#acted entitled to my plans and still no sign of giving a single shit about me.

[hontou-baka]

KIND OF SATISFYING KIND OF TERRIFYING STOOD UP TO MY GRANDMA WOOHOO

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Why was Lorenzo such a jealous bitch nd why does this fandom treat him like he's a good person😑

okay so i know that this is a rethorical question but i've actually thought about this a lot so i'll take my crack at answering this - WHY is lorenzo such a jealous bitch?

the only thing he's said about why he hates magnus - that i remember of, at least - is the line "he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. his fame is not based on talent, it's all nepotism"

now, anyone who knows anything at all about magnus knows that not a single fucking word of this is true. magnus was born poor in a recently colonized country under a lot of oppression, there was no damn silver spoon in his mouth, and after that he was thoroughly abused by his demon father. his fame is also absolutely based on talent - he invented portals, for fuck's sake! and the "nepotism" comment barely makes sense. i assume he means it's just that magnus' power is all due to the fact that his father is demon royalty, which makes magnus more powerful than most warlocks

so, that explains what lorenzo is jealous of - magnus' power and prestige among warlocks (such as having been HWoB for decades) - but not what the fuck lorenzo's deal is (i mean, we've met plenty of other warlocks in the show, many of which weren't really fans of magnus, but no one other than lorenzo has this idea that magnus doesn't deserve his fame), or why magnus (because while like, yes, magnus is very powerful, i assume he's not the only son of a prince of hell, considering asmodeus is not the only prince of hell and these guys get on the loose, like, weekly. and lorenzo is obviously OBSESSED with him, he deliberately went out of his way and abused his power as HWoB several times specifically to antagonize him, and also, you know, TRIED TO KILL HIM)

lorenzo talks about magnus almost as if magnus took something from him. it's not just that magnus is powerful and that he supposedly doesn't deserve it, lorenzo obviously feels as if antagonizing magnus is some sort of vengeance. i know plenty of jealous people, but going as far as forbidding anyone other than himself from giving magnus a magic transfusion, specifically saying that if it went wrong he wouldn't help, and then refusing to take back the magic when he KNEW perfectly well that would kill him, is to me very obviously a thought out plan TO kill magnus. lorenzo had been hoping from the start that magnus' body would reject his magic and the transfusion would kill him - why else would he specifically say, the second he agreed to the transfusion, that if it went wrong magnus would be on his own?

and it's not like lorenzo even gains anything from that, other than killing magnus. and humiliating him, which lorenzo has said explicitly was something he wanted to do (i believe the term he used was "breaking his spirit", but potato potatoh). if it was about magnus' position of power, he already had that - lorenzo literally already had the HWoB position. if it was about magnus' magic, he had already lost it. lorenzo had absolutely NOTHING to gain from magnus, so his personal vendetta against him doesn't even make sense from JUST a jealousy standpoint. he had already "won" over magnus. the only explanation is that he wanted some kind of revenge

but revenge from what? well, we know that magnus and lorenzo don't like each other, but magnus never really TOOK anything from lorenzo. considering how he wouldn't miss an opportunity to talk about how much he hated him, i think lorenzo would have brought it up if that had been the case. and magnus is just not the kind of person to pull the rug from under other people's feet - look no further than the whole show for evidence of that. he literally puts the others above himself at all times (which is unhealthy but that's another story and something i've talked about plenty of times already)

so why does lorenzo feel so much resentment towards magnus? why does he act as if magnus' power took something that was rightfully his?

i think lorenzo feels that he was entitled to be the most powerful, to have the most prestige, to be above magnus, and he resented magnus because that was simply not true

why?

let's go back to the only thing we know about lorenzo's backstory - the baby painting. yes, it's a huge meme, but think about that for a second. lorenzo has a huge ass painting of himself as a baby that he displays proudly in his home and that's, like, his #1 stop at the house tour. the baby painting. "needless to say, being born in spain during the siglo de oro was quite the experience". is the first thing he said

let's make this abundantly clear: this line makes it canon that lorenzo is a colonizer. the siglo de oro ("golden century" in spanish) started (roughly) in 1492, year of the """""discovery""""" of the americas, and ended (roughly) in 1659, the year when spain signed a treaty and lost a bunch of their territories to france (link to source). altho the term is usually used to refer to the boom of the arts in spain, it's obvious, just from these historical landmarks, that the siglo de oro is about colonization. it's about the fact that at the time spain was at its peak colonial power, and could afford to exploit what later became third world countries, and put part of that money (in fact, the literal gold they were stealing from latin american countries) into arts and other luxuries (because in the renaissance portraits were a luxury item and a symbol of status - link to source) for the ultra rich that benefited from colonization

so, lorenzo is not only a colonizer, but he's a part of the elite. the fact that his family could afford to have a painting of him as a BABY (portraits were almost exclusively adult portraits, and usually of the whole family, unless you were even richer than the rich. and even then individual portraits were usually to celebrate important achievements such as a marriage or acquisition of state - a baby being born doesn't qualify, especially because at the time most babies died not long after birth anyway), and a HUGE painting on top of that, shows that they were just. loaded in an incomprehensible way. im talking jeff bezos level of riches. they were the elite of the biggest colonial empire of their century. so, ironically, lorenzo was born with a silver spoon in his mouth - everything that he had, he was born having, and he specifically had because it was being stolen due to a dramatically violent process of genocide and slavery, that he believed to be entitled to simply because he was born a spaniard/white. that is all canon, because in the shverse mundane history is the same as in real life. EVERYONE who was born in the colonial elites was taught that they were entitled to shit from other countries, that they were superior not only to other ppls but also to their own people - let's not forget that this was way before the advent of republics, those were monarchies. the ppl who were part of the elite straight up believed they were superior to others by virtue of god

"woah woah woah but lorenzo is played by javier muñoz who's brown" yeah, which is unfortunate, but he is still canonically a colonizer. first off, because it's not like they wanted someone to be lorenzo and were looking for brown people - they were looking for someone javier could play because he's a bigshot broadway actor who was also a fan of the show, and then they picked lorenzo. probably because the sh showrunners don't fucking know the difference between a latino and a spaniard. or maybe they do, but they thought, "eh, close enough". either way, lorenzo is a spaniard, and he was born a colonizer - ergo, he is white, regardless of what race his actor is, regardless of even what he looks like. there are plenty of white spaniards with similar skin tones to lorenzo, because what today is spain used to be a territory occupied by middle eastern ppl, and there was mixing. what makes whiteness is not skin tone, it's context, and the context of being a literal colonizer directly benefitting of the oppression of black and brown people is as white as it gets

so, to recap: lorenzo was born a white colonizer, and he was RAISED believing that everything he had, he was entitled to. he was entitled to it by virtue of god, because he was born a part of the rich elite in the richest colonial power in the world, and he had access to everything he could possibly want. and he wasn't just entitled to riches and power - which he still has, look at his fucking mansion, dude - but specifically to superiority to his peers. especially black and brown people, the source of his riches, the people who owe him the wealth he takes from them

and then he joins the warlock world, and not only is he not royalty (because presumably he is the son of a regular demon, not too high up in the hierarchy) but some brown guy is. and this guy is in a position of power over him (high warlock) and he is better than him (at magic, specifically, but also at everything including being a human being, but lorenzo doesn't care about that). and lorenzo is fucking livid, because he believes himself to be entitled to be the best, entitled to be treated as a superior, entitled to admiration and to servitude, especially from people like magnus (let's not forget that the philippines - colonized by spain during the siglo de oro - are right next to indonesia [link]). instead, magnus is, politically speaking, his superior

and it's not like it even means much because the high warlock position is implied to be kind of like, the mayor, and it's not like magnus ever abused his power (unlike some people - and sidenote, i think this backstory is also why lorenzo was so comfortable using his power to antagonize magnus: because he was raised in a context where political power was pretty much boundless and politics and the personal feelings of the ruler were not separated). so in practice its really just that if lorenzo had a problem, he could go to magnus, and if magnus made a decision that referred to all warlocks, lorenzo was supposed to follow it. it's nowhere near like, actual subservience. but it's way too much for someone who was raised to be entitled to the level that lorenzo was

so that's why he has this feeling that magnus took something from him - because in his head, everything magnus has, lorenzo should be entitled to. because in his head, any and all power rightfully belongs to him, and if magnus has it, then it has been stolen. and that might not even be conscious of his part or whatever, altho i doubt lorenzo doesn't think in explicitly racist terms at least in private, but that had been ingrained into his head for centuries on end. if it's still ingrained into the heads of white spaniards born TODAY, imagine one who was actually born at the fucking height of racist exploitation

so. yeah. that's why lorenzo is such a jealous bitch. that's why he hates magnus so much - because he feels that magnus having anything at all lorenzo doesn't is theft, and ironically, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but believes that he earnt what he has whereas magnus didn't. it's not just jealousy, it's a profound feeling of racist vendetta, and i'm sure the sh writers didn't mean it that way, they were just writing a big villain to bring malec together, but death of the author, baby! and this explanation actually makes sense without having to change anything in canon, so, i feel very comfortable saying that's why lorenzo behaves the way he does

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THE BOOKS

[douglashonorscollege]

Burn the House Down

essay by Olivia McDougall ⌂

IT WAS 2006 in the heart of New York City. The New York Knicks failed to make the play-offs for the third consecutive year. President George W. Bush’s approval rating had hit at an all-time low. Panic! at the Disco released “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and Justin Timberlake performed “SexyBack” on the MTV Video Music Awards—hosted by Jack Black—at Radio City Music Hall. For the American people, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times… and three young kids were out pursuing their dream in the streets of Manhattan.

Adam, Ryan, and Jack Metzger were trying their hand at busking in Central Park and Washington Square. The youngest at nine years old, Jack led vocals while his older brothers backed him with instrumentals. The boys played covers of songs old and new, anything to get enough money for new instruments with which to experiment. The brothers spent many years on street corners serenading strangers, earning their 10,000 hours. In the following years, when YouTube started gaining traction, the boys put up videos of their covers: more and more inventive spins on pop songs. Jack and Ryan also started trying their hand at writing, directing, and acting in their own little sketches for video content. At that time, the boys had very few followers, but nonetheless continued to play, to save up, to buy more equipment, to make more music.

