moving.

>what's your process for planning?

Oh boy. Okay. My process will probably not work for you, because it is a MESS. I can describe it for you: maybe something in it will help.

First, please read this post: I've been curious what program(s) you write with and how you manage the organizational part of writing such long works.

That post explains how I organize medium and long length fics. It answers your question from the organizational aspect. There are screenshots xD Here's the tl;dr from the top of that post:

tl;dr I currently write in a free word processor called OpenOffice. I use Headings to generate an index and use that to navigate around a single document. I have multiple documents that each serve a different purpose- at the minimum, there's a doc for the story, Notes, and Graveyard.

And here is the broad summary from the bottom of that post:

To be really honest with you, I enjoy this system because it keeps things broadly organized, but within the docs there is a lot of messy stuff happening. I think of things, jot them down. Forget them. Rethink of them again later, jot them down. Now I have 2 scattered, slightly differently phrased similar ideas. If I think of things while at work, I scribble them madly onto scraps of paper and take them home, then try to fit them into the Notes somewhere. (Then I tape all the little papers into a notebook like a weirdo, lol, but I can't let them go!) I also have a ton of notes in my phone for when I think of stuff while in bed. I move it into Notes or write it into scenes as needed.

I write scenes out of order. I try to make timelines. I write more scenes: the timeline is no longer correct. I try to make a new timeline. I write more scenes. There are words everywhere and I just do my best :'D

The way I wrote TEG partially included keeping everything in it in my head. Obviously not every single sentence verbatim, but, when I was writing it, I knew exact phrases (the phrases are starting to fade, nearly a year later now). So if I was writing a future chapter and wanted to go back and double check what an earlier chapter said, I would do a search for the phrases I knew were in that scene. Towards the end of writing TEG my brain literally hurt. This isn't a method I advise, lol, but it works for me. I've tried to be more organized in the approach for my next fic, but it's already spiraling words over various docs and journals and I even have an ornate diagram going on in Photoshop right now.

You may already know the terms "planner vs pantser" or "gardener" or... whatever the other terms are. There's a spectrum of approaches to planning for writing, with "planner" on one end and "pantser" on the other. Planners do what you think they do: write intricate timelines, write chapters in the order they occur in, stick very strictly to the plan. Pantsers (from "fly by the seat of your pants") just start writing. Haphazardly. Pantsers tend to have to do a lot more editing at the end.

Most people fall within this spectrum somewhere, and many are towards one end for one story, then maybe flop on down to the other end for another story. There are a zillion videos about "planners vs pantsers," so that's another subject you could look into watching. If you know you're definitely on the planning side, you can search for videos by people who are also planners, and may have hints for you.

I'm definitely a pantser that tries really really hard to plan and stay organized. And, interestingly, as a fic goes on, it becomes way easier to plan for me. So maybe it would be more accurate to say: the brainstorming stage and writing the beginning and middle are more pantsy, and writing the end is more planny, for me. It could be any kinda thing for you :) once you know, you'll be able to work to your own strengths.

Hopefully you found something helpful in all the above. Check out the links, find some videos, relax, and dive in. If you have more specific questions, feel free to send 'em.

Happy writing! :)

[girltalkcollectives]

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

This entry is from an old relationship

Have you ever felt like you're the only one trying in a relationship? Like you're pouring your entire heart into something while they're just... there?

I'm sitting in my car right now, typing this on my phone because I can't be in my apartment. Because he's there, probably not even noticing that I left an hour ago. Probably hasn't even looked up from his game to realize I'm gone. And the worst part? I already know when I go back, I'll act like everything's fine.

It's such a specific type of heartbreak - loving someone who doesn't love you back but stays anyway. Because that's the thing: he stays. He's still here. Still says "goodnight." Still goes through the motions. But that's all they are - motions.

I keep a list in my notes app of all the signs I try to ignore:

How he takes hours to reply to my texts but I can see him active online.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" in months, just replies "you too" when I say it.

How he only wants to see me when it's convenient for him.

The way he talks about his future without mentioning me in it.

You know what the worst part is? I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry at myself. For staying. For making excuses. For thinking maybe if I love him hard enough, he'll start loving me back. For becoming the kind of person who checks their boyfriend's likes on Instagram at 3am, looking for signs of what I already know.

Tonight he asked what I wanted for dinner like everything was normal. Like I hadn't spent the whole day crying in my car because he forgot my birthday. Like he hadn't introduced me as his "friend" at last week's party. Like I haven't been dying inside every time he pulls away when I try to hold his hand in public.

My best friend keeps asking why I stay. I wish I had a better answer than "because I love him." But that's the whole stupid truth. I love him. I love him so much it physically hurts. I love him even though I know - I KNOW - he doesn't love me back.

Do you know how pathetic it feels to plan your whole day around someone who probably doesn't think about you at all? To get excited when they text you first, only to realize they just need something? To lie awake at night wondering what she has that you don't? (Because there's always a "she" - the one they like on every post, the one they talk about a little too much, the one they light up around in a way they never do with you.)

