#ace consistently rolls nat0s on persuasion

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Yuu can do it!

Part 21

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Masterlist

As Enma watched Lilia jumpscare Kuroki by appearing out of nowhere just to set his hands on his shoulders, he only thought two things:

1) AAAAAAAAA.

2) He was going to learn magic if it was the last thing he did.

They were very conflicting thought processes, but what could he say? He was a complex fellow.

A complex fellow that was holding his chest like an elderly grandma who had just seen a trans person for the first time, perhaps, but a complex fellow nonetheless.

Speaking of…

Ito recovered from their moment of terror enough to mumble the words: “May I have your pronouns?”

“Sure,” Lilia said, smiling. “I wasn’t really using those, anyways.”

“What do you –?” Ito (now they/them/he/him) started, only to nearly fall out of their/his chair. “WHAT THE FUCK?! I’VE BEEN GENDERED?!”

“Well, you did ask,” Lilia (now / ) pointed out.

“No! I just – I don’t want them!”

Lilia shrugged. “Okay.”

Ito (they/he/him) gave Lilia ( /them) a horrified look.

“Hey, wait a minute, them is mine!”

“But didn’t you say that you wanted me to have it?”

This proceeded to go on for several minutes.

Eventually, Ito managed to fix their pronouns. With the help of Cater, who seemed very much used to these kinds of shenanigans happening when he was around Lilia. Maybe they would have fixed it faster, but Kalim had tried to help and had gotten his own gender stolen. Which he didn’t seem to particularly mind, but it did make giving Lilia masculine pronouns again hard, because his pronouns started to recognize as he^2/him^2 and that was just confusing. Could you imagine trying to say that in casual conversation? Enma could. Because he had had to stumble his way through it. It was torture.

But the torture was over, hopefully, and Lilia settled into the seat by Kuroki. Who looked like he had accidentally bitten into a lemon.

Enma leaned across a still-stunned Kuroki, resting his arms atop the boy’s head, to talk to Lilia. “You can teleport?”

Grim made a squeaking noise. “I was hoping I just missed him walking over…”

“Evidently,” Lilia said, grinning in a way that showed off tiny fangs.

“You’re more shocked by the teleporting than the pronoun thing?” Ace asked, still a little pale.

Enma shrugged. “I’m fine with my pronouns, don’t really need any more or less. However…” He trailed off, his face gaining a strange kind of smile. “Teleportation…” he said dreamily.

“It’s a fae thing,” Cater explained, shrugging.

Enma pouted. His plans for getting places easily were now foiled. Ignore the fact that he couldn’t do magic and wouldn’t have been able to anyways.

“You could always become a changeling,” Lilia offered.

Enma brightened up again.

“Absolutely not,” Ito said.

He groaned. “Well, I guess if mom says no, I can’t.”

“Kalim-senpai, can I have your tray for a sec?”

Kalim scooped everything off his tray and started to give it to Ito, very obviously unaware of the attempted murder he was about to assist in, but Jamil reached between them and took the tray before Ito could get their hands on the weapon. And then he took the opportunity to start cleaning up after the pair of them, muttering something about needing to leave to make Kalim study for a test they had next period.

Kalim yelped and immediately started looking through his bag, presumably for a notebook or textbook to study from.

“Well, aren’t you all just bursting at the seams with youth?” Lilia commented, watching the pair of Scarabia students rush away to go do some very last-minute cramming while Ito and Enma (who were both weaponless and sad) settled for making rude faces and gestures at each other over the table.

Ito and Enma paused in their contest to see who could screw up their face more to give Lilia a strange look. The first years all traded bewildered expressions. Who talks like that?

Cater and Trey, however, looked unfazed… so, apparently, Lilia did. Maybe he was a Shakespeare stan or something.

“Regardless, the reason I came here was to help your friend with the glasses tell you that I am not at the age one would call a child.”

Enma tipped his head to the side. He certainly didn’t act young, and Enma would certainly say that he acted old enough to be a third-year, but the wording of that was strangely careful. The way the fae worded everything was strangely careful, for that matter. Why did he feel like that was important? Why did he feel like he had heard something like that somewhere before?

“But I would also like to inform you that you needn’t talk about and observe us from afar,” Lilia continued. “Are we not all students of the same school? We at Diasomnia welcome you with open arms.”

Glances were spared for the other Diasomnia students, who should definitely not be included in the ‘we’ that Lilia had opted to use. They glared at their table with so much fervor that Enma felt the need to lean away, dragging Kuroki with him. Their glare did not let up in the slightest, but Kuroki seemed to relax a little now that there was about half a meter of space between them, so… a win? Maybe?

Deuce cringed. “Maybe you open us with open arms…”

“Until then,” Lilia said, showing no real sign that he’d heard him other than a wicked little grin. “I apologize for dropping in on your meal. Goodbye.”

