#absolutely fucking incredible. op you are AMAZING WOW this art!!!!

[zelskzerker]

Mangadex went down so I read alot 5/7

Let’s CONTINUE reviewing isekai and related stuff.

Youjo to Scoop to Maganou

Chapters 1-13

THUMBS UP. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC is just a normal salaryman dude who has Evil Eye. He doesn’t start out OP in this. He starts off like a normal dude. Practical, yet kind. Not an idiot and not omniscient. An easily relatable adult. But the theming of this manga is spot on making it so that what happens in his isekai ,i.e. him reaching his breaking point and just GLARING WITH CURSE ENERGY explains him as a character and foreshadows actions he takes later. Also of note is the fluffy companion, Lourie. Absolutely adorable princess knight she is. Wanna see her succeed in a similar way to Fran. Except Lourie has way more delusions of grandeur and its funny. Final thing, MC fighting with kicks is pretty based. Art is great.

Koko wa Ore ni Makasete Saki ni Ike to Itte kara 10-nen ga Tattara Densetsu ni Natteita

Chapters 1-19

A reincarnation(kinda) style manga featuring aliens. Both ayylmao and cthulu tiers. Typical of them, they have great art and fights. The MC of this one specifically has a speciality magic that is cool to see. Well written it that it loops back to answer questions and provide backstories at times as well. Gotta like Luck’s pluck. THUMBS UP.

Eiyuu-ou, Bu wo Kiwameru tame Tenseisu

Chapters 1-13

[Insert reincarnation startup here] but this time its a genderbent battle maniac. What more can I say? THUMBS UP. Real nice art.

Saijaku Tamer wa Gomi Hiroi no Tabi o Hajimemashita.

Chapters 1-7

A beuatifully drawn little manga that straddles cute and sad. A little girl is run out of her village due to having a weak skill and ultimately she has to run away from the place that wants her dead. She has to live in the forest and rummage through garbage, but eventually she finds a monster she can tame. THUMBS UP. Feels good for a weak little girl just trying to survive in the world. Also its an isekai but that isn’t really important.

Tensei Kyuuketsuki-san wa Ohirune ga Shitai

Chapters 1-30

THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.  [Insert isekai startup here] but this time its a genderbent vampire. It is also kinda a slice of life adventure. Argento Vampir, the MC, just wants to find a place to sleep. Although plot happens, it can be a bit hard to comprehend in the latters chapters minus money dungeon, and the pacing can feel all over the place. But it is still a nice ride if you accept it as a slice of life lackidasical journey rather than an adventure towards a goal. Also adorable yuri throughout.

Boukenka ni Narou!: Skill Board de Dungeon Kouryaku

Chapters 1-21

This is an odd manga. First off, its a reverse isekai aka dungeons started appearing in the human world and caused a semi-apocalypse. So now salarymen go risk their lives in dungeons. MC gets the power to... do skill points? Whatever. The more important part about the MC is how insane he is. In a cute way. First of all he cannot be recognized as an entity normally. His prescence is just that low. And of course, as an aspiring hero, this hurts. BUT he can be recognized whenever he wears this creepy possibly a scam possibly not wooden mask. ONTOP OF THAT he is incredibly powerful for his means and talented, but is often faced with ridiculous tasks or surrounded by such amazing people that he doesn’t recognize his own skill. Always kinda funny to see character who cannot comprehend their own power and always undersell themselves. THUMBS UP. For just how weird the setting is and lovable the MC is. 

Maougun Saikyou no Majutsushi wa Ningen datta

Chapters 1-18

This one is... tiring. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time its a demon general who is actually a human. And also the Demon Lord is also an isekai person who is roleplaying oda nobunaga. This manga is almost there and has interesting parts, but ultimately its not enough for me. Not interesting enough war machinisms for a war story, not interesting enough mystery for an isekai, and not interesting enough themes or characters for a story. THUMBS DOWN. Seen it all done better by other stuff on this list.

Isekai Meikyuu no Saishinbu o Mezasou

Chapters 1-19

This manga is surprisingly good in two elements. First is the character relationships. The relation between jaded isekai MC Sieg and the crossdressing adventurer Dia is wholesomely and slowly built up and that makes the second element, the boss battle, even better. The boss that is fought is a truly amazingly drawn fight. From what is revealed about the world, about Sig and Dia’s powers, and even just how the boss exists and is drawn is truly superb. Worth reading just for that fight. THUMBS UP. And then after that fight setting up a whole new dimension to Sig/Dia character dynamics going forward makes me want more.

  6-sai no Kenja wa Hikage no Michi wo Ayumitai

Chapters 1-10

Wow. They fucked up a shota [insert reincarnation startup here] story. And the reason why is due to lack of theming. The great reincarnation mangas put their foot down about theming, why the character reincarnated and what their goals or plans are in an aged world. This one has none of that. MC reincarnated just because they wanted an easy life, but instantly messed that up and are right back on the same path as their previous life. Also incredibly weak world building and setting make it VERY underwhelming if compared to any other reincarnation story. THUMBS DOWN. 

Potion-danomi de Ikinobimasu!

