#absolutely no clue that rey exists just yet

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book Blurb: A young noblewoman must pair up with a rumoured witch to ward off a curse in this irresistible sapphic romance from the bestselling author of Boyfriend Material. It is the year 1814, and life for a young lady of good breeding has many difficulties. There are balls to attend, fashions to follow, marriages to consider, and, of course, the tiny complication of existing in a world swarming with fairy spirits, interfering deities, and actual straight-up sorcerers. Miss Maelys Mitchelmore finds her entry into high society hindered by an irritating curse. It begins innocuously enough with her dress slowly unmaking itself over the course of an evening at a high-profile ball, a scandal she narrowly manages to escape. However, as the curse progresses to more fatal proportions, Miss Mitchelmore must seek out aid, even if that means mixing with undesirable company. And there are few less desirable than Lady Georgianna Landrake—a brooding, alluring young woman sardonically nicknamed “the Duke of Annadale”—who may or may not have murdered her own father and brothers to inherit their fortune. If one is to believe the gossip, she might be some kind of malign enchantress. Then again, a malign enchantress might be exactly what Miss Mitchelmore needs. With the Duke’s help, Miss Mitchelmore delves into a world of angry gods and vindictive magic, keen to unmask the perpetrator of these otherworldly attacks. But Miss Mitchelmore’s reputation is not the only thing at risk in spending time with her new ally. For the reputed witch has her own secrets that may prove dangerous to Miss Mitchelmore’s heart—not to mention her life.

Review:

A young noblewoman is cursed and who better than to help her than an the beautiful and brooding witch who just always happens to save her in the nick of time? Miss Maelys Mitchelmore finds herself in a predicament, she is being cursed and she has no clue who is doing it. Then she runs into the brooding and mysterious Lady Georgianna Landranke, also known as the Duke of Annadale who may or may not have murdered her own father and brothers to inherit their fortune. Ever since meeting Georgianna, Maelys has been smitten and can’t help but want her, but Georgianna has all her own emotional baggage and is content to keep a very far distance from Maelys. Yet they are drawn to one another and Georgianna is the only person who can help Maelys break her curse. Yet in a world filled with angry gods and vindictive magic, the possibilities of who could be doing this to her are endless and with more life threatening things happening to her they’ll both have to figure out who is behind it before its too late. On top of that they’re going to have to work out their feelings for one another as despite Maelys intent to be with Georgianna, Georgianna has emotional baggage up to here and she definitely has her own brooding love interest issues. The story is told all through the narration from a third party fae. Unfortunately this one did not work for me, I absolutely adored the cover and thought the premise sounded right up my ally... yet the execution itself was lackluster and you really just don’t get the romance or the chemistry between the characters at all. The story felt a bit all over the place and I just found myself getting bored and falling asleep at certain points of reading this book. I really really wanted to like it but it just fell flat of my expectations unfortunately and having the narrator being the main POV just didn’t allow you to connect with the characters that much and it just did not work. While it didn’t work for me, if you are looking for a sapphic romance with a very classical-esque styled brooding love interest who has a ton of family baggage and emotional baggage, then this is right up your ally along with some magic!

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine, Del Rey for sending me an arc in exchange foe an honest review*

[msfbgraves]

cuba/teddy anon thanks so much for answering my questions now things were cleared up—or as much as they can be in this sort of story!!

i guess now that i finished it, with this understanding, i wanna read it again. i didnt think i was going to enjoy it this much but here i am. i still think teddy is a substitute character for the author.

i think my favorite characters were teddy and jackie. i hated che, what a groomer. and cuba is interesting but difficult and has no idea how to understand his son.

what characters did you like/hate?

thanks again!!

Aw, thank you, it's delightful that my interpretations - informed by many of my sweet discord friends who have also been enjoying the play! - have helped you want to read it again. It's a very rich story that way!

I'ts really one of the more original and thought provoking things I've read in a while. No one would produce it now with all these undertones, and the only reasons people are not clamoring for it to be censored is that I think hardly anyone knows it exists. But ask any social worker how messy life can get and I think it is great that it does exist, actually, and is so much more nuanced than the stories we tell nowadays.

For me, the heart of the play will always be the dynamic between Teddy and Cuba, although I appreciate how rich the other characters are, too. No one is one note. I think almost all of them could have whole novels written about them.

And I do like Cuba because could easily have been a villain if you take a few things about him away: he's violent, he's selfish, he's insecure, he uses his son (in what way is ambiguous, but he does treat Teddy like a servant a lot) and yet - he wants him to have a good life, he wants him safe from the outside world, he recognises there is something weird going on between them and he tries to fight it, tries to take care of him, and most of all he doesn't always blame the world for his misfortunes. He seems to understand that he has some responsibility, and it makes you feel that if he just had a little more actual support, there is hope for him. That this is why Teddy can honestly still love him, because if Cuba could face himself enough to get a little better....

I don't think it is going to happen, but it could, there really is some part of Cuba that could go to a priest or a wise lady and say: "Help." And maybe that is wish fulfillment on Rey Povod's part - his Teddy definitely is a self insert for me too - but these are people, not charicatures, and Teddy, argh, poor boy. I've said this before but I admire so much how smart he is in dealing with Cuba, smart in a way stories about abused children almost never show: because he's good at calming Cuba down; he goes behind his back, he takes care of him, he needs him, he wants to make him proud, he tries to grow up, he sulks, he's stupidly in love, he's stressed out as all **** and he goes to poetry readings. And Jackie also has such a good heart and absolutely no clue how to improve the situation so he tries to keep the situation livable the only way he knows. And it is not enough but he still really tries and it's all so... I mean Teddy needs to go to a safe space now but it's not because people don't care. Because they're out of their depth, but here is care and it is so bittersweet it makes my heart hurt.

[thescarletsith]

I was thinking about TRoS... again. Another thought... another new ending:

If Rey had been written as the same character that she was written as in the previous films, I don't believe she would have been so quick to actually destroy Palpatine. Think about it - in FA, she was willing to sit and rot on Jakku waiting for her family to come back. In TLJ, she is still pining after that family, so much so that she ventures off into a place she knows is potentially dangerous per her vision of it just to see if she can find a clue to where her parents are. This lost family left a hole inside of Rey, one she's been desperate to fill. Even after finding out her parents sold her off as if she meant nothing and then died afterwards wasn't enough to make her succumb to darkness and lose all hope. Rey wants a family... period. Meeting her grandfather, no matter who he was, would have been something Rey wanted, so writing him off as her true enemy after a five minute conversation simply isn't likely.

Disney and Abrams wanted Rey to be Luke Skywalker so badly and they wanted to remake the OT more than anything else, yet they didn't even see the most obvious way to do it. Whenever Palpatine finished his speech and Rey was in a position to strike him down, she should have simply seen Ben and given him the lightsaber and then told Palpatine that she wasn't going to kill him. She'd tell him to abandon his darkness and return home with her. YES we as an audience would call BS on that and know for absolute certain that's something that'd never happen, as Palpatine has literally no redeeming quality, but Rey wouldn't know that. All she'd know is that's her grandfather, her family, and she'd want to pull him away from the darkness.

This scenario would leave the scene open to Palpatine striking Rey down with lightning just as he did to Luke, which would then lead to Ben destroying Palpatine once and for all, mimicking Vader's move in RotJ, and also bringing a definite, clear meaning to, "I will finish what you started."

This would also kill off the scene of Palpatine draining the Life Force of Ben and Rey's bond because, let's face it, what the hell does that even mean. It would scrap Ben getting thrown into the pit, it would prevent Rey from having her Iron Man moment, it would have validated the only meaningful lesson Luke taught her (some things are stronger than blood), which would allow her to see the value in herself and in the friends she's made after leaving Jakku behind, freeing her of the one thing that's always seemed to hold her back thus also allowing her to finally become what she is meant to be... AND it would have given Ben the chance to avenge the death's of... literally his entire family.

Then once Ben finishes off Palpy, he's strong enough to heal Rey and live after the fact. They have their moment, she returns to her friends and he goes his own way.

Flashes forward to Rey in the forest on the planet the Resistance base is located (the name escapes me) and Ben meets her there by using their bond to project himself to her. She asks where he is and what he's doing, tells him she's going to Takodana with the others to help rebuild Maz's castle and hopefully form a new sort of leadership within the galaxy. He tells her that he has to seek salvation his own way, atone for his sins and figure out his place in everything now and he must seek the Force for guidance to do so. And then he promises that one day, they'll meet again, and they'll never have to face another day apart when it happens.

Rey's final scene would be the oddly placed one that already exists in TRoS, of her staring hopefully into the forest as Poe approaches her and asks if she's ready to go. They all fly off in the falcon together to begin their new lives with each other outside of a war. And Ben's final scene is on Ahch-To, where he is meditating on the same rock Luke passed away on, and Anakin's lightsaber is shown on the ground beside him.

The final scene would be a slow fly-through of Mustafar, ending with a closeup of Vader and Kylo Ren's helmets nearing the lava before finally falling into it and melting away into nothing, signifying any darkness linked to the Skywalker name was destroyed in the same place it was created.

[randomeditscreates]

The Force Awakens Breakdown

So I know no one gives a shit about my opinions on movies and my last post about the sequel trilogy [ST] But honestly I want to continue talking about these crap movies. So now that we got that through, lets start.

1) Jar Jar Abrams start this movie by basically ripping off the concept of the OT [Original Trilogy] The First Order [The empire] has taken over with a dark side user [Kylo Ren in this one, and Darth Vader in the OT] with a more powerful dark side user in the background pulling all the strings [Snoke and Creamy Sheeve respectfully] With an opposing side that happening to be small in numbers, [The Rebels and The Resistance(What they're resisting, no fucking clue, but it sounds nice)]

2) Rey Palpatine (I refuse to use the other name) is the protagonist of this story, and just so happens to live in a desert planet, you know like Luke. And happens to be the most laziest character Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy ever created. She's kind, and friendly and her only flaw is that she doesn't have any family. She's a scavenger, yet has so much proficient in the force, you would think she's been training for decades. She has great skill in flying ships and fixing them, that you would think, it would at least be a throwaway line. But nope, she has no reasoning for knowing how to fly or fix ships and the only reasoning we really have is that, Jar Jar wanted it, so he put it in. And throughout this movie and following ones, she picks up skills like their pokemon cards because fuck hard work. Now Rey pisses me off, not just because of her lazy character, but because during all the movies, nothing ever fucking happens to her, she doesn't get hurt to an extreme degree like Finn, She doesn't go through a huge revelation, all that happens is that Rey loses Han (someone she barely knows) then she magically beat Kylo,( who if you don't remember has years even decades over Rey in training) and then decides to find Luke. And that leads to the third problem...

3) The movie is too full. for being a movie that is 2 hours and 16 minutes, yes I fucking looked it up, this movie seems to drag on and not develop any of their concepts. Because while I fucking agree that Rian Johnson left fucking nothing for Jar Jar to work with, at least his story had some character development, and yes it dumb and breaks the world but I'll take what I can get. All the main characters in this movie all ends up the same as they start off with. Rey is a happy and kind character with no past, turns to Rey is a happy and kind character with no past and force abilities. Kylo Ren is tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, and turns into a tangled up Christmas lights drenched in yogurt and acid, who ends up Killing his father. But if you remember is haunted by that death by TLJ [The Last Jedi] Poe Dameron is a self assured Spit-fired Pilot and ends up a Spit-fired self assured Pilot who's Not dead. Even the characters who do get develop, Finn and, oh my god, it's only Finn, get's completely rewritten in TLJ and gets the story arc redone just terribly. We can't even talk about Han, Leia or even Maz, because Han doesn't change and then dies, Leia doesn't get enough screen time to show anything about this character, and Maz is supposed to Yoda in a yellow and female clothing, and they do shit with that too because it leads to this..

4) Maz Kanata and holy fuck, she's literally the reason Han is dead. Maz yells very loudly to the entire cantina that Han Solo is here, which leads for the First Order to be notified. She somehow has Luke's lightsaber [It doesn't get explained, not even in the later movies] and somehow Rey is drawn to it, and leads to Maz giving advice, but you know the shitty type because it ends with Rey running away in the forest for her to get caught by Kylo. She tells Finn that he shouldn't leave, and that it turns makes him severely injured. And if you don't remember she does the same to Han, and he ends up dead. And her cantina gets fucking destroyed after being their for centuries, yet she couldn't give a fuck. and it shows the true issue, Jar Jar and Kathleen Kennedy in extent doesn't give a fuck about characters and just wants to to get from point A to point B with a lot of flashing lights.

5) Han Solo: Character Assassination. A character who developed into a man who was ready to risk it all for the rebellion. A character we loved in the OT is now broken down into his New Hope person all over again. Who apparently has scammed everyone in the galaxy? Um, Jar Jar, I know it might seem strange to you, but a smuggler needs people who trust him to get jobs and therefore receive income. But I guess I shouldn't expect much from the same man that think a Smuggler would want to be easily known or recognized. Also Leia and him are either broken up or divorced and that makes me feel really happy to know a couple that I loved are no longer together and one of this dead. Because Han Solo is just there for fan service and to shoot his gun, because that's what he's here for to go pew pew. Oh and to die, that what all the OT fans wanted, One of the main three characters killed by their own child.

6) Subtle doesn't exist in this movie, everything is given the delicacy of a hammer. We find out that Kylo or Ben, (I really don't fucking give a shit) is the son of Han solo, by Snoke just saying, the droid is in the possession of your father Han Solo, like no shit I assumed that when you mentioned the Millennium Falcon. Who would you think I thought Kylo was the son of, Chewbacca? Finn's story arc is the only one that makes you think, and brings a new aspect to the movies, and to the Stormtroopers. I just fucking wish we could do the same for the others Stormtroopers, because the other are killed with no regards that most of them, as Finn states were sold into this at a young age. Good job Resistance for killing all these people who was forced into this with no regards. How does a series that came like a decade before you (Star Wars: The Clones War Series) manage to develop the concepts that stormtroopers or clones are not mindless drones better than you. (The Rookie episode in the first season helps flesh out all the clones and they only have 25 minutes per episode, get you're shit together Lucas Films) And these are only the examples I could think of, off the top of my head.

