#achievement comes from motivation. from meaining. from something being worth doing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
There are dozens of funny blogs to kill time on Tumblr.
Text
yet another stream of consciousness post about how i'm doing nothing with my life and it #sux or whatever
#aspen tag#it's kind of. well. i don't know how to start this off without feeling self-aggrandizing#because as true as it is that a lot of my ego roots in intelligence it's not actually the point rn. it's barely even a part of it#like. achievement doesn't come from talent. achievement doesn't even necessarily come from skill at all#achievement comes from motivation. from meaining. from something being worth doing#and. idk. i'm a thinker. my mind's always moving towards something. there's a stream of thoughts and it never stops flowing#and it's just. i mean. i LIKE thinking for the sake of thinking. i really do#i like working things out in my head and looking stuff over just to get a better picture and doing it just because it's there and i can#but none of it is going anywhere. and i'd like to be going somewhere#the thing about falling out of habits is that they become absences so easily#and it sneaks up on you. all the things in your life that are now not#i like learning and creating and puzzling through something. i like trying new things in new ways and figuring it out as i go#i like diving headfirst into whatever i happen to be working on and just living in there for a while#i like a challenge and i like investing myself and i like engaging and complex and FUN#and i don't. do anything with that anymore#i don't have hobbies. i don't get out of the house. i don't really put passion towards anything regardless of if it's there for me to have#and it's not about wasted potential. it's not about having the skill or the aptitude or the resources or any of that shit#it's about how i LIKE doing itโ and i'm not. that's the point. that's the problem#it's just. draining. to feel like nothing in your head ever makes it into the world#if there was ever a throughline in my dissatisfaction it'd be insignificance#i have an untapped well of myself i'd so eagerly apply if i had a door or a key or any way to get it where it needs to go#but i don't. none of it seems to move anything#i don't know. i'm tired. that's all of it. distilled down into a pair of words far too simple for the weight they carry#well-worn track in the surface of my mind. every passing day the grooves deepen#and there could be a path outside of it. but i don't know how to make one#i don't know how to start. and isn't that every problem i've ever had in a nutshell#adhd! it's fantastic. i'm going nowhere and i've been going there for a long fucking while#and as far as i can tell i'll be going there for another while yet.#i guess that's all there is to it. or at least as much as i've got. i'm tired of being tired and i don't know where that leads me#but it doesn't really seem like i'm doing anything worth losing. so i might as well just let it do what it does
1 note
ยท
View note