#absolutely see her getting some designer shit OR making her stuff herself tbh

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Saw @barbabetos's post doing this for her self insert so now I've done this for Dolasach hehe~

(Some Of) Dola's Aesthetic Inspo Board

some of the cast's thoughts on her fashion under the cut >w<

Lucifer: As a member of the 'black is the best neutral’ club, he’s rather fond of her fashion choices, and couldn’t help but be relieved that she’s influenced Satan’s taste and not the other way around through the years. Some choices are very much still choices to him, however; her louder, more elaborate coats and dresses sometimes still baffle him, but he knows better than to tell her to tone it down. Would trust her to pick out clothes for him, and sometimes asks for her opinion of which expensive black turtleneck works better with his expensive black slacks. They probably get their staples from the same place.

Mammon: They probably shop at the same places, honestly, so he more than approves of her taste in fashion. He thinks she carries herself and her clothes well and is tempted from time to time to steal some of the clothes she’s made herself because he knows they’ll sell for a good buck. He likes hanging around her whenever she pulls out something showy, and sometimes tries to convince her to go modeling with him—which 9 times out of 10 end in a refusal. Unless it’s for a solid floral/knitwear collection.

Levi: Admittedly rather flip-floppy with how much he likes what she wears, depending on the day. He veers between thinking she dresses like a total normie (the snobbish artsy type that looks down on low brow art too) and thinking she radiates protagonist energy with how much she stands out from the crowd whenever she wears one of her fancy coats, but for the most part he does like acknowledge that she's fairly well polished. He likes it best when she’s dressed down though, because he’s learned to associate it with her hanging out with him.

Satan: He thinks she looks stunning in anything, really, and he just thinks she looks even better when she loves what she wears. He's actually started absorbing a little of how she dresses over the course of their relationship, whether he realizes it or not, and Asmo's slipped a few thank you's in Dola's direction because of it. Takes some of her larger clothes to wear himself, since a good many of them are in his size. And if she has any complaints, she hasn't made them—probably because they both know a decent chunk of her clothes are actually taken from his and Solomon's closets.

Asmo: They also probably shop at the same places, so he's another who more than approves of her taste in fashion—though part of him does wish that she'd show off more skin, especially since he thinks her tattoos are really pretty. "You should show them off more!" he says, and she replies with telling him that she does show them off whenever its a good day to wear something sleeveless. "But what about the tattoos on your legs?" Oh, well, she'll think about that one in a few years. He's also very thankful that Satan's urge to want to see her in his clothes made him update his wardrobe somewhat, and thinks it's cute that she and Solomon match half the time. Loves when she wears florals and color.

Beel: "I think she looks good." is his usual comment on the matter—he's not really one to pay too much attention to what people wear, but he does pay enough attention to be able to pick out clothes she'd like whenever they go shopping for athletic wear. There are times though when he worries if she's overheating or if she might accidentally trip over her own skirt. Sometimes he also can't help but think the more realistic designs on her clothes look delicious—it's okay Beel, they really do look delicious. Sometimes she gets him to wear her clothes to stretch them out on purpose.

Belphie: He wishes she'd let him borrow her sweaters, they look so soft and comfy. As do a lot of her clothes, actually, but he knows he doesn't have clothes-stealing privileges. He does think a few of her clothes seem like a lot, and has noticed that she stands out a lot whenever they go out into the human world. But it's whatever, so long as she isn't bothered, right? Sometimes he makes hints that he likes the fabric of whatever she's wearing (more like really obvious comments, really) which does get him some clothes made with the same thing, but he finds that it just doesn't feel the same if they're new.

Diavolo: Yet another who probably shops at the same places Dola does. Of course he finds her fashion really interesting and never fails to let her know, though his compliments are usually just met with a polite, impersonal smile, unlike the others. He's a bit amused by how much she manages to blend in visually with the humans he tends to spend the most time with because of his work with Hotel Corvo and Three-Legged Crow group, but never comments on it. He has the feeling that she wouldn't really respond well to any attempts to joke around with her about that.

Barbatos: He appreciates how much thought and polish goes into her outfits, both in styling herself and in the garments themselves. Any compliments from him about her appearance are actually genuine, and really that's as far as most of their conversations go. He'll sometimes ask where she got her clothes just to mentally log it for when Diavolo needs to gift her anything on special occasions, and he makes it a point to pay attention so that whatever they get her is something she likes too much to never wear.

Solomon: As another member of the 'black is the best neutral' club, he's very fond of her fashion. And unlike Lucifer, he's very fond of her more out there choices in clothes, especially since he himself has quite the eye catching signature coat and goes around the human world wearing a hard to ignore selection of talismans and other enchanted accessories. They tend to have days where they match, and they regularly send each other pictures of really cool coats and jewelry. He too sometimes takes her clothes as equal exchange for her taking some of his. Credits himself as the starter of her fondness for unique outerwear after he gifted her a hooded cloak that resembles his starry coat after she became an official (read: legal) sorcerer.

Simeon: Finds the way she dresses to be interesting because it stands out from most of the humans he's encountered. It sometimes makes him wonder if going through the trouble of buying a new wardrobe to blend in with humans was actually necessary, but then her catches how people stare at Dola and her usual company of at least one demon and one immortal sorcerer. He finds himself going to her for advice on human world fashion, which amuses her because she doesn't think it's really that different from the Devildom's. She tries to get him hip to oversized sweaters and knitted cardigans, and it does happen—much to the joy of the Angel's Halo regulars.

Luke: Absolutely enamored whenever he sees her wearing something other than her all-black ensembles. He can tell that there's something to how she dresses because he doesn't miss all the people who give her odd looks and the occasional person who gasps and in surprise. He can't help but want to touch the designs on her clothes, especially the floral ones that look so real, and she does let him. Like Beel, he worries sometimes that she might overheat or trip over her skirts, but for the most part is content to just think she looks nice.

[anx1oustig3r]

why do you draw dark willow like that

tbh i could give a snarky answer but i’ve had my lunch and a painkiller so im in a good mood rn

for me a big thing with character design that i love is trying to reflect the characters personality and attitude in the design and … i think i gotta take a moment to talk about valve’s issues with character writing in dota, specifically with poor little mireska sunbreeze

an addendum i also believe that anyone’s read of the character is perfectly fine and valid, this is just mine and i get that it’s extremely different to the Oversight one that’s more popular

tl;dr: i see her as a dangerous, evil character and draw her more sharp to reflect that

mireska in particular really suffers from her canon design. i dont think it’s bad mind you, i actually like it a lot, but i will say the first time i saw the character my response was “ugh of course, waifu porn bait, not surprised.” then i read her lore and i was SHOCKED because the character presented in the lore just didn’t line up with the visuals. now granted, the character in game is very “haha mischievous little fairy” but thats where i want to bring up the inconsistencies.

im firm in my stance that snapfire is the most interesting and well written character in dota, but i seriously believe that spot could have been mireska if they just commit to what was set up with her.

this is her lore piece in game and there’s key words here: spiteful, contempt, manipulation, cutthroat. along with the note that she was GOOD at dealing with this stuff. she fit in with it and even says herself if it wasn’t for her father she’d have stayed in revtel

it’s pretty evident here. mireska is an absolute piece of shit made worse by the fact that this is very clearly an active choice she’s making and has zero intention to change if these lines are anything to go by.

(tumblr is glitching so im praying it chose the right photos)

it doesn’t really come across when you load her into the game. it’s just, cheeky waifu at best. she doesn’t seem all too effected by what she’s supposedly been through. granted that’s the standard of dota writing, but thats what i’m getting at. the lore sets up one character but then the game presents you with another very watered down one note version of them.

so the mireska i draw comes from the character presented in the lore. a rebellious asshole who was fucked up enough to burn her families estate down to the ground AS A CHILD and steal a family heirloom purely to rub salt in the wound of her father, clearly there was some messed up dynamic there but the game wont really elaborate further outside of “overbearing”. i often find myself thinking it would have been great if they let her acknowledge this in game, especially since it’s evident some years have passed since the fire, you don’t become wanted in 6 nations with a nasty reputation and armies worth of assassins and bounty hunters after you in just a couple of weeks.

does she feel any guilt for what she did? has she realised that she’s set herself down a spiral of self destruction but she could stop it at any point as dontè implies? does she know this but trying to change and be better is basically admitting that she’s in the wrong which she would rather tear her own wings off than admit that?

i don’t know if im crazy for having this read of her, or looking too hard into a game that regularly gets memed on for not having any lore, but personally these themes of holding yourself accountable that hang on the back of her character are fascinating and resonate a lot with me. and i guess that’s why i draw her the way i do. i see her as this rough, conflicted character who’ll shank you first, rob you blind and not bother to ask questions. someone with a bitter past that she’d rather leave behind and be the worst version of herself purely to spite whatever expectations were put on her in childhood (given her father was a merchant king and the way she talks about him, there was clearly SOMETHING)

so i use a lot of sharp shapes, hard edges typical of a roguish dangerous character. dark outlines, fangs and claws to exaggerate that she’s a monster and a clear threat. she’s thin and gangly like a bramble stick you’d find walking in the woods in the dead of night, with cat eyes that gleam in the darkness like a predator watching.

i could talk about why i read a very queer interpretation of her too but i think i rambled enough as it is and this is gonna get posted to reddit where gamers will laugh at me and send anon hate to this blog but what can you do, such is life im afraid.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 21

post directory

em: viola and becs love their lil hikes

em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing

em: hmm.

em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes

em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her

obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks

obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"

em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights

obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,

em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like

em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj

em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks

obsetress: dani gets SO excited

---

obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches

obsetress: no but um

obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected

obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh

obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"

obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................

obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"

"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"

"no?"

"it was months"

em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny

em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’

obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too

---

obsetress:

obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???

obsetress: a whole babe

obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this

em: god she’s so Hot

obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter

obsetress: and this exact face

em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments

obsetress: they have absolute blowouts

obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim

obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other

em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet

obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later

obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it

em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex

obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"

"wot"

"what?"

em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad

em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!

obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad

em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like

em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’

---

obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like

obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just

em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft

obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"

"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"

and jamie just groans

em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf

em: blows kiss to rebecca

---

em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back

em: jamie: ok love

em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B

obsetress: screamed

obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go

obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens

obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else

em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to

obsetress: god she DOES

obsetress: she's so good at it

em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case

obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going

em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum

em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second

obsetress: she pauses

obsetress: then

obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"

em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again

obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning

obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer

em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM

obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like

obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"

em: dani; thanks :)

---

em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think

obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo

em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps

obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like

obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know

obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo

obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird

obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it

em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going

em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her

em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not

obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place

obsetress: "i didn't say that"

"you literally did say that"

"why would i say that"

(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"

(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."

em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal

em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???

obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"

"don't think i will, actually"

em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like

---

em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’

em: therapy queen

em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like

em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like

em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow

obsetress: jamie just grins a lil

em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)

---

em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around

em: a nice thought

obsetress: Wholesome

obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like

obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"

obsetress: all quiet and pensive

em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too

em: and then even quieter she’s like

em: thanks

em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor

obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them

"why are you two being weird"

"we're not–- what?"

"we're just sitting here, baby"

obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes

---

obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little

obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit

em: jamie absolutely has um

em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and

em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like

em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile

obsetress: "i was gonna––"

"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"

em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?

em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like

em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca

em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project

obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing

obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space

obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"

em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like

em: (swings axe) winters coming

obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin

obsetress: jamie's all wot

obsetress: and dani's like

obsetress: :) you're hot :)

em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um

em: if u wanna

em: mimes taking shirt off

obsetress: jamie does it

obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head

obsetress: but she's grinning

obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back

obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders

---

obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch

em: oh gosh

em: i love her she truly is a tragic character

obsetress: same

obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife

obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her

obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion

obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow

em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic

em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents

obsetress: yeah!

em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor

em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later

em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes

obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,

obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?

obsetress: i can also see like

obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"

em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like

em: lets her get it out of her system

em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’

obsetress: she WOULD

obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"

em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.

em: rebecca: mmhmm

obsetress: jamie: me?

obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there

---

em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango

obsetress: oh my god?

em: drawing from that

em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what

em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’

‘wot, me?’

