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bonyarishitafuan · 3 years ago

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A lot of people probably are gonna hate me for this, and if you disagree with what I’m about to say, please don't bother to respond, just ignore me completely and move on, go make yourself happy.

It’s just that I honestly don't see how this:

can be the same as this:

Personally, I don't care for Dick-lite Pre-Crisis Jason at all, because he’s never seemed to me a real character with any real personality of his own, and I just really don’t buy the idea of a teenager, with still very recently murdered parents that might as well be every bit as the same kind of loving parents and positive influences to their kid as the Flying Graysons, getting over the loss of their old parents’ and accepting someone they’ve only just met around the time their parents died as his true new parent in practically no time at all...especially when it’s happened in a world where a preteen could end up spending the rest of his adulthood fighting crimes in a bat suit after witnessing his parents being gunned down by a mugger.

The only thing Pre-Crisis/Earth 1 Jason Robin seemed to have going on was being a son to Batman/Bruce (and a son to Nocturna, because clearly if he could’ve gotten over his real dad so easily, why wouldn’t he have also gotten over his real mom and come to think of this mysterious criminal lady as his true new mom when she had wanted so much for him to be her son and they had lived together for like a week)--and I feel that if the executives at the time had really wanted Bruce to become a dad, they'd probably just let him settle down and give him a biological child as in the Golden Age, but instead they gave him a second Robin; and the way they laid themselves out to make the relationship between him and this second Robin to be exactly father-and-son despite the fact that Bruce would’ve had to be real stupid to actively endangering a young person whom he consider his own little boy by bringing him to fight crimes just never sits right with me.

It always seems to me like they’re just trying to retcon the original Batman and Robin relationship without actually retconning Bruce and Dick, who hadn’t really been Bruce’s adopted kid just then and had often regarded his mentor Bruce as more of his older brother/closest friend rather than just plain old “dad”--It’s like they’re just trying to remove every implication that there's ever anything gay/creepy in the original Batman and Robin dynamic, simply by bringing in another Robin character, one with the exact same backstory as Dick and nothing that could actually differentiate him from Dick (except him being originally blond-haired and himself outright telling people that he’s “not Dick” in one of his few featurings in the New Titans where he’s portrayed as every bit as much as a smart, decent, capable young person equipped to be a successful young hero just as Dick Robin or Tim Robin would’ve easily been portrayed), and making his relationship with Batman to be plainly, unequivocally father-and-son, then with there being no actual difference between Robin II and Robin I and the two Robins being virtually the same, sure the viewers would see that the relationship between Batman and Robin II and the relationship between Batman and Robin I are very much the same too, and no one could say if there’s any resemblance of a gay couple with a creepy age difference in the original Batman and Robin’s dynamic ever again since they’ve always been father and son.

It just feels so manipulative to me and I hate it, but that’s just how I feel and I’m not saying that it’s truly the case. I’m sorry if this offends anyone who loves Earth 1 Jason. If you love him, that’s great. There’s nothing wrong to love a wholesome Robin and his altogether wholesome relationship with Batman, nor there’s anything wrong to love Red Hood Jason but prefer his softer New52 version which would’ve certainly seemed to be a less drastic change from his Pre52 version if he’s more like his Earth 1 counterpart to begin with.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong to prefer one version of a character to another, to just say fuck canon and recreate a character you love into the way you could enjoy them most and have all the fun you want with them.

What gets to me and drives me bonkers, is when people couldn’t just be happy with their headcanon, but have to go out of their way to tell other people that it’s fact that Pre-Crsis/Earth 1 Jason and Post-Crisis/New Earth Jason are the same character, while in actuality, they weren’t even meant to be the same in the first place.

If DC had ever wanted to just keep using Pre-Crisis Jason but give him a new backstory, they would just follow up on whatever he had been doing with Bruce as his pre-crisis self while casually throwing in his new backstory at some point, just as they did with a lot of other characters such as Donna post-crisis, not give him a full reintroduction in Batman #408 and rewrite his relationship with Bruce from the ground up.

It just makes me want to scream, when people, who never seems to have a lot of problems with Under the Hood and maybe also Lost Days, have to go out and call every portrayal of Pre-52 Jason and some of the more recent Red Hood Jason that shares a resemblance to him wrong for not portraying Jason as that sweet little bookworm he really truly was, and that an entire different life experience just cannot change a character in any substantial way, and Jason being an angry kid with aggressive and violent tendencies is just something that had never been established until the more recent retcon/the OOC work of Jim Starlin, while in truth Pre-Crisis Jason with the exact same backstory as Dick just simply cannot be the same as Crime Alley Kid Jason, who doesn’t even have the same biological parents as Pre-Crisis Jason to provide him with the same gene that the Flying Todds, which were Joe and Trina Todd, had created their son with.

If Pre-Crisis Jason and Post-Crisis Jason are one and the same, then it’d mean Dick is also very much the same as Jason is the same as Tim is the same as Damian is the same as Bruce and no one character is truly unique and special because every character ever made is just an alternate version of another character.

It had been shown most clearly since his first appearance that Post-Crisis/New Earth Jason, other than literally being a different kid with the same name, was nothing like his pre-crisis counterpart, but rather a bold, outspoken, confrontational, fully independent and proactive ghetto kid, who had got some serious stones to rob Batman’s gear, actually succeed in taking the tire off the freaking Batmobile and getting away originally, and had only run into Batman when he had come back to steal more, and called Batman a “big boob” after he had given him a good hit right in his Bat stomach.

This precious cupcake here↓

↑...that was often used as a proof that the NE Angry Robin Jason is a later retcon/ mere misconception had actually only ever existed in Detective Comics #569-573 during the earlier part of the writer Mike Barr’s run. These 5 issues from Barr are all notably 60s-ish, and while they’re published after CoIE and Batman Year one, it’s clear that they’re Earth 1 stories, seeing that they’re written with characters such as Earth 1 Catwoman. It was only in #574 that Jason’s New Earth origin was first introduced in Detective Comics, right before Batman Year Two; and although the issue was still written by Mike Barr and it did seem to have followed directly after #573, the previous issue was ended with the caption of “The New Origin of Batman”, and the tone of #574 as well as the writer’s latter issues and his portrayal of Jason Robin were no longer the same.

↑Detective Comics #574↑

It was stated by Bruce repeatedly, in both his own title and Detective Comics, that the reason he had taken in NE Jason as his new Robin was to save him from walking down the wrong path and to provide an outlet for his rage.

While no doubt Jim Starlin’s NE Jason Robin (that everyone hates) was the most aggressive and violent, it had never contradicted how the character was initially written by Max Allen Collins, the writer of Batman #408.

↑Batman #410 by Collins↑

↑ Batman #411 by Collins, after Jason had found out that Willis was murdered by Two-Face and Bruce had been hiding the information from him ↑

Although in the end of Batman #411, Jason did seem to have gotten over his anger and saved Two-Face’s life, judging by the way he’d talked about his dad Willis in his first introduction and the fact that he’d never before bothered to find out what had happened to the man the whole time while he’s in the manor where he had all the resources to acquire the information, it was doubtful that he and Willis had had a good relationship, and what he’d felt for his crook dad then could hardly be the same as what he felt later in “The Diplomat’s Son” story.

NE Jason had always been consistent in being a fearless, proactive, feisty individual with a hot temper, even in the hand of a writer with a much mellower sense of writing like Mike Barr.

↑ Jason and Bruce encountered Two-Face again in Detective Comics #580-581 by Barrs ↑

It had been established from the get-go that NE Jason Robin was the type of kid who would challenge Batman and go out handling a criminal on his own without consulting him or anyone else first, and was morally questionable with tendencies to aggression and violence, which was perfectly understandable for someone with his background--Only at the beginning it’s easy to brush these things off, because there's never any real consequence to his behavior and so Bruce was okay when he’d behaved this way at the beginning, and since Jason’d still got a lot to learn and was eager to learn from Bruce at the beginning, it would only be right that he’s more agreeable and willing to obey Bruce, but once he had completed his training and been allowed on the field, it would also only be right for him to feel like he had learnt enough and gotten the hang of the business already, and so just easily slipped into his old habit of handling things on his own, just as he had always been while he had been surviving in the Crime Alley on his own before Bruce came along.

NE Jason Robin wasn’t suddenly turned from 0-100 in The Diplomat’s Son story (though I really doubt that it’d be impossible for someone, especially someone around Jason’s age, to go from 0-100 if they have to deal with what Jason had dealt with in the story)--

↓ This didn’t happen until after the diplomat’s son was let go by the police due to his status, and on his way out of the police station where he’d been initially brought in by Jason and Bruce for raping and kidnapping an innocent woman, the mofo called his victim right in front of Jason and Bruce and threatened her on the phone, which led the woman to immediately��commit suicide.

I’ve always thought it’s a good story and a lot more tasteful than it’s usually given credit for. It wouldn’t even have been the first time a “teenage superhero” has killed in the DCU (whether it was accidental or intentional); it’s certainly not something so dark and controversial that DC wouldn’t go for it, they could’ve easily just gone for it and had Jason Robin murder a criminal then, except they never really showed that he did. The audience just naturally assumed that he did because the whole scene was shown through Bruce’s view, and Bruce could see that even if Jason didn’t really kill the rapist then, he might very well be capable of it, and it makes the whole Under the Hood storyline as well as the continuation of Red Hood Jason possible.

The concept of Under the Hood and the continuing existence of Red Hood Jason works, instead of just being a complete character assassination like One-Year-Later Cass, only with Jason being his post-crisis version with all of his very established traits and his very established problems with Bruce.

If Under the Hood Jason is indeed Earth 1 Jason or similar to him, he would really need to be under some outside influence for him to do the things he had done, for there’s just no other justification for his action.

He would really have to be driven mad by the effect of the Lazarus Pit (which has only ever been showed to exist momentarily on other characters), he would have to be incapacitated the whole time, unable to control his own action or even form any conscious decision--and it would only make it extremely possible for him to do something truly awful such as killing some innocent or other heroes or even someone in the Batfam, since he wouldn’t be able to stop himself even if he wanted to, or be able to tell if that’s wrong; that’s what being incapacitated means, that’s why people who’s committed crimes, even as bad as murders, cannot be held legally accountable when they’re proven to be mentally ill--and if that’s truly the case, then Bruce as well as Dick (who had a pretty amicable relationship with Earth 1 Jason) and everybody else who has any knowledge about the matter would all have to be some real awful persons to not lift a finger to help him, by making it a point to stop him from committing any more murder that he wouldn’t have committed if he could help it, and figuring out a way to relieve him from the influence by means of the various science and magic overflowing in their world, like they’ve repeatedly done for many others who’ve been in the similar position, and eventually getting him the hell out of this altogether traumatic crime-fighting life, so he could finally begin to heal from his extensive traumas, including being forced to kill which has always been a very common cause of PTSD for soldiers at war; and even if Jason doesn’t leave the crime-fighting life forever, he could no longer continue operating as the Red Hood; it’d just make no sense for him to keep up the identity previously belonged to his murderer, and have it constantly remind him of how he didn’t just get brutally murdered, he was also forced into becoming a murderer himself, which.he never would’ve become if he wasn’t literally out of his mind.

