#abusers too that was probably the second although there is someone I would want to know if he died | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sopebubbles · 1 year

Text

Master List

Seven

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: Hoseok goes into heat and everyone else struggles. I'm honestly not gonna give more away than that.

Warnings: talk of mpreg (thats just gonna come up a lot in this story), like one mention of a penis, we are mostly glossing over hobis heat tbh bc i dont feel like doing smut in this chapter, do alphas have a breeding kink? Or is that just their nature? 🤔 mentions of past abuse, homelessness

WC: 6.7k

If Yoongi had known ahead of time that Hoseok was going into heat, then of course he would not have offered to take someone's eight hour shift in addition to his own. Sometimes the needs to provide and protect really opposed each other. Fucking capitalism. He already hated the idea of it because sixteen hours was way too many to be away from you, especially when sitting across the room from you was a struggle. Yoongi wanted to be next to you, against you, touching your skin. Not in a sexual way. He figured that wasn't a possibility, and maybe wouldn't be for a very long time. That was fine. He had six lovers—well, five if you consider the fact that Yoongi and Namjoon loved each other very much but could never quite work their way around sex with one another. He didn't need that from you. He just needed you. He needed you to need him in a way he had always wanted to be needed, so he figured a little overtime when the opportunity arose would be a good thing to ensure he could provide for you.

Yoongi hadn't grown up with a pack or an alpha. His mother, a beta, claimed his father was an alpha who died before he was born, but Yoongi always thought it was more likely he just left them. He couldn't really blame the guy. Alpha was a big job to fill, at least if you did it right. Not everyone was cut out for it just because they were born an alpha. When he was fourteen, Yoongi's mom joined a pack with a new alpha, and although Yoongi never fully felt part of that pack, he did have a great deal of respect for the pack alpha who took them in and demonstrated what it meant to protect and provide.

After Yoongi had presented as an alpha, he dreamed of being the leader of his own pack, but his attempts to build a pack in his early twenties failed. He quickly learned that a pack wasn't made out of sheer force of will. You needed the right personalities and to work with each other. No amount of leadership could make love where there was none, and Yoongi wanted a pack that was bound by more than just convenience. When he met Jungkook, he found that a pack like that already existed, and if Yoongi had to sacrifice being its leader to be a part of it, he decided he could live with that. He could still be a good alpha even if he wasn't at the top.

Part of being a good alpha meant helping with heats, so it was frustrating not being able to leave work to be there like Jin could. Namjoon and Yoongi were lucky to have rut leave, but most sap employers didn't understand the importance of being available for packmates, so they just had to do the best they could. At least Seokjin and Taehyung could always be there, and Jimin was allowed a few days leave by his shelter for Hoseok's heats. Jungkook, too, would have to do the best he could, but he usually called in at least a couple of sick days to help out.

Yoongi's plan was to check on you first and then check in with the pack before getting a shower to wash off the scents of other people. Most likely he would try to do that before he even approached Hoseok or the omega would go crazy. As soon as he opened the front door, he could tell that his heat was in full effect. Hobi's brown sugar was thick molasses and his moans could be heard easily from upstairs. There wasn't a packmate in sight, which probably meant he was in full all pups in the nest mode. He might not be able to sneak that shower after all. But he still had to check on you.

The door to the first floor bedroom you had occupied for the last five nights was closed. Could you be sleeping through this? Or were you hiding instead? He decided to knock, but received no response. Fear clutched in his stomach. Could the pack have neglected you so much in their efforts to care for Hoseok that you had passed out again? Yoongi turned the knob frantically to get into your room, only for his heart to drop through the floor. All of the soft, fluffy blankets that Hoseok had made into your nest were folded neatly in a stack on the bed. There wasn't a piece of trash or mislaid item in the room. It was empty, and Yoongi didn't need to look for you to know you were gone. He checked the bathroom anyway, just to confirm what he already knew. He dragged both hands through his hair as if he could clear the fog of panic. Where did you go? How long have you been gone?

Maybe protecting is more important than providing.

"Fuck," he muttered just before hearing Hoseok's cry of ecstacy ring through the house. He didn't emerge from the room until a few moments later when he heard clumsy footsteps hurry down the stairs. He could easily recognize that they came from Jimin, so he stepped into the hall.

"Hyung!" Jimin called excitedly. "You're finally home!" The beta walked to the kitchen and began to load his arms up with cold water bottles. "Hobi just took his first knot so you better hurry and get changed before he starts getting super possessive. What's wrong, hyung?"

Yoongi looked away when the younger man looked at his face. "I'll take a shower down here and meet you up there in a minute."

"What about Y/N?"

"She's gone," Yoongi said softly. What was left of Jimin's smile collapsed.

"What?"

"Her room is empty. She's gone," he repeated.

Jimin dumped the bottles in his arms onto the kitchen table and hurried toward the spare room. "No, she was here a couple hours ago." He pushed the door open to check the scene but he found what the alpha said to be true. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know."

"When?"

"I don't know, Jimin." Yoongi felt empty, but he didn't want to blame it on them. He was the one who should have been there watching over you. He was the one who fucked up.

"But Jin told her she could stay. She said she'd think about it," Jimin spoke just as softly as he did.

"I guess she decided not to."

Jimin turned to his alpha looking for answers. "What do we do?"

Yoongi sighed and tried to contain his grief. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to leave the house right now and dig up every instinct of his to hunt you down through this city and bring you back where you belonged. But that would be barbaric and archaic of him, and exactly the opposite of what you needed. You must have left for a reason. It didn't mean they couldn't find you and convince you to come back. You weren't dead. At least you weren't injured, or at least he hoped. But that wasn't the only problem right now. He still had an omega in heat, an omega who he knew—even though he was convinced no one could care as much as he did—would also be worried about you, and disappointed that you were gone.

"I'm going to shower. You go help with Hobi. Don't say anything."

"But–"

"We have to wait for the right time. When he's a little clear headed," Yoongi reasoned.

Jimin nodded sadly, gathering the water bottles into his arms again. "Okay. Don't take too long." Yoongi pursed his lips and nodded. "Hyung, I'm sorry. I really wanted her to stay, too. I wish–"

"Let's discuss it later, Jimin," Yoongi cut him off and gestured toward the stairs for the beta to go. If Jimin got him talking about how much he wanted her there, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from leaving to find you. And as much as he wanted you, this was his pack right now, and he owed it to Hobi to be around. So he went to the shower you had spent yesterday afternoon cleaning and turned on the cold water. He tried his best to push his thoughts of you out of his mind and meditate his scent into something that wasn't too sad as he scrubbed himself clean. He couldn't think about where you might be right now. Where would you even go? Back to that awful shelter? Why couldn't you just stay? Was it something he'd done, or one of the other guys? Were there just too many of them? He could have taken you away, somewhere for just the two of you. No, he'd have to take Jimin, too. Fuck. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He needed to think about his pack, not the omega who wasn't his. He let the cold water run steadily over his face for a long time, emptying his head of any thoughts except the feeling of the cold stream. Finally, he shut the water off and shook the water from his hair before he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

His hair was still dripping when he arrived at the landing outside the pack's nest room. Through the open door, Yoongi could see Hoseok lying on Namjoon's expansive chest while Jungkook wiped his neck and shoulders with a damp cloth. By the looks of it, Jin's knot had only just deflated, but he still laid behind his lover, talking in a whisper with Jimin while the beta fed him grapes.

Jin looked at Yoongi as he stepped carefully over a squeaky floorboard and into the room. He took in his naked chest and the towel slung low across his hips as the alpha came to the edge of the nest. Yoongi's eyes roamed over the pack omega as if asking a question.

"He just fell asleep," Namjoon answered, stroking his fingers through Hoseok's dark brown hair.

"Did you shower downstairs?" Jin asked. Yoongi nodded. "Was that a good idea?" The pack alpha asked and it almost sounded like a warning.

Yoongi looked at him sharply. "It wasn't a problem." He sat at the edge of the bed and Hoseok began to stir, clearly not deep in sleep.

"Yoongi?" The omega called softly.

Yoongi crawled up to lay himself over Hoseok's lower half, resting his chin on the man's hip. "I'm right here, my love."

"You're home," he mumbled and Yoongi hummed in response. "Bring little pup here. Need everyone in the nest."

Yoongi caressed the skin of Hoseok's side. "I would if I could, my love. But you know that I can't." Hoseok pouted. "She's not our omega. You are."

"Want her to be my omega," Hoseok moaned.

"I know, Hobi. Me, too."

Hoseok turned onto his back and pulled at Yoongi's shoulders to get him closer. "Alpha," he crooned. "Need your knot alpha." Hoseok pushed aside the towel from his hips to reach for his cock.

Yoongi kissed his lips softly. "I know you do, baby. But you know the rules. You can only have Jinnie's knot so you can have his pup," he reminded, brushing hair away from Hoseok's eyes. He looked over at the other alpha, who stared back with dark, intent eyes.

"You can fuck our sweet omega, Yoongi. You just have to use a condom," Jin said.

Yoongi suppressed a sigh. He'd always hated this rule of Jin's ever since it had started a year ago. Sure, they could fuck normally outside of Hobi's heat, but in order to ensure when he got pregnant, the baby would be Jin's, the others always had to use protection.

"I will, if that's what my Hobi wants," Yoongi agreed with a soft kiss to his scent gland. It wasn't that he was unwilling. He would still get to feel Hoseok. He would still cum. But his instincts knew that he wouldn't be able to breed his omega, and it left him feeling deeply unsatisfied every time.

Hoseok moaned, "Need to feel you alpha." So Yoongi took the condom that Jungkook offered.

Seokjin and Yoongi had grown up just as differently as you and Hoseok. Even if Yoongi's situation had never been as grim as yours, he knew what it was like to go without and to feel like an outsider. It was hard to make friends with other Lykos sometimes when the other kids had strict packs or so many siblings they didn't need other playmates. It certainly wasn't any easier to make friends with Saps, who would always treat him as a little different. And constantly moving as his mother did her best to keep them afloat in a world definitely not designed for single mothers never helped to maintain whatever friendships he did happen to make. Finding the pack and living with them for five years was the most stability he had ever known.

Seokjin’s life had been the definition of stability. He was born in the house where three previous generations of his family had lived. People wanted to be associated with him wherever he went—sure it was because of his connections to the most powerful Lykos in the country, but at least he never felt unwanted. His older brothers and sisters had been his playmates, at least until they all presented, and as the youngest he was always doted on. And then there was Hoseok, who had clung to Seokjin first and soon found he would never get away, not that he wanted to.

Jin's family had a long lineage full of stereotypical alphas. Not in brute force like in the days before integration with Saps where physical power was power. But they had learned in the early years to cultivate political power in the public sphere. Nearly every alpha in his family had a position in government, elected or otherwise. Seokjin had only narrowly escaped that career path because he had so many older alpha siblings, and because he managed to convince his mother that having a member of the family who wasn't involved in politics would make their image as a collective a little less power hungry. Deep down he didn't have the ambition. At 20, he already knew that he wanted to do enough to have a happy and comfortable life with the man he loved, and to not have to make the kind of sacrifices other members of his family had to make for power.

At home, the alphas of his pack had been the kind to demand respect and to dole out punishment when it wasn't immediately given. Seokjin had never wanted to be that kind of alpha, one who needed to be obeyed, or who purposely filled his pack with omegas and betas so that he would be on top. Unlike Yoongi, he hadn't aspired to be a pack alpha, only to be Hoseok's alpha. It just so happened that he met several other alphas that they both came to love—and if having more alphas for Hoseok took some of the burden off of him, then that was a bonus.

Jin had never shown such toxic alpha traits until a year ago, and since everyone had tiptoed around the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in his personality, no one knew what had changed. It had been a meeting with his mother, which had taken place at his office so none of the pack knew. It wasn't that his birth pack disapproved of his pack exactly. It was just that none of them could do anything to support the power of the family, so his mother in particular didn't see any reason to be involved with them very often. Only Jin and his husband were ever invited to public events, and for the most part everyone was perfectly happy with the situation. There was only so much limelight to go around and most of his siblings had no problems soaking it up.

That didn't mean his mother was disinterested in his future though. She was especially interested in him having pups. He and Hoseok had been married for nearly a decade now, without a single baby.

"We've just been waiting for things to get settled. It will happen when the time is right," he insisted once again. This conversation occurred at least twice a year.

"Well, settle them. You're the alpha. It's your job to decide when and how things happen for your pack, Seokjin."

"It's not that simple–"

His mother threw her hands in the air. When would her son learn to take some initiative? "Of course it is! You haven't added anyone to your pack in several years. I'd say things are quite settled. You need to have a child. You're not getting any younger, and neither is Hoseok. You have a bloodline to continue."

"Mom," he groaned. "You have half a dozen grandchildren already. Why do you need to pressure me?"

"It's not about quantity. Don't you want to be a father?"

"Of course I do." It was true. He'd always wanted a child with Hobi. That was never in question.

"Listen, Jinnie. Maybe it's time you consider adding another omega to your pack. A female omega might have an easier time conceiving and fewer risks–"

Seokjin pinched the bridge of his nose as he interrupted her. "I don't want another omega, mom! Hoseok is all I want or need."

"I know several lovely young ladies who might be a good fit for you! It doesn't have to be a love match."

"Mom!"

"You have too many alphas anyway. You need to even things out a little. If you brought in another omega it might put the other alphas at ease. Especially Yoongi. He might challenge you less if he had someone else to focus on."

"Mother! Yoongi and I are fine. We don't need someone else."

"Yoongi has the potential to be a pack alpha and I know you know that. He will take it from you if given the chance. You have to do something to assert your dominance in this pack. You need to have a child, and you need to be sure that it's yours."

You left the house so early the public library wasn't even open yet when you arrived. You nodded in acknowledgement at another regular before sitting on the concrete wall out front to wait. The sun was still rising, and the spring air felt cool and damp with dew. Your stomach rumbled. You should have eaten before you left the house.

Don't you think you've taken enough advantage of their kindness?

Yes.

Alpha would be mad if he knew I didn't eat.

He's not your alpha.

The opening of the library's front entrance took you mercifully out of your thoughts. A librarian stepped outside and held the door open, greeting the patrons who had gathered outside like you with a smile as you got to your feet. She was a Sap, but a kind woman you had spoken to on a few occasions. She always treated you and the other Lykos who came into the library with kindness.

"How are you today, Y/N?" The woman, Maria, asked as you approached the open door.

"I'm alright," you smiled politely. "It's still early."

She laughed softly. "Haven't seen you in a bit. Everything okay?" She closed the door after you entered and you waited for her to walk around to her desk before you answered.

"Just been busy. Can I get a guest pass for the computer?"

She typed something on her keyboard before looking at you again. "Did you lose your card?" You nodded in response. "We can get you a new one. I just need to see your ID."

You shook your head and she looked at you curiously. "I have my ID…but I don't live at that address anymore, and I know it's supposed to be current so…I'll wait until I find a new place and get one then." You fidgeted uneasily as you explained, your eyes downcast, so you didn't see her frown and her sympathetic eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She clicked a few things on her computer and handed you a small ticket. "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

You took the paper and shook your head. "I'll just be looking for jobs. It might take me a while…" you said apologetically.

"Take your time," she smiled encouragingly, and you turned away to find the computer at the back that you preferred.

It was always nicest to be here right when they opened, when it was still quiet. In a couple of hours story time would start and mothers would come in with their children, pulling them close to their sides and away from the homeless Lykos that often spent their time there. For now it was just you and a few others you recognized but had never spoken to. Even before you lost your home, you had been coming here frequently, since you couldn't afford your own internet. You'd come here the second day you arrived in the city and did pretty much exactly what you were doing now. Sometimes it was easier to start over than to try to hold onto what little gains you made.

You entered the code Maria had given you to log onto the computer and opened up the web browser, pulling up a job site you were familiar with. You didn't have any particular job you were searching for. Beggars can't be choosers after all. Instead of searching for job titles, you went straight to the filters, and your palms began to sweat.

Education level required:

You didn't even graduate high school, stupid omega. What job are you even qualified for?

Shut up! That's not my fault!

You chose "not specified" from the dropdown menu and moved on.

Benefits:

Heat/rut leave required: yes no

The cursor hovered over the yes box. You'd never checked it before. Never looked at what kind of jobs might be able to offer you that. Probably not anything you were qualified for. But you clicked it, just to see.

Your search delivered no results. Try adjusting your filters.

You don't need heat leave anyway. Just take your pills like you're supposed to.

But they make me so sick.

That's a small price to pay to not be bred like a Bitch.

…yeah

You clicked the 'x' next to the filtered option and searched again. This time the website populated a list of jobs for you to sort through. Most of them were ones you had seen before. Some of them were ones you had had before. Working in a store was hard because of all the scents. Scent blockers only took you so far. Restaurants and bars were similarly challenging and the hectic environment could be overstimulating. Delivery driver, but you didn't have a car. And to make matters worse, none of these jobs alone would pay enough for you to live by yourself, even the way you were living before.

Should have stayed with alpha. Then I wouldn't have to work.

You think house work isn't working? And what's your compensation? Getting beaten for every mistake, because you always fuck it up and tossed out when they're done with you.

Yoongi wouldn't do that. He was nice.

For now. And what about the others? Jin didn't seem to want you there at all.

He asked!

Only because Hoseok wanted him to and what about when he has a baby? Do you think they'd still want you? Or worse if he can't have a baby then they'll make you do it! You think their kindness comes for free? Nothing is ever free! Remember last time? You thought that pack was kind too. How long did that last before they showed you exactly what you're good for?

Stop it!

"Stop!" You hissed. "Just shut up!"

Everything around you felt suddenly still. You looked up to find several pairs of eyes on you, including Maria's. She walked toward you, and you wanted nothing more than to hide.

"Is everything okay, dear?" She asked softly as she stood by your computer station.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine," you assured her just as quietly, but her eyes told you she didn't buy it. "I have to go." You quickly picked up your bag from the floor beside you and rushed for the exit.

You'd already been over this multiple times since you overheard Jin and Hoseok's conversation yesterday, so why wouldn't the thoughts just stop? You made a decision and it was too late to go back on it so why were they still going round and round? You hadn't heard the first part of their conversation, but you had already known that Hobi was going into heat. Hence you were trying to clean up and help before you were kicked out. You weren't expecting Jin's offer at all, but you assumed between Jimin and Yoongi, and maybe Hoseok too, that they had talked him into at least offering. But he and Hoseok were trying to have a baby, and that wasn't as straightforward a process for everyone as they wanted it to be. And if it didn't work out for Hobi…well you knew about alphas who failed to have pups and how they could treat omegas who were easy, vulnerable targets, like you. So of course you left. You weren't an idiot.

Part of you hoped it would work out for Hoseok though. You might not trust alphas, but he seemed to trust his and to be loved by them. So he deserved to have everything he wanted.

It was hours before you were able to get in to talk to anyone at the True Life shelter. Luckily it was a nice morning once the sun had fully risen, not exactly warm, but warm enough in the hoodie you had stolen from Yoongi. There was a nice park between the library and the shelter, and you spent a few hours there trying to enjoy the sunshine and clear your mind. There wasn't anything else you could do, so you might as well try to find some peace while it lasted.

"You know the rules. If you don't check in, the contents of your locker are forfeit," the woman at the desk reminded you after explaining that all your belongings that you left behind while you were in heat were now gone. "If you're lucky, some of it may still be in the store."

The only thing more insulting than having them take the last of your belongings was having to buy them back at the second hand store the same organization ran around the corner. You stifled your groan. At least Hoseok had washed all your clothes that you had with you. At least now you didn't have to carry all your worldly goods with you.

"You find a place to stay?" The woman asked, loudly smacking the gum that she perpetually chewed. You shook your head. "Got an open bed tonight if you need it."

"Thanks," you mumbled. There was something in the way she looked at you that always made you feel so small.

"You know the deal," she said as she placed a bottle of heat suppressants on the counter in front of you. You pulled your own bottle out of your purse and rattled it in front of her.

"I have plenty."

She quirked an eyebrow as if mentally doing the math and knew something wasn't adding up. "You taking them like you're supposed to?"

You tried to keep your expression neutral as her eyes didn't stray. After several long seconds, you twisted the cap off the bottle and shook one large pill into your hand, shoved it into your mouth and swallowed it dryly.

She looked at you a moment longer while your throat worked to get the vile medicine down. Then she grabbed a bottle of water from the counter behind her. "Well, don't choke on it," she snorted.

After taking a big drink to clear your throat you opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out at her. "Happy?"

"Delighted," she deadpanned. "Come back at six."

You nodded and walked out of the building. At least soon enough your stomach would hurt so much you wouldn't feel hungry anymore. There were silver linings all around.

Jimin hasn't been sleeping well. At least not at night. He's been napping with Hobi during the day between sessions, since he's the omega's favorite cuddle buddy at the moment. But whenever the whole pack went to sleep for the night, Jimin found himself lying awake, wondering where you were sleeping. It had been a few days by now, so had you gone back to True Life? Had you tried for somewhere better? He knew most of the shelters were always at capacity. He hoped you weren't sleeping outside. It was too cold for that still and you'd only end up getting sick.

Why didn't you just stay? Was it purely fear? Too many strangers, too many alphas? Or was it something about them, just one of them? Had he upset you so much the other night that you felt you couldn't stay. The afternoon he saw you with Hobi it seemed like you might be getting comfortable.

Jimin sighed and stared holes into the ceiling while his packmates slept. He rolled to his right, where an empty space had been left for Yoongi. Yoongi. Jimin had never seen the alpha quite like that. He knew how protective Yoongi could be, but nothing he'd ever seen compared to how Yoongi looked at you. Alphas don't really court betas in the way that they do omegas, but even when Yoongi and Jimin first started dating it hadn't been nearly as obvious how badly Yoongi wanted him. (He had wanted Jimin almost as badly, but maybe not quite so desperately).

But Jimin also knew everything was different with you. He had been the one to bring you to his alpha after all, and had thrown you into this strange situation. You were an omega for starters and that would always set off an alpha, although it hadn't seemed to affect the others quite as much. Maybe it was Yoongi's affinity for lost people. Maybe it was just the fact that you were so small and in need of protection. All alphas want to protect, but not all omegas need it in the way you do. Hoseok doesn't. But even Jimin felt the urge to cover you from the rest of the world. And he couldn't lie, he sort of loved how small you were, the fact that he was bigger than you. He hadn't gotten the chance and maybe he never would, but it didn't stop him from thinking about what it would be like to hold your small frame, be able to sniff the top of your head like Jungkook always does and feel for once like he could protect someone else.

Jimin was awake when he heard Yoongi come home and it lightened his mind fractionally, knowing that soon the alpha would be next to him, where he needed him. It's hard to mark the passage of time in the dead quiet of night, but Jimin was sure several minutes had passed since he heard any shuffling from downstairs. Carefully, he rolled to the edge of the nest and to his feet. He didn't want to stress Hobi if he woke to two packmates missing from the nest, but he also needed to see Yoongi. Jimin tiptoed over each creaky floorboard of the staircase down to the first floor. The alpha wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, which meant he could only be in one place. Jimin found the man laying on the bed in the spare room, sobbing gently into a comforter that had been part of your nest.

"Yoongi hyung," Jimin breathed as he laid on the bed behind him, pressing himself against the lines of his body. "What are you doing in here hyung? Hm?"

Yoongi took a deep breath and tried to quiet the sobs. If anyone but Jimin had found him like this he would have been humiliated, but nothing ever felt embarrassing with him. "I can't stop looking for her everywhere, Jiminie," he spoke through his tears. "I keep fearing I'll show up at a call, and she'll be the one who's hurt. And I feel relieved and sad all over again every time it isn't her. I just want to know that she's safe."

Jimin wrapped his arm around his chest and squeezed Yoongi closer to him. He laid soft kisses against his neck, but the alpha still struggled to calm himself.