Chapters 1-33

This one made a lot more sense once I realized that the author pretty much made their own subgenre of “powerful girl in isekai that has ridiculous crazy godtier unstoppable overpowered skill and is also super smart and scheming their way out of any situation”. Because that happens all the time in this one. Don’t expect the MC to actually make any notable progress towards her main goal though. Despite all her smarts, her own kinda evil nature, constant scheming, and known overpowered abilities keep setting her back 20 steps for every 20 she leaps forward. Fun if not repetitive a bit. THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

Berserk of Gluttony

Chapters 1-35

This is kinda similar to Danmachi in that its in a videogame-esque world with quantifiable levels, is not an isekai, has a specific well explored mythos(Greek gods/gods in general for danmachi, seven deadly sins for Berserk of Gluttony), and most importantly ITS GOOD. The female lead in this is a driven and good person that is never a damsel in distress, yet the MC still supports her from the shadows. The other sins are goofy, tragic, and mysterious. The holy trifecta of admirable characters. Typical of seven deadly sins stories, the MC has to fight of urges, and that the fact that it is tied into the level system really makes the story feel modern in a certain way. With the advent of isekai and more video-game esque worlds, it is a happy marriage of modern and classical concepts. THUMBS UP. 

Henkyougurashi no Maou, Tensei shite Saikyou no Majutsushi ni Naru

Chapters 1-9

THUMBS UP. Gotta love the reincarnation stories. Especially since this one starts with the tale of an immortal vampire and how that kindly demon lord had to be killed by the people he protected and loved. Heartbreaking to see all the conspiracies laid against Nosferatu for his mere existence. And yet there isn’t a bit of ill intent or vengeance in him. Good art, well paced, and just generally has a good air about it that is a bit hard to describe.

[ctl-yuejie]

all of @howdydowdy‘s most loveliest tags for my fanfic, you are so wonderful i don’t know how i deserved the good luck to find you ;A;

1. #OH MY GOD!!!!!!!#it's here!! i'm gonna lose my whole entire mind!!!!!#well i hope everybody's ready for me to scream about every single installment as it comes out because this is the most important thing now#i didn't even know turnip!ah yuan was gonna be in it THIS IS THE BEST SURPRISE!!!!!#i feel so honored that my tags had anything to do with inspiring this incredible au but this is absolutely so much better#even in this short installment i'm getting such a good feel for the three characters who have made an appearance so far!#excited to see your lwj!!!#'the only thing his viewers enjoyed more than his content were the occasional take-downs Wen Qing was dishing out in the comment section'#ahahaha you are so funny#PLEASE EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS AMAZING FIC! I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!!#i don't know all the things that are gonna happen but i have a general idea and guys it's such a good au#op is so creative and brilliant!!!#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me#fic#these are a few of my favorite things

2. #second! installment!! time!!!#i feel like i'm a reader in dickensian london waiting for the new chapter to come out in the magazine#except there's less pollution and i don't have to put coal in an oven#why are those my associations with dickensian london? idk don't worry about it#jiang cheng makes an appearance! okay so i have never really understood him but i've been reading a LOT of fic#and i'm starting to get the picture i think#this is like...just the right amount ominous to get me super excited to see what happens next#WYD JC????#also wwx's characterization is just *chef's kiss*#<3 <3 <3 love u op you're too good to me#puns

3. #ohhhh shit everybody lwj is here! things are happening!!!!#i love all the sibling feels lxc gives me always#in every single fic i read he's like 'lwj i found another boy your age please be friends with him i love you so much'#oOoOoO the shoot will be four whole days i wonder what can happen in four days you guys...#like maybe...mister stoic guqin falling in love with disaster farmer man????#STAY TUNED#you know what just occurred to me is that lwj needs an emotion translator#i'm thinking like luther the anger translator for obama in those key & peele sketches#except it's just someone interpreting all of lwj's stoic faces#i mean lxc can read his faces so you'd think he could do it but idk if lxc himself is emotive enough#i'll have to think about it more

4. #this fic is the gift that keeps on giving#slowly introducing new characters...now we're meeting my sweet baby wen ning...i don't deserve this happiness...#also wei wuxian's carefree chaotic energy is just to die for#and what's this? jiang cheng appears on the horizon? narrowing his eyes at a tumbleweed that rolls across his path#his spurs jingling menacingly as he stalks ever closer?#hold on to yer hats cowboys i smell some Plot approaching#the untamed#fic#(okay also 'explosive arts & crafts projects' ahaha you are the best at these descriptions)

5. #oooooooo things are really coming together my dudes...#more jiang cheng content! okay he is really growing on me. grouch with a heart of gold. huge schemer. just wants to make fun of his BIL with#his brother but feels like he has to prioritize his ~responsibilities~#he loves wwx and understands what motivates him and at the same time just wants him to like. chill#the air quotes ahaha#that wwx makes them and that jc hates it#also i think my favorite image from this is the fact that one of the draws of the tv show is that all the cultivator hosts are handsome#which means that when lxc needed someone to cover for him he just went to the producers like#'no worries my little brother is also super hot so he should meet all your requirements'#'is he personable? no. does he speak in complete sentences? also no. but are the viewers gonna go batshit over his face? absofuckinlutely'#and the producers were like 'oh yeah dude say no more'#this is so fun i'm really enjoying these updates!!!

6. #not the city centre itself but a nearby mound#which sounds unusual and ominous#honey you got a big storm comin'#lwj is getting there early...oh fuck the suspense...#also 'either this is just how show business works or no one really knows what they are doing' why not both lwj??#ahaha i am cackling and steepling my fingers imagining how this is all gonna go down#babe i'm glad you decided not to give me spoilers because it is so fun watching things unfold

7. #i'm just imagining the perspective of the film crew showing up and it's a barren wasteland#they're like...wtf kind of establishing shots are we supposed to take of this??#don't worry guys the cutest child on the planet lives here. just get some footage of him frolicking in the turnip fields#the audience will lose their effing minds

8. #i love jc's logic like 'no one can find out about this or it'll be bad for the family. how to accomplish this? better get a film crew'#also i love how he's lowkey bitter that no one wants to interview him AHAHA jc you peach#and he's like 'maybe i'll watch the show. JUST TO MAKE FUN OF WWX FOR NO OTHER REASON'#wow i'm like becoming really fond of this character op!!!

