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razorblade-richards26 · 2 months ago

Text

The home video

Scene 1:

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – DAY

The camera flickers on, showing a slightly shaky view of the living room. Johnny Cade sits in a swivel chair, trying to act serious as he stares into the camera, wearing a focused expression. Ponyboy stands behind the camera, adjusting the angle.

Ponyboy:(behind the camera) "Alright, Johnny. Just look into the camera and say, 'Welcome to our home movie.' Easy, right?"

Johnny:(nodding nervously) "Yeah, easy."

He takes a deep breath and smiles awkwardly into the lens.

Johnny:"Hi, my name is Johnny… uh…"

He pauses, fumbling over his words.

Johnny:(muttering) "Wait… what’s my name again?"

Ponyboy:(laughing) "Johnny, come on! You know your name!"

Johnny:(scratching his head) "Yeah, but I got nervous. Hold on."

He clears his throat, trying again. He stares directly into the camera with more confidence.

Johnny:"Hi, my name is Johnny… Cade! Welcome to our flim!"

Ponyboy:(stifling laughter) "Film, Johnny. It's 'film,' not 'flim.'"

Johnny:(facepalming) "Aw man, I messed it up again."

Ponyboy:(stepping around the camera) "Here, let me show you how it’s done. It’s not that hard."

Johnny steps aside, and Ponyboy takes a seat in the chair, attempting to do the introduction himself. He positions the chair so that he can do a cool spin before introducing the film.

Ponyboy:(smirking) "Watch and learn, Johnny. This is how you do it."

He spins the chair around, but he spins too fast and ends up jerking to a halt, clutching his back.

Ponyboy:(grimacing in pain) "Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh man, I think I pulled something…"

Johnny:(snickering) "See? It ain't that easy."

Ponyboy gets up, rubbing his back, trying to play it cool.

Ponyboy:"Alright, let’s just skip the chair spin."

Johnny takes the chair back and tries again, now looking more determined. He squares his shoulders and leans forward, concentrating.

Johnny:(real serious) "Hi, my name is Johnny Cade, and welcome to our… film."

There’s a brief silence. Johnny smiles proudly. Ponyboy looks pleased.

Ponyboy:"Finally! That was perfect."

Johnny grins, relieved.

Johnny:"See, I told you I could do it."

Ponyboy:(pressing buttons) "Yeah, except… I didn’t hit record."

Johnny’s face drops as he realizes all his effort was for nothing.

Johnny:(throwing his hands up) "Are you kidding me?"

Ponyboy shrugs sheepishly.

Ponyboy:(sighing) "Let’s just… skip the intro."

(the camera then shifts to ponyboys camera focused on the curtis household).

Ponyboy:My name is ponyboy, and this is my life in tulsa.

CUT TO:

EXT. CURTIS FRONT PORCH – DAY

The music continues as Ponyboy runs out onto the porch. He stands in front of the house, holding up a cardboard sign with "Darrel Curtis" written in big letters.

Ponyboy:(dramatically announcing) "And first up, we’ve got the man himself… Darrel Curtis!"

The camera zooms in awkwardly on Darry, who’s standing on the porch doing pull-ups on the doorframe, completely unaware he’s being filmed. Darry looks over, noticing Ponyboy holding the sign, and narrows his eyes.

Darry:(confused) "What are you doing, Pony?"

Ponyboy:(grinning) "Just introducing the cast, Darry!"

Darry:(sighs) "Make it quick. I’ve still got 30 more pull-ups to do."

Ponyboy flips the cardboard cue card, holding up a new sign as the theme music continues.

CUT TO:

INT. CURTIS KITCHEN – DAY

Next up is Sodapop, standing in the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand. Ponyboy sneaks up behind him, holding a sign with "Sodapop Curtis" written in colorful letters.

Ponyboy:"Next, we have the heartthrob, the energy of the crew… Sodapop Curtis!"

Soda looks over his shoulder, noticing the camera for the first time. He grins and strikes a pose, sandwich still in hand.

Sodapop:(laughing) "Well, if it ain’t my big debut! What’s up, world?"

Ponyboy:(mockingly) "Yeah, yeah, Soda, show off that sandwich like it's gonna win you an award."

Sodapop:(winking) "Hey, food is art."

CUT TO:

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – DAY

The music transitions as Two-Bit Mathews is lounging on the couch, flipping through a comic book. Ponyboy steps into frame with another cardboard sign that says "Two-Bit Mathews" with little doodles of a beer bottle and a joke book.