7) Rey is a great example of Sexism, but instead it goes the other way around then usual. All the male characters are laughed at and or ridiculed, but all the females are perfect and don't need to change. One of the last scene is a great example of this, Kylo Ren, the one with years of training and two powerful masters who trained him, gets beat by Rey, someone who has no skill with a lightsaber and didn't even know she could use the force until Jar Jar decided to pull it out his ass. Even Finn who has at least close quarters fighting skills under his belt couldn't beat Kylo, and has to be saved by Rey. Now I will admit to being a feminist but Kathleen version completely differs from mine. Because while I believe both men and women are both capable of reaching the same level of skill, Kathleen think women should be able to do incredible things without working for it. And it clear by her stupid "The Force is female" Like shut the fuck up, the force was never given a gender, why the fuck are you doing it now? I also found out that most of the Crew in Lucas Film, happens to be female. and it's clear who's doing that. Again I am a feminist but I hate when people just have diversity for the sake of diversity instead of the person's capabilities. It's very vindictive of the Feminist movement, The Black Lives Movement and LGBT+ agenda as well, as we're trying to make people see them as just like everyone else which they fucking are (I will not stand for any form of bigotry and if you don't like something simply because of someone's race, gender or sexuality, you are shit human being) , they just so happen to not be a straight white man. And that they have the same struggles as everyone else. Also we already had strong female characters in the series without the big emphasis on the fact that they have a vagina. As from the basis, Star Wars was never about gender and because of this we got fully developed character we could relate to.

Now Dishonorable Mentions

A) This movie is fucking 2 hours and 16 minutes long, yet it feel so unfinished

B) Jar Jar Abrams deep seated love for mystery boxes and how it get more screen time then the actual Character it involves (Rey)

C) The movie could've been great, they're was definitely potential but it was dwarfed by mystery boxes and Visuals

D) Rey is not a Mary Sue in this Movie, she becomes one by the end of TLJ but she's not yet. So I guess it one positive.

E) Jar Jar inability for world Building, and doesn't even fucking tries to explain how the First Order even began to rise.

F) Poe Fucking Dameron, and the amount of time that is dedicated to him. I love him but come on, just make it someone like Han, as it could bring up the relationship between him and his son, which could then bring more emphasis when we reveal their relationship. But no lets bring up a character who we all assume is dead until about the end. And then does absolutely fucking nothing.

G) And Lastly when we see Han die, we don't get a scene of any of the characters we give a fuck about and who knows Han mourn his death, instead we just have two characters who had about 15 minutes of screen time with Han, and Chewbacca. And it doesn't get better because Rian Johnson decides in the second movie that we don't need a scene of Luke mourning over the man who fought side by side with him and is his Sister's husband. No Instead we get a scene of him drinking tit milk.

So that's it, well for now, I'll make another post for this if I have any more issues. But that it for now. I would also like to make it damn clear now, as I'll probably continue this, that me tearing apart a movie is based soley on the technical aspects of it. And that if you enjoyed this movie, you are entitled to it, but you cannot defend this movie's writing , because as I hoped I made clear, the writing is very much shit.

[darcyfitz]

Now That the Dust Has Settled...somewhat.

Reylo fam, the wounds are still fresh. Each time I try to write a descriptive meta about my feelings for TROS, I fall flat. I just can’t. The hurts is just too real. Yet there are some things I’d like to get off my chest. 

* I realize JJ deemed it necessary to return to Tattooine in some way. I get that. But I seriously take umbridge to Rey burying Luke and Leia’s sabers on Tattooine. It was, in my opinion, a monstrous mistake. Why? Well...Luke HATED Tattooine. Could not wait for some ship to “Teleport him off that rock”. Leia, on the other hand, had never been there. Other than the ties of their father to his home planet, it was just a place holding NO sentimental value. How lovely would it HAVE been, for Rey to bury the sabers in the waters of Naboo. It was where their parent’s fell in love, married, and shared the happiest times of their forbidden love story. It would have tied in Anakin, Padme, Luke and Leia perfectly since, well...they ARE Skywalker’s. And Rey, well...is not. No, Rey ending up on that dust bowl only served one purpose in my eyes: her muttering to a random desert dweller “I’m Rey Skywalker.”

* The total lack of screen time back story for Ben Solo. Remember him? The actual last Skywalker. I realize JJ and Co. try very hard to forget he even exists, but still. Why bother to introduce him AT ALL? Oh, right...I remember. As a vehicle for REY SKYWALKER to have her powers awaken. Got it. Forget he is the son of the beloved couple of the OT. Forget that hardly anyone in the GA reads SW canon novels and comics and has ZERO clue as to who he was before Snoke *cough* Palpatine got his spindly fingers into his head. Forget the fact he was ALONE his entire life. Actually, I can’t forget. I will never forget. Because Adam Driver played this character to absolute perfection, imparting Kylo/Ben with a light that will never fade. I’m pleased as a viewer and lifelong fan of SW that I didn’t succumb to bigotry after TFA against Kylo; painting him as an abuser, a fascist, a Nazi like monster, etc. I LOVED Han Solo. LOVED HIM. So Kylo killing Han was like a knife to my gut. But I delved deeper into who Ben Solo was, and I’m glad I did. My only question is...WHY DIDN’T JJ ABRAMS AND CREW?????

* I shipped Finn/Rose. I did. I get that so many wanted Finn/Rey to happen. Or Finn/Poe. I understand. You like who you like to ship. Live and let ship. One of my biggest gripes is that because there was not enough time to get to know Ben Solo more, that whole world building exercise in having Finnrose form a relationship in TLJ was pointless. They barely spoke in this film, and it looked like Finn had other romantic interests going on. There could have been so much time extra for Ben’s backstory if Canto Bight never happened. I realize TLJ was Rian and not JJ, but as a whole, the continuity was handled BADLY.

* I know that after Crait, Rey was PISSED at Kylo. I get that. He did some bad stuff. But I (and my husband) got tired and weary in this film watching Rey and Kylo battle it out every five minutes. By the deathstar scene, hubby leaned over and asked me ‘Another lightsaber duel?’ I gently whispered that all the fighting was a metaphor for sex. But I digress. Then, suddenly, she kisses the skin off of his lips. While the end for me is beautiful and horrible in equal measure, the fact that Ben dies with little fanfare leaves me wanting. A lot. 

* Which brings me to this: Where the hell was EVERYONE for Ben???? Not a soul was there to ‘Be With Him’. He spent a lifetime in isolation, and as the HEIR of Skywalker there was NO ONE. Not Anakin, which I am thoroughly pissed about. You bring ewoks back for this film, Lando back, but not Anakin? The entire production company came out for Rey, but not Ben. 

* I knew from the first hour of TFA that Rey was not ‘nobody’. I said she was either a Kenobi or a Palpatine. After TLJ when people were debating and arguing her lineage, so many were indignant that she could still be a great Jedi and be nobody. True. Only, she WAS somebody. And even though I have no hate for Rey, she stole Ben’s birthright courtesy of JJ Abrams. She had a meaningful albeit brief relationship with Ben’s parents. She had Han’s ship. Luke’s saber. Leia’s time and training. What the hell did Ben have again? Oh, yeah. Neglect. Mistrust. Fear. Everything Rey received, should have been Ben’s. Some friends of mine pointed out that well...since Ben and Rey are one soul in two bodies, technically- Nah. Hell no. Ben DESERVED love. Not that Rey didn’t, but she wasn’t the focus here. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. She WAS the focus. The legacy character of the ‘good’ guys was sacrificed so that the legacy character of the ‘bad’ guys could RISE. Again, Ben Solo was merely a vehicle to promote Rey as the new Luke of this generation. Rey got top billing in this trilogy and Ben was relegated to second fiddle. That would have been fine, if this trilogy was about the Palpatine’s. But it wasn’t. It was about the Skywalkers. Or it was. I have no freaking idea WHAT it’s about, at this point.

Honestly, I know we got a somewhat happy ending. Good triumphed over evil. Ben was redeemed. He came home to his parents. He kissed the girl he loved, and died happy. Reylo, blessed Reylo, was REAL. And nobody can change that. No fanboy, no anti, not even JJ. But I still wanted. Not MORE for Ben, but for the GA to know who he was.  

@michellestarswept @ravenclaworganasolo @ajedisgirl @glitzescape @bellaren18 @nite0wl29 @asalookslikelokin @tazwren @zhrmf @franymol @roguewn @monharki @millennium-eagle @half-ok @psy-kylo-gy @catalina-infanta @franpaw-reylo-creations @empressdarkren

[tros-for-dinner]

The first tros Force Skype scene is....................a mess

Like, okay, animosity between them in TROS I can understand. In TLJ they thought they could trust each other and then it turned out they disagreed on something so fundamental it couldn’t be reconciled at the time. They both failed miserably at what they wanted in TLJ - of course they’re going to be hurt and resentful.

But this? Is like they’re not even having the same conversation. 

Rey is hurt and angry, okay, fine, I expected that. But Kylo?

He’s just standing there. Like a bump on a log. There is literally nothing threatening about his body language. In fact, the music and sounds just stop, for a whole beat. We have this big dramatic zoom in on Rey and the music crescendoes....! Cut to Kylo, and there’s a full beat of conspicuously dead silence. Absolutely no menace to justify the big dramatic moment prior to his appearance. When he speaks, there’s no preamble, no lead-in, just: “Palpatine wants you dead.”

Missed opportunity: using Driver’s fantastic acting ability to convey that Ben still cares deeply about her, and he’s deeply conflicted about the price of the army ol’ Palps gave him. OR, and this is just a crazy idea I had: actually have him act menacing. I’m not picky. Choose the aesthetic and commit to it! As it is, I honestly can’t tell what the character is feeling here.

Okay, fine, viewing the scene through the headcanon he’s conflicted. Rey replies with a question that makes decent sense: “Serving another master?” She’s hurt they didn’t work out, they’re bitter exes, whatever, she spits in the face of his concern and goes for the low blow. It’s a direct hit, by the way - he was raging across the galaxy, ‘destroying every threat to his power’ and now he’s working for The Man again.

“No,” he replies shortly, not rising to her taunt. “I have other plans.”

But then, without even a pause to breathe, he says, and I quote, “I offered you my hand, once. You wanted to take it. Why didn’t you?”

I’m conflicted about this line. On one hand, this line could have been gold in the hands of a competent director. On the other hand, it’s such a non-sequitur in the context of the scene my head is spinning. (Just a little pause, with them looking at each other in anguish over could-have-beens, would’ve made this line make sense.) In the gripping hand - maybe it’s been too long since I’ve seen TLJ, but he knew exactly why she didn’t take his hand: she was holding on to the past, wasn’t ready to be her own person and choose the things she wants yet, whatever. And I know that TROS is just a big retcon, but I read a lot of retcons and often enjoy them - the filmmakers didn’t execute this retcon with even the barest amount of competence. I might revisit that statement when I watch the “fight on the ocean” scene but I’m reasonably sure all she says is, “I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand” but doesn’t give any kind of reason why she didn’t. Literally all they had to do was have her say “I was afraid (because the unknown is scary)”, because technically that’s the truth (alternatively: ‘vulnerability is scary’ ‘the mortification of being known’ etc et). It was all setup and no payoff.

Her reply to this question is: “You could’ve killed me. Why didn’t you?”

...What?

Again, maybe it’s been too long since I’ve seen TLJ but he doesn’t try to kill her directly face-to-face in that movie (yes he has his troops fire on the Falcon BUT that isn’t him personally trying to kill her mono-e-mono). I have no idea what event she’s referring to in this line. “This is a retcon!” you remind me impatiently - and then I remember TFA exists. “Well, maybe she’s referring to when they first meet for the first time and she’s wildly firing her blaster at him and he subdues her with ease? Because she definitely isn’t talking about the Forest Lightsaber Fight where she soundly kicks his ass and would’ve killed him if the Force hadn’t intervened.”

The point is, I have no idea what event she’s referring to, I can’t tell what this rebuttal has to do with he question he asked - it feels like another non-sequitur. I’m reeling with confusion.

(Were they both rhetorical questions or were they genuinely asking? .........Neither of those options make any sense!)

Then Kylo says, “You can’t hide, Rey. Not from me.” The first half of that could be interpreted as menacing or threatening, if that’s the vibe the director wanted. The second sentence is definitely said in a plaintive or longing tone. I’m a broken record here, but without body language or facial cues this line makes no sense and falls flat, AND more importantly, I have no idea what it has to do with Rey’s nonsensical question.

As I’m gripping the arms of my chair to alleviate my overwhelming vertigo caused by the directions this conversation has taken, Rey fires back with, “I see through the cracks in your mask. You’re haunted. You can’t stop seeing what you did to your father.”

Oh my god, girl, we have been over this. And what a irritatingly unoriginal line. He’s got a kintsugi mask! She can see cracks in it!!! Get it?!?!

*tony stark rolling his eyes.gif*

Kylo doesn’t rise to this attack. “Do you still count the days since your parents left?” he asks, and he starts to move again, stepping forward slowly. “Such pain in you, such anger. I don’t want to have to kill you. I’m going to find you, and I’m going to turn you to the darkside. When I offer you my hand again, you’ll take it.”

Where the eff do I begin?