"Earlier tonight we got called to this accident. A girl was hit by a car and she was face down in the road. There was blood everywhere. And for a minute I really thought it was Y/N. But she was a sap girl. Y/N is so small, like a little girl, how is she going to be okay on her own. She needs-" Yoongi broke off in another sob. He hated to be this wrecked, but if he wasn't sad he would have to be angry, and he hated to be angry. He didn't want to be the kind of alpha who acted like everything had to be his way and get upset if it wasn't. That was never Yoongi. He wasn't trying to be petulant. He just couldn't help his grieving. "I don't know what it is, Jimin," he admitted. "I don't know why I'm so attached to her. But I just feel it in my chest. I can't just let her go. I'm sorry."

Jimin laid his head on top of his alpha's and spoke softly next to his ear. "You don't need to apologize, hyung. Not to me or anyone else. Whatever you're going through, I don't think it can be understood rationally. It's just a feeling, and that's something you should listen to. Your instincts are always right."

"Thanks, Jimin," Yoongi sighed, finally calmed from his sobs.

"You're a great alpha. She'd be lucky to have you, like I am." Yoongi found Jimin's hand and laced their fingers, appreciating his words.

"What's going on? Where's Y/N?" Hoseok asked, flipping the light switch and suddenly blinding them. Yoongi sat up, rubbing his puffy eyes against the brightness.

"She's gone, Hobi," he answered hollowly.

"Gone? Gone where?" Hoseok hadn't been out of the nest room for nearly three days. The alphas had been keeping him distracted, keeping him in bed and satisfied and well-fed so he'd never have to leave. Now he looked around the room for any trace of you.

"We don't know," Jimin admitted. He rubbed his hand soothingly up and down Yoongi's back.

Hoseok stared at the two of them, dumbfounded. "When did she leave?"

"A few days ago? I'm not sure exactly when she left but she was gone by the time I got home from work on Wednesday."

Hoseok huffed. How long had they kept it from him? "And today is?"

"Saturday."

"Saturday! Were you planning to tell me?" Hoseok asked.

"I didn't want to spoil your heat. I figured if you were upset you might not be as interested in sex and then Jin…" Yoongi tried to explain.

"Jin what?"

"Nothing. He's just been very touchy about your last few heats, and I didn't want to make him more upset." Yoongi rubbed his hands across his red face.

Hobi swallowed. He knew Yoongi was right but that didn't mean he shouldn't have been told. You'd been on his mind even if he knew you couldn't be in his nest. "Jin's just been stressed," he defended, but neither of the others responded. "Were you planning to sleep in here?"

Yoongi shook his head. "I was planning to shower and then come to bed but I…I just had a rough night at work and I needed a minute."

Hoseok sank onto the bed on his other side, where Yoongi had the comforter pulled partially over his lap. He pushed the alpha's bangs back to look at his red eyes. "Have you been crying?"

Yoongi pulled his face away to hide in his hands. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, throat thick with shame.

"Baby, you don't need to apologize. I was just surprised. I've never seen you cry before. Not in six years."

"You aren't supposed to see me cry."

Hoseok scoffed. "That better not be some toxic alpha bullshit, Yoongi." The man reddened further at the admonishment. "You wanted her to be your omega. It makes sense you would be upset. You really felt something for her."

"You're my omega," Yoongi responded.

Hoseok shook his head. "I know that. Doesn't change anything." He ran his fingers into the alpha's hair and pulled his head to rest on his shoulder. "I wanted her to be my omega, too."

Jimin leaned into Yoongi's back. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I wanted her as an omega, too."

Hobi hummed with a thought. "The three of you would've made a cute little pack."

Jimin tilted his head up on Yoongi's shoulder to look at him. "Emphasis on the little."

Jimin pulled away, taking his alpha with him. "You know how to ruin a moment."

"Sorry," Hoseok chuckled. "Will you two please come upstairs? Can't sleep without all my pups in the nest."

You managed to get over your embarrassment to go back to the library a few days later, but finding a job still wasn't any easier. You were tired of losing a job as soon as they found out what you were and just as tired of pretending to be something you weren't. Not that you were ready to embrace your omega, either. But trying to pass for a sap was getting exhausting. You were too small for a Sapien adult. If you could choose you'd rather just give up altogether, but the last time you'd made that choice you'd been lured by comfort into the hands of two bad alphas. So you'd have to keep trying. And you knew there was one person who could help you.

There were two youth shelters in the city, and on Monday when you went to one they told you no one named Jimin worked there. You felt so foolish that you didn't bother trying the other one, but on Tuesday morning you plucked up your courage and walked to the Open Door shelter. When you walked in, there was an omega female at the desk who gave you a kind but instantly regretful smile.

"I'm sorry, hun. All our omega dorms are full today," she informed you.

You stepped forward to lean on the counter, casting a curious look around the place. Teenagers were milling about, coming and going freely, able to spend the days indoors rather than on the streets. Through one door you could hear the sounds of some people playing basketball.

"I'm not here for a bed. I'm looking for someone." You drummed your fingers against the vinyl countertop.

"Sorry, kid. I can't give out the names of people who are staying here."

"No. I'm looking for an employee. His name is Jimin."

Recognition flashed in her eyes. "What's your name, hun?"

"Y/N," you answered quietly.

"Let me go see if he's busy," she told you before she walked through a door behind the desk.

He's busy. At work, dumbass. You shouldn't be bothering him.

He said he could help. Maybe he'll take you home.

You don't have a home.

Alpha is home.

Don't be an idiot.

You moved over to a chair against the wall opposite the desk to wait, anxiously eyeing the door you came in through.

A/n: i am not sorry. However if you would like i scream at me or any of the characters, please feel free to do so in my inbox, comments or reblogs. Your feedback makes me feel alive. 💜 How are we feeling about Jin these days? What about our poor MC? What do you think will happen when she talks to Jimin?

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manicpixiedreamedwins · 3 months

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Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.

Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.

Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.

I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.

Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:

For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:

Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.

Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).

It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.

Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).

Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.

Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.

He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.

So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.

Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.

But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.

Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.

This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.

Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.

Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).

From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.

First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.

He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.

Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.

Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?

Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.

Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?

Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.

Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.

Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?

What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).

That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.

Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).

Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.

Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.

But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).

He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.

Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.

This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.

This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.

What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.

"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.

(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).

Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.

So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.

He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…

... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.

He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).

Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.

They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.

Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.

That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤

#Charles Rowland #meta #dead boy detectives #cw domestic violence #canon event Charles' home life #payneland #meta is slanted that way #I can no longer think of how to revise this so here it is #Jealous Charles Rowland #My posts #Fixed some small typos because some of this was done at 3 am whoops

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ihatedtoadmit · 4 months

Text

A biteful memory [4]

pairing: OT8 x fem!reader

genre: werewolf AU, fluff, crack, bit of angst

warnings: Please read the 'Summary' of this series, all are listed there!

word count: ~3.8k

summary: You awoke to new sensations, but you couldn't care less when you had someone to scold.

↳ Masterlist ↳ Next chapter ↳ Previous chapter

My consciousness drifted back to me, softness surrounding my blind form. I could feel the strong scent of vanilla and strawberry even through the slightest of inhales, the cinnamon that sat at the very top urging my eyes to slowly flutter open. The blurriness at the edges of my vision stayed for a few seconds, making me even more confused amidst these pastry-reminding scents.

I was in bed, back in a room. Not mine, that much was obvious, but it was familiar nonetheless.

Looking around with finally clear vision, I could immediately identify who it belonged to, the gamer setup more than just a small sign. Felix’s room smelled heavenly, as if I’d just walked into the bakery on my way to work on a chilly autumn day, the warm air of the shop caressing my flushed face pleasantly. Although the person in question wasn’t in the room himself, causing my eyebrows to only furrow further on my face.

Wanting to find him and ask what he had done to his room to smell like this - and so suddenly too -, and also to know what happened for my memories to be so hazy, I got out of bed, only to notice something when I’d bent my knees to clamber out of the restrictive hold of the blanket.

They didn’t hurt, nor pop, like an abused lightstick. Not a single sign of that usual pain appeared, the one deep inside the joint that slowly creeped over to my bones and marrow.

That was certainly a weird thing, since they were their usual cracking self just yesterday, at least to the best of my knowledge. I couldn’t help but crouch down a few times once I’d stood up fully, marvelling at the fact how easy and smooth the motion was. Not only that, but my hip and back didn’t pop once either, no matter in what way I was bending around. It was as if I had gotten a completely new body with the same looks, all repaired and free of any pain or illnesses.

I couldn’t help but ask myself: just what had happened last night?

As if my brain was awaiting that exact question, it provided me with the sought-after information, the edges of my lips pulling up more and more with each memory segment unlocked. The feeling of adrenaline rushing through my veins, the warmth encircling me, their burning gazes in the dark night. I couldn’t help the small chuckle that left my lips, my mood immediately turning giddy and elated, something that was rare for me. I was sure I had the look of a crazed witch with that overly wide smile on my lips, but I couldn’t afford to care.

Too happy to stop myself, I raced out of the door and down the stairs, hurrying towards the living room where the scents were the strongest. I couldn’t explain why, but my mind told me to follow those scents and go there, because that was where they all had to be. When I arrived there, heads turned my way, ready to say something, but I didn’t let them, I couldn’t. Not when I’d discovered something so great.

“Oh my god guys, look, look, my knees are not popping!”

A few seconds of awkward silence and fleeting glances passed between each other, all the while I was just crouching in the same place, waiting for some kind of reaction from them, they bursted into laughter, slightly shaking their heads in most probably disbelief. Sadly the joy that vigorously filled me wasn’t enough to fully mask my embarrassment, skin flushing in return.

“Of course you would say that first thing after being turned. Of course you would.” - Felix murmured out, walking towards me and taking me in his arms with a lopsided smile sitting on his face.

I let him, the same scent that lingered in his room now hitting me full force and making my mind halt. My body involuntarily took another sniff, caging him in my own arms as my head was getting filled with his scent. Yes, it had to be his, it suited him so well after all. How I hadn’t realised that before confused me, because what else could have been the truth? Sweet Felix deserved a sweet scent, it was as simple as that. I buried my head deeply into his neck, as if my life depended on it. It was something carnal inside of me that urged me to do so, and who was I to disagree with it.

“Damn, she even scented Felix. I’m kinda jealous.” - I could hear Hyunjin say, snapping me out of whatever trance I was consumed in.

I quickly took my head away from Felix’s neck, embarrassment creeping up my skin once more the more I’d realised what thoughts circled inside my head in the past few seconds. That weird urge was pushed into the back of my mind, rationality taking over its place and making me want to bury myself alive. But the boy in my hold didn’t seem to mind what had happened at all, no, he seemed to be the complete opposite, now rubbing his own face into my neck. My eyes couldn’t meet any of theirs, merely wishing for the earth to swallow me whole.

But I didn’t need to look at them, they did the work for me as several of them bounded over, taking Felix’s place and scenting me, apparently. Soft rumbling could be heard all over the room, surprising me as my own chest joined in on the cacophony of sounds. I let that carnal desire inside me free, just enough so that it amplified everyone’s elated rumbling as I scented them back, purely by instinct, no matter how weird it all felt to the rational part of my mind. Nothing made sense to me yet, but this seemed normal for them to do, so I just rolled with it, ignoring how much blood rushed to my cheeks and tainted my skin red.

After everyone was done and looked quite happy, I noticed something quite disturbing.

Someone was missing.

“Where is he?” - I asked, looking at the two cuddly wolves in my hold, Felix and Changbin.

Everyone exchanged glances with each other, causing me to roll my eyes and gently deposit the two onto the couch from my arms.

“Let me guess, he was feeling guilty for turning me. I swear to fucking GOD, I am going to choke him to death.” - I grumbled out as I went towards the coat hanger at the front door, quickly grabbing one of his hoodies.

Bringing it up to my nose and taking a deep inhale, my mind was filled with the strong scent of pine and rain. It suited him, but that was not what I needed to focus on at this particular moment. With a shake of my head I snapped myself back to the task at hand, urging my body to pick up his scent in the air. My eyes closed with a deep inhale, nose scrunching up as all the residing smell and scent in the house invaded my senses at once. I nearly recoiled, it was all so strong. Yet, as I held my head high up in the air, sifting through the scent of spices and warmth, I felt it.

Somber rain and wet soil painted the scene before my closed eyes, drowning in guilt and regret so heavily it nearly made me choke.

“You may be the big, scary alpha dog, but you cannot escape me, mister. We’re gonna talk this out, like it or not.”

With that, I threw the hoodie onto the couch as I passed by it, hurriedly approaching the glass doors that led towards the forest. The others shouted at me as I ran past them, but frankly, I didn’t really care, so I just ignored their voices and ran out the doors. Something inside of me was begging to be let out, to help me and run free. I gave into it, the oversized t-shirt and shorts tearing apart as my form grew fur and became tetrapodal. The anger and adrenaline helped drown out the pain of the sudden transformation, gifting me clarity.

Putting my nose up in the air, I was hit by everything at once for the second time. Nothing could prepare me for it, the smells turning into something entirely disgusting with a hint of familiarity so vile, a whine escaped my throat. The air felt heavy, weirdly alien, as if it was something new. I wanted to claw my face off, but I knew I couldn’t.

I had to find him, after all.

With stuttering lungs I powered through this new sensation and carefully peeled every single scent away, even as bile threatened to rise up my throat, until I could smell that pine and rain again.

He was deep in the forest, his scent even more tangy and sour. It made my chest stutter, self-hatred blooming inside my chest so intensely not mine it was frightening.

My legs moved before I could even issue them the order, my cushioned paws pushing me away from the ground with exhilarating force. I was in the forest in no time, weaving through the branches and leaves, jumping over holes and tree trunks. The wind caressed my long fur, luring me into its grasp as I only gained more and more speed with each passing second.

Everything felt so freeing, so new.

The ground underneath my paws as it crumbled away with each push, the snapping of the branches I grazed as I passed by. I could hear the rushing wind, the blood flowing through my veins with a booming force. But I couldn’t get lost in them, not when I knew what kind of thoughts were circling around in his head.

It didn’t take much longer for me to see his form, slumped on a fallen tree as his seat. He lightly flinched once he realised I was there, his form tense as he whipped his head over to my direction. Those dark eyes of his were wide with fear and disbelief, something that only added to the pain residing in my chest. He stood up hastily, causing me to panic, my bigger form sprinting with all of its force just to ensure he wouldn’t be able to escape.

Stopping… was not really in my plans, so I was forced to slide on the dirt and fallen leaves while bracing my paws on the ground, sliding past the male and almost into a tree, looney tunes style. Almost.

“What…what are you doing here?” - Chan’s voice was loud and filled with worry, but he stopped himself from approaching me.

I merely huffed as I turned around and walked towards his much, much smaller form, a not so happy rumble leaving my chest. Because his eyes were now refusing to meet mine, guilt so obviously eating away at him for nothing. Because what had happened to me was not his fault by any means, something apparently only I thought so. Even the others felt off, something that this new, untamed version of me could pick up on as well. I could merely huff and lay down in front of him, hoping he would understand what I wanted.

Yet, he just continued standing there with a now slightly confused expression. I gently pushed him towards my side with my head, not trusting myself just yet to hold his arm between my teeth. That would merely lead to disaster, one I was not ready to face just yet, thank you very much.

Gosh, not being able to speak was such a hassle.

“You…want me to climb on you?”

He sounded so in disbelief, I would have chuckled if I could have. Instead I lightly yapped, nodding my head and pushing him a bit again. The man reluctantly climbed on top of me, grabbing onto my fur for safety as there was nothing else he could hold onto.

It was a wise decision on his half as the moment I started sprinting without holding back, his hold on me tightened impossibly more, and I could have sworn I felt some of my hairs being torn out. But I didn’t mind, I had to speak with his stupid head that wrongly thought he had made a mistake as soon as I could. A few bald spots were a cheap price to pay for that.

When we arrived back at the house, everyone was already there, seemingly waiting for us. I trotted over once I had gradually slowed down, not wanting to slide on the ground like a clown, like I did before in front of Chan. I also didn’t want to accidentally launch the male sitting on my back. As I kept getting closer and closer to their house, there was something unusual I noticed: the boys’ height didn’t really change, no matter how close I’d gotten.

Why were they all so tiny?

Discarding every other plan I had before as this was too intriguing to not investigate, I leaned my head down to Jisung, who was closest to me. Giggles broke out of him as my comically large snout gently poked him a few times, his hands desperately trying to stop me as he placed them on my wet nose. I didn’t relent however, sniffing him and his overpowering fresh scent of salt and sun-kissed sand. He begged me to stop between broken syllables, my attention finally switching to the next person I could reach.

They were all so tiny, oh my god.

“Wah, what’s gotten into you?” - Seungmin giggled out, his hands trying to push my head away fruitlessly. “Is it our scents? It’s the first time she smelled it in her wolf form after all.” - Hyunjin added in, his own pair of hands buried into the dark fur covering my neck. “Hmmm, maybe, but I think it’s something else. I dunno what though.” - it was Jeongin this time, still recovering from when I tormented him. “I think she’s fascinated by the size differences.”

The voice belonged to Chan, urging everyone to look at him atop the figure on my back. I looked back at him as much as I could, my tail wagging -it was such a weird feeling- as I slightly nodded. I couldn’t help myself and go to the last person who I hadn’t pestered yet, his form so small and cute looking now.

“Yah, don’t even think about it!” - but Minho couldn’t stop me as I poked him with my snout, nearly pushing him over with the force I’d used.

The others gathered around us, our sight no doubt amusing. It wasn’t every day that you could see Minho wrestle around with someone and lose, and so easily at that. It was clear even before all this whole werewolf fiasco that Minho was Chan’s right hand man, often left to look after these unruly boys when Chan wasn’t home, his work calling him in with no prior notice. Yet, I couldn’t help myself as I trapped him under my form, careful not to crush him accidentally.

“You big baby, don’t get a big head just because your wolf form is the biggest in the pack.” - he scolded me playfully, making me nuzzle him with a low grumble.

Even though what he’d said fascinated me - i had never seen them in their wolf form after all -, I directed my gaze towards the male who was clambering down from my back, my fur granting him enough grip for him to do so safely. I watched him carefully, since I didn’t quite want him to run away now, after all I’d done to get him here.

“Don’t worry, I quite literally can’t run away from you now. You can stop with those sharp eyes now, pup.” - he huffed out with a laugh, crossing his arms as he looked at me, all his weight placed onto one leg. “Yea, Channie hyung might be fast, but currently you are the fastest, with you being in your wolf form and all. It would take too much time for him to transform, you would immediately be able to catch him.” - Felix commented excitedly, enjoying teasing his hyung a bit too much, who just glared at him playfully in return. “Even if he was transformed, have you seen the speed she took off with? Chan hyung has no fucking chance, sorry.” - Changbin added in, rubbing salt into the injury.

I watched as everyone joined in with the teasing and bickering, sitting in the same place with an increasingly annoyed Minho in my hold. Even though Chan obviously wasn’t fully himself just yet, everything else was back to normal, the atmosphere light and playful. Something I very much enjoyed, even if it got too loud sometimes.

“Hey, angel, you can transform back now you kno’.” - it was Felix, his voice breaking me out of my stupor.

Now, there was a slight problem with that, my eyes avoiding his own as I couldn’t help but huff out in frustration. Minho, who was still very much trapped in my hold, just had a smug grin on his face as he most probably figured out what was happening, his signature laughter ringing through the air.

I didn’t know how to change back to my human form.

“Do you… You don’t know how, do you?” - Felix asked after he chased after my gaze, forcing me to nod as a confirmation to his suspicion.

It didn’t take long for the others to join in with Minho, earning them a warning growl from my chest, embarrassed at the whole situation.

“It’s okay, nobody really knows how to do that at first. The more surprising thing is that you could transform so easily this soon.” - the cat in my hold explained, a hand pleasantly caressing the sea of fur on my neck. “Yea, exactly. You have all your wolf ears, legs, a tail. Nothing’s out of place, unlike a certain someone who transformed for the first time.” - Seungmin teased, his eyes looking at the poor person he was talking about. “Yah! If you’re going around revealing embarrassing secrets, then I guess you won’t mind if I tell her about your adorable lil how–” - Jisung didn’t have time to properly finish his sentence, yet he’d already revealed enough, no matter how strong Seungmin’s hold was on his neck.

Chaos ensued quite quickly after that, embarrassing secrets revealed left and right as the wrestling pair quickly grew into a smaller group. Limbs and hair were yanked left and right, teeth getting involved once or twice. Changbin went over to break up the fight, yet all it took was one sentence about him and his small frame even in wolf form to join in, causing Chan to sigh as he knew it would be his job alone to calm everyone down.

“I know this is all very confusing right now, but I hope you can accept us like this. I…”

I waited patiently for Minho to continue, his voice already so muted nobody but us could hear this one-sided conversation. But no matter how I waited for the rest of his words, none came, causing me to look down at him. His eyes glistened with an unknown emotion, a pitiful little smile resting on his lips once he felt me move. I’d never seen him like this, so strangely vulnerable.

A soft pat of his hand over my nose and the moment was gone, carried away by the soft spring wind.

“If you look into yourself, there should be a still foreign part of you there. One that’s restless. Focus on that, calm it down and you should be back to being your usual self again. Now let me go, I gotta help calm down those idiots.” - he explained, promptly leaving me to myself as soon as I lifted my head.

As vague as his instructions were, I tried my best to follow them, because they made sense, weirdly enough. That feral part of me, the one that yearned to run free in the wind and get lost in everyone’s scent was so clearly there and so clearly new, I understood now. It was my wolf, embodying everything I never could as a human.

Eyes closed and breathing levelled, darkness surrounded me. The sounds of bickering and playful shouting slowly got quieter and quieter, the sound of the surface of water being disturbed replacing it. It happened a few more times, as if someone was pacing in shallow water, never intending to rest. The presence itself felt restless, like a caged animal, yet it was free to roam in this damp darkness. Then, it suddenly stopped, water gently hitting my ankles.

I could feel its eyes staring me down, like a hunter looking at its prey.

A giant wolf stood before me, eyes nearly glowing like molten lava in the surrounding abyss. It felt hostile, yet not towards me. Something else was the target of its anger, of its frustrations, and I was the gate that could allow it to get to that.

The longer I looked into its eyes, the more I could understand it, yet no words were uttered between the two of us. An indescribable feeling of being trapped washed over me, something inside me wishing to break free and find the place it belonged to. The scent of strawberries popped into my head, the feeling inside me now much weaker and calmer.

‘Ah, you’re just like me then.’ - I thought, my hand lifted in the air.

The wolf gently laid its head into my touch, nuzzling into it, coming to the same conclusion. We were one and the same, merely two sides of the same coin. Our feelings and goals were all shared, even if we felt them to varying degrees.

The soft touch of fabric greeted me as I slowly came back to reality, the sight of the woods and the boys’ house greeting me once more. Although none of them could be seen, none except for Felix, who was draping a blanket over my slightly shivering form. When our eyes met his smile widened impossibly more, those cute lil freckles resting atop his cheeks stretching like an expanding nebula. His eyes were bright, shining with an emotion I couldn’t name, yet it drew me in all the same.

“You did well, angel. Now let’s get you inside, hm?” - his deep voice gently whispered, and I could only nod as I followed him inside, his warm hand never leaving my back.

Taglist: @meowmeeps @michelle4eve @marvelsmarauder @readr1221 @fr34k4c1dr41n @darling-imobsessed @kayleefriedchicken @3rachasninja

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misseviehyde · 1 year

Text

THE CURE IS WORSE...

Like all her friends, Belinda was tired of being tormented by her bully Morgan. After years of abuse the girls finally had enough and decided they needed to cure their bully of her evil.

She and her nerdy friends 'The Book Gang' agreed to meet in the library to discuss a plan, although Belinda was late as she had been helping at eco-club.

Eco-club were currently looking at ways to make the school more sustainable, something close to her heart. Belinda had big plans of working for a charity when she left school. She wanted to do something with her life to help people and out of all her friends was probably the kindest and most charitable to others.

She'd even tried to forgive Morgan when the other girl had made her minions flush her head in the toilet, or the time Morgan had made her do all her homework for a week whilst she fucked the hot exchange student that was supposed to be Belinda's pen-pal.

