#ace makes me want to bang my head against a wall

[oldirontender]

6:26 am, finally watched big world big adventures, was actually pretty cute!! dont think this is gonna be one of those movies that i ever rewatch but yeah!!! cute!!!! i want to shove my thumbs into ace’s eyes and watch him scream in pain

[bywons]

⋆ DOUBLE SHOT ESPRESSO — YJW

╰—— “ say you can't sleep? baby, i know, that's that me espresso ” — where jungwon still remembers the way to your heart

🪽 𝖾𝗑-𝖻𝖿! 𝗒𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗇 x 𝖿! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 g . 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝗈𝖿𝖿𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝖾𝗑𝖾𝗌𝟤𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 1855 𝒘𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗌 ! 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 ✦ ◞ CATALOGUE

๑´ ³`) ﾉ pls leave feedbacks if u liked it ♡ REBLOG !!

ib — espresso by sabrina carpenter ♡ for @okwonyo ’s celestial ballet event!

“jay?”, you pause your typing on the desktop, groaning as you massage your temples. “can you grab my usual drink from the cafeteria?”

“double shot espresso”, a mellow voice floats to you from the cubicle to your left, “am i right?”

“yeah, you're righ—”, wait. this doesn't sound like park jongseong. his voice is more serious, and besides you never had to repeat your order for jay. then whose voice is this? it sounds so familiar, so close. almost as if you know the face behind it.

you push your heels against the cold office floor, propelling yourself backward in your swivel chair, rolling away from your cubicle. it's dull, the atmosphere inside the office. the central AC cranked to the coolest setting, contributing to the dim lighting to make you squirm on your seat. outside, the sky is overcast, heavy with the promise of rain.

the wall separating you from the unknown man's cubicle, is now visible. behind it you can only see the outline of his black shirt, sleeves rolled up, fingers pretending to type.

“uhm”, you clear your throat, now just behind him, “you new here?”

“new to the office,” he finally spoke again, this time turning around in his chair, only to give you a heart attack, “but definitely not new to you.”

yang fucking jungwon. this cheeky bastard. you wish you could punch that sly smirk out of his face. the way his arms are crossed together with his head held high, eyes glinting with a mischievous hint while he holds his smirk on his lips.

is he trying to challenge you? but the last time you saw him was 5 months ago, in a desperate cry of getting you back in front of your apartment doorstep, with a bouquet of roses and baby's breath he bought in a rush. you had a hard time shooing him away that night. but then again jungwon is a fishy player, always at the node of your suspicion.

he has you banging your head against the wall, internally of course, yet again after 6 whole months.

jungwon leans back in his chair, head resting back, that teasing smile never leaving. this nonchalant asshole. "new job, same floor. didn't expect to see me, did you?”

“what do you want, jungwon?”, you try to keep your cool, arms crossed with a bored expression.

“ouch!”, he places a hand over his heart, pretending to be in pain— all the while having a smile attached, “jungwon? where's won? wonnie, my love? can we not do that?” what a drama queen.

you furrow your brows, a suspicious look casting over your face, “are you stalking me now?”

jungwon chuckles, sitting up straight in his chair, “stalking? no, i just happened to get a job here. pure coincidence.”

you narrow your eyes, not buying it for a second. “really? pure coincidence?”

“okay, maybe i pulled a few strings,” he admits, raising his hands in mock surrender. “but can you blame me? i missed you.”

“seriously, get out”, you whisper-scoff, loud enough for him to hear and frown. pushing your heels against the floor again, you return to your cubicle.

you cannot believe this man right now, did he actually stalk you enough to know your workplace? is he that desperate? heck, you can't even remember why you broke up with him in the first place. not with that pretty face of his following you to your cubicle, on his own swivel chair. and oh you can already predict his whines and horrific shenanigans to impress you back.

not to say, you do enjoy his company. he's a charming devil, always knowing how to make you laugh even when you don't want to. but you refuse to let him think he can just waltz back into your life without any consequences.

jungwon rolls his chair up beside yours, the wheels squeaking slightly. “ever since we've broken up, i can't sleep y/n. you're there in my dreams.”

you let out a chortle, loud enough to echo back to you, as you turn your head to jungwon— still laughing sarcastically. “i know, that's me, espresso. it's my kinda effect.”

“c’mon babe, let me have a chance to prove myself—”

“...i need to check this paperwork”, you stand up abruptly, collecting the messy papers filled with sticky notes all in a bunch and hurrying to the desk at the corner of the office.

before even putting the paperwork down on the desk, you feel his presence again beside you. he is speed, didn't waste a second of his time right after you broke up to show up at your door with your favourite plush toy he won at the claw machine in 5 minutes paired with his horrible guitar skills. to be very honest, you enjoy jungwon's antics. maybe even love it, he is an incredible person to be around. but he just can't be your hype boy, and you crave hype in your life.

you sigh, rummaging through the paperwork.

“remember our dance nights?”, you gasp at his sudden proximity, his lips nearly grazing the tip of your ears, the strong smell of his perfume ghosting all over. he moved a tad bit closer, the soft outline of his abs pressing gently against your back, “or the karaoke ones? or our late night swimming session? when have i ever bored you out, baby?”, his voice drops to a whisper.

thank god the office was empty, you don't how you would've explained your flustered face. you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, let them fly around, yang jungwon's going to mess up anyway. find some absurd antic of his to give you the ick and then you're gonna shoo him away again.

no more yang jungwon, no more headache, no more drama.

but what is life without a little drama? you've given the poor guy a fair chase of 6 months. he loves to chase hard to get, you love to play hard to get. it's a simple equation really, a match made in heaven. you can't deny the void you felt in your heart all these months when jungwon was away too. you were eager, longing, almost manifesting for his touch, for him to come back in your life.

and the universe listened, so you shouldn't complain now.

“i've been thinking of you, every day, every night”, his voice becoming huskier, now standing just behind. his fingers threaten to close in your waist; he plays with the fabric of your shirt.

“isn't that sweet?”, you reply, unable to move a muscle— you're under his spell, or is he under yours?

“i guess so,” he scoffs, “everything about you is sweet.” his hands finally close in around your waist, chin resting on top of your shoulder.

god, why aren't there any people in this office! it's only giving yang jungwon more courage to pull you closer, until your back pressed against his broad chest. a wave of nostalgia, dangerous for both of yet more for him. he has missed you, your touch, your voice, your daily espresso. god knows how bad he waited for this, again.

feathery lips brushing against the tip of your ears, a shiver down your spine. are you in for it again?

“why now?” you ask, exasperation creeping into your voice. “why after all these months?”

he takes a deep breath, his expression turning serious, arms tightening around you. “because i’ve had time to think. time to realise how much i screwed up and how much i miss you. i know it won’t be easy, but i'm willing to do whatever it takes.”

you shake your head, feeling the weight of his words but unwilling to give in just yet. “jungwon, we broke up for a reason. we both needed space and time to figure things out.”

“i know,” he says softly, turning you around. “and i've used that time to work on myself. i’ve changed, love. let me show you.”

you look into his eyes, searching for any hint of deception. but all you see is sincerity and determination. it’s the same look he had when you first fell for him.

a moment of bliss, before jungwon makes it even more euphoric. he pulls you in, in a long awaited kiss, lips desperately in search of the lost taste of espresso in yours. the bitter sweetness that he misses so hard. his hands grasp around your waist and pull you in closer, tongue running past your lips.

a bold move. all of this. a serious kiss with your ex on the first day of your new job? jungwon knows you like this type of bold.

“so..”, you pull away from the kiss, hands resting behind his neck, “...what now?”

“you still taste sweet,” jungwon lets out a breathy laugh, brushing his thumb against your lower lip, “just like i remember, like your double shot espresso.”

you can’t help but roll your eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “you and your cheesy lines, won. some things never change.”

“some things shouldn’t,” he retorts, his gaze softening. “like us.”

you open your mouth to respond, but the moment is interrupted by the sound of a familiar melody playing from his phone. jungwon grins, pulling back just enough to fish his phone out of his pocket.

“speaking of espresso,” he says with a playful glint in his eyes, “remember our dance nights?”

before you can protest, he’s already hit play, the catchy beat filling the otherwise quiet office. he holds out a hand, eyes twinkling with bliss. “may i have this dance?”

you glance around, ensuring the office is still empty, then take his hand with a resigned sigh. “you're impossible, jungwon. impresaing with dance steps now?”

he pulls you close, swaying to the music. “impossible to resist, you mean.”

you laugh despite yourself, letting him twirl you around the small space. jungwon’s dance moves are as ridiculous yet fabulous as ever, over-exaggerated and comically dramatic, but it’s exactly what you needed. he spins you out and back into his arms, dipping you low as the chorus hits.

“you always did love this song,” you say breathlessly as he pulls you back up.

“because it reminds me of you,” he replies, his expression softening. “strong, bold, unforgettable.”

your heart flutters at his words, and you find yourself leaning into him, the familiar comfort of his presence washing over you. maybe, just maybe, giving him another chance wouldn’t be the worst idea.

as the song ends, jungwon holds you close, his forehead resting against yours once more. “so, what now?”

you smile, feeling a warmth in your chest that you haven’t felt in months. “now, we take it one step at a time.”

“deal,” he agrees, his smile matching yours. “but can we start with that double shot espresso?”

“i'm more of a one shot espresso girl now.”

“one shot, double shot, triple shot, anything to get you back now”, jungwon presses a soft kiss against your lips.

espresso and jungwon will definitely be your favourites in the world, for a long long time.

a/n — omg i had so much fun writing this, i hope i brought out the best meaning of that song through this writing ^^ once again, happy 3k jiah pie,, love ya loads always mwah mwah ><

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

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[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids ideal Type

On to another ideal reading. Now it is time to see what we get for our Stay Kids boys.

Bang Chan (King of Pentacles/Goddess of the Moon) I feel the KOP's energy is more him, than his ideal type, so he would want someone he can provide for and support. He would want someone who would count on him. Okay, boy this is more about you though lol but the oracle card tells me, he wants someone on the emotional side, someone quiet, reflective, a very intuitive soul. It is like this person is in the shadow and he does all the business stuff. I don't know, but this is making me laugh. Alright, I am getting more messages about him. Imma stop, we'll get to that when we get to his boyfriend reading wtf dude, I am not here to talk about you, this boy lol Overall, he doesn't really have an ideal type from what he is giving me.

Lee Know (6 of Pentacles/Door to Spirit) Well, this is interesting, what is this!? I think he would want some charitable and caring, a giving person. Someone who is fair to him and others. A kind and gentle soul. They may be more on the spiritual side. This is someone who volunteers to help others in need. He wouldn't want someone that focused on material things and money, more about the soul and personal growth.

Changbin (High Priestess/Seventh Chakra Archangel Uriel) This surprises me. He wants someone on the spiritual side as well. A mysterious person, reserved, keeps to themselves, maybe more introverted. Someone who is very wise and intuitive and just has knowledge about things in life. A very mature person. Both the cards have books, so he may want someone who reads a lot, or has vast knowledge of things, maybe someone who writes. He would want someone he can learn a lot from.

Hyunjin (7 of Wands/Action) He wants a person who is action oriented. Who is willing to face challenges and obstacles, even if their back is against the wall. He wants someone willing to rise to the occasion. He doesn't want someone who stays back and waits for things to happen, get up and get it done is what I get. Someone willing to fight against resistance. He does want the person to think things through before pursuing things, but if you want it done, do it.

Han (4 of Wands/Angel of Strength) He wants someone to hold down the fort. Someone strong and stable/ Some mentally and physically fit. Someone with good energy. Someone he can build a stable life with. I think he would want someone to provide him strength and comfort. To make him feel good and comforted. It is like a nice person to come home to that brings his vibes up. He wouldn't want an overly emotional, unstable individual. They got to be very stable and level-headed. That strength card is giving me Leo energy, so maybe someone with that energy.