Pain, anger - fine, that makes reasonable sense to Rey’s character. “I’m going to turn you to the dark side” = boring, tired Star Wars Villain(tm) Dialogue bc the writers were hacks, fine. “I don’t want to have to kill you”?? Bitch say what??? He literally led this conversation with “Palpatine wants you dead” and I was guessing he was saying that with concern. Guess I’m back at the drawing-board in that regard. Furthermore, he still hasn’t figured out why she didn’t take his hand in the first place, why the fuck would she take his hand now, after a thinly-veiled threat??? Christ on a bike. What does this version of Kylo hope to accomplish? In order to Seduce Turn Someone To The Dark Side, you have to offer them something they want. This block of dialogue tells me Kylo has no clue what Rey wants, and that he will fail abysmally at his goal of ‘turning her to the dark side’. (On a more meta level, it shows that the writers had no idea how someone Turns To The Dark Side: the writers are assuming the Dark Side is like a fungal infection that will pass from Kylo to Rey if he gets too close to her 😑)

Missed opportunity: when he says the line, “Do you still count the days?” I could interpret that as him asking in a very roundabout way, ‘do you still miss me as much as I miss you?’ This block of dialogue could have been a moment of him trying to rebuild a bridge: “I’m going to keep reaching out to you,” he could have promised her, “until you take my hand.”  Alternatively: literally all the writers had to do is have Kylo offer something to Rey that she wants. The fundamental problem with that is, Rey doesn’t want anything in this movie. Rey Palpatine is a cardboard cutout who doesn’t experience icky things like character development, consequences of bad decisions, or sexual desire. She exists to Fight The Villain and worship at the altar of the OT to the point of fetishization.

“We’ll see,” Rey spits back, and I’m 99% sure this line is a callback to TFA. Doesn’t Kylo say this to her during the interrogation scene? Or am I imagining that? Even so, what’s the point of echoing that dialogue? “Oh noes the fungal infection Dark Side Badness reached her through the Force!!!!”????

......JFC I’m only 24 minutes into this movie. 

[shadowversejc]

THE DESTINY OF SKYWALKER: The Rise of Skywalker Ending Reimagined

Chapter 1: The Rise of Skywalker

EXEGOL

Ben was running. Running, running, running as the sweat limped off his arms and face. Running through the darkness, which pervaded everywhere. But like many times before, the darkness was almost physical. But unlike those times, its strength was impossibly strong. The Dark Side was truly everywhere in this place, and it crept outward like an unstoppable slug.

He knew she would've known what to do—that Force bond just saved his life. He almost started laughing, but scolded himself for nearly falling for that temptation. Yet, he really couldn't help it—everything she did made him smile. He could barely keep focus each time they had fought before. Even being in her presence made his heart jackhammer to the point he thought faintness overtook him. Except for when she cut off a piece of his face. Not the finest moment by any stretch. He would always hold a grudge for that. Especially when his kids ask, "Dad, who gave you that?"

"Oh, your mother," he mumbled, still sprinting through and towards Rey's location. He was getting way too ahead of himself.

Priorities, Ben, priorities, he thought. Sometimes—well, more like all the time—he wondered why he loved her. And that he did, she just didn't know or hear him say it. Yet. She was a scavenger, truly a nothing from nowhere. Maybe it was the Force. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe it was simpler than that, though. Maybe, just maybe, for the first time in his life, he met someone who was also alone. Someone who needed another to make life bearable. It was all very poetic.

His mind was still reeling from the conflict with his former squad, the Knights of Ren. Those savages had been working behind the scenes for the Emperor this whole time, yet he never even caught a glimpse of their machinations. And now, the end neared as the fate of the Force teetered on the edge of an abyss. If they don't succeed and destroy one of the greatest Sith of them all, those kids won't even exist. If Darth Vader now apparently couldn't kill him, who could? But he had to try. Even if it meant giving up the greatest thing of all—life.

He would have to save the galaxy. When he imagined saving the entire galaxy, though, only one thing came to mind—Rey. She was his galaxy. He hoped she always would be. No matter what ensued, death could never hope to separate them.

I will finish what you started, grandfather.

After an eternity of running and jumping like a madman through the terrain of Exegol, he finally made it to the arena. Sith loyalists were everywhere, filling his ears and eyes with horror. The First Order itself was originated in various forms of evil. But this was different. It was pure evil, unlike anything he'd ever seen.

He looked around and spotted Rey in the center; just standing there, Leia's blue lightsaber blade casting a small pool of light in this dark dungeon. And there...was the Emperor. He was attached to the gigantic apparatus he had seen beforehand, flailing about like a zombie. It scared the crap out of him.

"Every master I have grown beyond is now with me," the Emperor said. "There is no escape. I will not just rule the galaxy. We all will!" His voice now seemed to be a multitude of voices. Darth Nihilus, Vitiate, Maul, Malgus, Bane, Plageuis, Exar Kun—the Dark Lords of the Sith from eons past all sounded their victory.

"The Force is not with you, grandfather!" Rey retorted. He laughed, drawing it out so that it echoed everywhere. "Young fool...good. Come and witness the full power of the Dark Side!"

Ben walked up and stood inside the arena. Rey noticed the commotion and looked. She smiled. Not a big smile, just a slight grin. He was overcome with joy. She had never smiled at him before. And boy, did it feel damn good.

Suddenly, he was hit by a truck of courage. He would kill Sheev Palpatine if it was the last thing he did. If only to see her smile one more time.

Glaring at Sidious, the newly-reborn Ben Solo stepped next to Rey, wielding the lightsaber of legacy, the saber used by Luke Skywalker and his father before him—Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One.

"Your coming together will be your undoing," the Emperor said. "You will not stop me. I spent years planning. I destroyed the Jedi. Now, I will destroy you."

"'You'?" Rey snapped. "You won't kill me. You will have to kill us." Ben glanced at her and smiled. The time was at hand.

Out of nowhere, Palpatine shot his hands forward and ripped a translucent mist from both Ben and Rey's bodies. He had sucked something out of them. Something Ben knew he took. Something that horrified him. Years ago, he read the stories of all the powers the Dark Side lords possessed—one of them being life force manipulation. It's how this very Palpatine kept his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, alive after a quick dip in the fires of Mustafar. In doing so, he took the life of his grandmother, Padme Amidala.

"The life force..." the Emperor muttered, almost astonished. He sneered with the smile of a devil and repeated the prior motion. Kylo and Rey were frozen by an unparalleled Force power as their very life left them and instead served the Emperor. His face began to brighten, his fingers reform, and soon enough, he fell to a knee. He felt more alive than ever—like he was back in the game. He dropped Rey and Ben to the unforgiving, cold ground.

Ben looked to Rey. She was unconscious. He shifted and glared at the Emperor, who slowly stood up. When they locked eye contact, Ben discovered a terrible truth: His eyes were now reddish-orange. The color of the Sith.

"No!" Ben shouted, mustering every ounce of strength to at least stand up to this monster in the Force. To pose a threat. To do something.

"Vader betrayed me," Palpatine said. "So I will start off by destroying the last Skywalker!" He telekinetically lifted Ben into the air once more. "I am your Emperor." He thrust Ben away and he fell into a pit deemed no bottom.

The reborn Darth Sidious sat on the throne. The ceiling began to part, displaying the vast fleets from everywhere in the galaxy consumed in an absolute spectacle of war.  Rey began to awaken and turned over. She groaned and looked to her grandfather, who pointed his fingers upward. What followed was a deep moan from the very Force itself, letting out an expulsion of Force lightning previously undreamed of straight into the sky, where it branched off like a thunderstorm. The fleets shorted out and began to go deadstick.

Horrified but powerless, Rey inched up. "Be with me," she choked. "Be with me."

"There is no one coming to help you," Palpatine growled. "No one will be with you. No one is coming, just like no one came to save your parents. Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy! And we shall have...peace. And this time, there is no Vader, no Skywalker to stop us."

She connected to the Force, her rage rising. The Skywalker lightsaber lifted off the ground in front of her. On one knee, she reached out to grab it. But it flew right past her and into the outstretched hand of someone, or something, else.

A slightly glowing, blurry figure stepped into an iota of light. Igniting the lightsaber, it began to walk forward. She squinted. The figure's features were now apparent. It wore long, Jedi robes and boasted long, wavy hair. Yet, she had no clue who he was.

"I believe you're in need of my assistance," he said. "I will be with you, Rey. Because I am all you need. And it's time I finish this. I will finish what I started."

Just then, Ben Solo crept out of the pit...somehow. He pushed himself up onto the ground that was riddled with energy and a nightmarish cyan glow. His eyes widened when he made out some kind of Force ghost. The ghost turned around and smiled at him.

"This was never your destiny, Ben! This is mine. I will balance the Force forever. One last time. Not as Vader, as Anakin Skywalker...the Chosen One."

***

I hope you enjoyed reading it! I never write fanfics but I was so pissed after what happened in TROS that I had to do something about it.

[chiclet-go-boom]

You know, I’m just going to say it.

I saw Star Wars in the theatres when it came out. Yes, I’m that old. I’m as invested as any 9 year old would be when a blond hero with a blue laser sword bursts onto the scene. My favorite was always R2D2. I hoarded his full size sticker forever until I finally bequeathed it onto my favorite book of fairy tales, figuring I would keep my two best things together for all time.

Yes, I still have the book and the sticker gracing its cover. 

I do not give two finger snaps for the original trio of characters in the new movies. Yes, I was sad Han died, but I was WAY more invested in how Kylo felt about it. Yes, I was surprised to find out that Han and Leia couldn’t pull it together in the long run but after thinking about it, it made perfect sense they fucked up their kid and fucked up their relationship. I was very surprised about Luke ending up cynical and jaded and no longer the bright, shining hope that he’d always been but then I thought about it and really fucking got behind the fact that we can all fuck up in terrible, horrible, no-good ways without even realizing how we’re repeating the mistakes of the past.

I’ve been there. I’ve made those mistakes. I turn into my mom sometimes and it not a good look on me. 

And I wanted Finn and Poe and Rey and Kylo, not the old guard. The first three already had their movies, tell me more about the new kids.

Instead this last movie gave C3PO more dialogue lines and on screen time than Kylo kriffing Ren it felt like. Leia deliberately sabotaged her own son. His Force bond mate fatally stabbed him with his own saber when he stopped fighting. His father turned up again, when he’d already had his grand moment in the first movie so yeah, let’s rehash that from a completely different yet utterly the same angle, right down to the touch to the face. Then Han tells him to go uphold his mother’s fixation; you know, the one that took up all her time when he was growing up so that he grew up thinking himself unloved. 

Then all the Jedi apparently get behind Rey Palpatine because of course they do, and none of those sanctimonious Force ghosts have a single kind word for struggling Ben Solo. His Force bond mate spends absolutely zero time even looking conflicted that he’s gone. He’s dead, she’s absolutely fine. She goes back to a place that is supposed to touch the heart strings of us old folk who cared about the original movies, but let me tell you, I was not moved in the slightest. She buries two sabers, including one that didn’t exist before this movie and therefore I could care less about, and takes on a name that doesn’t belong to her because we’re paying homage to the original trilogy again because fuck the new kids and their story, I guess. She has a brand new yellow saber out of thin air. When did that happen? Who knows, it doesn’t mean anything to me (did it mean anything to you?) since there’s zero context. 

Poe was the son of heroes and now he’s just a reformed heroin spice smuggler because we need another Han. Finn bucked a lifetime of brainwashing to do the right thing and it gets reduced to him having a Feeling about it because hey, after three movies he’s finally Force sensitive for some reason out of the blue. Rey spends about 30 seconds of screen time actually liking her bond mate and 0 seconds caring about his loss. Rose Tico gets a shoulder tap and the nod of acknowledgement. General Hux simply disappears ingloriously. The Knights of Ren do nothing but stand around and look cool a couple of times. Not a single line of dialogue. We don’t even get their names. The First Order itself, the scourge of the first two movies, is absolutely nowhere to be found at all. 

Apparently the new kids have zero story to be told since it all got retconned so that every single thing about them tied back to the original trilogy somehow, going by this last and technically penultimate installment. Because that’s what we’re supposed to care about. The old guard. They’re the heroes. They did no wrong. Leia was a Jedi in hiding, oops, did we forget to tell you about that? Palpatine is alive because we have no clue why. He was Snoke somehow but it’s never explained how he did it or even fucking why he bothered. Rey is his granddaughter (which begs the bright question of how Palpatine lost track of his son and his progeny in the first place) and he wants her dead, no he wants her alive, no he wants her to kill him actually so that she can save the fleet (again) although once he’s in her body he’s not going to save them of course because why the heell would he, but no, he wants her dead again now. What the fuck. He’s in Ben Solo’s head the entire time apparently but that went exactly nowhere and meant nothing at the end.

I grew up on all the movies and I am utterly disgusted that all these bright new people and their stories got so trampled on in the name of incredibly tired fanservice to characters that had their moment in the sun 40 years ago. 

[insane-control-room]

It was the Age of Wisdom

Comfort is not something that comes with knowledge.

Part three of A Tale of Two Liars

Or; what Johan did after telling @halfusek‘s Magenta

Part two

With a brief appearance @pipesflowforeverandever‘s Gingie

Johan collapsed again, crying until his eyes and nose were sore and scratched, but he forced himself up, ones and zeros swirling his limp limbs, holding him up like a puppet. He was so very exhausted, extremely and painfully distraught, and horribly, emptily, drained. His body trembled as he stumbled forward, summoning a wall of numbers to lean on, taking slow steps to the door marked with flickering yellow letters, yellow letters fading with each painful stride. He was just going to go back to his “office”, back to his numerical dopamine, back to his nightmares and lies.

He was so weak.

He swiped a hand over eyes, rubbing tears off his lashes, shivering and lips trembling.

He was so tired.

He could not even hold himself anymore, the numbers encroaching his body tightening their hold, vices on his wrists and ankles, reminding him what he belonged to, to what he was slave to, the fact his volition did not exist, held up like a grotesque broken marionette.

Another failure glaring him in the face.

He failed him, he failed his dearest Maggie. He should have… been more subtle? Been more firm? Been more gentle? Not panicked? What could he have done differently to receive any other result? The only way he could have avoided this rift would have been to continue to ignore the calamity behind Magenta’s closed doors. In that case, he would have lost him even more, he would have watched as he disintegrated and pushed too hard for a futile cause. He would watch himself be pushed away, pushed aside, left alone again. Now he could at least say he tried, but what good are his attempts? What use did this have? Would it make Magenta even more paranoid and suspicious of the other Joeys? Would he leave them to-

Information about him being sent overhead.