'mmhm’

‘old fashioned?!’

‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘

‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her

em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol

em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes

obsetress: rEBECCA

---

obsetress: thinking thoughts rebecca jamie same height but rebecca heels

obsetress: jamie looking up @ her all

obsetress: rebecca in her heels and is chilly and jamie getting up onto her tip toes to wrap her big coat around rebecca's shoulders

em: softtt

[hoe-imaginess]

replies

I lost a bunch of replies from a few weeks ago, sorry!! I think when my inbox gets too full, Tumblr likes to delete my stuff

@hikaru-mikazuki​

thank you!!!! Fatherhood is a tricky thing for Hawks, but it works out after a little angst <3

@mariamatuni​ 

hello!!! yeah Tumblr messes up sometimes :/

I’m doing alright. Still dealing with finding the right meds/dosage for my sleeping issues, and I’m social distancing still because of other health reasons. So being indoors this long is really taking its toll, understandably, lmao. I’m just trying to find ways to stay active and productive! Whether it’s reading, writing, cooking, doing crafts, etc. Thank you for asking! <3

THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK YOUUU! I’m really on my Dabi shit these days and I really hope the Dabi content is good. (the roommate fic was updated in case you haven’t seen!!!! it was one of my favorite fics to write tbh)

srsly though thank you so much!!

Thank you so much!!!! Honestly, he seems like he would appreciate a casual approach, rather than his crush coming up to him and being romantic/flirty from the get-go. Even if he has feelings for them, a direct approach like that will really throw him for a loop

He thinks it’s SO improper of her tbh. Very ‘un-ladylike’

Yes I definitely think Madara’s insecurities can show up in a relationship, especially when he really cares about his s/o. 

Hello! I can’t remember if I’ve answered this already so sorry if I have—I don’t think Madara or any Uchiha would force the termination, but I think they would make life hard for mother and the baby, and the mother knows this, so she would (based on the way I wrote the MC in the fic) do it herself. And the uchiha would probably expect her to

I actually don’t have a tik tok but I’ve heard of the thirst community on there lmao ESPECIALLY for those two

Omg thanks so much AHHHH!! I love writing Dabi so much, I hope to have more for him out soon

THIS MAKES ME HAPPY AH! I’m glad you liked them!!!

I change my mind so much about what Hawks would be into because I can see him being really open, but at the same time, really firm about what he wants. I definitely think he’s open about sexual relationships, but personal, intimate relationships with a romantic partner definitely need to be treated more carefully

Thanks so much!!!! Hope you’re doing well too!

I honestly have a small draft in my docs about a reverse situation where reader is the one suffering from the aphro. quick and Dabi has to help her out buttttt idk if that’s technically a sequel?? Who knows. Would be pretty interesting though... lots of people have mentioned it, so I’m definitely thinking about it

I think he can be sadistic but I don’t think he’s a fuckboy at all. At least not in the sense that he’s a womainizer? Like, at least the way I write him (or try to) is that sex is far from the first thing on his mind, but he’ll indulge it when he sees the opportunity. I think there’s a bit more room for him to be *sexually active* in AUs? Like, an ABO fic, for example

And as for why that interpretation exists... idk! Can’t stop horny fans from being horny ya feel lol

I haven’t written anything for mm in a longgggg time! I only played the basic routes before they added more to it a few years ago

THANK YOU!!!

<3 this message gave me serotonin 

I.... tbh it’s not my cup of tea!!!! Something about it just makes me feel weird sksksksk. A friend bought me a subscription so I could check out the patreon page, but it wasn’t really for me. Maybe I’ll try to get into it again at some point!

!!! Thank you!!!

I definitely feel like that’s a big madara thing!!( Dabi.... it depends lol)

GOOD!!!! We love our Hot Topic King

I guarantee you people have poked fun at him before because of that and he tries to laugh through it like hahaha :D yeah super funny guys :D but on the inside he’s -.-

I’m so glad!!!! This makes me very happy, I hope I can continue to put out good stuff for you <3 tysm

Thank you!!!

I can tell you rn Tobirama would walk in then walk right back out sksksk

I 100% agree with this. I’m not sure if he’s a virgin, but for the sake of writing the smut people ask for, I feel he’d be... someone who enjoys sex as an outlet for stress (and sometimes anger). But it’s literally one of the last things on his mind. When he’s in the moment, sure, he’s focused on it. But he’s not constantly thinking about sex, or seeking sex, or anything similair to that

Thank you for this <3

I think if it’s really intense he purposely detaches some of the feathers he knows will get in the way—otherwise yeah his wings totally twitch and stretch and shake when the sex is BOMB

I can definitely see that!

I’m really into Dabi rn to an unfathomable degree... I can’t escape. I’m definitely into BNHA right now but I’m still working on Naruto projects, and a few other fandoms

why of course (;

Thank you so much!!!!!!

I honestly wonder about this like... when I write Dabi smut... do I include the Pube Issue??? Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist

Thank you so much <3

I think he would appreciate it at first, but after a while he would start feeling sort of... inadequate? Basically, like he’s not stepping up like he should. But at the same time, he still has his hero work, so it’s difficult for him to take initiative and be like “Nah, you know what? I’m ready for fatherhood” 

I do have one I need to put out soon! It’s just sitting in my drafts. I really need to work on it

I’m really into the idea that Hawks still has bird-like instincts so him/his family having the SHINY THING?? fixation is.... so funny to me. But that would definitely make sense!

LMAOOOOO hell nope. couldn’t be me. sorry pre-design Hawks

He would definitely see where she’s coming from, and honestly, might be a little relieved to hear it, AT FIRST. But then the guilt would come to him, and like what happened in the fic, he’d probably come around and convince her to make it work

GOOD!

IT REALLY IS! I always think about this tbh

Yeah y/n really out here having fun isn’t she!!!

For the canon AU fics I write, yes definitely! I really don’t think I could exclude hero work and keep the fic loyal to the culture of hero society. It gives a lot to their character, but honestly, it creates more room for angst. Which I love <3

Not really! I mean, we see so little of them that most of the way I see/write them is really just me digging deeper to see what fits. Sometimes I’ll rewatch a scene from the show and think of something new, but otherwise, most of the characterization really just stems from the little bits we see of them. I take it and run with it lol

HONESTLY you’re absolutely not wrong

[yuukei-yikes]

Headcanon roulette! What jobs do you think the kagepro cast would have?

(CRACKS KNUCKLES) LISTEN I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HEADCANON ROULETTE IS BUT IF YOU CAME LOOKING FOR A SHORT ANSWER I AM VERY SORRY i am going to give you so many headcanons youre gonna pass out i am going to tell you my headcanons and WHY i have them and i'll also be angry at jin for saying bullshit about their jobs. it's gonna be a good time SO. MY JOB HEADCANONS FOR THE KAGEPRO CHARACTERS: shintaro: jin says he'd be a teacher and to this i say (rolls newspaper and hits him in the head). WHAT THE HELL MAN!!! shintaro loves music bro i GUESS he could be a music teacher but EH i don't see him like the sort of person who'd enjoy being in a classroom so my headcanon is the obvious: song writer/composer. obviously. bro seriously why a teacher?? this guy's SISTER work(ed)s in the music industry, momo would absolutely use her contacts to help shintaro build a career out of music! and if shintaro's music are the kagepro songs we know then they'd have success lol and yes this is meta but he canonically wrote tomei answer SO... COME ON. writing songs inspired on the events? bro. bro. bro. b ayano: whatever she does i think she'd 100% wanna work with children. if anyone wants to be a teacher it'd absolutely be her! i like to think she becomes a social worker/kindergarten teacher? just anything she chooses to do would be around children tbh. kido: everyone always makes a big deal out of her cooking so i like to think she goes to cooking school!! so a chef!  i know jin said kido would have an orphanage but. 1) wh. why kido. ayano is right there?? ayano makes more sense to me than kido idk 2) why specifically the OWNER of an orphanage that's just weird kjrfksdhgds i GUESS it's not as ridiculous as jin's take on kano's job (i'll get to that next) but still... it's gonna be a nah from me kano: listen. listen. my job hc for kano is VERY headcanon based so i don't have any Canon(tm) content to support it but i assure you it makes more sense than jin's bullshit take on how he'd be a P*LICE OFF*CER. LIKE. EXCUSE YOU SIR WASH YOUR MOUTH YES KANO IS A DICKHEAD BUT HE WOULDNT GET TO THAT POINT!! SO my take is... hairdresser. WHY?? GLAD I PRETEND YOU ASK: again it's very hc based but i'm just gonna say kido hates talking to strangers bc she's #invisible and seto hates crowded places + when they move by themselves with mary i got the feeling they sheltered themselves from the world SOOO what if from then on kano has always done their hair for them im JUST SAYING... I THINK IT'D BE SWEET AND COOL AND FUN AND ALSO HE SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE. come on kido's green hair?? kano's doing. please. it'd be epic momo: she quits being an idol BUT momo adores 1) being silly 2) making people happy. what would she do? my most cursed but also my best take: fuckign....YOUTUBER.... she'd be her own boss and she'd make videos of whatever the HELL she feels like doing. trying to make art. destroying her hair. doing drag makeup. just whatever dude like everyone would know her as that one youtube girl who used to be a massively popular singer but now films herself bleaching her hair 5 times in one night and it'd WORK seto & mary: ok for once what jin said makes sense to me but i don't think he even said it, it just showed up in saiyuki's comic where they have a flower shop together. like i agree with that, they would! but maybe after a while seto would go work/maybe open a shelter of his own leaving the flower shop for mary haruka & takane: ANOTHER two that i'm not mad about what jin thinks (thankfully can you imagine how fucking mad i'd be if he said bullshit about my faves' jobs lol) i mean haruka has his whole thing of how he wants to be an artist and apparently takane is a streamer which i'm not mad at. i'll extend on them: i think both would be freelancers, haruka with art and takane  aside from her streams she'd like coding! like after being ene she for SURE knows some shit and she's super into videogames so she'd absolutely get into developing games and stuff. good for haruka and takane, their regular life is a quarantine hiyori: i don't have much to say about her but fashion designer/model would work for her i think. she's like that hibiya: HIBIYA HONESTLY I JUST... CANT THINK ANYTHING FOR HIM i think jin said he'd be an archeologist which i mean ok?? but ayaka was an archeologist and idk it seems weird he'd also be one with no connection to her at all for some reason but im not completely mad at the idea since i do think hibiya would have something that everyone considers to be INCREDIBLY BORING as a job. i want it to be a running gag that no one KNOWS what hibiya does for work and he's super offended about it but no matter how many times he repeats himself no one ever remembers what he does anyway those are my headcanons subscribe and comment click the bell to get notifications everytime i upload a new video i'll see you in the next one

[monkeebratz]

Bio!Dad Bruce Wayne - Scarecrow Interlude

Initial idea | How it Happened | Addition by iggy-of-fans | Reply to iggy’s Addition | Summer Begins | Summer Part 2 | Supers Meet | Scarecrow Interlude (you are here) | 

Honestly this falls after the Batfam meets the Super Squad and after they all meet the Justice League and chew them out. So it’ll be organized in the list chronologically once I get more stuff in there but for now here it is because I couldn’t get it off my mind.

(Also something similar to this happens in another Maribat au but I cannot for the life of me figure out which one so if you know, please tell me so I can link to it!)

Okay, but, Marinette, the Wayne’s, and the Super Squad are all at a party that The Scarecrow crashes. Somehow he ends up super close to Marinette and injects her with a full vial of Fear Toxin. The Wayne Family is screaming bloody fucking murder because holy shit no. 

Marinette, badass extraordinaire, knows how to handle her fear. She’s like, always afraid tbh. Anxiety is a hellish landscape many of us must suffer. So, instead of panicking (I mean she’s absolutely panicking and having some kind o attack but she’s a hero ffs, she’s got this) gets mad. Very mad. Grabs onto the front of Scarecrow’s shit and just starts decking him. Repeatedly. There’s always a hand on him to ensure that its really him that she’s hitting bc he never let go of her and she never let go of him. 