Belinda was convinced that deep inside Morgan, a good girl wanted to get out. It had been her idea to look for a cure and she hoped they could find a way to free Morgan from her bullying ways.

As she entered the library, Belinda saw that her super smart best friend Joanne was excitedly showing the others something in an aging book. Her Dad ran a second hand book shop, and Joanne had access to lots of weird books. She was super preppy... plaid skirts, thick black rimmed glasses and pastel sweaters. Morgan had made her life hell too.

"Look what I found in this old alchemical book," she was explaining animatedly. "It's a cure that will make all of someone's mean and evil personality split out of them. If we make Morgan drink it, the mean bullying side of her personality will be forced out and she'll become a nice girl."

The gang gabbled excitedly but Belinda felt a tremor of unease - what exactly would happen to all the evil when it was pushed out?

She'd arrived too late to the meeting to voice her concerns. The plan was agreed and Joanne got to work creating the potion. It was a horrible foul smelling concoction and the girls realised there was no way they would be able to trick Morgan into drinking it. Direct action would be needed.

*******

Stalking through the corridors of the school in designer sunglasses and high heeled boots - Morgan tossed her pretty blonde hair dismissively as she saw the gang of nerds coming out of the library.

She was looking for her minions - not these losers and it annoyed her that they were in her way. She had no way of knowing of course that her little clique of bitches was currently being detained as one of the Book Gang had made a false accusation that they'd cheated in a test. Separated from her friends, Morgan was weaker... but still a threat.

Still - the element of surprise could work wonders... and Morgan was totally unprepared when the gang of nerds she expected to part like the Red Sea suddenly attacked her.

Nerds grabbed her wrists... one of them tackled her down to the floor. Morgan screamed in rage as they pinned her down.

With a strength the nerds hadn't expected, she suddenly tore her arm free and using her acrylic nails like claws raked them across one girls face. She screamed and fell back and laughing, Morgan balled her hand into a fist and hit another girl hard with a satisfying crack.

The pressure released and with an easy acrobatic flex, the bad bitch jumped to her feet. "You fucking losers, how dare you attack me," she snarled. She grabbed a nerd by her pony tail and yanked her hard. Another one she kicked with a booted foot, causing her to crash into a locker.

"I can take all of you losers," she gloated, now enjoying physically dominating her weaker foes. She was a lioness - they were prey. Once she was reunited with her pride of fellow bitches, she'd make their lives a living hell.

*crack*

Belinda looked in horror at the trophy she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf as Morgan crumpled to the floor groaning. She'd acted on instinct, using it to hit the blonde bitch - but she hadn't meant to really hurt her. Her friends looked at her in amazement - except Joanne who was busy straddling Morgan and pouring something into her mouth.

Morgan convulsed - the thick liquid forcing it's way down her throat despite her best effort not to swallow. She groaned and shook, a feverish sweat breaking instantly out on her brow.

"Uuuuuggghhh what have.... uuuuughhh you nerds, ooooh done to me?"

Rolling onto all fours Morgan screamed and then began to vomit. Thick black liquid dripped between her pretty lips as all the evil and mean nastiness inside her was forced out. A thick goopy black puddle of darkness formed, growing and spreading on the floor as Morgan was purged of evil.

Her fake nails dropped off, her bleached blond hair returned to a natural brown and her bitchy face became softer and more gentle. With a heaving gasp she exhaled the last drop of black goo and the puddle underneath her began to move and reshape.

Even as every trace of nastiness left her body and mind, the purged evil solidified and reformed into a shiny black puffer jacket. The girls looked down at in astonishment.

"I thought this might happen," mused Joanne as she picked up the jacket. "The book said the evil would take an appropriate shape. Now we can destroy it... although this jacket is... intriguing."

She wandered off a little from the group carrying the jacket. Belinda was about to follow her when Morgan began to groan.

"Wh... what did you do to me? I feel so different."

Helping Morgan up, Belinda smiled at her. "We cured you of your bullying, you're not evil anymore."

"Wh... what? Oh my gosh, you're right. I... I don't feel mean anymore. Oh no, all the horrible things I've done to people. You've taken it all away from me and I..."

Morgan began to weep, years of guilt catching up with her as she realised what a horrible person she'd been. The girls gathered round and hugged her...

All the girls... except Joanne.

"OOOOOH FUCK YESSSS!"

Belinda span on her heels and gasped along with the other girls. A few metres away Joanne was standing in the corridor - the evil black puffer jacket on her preppy body. She was shaking and moaning, her face contorted in an unholy grin of wicked glee.

"Yessssss... I can feel it flowing into me. Mmmmmh, more I WANT more!"

The jacket seemed to be possessively tightening on Joanne's body. Her usually drab hair was thickening and rising to a bitchy ponytail above her head.

Preppy clothing burned away to reveal smooth perfect flesh as her sensible knickers shrunk into a tight black thong that rode high into her ass.

"Ohhhh fuck YESSSS!" hissed Joanne in glee as she transformed. Her flat ass swelled up into a toned bad bitch butt as her breasts did the same and her clothing became tight and slutty under her puffer jacket.

"No Joanne, what are you doing?" screamed Belinda as her friend stretched and giggled.

"Mmmmh don't call me that anymore loser, I'm JoJo now."

JoJo groaned in pleasure as long wicked nails shot out of her fingers and her skin tanned and darkened. She threw her glasses to the ground with a laugh and crushed them beneath a booted foot as black bitchy knee boots spread up her legs and black stockings popped into place.

Thick, bitchy makeup covered Joanne's usual natural face, dark eye makeup accentuating her new bitchy features as she became prettier and prettier.

Muscle tone spread across her flawless body as JoJo grew slightly taller than the other girls and her body posture changed to become dominant and challenging.

"Fuck yes... this feels SO much better than being some fucking loser," laughed JoJo as she admired her new body as the changes completed.

All of Morgan's bitchy evil had transfered into her and now she was just as mean and spoiled as her former bully had been.

She hadn't meant to put on the jacket - but whilst the other girls had been distracted, the desire to try it on had grown inside her and she'd slipped it on. Now she was glad she had.

Bitchy perfume rose from her body, her tight pussy was wet with lust and JoJo giggled as she saw the fear in her former friends faces. Their fear was intoxicating - she wanted more.

"Like my new look losers? You think Morgan was bad... I'm going to be SUCH a bitch."

Belinda took a step backwards at the sheer venom and wicked delight in her former friends eyes and voice.

"Girls, we have to get that jacket off her. Come on, we outnumber her six to one."

She was about to rush forward, when suddenly the side doors to the corridor opened and a clique of pissed off bitchy girls stormed through.

It was Morgan's old gang and they looked in confusion at JoJo for a moment. Then the air around all of them seemed to shimmer and the puffer jacket swelled up with dark power.

As if they had known her all their life, Morgan's gang fell in around JoJo. She was their leader now. And now even as Belinda looked she suddenly remembered how JoJo was the most popular bad girl in school and had always been the Alpha girl. She was a cruel, sadistic, gang obssessed bitch - and everyone was terrified of her.

Even though she knew about the potion and the jacket, it was like it was being erased from her head... as if reality was changing to accomodate JoJo's transformation.

Only Belinda's iron will and focus allowed her to remember the truth... that this was her friend and the jacket had done this to her.

"What were you saying... loser?" laughed JoJo as she felt the reassurance and power of being the Queen Bee of a group of bullies. There were now eleven of them... the whole squad. JoJo knew with a click of her bitchy fingers she could destroy Belinda and her loser friends. It was intoxicating and she had never felt anything so delicious.

All her life she'd been a good little swot, a preppy little loser engrossed in books and learning. The jacket had set her free. She was wearing Morgan's evil proudly and she never wanted it to end.

"Get them girls," she laughed, watching as her minions eagerly surged forward. The bitchy girls were stronger, taller, meaner... the nerds didn't stand a chance.

JoJo didn't even lift a finger. She just watched, her pretty pink lips in a twisted smile as she watched the nerds fall before the power of her squad.

"Make sure you take extra special care of that loser Belinda. I want her to suffer the most..."

It was good to be Queen.

********

Belinda stared in the mirror and cried.

Her once frizzy brown hair was totally gone. She was almost bald... the hair clippers JoJo's girls had used on her taking all the length away. Her ribs were bruised and her glasses a smashed ruin - but she'd refused to tell anyone who had done this to her.

She was too afraid.

Morgan had been bad, but JoJo was even worse! Belinda couldn't believe that her once smart and kind friend had become so evil. JoJo had all of Joannes knowledge and brains, but now merged to an evil personality that loved to bully others and do bad things.

She wished they'd never given Morgan that potion. How did that old saying go... the cure is worse than the disease?

But Belinda had never been a quitter. She might look soft, but underneath her quiet personality - she had a core of steel and the strength to do what needed to be done. She would save her friend, no matter the cost.

She just had to get the jacket off JoJo before it was too late. The other girls claimed to no longer remember Joanne. Their memories and everyone elses was changing to accomodate the new bitch - some faster than others. Soon she wouldn't even remember her old friend.

She didn't even know if removing the jacket would reverse the transformation. The longer Joanne wore it though, the more of Morgan's evil sank into her and that couldn't be good.

She wondered what JoJo was up to right now? She had to make a plan and she was running out of time.

***********

JoJo was ambitious. Morgan had played at being a mean bitch, but JoJo actually wanted to be one. She was going to ensure that she became the nastiest slut this town had ever seen. It was time to go into business.

Bent over the railing of the apartment block, JoJo giggled and moaned as her new drug-dealer boyfriend fucked her with slow steady thrusts. Her leggings were around her ankles, her ass jiggling in the air as he slid his cock deep into her once virgin pussy and fucked her in public. She gripped the railings tight with her hands, thrusting back against his pumps. His hands were in her hair, pulling her head back and making her groan.

The shiny black puffer jacket was unzipped... her top yanked up to free her tits. Her enlarged tits swung free. She'd always dreamed of having big tits like these.

Her gang stood at the other end of the block, preventing anyone from passing. They smoked and laughed, occasionally glancing over with jealousy to see their leader getting railed.

"Mmmh yeah deeper, fuck me harder," groaned JoJo. She loved getting pounded by this criminal bastard. Leon was the local hardman and JoJo felt wet at the thought that if she wanted, she could set him on any one she chose.

Her Mom and Dad would be horrified that she was giving herself to a man ten years older than her, but she loved how easy it was to manipulate him.

Leon groaned and she giggled and she felt his cum flood her pussy. He dismounted and she pulled her leggings up, enjoying the feeling of his warm creampie inside her.

Handing her a joint, he lit it and JoJo took a deep drag. Mmmmh this was DEFINITELY the life. "How about you supply me with this stuff and I'll make sure it makes it's way into school? For a small cut of course."

"Damn girl - you're evil. Sure thing, provided you let me keep tapping your pussy."

JoJo smiled. "You know it baby."

Blowing out a cloud of weed, she tossed back her hair and laughed. It felt so good to be bad.

********

JoJo watched as the last of her gang dutifully accepted their packets of drugs and move out into the school. They were all too afraid to argue with her and she knew they'd keep their silence too if any of them got caught.

Soon she'd be raking it in and living the life of a spoiled bad-girl. No one could stop her now.

*whoomph*

Belinda struck her from behind and JoJo crashed against the wall. Winded she gasped for help but there was no one to help her as she'd sent her gang out to sell the packets.

Her now nearly bald victim was smaller, weaker and less viscious - but Belinda was possessed of a desperation that gave her strength. Even so she wouldn't last long one on one with JoJo.

The bully smiled as she easily sidestepped Belinda's next attack and with a kick easily knocked her down.

Stradling her victims chest, JoJo looked down and laughing spat in Belinda's face.

"Haha, you're so weak. So pathetic. I'm going to destroy yo..."

She never finished what she wanted to say. Her gloating had given Belinda time to recover and with a superhuman effort she threw JoJo off and tore at the puffer jacket.

It slid off JoJo's body and out of Belinda's grasp as it flew through the air to land on the floor.

JoJo screamed. Her body shook and she gasped in horror as Joanne's features began to return. She was turning back!

"No! My jacket!" she screeched leaping forward towards the jacket.

But Belinda was quicker. She grabbed the jacket, only somehow... her arm ended up slipping inside.

Belinda gasped as a delicious thrill throbbed through her. She groaned as long bitchy nails sprang out of the hand that now emerged from the jacket and she watched the skin tan. Fuck it felt good.

"No! That's mine you bitch."

JoJo was on her, but swinging around Belinda used her new hand to slap the other girl hard and send her tumbling backwards. She felt a thrill of intoxicating power and a smirk twisted her lips. Oh yesss it felt good to be powerful.

She looked up to see JoJo's minions were racing towards them, finally making their way back to their leader to help her in her fight.

"Too late losers," giggled Belinda slipping her other arm into the puffer jacket and pulling it tight around her body. "I'm your fucking Queen now."

Belinda screamed in unholy pleasure as the jackets evil flowed into her.

Her shaven scalp erupted as waves of soft long blonde hair flowed out and wicked matching fingernails shot out of her other hand to give her a pair or bitchy claws. She became prettier and tanned - her bones cracking as she became taller and fitter with a perfect ass and firm round tits.

Belinda groaned in pleasure as all the goodness and innocence inside her body were burned away... the jacket eagerly settling onto it's new host.

"Mmmmh, from now on you can call me Bex," grinned the new bad girl as her minions surrounded her - their loyalty now transfered to her.

Grovelling on the floor before the blonde bitch, Joanne wept at the horrible transformation her friend had undergone. She also ached from the withdrawal of wearing the jacket and the sense of power it had given her.

She was a preppy good girl again, fully transformed back into her old self. She was already struggling to remember Belinda. Bex was now in control.

Bex smirked as she zipped up the jacket and felt it's delicious evil suffocating her once innocent spirt. She wanted to feel more evil than even JoJo had. She wanted to be fully corrupted.

"I wonder how long I have to wear this until all the evil is absorbed into me and I never change back? Unlike you, I have no intention of going back."

Lighting a cigarette Bex took a deep drag and looked around. "I'm in charge now loser and you better stay away from me and my jacket. I won't warn you more than once."

She smoked a little longer, then laughing flicked the stub at the weeping Joanne and snapped her fingers to summon her minions.

She was horny and it was time to find a hot bad boy to fuck.

The cure might be worse - but Bex was going to enjoy being the disease.

THE END

#evie hyde #bitchification #f2f transformation #f2f corruption #puffer jacket #corrupted clothing #bully

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mymoodwriting · 1 year

Photo

Request for Anon (Yandere NCulT part 2) 13.4k, yandere, manipulation, psychedelics, cult mentality, vertigo, mental abuse, verbal abuse, mentions of self-harm, minor attempt at self harm, concussion, anxiety, non verbal behavior, near death experience, dream walking, smut, gang bang, cream pie, unprotected sex, over stimulation

“What’s on your mind?”

It seemed like a redundant question to you. With this connection in place they were in your head, so your thoughts weren’t your own anymore. They would know what you were thinking, so you had to be mindful of that, which made things difficult, or so you thought.

“Don’t you know?”

Haechan chuckled. “Actually, I don’t. Bet you thought we could read your mind, huh?”

“You… you can’t?”

“The connection is fairly new so we can’t read your mind, at least not individually. If we all gathered up we probably could, but Taeyong can absolutely peek into your head whenever he wants.”

“He can…”

“Special privilege in being the leader or something, although if we strengthen our connection I could certainly see what goes on in your head too. There’s plenty of ways to do that, some more fun than others.”

“I don’t think I wanna do that.”

“The connection will grow on its own anyway.”

You’ve been stuck in the penthouse ever since that night. They dragged you here and haven’t let you leave. You did try to escape, once, and that was certainly a memorable moment. Since you were past the distance headache, you figured you could take the elevator down when everyone was sleeping. So you waited for your chance, and snuck away. Of course you had no money, or a phone, or form of identification, but you just wanted to get out. You could figure everything else out then. As you waited for the elevator you were anxious, hoping no one would find you and stop you.

The ding of the elevator arriving put you on high alert, and you looked around to make sure you were still alone. You didn’t hear any noises so it seemed you were good. You stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the lobby. As the doors closed and you felt the elevator go down, relief washed over you. Once you were on the ground floor, you could get out of sight. It was probably best to go to the police and report the whole thing. There was already enough evidence on the internet about NCT, it was about time someone did something with all that. Although you didn’t actually get that far.

Since the penthouse elevator just went straight up and down you had no idea where you were when it suddenly came to a stop. The lights flickered for a moment, and the car shook. You grabbed onto the railing, waiting for things to settle. Then you began hitting the call button, but no one was responding. You hit the button to go up and down, but nothing happened. Not at first. After some panicked button pushing the elevator started moving again. You were relieved, but only for a second before you started falling. You screamed and grabbed the railing, shutting your eyes and hoping for a quick end. Then everything suddenly stopped.

“Having fun?”

You opened one of your eyes, looking around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that the elevator doors were open, Taeyong, Johnny, and Kun were standing on the other side. As your heart settled you realized the elevator was back in the penthouse, and you were very confused about what had happened.

“There’s nothing to be confused about.” Taeyong said. “You never went anywhere.”

“Wa… what?”

“Come on now. You tried to run away at night using the elevator before, so I had to put some precautions in place.”

“Huh?”

Taeyong stepped into the elevator, kneeling down before you. He had a smirk on his face, reaching over to pet your head, even when you flinched back.

“I put a little something in your head to make sure you couldn’t run away. So if you ever get on this elevator without one of us, it’ll crash.” Taeyong chuckled. “Not really, but you’ll think it does, and even if you know what’ll happen, that doesn’t change how you’ll see it all play out.”

“…”

“All you did just now was get in and close the doors, and that’s all you’ll ever do. So let’s not try this again. Oh, and before you get any ideas.”

Taeyong got up and walked away, telling the other two to grab you. Kun and Johnny easily picked you up and carried you along, following Taeyong. You were taken over to the stairwell, the boys tossing you to the floor by the first step. You looked down at the stairs and immediately felt nauseous, crawling back.

“The stairs are also not an option, since a nice feeling of vertigo will take over. Understand?”

“… yes…”

“Good girl.”

Even if it was only once, the memory of that night left you frightened. Far worse than the original headache. You had trouble sleeping after that, although you always did since being at the penthouse. Whenever you slept you’d wind up in Taeyong’s little place, or somewhere else entirely with the other members. You were never alone. Which was kinda nice, but also counterproductive. It felt like you never really slept. So to avoid that you’d not sleep at all. Or at least you’d try not to, eventually your body would crash on its own and you’d sleep. Although you discovered that in those cases you dreamt in the void. Nothing but darkness and what you knew as sleep.

“You need to stop doing that!”

You were half asleep with a warm cup of coffee in your hands, staring out at the city you couldn’t live in anymore when you were suddenly grabbed. You dropped the cup and were flipped around to face a very annoyed Jaemin. He was glaring daggers at you, and you were left speechless.

“I… I… I don’t…”

“Go to sleep! Keeping yourself awake like this isn’t healthy and you’re messing with all of us!”

“Wa… what?”

“We’re all connected, remember? So if you’re constantly exhausting yourself like this, we feel it too. You keep throwing us off like this, so either go to sleep like a normal person, or we’ll make you, got it?”

“Ye… yeah…”

“Good.”

Jaemin didn’t let you go though, dragging you over to the nearest bedroom and forcing you into bed. He may be annoyed, but was also worried. He tucked you in, and told you to close your eyes. You were certain that he didn’t actually leave until you were asleep. Besides, once you were in bed and all wrapped up, you couldn’t just close your eyes and pretend to sleep, your body needed actual rest and would take this chance. Although it was weird.

Sleep itself had become different, but this was something else. For the first time in a while you were alone in your dreams, and it kinda felt off. The default place for you always seemed to be Taeyong’s little room, and so here you were, except you were completely alone. It kinda scared you. This wasn’t your place, nor was this somewhere you wanted to be all by yourself. Then again there was also some beauty in the quiet you hadn’t been able to appreciate for a while. You stepped over to the window, looking at the skyline. It still made you sad, especially seeing it in this dream world where it wasn’t real.

You didn’t know how long you’d be here, or how time really worked here, but you didn’t want to stay in this room. The spiral staircase always intrigued you, so you decided to use this opportunity to see where it led. You went up, finding yourself stepping out of a closet. Now it looked like you were in the penthouse. For a moment you thought you had woken up, but the eerie silence assured you that this was still in your head. It was so empty and you made your way to the elevator, wondering if you could use it. A bit to your surprise that was the case, and you went down to the lobby. It was so empty you were starting to get scared.

When you stepped out into the streets it was much worse. There was nothing but the buildings that surrounded you. No people, no cars, not even the sounds of nature. It felt like a scene out of a movie, some post apocalyptic wasteland. You couldn’t do this so you rushed back inside and returned to the penthouse, using the spiral staircase to return to Taeyong’s secret room. This place wasn’t any better, but you knew it didn’t exist in the real world, and you could stay here as assurance you were dreaming. You wanted to wake up, but you didn’t know how to do that here. Usually you’d just be with the boys and then it would all suddenly end.

All you could do now was wait. So you laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling for a while, then you turned over to stare out at the skyline. You wondered if the sun would set while you were here and it would become night. Whatever time of day it was when you were here with the others was always predetermined by them, and it always seemed to be dark. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath and when you opened them again you jumped up. The day had turned to night suddenly and you couldn’t understand why, or how. You shut your eyes again, trying to get yourself to wake up.

🖤

You inhaled sharply and sat up in bed, looking around in a panic trying to understand where you were. Once your breathing settled you recognized the room, the one Jaemin had put you down in. When you looked over at the window you saw it was dark, so you had been asleep for a good while. You slowly got out of bed, making your way out of the room. You could hear noises down the hall, which honestly brought you relief after being in that quiet nightmare. As you made your way over the noises got louder and louder until you came face to face with someone.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Jungwoo smiled. “Just in time for dinner. Come on.”

Jungwoo came over and took your hand, leading you to the dining room. The others who were there greeted you, even if you said nothing back. You retaliated against them in your own ways, but you certainly had to eat. If you ever intended to escape, you needed your strength. You didn’t sleep that night, and thankfully it was easy to stay awake as your clock had been reset. From then on you became a nocturnal person. Sleeping during the day made sure you didn’t interact with the boys in your dreams, most of the time. If they took a nap they tended to find you and whisk you away to whatever adventure they had going on.

It was still scary to be alone in such a place, but you had to get used to it in order to keep your sanity. You found ways to entertain yourself, finding pen and paper to write and draw with, or trying to read the books in Taeyong’s library, but that was quite difficult. Although you did start to realize something. Many people were capable of manipulating their dreams, doing whatever they wanted and this whole place was like that. It was a sandbox, and with you being the only one, you could do whatever you wanted. The first time you tried to manipulate the world you scared yourself.

You thought about your apartment, how much you missed it. You wanted to go there again, so you kept it in mind, and then went up the spiral staircase. When you opened the doors at the top you screamed, having stepped into your bedroom. It looked just as you remembered it, you wanted to cry, but instead you went back into the stairwell. Last time you had been in the penthouse, but this was so different it frightened you. It couldn’t be real, but that was the point of this place. Nothing was real, and it could be anything you wanted it to be.

After the initial shock of it all, you did it again, preferring to spend your sleep time in your own room. Honestly just being there was calming enough, but it also reminded you of how alone you were. These people were holding you hostage for their own twisted reasons, but they were still kind. They fed you delicious food, played games and watched movies with you. Even in your dreams they acted like friends and sometimes they’d break down your walls. You’d forget you were trapped and that you didn’t want to stay here. Although trying to find a way out was still difficult.

“So, you gonna sleep with me tonight?” YangYang asked.

“Uh… I’m not tired…”

“Yeah, you sleep all day to avoid us. That’s really not good for you.”

“I am sleeping, so that’s no problem to you.”

“But we’re pretty outta sync.”

“Out of sync?”

