#accidentalprofession

[babyelephantblog-blog]

Accidental profession

I'm not really good at opening. So, I'll just jump right in.

Ok. So to this day I'm a teacher in a private high school. AT FIRST, I was a staff in this school foundation for about 5/6 months. Then, my boss ask me would you like to be a teacher. Well, she kind of forced me to be. She keep asking me continuously. And I keep saying no I wouldn't, and I can't. Because I think that I'm not capable of being a teacher. I see a teacher as a person to be looked up to, and I can't be that person.

My high school teacher once tell her story how she end up being a teacher. She hated being teacher, and keep saying that I will never be a teacher. But, I think life slap her in the face, and now she's a teacher. She said, never in your life, cursing what you don't want to be, because you might end up being one. I believe that. So I never said how much I don't want to be a teacher, because I'm afraid that I'll be one. (You can imagine how much I don't want to be a teacher, thereby I didn't dare to say it. Saying how much I don't want to be a teacher is like saying Voldemort name).

Short story, I end up being teacher in a new semester. I was actually replacing the previous teacher. My school can't find the replacement in time, so it's like an urgent event.

I wasn't graduated from education major. I never imagine my self become one, or even trained my self become one. I never been on training, or read anything about pedagogy. Even, I teach Sociology. The subject, although related to my major, however never deepen it. I was SO LOST. Like for real. You are free to imagine how was I the first day of teaching. In addition, I'm never being so confident to talk in public. I looks and sounds STUPID. Arghhhhhhh I even embrace to recall those memories :(.

Until now, I'm still nervous, minutes before I'm teaching. idk why. Ok that's all my story. Until we meet again, ciao!