And then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, Lilia was gone.

Ace’s eyes flitted over to the Diasomnia table as if to confirm that the fae had gone back, before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially: “Their table is 20 meters away, easy, how the hell did he know that we were talking about him?”

“I don’t think whispering is going to make much of a difference at this point,” Ito sighed.

“Yeah…” Trey said. “A lot of the people from Diasomnia are… interesting.”

“That’s polite for ‘fucked up’,” Grim translated for the table. He looked pale, which should have been impossible for a monster covered in fur, but here they were.

“No, it’s polite for ‘interesting’,” Trey said delicately.

“All of the people in that dorm are good with magic. A bunch of them are fae, too, though, so that makes sense,” Cater said in the kind of tone that suggested that it was common knowledge in this world that fae were better with magic. The Yuus all nodded along accordingly.

Cater nodded back, as if he too was caught up in their false sageness. “Their dorm leader, Malleus Draconia, is, like, the Diasomnia students’ Diasmonia student.”

Enma snapped his fingers. “Malleus Draconia. I heard people talking about him at the ceremony. He’s one of the top mages in the world, right?”

Trey nodded. “Top five, at the very least.”

“And he’s still in school?” Enma asked.

Kuroki groaned and elbowed him in the side. “We’re not going to go pester one of the top mages in the world for information.”

Enma huffed. He is being oppressed by his roommates.

Cater gave an awkward little laugh. “Yeah, no, don’t do that. He’s his own special brand of crazy.”

Ace snorted. “Not that we can talk about crazy dorm heads, though. I mean, the Heartslabyul one collared me for eating a damn tart.”

Ito began making cutting motions across their neck in a clear ‘shut up’ that made even Enma press his lips together to make sure that he was following the instructions.

Ace, however, was too busy shit-talking to notice anyone else: “His narrowmindedness is crazy.”

Everyone started frantically trying to shush him, whether that be by pressing fingers to their lips or shaking their heads or waving their hands to try and get him to actually look at them look at them look at them!

Enma followed everyone’s frantic gaze to find Riddle Rosehearts himself and he, too, started frantically elbowing Ace in the side. Unfortunately, him ‘sucking up’ to a position of authority wasn’t enough of a change in character for it to really phase the boy.

“Really, he blew right past ‘strict’ and straight into being a tyrant –.”

Kuroki finally snapped: “Ace, oh my god, shut up!”

Finally, Ace’s mouth clicked closed, and he noticed that everyone looked like they were very much preparing themselves to see a murder. Ito had bowed their head in a way that made it seem like they might be praying for the boy.

“No, no, let him continue,” Riddle said, his eyes narrowed.

Ace went very, very still.

He turned around slowly, as if he thought that if he did it slow enough Riddle might get bored and leave, until his eyes met those of his dorm leader.

He smiled in a way that was likely supposed to be placating and charming… but really just looked like a grimace. “Dormhead… hi…”

Cater gave what he clearly hoped was a winning smile. “Riddle-kun, you’re looking – uh – super crazy cute today!”

“Cater, if you run your mouth any more I’m going to take it off along with your head.”

“Shutting up,” Cater said, drawing a line across his lips to make it look like he was physically zipping them up.

“Geh,” said Grim, instantly shooting into Kuroki’s arms for protection. A terrible idea, really, Kuroki was probably the least likely to be able to do anything. But whatever. “It’s the guy that put that weird collar on me during the –!”

Kuroki used the proximity to slap his hands over the monster’s mouth.

“And you’re the students who caused all that fuss yesterday,” Riddle said, his eyes flicking away from Ace momentarily to send Grim a severe look. Kuroki was, unfortunately, caught in the crossfire, and the boy looked like he very much wanted to disappear. “I would suggest you keep a collar on your familiar. Though, perhaps, one less ‘weird’. And, perhaps, a muzzle might do him some good.”

Kuroki gave a jerky nod.

“The headmaster is far too kind.”

(Ito made a choking noise. Thankfully, they quickly covered it up by actually choking on their slice of pizza.)

“If you forgive rule breakers, the whole system will collapse. All he has to do to make sure people fall in line is lop off all their heads, but he continues to refuse to…”

Ace’s eyes widened. “He sure looks innocent, but the words that come out of his mouth never are.”

Deuce poured soup into his friend’s lap to make him shut up.

Unfortunately, Riddle did not deem this punishment enough, because he gave him a cold look. The coldness might’ve helped, though, because Ace’s pants were steaming.

Probably not. Ace was still frantically switching between frantically wiping himself off with a napkin and even more frantically looking up at Riddle.