He groaned as the words spilled into his mind.

Gingie was there.

A question posed on him.

He blinked.

Yes, he knew what was happening, what, was he an idiot? Was he blind? Of course he knew.

Gingie was such a wonderful man, but he too wore a mask around the other Joeys. He too made the same mistakes, he too caused his own ruin, he too made hell on earth - but within, inside, he was good and pure and funny and sweet and gentle and kind.

Just like Magenta was not who he seemed, neither among the others of himself nor within his own dimension, hiding himself from both worlds. Johan saw it. He tried to reach out to him, the real parts of him, and got another mask, a new mask, one made, handcrafted, just for him.

It was so much worse than the old one.

An iron maiden of lies and defense.

Built so intricately around him, so as to constrict him in place, not allowing him to even breathe, lest he skewer his lungs, or better yet, lack thereof. Holding him in a chain of fear and sadness and anguish. Fear that he would ruin things even more. Sadness that he had ruined what had been. And the anguish, the utter, the complete, the full, the absolute ANGUISH of losing him. Of losing Mag. Of ruining what he had had. He was just a mess of ruin. Henry had once told him he ruined everything that he touched, that everything he did was just causing despair.

He tried so hard to fix what he had done.

He tried so hard to fix what others had done.

He tried so hard to hold onto what he had.

Nothing.

He was left with nothing.

Errors caused him to backtrack and go over and repeat and do again, and completely rewrite everything he had done left him with nothing.

Others kept making his mistakes, in spite of the desperate hints he left and frantic clues of their own demises, and they would ignore the needed and repeat the foul misdeeds of his own, each in their slightly skewed variants of collapse.

He had nothing.

He never had anything to begin with.

And he was so tired.

So tired of trying.

It was not worth it.

He could not even keep him.

He could not even help him.

Now, he had even less than before, nothing squared.

Absolute zero.

He let himself give a hollow chuckle.

Like the temperature, he was so cold.

So utterly freezing.

Henry had told him that he was a boiling hot head, that he was a flaming and raging fire.

He clearly cooled off when Henry left.

Or maybe he was always cold.

Maybe he was at the point of being boiling and freezing at the same time. Maybe h-

Why? Why now? Could he not just brood in peace?

No, he did not want to participate in some cockney bloody bastardly game of murder! He had killed enough people in reality, he had destroyed his own world enough, he did not need to kill anymore! No more! Enough!

The wall holding him up vanished, and he pitched forwards and tumbled and rolled in the void.

He curled up, whimpering pathetically.

Man up.

Wimp. Useless. Worthless. A zero. Glitch.

Stop. Think of redemption, think of happy endings. Think that one day, you might get one.

He might.

He just had to keep moving, keep working, keep trying.

Pushing himself far beyond his limits.

He could collapse and die of exhaustion when it was done and over.

The thought of fading away with the knowledge that everything would be good… it eased the aching in his chest.

He looked at the door to his office, it seeming so far away, and he dropped his physical form, traveling slowly along the coded lines.

He thought of Gingie again - his own choice this time - and felt a need well up in him as he slipped back into physicality and trudging into his office. A deep seated need he had for so many years, for so long, occasionally rising to clog his throat and eyes and heart.

A need for some paternal comfort.

‘No’, he squashed it, inhaling sharply into a throat with no release. Gingie was busy. Gingie did not have time to deal with him. Gingie was too important to have to work around him, but he was kind and benevolent and fatherly and god he missed soothing words or a kind gesture….

Johan was standing at the interdimensional door of his mockery of an office, unsure when he had gotten there.

His hand was already on the knob, the slotlike destination picker glowing yellow with the name.

His heart ached sharply, the pain stinging it’s way to his eyes, tears surging to assault his vision.

Without thinking at all, he ran through, crashing into the man (who had been conversing with his dear friend Snowy) and collapsing onto him, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

It took a moment for the older man to register what had happened, and he gently smiled sympathetically, though the lanky one could not see that, his head pressed onto Gingie’s shoulder. Gingie pat his back.

“What happened, m’dear?” he asked soothingly. Johan struggled to speak, gasping and crying. “There there, breathe. There we are. What happened?”

“M-Maggie…” was all he managed to say, and once he started he could not stop, crying the man’s name over and over, just, “Magenta, Maggie, mi amor, Maggie, mi rey, Mag, Magenta….”

“Oh dear, did something happen between you two?” he inquired gently, Johan nodding against him as his sobs broke into hiccups. “It will be alright. It’s not like you can never see him again!”

A laugh ripped out of Johan, a hollow, spiteful, hysterical laugh, startling Gingie.

The wail that followed struck deep into any heart willing to listen to a broken one.

[reylo-is-strong-in-this]

My First Reylo Smut!!

Part 2: https://reylo-is-strong-in-this.tumblr.com/post/169250713749/part-2-of-that-reylo-smut-i-wrote-stay

OMG!! I did it! I actually wrote it in one hour!!!

This is my first straight smut in my existence on this earth, so please proceed with that in mind.

I know it’s gonna be weird, but I have absolutely no clue how straight lemon works, so…yeah, I hope you enjoy it.

Warning!: Explicit content(I guess?), A little teeny tiny bit of not so vanilla smut, but I really wouldn’t say it’s a BDSM. It’s just…Not really vanilla. So if it’s not your cup of tea, please don’t read it.

As usual, english is not my native language, please excuse my grammar and spellings.

—————–

Rey knew she shouldn’t be doing this. “Yes, Ben. Yes, harder!” She moaned as her hand roaming all over her body. The scavenger closed her eyes and pictured the firm, large hands exploring her while those dark eyes kept staring at her lustful ones. It was wrong on so many level, but at the moment it just felt right to picture him to be the one to take her, claim her, make her felt like she belong to him and only him. “Yes, Maker. BEN!” “What? What’s wrong? Oh-“ She screamed, dragged the blanket  up to cover her partially clothed body. The Supreme Leader was standing right at the foot of her bed, his eyes widened, mouth hung open in surprise. Rey looked away, couldn’t bear the fact that he had seen a glimpse of what she was doing. “Get out!” “You know it doesn’t work that way.” Kylo Ren regained his composure, crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at the girl in the bed. “So, what do we have here?” “I hate you!” She still kept her eyes firmly on the wall, didn’t dare to meet his eyes. “Oh, I would have to disagree on that.”His voice teasing. “Come on, Rey. It’s natural. There is nothing wrong with, well, letting off some steam.” He shrugged, sitting down on her bed and chuckled when she flinched. “In fact, I think I can help you out with your…task at hand.” “You are not getting anything about the resistance from me this way.” She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, Rey. How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t care about any of them.” He leaned closer, his face only inches from her. “I just want to help you out the goodness of my heart.” “Did you really just say that?” Rey raised her eyebrow. “Beside, you actually sounded pretty….arousing.” “Shut up, Ben.” She blushed, tucked at the blanket to make sure it was secured. “It wouldn’t do to have a lovely lady experience such an unsatisfying evening if I can do anything about it.” His hand places firmly on her thigh, even with the blanket between them Rey still felt a tingling sensation from where he was touching her. Kylo grinned when he saw something shifted in her eyes. “Think of it as a break from the war. You have done so much for your…whatever it is these people are to you, you deserve this.” He coaxed. “And what’s in it for you?” Rey asked suspiciously. “Aside from getting to have you the way I’ve always fantasized about since we met? Well, I had pretty rough day chasing after you guys. I could use a little break too.” He tilted his head, his hand moved up her thigh. “So?” “Urgh! Fine! Just get it over with!” She rolled her eyes. “This doesn’t change anything between us.” “We’ll see.” Kylo chuckled, and yanked the blanket away from her and threw it on the floor. “Hey!” Her hands flew to cover her partially exposed breasts. Kylo licked his lips at the sight. “Which one of us were you fantasizing about? That boy you still foolishly believe is somewhere inside me? Or the monster you tried so desperately not to care about?” “I-” She bit her lower lips, looked down to avoid looking at him, but Kylo refused to be ignored. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head back up. “Which one is it?” “Um-” She flushed, and that was more than enough for him. “Who would have thought? Your master would be disappointed.” Kylo smirked, and before she knew it, he grabbed her wrists with the force and bound them on to the bedsheets, exposing parts of her breasts that slipped from her clothes. “Ben, wha-” “If we are going to do this, you might as well call me Kylo.” He did the same thing to her legs, and now Rey was bound on her own bed with no escape. “Don’t look at me like that.” Kylo said, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the view. “You knew how weak these are, you could easily rip it if you want to.” His bare hand ghosted along her face. “But I truly hope it wouldn’t come to that.” “Be- Kylo, I- I don’t know what to do, I’ve never done this before.” The scavenger confessed softly, almost as if she was whispering. Kylo just smiled. “To be honest, I have no clue what to do either.” He took off his cape, never broke eyes contact with her. “But I think I’m pretty good at letting my primal instinct takeover.” “What do you me- Oh…” She let out a surprised sound when the hands she had always fantasized about ripped off her shirt like it was made from paper. Kylo admired her beautiful body, her toned stomach, and her fully exposed breasts with his hungry eyes. Somehow, the way he stared at her made Rey felt even more aroused than touching herself. “You are so perfect.” She heard him whispered, more to himself than her. He decide to leave her pants on for the time being and cupped those perfect breasts in his hands. “They are so soft.” “Maker, please, stop talking.” She whined, trying to cover up her breasts with he hands but they are still securely tied to the bedsheets. “As you wish.” He said, and took one of the cute little buds in his mouth, his tongue swirling, teasing around the base and made her writhed under his large frame. “Yes, oh..” She moaned, digging her nailed into the bed. She felt the corner of his mouth lifted, and the bastard decided to torture her even more by flicking her other nipple. “Force, Kylo! Stop teasing me! I have a meeting in one hour!” She shut her mouth as soon as she slipped, telling the Supreme Leader about the Resistance meeting was not a good thing to do. But neither did sleeping with one. “Wow, maybe I really should change my interrogating methods with you.” He teased after finally let her poor sensitized bud go with a pop. One hand traveled down to her still-intacted pants, ghosting over the clothed womanhood. “You are already wet? Oh, that’s right. You WERE thinking of me.”Kylo looked so smug she just wanted to punch him in the face. “Kylo, please.” Instead, she begged. She arched herself to get closer to his hand, to feel that delicious friction he wouldn’t let her experience. Kylo just laughed, and pulled his hand away further. “Somebody it hungry.” “Kylo! I swear I will chopped you into million pieces if you don’t do something right now!” She threatened him while trying hopelessly to feel his hand on her again. “Now, that is not the way to ask someone for help, is it?” He cupped her chin in his hand, mischief clear in his eyes. “What do you want me to do?” She gritted her teeth, pretending to be irritated by it, but she knew that he could sense her arousal through their bond. “How about you show my how much do you need my help?” Suddenly she was free. Kylo was sitting on the side of her bed, patting the space between his leg with an evil grin. “Come on. Show me what you got.” She rolled her eyes, but it wouldn’t be fair for him if she didn’t return the favor. Still in her pants, Rey stood up from her bed and walked toward the waiting man, dropping on her knees in front of him and dealt with that ridiculously high waist pants as fast as she can. “R’iia!” She exclaimed when she finally saw what she signed up for. Kylo smirked proudly. “Too much for the last Jedi in the galaxy to handle?” “That’s a bold thing to say to someone who can literally bite that off right now, you know?” She shot back, feeling a little bit satisfied when she saw him paled for a second. Then, carefully, she stuck her tongue out and gave it an experimental lick. She felt Kylo shuddered, and it was one of the most satisfying thing she had ever felt. She continued to ran her tongue along the length, swirling around the tip, noticed the erection twisted in respond. “Force, Rey…” Kylo growled. She giggled and tried to wrap her tiny mouth around it, just to see the Jedi Killer reaction, but she started to choke half way through and had to pull away. “S- sorry.” She coughed. “Don’t worry. I actually enjoyed watching you try.” He replied and used to force to pull her up onto his lap, straddling him with only her pants keeping their bare skin from touching. “Ready for your reward?” “Maker, yes!” As if afraid he was going to pull away. Rey started to move her hips, grinding herself on his lap without hesitation, hoping it would be enough to make him end her suffering. “I’m glad you are enjoying yourself.” He chuckled with a shaking voice, clearly affected by her afford. “But it would be a shame if I let you finish this way.” “Wha- NO!” She cried when she felt the force lifted her off his lap, but soon gasped when she felt her pants pulled off her body, and Kylo, who was lying on the bed with the hungriest look she had ever seen, lowered her onto him, straddling his face. “Oh- OH!!!” She cried out when she felt a hot tongue running along her folds, swirling and sucking at her sweet spot until her leg was trembling. She practically sobbed when she felt his tongue inside her, claiming her for the first time. “Yes, Kylo, more!” she wiggled her hips in respond to his exploration. It felt dos good, so right…. And yet, not enough. Rey felt his hands cupping, squeezing her breasts once again. His calloused hands planting firmly on her soft breasts. She put her hands over his, chanting his name as if she was singing a song. “Kylo!Kylo!Ah-” She was flipped onto the bed, lying on her back while Kylo grabbed her ankles to keep them apart, his tongue still deep inside her, making her writhed and  moaned under him. Rey was nothing but a sobbing mess when he finally pulled away, placing her trembling legs on either sides of his shoulders and lining himself to her entrance. Then he paused. “What now?!” Rey asked impatiently, temping to just hop on his lap and get it over with. “I remember my mother saying something about what to do when having sex, but Lu- Skywalker told her it wasn’t necessary because Jedis couldn’t have sex.” “Seriously? You are thinking about your mother?!” Rey loved Leia to bits, but it was really not a good time. “Sorry. Might not be important.” He shrugged, and slammed into her without any warning. “OH FORCE!!” She screamed, gave him a delicious moan each time he thrust into her. He watched her small breasts bounced slightly from his movement with lustful eyes, and took one of them into his mouth again, hand teasing another. Rey arched her back, ending desperately to be closer to him, her hands tucked at his hair and kept him from abandoning her breasts. “You are perfect, so perfect.” He mumbled against her soft breasts, and decided to flipped her over one last time, Rey sobbed out the most delicious sound when he took her from behind, clawing on all four as he slammed into her hard. “Rey? Are you still sleeping? The meeting started in ten minutes.” Finn’s voice asked from behind the door. Rey froze, but unfortunately, Kylo didn’t seem to care to stop. “Ah- Yes! I’ll- be there.”  She answered, hoping her voice was not as shaky as she heard. “Come on, Finn. Let’s go.” She heard Poe dragged Finn away from her door. Bless that man. “Ah!” She screamed out when suddenly the man picked up the rhythm, trying desperately to match his movement. “That’s for thinking about other man when I am inside you.” He whispered, ramming into her passion and jealousy that made Rey want to cry with unrelieved tension. He was driving her to the edge, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Tell me. Do you think of them when you touch yourself? Any of them? Both of them? Have you ever think of anyone but me doing this to you?” “No! Maker, no!” She sobbed out. “You. Only you.” She could never imagine doing this with someone else. He felt perfect inside her. He felt so right. “Really?” He sounded genuinely surprised. Rey grunted impatiently, and Kylo responded by planting kisses on her shoulder. “Then you will have your reward.” Tears streaming down her eyes when she felt him filling her. It was the best feeling she had ever felt in her entire existence. “I- meeting, I need shower.” She mumbled, staggered off the bed into the fresher with wobbling legs. When she was finally done with herself, Rey walked out of her refresher to  see Kylo still lying on her bed, naked as the day he was born. “Don’t you have something to put on? A cowl or something.” She blushed, but wouldn’t stop staring at his body. How in the name of R’iia can that thing fit inside her? “Why do i have to put it on? You’ll come back soon, right?” He raised his eyebrow. “Wait, you are saying…” She swallowed. “Unless you don’t want to.” He shrugged, but the look on his face told her he knew exactly what her answer would be. “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, and all but ran out of her own room.