Felix (9 of Wands/The Garden and the Gate/The Sun) So, boy wanted to give me two cards, okay, guess I'll take it. So, on one end he wants someone who protects themselves, a bit shy and timid, maybe someone weary of others, someone who doesn't open up that easily. Yeah, I am getting impressionable, umm kind of don't like that, but okay, that is someone easily influenced, someone who may lack experience as well. He may want someone more on the innocent side, not that jaded. He would want someone upbeat, happy and positive, like a ray of sunshine, which is kind of like his personality. He may want someone on the creative side, or just brings life to things.

Seungmin (The Sun/Door to Romance) His seems straight forward lol He wants someone probably with Leo energy as well these Virgo's lol He wants some more on the extroverted side, a character I hear, someone positive and upbeat, he is also giving me ray of sunshine. Someone who makes light out of anything. Someone who can be the life of the party. That is basically the way to his heart with that oracle card. I will open my heart or fall in love with someone with this energy.

I.N (Ace of Cups/Fifth Chakra Archangel Gabriel) He would want someone on the emotional side, someone who may not be afraid to cry or be overly emotional with him. Someone who follows their heart and intuition. He wants someone loud and outspoken, someone not afraid to speak their truth or mind. Someone who is authentic and true to themselves.

Overall, these were kind of nice, probably the healthiest from the fourth gen groups. But we'll see when we get to their Boyfriend reading. But I liked most of these.

[pooks]

straw hat!Ichiji during Whole Cake Saga, but he's having a very Bad Time™

---

He was locked up, like a feral animal in a cage.

Ichiji had always known that he was running on borrowed time, that it was only a matter of time until Judge caught him and dragged him back to Germa.

Panic and anxiety grew in his chest, making it harder to breathe. Out...he wanted out of here...he needed to get out of here! Every primal instinct went haywire inside him. His heart kept banging against his ribs, trying to break its prison. His skin felt hot and cold at the same time.

Cuffs on his wrists. They were different than the ones forced on Sanji's own wrists. No, these were Germa-made and instead of blowing off his hands, electric volts would be sent through his body. Judge didn't want him to be "harmed", but to teach him a lesson about loyalty and obedience.

The bastard wasn't going to let him escape this time. Not when he got his "masterpiece" back. Ichiji was, after all, the one who was most successful. He had taken on two sets of genetic modifications and surgeries.

He was Sparking Red and Stealth Black at the same time.

Ichiji shook his head. This place was already messing with his head. He had to get out, he needed to escape...back to the ocean.

He turned and looked at himself in the mirror. His long red hair had been cut, against his will. He sported the same hairstyle he had as child...before he became self-aware...before he realized he loved his little brother Sanji and was prepared to die for him.

'I'm going mad...I'm turning insane! This cursed place is driving me crazy!'

Ichiji sat on the window sill, staring out through his bedroom window and watched the ocean in the distance. He thought of the Sunny and felt homesick, he longed for the gentle sway of the waves and the howling winds of a storm.

He missed Franky's booming laughter, how he could easily sit on his shoulder and smile softly when the cyborg talked excitedly about the latest upgrade on their ship. He missed sitting in the library, typing away their latest adventures on his beloved typewriter and Robin, sitting next to him, reading her books and inquiring about his theories regarding the next Poneglyph.

The ones he loved most in his heart, filling the empty void Ace had left in him and showered him with so much love and devotion. More than he certainly deserved.

He would never see them again.

Ichiji stared at the metal bars covering his window, attached from the outside. His bedroom door was automatically locked from the outside as well, trapping him inside four walls.

It didn't matter how the room was like he had left it. All interior made of the best material in existence, decorated with the most expensive and rare items...it was still a cage. He was a prisoner inside a golden cage.

'Congratulations, Vinsmoke Judge.' Scarlet Ichiji, the archivist of the Straw Hat Pirates, thought bitterly. 'You've finally caught me.'

After the wedding, Sanji would belong to the Big Mom Pirates. but he'd at least leave Germa for good. His hand would be the price for a piece of freedom.

But he would never leave this hellhole again.

'My dearest Robin...was this how you felt at the Enies Lobby? Shackles on your wrists and chained to tyrants who would only use you as a weapon? Stripping away your humanity...was this exactly how you felt? This agony, pain and humiliation?'

Ichiji swallowed, his throat felt thick.

'Franky. I'm sorry. I don't think I will see you building the ship of dreams, after all. I hope you and Robin can forgive me one day.'

[nyoomfruits]

Ohh for the prompts: jamming out to the radio at midnight with Lando/Oscar pleaseeeeee 🥰

@etherealszs

this idea has been banging around in my brain since i got these two prompts a MONTH ago and i finally FINALLY got around to actually writing it lmao. takes places directly after the silverstone gp :)

It’s probably a little telling, Lando thinks, that he’s here, sitting on the counter of Oscar’s tiny little kitchen in Oscar’s tiny little London apartment, rather than at Christian Horner’s big BBQ bash, or whatever it’s called that Max had insisted he’d come to.

And before he would’ve gone, without a doubt. He was planning on going, even. But then Oscar had approached him after the race debriefing and had tentatively asked him what his plans for the evening were and if he maybe wanted to come over. His face had that unreadable quality it always has, but Lando’s gotten pretty good at reading Oscar’s tells. The little twitch of his mouth, revealing he’s nervous. How the flush on his cheeks darkens ever so slightly.

So he’d agreed, tried to hide his own nerves, tried to squash down the hope that started fluttering in his chest, and had followed Oscar here, to his kitchen.

Oscar is at the stove, making them grilled cheeses, because according to him they’re allowed a little cheating on their diets for the race they’ve just had. Plus, they’re both starving, even though the clock has now definitely ticked past midnight.

“All right, I think I’ve finally got it,” Lando says, looking up from his phone, where he’s been trying to connect to Oscar’s speaker for the past ten minutes. Only seconds later, the sound of the Spice Girls telling them ‘what they want, what they really really want’ starts filling the kitchen, and Lando does a little victory fist pump.

Oscar laughs. “You really are on top of the world today, aren’t you,” He deadpans, buttering a piece of bread. “Lando Norris: Almost winner of the Silverstone GP and king of the Sonos speaker.”

Lando hops of the counter and does a little twirl. “Give me a few weeks, I’ll win a race and figure out how to work the AC in my drivers room.”

“Only one of those is a realistically achievable goal,” Oscar says, as Lando leans against the counter and tries to steal a piece of cheese. Or well, there’s no real trying to it, because Oscar lets him without any protest.

“And I have you for the other one,” Lando says, beaming at him. “You and your magic AC fingers.”

Oscar rolls his eyes, puts a few pieces of cheese on the buttered bread. “It’s called using the remote. You should try it sometimes.”

Lando sticks his tongue out at him. Oscar places another piece of cheese on it and watches as Lando squawks in indignation as he nearly drops it on the floor. “You’re going to be up there as well,” Lando says, when he’s managed to actually get the piece of cheese into his mouth.

“What, on your AC unit? I’d rather not.”

“No, idiot, on the podium. With me. 1-2 baby,” he grins as he says it, leaning back against the counter again, watching as Oscar does that thing he does where he ducks his head to hide the blush on his cheek.

“Sure, yeah. Eventually,” Oscar’s focusing on assembling his sandwiches a little too hard, so Lando grabs his hands, pulls them away to force Oscar to look at him.

“I mean it. Today sucked, you deserved that podium. But you will get there, and I will get there too, and it will be awesome.”

Lando hadn’t realized, how close they were standing until right now, hips pressed together, his fingers encircled around Oscar’s wrists. Their faces are only inches apart, and Lando has a flashback to yesterday, after qualifying, him pressing Oscar against the wall behind the Mclaren motorhome, frantic and giggly and drunk on victory. Their mouths slotting together in a heated kiss. Oscar’s hands on his neck, pulling him closer closer closer.

They hadn’t talked, after. They still haven’t talked. Lando is too to bring it up, afraid that this fragile little thing they have will shatter in his hands when he does.

Lando pulls away a little frantically, grabs his phone. “You know what we need?” He asks, and when Oscar just stares at him blankly, he continues. “Hype music.” And presses play on his phone.

It takes a few seconds for Oscar to grasp what is playing over the speakers, but then he groans. “No, absolutely not,” he says, grabbing for Lando’s phone as Lando cackles loudly.

“Ooooh Oscar Piastri,” Lando sings over the White Stripes’ drum beat, and dances out of Oscar’s reach. “Come on, Oscar, dance with me!” He says, turning up the sound as music intensifies, jumping up and down.

Oscar sighs, but his eyes are twinkling and there’s a smile tugging in the corners of his mouth and then before Lando knows it he’s jumping along, making Lando laugh when he does some kind of weird head bang motion.

It’s just. It feels exhilarating. Like they’re letting go of all of the hardships and the terrible races of the past few months, and just celebrating. They had a fantastic race. They made out behind the Mclaren motorhome. And now they’re here, in Oscar’s tiny kitchen, and it’s just them and the White Stripes, and it feels liberating, like there’s a huge wait falling off his shoulders.

Eventually the song ends and Lando and Oscar collapse against each other in a heap of giggles, Lando burying his face in Oscar’s shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

When he pulls back he realizes the next song has started playing, Spotify randomly shuffling his music, and it’s Adele’s Make You Feel My Love. Suddenly, the moment feels entirely too intimate. Oscar’s arms are still wrapped around his waist, and Lando’s head was just on his shoulder, and they’re practically slow dancing without the moving, and their noses are only inches apart.

“Hi,” Oscar says, a little out of breath, still.

“Hi,” Lando says, and he should pull away, he should pull away, but he finds himself frozen in place instead.

“I-“ Oscar starts, before taking a deep breath. “I really want to kiss you,” he blurts out then, making Lando’s breath catch in his throat. “But,” Oscar goes on, “But I don’t want. If this is just like, a fling for you, I can’t do that.”

“Oh,” Lando says, because holy shit. “You mean, uh. You want to like. Date? Be boyfriends?” Get married buy a house have children grow old together.

“Yeah,” Oscar says, smiling softly. “If that’s what you want.”

“If that’s what I-“ Lando mutters incredulously before surging forward, pressing his lips to Oscar, who lets out a surprised little ‘mmph!’ before melting into the kiss. “Yes, I want to, you dumbass,” he clarifies, when he pulls away.

“Dumbass? Says the guy who can’t even figure out his own AC,” Oscar says, eyes shining with mirth.

“Oh, shut up,” Lando says. “That’s what I’ve got you for, don’t I?” He says, and then he kisses Oscar again.

[rocketturtle4]

Aceness in BL: Let’s go for a Ramble

(I made this post soon after Be My Favorite finished but shadowbanning has delayed the posting) - I'm Freeee (@plantsarepeopletoo @shouldiusemyname)

So, I’ve been thinking more and more about aceness in BL (mainly BL anyway), and to get my thought’s in order I thought I’d make a post.

This post is NOT intended as a blanket rule in literally any context. It is specifically about how 1. I frame aceness in my head based on very surface level research and my own experience and how 2. I apply that to a few characters (In BL) who, to me, have felt acespec.

This post will cover

A brief overview of how I understand the acespectrum (with reference to aesthetic, romantic and sexual attraction)

How I view demisexuality as a kind of doorway (with reference to my own deminess)

How I feel five characters (Ae from Love by Chance, Arthrit from SOTUS & SOTUS S, Kat from The Warp Effect (yes not BL but whatevs), Kawi from Be My Favorite and Khai from the Warp Effect) might fall on these spectrums. (THIS WILL INCLUDE SPOILERS)

A wrap up on acepectrum, transient identities, and labels

First Up the Ace-Spectrum!