Moreover, there could never have been a Tim Robin (even if Tim didn’t go by Robin but something else), if the Jason who died in A Death in the Family had the same disposition as Earth 1 Jason and none of his NE traits which was the one and only justification Bruce had for taking in Tim as his third teenage partner, seeing that Tim is patient and careful and cooperative with all the qualities to become the same kind of hero like Dick, and not at all “reckless” and “rebellious” like NE Jason, and so he’s likely to turn out like Dick and not get himself killed like Jason (that’s the only true significant retcon Pre52 Jason had. Although NE Jason Robin could be rather reckless and rebellious, that’s certainly not why he had gotten killed. They just made Bruce and everyone pretend that that’s what killed him, so it wouldn’t seem so utterly horrible for Bruce to endanger another teenage kid with no superpower or any previous fighting training by bringing them in the business that had already gotten one kid killed, and also for Dick and everyone else to just let him).

It’s a complete disregard of facts and logic to call Earth 1 Jason and Red Hood Jason the same character, which doesn’t really matter as long as it’s only headcanon; but when people push it as a fact, it really just sound to me like they’re saying that it’s wrong to like Pre 52 Jason/Post-Crisis Jason Robin, which I very much do because I actually think he’s an interesting character with an interesting and more coherent story than a lot of other DC characters.

It’s like they’re saying that it’s just plain wrong and unnatural for a person to have aggressive and violent tendencies and be inclined to criminal behavior simply because they had grown up in a most crime-infested place and had to rely on themselves and learned to do what it takes to survive since before twelve, or become more and more violent simply because they’ve been made to work in an extremely violent environment and have never been provided with any kind of actual aid for their mental health the entire time.

It’s like that if a person, after being brutally murdered and then coming back to find that their mentor/guardian who was the closest thing they had to a family and was also responsible for their death in a major way just didn’t seem to be giving any shit about that at all, is filled with such murderous rage that they could very well just go out and kill a bunch of criminals, but they aren’t actually a smol whump baby with no absolutely agency of their own that must be protected at all times all along, then they’re just no good at all and don’t deserve any love or respect or understanding.

...I don’t like myself for ranting about this. I hope I could just not give any shit about this dumb thing, but it’d been driving me crazy and I’d just got to let it out.

#dc #DC comics #jason todd #batman #red hood #Robin II

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musubiki · 4 years ago

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do you mayhaps have any taffy (and maybe coffy) headcanons? i just want to give him many hugs

YEAH HERES A FEW!!!!!

- speaking of hugs, coco was the first person to hug taffy. he was very uncomfortable and had his guard up the whole time, and shes just like “will you just relax?”

- she coaches him through how youre supposed to hug someone

- once hes finally a little more comfortable with it, the first thing he notes is how warm she is. hes so used to the cold and damp that having something soft and warm is so foreign and weird hes almost scared of it

- he is notoriously horrible at handling her. everyone (mochi and lime included) respects, maybe even fears him, except her. shes like “hey seaslug i need your help with this one thing even though we’re technically enemies” and hes like “why would i help you at all”

“because i asked you nicely, and you have nothing to lose from it”

“......what is it.”

“can i borrow 5 dollars for some boba”

- and he GIVES IT TO HER.

- she is 100% not afraid of him just bc thats just how her personality is and its both intriguing and infuriating to him

- they, hilariously, keep running into each other because they shop at the same grocery store and use the same laundromat (coco lives in a small apartment complex close to the docks)

- and EVERY TIME hes like GEARED UP and READY for a FIGHT AND SHES JUST LIKE “JUST LET ME BUY MY BEANS IN PEACE, DUDE”

- or he starts looking around frantically and shes just “relax, mochis not here.”

- surprisingly, taffy is really good with old people. the shop staff at the docks/grocery store/laundromat like him. “such a nice young man” and cocos like “no he tried to kill someone twice”

- (which is also why coco assumes hes probably not that bad of a person if these people dont mind him)

- this is part of the reason why they kind of become a little close. on a scale from mochi ➡️ taffy coco is aligned medium left, she wouldnt betray mochi in favor of taffy, but she doesnt believe that the only outcome of this whole fight is just one side wins or loses

- coco is a great judge of character, and its based on instinct, and shes also usually right. mochi tries to see the best in people (and is more trusting than she should be) (in taffys case he doesnt give her much to work with), lime judges based on reason, oscar is suspicious of everyone but will follow lime or mochis lead, but coco goes with her gut feeling

- so taffy thinks she should be more cautious. why does she act so callus with him when he could kill her at any time. she claims she thinks hes not that type, and often times just trusts him, and shes right every time.

- like once she straight up just let him stay in her apartment. hes like “are you serious?” she says something like “what, you gonna kill me? or steal shit?” he replies “i could” but he doesnt.

- another reason for this (i think i mentioned once before) is that he saved her life once. during his first fight with mochi, and coco stupidly gets involved because she wants to help mochi, almost falls off the seaside cliffs, and only lived because taffy grabbed her.

- later on shes also the reason why he doesnt die at the end of his final fight with mochi

- im not sure at what point he falls in love with her. but this VERY MUCH hinders his ability to fight her, and also clouds up/sways his mission to kill mochi on multiple occasions.

- eventually when he starts to to downhill again (because of amanita’s influence) he also tries to kill coco, because shes become a distraction to him and he cant focus with her around anymore (and of course, he cant)

- i like the few occasions when coco is in trouble and mochi and taffy just team up to save her. and he tries to kill her again directly after

- sometimes coco brings him coffee from mochis shop. hes like “no thats definitely poison, do you think im stupid?” so she deadass looks him in the eye, takes a long drag out of the straw, and then shoves it in his mouth

- i will never get over how absolutely bonkers their friendship is and taffy just goes with it???

- (also coco never tells mochi she runs into/converses with/develops a friendship with taffy. mochi thinks its weird how horrible he is at fighting when shes there, but just assumed something happened between them at the sea cliffs)

- coco also becomes his social crutch when he becomes part of the guild because he is awkward man x10000

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davidmann95 · 4 years ago

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Superman’s 10 Best of the ‘10s

Good Miracle Monday, folks! The first third Monday of May of a new decade for that matter, and while that means that today in the DC Universe Superman just revealed his secret identity to the world on the latest anniversary of that time he defeated the devil, in ours it puts a capstone on a solid 10 years of his adventures now in the rear view mirror, ripe for reevaluation. And given there’s a nice solid ‘10′ right there I’ll go ahead with the obvious and list my own top ten for Superman comics of the past decade, with links in the titles to those I’ve spoken on in depth before - maybe you’ll find something you overlooked, or at least be reminded of good times.

A plethora of honorable mentions: I’m disqualifying team-ups or analogue character stories, but no list of the great Superman material of the last decade would be complete without bringing up Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye #7, Avengers 34.1, Irredeemable, Sideways Annual #1, Supreme: Blue Rose, Justice League: Sixth Dimension, usage of him in Wonder Twins, (somewhat in spite of itself) Superior, from all I’ve heard New Super-Man, DCeased #5, and Batman: Super Friends. And while they couldn’t quite squeeze in, all due praise to the largely entertaining Superman: Unchained, the decades’ great Luthor epic in Superman: The Black Ring, a brilliant accompaniment to Scott Snyder’s work with Lex in Lex Luthor: Year of the Villain, the bonkers joy of the Superman/Luthor feature in Walmart’s Crisis On Infinite Earths tie-in comics, Geoff Johns and John Romita’s last-minute win in their Superman run with their final story 24 Hours, Tom Taylor’s quiet criticism of the very premise he was working with on Injustice and bitter reflection on the changing tides for the character in The Man of Yesterday, the decades’ most consistent Superman ongoing in Bryan Miller and company’s Smallville Season 11, and Superman: American Alien, which probably would have made the top ten but has been dropped like a hot potato by one and all for Reasons. In addition are several stories from Adventures of Superman, a book with enough winners to merit a class of its own: Rob Williams and Chris Weston’s thoughtful Savior, Kyle Killen and Pia Guerra’s haunting The Way These Things Begin, Marc Guggenheim and Joe Bennett’s heart-wrenching Tears For Krypton, Christos Gage and Eduardo Francisco’s melancholy Flowers For Bizarro, Josh Elder and Victor Ibanez’s deeply sappy but deeply effective Dear Superman, Ron Marz and Doc Shaner’s crowdpleasing Only Child, and Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine DeLandro’s super-sweet Mystery Box.

10. Greg Pak/Aaron Kuder’s Action Comics

Oh, what might’ve been. In spite of an all-timer creative team I can’t justify listing this run any higher given how profoundly and comprehensively compromised it is, from the status quo it was working with to the litany of ill-conceived crossovers to regular filler artists to its ignominious non-ending. But with the most visceral, dynamic, and truly humane take on Clark Kent perhaps of all time that still lives up to all Superman entails, and an indisputably iconic instant-classic moment to its name, I can’t justify excluding it either.

9. Action Comics #1000

Arguably the climax to the decade for the character as his original title became the first superhero comic to reach a 1000th issue. While any anthology of this sort is a crapshoot by nature, everyone involved here seemed to understand the enormity of the occasion and stepped up as best they could; while the lack of a Lois Lane story is indefensible, some are inevitably bland, and one or two are more than a bit bizarre, by and large this was a thoroughly charming tribute to the character and his history with a handful of legitimate all-timer short stories.

8. Faster Than A Bullet

Much as Adventures of Superman was rightfully considered an oasis amidst the New 52′s worst excesses post-Morrison and in part pre-Pak, few stories from it seem well-remembered now, and even at the time this third issue inexplicably seemed to draw little attention. Regardless, Matt Kindt and Stephen Segovia’s depiction of an hour in the life of Superman as he saves four planets first thing in the morning without anyone noticing - while clumsy in its efforts at paralleling the main events with a literal subplot of a conversation between Lois and Lex - is one of the best takes I can recall on the scope on which he operates, and ultimately the purpose of Clark Kent.