9. #AHAHA love this image of lwj staring after nhs as he traipses down the street#'fancy birds? tf kinda innuendo is that??'#also lwj deciding to wear all white so that people won't approach him ahaha damn where is my equivalent outfit??#MATCHMAKER LXC STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!#did lxc even have to go out of town for real or was it all a setup to get lwj and wwx in the same place??#wouldn't put it past him tbh#lwj is so perfectly taciturn here i love it#and not just because he's not personable or something it's because he's having FEELINGS#also because wwx never shuts up lol#'he is doomed just like before because even this unknown wei wuxian he wants to be close to and find out who he is'#ughughguhgghhghhh how are you finding and pushing all my buttons???#hot DAMN i am HERE for this!!!

10. #i've now read this three times and i love it more every time!#you have such a way with words and i love how you're getting into wwx's head#it can be hard to relate to him with how dense he can be but you make it all seem incredibly plausible and realistic!!#i love him like 'wonder what it would be like to share a hotel room. it's totally normal that i'm thinking about this'#and like. you show how he got there in his thought process and it makes total sense!#also: lwj as eye candy YES EXACTLY#nhs is the perfect choice for a tv interior designer expert. that is SO what he would be doing in a universe with tv about interior design#okay and MOST IMPORTANTLY we have come to the part in the gifset!! this is the best crack that ever caught feels omg ilysm#demonic blood pool WEI YIIIIIIIING#wen ning being all yeah goth guys and blood pools two great tastes that taste great together#i love everything about this and it was so worth the wait. very excited for the next installment!!!

11. #you are LITCHRALLY killing me with this sharp characterization!! how are you nailing all their voices!!!!#nhs just in it for the hashtag drama that's so spot on omg. breaking all the rules HE wrote just so he can torture jc#all 'are you seeing this??? ARE YOU??' poor nhs and jc having to watch these two lovesick fools make googly eyes at each other#for YEARS and not REALIZE it well it's your lucky day mr. fan man because soon the whole world will see this UST and validate you#okay but what i love the most is jc the masochist being so uncomfortable he has to keep turning off the video ahahahaha#wangxian out here romancing so hard that jc needs a barf bag. or therapy. or selective amnesia.#you ever get secondhand mortifying ordeal of being known? that's what's happening for jc here#it's mortifying watching other people experience the ordeal of being known. this is the hardest i have ever related to jc#it's like oh fuck. lwj loves wwx and it's so obvious. oh my god. i'm so embarrassed.#wwx is so gone for lwj and it's right there on his face for anyone to read. i'm in agony.#ALSO 'jiang cheng can feel his head get hot and he drops the phone on the table like it personally betrayed him' THANK U FOR THIS#everything about this is the best and my favorite#ahhh i'm so excited for the next chapters and so glad they're already up so i can read them right now!!!!

12. #lxc shooting lwj pointed looks every time the jiang sect comes up in conversation for the past 13 years!!!!! he would!!!!!!#i love the way you describe wwx through lwj's eyes. the love just shines through#also you are so insightful about his character but what else is new??? you're the character breakdown QUEEN#OH MY GOD AH YUAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111#i am writing these tags as i read or that would have been the first tag it's SO important#i mean my tag isn't important it's incoherent but AH YUAN IS IMPORTANT!!!!!#you really want me to die. you really want me to be all the way murdered.#this image of lwj just standing there with impeccable posture one arm behind his back the other holding a sword in the air randomly#with this squirmy lil bab clutching at his clothes and reaching up on his tiptoes#okay dang i didn't know there was gonna be action! intrigue!! an ambush!!!#this fic really has it all#bamf!wwx and rescuer!lwj#battle couple ftw#NOT TO MENTION DRUNK!LWJ!!! SELF SACRIFICING!LWJ!!!!!#how am i supposed to live knowing lwj Did That#ughghughghgughgh#'at least i made him happy.' at least you made him happy???!?!?!?#just let me live for a second!!!#just one second though then i'm gonna read the next chapter

13. #awwww jiang 'I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU I'VE JUST BEEN CUTTING ONIONS' cheng gets a tear in his eye#they are...a fambly.....#my man lxc coming thru for the people!! title of my upcoming inspirational children's book: Lan Xichen Takes a Stand#op you made me love jiang cheng. i'm in it now

14. #omg i forgot that you had written this and sent it to me weeks ago so when i read it just now i was like...obviously that's what happened???#i had already just fully incorporated it into my understanding of these characters in my head and forgotten how it got there#so this was the BEST surprise#i can't believe you. putting ah yuan and bunnies in the same chapter because you love drowning me in cute#soft domestic adoptive dad content???? ugh i literally need to lie down and go into a coma.#just a lil coma. to recharge my feels.#i don't know what you could possibly be putting in the 'extra' but i am. vibrating with excitement!!!!#this is one of my favorite fics ever and i'm forever happy that you came up with this amazing idea and executed it so well#I APPRECIATE AND ADORE YOU!!!#HEART EYES EMOJI#these are a few of my favorite things#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me