(How I frame aceness in my head)

Aesthetic attraction = I really want to just stare at this person, they so pretty

Romantic attraction = I want to have this person with me, I want to hold them close and see them daily and talk to them about everything, also I want to cuddle and sleep together (maybe idk this is the attraction I am vaguest on)

Sexual attraction = I want to have sex with this person, I want to personally bang this person, I stare at this person and think about what it would be like to kiss them with tongue and push them against walls and have them underneath/on top of me. (This isn’t necessarily at like 100% all the time I think)

Kapish?

Romantic and Sexual attraction are both spectrums (obvs) and in my head they go from

Allo (100%) <------- to --------> Ace/Aro (0%) with the percentage reflective of how frequently you find people attractive, (I don’t think 100% is everybody all the time though).

So theoretically anyone not at 100% for either romantic or sexual attraction might identify as acespec, though I IMAGINE most people over perhaps, 30% feel attraction often enough that they don’t consider it, so for headcannon purposes I’m considering under 30% as ace or aro.

Sometimes people might consider themselves grey-ace (or grey-aro) if they fall within the more middling but still low percentages (say 15-50%,) So they experience attraction to individuals on occasion, but less frequently than typical. (But, again any label that people identify with is true for them)

Framing Demisexuality as a doorway

Demisexuality is, to me (in brief), not experiencing sexual attraction prior to the development of strong emotional/intellectual/romantic feelings (also can feel like a significant jump rather than completely 0-100, for me it’s almost like a switch on/off, but it can be gradual too)

Demiromantic people don’t experience romantic feelings for people unless there’s a strong emotional bond in place. (Same caveats as above)

The demi-doorway doesn’t automatically open the moment bonds/romantic feelings are developed, it’s simply that these feelings DON’T occur without the bond first. An alloromantic demisexual person MAY develop sexual feelings for someone they like romantically, but they also may not.

Personally, I consider myself demisexual and demiromantic because (based on 1.5 data points (data points = people), which is really not enough evidence) after bonds are formed both my romantic and sexual interest about a specific person jump up to allo. My deminess also feels tied to the way the changing/wavering of these emotional bonds also closes the door really quickly?? (So I can become abruptly not attracted to someone anymore if my romantic feelings/emotions are gone/destabilised, let me tell you it is weird to experience)

The lines around characters and actors and attraction gets all blurry too. Kind of like there’s a window in my door(s) that can be open or shut, but I can always look through it? (IDK how this metaphor is holding up)

For example, here’s some arbitrary categorites:

1. People are nice looking because everybody is nice looking (e.g., most people)

2. Aesthetic attraction (let me stare) e.g., Jean from The Warp Effect or Ayan from The Eclipse

3. Aesthetic attraction but more??  E.g., Joong (Joong is pretty, VERY PRETTY. But it’s still not really sexual attraction…I just want to stare at him…extra hard…and if he WANTED to fuck me…I mean for science…but I still don’t really WANT to??)

4. First. E.g., AM I EVEN ACE/ARO WHAT IS THIS SORCERY??

Clear as mud I’m sure.

Ace people can also dislike sex, be sex repulsed, enjoy watching, and whatever else without it emphasising or erasing their aceness, since it’s about sexual attraction to an individual more than anything else.

In a similar way you can also be sex repulsed or dislike sex or dislike aspects of sex without automatically being ace.

ALSO Demispec people may experience full (e.g. 100%) romantic/sexual feelings once the door is open without the caveats that I listed (about emotional instability) and this in NO WAY erases their aceness (or their deminess). There is also something to be said for the different ways the emotional bonds are formed/feelings are triggered. My two data points (attraction to people) were both triggered by strong intellectual connections.

ALSO acespec (which includes all aro/ace/demi people FTR) people can have gender specific (or non-specific) orientations as well (e.g. homoromantic asexual or aromantic pansexual or even biromantic bi-grey-ace).

Examples from Thailand BL/QL in my headcannon

I’m only talking about allo/ace/demi here, no gender-(non)-specific orientations.

Ae (Love By Chance) alloromantic demisexual (through the door 100%)

Ae is, I think, a pretty classic example of the most common view of demisexuality. He experiences romantic feelings for someone (idk if it’s the first time for this) and then slowly realises he’s sexually attracted to said person and goes a bit crazy because he doesn’t quite know what his feelings mean because he’s never experienced them before and, well, he’s a horndog (I love Ae and this depiction for the record) his demisexuality is absolutely a gateway to 100% sexual interest!

Some signs of his aceness might include his lack of interest in sex as commented on by his roommate and his confusion over the feelings he’s experiencing for the first time because they’re outside of his frame of experience. Also his sexual feelings seem to take a while to develop, after his crush has begun.

(I’m much less certain about romantic orientation here because we don’t know if he’s had crushes before (without wanting sex) and also he’s only 18, so even if he hasn’t doesn’t mean he’s arospec)

Arthrit (SOTUS & SOTUS S) Alloromantic demisexual (but different!!)

Arthrit seems alloromantic, in his previous feelings for his childhood friend and his clearly developing romantic feelings for Kong.

Arthit’s aceness is less clear cut than Ae’s because even after he develops sexual feelings (through the demidoor) he doesn’t experience allo sexual attraction as strongly as someone like Ae. I found a lot of his reactions to the relationship ups and downs in SOTUS S were very relatable (and prompted my first ever long post lol click for way more info on this) because of how Arthrit’s desire for sex (or sexual touch) seem to waver with the relationship stability. This is not about being uncomfortable with Kong exactly, but more about how even after they’re technically on an even keel and Kong’s sharing his bed and apartment, Arthit still seems uncomfortable with some of his sexual advances. While LATER after they’ve properly talked about it, he goes back to leaning into Kongs space and making flirty eyebrows.

So his deminess kind of means his aceness is variable even through the demidoor, like the door is wavering between open and closed. But it also doesn’t ever feel like his romantic feelings for Kong waver, just that the unstable grounding of their relationship boundaries lead to emotional instability which effect his sexual interest.

(Because I will take every excuse to use my Arthrit screenshots)

Kat in The Warp Effect (aromantic allosexual)

Honestly, Kat being Aro seemed basically canon during my viewing of The Warp Effect. She shows essentially no evidence of romantic feelings for anyone the whole series. (Though obvs people can want and have sex without wanting relationships and not be aro)

While Kat later tells Alex that she likes him (and tells Jean too) I don’t really feel like this mucks with the head-canon for a few reasons:

Kat is shown to be pretty monogamous when in sexual relationships with people even as she want’s no strings (she tells Alex he’s the only one she is currently having sex with (I think), she later tells Captain Asshole this and then later tells Tony this).

Thanks to Captain Asshole she begins to feel unsafe with the way she lives her life.

She initially wants to commit to Alex as the person she is most comfortable with, but we are not really shown any evidence of romantic feelings, just a desire for commitment.

She seems to reach a similar sort of balance with Tony in the OG Warp Timeline, but there still (to me) isn’t really evidence of romantic feelings

Aro people can, after all, want a committed and/or monogamous relationship.

Kawi in Be My Favorite (Alloromatic Asexual (not Demi IMO))

The reason I think he’s ace rather than demi is more about the language he uses even after he’s in love with Piseang (please see my thoughts about ace-kawi coding in ep 10 for more details if you're curious). Even after this wasn’t made explicit by the narrative, I stand by my thoughts around his lack of interest in sex in general. (As well as the coding in ep12 of him trying the rollercoaster and not liking it). It didn’t really feel to me like he gained sexual feelings for Piseang (unlike the vibes I personally got from Arthrit even if they wavered), more than he tried sex and enjoyed it enough to participate again in the future because he loved and felt comfortable with Piseang.

If you feel ambivalent about playing tennis, but your partner really likes playing tennis than maybe you make a point of playing tennis regularly even if it’s not something you’d think about doing on your own, because playing tennis with your partner is fun you know?

Of course, if tennis makes you feel icky, or really bored, you many not ever want to play it even if your partner enjoys it.

Khai in Theory of Love (demiromantic allosexual)

So Khai is my most recent addition to this post given I just finished ToL but he was so demiromantic it crushed me into pieces so he gets to be included! ways Khai feels demirom:

His confused realisation of feelings when he talks to his Phi at the beach.

He likes to keep things uncomplicated with the girls he’s seeing because he doesn’t do relationships.

He actually tries to take his relationships seriously but just never really seemed to genuinely want the romance.

Even after he realises he has romantic feelings for Third, when he returns back to him (after the beach reflection) he notices his sexual attraction more easily than his romantic feelings.

His confusion over how much he hurt when Third seemed to be choosing Un over him, and how it was the first time he realised how much Third must have been hurting because he’d never felt like this before.

The entirety of Ep12 with Third telling Khai what he feels isn't love (because Third has seen time and time again that Khai hasn't loved anyone before). Khai's attempts to prove himself even though he really understand what loving someone means, even as he follows his emotions, and tries hard to be “better” for Third because he does love Third, he chooses Third, he changes for Third, he cries for Third.

He also curls up in his room watching romantic movies for multiple days because Third tells him that what he's feeling isn't love and if it isn't then what is?)

Very relatable and also owie ouchie my brokenness feelings.

Lack of data points makes it tricky:

There are probably lots of other characters that COULD fall into a-spectrum, (just as there are reasons why these characters might not) but the thing I find the trickiest to navigate (for my headcanons) is lack of data points. Most characters in BL are in highschool/college, and this, combined with a desire for lack of messiness in story structure, means characters are often experiencing feelings ‘for the first time.’ Long term pining, childhood crushes, and first attraction to the same gender, all come into play and make evidence muddy and lacking a concrete foundation, from which to draw conclusions.

We can’t ask characters about their preferences, previous feelings, levels of emotion etc. so in my opinion conclusions can’t be drawn, only inferences made.  

I don’t have a problem with anyone headcannoning these characters as not acespec.

I don’t have a problem with anyone headcannoning other characters as acespec.

Identities, Transience and Labelling

In discussing this post and my own framework with a couple of people I wanted to add a bit more of my personal experience with the ace label and the ace spectrum. Because the thing about both ace-ness and allo-ness is that they’re not equal all the time. Some people experience sexual attraction first or more frequently and may only experience romantic feelings later or less frequently. Some people feel romantic attraction before sexual, but only sometimes and sometimes people feel both at once and straight away, or both at once but only later on…

The romantic and sexual attraction spectrums are spectrums that everybody exists on and in existing on a spectrum some people have a firm placement and others a shifting one.

People who are ace-identified are typically those who have felt meaningfully different from their peers in the level and/or frequency of experiencing any sexual attraction and/or any romantic attraction and whose attraction is close to zero for one or both of those spectrums. They have thus sought out explanations for their difference and found the ace labels. Demi-ness, on either spectrum, then relates more to the way emotional(/intellectual) bonds, positive or negative, directly impact your ability to feel romantic or sexual attraction.

In the context of TV, for me, it’s picking up a photo of a character you love and being confused when they don’t seem right anymore. Its looking at a cast of beautiful humans and not really feeling anything but awe at their acting. It’s forgetting that characters were shirtless until the gifs show up on your dash the next day. It’s reading the definition of chemistry and not really understanding what it means. It’s not realising that there’s a difference between kisses where the lips move and kisses where they don’t because the way the characters talk and stand and stare means so much more. It’s so many things until you must notice because what you’re seeing and noticing and caring about is just…not the same as the things other people are seeing, noticing and caring about.

In the real world it’s messier, because aceness is sometimes framed as only 0%. Experiencing emotions outside of 0% can make the label feel hard to keep, or wrong or mismatched:

My 16-year-old-self called herself Asexual and was relieved to have found a reason why she felt so weird, even if it didn't quite fit right.

My 18-year-old-self called herself maybe-bi because both boys and girls can be pretty to look at, and this must be what crushes are right?