7. Man and Superman

Seemingly geared on every front against me, built as it was on several ideas of how to handle Superman’s origin I legitimately hate, and by a writer whose work over the years has rarely been to my liking, Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini’s Man and Superman somehow came out of nowhere to be one of my favorite takes on Clark Kent’s early days. With a Metropolis and characters within it that feel not only alive but lived-in, it’s shocking that a story written and drawn over ten years before it was actually published prefigured so many future approaches to its subject, and felt so of-the-moment in its depiction of a 20-something scrambling to figure out how to squeeze into his niche in the world when it actually reached stores.

6. Brian Bendis’s run

Controversial in the extreme, and indeed heir to several of Brian Bendis’s longstanding weaknesses as a writer, his work on The Man of Steel, Superman, and Action Comics has nevertheless been defined at least as much by its ambition and intuitive grasp of its lead, as well as fistfuls of some of the best artistic accompaniment in the industry. At turns bombastic space action, disaster flick, spy-fi, oddball crime serial, and family drama, its assorted diversions and legitimate attempts at shaking up the formula - or driving it into new territory altogether, as in the latest, apparently more longterm-minded unmasking of Clark Kent in Truth - have remained anchored and made palatable by an understanding of Superman’s voice, insecurities, and convictions that go virtually unmatched.

5. Strange Visitor

The boldest, most out-of-left-field Superman comic of the past 10 years, Joe Keatinge took the logline of Adventures of Superman to do whatever creators wanted with the character and, rather than getting back to a classic take absent from the mainline titles at the time as most others did, used the opportunity for a wildly expansive exploration of the hero from his second year in action to his far-distant final adventure. Alongside a murderer’s row of artists, Keatinge pulled off one of the few comics purely about how great Superman is that rather than falling prey to hollow self-indulgence actually managed to capture the wonder of its subject.

4. Superman: Up In The Sky

And here’s the other big “Superman’s just the best” comic the decade had to offer that actually pulled it off. Sadly if reasonably best-known for its one true misfire of a chapter, with the increasing antipathy towards Tom King among fans in general likely not helping, what ended up overlooked is that this is a stone-cold classic on moment of arrival. Andy Kubert turns in work that stands alongside the best of his career, Tom King’s style is honed to its cleanest edge by the 12-pager format and subject matter, and the quest they set their lead out on ends up a perfect vehicle to explore Superman’s drive to save others from a multitude of angles. I don’t know what its reputation will end up being in the long-term - I was struck how prosaic and subdued the back cover description was when I got this in hardcover, without any of the fanfare or critic quotes you’d expect from the writer of Mister Miracle and Vision tackling Superman - but while its one big problem prevents me from ranking it higher, this is going to remain an all-timer for me.

3. Jeff Loveness’s stories Help and Glasses

Cheating shamelessly here, but Jeff Loveness’s Help with David Williams and Glasses with Tom Grummett are absolutely two halves of the same coin, a pair of theses on Superman’s enduring relevance as a figure of hope and the core of Lois and Clark’s relationship that end up covering both sides of Superman the icon and Superman the guy. While basically illustrated essays, any sense of detached lecturing is utterly forbidden by the raw emotion on display here that instantly made them some of the most acclaimed Superman stories of the last several years; they’re basically guaranteed to remain in ‘best-of’ collections from now until the end of time.

2. Superman Smashes The Klan

A bitter race for the top spot, but #2 is no shame here; while not quite my favorite Superman story of the past ten years, it’s probably the most perfectly executed. While I don’t think anyone could have quite expected just *how* relevant this would be at the top of the decade, Gene Yang and Gurihiru put together an adventure in the best tradition of the Fleischer shorts and the occasional bystander-centered episodes of Batman: The Animated Series to explore racism’s both overt and subtle infections of society’s norms and institutions, the immigrant experience, and both of its leads’ senses of alienation and justice. Exciting, stirring, and insightful, it’s debuted to largely universal acknowledgement as being the best Superman story in years, and hopefully it’ll be continued to be marketed as such long-term.

1. Grant Morrison’s Action Comics

When it came time to make the hard choice, it came in no small part down to that I don’t think we would have ever seen a major Golden Age Superman revival project like Smashes The Klan in the first place if not for this. Even hampering by that godawful Jim Lee armor, inconsistent (if still generally very good) art, and a fandom that largely misunderstood it on arrival can’t detract from that this is Grant Morrison’s run on a Superman ongoing, a journey through Superman’s development as a character reframed as a coherent arc that takes him from Metropolis’s most beaten-down neighborhoods to the edge of the fifth dimension and the monstrous outermost limits of ‘Superman’ as a concept. It launched discussions of Superman as a corporate icon and his place relative to authority structures that have never entirely vanished, introduced multiple all-time great new villains, and made ‘t-shirt Superman’ a distinct era and mode of operation for the character that I’m skeptical will ever entirely go away. No other work on the character this decade had the bombast, scope, complexity, or ambition of this run, with few able to match its charm or heart. And once again, it was, cannot stress this enough, Grant Morrison on an ongoing Superman book.

#Superman #Miracle Monday #Opinion

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megabadbunny · 5 years ago

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if we let go (5/?)

A lazy smile quirks Rose’s lips. She doesn’t know why she’s so surprised. She did say he was the one who let her in, after all. It’s just nice, she supposes, to be right about something for once. (It’s very nice to be right about him.)

Right after Journey’s End, Rose gets a choice, even if she has to carve it out for herself. This chapter has lemons; visit ff.net for a citrus-free experience.

***

chapter five: you gave me a life i never chose

After what feels like a lifetime (but is, in actuality, a mere thirteen hours, seventeen minutes, and forty-six seconds), amidst a landslide of half-empty teacups and coffee mugs and medical-technical gear and bits and bobs, the medscreen finally (finally) begins to beep.

“Really?” murmurs the Doctor, straightening up from his slumped position over his research materials for the first time in hours. Hardly daring to believe, he reaches for the device with only the smallest amount of trepidation, mentally preparing himself for whatever he might find there. He flips the screen his way. And there, amidst a string of medical technobabble reassuring him of Donna’s stasis (respiratory and cardiopulmonary systems going a little faster than he’d like, but stable enough, considering), reads a string of text distinctly unlike the rest:

<oi>

Eyes widening, the Doctor reads the text again, over and over, barely able to process what he’s seeing (never mind that he engineered things for this very purpose—the fact that it all worked is nothing short of miraculous).

The device beeps again as new text blinks across the screen, bright white lines flashing cheerfully against the grey.

<what’s going on>

<hello>

“Yes, yes,” the Doctor stammers immediately, out of instinct, more than anything—doubtful Donna can hear him right now, after all, even if he is stationed just a few feet away from her comatose self. Half-panicked, half-giddy beyond belief, the Doctor scrambles around in the technological viscera scattered over the medbay counter until he finds all the pieces he’s looking for (cables, clamps, Martha’s old mobile, a webcam the size of a thumbtack plucked from the year 2057, a simple jury-rigged electroencephalographic scope, the usual) before realizing that, oh, right, Donna would probably like an answer, wouldn’t she? and abandoning it all to type out a quick <<Yep, I’m here>> before he returns to the task at hand.

<great> flashes across the screen in response. <so you gonna tell me what the hell is going on? or where the hell i am? or why’s it so dark here? or why can’t i move?>

<<Why, hello, Donna! It’s nice to hear from you, too>> the Doctor types into the medscreen, even as he smiles. <<No need to thank me for saving your brain from immediate and irreversible liquidation, original memories fully intact and pristine. The dulcet vision of your digital voice is the only accolade I need.>>

<<You’re still on the TARDIS. You can’t move or see or otherwise process external stimuli because you’re in a medically-induced coma.>>

<well isn’t that wizard> reads the immediate response in a tone so reminiscent of Donna that the Doctor can’t help but laugh. <you wanna tell me why i’m in a coma?>

Smiling, the Doctor shakes his head. <<In the wake of the metacrisis-event, due to the external memories’ rapid deterioration of your brain, I’ve telepathically isolated the offending elements from your neural network and blocked them from re-entry>> he explains, typing between bouts of plugging in cables and adjusting dials on the electroencephalographic scope. <<Unfortunately, the best way to maintain the integrity of the telepathic blocks involves keeping your conscious mind safe from anything that might trigger the memory of the offending elements, which involves putting you in a persistent vegetative state until we can find a way to safely and permanently extract the metacrisis material from your temporal and parietal lobes, without damaging any of the surrounding tissue or neural pathways. Got it?>>

If the medscreen could convey an exasperated sigh, the Doctor imagines it would right about now. <in english please> the screen flashes at him.

The Doctor grins madly as he works, relief bubbling up in his head until he’s almost dizzy from it. He’s never been so happy for a companion to do the digital equivalent of offering him nothing but a blank stare; no more babbling about macrotransmissions or shatterfrying or mountains that sway in the breeze means his telepathic blocks are holding firm. That means no more Time Lord knowledge overwhelming human brains, which means that, for the time being anyway, Donna’s safe.

Which means, he realizes as he fishes his specs out of his pocket, that he may actually have a chance of saving her.

<<My memories are still in your head and you’re stuck in a coma until I can remove them>> he types to Donna. <<But don’t worry, in the meantime I’ve rigged up this handy-dandy medical transceiver and plugged it directly into your subconscious so we can still communicate!>>

<oh god no> flashes across the screen. <doctor do NOT make me a brain in a computer, i expressly forbid it>

<<Wouldn’t dream of it>> the Doctor replies before affixing the tiny webcam to the side of his specs.

<good>

“Oh, ye of little faith,” murmurs the Doctor, slipping on his glasses and fiddling with the settings on Martha’s mobile phone. “When have I ever let you down?”

“That tatty old suit lets down my sense of fashion every single day,” mutters a digitized version of Donna’s voice, and the Doctor laughs, now, properly laughs. A spluttered sound of indignant surprise erupts from the webcam’s built-in speaker, and the Doctor laughs harder, imagining the shock that would sweep across Donna’s face right now, were it capable.

“Oh my god!” shouts Donna’s voice from the speaker, disjointed and tinny in that way that voices-projected-from-telephonic-devices often are, but still her voice, nonetheless. “Doctor, I can hear you!”

“Yes!”

“And you can hear me!” yells Donna’s voice.

“Oh, yes!” the Doctor shouts gleefully in reply.

“But how? I’m still asleep, aren’t I? I still can’t move or see anything—”

“Well, then,” says the Doctor, fiddling with more settings on the mobile as he smiles what may or may not be the universe’s smuggest grin, “Let there be light!”