The dumbest part is that I keep waiting for some big dramatic moment. Like maybe one day it'll get so bad that leaving will feel like the only option. But it's not big dramatic moments. It's small things. It's a thousand paper cuts of indifference.

It's the way he doesn't ask about my day.

It's the half-hearted hugs.

It's the "maybe next time" when I suggest doing something together.

It's the way he can go weeks without seeing me and it doesn't bother him at all.

It's how he never puts his phone down when we're together.

It's the fact that I can't remember the last time he was excited to see me.

My mom always said you should be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. I used to think that was just something people say. Now I understand. Now I know exactly what she meant. Because this? This isn't it.

But here's the really messed up part - I'm still hoping things will change. Still analyzing every tiny gesture for signs that maybe he's starting to feel something real. Still trying to be the perfect girlfriend, like if I just try hard enough, he'll suddenly realize he loves me too.

I know how this ends. I've read this story before. I'm not stupid. I know he's never going to wake up one day and suddenly love me the way I love him. I know I deserve better than someone who makes me feel like an option.

But knowing you deserve better and actually leaving are two very different things.

So here I am, sitting in my car, writing this post. And in a few minutes, I'll go back upstairs. He won't ask where I've been. I won't tell him I've been crying. We'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and tomorrow we'll wake up and do it all again.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back.

It's knowing they don't love you back and staying anyway.

Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com

[jazzpostsrandomthings]

My introduction to FFXIV

Hey, after posting the thing about the stress test server a few weeks ago, I got an idea to try and go down the memory lane, trying to recall everything that had happened during the time I've spent playing Final Fantasy XIV. I hope that someone would find my story and experiences interesting. After all, I found out that I enjoyed seeing other people's reactions to the game itself as well.

But in order to tell my story, I have to start somewhere. And I can't find a better way to do so than to tell you how I learnt of the game in the first place.

Not sure when exactly did it start, but I remember my friend mentioning that he was playing FFXIV during Summer this year, I think. I wasn't too interested, after all I had prior experience with MMORPGs like Aion, Tera, Black Desert, ArchAge and even that Digimon Masters Online or whatever was it called, and I didn't go further than level 30 in any of them (which meant I was playing for less than a month or a month and a half at max for Aion (the 2010 version prior to becoming the cash shop simulator with no story) and Digimon Masters). Why was I trying so many MMOs out in the first place? Well, my mom is actually into MMOs herself so I was visiting the titles she was playing as well (minus Digimon Masters) to help her and just find a title I would like, but it never clicked so I thought that maybe I wasn't into online gaming in the first place.

So when I heard that my friend was playing an MMORPG that was also a part of a franchise I didn't know much about, I kinda wanted to join... but I hesitated, knowing that it would probably end the same way as it did for five other titles I've listed above.

Fast-forward to the beginning of September 2023, September 2nd to be presice, when I saw some hentai-loving douche from a Russian Megaman Discord server saying how much the old gaming and MMOs sucked in comparison to perverted gachas he was playing with and how the critically-acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV was actually trash. Needless to say, the guy was banned for posting hentai there. But either way, what he said about FFXIV was actually a good advertisement for the game so I remembered what my friend was saying and decided to reach out to him, saying I am willing to give it a shot. I did mention that I might not stay for too long here due to my track record with MMORPGs, but he said it was fine and that I can leave if it doesn't light up the spark in me in a month. He then made a group DM with a friend of his who actually was a person I saw on a different server a few years ago so that was neat.

I made a SquareEnix account that same evening, downloaded the game and then logged into the Free Trial for the first time, getting hit with this game's version of Prelude (even though I wasn't a fan or FF series, I knew the tune) and feeling a sense of tranquility, staying on the screen for a few minutes and continuing to listen to it while fiddling with settings.

I watched the opening cinematic (it was great but I was wondering if the game even had Japanese voice acting because I like playing games and hearing their original language, be it English, Japanese or something else, just a personal preference) and got to the character creator. I was looking at the races, finding a liking to exactly the three of them -- cat-eared people with furry tails known as Miqo'te, tall and slender horned people named Au Ra and short child-like folk with long ears by the name of Lalafell.

Also I was struggling a lot with trying to read most of the race's names at first. It took me at least a few weeks to memorize them even.

At first, I wanted to make Axl as a cat boy here, thinking that I probably won't stick for long anyway (and I did make him in the game later, I still have his preset saved), but I decided to actually choose the race none of my friends picked up (one was a Miqo'te, other was an Au Ra), so I went for a lalafell and made my boy Pi from ROCKMAN ZERO - Chapter: AXL here to the best of my ability. One of the two friends was certainly really happy I chose a potato according to her messages when I had announced it :D

After getting freaked out by the game asking what my deity was (picked Oschon because Pi has a thing for exploring and learning new stuff about the world), I decided to pick the Healer class, before getting told not to do that because it would make early combat really annoying, and then my friend told me I can go for Arcanist since it would become a Healer class at level 30. Needless to say, I went for the book, then chose the Atomos server because my friends were there (ping wasn't bad here at all, even though everything tends to freeze rarely due to my internet provider screwing me over) and thus had set my eyes towards the seaside jewel of Eorzea -- Limsa Lominsa...