As they grew, the boys were exposed to their parents’ old records and the sounds of a very different generation influenced their style. The Beach Boys; the Beatles; Peter, Paul, and Mary among many others inspired them, but more contemporary artists like Kanye West also came into play. Later, while eldest brother Adam pursued his degree at Columbia University, the younger two brothers took note of sampling—the music trend of artists taking sound clips and reusing them in their songs. Jack mentioned to his brotherhow cool it would be if someone sampled Spongebob Squarepants on a track.

“Well, why don’t we do it?” was Ryan’s reply.

In spring of 2013, the brothers, naming themselves AJR after their own initials, released a video of their first single “I’m Ready.” The song sampled the popular Spongebob catchphrase, and became a classic, upbeat, dance-floor pop song. The brothers sent the link to their video to several celebrities over Twitter, until famous singer-songwriter Sia noticed them and passed it along to her manager. The song was then commercially released that summer and began to see regular radio play, and the band was labeled as the next up and comers in the music scene.

After “I’m Ready,” AJR released a five song EP of the same name. Their first song continued to grow, receiving millions of views on YouTube and going platinum in Canada and Australia. The brothers continued to create music (and go to school; the eldest was only in his early twenties at this time), releasing another single and EP titled Infinity in 2014. The majority of the band’s music was pop songs, easy to listen to with familiar rhythms and lyrics of love and youth. Remarkably, the boys chose to mix and record all their own music in their NYC apartment living room, instead of paying for studio time. Paying homage to their workspace and independence, the band released their first album Living Room in 2015. Except for some bouncier, odd-duck tracks like “Big Idea” and “Thirsty,” most of the songs fit the same earlier patterns of the pop genre. However, in 2016, the band experienced the shift that would change their music career forever.

Before the What Everyone’s Thinking EP came out, AJR had little recognition beyond their break-out hit. However, the tracks on the latest EP sounded entirely evolved from the brother’s previous style. The lyrics were brimmed with honesty, abandoning the emptiness of many other pop tunes. The boys sang about missing out on their friends while pursuing their dreams, about being unsure about what love means, about not trying so hard to be cool, about being human. Their style of composition had also matured. The band would release videos on how they made their songs, revealing that they took whatever strange sound they could make and mix it however they could to make it new and interesting. They had people who were not musicians or artists, such as their ever supportive father, come in and sing to add a new dimension to their songs. They used something they called “spokestep,” a technique of recording a someone singing, then cutting it up over a beat in editing. They continued to utilize sampling, taking bits of anything from Fountains of Wayne to yodeling competitions. The EP was well-received with hundreds of messages from fans who deeply related to the music. This was all the push the brothers needed to keep writing freely, and not what they thought would sell.

On June 9th, 2017, the three brothers dropped the album that would unknowingly launch their music career to a unimaginable level. Several songs on the album made it to regular radio play, giving the band more recognition and growing their dedicated fan base. The Click clearly communicated AJR’s desire to get real in their music, with songs about the detached feelings of growing up or distaste toward the typical party scene. One of their most successful songs, “Sober Up,” featured Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo and paved the way for more collaborations with artists such as Steve Aoki and Lil Yachty. The band had been on tours before, playing small venues where the opener drew more fans than they, but now they began to sell out everywhere. The kids who had been playing to no one on street corners now began to sing for thousands.

Shortly after their album The Click debuted, AJR announced that they had been asked to create the theme for Supersize Me 2: Holy Chicken, a documentary attempting to expose the fast food industry’s lax safety regulations. The band had been asked to write for other people before, but never for a movie. The theme song, “Burn the House Down,” would live to surpass its original purpose and become the honest encapsulation of the political attitudes of its time. “Burn the House Down” expresses the band’s indecision to either “keep things light” or to get involved in important issues. The song, with compelling lyrics such as “Or should I march with every stranger from Twitter to get shit done? / Used to hang my head low / Now I hear it loud / Every stranger from Twitter is gonna burn this down” further cemented the band’s dedication to revolution and their abandonment of passivity. The song called out deception plaguing the media cycle and public affairs, and the need to burn it all down in order to expose the truth.

*   *   *

The election of Donald Trump in 2016 acted as a catalyst for various protest movements around the country. Marches have occurred on the White House doorstep since the signing of the Constitution, but the Trump administration triggered a marked influx. Beyond Washington, protests like the Women’s March and National Pride March were seen nation-wide. People from all over rallied together to advocate for science and evidenced-based policies, for immigrant’s rights and racial justice, for transparency over Russian involvement in elections, and even for the publication of Trump’s tax returns. People, especially those liberal-leaning, felt that their voices weren’t being heard and that the President was not reflective of their values. Change in politics is gradual and incremental, but it felt like everyday a new injustice was being thrown at the American people. Families were being separated at the border, more evidence that Russia swayed the 2016 election came to light, allegations of sexual abuse from the President were revealed, racism, sexism, and hate seem to run rampant and unchecked, and overall many people felt disheartened and disgusted with the state of the nation. So, with the power of social media, users of popular sites such as Facebook and Twitter planned protests. The marches drew thousands of people together, uniting many for a common cause. Today’s youth, often labeled as lazy and entitled, came together in the March for Our Lives, an empowering result from one of many tragic school shootings. High-schoolers fed up with feeling unsafe on their campuses advocated for stricter gun control laws and led the biggest youth rally since the Vietnam War, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of people. Americans refused to take anything sitting down and demonstrated their needs loudly to those in charge.

The effectiveness of these protests is a tricky one to determine, as many perceived different goals for the marches. Some believe getting people out on the streets and building a community of like-minded people is a strong start, but others think success is nothing less than immediate change and tangible evidence that they have been heard. Further, some argue that current protests lack the solid political backing that are required to enact true change, and that the marches will never be as powerful as they mean to be without that factor. However, even though many of the things modern protests have demanded have yet to come to fruition, it does not necessarily mean the marches have been for naught. Many of the marches throughout history that today are viewed as world-shattering did not see the change they were fighting for immediately. Politics take time, and the justice and change in policies the people demand to see might still be a long time coming. However, it is necessary to take up the fight, for the people to demonstrate that enough is enough.

Protest songs in the past like “Fortunate Son” by Credence Clearwater Revival or “The Times They are A-Changin” by Bob Dylan rallied people for their cause, stoking the flames of change in hearts across the nation. Music was a way for artists to contribute to the fight, giving a voice to those silenced and reflecting the opinions of the oppressed or wronged. Protest songs today have the same effect, uniting thousands to sing in one voice and empowering movements. “Burn the House Down” provides a battlecry for a whole new generation of people. It is a warning of accountability for those in the corrupt establishment; the harbingers will burn it down.

Works Cited “Burn the House Down” Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnyLfqpyi94 AJR Zach Sang Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQnXGsKwaIU&t=1725 Recent Marches Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_rallies_and_protest_marches_in_Washington,_D.C.#2018 Supersize Me 2 Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Size_Me_2:_Holy_Chicken! Article on political protests, bustle.com: https://www.bustle.com/p/do-political-protests-actually-change-anything-29952 2006 NYC Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:2006_in_New_York_City AJR Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AJR_(band) One of AJR’s “How We Made THE CLICK” Vidoes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YWj3DAo6xM  ∎

More on Olivia ~ Minerva’s Owl Homepage

[demaury]

boys online. chapter 1. (social media influencers au)

7916. 124. 10. These are the numbers that define Eliott and Lucas’ relationship, either they want it or not. 7916 kilometers between them, from Paris to Vancouver. 124 days since they first said ‘I love you’ last spring. And nearly 10 hours, until… well, until they meet for the first time. (ao3)

It’s around 8 at night, and Lucas is already halfway done packing when the truth hits him square in the face with the strength of a truck launched at full speed. “I’m going to be sick,” he stammers, wide eyes falling on the two folded pairs of boxers he’s holding.

Oh boy. He’s so going to be sick. He can feel it, the way his stomach is churning painfully and his eyes are flickering from one corner of his vision field to the other. The worst part is that he has no idea why it’s hitting him now, but all of a sudden there’s a fucking precipice opening in the middle of his bedroom and threatening to swallow him for good.

From the bed, Manon peers above her phone. She’s sitting on a pile of wrinkled clothes that he was absolutely sure he had already packed up. “I already told you there’s nothing to worry about taking a plane. You’ve done it before.”

Lucas’ eyes snap up at her. “I’m not scared about taking a plane,” he huffs, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat is suddenly thrumming behind his ribcage. He’s taken tons of planes before, and he never gave it so much as a second thought. “I’m scared shitless about Eliott.”

Manon quirks a brow. “Eliott,” she repeats flatly, almost in a deadpan, “the guy you’ve been in love with for at least six months and that you’ve been dating for three of them.”

Lucas glares, throwing his pair of boxers in the mess that is already his suitcase. “Eliott, the guy who’s seen me in person only fucking once.”

Fuck he thought he was handling it well, the whole ‘I’m meeting my boyfriend for the first time’ thing, but apparently he isn’t, and it had to dawn on him the night before he’s set to leave for the other side of the ocean to spend two amazing weeks with the one person on Earth he’s been dying to touch and kiss and hug for six fucking months.

“You’re facetiming like, six times a day, and you guys met once already, as you said,” Manon waves. “He knows what you look like, relax.”

“It’s not about-,” he snorts, but his voice trails off.

It isn’t about what he looks like. He’s not self-conscious, he knows he’s cute and he knows he can be hot when he sets his mind to it — even back when he was in the closet he had more game with girls than his straight friends. It’s just that he’s suddenly terrified. Terrified that maybe, justmaybe, they might not be as compatible as they think they are.

“What if I’m a bad lay,” he blurts out, hands falling to his hips.

“Did you ever get any complaint?” Manon asks bluntly.

“No,” he scoffs.

“Then you’re not a bad lay,” she shrugs. It’s a fucked-up logic and he’s dying to speak his mind about it, but she’s already leaning forward to glance at the content of his suitcase, her phone dropping between her crossed legs. “Honestly, it sounds like you’re just trying to find excuses to worry at this point.”

“Like you weren’t a mess when you met Charles after IFYE last year,” Lucas retorted, “and you guys were just hanging out back then.”

Their manager had shipped him and Manon to Toronto the year before to attend IFYE (the International Forum for Young Entrepreneurs) and they had met a bunch of people there, including Charles and his buddy Alex who had launched an app putting together companies and students looking for summer jobs. Manon had immediately awarded Charles the ‘biggest self-entitled jerk’ title, only for them to start dating six months later — something that Lucas isn’t anywhere near to let die down.