“Don’t you feel lonely in your dreams? Taeyong says you spend your time in your bedroom.”

“Ha… how do you know that?”

“Taeyong knows everything. So why not sleep with me? We can have so much fun together.”

“I’m good.”

“Are you? Things feel off when you’re not there with us.”

“And it’s not a problem.”

“Not yet.”

“Huh?”

“We’re supposed to grow closer, we can’t do that if you’re outta sync. I’m sure you’ll come around eventually.”

“I won’t.”

“We’ll see won’t we.”

That talk sent chills down your spine. There was still so much you didn’t know about them or what this connection was. They kept being vague and mysterious about it since you were so unwilling to cooperate. Probably some kind of scare tactic that was working. Which meant you needed to figure something out, and soon. This whole connection thing was your biggest concern. Your previous endeavor to not sleep affected them, and sleeping during the day does too, but it wasn’t much. You needed to do something to break it, or at least try to. Your options were very limited, but it wasn’t entirely impossible.

Even if your methods of escape were cut off, they weren’t inaccessible. The elevator really wasn’t an option, but the stairs were another story. Those still existed, even if you got vertigo when you got near them. That was the way to go, and you needed to do it quickly before one of them realized what you were planning. The idea itself terrified you, but you knew it had to be done. Early the next morning, before everyone woke up, you made your way to the stairwell. You only opened the door at first and stared down. It all looked so normal but you knew that if you got close you’d end up feeling dizzy and nauseous. That would work in your favor since the idea was to injure yourself.

You took a careful step forward, but you couldn’t be a coward. If you went slow you wouldn’t be able to follow through, so you were gonna have to run. You took a deep breath and took a step before being yanked back. Someone had suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the stairs. You would have stumbled to the ground if their grip didn’t remain strong, and you wound up in their arms. When you focused your eyes met with a very angry Yuta. You were already panicking, trying to get out of his grasp to run away but he did not let you go.

“What were you doing just now?”

“Nothing!”

You tried to think of anything else to make sure he didn’t find out, but when he started to drag you further into the penthouse you knew where he was taking you.

“No! Let me go!”

“Taeyong!”

“I said let go!”

You were taken to the dining area where most of the others had already gathered. You saw Taeyong and immediately looked away. Upon seeing the scene he came over and took you from Yuta, staring down at you.

“What’s with the commotion this early?”

“Nothing!”

“I found her by the stairwell.” Yuta explained. “She looked like she was ready to run.”

“That’s not true!”

“There’s only one way to find out.” Taeyong smiled. “If he’s lying there’s nothing to worry about, right?’

“Stay out of my head!”

“You know we’re past that.”

You tried to think of anything else, but you knew Taeyong could get past all of that. It was a strange feeling, a tingling sensation in your head as he rummaged around. Then his grip got tighter and you yelled.

“Did you seriously think something like that was going to work?”

“I… I don’t know what-”

“I’ve been very patient with you, giving you space and letting you mess around with your own health but this, putting your own life in danger over a silly thought of escaping? I can’t let that slide.”

“Wa… what are you…”

“Sh. That’s enough from you. Going forward you are sleeping at night with the rest of us, and you will be under our direct supervision. No more being left alone to come up with ridiculous ideas, understood?”

“…”

You would have answered out of fear, but you couldn’t. You felt like something was stuck in your throat, and trying to get it out didn’t yield any results. You looked up at Taeyong with panic in your eyes, remembering the night they kidnapped you.

“No more talking either. It’s much easier to monitor your thoughts this way. Now, let’s eat.”

There was no fighting against that, you couldn’t even speak your mind about his choice anymore. Taeyong pressed a kiss to your head and sat you down at the table. You did still try to speak, trying to get any words out, but it didn’t seem possible. You were in your own little world until the conversation around you drew your attention.

“Taeyong, we have that conference coming up.” Doyoung reminded. “And we all need to attend.”

“Right, and that does include our newest member. I suppose it’s about time we update her wardrobe.”

“Can we get new suits too?” Shotaro asked. “I wanna match with y/n.”

“Yeah. New clothes!” Renjun added. “We can have cute couple outfits with y/n too.”

You wanted to object to that idea about couple outfits. You wouldn’t call yourself a couple, not with any of them, but without a voice it seemed your opinion was invalid. Even if you could speak your mind at the moment they wouldn’t listen anyway.

“Easy. We can’t just go around spending a lot of money.” Kun explained. “We all have plenty of outfits for such an event, whereas y/n doesn’t. She’s the priority.”

“Agreed.” Johnny spoke up. “I’ll take y/n out shopping tomorrow.”

“I want to go too!” Mark cheered. “Please take me with you!”

“And me!” Jeno added.

“It depends on who’s available tomorrow.” Taeyong cut in. “So we’ll decide then.”

You ate a bit, just enough so they wouldn’t complain. Afterwards you tried to excuse yourself from the table but Sicheng quickly grabbed your arm and sat you back down, saying you’d be under his watch for the time being, and he wasn’t done with breakfast. So you just waited around for him until he finished. He then took your hand and led you to his room. You sat on the bed, wondering what you’d be doing since you had to stay with him.

“I do have some things I need to work on first.” Sicheng explained. “So let’s just stay together for a while.”

You just nodded your head, looking around the room. You had never been in here before, not going into any of their rooms. You didn’t want to know anything about them, but it was getting hard to avoid that. They kept sharing things with you. Their favorite games, or films, talking to you about the things they liked to do. Now being in one of their rooms, you could really see who they were. Considering they all lived together you never expected them to have much individually, but you were wrong. Sicheng just seemed to be on his computer with his headphones on, so you thought maybe you could sneak away and hide.

“Sit back down.” Sicheng stated. “I have books you can read.”

So even if he wasn’t looking at you he was well aware of your presence. You huffed but did as he said, going over to his shelf and browsing the books. Some of them were about coding and programming, and the other titles you didn’t recognize. Instead you found some paper and a pen to just doodle with. You were sad you couldn’t sing to yourself anymore, just hum at best, although you could sing in your head. That was always the default, but it was weird to do since you knew other people had access to your head now. So you just thought about what you did, every stroke and all that to keep yourself busy and focused.

“Ya. What do you have there?”

Sicheng pulled you away from your drawings, grabbing the pages too. He found them cute, even if you felt shy.

“Shall we try this on a bigger canvas?”

You weren’t sure what he meant, but Sicheng took your hand and led you to another place. The penthouse was huge, and even though you had been here for weeks now, you hadn’t explored every other room that wasn’t one of the bedrooms. Sicheng brought you into what you could only describe as some kind of arts and crafts room. There were all sorts of pencils and brushes, and everything else you could think of. You could only express your amazement in your head, your mouth hanging open in silent excitement.

“I would have thought you’d find this place yourself, but you were always so isolated. Come on now, let’s have fun.”

Sicheng had you sit down by a blank canvas, bringing over some paints for you as well. He talked a bit about the colors, and how to clean your brushes as you went along. For a while you could forget how you knew him and how you were in such a place. You never had the chance to paint in such a setting, and really wanted to make the most of it. Sicheng left you to immerse yourself, but did stay to keep an eye on you. Although you didn’t realize you had a bit of an audience. Some of the other boys had found you and were taking a look at your painting.

“Pretty.”

You jumped upon hearing Jaehyun’s voice, looking over to see him peering over your shoulder. He smiled and met your eyes.

“I didn’t know you had a talent for art.” Jaehyun pressed a soft kiss against your cheek. “When you’re done we should hang it up around the house.”

“Don’t forget to sign it too.” Hendery chimed in. “I have an idea.”

Hendery reached over and took your hand, dipping your thumb into some paint and having you press it against the corner of the canvas.

“An original signature.”

“Oh, that looks nice.” Jaehyun commented.

After arts and crafts you went with the boys to prepare some snacks, sitting in the living room to watch some TV, followed by video games. You were never really good with the VR stuff, but you always had one of them helping you. They’d take your hands in theirs and guide you through the game. You had fun, but you’d never admit it, even though you were sure they could tell anyway. You dreaded the night though, not sure what sleeping with them would be like. You had avoided it for so long, and now it was out of your hands.

“Y/n, you’ll be with me tonight.”

You weren’t surprised that you’d be sleeping in Taeyong’s bed that night. As if he’d leave you with anyone else after the scolding you got that morning. Usually you slept through the day, but everyone found ways to keep you up and made sure you didn’t sleep. So by the time the sun went down you were actually tired. They made sure you didn’t get any caffeine in you either. You wound up showering in Taeyong’s room, dressing in some of his clothes for pajamas.

“You look sleepy.”

All you did was throw him a glare, but he just laughed. He took your hand and brought you over to bed, tucking you in. You kept your back to him when he slipped in under the covers, but that didn’t stop him from spooning you. As much as you didn’t want to fall asleep, the exhaustion and warmth from Taeyong lulled you to sleep. You just gave in and closed your eyes, wondering what would await you in your dreams.

🖤

You took in a soft breath as you opened your eyes. Of course you were used to Taeyong’s secret room here, but it was annoying to know you weren’t alone. You also couldn’t stay in bed and pretend you were asleep.

“Wakey, wakey.”

Taeyong grabbed your hand and yanked you up, a bright smile on his face. You still felt sleepy, but this place wasn’t for sleep.

“Come on, the others are waiting for you.”

You were already dressed and Taeyong led you up the stairs. You didn’t know what awaited you, but it was very unexpected. Upon opening the door at the top you found yourself in some type of shop. There were dresses and all kinds of fancy clothes around.

“What… wait, I can talk!”

“We’re in the dream world.” Taeyong reminded. “We’re in each other’s heads so of course you can.”

“So… what is this?”

“We need to take you shopping tomorrow.” Ten said. “We could get a head start by figuring out what looks best on you.”

“This can’t be accurate.”

“We don’t need to be, we’re just here to have fun.”

“Let’s start.” Xiaojun cheered. “First we should figure out what dress looks best on you.”

You hadn’t been dress shopping before, let alone like this. Considering all the dresses were white, it kinda felt like you were shopping for your wedding. You never even dated someone you could imagine yourself marrying so this was all the stranger. Still the boys seemed to enjoy it, having you try on different styles and talking among themselves to rate you. They found you beautiful in everything, and it was hard to hide the fact you were burning up from the love and attention they were giving you. Eventually they settled on a top five list, and decided to move onto color.

You thought you’d have to change outfits some more, but to your own surprise, they simply changed the color themselves. It was like some magic trick, the color seeping into the dress and changing hues as they discussed. Asking you to turn around and make certain poses. You kinda felt like a model, except this was all ultimately for you. There was a lot of discussion on color, but they found some good choices. Some wanted to discuss accessories, but that was more appropriate when you had a physical dress to deal with. While they were chatting you found yourself staring in the mirror.

You never had a chance to wear something so beautiful, and even if you still had doubts over your own looks, you couldn’t deny that you looked nice. It brought back memories of all the times you had been at parties, but no one ever asked you to dance. You were shy anyway, and probably weren’t approachable. You might not even have said yes, but it would have been nice to be asked at least once. Maybe someone would convince you.

“Should we dance?”

You were suddenly turned around, coming face to face with Johnny. He had been in casual clothes moments before, but now was dressed in a dashing suit. In fact everything was different. You had been in a dress shop before but now everything appeared to be some kind of dance hall. Even the others were dressed in suits.

“How… what…”

“A conference isn’t really a place to dance, but we can do so here.”

You didn’t really get to answer as he took your hand and led you onto the floor. A slow song began to play and he pulled you close. He had you wrap your arms around his neck, moving his hands to your waist. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, but you also couldn’t get away. He led your body as you two moved together to the music.

“We should have a proper party soon, so we can dance the night away.”

“That’s not necessary…”

“But we have to make up for all the times you weren’t invited to dance.”

“How did you…”

“We’re all connected, remember?”

“You guys always remind me.”

“Excuse me.” You felt a tap on your shoulder. “May I have the next dance?”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips, reaching over to take Jungwoo’s hand. He placed a gentle kiss on your hand before pulling you into his embrace and dancing with you. This all felt like something out of a fairy tale, and a part of you didn’t want to wake up. You traded dance partners multiple times, losing yourself in the moment until you drifted off, resting your head against Doyoung’s shoulder and closing your eyes.

🖤

“Morning sweetheart.”

You felt a soft touch on your head, peeking your eyes open to see Jisung petting you and softly giggling. A soft smile decorated your face. You tried to say good morning back, but it seemed your voice was still gone.

“Sorry, Taeyong makes the rules. How about we get some breakfast though? We have a big day of shopping ahead of us.”

Jisung dragged you out of bed, and then to the dining room to eat. Everyone was happy to see you, Jeno even pulling you into his arms to dance with you a bit. You giggled and then sat down, enjoying the food. Despite all the boys wanting to go with you, only a few could. Besides Taeyong, Johnny, Jaehyun, Kun, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung would be accompanying you. The others complained but Taeyong’s words on the matter were final. So after breakfast you headed out. You were nervous about the elevator, but Taeyong held your hand, reminding you that there would be no problem as long as you were with them.

The trip down was simple and you went to the garage, getting in the back in between Kun and Chenle. You kept your eyes out the window the whole time. This was the first time you had been outside the penthouse in weeks. You could see the city from the ground, see the people walking around and get some fresh air. It was the closest to freedom you had been in so long. You wanted to take it all in, as much as you could before they took you back to your high tower. The boys were well aware of your excitement, watching you fondly as you took everything in.

“We’re here.”

Of course you had no say in any of the actual shopping, but you were very nervous when you realized where they had brought you. This place was somewhere you’d never set foot in, given you could barely afford anything, but that was clearly not a problem for them. They already had a dress in mind for you, so it was a matter of finding one that fit their ideal look and would be an excellent choice for you.

“Come on, let’s find something you like.” Chenle took your hand, leading you over to the dress section. “These colors look the best on you, so we can pick out the one you prefer.”

He was grabbing a few off the rack, holding them up to you. The others were also looking around, well aware that you did also need new clothes. At one point Kun took you over to get your measurements so they knew what size to get and so they could have your dress custom fitted. If you had your voice you would have protested or said something about not needing a fitting, but they wouldn’t have listened to you anyway. They even had you try on some dresses they picked out to see how you looked. Lots of pictures were taken and sent to others to get their opinions too. You wound up going to multiple stores, wanting to make sure all your options were available.

“Oh, this one is so cute.” Jisung cheered. “Let me see if they have it in your size.”

You weren’t supposed to be left alone, that was Taeyong’s rule, but while you were out and about in public that could easily slip their mind. You were with Jisung and the others were around the store, so when he stepped away you were all alone. When you realized you thought maybe you could run, but as soon as you turned around you bumped into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t… wait, do I know you?”

“…”

You would have apologized and moved on if you could, but there was something about this person that felt familiar to you.

“Y/n! Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen you since we graduated, how have you been? Do you remember me? We shared a lot of classes since we had the same major, I’m Changkyun.”

“…”

You just nodded your head, starting to remember him. You did share classes, although you weren’t sure the two of you were ever really friends. Besides assignments and helping each other out you didn’t socialize. If anything you were quite surprised he remembered you.

“How have you been? I can’t believe I ran into you after all this time. I’m in town visiting a friend of mine but I’d love to catch up with you.”

“…”

You didn’t know what to do. Bumping into someone who knew you when you were out of the house, it felt like some sort of sign. Maybe he could help you, but then again you’d wind up putting him in danger. You weren’t sure what NCT was really capable of, and it would be foolish to test them when you were so unsure of the consequences.

“Is everything okay? I must have seriously caught you off guard here, my bad. We could start with something simple, how about some coffee? I heard there’s this great place-”

“Who are you?”

Kun suddenly stepped between the two of you, pushing you behind him and keeping you out of sight. Now you were getting nervous. Changkyun was a bit taken aback by the sudden intrusion, but he brushed it off.

“Oh, are you a friend of y/n’s? I’m an old-”

“I don’t really know who you are, but I would appreciate you staying away from my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?”

Your own eyes went wide at Kun’s words. You never thought he or any of the others would say such a thing, especially when it was far from the truth.

“We should get going.”

Kun took your hand and tried to lead you out of the store, but you suddenly stopped. Changkyun reached over and grabbed your free hand, holding you back.

“Could I at least get your number? I really want to-”

“Let go!”

Of course this wasn’t gonna go unnoticed. The rest of the boys made their appearance, with Johnny grabbing Changkyun’s arm and pulling him off you, shooting a glare at him. Taeyong came over to your side, and you quickly avoided his gaze, feeling as if you were in trouble even though you hadn’t done anything.

“And who are you?”

“None of your business.” Johnny spat. “So leave us alone.”

“I’m trying to speak with y/n, not you.”

“She has no interest in speaking with you, so get lost.”

“And who are you to speak for her?” Changkyun snapped. “Y/n, I just want-”

Jaehyun and Renjun suddenly stepped in front of you, blocking you from Changkyun. You knew things were getting out of hand, but you didn’t have any control over the situation. You were worried what would happen next, but Taeyong spoke up.

“Let’s not cause a scene here. We’re leaving, aren’t we, y/n?”

Taeyong gently nudged you and you looked up at him. He gave you a small nod followed by Renjun and Jaehyun stepping aside. You offered a nervous smile to Changkyun, feeling this weight off your throat.

“It…uh… it was nice seeing you again Changkyun… but I really need to get going…”

Changkyun gave you a strange look. “Are you okay?”

“Fa… fine… let’s catch up some other time…”

“I-”

“Bye now…”

Taeyong wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you along towards the exit. You hung your head, the others following closely behind. Once you were away from the store you looked up at Taeyong to say something, but he held a finger to his lips and nothing came out. Just as he had given your voice back, he took it away again.

“Don’t be upset. You did nothing wrong. Someone left you alone.” Taeyong threw a glare back at Jisung. “Besides, you didn’t cause any trouble, and I’m glad.”

You weren’t quite sure what he meant by that, and he picked up on your confusion, making him chuckle.

“For a moment you thought a familiar face could help you, but ultimately decided against it. Whoever that was, they’re not really a friend of yours, and you agree. You don’t have a connection with anyone besides us, so there was no point. You are starting to understand how our relationship works.”

You wanted to deny that so hard, but you weren’t sure you could actually disagree. You had the time to possibly escape but you didn’t use it. Even when you had your voice you didn’t ask for help. That reality bothered you all the way back to the penthouse. You practically blew your one chance, and you couldn’t understand why. This isn’t where you wanted to be, and yet this is where you ended up today. You hated yourself for being so stupid. Although your attitude wasn’t going to go unnoticed.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Xiaojun stated, taking a seat by your side. “The mind is a complicated thing. You don’t always understand what you truly want.”

“…”

“Your subconscious knows you well, and we may be cheating by being able to see that. We mean no harm, and you certainly know that now.” You shook your head. “No? You don’t believe us? We have gotten closer, but perhaps we need to take things a step further.”

Xiaojun leaned in to kiss your cheek, taking you by surprise. He offered you a smile and then pressed his lips against yours. You pulled away, still in shock.

“What? We’ve told you there are ways to get closer that are lots of fun.” You shook your head. “I could show you. I’m sure the others would like to as well.”

You couldn’t do much as Xiaojun took your hand and led you elsewhere in the house. Although once you realized where you were going, you seriously tried to break free.

“Taeyong.”

“Hm?” Taeyong looked over from his computer. “What’s this?”

“I was thinking that perhaps we should deepen our connection with y/n.”

“How so?”

“You know… and it wouldn’t be a bad idea given the conference is coming up.”

“You make a good point. Not everyone is home right now, but let the others know.”

“Awesome!”

You weren’t entirely sure what was going on, but Xiaojun’s excitement made you worry. Before you knew it you were alone with Taeyong. He came over to your side and took your hands in his, leading you over to the bed. He sat you down at the edge, gently petting your head and pressing a kiss to your temple.

“You don’t have to be worried, we’re not going to hurt you.” Taeyong gave you a smile. “Let me ask you, have you ever been intimate with someone before?”

You looked up at Taeyong with wide eyes, then quickly hid your face, feeling your cheeks warm up from embarrassment. There was no need to even ask cause he surely knew the answer, so he was just toying with you. Taeyong chuckled and grabbed your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his.

“What’s the matter? You don’t have to be shy. A physical connection is well known among regular people, our experience would just be something more.” You shook your head. “No? It’s okay, we’re gonna take good care of you, and you just have to enjoy yourself. Usually I wait for you to come to me in this situation, but given the circumstances, for everyone’s peace of mind, it’s best to strengthen our connection.”

You didn’t like the sound of that. The last time they spoke about you and a connection they had broken into your house and drugged you. Now that you were their prisoner you had no idea what this was all about. You pulled Taeyong’s hand away from you and tried to get up, but he quickly sat you back down, leaning in close.

“I’m not gonna let you run away from this. It is going to happen sooner or later, and since we need to bring you along to the conference, we need to be able to keep an eye on you since I can’t do it all alone.”

Taeyong grabbed your shirt, tugging it up but you quickly stopped him. You shook your head again. Whatever would come of this, you didn’t want to know. You were pleading with Taeyong, you’d behave at this conference if that’s what it took.

“Baby, I know you’ll behave, but this is more than that.” Taeyong pushed you down. “Calm down, your heart will be racing soon enough.”

Soon enough his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you deeply. He only stopped to catch his breath, and you began to feel a strange dizziness. Your vision was getting blurry, and some kind of warmth began to spread around your body. You had no idea what was going on but as Taeyong’s lips trailed down your body, every point of contact felt like a spark. You tried to get him off you, but there wasn’t any strength in your body. You were completely at his mercy now, unable to do anything as he stripped you down to your panties and bra, his hands exploring your body.

“It’s easy to tell now that you’re a virgin. You had no connections in your life, so it’s doubtful anyone would ever take things to the next level. Your body is sensitive to every little thing and more, partially thanks to me, but that’s beyond the point. You don’t have to worry, I’ll know when you’re at your limits, so just trust me.”

You lightly shook your head, hearing Taeyong chuckle in response. He gently turned you over and unclasped your bra, helping you out of it. You could feel your cheeks burning, feeling shy now that you were partially exposed. You had closed your eyes, but that just let your imagination run wild as Taeyong’s hands continued to feel you up. Although when you felt him close to your breasts your eyes shot open and you grabbed his hands. A soft smile adorned his lips, and he continued his actions despite your grip. You were so mesmerized by his gaze that you couldn’t stop his gentle touch from grabbing your breasts and massaging them gently.

“It feels good, doesn’t it? You’ve been so stressed around the house, you deserve some time to unwind.”

You slowly let go, allowing Taeyong to continue, closing your eyes and biting your lip. You didn’t want to make noise, didn’t want to admit you liked how you felt. He didn’t mind though, this was gonna be a long night, and there would be plenty of time to get you in the right mood. Although you opened your eyes when you felt his wet lips on your belly, kissing down. You tried to move away but he grabbed your hips and held you down.

“We’re getting to the good part, I just need you to be patient.”

Taeyong took off his shirt and you couldn’t help but stare. You hadn’t seen a shirtless man up close before, and he was very pretty. He noticed your gaze, taking your hands and letting you feel him up. You couldn’t help yourself, feeling the definition of his abs, how warm he was. After a moment Taeyong guided your hands down to his pants but you quickly pulled away, avoiding his gaze.

“Still shy.” Taeyong chuckled. “That’s alright.”

You could hear as Taeyong took off his pants, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look. That is until you felt a hand grab your chin. You immediately shut your eyes, but you could feel his gaze on you. Soon enough he let you go and pushed you back down. He kept a hand on your stomach to keep you still, then you felt his fingers run up against your panties, making you shiver. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out, having forgotten your voice was stolen. Instead you were making noises you didn’t know were possible. You were getting this tingling sensation between your legs, and you tried to close them, but Taeyong pulled them apart.

“Don’t.”