(Adrien, right after Mari gets injected: OOHH, now you have fucked up! You have fucked up now!

Kagami: Kick his ass, babe, we got your family!

.... they’re the meme team, let me dream.) 

ANYWAYS, Mari punches the Scarecrow into unconsciousness, and keeps a hold of him. Calls out “Sandboy version seven!” which, of course, the whole super squad knows what that’s code for, and takes their designated positions. Marinette proceeds to a process of hitting all of them (not very hard, like, throwing her purse/shoe at them and making sure it hits, waving her hand and making sure it makes contact) and goes through ensuring they’re all real. She can’t tell who is what horrifying creature her brain has pulled out of her nightmares, but hey, she knows its them. Can feel the magic of their Miraculi. 

There’s a couple of close calls because she confirms some of the things she’s seeing/hearing ARE NOT REAL. and Promptly panics even more and tries to fight them. The Super Squad just lets her work it out. 

Meanwhile the Wayne’s are screaming internally like. UH? THAT’S?? THE BABY? WHY THE FUCK DOES THE BABY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS SO WELL? WHO’S ASS IS GETTING KICKED FOR THIS? UM? HELLO? 

they give her all the hugs once Marinette gets the antidote (given via Chloe bc sorry paramedics, Mari can and will beat you into the ground before she lets you touch her.) 

ngl the rest of the day is the whole team going home and dog piling Marinette, who’s still anxious and panicked as hell and constantly gets reassured by everyone what is and isn’t real and that she handled herself well and everything’s fine! Its fine! Really! Just. Give Marinette all the hugs. 

Tag List! (Please remember to send me an ask if you want to be added!)

@mystery-5-5 @mariae2900 @vgirl-10123 @iglowinggemma28 @deredereart @synnesstra @dahjokester @destinationdesignation @lordsmeldingtonthethird @emjrabbitwolf @unabashedbookworm @saphiraazure2708 @rhub4rb @romanoff-queen @octoberscorn @littleblue5mcdork @foxyrelina @severelyenchantedwonderland @dast218

People who should be tagged but may not? So sorry, I’m still going to add you until tumblr stops being a dick about this.

@tbehartoo

[mirazilla]

So a complete chat blanc theory~~

Damn, I’m pretty sure chat actually did murder everyone. —or maybe he froze them or smth?? cuz he and the whole destroyed Paris has a very blue hue— Since this is a kids show I doubt anyone will die, but maaaaybe he did kill them all with cataclysm, cuz we’ve seen volpinas illusion do just that before in catalyst.

Ok, just from the trailer, he looks like a rogue Akuma, the most dangerous kind. How did this happen? Now let me explain...

Let’s start from the beginning, after sadly returning to his room from winning what seems a tournament of sorts ( he has a medal) which probably his father missed, he sees ladybug leave a love letter from marinette on his bed (pray god he connects the dots and finds out ladybugs identity).

So he calls her to invite her to his house, —marinette has an umbrella maybe it’s the same one he gave her on origins?—then tells her about his discovery and his acceptance of her love. Marinette is obviously distressed, she wanted Adrien to love marinette not ladybug!!

So after running from the situation hawkmoth tries to akumatize her. Smth that i thought was weird is adrien transforming into chat for everyone to see. Like, I know marinette is his friend and all, but to risk it all for a regular person to not be akumatized?? He must know she’s ladybug, because if ladybug gets akumatized, it’s game over. (well now that I think of it, if either of them get akumatized is game over,heh)

After saving marinette from a possible akumatization he’s outed as chat noir. Gorilla is in the background so he obvs takes chat into the house and tells Gabriel. Gabriel then takes chat where he keeps Emile, transforms into hawkmoth and then tells him how to get his mom back with the help of the cat and bug miraculous. (They probably kick marinette out of the house and close the doors on her nose, so she can’t intervene)

Hawkmoth offers to akumatize him to give him strength to take down ladybug, but after his doing this, chat will most likely go insane and on a killing spree, cuz akumatization enhances negative emotions and he has plenty of that.

Now there’s two ways this can go

He kills hawkmoth OR he takes hawkmoths miraculous instead cuz he doesn’t want to be controlled by anyone, least of all people his father, the very man who controls every single aspect of his life but seems to be ever absent from it and thus this is where the medal from earlier comes to play, he still feels salty about his father not giving a shit about him winning his tournament/ not being there, so boom extra motivation.

Now either way, he goes outside and finds marinette. Tells her he beated hawkmoth (maybe showing her his miraculous) and asks for her miraculous to bring his mom back, she freaks out and transforms. They battle for a while, destroying all of paris in the way, but he ends up overpowering her so she detransforms into marinette and after not giving up her miraculous he kills her with his cataclysm snapping fingers shooting gun thingy. Destroying her miraculous while doing so and accidentally ruining his plan on getting his mom back.

So after destroying everything, he just waits,,, for someone to reach out to him?? Plagg?? His father? Anyone? He just seems so dang lonely.

So now with the solution:

Bunnix goes back in time to get past ladybug to help—I’m pretty sure that this is like a tradition for all the bunnixes in time, like the bunnix before the actual one did it, the one before her did it, and so on on so forth—. ( to clarify which past ladybug, probably the one before she leaves that dang note on adriens bed, maybe she’s writing it or smth)

Note how she has ladybugs head on a pot to cover her eyes. Maybe time traveling can be mind blowing for anyone other than the rabbit miraculous holder or Bunnix didn’t want her to see the level of destruction chat blanc has made and to make her become overwhelmed by it.

Also she’s gone in the little fight chat and ladybug have so she doesn’t want to/can’t interfere more than she already has or maybe the bunnix from the future told her it must be this way or smth?? Time travel is confusing... ( or chat killed her too, who knows)

Anyway, Chat blanc looks very excited and happy to see her, almost as if it’s been a long time since he last saw her — we don’t know how long this kitty has been waiting all alone in this apocalyptic world— and this clearly is the first time this ladybug sees him.

He reaches out to her and tries to make her cooperate into giving him her miraculous the pacifist way, ( look how surprised she is when he grabs her ears, he’s also super close to her, so they where talking, maybe she was trying to talk some sense to him or smth) but after her refusal he just tries to snatch them from her. This time he will be more careful and will try not to kill her, so we can get a “nerfed” chat blanc instead of the killing mode one.

Either ladybug wins this time ( there’s a theory on how that goes out at the end of this one✨✨) OR, she looses again and has to retreat.

Now for the spicy bit of my theory I’m basing this whole thing in this old spoiler pic of ladybug in Gabriel’s secret basement. (I know all of paris is flooded but this seems like a bunker of sorts?? Idk)

In their fight, chat blanc spilled the beans and said smth about gabriel, his father, being hawkmoth. So after this big ass reveal, she’s overpowered by him. Barely manages to escape and without anyone to go to, she decides to go to the agreste manor. (The lucky charm she summons during the fight can be a butterfly) talks to the now detransformed hawkmoth and they team up to defeat chat blanc. This can go three ways

1. Gabriel uses the peacock miraculous and creates a sentimonster out of his or ladybugs grief to beat chat blanc. (this one is unlikely, cuz we haven’t seen any designs of peacock Gabriel before, while we’ve seen designs for everyone else, mister bug, lady noir, turtle master fu, etc.)

2. he gives her advice on how to get better at fighting or use her miraculous better, idk.

3. And the evil one: Ladybug takes Emilie and Gabriel ( he helps her to come up with this idea) and lures chat out. She gives him an ultimatum, destroy your Akuma ( most probably it’s in the ring which already makes it difficult for ladybug to win without his cooperation) or she drops his family ( maybe she has them hanging from her yo-yo or smth, god damn this got dark). Chat cooperates and destroys his ring —I don’t think taking out his ring will affect his transformation— she casts the miraculous ladybug, bunnix returns from the dead and takes her back to her time. ( lets hope that this miraculous ladybug erases everyone memories or maybe one of bunnixes powers does. I mean, she has the power to time travel, she must have some cool memory erasing thingy from when she fucks up or smth idk. She erases ladybugs memories, tells her to not write that dang love letter and disappears)

✨✨NOW for the option where ladybug defeats chat on that buildings roof top.

Ladybug manages to snatch chats ring from him, but this doesn’t have any effect on him whatsoever and she can’t transform herself into lady noir to destroy it cuz it’s basically impossible and besides the ring is the home of an Akuma so it will behave as a regular ring so no plagg either.

We have another two way situation:

1. she tricks chat blanc into destroying it somehow, fixes everything with the miraculous ladybug, bunnix takes her back before she can see anything else, the end. (most likely outcome tbh, cuz in this version she never figures his identity but she’s left with the knowledge of the dangers of having chat akumatized, which is neat)

2. she flees to the agreste manor and Gabriel helps her purify the ring without breaking it (the dude knows his stuff about the miraculous so it’s possible)

Either way, since bunnix and time travel is also involved, no one will remember shit from this.... like, marinette is with her hair down in this episode and in loveeater (the season finale) adrien emphasizes how he’s never seen her like that sooo, this episode won’t even happen, it will have have absolute zero consequences in the plot and will most likely go insane because of it, so we are in for a ride.

YES YOU HAVE BUT YOU DONT REMEMBER/ IT NEVER HAPPENED.

Damn that was a long rant... it has many holes but hey, I had fun.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay, so this Au that I’m tentatively calling ‘Miraculous Trio’ was suggested by an ask. But here’s the basic concept.

All the Miraculous have the ability to purify the Akumas, so Fu doesn’t send out the Ladybug and Black Cat. Instead, he picks Alya, Nino, and Chloé to be the Fox, Turtle and Bee. Shenanigans ensue to the point where Marinette and Adrien are the stable background romance we get from Canon!DJWifi

I’m just gonna run through episodes and discuss what will be different. Some things will be repeats because a lot of my ‘Chloé is being better’ stories have similar plot threads.

Season 1

Origins Part 1:

Alya and Chloé are both 110% on board with being Superheroes.

Nino is a bit more hesitant, but does decide to do something since he can.

The three run into each other and pick names.

Chloé is already sort of doing the ‘redemption arc’ thing with this, by using Queen Bee as a fresh start to be nicer without backlash.

So while she’s still snarky, she pushes down her ruder comments and is more actively helpful.

They all save the day, but somehow all three of them forget to catch the Butterfly

Origins Part 2:

All three are pretty bummed out about their previous failure, but think ‘hey, even if I quit, the other two will still go out, right?’.

When Stoneheart attacks again, all three decide ‘no, I might not have gotten it right the first time, but I can do something so I will!’, and find hiding places to transform.

All three get that signature ‘Hawkmoth can suck a dick’ speech, vowing to protect the city.

The whole event inspires Marinette to stand up to Chloé in class, which makes Adrien go ‘Heart eyes motherfucker!. (Chloé’s grumpy about it, but will help him. Like all my AUs).

The Umbrella Scene™ happens the same, so Mari also has a crush on Adrien now.

Alya starts up a blog for the Heroes, both as a way to boost her career by pulling some Peter Parker shit, but also to gather information. I’m calling it ‘Miracublog’

She drags Nino into it, as he has a talent for video editing. This partnership starts a low-key romance.

I always have Chloé head the merch department. It’s fun.

Stormy Weather:

When Alya and Marinette take Manon to the park to see Adrien’s phototshoot, Mari and Adrien get stuck with Manon in the ice carousel while Alya’s like ‘I’ll go get help!’.

While the Trio fight Stormy Weather, Mari and Adrien have some bonding time. Adrien absolutely flirts with her, and Mari is a disaster, but she learns to chill(HA) around him much earlier.

The Bubbler

I was debating on if this would be different, as ‘The Heroes being Akumatized is Bad™’, since all three members are able to purify Akumas, it’s not as big of a problem.

Rena and Queen Bee are a little worried that Carapace doesn’t show up for the fight, but he makes up a lie of ‘oh I was on the other side of town and couldn’t get away in time’.

The Pharaoh

The book isn’t a factor.

All three end up at the museum, because there’s hints to other Miraculous there, not just the Ladybug.