Manon squints her eyes at him but doesn’t bother replying, settling for rummaging through his suitcase instead. She exhumes one of the pair of boxers he stashed there two minutes before, a camouflage-patterned one he hasn’t even meant to take with him in the first place. “I don’t think there will be any problem with him peeling the clothes off you,” she says, “but let’s put all chances on our side.”

Lucas gives her a look and snatches the underwear from her hands, before shoving it back in the safety of his underwear drawer. “You’re not helping,” he grits out, scowling, as Manon laughs entirely too long at her own joke. “I’m freaking out because, like, what if he doesn’t like who I am? Or what it’s like being with me? What if he’s just too cool for me?”

Manon rests her elbows on the edge of his suitcase. “It’s going to be just fine. You’re freaking out, and it’s okay, but I can assure you it’s going to be alright. Eliott loves you, the real you, and you’ve been sharing stuff and caring for each other for months now.” She tilts her head. “So what if you two never kissed yet? You guys want to be with each other, and trust me, plenty of people who do kiss and do tons of other stuff beside kissing don’t want to be in a relationship nearly as much as you.”

Lucas purses his lips, running a hand through his hair. “Damn, what is it like when you don’t take it seriously,” he mutters.

Manon huffs a laugh. “Alright. You know what? You’ll want to do a lot of things when you’re there and none of them is ironing your wrinkled clothes,” she says, frowning at the amount of clothes he shoved haphazardly in his luggage. “Bring me something to drink and I’ll see what I can do with your pathological inability to fold clothing items.”

It takes him a second to nod and decipher whether he can trust her with his stuff, then he goes to the kitchen. It’s not like he’s got something to hide from her, they’ve known each other for four years now — as long as he’s been in Vancouver, give or take three months — but he blames it on the everlasting side-effect of being in the closet for a bunch of time and having to watch his every move even at home. To this day he still isn’t sure if his dad is okay with his sexuality and just doesn’t speak about it with him because they are an emotionally constipated single-parent home, or if he’s just acting like nothing happened — like Lucas never came out to him — out of sheer denial. Even the fact that his dad’s the reason he hasn’t been able to fly to France sooner doesn’t quite provide a defined answer.

“You’re not flying to the other side of the world just because you met someone on the internet a month ago,” his dad had decreed when Lucas had first brought it up, last spring, and that’s when Lucas had been reminded how bad being 17 sucks. He’d been making money, meeting people, flying for business purposes, signing contracts, and yet up until last July and his 18th birthday he was unable to meet with his very own boyfriend simply because his dad wasn’t willing to allow him to leave the fucking country.

No need to say he wasn’t thrilled when Lucas told him he was leaving a few days ago, but he didn’t make an attempt to prevent it either. “Just promise me you won’t see your mother without me,” he had said. “If you want to go, I’ll go with you, but I’ve got too much work right now to leave everyone hanging, so we’ll see about that next Christmas.”

Lucas had shrugged, because going to see his mom wasn’t really a part of the plan, but he had promised anyway and that was left to that. His dad is a notoriously very busy man and so the amount of time Lucas is spending with him in a week is generally narrowed down to a quick hello and a quick goodbye every now and then, so he can’t say living with him is terrible by any means. He mostly lets him do the things Lucas wants to do, and in exchange Lucas doesn’t ask him too many stuff and certainly not to be overly present at home — it’s a good compromise, and certainly better than Manon’s parents not giving two shits about her.

Since he’s good at multitasking, he dedicates his right hand to opening the fridge and picking up a soda can for Manon, while the left one automatically reaches up in his back pocket to retrieve his phone. There are loads of notifications from Instagram and several from YouTube, but he ignores them and goes for the whatsapp conversation he has with his boyfriend instead. Eliott went to bed about an hour ago and up until now he wasn’t even angry at their six-hour time difference (like he usually is), because for once it allowed him to focus on the matter at hand (packing everything), and not on his (incredible, amazing, adorable) boyfriend.

Yeah. That was ten minutes ago, before he started getting fucking anxious. He sets the soda can on the kitchen island and starts typing.

you're just going to make fun of me, but, like, i’m panicking

He looks up and nibbles on his bottom lip, eyes trailing around in the kitchen as if the pieces of furniture could give him answers. All of a sudden he’s glad he didn’t start packing up before, because otherwise the freak-out would have happened much sooner and the last thing he wants is to make Eliott feel guilty or concerned or whatever emotion that is not happy for too long at a time. Maintaining their relationship through the last couple of months wasn’t the easiest thing to manage, but they resolved early on to be honest towards each other. Is that something that is worth getting Eliott concerned about?

Nah, he decides as he erases the text. Instead he sends a few heart emojis, because that’s something Eliott deserves to wake up to — and certainly not his boyfriend freaking out —, grabs Manon’s drink and goes back to his bedroom.

Fifteen more hours.

He’s got this.

*

Thirty minutes already.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

It’s not like Eliott is throwing the words at any given opportunity, but he’s literally running in the airport like a lunatic, slowing down and slightly ducking his head every time a member of the security or the staff is squinting at him a little weirdly. It takes forever to make his way through the crowds of people coming back from vacation, and he nearly loses his calm behind an old lady babbling with her husband after she stops for the third time to fish god knows what in her purse.

It all started wrong, in complete honesty.

Thing is, he’s had trouble sleeping for weeks now, mostly because his mind is constantly racing with project ideas, and editing has been taking so much time lately that he always ends up going to sleep at ungodly hours. It’s already a problem in itself most days because he’s getting up at 6.30 to get to work at 7.30 — not to mention that he’s been trying to hide it from Lucas not to worry him —, but when he ends up oversleeping because he forgot to plug his phone in before falling asleep, it’s an even bigger mess.

Truly, waking up to Idriss slamming his flat hand on his front door until he wakes up isn’t how he envisioned one of the most exciting days of his life to begin — not that the follow-up has been any more exciting so far. Six hours a day, five days a week, for four months now, he’s been selling frozen yoghurts in the same restaurant where Idriss is waiting tables, and after a few weeks of freezing cold AC and rude people, word spread out that Eliott, aka srodulv on YouTube, was apparently available for a chat during his work hours — after that it had been three more months of tiny skirts and cheeky doe-eyed customers refusing to take no for an answer, Idriss making too many jokes and his boss being entirely too satisfied with the idea of whoring him out in order to get more customers.

His contract ended two hours ago, and the prospect of being able to squeeze in two weeks between that moment and the schoolyear starting off at the Fémis school, two weeks with his long-distance boyfriend, has been enough to survive one last day selling stupid banana flavored frozen yoghurts —until Idriss whined enough to drag him home to celebrate with a beer, that is.

“No plane ever landed on time, relax,” Idriss huffed when he said that Lucas’ flight was supposed to land in two hours.

Well, Idriss would fucking hear from him, because not only Lucas’ flight is on time, but the asshole who refused to buy a fucking bus ticket and insisted on walking by the front door anyway well and truly delayed Eliott more than what his nerves could handle at the moment. Hence the running. You’d think that reaching the airport would be the end of the nightmare, but no, he found out exactly five minutes ago that he can’t get a wifi signal for the life of him, and that the flickering crumbs of 3G (3G for god’s sake!) aren’t enough to send Lucas a whatsapp text to tell him he’s on his way.

He stops running as soon as his phone dings, relief washing over him when he reads Lucas’ name on the notification.

i'm waiting at starbucks 💖💗

Eliott looks around. He’s in the hall K. If he’s guessing right, Lucas is probably not gone wandering in another hall just for the sake of it, so he scrupulously follows the signs indicating various newsstands and airport shops until he spots the familiar logo, in all its green glory. There are a few customers waiting in line and others spread out, sitting at small tables. His eyes are trailing over the unknown faces a couple of times before he has to admit Lucas isn’t one of them.

It’s a mess. Last time, when Eliott went to Vancouver, Lucas had been waiting for him right after the customs area and they didn’t even have to text each other — it was literally that simple. And, alright, he indeed was pretty excited to meet Lucas for the first time back then, even though they were just friends, but it wasn’t anywhere near as exciting and stressful as it is now. He turns around, ready to get worried and upset, and starts searching the crowd of passing strangers. A family of four eventually leaves his visual field at a snail’s pace, and that’s when his eyes stumble on him, almost on accident.

Him.

Lucas.                                                                              

Eliott’s left paralyzed for a solid minute, drinking in the sight of his boyfriend, his Levi’s shirt, his skinny-jeans, his messy hair, and he feels shy, almost too shy, to make the four or five steps separating them. Too shy, to get over the way his heart is beating and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip long enough to call out the only name he thought about for the last few months, to everyone else’s dismay.

Turns out, he doesn’t need to. Lucas looks up, a little blankly at first, then they make eye contact, and his eyes widen comically, and fuck if they aren’t the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen-

Before he can even think about it his feet are surging forward, without a single care if he bumps into other people on the way. Lucas’ jacket drops from his hands, falling half on the ground and half on his suitcase, and it lasts a second, barely, between the moment Eliott finally started moving and the moment Lucas jumps in his arms, but it’s both the shortest and the longest second of his life. Lucas throws his arms around his neck, and Eliott lets out small laugh as he’s forced to take a step backwards not to drag them both to the ground, hunching a little forward so that Lucas can stop tiptoeing despite it being the most endearing thing in the world.

He can’t even remember how many times he’s been thinking about this, the simple feeling of Lucas’ weight in his arms, and he isn’t sure if he’s ever going to find the right words for that — but he doesn’t care, Eliott decides as he buries his face in Lucas’ neck, not when his boyfriend is here. He allows himself one last sniff of his new favorite drug, taking one more second to breathe Lucas in, before he pulls away, and reaches up to cup Lucas’ face with his hand — he’s not sure, but he thinks Lucas’ eyes are suspiciously bright.

“Damn,” Lucas whispers, voice rough, letting his hands rest on his chest as he relapses his embrace, “I forgot you’re so tall.”

Eliott smiles, chuckling a little, and lets his thumb graze over the sharp edge of his cheekbone. “And I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”

“Aren’t you the cheesiest,” Lucas huffs, grinning.

A few months ago, when Lucas started planning this trip to Paris, they briefly discussed the fact that plenty of influencers took opportunities like these to make some views out of meeting their loved ones in tearful reunions. Frankly, putting himself out there wasn’t Eliott’s strong-suit and he was relieved when Lucas said he wasn’t planning on making someone film them.

“You aren’t going to regret it, right?” he had asked, a bit nervous.

“Nothing about it is worth making you feel uncomfortable,” Lucas had replied with a casual shrug.