My 20-year-old-self called herself Asexual again (even though it still didn't fit right) because she’d tried things with one of these apparent crushes and it just felt…weird.

My 22-year-old-self called herself maybe straight afterall because she dreamed about kissing someone for the first time and that person was a boy.

My 24-year-old-self picked up demisexual and clung to it like a lifeline because why else would her attraction just be…gone. Was I broken?

My 25-year-old-self discovered demiromantic was also a label and felt like things finally made sense.

But what’s important to know is that at no point between finding the asexual label at 16 to finding the aromantic label at 25, was I not aro/ace. And that if I had settled on a non-aspec label after any one of my identity-questioning experiences, it wouldn’t have made me a liar at any age or negated the experience of other aspec people in any way.

Because what my 25-year-old-self now understands is that labels aren’t there to put you in a box and squeeze you into shape, nor are labels there to lay across your shoulders and weigh you down with their expectations.

The labels are a lifeline, a hand reaching out, a voice whispering in the darkness…

You are not, and have never been alone.

So, for me at least, to label characters as this or that, is not to box them in, instead it is pointing and gasping, look, look, that one is like me…or maybe, look, look, that one is like you.

When a character acts the way I would, thinks the way I would, talks the way I would I am again reminded that,

I are not, and have never been alone.

So please, label away, I don’t mind if we pick different labels. I just like that I can share my labels with you. 

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on ok i belted out a brief laughingstock Scene for possible future use that i Had to write down bc if i didn't, i'd never remember it. and why not share?

~

“Barnaby? Barnaby, old chap, are you with me?” 

Barnaby blinks, registering the green fingers snapping in front of his nose. He huffs a laugh and pushes Howdy’s hand away. “Yeah, yeah, I’m listenin’. You were saying?”

Howdy gives him an exasperated look, a fond look. “Thinking about running off to a farm again, were you?”

“Nah, just the clouds. They’re a lot less work.”

“Well I’d rather you didn’t. Who would I talk to during the long hours if you went and floated off?” Howdy winks before turning to his shelves, already yammering away about something or other.

Something or other that Barnaby is once again not listening to, because what was that? Barnaby quickly presses his cool paw-pads to his burning cheeks, feeling the bristling fur there. 

Has Howdy ever winked at him? Now that he’s noticed it, Barnaby can’t recall. If it’s new, then why? Why a wink of all things? What did that mean? And that look Howdy gave him… 

Barnaby adjusts his abruptly too-tight tie. It’s unusually warm in the store, isn’t it? Howdy must have forgotten to turn on the AC. 

Gosh, what is Howdy even saying? He’s still talking, but Barnaby hasn’t absorbed a word. He can’t even tell if Howdy is still speaking english. It’s all garbled.

There’s something wrong with Barnaby. He must be coming down with something… or he’s just overthinking it. Overworking the ol’ noggin. A good long nap should set him right. 

“Listen,” Barnaby interrupts, patting the counter, “I uh, I don’t know where my head’s at. I better go find it - I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Oh… alright, then,” Howdy says, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. 

Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Barnaby slaps that thought out of the park. He doesn’t want Howdy to be disappointed, that’s absurd. That’s something a bad friend would think. Barnaby may be many things, but a bad friend isn’t one of them.

“I’ll whip up a joke that’ll knock your socks off next time I see ya,” Barnaby promises. He smiles around the discomfort and the entirely new feeling squirming around each other in his chest. 

“Now you’ve gone and brought up my expectations,” Howdy says. He leans on the counter and grins. “Are you sure you can back up such a claim, Mr. Beagle?”

Another hot flush races under Barnaby’s fur, and to his growing mortification, his tail starts wagging at breakneck speed. He lets out an uncharacteristically nervous laugh and backs away from the counter. To both of their horror, his back hits a shelf, making it rattle and tip.

“Oh, sh-” Barnaby lunges to right it before it can topple. He whips around and laughs again. Howdy’s wide-eyed stare burns. “Sorry ‘bout that! Talk about a bulldog in a bugshop, geez.”

“When you find your head, make sure to screw it on nice and tight,” Howdy says, a strange look on his face to match his tone. “And check your temperature while you’re at it - it’s not like you to be off-balance.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m off-balance,” Barnaby says. He inches towards the door, willing his stupid tail to calm down. “I just have ears instead of rearview mirrors.”

“Uh-huh…” Howdy slides to the side, trying to peer around him. 

Barnaby fumbles for the door. The scrape and bang of his search for the handle echoes in the quiet store. One of Howdy’s eyebrows creeps higher the longer Barnaby stands there, making a complete fool of himself. 

Finally, the door clicks, and Barnaby nearly tumbles over backwards in his haste to get out. He stumbles down the steps and briskly walks away, adjusting his hat and tie. As soon as he’s out of sight, he slaps his paws to his face and sags against the bodega.

“Idiot,” he hisses to himself. He presses his back flat against the wall and slams the side of his fist against it. Normally, Barnaby would use a situation like this to his advantage. But Howdy wasn’t laughing, and Barnaby wasn’t being funny. “Bulldog in a - gah, idiot!”

Great. Now Howdy thinks he’s not only a clumsy oaf, but that he’s losing his touch too.

Barnaby growls in frustration, pushing off the wall and stomping away from the plaza on all fours. What does he care what Howdy thinks of him? Others’ opinions of Barnaby have never been anywhere near his list of top priorities - barring Wally’s, of course. If they were, he'd never tell another joke again.

Yes, Howdy is a good friend of Barnaby’s. A close friend, even. But since when has he had such a - such an effect? Barnaby shakes his head, growling again. 

There was no effect. Barnaby is just going insane. Or he’s getting sick, like Howdy implied. That would explain the sudden hot flash, the loss of typically impeccable coordination, and, oh yeah! Barnaby’s brain leaking out of his ears.  

[oncasette]

eddie on cassette

eddie munson x gn!reader

summary: five songs and how they relate to your relationship with eddie, drabble/head canon style

warnings: suggestive at points, these are shitty little drabbles. i promise i’ll have better fic later <;3

masterlist | taglist

TOUCH TOO MUCH - ac/dc

too much for my body, too much for my brain

this damn woman’s gonna drive me insane

eddie’s always got music playing when you’re over. he’s got it going when he’s alone, too, but it’s always going when you’re over.

this song, specifically, reminds him of you. and those nights that wayne’s out of the trailer and he can have you in any way he wants.

he scrunches his nose up as he sings along, dramatically pointing at you as he crosses the bedroom to kneel at the foot of the bed.

you know when he’s got this going on the player, it’s gonna be a long night.

I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN’ YOU - kiss

and i can’t get enough of you, baby

can you get enough of me?

eddie’s got this going on the cassette player he keeps on his night stand.

you’d been over at his place for a couple hours, already having shuffled through your usual music picks when you see eddie shuffling around in his tape box and pulling out this kiss one.

“whatcha doin’?” you ask as he makes the most amount of commotion humanly possible to swap out the cassettes. it takes a few seconds, but you already know what’s coming when the opening riff bubbles out over the tiny speakers.

“tonight, i wanna give it all to you,” he sings. “in the darkness there’s so much i want to do.”

it forces a laugh out of you, how earnest he looks. he’s got that look in his eyes, that goofy one he always gives you when he’s about to get all sappy and heart-melty.

“‘cause girl i was made for you. and, girl, you were made for me.” the air guitar starts then, too. His fingers plucking at the non-existent strings, leaving him to stare longingly at the real one hanging above your head only once.

EVERYBODY WANTS YOU - billy squier

everybody leads you

needs you, bleeds you

this is one that eddie only listens to when he’s in your car. on the rare occasion he lets you drive him around, he’ll let you pick the music, despite how terribly “un-metal” your taste is.

he thinks it’s cute, though, watching you blast the speakers the way he usually did. watching you sing to him.

“you give it all away,” you drop your head back on the headrest as you drag the car to a stop before you dramatically turn your head to look at eddie, who's already got his eyes locked on your frame. “everybody wants you.”

CITIES ON FLAME WITH ROCK AND ROLL - blue öyster cult

my heart is black and my lips are cold

cities on flame with rock and roll

he’s not the biggest fan of blue öyster cult, but you’d gotten the album for him on sale at the drug store so he keeps the cassette out on the table beside his player. he plays it on late nights when you’re not able to come over, the nights when he’s been away from you for days and he just needs something to tie him over until he can see you again.

sometimes he’ll pull sweetheart down from the wall and try to play along to the riffs, just because he’s bored enough.

CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE - quiet riot

come on feel the noise

girls, rock your boys

eddie’s got this blasting in the van when he’s picking you up. you’re not even going anywhere special, just back to his place to hang out for a while until curfew.

you can see him slamming his hands against the steering wheel as he mouths—or sings, probably, it’s hard to tell with how loud he’s got it—along to the speakers.

you have you bang on the window with a full fist for him to unlock it, spinning the volume back a couple dials so that you can hop in without popping a blood vessel.

“hey, baby,” he says. “you ready?”

humming, nodding, you smile back at him as he pulls out of your driveway.

[mschismosa]

Why is it seemingly impossible to find other almost 30 year olds in some fandoms who are

a. Active

and

b. Not the kind of 30yo who have vague-post beef with teens on twitter

I dont want to be that old weirdo in the crowd of 20yos but from personal experience, 25yo+ fans with a “you don’t wanna deal with a devil like me” ass attitude make me wanna bang my head against a wall.

Can we not just sit back & talk about asoryuri and swap fics and doodles in peace yes or no

To be fair i do have friends that i like and are really chill, only downside is they do not care even a little bit about ace attorney LMAO

[tiredflowercrown]

sunrise

I did it!! @shouldwemaybe I did it!! For you! And @panthera-tigris-venenata of course

Ben takes a deep breath, trying and failing to not heavily lean on Leighton, before moving outside. The brighter lighting nearly blinding him before he gets his bearings. She tugs him along forcing him to push through the pain.

“Suck it up, we have to move.” Leighton grits out, clearly struggling with his prolonged weight on her.

He attempted to pull himself together before traveling through the forest. The roots seem to jump out and trip him while the shifting patches of light made everything blur together. He was struggling to move faster than a stumble when they both fell to the ground.

Leighton hissed, her face scrunched in pain. For a few brief moments it appeared as if the ground was where they were staying before she gritted her teeth and began getting up. Something about her ankle didn’t look right and when she put weight on it, it buckled.

“Fuck”

She tried a different method of getting up, relying on the opposite leg before helping Ben up.

“Come on, we have to keep moving.”

“You just hurt your ankle horribly and you’re just acting like its nothing?”

“It’s not the worst injury I've had and if we don’t keep moving it will seem like child play to the other injuries I'll have. Now move.”

Ben stared at Leighton, at her sucken dead looking eyes, at her clammy pallor skin, at the unmistakable fear lining her entire being. She was just a kid, that was plain to see. He doubted that she was older than 12. And she had that much fear over helping him. It was just occurring to him that she very well could be risking her life to try and save his. Ben starts to move.

Together they traverse through the forest, slower but still somehow making a good pace. When a shack appears amidst the trees, Leighton almost seems excited, urging on towards it. Perhaps this was the Escape that she had mentioned earlier. But when she pounded on the door, something told him that wasn’t the case.

“Michelle! I’m calling in the favor!” Leighton yelled continuously banging on the door, bracing both herself and him against the wall.

The door swings open and a woman stands there, glaring at the two of them while bouncing a crying child.

“What do you think you are doing? I had just gotten her down. I know you don’t care about others but it doesn't make me want to help you more.” Her voice was cold and scathing yet quiet, still trying to calm the child.

“Michelle, look at him. Really look at him. He needs to get to the Escape and now.”

“Fuck. Maeve I assume?”

“Who Else. I fucked my ankle up,” Leighton hesitated, seemingly struggling to find the words. “I can’t make it there with him by myself. We’ll both be caught and then we are as good as dead.” She gritted her teeth and tensed her shoulders before staring the other down.