Chloé dragged Adrien with her and he ends up as sacrifice instead. He still livestreams the thing because Alya and Nino had given him and Mari a connection to livestream directly to the Miracublog(a precaution to keep an eye on those two if they end up in trouble)

Lady Wifi

I honestly have no idea how this would go. Like I know I said any of the Trio could be Akumatized because it’s not as big a deal in this one but…

Since Alya is a Hero, she has a much healthier respect for Secret Identities, and wouldn’t be digging into it.

I’m just going to say that this one didn’t happen. Maybe something else could Akumatize her, but idk.

Timebreaker

Mostly the same in setup, but the fight goes differently:

Chloé is the one who does the self-sacrifce thing (because even though she’s still not the best person, she is much better of a person as a Hero, and has learned to consider Rena and Carapace her friends, and would die for them)

Rena and Carapace get sent back with Timebreaker.

Once they fix everything and Queen Bee is back, they both actually hug her and she’s kinda confused.

Rena and Carapcae give her the ‘don’t you ever fucking do that again!’ speech

QB kinda accidently confesses that she sees herself as a bit expendable. They don’t really /need/ her to defeat the villain of the day, and tbh they’re better people that she is in general

While they admit they don’t know anything about her Civilian life, they know Queen Bee. And Queen Bee is Exceptional and Irreplaceable.

She kinda cries a little but pretends she isn’t until she gets home.

Mr. Pigeon

Hey! No one’s allergic to feathers here!

Much like my other ‘Chloé is being nicer’ fics, she doesn’t outright try to steal Mari’s hat design.

Everything else is pretty the same.

Evillustrator

Chloé does kinda think about the stuff Marinette says about Sabrina, but it get’s pushed away for now because Akuma

Evillustrator still tries to get Mari on a date with him, and she uses that connection to the Miracublog to show the team where he is/what he’s doing.

The Trio all kina give him a ‘Bitch she ain’t into you!’ speech.

Evillustrator tries to go after Chloé again, and gets frustrated when she isn’t in her room

He asks the Team where they hid her, and Queen Bee’s just like ‘Bitch it’s not like she can’t just go shopping or down to the restaurant! Why does she have to be alone in her room right now? Fuck you!’

Nath thinks all the Heroes are cool, but doesn’t develop a crush.

Adrien, on the other hand, is a little jealous.

Rogercop

This happens because Trixx is like ‘I think I will cause problems on purpose! >:3c’

He steals Chloé’s bracelet and everything after happens.

When Queen Bee sees Rena have the bracelet later during the fight, she demands to know where she got it and learns about Trixx being a prankster.

Post-fight, she sets the record straight about the bracelet, telling Roger ‘it was stolen, and you would’ve found that out if you’d actually done your fucking job!’.

Copycat

Well, there is no ‘Chat’ to copy, so this would be different…

How about when Alya is helping Mari with the phone thing, she doesn’t skip out, thinking it’d be fine if Rena doesn’t make it to the statue unveiling.

Théo gets upset about that, and is a copy-fox? Kinda Volpina-ish.

Dark Cupid

These three are trying to get Mari and Adrien together, meanwhile Alya and Nino are trying to figure out their own love life because they’re trapped in their own version of the Lovesquare.

Chloé still rejects Kim. And while she isn’t as harsh, he’s still upset and Akumatized.

Queen Bee does get hit by Dark Cupid’s arrows, but her feelings toward everyone are so all over the place that it doesn’t entirely effect her. She’s extra rude to her teammates, but she’s able to pull together and still fight despite that.

Horrificator:

Like most AU versions of this I wrote, Chloé is more on board with the Adrienette ship, and this Akuma isn’t entirely her fault.

Darkblade

Without the responsibility of being a Hero, Marinette has no issue trying to be Class President!

Chloé is too busy with being a Hero to bother with any sort of blackmailing.

The Mime

Mari still accidentally erases a video Alya showed her, and she runs through the fight trying to track down the Heroes to remake the interview.

Alya is so touched that Mari would do that for her, and tries not to hug her on-site.

Kung Food

Pretty the same for my ‘Chloé is being nicer AUs’. Accidental sabotage instead of being a dick.

Gamer

Pretty the same, though Adrien invites Marinette to compete instead of her just jumping in. They get their cute not-a-date at her place.

No clue where the Heroes would get a giant robot though.

Animan

The Zoo Trip is plan ‘let’s set up Adrienette’. Though Adrien and Marinette think it’s a plan for them to set Alya and Nino up together.

Rena tosses Adrien and Marinette in the cage. One of them makes a joke about ‘oh, are all our dates going to be like this?’ and they kinda realize that yeah, they’ve kinda had a couple ‘dates’ that were ‘we are being attacked’, and end up talking and realizing the mutual pining and end up together.

Rena is also off her game during the fight since they are fighting her dad, though she can’t tell the others that.

Anti-Bug

The Vanisher part is mostly the same, though the fight was over something different as Chloé probably doesn’t dress up as herself for cosplay.

During the Vanisher fight, Chloé can’t get away to Transform, but she still tries to help.

However, due to Rena and Carapace’s knowledge of Chloé as a person, they’re very upset and hostile toward her.

Eventually Chloé snaps at them, because they trust Queen Bee, but not Chloé. And while she gets it, it hurts. Because she’s the same goddamn person.

And okay yeah we’re using this as the Reveal Episode again.

This would probably be the Queen Wasp episode, as we’ve already had a copycat Fox. Hawkmoth doesn’t catch on to the identity thing though.

After she’s de-Akumatized, everyone ends up having their reveal because Rena and Carapace try to explain why they didn’t trust ‘Chloé’. And like, she gets it. Because she knows how bad she was.

The three agree to still be a team, to trust her more, and to work together to help Chloé be better.

Also now that the Alya/Nino lovesquare is fixed, they start dating. Mostly as civilians though it does come through as Heroes.

Puppeteer

Pretty much the same, though either the Lady Wifi doll doesn’t exist, or it’s replaced with something else.

Reflekta

Again, like most ‘Chloé is being nicer’ fics, she’s less of a jerk here.

Well, she gets snarky about Reflekta’s design. But you know.

Guitar Villain

Pretty much the same(especially Mari being Jagged’s niece now!)

Only thing I’d add is Chloé and Fang interactions because fuck you I like the idea of her adoring this puppy-like crocodile.

Pixelator

Mostly the same.

It does give Alya a bit of perspective on her journalism career though. Sure, she’s not paparazzi or a tabloid reporter, but still.

Princess Fragrance

Goddamn it Rose this was not a good episode for you SPRAYING STRONG PERFUME IN A SMALL CLASSROOM IS A HEALTH HAZZARD AND ESPECIALLY A FIRE HAZZARD IN THE SCIENCE ROOM

Sorry had to say that.

I think for this it would be Wayzz getting sick. Though whether he’s sick or just faking because he misses Master Fu is up in the air, as he suddenly gets better when the Akuma shows up!

Wayzz doesn’t get yeeted like Tikki did in Canon though.

Simon Says

Adrien and Marinette are adorable, and Adrien doesn’t have to do the ‘uh.. I gotta take a shower!’ thing.

Instead, Nino is the one who’s like ‘Hey man, can I borrow your shower for a bit?’. Adrien is confused but doesn’t know if that’s weird or not.

Rena and Carapace quickly get frustrated trying to talk to Gabriel, but Queen Bee knows how to handle him and get him to stop being a fuck(Years of practice).

Volpina

So I know I kinda wrote this before but…. Tbh I’m retconning it a little bit.

Lila shows up and does the whole ‘I’m totally Bffs with the Hero Squad!’ thing.

Said Hero Squad immediately clocks her as a liar and ignores her.

Adrien still finds the book in his father’s safe and brings it specifically to show them

Much like how I always have Chloé figuring out Adrien is Chat Noir, Adrien has figured out Chloé is Queen Bee. Due to her sudden closeness to Alya and Nino, he figured them out too.

He slipped up while talking to Mari once and oops now she knows too!

So yeah he figures ‘show them the book’.

Lila still tries to get all cozy with Adrien, but everyone goes ‘he has a gf so get your hands off!’.

Mari is suspicious of Lila anyway, but no one brushes her off as ‘jealous’.

The Trio ask to borrow the book from Adrien, and he agrees as he also agrees to meet Lila in the park later.  

Originally I wrote Lila trying to do the ‘I’m totally Rena Rouge’ thing, but tbh she’d probably make up a Hero instead since we already had a copycat Fox.

Not sure which one she’d pick, but whatever. She still bought jewelry to try to trick Adrien.

You know what? I want Carapace to be the one to lose his cool here. Because Nino doesn’t get as much attention.

He wanted to keep an eye on what Lila was doing, and maybe take a chance to pull her aside and say ‘hey, maybe don’t try to paint a target on your face by telling anyone who will listen that you know the Heroes??’.

But when he hears everything she says to Adrien, he just snaps and calls her tf out.

Lila gets Akumatized into whatever Hero she made up while Carapace informs Rena and QB about what just happened.

They all fight Lilakuma, and this time she actually does kidnap Adrien to the top of the Eiffel tower.

Once she’s defeated, no one really apologizes. Carapace felt a little guilty for yelling at her like he did, but Rena and QB agree that it was necessary.

They all go visit the Guardian together.

Christmas Special

Adrien still sneaks out, though not with Magic.

No Heroes show up to kick Santa’s ass, so he’s Akumatized differently.

The big party still happens though.

Season 2

The Collector

Carapace might be having too much fun hitting Gabriel.

Chloé’s the one who takes the fall for having the book, because she’s the one who would most likely get forgiveness instead of annoyance. (You can pry Uncle Gabriel out of my cold dead hands!)

Despair Bear

Like most ‘Chloé is being nicer anyway’ fics, the actual attempt goes better, but trying to encourage her though the threat of humiliation is not helping.

Prime Queen

The three have different reactions to the interviews

Carapace is the most awkward, but keeps his cool.

Rena tries to interview Nadja back by asking what it’s like being a reporter.

Queen Bee is used to interviews and playing the crowd.

Things go downhill when Nadja tries to get the romance angle. Everyone’s noticed the Rena/Carapace thing, but she goes further by attempting to spin it as a ‘love triangle’ by throwing QB in there somehow.

They shut that down and end up shutting down the interview altogether. Alya has a mini-crisis and is all ‘if I ever get like that when interviewing someone, please smack some sense into me!

Befana

Pretty much the same

Riposte

Mostly the same, though Kagami doesn’t end up with a crush on Adrien as he’s already taken.

Or I could toss in the Adrien/Marinette/Luka/Kagami polyship idk.

As there’s no jealousy or misunderstandings, Marinette and Kagami get along real early!

Robustus

Mostly the same tbh.

Gigantitian

Since the Adrienette ship is already sailing, there isn’t a plan here.

Maybe they’re planning a big date and the girl squad is there to help?

Dark Owl

Pretty much the same.

Glaciator

Well, all the couples and romance drama is sorted out. Except for whatever’s up with Chloé.

Perhaps she gets skeptical about the ‘Soulmate Ice Cream’ thing, especially with her vague flavor combo and it turns into a thing.

Sapotis

So… I think this is when we can toss in Snake!Marinette! After all, this was the episode where they first started bringing in new teammates!

Alya knows that fighting her little sisters will make her off her game, and there are so many copies and that whole ‘unbridled chaos of small children’, that the group decides that having Second Chance would be good, and they decide to give it to Marinette.

Chloé agrees, but argues for Adrien to be a teammate too.

Mari is hella nervous, but tbh once she has her mind set on something she can run circles around them. And with the power of Second Chance letting her know exactly how things go down? She’s unstoppable!

The Trio is in awe.

Also fuck you let her keep her Miraculous.

Gorizilla

We can take out the plot point of Gabriel suspecting that Adrien is a Hero, because he’s very obviously not in this AU. Carapace is the only male Hero, and even with the Magic Bullshit that lets a tiny mask hid their identities, it’s obvious he looks nothing like Adrien.

That said, everything else is mostly the same.

Captain Hardrock

No Lukanette unless I’m going for that polyship

Everything else is pretty much the same.

Zombizou

Again with the ‘Chloé is nicer so this is different’ plots.

Syren

No issues over not knowing the Guardian, since the Trio all know him. Maybe this is when Mari gets to meet him?

Frightengale

Not entirely sure how to work with this one because none of the usual plotlines would make problems in this.