I didn't know there was a different opening for each of the city-states at that time so I had some flashbacks to ArchAge when my character, Pi Peataan (I REALLY didn't think much while giving the character a name), but then we had actually arrived to the city and... I realized I underestimated my PC with the potato graphics settings I had supposedly set for it. Those bushes took me out of it for a moment.

So, I arrived to Limsa, fixed the graphics, met Baderon Tenfingers (still giggling at that name), took notes that pirate speak is indeed quite hard for me to read quickly, then went to the main plaza with giant aetherite where I was met by my friends, the self-proclaimed 'emo catboy' Miqo'te Summoner/Scholar and an immensely tall black-scaled Auri Dark Knight. They greeted me, which made me feel all shy because before that I've only seen these people as 2D avatars and text messages, and now they could ran around me and kinda interact with me... ahem. One of them added me to the friends list (other couldn't, he was still in Free Trial), and then went their own ways while I had one hour left before the bed to explore the city.

I didn't know yet that you don't need to do yellow quests so i just picked up all the quests that were available in Limsa before proceeding with the main quest. I was getting lost in this giant city A LOT, which was the result of me having what I call "topographical cretinism", but I was... enjoying it. I ended the day without setting a foot outside the starting area, but I was looking forward towards tomorrow to explore some more, drifting to sleep while the main menu theme kept ringing in my head, accompanying me into my dreams...

Hope you enjoyed this entry. I will try to continue this series. I had a lot of fun remembering the details of the first day of FFXIV for me and what was I feeling during it all. Playing through it again with my friends that cannot play FFXIV or don't want to sink so much time into an MMO, and looking through the backlog of messages and screenshots in Discord I left while going through all of that certainly helped to assemble these memories back in a proper order.

Next Entry >>

[zarvasace]

PROGRESS POST

(12/18/23)

If you're interested in what I've done recently, the state of my projects, and what I plan on doing in the new year, read on! :)

By Fandom

Linked Universe Projects

Shatterproof: I have more backstories cooking, and a half-finished fic or two, but that's about it. I plan on updating a story at least once before January

Council (1931 AU): backburner, haven't really had inspiration. Still on my radar though, and it spins through my head on occasion!

Marvelous Misadventures: been plucking away at this! I recently had an epiphany regarding the next part of the plot, so hopefully that gets me more excited to work on it

Considering expanding the coloring pages I made into a whole series, that could be cool

Misc stuff includes a couple half-abandoned oneshots, a few drawing ideas, and a major art project that probably won't happen because I'm trying not to burn myself out 😅

Four Swords Projects

Fairytale AU: recently gained fire for this again. Reread and organized all my existing material, edited the outline, and I desperately want to finish it soon. Hesitantly scheduling for before the new year. Draft currently maybe about 30% of the way, at 8k.

Isekai AU: I don't think I've mentioned this to anyone outside discord, but ta da I'm deep in this. I'm probably 90% done, about 30k. This will be a Christmas fic, I hope!!

Vampire lords AU: rambly vampire plot is going. Somewhat slowly. I've been trying to not overload myself with too much, so this has been demoted slightly. :) Bite fics happen spontaneously, though, and there might be another coming.

Rinthia AU: my original world, the one seen in Nothing New Under the Sun. This is kind of a passing thought, definitely in planning stages, but I would kind of like to expand this—see where the other characters are, give y'all some answers, because the answers are there

Non-fandom

I want to do more traditional art, graphite and watercolors mostly, and that usually means using photos or life instead of fandom stuff. Makes it a bit less exciting, but maybe I can find a way of doing that. I miss my lil oil paint studio area but I can work with what I have

I'm crafting a few Christmas presents instead of buying them because I do not have much money. That is something I need to spend like, this next week doing

Sanderson merch: I have a goal of getting a booth at Dragonsteel next December, and selling some small souvenir stuff. My plans involve making more pins (I ordered a couple already, and they're very nice), drawing some coloring pages, and maybe advertising here a little once I actually have some stuff I'm proud of up. This will ideally take a year to get together, though, so no rush.

By Month

November

I spent most of November working on The Worst Thing About Earth, kind of an impulse fic that spiraled out of control. I think I burned myself out a little on this, so I've been taking it slowly. Trying to, anyway.

December

So far, I've mostly worked on holiday gift exchanges and some backburner stuff. Like I said, I've been taking it kind of gently. I plan on finishing the FS isekai AU this month, and getting most of the way through the fairytale AU. Getting those off my plate will free me up to think about other things, I think. I also plan on maybe one more bite fic and one more LU disability AU thing before the new year.

January On

I'm not sure what the next month will bring! Ideally, I'll be wrapping up the fairytale AU and intermittently posting a few little things. I'm hoping to return to a couple of my older projects soon, mostly Marvelous Misadventures, because I've left that thing unfinished for LONG ENOUGH.

This next year, I want to try to devote more time to doing things for myself that aren't fandom things. I'd like to reread Stormlight Archive before #5 comes out in December, play more video games, and do more painting. I would like to establish a better habit of making and eating food. I want to play board games a little more often.