15. #OH MY GOD NHS MASTERMINDED ALL OF IT#this is so perfect i'm in awe!!!!#of course he did!!!!#also 'he had been very invested in this romance he had even painted themed fans for this' ahahaha#these schemes! these machinations!! he got lxc out of the way! he put the idea in jc's head! ahhhhh!#mr. fan man

[entamewitchlulu]

Homura’s Flash Reviews [Winter 2019]

What’s up nerds I finished watching all of the anime I was following through winter 2019 and I am READY to TALK ABOUT THEM

The Price of Smiles

On a faraway planet, two nations are engaged in a long running war.  Princess Yuki of the Kingdom of Soleil, however, has been kept in the dark about the ongoing conflict, until her best friend is killed during a skirmish.  Meanwhile, in the Empire of Grandiga, a foot soldier named Stella tries her best to stay smiling through the horrors of war.  Presenting the war through their eyes on both sides of the conflict, both girls will affect the flow of the planet’s future and the outcome of the war.

Whew okay, this one was absolutely a hit or miss show. It started off really strong, with some actually decently designed and built characters, some good dynamics shown off between characters within just a few moments, and some not too shabby animation.  Plus, the OP is a jam.  Unfortunately, by around episode 5, the animation had taken a steep dive, and the theme of the show seemed to have turned into WAR IS BAD WAR IS BAD WAR IS BAD as slammed into you repeatedly with a baseball bat, by killing off one or two named characters per episode, and making you absolutely feel like hope was completely dashed.  IMO, the ending was a relief and a joy, though I can absolutely imagine many people feeling sort of cheated, because

[SPOILERS] after all of that pain, death, and sadness, it sort of just...wraps up with a neat little bow.And dammit, I feel like I EARNED that happy ending, as stupid and unrealistic it might have been.  I feel like it was worth watching just for a few of those shots in the last episode. [END SPOILERS]

Unrealistic, to be sure, and definitely emotionally exhausting, this isn’t one that I would actively recommend, but perhaps it’s easier to swallow when you’re not waiting weeks between episodes.  Honestly I would rather have had these characters in a totally different series.

overall: 5/10

The Promised Neverland

Emma, Ray, and Norman, three incredibly smart eleven-year-olds, live together with the rest of their family at the Gracefield House, an idyllic refuge for orphans where there is always enough to eat, they get to spend all day in play, their ever-caring mama is always there for them, and every orphan is adopted by the age of twelve. But when they learn a horrifying secret about the House, the children must begin a battle of minds to outwit their caretakers and escape into the unknown world beyond the House.

God wow okay so that was a fucking RIDE.  I had not read the manga or heard anything about this one until everyone started going apeshit over the upcoming anime, so I had NO SPOILERS.  And HOLY S H I T.  This was incredible.  The animation and music direction are spot on, the designs are so nice and clean and still capture the essence of the manga’s art.  And the twists!! holy shit the TWISTS.  I don’t want to spoil a damn thing so people can watch this and experience it on their own!  I’d be so shook after an episode that i would LITERALLY be shaking!  The cast is so endearing and amazing, and I can’t talk about the plot twists enough.  Excellent excellent excellent!

Though, unfortunately, there is one thing that does drag this show down quiteee a bit...and that’s the racist caricature of Sister Krone. She is almost lifted straight out of an old racist cartoon about Black people and it’s absolutely discomforting. Definitely do recommend that if that’s something that will discomfort you, that you either skip this show, or at least you have the knowledge that it’s coming.

overall: 9/10

Mysteria Friends

Two princesses, Anne and Grea, become friends at a magic academy, each episode following their daily lives from shopping outings to performing in a school play as the leads.  Based on the Granblue Fantasy mobage.

Ohhhh my gosh okay this one was SO CUTE....not really anything happened in any episode, it was very much a magical slice of life show, but GOD IT WAS SO CUTE!!  Anne and Grea are very much in lesbians with each other, and while it’s definitely queerbaiting as they never actually do anything with it to confirm their relationship, I didn’t care that much because they were just so adorable.  And with each episode only being 15 minutes, it was an easy and relaxing show to watch at the end of watching those last two shows. 

overall: 8/10

Mob Psycho 100 II

Following the first season, this time our powerful psychic Mob meets new friends and new enemies, all while learning how to accept and allow himself to feel the emotions he’s kept under wraps for so long.

Just as good as the first!! This is definitely one of the best shows to tackle the concept of pacifism that I’ve ever seen, doing it in a way that’s sensitive without being naive. Once again, Reigen steals the show by being the world’s first reasonable adult in a shonen anime, and the rest of the new cast of characters are also each fun and lovable in their own way, even the villains!  Animation is on point to wild effect, and the atmosphere of this show honestly blows me away every time.

overall: 9/10

Ace Attorney s2

Continuing the courtroom shenanigans of Phoenix Wright, Maya Fey, and friends, this seaon focuses on a series of cases, most of which all lead back to the same unfinished case once prosecuted by Mia Fey.