He hits one last button and is rewarded with a high-pitched screech not unlike one that might rip out of a pterodactyl. “I can see!” Donna shrieks, and silently, the Doctor adjusts the webcam-speaker’s volume, lest Donna’s voice split his eardrums or manage to wake her own comatose body somehow. “Oh my god, I can see the TARDIS—her walls, I mean—and cabinets and lights and—you’re in the medbay, right? Oh, you are—cos that’s me over there on the bed, isn’t it? Oof, I look a bit peaky, don’t I? But how on earth—?”

“Oh, it was just a small matter of rigging together the right materials to tap into your subconscious mind. Simple enough, if you’ve got a spare mobile and travel-size electroencephalographic scope lying around. A direct line, if you will,” the Doctor laughs. “Doesn’t get much more direct than this!”

“This is bonkers, absolutely bonkers. I can’t believe you managed it!”

“Didn’t I mention, though?” asks the Doctor as he springs up, feeling lighter than he has in days—maybe weeks, maybe longer. “I’m brilliant!”

“You really are,” Donna concedes, and in any other situation, the Doctor might feel mildly insulted at how surprised she sounds to admit it. “So, what do we do, now? What’s the next step?”

The Doctor considers as he darts over to Donna’s body on the bed, double- and triple-checking her vitals, just to be sure. “Well, now that the imminent danger has passed, I suppose it’s time to do a little research, scan our local solar systems to locate the equipment we need to finish the memory extraction.”

“Sounds good to me. The sooner I stop being a vegetable, the better, and if anyone can fix that, it’s you.”

No, not just him, a stubborn little voice at the back of the Doctor’s head insists. Not him. Them. Because in all honesty, the only reason he’s got any hope at all right now is all because of—

He chuckles, silently chiding himself. He really can be an idiot, sometimes. Doubting himself. Doubting her. He should know better than to distrust Rose’s instincts, whether they’re telling her to help Donna or bolt back for the TARDIS at the last second or anything else; for all he knows, her intuition could very well be a side effect borne of the Bad Wolf phenomenon (but really, he suspects it’s all just her and her gut, in the end. She’s surprisingly insightful, for a human. Always has been. He’d do well to remember that, he thinks).

Looking down at the medscreen, at the numbers displayed across its surface showing a significant calming-down of Donna’s vitals, the Doctor softens. Rose was right, in more ways than one. The Doctor reminds himself to apologize to her at the first available opportunity—though really, he thinks as he stows the medscreen and all of its connected parts safely inside his pockets, wouldn’t she prefer that he showed her how right she was, instead of telling her?

“Hang on, how come my hands look like your hands?” asks Donna, interrupting his thoughts. “I mean, obviously they’re your hands, but it’s the wrong angle, like they’re coming out of me instead of you. Like a first-person videogame thing. Am I seeing the world through your eyes, right now?”

“Near enough,” the Doctor replies cheerfully.

“Okay, but—but not like. Not literally though. Right?”

“Strictly figuratively,” the Doctor laughs. “Don’t worry, Donna. It’s all in the glasses.”

“Oh, thank god. The thought of accidentally seeing you naked again makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.”

“On second thought, maybe I’ll leave you in the coma after all,” says the Doctor.

***

Rose awakes with a start, tensing at the weight pressed against her, the unfamiliar room surrounding her. Her first thought is that she must have been knocked unconscious during a jump gone wrong—not terribly common, but it’s happened before—but as her eyes adjust to the semi-dark, taking in everything in the room from the curved ceiling to the carpeted floor to the telltale rough coral walls, recognition slowly filters in, and she remembers.

She made it. She made it back to this universe. She made it back to the TARDIS, back to the Doctor. (Doctors, plural? Both of them, then.) And he—

Oh. That weight, that body pressed close—that must be him. One of them is with her right now, isn’t he? Because this is his room, isn’t it? And if she turns over, Rose will see the Doctor lying in bed next to her, won’t she?

Her limbs still thick and heavy with sleep, Rose lazily rolls over to find the Doctor (the human one, she remembers, because that’s a thing, now), curled on his side and fast asleep. Slumber-tousled hair tumbles over a forehead smooth from worry, the Doctor’s mouth parted just slightly, his eyes shuttered, as if in prayer. It’s strange seeing him like this, not because of their years apart, not even because they’re both lying in his unfamiliar bed, but because Rose is casting about in her memories to recall the last time she ever saw him so quiet and unguarded, and she’s coming up empty-handed. She has seen him sleep before, technically; that’s not new. But she has never seen him really, properly vulnerable, in this body or any other. She’s never seen him look so human.

Human or not, it’s surreal to be so close to the Doctor right now, after so many years apart. So Rose just watches him for a moment, just taking everything in. Part of her can’t believe it, even though he’s right here, right in front of her. It’s all almost too much to absorb.

(Only almost, though. God, he’s pretty like this. Then again, he’s pretty much always pretty.)

Probably she should go ahead and get up (escape, she doesn’t think, before the moment swells too much in its sentimentality, before he wakes up and goes flighty, before she grows vulnerable herself), but struck with a sudden curious need, Rose shifts in the bed instead, one hand lifting up. She places her palm flat against the Doctor’s chest, gently, feeling its rise and fall with each deep inhale and soft exhale, before tracing a line down to the bottom of his ribcage. She can sense his heart beating, behind layers of tee shirt and skin and muscle and bone, pulsing quietly almost in time with her own.

It’s all very different. But not bad different.

“I thought I was the rude one,” mutters the Doctor, eyes still solidly shut.

Rose twitches. “Huh?”

“I thought,” the Doctor repeats, eyes sliding slowly open, “that I was the rude one.”

There goes her plan. “Oh, don’t worry,” Rose chuckles. “You’re plenty rude.”

“Says the person trying to tickle me awake.”

Cringing, Rose starts to draw her hand back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

The Doctor stops her hand before it can withdraw very far, anchoring her fingers and palm solidly back against his chest. “S’all right,” he mumbles, blinking sleep away. “Probably a good time to get up anyway.”

He’s right.

Neither of them moves.

“Did you end up getting any actual sleep last night?” Rose asks.

“Do you know, I think I did, after…” the Doctor starts to say, and trails off. Rose can practically see the memory of the night before as it replays in his mind, and admittedly, it’s a little difficult to tell in the semi-dark, but is he blushing? “After you came in,” he says hurriedly. “What about you?”

“Yeah,” says Rose, hiding a grin. “I’m good.”

He smiles at her then, almost shyly. “Good.”

And that marks a good time to get up, Rose thinks. For her to put space between them before he has the chance to.

(Except he still hasn’t moved his hand from hers. Palm pressed against his chest, Rose can feel his heartrate pick up beneath her fingers, and suddenly she’s very warm, and moving seems difficult.)

“But, like I said, probably good to go ahead and get up,” the Doctor says quickly, and Rose imagines that if his hand weren’t full of hers, he’d be nervously tugging on his ear right about now. “You know. Get the day started, and all that.”

“Probably. What time is it?”

At that, the Doctor blinks just a little too much, fully awake now. “Well,” he says, drawing the word out. “That’s sort of an interesting question, isn’t it? What time is it. Difficult to answer, considering the relativity of time (especially on the TARDIS), and taking into account that there’s no real universal chronometrical measurement or standard, and we’re really just relying on observations alone, which can vary greatly depending on the observers’ proximity to a gravitational mass—”

“You don’t know,” Rose realizes aloud.

After stuttering for a second, the Doctor closes his mouth. He shakes his head, the motion tight.

“Because of the metacrisis?

He nods.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and she means it.

He shrugs. “It’s no worries.”

“Not even a few worries?” Rose asks, lips quirking in a small smile.

“Eh, I’m sure I can manage without the time sense. Plenty of species do. Now, the bypass, on the other hand...”

As if on cue, the Doctor starts to yawn, only to snap his mouth shut halfway through. “Oh,” he says, nose wrinkling in disgust. “Rose, I don’t mean to alarm you, but I think I might have morning breath now.”

Rose chuckles. “Many of us do.”

“Well, isn’t that wizard,” the Doctor says drily. “Being human is just wonderful, can’t imagine why I never tried it long-term before.”

“It’s not all bad, you know.”

“Hmph. I’ll believe it when I see it,” he grumps. “Or hear it or smell it or feel it or taste it, as the case may be.”

Humming thoughtfully, Rose takes a moment to consider. Her fight-or-flight instinct is still murmuring quietly in the background, telling her that this is as good a moment as any to end the conversation, go ahead and get up and wash up and go about their day, whatever it may bring; the sooner she leaves this warm little cocoon, after all, the sooner Rose will be able to build her walls back up, retreat back to safe territory. Before things get out of hand. Before she has a chance to get hurt again. (Before any of them do.)

She ignores it.

“That,” Rose says, scooting just a little bit closer to him (just the littlest bit closer, mind), “sounds like an awful lot like a challenge.”

“Oh?” asks the Doctor, eyebrow arched in amusement.

“Yes,” she says solemnly, nodding. “Tell me: what do your human eyes see?”

“Plenty of stuff. It’s not my physical sensory capabilities that concern me.”

“Humor me.” Rose curls her fist against his chest. “What do you see right now?”

Beneath his ribcage, Rose swears she feels his pulse skip a beat. “Well,” says the Doctor, “not to belabor the obvious, but I see you. In my bedroom. In my bed, of all places.”

“That’s not so bad, is it?” Rose asks cheekily, tongue pressed against the back of her teeth.

The Doctor grins at her in a way that makes something flutter in her stomach. “Not bad at all,” he concedes.

Rose smiles. “And what can you hear?”

“All the same things you can, I imagine. Your voice, my voice, the TARDIS’ hum,” the Doctor counts off, “the buzz of the temporal-spacial equinometer, the quiet hiss of the life support system, faint overtures of the Vortex—”

“Right, of course I can hear all of that,” teases Rose, rolling her eyes.

“The sounds of you wriggling in the sheets like the squirmy little thing you are…”

With a laugh, Rose’s smile widens. “How’s about your nose?”

The Doctor wrinkles said nose again. “Aside from my aforementioned temporary halitosis, let’s see. It’s picking up on a hint of recycled oxygen courtesy of the TARDIS, traces of residual space matter from our time onboard the Crucible, traces of the toothpaste you used last night…”

He leans in closer, making a show of sniffing her hair. “Moringa oleifera, arginine, extracts of Fragaria ananassa, other components of your shampoo. Still partial to strawberry, hm?”

“Now you’re just showing off,” Rose laughs, and he laughs too, nodding enthusiastically.

They are very close now.