Ponyboy:"Next up, the wisecracker of the crew… Two-Bit Mathews!"

Two-Bit glances at the camera, casually saluting with his comic book.

Two-Bit:(grinning) "Always gotta keep things light, y’know? Somebody’s gotta keep you guys from getting too serious."

Ponyboy:(teasing) "Like lifting that beer can’s gonna keep you in shape."

Two-Bit:(laughing) "Hey, you’d be surprised. This arm’s all muscle!"

CUT TO:

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – SAME DAY

The camera zooms in on Johnny Cade, who’s nervously trying to introduce himself while still holding the camera.

Ponyboy:"Next, we got the quiet one… Johnny Cade!"

Johnny holds up his own sign that says “Johnny Cade,” nervously shrugging.

Johnny:(shyly) "Uh, hey… Yeah, I’m here too."

Suddenly, Dallas Winston steps into the frame, snatching the sign from Johnny’s hand and tossing it aside.

Dallas:"Forget the quiet intro, Johnny. Lemme show 'em how it's done."

Ponyboy:(dramatic voice) "And here’s the one and only Dallas Winston…"

Dally gives a cocky smirk to the camera and lights a cigarette.

Dallas:(leaning in) "Don’t mess with me, or you’ll regret it. That’s my intro."

CUT TO:

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – LATER

The camera now focuses on Ace, sitting cross-legged on the floor, completely ignoring the camera.

Ponyboy:"And last, but definitely not least, we have the wild card… Ace!"

Ace gives a quick, annoyed glance at the camera, then looks away, uninterested.

Ace:"Seriously, Pony? I told you I don’t do intros."

Ponyboy:(teasing) "Aw, come on, Ace! Show the world your cute side!"

Ace rolls her eyes but smirks slightly.

Ace:(muttering) "Fine, whatever. Hi."

CUT TO:

EXT. CURTIS YARD – DAY

The entire gang is now outside, standing in a line, posing dramatically like they’re in a superhero team-up movie. Ponyboy stands in front of them, holding a final cardboard sign that says "The Gang" with all their names scribbled on it. The camera zooms out, capturing the whole crew striking goofy poses. Two-Bit flexes comically, Sodapop strikes a heroic stance, Johnny tries to stay serious but cracks a smile, Dally leans back looking effortlessly cool, Darry stands like a dad who’s just happy to get this over with, and Ace just shakes her head at the silliness.

Ponyboy:And all other friends in “ the world of the greaser ga-”(giving up) ok i give up, whos ever gonna watch this.

Scene 2: "Moobus Gelatinous vs. Backhandus Ballerus"

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – DAY

The scene begins with Johnny holding the camera shakily as Ponyboy does a dramatic narration, trying to sound like the narrator of a wildlife documentary. The camera zooms in on Sodapop, lying lazily on the couch with his legs up, flipping through a magazine.

Ponyboy (narrating dramatically):“In the wild plains of the Curtis household, we encounter the rare and elusive creature known as the… Moobus Gelatinous.”

The camera focuses in closer on Sodapop, who is now scratching his head in confusion.

Ponyboy (continuing):“This creature, otherwise known as Sodapop Curtis, has adapted perfectly to the couch, where it spends hours conserving its energy for… absolutely nothing.”

Soda finally realizes he’s being filmed and tosses the magazine aside with a grin.

Sodapop:“Moobus Gelatinous, huh? Yeah, well, I am pretty slick.”

He smirks and strikes a goofy pose, flexing like he’s some sort of wrestling champion.

Johnny (from behind the camera):“Dude, it’s a documentary. Be serious.”

Sodapop:(laughing) “You expect me to be serious? Good luck with that.”

Ponyboy (dramatically):“But little does the Moobus Gelatinous know… danger lurks nearby.”

The camera zooms out as Darry bursts through the front door carrying a bag of groceries, looking completely tired but determined. He tosses the bag on the table with a huff.

Ponyboy (whispering):“And here, we witness the entrance of a natural predator… the Backhandus Ballerus.”

The camera zooms in on Darry, who starts putting the groceries away. Soda, still lounging on the couch, eyes the bag hungrily. He quietly gets up and approaches the groceries like a sneaky animal hunting its prey.

Ponyboy (whispering, overly dramatic):“The Moobus approaches… stalking the prey… ready to scavenge for food.”

Johnny:“Dude, you sound like an off-brand Attenborough.”

Ponyboy:(faking offense) “I’m trying to set the mood!”

Soda reaches into the bag, his fingers just grazing a piece of fried chicken. But as he’s about to snatch it—

Darry:(not even looking up) “Soda, don’t even think about it.”