Yeah. Now he regrets it though. He wishes he could have recorded it somewhere, just to replay it whenever the distance gets too much. He, the cinema student, in the most prestigious cinema school in France, didn’t think one second to put his embarrassment aside for the sake of filming.

The irony.

Lucas is staring up at him, blue eyes a shade as deep and dark as the ocean, and Eliott feels his heart swell. He doesn’t quite know who leans in first, and if they both did, how on Earth they knew it was the right moment, the perfect second even, but they do. They lean in and Lucas’ lips meet his own in the softest manner, gentle and warm, somewhat cautious in the pressure he puts into them, but it’s more than enough to make Eliott’s heart burst and the last couple of months seem more bearable.

He’s right.

He’s in love, and he’s right, and nothing else matters — not even the sick pleasure of knowing how fucking wrong they all are.

[kihyunswrath]

About boycotting Starship

Ok so there’s been a lot of discussion about boycotting Starship and since this is clearly a very sensitive topic, I decided to write my own post instead of replying to other posts. Before I even start, let me make this clear: I personally haven’t stopped supporting Monsta X, but I am waiting to see what happens in the near future, especially in the aftermath of their visit to the US, and I’ll make my decision then depending on what Starship decides to do or how it starts looking for the remaining members and their mental health. Or if we have, at that point or some time later, heard about Wonho. But since there has been a plenty of people listing all kinds of reasons as to why Monbebes shouldn’t start boycotting Starship and how that’s a stupid thing to do apparently, I will have to respond to some of those claims, in an attempt to clarify this entire discussion. 

1) First of all, there is not a single Monbebe in this fandom who isn’t here specifically because they have loved and supported Monsta X. I want to make this absolutely clear. Let’s stop this discourse about “real and fake fans” at once, before it even starts. Do not engage in that way of thinking even inside your own head, because it does not get us anywhere. Aside from stopping other fans from actually hurting/harassing idols, absolutely none of us get to say what kind of actions, emotions, opinions and reactions are somehow more correct than others. You do not get to shame anyone for being unsure or unwilling to proceed in the ways you see fit. 

2) Fans absolutely can protest against Starship by boycotting them if they so choose. If their reasoning is not completely based on lies, rumors or misinformation, their motives still don’t have to be something you agree with because in the end: it’s their freely given and taken money, attention, love, time and energy. It’s not yours to give or take. People’s feelings about this issue should be respected, and if they decide to walk away from Monsta X because they do not accept the ways Starship is managing their groups, they should be able to do so without being told they’re stupid, irresponsible or impatient, or even personally responsible for ruining idol careers. They do not have to keep giving money to companies who they think are acting unethically, immorally and unfairly, not even because some of the workers within the company are also people they happen to like. They do not have to trust that Starship’s silence is going to lead to anything good. They do not have a responsibility to keep supporting Monsta X, and Monsta X doesn’t somehow deserve their money or time. Fans should be giving things to Monsta X freely, only because they want to, and that’s it. Fans are also allowed to change their opinion later on and start supporting Monsta X again if they find out that Starship was planning to make Wonho come back after all, because again, it’s their money and their time.

3) Like I’ve been saying many times, there are way too many things about this entire issue we can’t be sure of, and not all of them have anything to do with lawsuits or lengthy legal battles we can’t have statements of yet. One of those things we don’t know is whether Monsta X members even want to continue their careers anymore. There’s no way for us to find that out, because Starship has not only forced them to continue with their schedules without resting, but also banned them from talking about the entire thing and made them pretend Wonho was never a member of the group. There’s a big chance at least some of the members would love to call it quits right here just because of those reasons, let alone because of how much they miss Wonho, but honestly? Just the fact that they are not allowed to talk about their feelings concerning this entire mess is a big, red fucking flag. So if some fans show their dissatisfaction to Starship’s silencing tactics by deciding not to support them any longer, that’s not a bad thing in itself.

4) I’ve heard comments that say boycotting Monsta X would make the boys disposable in the eyes of Starship, and I just want to say that they very much  were proven to be disposable already. That’s exactly why people have been protesting in the first place. Why else did Starship let Boyfriend literally wither away before finally, after years of waiting and silence, made the disbanding announcement earlier this year? They were once really successful too? Why else did Starship force Monsta X members continue with their comeback shows and then made them record stuff and attend other schedules immediately afterwards, instead of letting them recover for a while? Why did Starship kick Wonho out, even from the dormitory, in a matter of days, instead of putting him into a hiatus, waiting it out or starting a legal battle for him under their own name? It’s because Monsta X members, just like any other idols and trainees under Starship, are disposable. The goal for the people choosing to boycott Starship wouldn’t be only to make them realize how valuable Wonho was to them, but to not give financial support to a horrible company that chooses to treat both its workers and fans like disposable people, and if it led to Starship collapsing entirely, or just them disbanding Monsta X because they didn’t give a shit about them in the first place, that might the best possible outcome instead of the worst. If Starship only cares about money and shows that to their extremely popular and well liked group by dropping them immediately after their sales decrease, it for sure means Monsta X members should not stay with them and that they deserve a much more competent agency. Getting out of Starship would set the members free to try other things. It would make it possible for them to create jobs for themselves, get hired under other agencies or even establish a small company just for themselves. Sure, we are not entitled to make such a decision for them nor do we know if they actually want to leave from Starship. It’s true that this is most likely their best money-making position they will ever have. But fans are still allowed to be worried of the fact that the money and time they spent on Monsta X was not actually going to the right hands, and might have been hurting the members more than it was ever helping them. That’s, again, their decision to make.

5) People, no matter how you think about this issue, please do not make it sound like people turning away from Monsta X are somehow depriving them of their money. That’s not how this works. It’s not our responsibility to maintain their lifestyle. We are not their employers, nor do we have a work contract with them. We have been willingly, voluntarily funding and voting for them simply because we loved the content they created, uploaded and published, not because they somehow deserved our money. Just because they have been working hard to please their fans, doesn’t mean we owe them something in return. Also, this is not about starving people who will die unless we donate them money, this is about relatively well-off people who are receiving things from fans as gifts. Monsta X members without doubt will do just fine in the future too, either as ot7 or as separate individuals, as celebrities or people with private lives and private careers, and it isn’t useful to make it sound like they would thrive only if every single Monbebe forcefully paid for their bills until forever and let Starship gain most of that money (statistically most of the kpop agencies get way more than half of the earnings their groups make) and become so greedy that they’d want to pressure the members to renew their contracts. 

6) Having said all that, I want to emphasize that even if you personally advocate for turning away from Starship, you also shouldn’t make people feel ashamed for choosing to stay, and you should definitely also consider other viewpoints, or simply wait for more news to come up. I think it’s important that we have different discussions about this matter and share our thoughts, because that’s the best way for everybody to form their opinions, battle against misinformation and decide things for themselves. It’s also totally fine to change your opinion after more information comes up. I know these two weeks have been extra stressful and having to see fans clash against each other because we haven’t gotten answers to any of our questions must be scary, but do not become too discouraged. Nothing has happened yet. People trying their best to understand this entire situation and having differing views on how to proceed from here is not the end of the world, it’s just a sign that we have all come to a turning point and that we have all realized how much work needs to be done before kpop idols can have full autonomy, worker rights, freedom of expression and actual protection from harassment and bullying. 

Us discussing is a good thing, and I am still proud of every Monbebe for standing up, demanding answers and becoming a part of a societal and cultural shift. I am still proud of your efforts to understand this situation and sharing your thoughts and engaging in activism for not just Wonho, but other idols as well. I am still proud of you all reaching out and finding community in each other. And even though I said earlier people might have legitimate reasons to think their money went to the hands of a cruel, thoughtless and capitalist company and therefore consider backing off for a while, there is still absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that you still want to support Monsta X members financially, as long as it lasts. 

We all want Wonho back, and we all want good things to happen to every single member of Monsta X. All those things can still happen, no matter what we will decide to do in the meantime. And no matter what, our love and empathy for all of them will carry through all these struggles and bring them to a better time, whether that will be in or outside of Starship. And we can also quite safely assume their friendship and love for one another is so strong that we will witness them gathering together again and again, even twenty years from now. 

[buckysforeverprincess]

What Do You Want From Me? Ch 17

Lance Tucker, OFC Claire

Words: 2024

Warnings: Language

A/N: Let’s see what happens when Claire comes calling. Enjoy!

The knock on his door was expected. He knew she'd come when he called, and he knew she'd wait until the morning to do so thinking she was doing it on her own terms. The fact is, Lance knew her type; pegged her from the beginning. That's the very reason he one and doned her. Come to think of it...that's why he did it to them all.  

Lance came out the womb wooing the ladies. His mother told him he had the attention of every single female nurse in the labor and delivery unit. Mama Tucker never saw it as a problem, so Lance didn't either. When he became a gymnast, his moves continued to draw the ladies in and it never stopped. He relished in the female attention and used it to his advantage. Lance knew he could have anyone he wanted, and when fame came calling...so did the beautiful women with ugly personalities. That was his type. The women who knew they could have anyone they wanted. The ones that weren't wifey material. All they wanted was to fuck, party, and have a good time. The one nighters he chose were the ones that normally let men do the walk of shame in the morning. Lance was smooth enough to turn the tables on each one of them. He never thought it would bite him in the ass later.

Lance opened the door to see Claire standing there with a huge shit eating grin plastered to her face.

“Miss me?” She blew him a kiss and he just rolled his eyes.

“Why, of course I did! Please, come in.” His tone was sarcastic, but he let her in nonetheless.  

Claire entered his house and walked right into the living room throwing her jacket and purse on the couch. What was it with these women acting like they own his house, throwing their shit around? Clearly, they have no regard for the cleanliness of his home.

“So, you changed your mind?” Claire asks him, ego bursting at the seams.

“About that…tell me why? Why go through this elaborate scheme just to get to me? Surely I'm not worth ruining so many people's lives.”

She shrugs her shoulders and plops herself down on his couch, patting on the cushion next to her. Lance walks over but decides to sit on the ottoman at the end of the couch instead, trying to put as much distance as he could between them without seeming uncomfortable.

“What makes you think this was a scheme?” She licks her lips almost predatorily, and he knew what she was after. He'd have to be a little smarter if she was going to talk.

“You've won! She's marrying him…told me last night. Whatever it is you have on Jase, it doesn't matter anymore, but if you want to claim your prize, you have to tell me why?!” Lance leans himself back and opens his legs, looking very inviting, trying to get the woman to tell him what he wants to know.