“Give me a moment.” Michelle turned, walking into the house while calming the child in soft tones.

Leighton helped him in, leading him over to a rundown set of chairs. He leaned back in the chair grateful for the rest. The area was bare, yet clearly lived in. A blanket on the ground with a stuffed animal on it. A stack of medicinal and herbal books on the kitchen counter. The scratches and drawings on the walls. They all pointed towards this being a home, but that made no sense to him.

Where were the pictures? The toys? The signs that there was a family here? Ben couldn’t comprehend how there was a family here, how there was a child living here.

After a few minutes Michelle walked back into the room, a mound of fabric wrapped around her body. She moved towards him, adjusting her shoulders and looking him up and down.

“So you’re the king. You don’t look like much. Both Maeve and the Isle do that to people. But you look far worse than most. I assume that's due to Auradon though.”

She moved, grabbing two smaller books and an old worn out ace bandage. Pausing, she stared at the blanket until she shook her head and strode over to Leighton, accessing her ankle. Poking and moving the foot around until she seemed satisfied. Letting out a deep sigh, Michelle grabbed the baby blanket and used it to splint Leighton’s ankle.

“That should hold until we get there. Ready?”

Leighton just stared at her before getting up, hesitantly putting pressure on her foot, nodding at the lessened pain. Together they helped him up, it wasn’t until that moment that Ben realized the mound of fabric on her back was holding the child, covering them almost entirely with only the slightest peak of a face seen.

They trudged along, leaving the house and moving back into the forest. Only this time he could see gold paint marked along some trees, a path of some sorts. What seems like hours later, they escape the forest stumbling onto a deserted road. Dozens of dilapidated houses and shacks along this street and connecting roads. But as they moved closer, there was only one with a gold painted door. A multi-storied house with boarded up windows each marked a line of gold paint.

Every continued step became harder and harder. The fatigue and pain that had been constant all day was becoming unbearable. His movements were growing more and more sluggish. Michelle glanced at him, pink hair falling in her eyes.

“Shit. We’re losing him. Ginny! Marsaili!”

The sound of a door swinging open and hurried footsteps proceeded by multiple sets of hands touching him set him in a panic. Thrashing and pulling away from everyone. A hand went to the back of his neck and he immediately went limp. Dark curls covered his vision as a woman quickly examined him.

“Grab him Mars. It’ll be easier than walking the rest of the way.” The woman said, never looking at his face.

It was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

When he next came to, it was in a barren bed with Mal by his side.

It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

[dreamyautumns]