Soda freezes, giving the camera a comical wide-eyed look.

Ponyboy (dramatically whispering):“The predator has spotted its prey…”

Sodapop:(grinning) “Come on, Darry. Just a bite?”

Darry:(firm) “I just bought that. You’ve had all day to eat.”

Sodapop:(mock serious) “But the Moobus Gelatinous needs sustenance!”

Johnny (laughing from behind the camera):“This is gold.”

Suddenly, Soda lunges for the chicken, but Darry moves faster, slapping Soda’s hand away. The camera zooms in on the chaos as Soda makes another attempt, reaching in with both hands this time. Darry, now fully engaged, blocks him with a sharp backhanded slap to the wrist.

Ponyboy (narrating):“And thus begins the ancient battle… Moobus Gelatinous vs. Backhandus Ballerus!”

Darry:(rolling his eyes) “You guys are ridiculous.”

Sodapop (grinning, mock dramatic):“Never underestimate the Moobus!”

Soda reaches for the chicken again, but this time, Darry swats him back so hard, Soda stumbles into the couch, laughing. He bounces right back up and tries again, throwing his whole body into it.

Johnny (behind the camera):“Get him, Moobus! Get the chicken!”

The battle intensifies, with Darry blocking every one of Soda’s moves. Suddenly, Soda makes one final desperate lunge and—success! He snatches the chicken out of the bag and holds it above his head in triumph.

Sodapop (victoriously):“I am victorious!”

Ponyboy (narrating):“With the use of his deadly defense mechanism—the bite, Moobus Gelatinous emerges triumphant, scavenging his well-earned prey.”

Just as Soda prepares to take a big bite, Darry grabs him by the back of the shirt collar, yanking him backward and sending the chicken flying into the air. Ponyboy catches it mid-flight, like a football player snagging a pass.

Darry:(half-laughing, half-annoyed) “Give me a break, you two! And put that chicken back.”

Ponyboy (grinning at the camera):“And so, the Backhandus Ballerus remains undefeated.”

Soda slumps dramatically on the couch, feigning defeat.

Sodapop:“I’ll get you next time, Darry. The Moobus never gives up!”

The camera pans to Johnny, who’s trying to keep the shot steady as he laughs.

Scene 3: Dallas’s “3D Without Glasses” Prank

INT. CURTIS LIVING ROOM – LATER

The scene opens with Dallas Winston standing in front of the camera, a sly grin plastered on his face. He’s clearly up to no good, and the mischievous glint in his eyes is enough to make anyone suspicious.

Dallas:(leaning in toward the camera, speaking in a low voice) “Alright, listen up, everyone. I’m about to blow your minds. Y’all ready for some high-quality cinema? Forget those fancy theaters. I’m about to give you 3D… without the glasses.”

Johnny (from behind the camera):(skeptical) “3D without glasses? Really, Dal?”

Dallas:(raising an eyebrow, cocky) “Trust me. This is gonna be the best thing you’ve ever seen.”

Ponyboy:(frowning, already skeptical) "Dally, this better not be another one of your dumb pranks."

Dallas:"Oh, come on, Pony. When have I ever—"

Ponyboy:"Every time."

He takes a step back, putting some distance between himself and the camera, while gesturing for Johnny to zoom in.

Dallas:“Now, here’s how it works. You gotta focus real close, alright? Keep your eyes locked on the screen and don’t blink. If you do it right, it’s gonna pop out at you like you’re in the movie.”

Johnny (sarcastic):“Yeah, sure. Real scientific, Dal.”

Ponyboy (off-screen):(muttering) “This is gonna be a disaster.”

Dallas (smirking):“Shut up and watch. You’ll see.”

Dallas takes a deep breath and straightens up, putting on a serious face for the camera. The atmosphere gets strangely tense as he motions for Johnny to zoom in even closer.

Dallas:“Alright. Focus hard. It’s gonna feel like the screen’s coming at ya in 3… 2… 1…”

Suddenly, the screen cuts to a jump-scare—a loud, eerie scream and the image of a creepy monster’s face lunging directly at the camera. It’s edited poorly, but the effect is jarring enough to catch anyone off guard.

Johnny (startled, behind the camera):"Holy—! What the hell is that?!"

Ponyboy (jumping out of his seat):"DAL!"

The camera jerks violently, showing Johnny flinching in real-time, the shot getting wobbly as he nearly drops it. There’s a clatter of noise, followed by both Ponyboy and Johnny shouting in surprise.