//One month Later//

“Ben!” Kylo jumped from his working desk in his quarters. The Supreme Leader turned to see his…to be honest, he didn’t know what she was to him either…standing right behind him. She was…pissed?troubled?upset?excited? Her emotions were all over the place, but when he left her last night she was sleeping peacefully after their…session, so he didn’t know what was going on. “What is it? Are you hurt? Is my mother all right?” He has no clue why he asked about his mother, but it seemed to make Rey’s eyes soften. “No, I’m sorry I startled you. It just-” She bit her bottom lip. Kylo stood up from his chair and stepped closer to her, pull his little sand rat into his embrace and caressing he swollen bottom lip with his thumb. “Whatever it is. You can tell me. I promise I will do everything in my power to help.” He assured her. Rey sighed and look up to meet his eyes. “Remember when you said Leia had told you to do something when you have sex?” He cringed. It wasn’t the proudest moment of his life. “As much as it pains me to say, yes, I remember.” “Well, turns out it was a little more important than we thought.” She looked at him awkwardly. “How much more important?” He asked. He still couldn’t remember would his mother was trying to tell him before Luke interrupt her. “About a human baby size?” Rey blurted out, looking at him like she was trying to predict his response. At that moment, Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer, Master of the knights of Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and the most powerful man in the galaxy, just fainted in his pregnant enemy’s arms.

The end.

[electricbluebutterflies]

easier than echoes

Post-TLJ-ish Damerey hurt/comfort smut. Idk how to describe this but it is a Thing. NSFW and also on ao3.

The nightmares just keep getting worse.

Ever since… ever since the thing he does not want to put into words, his mind hasn't been safe. Supposedly that's a normal trauma thing, or at least as normal as anything gets in the aftermath of another person burning their way through your fucking brain, but that's not really reassuring.

Poe is not supposed to have this kind of problem, okay? He's not… he's not victim material, he's pretty sure. He's kind and he's damningly easygoing and he's very good at his job and almost everyone he's ever met adores him and his brain was totally freaking fine before this bullshit happened. And then it did, because apparently nobody's safe from anything anymore, and now it's been a couple weeks and the aftershocks are still there.

He has a couple options, he thinks. He's tried a variety of sleeping meds, including at least one that supposedly isn't safe for humanoids, and no luck. He's tried not sleeping for three days, and that ended with him passing out in the hangar while trying to clean something (he doesn't even remember what) and having a bad one right as someone else walked in (he's blanked out who that was). He's tried exercise, a slight change in diet, and just about everything except for, y'know, actually talking about it.

He's not weak. Really. But damn, he's getting real sick of this.

It's been a couple months now, maybe. Dust is still settling in their latest base, as it's prone to here, and it's another long awful night when Poe gets what might be his weirdest idea yet for dealing with the brain-scars. Which probably ought to have occurred to him a while back, maybe before the more mundane // useless shit he's tried, but better late than never. And yet, awkward, because…

Well…

People-person that he is, effortlessly charming and a little bit in love with the whole damn galaxy, he's a little intimidated by the girl. But on the other hand, from the rumors he heard, she might be the only person he has access to who's been through the same problem, and who knows how well she's dealing.

He wanders down hallways. He knows what room is hers for now, and he's pretty sure that she'll listen for five damn minutes. The girl - Rey, he reminds himself, Rey the desert-planet feral girl who might be salvation someday but at this point in time is mostly just lost and overwhelmed - has been kind enough the few times he's managed to have an actual conversation with her. He thinks, hopes, that will continue.

(Wants, in the back of his mind, to see what else she can do.)

The door opens before he knocks. She hasn't been able to sleep tonight either, from the looks of it - there's a newfound tiredness to her young body, something he hadn't noticed in her before, maybe even more tragic than anything else about her.

"Bad night for you too?" she shrugs, forcing an almost-laugh.

"Thought you might empathize," he replies. Casual. He can do this. He's not asking for much, dammit, just a little sharing of misery or whatever.

She nods. Her hair is loose, too much of it obscuring her face, and on impulse he reaches out and pushes the worst away behind her ear.

The moment his hand touches her skin, something strange and electric comes to life inside him. He doesn't know words for it beyond that it isn't lust or love or anything that cliché. No, this is something else, something-

She flinches back after a couple seconds and locks eyes with him. "That was new."

"Good," he mutters, shaking his head. "I mean-"

"I don't know how this… how anything I am works, really, what I can or can't do, if… if maybe this is part of it or…"

"Or it's the middle of the night, neither of us know how to sleep anymore, and we're freaking out about harmless static because it's easier than anything else around us."

"Or that." She smiles, genuine this time. She's going to be beautiful in a couple years, he can't help thinking - not that she isn't now, but in a decade she's going to blossom into everything she could be and…

He feels himself blush, well aware he's going to have to explain this. Dammit.

"Are you alright?"

Oh, there's gonna be no hiding anything from this woman. Perfect eye contact is both blessing and curse, and the fact that Poe is currently staring a hole into the floor instead might be a little bit of a problem. "Fine. Just… thinking."

"About?"

"Whatever the hell that was, maybe it'd get us through the night." Real fuckin' smooth, but no easy way to proposition her without seeming and feeling like absolute scum and-

"I've heard that's a thing," she shrugs. "Never tried it. Never done much of anything with another person, but… you're kind, I trust you, and if you think our connection might delay the nightmares…"

Rey leans forward and kisses him full on the mouth, and it's pretty obvious she's never done this before but what she lacks in experience she more than makes up for in determination. There's that electric shock again - maybe it's the Force, Poe can't help but think, that'd be his luck to finally feel all the realities of the universe just as he's about to get laid for the first time in just a little too long - but something else too. She tastes like hope, and he's gonna feel awful about this in the morning but right now, again, worth a shot.

"Are you sure you want me to corrupt you?" he breathes.

"I don't think that's what this is," she counters. "This is light. This is good."

How they make it into her bedroom and get the door shut behind him, he has no fuckin' clue. But somehow it happens, and then she's on her back on a thin mattress just waiting and this is probably the worst idea he's ever had, even worse than most of his impulsive battle decisions, and yet it's such a good bad idea and-

"Poe? Something wrong?"

"Don't hate me if this doesn't work," he mutters. "I'm just human, not… whatever you are. I'm not sure if-"

"I don't care. Can't go worse than anything else I've tried. The echo just won't shake and-"

He sits down beside her, pushes her hair out of her face again, and maybe what she actually needs is someone to cuddle with and he can easily be that person too but he'll let her lead. Whatever she wants. Her scars are worse, what he heard, and her before was worse, and all is in her hands.

She senses that somehow and moves to straddle his lap and okay, even if this doesn't actually fix anything, his body is going to enjoy this. She weighs borderline nothing, perched above him, and he'd bet she learns fast and follows instinct in all the right ways. He's seen her fight, and he's pretty sure he heard once that that's a great way to tell what kind of fuck someone will be, and if that's true…

"You're a good distraction," she breathes, feathering kisses on his face as her arms loop around his torso. "This is good."

"Whatever you want, Rey."

She laughs and he feels it echo through his body somehow. "Are you sure you trust me that much?"

"I came here in the middle of the night and figured you'd at least talk to me. So yeah, I think I trust you."

From there, it's a little bit of a blur. There are kisses, the shedding of clothing, scars to trace and unexpected sensitive places to trace with gentle fingers. Poe feels like he's floating, not fully present in his body and yet present enough to appreciate his current circumstances. Rey is… there aren't words for her, at least none he's ever heard. She's an innocent in some ways, yes, but again that fire in her that's made him so damn curious since the moment he first heard of her existence. Her instincts are solid, the way her hands and lips find all the right places of his skin, and-

"Are you absolutely sure?" he asks as he hovers over her.

"Please. Try to make me forget."

He covers her body with his own. That's the only way he can think of to describe it. Being inside her and around her feels amazing, the primal act of their bodies colliding, but all he can focus on is that this is how he can keep her safe.

He's no good with a blaster at close range, never has been, always better in the air away from the actual conflict. He's even worse in a fistfight, learned that from more than enough experiences to know better. He's made too many bad calls to ever be a war hero, at least in the current war (and oh let there not be another in his lifetime, and may that life be long). As a protector, in the standard sense of the word, Poe is borderline useless. And yet this here, holding her close and covering her with kisses and blocking out the world around her? This he can do.

"Breathe," she murmurs, and he is brought back into his body. So close, another few thrusts, and-

"Was that enough?"

"It'll help me sleep."

He moves off of her, moves to stand up but her fingers loop around his wrist and pull him back down.

"Something else wrong?"

"You could stay. If you want. There's enough space."

Normally, he tells himself, normally this would be a bad idea. But hell, his room's a couple hallways away, and it's fucking late, and he's never been able to say no to people who genuinely want him.

"Yeah. I can do that."

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

When Words Fail (Rey x Reader)

Summary: Rey is finding it hard to tell a girl she has feelings for. But actions speak louder than words, right? All she needs is a push in the right direction. 

AN: You know the hardest part of writing lesbian fics? The fact that they both have her/she pronouns and you don’t want to refer to one as “the brunette” because the reader might be a brunette so it’s like ??? I’m probably going to do a part two of this because it’s really cute. This is a day early because it was requested by @leavelukealone2k17 who is my cousin and it's her birthday today. Happy Birthday, my love!

Masterlist

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 “Hey Jess, not much damage this time, I hope,” Y/N greeted her best friend - Jessika Pava, trusted member of Black Squadron - who was climbing out of the cockpit. The mission had been a total success, no one had died and there wasn’t another mission for a few days. Things were looking up for the Resistance.

 “Oh, nothing too serious,” Jessika joked, removing her helmet, “Just the usual damage from debris and a possible burnt out circuit board.”

 Y/N grinned, “The usual then.” She removed the panel protecting the raw parts of the engine. She was right – absolutely nothing serious. Securing her tool-belt on her waist, Y/N began her routine checks for anything else awry with the T-70 X-Wing.

 Meanwhile, Jessika went over to check with Poe. The mission had been a little rough around the edges and she wanted to check on her other best friend. He was currently talking Temmin Wexley; both men were leaning on Wexley’s own X-Wing like they were applying for the Resistance’s Next Top Model.

 Spying Jessika watching them, Poe excused himself.

 “Hey, Jess. How you doing?” He greeted with a dashing smile.

 “I’m good, my X-Wing’s less good,” Jess cut to the chase, “I need a favour. You know Y/N?”

 “Yeah, cute mechanic over there, what about her?”

 “Ok, she told me she has always wanted to learn how to fly, to be a pilot and I was thinking-”

 “You want me to teach her?”

 “No,” Jess glared at Poe for interrupting her.

 “Why don’t you teach her then?”

 “Well, I only found out a week ago. Besides,” Jessika leant closer so Poe could hear her hushed voice, “I think she would prefer a different teacher.”

 “Ok, who?”

 “A certain pilot who is new on base and is good friends with your droid?”

 “Khyas?” Poe said not catching on, “I mean he fixes Bee alright but I wouldn’t say they're friends.”

 Poe’s brain was clearly fried from the mission and his talk with Finn over comms on the way home so it took a while for him to load. Sighing, Jessika placed a hand atop his curls and rotated his head to where Rey was kneeling before BB8.

 “Ahh. In that case, I’ll pass bi later and let you know,” Poe grinned and Jessika groaned as she realised he’d sneaked another pun into his dialogue.

 “Oh, that was a bad one.”

 “I’ll see you later, Jess. Nice work today.”

 “Bi then,” Jessika emphasised, watching Poe began to walk away then a few seconds later freeze and turn back round with an expression of resignation. A mass juxtaposition to Jessika’s expression of delight.