“Because Lance…you and I are alike. We always get what we want, consequences be damned, and I know we could be very good for each other; unstoppable! Let's also not forget the amazing sex! There's nothing we couldn't do for each other. We could lay the world at our feet!”  

Lance breaks out in an uncontrollable laugh. Claire does not look impressed, glaring at him with murder in her eyes.

“Seriously Claire, you talk like this is world domination!” He continues to laugh, “like we'd be trending on twitter…hashtag Lance and Claire domination tour!”

Her expression doesn't change, and she still looks like she's going to kill someone.

“We are perfect for each other! Better for you than Y/N!” Claire yells with a fiery passion.

“You ever heard that opposites attract? Maybe that's why I fell for her?” He remains calm, trying not to feed into her anger.

“Cute, perfect, annoying, Y/N!”

Lance almost cringes when she says your name this time.

“She's weak! She could never tame you…you're too wild and need someone just as dominate as you!”

“So that's what this is about? I mean, she was just my PA! It's not like she had a direct line to my bed!”

It's mostly the truth. It only happened one time. But had things been different, Y/N would have been there permanently.

“You never gave me a second chance. Just fucked me and moved on!”

Lance looks at her in disbelief, “It's called a one-night stand. That's what you do!” He's shaking his head, pissing off the woman even more.

“What makes her better than me?!” Claire yells, demanding an answer.

Lance stands up and walks to his window, looking out into the beauty of the day. “She's everything I'm not.” He says softly, never looking back at Claire.

“I can be everything you need.” Claire says walking up behind him, placing her hands around his waist.

Lance closes his eye at her touch, it's not the intimacy he wants. Claire's not Y/N!

“Why Jase?” He hasn't stopped her from touching him, nor has he turned to face her. “And don't say it's because of his lifestyle. Everyone knows he's into BDSM.  I've seen him at the club, engrossed in a scene. That's not a reason to blackmail!” Lance throws it in her face.

He's a dominant too, and occasionally goes to the club when he's in desperate need of a submissive. It's been awhile since he's had a scene.

Claire chuckles at Lance, “no, that's not all. Just a small part. I chose him because he's got more to lose. He was raised by his aunt and uncle and he's honestly a good guy.”

She puts her head on Lance’s back, using her hands to rub on his torso. “His uncle is the governor, and he's not squeaky clean.”

Lance scoffs, “what politician is?”

Claire chuckles right back, “right, but he's been taking bribes; specifically, from my dad's company. I only stumbled on the knowledge and I'm sure there's more, but I really don't care. Jase would do anything to protect the people that raised him, so….”

Lance can't believe she just disclosed all that information, but also can't believe that her jealousy drove her to ruin so many people's lives.

“So, you blackmailed him into dating her? You really wanted her away from me that bad?” He keeps his tone calm, so she doesn't catch on to how seething mad he is inside.

“She's been in love with you for a long time. I needed her to focus on someone else...to forget about you.”  

There are still so many questions and not enough answers. He really must be careful how he handles things right now. Lance needs to know everything.

“My kids? How do my children factor in your plan?”

Claire moves her head and starts kissing his back. God! The shit he's enduring just to get the truth out of her is infuriating him to no end.

“Casualties of war. Jase will be a good father to them and they'll grow up with the best of everything. Face it Lance, you never wanted kids anyway. We all remember Maggie!”  

It's taking everything for him to not smack the shit out of her, but he just can't. He has to hold on a little longer.

Lance turns around and faces her, “so is that everything? Anything I missed? All this blackmailing is because you feel entitled and jealous? You're not only destroying Y/N’s life and my twins, but also Jase’s entire family including his governor uncle just because you want to be in a relationship with me? Now that I said that out loud, that's one big stupid risk you just took!” Lance begins to laugh, “you set up all these people over some stupid jealous crush! Oh my god, that's the fucking worst!”  

Claire starts to slowly back away from him and moves back to the couch and sits down, watching him laugh his ass off.

“Wait…,” Lance tried to catch his breath, “I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me, I apologize.” He looks sincere in his apology.

“Maybe it wasn't the smartest plan…,” she looks at him and he can see how uneasy she has now become, “but would you have even looked my way if I didn't do this?!” Claire has once again raised her voice to get her point across.

Lance can't believe he's lowering himself to care right now. Claire is showing true emotion over the situation, but the whole thing is rather ridiculous to him. Blackmail, deceit, and lies are all she's good at. He really wants no part of this; just wants his life back.  

He makes his way over to where she's seated on his couch and kneels in front of her.

Lance places a hand on her knee in a sign of affection and gives her a soft smile.

“Honestly Claire, I don't really like the person I was. What I was doing, how I was treating women...that's not right or fair. But I did it, and I can't take it back. What I can do is change into something better. That's what I've been trying to do. Maybe it's time you change too.”  

Claire scrunches her face and her breathing becomes hard and fast, and Lance knows she's angry again.

“No!” She yells out and he stands up and begins backing away from her. “You don't get it Lance! I don't want to change and honestly neither do you!”

The angry woman stands up and heads straight towards him, getting up in his face. “If you don't give me what I want, I'll make life fucking miserable for Y/N and your kids! Jase will do what I tell him to just to make sure his family is protected! I'll make you regret ever saying no to me!”

This is a new development. Claire's threatening Y/N and the twins if he doesn't do what she wants. If he gets out of this with minimal damage he promises to convert to Buddhism. God, she’s all kinds of mentally unstable.  

“Look. I'm not saying no…,” he softly grabs her hand and holds them in his, “but right now, I have a meeting with my agent.”

Lance lets her go and walks to the couch, grabbing her things and placing them in her hands.

“I could go with you!”

Claire just went from psycho angry to happily excited. Nope! Not even a little bit.

“Meeting with my agent is a me thing. I don't ever take anyone else. You know…,” he begins walking her to the door to see her out, “maybe we could talk about this more later and maybe I could be your date for the wedding?”

Lance tries to sound as smooth as possible, so she doesn't expect and ulterior motives.

“You won't try anything?” Claire sounds a little suspicious of his sudden change of heart.

The man just shakes his head, “she doesn't want me. Y/N is dead set on marrying Jase. Maybe for me to move on and let her go, I just have to see her do it first.”  

Claire accepts his explanation and decides it's good enough for her, “fine…but if you try anything, I'll make sure Jase moves them far away from here! Understand?”

He nods at her in agreement, and she leans in and places a quick kiss to his lips. “I'll talk to you later!” The she devil walks out the door and to her car with a little more pep in her step.  

Lance watches her leave his driveway, never moving from his door. Once her sees her car hit the main road, he heads straight for the kitchen sink and pours himself a handful of dish soap and rubbing it all over his mouth, trying to wash away any traces of the kiss she just gave him.

When he's finished he looks at his phone and checks an app, making sure everything is in place for his next stop. Grabbing his keys and his wallet he heads out the door.  

“Stupid bitch will learn not to fuck with me!”

[hirakdesherrani]

EBSS 24-28 June:

Okay, first off, I just have to hand it to the writers for covering so much ground in a span of 5 episodes. Was it rushed? Yes, for sure. But it was so, so good. Not on a single count of writing, did I feel dissatisfied. Star Plus has been ruthless, ordering a revamp so soon (ram jaane what trp they expected on this slot, esp. during the WC), but writers did an incredible job under so much pressure.👏 Its been a while I’ve been so impressed with the writing of a show, and I’m not going to stop gushing about it so soon. 

Anyways, here are some scattered thoughts:

What a longgggg, and exhausting day it has been for Kabir, from parting with his wife and son, to finding out that his Dad is a shitty human being, to saving his Dad from burning to ashes, to finding himself and his family homeless, boy has been having a tough time, all within 24 hours. 😓

Initially, I was mighty annoyed that instead of giving us Kabir v/s Jahnvi, they started with the good bahu v/s bad bahu crap. Though happy about the revamp, I was curious about how will the writers manage to bring Kabir into the picture? And they did it quite smoothly. So, obviously good bahu Kavya has to poke her nose everywhere, but of course, Jahnvi can’t have that. So, she gets her out of the way, without doing anything really, because Kavya, like an idiot, has to stalk Jahnvi. Toh ab bhugto. I ain’t feeling bad for that girl. 😈

A lot of people felt it was wrong on Jahnvi’s part to frame Kavya, esp. considering she has been shown so concerned for Aarush. But the thing is, Jahnvi prizes her revenge above everything else, so it was obvious from the start, that Aarush would get hurt somewhere down the line. Will Jahnvi regret it in future? That remains to be seen. 

Coming back, by framing Kavya, the writers managed to involve Kabir as well as, provide a dignified exit for Kavya. I loved the parting scene of Kabir-Kavya, surprisingly really, that by the time I like them, its too late. What I liked most, was Kabir insisting on leaving the house with Kavya, with their heads held high. Kavya already has the reassurance that Kabir trusts her, but Kabir didn’t want Kavya’s departure from the house under a cloud of accusation. He was so concerned for her respect. And that has made Kabir my most favorite male lead in the last five years, right after Asad. I just love male leads who can take a stand for females. Especially, in this case, because Kabir isn’t in love with Kavya, but he knows his duties as a husband, and friend. 😍

Kavya’s departure also seemed sensible. Even without Jahnvi framing her, PK didn’t lose an opportunity to humiliate her. The kind of asshole he is, I don’t ever see PK accepting Kavya. I’m glad she actually moved away from the shitty Mittal household, more so for Aarush, at least bachcha bach gaya. But I’ll miss baby Aarush. 😔

Now that his wife and friend was framed, obviously Kabir has to investigate, and it was the most natural transition from Kavya to Kabir as the protagonist (like it should have been from the start). I just loved how Kabir proceeded with it. The investigation, esp. the scene where he fools Amma with the microchip, was so sleek. The writers remembered that he’s a special agent, and I do assure you, its a rarity by ITV standards. 

Another thing I’d like to highlight is that Kabir doesn’t lose his head through allllllll the shit that’s been happening. Why? Obviously, because he is an army man, and they are trained to deal with pressurized situations. The writers underlined this fact very subtly, I don’t even know if viewers caught on. After all that has transpired, Kabir was still being patient and  composed when he was talking to Pooja. 