The Doctor hasn’t moved his hand, still holding hers against his chest, but that’s all right; Rose’s other hand is free, and, feeling brazen, she reaches up with it now, to run her fingers through the Doctor’s gloriously rumpled hair. If his hair is any different from his Time Lord counterpart’s, she can’t tell; it’s still thick, smooth, stupidly pretty. Her fingertips glance against his scalp first, scraping lightly after, and the Doctor’s eyes threaten to shutter closed, fluttering like he’s fighting to stay awake.

“What do you feel?” Rose asks him.

The Doctor hums deep in his belly, the sound rumbling against Rose’s fingers. “Sleepy, if you keep doing that.”

Rose’s hand slowly drifts downward, tracing a path from the Doctor’s ear down to his shoulder, joining its counterpart on the Doctor’s chest.

“Suppose you’re going to suggest I eat some candy or a biscuit next,” the Doctor chuckles wryly.

“Oh yeah?”

“Certainly. What better way to appeal to my sense of taste and thereby prove your point?”

Rose considers for just a split-second before she draws in close to kiss him. It’s impulsive, and her heart races in her ears for all that it’s a short and sweet and chaste kiss, but it’s worth it for the small sound of surprise the Doctor makes when her lips meet his, and the dazed look on his face when she pulls back.

The Doctor blinks at her. “Do you know,” he replies, just the tiniest bit breathlessly, “I might be willing to slightly revise my stance on my newfound humanity.”

“Just slightly?”

“Just a little bit,” the Doctor agrees before leaning in to return the kiss. His lips work softly against hers, the pressure light, relaxed, and Rose melts into it immediately, even as some distant part of her brain still reels in disbelief that this sort of thing happens, now, that this is something they can do—that they can see each other, and hear, and smell, and feel, and, as the Doctor’s lips part to grant entry to Rose’s tongue, taste. Rose’s tongue glances against his briefly before retreating and he chases after her, suddenly starving. Distantly, she thinks she should tease him that his morning breath isn’t that bad after all; presently, she wonders how the Doctor would react if she pulled off his boxers, if he would rather straddle or be straddled. Her hands fist in his tee-shirt, his pulse speeding up against her knuckles as she pulls him in until they’re so close, they’re nearly touching, the scant space between them nearly buzzing with the desire to be bridged.

The Doctor breaks the kiss long enough to catch his breath, and if Rose didn’t know any better, she’d think he was gasping. “We,” he starts to say, and swallows. Sighs. “Erm. We really should…”

“Get up now?” Rose supplies, but she doesn’t move away, closes the whisper of a gap between them instead.

“Hmm. We should,” says the Doctor, even as he bends down to press a kiss, featherlight, to the pulse point beneath Rose’s jaw.

Her breath hitches in her throat and she fights not to let her eyes fall shut. It’s impossible not to feel a little giddy at the closeness of him, the sudden sensation of their bodies sliding together, skin achingly close to skin; she wonders if that’s as true for him as it is for her, with all his fresh new cells and nerves buzzing beneath thin layers of clothing and pretense.

“Yeah,” she sighs, hands slipping down to the elastic of his boxers. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, last night was—”

“Unexpected, but inspired?” asks the Doctor as he kisses her neck.

“And probably a little too much, too soon,” Rose adds, playing with his waistband. “Better to ease into this sort of thing, right?”

“That would be very responsible of us.”

“Yeah,” Rose pants as the Doctor insinuates one of his legs between hers. “We should take things slow. Make sure…”

“No one gets hurt?”

She slips a finger beneath his waistband. “Are you talking about the two of us, or—”

“Much as I hate to admit it, this equation has three variables.” The Doctor nips her collarbone, soothing the hurt with his tongue after, sending heat pooling deep in Rose’s belly. She fights the urge to grind down on the Doctor’s thigh. “And as much as I’d like to pretend it doesn’t matter,” the Doctor continues, as if he doesn’t notice how hot and wet she suddenly is, “the other me is bound to have conflicting thoughts about all of this.”

“Then maybe he shouldn’t keep pushing me away,” says Rose, running a teasing thumb along his hipbone, relishing the feel of him stiffening against her.

“A fair and rational point,” the Doctor concedes, even as he shudders and kisses the swell of her breast, his lips warm and soft through the fabric of her shirt. “But I’m not sure how much rationality applies in situations like this.”

Rose pulls back enough to properly look at him. “He’s not the one who let me in,” she tells the Doctor, her gaze hard. “He’s not the one who stayed.”

“So is this a reward for me, or a punishment for him?” the Doctor asks.

He doesn’t look angry, or sad. There’s no blame in his tone. His expression is perfectly neutral, like a scientist putting forth a vague hypothetical. Rose sees through it immediately.

“There’s no one else in this room,” she tells him, “but you, and me.”

The Doctor nods. “Good,” he breathes, and Rose kisses him again, fiercely this time. It’s a bruising thing, greedy even, but neither of them are complaining as Rose’s tongue slides over his, slick and warm and sweet. The Doctor groans into her mouth as her thigh brushes against his cock, as she finally surrenders to the urge to grind down on his leg; his fingers knot in her hair as he takes control of the kiss and it’s only a little frantic, the way they’re clinging to each other, and it’s awkward, this tangled mess of clothes and limbs, but it’s delicious, too, the friction and the need and the way the Doctor maybe-accidentally bites her lip when Rose’s hand slips into his boxers to stroke him from base to tip.

He’s hot in her hand, hot and hard and wonderfully human and his reactions are human too, as he abandons the kiss in favor of burying his face in the join of Rose’s neck and shoulder, panting, his hands flying down to clench her by the hips, pulling her into him. A moment later and he’s pulling at her tee shirt, dislodging her hand from his shorts so he can strip her shirt all the way up and off. After urging Rose onto her back, the Doctor takes just a second to appreciate the view, his eyes at half-mast and lips just parted, before he dips down to kiss her breasts. Swearing under her breath, Rose arches off the bed, into his touch; he rewards her with his fingers on one nipple and his mouth on the other, teasing both to stiff, sensitive attention.

His thigh is still wedged between hers and Rose grinds down wantonly, practically whimpering, grateful for the chance to relieve the mounting ache throbbing between her legs. She wants so badly to touch him again but it’s difficult, positioned the way they are, and it’s only made more difficult when his hand leaves her breast in favor of sneaking beneath the waistband of her borrowed boxers, brushing featherlight and tentative over the seam of her sex. At that point it’s almost impossible to think about anything but his mouth on her breast and his fingers gently stroking her and how it’s so good, it’s so good, it’s almost perfect, and she reaches down to guide him, push his fingers into her slick wet sex and show him how she likes to be fucked.

Rose clamps down on any cries that might try to escape as the Doctor picks up on her rhythms, fingers fucking her gently at first, then—at her grasp tightening on his wrist—more, harder, until sweat starts beading on Rose’s forehead and breasts and she can feel her climax tensing deep in her belly, coiling tighter with each delicious thrust. The Doctor is a fast learner. (Of course he is.) But she wants more.

“Off,” Rose says breathlessly, pushing at the Doctor’s waistband until he seems to get the hint, propping himself up on one elbow as he removes his hand from Rose’s boxers. But instead of immediately disrobing, he looks at his hand thoughtfully for a moment, and even in this dim light, Rose can see how slick his fingers are, nearly glistening from her. She has approximately half a second to feel embarrassed before the Doctor’s tongue darts out to taste his fingers. Rose just stares as he plunges his fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around the tips, like he might do with a strange new specimen he just encountered, or perhaps one of his very favorite jams. He hums appreciatively and Rose only just manages to stifle a whimper as renewed heat floods between her legs.

The Doctor glances up at her, removing his fingers from his mouth with an obscene smack. “Rude?” he asks innocently.

“Very,” Rose says, pulling herself up by his shirt so she can kiss him again. He tastes like sex. Like sex and something sweet and something musky and animal, primal. He tastes incredible. Struck with indescribable need, Rose pulls at the Doctor’s clothes and this time he definitely gets the hint, sitting back just long enough to strip off his shirt and boxers before returning to help Rose wriggle out of her (his) shorts and Rose might knee him in the ribs a little but before she has a chance to apologize he’s covering her mouth with his, claiming any words that might tumble out. Settling between her thighs (and god, but that’s glorious, the feel of them sliding together, skin on skin at last), the Doctor urges her legs over his hips and around her waist. After teasing her for a moment with his hand, fingers sliding through slick heat to make sure she’s ready for him, absolutely sure—and she absolutely is, almost embarrassingly so, though she can feel herself tightening with anticipation—he pushes inside.

The fullness is almost overwhelming. Rose bites down on his shoulder to keep from crying out.

He draws in a sharp breath. “Is that—?”

“It’s good,” Rose stutters against his neck. “It’s good. You’re good.”

The Doctor leans back to look at her, concerned. He thinks he hurt her. Rose shakes her head—he didn’t hurt her—well he did, just a little bit—well, she’ll be a little sore later—but good sore—and she doesn’t mind, she was a little overeager herself, she just tensed up is all, excluding last night it’s been a little while since she’s done any of this, and this is all stuff that can be discussed later, and don’t you dare stop now, don’t you dare—and she pulls him down by the shoulders for a kiss.

“Don’t stop,” Rose pants into his mouth.

“Right,” he says, distracted, between kisses and bites. It’s a question, not a declaration; for her, not for him. He doesn’t move, doesn’t push further, though Rose can tell he’s aching to. His whole body is humming under her hands, sweating with the effort of holding back. But she’s adjusted to him now, enough that the stinging has given way to warmth and she really, really wants him to start moving. Her hips roll forward, pushing him in deeper, until Rose can feel the full length of him inside her. The Doctor groans at the back of his throat.

“Good?” Rose prompts, chest heaving.

“It’s—ah—good,” he grits out. His hips start moving, grinding against her with slow, long thrusts, his eyes clenching shut. Rose suspects this is the moment his respiratory bypass would be kicking in, in the other body. “Very good,” he gasps.

They fall into a rhythm, pushing and pulling and sliding together, fingernails digging into each other’s backs and hips and shoulders—they’re definitely going to find each other’s marks, later. But for now, Rose arches up and kisses the Doctor’s throat, mouth drawing a path up to his jaw, lips pressing against the space behind his ear until she can feel his heartbeat hammering there. She nips at the sensitive flesh and hears him bite back a curse; she grins so he can feel her teeth on his skin. The Doctor slides his hand back between them and his thrusts pick up in speed and urgency. Tension starts building up again, low in Rose’s abdomen, down where they’re joined, where he’s teasing them both. Little shocks of pleasure ripple through her, previews before the main event.