Still, the muse can be fickle, and as you probably know by now, I am very good at chasing my inspiration!!

[riririnnnn]

Most of all, hello again! And before you ask, no, I'm not a telepath or a psychic. I mean, I was a psychic for a mini time to steal— I mean, make money fairly. :D

Back here again… I'm glad you've found some new hobbies and are doing other things! Of course, I'm also very sad when I see that you're stopping writing because maybe you feel like it's becoming more of an obligation than something cool that you're doing to share. I'm really feeling like a balance, I'm happy and sad because you really are one of the few creators of quotev that I like and you were also the one who gave me the starting point to start writing my Blue lock povs. <3

So what I'm really going to say here now as a young Brazilian who accidentally took a six bloody month psychology course is; Don't try too hard or force yourself to do something you no longer want to do. If that second one is the case then I just wait for a post like "It's over, I'm done writing, Bye and Lol."

And one more thing, I'm like air. You may not see me or smell me, but sometimes you hear me and feel me— :D

Ily, bye-bye darling.

—TJ. 🇧🇷

PS; Don't worry, I probably won't actually kill someone and I'm sorry about the accidental double ask.

Ah, well, I consider myself as a lawful good, but I don't mind the idea of, y'know, stealing money from the rich. Like, I don't condone the idea of stealing—that's a bad manner, but stealing from the rich? I understand that.

And you are scaring me now..

Like, be honest, do you have any special supernatural power? Do you have a camera in my room or something? 'cause how do you know that yes, writing indeed started to feel like an obligation to me—I lost the sparks—especially during those times when I, out of the blue, started to lose motivation to write.

You see, personally, I think the most important thing for a Fanfic writer is that you should have fun while writing! I mean, it's not a job, so you should enjoy it! And I've been living by this motto ever since I, myself, became a Fanfic writer.

But lately, I wasn't able to feel the same, y'know.

Whenever I do random things, I think of my books, the potential future plot and stuffs, and I always have this stupidly big smile on my face during the whole time—you might even think I'm mentally ill or something because I'm feeling that much of happiness!

However, you can say a couple of weeks to be completely honest, I wasn't able to feel the same joy, y'know, Instead of smiling and giggling like an idiot, I ended up frowning whenever I opened the books. My face used to be like: >:( It started to feel more like a chore of something, and I couldn't confess it truthfully until now because, well, haha, I thought it was very rude of me to say so.

I kinda don't have any idea why I started to feel this way, but I'm sure that the book Cliché had a pretty big hand behind this—I think I did vent about it to you some months ago (?).

I mean, it's very arrogant of me to say this, but I took (maybe take?) pride in the fact that I never suffer(ed) from writer's block and that my imagination power is very strong—ideas always keep flooding in my mind and story automatically formed on its own as I typed. However, I never realised that having so many ideas can also mean that they may not connect very well to eachother, y'know.

And that's exactly what happened while I was writing the book Cliché. I had abundance of ideas for the story to proceed, but they just didn't link up which frustrated me and, I guess, also damaged some of my ego.

I won't say I'm done with writing though :) I still like it a lot, and I'm, slowly, getting back into the track—it may take a while, I think.

Oops, I ranted a lot :p

Thank you so much! You are very, very sweet <3

Also, "You may not see me or smell me, but sometimes you hear me and feel me," hm? That's scary, hehe :p

And LMFAOOOO! Glad to know you won't actually kill someone, lol.

Take care <3333333333

Sending you lots of love!!

[kthecutest]

Progress Loading....˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Hi my dear anons and moots! I've been dead for like maybe a week now? but yes like what my last pole suggested I have been dying countless times trying to plan out the first draft of the K birthday fic and now I am writing the final draft.

Spoilers .·:¨¨ ≈☆≈ ¨¨:·.

There is 20 parts to it that i've divide on the first draft but obviously you won't be able to tell since i'll be adding several small sub-titles in between random paragraphs (that have nothing to do with the divided parts pattern btw)

The fic has a lot to do with the dark moon webtoon (anddd nothing will probably come off accurate from the original webtoon cuz i don't even read it ToT so just take note of that) Everyone is mentioned in their irl names rather than character names. Yes there will be mentions of Sooha, Enhypen and &Team.

The fic mostly focus on the rollercoaster storyline (i wouldn't call it that bc my storyline is like tornado rn and me trying to put it in words is also very tornado-style and lets not talk about how the story is very anti-climatic )#greatadvertising - soooo there won't be too much smut involved. Just like one smut scene.

I tried my best to make the reader role interesting but also not-pick me at the same time. (Hopefully it does not come off as a pick-me cuz I would fall to my death if it did)

Reader isn't human btw. She's not some human with a supernatural power (AHEM- SOOHA) i don't want her to be so overpowered and special. Maybe y'all can take a guess what her identity is? (vampires, werewolves and humans - She's none of the mentioned ones)

Progress .·:¨¨ ≈☆≈ ¨¨:·.

There is 20 parts in total and I have only started part 3 when I'm writing this soooo YEA- hopefully i can finish soon (I mean obviously i won't post till his birthday but i'll be busy next month so i must finish before next month arrives)

We are already at 1300+ WORDS at part 3 people-

I... actually think atp i might end up with more than 20k words. TT

Questions .·:¨¨ ≈☆≈ ¨¨:·.