A friend of mine gave me a fic idea for Giant!Deuce and Human!Ace so I think I’m gonna write about these two buffoons for today😎

~~~

Ace grabs hold of a ladder standing just outside Heartslabyul dorm and begins to ascend it. He's holding a large box of cookies, a scowl across his face.

"Ace Trappola! YOU made Deuce Spade angry enough to the point he broke half my dorm, so YOU shall be the one to fix it! Now, go make up with him this INSTANT!"

The ginger took a nervous gulp and looked up at his... "friend". Deuce, one of the only sizeshifters at NRC, had gotten so heated after arguing with Ace to the point he grew out the dorm and broken down half of it. The blue-haired boy sat, slumped against the building, a frown sketched across his face. Ace couldn't really tell what Deuce was feeling. Was it guilt? Anger? Fear?

Ace shook off this thought and looked down at the cookies in his arms.

He better like these... or else he's just another ungrateful asshole...

Ace climbs onto the roof and slowly walks up behind Deuce. The giant holds a rose bush in his hand, banging it against the soft earth besides him. Fallen petals scatter in the wind as the ginger clears his throat and looks up.

"D-Deuce! Down here!"

Deuce stops swinging the bush around and drops it, a heavy thud echoing off the walls. He turns to face Ace, his sea blue gaze piercing right through Ace's ruby red eyes.

"Ace... you got me in trouble with the House Warden! I lost my temper and crashed through the roof because of YOU! You're the last person I wanna see right now, so just beat it you ginger ant!"

"Is that really the best you could come up with?" Ace asks. This provokes Deuce, as the blue haired boy glares daggers down at him.

"You're a real douchebag, y'know that, Trappola? You're obviously not here to make up with me if you keep making me upset."

Right. Be nice to him, or else you'll hurt his "feelings"... Ace mocks Deuce within his mind.

"My bad, dude."

"My bad"? Is that ALL you have to say?" Deuce asks, cracking his knuckles. Each pop sounds like the crackle of thunder as the ginger backs up.

"N-no, actually. I did come here to apologize..." Ace rubs the back of his head. "Clover-senpai told me to bring you these cookies to... demonstrate how "sorry" I was, or something like that. Y'know, you REALLY gotta stop losing your temper like that. You almost squashed like, 20 people! Our House Warden included! What if-"

Deuce's eyes widen, his face contorting to a look of rage. Ace shuts up and sets the box down on the roof.

"You ever learn when to keep your mouth shut?" Deuce asks.

"You ever learn to stop taking everything someone says as something negative? I'm just providing... hmm, what's the word? Insight."

Deuce snatches the box off the roof and points one of his gigantic digits at Ace in an accusatory manner. "Keep running your mouth and I'll flatten you under my thumb, got that?"

"Whatever! Keep yappin' like this and the House Warden's gonna lose his-"

Ace has no time to finish before Deuce grabs him in a gloved hand and stands up to his full height (for now, at least; he could potentially get bigger...). Ace, for once, can feel his heart pounding in his chest as fear sets in.

"I told you to stop mocking me, and WHAT did you do?! HUH?!"

Ace covers his face as he prepares for the worst until someone's voice calls over the commotion.

"ACE TRAPPOLA AND DEUCE SPADE!"

The two first years look down to see Riddle standing on the roof. Deuce immediately sets Ace back down and stands with his arms at his side.

"T-thanks... House Warden-"

"Don't thank me. You continue to insinuate arguments with Deuce, and for that, he nearly crushed you into oblivion. Trappola, apologize to Spade this instant."

Ace looks up at Deuce, who folds his arms and glares at him. "Ugh, fine... Deuce? I'm... sorry." Ace chokes out the word sorry like a stale piece of bread.

"Now, Spade. Squishing your fellow dorm members is STRICTLY forbidden. I want you to shrink down and apologize to Trappola."

Deuce nods his head, and slowly, he begins reducing his height. In mere seconds, he's now Ace's exact height as he jumps down on the roof.

"Ace, I'm sorry for almost flattening you. It'd be great if we could just put this behind us, yeah?"

Ace scoffs but reluctantly nods his head. "Sure, whatever. Can I leave now?"

Riddle nods. "You may. Oh! Actually..." The House Warden picks up the cookie box and shakes it up and down. "How about you two share these? Together?"

"WHAT?!" Ace and Deuce ask in outrage. The two boys instantly begin to clamor over one another as Riddle turns around and sighs.

"They'll never learn, will they?"

With that, Riddle climbs back down from the roof as the two freshmen begin their bantering once more.

[eldenringslut]

Hey people, sorry I’ve been away so long. Uni has been inverting my legs recently so I only managed to finish AC6 last night.

These will be my (spoiler free) thoughts on AC6 as a long-time Fromsoftware and souls game fan. And as someone who has never played another Armored Core game before.

The first thing to realize is that, more so than any other fromsoft game, AC6 is NOT a souls game. It doesn’t play like one and it doesn’t feel like one. It is different on a very fundamental level. The combat, the exploration, the gameplay loop, the controls and the customisation, all of these are vastly different to what you’d find in a souls game.

Now this isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. Fromsoftware are clearly going for something different here, and so long as you don’t go in expecting a souls game you wont be disappointed (although the banging-your-head-against-a-wall bosses remain and still feel amazing to finally beat).

Now for the most important part (in my opinion), is the game fun? FUCK YES!!!

The combat system and controls take some getting used to, but after that the gameplay loop quickly becomes addictive. Even before you enter a mission you are constantly building, customising and testing new equipment. The game does an excellent job of incentivising customisation, with every setup having advantages and disadvantages that are needed for specific scenarios.

The game lets you save multiple setups and easily swap between them as needed. This eventually gets to the point where you’ll have multiple ACs set up, and will be theorising about what you’ll need and which one to bring before the mission even starts. Even better is that if you ever die, the game will let you change your setup before respawing at the last checkpoint. Without having to restart the mission.

This loop is perpetuated by how you’re constantly unlocking new parts. So it will take a long time before you exhaust all your customization options. And i cannot tell you how awesome it feels to slowly and precisely tailor the perfect AC setup for a specific boss and then finally beat them.

The story, music and art direction are, as expected from a Fromsoft game, all fucking amazing. The story is similar to Sekiro’s in that the main plot is told to you pretty directly, but you can still uncover a wealth of other information by reading logs and item descriptions. The game even incentivises this, rewarding you with parts for finding audio logs. There are several bosses that are so goddamn cool to fight that i didn’t even mind when they turn me into whipped cream. The game also has great replayability, with multiple possible mission paths and 3 endings (one of which includes several unique missions that can only be played in ng++).

Now obviously the game isn’t perfect. Some of the missions are objective defensive and can be kind of annoying. And for some of the bosses the best strategy is just to be as tanky as possible and just outgun them (which can be kind of boring). This is also a problem in PVP, with the meta setups being far too oppressive and skill mattering too little for my taste.

Additionally, you really don’t have that same sense of fear and caution you get from playing a souls game. You are much more likely to be worn down over the course of a mission (running out of ammo or health) than to die to any one tough enemy. The low ammo capacity of some weapons can also make them unusable in certain scenarios, which can be a bit annoying.

Overall however, this game is one of the best I’ve ever played and I 100% recommend it. The game is so good that it’s making we want to go back and replay missions to find all the secrets i missed. I recommend it whether or not you’re a souls fan.

9/10 absolutely fucking amazing.

[grailfinders]

Fate & Phantasms Viewers' Choice #13: Nero (DMC V)

today on Fate and Phantasms we’re going for some Smokin’ Sexy Style by playing D&D as Nero Nolastname, that guy with the really cool theme music. Now if you’ll give me a sec, I have to smack my head against a wall a couple times to make sure I’ve completely forgotten anything about the Tulok video so this build can be original. as original as building an existing character can be, anyway.

okay, we’re back. that’s the magic of text-based fiction! so, Nero’s mostly an Ascendant Dragon Monk to get a collection of cool arms that also let him set up some ridiculous combos going, as well as a Samurai Fighter to improve his healing factor and take those combos to even sillier levels. finally, he’s a Fiend Warlock, because… that’s literally how his bloodline works. bang bang bang, pull his devil trigger, and so on.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Race and Background

I know Aasimar are traditionally ½ celestial and you’re only ¼ demon, but screw it, Fallen Aasimar. that gives you +2 Wisdom and +1 Dexterity, as well as Celestial Resistance to radiant and necrotic damage, Darkvision up to 60’, and Healing Hands so you can touch yourself for a little boost. seriously, he has a hand that does that. arguably he has a lot of hands that do that, but he has one hand made for it, is the point I’m tryna make. he’s also a Light Bearer for the light cantrip, and at level three his Celestial Revelation will teach him how to make a Necrotic Shroud. that makes him look all creepy, forcing a charisma save on nearby enemies or they get frightened. also, once per turn you can add your proficiency bonus in Necrotic Damage to an attack or spell. it’s not quite what it used to be, but turning into a pseudo-demon is still plenty fun.

finally, Nero was a member of a holy order of knights, but I’m also in the middle of making the faerie knights while writing this and so I’m sick to death of giving builds the knight of the order background, so Nero will have to make due with the Soldier background instead for proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation. video games are like 90% fighting anyway, right?

Ability Scores

first up is Dexterity- move fast baby, don’t be slow. after that is Constitution- devils are unsurprisingly not gentle- that’s why they cry. third up is Charisma, because that’s how you get magic from demons. (You also end a five-game-long blood feud in a single fight, which must be a high roll.) your Wisdom isn’t that great- I’m not knocking Nero’s vision, but when your theme music is constantly blaring everywhere you go it’s going to drown out a lot of noise. your Strength also isn’t anything to write home about- I know Nero can fling cars around, but we only have so many points and it’s not necessary for the build. speaking of things that aren’t needed for the build, Intelligence. you have a lot of robot hands, but you didn’t make ‘em.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: if you want to run around in just a coat and not die, monk’s a pretty good choice. starting off, your Unarmored Defense adds your wisdom to your AC as long as you’re not wearing armor, hence the name.

you also learn some Martial Arts, letting you attack using your fists or monk weapons using dexterity instead of strength, and also dealing at least 1d4 of damage, which grows as you level up. no, you don’t start with end game equipment. finally, you can make an unarmed attack as a bonus action.

one last thing- you’re proficient in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as Acrobatics to ride on your own hand easier and Religion because you’re the grandson of the guy people made a religion about.

2. Monk 2: second level monks get Ki points equal to their monk level per short rest, which you can spend to do cool demon stuff like dashing, disengaging, dodging, or attacking twice as a bonus action. you’ll also get more uses for it later as your devil breaker collection grows.

you also get some extra slick reaction times thanks to your Unarmored Movement. As long as you’re not wearing armor, you gain an extra 10 feet of movement speed, which also grows as you level up.

Finally, you can gain access to your longsword (once you have proficiency in it) using your Dedicated Weapon. If you spend a rest with a weapon that isn’t two-handed or heavy, you can turn it into a monk weapon.

3. Monk 3: At level three, your devil breaker arsenal explodes after you learn some new tricks from an Ascendant Dragon. Or demon, either or. Like any monk you can Deflect Missiles, blocking ranged attacks and possibly counterattacking if you reduce the incoming damage to 0.

More importantly you become a Draconic Disciple, giving you three bonuses. You can make your Draconic Presence known when you fail an Intimidation or Persuasion check, using your reaction to re-roll the check. Once you succeed this way, you can’t use it again for a day.

You can also make a Draconic Strike, changing the damage type of your unarmed strikes to acid, cold, fire, lightning, or poison. As far as I’m aware devil triggers usually only come in fire and lightning as far as we are aware, but there’s nothing wrong with staying flexible. you also get the Tongue of Dragons, letting you learn Abyssal for free.

Finally, you can use the Breath of the Dragon as part of your attack action, replacing one attack with a cone or line of energy of one of the types listed above, dealing two martial arts dice in damage to everything that fails their Dexterity save in the area. You can use this proficiency times per day for free, or by spending two ki points. Having to break your arm to use your most powerful attacks may be annoying, but you always have a spare.

so: lightning spread for Overture, fire line for Gerbera, fire spread for the Mega Buster, and probably poison spread for the Monkey Business. you have no idea how long those bananas have been sitting there.

4. Monk 4: fourth level monks get their first Ability Score Improvement, so bump up that Dexterity for better dodging and faster sword-swinging. you can also Slow Fall now, making it less risky to pull off those mid-air combos. you also get Quickened Healing, letting you patch yourself up as an action by spending ki points.

5. Monk 5: fifth level monks get an Extra Attack, making your combo game even better, as well as letting you turn those attacks into Stunning Strikes. now you can add a stun to your lightning punches to really start a symphony of pain. plus, if you juust miss an attack you can use some ki points to get Focused Aim, helping you bring up your attack roll by spending more ki points. dropping combos suck, don’t do it.

6. Fighter 1 your combo game is almost legendary enough, but it needs something… more. bouncing over to fighter will help. first, you get a Dueling fighting style, as well as proficiency with a longsword, to really crank up your damage. you could wield a longsword with two hands, but since ol’ righty’s busy not existing I’ll just assume you’re doing it with one.

you also get a Second Wind so you can heal up once per short rest as a bonus action. healing is good, especially when the alternative is death.

7. Fighter 2: second level fighters can make an Action Surge once per short rest, really giving you that smokin’ sexy style you’re known for. with this, your extra attack, and your bonus action, you can pile on up to six hits in a single turn, mixing between your sword, unarmed attacks, and maybe even some dragon breath if you want to mix things up.

8. Fighter 3: at level three you become a Samurai, kind of, giving you proficiency in Persuasion. that war in your family is going to take a pretty high DC check to stop, better start training now.

you can also use your Fighting Spirit as a bonus action for five temporary HP and advantage on all weapon attacks this round. so when you want to go all out, you can either go for flurries of robo-punches, or a revved up sword blender- as the situation warrants.

9. Monk 6: now that we’ve got your combos down, let’s get a lot cooler. your Ki-Powered Strikes make your unarmed attacks magical, because… yeah, of course they are, they’re magical robot arms.

also we finally get to the punchline with Wings Unfurled letting you hop on your robot arm and get a flying speed equal to your walking speed proficiency times per day when you use your step of the wind. I’d definitely say flying 90’ in a round was worth the wait.

10. Warlock 1: I’m sure a couple of you have noticed by now- we don’t have a gun! I mean we technically do if you want a hand crossbow from fighter, but that doesn’t really work with our monk stuff, so… let’s get one that leaves our hands free for fighting anyway.

as a Fiend warlock, you have the Dark One’s Blessing, giving you a more long-term healing factor. every time you take a creature to 0 HP, you get temporary HP equal to your Charisma modifier plus your warlock level. right now that’s only 2 every kill, but it’ll get better as we go, don’t worry.

you also gain Pact Magic, letting you cast a few spells every short rest using your Charisma. grab Lightning Lure for your first grapply hand, Hellish Rebuke to keep the pressure up even when its not your turn, Hex to really pile on the style, and of course, Eldritch Blast for your hand cannon. since we waited so long to get this, you can fire off two shots in an action now, or three next level.