Chloé’s nicer, Adrien doesn’t have a secret identity, even if Mari auditioned for a role she wouldn’t be put as her own Hero Persona, etc.

Troublemaker

Pretty much the same, though instead of just the ‘embarrassing wall of Adrien’ thing, it’s a wall of pictures from Marinette’s dates with Adrien. Still pretty embarrassing, but more cure and less stalker.

Anansi

Debated about this being a ‘new teammate!’ episode since it was originally, but… eh.

They’re enough to take her down.

Sandboy

Pretty similar, though adjusted for everyone’s personal nightmares.

Reverser

Again, similar, but also can I just say once more: What the FUCK Nathaniel???

Frozer

Instead of the romance shenanigans, this is a group hangout to try and get Kagami more friends. So, like, most everyone is there.

Style Queen

Everyone meets Chloé’s mom and wants to commit a murder.

Seriously they’re all like ‘no wonder you’re the way you are but also fuck her!’.

Adrien still gets glittered, though it’s less of a problem.

The Heroes take Style Queen down fairly well.

Queen Wasp

Audrey is still the worst.

When Chloé starts to hit her breakdown and almost reveals her identity, both Adrien and Marinette tackle her and stop her, dragging her off under disguise of ‘yeah no I think we’re going over here!’

Chloé finds out that they both know, and while she’s annoyed that they figured her out, she is kinda grateful they kept her from fucking up.

They all have a talk and help Chloé begin to see how horrible her mom is and that she doesn’t need her approval.

No akumatization actually happens

Malediktator

So like my other fics that focus on this, Chloé’s dad is still attempting to fix this whole mess and he gets Akumatized.

This is when we bring in Dragon!Adrien because letting the boy go lightning is the best way to deal with this.

He also keeps his Miraculous because fuck you.

Catalyst

Pretty similar, though Lila doesn’t have her Volpina powers. Or maybe she does? Hawkmoth could totally make her an Illusionist this time even if he didn’t the first time.

Either way, a fake event of the Heroes being defeated that causes despair and all that. Everyone shows up to fight.

Some of the despair is negated by the Team linking into the Miracublog to assure people that it was fake and just the work of an Akuma

Mayura

No one gets taken down in the fight. Rena and Carapace have the battle couple dynamic down, so they wouldn’t get taken out by the other being hit. Hawkmoth doesn’t know Chloé’s identity, and Mari and Adrien are too sunshine-y to be Akumatized over this fight.

The rest of the battle is pretty much the same though.

Season 3:

 Backwarder

Like other rewrites of this episode, there isn’t any romance drama to cause the letter mixup, so the actual Akumatization happens differently.

Everything else is probably the same.

Weredad

God I don’t even know. ‘Chat Noir’ isn’t a thing, we don’t have identity drama. Maybe it’s a thing of Mari’s parents find her interacting with Dragon!Adrien and get a little protective because ‘back off she has a bf!’

I’m not sure.

Chameleon

The five all know Lila is a trick ass bitch.

some gave her the benefit of the doubt on her other lies, as she couldn’t possibly be lying about everything

But Alya and Nino are looking into things themselves and listening when Mari says things like “Jagged Stone has a crocodile, not a kitten’

Without Alya’s support, Lila’s sway over the class isn’t as strong, but the girl is good at manipulating the crowd.

She frames Mari’s issues as jealousy, of course. ‘Apologizing’ for what happened before because she ‘totally didn’t know Adrien was dating someone!’, and this is just Mari being a jerk over that.

She also frames Alya’s thing as jealousy over the Miracublog. Because ‘You might be the best news source, but you’re not the Hero’s BFFs like I am!’.

They do get to counter with what Lila did in the Volpina episode, lying about being a Hero to impress Adrien.

It’s kinda brushed off as ‘yeah that’s shitty but she’s sorry and it’s not like that means she’s lying about everything!’

Lila thinks she can win over Adrien and Alya, and they’re the most ‘useful’ to her. So she focuses on trying to ruin both Marinette and Nino, with an extra focus on breaking up Adrienette and DJWifi. She also thinks ruining Chloé will be easy due to her reputation.

She doesn’t do the one-on-one confrontation though, so no one really knows how much of a threat she is. The crew decides to just deal with her as time goes on.

Animaestro

I know I save the copyright violations plot for Lady Luck but I can’t resist! So yeah the movie team didn’t get the Heroes’ permission to make a movie and Chloé is giving the legal smackdown.

While Adrien was a voice in the movie, he didn’t play one of the Trio as he couldn’t really do any of them properly

He does end up voicing himself in a way though. Because the Movie Crew had to make up OCs to be the ‘Civilian Rena, Carapace, and QB’. Adrien voiced ‘Civilian QB’s brother’ who happened to be dating ‘civilian Rena’s best friend’, both of which were hinted at becoming the Dragon and Snake in the sequel that will never happen.

The Team is a little concerned with how close to home those OCs are.

Marinette and Kagami are friends so no sabotage!

Speaking of, Mari was invited as Adrien’s date instead of her helping her parents. Though she does still help a little.

Bakerix

Mostly the same.

Silencer

Mostly the same except for the lack of Lukanette.

Oblivio

I already said that the team can get Akumatized, so this Akuma still happens.

Also we’re all in agreement that ‘Super Penguino’ is an innuendo, right?

Chloé is real glad that Mari and Adrien were given their Miraculous permanently because she really does not want to be doing this on her own.

There’s still cute Adreinette memory loss moments.

Stormy Weather 2

Like other ‘Chloé is nicer’ fics, she didn’t cause this. It’s the same otherwise.

Reflektdoll

As Adrienette has already sailed, that’s not a factor. It’s all Juleka’s anxiety.

I want the Kwamiswap to still happen though, but let’s make it a full shuffle? Bee!Alya, Dragon!Chloé, Snake!Adrien(though something cooler than Aspik), Turtle!Marinette and Fox!Nino.

Oni-Chan

This is where they start to realize that Lila is a threat. Because the things of Adrien trying to be nice and her trying to lie her way into his room happen.

Nathalie isn’t fooled, as she and Gabriel are like ‘no bitch you kidnaped him and dangled him from the Eiffel tower. Sure you were Akumatized but we know you were in control for that because we would’ve stopped you if we could’ve.’

Lila still does the kiss selfie thing and that pisses Adrien off for so many reasons.

Kagami isn’t jealous, it’s a ‘you’re making my friend uncomfortable and also he has a gf you absolute thot!’.

The Team all sees Lila’s dangerous side as she messes with the fight.

Side note: While Carapace was the one to call her out originally, she hates all the Heroes equally because Rena and QB supported him and called her out again.

Miraculer

Since no one know Chloé’s identity, this would probably get entirely rewritten.

Not sure how it’ll go but probably Lila being a fuck

Puppeteer 2

The statue prank is less cringe but other than that it’s mostly the same.

Desperada

Since they already have the Snake on the Team, either this is where they get a different Hero, or they just skip it altogether.

If they did choose someone here, it wouldn’t be Luka as the main three don’t know him well enough.

Startrain

Pretty much the same, though Alya and Nino know to take Chloé seriously when she tells them there’s a Butterfly on board.

Also Alya doesn’t stand for Lila trying to interrupt the Adrienette nap.

Kwamibuster

Mostly the same. Though all five sneak out and get backup Miraculous to fight.

No identity shenanigans though.

Feast

Alya doesn’t post the video, and instead shows it to Master Fu herself.

Everything else goes pretty similar.

Ikari Gozen

Marinette and Kagami friendship!

They don’t think to give Kagami a Miraculous, and just help her out and then take down Ikari Gozen

Timetagger

Mostly the same, tbh.

Party Crasher

Mostly the same, though when Mari finds out what the boys are doing she texts the girls and they all yell at them.

They would’ve found out anyway when Alya and Mari showed up to the fight.

Gamer 2.0

Mostly the same.

Chat Blanc

Well you can’t have ‘Chat Blanc’ without ‘Chat Noir’ so scratch that.

Mari and Adrien have already been together for a while and Gabriel is not being a fuck by trying to break them up because tbh you can pry the ‘Hello, future daughter-in-law’ thing from my cold, dead hands.

Also if you want me to believe in Hawkmoth Akumatizing Adrien, you either need to show a lot more sanity slippage over time, or you need to have both Gabriel and Adrien be in a situation where they’re furious about something but can’t deal with it through normal means, so the Akuma is a way to try and help.

Idk what to do here

Felix

As much as I want to replace Canon!Felix with PV/Fanon!Felix, let’s keep Canon for now.

The setup is the same. Felix visits and decides to cause problems on purpose.

However, when he pretends to be Adrien, there’s two reasons why the main crew don’t believe it

First, is that they know Adrien really well, and he wouldn’t do that. Mari especially knows Adrien well and is pinpointing all the minor differences in how Felix acts.

The second, is that Felix isn’t wearing a fake Miraculous. He noticed Adrien’s new necklace, but as he didn’t have time to buy a fake he went without and figured it wasn’t that important.

But Mari, Nino, Alya and Chloé know that Adrien would never take it off because it’s a Miraculous.

So they manage to convince the friends that it must be a fake or something. But the trio ends up Akumatized anyway because ‘how dare someone try to trick us into hating Adrien!!’

Ladybug

Lila is still a fuck

She goes for ruining Mari, Nino and Chloé socially instead of getting any of them expelled(She’d do that after their reputation tanks). And she’s been working on this for a while.

She’d been subtle, making up things about them being jerks to her in private, and playing the victim whenever they call her out on her shit.

The class is hesitant to believe Mari and Nino could be that mean, but, well, Lila surely can’t be lying, right? And they have been hanging out with Chloé…

Of course they mostly believe Chloé would be mean, despite her recent strides in not being a dick.

Lila’s even been telling Alya and Adrien this stuff, pretending to be asking them to reign in their respective partner. Alya and Adrien don’t fall for it though, but don’t quite call her out on it.

Today was supposed to be a finishing blow, trying to convince the class that Marinette and Nino had been cheating on their respective partner with each other.

Alya and Adrien fight back because they know Lila’s a fuck

They ask Lila for specific dates, and Mari and Nino actually have an alibi for any time she says.

Either Mari was with Adrien, or Nino was with Alya, or there was a double date, or at least one of them was seen elsewhere.

They slam her with the whole thing and turn it around on her because bruh what the fuck

The classmates are on the fence. Because yeah, it doesn’t sound in-character for Marinette and Nino. But at the same time, would Lila really make up a lie about seeing them together?

It doesn’t ruin them completely, but it does damage their rep a little.

Hawkmoth tries to do the Scarlet Moth thing, but tbh between the fact that Mari is targeted(because he has an attachment to her in this AU) and Nathalie getting sick half-way through, he stops.

Not sure exactly what Mayura would make for a Sentimonster. There’s three main Heroes to choose from, plus the bonus Snake!Mari and Dragon!Adrien, so there isn’t one option to make a Sentimonster out of.

Either way it doesn’t work because of my favorite trope: “He calls me Riza when we’re alone!”.

Loveater/Miracle Queen

As Chloé’s identity isn’t a thing, this will have to be hella rewritten and tbh it’s 1:30 am so fuck it I don’t have the energy.

[goji-pilled]

I'm rewatching Reflekdoll,again,and tbh I can say for sure this is by far my favourite episode ever.Here some thoughts since I'm a little late to that party lol

-The talk between Chat and Ladybug is like this mix of friendly teasing and joking and a very serious topic (at least that's how I see it lol)But honestly the parts I love so much come after that so skip that

-Juleka and Luka sibling moment.I mean we finally got to see what their realtionship is like and I couldn't be more happy with what we saw.Luka engouraging and supporting his sister and her dreams?Fuck yes that's some really good content

-What else I like about this scene is that I can personally relate to Juleka a lot,not only in Reflekdoll but also in Reflekta.The fact that she didn't want to bother Marinette or how insecure she is is something I did/said/felt too (or well still do/say/feel)Like this feeling that you're all alone,that noone cares or notices you?That hurts,a lot.And it's something I know all to well.And honestly it's super important to show children that these feelings exist because it might help someone

-Juleka not being able to handle a compliment?Yep,absolutely relateable.I swear I'm going to protect Juleka 'till the very end

-Alrighty this is the part that makes me slighty salty:Alya pushing Marinette into things that clearly make her uncomftable.I mean yes she means well and want to help her best friend but seriously,pushing her like this and forcing her into uncomftable situations with Adrien is the absolute wrong way to do it and the girl just doesn't seem to get that.Fucking hell Marinette pretty much begged Alya to not invite Adrien but she is just like "Fuck it!" and disrespects Marinette's wish.