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔◥ ༝༚༝༚ ◤▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

[anxiety-thyme]

First Friday fic night is here again!

For a refresher you can see what this is about here. Last month was Snow White With the Red Hair .

In last month's poll you degenerates voted for Real Slow Burn - 100k words or more. I should've known. Since we are focused on fic type we are going to hit a few different fandoms.

Voting for next month's topic at the end!

I had a couple of requirements for myself when choosing fics this month otherwise I wouldn't have known where to start and the list would be too long. It's already really long tbh.

The 100K word count had to be for the single fic - not for a series.

The wordcount had to actually be above 100k. No cheating with those 98K fics.

The ship had to be a main part of the story, not an afterthought.

No more than two fics per fandom.

I have to have read it more than once. <- I'm aware of what this says about me. I'm the degenerate actually.

If you've read some of the fics I've posted previously you might have picked up on the very specific vibe in most of what I recommend. Yes, I am just now realizing it and no I don't want to talk about it. Yes maybe a hug wouldn't hurt. We actually have a few that won't leave you emotionally damaged this month!

I thought I'd start with some fandoms we haven't hit yet. As always mind the tags. There is definitely smut.

My Hero Academia

Pairing: Todoroki/Bakugou I'll admit, I was unsure whether to include any MHA since the fandom can be A. Lot. especially when ships are involved. That said, I live in my own little corner of the internet and there are some phenomenal writers hidden away if you go look for it.

The lights are all out (its a big big city), by shaekspeares

"Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order). He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that's another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn't leave him to his own devices anymore."

I enjoy everything shaekspeares writes in the fandom. Their prose is beautiful and their work feels fully rested within the universe while telling compelling and emotional stories.

Candy Canes and Christmas Crackers, by bigdorkenergy

“So….your huge family somehow all think that you have a long term boyfriend and are insisting that you bring him to your week long Christmas family reunion?” Despite his efforts the end of his question raised in pitch as Kirishma swallowed down a giggle.

“How does that even happen?” Kaminari added popping some of the hashbrowns Bakugou made into his mouth.

_

OR your classic holiday romcom where Bakugou needs a fake boyfriend to bring home for Christmas and Todoroki is willing to take that bullet."

I'm not big on Christmas fics. Not for any particular reason I don't think? But, I am a big sucker for fake dating fics. This is adorable and so pure as these two do the whole friends to lovers thing.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

BBC Sherlock

(I know, right?? What is this 2012??)

Pairing: Sherlock/Watson

Performance In a Leading Role, by Mad_Lori

"Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?"

I know I've said this a few times, but I don't read a lot of true AUs but of course there are always exceptions. This is done so well that I don't think you have to be in the fandom or know anything about the characters at all and you would still enjoy it. The slow build from distain to love is really well done.

Community

Paring: Annie/Jeff (don't @me) I know Community isn't everyone's thing but there is some great fic out there just sayin'

It's Always Open Season on Princesses, Elsiesnuffin

"Annie is given the opportunity to do some travelling over the summer after her second year at Greendale."

This is very Roman Holiday-esque. It's a fun romp through Italy while Jeff figures his shit out. Jeff figuring his shit out is my bias. Also, is that a fanfiction.net link I see? 👀

Attack on Titan

pairing: Erwin/Levi

Small Mercies, by Calacreda

"Levi misses Erwin in the margin between sleeping and waking. He thinks about Erwin when he steps out of a hot bath into cold air. He imagines Erwin’s new life, his new vocation, his new family, when the seasons change, or when he blows the candles out, or now, as the sun sets. The only space he does so is a space of a threshold. It does not feel good or bad. It does not feel happy or sad. Levi realises now, however, that this is not the same as it feeling nothing."

Six years after the War ends and they part ways, Levi finds himself at Erwin's door again."

I cannot express how beautiful this is. I've read it so many times and I still cry each time. Levi feels so raw and real as someone who has never really known family and doesn't have the words to put to what he wants and how he feels.

Tiny Anthem, by onthearrow

"Levi swore to Erwin he would kill the Beast Titan. But how can he follow such an order when it's Erwin himself he pulls from its nape?"

Okay, imagine that you have spent years recovering from the grief of losing someone you loved, healing from a toxic relationship, learning to be comfortable in your skin, taking on a role you never asked for and fighting to create a space for yourself in the world. Got it? Now imagine the person you were grieving turns out to not be dead. And also, they don't know who you are. Oh and they have been brainwashed by the enemy. That feels good, right?

I am embarrassed by how many times I've read this. Every time a new chapter came out I would start from the beginning again. I finally promised myself 5 chapters ago that I wasn't allowed to start all over from the beginning until the final chapter comes out. It should be soooon.

Teen Wolf

pairing: Stiles/Derek

Home, by TheTypeWriterGirl

"January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?"

Here is the thing. Not only is this fantastic, but the companion piece that is about Derek and Stiles' parents is also good. I didn't think I'd be able to read a fic about parents who are almost non-existent in the show without the characters from the show in it. I did here and I couldn't put it down.