Which brings me to Jahnvi/Pooja.....I love her so much. I think the best thing about Jahnvi is that she is so unforgiving. YAS! We need more female characters, esp. female leads who are unforgiving. Tellywood has innumerable times reinforced this idea of a kind and forgiving, farmabaddar, female lead. After Maya (of Beyhadh), thankfully this trend is changing. I am so, so glad that Jahnvi tried to immolate PK, and even gladder of the fact, that not just the perpetrators, but she punished junior Mittals too, in a way. It might seem unfair, but c’mon, they are grown up, educated adults who had a good childhood, and they can fend for themselves, unlike Pooja and Rani who lost their father, their childhood, and would have suffered a worse fate if Amma had not adopted them. Bless Amma, one of the best parental figures in ITV rn. 🤧

Was Jahnvi’s plan rushed? Hella yes. But there are two things here, first with Manohar, and then Kavya/Kabir, Pooja has had two close shaves. Even if she framed Kavya, Kabir was sure to find the truth. So, obviously she had to expedite her plan. Secondly, Jahnvi has been working on her plan for at least two years, I’m presuming, entering PK’s company as an employee, gaining his favor and trust on her skills over even his own son, then marrying into the family and gaining their trust. For the audience, the show is only two months old, but from the point where the show started, Jahnvi has already spent quite a few years reaching up till this stage, so she can’t delay anymore, especially with the chances of her cover being blown increasing. 

The plan seemed too simple, but the thing is, PK was going to read the papers. For Jahnvi to avoid that, she needed two things, his unflinching trust, which she had gained over the years, and second, a pressure situation, where he can be distracted easily. I’d say finding out about a supposed arch enemy, threatening your rebellious son, and your Dad being paralyzed post a heart attack, can be pretty stressful.

Obviously Jahnvi could have lured him to a shady place and burnt him long ago, but she needed to ruin him and his family completely. So, getting the papers signed was a priority. 

I think this is where the best part comes. OUFFFF Shrenu was so good in the scene burning down that house. The transition from pain and hurt, to resolve and anger, and deathly calm after she did the act. Terrific! 🔥 In the same episode, Zain and Ayub were great too.

Kabir’s motivations are so clear. He is the good cop, upholding what is right and just. Obviously he saved his Dad, because he is a son after all, but right next moment he threatened his father, in a non-negotiable tone, that he better surrender himself to the law. 

And here we have the clash of values. While Pooja follows her own law, i.e. Hammurabi’s code of eye for an eye, Kabir staunchly believes in law and justice. I really liked that he restrained Dhruv, when Pooja ridiculed him, because he understood Pooja’s motivations and maybe even sympathized with her on some level. 

It was a little thick of PK to shout at Dhruv and blame him for marrying Jahnvi, when he was the one who trusted Jahnvi the most in the family, and even ridiculed his son, and thanked the stars that his son was lucky enough to marry someone like Jahnvi. Hmpf.

About Dhruv’s actions, I’ve already mentioned in another post, so moving on to Pooja. I am so glad that she broke off the relationship. Why was it surprising to anyone that she had never married him for real? I thought it was obvious. I mean, she wasn’t going to really marry a guy, in the legal sense, for the sake of revenge. That too, the son of her enemy. I was so glad when she said, “Mere kareeb aane ki koshish mat karna”. Throughout the two months of the show, they’ve shown us Jahnvi’s discomfort when Dhruv comes near, even though she did feel guilty sometimes about using him. Imagine her relief to be finally rid of him. Agreed, she should not have ridiculed him like that, but there is no polite way of telling a person that “you are a dumbfuck and I used you for my revenge.” What annoyed me were the reactions on Twitter condemning Pooja for humiliating Dhruv, and insisting that JanRuv should be endgame, because ‘Dhruv loves her so much’. I mean, what sort of shitty male entitlement is this? More so, because it is propagated by female stans. 

Anyways, coming back to the climax of this drama, SHRENU WAS PHENOMENAL. The transition from rage to mockery to a business-like voice telling the shitty Mitals to gtfo was so well done.👏 Esp. the moment, when she drills into their heads that ‘folks, that car ain’t yours, leave it’, I cackled so bad! 😂

I absolutely loved this week’s episodes. Only thing is, Imma gonna miss my shady Jahnvi Mittal. Shrenu was at her best with her micro-expressions and transitions, and I’ve never seen a more perfect casting on Star Plus in the past few years. No one else, and I mean it, no other actress on ITV rn can play Jahnvi Mittal, cuz no one has the calibre of micro-expressions that Shrenu does. 💜

But I’m ready for the open fight. Zain was so good this week, this show finally giving him what he’s capable of. Bring it on! 

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x07 Chapter Seven

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) It’s nice to get a little more backstory to their first kiss.

NARRATOR: Unfortunately, as Jane described their magical talk, Xo had the distinct impression that…

XIOMARA: He sounds like a playboy, hon.

JANE: I know. I know. He seemed like he would be, but he wasn't.

JANE: He seemed so sincere.

XIOMARA: That's what makes a good playboy. You never feel like you're getting played.

Of course, this was before the cancer, the marriage, Petra’s miscarriage (I’m assuming it was a miscarriage, although this being a telenovela, it could have easily been a fake pregnancy, we’ll see…), and everything that has happened since the show started. Rafael was a different person then, and so was Jane. She seemed to be much more naïve and gullible back then.

The part I’m not buying, though, is how they managed not to run into each other for over 4 years? Like, she was working at the hotel he owned, wasn’t there any awkward encounters like EVER? The show definitely makes it sound as if they had gone by almost five years without seeing or talking to each other…

2) I have to say, I’m with Xiomara and with the stop sign on this one…

It does seem a bit rushed for them to get together, especially considering all the special circumstances that brought them into each other’s lives. And I’m sorry if I’m raining on the shippers’ parade, but they barely know each other? It seems they’re more in lust than in love, and the whole “meant to be” thing is more “meant to be in your pants” than fate. I really hope the show makes me feel different about this because I do enjoy their interactions so far, I like them as characters, and I can see the chemistry there, but I also need some depth to their relationship, you know?

3) Okay, so Rafael showed up and asked her out, and they almost kissed but Jane told him she needed some time and space, which, yes, good for you. But I don’t see that time and space thing lasting too long for some reason…

4) I have a feeling Petra would like to switch places with Jane right now…

5) The fucking nuns are using Jane as a fucking fertility attraction or something. Without her knowledge.

6) Did you know that I love Rogelio?

7) We all know I’m not fond of Michael, but… he did ask Jane point blank if the breakup had anything to do with Rafael, and she lied. Even if there were things Michael did that contributed to her deciding to break up with him, Rafael had a lot to do with it as well. I guess she was trying to spare his feelings, but… she lied. And Michael lying to her was one of the reasons she was broke up with him, so… that’s a bit hypocritical Jane…

8) Rafael is being a bit too pushy for my liking…

RAFAEL: Have you had enough time? Ready to go on a date?

JANE: No. I came to ask a favor, actually, which is totally unrelated to our current situation.

RAFAEL: And what is our current situation?

The girl asked you for some time and space, and it’s been, what? 8 hours? Seriously?

9) OF COURSE, he’s going to be in the club and will continue to push things. That’s so not the way to go about this.

10) Now, these two? They really are meant for each other…

NARRATOR: What you are about to witness is two creatures who are inherently dramatic attempt to behave like they are - not dramatic.

11) Desperate times call for desperate measures…

MAGDA: We can't keep him here forever. We might have to consider…

PETRA: What?

MAGDA: I know people from the old country.They could take care of him for us.

PETRA: Mother, that's crazy!

MAGDA: It is realistic. Now, here are your options: You kill him or let him go, and risk Milos finding you and then you'll wish you were dead. Your choice.

I’m not sure Petra is capable of murdering someone. Magda, on the other hand…

12) AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13) Oh my god, is he twelve?!

JANE: Michael saw the flowers you sent, and he was so hurt it was awful.

RAFAEL: Jane, that wasn't my intention.

JANE: I know. But that's why I'm saying it's too soon.

RAFAEL: What, because of Michael?

JANE: Yes, because of Michael. We were engaged.I was I was about to marry him.

RAFAEL: I'm sorry. But, Jane, he's kind of been a jerk to me.

He’s acting like an entitled rich boy, isn’t he? He wants Jane so he must have her now, it doesn’t matter that she’s not completely comfortable and it doesn’t matter that she still cares about her ex-fiancé with whom she broke up a day ago! And how does he justify not caring about hurting Michael’s feelings or disregarding Jane’s feelings for Michael? “Ugh he was a jerk!”

I don’t like this side of Rafael, I hope he understands why this is wrong SOON.

14) OMG

JANE: Do you by any chance know my father?

15) And now he’s taking Jane’s request for time and space a little bit too seriously…

16) I LOVE ROGELIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

17) Get your shit together, dude…

Like, you want to date the girl who’s carrying your fucking baby, maybe don’t get salt licked by “a friend” right in front of her?

18) Well, it seems Petra has what it takes to be a murderer after all…

IVAN: Is that peanut sauce?

PETRA: I don't know. I just ordered chicken from room service.

IVAN: I have peanut allergy!

19) False alarm…

He even thanked her, that’s progress.

20) Hmmm, I’m not sold on how the show got Rafael to “refute” each single of Jane’s arguments. They simply have different points of views, and both of their arguments are valid. The most important one, however, is the fact that they clearly don’t know each other very well. It’s one thing to start dating someone who you don’t know very well under regular circumstances. That’s basically what we all do, that is literally how you get to know someone and find out whether you can have a meaningful relationship with them or not. But… Jane is fucking pregnant with Rafael’s baby… so the dating thing could potentially backfire in the worst possible way, and even if they intend to “put the baby first”, they cannot be sure that’s what they’ll do once their hearts are broken and there’s resentment or bad blood.

21) I guess I was wrong when I said Jane had a good head on her shoulders…

I’m sorry but I’m so not into this. It really feels like they’re in lust, and that’s just not my thing.

22) Rafael’s mom is totally going to come back, right?

23) Yeah, that whole “conversation that goes on forever”? I get it, I’ve had those. But it feels the writers are trying to fast-forward the most meaningful part of a relationship, the getting-to-know-each-other part, the slowly falling in love with someone as you learn more and more about them. It just happened overnight for Jane and Rafael.

I feel like I should like them, like I should be falling for them as they fall for each other, but it seems too… contrived. I’m not into it…

24) Oh, Petra, you deceitful SOB! You got me!

MAGDA: That was smart. Seeing his bracelet. You've earned his trust.

NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the classic "poison your hostage and then save him to earn his trusts" technique. Works every time.

MAGDA: I hope the rest of your plan works as smoothly.

What is the rest of her plan, though?