 “Oh, you…” Words failing him, Poe turned again to get BB8 alone and clue him in his plan.

 BB8 had gone along with the plan, subtly dropping into conversation that Y/N wanted to become a pilot but had settled of the role of mechanic to work the magic of the X-Wing behind the scenes. Rey’s wistful looks now filled with hope; she strided over to Y/N who was coated in oil and patting down her grimy overalls.

 “You want to know how to fly,” Rey said bluntly. She meant it as a question but the tone in her voice made it sound more like an accusation.

 Y/N was caught out with this question, only managing to answer with an unintelligent “uh”. Rey had never spoke to her before. She was pretty intimidating and intimidatingly pretty with unparalleled hand-to-hand combat skills using the staff she was currently gripping. It was unconsciously threatening.

 “Meet me after lunch. Zachary will relieve you and I will teach you how to fly.”

 “Really?” Y/N’s face lit with a dopey smile and Rey gave a small one in return.

 “Yes. I’ll see you then.” And she strode away, tensely gripping her staff. Y/N was starstruck, gobsmacked, in awe, any synonym to describe the feeling of overwhelming shock combined with happiness. After swaying on her feet, she power-walked back to the base to go have a shower - or two judging by the smell of her overalls.

 Rey stood tapping her foot nervously as she waited by the cafeteria. BB8 had given her some advice – not very good advice. So she made sure that she was going to do the opposite of what he said. Finn had offered some piece of mind to her - specifically about hygiene - which she followed to the letter. She was showered and didn’t have the emotional crutch of her staff with her. The one piece of advice she didn't get was thinking of topics of conversation. She was going to be teaching, not talking.

 Hearing a cough, Rey ceased her tapping. Now squeaky clean in a fresh shirt and black slacks, Y/N had their hands clasped in front of them and was playing with their fingers – a nervous habit.

 “Ready?” She asked anxiously.

 “Yes,” Rey nodded before heading towards the exterior side of the base with Y/N beside her. They walked in silence, unsure of what to say to one another. As they headed outside, Y/N spied Chewbacca standing next to his ship. Rey was striding towards it and with no other destination in that direction, Y/N put two and two together.

 She gasped “We’re going in the Millennium Falcon?”

 “Yes,” Rey said as if it were obvious as she continued to keep walking towards Chewbacca. Y/N held back as he growled at Rey- she was just a tad intimidated by the Wookie. He was apparently concerned about the well-being of his ship.

 “It’s ok, Chewie. She’s not replacing you,” Rey assured with a smile, clearly unafraid of the seven foot tall shag rug with a bowcaster whilst also praying Y/N didn’t hear her. She waved said person over and said goodbye to her co-pilot.

 Out of respect for Chewbacca, Y/N gave a wave and a nod for thanks. Chewbacca growled back, ending with something that sounded like a yawn, before heading towards the base.

 “He says he trusts you,” Rey clarified as they entered.

 “Uh-huh,” Y/N tried not to gawk at the ship. It was messy with wires running below the grates and into the antique panels. Toggles and switches lined the walls with screens emitting a low blue glow. The smuggler’s ship was so much grottier up close. It was amazing.

 “Uh, won’t we attract attention with this particular ship?”

 “We aren’t going to leave Yavin 4’s atmosphere,” Rey plonked herself in the pilot’s chair, already comfortable with the environment. Y/N tentatively took a seat beside her, aware that Wookie hair in the chair would be stuck to her clothes for the rest of the day.

 “Right, how do I start?”

 Since the Resistance were having a slow time after Black Squadron’s last mission, Rey used her free time to teach Y/N how to fly the Falcon. Since she had pre-existing knowledge about how the spacecraft functioned, she was already pretty good.

 The two women had gotten more comfortable with one another, learning their quirks and methods of learning and teaching. Rey was never really one for conversation so Y/N had gone off her body language instead, which became easier to read as she became more unperturbed around her. It had taken a while; Rey seemed to constantly be in the “fight” option of her “fight or flight” mode.

 Contrary to popular belief, Rey wasn’t one for silence. She liked talking, it was just really hard to do. So many topics of conversation and yet so little and none of them ever seemed to go as planned. Still, Y/N had her at ease. Rey knew she wouldn’t judge her for being unsure with communication such as small talk.

 After some contemplation, she decided to ake it for a test flight:

 “So, why did you want to be a pilot?”

 Sending what she hoped was a reassuring smile, Y/N leant back in her chair, “I just really wanted to when I was a kid and it stuck with me.”

 “Anyone in your family a pilot?” Rey pressed, knowing Poe’s “tragic back-story” and motivation was his mother’s life as a Resistance pilot from Finn.

 “No,” Y/N said casually, “I just like the idea and the feeling. It’s nice.” Then she had an outburst of laughter.

 “What?” Rey asked with a small yet confused smile.

 ““It’s nice” makes it seem like a casual hobby, not fighting the Empire.”

 “Oh,” Rey said, internally slapping herself for sounding so uninterested. Quite the opposite; she could not be more interested in anything Y/N was saying with her sweet voice and delightful laugh.

 “The great pleasure and feeling in my right brain is more than my left brain can find the words to tell you,” Y/N quoted, “Can’t remember who said that but it was in a book I read a while ago.”

 “Uh, why didn’t you become a pilot then?”

 Y/N shrugged, a little wistful, “The Resistance needed mechanics more. I love my job, don’t get me wrong. Flying just always appealed to me.”

 Rey turned back to the controls, happy with her successful small talk. Y/N was pleased too; while she did crave more interaction, she didn’t push it. Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at Rey who had taken over control and was concentrating hard. Her face was scrunched up into a pout with effort. Her eyes were focused. A strand of hair had escaped from one of her three buns and Y/N felt the urge to tuck it behind her ear.

 Shaking the thought from her head, Y/N cursed herself for being so inappropriate. Rey was taking the time to teach her how to fly. Rey was her friend; she didn’t want that.

 The Falcon gently touched down and the platform from the undercarriage lowered for the two women to exit. Chewbacca wasn’t there this time, having grown accustomed to them going out for flying lessons.

 “You’re getting good,” Rey said slowly, choosing her words with care as they stepped down the platform. She wanted to get it right.

 “Thank you, Rey, so much,” Y/N smiled then stopped. Rey stopped with her, though she wasn’t sure why she was hanging back.

 Y/n’s fingers were twitching as she debated over what she was about to do. Then she stepped forward and hugged Rey before she could change her mind. Her skin was soft in spite of her time on Jakku and the hairs that had fallen from her buns tickled her neck, sending a shiver down her spine that she managed to suppress.

 Rey hesitantly hugged Y/N. She smelt of soap and fresh linen as opposed to the grease and fumes of her overalls. With one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist, Rey felt warm inside; she felt safe in Y/N’s arms and she didn’t want to let go. Instinctively, she pulled her tighter, burying her head into her shoulder.

 “You’re welcome,” She said softly. Rey was a multi-linguist but she couldn’t find the words to describe how she felt.

 A series of beeps and whistles emitted from their feet and suddenly, Y/N felt her knees buckle from underneath her from an electric shock. Instantly, Rey reached out and pulled her by the waist to steady her. Burning bright red with embarrassment, Y/N realised she was holding onto Rey’s hand, as if she was being dipped amidst a slow dance.

 Chirping peacefully, BB8 rolled away from the pair with an added whistle of smug achievement at Jessika and Poe who were hiding behind some crates to watch the ongoing scene. They glared snarkely at BB8 and decided to leave the two women alone. Besides, Jess would hear from Y/N and Poe would hear from Finn who would hear from Rey.

 Slowly, Y/N steadied herself and Rey dropped her hand from her waist, her cheeks dusted with pink.

 “Sorry about them,” She apologised, “BB8 is a bit of a rascal.”

 “It’s ok… You’re still holding my hand,” Y/N replied. Rey looked down to see that she was, her eyes wide with apprehension.

 “It’s nice,” Y/N said before Rey could take it away. She started to rub her thumb across Rey’s dorsal side and the ex-scavenger found herself to be smiling again.

 “Roger Sperry,” Y/N said suddenly, breaking eye contact to nod her head in understanding.

 Rey’s eyebrows furrowed adorably in bemusement, “What?”

 “The great pleasure and feeling in my right brain is more than my left brain can find the words to tell you; Roger Sperry said it,” Y/N explained, her quote fading as she turned red with embarrassment, the final words barely a whisper. How ironic that those words would come back to haunt her in the best way.

“I think I know the feeling,” said Rey, gently squeezing Y/N’s hand. A wave of calm washed over them in response and they beamed shyly at each other.

 “Me too.”

AN: I love my two bi kids Jess and Poe and their stupid bi puns. I’m not too savvy with the Star Wars canon so I made this as accurate as I could without having to sift through all the Wookiepedia pages.

[valkerymillenia]

Omg there's so much I want to talk about in TLJ that I don't even know where to start!

And my ships 😏 hehe I see what the authors are doing.

Red herrings everywhere.

Spoilers ahead.

These are random disjointed fangirlish thoughts on the movie that I have to spill out before I can become coherent again. Bare with me.

THE HUMOUR! So good and yet so well nuanced that it complemented the seriousness of the  movie very well.

GENERAL HUGS and SALT GUY need to be memes. I mean, c’mon guys, you know I’m right.

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF, IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE! My gods, she always had so much potential and it’s good to see some of it finally being expressed. They built Leia up so well in this movie, so much development, I love it but now I’m so afraid of what they’ll do for ep IX without Carrie...

Billie Lourd having way more protagonism! The legacy continues.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE!  As many as the men and in equal posts! Thank you, gods! Also, POC everywhere! YES, THANK YOU!

Rose is freaking adorable and well written, the viewers form an instant connection with her through her sister and she has that innocent and wonder that we haven’t had since New Hope’s Luke.

Though Rose describing Canto Bight made me laugh because it was a perfect echo of Obi-Wan describing Mos Isley... In fact when she described it as an ugly horrifying place filled with the most despicable people, all I could think was ‘girl, you’ve clearly never been to Mos Isley’. Though in the end Canto Bight is more civilized but morally worse than Mos Isley so she’s not wrong.

Still wondering was the message Rey asked Chewie to give Finn...

Shipping wise... They're baiting us with Finn x Rose AND Finn x Poe AND Finn x Rey all at once. Interesting to see the guy being the center of a love tangle for a change. Anyway, they are clearly letting the audience chose how to interpret each relationship.

Now, I’m trying to analyze this without shipper goggles (yet) so...

Poe's body language is all over Finn who seems clueless, Poe just acts so differently around Finn compared to others, hell, he even acts possessive of Finn (the way he examines all of ‘naked and leaking’ Finn, and, his face when he meets Rose and slightly places himself between her and Finn- “Who’s this?”).

Rose kisses Finn but he doesn't kiss back, it's not even shock he just looks confused and more concerned with saving her. In sum- Rose's body language is all over Finn, even more explicitly than Poe (because heteronormativity and all) but once again Finn looks absolutely clueless of what others feel towards him.

The only times Finn's body language and attitude go beyond more than friendship and admiration are when it's related to Rey... Though then she’s the one whose body language only denotes platonic feelings.

I see what's happening- the authors are showing all these options as red herrings under our noses, which often happens in the middle of trilogies, all so the fans won't be able to guess what's coming. Hell, I could almost feel an asexual vibe from Finn and the Rose x Finn kiss echoes the red herring Leia x Luke kiss in ep V so much...

Personally I still ship stormpilot (though not averse to Rose and Poe sharing Finn but that will never happen and still prefer stormpilot), even though I openly admit that it's clear they wanted to show obvious Finn x Rey chemistry and some Finn x Rose (albeit more one-sided).

Moving on...

ALL THE FUCKING REYLO! My poor shipper heart was exploding!

Topless Kylo! Flustered “please-cover-up-that-distracting-bod” Rey! LMAO!

I'm so happy that reylo is a cannon thing now. Sure, it's in a tragic ship sort of way instead of openly romantic, but damn, that back to back battle against the praetorian guard... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scarred Kylo! 

Kylo hesitating and refusing to shoot, most likely because Leia was on board the ship...

Rey crying when she touches Kylo and connects to his emotions. 

Official confirmation that Snoke was already manipulating Ben when he was Luke’s apprentice (like what was stated in the novelization of TFA).

Ben turning to the dark because he felt betrayed by Luke (echoing Anakin and the Jedi Council). 

Kylo constantly conflicted and expressing it through anger and obvious emotional vulnerability, even (or even more so) as he becomes “the big baddy”.

Kylo BEGGING to have Rey on his side. And vice-versa.

Kylo killing Snoke, not for power but for Rey, the power was just his ambition and greed bubbling up as Rey denies him.

Pretty sure Kylo will get a redemption arc- I know it doesn't seem like it but the clues are there and I'm a good 90% sure of this, otherwise we'd just have a copy of Anakin's conflict all over again albeit Kylo being more ambiguous and also less determined in about his intentions. Now, if this redemption ends well or not, with love or without it, with grey jedi or otherwise, that is where the mystery lies.

Ok, I admit, Reylo is my otp but objectively in canon I don't know how the ship will end, at this point it can go either way; but imho Kylo will be redeemed somehow. As a writer and someone very much used to deconstructing plots, I can tell that there are enough clues for this, not just in this movie but in the big picture of the whole SW movieverse. 

One thing is for sure- the old dichotomy of jedi and sith as we know it is dead. Luke, Kylo and Yoda give us enough confirmation of this (and admittedly the whole black-white/good-evil extremes thing was getting SO old).

Personally I'm praying with all my might that we get Grey Jedi at last! And that would make both Rey and Kylo’s predictions true- she strays from the light and him from the dark and they meet in a middle term... It would make sense and seems to have been foreshadowed but unfortunately it’s not one of those things I can say I’m certain off. 

Let’s also have in account that the title of the movie is “The Last Jedi” but intended as plural (even here the subtitle was plural) so when Luke says “I will not be the last jedi”, I don’t think he means Rey exclusively.