The Hollow Moon, by thepsychicclam

"It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people."

I know this makes me awful but I'm a sucker for post Nogitsune Stiles. Nightmares? Yes. Disassociation from reality? Bring it. Add in a dash of Derek recognizing what he's going through and I'm there.

There are two fandoms missing that I would have loved to include however:

Snow White With the Red Hair: There are only 2 100+ Obiyuki fics on AO3 so they didn't feel in the spirit of this month's recommendations.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Let's be real most of what I have bookmarked is just straight up porn and not terribly long. That said, there is one really good story that I love but when I went back and looked at the word count turns out it is only like 50K words?

Tell me how much you like them on a scale of Abba to shoulder cat!

Do you like looking at fics by themes or do you prefer by fandom? Let me know.

[andorerso]

I sure would like to know more about the WIP just called "Jyn leaves" because I have the feeling that ANGST is incoming.

oh there's SO MUCH angst... tons of angst. probably my most painful story if I'm being honest 😭 it's playing with one of my favorite tropes, thinking the other is dead, but with a twist

it's post-Scarif, Jyn and Cassian survive and tentatively begin a relationship, and while it's the happiest either of them have been in a long while, it's not exactly easy. they both have their own stuff to overcome and deal with, trust and abandonment issues, problems with communication etc... it's not perfect but they're trying and it's working so far.

until it isn't. Jyn ends up succumbing to her fears and insecurities (she's gonna need a catalyst that pushes her into this but I haven't figured out the exact details of that yet) and she ends up leaving the Alliance with only a brief note to explain that she's leaving and he shouldn't come looking for her. basically she just panics, and running seems like the safest, best option to spare herself the inevitable heartbreak.

except of course it doesn't, at all. because leaving is harder than she expected, and she regrets it almost immediately but coming back is really difficult as well. she agonizes over it for a long while, fearing that people (read: Cassian and the rest of the rogues) will hate for leaving like that, that they won't want her back, or perhaps worst of all, that they're happy she left and better off without her. for a while she convinces herself that it'd be better for them if she stayed gone, but deep down she knows in her heart that she made a mistake and the only way to make things right is to go back and face them and hope she can fix things. she's not sure she'll be welcomed back, but she has to at least try because not knowing what could have been would drive her mad.

so eventually, maybe like two months later, she finds her way back to the Alliance and prepares to face her family, and especially Cassian. except he's nowhere to be found. and at first, she thinks he's avoiding her which was to be expected. but when Bodhi comes to see her and she asks after Cassian, he gets really quiet and grim and somberly informs her that he was killed in action a few weeks ago. and Jyn realizes that she waited too long, missing her chance to make things okay and she'll have to live with that regret forever...

anyway, Cassian is eventually found alive ofc, but it's a difficult journey before that, and even after that. I love pain, what can I say? one of my favorite painful tropes is leaving things on a bad note with a loved one before their death, as horrible as that is, because I think the regret and guilt is fascinating to explore. but I'm also too much of a softie to make it permanent, and as I said I love the thinking the other is dead trope, AND the exes trope, so basically this is just very self-indulgent for me.

I actually have a snippet for you too (set shortly after Jyn finds out about Cassian and Kay confronts her)

“What?” Jyn spits out, clenching her fists but resisting the urge to throw herself at the droid and begin pummeling his metal chassis. The only one who would get hurt is her, but maybe that’s what's so appealing about it. “What, Kay? What could you possibly say to me that would make me feel even worse than I already do?”

There’s a pause. Kay stares at her, unaffected by her outburst.

“Cassian loved you,” the droid answers evenly. He doesn’t sound judgmental, for once, or angry or spiteful. He says it as a simple fact and that hurts more than his hatred would have. “Even after you left.”

Jyn’s face contorts in rage, and she snarls at him, a second from breaking down. “Get out.”

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

auggggggh ive been wanting to make this post for an eternity but i havent been able to because I keep trying to explain myself WELL guess what. Im giving up, heres the song Wenn ich tanzen will from Elisabeth: das Musical with english translations, does it not make you think of what if Feysand was interesting

If you dont wanna watch the whole thing for some reason, I'd like to highlight this part

Fly!

I'll fly alone!

I alone want to accompany you through night and storm

I don't want to be accompanied anymore

Not even by you — I won't let myself be led

You're free only through me

Only through me

Only for me

For me!

For you shall make the way for me

I'm going my own way now

I've seperated myself from you — Leave me alone!

You've fallen in love with me

Because there's no freedom without me

And no one can understand you except for me!

Oh and also this part (theyre kinda singing over each other at this point)

I'm strong enough on my own!

You were only strong as long as you still thought that you were weak

I'm not calling for you!

You will call for me!

I'm not seeking you out!

You will seek me out!

I'm beginning to love my life!

Soon you will hate it!