Well that was fun!  It was pretty much the same as season one in terms of writing/plot/etc.  Fun, comical, a little sad at times, and full of fun characters who can point hard enough to cause wind gusts that knock other people over.  Is this a courtroom or is this Dragon Ball Z??

overall: 8/10

[ministryofgamers]

The FIX - Bren

I’ve been doing YouTube for a LONG time now, well 8 years certainly sounds like a long time to me.. but eerily doesn’t feel like a long time. We’ve been through so many changes and trails, trying different things, making movies, TV shows, Interviews, Press events... you name it, as a content creator for the video game community I’ve made it. I’ve always wanted to be a successful youtuber when it came to video-games, these days that usually means you have to figure out a silly name and play lots of games and make a fool of yourself (and yeah i’ve done that too). A youtube star is someone that has millions of followers, uploads daily, sometimes twice daily, but I have none of those things... does that mean i’m not successful? I dont’ think so. I’ve conducted interviews with lead game designers, been to top tier invite only press functions, had 2 shows on UK TV for video games, a movie, and run an active community driven youtube channel that has a great gathering of awesome people. So why is it that I feel like I’ve failed somehow? is it because I didn’t find the right audience? is it because I didn’t get launched to super stardom for my time as a games journalist... would I even want that if it came knocking... i’m not even sure I would like it to be honest. It's strange, I've always felt like I’ve wanted to be successful in making video content, films, art, always wanted to entertain and make something that would make someone say “wow” and I have done that, but on a small scale.

Now on Youtube I see things are very different, attention spans are miniscule, kids are starting channels left right and centre, no knowledge of how to frame a good shot, how to use a decent microphone, no knowledge on how to make a proper video... vertical videos of cats being dicks, fail videos, pranks, challenges, all of that stuff to me is benine crap,  redundant. I feel the same about reality TV and how most formats prey on schadenfreude( german phrase meaning "to take pleasure in anothers missfortune") I find it nausiating that television, for the most part, has become so mundane, fuelled by adverts and les than average production values. I recently watched a shocking piece of output form the BBC where they seem to have forgotten that sound levels are important... as well as whitebalance and did the OP forget his tripod? Hand held is ok, but this chap looked like he'd had a bit too much rum in his coffee that morning.  

Anyway, back to Youtube. I'm a part of a few "small youtuber" groups on facebook, basically if you don't have 500,000 subs these days you are considered to be pretty small time. And in these groups I see thousands of the same posts everyday "yay i got 20 subs" or "how many views do i need before i can monetize." and the best one "sub for sub anyone?" honestly pretty much everyone on those groups that i've looked at (except one or two) literally have no fucking idea what they are doing and couldn't make a video if it meant saving their own life. Time and time again I see the same shit, constantly. It honestly makes me Wince at the thought that these kids are about to embark on the most dissapointing crusade of thier lives.  I started youtube in 2009 and it was a bloody good time to do so as there were pretty much no such thing as lets plays or video game shows etc... we had an amazing show, 4 presenters, heavily edited reviews, sketches, comedy! And best of all we were in with the big boys, interviewing people I never thought i'd ever get to meet!  "But Bren, why didn't you just keep going with that?" Well, thats a whole different story and i'll just sum it up by saying there were differences of opinion and it fell apart.

Starting GameGazmTV was very freeing... I had decided that I needed a platform where I didn't care too much about what content I put on it... I had boxed up my camera equipment and used a phone to film most of the stuff for it... we slapped half naked manga girls all over it with flames and rock music in the hope that we would offend someone enough to just come and look at the channel... even the name "GameGazm" was fucking ridiculous. It wasn't long before we started to slowly change everything. Removing the semi naked girls, and some "dead weight" and started to clean up the brand... but it didn't do anything really.. I started to slip back into the "everything must be good" routine, so started heavily editing videos again, making bigger productions, adding more visual effects to everything... graphical updates, weekly updates, started doing let's plays for more content, live streams... then by year 4 we changed the name fully to Ministry of Gamers in the hope of finally shedding the GameGazm crappy beginnings. And now I've suddenly realised... that I hate most of it... I look back at a lot of our content and pretty much 90% of it I could throw in the bin and no one would bat an eyelid. The content I love the most on our channel is 2 videos... Solstice and Top Gun. 2 videos that I think are actually really worth watching... the rest of them i'm not that bothered about... but solstice and top gun both took 6 weeks each to make... thats a lot of time... and then the most successful video on our channel is a video about a fucking controller that we shot in an hour because we thought "why not" I couldn't give a crap about that controller... but its the only video that i've spent the least amount of time on and its the most successfull thing ive ever made.... talk about a kick in the teeth... thats some way to really get yourself down.

Up until this point if you asked me is YouTube worth doing, should I start a channel? I would have said " yeah its really fun to do, and totally worth it." but ask me right now? i'd say "no... don't do it.. its really not worth the stress you'll put yourself through, its not worth seeing comments like "shut up and stop reviewing games you fat cunt." on a video that you spent DAYS writing, recording, editing.  Its not worth making any video that takes you longer than an hour to do, because honestly... your effort is the last thing youtube gives a crap about." Youtube does not care if you stayed up for a week straight slaving over an edit, making sure your colours are good, sound is balanced, Youtube doesn't care if you spent days crafting a CGI intro for your channel, making custom graphics, building a brand! It DOESN'T CARE... but make a controller video, slap it up, and youtube will give you £300 and a pat on the head..... great... just film your cat doing something retarded and you'll be a millionaire in no time. don't worry about talent... its not required here.

Basically youtube isn't the kind of platform I would like to be on. But not being on Youtube is like saying "I don't want to be on the biggest viewing platform available." throughout my video carrer I've only ever really been interested in making content about videogames. It's my passion so what else would I do? I have a couple of thoughts about other avenues I could explore. But if I really cared about them then I would have been doing it already. No I still care about making content for videogames but now its time to change the focus... change the direction because something has to change... i'm no longer going to use youtube as a platform to give content thats about something else.. i'm going to make it about ME and my team as people, its not a show anymore. I want it to document OUR struggle, OUR journey through a project, how we as people are focused on making entertainment. Youtube doesn't need another gaming channel, it needs to hear about how crushingly difficult it is to get anywhere with content creation, and thats where I want to be now. I'll be working on something I really care about, and i'll provide updates to that on youtube.