You were starting to shake, and Taeyong could feel you trembling beneath his fingers. When you felt him tugging your panties to the side you once again made a move to stop him but discovered that you couldn’t. The two of you were no longer alone. Your hands had been grabbed and pinned above your head by Mark and Jeno. When you tried to pull away they held you tighter, restricting your movements. You could barely move as you felt Taeyong’s cold fingers against your core. Desperately wanting to curl up and move away, but you were held down firmly. If you could speak it would all be incoherent nonsense anyway.

After a while Taeyong closed your legs a bit, sliding your panties off you before grabbing your thighs, massaging them lightly, and pressing a kiss against each one. Your legs were shaking as he spread them again. His fingers were one thing, but when you felt his tongue slide against your slit you threw your head back. The cold and wet feeling was beyond words, a sensation that left your mouth hanging open in bliss.

“She looks so hot like this.” Jeno commented. “I wanna use those lips.”

“As if Taeyong’s gonna let us do anything right now.”

“You think he’ll-”

“Don’t try anything, you know better.”

“Still…”

Moans and whimpers were the only sounds you were able to make as Taeyong continued doing whatever it was he was doing between your legs. Even if it was cold, you were feeling this warmth growing inside you. It was terrifying and exciting all at once. You wanted to beg for mercy, but they wouldn’t listen to that. You felt like something was rising and going to overflow when Taeyong suddenly stopped. Your gaze shot down at him, confused and upset, which just made him chuckle.

“If you’re gonna cum, it’s gonna be on my cock.”

Your face was burning. No one had ever spoken to you that way, and you couldn’t even speak your mind to understand where everything was going. Taeyong climbed on top of you, making you desperately pull your hands from Jeno and Mark, but they held you tight. You felt so small under Taeyong’s gaze, and slowly became aware of something poking your stomach. You didn’t want to look, but you had a good idea what that was.

“I think you’re ready, don’t you?” You shook your head. “I’ll go slow.”

You struggled to get your arms free again but it was no use. You started to feel something poking at your center, running along the sensitive area. You were whimpering, moreso when you felt something pushing against you. It was obvious where this was all going, but you were still shocked as you felt something opening you up that felt so good. For a moment you thought he was going to rip you in half, but your body adjusted, and you couldn’t deny it was a good feeling. Although you weren’t prepared for when he started moving. You bit your lip, becoming a mess beneath him. The other two had released you so Taeyong could take your hands in his and hold you close.

That heat came back and started growing again. When your hands began to squeeze Taeyong’s he could tell you were close, seizing the moment with a kiss. It only seemed right to kiss back, having a nice sensation all over your body, and pressing your lips together was just the cherry on top. Your body trembled underneath him, every part of you feeling a new type of pleasure. Each of his thrusts just created a ripple effect, even if it faded bit by bit. Then there was a new sensation as you felt Taeyong’s uneven hot breath on you, realizing he was on the edge too. Before you knew it you felt something warm between your legs and dripping out onto the bed sheets.

“Fuck, that felt good. You’re so tight, definitely a virgin, well, you were.”

You were a bit dazed as your body was still riding out this feeling of bliss. You had a tingling sensation all over your body, and felt warm in a new way. Someone was softly petting your head, making you hum pleasantly.

“Can I go next?” Mark asked. “I want a turn before the others show up.”

“No. I’m next.” Xioajun stated as he entered. “This was my idea, and I just told everyone else about it too. They’re gonna be rushing home, I know it.”

“The group chat must be on fire.” Jeno commented. “This is why I keep it on mute.”

“No wonder you’re always late to things.”

“Shut it.”

“Easy now.” Taeyong warned. “Let’s not fight among ourselves. Besides, Xiaojun has a point, this was his lovely idea, so he should get a turn before anyone else.”

“And how is our lovely girl?” Xiaojun climbed onto the bed. “She looks very happy.”

“She’s having a wonderful time.”

“Does she even know what comes next?”

“She’ll figure it out eventually.”

Xiaojun pressed a soft kiss to your lips, making you giggle. His hands trailed down your body, getting a reaction out of you wherever he made skin to skin contact. He stripped out of his clothes, pressing kisses against your chest.

“Are you ready for another round?”

Your response was a content whine, which to him meant a yes. Xiaojun reached down, his fingers feeling you up and informing him about the mess between your legs.

“You didn’t use protection?”

“Oh shit, yeah.” Taeyong chuckled. “We don’t really keep condoms around here.”

“You should message one of the others to buy some morning after pills. Unless you want to be a father.”

“No. That’s a discussion to have with her.”

“But not this?”

“It was your idea, but if you don’t-”

“Shut up.”

“That’s what I thought.”

You were still resting and dazed as Xiaojun looked you over, but when you felt his hands down there you gained some clarity. You attempted to stop him but your hands were grabbed again. Xiaojun met your gaze, giggling at your reactions.

“Are you tired?” You nodded. “I know baby, but this is the best time to keep going. Trust me, you’ll feel great.”

Xiaojun stripped out of his clothes, and you couldn’t tear away your gaze. You were a bit upset that you couldn’t feel him up like Taeyong, but you’d be feeling something from him soon enough. Since you were still sensitive, Xiaojun didn’t need much time to prep you. He didn’t mind diving into the mess between your legs and adding to it. The sensation was different this time. It was still nice, but in a way that felt dragged out and long lasting. You ended up grabbing onto Xiaojun’s arms as he hovered above you. He liked your attention very much, knowing he rarely ever got it, and certainly not like this before.

The wet sounds of him entering you, feeling the stretch again, it made your eyes roll to the back of your head. You shut your eyes and let your mouth hang open, getting lost in the feeling of him. Xiaojun peppered your body in kisses, matching them with his thrusts. Your body was still so sensitive due to the last orgasm but you were happily accepting Xiaojun. By now you had completely forgotten how this had all started out, just being in the moment and experiencing new things for the first time.

“Fuck… I’m close… can you handle more, love?”

You certainly couldn’t respond, even if your thoughts were coherent enough, but your body spoke for itself. Your grip on Xiaojun got tighter as you felt your second climax take over. Your body’s reaction was enough to push him over the edge. He buried his head in the crook of your neck as he reached his own high. His hot breath right up against your skin, tickling you. For a moment everything had gone black, but your vision returned, albeit blurry.

“I can already feel our connection growing.”

Xiaojun pressed another kiss to your cheek before moving off of you and laying down by your side. You kept your eyes on him, a daze smile on your face before you saw someone else looking down at you. Jeno had a big grin on his face.

“Can I go next?” You nodded with a dopey grin on your face. “Excellent.”

“Shouldn’t I go next?” Mark questioned. “I’m older.”

“But I got permission from y/n first, so I win.”

Jeno pressed a soft kiss to your head. You returned his kindness with a goofy smile. You were honestly feeling a bit empty and wanted some more attention. Your whines and little pout got the message across though. Jeno stripped out of his shirt and crawled down your chest leaving some marks along the way. He was the first to do so and made you feel like you had his full attention. He moved off the bed and went over to the edge, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him. You whimpered at the sudden movement, but then he was massaging your thighs and apologizing for being rough.

“You can take it baby, I know you can.”

Eventually his hands made it to your center, his fingers easily entering your sloppy center. He didn’t mind the mess, more than happy to dig in and add his own seed. They’d all make sure you were alright in the end. Jeno loved the look on your face, that ditzy smile and hazy eyes. He wanted to change it and make sure he was the only thing on your mind. You let out a ragged moan as he fingered you, making him well aware of your exhausted state. Still, he intended to tire you more. He did as he pleased, playing with you until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to feel you from the inside.

Your whole body tensed up for a moment as he suddenly entered you. It took a bit to adjust as it was so unexpected, and he was quite big. Your arms flailed around looking for something to grab onto. One holding onto the sheets and the other holding his bicep tightly. He was very firm all over, and that was the bit of information that kept you focused on him. His movements all represented strength, and your whole body shook alongside him. He eventually grabbed your arms and pinned them down for a bit before grabbing your hips to hold you still.

“You feel so good. Even my own imagination couldn’t take me this far.”

More incoherent noises spilled from your mouth. Jeno was slightly upset that you couldn’t talk, but this was enough for now. This was only the beginning of a very fun night. You wound up wrapping your legs around Jeno, another hand grabbing his waist. You wanted more and more as you edged closer, feeling as if your whole world was going to explode. Jeno picked you up in his arms, pressing your body against his as he pushed you over the edge. You trembled in his arms as another orgasm ripped through you. Your breathing was heavy and you leaned against Jeno, feeling your whole body melt.

He didn’t stop though as he wasn’t finished. While you were dissolving in your bliss he kept thrusting into you until he reached his high. He squeezed you tightly as his continued his erratic moments, calming down a few seconds later. He still held you in his arms, although he soon became aware of your barely conscious state. He gently laid you down, brushing some hair out of your face. Taeyong took a closer look at you, seeing that they had exhausted you to new heights. He ordered the boys to get a bath going to clean you up, even if Mark was whining.

“We need to get her to bed, and then we’ll continue.”

You were vaguely aware of the warm bath you were in, but it felt nice against your aching limbs. Strong hands tucked you into bed, petting you softly and whispering sweet lullabies. You were already tired and it was easy to fall asleep. In your state you weren’t even concerned about what would happen when you shut your eyes.

🖤

You opened your eyes to find yourself in the usual dream starting point. As you sat up you realized you didn’t feel any pain. You were fine, as if nothing had happened at all. When you looked out the window you saw the night sky. You got out of bed and looked around, rather surprised to be alone. Your memories of reality were a bit hazy but you knew what had happened, which made you feel a bit uneasy. Since you were alone you figured you could try to get away before anyone found you. So you rushed up the stairs, wanting your own room, but that’s not what you got.

Instead you found yourself in the galaxy void. Nothing but stars as far as the eye could see. Then you noticed your clothes had changed too. You found yourself in white robes like before, and it was starting to worry you. For a moment you thought to run, but there was nowhere to go, and before you could think of something else you were grabbed. Someone came up and hugged you from behind, resting their chin on your shoulder. You carefully looked over to see who it was, discovering that Mark was embracing you, his eyes shut with a gentle hum escaping his lips.

“You look really pretty.”

“Where…” You were surprised you could speak. “My voice… this is a dream… a place I’ve never been before… so how…”

“Taeyong likes to call it the beginning. Since at first there was nothing before the big bang, but of course he didn’t like the emptiness so he added the stars.”

“The beginning?”

“Before dreams properly form or we come in to shape it, there’s nothing, so this is only the beginning.”

“But I’m here… and so are you?”

“Yeah, but Taeyong is around here somewhere, and he put you here for now.”

“Why?”

“Cause he’s getting things ready.”

“Ready?”

“Do you think only those three were gonna have fun? I didn’t get my turn.”

“I’m not some-”

“In order to deepen our connection, we all have to participate. We’re all connected, so that only makes sense.”

“I… I can’t-”

“We’re in the land of dreams where anything is possible. Not sure how you’ll feel in the morning though.”

“What does that mean?”

“I guess we’ll see. Shall we?”

“I-”

Mark took your hand and pulled you along. Even if there was still a void of stars a door had appeared, glowing white. It seemed surreal and scary, but Mark kept dragging you along.

“The others are waiting for you.”

🖤

You felt a heavy weight on your chest, and along the rest of your body. You could barely move around, but you managed to sit up. This was Taeyong’s room, so it was certainly the real world. At least you hoped. There would be no good reason for you to be aching like this in some kind of dream. You tried getting out of bed only to collapse to the floor. Your legs were so shaky and you knew walking wasn’t going to be an option at the moment. You thought to crawl but even that just hurt. Now you were basically stuck on the floor.

“Good mor- y/n?”

Sicheng came into the room with a food tray, but when he noticed the bed empty he panicked. You couldn’t have gone far so he put the tray down on the nearest table and soon found you on the floor. He helped you back onto the bed, although feeling his touch sent a rush of memories to the front of your mind. All the hands that had touched your body last night, leaving their marks and making you feel something you couldn’t describe, but it resonated with your entire being.

“You should still be in bed. It’s gonna take a while for you to recover.”

Once again your voice was gone, but you didn’t know how to speak about what you remembered. It was a dream, but not something you had made up, it was real and all the others shared in your memories. You carefully pulled up your legs and wrapped your arms around yourself. You didn’t want to believe any of it had happened, but your mind was so worn down that your body was remembering and feeling something you had only experienced in your dreams. You wouldn’t admit that the tingling sensations that were still feeling were nice. It wasn’t something you should remember in a positive light but you couldn’t help it. As if you had gotten all the love and attention you had been missing in one night.

“I brought you breakfast.” Sicheng wrapped a blanket around you. “Something warm and soft, and some medicine if you want it.”

You merely nodded your head. Sicheng brought over the food and helped you eat, knowing you weren’t at full strength. He didn’t mention last night either, and you weren’t sure if that was good or bad. You were mostly in your own head until you heard something strange.

‘She’s so cute.’

You looked around, thinking someone else had entered the room, but it was just you and Sicheng. He seemed to notice your reaction and chuckled.

“Did you hear me?” You looked over. “I called you cute.”

Your eyes went wide. He was right next to you but the voice had been low and faded. It couldn’t be him, but he knew what you had heard.

“We’re closer now, remember? I see you can read my mind a bit. That’s good.”

You couldn’t believe that was true, but that had been mentioned to you before. The connection goes both ways, and they said last night made it stronger. When you finished with breakfast Sicheng tucked you into bed and let you rest. It was difficult to fall asleep, especially since the last dream you had was so intense. It was daytime though, no one else was sleeping, so you used that as a reason to let yourself rest. Even if in the dream world you weren’t in any pain, you didn’t want to do much but sleep. Since it was just you in the dream you were in control, so you went to your bedroom and laid down, getting some rest.

In the coming days you stayed in bed, sleeping and being woken up to eat. You were getting better, some of the boys helping you take a bath and change clothes on occasion. When you were finally able to walk again you joined them all for breakfast. That’s when you first became aware of the change. The table was so loud since you could hear all these thoughts. Some were enjoying the food, others thinking about their day and the work that needed to be done. It was giving you a bit of a headache, and that was starting to give you a headache.

“Are you alright?” You shook your head. “Too loud, huh?”

Yuta took you away from the dining table and over to the living room. Things got a little quieter, but you could hear faded voices, like background noise.

“Do you feel better?” You nodded. “That’s good. Sorry about that, I guess we should go over things properly with you. Since the connection has been strengthened, being in each other’s head is much easier. It’s more natural now, and it goes both ways. Although I understand when this first starts it can be overwhelming. The best thing to do is try to focus on one thing, or one voice, until we all get more in sync. I’m sure now that you’re away from the others it’s all more like background noise, and it’ll wind up being that way once you adjust.”

It was making sense even if it all sounded crazy to you. Yuta told you to take some time and to join the rest when you felt better. Although he’d come by to check on you if you took too long. You understood what he meant and thanked him, being left alone with your own thoughts. Hearing all this really made you wonder about the others. They all seemed so normal, besides the kidnapping and dream stuff, but they were all in your position at some point. Now you were wondering how the others ended up joining this group. At some point it must have only been Taeyong, so which one of them was the first, were others tricked like you, or did they join willingly or something else entirely.

You had a lot of questions, but you knew you weren’t gonna get answers. Your stomach growling reminded you of the present and your current situation. You needed to eat, so you made your way back over to the dining room, keeping focused on the table, the foods that were available and your utensils. It was still loud, but not as bad as before. Like Yuta said, you’d get used to the other voices eventually. At least you hoped that was true. Since you were back on your feet things went back to normal with a few of them staying to babysit you. Of course you still had the voices, but only having to worry about one or two at a time made it easier to get used to and gradually you can quiet down the noise when more than a handful were present.

You had gotten so used to the routine you had completely forgotten about the conference that was coming up. It had nothing to do with you really, but you had gone shopping and they intended to take you with them. You only knew when the day had arrived because all of the boys were around the house getting dressed and talking to each other about the gaming company Taeyong owned. You were left alone for a good while before Doyoung and Xiaojun came to find you to get you ready. They made sure you took a shower, getting your hair and makeup done as well as making sure you were comfortable in your dress. A bunch of compliments flooded into your head as you looked yourself over in the mirror, everyone catching a glimpse of you.

“You look gorgeous.” Taeyong commented. “A lot of eyes are gonna be on you. Don’t be nervous. One of us will always be by your side.”

It took all day for everyone to get ready, and then you made your way over to the conference. There were at least five cars that they needed to take to fit everyone, and you rode with Taeyong, Johnny, and Haechan. The conference was being held at a hotel venue, up on the second floor. As you arrived a valet took the car to park, and Taeyong had you wrap your arm around his as he led you inside. You didn’t really recognize anyone around, but they all seemed to know the boys. It wasn’t their first time meeting one another, but it was a first for you. Of course Taeyong hadn’t given you your voice back, so when others introduced themselves to you all you could do was smile and nod.

Many just took it as you were nervous, but since you had an arm around one of the boys, they also knew it was dumb to make any kind of move. You really didn’t know what was going on around you. Just a lot of tech talk, and business stuff. None of it was for you anyway, you were arm candy, and no one even bothered to start a conversation with you. As Taeyong said, someone would always be with you, so you’d be traded off between the members, but they were pretty busy that to your own surprise you did wind up by yourself. You stuck to a corner, trying to look for one of the others. This wasn’t a place you wanted to be alone in.

“Come on.”

You were suddenly grabbed, thinking you were going to be scolded by one of the members for being alone, but to your surprise it was someone else. You couldn’t speak their name, and you certainly couldn’t pull away from them. You were worried though, knowing that the others would notice your absence soon enough.

“I had no idea you’d be here, but it makes sense now. I knew those guys you were with before looked familiar.” Changkyun explained. “What the hell are you doing with NCT?”

You couldn’t look Changkyun in the eyes, starting to get very nervous. This was like the dress shop all over again, and you still had no voice. He dragged you outside the venue and into the hallway.

“Do you know how fucken weird those guys are? I’ve heard rumors about their recruitments and the mentality they have with each other. I don’t understand how they still get invited to such events either.”

“…”

“Y/n, are you listening to me?” Changkyun grabbed your shoulders, having you look at him. “You shouldn’t be with them. I don’t know how you got wrapped up in their mess, but let’s get you out of here first.”

Changkyun took your hand and led you over to the stairs but you pulled away from him. You couldn’t just leave, and you’d be in trouble if they caught you like this. You tried to go back but Changkyun caught up with you and held you back.

“Are you okay? Do they have something over you?”

“…”

“Y/n?” You shook your head. “Say something, are you alright?”

“…”

“Did they do something to you? Even back at the shop-”

You pulled away from Changkyun and shook your head. You have to go find one of the other boys before things get really bad. You tried to run off but Changkyun grabbed your arm again and dragged you along. You knew he was worried about you, and that’s all this was, you would be too if you were in his place, but there were things he didn’t understand. You kept trying to fight him but his grip was firm. You wished you could speak so you could explain somethings, but even in desperation your voice was absent.

“Y/n!”

The voice sent shivers down your spine. You looked back as YangYang screamed out your name in an angry tone, you knew you were in trouble no matter what. Of course you weren’t the only one startled. Changkyun quickly pulled you close to him and you didn’t realize he was already at the steps. When he pulled on your arm you stumbled down onto the steps and lost your footing. In your sudden fall you ended up dragging Changkyun down with you, the both of you tumbling down the stairs. You could feel the hits on your body, but you didn’t remember landing as everything went black.

🖤

“Y/n!”

At one point it became apparent that no one had their eyes on you, and they started to worry. They didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to try and run off, but they still worried regardless. They started looking for you, and YangYang was the first to step outside the venue. He immediately saw you struggling with someone and called out to you. Although he could only watch as you fell down, unable to help you. He rushed over the stairs, seeing you at the bottom.

By now the others were aware of his own distress and made their way to the scene. YangYang skipped over steps as he rushed down to you, pulling you into his arms. You were completely unresponsive, unlike the other person. Most of all he was worried cause he wasn’t picking up anything from you.

“Ugh… y/n! Y/n-”

“Don’t touch her!”

YangYang screamed at the other guy, holding you closer. A few others had rushed down, examining you and shoving the other away. You were still breathing, but unconscious, and they were becoming aware of the biggest issue.

“What happened?” Taeyong asked. “Who’s responsible?”

“That fucker!” YangYang yelled. “He was holding y/n hostage or some shit! He almost killed her!”

“Hm.”

Taeyong looked over at the other, immediately recognizing him from the shop before. The boy was still on the ground, and Taeyong came down closer to him.

“You know she doesn’t think of you as a friend, right? You’re just a familiar face, an acquaintance at best. I’m not entirely sure what your intentions were tonight, but I’m not a fan of you messing with my things.”

“She’s not a thing! And I don’t-”

“It doesn’t matter. She belongs to me, and I won’t be having someone like you around.” Taeyong stated. “One of you go tell the valets to bring the cars around. We’re leaving.”

Johnny took you from YangYang’s arms carrying you over to the main entrance. When Changkyun tried to stand he got kicked down, more worried than before but seeing that he couldn’t do much of anything. You were carefully put into the back of the car, your head resting in Jaemin’s lap. The main issue hadn’t been addressed, but everyone was well aware of it. When they got you home they laid you down in Taeyong’s bed, some carefully getting you out of your clothes so you’d be comfortable. You didn’t have any injuries aside from the obvious head trauma. Everyone was waiting on Taeyong for how to proceed.

“This has never happened before.” Mark mumbled. “What do we do?”

“How is this even possible to begin with?” Hendery questioned. “There’s… nothing…”

“She’s not dead.” Taeyong reminded. “Just lost.”

“How do we find her then?” Jisung asked. “Where do we even start?”

“Not we, me. I’ll find her, I have the best chance.”

“What if you don’t…”

“I will. No matter how long it takes. So you all need to keep an eye on us.”

Taeyong undressed as well, laying down in bed next to you. He softly caressed your cheek. He was worried, but he knew everything would be alright in the end. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, sinking into the void.

🖤

Even when you opened your eyes there was still darkness. You sat up, seeing nothing for miles on end. This place was strangely familiar though, like the galaxy void Taeyong created, except there were no stars here. You managed to sit up, wondering how you wound up here, and where here was.

“Hello…”

Your voice echoed into the nothing, and there was no response. You figured you were unconscious, but this wasn’t just you being asleep. If you were, you’d be in Taeyong’s room, or the galaxy, but this was neither. You got up and started walking, no real purpose in mind, just thinking maybe things would change. You didn’t know for how long you walked, but your legs were tired so you collapsed to the floor. This whole place was starting to scare you and you had no idea what to do. You were alone, so alone, in a way you had never been before.

You hugged your knees to your chest, feeling the first few tears slide down your face. You wanted nothing more than to find someone else, anyone else, in this void, so you wouldn’t be alone. Now you wished to be in that galaxy, surrounded by stars, even if it meant you would get swallowed up by it. After some tears you told yourself to get up and figure it out, that you weren’t completely helpless. So you stood up and wiped away your tears, getting your feet to move, and then you were sprinting.

As you ran the tears dried up, and you began to step on the stars, you couldn’t believe it was happening, but it brought you so much joy. You came to a quick stop and fell to the floor, staring at the ground, at the stars, in awe. You felt less alone and the tears began to fall again. While crying you didn’t realize the footsteps approaching, not until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t know who it was but you just stood up and hugged them, crying harder.

“Don’t leave me again… please… I don’t wanna be alone…”

“I’m sorry.” Taeyong wrapped his arms around you, gently rubbing your back. “This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

You cried all your tears as Taeyong held you, gently rocking you back and forth. You didn’t want to let go, you didn’t want him to disappear again. When he tried to pull away you only whimpered, holding him tightly.

“Y/n, you have to wake up, both of us do. The others must be so worried.”

“The others?”

“Yeah. We’ve missed you, and we want you to come home.”

“You mean that?”

“Of course. We’re connected, remember, one big happy family. Just close your eyes for me.”

“You won’t disappear?”

“No, I won’t.”

You looked up at Taeyong, still holding him tight. He smiled at you, reaching over to wipe away your tears. He assured you everything would be okay, and you trusted him. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, starting to feel like you were sinking. It was a similar feeling, but you weren’t afraid this time. Just wishing that everything would be alright in the end.