“The headmaster might have forgiven you, but make no mistake, the next time you choose to break the rules, I most certainly will not.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“Say… Dorm leader…” Ace began, and Enma could already tell that this was going to go wrong. He elbowed him in the side, but it did nothing to deter the redhead. “Could you, maybe, remove this collar?”

Kuroki slapped his palm against his face. Ito started praying harder.

Riddle surprised them all by saying: “That was what I had been coming over here to do.”

Enma blinked. That really didn’t seem like much of a ‘tyrant’ thing to do. It had hardly been a few hours.

“But judging from the way you were talking just a moment ago, I don’t believe you’ve learned anything at all.”

Again, Enma thought that was pretty fair. Maybe the collar was a bit much, but…

“You needn’t worry about your classes, as a first-year, you’ll primarily be learning the fundamentals rather than actually using magic – especially at this point in the semester.”

Had he really taken that into account? Enma tipped his head to the side.

“Besides, if you can’t use your magic, there’s no risk of causing another scene, either. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

Enma was heavily reconsidering his opinion of the dorm head. From the looks of it, Ito and Kuroki might have been, too. Ito was even looking at Grim consideringly, as if they were actually thinking of trying to get the familiar a collar of his own.

But then Riddle ruined it: “Now, don’t just sit around chatting away. The 271st Law of the Queen of Hearts states that ‘One must leave their seat within 15 minutes of finishing their lunch’. If you break the rules… well, I believe I’ve made myself clear.”

They all nodded.

Except for Ace.

“Another weird as hell rule to add to the list…” he groaned.

Okay, Ace deserves his punishment, Enma decided. He had never met someone with fewer self-preservation instincts. And that was saying something, seeing as the only thing stopping him from becoming a ghost to see what it was like was the fact that he could simply ask the ghosts he already knew personally to describe it for him.

Riddle narrowed his eyes. “The correct answer is ‘Yes, Dorm Leader!’”

“Yes, Dorm Leader!” Everyone chorused.

Yes, even the Yuus and Grim. Unlike Ace, they all knew how to stay alive without relying purely on another person’s mercy.

Riddle smiled. “Very good.”

Trey finally decided to say something: “Listen, Riddle, I’ll look after them for you, okay?”

Riddle nodded. “You’re meant to be the vice dorm leader, so I expect you to get your act together.” He straightened further. Enma wasn’t even sure how he managed to do that, he already had perfect posture. “Now, according to the Laws of the Queen of Hearts, Number 339, ‘Tea after a meal should always be lemon tea with two sugars’. I must go buy sugar cubes from the school store, so I’ll be on my way.”

He shook his head as if the sugar pot not being topped off was a huge offense and then turned to leave. Enma noticed the way the boy’s eyes caught on the table of Octavinelle students (who were all muttering amongst themselves conspiratorially, their empty plates pushed aside so they could quite literally compare notes), on a Savanaclaw student who was drinking a carton of milk… he gritted his teeth as he headed towards the door, as if it physically pained him to not call them out for doing something so terrible as enjoying their lunch period.

The moment Riddle was out of earshot, they all breathed a sigh of relief.

Including a couple of the Heartslabyul students at nearby tables. He heard someone mumble something about not being able to eat hamburgers on Tuesdays, their voice somewhat muffled by the hamburger they hadn’t fully finished chewing.

Cater pretended to unzip his mouth. “That was a close one.”

Except for Ace, who turned on his friends. “Why didn’t you help? You said I was right earlier!”

Ito raised an eyebrow. “We literally said that you shouldn’t have eaten that tart. Where did you get that from?”

He huffed.

“That Riddle guy is so obnoxious,” Grim said the moment he was released.

Deuce frowned. “That’s rude, Grim!”

“He’s terrifying, more like,” Kuroki said, shaking his head.

Enma frowned and nudged Kuroki’s shoulder. Normally, he might have cuffed the boy over the head for being impolite, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully disagree so that was all he could really do.

Trey grimaced. “Riddle can be a little harsh, but that’s just him trying to make the dorm better. He’s got good intentions.”

Grim snorted. “People with good intentions don’t just randomly collar people!”

Enma sighed. “Grim. You literally set the entire ceremony on fire.”

“But it sucks,” Grim lamented.

“Yeah, his UM is pretty awful,” Cater agreed. “It seals another person’s magic for a fixed amount of time. Losing your magic as a mage really does hurt as much as the whole ‘Off with your head’ name implies. It’s like…”

“Losing a part of yourself,” Ace said dully.

Enma tried to picture it from their point of view. He was pretty sure he would be mad, too, if he managed to have magic only for it to be cut off from him, and if it hurt…

“Nono… it’s more like…” Cater snapped his fingers. “Losing your left arm. You don’t need it, really, but everything is made so much less convenient without it.”

Trey gave a small nod. “It’s not fun. But, if you just follow his rules, he’s not scary at all.”