I can't keep going the way I have been, a constant viscious circle of dissapointment and failiure, over and over. I'm done trying to fill a gap that just doesn't need to be filled. There are other ways I can use my time and thats the most precious thing to all of us.. becasue there really isnt' that much of it.

Why have I written this? I guess to just put it all down somehwere other than my head.. the more I write at the moment the more I feel it leaving me.. literally like ive turned a tap on and the water was filthy and its slowly starting to clear up. My main point to all of this though was to fully understand why i'm so successful at failing, I make incredible work that never gets anywhere and no one really cares that much about, but its still MY work, and even if only one person sees it and is entertained by it, then to me, i've won. So in closing, I am a youtuber, and a fucking successful one.  And no one really knows it...... yet, and of course i'll never give up, I firmly believe I have something to offer a wide audience, i'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I feel like its my mission to figure it out, I owe it to myself to keep trying! and always give my best. Take pride in what you do, and if you believe in something enough, you will get it... after a long bitter road of absolute mental turmoil.... you'll get it.

Bren.

[lovecrimers]

In honor of the100th episode of Supernatural Misha has worked on (He’s worked on 100, only acted in 99 though) - I decided to share with you guys, 100 reasons that I love @mishacollins as a sort of tribute/celebration to him. He’s done so much to change my life and I just wanted to put my love for him out into the universe. I also made this into a twitter thread which can be found HERE.