🖤

When you opened your eyes there was light, and that brought a smile to your face. You sat up so fast that you got a headache, and you soon found Sungchan by your side.

“Y/n, are you alright? How are you feeling?”

“My head…”

“It’s okay, everything is going to be okay. You’ve been out for a few days but-”

“Days!”

“Nothing bad happened! We’ve been looking after both of you and-”

“Both… Taeyong!”

You finally realized Taeyong was next to you, seeing that he was still sleeping. You tried to shake him awake, but he didn’t budge. You felt the tears building up again, but then Taeyong inhaled softly, opening his eyes. It took a moment for his vision to adjust, but when he saw you he smiled.

“Hi.”

“Taeyong…”

“You’re okay.”

“And you?”

“Never better.”

The door burst open as the others poured into the room, glad to see that you were both finally awake. They rushed over to your side to check on you, and you couldn’t help the tears. They had all been so worried about you, and some were even tearing up as well. Those that could pull you into a big hug did, dragging Taeyong into it as well.

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s not your fault.” Ten reminded. “You did nothing wrong, it’s on us.”

“I’m sorry… please don’t leave me alone again.”

“We’d never do that.”

“We’ve got you, y/n.” Taeyong assured. “We’re all family, we’re all NCT.”

“Thank you… thank you so much…”

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cricket-reader · 1 year

Text

Selfish Touch

Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox

Summary: Bucky is scared to have you stay the night, terrified that he’ll hurt you. You assure him that it’ll be okay.

Warnings: language, Bucky’s negative thoughts, nightmare of Bucky’s time in Hydra, murder, abuse, torture, fluff,

Word Count: 1716

Prompt: "You're doing great." | Injection | Nightmare | Duct Tape Murder

A/N: Day 6 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom

It wasn’t a surprise that the former Winter Soldier got nightmares. After all of the trauma he’s been through, it only makes sense.

That is why he was hesitant to let you sleep over at his house. He knew that in normal relationships these days that was a normal thing. He was anything but normal, however. He often feared that he was talking things too slow. That you’d leave and find someone better because he knew you could do so much better.

You always made sure to reassure him though. You never wanted him to be uncomfortable in your relationship, and you knew it would take time. Hell, it took years for you two to even start to become friends.

He still had issues trusting people no matter how nice and perfect they seemed.

It was a slow process, but you two had begun seeing each other more often. You’d stop by his place and make him food sometimes or he’d invite you for dinner. Each time you left, worries clouded his brain. Should he let you stay? Should he do more? Would you leave him if he didn’t do more soon?

Bucky knew he was broken. It didn’t take a genius to see that. How you loved him in the first place was a mystery he feared that he’d never get the answer to. Did you even know the answer to that question?

When he finally got the guts to allow you to stay over, he had prepared. His bed that he never used was set up, clean sheets and everything. He had a syringe on the nightstand on your side of the bed just in case. He also had to dust since the room was so out of use. Everything has to be perfect for you.

When you both finished your steak dinner that Bucky had prepared, you sat down to watch a movie. You curled into Bucky’s side and he wrapped his arm around you. This was always Bucky’s favourite part of your evenings together. He loved holding you in his arms. He craved every touch you gave him because, although he’d never admit it, he was badly touch starved.

He particularly liked it when you picked out funny shows. Your laugh was infectious, and he loved hearing it. He’d even go as far as to say it was his favourite sound.

Horror movies always came in as his second favourite because he’d love the way you’d gasp and hold him closer when a scary scene came up. He was sure you didn’t even realise you were doing it. That only made it cuter.

After the movie, you yawned and stretched your legs, ready to go home. Bucky on the other hand was freaking out. He didn’t know how to tell you he wanted you to stay over. He knew he should have just texted you beforehand. You were probably going to say no. That would be incredibly mortifying.

“I should head out if I don’t want to fall asleep on the way home,” you smiled at him, reaching out for a hug. You frowned when you noticed how pale your boyfriend was and how he looked like he was about to throw up. “Babe? You okay?”

Bucky cleared his throat and wiped his sweaty palm on his jeans. He was looking anywhere but at you. Noticing his state of distress, you pulled him in for a hug to try to calm his nerves.

“Would you… would you maybe stay? I mean you don’t have plans early tomorrow, right, so I just figured maybe if you want… we don’t have to, I just…”

You pushed yourself away from him, so you could look into his beautiful blue eyes. “Really? You want me to stay?”

“Only if you want to,” he mumbled, his face lowering. You smiled, seeing the red creep onto the tips of his ears. You loved him so much, he was such an adorable gentleman.

“I would love to,” you frowned.

“But?”

“But I don’t have any clothes or my toothbrush…”

“I have some clothes you could sleep in… if that’s okay with you. I also have extra toothbrushes…”

You smirked at him, “Hmm, seems like you’re prepared.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, the blush spreading to his cheeks. You booped his nose and told him how cute he was. That just got him even more flustered.

You smiled as you went to brush your teeth. Bucky set one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants on the counter for you as you were brushing your teeth.

As you were getting dressed, Bucky sat on the bed, twiddling his thumbs. How would he bring up his nightmares to you? Better yet, how would he tell you that if he lost control you’d have to sedate him? You’d probably run for the hills. Knowing you, you probably wouldn’t say a thing even if you were terrified. Maybe he should just go to sleep on the floor in front of the television like usual.

“What’s wrong, Buck?”

His heart beat faster and tears formed in his eyes. He’d never be normal. He’d always be a monster. You deserved so much better than him. He was so broken, broken beyond repair.

“Bucky?” Your voice was soft and gentle, your hands reaching down to hold his own hands. “What’s wrong, hun?”

“I… I still have nightmares… about…”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him as he knew you would.

He shook his head. “No it’s not okay. I could hurt you, and I never want to hurt you… you’re too precious for me.”

“Bucky…”

He got up and grabbed the needle. “If anything happens during the night, I need you to promise me that you’ll inject me with this.”

Your eyes went wide. Bucky saw that and cursed himself, he knew it was too soon. You were going to leave him… as you probably should.

“What is that?”

“It’s a sedative, I got it from Wakanda. It’ll work to keep me down. If anything happens, if you’re ever scared of me just… use it, okay?”

You grabbed his hands in yours. “Bucky, I’m not scared of you.”

“But—”

You gently shushed him. You could never be scared of Bucky. He was a good man, and you loved him with all your heart. You know he’d never hurt you.

When both of you got settled into bed, Bucky was too scared to even touch you. He really was terrified of hurting you. All the things he had done as the Winter Soldier just proved how he shouldn’t ever get to touch you.

Having an inkling of your boyfriend’s fears, you scooted over to snuggle into him. You were well aware of the fact that he loved cuddling with you. In fact, he craved it.

You both fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms.

Bucky had really hoped that having you lying next to him would erase any nightmare. He should have known better than to hope. Because although you were wonderful, Hydra’s hold of him would never escape.

It was a cold night when the Winter Soldier went on a mission to kill the senator that had been getting too close to finding Hydra. He had dropped down on the top of the building and went through the roof access door. It was the only one without alarms, only helping out Hydra’s assassination.

He walked through the halls and found the senator and his wife in bed. He first sliced the throat of the woman before going to find the senator who had fled. The stout man was scurrying down the stairs.

The Winter Soldier dropped down from the balcony, ignoring the pain it brought to his ankles. He had been through worse. Plus, he had a job to do.

Their Winter Soldier grabbed onto the man’s throat and held him in the air. He began squeezing the life out of him.

When he finished, he went to leave. He froze however, seeing a child with wide tearful eyes. Every witness was to be eliminated. The Winter Soldier couldn’t, however, bring it upon himself to kill this innocent little being. He was skinny and blond with blue eyes, and it pulled at his mind and heart. He just couldn’t do it. The soldier ran from the building and went back to Hydra.

Upon finding out their asset had failed to complete the mission with no witnesses, they knew it had been too long since he’d been wiped. First, he had to be punished, though. The Hydra guards began to beat his body, and he took it like the good little soldier he was. Every kick and punch was ignored as he tried to think about why that little boy seemed so familiar.

They grabbed him and hauled him to the machine. Once they had the restraints around his body, they brought out the boy. Mouth guard already in, the soldier began screaming. He struggled to get out of his restraints. They watched him kill the boy before the familiar sound of electricity began to crackle in his ears

“Bucky… Bucky…”

The Winter Soldier froze in the chair.

You woke up to hear your boyfriend whimpering and pleading. It absolutely broke your heart. Tears streamed down your face as he continued to cry. You knew you shouldn’t touch him, worried that he’d react negatively to your touch. All you could do was call out his name and hope that he would wake up.

When Bucky woke up he awakened with a start, gasping for air. He felt gentle arms wrap around him as small kisses were placed on his sweating forehead. He then remembered where he was, and more importantly who he was with.

He should have felt embarrassed to be crying into your chest while you deftly carded your hands through his hair. He should have been ashamed that you were comforting him after having a nightmare filled with murder. He should have pushed you away like he does everyone else. But he let you stay.

“You’re okay, hun. It’s alright. You’re safe now. I’ve got you. You’re doing great for me, just breathe.”

Call him selfish, but he needed you. He needed your touch, your gentle words, your warmth. He needed all of it.

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the-kr8tor · 3 months

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Ahem...bestie likes someone else.. ouch:( WHY AM I HURT I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR THEM WH- ANYWAYS ANGST- Daily Hobie HC! Lets start at the beginning, shall we? Hobie Brown, the youngest sibling of 9. Of course, with such a large and unstable household, there was never enough food to go around. His older siblings would often give him food, starving themselves in the process. Even if it was a tiny bit, Hobie would find a way to share the scraps he got. Although none of it was ever enough, at least stomachs are not completely empty. Probably living in the slums and being quite poor with an unstable household would never leave Hobie's mind as fists slammed down on his battered and bruised body, blood seeping into the dirty pavement as rain plummeted down, carrying the mocking laughter of the other kids in his ears as they kicked and poked and cut him. He always tried so hard not to cry, not to give them what they wanted. At some points, Hobie tried to attack back, only to be pushed into the wall, or the trash, or the ground again. He was too weak to endure the physical abuse, and would be left gasping for air. Even if he came home beaten up, no doubt some of his siblings would try to help him the best they could. They'd dry the tears that fell as they cleaned up the blood, using some spare cloths to wrap up his severe injuries. No doubt he would have to steal to even try to take care of his family. Even at a young age, Hobie was on the streets begging and stealing just so that he could help his older siblings and mother. Although Hobie's life was rough from the start, he always loved his mother. She wasn't the best mother, often sometimes getting a little too drunk and taking it out on the older siblings, resulting in yelling matches that would go on for hours..but she was good enough. She still tried her best to provide for her many children, trying not to drink so much but sometimes the sorrow was too painful. She loved her children deeply, though. And she made sure they knew it, even if it didn't look like it. A year older, and Hobie's mother was gone, having passed away from alcoholism. And that was the first time Hobie's eyes remained tearless. He just looked solemn as his siblings broke the news, sorrow flooding his mind, yet his eyes were dull with no tears left to spare anymore. After his mother's death, everyone was all gone. Everyone for themselves, as they slowly disappeared out onto the streets one by one, until it was only Hobie returning back to the abandoned house in the slums. He felt numb. Not only did he lose the only thing keeping the family together, but he lost everyone he had to lean on. His sisters and brothers had all left him on his own, out to survive in the harsh, polluted world. Hobie lived out on the streets for a long time, sleeping in alleyways, hidden away from everyone else. He dug around, fought, stole, did anything to even get his hands on a bit of food..if he was lucky that day. And when a spider, crawling out of toxic dump, bites him? Hobie's thoughts reel. He kills the spider immediately, trying to possibly slice away the venom before it got too deep with a shard of glass he found. He feels his chest tighten, as if someone was sandwiching him in between two brick walls. Hobie clawed at his clothes, trying to breath, but nothing seemed to enter his lungs.

And even as SpiderMan, he never caught a break. His life still weighing upon him. He flinches away whenever someone raises their hand too fast around him. Yelling causes him to shut down completely. It's been years since tears flowed down his face, disguising his pain with defiance. Hobie once had even reunited with his sister, second youngest apart from him. Only to see her killed in a protest against Osborne. And then..his canon event. Osbornes death. Or rather, his murder. Ever since that day, Hobie avoids to ever slam his guitar that hard ever again, the imagery of brain and blood spluttering everywhere forever burned into his memory. His sleep is often plagued by nightmares, his own mind tormenting him. Osbornes death, his sister's, his mother's. His own siblings leaving him to die, echoing after their father. Hobie's life was never fucking easy, and what was the point anymore? He's lost everyone he was ever close with. He doesn't even feel real, like he's supposed to be here. Was he really chosen to walk the earth, or was he just an accident? Scars burned into his skin remind him of the life that will be in his tainted, continuously spilled blood. Bullies, glass bottles being smashed, the smell of alcohol, loud sounds, bruises, the spider, his self-inflicted injuries. He has no regret of Osbornes death, but sometimes some things are as to remain unseen. He's not just a knife, since they have a blunt side. He's a broken piece of glass, sharp on every edge, the cause of something being shattered. Was he the reason his dad left? That his siblings left? If he wasn't born..would they still have been happy? Hobie's thoughts ran wild as he stood on the edge of a building, watching the sky darken through the thick smog of pollution as the sun disappeared. A semi-colon, hidden within a lotus flower. A tattoo which meant more than he'd like to admit. -🐦‍⬛

Noooo my otp :(

Oh i get what you mean! Like how dare u not like me lol but dw that feeling will go away bc they're still your friend through and through

Daily Hobie HC ‼️‼️

Oh 🥲😭 this is fine, I'm great whew that's 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Someone help me I've been murdered in broad daylight and the murderer is 🐦‍⬛ anon 😭

I need to hug him and no one can stop me (he needs a vacation asap)

#ask answered #chatting with lovelies #hobie thoughts #hobie headcanons #daily hobie hc!!#🫶🫶🫶#🐦‍⬛ anon

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moved-to-the-hype-on-tv · 4 months

Text

vignette and addiction: my takes

(cw & tw: substance addiction, general addiction, mention of sexual themes and pornography, self destructive behavior, anxiety and depression)

vignette is one of my favorite songs on clancy (all of them are, but that's not the point), and as i was watching the livestream i heard tyler mention explicitly that the song was about addiction. and that's a theme i think it's important, and it's good that he brought it to light

while you'd read the lyrics and think the song is clearly about substance abuse, I don't think this is what tyler meant it to be about. not entirely.

the thing about addiction, is that everyone can have it, be in larger or smaller scale. it's like a tick that latches onto your skin but you can't see it or feel it because it numbs your senses.

I've dealt with addiction before (not substance, but adult entertainment on the internet, and then in real life) and i think this to be true: anything can be an addiction. be it a mania like biting your nails or maybe an eating disorder, to spending too much time on certain apps; everything that keeps us enslaved can be hurtful for our health.

we become mindless zombies, we can't see what's around us, we can't think unless it's related to that thing in specific that will bring back the feeling, the comfort. it's desperation for relief, for numbness, for a familiar pain. i see "the vignette" as a metaphor for something you can't always see, but it's there, until it swallows you completely

when i was deep in my addiction, one of the things i couldn't stop thinking about was: "can people see that I'm an addict? am i hiding it well?" the anxiety of wanting to appear normal, like I want struggling, like i wasn't under the control of something so simple and mundane, it consumed me to the point of wanting to isolate myself.

you're always clinging to the promise you won't do it again, you won't let it win, but sometimes you can't. and that's okay. it's a constant fight, a process, and it might never truly go away, but you'll get stronger each time.

the second verse messes with me the most. when you see someone who has openly struggled with addiction, the before and after may surprise you. people who were once so full of good values and confident in themselves "suddenly" let themselves rot away without realizing, or without caring.

i think "where do i go from here" represents the emptiness you feel once you're sober. you feel lost, like you're in the dark and you can't find footing. you want to feel comfortable again, but it never lasts long enough.

and of course "no not me it's for a friend" would be a controversial one. you could say that the hurtful thing you're consuming isn't for you, it's for a friend, but you could also say that about help. i personally like the help one, but i think both can be right. admitting to having a problem is the first and most difficult step in all of the process, you're always so scared of feeling judged that you'd rather pretend it's someone else who has to deal with it. heck, I'm feeling that right now as i write this! sometimes I can't use the right words at all without feeling a chill down my spine, but i believe that it's just like exposure therapy, and I'm sure it will be less and less scary to talk about it as i grow, just like tyler is talking about it now

vignette is a masterpiece, and although I don't and probably won't know for sure whether tyler has dealt with a different kind of addiction like i have, or if he actually is just referring to substance ones and I'm putting my bias into it, I don't care. this song will always have a special meaning to me and i hope it does to everyone else as well:

everyone struggles. we might be ashamed of it sometimes, but we should take pride in our recovery instead. it'll be hard to seek help, but the search party will come.

#twenty one pilots #tøp #twenty øne piløts #skeleton clique #twentyonepilots #tyler joseph #the clique #clancy #vignette #cw addiction #tw addiction #cw substance use #tw substance abuse #cw hypersexuality #tw pornography mention #song analysis

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yanderecandystore · 1 year

Note

Hi I'm brazilian, sorry if my english is wrong. But I can order a yan with a sweet wizard boy where he lives in a house made of candy and attracts people for him to devour, I don't know if you've read the story of the brother grimms, of Hansel and Gretel (or Br: João e Maria). How about this concept?

I'm so sorry but I struggled with this one so bad, I made so many versions of this but always fucked up at the candy house part 💀 (I couldn't imagine how to write the reader getting inside, or even finding it even though it was supposed to be the most obvious part lmao) It's very short 👉👈

Also lmao your English is great boo, welcome to the candy store, thank you for sharing with me this idea! It was actually pretty funny how challenging I thought it was X'D

TW/Tags: a little sadistic/more dehumanizing yandere // mentions of: weird/abusive family dynamics; cannibalism; drugging; kidnapping; gore; severed body parts; the usual yandereness although without the soft/lovey fluff I usually write // delusional (he is as sweet as someone who who eats humans could be- I want to write more but I kept messing up so much I died ⚰️)

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Pumpkin Pie [Yandere!M!Cannibal!Wizard/Witch x GN!Reader - Scenario (?)]:

You were having tea inside a colorful house, your vision was very blurry and your ears felt clogged, and to make things harder to understand there was a heavy and pretty mixed up smell of sweets and candies, overwhelming your nostrils… You don't remember when or how you got in, or why, but the tea was nice so you kept drinking.

You were having a nice time with a stranger who you don't really remember the name of… He wore a weird suit for your town's weather, actually it was just off in general… But you thought it looked nice…

He smiled at you blissfully, clearly having a good time… You felt like you were having a good time as well… You like to think so.

Okay, to be honest you couldn't feel a single thing, your legs were numb and you felt like your head was way too heavy to move it around. You barely felt awake at all. So you just assumed it was probably a strange dream, after all you didn't know this man, right?!

He was talking to you… You didn't understand what he was saying, the smell of something tasty was being baked… Pumpkin pie maybe…? How long have you gone without one of those? Your father didn't like how much sugar you ate, so you were restricted to only a few sweets… But he probably wouldn't be mad about one slice of pumpkin pie, right?

The man patted your head endearingly as he smiled at you, he seemed to not care much about how you weren't paying attention at all… You thought that was sweet of him considering you were always considered an airhead by your family.

… Speaking of them- Shouldn't you go home soon? I mean, this is very pleasant and all but you don't remember how long you've been here and the things that happened beforehand feel like a blur… Your family had a curfew and you didn't want to get in trouble again for breaking it.

Ah, but what could you do? You were just so curious about the forest beside the mansion. You secretly hoped to see fairies or anything magical whenever you went there, ah, how wonderful it was to escape your responsibilities as middle child for at least a few moments.

Sure, your family was wealthy, a lot better than most people in town, but you wished you didn't have to stay inside all day… Your older siblings would get to work with the family mine business while your younger siblings got to play and study all day long, and you? You were sort of the second servant of the house, there were many expectations placed on you and not enough attention to your interests and dreams…

You already miss Ms. Bell, she is such a nice lady and sadly your only friend in a big almost always empty mansion. Actually, you're not even all that bothered about being a "second servant" because you actually like helping her out.

Ah, sweet Bell… She always told you to be careful out in the woods, people would often go missing, especially people who have zero expertise about finding their way in and out… Ms. Bell, always so caring and wise… If only your family listened to you more like she does…!

While you kept drifting into different topics inside your own head, your vision was starting to come back to you and your ears seemed to get better after a while… Your head was still very heavy and it aches as you look around and notice- This guy has a weird taste for decor! Seriously, there's candy everywhere!! Actually… Was everything MADE out of candy?! What the hell?

Wait, you can hear humming, you can hear him better now, he is singing a nice tune as he gets up and takes care of the pie in his oven.

"You're finally awake, or at least more awake now! I'm sorry for what happened before, the dose I gave you was probably too strong, I guess it is just a habit of mine. Please forgive me." The man said in a joyful way, smiling at you like he did before… His voice was familiar but nothing to really help you remember.

"I guess I haven't introduced myself properly, then again I didn't think you would make it this far- I don't know why but I couldn't bring myself to let you go to waste. You have a very sweet smell and I couldn't help but wonder what it would taste like." He acts as if what he said was a compliment, and you strangely enough nod your head, feeling a little dazed still.

Yeah… but, what was he talking about? This conversation was weird and it was starting to worry you a little bit.

He brought to the table you were sitting on his pie so it could cool down while you two chatted, and filled the table with a plate of muffins and another of small bread. They looked incredible!

"You can eat how many you like! Consider yourself my guest, it's actually very nice to have someone over after such a long time…" He sat down in front of you and started to pour you more tea.

"I think it's clear to see I don't really do this, well, my name is Zirick, and this is my house! Don't worry, I'm not mad about what you did earlier, it happens all the time! And of course, my house was pretty much made for it, ya know?"

You didn't understand what he meant, so you told him your name and apologized for not only not remembering what you did but also for doing something that would offend him.

"Oh Pumpkin, it's okay! It's my fault your head is as empty as my cup of tea- My spell was supposed to just knock you out but I guess it was a little too strong and in return made you lose a few memories! But don't worry it'll come back eventually…"

"What I'm talking about is that you stumbled around my land and… Well, after seeing my house you couldn't help but want to take a bite off my walls! But I fixed them already so that's fine."

What? He knocked you out with a spell?? For eating his walls?! That entire sentence didn't make sense to you, you would never randomly eat someone's walls!! Even if they were delicious and even if you… do remember snacking on them… a little bit…

Ugh your mind was a flurry of thoughts, it was like different ingredients being violently mixed together and not mixing well! (Heh, cake comparison! You sure he would have loved to hear that one).

Well, invading someone's property like that was not a good thing but you weren't sure if knocking them with a spell or two was a good way to deal with an intruder… Still, you apologized and said you were going to find a way to pay him for his sweet wall. He waved you off laughing to himself.

"Oh but human money is worthless to me, and besides you have already paid me- Oh! Speaking of which, I just have to make sure this pie tastes good- I would offer you but I don't think it would taste, little Pumpkin."

He started to cut himself a slice… It was very red and meaty for a "pumpkin" pie, yet it smelled like one to you… And to him too.

Your senses were starting to get to you, you started to feel worried as the man was staring at you expectantly, you looked around and saw a peppermint clock on the wall, it marked 10 and you were sure by the darkness outside the window it meant 10p.m. You tried to get up and excuse yourself, after all you needed to get home soon or your family would end up getting mad at you.

But before you could actually walk away, you fell hard into the ground. You noticed you weren't feeling your legs properly, that's because one of them was missing.

"Don't roll away now, you're my guest today, remember? And besides, how far can you go without help, silly?" Zirick came to your aid very quickly and helped you get back to the chair immediately.