25) ROGELIO STOPPPPPPPPP

26) And now I feel sorry for Michael? What is this episode doing to me?

27) Oh, this trick again, Petra… it didn’t work with Rafael, though…

I’m guessing he’s going to sleep with her and not give her the money, to get back at her because of how she fooled him before…

28) rrrrrogELIOOOOOOOOOOOO

RAFAEL: Who are you?

ROGELIO: I am Jane's father.

RAFAEL: Oh, uh Oh, uh, it's nice to meet you, Sir.

ROGELIO: I wish I could say the same. Jane's mother was worried all night.

RAFALl: Oh, I am so sorry. We-we just kind of…

ROGELIO: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know your game. I used to be just like you. Ridiculously good-looking, with charisma, with swagger, notching girls onto my belt.

RAFAEL: No, that's-that's not what's happening

ROGELIO: I have had sex with a lot of women. Way more than you, I'm sure!

RAFAEL: I am sure that that's true.

ROGELIO: But Jane is different. Jane is special. Remember that. Or face the consequences.

29) “Deferred payment plan.” Yep, you’re not going to see that money, Petra…

30) Nope. I don’t like this, at all.

XIOMARA: And you're not me, Jane. You make smart choices, sensible choices.

JANE: Exactly. Because I was always scared of repeating your mistakes. And, mom, I'm just realizing, because of that, I've been afraid to take risks. Real risks.

XIOMARA: You've been smart.

JANE: I've been safe. And I'm gonna be a mom. And moms put their kids first. You know that better than anyone. So this is my last chance I get to follow my heart. Do what I want. And, yeah, maybe the timing isn't perfect, but I want to be with Rafael. He's a good guy.

There’s nothing wrong with being safe, especially when you’re having a baby. And I really don’t get Jane’s logic here? “I’ve been safe my whole life and afraid of taking risks so now that I’m having a baby and will put it first is the best time to take risks”? Maybe don’t? Especially if you’re taking a chance with the father of your baby who you barely know and you could potentially ruin your relationship as parents and therefore create an unhealthy environment for your child just because you had a whim and you were hot for the guy?

I know that I’m probably in the minority here and everyone loves Rafael and Jane, but I’m just super NOT into this. It feels too sudden?

I just hope the show somehow manages to change my perception of them, idk.

31) If anything, Jane’s and Rafael’s recklessness has helped Xiomara and Rogelio become the grown-ups, so I’m thankful for that. They’re still over-dramatic and ridiculous, but they’ve proven they can adult like the best of them if the situation calls for it.

32) …well, for the most part…

33) I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

I ship this more than I ship Rafael and Jane hahaha!

34) Okay…

I’m totally indifferent to this. *shrugs*

35) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[otome-reviews]

My Wedding and 7 Rings: Asahi Route Review [SPOILERS]

Once upon a time, I naively thought that Eisuke’s route in Kissed by the Baddest Bidder was the worst I’d ever have the misfortune of reading. Well, my friends. I’m delighted (?) to inform you that we have a new winner, in the the form of Asahi and his blood pressure-raising route.

Let’s start from the top, shall we? MC works for Sanno Corp, a conglomerate run by an affable CEO (aka her unknown/secret grandfather), who passes away. In his final days, he arranges for MC’s future “happiness” on her behalf, by setting up a Marriage Program for MC to pick a husband and future CEO among six up-and-coming male employees (no women allowed??). Instead of, you know, giving MC leadership training while he was alive so she could try being CEO herself like a proper loving grandfather, or something...

Anyways, MC is conned into signing a contract agreeing to the Marriage Program, while being told it’s paperwork for the company’s MVP award, by the shady interim CEO. Long story short, if she fails to find a husband before a year is up, the company will be forced to dissolve without a CEO, and she’ll be forced to pay everyone’s severance pay. So... I don’t know what the rules and regulations surrounding contracts are in Japan, but I can’t imagine that this'd hold up in court? There was a whole auditorium’s worth of people who could testify that MC was pressured into signing, after all. And according to Google, severance pay isn’t required in Japan if a company can’t continue its business due to “unavoidable circumstances” -- such as, say, an asshat ex-CEO who set up a terrible program for his granddaughter instead of getting to know her like a normal person?!

Anyways, because there is something seriously wrong with MC, she picks Asahi, aka very obviously the rudest of the bunch, to be her first marriage candidate during a month-long trial period. Asahi is a rich, privileged, and entitled douchebag who doesn’t understand poor/middle class people. He thinks he’s God’s gift to womankind because he’s handsome. And although MC is the one who holds all the cards as, you know, the person who picks the next CEO, he doesn’t hesitate to order MC around constantly (“Don’t do anything without my say-so!”), insults her, and regularly compares her to a pet dog. Ugh.

Oh, and he tries to have nonconsensual sex with her. TWICE. His rationale, after MC manages to ward him off? “This is the first time a girl has rejected my advances!” ...That doesn’t excuse shit, you asshole. And to top it all off, unlike other characters under the douchey alpha male trope who stop insulting MC halfway through, Asahi doesn’t really ever quit (“Plain IS your specialty.” - Episode 10 out of 13).

( ^this would’ve been a lovely CG if it were consensual >( )

All that alone is already enough to make me hate Asahi, and his route, quite passionately. But it gets worse. Throughout the entire story, Asahi forces MC to help him with a project to revitalize a Japanese village by bringing European luxury brands into the village and turning it into a tourist destination (weird, but sure, let’s roll with it). MC is Asahi’s assistant, but in reality, she is the only reason why the project even manages to succeed:

When Asahi rudely rejects a petition containing the villagers’ concerns about the project, MC is the one who listens to their complaints. And then Asahi gets PISSED at her for acting independently, and rips up the petition (!!) (“You’ll understand someday. Money and power are all that matter”). Douche doesn’t even begin to cover it. Psychopath?!

After a deal with a French CEO falls through due to Asahi’s evil half-brother’s meddling, MC and Asahi encounter a lost crying kid. MC wants to help the kid, Asahi wants to get the police to deal with it and call it a day. He’s super rude about it. But surprise surprise, said kid turns out to be the French CEO’s son, and that is the only reason why the Frenchman even gives Sanno Corp a chance. Without MC’s kindness, the project would’ve failed. Utterly. Because Asahi is an incompetent little shit.

The townspeople are upset over traditions being thrown out the window, and because MC’s the only person who ever listened to their concerns, she’s the one who comes up with the idea of embracing these old traditions even as they introduce new Western elements to the town’s stores, and mixing old with new. There is no way entitled little rich kid Asahi would’ve been able to come up with this on his own.

So what happens at the end of the route, you ask? Surely MC gets rewarded professionally for her excellent people skills and business acumen? HAH...don’t make me laugh. Here’s what happens:

MC writes an excellent project proposal as a last ditch effort, which Asahi utterly ignores because he went off to do his own thing regarding the deal. He praises MC, but who gives a shit? Words are cheap. I want actual, tangible, career success for MC.

The Frenchman announces, in a news conference, that he’ll be making a deal with Sanno Corp, and demands to work, more specifically, with his good friend Asahi. Um, excuse me, but WTF?!?!? Who was the one who helped his kid, again? Who was the one who came up with the proposal in the first place? Way to devalue a woman’s work and let another man get all the credit, dude! This makes me so mad asdfhqkjdhqfqdjfsh

Most annoyingly, Asahi presumably gets to be the next CEO, since MC obviously chooses him. Despite the fact that he’s so bad with people it’s unfathomable how he even got to where he was before he met MC...

This whole saga, with MC’s efforts and kindness being brushed aside/unrecognized, and the useless Asahi reaping the rewards of all of MC’s hard work, really really boiled my blood. As a working woman with ambitions, the whole work subplot represents many of my greatest fears regarding sexism in the professional workplace. It was, in a way, even more infuriating than Asahi’s romantic shittiness, because despite being ridiculous and unrealistic, everything still felt allll too fucking real.

After my extended rant regarding Eisuke a while back, several people pointed out that Eisuke’s character evolution over the course of many stories is what makes him truly great. I’m a little dubious, to be very honest, but I can respect that. But as for Asahi? IMHO this little dipshit doesn’t deserve future character evolution. He’s already used MC for professional success! He doesn’t get to just waltz in and reap the rewards of “becoming a better man” due to MC’s hard work and effort. What does MC even get out of this whole deal?? A good, rich man who loves her!? Yeah, no thanks. She could’ve gotten that from one of the many other less douchey love interests, probably without all this wasted emotional labor.

At the end of the day, Asahi and his route embodies several tropes/fantasies that I understand are very popular (and maybe even more popular in Japan, I wouldn’t know), and I can’t blame Voltage for catering to their audience (and even, perhaps, to you, the reader). He’s rich, he’s an “alpha male,” yadda yadda...I get it. But it’s definitely not a trope for me, and even less so given that whole crappy work thing. So. To reiterate, this has been the single most infuriating route I’ve had the displeasure of reading, to date. And because I strongly believe Asahi does not deserve to improve at the cost of MC’s suffering and sacrifice, I have no plans to give any of his sequels a chance. >(

(If this review actually made you want to check out Asahi’s route, my apologies - the free promotion has long since ended. But you can still enjoy (?) the story on Voltage’s Love365 app using coins!)

Choice quotes: “Aren’t you going to say, ‘I’m leaving for work, master’ on your way out?” “I’m leaving for work... you naked fathead!” “If you’re waiting for the day I take orders from you, 100 years won’t be enough.”

Personality: 1/10 Asahi is a rude asshole who lacks empathy and doesn’t know his damn place. He is such a rich douchebag stereotype.

Appearance: 8/10. Unfortunately.

MC: 6/10. I liked MC’s sass and work ethic, but she has terrible taste in men and is way too happy about the tiny breadcrumbs of kindness Asahi occasionally throws at her.

Plot/Payoff: 0/10. Horrifying for a working woman. >(

Personal enjoyment: 0/10. No

Masterlist

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

[aint-ashes]

Let’s talk about Eugene: Chapter 2

I’m back! If you were in agony waiting for this chapter, I apologize for taking so long. I hope this is worth the wait. Fair warning: it’s p long. Here goes nothing:

At the start of season 6, Eugene has cleared the air both with himself and with Abraham, having apologized for lying to him and thanking him for his help. Eugene’s character definitely has an air of new beginnings: season 6 is a clean slate. It’s also one of the most exciting development arcs that Eugene undergoes.

But before we delve into that, there’s an important question that needs to be addressed: what has Eugene lost?