speaking of…

11. Warlock 2: second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, and for once we’re not grabbing improved pact weapon right away. first off, Agonizing Blast adds your charisma modifier to all eldritch blast attacks, making your hand canon more of a canon. second, Grasp of Hadar means your blasts are pulling double duty, both as your gun and your grapplehand. once a turn, you can pull a creature you hit with Eldritch Blast closer to you by 10’.

there really isn’t another first level spell I want, but Witch Bolt is pretty consistent, especially given how easy it is for you to catch up to people.

12. Monk 7: now that all the pieces of your offensive kit are finally together, we can focus on defense a bit. now you know Evasion, making your dexterity saves one step better than most people’s. i-frames are just silly, man. also your Stillness of Mind lets you end effects charming or frightening you as an action. most demons are completely immune, and even if you’re only part demon it’s still a solid defense.

13. Monk 8: eighth level monks get another ASI let’s grab the Resilient feat to bump up your Charisma and give you proficiency in Charisma saves. I’m pretty sure you can’t get banished, but let’s make sure of it. it would suck to drag yourself all the way to hell for a fight just to get kicked back to the material plane.

14. Monk 9: ninth level monks get an Unarmored Movement Improvement, letting you run up walls and over water, as long as you end your turn somewhere solid. no word on if this lets you hop on enemy’s heads like Mario, but that sounds cool enough I’d allow it.

15. Monk 10: tenth level monks have a Purity of Body, which means you can’t be diseased or poisoned. you run around some pretty nasty places when you fight, best not to worry about the sewer water in your cuts.

16. Monk 11: eleventh level monks have an Aspect of the Wyrm you can activate once a day for a minute as a bonus action. this creates a 10’ radius aura that either makes you frighten a creature in this area once a turn, a minute per creature, or you can give your allies resistance to one of the five elemental choices from earlier. demons are tough, you are demon, do the math.

I know I said this was once a day, but you can also do it again by spending three ki points.

17. Warlock 3: okay, basics down, you’re tough as hell, you combo good- lets make the sword a little spicier. the Pact of the Blade makes your longsword magical, and you can use an action to summon it out of the ether. you can make the sword yourself, or turn any magical weapon into your pact weapon, your choice.

also grab Earthbind to drag flying enemies to the ground. you can go up to them, or they can come to you. again, your choice.

18. Warlock 4: for our last ASI, bump up your Charisma again for stronger shots, more health per kill, and to just look cooler when you hit stuff.

you also get Blade Ward for resistance to physical damage types for a round because god knows you didn’t have enough damage types to block, as well as Misty Step. I know you’re already fast enough that this barely helps, but flash stepping is still cool. that, and sometimes you don’t want to break a window to get in. you’re not Dante, after all.

19. Warlock 5: fifth level warlocks get third level spells like Spirit Shroud for the most spice a sword can handle. now you can deal radiant, necrotic, or cold damage on your sword, (none of which account for it catching fire, admittedly) and you slow enemies and prevent them from healing while in the area. it’s not quite witchtimey enough to be Ragtime, but there’s only so many levels we can throw into magic.

you also get an Improved Pact Weapon, finally, so you can use your sword to cast your spells, and it’s a +1 blade to boot.

20. Warlock 6: for our final level you get the Dark One’s Own Luck for the ultimate in protagonist powers- once a short rest, you can add a d10 to a check or save before you find out how well you did. some fights are literally just save after save after save, best come prepared.

speaking of saves, the best saves to make are the ones you don’t have to roll. grab Counterspell to make that dream a reality. I know Nero can’t completely negate attacks in game, so just chalk this up to his improbable dodging skills.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

so first off, the big one. you’re fast as hell, with 50’ of movement speed, the ability to run up walls, and you can fly. flying monks are terrifying, just look at how many tables straight up banned Aarakocras before they got nerfed literally into the ground.

you also deal good damage, a lot of it, very quickly, in a lot of different flavors. use hex or spirit shroud to add a little damage to every attack, then make six in a single turn while also switching up your damage type on every unarmed strike- it’s like a rainbow of pain. a painbow, if you will. if something has a weakness, you will know. if they have a resistance, you can avoid it.

speaking of, you have a lot of resistances, making you surprisingly hard to kill. you can block elements, holy and unholy damage, physical strikes- if you know what you’re fighting, you can fight it for a lot longer. on top of that, you can heal yourself in multiple ways, including when you kill something or when you’re about to kill something. which is 90% of the time.

Cons:

this build is pretty MAD, and I’m not just talking about the darkness of night falling around your soul. no, I mean Multi-Ability Dependent. we need dexterity for your sword and ac, constitution to not die, wisdom to multiclass, and charisma for your gun and grapples. that’s a lot, and its why we couldn’t get more fun punching stuff like Crusher to really sell your super strength.

you also have to manage multiple resources at once, most of which have some pretty tight limits. you’ve got three fighting spirits per day, plus 11 ki and two spells per short rest. Nero takes a pretty big brain to play, even if he has negative intelligence.

while flexibility is the name of your game, you do have a couple skills that require you to lock in what you’re doing ahead of time. if you use hex or spirit shroud you’re probably not going to use dragon breath for a while. if you use Aspect of the Wyrm you’d best know exactly what kind of enemy you’re going up against, or you just wasted your resistance. it’s not the end of the world since most of the time demons are either one-note or your dad, but it’s something to keep in mind.

[jennyandvastraflint]

3,4,6,8,15 & 16 for the Doctor Who ask game!

Hehe, thank you for the ask!

3. Who is your favourite Doctor? Why?

My favourite is 13! She's just so... on the one hand quite optimistic and hopeful, on the other so terrible at communicating (I like that in a woman apparently) and broody, and she gets so much trauma, my poor skrunkly. I have a particular soft spot for her because her era made me feel properly represented a lot. Also side note, I adore her costume. But 13 is the one I also imagine in my head when I say "the Doctor". (with 12 coming close as well)

4. Who is your least favourite Doctor? Why?

Only counting those I saw, I don't particularly like Four, but the ones I enjoy least are generally Ten and Eleven. (This is gonna piss some people off) I'm trying to figure out which I like less, but it depends on my mood. Ten because I found Series 2 annoying to watch (I am at best neutral towards TenRose, don't really care and find it very annoying at worst), and Ten's treatment of Martha makes me want to bang his head against a wall. Also, he yells soooo much and I get it blah, but urgh it annoys me a lot. (Me during The Martian Invasion of Planetoid 50: Shut up Ten 🙄)

For Eleven, I think my quarrels are with some of the writing, but also Matt Smith gives me the creeps. I again don't like him shouting because uhhhh, idk men shouting is really, ready uncomfortable. I think his characterisation fell apart a bit after the Ponds left...

I feel like I have more textual things to point to with Ten (well there's SA scenes as a "joke" with both and in 12s era which I generally hate), and with Eleven it comes down to me just being creeped out by Matt Smith for no reason I can really point out.

6. NuWho or Classic Who? Why?

NuWho for the simple reason of I've actually watched all of it and it's more approachable to me (it engages my at times hyperactive brain better) plus all my favourite beloveds are from NuWho. I do hope to watch at least a few episodes of each Doctor (or companion actually) at some point!!! So far I have the very first ep, Doctor Who and the Silurians, the Infernoverse story, most of Sarah Jane, and most of Ace.

8. Favourite outfit of the Doctor's? Why?

Thirteen, definitely. I love the style she wears (recommend the video on her costume with Ray Holman!). From the wide trousers to the boots to the shirt (rainbow hellooo!), to her EARRING!!!! I'm in love with the earring!

15. What is your favourite companion outfit and why?

Uhhh... Instinctively said Yaz's PotD one! I actually have a vaguely similar yellow jacket! That being said, while I'm not a fan of Clara, her wardrobe is to die for (specifically thinking of the Under the Lake/Before the Flood outfit... I like yellow, HU XD)

16. Who's your favourite Doctor/Companion duo?

Oh, I'm torn between Thirteen & Yaz and Twelve & Bill. Am I allowed a double answer? 😂 I love Thirteen and Yaz (as Thasmin or outside of that) for the way they just immediately clicked and are so on one wavelength a few episodes in (think "Couldn't you reverse the polarity or something?" "Yasmin Khan, you speak my language."), and just their entire dynamic.

And Bill and Twelve are just soooo grandpa and granddaughter and it's so much fun (Bill deserves so much more), and Bill calling him out on his bullshit? Her calling him a penguin with his arse on fire? Delicious. (S10 was also by far Twelve's strongest season)

So yeah. I can't decide between those two.

I hope you are satisfied with these answers, and thank you for the ask againnn

[galactic-pirates]

Elemental Writer Asks: Rock, Spirit, Summer? :)

Rock: How do you deal with writer’s block? Same way I deal with everything else - avoidance.

Honestly it depends how you define 'writers block'. I mean you could say I have it now because when I sit down to write, I can't focus for 10 seconds, no words are forthcoming and anything that I do scribble is just drek. It's a bad time. BUT that has nothing really to do with writing and everything to do with depression deciding to do a comeback tour and drown me again.

However, I have always thought of the definition of writers block more being "I don't know what to write" and that has never been the case in my life. I have always had more ideas than spoons to write with.

Anyway, when I can't write I bang my head against the brick wall of "sitting there, trying and failing" for as long as I can without crying and then I run away. Then I repeat the process the next day.

Spirit: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received on your writing? Answered here :)

Summer: How do you know when you need a break from writing? Why would I need a break? I ask, as I also think of that line about "you take a break or your body takes a break for you" - stares into the camera like I'm on the Office.

I don't recall ever thinking "I need a break" and then taking one. I have taken 'breaks' from writing but it's always either been involuntary and driven by health issues, or on a rare happier occasion it's because I've had to prioritise another task, and I haven't had the time/spoons for both. But no I don't ever know that I need a break, it's not ever been a thought that has crossed my mind like that.

Fall: Have you ever completely abandoned a WIP?  What led to that decision. (as Spirit had been answered already have a bonus)

Yes a handful of times. I have 2 abandoned fanfics on AO3. One was a Lachbelle fic that I just ran out of steam on. It's not that I didn't have the ideas but I got tired, it went a long time, and then I couldn't muster the energy to make myself finish. It was going to be a long one and at that time in my life I didn't have it in me.

The other fanfic is of course Painting Layers of Love which I still feel a bit of guilt over. This was a prompt fic that lived because it was loved. It actually won a TEA. For someone like me that has always felt like an outsider in any community that really meant a lot. The problem is I accidentally wound up pouring too much of myself into Belle's characterisation, and then I wanted to write a happy ending and didn't know how - as I don't know how to fix myself. Since then personally I've only got more agoraphobic, and if I knew how to fix that I would. So I really have zero clue how to write Belle out of it, and honestly I don't know if I would. I'm ace, with no IRL friends, so I'm not really all that bothered about not being able to go outside. I think if I continued the fic I would be tempted for Belle to be like "I don't need to be fixed. I'm content as I am", which I doubt would work long-term with a relationship of any kind. Other people want to do things, go places, and not just hang out at home all the time. Guilt, resentment, frustration would build (at least I theorise it would), so not the 'happy ending' anyone wanted I'm sure, so perhaps for the best it stays unfinished potential.

I have also abandoned novels. Lots at various stages. However, the novel that got the furthest was a time travel series. I wrote book one and then book two. I then totally scrapped all of book two and tried writing it again. No matter what I tried I could not make it work, so I wound up binning the entire series.

[rafesangelita]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨

pairing: dealer!rafe x barry’s little sister!reader

summary: ❝i like you a lot, putting on my music while i’m watching the boys.❞ — there’s no denying the attraction you and rafe share when you meet each other. the only problem? he does business with barry, your older brother.

warnings: slight age gap, mentions of drugs, dealing of drugs, protective barry, heavy flirting, teasing, playful banter, slight slut shaming, mentions of underaged drinking (reader is twenty, rest assured!), unprotected sex, semi-public sex, rafe fucks you against the wall, hair pulling, overstimulation, cream pie

word count: 3.8k

a/n: i got a little too invested in this lol. remember my requests are on and you could request more of this pairing if you’d like! (i have some more ideas with dealer!rafe and barry’s little sister!reader ;) series masterlist

tick, tick, tick.

you glanced at the clock in the corner of your room, the time 3:37 PM flashing back at you. the hottest time of the day, and you were definitely feeling it. you sighed, deciding to play some vinyls to pass the time. barry had stepped out real quick, leaving you by yourself to play your music as loud as you want.

you hummed along to the tranquil sounds, putting your hair up in a ponytail as you watched the record spin. placing your hands on your hips, your head shot up as you heard the revv of a bike outside. probably barry, you thought. making your way to what’s supposed to be the living room, you waited for the door to open, ready to give your brother an earful about the ac going out, again.

instead, you were met with a loud bang and a series of knocks after that. you jumped at the sound, peeking outside the window to see who it was. fresh haircut, collared shirt, and a gold ring on his index finger, he was definitely not from this side of the island. “it’s rafe man, open the door!” you paced back and forth, wracking your brain if whether or not you should let him in. barry’s number one rule for you was to never open the door to anyone who comes looking for him, he refused to get you involved in anything he did.

what was a kook doing here anyways?

the man outside kept knocking until finally you cracked the door open, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. “ah, shit, i’m sorry i didn’t know barry had a girlfriend.” you were immediately taken aback by his words, a grimace gracing your face. “ew, no way! he’s my brother.” you moved forward, your body basically wedged between the flimsy metal.

at this, rafe raised his eyebrows. “your brother? i’ve never seen you here before.” you crossed your arms. “yeah, that’s because he’ll have a heart attack if i come out while he has someone over.” rafe scoffed. “yet, you opened the door for me?” the corner of his lips lifted slightly, your heart squeezing at the sight. “don’t flatter yourself, it’s not everday that a kook turns up outside.” you tilted your head, letting it rest on the doorframe. rafe scanned your outfit before his gaze settled on your eyes. “that’s fair,” he nodded, “i could see the resemblance a little.” you laughed softly.

“we have different dads, but i’m way prettier than he is.” you rocked on your feet, letting your orbs wander across the man in front of you. “yeah, you are,” your cheeks reddened instantly, rafe taking notice of the effect he had on you. “you gonna let me in? or do i have to stand here until barry gets back?” you pretended to think, tapping your red nail against your chin. “you could wait!” you slammed the door, laughing loudly at the look on his face.

as much as you really did want to let him in, you knew you had to be smarter, considering the kind of business barry was in. you went back to your room, still giddy from your interaction with rafe. you moved the curtain, watching as he plopped down on one of the crates outside. your music still played in the background as you kept your eyes on him, your teeth pulling your bottom lip.