It’s almost too much, the sensory overload—she very nearly wants to push him away, wants the maddening tension to stop, wants to shatter into a thousand glittering golden pieces. She bucks against him wildly, her toes curling at the feeling of him meeting her stroke-for-stroke, her breath leaving her in a staccato. Their exhales are punctuated by gasps and groans as they clutch at each other, Rose reaching up to drag her fingers through his hair again, her fingernails scraping against his scalp. She feels his responding hum deep in her own sternum and pulls him up for a kiss, mouth open, tongue sliding against his.

After a moment, the Doctor breaks off the kiss, his face twisted in concentration. “Oh,” he gasps out, his voice ragged and husky, words breaking in the air. “Oh, Rose. Oh, fuck.”

Now it really is too much. Rose lets out a shout and her eyes slam shut as she comes, shuddering, muscles clenching deliciously around the Doctor. She arches off the bed, scrambling at the Doctor’s back for purchase as he empties into her with a muffled groan. His thrusts slowing to a stop, the Doctor slumps over her, only to roll off onto his back immediately afterward, chest and stomach heaving as he gasps air back into his lungs.

It’s very quiet in the room, except for how they’re both panting like they just ran a marathon. Lightheadedness swells up in Rose’s skull, complementing the something that feels an awful lot like tenderness settling nicely behind her ribs.

She tries to shut that line of thought down before it can get too far. Because any minute, Rose thinks, he’ll spring up; time to go, time to move on to the next great adventure, time to pretend none of this ever happened. That’s how he would have reacted before, she knows (or she suspects, rather, as if he would have even let things progress so far, before), and there’s no reason to pretend he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing now, last night’s venture notwithstanding. That, Rose reasons somewhere in the pleasant post-sex haze that seems to have replaced her brain, was just a fluke. It’s much more like him to push her away, or to run. Which means it would be better for her, really, if she was the one who left first. So she’s going to. Before he does.

Any minute now.

A few long seconds tick by, and Rose can’t help but notice neither of them is moving away.

Huh. Imagine that.

Tentatively, eyes still fixed glasslike on the ceiling overhead, Rose extends her hand somewhere in the netherspace beside her, where she can hear the Doctor breathing, where she can feel the dip in the mattress that signifies his weight pressing down. She doesn’t have to reach far; her hand finds his almost instantly, or maybe his finds hers, their fingers twining together regardless of the sweat cooling on their skin. She offers a little squeeze, and the next exhale that leaves the Doctor sounds suspiciously like a sigh of relief.

“I must say,” says the Doctor, still sounding just the littlest bit winded, “you make a very compelling argument in favor of this whole humanity business.”

“Damn right I do,” Rose mutters, and they both laugh.

***

Grinning ear-to-ear, it’s all the Doctor can do to keep from running as he strides down corridor after corridor toward his bedroom, hands in pockets and a whole heaping helping of pep in his step.

“Can’t help but notice this isn’t the way to the console room,” pipes up Donna’s voice from the webcam speaker.

“Nope,” says the Doctor, popping the p at the end. “Got to make the rounds first, wake up all the non-comatose humans. And I wouldn’t mind a moment to freshen up in the bath as well. And yes, I will take off the glasses first,” he says before Donna has a chance to.

“You better.”

The Doctor rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry,” he laughs, reaching for the handle on the bedroom door. “I’ll make sure nothing has a chance to offend your delicate—”

The sound of laughter from inside the bedroom stills his hand.

...human sensibilities, he thinks and forgets to say, but it doesn’t matter. The Doctor fully expected to open the door and see his room, painted dark by synthetic night and occupied by a bed and one (1) singular sleeping human—which, of course, is still a strange thing to see, this whole other version of his current self outside the confines of a mirror or any other reflective surface, but still: expected. What he did not expect, however, was not just one human in his room, but two. And after the events of last night, he certainly did not expect to hear either of them laughing. And apparently together.

To be fair, it isn’t the sound that sends his stomach plummeting so much as the implications accompanying it.

Probably he should turn and go, give them some privacy, but he’s too busy lingering and simultaneously chiding himself for lingering. He and Rose shared a bed plenty of times before—well, not always a bed, per se, sometimes more of a bedroll or a cot or a prison bunk or the occasional pile of prickly sneeze-inducing hay—so there’s no reason he should be standing and staring like this, no reason at all for him to be gaping at the door to his room like some kind of slack-jawed idiot. It doesn’t matter what they might or might not have got up to in there, besides sleeping. He’s a Time Lord, for goodness’ sake. He doesn’t—he can’t—care about any of this. He’s better than all this. He’s got to be.

“Wow,” pipes up Donna, cutting through the sluggish silence like a knife through jelly, and the Doctor jerks back from the door before the sharp sound of her voice has a chance to disturb anyone and make the situation even more awkward than it already is. “They didn’t waste any time at all, did they?”

The Doctor does not reply, preoccupied with collecting some thoughts and working overtime to push others away, racing to put as much distance between himself and his room as possible. This doesn’t change anything, he knows. He’s still got things to take care of. He still has research to do. He still has to help Donna. He still…

Jaw set, he grits his teeth against the unwelcome feelings trying to swell up uncomfortably in his throat. What’s wrong with him? Isn’t this what he planned for? Isn’t this what he designed?

(Isn’t this more or less what he knew would happen, when he pushed her away for the umpteenth time? When he told her she wasn’t welcome here, with him?)

“Doctor?” asks Donna’s voice, unusually quiet, now. “Are you all right?”

The Doctor shakes his head in an attempt to clear the nonsense away. “Of course I am,” he replies. “I’m always all right.”

***

He knows he should feel guilty, on some level, allowing himself any measure of happiness while Donna’s in crisis and his other self is so busy tending to her. But the human Doctor is finding it increasingly difficult to dampen his grin whenever Rose so much as glances his way, and when she returns his smile, lashes fluttering and lips curving shyly upward as the two of them make their way to the console room, it takes every ounce of the Doctor’s considerable willpower to keep himself from pulling her into the universe’s tightest, happiest hug. If he were a cynical man (and goodness knows, at times, he has been), he’d chalk up all this giddiness to the postcoital hormones fizzing pleasantly in his veins. Just chemistry, pure and simple. But right now, he’s fairly certain the only chemistry involved here is how hopelessly drunk he is on her.

Of course, then they step into the console room, and the Doctor is forcibly reminded that, much like with actual alcohol, when humans forget to pace themselves, afterward they get to deal with fun little things like hangovers and other delightful consequences.

“There you two are!” pipes up his other self, darting about the control desk, flipping switches and pulling levers. “I was starting to think you’d sleep the whole day away, the both of you. Of course, Rose, you always did sleep like the dead, metaphorically speaking—you could put Donna’s coma to shame—but it’s surprising even to me how quickly your particular brand of circadian rhythms has spread to those around you. Suppose it only makes sense, given the matching human physiologies and all. Still, you two missed quite a lot while you were out, so you’ve got a bit of catching-up to do, the both of you.”

He sounds cheerful enough, bordering on oblivious, but this is a manner the human Doctor remembers all too well, recognizes with startling clarity once viewed from the outside—he’s just a little too nonchalant, just a little too casual, yet somehow manic at the same time as he makes a show of checking monitors and typing commands and pressing buttons, perhaps, just a little harder than he needs to, unable to look either of them in the eye as he does so.

He already knows. Somehow, he’s figured it all out. He knows everything. Of course he does.

Speaking of hangovers, the Doctor’s starting to feel just the littlest bit queasy.

“How’s Donna doing?” he calls out anyway, ignoring the sick feeling twisting in his stomach.

“Oh, right as rain,” Donna’s voice chirps out of the blue. “Thanks for asking!”

Rose and the Doctor both jump. “Donna?” asks Rose in disbelief, glancing around the console room as if Donna may manifest from thin air at any moment. “Donna, was that you? Where are you? What’s—”

“You rigged her up to a medical transceiver, didn’t you?” the Doctor realizes immediately. “And it worked?”

“Apparently,” says Donna. “‘Course I’m still stuck in the medbay, still put under and all that. But he’s got a camera or something sort of rigged up to his specs, so even though I’m asleep, I still can see and hear everything he does. Isn’t that genius?”

“Wow,” Rose breathes. “Are you all right, Donna? You’re not still in pain, or anything?”

“Can’t feel a thing. Could probably use an extra blanket, though, knowing how cold he keeps the place.”

Laughing, Rose shifts her focus to the other Doctor, shaking her head in wonder. “This is incredible,” she says earnestly. “God. You’re brilliant.”

“Thanks,” replies the other Doctor with a grin that’s just a little too tight. “Of course, it’s just the first step of a much longer process, it isn’t exactly a tenable long-term solution to keep Donna rigged up like this—”

“No brain-in-a-computer for me, ta.”

“—but it’s a good first step nonetheless.”

“What’s step two?” asks Rose.

“Step two for me is scanning the nearby systems to find the equipment needed to extricate the offending material safely from Donna’s brain,” replies the Time Lord Doctor, tilting his head distractedly at the monitor as he types in another command. “Step two for you lot, I suppose, is whatever you want.”

“Great,” says Rose. “We want to help you.”

“No need,” the Doctor insists. “I’ve got it all under control. And you know what they say about too many cooks in the kitchen. Speaking of, have you two eaten yet? The galley’s fairly well-stocked at the mo, lots of good proteins and complex carbohydrates at your disposal. I’m sure you two are famished after everything you’ve both got up to last evening. Humans tend to rack up quite the appetite, activities like that.”

The Doctor’s blood pressure drops like a stone. He glances at Rose to find her face carefully composed, her earlier excitement already fading like it was never there.

“You talking about everything with the Daleks and the end of the world?” Rose asks coolly. “Or the sex?”

If she were physically present, the Doctor imagines Donna’s jaw would drop open at that, at the bold frankness of it. Now the blood comes rushing back into his cheeks til he thinks he might catch fire from it. Rubbish human body and its rubbish autonomic nervous responses.

His other self does not look away from the monitor in front of him. “I’m sure the latter is absolutely none of my business,” he says pleasantly.

“You’re right. It’s really not.”

“Yeah, it’s not really any of my business either,” Donna pipes in. “So could we maybe turn the transceiver off for this—”

“Fair enough,” interrupts the Time Lord Doctor, “but then that does beg the question of why you brought it up.”

“It was gonna come up sooner or later. I’d rather bring it all out into the open now. Or would you rather I made passive-aggressive jibes about you two and you lot and snide comments about late-night activities?”

“Honestly, it would be delightful if we didn’t comment on any of this at all.”

“Great,” Rose laughs weakly. “So just ignore it and it’ll go away, just like we always used to do?”

“That’s what you came back for, isn’t it? To get back to the way things used to be.”