In the last post, I broke down the moments that exposed Eugene’s lie to himself: that he is a coward. After saving (or making decisions with the intent to save) the entire run team from Alexandria, we saw Eugene undergo a critical change. We saw him leave the coward behind and become the survivor that was in him all along.

We know a bit of what he’s gained from seeing himself clearer, but he was telling this lie to himself for a reason. So, what did the coward act do for him?

For one, living in fear has kept him on his toes. It’s kept him painstakingly alert to his surroundings. It’s kept him alive. Although we don’t see Eugene until post-outbreak, I can only assume that he survived by hiding, running, and/or relying on more capable people. What I know is that he did not survive by fighting. Cowardice was his handgun, his crossbow, his sword.

Our own nature is one of the hardest things to change about ourselves. We often warn others about it: I’m grumpy in the mornings, I’m awful at keeping secrets, I’m bad at expressing my emotions, it’s just who I am. That explanation—or excuse—allows us to accept these imperfections in ourselves, and leaves it up to others to behave accordingly: don’t talk to her in the mornings, don’t trust him with secrets, don’t expect her to be sympathetic, that’s just who they are. If others don’t behave accordingly, well, however you behave toward them is their fault. You warned them. That’s how we tend to cope with these faults.

And this is exactly what the Coward did for Eugene. Considering himself a coward entitled him to act in cowardly ways. Ways that he wouldn’t naturally be okay with. It also made it easier to not be disappointed in himself when he resorted to such acts—he could always tell himself that’s just who he is.

But, there are times when we see a crack in this façade. Take 4x15, for example, when Eugene leads Rosita to the other side of the tunnel to save Glenn and Tara. When Rosita calls him a liar for leading her astray, Eugene says: “Nope. I never said otherwise.”

When she insists that their priority is getting Eugene to safety, he says: “after I save the world, I still have to live with myself.”

Not only do I appreciate the beautiful irony of this entire exchange, filled to the brim with both lies and truths, but I also recognize how much it tells us about Eugene—that no matter how he tries to defend himself, even he isn’t sold on this act being justified, neither the scientist act (the lie he told others), nor the coward act (the lie he told himself).

He knows that there are consequences to his lies, and that they directly affect others’ lives. And he knows that’s not okay, which is why he tries to minimize that impact. But he still allows a total of nine people to die in the vain belief that he could save lives if they were willing to risk theirs.

When Eugene admits to his lie in 5x5 (“Self Help”), it was at the culmination of these deaths and the close call of nearly killing five more of his friends in the church bus. It was in the heat of a moment that all his guilt, everything that he was carrying on his shoulders, finally burst forth. After a long internal struggle with the justification of this lie, Eugene could no longer accept that that’s just who he is.

Aside from the joke within the episode, I think the title “Self Help” says a lot about what’s going on with Eugene in that episode. The coward-and-scientist double-act was a form of self-help at the expense of others, obviously, but coming clean and facing himself for the first time was also self-help. By taking that first step toward giving up the coward, he took the first step toward becoming who he really is. Who he didn’t think he could be.

Up until “Spend”, Eugene valued in himself what he thought others would value in him—his knowledge. His ability to make things. He honed in on these skills in order to survive, just as we would cater our résumé to a specific job posting. But we see again and again that knowledge is not what Eugene admires in other people—it’s loyalty, it’s bravery, it’s sacrifice. And once he casts the coward aside, he is able to focus on these qualities in himself.

But I digress. Long story short: the Coward kept him alive. The Survivor allowed him to live with himself. Keep that in mind, because we’ll come back to this in season 7.

I want to talk about season 6 Eugene! I’m going to cover 6x1 to 6x7 in this chapter. It might be a bumpy ride, so please fasten your seatbelts and hold on to your mullets. It’ll be fun, I promise!

In 6x1, Eugene’s most important moment is seeing Tara awake and well. He rushes to her bedside, speechless, smiling. He’s not about to brag that he saved her, but he is seeing a direct consequence of his actions. He stepped up, he faced his fears, and this moment of walking through the door and seeing her awake (“holy shit,” he says) makes every second that he was afraid worth it.

Being brave paid off. He did it, and it mattered. Tara’s alive, Tara’s awake, Tara’s okay. And the fact that he was able to save her the same way that she’d saved him so many times must feel so, so good. We can see it plain and clear on his face.

And Eugene’s probably not thinking about it then, but the fact remains that those nine people died on the journey to keep him alive—and saving someone as good, loyal, and brave as Tara is the beginning of his post-apocalyptic life being worth something after that. He’s beginning to pay that debt back. He’s beginning to come into his own. Tara being alive is the sign he needed that he’s now on the right path. What a huge moment.

Aside from gracefully enduring a bit of humility (Denise’s comeback about whether or not he’s a doctor), 6x2 “JSS” is a pretty big episode for Eugene. He’s on screen for probably two minutes in total, but the lengths that his character travels in those two minutes is kind of amazing.

The Wolves begin their ambush on Alexandria while Eugene is in the infirmary with Tara and Denise. When the truck crashes and the Wolves invade, it isn’t long before Aaron. Eric, and Rosita rush Holly inside. She is horribly wounded. They drop Holly off on the operating table, and everyone able-bodied rushes outside to fight the Wolves. Even Tara, who isn’t able-bodied, wants to help. Eugene, who is, does not. When Denise tells Tara to stay and guard the infirmary, she does, reluctantly. Eugene insists:

“I also believe my services would be best rendered right very here.”

Okay. At this point, Eugene would be useless in a combat situation with other living people. His services are best equipped to the infirmary. But for the most part, this was a decision made in fear. You can see it in his face. I’m not convinced that if he had been anywhere else—in his own house, for example—that he would risk his life to get to the infirmary where he could best be of help to others.

Eugene will help because he can, but the offer isn’t selfless—he’s making a case to the others: I should stay inside. I should stay safe. Don’t make me risk my life with you. And, once again, his knowledge allows him to do that.

So he’s not ‘knight-in-shining-armor’ brave. Yet. Still, though the decision was fear-based, I don’t see it as cowardly, per say. Eugene doesn’t lock himself away. He doesn’t hide. He was allowed the grace of staying inside, and that’s as safe as he can get, so even with the threat imminent, he immerses himself in helping Denise to help Holly. And that’s it’s own kind of bravery. Remember, he’s in the transition between what he called stages one and two. He’s becoming a survivor. He’s not quite there yet.

Thank goodness that he was in the right place at the right time. Being in the infirmary allowed Eugene to be afraid, but still do something with the amount of courage he could muster up.

I’m afraid that if he had been hiding away alone somewhere, unable to do anything other than keep himself safe, it might set him back a few paces. Not only would he be more afraid, but possibly guilty. He might consider his bravery at the warehouse a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. In his self-criticism, he might slip back into his defensive mindset: just as I thought, I am a coward.

But he didn’t. The stars were aligned to move him forward.

While helping Denise during the attack, Eugene has a really important moment of self-awareness.

In her fear of being unable to save Holly, Denise falters and hesitates. She argues with Tara in an attempt to justify inaction by saying that she isn’t a surgeon, regardless of the fact that she had planned to be one. Tara won’t have it. She says:

“You’re afraid? I don’t care! Help her! Try! Help her!”

Still, Denise hesitates. That is, until Eugene steps up and says, on the verge of tears:

“You don’t want to be a coward. I know.”

There is so much packed into these two sentences: If you don’t step up now, you’ll regret it. You’ll hate yourself. I know, because I did.

I mean, honestly, Eugene has probably done the math at this point. He probably knows Holly’s chances of survival down to the hundredth of a percent. He probably knows it’s hopeless. But sometimes miracles happen. Sometimes people are safely reunited in walker-filled tunnels. Sometimes a small group of people can single-handedly take down a cannibal empire, gagged and bound.

Sometimes the coward steps up and saves lives. Sometimes a coward turns out to be a brave man, against all odds. And there’s a life on the line, so every hundredth of a percent chance that Holly can be saved is worth it.

Tara is brave, and she’s not the one holding Holly’s life in her hands. She’s right to tell Denise to try, but at this flustered moment, she’s being pretty aggressive. Because there’s a life on the line, she has no room or time to be understanding of Denise’s reservations.  

But Eugene understands. When he faces Denise, his voice is soft, calm albeit shaky, and filled to the brim with empathy.

Tara’s the one who brought Eugene to his feet when the church bus broke down. Now, he sees someone like him in need of the same help. This is Eugene’s own “I know it sucks and it’s scary, but it’s time to be brave.” And it’s his words that put Denise into action. His understanding. His bravery to admit that he was wrong, and to save someone from making the same mistake.

Several aspects of this episode propel Eugene toward the moment in which we see him next (6x7, “Heads Up”): Witnessing the death of Holly. Seeing the bodies in the streets when all is over and done with. Encouraging Denise to be brave. Being unable to help outside, or to defend himself if it had come to that. And this self-realization that he doesn’t want to be a coward, and that he has control over that.

With all of this weighing on his shoulders, Eugene attends weapons training with Rosita. He wants to learn to fight. He wants to be able to defend himself. He wants to be able to defend others. So he makes the decision. He takes his transition from stage one to two into his own hands.

He’s still hesitant and unsure of himself, however, and Rosita (as usual) is having none of it. When she asks him what he’s afraid of, Eugene says: “that would be dying.” She answers:

“Dying is simple, it all just stops. You’re dead. The people around you dying, that’s the hard part. Okay? ‘Cause you keep living knowing that they’re gone and you’re still here. What you should be scared of is living knowing that you didn’t do everything you could to keep them here.”

This is really Eugene’s first taste of the negative consequences of being a survivor. All he’s ever wanted is to stay alive, but I don’t think the price of that has ever really occurred to him. He’s felt guilty about those nine lives that were lost in the attempt to keep him safe, but he considered that a loss on their part—not on his.

But more and more, Eugene is considering these people his family. He is putting their well being on an equal level with, if not above his own. This is his first introduction to what Beth essentially said to Daryl: “When you care about someone, hurt is kind of part of the package.”

He doesn’t have to cope with that hurt, yet, but Eugene will carry that with him all the way to and through season 7.

In the next chapter, I’m gonna talk about Eugene’s tough welcome to stage two in episodes 6x8 (“Start to Finish”) through 6x16 (“Last Day on Earth”). 

I don’t have final exams to worry about anymore, so hopefully there won’t be as much of a time lapse between chapters. Please come back for more! I love talking about Eugene, but I love it even more when others love it too. xxx

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3