Johnny (laughing, breathless):“Dallas! What the hell, man?!”

Dallas (cracking up):“Gotcha, didn’t I? 3D without glasses, just like I promised!”

Ponyboy (annoyed but laughing):“You almost gave me a heart attack!”

The camera swings back to Dallas, who is now doubled over in laughter, thoroughly enjoying the chaos he’s caused.

Dallas (grinning, wiping his eyes):“Aw, come on. You gotta admit, that was brilliant. You should’ve seen your faces!”

Johnny (still laughing):“I think you made my heart skip a beat! That wasn’t 3D, man, that was 10D scare tactics.”

Ponyboy (shaking his head):“You’re lucky the camera didn’t break.”

Dallas (still smirking):“Eh, don’t worry. I’ll get y’all again soon enough. Next time, I’m gonna make it really pop out at ya.”

Johnny (grinning):“Next time, we’re unplugging the TV.”

Scene 4: Paul Holden’s Konami Code Madness

EXT. STREETS OF TULSA – DAY

The scene opens with Ponyboy and Johnny walking down a sidewalk, both holding an old, wobbly camera, trying to focus it on their subject—a Soc, Paul Holden. They’re sneaking behind him, talking in hushed voices like wildlife documentarians.

Ponyboy (whispering to the camera):"Okay, so here we have one of the most elusive Socs in their natural habitat… Paul Holden."

Johnny (mimicking an Australian accent):"Notice how he moves all smug-like. Not a care in the world. A true alpha."

Ponyboy (giggling):"Johnny, stop it. You sound like one of those TV narrators."

Johnny:"Exactly the point, Pony. Gotta make it sound epic."

The two snicker before the camera zooms in on Paul, who walks with purpose. Suddenly, Paul pulls something from his pocket—a handheld gaming device, the latest craze among the Socs.

Ponyboy:"What the heck is he doing?"

The boys watch closely as Paul looks around, making sure no one is watching. Then, with precision, his fingers tap on the game in a specific pattern.

Johnny (narrating again):"And here we see the rare Konami Code… up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A…"

Ponyboy (gasping in awe):"Dude, no way… is he seriously—"

As they watch, Paul suddenly hits an invisible block above his head, just like in a video game, and out pops a dollar bill. Johnny and Ponyboy’s jaws drop.

Johnny (freaking out):"Did you just see that?! He got money… from thin air!"

Ponyboy (in disbelief):"I gotta try this!"

(Paul takes his newfound dollar and casually walks into a convenience store, leaving Johnny and Ponyboy behind to gape at each other.)

Johnny:"This guy's like a human cheat code."

EXT. SCHOOL – LATER

(Paul Holden is at school now, and Johnny and Ponyboy are still following him with the camera. Paul is in class, sitting at the back of the room during a test. He pulls out the same gaming device and punches in the Konami Code again.)

Johnny (whispering):"He’s gonna do it again!"

Ponyboy:"What’s he trying to pull now?"

(They watch as Paul sneakily hits the code, and suddenly, his test paper fills itself out. Johnny and Ponyboy watch in awe as the teacher walks by, oblivious to Paul's genius.)

Ponyboy (incredulous):"He’s literally cheating with a cheat code…"

Johnny:"This is insane. I’m trying this on my next test."

Ponyboy:"No, you’re not!"

EXT. TRACK FIELD – LATER

The next scene cuts to Paul running on the school track, competing in a race. Johnny and Ponyboy are still following him, now more intrigued than ever.

Ponyboy (laughing):"No way he uses the code here."

Johnny:"Watch him."

Paul, mid-race, slows down just enough to reach into his pocket and tap the code on his device again. In an instant, he speeds up, outrunning every other runner like he just activated a turbo boost.

Ponyboy:"I swear, it’s like he’s in a video game."

Johnny (laughing):"Who even needs to train when you’ve got cheat codes?"

EXT. SCHOOL BASKETBALL COURT – LATER

(Finally, the scene cuts to Ponyboy attempting to use the Konami Code himself. He stands under the basketball hoop, facing a suspiciously floating block they set up earlier. Johnny films him with the shaky camera.)

Ponyboy (determined):"Okay, I’ve got this. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A…"

(He jumps and slams his head against the block. Instead of coins, the block just collapses onto Ponyboy’s head, knocking him to the ground.)

Johnny (trying not to laugh):"Pony? You okay?"

Ponyboy (dazed):"I’m seeing stars, man… I didn’t summon any money, just a headache."