-After 'Ladybug and the Miracubros' we present to you:'Adrien and the Girlsquad'

-Juleka getting more nervous untill it's an actual panic attack.Again I can relate a lot to this,even though I wouldn't say that I have panic attacks.It's more this feeling of becoming so nervous that it feels like you have a knot in your stomach,your throat is dry,you feel super uncomftable and all of the sudden your thoughts are worst case scenarios;"What if I mess up?","What if I'm not good enough?","What if they laugh at me or hate me?",etc.I have these thoughts more often than I like to admit since I was 6/7 years old.It just makes me kinda happy that a show for children shows this topic

-Marinette trying to comfort Juleka is something I loved too.Like Marinette is very understanding here and tries to help Juleka calm down which shows us a bit of their friendship and I just really apprechiate that

-And Alya is at her bullshit again dear god.Honestly Alya sees that Juleka is having a panic attack and all she thinks about is getting Adrien and Marinette together.It's just wrong on so many levels.Not only does she keep disrespecting Marinette but she also head on ignores Julekas situation,which is rude and disrespectful.Like seriously that's so not okay and she should've been called out for that.

-Adrien sweetie thanks for trying.It's good to see that he wants to help Juleka in this situation.

-ALYA GODDAMNIT.And again she is being pushy.Yes Marinette said she's gonna do it herself but in a way where you can tell she wanted to help Juleka and remove the pressure,plus Marinette never said she would never consider Juleka as a model again so there is that!But of course a certain Blogger had to be pushy and forceful about it again.And Adrien didn't even want to model,he just wanted to help.Oh god the way Alya told Juleka to give her suit to Marinette is just...no.Juleka is upset and honestly does Alya notice?No.And Marinette's clearly uncomftable oh god why.

Alya:"I care about all my friends equally!"

Alya:"Adrien!"

Alya:"Marinette!"

Alya reading something from her arm:"And uh...Julia?"

Honestly I could go on with this but let's refocus on the positive stuff.

-How the fuck does noone hear or see Adrien and Marinettd talk with Tikki and Plagg????

-Adrien and Marinette in that Partnerlook just expanded my lifespan for 100 years

-"He's too hot-I mean I'm overheating inhere don't you????"

Mari please you need to calm down oh god please someone save the poor girl-

-Julerose.Julerose.JULEROSE.I swear everytime Juleka and Rose interact my hesrt bursts.Also thank god for Rose and Marinette,it's these two who try to help Juleka (just like in Reflekta).Also Juleka bot wanting to bother others with her feelings?Yes hello I'd like to say that this situation is relatable.

-That soft look Juleka gave Rose after Rose kissed her cheek is just...so adorable and it shows how much Juleka loves Rose

-God Juleka talking herself down?Almost crying and super upset by herself?Probably even hating herself?Yep again,this is all too familiar to me and it feels so good to have a chrachter to relate too.

-"Yet again my young prey fails to be the center of attention."Your "young prey"???Seriously????Gabriel what the fuck-

-YEET THEM GLASSES

-No honestly Nathalie's transformation is so amazing.It's simple but in combination with the amazing theme this transformation is by far one of my favorites.I'd go as far as to say my second favourite transformation(Together with Luka's)

-I genuinly love the whole scene in the lair.I can't even tell you why because I don't know but I just love it.

-Them sending off an Akuma and an Amok?Loved it.

-Petition to let Gorilla adopt Adrien

-Also Gorilla is so soft for these kids

-I loved the scene of Juleka's akumatization.Like the purple maskoutline being a combination between Hawkmoth's and Mayura's looks so fucking cool

-Reflekta is back bitches!Honestly Reflekta has always been one of my favourite akumas and I'm happy seeing her again!Also her design is so fucking amazing holy shit

-I'm not fan of Miraculous' english dub but Juleka's voice actress is amazing.Lots of love to her.

-"I'm gonna show you what it feels like to be me!"Honestly that's such a great line on many diffrent levels.Not only does she say it because she's a villain right now but because she obviously has some kind of selfdisliking and ugh can you make Reflekta even more relatable too?

-"Juleka is no more,I'm Reflekta!Everyone always forgets about Juleka anyway..."Honestly this is again a pretty deep line and it shows more of her emotions...And I can relate to certain dagree.It feels like people just forget about you,that you're not important,don't matter,sometimes you want to be someone else so badly...Honestly Juleka truly is one of my favourite characters

-Reflekta turning Marinette into a Reflekta and saying:"Perhaps you'll understand me better now that you're in MY shoes!"It's another line that shows how Juleka(or at this moment Reflekta) feels.She feels misunderstood and wow same here haha...

-Tikki and Plagg's interaction earlier was great and Plagg reassuring Tikki is so adorable.Honestly these two need more screentime together

-"Rose!Where are you my BFF!"Juleka has the 'She's just a friend' desease,we all know what people in this show mean when they say:"She's just a friend".And since she said BFF they're probably married

-Plagg calling for Chat Noir and then almost casually telling Marinette his identity is gold.

-Honestly all Plagg/Marinette interactions are gold.I love this chaos duo.They are the best part about Kwami swap AUs.Also Plagg looks and sounds so soft when talking to Marinette I love them

-Marinette taking the ring like:"Fuck it"

-I love the detail that the Miraculous changes to it's wielder

-LADY NOIR TRANSFORMATION.I absolutly loved everything about it and it's my favourite transformation with Roi Singe's

-Lady Noir is giving me gay thoughts

-Lady Noir said fuck Reflekdoll rights

-Tikki is just like:"Oh god no the choas duo finally found eachother-"

-Adrien not introducing himself,rude.

-Adrien taking the earings:"Fuck it I always wanted to do this"

-MISTERBUG TRANSFORMATION.I love his transformation so much,he's an adorable Bugboy.Honestly his version of the Ladybug theme sounds so great holy shit

-Adrien sweetie why do you have a Reflekta head agi-oh never mind it's gone

-Hot take:Marinette does the Black Cat transformation better than Adrien,while Adrien does the Ladybug transformation better

-"M'lady Noir" I love it

-Adrien did the Orgins-Ladybug move with that yo-yo

-Lady Noir helping Misterbug out even though she sounds a bit rude gives me life

-The Lucky Charm scene is amazing I love it,them arguening and teasing like a married couple god just kiss already you dumbasses

-Again Marinette is explaining how the Lucky Charm works even though she may sound a little harsh she means well but she didn't have to hit him.......well it was funny...haha

-"Why don't you help me instead of making fun of me?!"...Adrien...she explained you the lucky charm the whole time...she tried helping you and teased you....you pun and tease her all the time...your still an adorable bugboy and I love you

-Marinette is so extra when summoning her cataclysm...I love it.Though she could've thought about the idea of cataclysming a sentimonster a bit longer...she's still a queen and I love her

-Adrien getting to explain cataclysming a sentmoster is a nice contrast to her explaing the lucky charm

-That wink Lady Noir gave Misterbug that just gave me a lot of life

-Reflekta is the first Akuma to ask for help nakwsnkwwk

-And again she helped him by reminding him to catch the akuma in a teasing tone

-Idk why but Adrien catching an Akuma and saying Marinette's catchphrases was so awesome

-Adrien admitting and understanding why LB never jokes around is some character developement we stan!Untill the writers decide to take that way that is but y'know

-Marinette admitting that she's happy to have a little less responsibilty for once hurts my heart like the girl has so much responsibilty and stress an in the end it always depends on her to fix thing and she just needs a break and a hug...

-Them working our a plan was great.It showed how well they work together and just ugh,kiss already you idiots!

-Gabriel goddamnit why are you letting her use the damn Miraculous god jesus

-Dusuu is absolutely adorable and I love her

-oh...rip Nathalie

-Oh the reunion with their kwamis was so sweet holy cow my heart is gonna explode

-And here I go again becoming salty,like Marinette should not have been the one to apolagize.It should have been Alya,to both Juleka and Marinette.Alya way the one being rude,pushy,disrespecrful ans inconsidered.But oh well of course it's always Mari's fault...

-Adrien and Girlsquad are the Brotp

Anyway overall I love Reflekdoll so much.It absolutely is my favourite episode.From Juleka/Luka sibling moment,being able to relate so strongly to Juleka,Mayura's transformation,the Kwami swap untill the end I loved the episode,despite being salty here and their but you can't expect me to watch a mlb episode and not be salty

[scige-alt]

LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that saige beaumont i see? the 21 year old criminal psychology / linguistics student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be blithe, energetic, evasive and irrational, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

snjdfg these took so long i’m so sorry but anyways please LIKE and i’ll slide into yr IMs for plots !!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[4x0hxnxroll]

—    BASICS :      EMILY  DAVIS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? :      Emily is on the shorter end of the spectrum. Without shoes, she stands at a measly 5′1″.  Depending on stilettos/boots she can range anywhere from 5′1″ -  5′6″. 

▸   ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? :     Absolutely NOT. When she was younger, (Age 5-9), Emily dreamed of being a model when she grew up. A lot of her time as a child was spent shopping with her mother. Playing dress-up. Studying expensive brands/labels/designers. & Watching America's Next Top Model. (& Canada's Next Top Model). Her mother is young, & pretty, & skinny, & TALL, & blonde. (Albeit bottle blonde). She was everything Emily aspired to be when she got older. Around age 13 she realized just how ILLOGICAL & IDEALISTIC that dream was.

▸  WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? :     Short/Medium length. Black. Thin. Super soft. Naturally straight, but she still straightens it. Professionally cut.

▸ DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ? :     YES 100% --- Almost every waking moment of the day for Emily is spent worrying about her physical appearance. She has a morning routine that involves a LONG shower/bath, thoroughly brushing her teeth & using whitening strips, & then a MINIMUM of 2 hours on hair & makeup. Her nighttime routine includes a skin-care face mask, preparing her outfit for the next day, removing her makeup, touching up her nails, & brushing her teeth again. She also gets manicures biweekly & a Brazilian wax every month.

▸  DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? :     Her appearance is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to her. Followed closely by her grades/intelligence. & The only thing that makes it higher on the list, IS how much she CARES about what others think of her looks --- It requires a lot more EFFORT to keep up. Intelligence comes EASIER for her. Girl has a near-genius level IQ. & Her father’s vigorous (& brutal) study-sessions have kept her on top of her game. Also helps that most of her friends are IDIOTS (In her opinion) & she’s never met someone smarter than her. She’s met hundreds of people prettier than her. (Again in her opinion) & She genuinely finds herself UNATTRACTIVE. 

—    PREFERENCES.

INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ? ▸ Indoors. Air-conditioned. With electricity. & No bugs. Or creepy critters of any kind. Emily doesn’t like nature. & She’s disgusted by bugs --- So better be prepared for a lot of complaining if you wanna go camping with her or some shit lol.

RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ? ▸ Sunshine. California is her favorite place in the world.

FOREST    OR    BEACH ? ▸ Beach. She doesn’t usually swim, though. Just lazes around & sunbathes. 

PRECIOUS    METALS     OR    GEMS ? ▸ Gems. Bigger/more expensive, the better.

FLOWERS   OR   PERFUMES ? ▸ Perfume. CHANEL.  

PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ? ▸ Personality. Especially Post;Game. She’s done with friendships based in shallowness. That said, she’ll ALWAYS appreciate (& envy) a physically attractive human. 

BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ? ▸ Depends on the day & the crowd. Pre;Game - Crowds. Post;Game - Alone. 

ORDER   OR    ANARCHY ? ▸ Order. 

PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR     WHITE    LIES ? ▸ Painful Truths. Don’t lie to her. Period.

SCIENCE   OR    MAGIC ? ▸ Science. (She doesn’t believe in magic & thinks it’s stupid).

PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ? ▸ Peace. (Conflict does follow her though, considering her personality).