You tried to push him away, you bit him, you slapped him and even tried to kick him with one leg- It didn't work, he still knew how to tranquilize you into going back to your dreamland…

"Shh… Ah, how sad. All my guests get like this… You're a little fiesty for such a sweet Pumpkin, but I somehow can't get enough of your company, perhaps when you wake we can start again…"

He licked his dirty, bloodied fork eagerly. Normally he would have turned you into a massive pie but he wasn't THAT hungry and surely just a leg would be enough, and you were adorable walking around in the woods like a little adventure! He couldn't help but trick you into coming closer and eating a piece of his house- He needed a reason to get you inside of course, an eye for an eye, as they would say.

He isn't sure how he'll go about this but he likes your company, especially when you're too dazed to have any inhibitions or sense of privacy when talking to him! He could hear you sleepily mumble for hours, you were just so sweet to talk to, and to taste!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #yandere oc #choco stuff #a sweetheart asked:#yandere x reader #yandere cannibal #yandere wizard #yandere witch #yandere male #yandere male x reader #gn!reader #yandere!cannibal x reader #yandere!wizard x reader #special delivery request #special delivery scenarios #special delivery headcanons

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matthewloverr · 6 months

Text

The Book P4

matt x masyen drew (femreader)

summary: when watching the people you love destroy themselves and choose money and fame over you, you found someone else to love.

warnings: swearing, smoking (weed, cigarettes) angst, mention of substance abuse/ addiction, mentions of abuse, angst, some mentions of starving, fluffy, kissing

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

maysens pov:

matt came to get me and although it took him five minutes to get here it felt like five hours. a weight lifted off my chest when i saw his face, a face that i had missed.

i walked down my driveway to get into the car but he didn’t even give me a chance before he jumped out of his side and pulled me into a hug, his smell, his voice, the way he towered over me was something i was longing for these past days.

i just pulled him in and held him as tight as i could afraid to let go, he pulled away and just stared at me, i wanted to shy away knowing i looked like completely garbage considering i haven’t slept in two days or eaten.

but he didn’t let me, he just held my face and he looked at me full of love. that was the first time i had breathed in the last 48 hours, under his touch.

matts pov:

i couldn’t wait to just hold her, i ran through two stop signs and i don’t know how many stop lights but there was nothing stopping me. from the second i got her text i needed to see her, i wanted to give her space but i felt selfish i just wanted her to be with me.

i immediately jumped out the car not wasting anytime and wrapping my arms around her, her hair, her smell, her touch i missed it all.

one thing i noticed was her appearance, there wasn’t that light in her eyes like i knew and that big warm smile that she usually wore around me wasn’t there. i could feel my heart shattering at the sight.

we got in the car and i already knew what i needed to do, i drove to mcdonalds and got a shit ton of food for me and her. knowing her she was willing to do anything to avoid her dad which probably meant not eating.

masyns pov:

we sat and ate the mcdonalds he bought me and i absolutely devoured it, i would feel embarrassed to eat like this infront of anyone else but i was with matt.

i just sat and admired him and he ate his fries and scrolled on his phone, he looked so perfect. the way his grey muscle tank hugged him, and his black sweats that hung low, even the way his chain hung from his neck. i imagined it dangling from above me while he was on top of me.

he must’ve felt me staring because he looked over at me, his blue eyes looked so beautiful.

“what are you thinking?” he questioned me with a small smile on his face.

“nothin” i replied pursing my lips to hide my smile.

there was a brief moment of silence.

“i worried about you, a lot” he spoke, i knew deep down he did and that was the last thing i wanted.

“i know” i replied in a slight whisper.

“i love you with everything in me masyn, i need you to know that” he said, the words ran down my spine. but i snapped back to reality knowing he meant it in a friendly way.

“i love you too” i said finally looking up at him.

“no masyn i love you” he stated

i just stared at him, was he confessing to me right now? have i missed it all this time. i just kept staring at him trying to read his expression. he just looked back at me with this look pleading with me to say it back.

“yeah, i love you too” i replied, there was that familiar feeling i got when i was with him. like those butterflies in your stomach but this was 10x what it usually was.

he just pulled a smile onto his face and i reciprocated it, he glanced at my lips before we both met eachother in the middle connecting our lips.

it felt like time had stopped, like everything in my life was at peace. matt was gentle but still enough pressure for me to know he’s been wanting to do this and he knew i wanted it too.

he pulled away and i sighed at the loss of contact, he still had a small smile on his face like you couldn’t wipe it off if you tried. i couldn’t contain myself either this was something on my mind since the first time i saw him. now it’s out.

“please come stay with me until everything is sorted out mays” he spoke.

“ok”

a/n: huzzah she finally kissed him like damn anyways hope you guys liked this part love yaz

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 5 months

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tig characters/couples as ts songs - rebecca and tolerate it

not only is this my favorite taylor song ever, but it's also a song rebecca would relate to. i've been wanting to make this post ever since i first read this series because i immediately thought of this song when i first met rebecca in the books. its been a while since i first read the books, but i'm currently rereading them so...

too lazy to proof read (as always)

"i notice everything you do or don't do you"

rebecca spent her entire life looking after emily from the sidelines, watching her, trying to be like her etc. she knows everything there is to know about emily, but emily doesn't know her the way she does her. not only did she never even make an effort to, but she also convinced her that, out of the two of them, she was more worth knowing. rebecca's parents grew up dotting on emily while rebecca was forced to watch them pretend her away. emily is who rebecca wishes she was.

"you're so much older and wiser and i use my best colors for your potraits... and watch you tolerate it"

emily tended to convince rebecca that she knew best, and that her needs were more important that hers. rebecca couldn't date thea because she wanted to please her sister, but what about her? although the older part doesn't apply, the way emily acted around rebecca (based on the interactions rebecca told avery about and stuff) makes me think of the way an older sister/brother might make their younger siblings feel lesser than or like their opinions don't matter. emily wasn't older, but she acted like she was, and made rebecca seem childlike (at least to me) (i can imagine her telling rebecca things like 'are you stupid, listen to me, i know what's best for you, people won't like you if you do this). emily's a master manipulator and it honestly wouldn't surprise me. rebecca clearly felt the need to prove herself to her sister. she made rebecca feel so insignificant and unworthy that not even her hair was hers. rebecca referred to it as 'out hair' when talking to avery because she can't ever have something for herself.

rebecca tended to ignore all the red flags because emily is her sister. thus, using her best colors for her portrait. emily would give her all of this advice and tell her she knew best, making rebecca sort of look up to her in a twisted, sick way. emily was so above rebecca in bec's head. not even emily's manipulations and hurtful comments and actions could change that.

rebecca felt the need to impress emily because of all of this, but emily didn't care. she was number 1, and rebecca always came second to her, no matter what. nothing rebecca did or said ever impressed her.

"i take your indiscretions all in good fun"

like i said, rebecca would ignore all of her bullshit and wrong doings because emily convinced her she was lesser than her. when you love someone so much, you tend to ignore the red flags because you don't want to admit to yourself that this person is actually no good, and you should leave them behind (like how people in abusive relationships sometimes have a hard time leaving their partner). rebecca couldn't imagine a life without emily in it.

everyone around her thought so highly of her, so why shouldn't she? if everyone else could forgive her so easily, why shouldn't she? emily's her sister, and admitting that she doesn't really see you as one and just sees you as an extension of herself is hard to admit to yourself. admitting that means accepting that you never meant anything to your own sister.

"while you were out there building other worlds where was i"

this is sort of the turning point for her. after emily's death, it became easier for her to accept that emily was a horrible person and hurt everyone around her (this is due to her seeing the destruction she caused in gray and jamie). emily got to live whilst she had to stand on the sidelines watching because "emily has a heart disease, she deserves it" or because "emily probably doesn't have long to live, but you do, so this is her time to shine". emily's death and her parents' reaction to it was sort of like a catalyst. her love for emily sort of turned into hatred, making her feel guilty because no one should hate their sister. she realized that she also deserved to live and that not everything emily says, goes. emily ruined her childhood, and her death is what made her realize this.

"i made you my temple, my mural, my sky, now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life"

i mentioned this before but rebecca grew up looking up to emily. she thought she was amazing and accomplished and everything someone should thrive to be. emily didn't think of rebecca the same way. she was conceited, stuck up and had this superiority complex. whilst emily meant everything to rebecca, rebecca meant next to nothing to emily.

"always taking up too much space or time"

this could be seen two ways. taking up too much space in her parents' lives or emily's. her parents were always dotting on emily, and completely ignored rebecca. she couldn't ask for anything without feeling like she didn't deserve the attention. this also applies to emily in the sense that emily had all of these things going on in her life, and she didn't really want to spend time with rebecca. she just liked to get her to do everything she wanted her to (she liked knowing she could manipulate the people around her to do what she wanted them to) rebecca needed her sister in her life, but emily didn't need hers.

"what would you do if i.... took this dagger in me and removed it"

rebecca finally starts to realize that emily is just a sick manipulator who doesn't deserve a second thought. she wants to get her out of her thoughts. she wants to forget about her and rip the dagger (that is emily) out of her mind. even now, after her death, emily is still managing to control her. the thing about being stabbed is that, by removing that dagger, you are basically harming yourself by letting yourself bleed out. that is why doctors recommend you to not remove the dagger when you get stabbed in order for you to not die of blood loss. the same applies to emily. by removing emily from her thoughts, she's removing her from her life. that isn't something you'd want to do to your sister even after her death and destruction. by forcing herself to let go of her sister, she's causing herself more pain because letting her go, even after all of the pain she caused her, is unfathomable to her. she can't live without her no matter how sick that is. rebecca has never really been her own person (she's always been an extension of emily), so, without emily, who is she? removing the dagger (emily) is removing a crucial part of herself. rebecca has always been emily 2.0 and not rebecca. the current rebecca is a creation of emily's.

this one was honestly super fun to make. i loved putting myself in her shoes and writing this. it's also made me hate emily even more.. hope you guys liked this (i'm really proud of this one).

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #rebecca laughlin #emily laughlin

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jimxnslight · 1 year

Text

Chapter 1: So High [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: I swear I spent like a month researching to make sure everything is as accurate as possible, but if you’re more experienced in this topic and see some inaccuracies don’t hesitate to let me know. Also, if you are under 18: do. not. read. I am watching you younglings.

<< masterlist || next chapter >>

Just one step at a time Y/N, you're almost there.

You groaned inwardly as you continued to drag your feet along the concrete sidewalk, every bone in your body weighing you down like a heavy truck. Your muscles screamed at you to turn around and burrow back into your bed and even your mind was having trouble focusing. Overall, nothing but pure willpower was pushing you through the empty park, but you had to keep moving if you wanted these feelings to stop.

So you pushed on.

Ironically, the atmosphere was a perfect reflection of your mood. Despite how early it was in the morning, there was no prospect of the usual sunlight. Instead, grey clouds and an oddly comfortable hum caused by rainy drizzle surrounded you as you continued. It only made your muscles more languid and you almost caught yourself falling asleep mid-step several times.

Thankfully, after what felt like hours, your gaze caught onto a lone figure on the other side of the park, rocking against one of the swings quietly. Besides him, the area was largely deserted, probably because of how early it was in the morning. Soon it would be filled with students and parents rushing to their schools and jobs.

You'd be one of them, but for now, you had more pressing matters to attend to.

"Yoongi," you greeted idly once you walked up to him.

Yoongi, who had been staring at the sand below him, looked up at you with a scowl. His black hair was pulled into a half bun while it looked like he had gotten his hair trimmed. Today, he was dressed in an expensive looking black rain jacket that stopped at his knees paired with black combat boots. His silver cross earring seemed unusually dull in the rainy weather.

"It's Suga when we're doing business," he corrected, pushing himself off the swing while eyeing the security cameras wearily. They weren't working at the moment, due to some renovations or something like that, so you didn't really understand the paranoia.

You tilted your head lazily at his statement, "it's always business with us."

"Exactly," he frowned, shaking his head in regret, "if it wasn't for- well, you know- you wouldn't have even figured out my actual name, which is already annoying. So no need to rub it in."

"Nope, I worked too hard to get that name just to never use it," you smirked, trying to keep your voice light, but on the inside you were itching to grab what you came for, "so... do you have it?"

Yoongi's hand disappeared into his jacket's pocket and returned with a small white bottle just barely the size of your thumb. Why was it so small?

"What the hell is that?"

Despite your words, it took everything in you not to snatch up the bottle like some savage, but your pleasantries only went so far. The second the bottle was in your hand you didn't bother waiting for him to leave before you opened it and downed three pills on the spot.

He frowned in response, "I'm low on stock right now."

It was always so typical of him to have such short and concise responses, and although you hated it, it was pretty helpful for when you were going through withdrawals. It was easier for your foggy mind to understand short sentences rather than a bunch of details. But you were going to need the details in this case. Yoongi hadn't been low on stock in a long time, which means something must have happened.

At your expression Yoongi sighed.

"Look, I think someone tipped the police off about me so I'm laying low for a while. In fact, the only reason I'm even doing business with you right now is because you're my least problematic client, which I appreciate... and also because I know withdrawal can be a real pain."

You hummed in response, barely paying attention. The pills you just took weren't going to kick in for another 10-20 minutes, so most of what Yoongi was saying was flying through one ear and out the other.

"Anyways," he sighed, likely noticing your current state, "I'll get the payment after I get the cops off my back."

He hesitated before his next words but ultimately mumbled, "take care of yourself."

You lazily watched as he made his way into a flashy red car and drove off before you realised you should probably get going as well.

By the time you reached your school, you felt your focus sharpen as the Adderall you had taken earlier finally started kicking in. The black jacket you had been wearing, to hide your uniform from Yoongi of course, was hanging against your arm as you made your way into the school towards your classroom.

Since you were a little early, the class wasn't entirely full just yet. Students were still milling around, laughing and chatting about things you couldn't care less about. It wasn't until you sat down in your seat when you noticed that your best, and only, friend was already in the classroom.

Kim Namjoon, with his dark brown hair and dimpled cheeks, gave you a stern look as he noticed your presence.

"You didn't answer my call yesterday," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

That made you snort, "when do I ever answer your calls for school related stuff?"

"Because you're too busy crashing from all the drugs you take throughout the day?"

It was his tone more than his words that made you turn towards him with a frown. Namjoon has always bothered you about your... recreational activities, that's no surprise. But there was something about the rare harshness in his voice this time that had you taken aback.

"I'm fine Namjoon, chill out."

But Namjoon seemed unusually persistent today and only his next words gave some insight as to why, "you know there was a death in my apartment yesterday? A guy overdosed on a ton of cocaine and died, Y/N, because he was doing the exact same thing you do."

You shifted uncomfortably to mask your uneasiness.

"I don't do coke," you joked, but Namjoon's face didn't waver.

"So? Whether it’s Adderall or meth, the result is still the same,” he pressed further, "you know he was completely alone when it happened? And when his family came to the funeral, they barely even cared. Most of them said they hadn't seen him in years."

You scoffed, "Well, I definitely won't have that problem."

His expression softened, "there are people that still care about you, Y/N, but if you continue on the path you're on right now, I can't guarantee that. I don't want you to be like him. I don't want you to end up alone with nothing but a drug addiction."

You could hear the fear in his voice at that last sentence.

"I don't have an addiction, Namjoon, relax," you said as you heard the bell ring. All around you, students rushed to their seats in preparation for the class, "I could stop if I wanted to, you're just being paranoid."

He seemed disappointed at your response, even a little angry.

"You're high right now aren't you?" He whispered.

“When am I not?"

"That's not funny, Y/N."

"It's a little funny."

Namjoon's hand grabbed your arm in frustration as his voice lowered, "this isn't a joke, Y/N. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll have to do things you're not going to like."

You scoffed at the threat, "like what? Tell everyone about it? How would you even convince them? I'm a straight A student that's respectful to all the teachers. Who would even believe you?"

"A simple drug test can change all that," he snapped back.

Your eyebrow raised, "so you'd report me to the police?"

Namjoon's frustrated face morphed into shame as he looked away quickly. The two of you had been friends ever since you and your father moved here when you were 7 years old. He was practically your brother at this point. When he found out about your using around a year ago, he had been furious, but every time he tried, he just couldn't report you. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to have a criminal record, or maybe it was because he didn't want to hurt you, either way he's been ashamed about the lack of action ever since.

Namjoon watched the teacher walk into the class with a mixture of guilt and anguish.

"I should... If I really cared about you I would've reported you the first time I found out. Maybe it wouldn't have become so bad if I did..."

You quietly watched as the students started getting out their textbooks and homework. Namjoon's words, despite not being anything new, should've moved you. You should've felt a need to change, or to do better.

But you didn't feel any of that. Even hearing about that man, that might even be foreshadowing to your future, didn't instill any fear into your heart. In fact, the prospect of that being your future didn't shake you.

Honestly, you felt nothing at all.

The sound of the bell ending first period had never felt more relieving as you finally felt Namjoon’s gaze, which had been drilling into the side of your head the entire time, shift. Thankfully, he wasn’t in your second period class so you’d finally get a break from his constant worry.

That allowed you to make your way to your second classroom quietly before settling down in your usual seat that was near the back of the class. You were even going to quietly rest your head on your desk for a moment, but the sound of three girls shuffling towards you made you realise that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

It was always comical how fast she approached you the second Namjoon was out of the picture.

"Y/N!"

You groaned, preparing yourself for what you knew was going to be one of the worst five minutes of your life.

Kim Jiwoo smirked as she peered down at you, two girls, whose names you didn't even know, at her side. Today she had tied her long brown hair into a half ponytail, letting her side bangs frame her face. Most would call her pretty, but you knew better than to flatter a snake.

"Did you sleep in a barn last night?" She laughed, tugging at a strand of your hair, "it looks like a rat’s nest."

The two at her side laughed as she gasped.

"Wait, who am I kidding," she continued, " your father couldn't afford a barn. Where then? The side of a highway?"

Another round of her friends' laughs filled the room annoyingly.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be insecure, Jiwoo?" You grumbled tiredly.

She simply scoffed, "what do I have to be insecure about? Your face is all the self-love I need. Everyday I wake up and am thankful my parents didn't give birth to one like yours."

That made you smile, "speaking of parents, how is your parents' divorce going? I heard your dad was found sleeping with the maid after church, again. Personally I think you take after him the most."

The two girls' eyes widened in surprise as they side-eyed a seething Jiwoo. At this point, the whole class had gone quiet, listening intently to the two of you.

For a moment, a very dumb moment, you thought she'd leave it at that and make an embarrassing exit.

But you were never a very lucky one, were you?

"My parents' divorce is going great, thanks for asking," she said suddenly, a snake-like grin on her face, "I'm just glad both of them are still alive."

You tensed as you felt her close the space between the two of you, "how are your parents, Y/N?"

As unaffected as you were trying to appear, it took a lot of self-control not to throw a chair at her face.

But Jiwoo wasn't done just yet.

"Oh my!" She gasped, hands flying to her lips, "I completely forgot! You don't have both of your parents, do you?"

You could feel her breath as she chuckled, but the smile dropped from her face as she came closer, "What's wrong, Y/N? Mother couldn't survive a little chemo?"

Distantly you heard some students gasp, while others laughed. It didn't matter, because none of them could stop you when you brought up your fist and slammed it into her face.

Anyone that says violence will never be fulfilling is a liar. Watching Jiwoo crumple to the ground was all the therapy you needed.

Unfortunately, that only made her laugh more.

"You know, if you kill yourself, maybe you can meet mommy in hell," she laughed, wiping the small trickle of blood from her mouth.

You just scoffed, hiding the second wave of anger by sitting back in your seat, "and see you there too? No thanks."

As Jiwoo stood, the door of the classroom opened, causing everyone's head to snap towards it. The girls swooned as Mr. Kim walked in with light steps. His gaze first fell on Jiwoo, who was standing over you, and then your seated form.

"Is there a problem here?"

No one answered, either too afraid for reprimand or too immersed in checking him out. Mr. Kim Seokjin was the youngest teacher in the school, not to mention the most attractive according to the female students. Forget the girls, you were pretty sure you've even caught some of the guys talking about how hot he is.

When no one answered he raised an eyebrow. It was clear he knew something had happened here, something that shouldn't have happened. But after a moment, he must have decided to let it go because he turned around and started writing on the board.

"Please go back to your seats everyone and turn to page 237."

You watched as everyone scrambled to their desks, except for Jiwoo of course, who gave you a condescending smile first. That was the one thing you could respect about her, she knew how to take a punch without being a whiny baby about it. The two of you had been at each other's throats for as long as you could remember. The rivalry between you was always so excessively vicious because you were cousins, meaning you knew a lot more about each other's familial secrets compared to the other students. In fact, now that you think about it, you probably exposed her parents' divorce to the class. But you'll take it as payback for yesterday, when she tripped you in the hallways and almost broke your head against one of the lockers.

Mr. Kim continued to speak about the lesson, which you were completely focused on thanks to the pills you had taken this morning.

Well, that was until you heard distracting whispers behind you.

"Who's that?" A male voice whispered, seemingly to someone beside him.

Another voice answered in the same manner, "oh yeah, you just transferred from class A, right? You don't know about the drama here. Those two have been at each other's throats since forever."

The first voice chuckled, "I don't care about that. Who is she?"

"Um," the second voice paused, as if confused, "you mean her? That's Kim Y/N... why? What's up?"

"She's got a hot back," the first voice said.

You scowled as you turned around to face the voices, "this 'hot back' can hear you, you know."

You were met with two guys sitting next to each other. The first had permed dirty blonde hair, a boxy grin and intimidating eyes. You already knew him to be Taehyung. Although you'd never really held a full conversation with him, you knew he'd been in your class for a while.

But the one sitting next to him wasn't as familiar, though you knew you've seen him in the halls before. His hair was a bright orange that oddly suited him, while his cheeks were soft yet structured.

He was attractive, there was no denying it. But there was also no denying that he was the one commenting on your 'hot back' too, which you did not appreciate.

"Oh I know," he replied coolly, "is admiration suddenly a crime?"

"Go admire someone else's back, thanks," you said, turning back to the lesson being taught.

But the whispers only continued.

"Such a pretty face too," the orange haired guy said, and you could almost see him smirking.

You saw exactly that when you turned around once again, but this time towards Taehyung, "could you put your friend on a leash?"

Taehyung, who actually seemed confused, just shrugged.

"I'm Park Jimin," the orange haired guy announced, "what's your name, kitten?"

It took everything in you not to cringe at the nickname and instead turn back towards the front of the class, "not interested."

As you watched Mr. Kim turn towards the board to write something down, the sound of a pencil falling to the ground followed. You were sure Jimin threw one at you to get your attention, like some middle schooler might you add, but you were determined to ignore him, keeping your focus on the board. You could hear the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, a slight chuckle and even light footsteps.

But a moment later you felt your back start to warm up. At first you thought maybe the classroom's heating had turned up, but then you swivelled around to come face to face with Park Jimin. His chest was so close to your back, all he had to do was move just an inch forward and he'd be pressed against it.

With Mr. Kim still writing something on the board, Jimin went completely unnoticed aside from one or two curious students.

But that didn't deter him at all.

"There's going to be a party tonight at Taehyung's place," Jimin whispered, his lips close to your ear, "you should come. I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Just as his head lifted away from yours, Mr. Kim turned around.

"Jimin, what are you doing out of your seat?" He asked, crossing his arms.

Jimin raised a pencil in response, and with a start, you realised it was your pencil that had been sitting on your desk a few seconds earlier, "sorry, I just dropped my pencil."

Mr. Kim nodded and went back to teaching the lesson while you heard Jimin take his seat once again, still feeling the ghost of his lips near your ear.

For the record, it wasn't Park Jimin that had you driving to Taehyung's house at 10 PM on a Friday night. You had known about the party before he had 'invited' you and had already been planning to go. Of course, most students were attending for some partying.

And although partying sounded good, you had other intentions in mind.

Your car rolled to a stop a few blocks away from Taehyung's house before you got out and started walking along the dark sidewalk. You could already hear the music and sounds of chatter from your current position, but you doubt anyone in the neighbourhood would complain about it. Taehyung's parents were the definition of rich, and messing with people like that was never a very smart option. The best they could do was pop in some ear plugs and wait the party out.