Johnny (laughing):"Maybe you didn’t get the code right."

Ponyboy (dazed):“Please just call soda”

Scene 5: Two-Bit’s Cool Lessons

INT. CURTIS HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Ponyboy is behind the camera, adjusting the focus as Johnny fiddles with the lens. They’re getting ready to film Two-Bit, who’s standing in the middle of the living room, wearing his signature grin and acting like he’s about to deliver some life-changing advice.

Two-Bit (pointing at the camera):"Alright, folks, gather ‘round! Today, I’m gonna teach you how to be the coolest cat in town. Step one: muscles. Chicks love muscles."

Ponyboy (from behind the camera):"You sure about that?"

Two-Bit (scoffing):"‘Course I am, Ponyboy. You ever see a guy with noodle arms getting the girl? Exactly. Now, watch this."

He walks over to a pair of dumbbells that are sitting on the floor. However, instead of lifting the heavier weights, he picks up the smallest one—barely more than a few pounds—and starts lifting it with exaggerated grunts.

Two-Bit (straining for effect):"Gotta get these guns, man. Just you wait, in no time, I’ll be built like Darry."

Johnny (smirking):"You’re lifting a toddler’s weight, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit (laughing):"Hey, it’s all part of the process! You start small, work your way up. Don’t judge the method—judge the results!"

He flexes his biceps, but they barely move. Ponyboy snickers, trying to hold the camera steady.

Ponyboy:"Yeah, maybe in a hundred years."

Two-Bit:"Hey, you gotta start somewhere!"

INT. CURTIS HOUSE – KITCHEN – LATER

Two-Bit is now holding a bunch of crumpled dollar bills in his hands, looking directly into the camera.

Two-Bit:"Alright, lesson number two: cash. You want the ladies’ attention? You gotta have some fliff—cash, dough, moolah."

He dramatically throws the crumpled bills in the air, letting them flutter to the floor.

Two-Bit (with a grin):"See? ‘Cause nothing says romance like making it rain."

Johnny (deadpan):"Yeah, except that’s like ten dollars total."

Two-Bit:"Hey, money’s money, Johnnycakes. And it’s the thought that counts. Besides, watch this."

He walks over to Cherry, Marcia, and Beverly, who are sitting on the porch outside, enjoying the afternoon. Two-Bit flashes them his signature smile and strolls up, trying to act smooth. The camera follows him.

Two-Bit (charming):"Hey, ladies, got a quarter? I told my mom I’d call her when I fell in love."

Marcia looks at him with a raised eyebrow but hands him her cell phone instead.

Two-Bit (confused):"Uh, no, I meant like… a quarter…"

Marcia (smiling):"Call her. You can use my phone."

There’s an awkward silence as Two-Bit holds the phone. Ponyboy and Johnny are behind the camera, barely containing their laughter.

Two-Bit (nervous, to the camera):"Uh… yeah, this is going well."

He quickly dials a number, putting the phone to his ear.

Two-Bit (into the phone):"Soda? Yeah, you gotta come get me, man. I think I just embarrassed myself into oblivion."

He hands the phone back to Marcia, gives a sheepish grin, and walks away, his head down in shame.

Ponyboy (laughing behind the camera):"Smooth, Two-Bit. Real smooth."

Johnny (grinning):"Maybe next time don’t ask to borrow a phone to call your mom."

Two-Bit (mumbling):"Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic."

Scene 6: Commercial break

[Cut to Johnny with a grumpy expression with two-bit rubbing her chin]

STEVE and TWO-BIT: [Singing voice-over] It's Baby Johnny, the living baby doll!

[Cut to Steve and Johnny on the bed. Steve is dressed up with a coral pink shirt, white shorts and a brown hair wig with a Daisy in it. ]

STEVE : He likes to eat his cookies!

[Steve shoves the cookie onto Johnny's face, which turns into cookie crumbles. Steve then rubs johnny’s chin with his finger]

STEVE and TWO-BIT: [Singing voice-over] It's Baby johnny, the living baby doll!

[Cut to two-bit and Johnny at the dinner table. Two-bit is likewise dressed up with a blonde hair wig with a red hair bow and hot pink shoes, and is holding a baby bottle]

TWO-BIT: he likes to drink milk! [Sticks baby bottle in Johnny's mouth] he's really drinking it!

[Johnny spits out milk at two-bit. Cut to the backyard. Steve and two-bit are singing, as two-bit holds Johnny]

STEVE and TWO-BIT: It's Baby Johnny, the living bab-

[Johnny karate-chops Steve’s face]

STEVE : OW!