NIGHT    OR    DAY ? ▸ Night.

DUSK    OR    DAWN ? ▸ Dawn. lol.

WARMTH    OR    COLD ? ▸ Warmth.

MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW   CLOSE   FRIENDS ? ▸ Pre;Game - Many Acquaintances. Post;Game - She just wants ONE real friend/Significant other tbh. She’s pretty sick of people.

READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ? Reading.

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? :     That’s gonna be a long list lol. I’d say her WORST habit is projection & displaced aggression. Other bad habits include; Drinking, swearing, no censor/ability to lie for other people’s sake, complaining, whining, being materialistic, selfish, avoiding food/skipping meals out of fear she will get fat, scratching her arms, emotional shopping, craving validation, obsessively checking her phone, talking to herself, setting impossible expectations for herself & others, compulsively checking her makeup/clothes, interrupting people, running on empty, & probably a lot more tbh.

▸   HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED THEM ? :     I usually default to Emily being sole-survivor of Until Dawn, so she loses EVERYONE in that case. However, regardless of if everyone survives, or not, she loses Hannah & Beth & comes out of the events of Blackwood Mountain ALONE. She has severe PTSD from it & a lot of emotional baggage. Though, she thinks it is illogical & a waste of time to dwell on it. (Her father’s words) & So she spends most of her time trying to bury & suppress it.

▸   WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ? :      Honestly? She doesn’t have a lot of fond memories. Most of her best times in life have been tainted by BETRAYAL. A lot of her funnest moments in High School involved Mike or Jess & well, yeah. & Anything with her mother before the age of 12 has been tarnished by how the woman started treating her after those years. Most of her best “memories” would be THINGS she bought probably. (Or things bought for her). 

▸   IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? :     No. It’s not necessarily a moral dilemma for her, but she would prefer to keep people alive at all costs. Depending on situation she could be swayed if they were A THREAT. But, she’d still usually prefer to just capture/tie up someone/turn them into the police > murder. (If possible). That said, if she’s been PERSONALLY BETRAYED by the individual, she will HAPPILY leave them to die/put them in harms way > herself at least.

▸   WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ? :     Pure unadulterated RAGE. She won’t physically attack someone, unless they are to blame & approach her, then she will slap them silly. (Via Ashley in the bite scene). But she WILL become hostile & pick them apart. Usually, when it gets this bad, Emily just tries to TAKE SPACE for herself & AVOID PEOPLE. For the sake of everyone. If she’s in a relationship with someone & gets emotional, she’ll lock herself in the bathroom & sit in the corner of the shower & just CRY under the water. (She also does this at home when her dad makes her feel worthless). It would take someone she is VERY COMFORTABLE WITH/TRUSTS to cry in front of them, or allow them to comfort her.

▸  IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF  TRUSTING  SOMEONE WITH  THEIR LIFE ? :     She’ll usually require proof. Even if she says she trusts someone with her life. Especially Post;Game since Matt left her to die & Mike almost killed her. (For my Emily). She’d want to see ACTION. Not just WORDS.

▸ WHAT’S  YOUR  MUSE  LIKE  WHEN  THEY’RE  IN LOVE ? :     Canonically, I don’t think Emily has ever been in TRUE LOVE. Though, she thinks her relationship with Michael was love. That said, she’s EMOTIONALLY INEPT. & While she craves affection, she’s also very guarded & scared of it. I think at first she’d probably try to buy them lots of stuff & hope that it showed how much she cared. She’d also take interest in their THINGS. Say, if they had a favorite band, she’d buy them VIP tickets to see them/meet them. (Even if she hates their music). Eventually, she’d grow to feel comfortable with cuddling/hand-holding etc. But it would TAKE TIME. 

TAGGED  BY : @judesowndaughter​ (Thanks! :)) Really loved reading yours <3)

TAGGING : Just steal it y’all. 

[scige-archive]

LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE. — saige beaumont is really making a name for themselves as a sheep. i think that she is studying criminal psychology + linguistics in their junior year at lockwood, living in alpha nu. originally from thibodaux, louisiana, saige is known to be blithe & energetic, but can also be evasive & irrational. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

hi !! this is mostly just a repost, but there has been added information to her biography section, as well as her connections to the victims. i’m excited to continue rping with u all !!!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: firstly when aren’t my babies bi as FUCK but she also prefers masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

and while too afraid to visit the victim & their family, every month since the conviction of the others involved - she’ll visit one of them in particular. it’s been three years and saige has shown no sign of stopping.

during her last visit, he had sent her on a scavenger hunt resulting in her breaking into his brother’s (& his, technically) home and finding a second iPhone - one she had no idea he had, one with the watershed app installed. their intentions was for saige to be able to access the app - but his shepherd access had been revoked, and the phone had already been wiped clean. regardless, saige took it back to rochester with her.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / saige & tatiana met when they were freshmen and junior, respectively. they quickly became friends - mostly seen together at parties, where they’d encourage each other to do more, more, more. their friendship was ended after they’d taken a friend’s car on a joyride and wound up crashing it off of a back road. saige freaked out about it & tatiana ... did not. as a result of their very different reactions, and saige’s fear of landing in the news, they cut ties.

george craig iii / saige had met george after bringing tatiana back to her dorm one night where they accidentally crossed paths. one thing led to another and they wound up sleeping together. it hadn’t meant to be a thing at all, but there had been two other incidents of them ‘accidentally crossing paths’ before his disappearance.

hana williams / for the two of them to not be friends would be, frankly - weird, due to their similar friendly personalities. they got along well, but weren’t the closest pair.

christoph wainwright / they had hooked up numerous times before without issue, but christoph’s jealous yet emotionally unavailable personality & saige’s own conflicted feelings had resulted in a huge fight, which led to their falling out - which led to them quickly becoming enemies, instead.

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[scigebabadook]

cisfemale — ever hear people say SAIGE BORDEAUX looks a lot like LIANA LIBERATO? I think SHE is about 20, so it doesn’t really work. The LINGUISTICS + CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major is a SOPHOMORE that is from ALL OVER THE PLACE. They can be BLITHE, but they can also be EVASIVE. I think SAIGE might be a SHEEP. They are living in BALTA. ( snot goblin. 20. EST. she/they. )

hello ,,, it seems i am a sheep and Refuse to leave the herd. aka i love u all so frickin’ much ,,, and w/o further ado, here is saige !! pleathe LIKE this so i can shimmy into yr ims !!

TW: drug use, alcoholism, implied abuse ? shitty parents at the very least, addiction

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette bordeaux

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 20 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: firstly when aren’t my babies bi as FUCK but she also prefers masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert bordeaux, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of living, next thing she knew, she was a student at gifford university in a town she’d never been to before.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just ... pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just ... people where their like ... relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x19 Reaction / Commentary

I didn't even skip breakfast today, it's almost as if I'm a real functioning adult ahahaha.

SDFALFJSKLDFJASDF I'M ALREADY A MESS

Ngl those first few shots made me think I had fallen headfirst into a zombie apocalypse movie. Wind swooshing through the speakers, no living soul in sight, no cars driving, just Magnus walking along the street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams hahahahaha sorry I'll stop.

Wow what a jerk.

There's been so many hilarious jokes about the “What fool summoned you” line, and my favorite one will forever remain this.

So, points to Magnus for asking, minus points for buying this shit not-sound-at-all story. Even “fatherly love” can't just screw the laws of nature, okay, Magnus shouldn't just skim over this. Then again I can definitely cut him slack on this because he is a little preoccupied with other problems at the moment.

Listen, Magnus's body language throughout this whole scene (and also throughout the sneak peek we saw for 3x20) is so expressive. Imma skim over it because I plan to do a thorough Relationship / Scene Analysis for Magnus and Asmodeus, so let me just leave this picture here uncommented.

No wait, I have a question. Isn't Magnus's magic occupied with guarding Lilith's home? Did Asmodeus pick it up before summoning himself or did he call it just now? Also, does Asmodeus know that Lilith is on the loose? Then again, is she even? Because no Shadowhunter can be bothered to look for her and she did say that she wanted to go back to Edom... but that was probably a lie to get Cain to cooperate. And how could she even send herself back to Edom? So many questions. Anyway moving on because who cares about Lilith.

Magnus's face when he gets his magic back. ....................yes I have no witty words here, sorry.

Lol okay I have. I love this scene, I absolutely LOVE Magnus's face and how expressive it is, but I've also been dreaming of an epic eye-sparkling, energy-crackling mid-battle-scene where Magnus regains his magic for uhhhh almost a year now, and in terms of dramatic-ness this was pretty anti-climactic. And I think we can agree he won't lose his magic again and then get it back in a more dramatic fashion. Also where are his cat eyes I feel cheated.

I mean, come on, even he gets to show them!! Btw what a dick cunning move to use them to manipulate Magnus. Since they made a compelling argument the first time around.

Also LOL Asmodeus playing nice for one second and when Magnus denies him he immediately shows his hand with “I won't take no for an answer.” Man has no patience XD

Finally I wanna give a huge HUGE shout out to Magnus for resisting Asmodeus becuase can you even imagine how low he must be feeling and yet he has enough presence of mind left to realize that whatever comfort Asmodeus offers can't be true, there must be a hook and it's best to stay away. Dude what strength.

“I only lost sight of her for a minute.” “Enough time for the Evil Rune to have taken hold.”

Uuuhhhh since when?? Did they also go to the bathroom together before?? Did I miss that?? I mean, sure, Clary was drifting sometimes, but she spent a whole half episode in the same cell as Jonathan with Jace “away” behind the glass wall and out of her sight, so...... yeah. This is a little sudden.

She keeps saying that but we have yet to see her actually filter anything. #nofilter

“No one can hurt us if we get to Morning Star first. And once we have that sword the entire world will be terrified of us....”

So he wants that evil sword not to open a rift but to keep the NY Shadowhunters off his back so he can live his life in peace. I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.

Yes, good. Finally learned your lesson.

.............Or not??? I mean it's not like Clary pretended to be on his side before, to lull him into a false security and gain the upper hand. Why would he fall for it now? Because he acts like Jace is the only risk factor here, and Clary is of course truly and wholly on his side. I mean, true, the circumstances are different since she freed him and all, but like. Guy must have trust issues by now. Where are they.

Also

he should start a self help group with Alec hahahahahaha *weeping*

Me, waiting for the next episode of Shadowhunters. (Also I just noticed Simon says “me neither” not “mine neither” so it sounds as if he's not Izzy's thing, either and LOL I couldn't agree more ahahaha.)

Uh-huh, I agree. Perfect timing. I mean, it's not like there was a glaring 98% there earlier, and as if he didn't have plenty of time before to bring this unfortunate line of conversation up. This is on you, Simon. Don't blame the filtering.

HAHAHA ASK ALEC, HE'S GOING TO THROW IT AT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though. Just, uh, crush it into powder, add some saline solution, done. And I'm not even a scientist. This is intuitive. The heck.

I'm 1000000% on board with all of this, okay. Over excited Alec is the best Alec. Handholding is the best. Magnus's weariness of surprises is headcanon confirmed. Yes to all of it.

So there were a few lines that were widely interpreted as allusions to their kinky sex life and tbh I never bought any of it because I thought it was seeing too much where there was nothing, but this is so very obviously meant in a kinky way that I'll accept it. Another headcanon confirmed ahahaha this episode is so generous to me.

Ugh I'm so gonna have to write something about that. And knowing myself, it'll be sad closeted Alec daydreaming of all the things he can never have.

Question time, what are those weird rivets thingies? Do they hold any meaning? Is their placement of importance? Because they look very deliberate and very there. I'm confused.

Also, this scene was designed to drive me crazy. There's 7 different shots where we see the lock's placement and there are no less than 3 (!!!!!) different placements. Placement #1, #3 and #5 are consistent (though really, #1 and #5 shouldn't even count because they are clearly the same shot, just with Magnus's hand reaching for the lock) on the left side of the yellow lock, to the bottom left of the Dips lock.

Then we see Alec placing it in an empty compartment at the very edge of the construction (placement #2), only for it to be on the compartment below that in the next shot (placement #4), sharing space with a little gray-blueish lock. This is the same place from where Magnus removes it then (placement #6).