Ace groaned. “But the rules are so dumb. Like do I really have to go out and buy a tart or else Cater will kick me out before I even get to plead my case with the dorm head?”

“Yep, per rule 53,” Cater said, winking. The amusement faded soon after, though. “I should let you know, though, that Riddle really looks forward to having the first slice of a tart, so he probably won’t forgive you unless it’s whole.”

Ace groaned. “I thought you said you wanted to just be our ‘kind, friendly senior’. Can’t you just, I don’t know, look the other way?”

“I said ‘outside of the dorm’, too,” Cater pointed out. 

Deuce frowned. “So… a whole tart. Isn’t that going to be expensive?”

Ace grimaced. “Yeah, I’m not exactly made out of money…” His eyes caught on Ito and he immediately tried to pout his way into their wallet.

“Ace, we had to con our way into getting food for all of us.”

Ace cursed as he realized that, yeah, no, he wasn’t going to get anything from the Yuus. Not because they didn’t want to help (though, perhaps, this was also the case depending on which Yuu you were talking about), but because they physically couldn’t.

“If we can get access to the school kitchens, maybe we could make a tart? I’d suggest our kitchen, but…” Kuroki said, wincing.

Cater nodded. “That’s how we get them in Heartslabyul, anyways. All of the tarts made for our Unbirthday parties are made by Trey, here, actually.”

Ace’s eyes widened. “You made that? Holy shit. If you’d told me they were bought, I’d have believed you.”

Enma gave a tiny smile. “Senpai, could they, maybe, use some of your stuff to make a tart? Or, at least, could they get a recipe?”

Trey hummed thoughtfully. “I’d be willing to help.”

“That’s even better than I thought,” Enma said, his smile widening.

Kuroki, however, was more skeptical. “But?”

“But,” agreed Trey. His lips pulled upwards at the corner in a kind of cheeky smirk. “It won’t be cheap.”

“Trey… -senpai, no disrespect, but we just said we’re poor,” Ito said with a cringe.

Trey snickered. “I’m not going to squeeze money out of the new kids, don’t worry.” He leaned forward to rest his head in his hand, thinking for a moment. “I think the tart Riddle wants to eat next… should be a chestnut tart.” He nodded once to himself. “If we’re going to make that, we’re gonna need a lot of chestnuts. I’m going to need you all to gather them from the chestnut trees by the botanical garden.”

Ace cringed. “How many do you need?”

“Ah… two, maybe three hundred?”

Deuce yelped. “That many?”

“And then I’ll need you to roast, peel, and puree them… I can do everything after that.”

“Ace, we aren’t helping you,” Grim decided.

“I wasn’t expecting any help from you,” Ace spat. Then he seemed to think better of it when faced with a glare from Kuroki. He looked up at the boy pleadingly.

“Can I go home?” Deuce asked.

“Ditto,” said Kuroki.

(Mostly out of pettiness. Enma was pretty sure that he would do it if Ace asked later.)

“Traitors!” Hissed Ace.

(Nevermind. Kuroki was definitely going to opt out now.)

Ace turned to Ito pleadingly.

Ito shrugged. “I’ve got work. I might be able to get off in time to help with the food prep, but I don’t think I’ll be able to help with the picking.”

Ace visibly deflated before turning to his final friend. He didn’t bother to screw up his face in a pitiful way, he knew that wouldn’t work, but he did lift his hands in an overexaggerated pleading gesture.

Enma shrugged. “I’ll help before and after my shift if you let me ask you questions about your magic later.”

Ace seemed to be considering the pros and cons of that. It was, apparently, a very difficult decision.

“Or you could always do it alone,” Enma said. He could always just read about it in a book, if he wanted, so he was pretty indifferent. It’d probably be more informative coming from a book, anyways…

Ace cursed. “Fine.”

Cater laughed at Ace’s misfortune but, surprisingly, was the one to come to his aid: “Come on now, nothing tastes more delicious than food that you make with your friends! You get to make some fun memories!”

Kuroki grimaced as his familiar’s eyes glimmered with greed.

“Don’t tell the dorm leader,” Trey said, leaning in conspiratorially. “But Mont Blanc tastes the best when it’s just baked. But only people that bake the tart get to try it.”

It looked like Kuroki and Grim’s fates were sealed. Grim slammed his front paws down on the table. “I’ll do it!”

Deuce snickered before screwing his face up thoughtfully. “Are there eggs in tarts?”

Trey gave him an odd look. “Yeah…?”

He nodded once to himself. “Then I’ll probably like it. I’ll help.”

“Oh, so you’ll help for the food but not for your friend.”

“Yeah, exactly,” said Deuce.

Kuroki groaned and rested his head in his hands. “What is it with this place and giving us manual labor?”