“I came back for you!”

“All right,” says the human Doctor loudly, surprising himself and everyone else. “That’s enough!”

No one responds, the console room silent except for the glass column grinding quietly away over the hum of the TARDIS. The Doctor glances between Rose and his other self, pulse pounding sluggishly in his chest, the sick feeling in his stomach growing heavier with each passing moment. The other Doctor still won’t look at either of them.

“That’s enough,” he says again, quieter this time. “We can all have a good row about this later. Our priority right now is taking care of Donna. Everything else can wait. Right?” he adds to Rose, arching an eyebrow meaningfully.

Jaw set and gaze hard, eyes flashing, for a moment it seems like Rose is going to argue with him. But she quickly relents, tension easing from her shoulders. “Right,” she says quietly, nodding.

“Right?” the Doctor snaps at his original self.

The Time Lord Doctor doesn’t look at him, too busy staring at his monitor. “Right in theory,” he murmurs, slowly. “But in practice…”

“What?” asks the human Doctor impatiently. “What is it?”

His original self scans the readings on the monitor again and again, as if different information may yield itself on repeat viewings. Whatever he sees there makes the tight, forced grin melt right off his face. His brow furrows in alarm.

“Doctor?” asks Rose, concerned, now.

In lieu of responding, the original Doctor pushes away from the control desk, racing toward the TARDIS doors. With a great heave, he throws them open, to reveal—

Nothing.

No planet surface beams at them from outside the TARDIS. There is no sun, no stars, no vortex. No light, no dark. No warm, no cold. An empty, silent, colorless expanse extends as far as the eye can see.

“Oh, no,” murmurs Rose, clutching a hand to her stomach.

“What is that?” demands Donna’s voice. “Is something wrong with your glasses, Doctor? I can’t see.”

“That’s because there is, quite literally, nothing to see,” says the original Doctor quietly, shaking his head.

He turns to face Rose and the human Doctor, eyes wide with fear. “We never made it out to the other side,” he says. “We’re trapped in the Void.”

***

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter [forthcoming]]

***

P.S. I would like to give a big shout-out to the absolutely wonderful @tenroseforeverandever @goingtothetardis @hanluvr @ladydiomede @wordmusician @gallifreygirl81 @OH @super_powerful_queen_slayyna and absolutely anyone who ever said something nice about this story or especially if you encouraged me to continue it. I’m sorry this chapter was three years in the making (!!!!) but it is heartily dedicated to y’all lovely lovely peaches! <3 <3 <3

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steve0discusses · 5 years ago

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Yugioh S4 Ep 14 Pt1: Rex and Weevils Ultimate Betrayal No One Gave a Damn About

Just finished watching the Superbowl, which I never ever do, and it was VERY confusing and I thought I remembered this sport but I did not. I don’t know what’s happening. I do not understand how Kansas City got that field goal on San Fransisco when their feet never touched the goal line. So, I’m just gonna...change gears completely and wrap up this long post about a VERY complicated anime that came out before some of y’all were born, instead. Today I just really wanted to feel lost.

Last episode, Yugi (the main character of the show, the one this show is named after) hella died, and Rex and Weevil decided to leave the party very, very quickly.

You’d think that the one event (Yugi’s dead) would have to do with the other event (getting the hellllll away), considering how rude and judgy Yami is, but they actually left for cards. They accidentally did a very wise decision in order to do something incredibly stupid and cancel out any wisdom they showed in pedaling as fast as they could possibly pedal away from the reincarnated ghost who just very suddenly achieved full control of a human body.

They accidentally pedaled away from every Mummy movie super villain and somehow ended up with a much more worse villain.

Like I say that this whole season is about Yugi’s crazy commute, but Rex and Weevil’s commute has just been so much more. They are just clinging to whatever vehicle is near them in order to find these legendary cards sitting somewhere in American Soil. They are so ambivalent to all the very real world terrible problems around them because they’re PRETTY SURE they’re gonna get rich. It’s like the Gold Rush but with helicopters.

Also the 49ers never rode tandem bikes, but you know they would’ve if they could’ve.

And for some, weird reason, Rafeal decides not to pick them up under his arms and toss them directly onto an unsuspecting Joey Wheeler like he just did with Yugi. Rafael and Alister decided...nah...I’ll keep these strange small manchildren.

It seems really off brand for Rafael and Alister but maybe they just got too tired to deal with it right now.

Speaking of tired--this horse.

I mean I’ll do the math eventually--not this post but maybe the next one I just did a lot of math trying to remember why the hell it’s 6 points for a goal in football--but this horse that we estimated would take over 20 days to ride to Death Valley just rode all the way back in the same day. Congratulations horse, the strongest force in all of Yugioh, (second to Yugi’s neck, holding that 70 lb necklace at all hours of the day.)

The girls seem to think that everything is OK initially, mostly because Yugi doesn’t really lose games that often, since the list of ways to beat Yugi in a card game up until now didn’t include “trick Yami into murdering the hell out of Yugi Muto.” Crazy that that actually worked, but Yami isn’t that bright.

PS please admire how chubby this horse appears in this scene.

OK I’m glad we all acknowledged the elephant in the room that was a horse last shot.

Also...maybe he didn’t hug her back because she just shoved a very sharp pyramid necklace straight into his small intestines?

(more under the cut)

I’ll spare you Transatlantacism this time.

Tea is concerned but more surprised than straight up angry. An anger which is more honed by Rebecca because Yami just killed her only friend (other than this horse) and possibly her only future husband that would ever put up with her (other than this horse.)

Like it seems kind of rude in the show out of context that everyone took a moment to lay a big dump on Yami Muto, but can you imagine if you straight up killed your twin (by accident but only by like 75% accident, lets be real) and this was your only punishment?

Like getting punched out is just how Yami treats himself every single day, so I don’t think Joey made too much of a difference in the situation. But you know, it’s Yugioh, so getting punched does is somehow the correct answer.

It was very lucky for Yami that Tea was too busy trying to console Rebecca to punch Yami before Joey got to him first because hot damn that would have sent him straight back to Death Valley.

And then I think this next exchange between Duke and Tristan was somewhat lost in translation. Please admire the censorship here. Safe for kids now.

I say this like a joke but have you seen Equinox? I live in the Bay, so trust me. Equinox is absolutely reviving the Great Leviathan. No doubt in my mind.

Anyway, Rafael and Alister hear Rex and Weevil’s plea to join the evil task force and they’re like...

...yeah, I guess you can apply, why not? No need to interview your or anything before we harass Darts with you.

Like Rafael and Alister were completely bonkers children that were driven to insanity by very extreme circumstances, and then there’s Rex and Weevil. They’re just...kind of middling at cards and that’s it.

But sure, yeah, I’m sure they’ll fit right into the completely maniacal card corporate atmosphere here at DartsCorp. I’m sure Rex and Weevil will jump out of a plane on a motorcycle and then do stunts all the way towards Atlantis Island.

Sure.

(course, now that I think of it, they did introduce themselves to Alister and Rafael by accidentally doing a stunt over a canyon onto a helicopter so...maybe they accidentally think Rex and Weevil are cool?)

Which, in hindsight, makes Mai make a hell of a lot more sense because y’all, they should be SO distracted right now, and shouldn’t let anyone in here who isn’t insane or insanely good at cards. But instead they’re like...I guess you have a duel disk, you’ll work. It’s not like there’s a line of people at the door.

Anyway, because the show has to acknowledge that there might be new viewers, they do their best to try and explain this very lengthy Yugi mechanic as if we’ve never heard it before and honestly, it just sounded like everyone was very frustrated.

Like for reals what is he wearing?

Why are there so few normal ass suits in Yugioh? Why is KAIBA the only person who knows what colors belong on a fitted suit? (And he just wears white, which isn’t a color and is always very safe but youknow it still boggles my mind that the power suit people are so into very friendly soft pastels from Gozaburo, to Pegasus, to Noah, to Darts.)

I would wear this suit to Easter Sunday. Darts just wears it every day.

And so then we get a little insight into what it takes to become an Orichalcos card champion.

While before, Darts just kinda poked Mai in the forehead and she was instantly imbued with Aqua Green Evilness, he decided to do a weird test on Rex and Weevil. Just to make sure they realllllly wanted to be here.

As if they didn’t stow away in a 18 hour flight stuffed into a handbag, hold in their piss for said 18 hours, then get shipped by accident to the Tenderloin, where they were mugged twice, and then get shoved into the trunk of Duke’s car, and then took a broken tandem bike to the hottest desert in America, where they then rode said bike off of a cliff in order to hang onto a flying helicopter.

Like I think this test was unnecessary, I think they want to be here.

But youknow, I think Darts just wanted to torture em for kicks.

And then Rex and Weevil have to grab two of these Oricalchos stones that were farting special effects and were very, very opposed to being owned by Rex and Weevil. But they managed to do it.

And uh congrats--their betrayal has begun!

And I don’t think anyone else on this show even recognized that they freakin left. Like they just kinda disappeared in Death Valley and then Duke was like “eh. They’ll find their way home.”

Kind of incredible that Joey and friends left these two stranded in Death Valley, That alone should have killed Rex and Weevil and like...Wow. Wow is Joey and co such a freakin asshole.

So don’t leave people stranded in Death Valley, they will join a card cult and freakin kill you. If the insane heat doesn’t kill them first.

And then because...I don’t know...I don’t know why, after sending his best and brightest fighters, Darts decided to downgrade and do this:

(based on a true story where a friend of mine worked as an intern in the city, and because they couldn’t pay him a living wage, he lived in a closet at said startup for nearly 2 years. Start-up culture is pretty real, folks, it’s PRETTY REAL. But, on the bright side, at least they had a shower in-house.)

So, I’m gonna go remove my contacts and try to forget how much queso I ate at that Superbowl party.

It was a lot of queso.

and if you just got here, this is a handy link to read these from the start.

PS anyone else pull the Yugioh fest in PAD? Because I have played this game...a lot over the course of 5 years and saved up over 300 free stones for several months in anticipation for this collab and then I pulled Kuriboh about 15 times. Most of you have no idea what that means, but for some of you out there, your heart just broke for me 15 times. (I did get 2 Yugis so I’m fine, but damn it) Then, bro saved up his stones and pulled Seto Kaiba, Marik, and Bakura all in a row. Freakin gotcha games, man. Freakin gotcha games.

#Yugioh #ygo #photo recap #episode recap #yami #yami muto #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #darts #rex and weevil #alister #rafael #duke devlin #tea gardner #S4 #Ep14 #rebecca hawkins #copernicus the horse

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caraudiologic · 6 years ago

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Best Car Competition Subwoofer Reviews

Some people are happy with fairly modest subwoofers because they aren’t looking for much more than to fill out the low-end and feel a little extra bump in their music… but we are not those people.