Okay, I actually lied at the start of this post, I am gonna try to explain myself. My ideal not-boring version of Feysand that I think of when I listen to this song is like. Okay so, the structure of the story is fundamentally the same (except it takes place over a wayyyy longer timespan) with Feyre initially just kinda going about her new life as a traumatized fae and Rhysand coming to pick her up once a month, which ends up helping her because the SC manorhouse is kind of just covered in a bunch of depressing ooze rn (figuratively) and she cant really leave and Rhysand is basically giving her an excuse to hang out in a place without ooze, so its easier for her to have a good time. Rhysand is kinda awkward around her initially because hes basically like "ohhhhhh shit oh fuck, the woman that I tortured UTM as a fucked up way of coping with what Amarantha was doing to is my soulmate!!" because i really hate the fact that Rhysand apparently already knew about her and dreamt about her before she was even fae, it shouldve snapped in place for both of them during that little scene at the end of ACOTAR but Feyre has no concept of how a mating bond is supposed to feel like so shes just kinda like "huh, that felt kinda weird. anyway"

(this inexplicably got very long. like, 6 more paragraphs long. so much for me not explaining myself)

So yeah, Rhysand is hardcore struggling trying to figure out how to win her over despite all of the torture, but fortunately for him all she wants is to be left alone, so he does that, no putting her in unecessary danger and no asking insane favors of her even though theyve only been hanging out for like two weeks. Idrk how, but at some point they would start to get closer, this all happens very slowly, its a true slow-burn. And then one day Tamlin is like "I cant stand it, I need to find a way to break this bargain" so he collects a bunch of guys and he tells Feyre that theyre gonna go out and travel through all of Prythian and maybe even beyond in order to find a way to do it and itll probably take them atleast a few months. And then when Feyre says she wants to come along because this is about her after all, hes like "no, its dangerous and also, if Im gone then the Spring Court is gonna needs its Lady" and then he puts the shield around the manor because yeah, Im keeping Tamlin shitty in this one, sorry. This is about me trying to make Feysand good but trying to figure that out with Tamlin being in-character is too complicated for me rn so Im just gonna stick to the character assassination (thats something SJM probably also said while writing ACOMAF)

So yeah, like in canon, Mor gets her outta there and then Feyre starts permanently staying the night court except shes not going out on political errands because of the war with Hybern because honestly, this whole war plot is so stupid and it feels so unecessary like cmon Sarah girlie, I can tell youre not actually interested in writing politics, just stick to the romance and the healing journey. Anyway, during her stay she inadvertantly starts spending more time with Rhysand and realizing that he suffered too and that hes only human or fae or something like that, which helps her deal with her UTM trauma because she kinda thought of him as the embodiment of all her new trauma, so seeing that hes really not that and that hes just a person that she can make peace with helps her

Rhys is falling head over heels for Feyre because she just reminds him SO much of Cassian while Feyre is kinda conflicted but starting to develop some affection for him, and again, this happens over the course of many many months instead of just two. And after all that time, Feyre is starting feel pretty good and she doesnt really wanna go back to the spring court if shes totally honest with herself and then oops, Tamlin's back! He finds her and hes super worried like "oh my cauldron, feyre, my servants told me he just kidnapped you and they couldnt find a way to free you!! but Im here now and Im taking you back home dont worry" and Feyre feels guilty and shes basically like "yeahhhhh this was totally necessary, I definitely wanna go back... home, its just that he exploited this loophole in the bargain so had to stay here. Totally against my will, oh no it was so bad" and Tamlin tells her not to worry, theyve found a way to break they just need to get back to the spring court so they do that

At the Spring Court, Feyre gets to thinking. She thinks shes basically completely defeated her trauma by hanging out with Rhysand and shes like "well, my trauma was pretty much the main thing that made mine and Tamlins relationship not work, so now that my trauma is gone its gonna be all smooth sailing from here" and she just willfully ignores the fact that his way of coping with his UTM trauma was suffocating her and making it impossible to deal with her own issues and when she pointed it out to him he had a panic attack about it. Also, at this point it kinda hits her that shes been spending all this time with Tamlins enemy and feeling this affection for him that she hasnt really felt for Tamlin ever since theyve been back from UTM and their relationship started getting really bad, so now she feels very guilty and wants to rush into a marriage with him after all. Also, maybe by this point shes revovered enough to take a step back and start focusing on her surroundings again instead of just herself, and she realises that the people of the Spring Court would really need this kind of big celebration after this long time of turmoil and suffering, so maybe that plays into her decision to marry Tamlin as well idk

Meanwhile, Rhysand is back at the night court absolutely CONVINCED that Feyre is gonna come back to him even without the bargain or atleast send him a message or something, because of the mating bond and because by this point he thinks that Feyre loves him back, she just hasnt said it because Tamlin interrupted them or whatever. Yknow, because Feyre stopped throwing shoes at him and started to tolerate his presence somewhat, which are obviously the surefire signs that someone is in love with you. But anyway, Feyre never does get back to him because shes busy with her wedding and also trying very hard not think about either Rhysand or Tamlin too much so she doesnt simply run out into the forest to avoid dealing with all this bullshit