1.) He gives me strength to get up and get through my day whether he knows it or not. 2.) He cares about his fans & constantly strives to show just how much. 3.) He cares about minorities that the struggles we face daily. 4.) He cares about the LGBTQ+ community & has gone to far length to prove just how much. 5.) He cares about mental health & the issues that affect those of us who suffer because of our MH issues. 6.) He cares about disadvantaged youths and wants to give them an equal playing field (Free high school, etc) 7.) He cares about disadvantaged groups in general & proves it daily through his work with Random Acts. 8.) He cares about lonely Senior citizens & tried to brighten an otherwise lonely day for them (Valentines Day). 9.) He funded Random Acts - a registered 501(c)(3) charity on his own because he's the change he wants to see. 10.) He constantly runs charity events throughout RA & gets his fans excited to donate & put good out into the world. 11.) He runs GISHWHES - the biggest scavenger hunt in the world and most of proceeds from that go to charity too. 12.) His scavenger hunt often encourages others to commit random acts of charity towards strangers. 13.) He cares about the state of our country and how the political turmoil affects the everyday citizen. 14.) He is extremely invested in politics and is not afraid to speak his voice on things that offend him. 15.) He fights for the people. Not just his people, or my people - but all people. 16.) When he makes mistakes, he owns up to them and apologizes even when he doesn't have to. 17.) He is active on social media and gives us (his fans) peeks into his daily life, which he knows we always want more of. 18.) He is a general friendly person who goes out of his way to be an angel to everyone he meets. 19.) The money from his Castiel photo ops at conventions goes to charity. 20.) Growing up, he experienced the struggle of poverty & goes out of his way to level the playing field for others in that situation. 21.) He's EXTREMELY humble about his accomplishments and doesn't brag about his good deeds. 22.) To date, he's still shocked and made to blush when fans express how he has changed their lives. 23.) He wears safety pins when he can, to let people know he is an ally and will protect people who need protection. 24.) He's a published poet and has a way with words that speaks to millions. 25.) He is EXTREMELY intelligent and uses his ideas and intelligence for nothing but GOOD. 26.) He is an amazingly talented actor & with that talent has become one of the most loved characters on Supernatural. 27.) He plays himself on Supernatural (an angel) 28.) He engages his fans, even going as far as answering questions other actors refuse to. 29.) He's selflessly shared extremely personal stories of his struggle at conventions in front of large crowds. 30.) He supports intersectional feminism. 31.) He supports nasty women and acknowledges the world needs us and has talked publicly about it 32.) Even though shippers are historically snubbed in the SPN fandom, he gives us a voice. 33.) He's gone as far as to physically "Ship" Destiel and that warms the cockles of my heart. 34.) He married his high school sweetheart. 35.) His relationship with his wife is absolutely beautiful and a goal for anyone with a significant other. 36.) The love he has for his wife is visible whenever he talks about her, he softens up and smiles. 37.) He supports his wife's business endeavors no matter what they may be & defends her accomplishments. 38.) He & Vicki renewed their vows dressed in drag at an Albertsons and that in itself is amazing. 39.) He takes the time to maintain his beautiful marriage & goes on spiritual retreats with his wife. 40.) His family in itself is pure and goals for anyone with a family. 41.) He's a busy man but still takes time to be a great father to his kids and it shows. 42.) He gives us access to his time with his kids sometimes and it never fails to put a smile on my face. 43.) He brings his kids to conventions sometimes and it's adorable - there's NOBODY who doesn't love it when he does that. 44.) There are tons of instances where he has been seen comforting distressed fans on his own free will. 45.) He encourages fans to say hi to him if we see him out and about. 46.) He takes fans out to do fun things during his meet n greets, something which no other actor does. 47.) He has publicly stated he appreciates fanworks whether it be art, fanfic, crafts etc. 48.) He built his own house, proving he loves to see the fruits of his effort. 49.) He built most of the furniture in his house further proving he's a hard worker. 50.) He interned at the White House during the Clinton administration 51.) He made the engagement ring he proposed to Vicki with. 52.) He invited fans to join him during his bike ride for E4K this year. 53.) He teaches his kids about healthy eating while teaching them HOW to cook. 54.) He ran over 50 miles for charity & anyone who's ever even ran 1 mile knows how brutal that must have been. 55.) In 2011, he was named TV’s “Best Non-Human” by TV Guide which proves he's actually an angel. 56.) His smile is singlehandedly the most beautifully infectious smile I have ever laid eyes upon. 57.) He looks good in literally anything. 58.) When I'm feeling crappy about life, I just look at pictures of him and I instantly feel better. 59.) His charity is in partnership with a crisis support group that has helped thousands of people like me during hard times. 60.) He's not afraid to be emotional publicly and has even publicly cried before over issues that matter to him. 61.) His hard work and dedication inspire me to want to reach MY own goals. 62.) Seeing everything he's accomplished makes me not want to give up. 63.) His sense of humor is brilliant and truly funny. 64.) He's not afraid to make himself the butt of a joke and that kind of humor is extremely attractive. 65.) His humility (that I touched on earlier) transcends into everything he does whether it be his job, family or charity. 66.) He directly helps his fans - ex of which can be helping w/homework, sending them autograph replacements etc. 67.) He has posted his phone number publicly with the sole purpose to have conversations with fans. 68.) He truly regrets working on a movie about sexual assault & openly discourages people from watching it so we don't get triggered. 69.) He steps out of his comfort zone sometimes to face issues in the fandom that no other actor wants to. 70.) He takes the time away from his family to come to conventions for his fans even when he's extremely tired. 71.) His smile lights up any room. 72.) He very clearly says "fuck you" to gender norms & constantly does things like paint his nails. 73.) He encourages people to vote, even if it's not for his candidate. 74.) He acknowledges the importance of white people being allies to minorities. 75.) He is extremely humble about his incredible good looks. 76.) He takes the winning gishwhes team on a vacation with him every year. 77.) He has been known to talk about very personal issues that resonate with fans during his meet n greets. 78.) He is nice to literally everyone (I'm serious, even to the people he dislikes: note, trump) 79.) This is kind of unrelated toa lot of the other reasons but he's THICC HAVE YOU SEEN HIS THIGHS? wow. 80.) He's an anchor for a lot of people who constantly struggle with depression (such as myself) and he guides us back to a good state of mind. 81.) He's interested in the environment and he proved that during E4K this yr by bringing a geologist to talk to us about the terrain. 82.) His interactive gishwhes competitions inspire people to think outside the box. 83.) He's simply beautiful like have you SEEN a picture of him? 84.) Everything he does is to better this world and community. 85.) He is the purest person I have ever come across in my life and I've come across quite a few people. 86.) His smiles are always genuine, you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. 87.) He has struggled so much in his life and even then, came out successful. He is GOALS for all of us. 88.) He understands the reality behind a lot of these online "challenges" such as the ALS challenge & truly cares about the causes. 89.) He is extremely work oriented and has been known to stay on set way beyond what he was supposed to to film & perfect his scenes. 90.) His voice is pretty much the single most incredibly beautiful thing I have ever been graced with the opportunity to hear. 91.) He cares about orphans, refugees & homelessness. 92.) I truly believe that he loves each and every single one of his fans. 93.) He's an imaginative goofball & that shows through with the items he has for gishwhes every year. 94.) He was the best thing to ever happen to me. 95.) This man is the epitome is what one should strive to be when it comes to their attitude, life & personality 96.) Whenever there's a tragedy in a foreign country, he tries to tweet his support in their native language. 97.) He continually shows he cares about the fans that go through struggles and need support. 98.) When I first found out about his past, I promised myself I'd stop self injuring & make something out of my life. I am now clean of self injury and have been for a while. 99.) He unknowingly helped save me from one of the worst depressive periods of my 26 yr old life where everything seemed bleak & hopeless. 100.) His love for life saved MY life when I was hellbent on ending it last year and I will be eternally grateful to him for that.

So yeah, if you ever want to even begin to question my love for Misha Collins- don’t. I will love him fiercely until my dying breath.

Congrats on the milestone, Misha. We love you.

[foggyinjapan-blog]

31st Oct. Last Day of the Month

I woke up early this morning so I can cruise down to Fushimi Inari Shrine and complete the 2 hour hike. I wanted to do this last time but again, not enough time. I wear my active wear today because it’s going to be huge. I’m ready for this!

Jump on ya bike, and I think it’s going to take about an hour to get there… I set off and I’m already hungry. A coffee and banana just doesn’t cut it. Stop at 7/11 for sushi break, oishii!!

I make it to around Kyoto Station area and see a 2nd street, hmmm so tempted but maybe on the way back! About 5 minutes down the road there’s another one, it’s a sign and I must go into this glorious op shop! I have a look around and it’s all pretty spenny. There’s a pair of shoe for about $400 AUD. Wow that is huge! The cheapest thing I found was about $20. Nah i cant be bothered, I need a bargin in my life. Miho sent me an email yesterday with some 2nd hand shops near my accommodation so I’m really keen to check it out, maybe tomorrow.