there was no denying how attractive he was, anyone with two eyes could see how handsome he was, especially with that pained stare of his. less than five minutes later, you saw barry walking up the dirt path, rafe jumping out of his seat to greet your brother. you quickly stood by where the entrance of your room was, listening closely to their conversation. “hey, man, did you try to come in or something?” your eyes widened as you mentally slapped yourself. of course you’d forget to lock the door when you really needed to.

“nah, a girl answered it.” to be fair, you slammed in rafe’s face, but you didn’t expect him to full on tell on you. “you don’t say…” you threw yourself on your bed, pretending to read a magazine just in time for barry to come in. “come out here,” he ushered you towards the living room. “you answering doors now?” he sat down next to rafe on the couch. rafe wore a smirk, obviously enjoying all of this. “i just answered this one. he looks harmless anyways,” rafe’s smirk disappeared as barry burst out laughing beside him. “damn country club! can you tell we’re related?” you rolled your eyes, taking a seat at the small round table by the kitchen.

rafe held his hands up in defense. “i’ll give that one to her,” he took out a wad of cash, throwing it in barry’s lap. “just don’t do it again, alright? i ask you not to do that for a reason.” barry pointed at a paper bag in front of you. “stopped at your favorite spot, mary gave it to me on the house as soon as i mentioned your name.” you smiled, taking the slice of cherry pie out of its container. you made a mental note to go by and thank her later. “thank you, bear,” barry shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as soon as the nickname slipped.

“y/n..” you laughed, licking the cherry filling from your finger. rafe watched you the entire time, loving the way your laugh sounded in his ears. “i’m sorry!” you wiped your brow, the sweat reminding you of what you were gonna tell him in the first place. “the ac is out again by the way,” barry took a box out from behind the couch, “yes, y/n, i know it’s like a thousand degrees in here.” he cracked open the windows. you looked past him, your eyes falling on rafe who was manspreading on the couch. with a view like that, it was nearly impossible to look away.

him and rafe started trading cash and blow, both of them wearing a serious expression as rafe weighed the baggies, and barry counting the money. “i ran into lori on my way back,” barry spoke up, “she said you and her were gonna go out tonight?” rafe paused, looking up at you as you nodded. “yeah.. so?” you arched a brow at him. “you aren’t going to the tavern again are you? i’m not gonna be happy if i get another call that you and your troublemaker of a friend are dancing on tables together.” now it was your turn to be embarrassed.

you cleared your throat. “yes, we are going to the tavern, but no dancing on tables this time, just to hang out with some friends.” barry nodded. “if that bartender serves you, you better tell him i’ll be paying him a visit.” you swallowed at his words. “you’re not even old enough to be in there.” he added. rafe’s jaw clenched as you answered back. “i’m old enough for them not to ask questions, they don’t care.” you got up, throwing the empty pie container in the trash can.

“i’m gonna go get ready at lori’s, at least at her place i could make it out the door without melting.” you went to your room, quickly throwing some clothes in your bag before making your way to the living room. rafe stared at your exposed midriff as you stood in front of the door. “lori’s is kinda far, why don’t you wait till i’m done here and i can take you.” you shook your head, your fist twisting the doorknob. “no need, i’ll come back home later tonight.” you spared rafe one more glance before leaving, a small smile forming on your lips when he winked.

“i didn’t know you had a little sister, bear.” rafe mocked your nickname for barry, barry shoving his shoulder soon after. “call me that again and i’m gonna fuck you up country club.” rafe clapped his hands, putting the bags he weighed in his backpack. “i’m just fucking with you man,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “but seriously you had a sister this whole time? and i’m barely finding out about her now?”

barry flashed him a look. “yeah, and? you don’t need to know about her,” he put his cash in the same box as the coke, flipping the top closed. “she’s the only family i got, i don’t want her in the mix with what i do.” he sat back in his seat. “she’s cute.” rafe shrugged. “yeah? your sisters cute too, think she’ll give me a chance since she’s already running around with a pogue, anyway? watch your mouth man.” rafe laughed as beads of sweat started forming on his forehead.

“jesus christ.” he shook his head. “kook party tonight, so i’m gonna be on my way.” rafe slung his backpack over his shoulder, making his way outside. “come back with my money tomorrow!” barry shouted from the living room, cursing under his breath as he watched rafe leave.

-

“aw, come on, one more!” lori pushed a shot glass at you, all your friends watching with anticipating eyes. this was only your second shot, not nearly enough to get you drunk whatsoever. obliging, your friends roared into cheers as you downed the burning liquid, slamming the glass down on the counter. “that’s our girl!” lori shook you by your shoulders, the bartender looking away from where you sat. “okay, no more. seriously, i can’t go home drunk.” you laughed.

you had been at the taven for nearly two hours already, your friend group settling down for the night as some of them started to leave. “hey,” lori took a swig from her beer, “would you mind if i left with chris? he’s been trying to get me to go home with him all night.” a part of you knew your best friend would leave with her on again off again boyfriend before you two had even arrived here.

“no, you go ahead. you know me, i’ll just catch a ride with someone else.” you hugged her, shaking your head as she mouthed ‘thank you’ on her way out. just as the door closed behind her, it swung back open, your breath catching in your throat at the man striding in.

rafe.

you spinned in your chair, eyes shutting tight as if that’d make you disappear into thin air. sure enough, you felt the heat of someone on your back, his voice cutting through the thick air of the bar. “two cokes,” you relaxed, accepting your fate as he cleared his throat. “you gonna stay facing the wall the whole night?” you caved, unshielding your face from your hands. “what are you doing here?” you suddenly felt exposed, your top suddenly feeling more tight than it did five minutes ago. “this is a bar isn’t it?” he scooted a glass towards you, taking a sip from his own.

“you know what i mean. barry isn’t anywhere near here.” you heard your heart beating in your ears as he eyed you carefully. “i didn’t come for barry.” rafe leaned closer to you, his cologne intoxicating you more than any bottle of liquor in here could. “aren’t you supposed to be making my brother money right now?” sass was your defense mechanism, and right now you needed it. “i already did, sweetheart. sold out in thirty minutes.” your mouth opened slightly.

“i didn’t know blow was in such high demand over there on figure eight.” you covered your chest, a shiver going down your spine when his eyes flickered to your cleavage. “yeah. a bunch of sheltered rich kids made me, well your brother, nearly two thousand dollars in less than an hour.” you scoffed. “anything to rebel against mommy and daddy, right?” you accepted the soda, letting yourself relax. “you’re telling me you never rebelled?” rafe scoffed. “i never had to.” you shook your head. at this, the man next to you scooted closer, his thigh touching your own.

“where are your friends? i thought you told barry they’d be here with you.” he looked around, noticing everyone talking amongst themselves. “they were here with me. i usually like to stay later after it calms down a bit.” you shrugged. rafe nodded, his hand moving your hair off of your shoulder. his touch was enough to make goosebumps spread across your skin. “tell me something, y/n..” rafe leaned in, his breath fanning against your cheek, “does your brother know that your tits spill out of your tops when you go out?” your head shot in his direction, your face growing hot at his proximity.

“i wonder what he would say if he knew there was so many eyes on you.” you sighed, rafe’s large palm now resting on your thigh. “including yours?” his fingers dug into your skin as you let out a shaky breath. “why don’t you tell him, then? let him know that you were in the same bar as me.” while you expected him to respond with something smart, his lips hovered above yours as he whispered, “i won’t tell if you don’t.”

rafe kissed you, your hands balling up his shirt as you kept yourself from moaning at the taste of him. he kissed you slow and deep, the feeling of his lips moving so languidly with yours becoming your new favorite thing. rafe groaned, the sound pulling you out of whatever world you were in at the moment. his eyes swept over your face, his chest rising and falling as you pulled away. “i, uhm- i need the restroom, i’m sorry,” you panicked, clutching your bag as you speed walked down the dark hallway of the bar.

what the fuck were you doing right now??

you shut the door behind you, your eyes narrowing as the neon signs on the wall flashed their colors at you. you had never even been with a pogue, let alone a kook. not to mention, rafe does business with barry, it would make things complicated and you don’t even want to think about what your brother would do if he found anything out. you ran your fingers through your hair, taking a deep breath before you found yourself touching your lips, the feeling of rafe still there.

you knew what you had to do; you needed to get out of here as soon as possible and forget about him, as harsh as that sounds, you couldn’t risk everything just because he’s so dangerously handsome and gives kisses that’ll make you reminisce about years from now. okay, you muttered to yourself, gathering yourself together as best as you can. as soon as you opened the restroom door, it all came crashing down as rafe looked up from where he was leaning against the door frame. the second your eyes met, you pulled him in as he attacked you with another kiss. this kiss was rough, it was bruising, but so fucking good.

rafe locked the door behind him without turning around. “we shouldn’t be doing this.” you spoke inbetween kisses as he backed you up against the wall. god, he was tall. rafe towered over you easily. “no, we shouldn’t,” he ran his thumb across your bottom lip, “this will be our secret, alright?” him indicating that ‘this’ was going to become a thing, meaning this wasn’t a one and done situation, made your heart flutter in your chest. you nodded, your bag long forgotten on the floor as he undressed you. “fuck, you’re perfect,” his shirt was next to go, the sight of his erection pressing against his jeans was enough to make you clench around nothing.

you shuddered as he took his belt off in one swoop, his pants and boxers pooling around his ankles. he grabbed you by your hips, picking you up as he pinned you against the wall, your legs wrapping around his waist. “i’ve wanted to do this to you since the second you answered that door.” his mouth latched onto your neck, your fingers tugging at the ends of his hair as he ground his cock against your wet folds. “these fucking eyes,” he moved your hair, both of you moaning as he entered you slowly.

“oh, fuck,” your head fell on his shoulder as he fucked into you. you don’t know what was hotter, the expression on rafe’s face, or the fact that he was fucking you while standing up, your weight like nothing to him as he slammed you down on his hips. “saying i look harmless? wait till you find out about me.” he repeated your words from earlier at the trailer, understanding completely that this man was anything but. he made you want to do things you’ve never done, things that have never even crossed your mind.

“i was wrong.” you planted a kiss on his jaw, the action sending a shiver down his spine. rafe never let anyone kiss him during sex, or at all really, he didn’t know what was happening, all he knew was that he liked it when you did it. you hissed with every thrust, your back scratching against the wall. “hurts, rafe,” you mouth hung open as he grunted, letting you down on wobbly legs. he grabbed your wrists, placing them on your back as he bent you over the sink. rafe only entered the tip, a smile growing on his face as you looked up at him through the mirror.

“why’d you stop?” you nearly pouted before he delivered a sharp slap to your ass. “fuck yourself on my cock, i want to watch.” rafe’s head lolled to the side as you glided onto him, your velvety walls sucking him in with ease. “oh, my god,” he took his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyebrows knitting in pure bliss. “you’re doing so good.” he breathed out, his hips bucking when you clenched around him. you were a high he could never come down from, the realization hitting him in his chest. he grabbed your waist, his large hands encircling your lower back as he started thrusting.

even though your elbows ached from your arms being tucked behind you, the pleasure overpowered any discomfort you felt as you fought to keep your eyes open. you were so full, the feeling of his head constantly hitting that soft spot inside you, making your knees buckling as rafe reached under, rubbing your clit at an unforgiving speed. a sob ripped from your throat, your head hanging in defeat as rafe watched your reflection. even when you were getting plowed into, your eyes sparkled under the neon lights, your lips looking swollen and perfect for him.

rafe felt his own climax approaching as his determination to make you cum first grew. the coil in your tummy was unwinding with each stroke of his fingers until finally it snapped, your eyes rolling back as he pulled you up by your hair. if it wasn’t for the music blaring outside, the sound of skin slapping against skin would bring a blush to your cheeks. “gonna send you home tonight with my cum sticking between your thighs, how does that sound?” you moaned at his words, nodding as your soaked cunt fluttered around his cock.

rafe buried his face in your neck, leaving sloppy kisses as he finished inside of you, thick hot ropes of cum shooting against your walls. “take it,” he covered your mouth as you whined at the overstimulation. “take every last drop you fucking slut.” his movements came to a slow stop, your eyes damp with tears. rafe dabbed the corner of your eye with his thumb, shushing you as he pulled out. “you’re too pretty to cry,” he spun you around, your fucked out eyes gazing up at his. “there’s no way in hell i could walk all the way home now.” you sighed, an exhausted laugh falling from your lips.

“you were going to walk home?” disbelief echoed in his voice as he pulled up his pants. “yes, but don’t worry i’ve done it plenty of times-” rafe picked up your clothes from the floor, “you’re never doing that again, got it? i’ll be your personal chauffeur if i have to.” he helped you put on your shorts and underwears, both of you smiling softly at eachother. just as rafe was going to hand you your top, you shook your head, pointing at the bag in the corner. “i have a spare t-shirt in there, i can’t let barry see me in this.” you leaned against the sink, your legs feeling like jelly. rafe slung your bag across his shoulder, putting your t-shirt on for you.

“all ready?” he wrapped an arm around your waist, supporting you up as you made your way outside the restroom, trying to the best of your ability to avoid the stares of those who watched you two leave the bar. as if he could sense your unease, rafe turned as you walked up to his bike. “what’s wrong?” he moved your hair out of your face. “word travels fast around here,” you looked into the distance, your mind racing with how barry would confront rafe if he ever caught ear that you and rafe left a bar together. “yeah? so,” you flashed him a look that said ‘my brother will actually kill you if he finds out about this!’

rafe sighed, pushing his helmet into your hands, “don’t worry about anything, i’ll ride out of there fast enough for him not to see me, alright? if he questions you just say it was someone else. it’s dark as shit out there anyways.” with his reasonings, you felt a lot better, ultimately deciding to let him take you home. he had you back at the trailer in less than ten minutes, your heart racing as he rode up the dirt path. you swallowed nervously, hopping off when he came to a stop. you handed him his helmet, about to run inside before he grabbed you.

he took your lips in a searing kiss as your hands snaked over his shoulders. “i’ll be here tomorrow to give your brother his money,” he whispered, grabbing a handful of your ass while you looked back at the seemingly quiet trailer. “okay, rafe you have to go!” you laughed, pecking his lips one more time before you jogged to the front door. sparing him one more glance, you waved as he watched you go inside, only hearing him ride off when you shut the door behind you. you sighed, not being able to stop smiling at the whole thing. “you’re back late.” you jumped at the sound of barry’s voice as he walked away from the window. “uhm, yeah- i’m pretty tired though, so..” you avoided his gaze as you started to make your way to your room.

“hold it right there.” just like your movements, your heart stopped as barry let out a bitter laugh, the light from the tv illuminating his face. “am i tripping or was that country club that just dropped you off?”

fuck.