I hate inconsistencies, okay, and I really did notice all this the first time watching. I can't not-see stuff like this. The only fun that comes out this detail obsessiveness is the lock that clearly ships Captain America and Captain Marvel (left) and the lock that was placed from two years in the future (right) because ahahahaha did the show forget it takes place in 2016?? It would seem so.

And yes, I chose to focus on this instead of the fact that Magnus incinerates their lock because that hurts my heart too much to think about, okay. That scene was perfect, the music swelling in all the right places and just. So heart-wrenching. I might've teared up a little. You can't prove anything.

Why she not removing those paper thingies? Seems impractical.

Paint on face trope? Check.

Yeah Raphael, lemme pay you some respect for facing your mistakes like that. I like it a lot.

Istg if they don't give him GPS this time and just rely on the tracking rune again, which Jonathan and Clary will insist he blocks, then imma flip my shit.

.......................so many fanfics want to be written here, okay. So many.

Also is no one gonna talk about the fact that they all put the ring on the pointer when that's not the intuitive position to place a ring? For security reasons alone you should put it on your middle finger so it doesn't accidentally slip off. Oh right, I forgot. Magic ring.

I love how Alec's voice wavers and you just know he sends Jace away because he'll start crying if he doesn't (even if in this screen cap Alec looks weirdly happy). Btw headcanon that Jace didn't realize something was up at first and was only tipped off when Izzy asked earlier if Alec was okay, and then he prodded at the parabatai connection and realized... there was nothing. Just a solid wall of nothing, because Alec's been sealing off his feelings completely.

1) Wow, Simon, your condolences are amazing. 2) Please, explain? Is she in a coma? Walking around as if she'd had a lobotomy?? But whatever, just skim over this, she's a minor character anyway and nobody cares about her *shrug*

This is the LAZIEST plot convenience I ever had to see with my own two eyes. I really can't work up the energy to rage about this. Just, wtf. Then again, not calling ahead with vital information seems to be Luke's Thing, just remember the 3x15 disaster. At this point it might as well be considered a character trait of him and no longer plot convenience. *sigh* Also, Shadowhunters are major creeps, am I supposed to believe they don't have a few liters of all of their soldiers' blood stored away somewhere, for reasons?

Uh-huh, Izzy. And if you care to remember, that was about 20 episodes ago. And since vampires have a constant craving for blood they seem to have some kind of metabolic. If you want to tell me that Jace's blood is still IN Simon, then either a) he's been chipping away at the Jace-blood-stash he has hidden in his second gastric and if that runs out he'll no longer be a daylighter or b) Jace's blood went into Simon's cells and changed him on a molecular level..... in which case, to extract it they'd have to remove it, un-daylighter-ing Simon in the process. Or maybe just parts of him? Imagine if he was a daylighter except for his left arm or something. In any case, this is majorly ridiculous and I can't believe I have to suffer through this.

????????????? Who opened that portal? I mean, if he had to call on a warlock to get away, wouldn't it have been easiser for Izzy and Co. to stop him from running through that portal and make him donate some blood first? Instead of forcing this bullshit logic on me? Ugh. But I get it, this is necessary to justify a Sizzy scene. Whatever.

Hahahhahha.

Which means nothing, since Jace can activate his runes without his stele. Or did they forget that part again?? I mean, it's been half a season since he last did that.

“And if it wasn't for our connection I suspect you'd do it again.”

lolololol hilarious.

HAHHAHA WILL YOU STOP WITH THE HILARITY

Honestly, the way they all act I get the distinct feeling I'm watching an exasperated kindergartener and two particularly clingy toddlers vying for her attention XD

Uuuuhhhh yeah hit me with more Malec Flashbacks to make me feel shitty, why don't you.

Okay, consoled. Btw thanks for confirming another headcanon that between the two of them Magnus is the one easier swayed by puppy eyes.

HAHAHAHA of course my mind immediately interpreted that as a misguided pun about Magnus being a Prince of Edom hahahaa wtf Alec

Dammit, his eyes. You can really see how he's allowing himself to start dreaming about it.

Also, can't believe they had a kiddie talk with at least some seriousness, what, two months into their relationship?? Haha. And internally Madzie was like “Uh boring grown up talk, at least I got my sprinkles.”

See, this is what I have problems with. On the one hand, even with all his emotional turmoil going on, Magnus is still enough in his right mind not to fall for Asmodeus's sweet talking, but on the other hand he revisits all of those memories and doesn't realize Alec breaking up with him can't have been real? This doesn't really add up. Either he is out of his mind with emotions that he can't see this very very strange happening for being something fishy (then he shouldn’t have been able to so easily resist Asmodeus), or he's still level-headed enough not to be driven by emotions entirely (then he should have realized the breakup was fake).

toddler fight intensifies

I'M WHEEZING HAHAHAHAHAHAH R U FOR REAL. Also remember my statement from last week? Where I said “I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.” Turns out she's so much worse than Regular Clary XD

Lol Raphael is that still you talking or the Plot Point? Because ngl, when I saw that sneak peek promo thingy where Jordan eyes the dramatically last vial of serum in the Institute I immediately thought they want to cook up a conflict there, where he steals the last vial needed to help save Clary and bla bla bla. I really hope they don't go down that road because I feel he should be better than this by now. *sigh* In any case, while I enjoyed the first part of this plot line with Raphael coming here to make reparations, this feels really forced and convenient.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SIMON FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WTF I NEED ANSWERS

Wow can't believe they pulled this obvious and clearly unfitting parallel to Sizzy. I mean, Simon lost his glasses back in S1 and even before that Izzy noticed he was hot in like ep 2. She's been appreciating him as a friend since at least 2B if not sooner. So please don't pretend that she just didn't notice what a great guy he is, because she did. She knows he's someone you can count on, who's there when you need him, with advice or a joke or just to listen to you. She knows all this, and has for seasons. But, surprise surprise, you don't fall in love with everyone who's a great guy and a good friend. That is a thing. Friendships are a thing. Anyway, at least I can wholeheartedly agree that in any possible scenario Izzy is the hot girl XD

HAHAHA JACE THAT'S PAYBACK FOR ALL THOSE TIMES YOU INTERRUPTED MALEC HAHA KARMA IS A BITCH RIGHT

.......or just use glamors to look like Downworlders. Just saying.

Jonathan using the cuts to get a secretive chest grab in on Jace, but I know all those sleazy tricks and you can't slip that feel-up past me #busted

*weeping tears* yeah, and he'll never get the real deal. what a tragedy.

“...the Downworlder club. I think the runes front and center on my neck make a compelling argument, don't you agree?” Also the foreboding background music totally spoiled this 'twist.' (I'm using ''s because it was totally obvious this wouldn't work.)

Look I just love Alec, okay. I LOVE ALEC.

*waves hand* elite guard *waves hand some more* blue mark on his neck *smacks self in the face with waving hand* look i'm pretty sure Meliorn doesn't have a mark like this and he's like, the only Seelie that gets regular screen and talking time with the queen. But I'm way too behind schedule to start looking into it, I might edit something in here later (or never ahahaha).

OH DEAR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YES YES YES PLEASE

DUUUUDE WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM IDEAS WHAT THE HELL

Also, remembering that short sequence of Magnus shooting red magic at his temples from the promo doesn't bode too well for the rest of the episode. Dammit.

You had one job, Lindsay. One. Job. (Yes, please imagine the Loki Gif here. I just love him a lot, okay. Loki <3<3<3)

(^pls imagine her little disenchanted headshake because any screen caps I tried to take made her look drugged out of her mind lol.)

Yep, this is it. This is it.

Sooooo.... how exactly did they persuade the bouncer? Just curious.

HAHAHAAHAH duuuuuude hahahhaa.

........when exactly did Jonathan spy all that? I mean, I've been having questions about the pacing since that ep with the Baby Jonathan Flashbacks, because that manibus whatever demon? Referring to 2x05. So Jonathan only got to earth after that? Howwww? Not thanks to Valentine, right, since he didn't even know Jonathan existed until 2x15 where Jonathan intercepted him from his portal to Idris? And didn't they say Sebastian Verlac disappeared half a year ago?? How does that all match up?

In any case, I feel like the seelie queen suddenly having a warlock boy toy who she can't order into her realm and who she has monthly scheduled appointments with that the whole shadow world knows about is a) totally absurd b) pretty ooc for her and c) reeking of plot convenience. They just couldn't find a better excuse for her to be at a certain place at a certain time. They should have made her attend a fashion show, or hell, a gardening contest. Would have been more credible than whatever this is.

“I grab the queen. Clary portals the three of us away.” “The four of us, including the queen.”

HAHAHHAHAHHA I CAN'T XD XD XD #slightly consoled

WHEN THE HELL DID JONATHAN READ / WATCH THE SHINING ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WTF!!!!!

1) This doesn't work in real life. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to catch a snow flake or a raindrop this way? I know because I've tried, and the anwer is ages. 2) Seems a very uneconomical way to distrubute drugs. Whoever invented that business model must be in deep depts by now. 3) What kind of shitty plan was that on Jonathan's part? Get Jace on drugs, he'll surely expose himself to be a traitor? I hate the fact that it works. I hate that everyone's shitty plans always work (re: Sizzy's dilettantish prison infiltration) because that's why they all keep making shitty plans. Positive reinforcement and all that. The only one who always gets punched in the face for making okay-to-good plans is Alec, and that's why he's the overthinker. So unfair.

“Well this is awkward because I just stole it for you.”

So frakkin predictable. Also, how did he steal it from the table when Izzy and Simon where guarding it?? It clearly was still there when Maia left and like

Did Jordan just grab it and run? So many questions.

Don't get me wrong, that whole forging the sword sequence was super badass, but like, if you're wielding scorching hot metal it seems a little impractical to just wear security goggles and a leather apron. There were freaking sparks flying and Izzy ducked. What the hell. What about, idk, unconventional but, a protective suit?? And Simon isn't any better. “Oh, I could die from this sword? Just lemme hide behind this doorway real quick.” *sigh* One of these days a character should die because of dumbass behavior, maybe that'd teach them all a lesson.

Also, this is totally logic. They had a splinter from the original sword that they then made tons of serum from, which they saved 3 vials of..... and somehow this was still enough to forge a whole new frikking sword that's apparently just as powerful as the original one. I don't even know where to start with this bullshit.

.................dude, if you wanted to persuade her you should have pointed out the ring to her. But maybe this isn't about logic at all, this is about wanting to know if he is Clary's first choice without logic or reason, and that would make sense for his character, even if it's not the most sensible or productive course of action.

Me, during the fight scene: “Wow, I believe all that Seelie guard slaughtering is not going to end up in a Downworlder vs Shadowhunter war again..... ha..... hahahaha.”

Arguing with a possessed person. Again. Honestly this is the, uhhh, fifth time this happens on this show? And people just seem to never learn. SIGH

Yeah, by not following the plan and acting stupid, so my sympathy is pretty limited aka non-existent. Btw his slide across the Institute floor was hilarious. And also, pretty nice of Clary not to just kill him. This is the second time she's spared him. Interesting.

ISTG IF THIS SCENE ENDS WITH A CLIFFHANGER IF HE GOES THROUGH WITH IT OR NOT IMMA FLIP MY SHIT

*manic laughter* I love that this makes so much sense. Asmodeus needs Magnus's heartbreak so he'll be susceptible to Asmodeus's influence. So his motives are shitty. On the other hand it's not as if what Asmodeus says to Magnus isn't the truth. Fighting through this will make Magnus stronger, no doubt. Knowing he can be this low and still get back on his feet without running away and succumbing to the pain. And I'm glad, for obvious reasons, that Magnus didn't go through with the memory removal because ain't nobody got time for those issues. Mending the breakup in a satisfying was will be hard enough as is. Back to the scene at hand, I gotta say I love this about Asmodeus: He doesn't lie outright, he mostly lies by omission, and he speaks enough truth to really screw with everyone's perception. It's awesome. He is such a great antagonist and his dynamic with Magnus is highly fascinating.

Conclusion: Not enough Malec (seriously, their only scenes together are flashbacks? the frakkin audacity) but tbh I'm still too high on endorphines since the memory removal didn't happen that I'm mostly okay with it. And the Jonathan-Jace comedy was nice.