So yeah, Rhysand finds out about Feyre marrying Tamlin and he gets very upset and so he winnows to the Spring Court on the day of the wedding. Feyre has just been dressed up in this gorgeous pastel pink and green pantssuit (thats very important for the story) and now Ianthe is leaving her alone for a bit before the grand wedding ceremony. At this point Rhysand comes in and they have a confrontation thats basically just the song except in dialogue-form, remember when this post was about a song I really like, yeah me neither. During this confrontation I really want Rhysand to bring up the mating bond and kinda throw it in her face and I want Feyre to basically respond "oh, so now the guy who always preached about giving me choices and not letting others decide for me is gonna get on my case for not doing what some god wants from me, gtfo" and thats basically how it ends. Then the next book is the book where Feyre hay to make the choice between Tamlin and Rhysand because its a romance series at the end of the day, so even though I would like the last book to just be Feyre ending up single and going on her own adventures, I recognize that thats not a great ending for a romance series so

I wanna end this off by saying that I was trying to only focus on the romance for this because its easier, if I were to write my ideal acotar sequel it would look different than this even if I used the original acomaf as a base. So yeah, thats it hope you enjoyed my 7am ramblings, I have been awake for three hours already writing this

[remnantsofthepast-if]

Monthly Update - July 2023

There's still a week left before the end of the month but I'm going to be mostly offline these days since my mother's birthday is coming up followed by mine and my brother's, so I'm posting this today :D

--

Everything I didn't do last month I finished last week! Every scene with the ROs is written, and I must say it surprises me how different they act depending on if the MC is only their friend or if they're becoming something more (subtlety looking at one tall, purple-haired god/dess lol). Now all that's left is Enid's scene and the end of the chapter! Which may sound like it's not much but every time I say there's little else to do I always find out there's more to write than I thought... And everyone who knows me knows how slow I can be :')

I also got a new scene planned for Act 3 that I'm very, very excited to make! Obviously it's going to take quite a while before I can actually write it, but man, I love it already! Just a few hints: a bit of music, a bit of dancing... maybe a chance to make a special someone's heart race and forget about the important task they should be focusing on ;)

And while I was listening to the song that inspire this new scene, I also found something else. I had specific songs for every character of the main group, but now I also have the song that summarises the whole story! It just fits perfectly with the plot and the character it focuses on! The song is called 'Estabas Conmigo' by Maldita Nerea, and it was released this same month, in fact! It's a Spanish song, so probably the majority won't understand the meaning, but trust me, it is the one hahaha

--

On another note, lots of people have started following these pasts few days and it blows my mind! I'm so, so happy and grateful that so many people are giving this story a chance considering it's only beginning and is still way too rough around the edges since it's only the first draft! Thank you very much. I hope you all enjoy it :D

--

Have a fantastic month! See you at the end of the next one ;)

[pebblysand]

the end of act two

in my head, i was going to write a long post. one of those extended a/n-s i used to do, but i think my brain is too mushed, right now, too tired and wired, to say anything of value. maybe i'll do it later, or maybe you'll just send me lots of anons (we all know i love those) which will end up letting me tell you all the things i want to tell you.

for now, i just want to say: thank you. thank you for sticking with me, this past year. thank you for believing in this story. i feel like me posting this chapter, today, is definitely the end of something. not the end of the story yet (there are between five and seven chapters left), but the end of an act, at least.

castles has parts. acts. or maybe, eras, you know, a bit like taylor swift. there are: the early days, the 'blur', chapters one through seven. then, chapter eight. the pivot, the one that changes everything again. and now, nine through fifteen. the rise and fall of mia and harry. the trials, the slow and cumbersome process of adulting. the start of harry and ginny, too - for real.

i often get asked how far i am going to take this story. the answer is: the year 2027, in universe (hopefully, i will finish before then, irl). i can't say why because that would be much too spoilery, but i promise, i know. this obviously means that the pacing will be different, moving forward, though it will speed up gradually. the next chapter will cover a few months, then a year, then a few years. i have plans. you'll see.

before letting you read on, a word of warning. this chapter is long. like 18,000-words long. i struggled all week, wondering whether to cut or not to cut (that is always the question) but decided to just let it be long. first, because chapter eight is long, too, and sometimes things just need to be said. second because selfishly, as i don't know how many chapter i have left, leaving it like this gives me the option to late cut it if needed, if i end up landing on an uneven number, which would throw off the chapter titles thing. i hope you can forgive me.

this chapter is also a bit of a rollercoaster. there are scenes that make me cry. there is also, like, tooth-rotting fluff. it's strange. i hope you like it.

lastly, i also wanted to let you know that i'm going to be taking a break from this story. not forever, don't worry, but probably until march 2023. that means that, for a new chapter to actually come out, it'll probably be may, at the earliest. i think i'm leaving it in a satisfying place, though. a place in which you can probably wait. and if you don't want to, that's fine too. while this is not where the story ends in my head, you could decide it ends there for you. i promise, i won't resent you. i just have real life things going on, and have worked a lot lately, so i think i deserve the break. it doesn't mean that won't write/publish anything, it just means that castles will be on standby, for now. here, too, i hope you can forgive me.

thanks again for all the love, messages, comments, anons, and general support these past few months. i wouldn't have made it here without you. keep them coming, please, they always make my day.

lots of love,

jo