"Y/N?!" A familiar voice behind you called out.

Speaking of ear plugs...

You tried to fasten your pace, but Jiwoo was already in step beside you. There seemed to be no sign of the girls from earlier this time.

"Where are your goons?"

Her reply was quick.

"Where's your sobriety?"

You rolled your eyes, continuing to walk in silence. To your distaste, she didn't leave after that.

"Thanks a lot for advertising the divorce. You know how hard it was to keep something like that on the down low?" She scoffed, actually looking quite annoyed.

You raised an eyebrow, "you're really going to act like that after the chemo comment?"

"You started it. Don't act like some victim now."

It was your turn to scoff now, "you started it like 5 years ago."

"It was 7 years actually."

"Aww, do you have a calendar you use to mark our fights too? I'm straight, before you get any ideas."

"Oh screw off, Y/N."

Thankfully, there was a beat of silence after that. You cursed yourself for parking so far away from the house, but it was usually useful for when the police were called and they started impounding cars. At this point, you'd rather take the police than Jiwoo's presence.

After a moment Jiwoo spoke up again, "I saw you with Jimin in second period."

She grinned.

"A manwhore and a junkie... it's a match made in heaven."

You almost celebrated when Taehyung's house finally came into view. Without even bothering to look in Jiwoo's direction, you scurried into the house, but not before hearing her cackle like some kind of witch.

You genuinely feel bad for whoever decides to curse their life by marrying her. Maybe she'll do everyone a favour and stay single forever, though you doubt she'd be that gracious.

Even though it was relatively early for the party, the living room was packed with people. Students you recognized from school were chatting and laughing together while others played games and took shots. You were pretty sure you even caught one or two college kids here and there too.

As you scanned the room, your eyes were naturally drawn to a head of bright orange hair sitting on one of the couches lazily as a girl sat on his lap with a smile. Jimin looked good, with a simple white t-shirt and ripped jeans. A silver earring, similar to Yoongi's, hung from one of his ears.

For a second, you thought his eyes caught yours, but you turned away and started walking towards the kitchen before you could confirm. It didn't matter anyway, you weren't here for him.

The sight of alcohol had you smiling.

You were here for this.

You grabbed a cup and filled it with beer from one of the tanks sitting on the counter. There were a few empty bottles of vodka and even wine sprawled around, implying that if you looked hard enough you might be able to snag a bottle. But you weren't very keen on getting too hammered tonight.

While deep in thought, you didn't notice Jimin slip in front of you until he started talking.

"Having fun?" He asked, a red plastic cup filled with a clear substance already in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and messy, like someone had run their hands through it many times, and a silver necklace shaped like an upside down spade hung from his neck.

The necklace forced you to look down at his loose sleeveless white shirt, which did a poor job at hiding his toned figure. The muscles in his arm were flexed as they held the cup, making it hard to focus on the one in your own hand. You turned towards the kitchen's counter, trying to shift your mind to something else.

But Jimin seemed to notice that, making him smirk.

"Like what you see?" He asked innocently as he slowly made his way towards you. When he finally came to a stop, he was so close you could feel the heat of his chest on your arm while his hand rested on the countertop right in front of you, "you don't have to look away, kitten. I don't mind giving it to you if you want it."

Your sharp gaze met his eyes once again, which were also a lot closer than you had initially thought. With his chest near your arm, his hot breath against your ear and his ruffled hair, you didn't blame yourself when you felt a hesitant shiver run down your spine.

Park Jimin was a jerk, but god was he a hot jerk.

But was this something you wanted? Although you weren't exactly opposed to the idea, you didn't exactly want it either. It had been a long time since you last had sex, and the thought of doing it again with someone like Jimin, aka someone with a lot of recent experience, was kind of nerve wracking. You'd rather just get high.

"Believe it or not, I didn't come to this party because of you," you said finally.

"Oh?" His gaze lingered on your lips before raising back to your eyes, "then why are you here?"

For the free alcohol, and hopefully free drugs, would've been your honest answer.

"Why does anyone attend parties? To have some fun of course."

Jimin regarded you for a moment before replying, "there are different types of fun at parties. Which one are you here for?"

You shrugged, "not the type you're interested in."

With that, you filled your cup to the top before walking out of the room, eyes peeled for a dealer. Your talk with Jimin had heightened your desire for some fun, which for you was to feel nothing at all. All you had to do was find a dealer that would be willing to give you a sample.

Thankfully, with your experience, finding someone was no problem. In less than 10 minutes you had found and flagged down a man that seemed much too old to be at a high school party. You chuckled inwardly at the sudden thought of 'cheating' on Yoongi with another dealer, but Yoongi wasn't always available, especially now that the police were on his back.

After getting the dealer to trust that you weren't a cop, which was stupid considering your age, he eyed you with a more comfortable stare.

"Okay, what do you need?" He asked patiently.

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. You already had gotten some Adderall from Yoongi earlier today, and you were craving something a little stronger. But you were in the mood of something relaxing, not stimulating.

Then the thought of heroin popped into your mind. You were always careful when it came to opioids since they're insanely addictive, but the last time you had some was a pretty long time ago. You were sure the gap was long enough for it to be safe to take it again. Besides, the feeling it gave was always amazing, like every cell in your body was relaxed and calm.

You'd like that at the moment, and you told him just that.

He excused himself for a second, rushing into a room before returning again with a bag of fine white powder. He held it out to you discretely, but not before announcing the price.

"I want a sample first," you said, but the man shook his head.

"Sorry, no samples."

That made you scoff, "What? How am I supposed to know if it's good or not? Besides this is heroin I'm talking about, not weed."

"Either give me the money and take it or don't. I don't do samples."

"No thanks, I'll look somewhere else."

You turned and started making your way away from him, feeling a bit irritated, but not very angry. You've never had an issue with finding samples at a party. You just seemed to have picked the wrong guy.

But soon enough, after dealing with multiple dealers that refused, you huffed in frustration.

"What is up today with you guys? Why is everyone suddenly so against samples?" You rambled to one of them. He just gave you a tired look.

"Supply has been low lately. I've heard that the police are closing in on some of our harbour guys- uh, major suppliers, if you don't understand. A lot of them have had to lay low because of it, meaning guys like us aren't getting a lot of supply lately. We can't afford to give out samples right now."

So Yoongi wasn't the only one in a tight spot at the moment. Turns out a lot of dealers are suffering right now. That almost made you groan out loud.

"So that's a hard no to the sample?" You said, causing the guy to raise an eyebrow.

"Just pay up, don't be cheap," he said with crossed arms.

"It's a party. Obviously, I didn't bring any money with me, I've never needed it."

The guy just shook his head and walked away, leaving you alone and needy.

No samples. No dealers. You couldn't contact Yoongi at the moment either, which meant drugs were now out of the question. So much for having fun.

You downed your cup of beer, though you knew the most it would do was leave you buzzed. You could always start searching for the vodka you had seen earlier, but your dad was coming back tomorrow and you didn't want to be dealing with a killer hangover when meeting him.

While your mind did back flips trying to figure out a way to salvage the night, your gaze caught Jimin at the other side of the room. He was laughing with a girl, rarely taking a sip from his cup as he listened to the girl talk about things you couldn't hear.

You've heard a lot of people say that taking heroin feels like having 1000 orgasms at once. Obviously, there was nothing else that could achieve such a feeling.

But there was definitely something that came close.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin's eyes, which had been scanning the room nonchalantly, fell on your figure. When you didn't look away, he tilted his head, almost like he was asking a question.

Your gaze flickered to the staircase before landing back on him. Hoping he'd get the hint, you started making your way up them, not waiting to see if he was following.

Asking for sex was one thing you would not grant Park Jimin. If he wanted it, he was going to have to be smart enough to get it.

After checking in on a few rooms, you finally entered one that wasn't occupied with a moaning mess of bodies. It was luxurious, with a king sized bed wrapped in comfy looking sheets, a fluffy carpet coating most of the floor and a mini chandelier hanging overhead.

It made you wonder what the hell Taehyung's parents did for a living.

Before you could ponder any further, the sound of the room’s door opening and then closing quickly pulled you out of your thoughts, which was then followed by the sound of light footsteps treading carefully on the wooden floor.

When the footsteps softened because of the carpet, you turned around to find Jimin standing barely a foot away from you, his gaze focused on your still form. Now that the prospect of sex was a lot more likely, you let yourself properly enjoy the sight of him. Your eyes first started with his body, taking in the toned muscles that peaked through his white shirt and then his thick thighs that were exposed through his ripped jeans.

"It looks like you've changed your mind," he said, taking a step closer, causing you to take a step back.

But Jimin simply took another step forward until you could feel the cold wall press into your back. One of his hands leaned against the wall behind your head while the other leaned against the wall beside your stomach, caging you in the process. It forced you to focus on his face now, rather than his body. His orange hair was still dishevelled, framing his face perfectly. Despite the softness of his cheeks, his jawline was sharp, along with his eyes and nose. With how close he was, you could see every dip and pore in his face, yet somehow you couldn't find a single flaw on his skin.

His eyes scanned your own body and face the same way you had barely a second ago, pupils dilating in desire.

"Can I touch you, kitten?"

Ignoring the nickname, your gaze travelled down to his lips, which looked so soft and plump. You wanted to know how they would feel on your skin, especially on your own lips.

You nodded slowly before breathing out your answer, "yes."

Jimin wasted no time pulling you closer towards him. He let his hands run down your arms and rest at your waist as his eyes flickered between your lips and neck, as if conflicted as to which one to start with.

As he pulled your waist against him, his lips started on your neck, leaving behind light kisses that gradually became more and more heated. His hand rubbed circles against your hip, in an oddly reassuring manner, while his lips started to lower to your collarbone.

Your breathing started to intensify as Jimin left open mouthed kisses against your neck and jaw.

"I was hoping you'd change your mind," he breathed against your neck. A new set of pleasuring shivers travelled down your spine.

"Why's that?"

His hand, which had been resting on your hip, traveled upwards to cup your cheek, "I wasn't joking when I said you had a pretty face."

The hand cupping your cheek suddenly pulled you forward as Jimin connected your lips with his. They were so soft and plump as they moved against yours, causing your stomach to flutter in satisfaction. You never realised just how pleasurable making out was until today.

Jimin’s lips travelled back to your neck as he continued to drop heated kisses against your skin. You could still feel his hand rubbing circles into your hip while the other brushed against your cheek to hold your head steady.

Feeling a little hazy, your hand disappeared into your pocket to bring out the white bottle Yoongi had given you this morning. As Jimin continued to wreck your neck in the most pleasurable way possible, you opened the bottle behind his back and moved it to down a pill or two.

But the sound of its opening caused Jimin to look up until he eyed the bottle in your hand.

"Are those drugs?" He asked suddenly, pulling away from you slightly.

"No they're just Skittles," you replied sarcastically, moving the bottle towards your lips once again. But before you could pop even one pill, Jimin swiped the bottle out of your hand and chucked it into the trash can across the room.

"Wh- Hey! What the hell?!" You protested, but he gently pushed you back against the wall.

"No drugs in the bedroom."

Before you could scoff he closed the distance between the two of you once again, letting his lips brush against your ear, "you're in my bedroom, Y/N. That means you follow my rules."

As if to make a point, he brushed his fingers against the inside of your clothed thigh, pulling a heavy breath from your lips.

Your irritation soon morphed into pleasure as Jimin brought his lips to yours once again. One of his hands was still rubbing circles against your hip, but the other had moved down to your waist to pull you closer to him.

“Why did you-” he paused at the sight of you as he pulled back for a moment. Swollen lips, messy hair, heavy pants… Jimin didn’t think he’d ever encountered someone hotter in his entire life.

He cleared his throat, hoping you didn’t notice the pause, “why’d you change your mind?”

You took him in for a moment. His rust-coloured hair was dishevelled, with a few strands falling onto his forehead, while his plush lips separated to accommodate his heavy breaths.

You shrugged.

“I wanted to try a different kind of fun,”

“Fun?” He repeated with a grin.

You felt his hand circle your wrist before he guided you away from the wall. From this angle, you got to enjoy his back muscles peeking from his white shirt before he turned back to you.

“Clothes off. Get on the bed,” he instructed, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to a corner.

“I’ll show you what fun is, kitten.”

Next Chapter...

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armpirate · 11 months

Text

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 34

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 12 minutes

Chapter warnings: angst, triggering content, unexpected pregnancy, miscarriage, mention of abuse and prostitution

Jungkook was staring down at the files Sanhyuk presented him, he looked through every single picture in hopes to find the slightest sign of photoshop in them, he tried to find explanations to all the information that was gathered about the last three months, and how his father started moving as soon as Y/n came into the picture, using a fake name not to be caught. His fist clenched when he saw the several accords and deals Pedro had made with a new person out of nowhere, who was also from South Korea.

But the only thing that exposed him was that particular threat that only he used. He used it whenever he wanted to take revenge on someone who worked for him, or someone else from a different family. That was why most of the leads kept their significant others private, unless they knew it was serious enough to be unable to hide them. One of the men who sent it to Namjoon's apartment was the same person who was his father's closest bodyguard back in the day.

The information in those files went even further. There was no medical data on his father's death, but there was a report of a body going missing from the morgue a day before he was supposedly buried. Trying to confirm whether his father was the one in that coffin, Sanhyuk's men checked his grave, only to find a body that didn't belong to the leader of the old Bangtan, but a homeless man that died due to an overdose.

He had all the signs, he had all the proofs, but he still wanted to find an excuse, an explanation as to why Sanhyuk was probably playing with him and sending him to a trap.

—Mr. Jeon is alive? —Jin's shaky voice sounded over the speaker.

—How's that no one has seen him? —Yoongi asked later.

—And how the fuck did he get any information from Jungkook or Y/n? Someone's definitely working with him right now —Hoseok mentioned.

—It makes no sense —Taehyung interrupted them—. He was killed in front of you. Right, Jungkook?

But he was still focused on all the pieces he needed to tie together. Too focused on that to care about the conversation the members were having.

—Jungkook? —Hoseok tried to get the youngest's attention.

—I need to go to Spain —he muttered.

Namjoon sighed at that comment, knowing there would be no way to convince him to do the opposite. The rest of the members looked at their respective screens, hoping Jungkook would be back to his senses after a few seconds. But when he raised his eyes from the pile of papers and looked up at the big TV, the confidence that radiated through them told them everything they needed to know at that moment.

—You aren't sure Y/n is not okay —Namjoon tried to bring some peace into his head.

—The men that were reported to be around her by Chul were working for our family until my father died. Then, suddenly, they disappeared, and came back again exactly where she is. Do you want to call that a coincidence? —Jungkook blew— Y/n hasn't called in a whole day, and she isn't answering my calls either. And you want me to think she is okay? We don't even have news about Chul.

Jimin was awfully silent when his name dropped for a second time, gulping thick before all the eyes from the people in the video call landed on him.

—Chul was found dead in the truck of his car when I sent a group to check on him. That's why his location hasn't changed in the past twenty eight hours.

Namjoon sighed deeply with that new information, closing his eyes for a brief moment before his eyes met Jungkoko's over the screen.

—I can't stay here without doing anything —Jungkook commented.

—Let's work intelligently, then —Namjoon supported him.

Jungkook bit his lower lip, hiding his lip ring in his mouth while he looked down at the files, trying to get an idea of what he should do next.

—It'll take me half a day to get there —he sighed—. Jimin, you're only half an hour by plane.

—You expect me to mess with your father by myself? —the blond opened his eyes wide, before a smirk showed on his face— I love that. I'll put my people here to work. You mentioned Pedro has been meeting with him these months, so we'll work through him.

Jungkook nodded, looking at the rest of the members whose expressions were serious on that big screen.

—To the rest, just watch your backs. If he went to the lengths of doing this to Y/n, I can't imagine what he'll plan to do if he ever knows you helped me to get her out of there.

—We'll try to. But you're the one who needs to be the most careful —Yoongi reminded him—. Your father was known to be merciless, it didn't matter who it was.

What Jeon Jungho didn't know was that Jungkook could be even more dangerous than him, especially when it came to Y/n and her safety.

—I guess this means a change of plans? —Namjoon raised his eyebrow.

—Forget about the plan B we talked about.

Before, his plan B was running away with Y/n, retiring away from everything that could ever hurt her or damage her to give her the better life he had always promised. But there was no room for that plan anymore, not while his father was still alive and looking for the minimum chance to hurt them and erase them.

✸ ✸ ✸

Y/n felt cramps on the upper part of her arms, wishing there would be away to let go of the cables -although they were tied so tight around her wrists, that at some point they started feeling cold and numb, until she changed her position again, lifting them over her head so her wrists wouldn't be hanging on the material.

While being surrounded by the darkness, that cold gaze Jungkook's father gave her made her genuinely aware of how close her life was to ending. She had been pulling the buttons of fate for way too long, and that was the death sentence she was handed.

Sitting there, not feeling the lower half of her body because of staying in the same posture while laying in the cold ground, she thought of all the decisions she took before life got too complicated for her to survive.

She saw the pregnancy test she had taken only fifteen minutes before, staring at it as if that would change the result, as if that would change the fact that she was indeed pregnant when her life was just getting started.

Wrapping it in paper, she tried to hide the test, before she threw it in the small trash bin in her bathroom.

She was fucked. She was about to ruin all the plans her parents had for her. And that made her even more scared of their reaction.

The sound of the slap against her cheek deafened her while she fell to the ground, holding her burning cheek as if that would ease the pain, while her mother just looked at her as if she was one grotesque creature. Her father just looked at them, unable to defend her, not wanting to get in between them because, deep inside, he agreed with all the words that his wife was dedicating to their daughter. "How the hell are you not even thinking of an abortion? Do you have any idea what a baby would mean?".

And she knew, it scared her to know that another human being was growing inside of her, it scared her to know that she had two options, but she wasn't sure of the decision she wanted to take.

But the hesitation and doubt would pay her a heavy consequence the next day, while she made her way back home from high school and was unable to slip her key towards the door of the entrance. And it was when she looked at the right, that she was aware of a bag with all of her things inside. They weren't willing to give her support, they weren't willing to give her a roof to live under anymore. They didn't even give her the chance to say goodbye properly before they kicked her ass away. Hell. She wasn't even able to kick the main door, because the closed wall was keeping her from doing so. She cried, she begged, she fought with the door, but the only response she got was silence.

The same silence that received her when she went to Lucas' place, and the first thing that she received was rejection. Treated as if that baby was only hers, as if she had been the only one to blame for what happened. "The last thing I want is problems" his mother muttered, holding her clothes tight on a fist before she closed the door on her face.

She learned to live alone, more like she was forced to get herself out there and do something for a living. For her, for her future and the baby that was growing in her guts. She wasn't sure she wanted to have it, but it turned into the only thing that made her look forward into the future, that made her hopeful about what was ahead of her after all the darkness.

At least, until the third month. The pain on her back and lower belly almost made it impossible for her to go to work. She was barely able to stand straight without being forced to shrink. All her hope was gone when she saw all the blood, everything she was hopeful for was disappearing without her being able to stop it. She just saw it all unfold, falling to her knees and crying out loud while she hoped all of it was just a nightmare or an illusion that tiredness was playing in her mind.

She knew it wasn't.

She wasn't even able to mourn her loss properly, getting ready for work on the same day after cleaning up herself and ignoring the pain.

A few days later, her condition only got worse. And she thought that maybe it was due to the lack of sleep and the way she cried to sleep.

She didn't notice her skin was burning, her sight was blurrier with every minute that went by and her heart rate was so fast that it seemed she was close to collapse.

And she did.

She lost consciousness walking back to the small room she rented, in the middle of the rain. She was hopeful death was taking her finally, praying she'd be able to rest before her eyes closed slowly.

A few days later, she woke up in a hospital, while an old man was looking at her with a clear look that radiated concern. And that was by her side when she was told the miscarriage caused an infection that could've ended her life if it hadn't been for him. Just like the doctor said that, she added the impossibility of being able to have kids after the damage her uterus had suffered over the infection. But Y/n just took that information as if it was nothing, completely impassive over the situation. She wasn't expecting any good news, she wasn't expecting things to work the way she liked, and she knew there would be no way to change it. So she just reacted in the most heartless way she could.

Jorge looked after her although he didn't have to, he gave her a home and a proper job in his stationery although he had no compromise of responsibility with her. He did it naturally, and just that way he created a close bond with her, embracing her in his family, along with his small daughter that looked up to her as if she were her older sister.

Life was smiling back to her. But it was too good to be true.

Jorge had a heart attack out of nowhere that almost forced them to close the only income they had at that moment. And it was only when she was forced to take over all his responsibilities, that she was aware of all the debts and loans notices that were close to expire, and that she knew would only end up wrongly for all of them. She worked two jobs, but even then she wasn't able to get enough money to pay the bills and cover the debt.

Easy money was more difficult to find than she thought. Especially when she had to cover such a high quantity. One of the women that worked for the lender advised her to go to a club in one of the most expensive areas of Mallorca, assuring her she'd be able to get the money there.

The man in charge of that place smiled big when she explained her situation. Maybe she shouldn't have shown herself so desperate, maybe she shouldn't have begged for the money, but Jorge's life was more important than her pride in that moment. She owed it to him.

Pedro ignored her sobs when he made her strip in front of him to approve her for the job, and made her feel like an object for the first time when he looked away while she kneeled in front of him to suck him off like he asked her to.

He tied her to a debt she probably would have to pay for for the rest of her life in that place.

Everyday, the reflection she saw in the mirror of the club with the different outfits looked more unrealistic, as if she was seeing someone else and not herself every time she met her own eyes in the glass. Life turned into a thing she was forced to do, and she just went with the flow. Until she met Jungkook.

Maybe... Only maybe if she had taken better decisions in life, she wouldn't have been in that situation.

If she hadn't gotten pregnant at eighteen, her parents wouldn't have kicked her out of her home, her boyfriend wouldn't have broken up with her and she wouldn't have had to deal with such difficulties.

Maybe she didn't regret them that much. Maybe, only maybe, she was glad all of her decisions took her to him.

It was the second time she was face to face with Death, although she had never been so scared to die as she was in that moment. Not because of the idea of dying, but because she thought she wouldn't be able to properly say goodbye to the people she cared about. Once again, she disappeared from Jorge's and Carla's lives without saying a thing, and once again her chest was burning with pain at the idea of not being able to see Jungkook one last time to talk to him properly.

That idea terrified her, making her sob and breathe with difficulty, while her chest ached awfully. So focused in her own pain that she wasn't aware of a person breaking into the room she was in, until she felt the pressure on her wrists disappearing and the bag on her head being removed.

She didn't care who was in front of her. She just let her fist fly to their face, making them fall back to her side and setting the way free for her to run and escape.

The air got stuck in her lungs when a pair of arms stopped her, suddenly placing them on her chest and neck to keep her still. Again, she kicked his feet, she tried to move away, she battled against the person, hearing him huff and groan, before he spoke.

—Stay still, I'm on your side —but she still moved, trying to get away—. Shit, stop moving. You'll end up hurting yourself and Jungkook will kill me.

Her movements slowed down after his name dropped. It could easily be another trap, the man could be lying to her. Until she dared to look up over her shoulder, recognizing his face almost instantly.

He was there when Jungkook claimed her at the party. He was part of Bangtan, and he was there.

—I know, questions —he grabbed her arm by the elbow—. I'll explain it all in the car.

Getting to that place was easy, way too easy. Even if they had thrown breadcrumbs to guide their way to where they had her, they wouldn't have managed to find her as fast and easily as then.

Finding Pedro's car in front of the building was way too easy, to the point of making everything seem off since they stepped there. But that wasn't the moment to doubt the difficulty or guess what the test was. They all just needed to get out of there, and take her to the safe area that Jungkook told him to take her to.

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones @allamericanuniverse @00frenchfries00 @massivelyfullenthusiast

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #mafia!au #The Only One #reader insert #armpirate

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