TWO-BIT: Oh forget it, man. Let's try something else.

STEVE : No, no, no! This gave me an idea.

[Cut to an alley full of trash]

STEVE : [Holding johnny, imitates guitar sounds] It's the ANNIHILATOR!

[ Johnny smashes the trash, making it fly in all directions]

STEVE : With realistic kung-fu karate-chop action! He can break anything with his tiny hand!

[TWO-BIT holding johnny's hand slowly comes up]

STEVE : Nothing can resist him!

[Camera changes to johnny karate-choping a car's side window, a tree with wood particles, a brick, the wall of a house and his face]

STEVE : Cars! Trees! Bricks! Houses! His own face!

[Cut to Steve, Two-Bit, and johnny at a dump field ]

STEVE and TWO-BIT: It's the ANNIHILATOR!

Ninja George II

[Ponyboy holds a sign saying "Ninja George II"]

JOHNNY: Ninja George... two.

[Ponyboy puts down sign and walks to the scene]

JOHNNY: [Deep voice] Ninja George!

PONYBOY: [Raspy] Yes, Colonel?

JOHNNY: You have to help us defeat evil once again!

PONYBOY: I can't. I promised I would never raise my fists again.

[Ponyboy’s foot pops up with a sandwich on it, and Ponyboy takes a bite, then the foot goes back down]

JOHNNY: But Ninja George! Dr. Downer has captured your sister, Ninja Georgina!

PONYBOY: Alright then. But first I need to train.

[Cut to Ponyboy hitting and fighting "with air." Cut back to the previous scene]

PONYBOY: Now I'm ready!

[Johnny throws an orange and Ponyboy immediately puts his hand out to block the attack]

JOHNNY: Yes, you are.

[Cut to a cardboard model of the earth, a sky, and a Ponyboy puppet,which is just the cutout of a horse, traveling on the earth]

JOHNNY: [Voice-over] Ninja George traveled far and wide, but it was full of dangers. On the way he met a giant, so he had to defeat it

[Ponyboy's cardboard model attacks a giant's cardboard model]

JOHNNY: [Voice-over] And then he met a dragon, so he had to defeat it.

[Ponyboy's cardboard model attacks a dragon's cardboard model]

JOHNNY: [Voice-over] And then he met a beautiful woman, who he fell in love with, but he wasn't emotionally ready, so he had to defeat it.

PONYBOY: [Voice-over as Ponyboy's cardboard model attacks the woman] I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me.

JOHNNY: [Voice-over] And then he arrived at the evil temple of Dr. Downer.

[Cut back to the real Ponyboy and johnny]

PONYBOY: Give me back my sister!

JOHNNY: [With robot helmet] Dun dun DUNNN!! [Removes helmet, revealing his Colonel form]

PONYBOY: [Gasps and points] Colonel! It was you all along?!

JOHNNY: Yes! I tricked you into coming here to defeat you!

PONYBOY: But why didn't you attack me before my training?!

JOHNNY: Uhhh... let's fight!

PONYBOY: Ay ya ya! [Punching in front of himself]

JOHNNY: [Kicking in front of himself] Huh! Huh! Huh!

[Johnny accidentally kicks Ponyboy cheek. Silence. Ponyboy bursts into tears, rubbing his cheek, as johnny throws off his shades]

JOHNNY: No, no, no, no, no! Please don't cry! [Starts crying] Please! You know that - when you cry, I cry. What are we gonna do? We're supposed to jump through a window in the next scene!

PONYBOY: We need another ending.

[Cut to Ponyboy and Johnny, hugging each other]

PONYBOY: I'm sorry I made you feel like the second best ninja in the world, Dr. Downer.

JOHNNY: No, Ninja George. It's me who's sorry for being such a prissy little jerk and capturing your sister.

[They stop hugging and shake hands]

PONYBOY: I think we both learned that expressing our feelings is way better than a fight to the death.

PONYBOY and JOHNNY: [Throw hands in the air] Yaaay! Mega happy ending!

PONYBOY : [Walks over to the camera and grabs it] Alright, how do you eject the tape?

JOHNNY: It's the red button!

PONYBOY : You sure? [Menu pops up with an arrow slowly going down the list of icons, first being eject, last being delete] I thought the red button was to record.

JOHNNY: Nah, it's definitely eject.

PONYBOY : [Arrow is on delete] Alright! Aw, man, I can't wait to see this!

[Ponyboy presses the delete button, causing the whole screen to glitch up, and the episode ends]

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