Kylo was not made for leadership and rule either so I do wonder who will take the reigns of this crumbled government when it’s all said and done.

What else...

POE BEING A HOT-HEADED DAREDEVIL! He had such an aura of competence and poise in TFA but in TLJ we saw so much development, he was so humanized and flawed (but in the best way).

Phasma’s death was... as we say in Portugal “soube-me a pouco”, aka it felt lacking. Don’t get me wrong, it was epic, but they made such a huge deal of her in PR and marketing (especially in TFA) that it feels like she had a bigger role that got edited out in post-production. The fight with Finn was perfect and excellent for his growth but it felt like we needed more on Phasma to make it more meaningful.

HOLDO’S KAMIKAZE MOVE! Goddamn, I had mixed feelings about her through the whole movie but, although I usually dislike the kamikaze martyr trope, at that moment I just adored her. I feel like we could have gotten a bit more personal with her but either way it was tragically perfect.

Luke’s death felt unnecessary. Again, don’t get me wrong- I was afraid I’d hate it but it was a good death, an appropriate and meaningful one; however, it felt anti-climatic and unnecessary in the progression and pacing of the story itself. Perhaps if framed differently... Either way, the only way the manner of his death can be justified to me is if he has an important role (big or small, whatever, but meaningful) as a Force Ghost in ep IX.

Kinda wish we'd have a Luke-Anaking force ghost reunion; the two of them guiding Leia and Rey and even Kylo... But that's just wishful thinking.

The sweet moment between Leia and Luke broke me, I wanted to cry. They deserved so much more time together, hell, WE deserved to see so much more interaction between them as close siblings.

The almost imperceptive glance we get of the Jedi books safely stored in the Falcon! Begging the questions- who and why?

I wanted more Chewie and definitely more Maz! I really, really, REALLY want more Maz as a sassier modern version of Yoda.

Speaking of- loved the Yoda cameo- Mr ‘if you don’t have the balls then I’ll do for you’.

I get a feeling we’ll be seeing DJ again... But, honestly, so many new characters and they COULDN’T BRING BACK LANDO FUCKING CALRISSIAN?!

Please tell me Rey will build her own lightsaber now! And make it a lightsaber pike, it fits her much better than than the Skywalker saber. 

Liked Rey’s parentage reveal, honestly so much better than having her conveniently be the heir of a pre-existing character. Also gives her tragic past much more intensity.

Porgs were cute but screw them, the Vulptex’s were soooooo much better.

I’m conflicted about Snoke’s death... It was brilliant but at the same time it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if his role had been more pronounced in TFA. Still, very good though.

Best of all- HUX BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A DOLL. Deflates his ego beautifully. And when Kylo gives the “shoot with all you got” order when Luke pops up and Hux repeats the order word by word but louder to the troops and Kylo just gives him that ‘bitch, I just said that’ face... Priceless.

I loved BB-8 before but now I ADORE HIM! In Poe’s ship trying to fix the circuit board and then just goes “fuck it” and smashes into the whole thing. xD “Finn, wet, leaking” ! And taking out the prison guards! And piloting a damn AT-AT alone to shoot troopers! He’s so fucking smart and resourceful and just as much a daredevil as Poe, not to mention cute AF! 

BB-9E was interesting we didn’t get much more from him than appearance so BB-8 FTW!

Give me BB-8 merch. All the BB-8 merch!  Pillows, plushies, the drone! I’m in love with all things BB-8!

But when it comes to droids, I wanted more from R2, he felt neglected. Though that move of showing the old recording of young Leia’s distress message to push Luke really was genius.

Wondering if the little boy at the end is force sensitive or if he (or other kids) will have any role in the Resistance, there was a lot of foreshadowing there.

OMG the movie was just sooooo good! The spoilers terrified me but it was so good, for a mid-trilogy movie it was just right. Let’s hope IX lives up to it.

Finally, one last question- WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HANDFUL OF PADAWANS (KNIGHTS OF REN) THAT LEFT WITH BEN??????

I got up and practically saluted when the “in memory of” showed up. It got me in tears.

Ok, end of rambles... for now. 

[domenicosalvaggio]

MY TOP 12 FILMS OF 2019!

Why 12? One great film for every month. You’ll find a large variation in the films I selected. From blockbusters to art house hits. It’s simple, the films on the list resonated deeply and stayed with me for weeks and months. Here we go:

1. JOKER

‪The film that stunned the world and became the billion dollar clown. The cinematography, the acting and the screenplay are all stellar. It’s no fluke that JOKER became a cultural phenomenon. It tapped into the seething cauldron of anger that exists between the haves and have-nots. It takes place in a nebulous version of the 80’s but it could be about the One Percenters of today who greedily take everything and leave scraps for the rest of society. The Joker is everything you heard & more. It’s an indictment of the mental health system in America & an argument for how your parents & environment can make or break you. Joaquin Phoenix is ASTONISHING & Oscar bound. Be forewarned, the violence is brutal & sudden. This is the best film of the year‬. Would love to see this version of Joker go up against the next iteration of Batman. It would be the Atomic Bomb of superhero vs supervillain confrontations.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD

‪Brad Pitt is a magnificent unstoppable beast in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. He is the quintessential laid back California dude. His performance can only be described as effortless. Oscar will recognize him. Leo is poignant as the eternally optimistic fading star. I could’ve spent 10 hrs luxuriating in the world of this film. A wonderful look back at a bygone era. That ending was a total WOWZA. Very moving. Adore this film‬ so damn much.

3. STAR WARS THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

‪I grew up with this Saga. It’s hugely influential and I will always have a soft spot for the adventures that take place in Galaxy far, far away. Don’t listen to the naysayers and go in with childlike wonder and you’ll realize StarWars The Rise of Skywalker is Babu Frik-en Awesome! It’s everything you want from the end of the entire series. Hugely satisfying & emotional with non-stop action. Wept openly when a familiar hero showed up. Palpatine was a pure horror movie monster. Loved the culmination of the Rey/Kylo dyad. I want to say more but won’t get into spoiler territory. This is a great Christmas film to see with family on the biggest screen possible. Wowza!‬

4. PARASITE

‪Bong Joon Ho’s PARASITE is stunning and absolutely bonkers. I don’t want to spoil to much but this is one of the most original films of the year. Layered storytelling with compelling characters who insinuate themselves into others lives to a frightening degree. I’ve already said too much. See it! This film is definitely Oscar bound.

5. KNIVES OUT

‪KNIVES OUT is damn spectacular! The film is an extraordinary modern take on the whodunit genre. It’s CLUE for the new generation. It’s also a biting satire of the upper class. I didn’t want it to end. One of the year’s very best. What a fantastic megastar cast. Daniel Craig is sensational. Ana De Armas is tremendous. Captain America is the ultimate lovable douchebag. The film is both hilarious and suspenseful. It’s so well-written with plenty of twists. Stay away from spoilers. This is pure entertainment!

6. AVENGERS ENDGAME

‪Avengers Endgame is a satisfying, epic finale to the most ambitious movie series ever made. Way more somber & morose than anticipated. Reminded me very much of a DCEU film in many ways. Epic in both scale and emotion. Tony’s final words will echo through eternity in the world of comic book films. It broke every record imaginable and deserves all the accolades. Deserves a best picture nomination but I won’t hold my breath.

7. MIDSOMMAR

‪Midsommar is Nick Cage’s Wicker Man on meth with a steroid chaser. And yes, both films have someone wearing a bear costume. The craft on display is next level; shots, editing, cinematography are all top notch. Such a disturbing film. Florence Pugh gives a powerful performance. ‬This film stayed with me for weeks after I saw it. It does what all great films do: It casts a spell and bewitches you.

8. THE IRISHMAN

‪The Irishmen is Scorsese making the anti-Scorsese film. This is the ugly, seedy, quietly decrepit side of the Mafia. Gone is the thrill of being a MobStar. Replaced by old guys who are falling apart & willing to turn on each other on a dime. Pacino is glorious as Hoffa. Deniro is stellar.‬ This genuinely feels like the end of an era. Grew up watching these guys take over the world and now they’re feeble powerless men with broken souls. A tragic tale and Scorsese’s final word on the underworld universe that made him and his crew famous.

9. SHAZAM

Shazam is pure joy injected straight into your heartmeat. An ode to 80’s films like Goonies, Monster Squad, Big & The Golden Child. Zachary Levi delivers a delightful performance as do the kids & family. Fantastic action, great villain. Top notch VFX and heart. This film has so much damn heart. The Foster family and the message about how a good family gives you strength, confidence and morality is spot on and perfect for the times. It’s the quintessential family film of the year. The post credit scene is “super” AWESOME.‬

10. 1917

‪I implore you to see 1917 on the biggest screen possible & eschew the screeners. You will be dropped into a harrowing, hellish warzone. This film makes you feel like you were there. They should just give the cinematography Oscar to Deakins now. The one takes will go down as legend (I know it’s supposed to be one continuous take but I spotted at least 3 digital cuts. Still an impressive feat). Such a High-anxiety Wowza film. ‪We are inundated with explosions in movies but 1917 has an explosion that’s absolutely terrifying in its realism and verisimilitude. Made me jump out of my seat. This is one of the best films of the year. Filled with Indelible images. What an achievement by Sam Mendes.‬

11. DR SLEEP

Doctor Sleep is an audacious, sparawling horror film with multiple storylines that payed great homage to both the Shining & its sequel. One of the best & scariest films you’ll see this year. It had a scene that pushed the envelope of child violence that had me squirming in my seat. Ewan is stellar as adult Danny Torrance & newcomer Keliegh Currran gives one of the great child performances of all time. There’s a flying sequence that may be the most original moment of flight ever committed on film. Outdoes any Superman flight scene. This is one of the most terrifying films I’ve seen this year. A great time at the movies. Highly recommended.

12. JOJO RABBIT

‪I was profoundly moved by JOJO RABBIT a beautiful, bittersweet comedy about love, empathy and overcoming hate that is driven by fear and lies. Scarlett Johansson is positively luminous in the film. The boy is incredible. This film should not work & yet it had me in tears. A beautifully directed film and one of the best of the year.

Special mention to GLASS, ROCKETMAN, AD ASTRA, HUSTLERS, READY OR NOT, CRAWL, ESCAPE ROOM & BATTLE ANGEL ALITA. All hugely entertaining big screen experiences.

Happy 2020 Folks!

Be good to one another. Be kind. Be driven.

Your Friend, D.

[magnetic-force-of-a-may]

Now I See Daylight: Lover is Taylor Swift’s Brightest Glow-Up

I wrote a ~2,000 word review of Lover. I’m so proud of you @taylorswift buddy, and as someone who majored in literature, I always like to close-read and write about the art I appreciate. and I love love lover, and I hope you’ll like my review (skip to the last paragraph if it’s too long hehe). <3 @taylornation   The musical event of my year transpired last night when Taylor Swift released her hotly anticipated 7th studio album, Lover. It’s Taylor’s 13th year in the game, my 11th year as a Swiftie, and we’ve both never been better. After dancing/crying/listening to Lover since last night, I’m finally ready to write my review of this triumphant, exuberant pop masterpiece.

It’s been a whirlwind past few months, from five holes in the fence to the star-studded, not-without-controversy YNTCD to the gorgeous title track that is “Lover.” As always, Taylor and her team have orchestrated a business-savvy album roll-out, complete with an elaborate, year-long, Easter Egg hunt. There is always much speculation about a Taylor Swift album, and a marketing campaign structured around clues is a smart way of creating the speculation, shifting listeners’ attention somewhere productive; in this case, re-watching the “ME!” music video over and over to catch all the eggs and amp up the video’s views. But to hear Lover in its entirety at the end of an Easter Egg journey is ultimately rewarding and intimate. “I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans,” sings Taylor in “I Think He Knows.” The Lover era confirms her skills as a powerful architect; she builds speculation, constructs masterful bridges (she really went to “bridge city” with many songs on this album), and shows no signs of stopping.

The opening track, “I Forgot You Existed,” is an understated earworm that essentially bids the reputation era (and the Kimye drama of 2016) adieu. “It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference,” Taylor shrugs. Vocally, the song has a colloquial quality; throughout, Taylor speaks, laughs, even trails off. It’s the equivalent of the throat-clearing that launched Track 1 of reputation, “Ready For It.” The first and essentially last song about “drama” on Lover, “I Forgot You Existed” clears the path for the 17 raw, emotional tracks to come.

The immediate next track, “Cruel Summer,” is an absolute pop-bop that immediately takes us to the higher register (Taylor in soprano-mode is sublime). It’s likely the next single (Tay teased the title in the YNTCD video and in a recent Amazon ad). This is the first song on the album that takes us to BRIDGE CITY—Tay practically screams “he looks up, grinning like a devil” in the bridge, and it’s amazing. We get to hear several New Taylor Sounds in this album, and it’s a lovely surprise each time. The trumpet(?) tease that opens “False God” and the way Tay sings “lo-o-o-o-ve” in the chorus prove that it’s all in the details. Structurally, the song staggers the lyrics in the chorus, such that each bleeds into the next (“Religion’s in your lips / Even if it’s a false god.” The religious imagery in Taylor’s past two albums is fascinating). Something similar happens, with even more syncopation (and brass!), in “It’s Nice to Have a Friend,” which is the grown-up, dreamier version of “Mary’s Song.” Speaking of the debut album, the way Taylor sings the bridge of “Cornelia Street” (“Barefoot in the kitchen…”) sounds just like the chorus of “Invisible.” Are these callbacks to her debut album coincidental? Knowing Taylor, likely not.

Indeed, many moments in Lover remind us that the old Taylor is far from dead, as she previously proclaimed in LWYMMD. "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” makes a direct reference to Tay’s song from the Hannah Montana movie (I looove “Crazier”), and in “Daylight” she sings that she used to think of love as being “burning red,” a lyric from “Red.” And Track 12 of Lover, “Soon You’ll Get Better,” is like Track 12 of Fearless, “The Best Day” (one of my all-time favs)—both are songs about Taylor’s mom, Andrea Swift, who is currently battling cancer. “Soon You’ll Get Better” is the album’s #1 tear-jerker, and features Andrea’s favorite band, The Dixie Chicks. It’s the closest thing to country on the album.  