It takes about 2 hours to get to the shrine! Not exactly what I expected haha, I’m already tired. I walk in and there’s soooo many people! If there’s one thing I’ve learnt while being in Japan, it’s that I absolutely hate big groups of people. Who would’ve thought!? It stresses me out so much and I tend to be a fast walker so get stuck behind a lot of people. I don’t know how the fuck people dawdle all the time.. it must take them 3 times as long to get to places! I head up the passageway and through the red structures of Fushimi Inari Shrine (the most popular of Inari because it sits at the base of the mountain). It truly is amazing but it’s so loud and everyone has forgotten how to walk. If 1 person stops for a photo, then we all have to stop apparently. I wonder how many photos I photo bombed!! I’m sick of it! Let me get higher up where none of you fools want to climb!

Finally bliss. The people are slowly dying off because I am climbing higher and higher. There’s still a few around and we are all just as happy to not see so many people. This is what I came to see!! I reach a section where there is a beautiful view of the whole of Kyoto! Amazing! I carry on and jeez I’m working up a sweat. I haven’t done this much exercise since Adelaide, this is killing me… No-one is overtaking me so I think I’m going really fast. Stoked on efficiency. I reach the top and wonder through the shrines. They’re incredible. At the very top I notice 3 candles burning and next to it a huge, scary spider staring into my soul. If you think Aussie spiders are scary you need to look at this… it was black with yellow stripes and red on it. I wonder if it’s deadly? I buy myself 2 postcards from the store as a memoir. There are many shrines as you walk up the mountain, and at each shrine there is a store I couldn’t even begin to imagine walking that much of an incline to get to work every day! I guess we have it pretty lucky in a ski town where we only have to walk 20 minutes.

I head down and I am charging down. I can hear the muscles in my legs cry for help haha. I need coffee. Real coffee. There is a cafe almost near the bottom which I remember from last time. It is owned by an English man and they have a real coffee machine there! The excitement is killing me! None of this automatic bullshit! I order a cappuccino and a chicken, hummus sanga. Delicious and the coffee was like home.

At the bottom of the shrine there is a street market full of food stalls. Just a quick look of everything and I order some pork dumplings! Delicious, yum! Quick Google of where I want to go next. Maybe the Nanzen-ji temple.

On my way I get a little lost,I reach a dead buuuut pretty sure there’s supposed to be a road here not a train track!! Thank God I have the electric assist on my bike! I arrive at the base of Jojuin temple. The streets around here are pedestrians only and they are lined with souvenir, food, chopstick and many more shops. Lots of people again… I hate it and I’m leaving! I don’t even go in the temple because I’m so overwhelmed. I went there last year though so I don’t feel too bad. I was there with my mum and dad and we were lucky enough to see the most amazing performance of a dragon festival. It was truly incredible.

I find my bike and make my way up to Nanzenji temple. I have to make my way through a massive group of school kids, there’s maybe 100 of 10 year old kids. They were very cute and every now and then one of them would shout out HELLO! Haha bless, they must’ve just learned that in school. In amongst this chaos I take the wrong turn. The sign back where the school kids were said 300m and I have done maybe 1km since then. I take the next right towards the mountains and hope for the best. I happen to stumble across a temple named Eikando Zenrin-ji. At first I was a sceptic because it cost a little more to enter than other ones I have visited. I walk in and I am speechless. The colours of the trees are incredible. I take my shoes off and walk in the temple. First is a Zen garden which then leads you in a beautifully unique, wooden walk way. As I am walking I can hear someone singing. It sounds like a ceremony is in progress, it’s getting louder. I walk through the passage way and around a beautifully structured building. The doors are open and tourists are welcome to come in and watch the ceremony take place. This man’s voice is incredible! He manages to make a tone that I can’t even begin to describe. I sit and watch for a while and as it’s wrapping up I walk out and keep following the passage. The next building along had amazing art work on the wooden fixtures outside. I’ll put a photo up. So bright and colourful! Make me happy looking at it. The next along the passage are some stairs. They are very steep and I can see some elderly people struggle with them. I climb up and the view is amazing! I can see parts of Kyoto with a temple in the foreground. Lovely. After the temple I explore the garden. It truly is amazing, the colours are so vibrant. Some trees are even a very golden yellow. Everyone is getting a photo in front of one particular one so I give it a miss. There’s a restaurant that overlooks the lake and there’s an island in the lake connected by a bridge. Imagine living and owning this garden! Autumn is definitely the right time of year to come!

After leaving Eikando Zenrin-ji absolutely amazed, I make my way down to the Nanzen-ji temple. First stop is the Zen garden which was a highlight of the last trip. Still amazing, I sit alone with my thoughts for a while. The temple itself was great as well, it showed different parts of a home with many unique art works within the walls, gold being the primary colour. It has a rock garden too, I wonder if the rocks were there originally or if someone moved them? Their shape is so defined and different, someone must’ve sourced them from the mountains. The whole place looks so different in autumn. I was here last at the end of winter/beginning of spring which meant no leaves and barely any flowering (did see some cherry blossoms though which was incredible)!

I am bloody exhausted. It feels like I’ve done so much exercise today and my butt is so sore from the bicycle. Back home for me. It take ages making my way across the city and trying to dodge so people. I take the longest shower in the world because I have deserved it!! I’ll even try not to pass out of the floor. Then the bloody water turns freezing cold ahhhh! With the shower coins you only get a certain amount of litres to use and then it shuts the hot water off… brilliant! I’m not too worried though because unfortunately I’m used to Nissen showers in Falls Creek and they are so bipolar!!

Considering going out for dinner but I think my legs have stopped working all together. Shit I’m not going anywhere i am so dead!! Noodles and chuhai, hai! Night!

Ps. I hope my body can function tomorrow!