But on Lover, we are undeniably listening to a new Taylor who brings the storytelling traditions of country into the energetic world of pop. This Taylor writes about love from a stronger place of growth and self-confidence. You know that meme that goes, “I’m you but stronger”? That’s Lover to Taylor’s early discography. Tay’s confidence jumps out clearly in ME!, which was the first single Taylor released on 4.26 and honestly still one of my favorite tracks from the album (catch me yelling “HEY, KIDS! SPELLING IS FUN! on tour). I truly love Brendon Urie’s part in that song. Although “ME!”might have a reputation for being a “kids’ bop,” it channels a form of self-awareness that we also get on “Afterglow,” which is about a lover who understands her own flaws: “It’s all me, in my head.” Both “Afterglow” and “ME!” speak to the beauty and possibility of experiencing a storm with someone and recovering together afterwards, be it in the rain or in the light. It’s not just self-awareness that Taylor demonstrates on Lover, but also social awareness—this is the year she finally became vocally political, after all. “YNTCD” was her first LGBTQ anthem. Although some have accused Tay of “queerbaiting” (there’s always some flaw to pick out, isn’t there), the song is truly Taylor’s love letter as an ally to the LGBTQ community. Then there’s “The Man,” which slams the patriarchy by imagining a world in which Taylor is not a woman, but a man. “If I was out flashing my dollars I’d be a bitch, not a baller,” she sings. She also gives Leo Dicaprio a well-deserved roast; while Taylor’s dating life has received extensive scrutiny, tabloids don’t hate on “Leo in Saint-Tropez” the way they lambast Taylor for ‘serial-dating.’ “The Man” also sounds very much like HAIM’s “Forever” (“Dress” on reputation gave me HAIM vibes too). And I’ll forever stan Taylor x HAIM.

In Red, Taylor sings “Stay Stay Stay” to someone who later likely breaks her heart. Interestingly, the song on Lover that sounds like a musical echo to that track is “Paper Rings,” an adrenaline rush of a song about getting married. The song is another perfect 60s bop, and I love all the counting that happens in the song; it lyrically and spiritually channels the “you’re the only one I want” energy from Grease. “I like shiny things,” sings Taylor (we know) “but I’d marry you with paper rings.” And theother elephant-in-the-room song about marriage is of course “Lover,” which has literal wedding vows in its beautiful bridge. Of the three marriage-related songs on this album, “Lover” wins my heart (and it’s Taylor’s favorite song that she’s ever written, I hear). It’s a beautiful ballad that comes straight from the heart. Like the best Taylor Swift songs, it’s personal. We get straight to the time and place, like in “Cornelia Street,” the street on which Taylor used to live. In fact, the song’s melody seems to share the same musical pattern as “Delicate,” and some fans even speculate that the “third floor on the West side” from “Delicate” is on Cornelia Street. Another song is that is very location-specific is “London Boy,” which is a personal favorite for its allusion-heavy lyrics and catchy beat. I know that some Londoners are shaking their heads at the lyrics, but oh well—it’s a cute nod to Taylor’s current boyfriend of three years, Joe Alwyn, who (if you haven’t figured it out by now) is the inspiration behind many of the songs on this album.  Another standout, should-be-a-single track is the aforementioned “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince,” which demonstrates Tay’s exquisite, imaginative storytelling style and mastery of metaphor (“Getaway Car” was the masterful-metaphor song on reputation). I could really write a paper on these lyrics. The Guardian seems to think it’s about living in Trump’s America? It’s a song that, along with “The Archer,” is reminiscent of Lana Del Rey’s dreamy pop (although the latter, while lyrically lovely, has yet to totally grow on me). Taylor has long been outspoken about her love for Lana’s music (they also share a producer: the amazing Jack Antonoff). If this means that Taylor’s music is beginning to take on a slightly indie-rock quality, I’m not complaining. For instance, “Death by a Thousand Cuts” has a slightly Vampire Weekend-quality to it, especially with the freestyle piano tinkling that emerges towards the chorus. But it would be remiss for me to compare Taylor to other artists (although maybe this at least proves that I listen to other music hahahahahah). As she sings in “ME!”, she’s the only one of her(!), and Lover proves this to a T (see what I did there?). From the records it broke even before release day to the pop perfection we’re getting on every track, Lover is bold and brassy, and Taylor knows it.

A few months ago, Taylor wrote in an Elle listicle that she has learned to “step into the daylight and let it go.” That line has indeed revealed itself to be a lyric from the final track of Lover, “Daylight,” a 5-minute long song that beautifully closes the album. “I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you,” sings Taylor to her lover. But she also ends with a monologue: “You are what you love.” For Taylor, to love someone is to also love yourself. And that message of self-love radiates throughout Lover.

Earlier this year, I read an article with the headline, “Sad Taylor Swift is the Best Taylor Swift.” While it’s true that artistic production does often come from places of suffering and heartbreak, Lover steps into the daylight and delivers songs on an album that is wonderfully bright. The album cover, shot by the talented Valheria Rocha, captures the softness and loveliness of this glow. In Lover, Taylor is not our heartbreak princess. And we don’t want her to be, either. She’s braver than “Fearless,” and she’s more than simply “Clean.” I’d like to argue that Taylor is at her best at her brightest, which is to say at her clearest and cleverest. She’s someone who shines, inside and out, in her music and in her life. The illuminating, skin-clearing grace that she delivers on Lover lights up my room. This review is glowing, and so is Lover.

[iwritetrash]

What’s a little mess?

A/N - I have been horrifically inactive lately, and for that I apologise, I have, in general, entirely lost my motivation (and free time) to write, but here’s a little fic @xyalovegood beta’d for me, that I’d completely forgotten I’d written. Enjoy :)

Finn was neat.

It wasn’t that he was a neat freak, not at all, it’s just that he had virtually no possessions and far more free time than one person should ever be allotted.

Finn was still trying to find his way in a world outside the First Order, and with no clue what he could do to be of use to the Resistance, he found himself somewhat unemployed. What few tasks he was allotted, he often completed quickly and efficiently, a mannerism drilled into him by the First Order.

He also had a distinct lack of things to call his own that might serve to fill some space in his room. At that moment in time he had accumulated the following items: 3 standard-issue T-shirts 1 standard-issue long-sleeved top 2 pairs of standard-issue trousers 7 pairs of standard-issue boxer-briefs 1 pair of standard-issue boots 1 Resistance-issued datapad 1 wash kit Poe had found for him to use, including a toothbrush and paste and body wash 5 holonovels Poe had given him while he was in the hospital 1 walking cane to help him get around while his back healed Poe’s jacket

All in all, his possessions hardly took up any space in his room (small by Resistance standards but equipped with a desk, shelving unit, wardrobe and a bed). His possessions could hardly even be considered personal, since none of them actually belonged to him. Everything he had was on loan from the Resistance or from Poe.

A combination of too much free time, too few possessions, and rigorous stormtrooper conditioning left Finn with a room that barely looked lived in. His bed was always made, his wardrobe was organised by style then by colour (but Poe’s jacket hung on the back of his door when Finn wasn’t wearing it), his wash kit sat next to the datapad on his empty desk, the boots waited for him by the door, the holonovels were stacked alphabetically on the shelf, and the walking cane rested in the corner, unused but also unreturned.

Poe’s room was the polar opposite of Finn’s. Constantly cluttered with various knick-knacks picked up on distant planets, it was an explosion of colour, despite the basic white walls. His floor was covered with an exotic rug, his desk was littered with engine parts and mission reports, a small charging station was stashed in the corner for BB-8, his walls were covered in posters and wall hangings, his bed was swallowed up by an immense red quilt he’d brought from home, his shelving unit was filled to the brim with books and holonovels and souvenirs and candles (so many scented candles, surely it was a fire hazard?) and photo albums and photos in frames. A small table sat next to his bed, another item from home, with books piled high on top of it and a lamp resting precariously atop the stack. His wardrobe was full to bursting with flight suits and button-up shirts and T-shirts and uniforms and jackets and sweatshirts and jogging bottoms and pyjamas and a pile of shoes stuffed down at the bottom, ranging from dress shoes to plimsolls. Poe even had a collection of goddamned hair products next to the mirror in the ‘fresher attached to his room.

As unruly and cluttered as Poe’s room was, Finn couldn’t help but feel a deep-rooted desire for his room to be in a similar state. He wanted piles of built-up mementos, things brought from the home he’d left behind, stacks of worn, well-read books, clothes in all colours and styles instead of the standard black, ill-fitting clothes he was stuck wearing for the moment.

He wanted to be busy, busy enough that his room wasn’t in a constant immaculate state, busy enough that his free time was treasured like Poe’s was, busy enough to fill his desk with paperwork and pens and stationery to use. He wanted mess and disorganisation because it meant he had something better to do with his time than incessant cleaning, and more things that suggested his existence.

Fast forward three months and, after a lot of dancing around and a lot of groaning on behalf of Jessika and Rey, Finn and Poe are finally given the gentle shove towards the relationship they both wanted (BB-8 tripped Poe so he fell on Finn, leaving the two of them unable to focus on anything but the other’s lips. After some insistent beeping on BB-8’s part, the two of them were locked in a kiss they had both been craving since… well, since Finn took off his helmet and told Poe he was breaking him out).

Jump forward another two months and Poe is asking if Finn would maybe like to live with him. His answer, of course, is Yes, absolutely yes.

By the time Finn gets around to actually moving in, Finn’s belongings have only increased slightly in volume with the addition of a sketchbook and some charcoals (Poe had bought them for him after he spotted Finn doodling absentmindedly on a napkin, and Finn had been sketching in it ever since), and a textbook for his basic medical training, having finally found something he wanted to pursue, because let’s face it, he wasn’t cut out for fighting in a war. All in all, his things still all fit into a single box, and Poe stares at him as he arrives like Finn just turned up with a snake.

“Where’s the rest of your stuff? Do you need a hand with the boxes?” Poe asks, confused, and Finn shakes his head.

“This is everything.” Finn shrugs. “I just haven’t really managed to accumulate stuff to decorate my room.”

“Oh, right, okay,” Poe replies, gesturing for him to come in, but there’s something in his eyes that worries Finn a little.

“Did I do something wrong?” Finn asks quietly and Poe turns to him with an expression full of shock.

“No, Finn, no, of course you didn’t!” Poe hurries over, shutting the door as he does. “You didn’t do anything wrong, I just forget that you don’t have anything from home and you haven’t had the time to build up as much useless crap as me because of those goddamn First Order bastards…” Poe’s jaw tightens and Finn instantly brings a hand up to brush over the twitching muscle.

“Poe, I’m not there anymore,” Finn whispers gently to him and Poe breathes out in a slow, steady exhale as Finn’s hand brushes along his jaw, then up his cheek, ghosting over his cheekbone. “Besides, I have all the time in the world to accumulate useless crap, and the best part is I can do it with you.”

“Finn…” Poe smiles, but he can’t find the words to express how he’s feeling, so instead he presses his lips against Finn’s, capturing them in a gentle kiss that tells Finn everything Poe wants him to hear. Poe pulls back gently and rests their foreheads together, a small smile lifting up the corners of his lips. Finn returns the smile for a moment, then his eyes drift to the walls behind Poe’s head and he notices something odd. It dawns on him as he pulls away from Poe to take a better look at the room.

The walls are scattered with empty spaces where posters and hangings used to live, half of the shelf unit has been emptied, the desk has been tidied of engine parts and shuffled so all Poe’s things live on one side. Finn can’t see inside the wardrobe but he’s fairly sure there’s space there too.

“Poe…” Finn begins, taken aback and a little choked up by the gesture. “Honey you tidied.”

“I wanted there to be space for you.” Poe comes up behind him, wrapping an arm around Finn’s waist. “I want this to feel like home.”

“It will always feel like home if you’re here, Poe.” Finn turns his head a little to look at the man by his side.

“But I won’t always be there.” Poe whispers quietly. “I want this to still feel like home even while I’m away.”

“Well then, Poe, I promise to fill every single space you have made for me with yet more useless crap to take the place of the old useless crap.” Finn smiles warmly, turning his whole body and looping his arms around Poe’s waist.

“You think you’re up to the challenge?” Poe asks and Finn grins at him.

“I think I’ll manage.” Finn laughs, before catching Poe’s lips in a warm kiss again.

Within a year, Finn’s side of the desk is covered in notes and binders and textbooks as he enters full time training to become a doctor. He’s cluttered the shelving unit with various odds and ends he’s picked up in the few places he’s visited since joining the Resistance, including bobbleheads of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and, much to Poe’s jealousy, General Leia Organa herself (though he would never admit that to her). He’s also got, to name but a few knickknacks, a shell from a beach he visited with Poe, a decorated pot filled with paperclips, and a few candles of his own. Kriff, he even had a jar of sand from Jakku (he still maintains that that planet is what hell looks like) that Jess collected for him on a mission because she thought it would be ‘funny’. Finn hadn’t laughed, but he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of it.

He’s decorated the empty spaces on the walls with posters he found from Poe’s brief stint as the ‘face of the resistance’, much to Poe’s dismay, and some of Finn’s own sketches, which Poe is far happier about. He’s also framed some of his favourite photos, one of Rey that BB-8 had managed to take before she left, and several of him and Poe that, again, BB-8 had taken when they weren’t paying attention, providing Finn with plenty of images of the two of them staring right into each other’s eyes as though nothing was more important.

The room was restored to its formerly cluttered state, with Finn and Poe both busy almost constantly, spending any free moment they had together, leaving no time for tidying. This fact, when combined with the sheer amount of useless crap and important crap alike, made for a very messy room.

And Finn loved it.