If you’re someone who isn’t happy with just a little extra bass, or having to listen to your music at a reasonable volume, then you’re in the right place. There’s nothing reasonable or practical about any of the following subwoofers and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

If your idea of a good time is to cruise down the road with absolutely devastating bass that rattles your entire existence, or to park up at a show and rattle the eardrums of anyone who dares to get close, then you’re in for a very good time with the following selection of the best car competition subwoofers.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea, these aren’t only for people who want to enter competitions, and popping in one of these is just one piece of the puzzle if you do decide to compete. These subs are for anyone who wants super loud, super high-quality bass and doesn’t mind investing in the type of audio gear that is required to take full advantage of everything that these subs can do.

Editor’s Choice Competiton Sub

It’s the largest subwoofer that we’re featuring, it can move an incredible amount of air and the bass from this thing is unmistakable

If you’re looking for something as loud and over the top as possible, slap in a couple of these because this is exactly what you’re looking for

READ FULL REVIEW >>>

Check It Out

Best Car Competition Subwoofers Of 2019

1. Orion HCCA154 :

What else can we really say about this monster of a subwoofer from Orion? It’s serious business. This isn’t “your first sub”, this is for people who have been around the block a few times and just haven’t been able to scratch that itch for bass.

This subwoofer gets very loud, very deep, and it’s going to take up the better part of your truck. We have a hunch that you’re happy to give up the space for something like this.

See Price On Amazon >>>

Let’s start this off with a subwoofer that is, by all definitions, absolutely bonkers. This monster subwoofer doesn’t doesn’t just turn heads, it shatters them. It’s difficult to appreciate just how beefy this 15 inch, 90 pound subwoofer really is until you see it in person.

The Orion HCCA154 is not for the faint of heart, none of the subs on this list are. Picture an extra large pizza, and that’s how big this thing is. This is a building block for an insane car audio setup, but even if you’re only planning on using one subwoofer, this one will still be the craziest subwoofer that 99.9% of people that get into your car have ever heard.

This sub can handle 2000w RMS and 4000w max. You’re going to need a solid amplifier in place to power this beastly subwoofer, but thankfully there are a ton of powerful monoblocks that are suitable choices, and they aren’t as expensive as you might think… but anyone looking for a competition-grade 15” subwoofer probably isn’t worried about being as frugal as possible, so make sure you get yourself a proper amplifier and don’t cut corners in that department.

It’s wired up with dual 4 ohm voice coils, so make sure your amp is compatible, and make sure you wire it in correctly – you don’t want to risk damaging this thing!

It’s the largest subwoofer that we’re featuring, it can move an incredible amount of air and the bass from this thing is unmistakable

If you’re looking for something as loud and over the top as possible, slap in a couple of these because this is exactly what you’re looking for

It’s over the top for most people, but this subwoofer isn’t really meant for most people

It’s not easy to install, this thing is massive and super heavy, so it’s not a bad idea to have a little help

Check Latest Price

2. DS18 HOOL12.2D Hooligan

The Hooligan is like the schoolyard bully of subwoofers, it’s not here to make friends. It’s here to disturb the peace. The Hooligan can handle 4000w RMS and 6000w max power, and it does it with a bad attitude.

See Price On Amazon >>>

If the Orion 15” sounds like overkill for the car audio installation that you’ve got in mind, but you still want some SERIOUS bass that can get LOUD, DEEP, and can suck up an incredible amount of power, we hope you get a chance to hear this subwoofer from DS18. The Hooligan series is no joke. It’s available in dual 1, dual 2, and dual 4 ohm configurations so make sure you’re ordering the one that suits your amplifier and wiring plans.

You’ll want to ensure you wire it in a way that gives you optimal power from your amp, because at 4000w RMS this subwoofer is very hungry. The max that this subwoofer is rated for is 6000w. It’s super heavy, and will require an enclosure with reinforcements and supports.

If we told you that this subwoofer wasn’t capable of causing serious havoc on your block, and that you’ll be making some enemies out of your neighbors if you don’t turn it down when you’re getting home at night, we would be liars. Not only will everyone else on the road be able to hear your music, even people with subwoofers of their own will have their bass drowned out with yours. This is not a subwoofer for shy people. That’s probably why they call it the Hooligan.

It’s not the biggest subwoofer out there, but it sure sounds like it almost could be

This aggressively loud and hostile subwoofer is exactly what you’re looking for if you want obnoxious, disruptive, and unapologetic bass

It’s also somewhat difficult to install if you don’t have help, and once again make sure you know what you’re doing to secure it, you don’t want this thing rolling around back there

If you like your neighbors, the feeling won’t be mutual once you install this subwoofer

Check Latest Price

3. Skar Audio ZVX-12v2 :

The ZXV-12 from Skar Audio can hang with the best of them, and hold its own in terms of both SQ and SPL. It may not be the loudest sub on this list, but it sounds fantastic, it bumps at a serious level, and you won’t have to take out a second mortgage to afford it.

Granted, there are some even less expensive options coming up, but this one fills in the middle-ground perfect for people who want something that’s clearly on the next level but also isn’t totally overkill, either.

See Price On Amazon >>>

What we love about this subwoofer from Skar Audio is that it makes competition gear more accessible for consumers who want something way above average, but don’t want to spend a fortune on it. In this case, you can even grab a couple of these, or if you’re still looking for something larger, they also have some excellent 15” and even 18” models available.

Whichever size you go with, Skar Audio’s got you covered when your goal is loud, deep, heavy-hitting bass. For this price, and for how well it’s made, this sub has no business getting as loud and staying as clear as it does.

Value isn’t everyone’s top priority when it comes to choosing gear, but this subwoofer offers a ridiculous level of value. It’s far above the entry-level types of subs, and it can hang with the best of them, even if it’s a conscious step down from some of the very top-tier options we’ve looked at.

With an RMS rating of 1500w (max 3000w), it’s not as demanding as some of the other subs we’ve looked at, but it can still hurl around some serious air. It weighs in right around 50lbs, so you’ll need a strong enclosure, and this also speaks to the build quality. Sometimes, when you see impressive subwoofers at lower prices, it’s because they’ve cut-corners in one way or another, but that’s not the case here.

This subwoofer from Skar Audio offers very impressive value for the price

It’s right up there with a lot of the best subwoofers we’ve seen, when you factor in everything this one is tough to beat

The lower power rating means it’s not going to hit the same levels as some of the bigger and more powerful subs

Check Latest Price

4. Pioneer TSW311D4 :

A budget-minded option for someone who wants an impressive subwoofer, without coming near the point of diminishing returns.

It’s all value here, but it comes at the cost of performance. This is a humble subwoofer, and it’ll serve you well as long as your expectations are in check.

See Price On Amazon >>>

We often view Pioneer as a brand that delivers great quality in the entry to mid tiers, but can also hit it out of the park in their high-end product lines. In this case, this subwoofer falls somewhere in the middle of the pack. It’s far above the entry-level 12 inch subwoofers out there, but it’s also a notch or two below some of the heavy-hitter we’ve featured today.

We’re included this one to serve as an option for someone who wants to straddle the upper-echelon of bass, but is just putting together their first or second system, doesn’t want to have to overhaul their electrical system to power it, and is okay with not having the absolute best.

This is still a more-than-capable subwoofer, but it would be dishonest to pretend that it’s on the same tier as something like the Hooligan or the Orion that we featured above. If the Pioneer TSW311 is in your budget, you won’t be disappointed with the bass it delivers, but if you’re looking for incredible sound quality and earth-shaking bass, this isn’t going to be on the same level as the others.

Affordable price tag makes it accessible for any budget or build

Plenty of power output for all 5 channels at 2 or 4 ohms

Crisp sound quality thanks to built-in equalization technology

It’s a step down from most of the true competition-tier subs on this list

Grille is not included

Only rated for 400w RMS

Check Latest Price

5. Power Acoustik MOFO :

A good way to fill in the low-end of your sound system without breaking the bank, especially if you want some size and power, the MOFO is a good option.

You’ll need to buy or build an enclosure for it, and you’ll be thrilled with the overall performance and value you get from this sub. We don’t mean to make it sound like it’s a full-on budget option, this sub can definitely hang and you get a lot for the price.

See Price On Amazon >>>

This subwoofer is here specifically for people who see something like the Pioneer TSW311, but wish they could push a lot more power to it. As such, it’s going to get louder, it’s going to hit harder, but it’s not necessarily going to have better overall sound quality if you’re listening at more reasonable volumes.

Between the MOFO and the Pioneer, we are featuring two more entry-level choices when we’re talking about “competition subwoofers”, even if these last couple are more meant for personal use rather than trying to impress enthusiasts or to break SPL records.

This is the lightest subwoofer we’ve looked at today, coming in at just over 25 pounds. Weight doesn’t always tell the whole story, but it does start to paint the picture. When you’re getting a big 12 inch subwoofer that can handle 1350w RMS at such a lower price, obviously there are going to have to be certain sacrifices in other areas. Alternatively, taking the Pioneer for example again, the sacrifice in that case comes to the RMS rating being only 400w.

With this one, you get quite a lot more wattage, but you lose out a bit in clarity and overall sound quality. There’s always going to be a trade-off whether it’s cost, power, build quality, audio quality, something else, or a combination of those to varying degrees.

Offers up tons of power at a super reasonable price

It’s not quite as well-made as the other more expensive options on this list, which is the sacrifice you’ll have to make to get everything else that this subwoofer delivers on

Check Latest Price

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moczothe1st · 6 years ago

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Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 15: The Kids are All Right

Part 14

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV. When we last met, you may recall the entire world went to shit. Before we get into too much of anything, let’s see the aftermath play out.

SPOILERS AHEAD, SERIOUSLY READ PART 14 FIRST.

Just as he had planned, this left Arvis as the sole ruling power of the kingdom.

and so Arvis unified all Jugdral under Grannvale’s rule. With overwhelming support from his subjects, Arvis thus became the first Emperor of the Grannvale Empire.

Seventeen years have passed since the battle of Belhalla.

Now struggle under his oppressive, dictatorial rule. Across Jugdral, in the other realms now dominated by Grannvale, their people have been reduced to living as little more than slaves to the Empire’s whims.

(Oh hey look, the evil alliance with the priests of the Dark Lord didn’t produce that utopia after all. How weird.)

Just like his late father, Duke Langbalt. While he lives an indulgent life at the Rivough palace, the people are treated as little more than slave labor.

(And they’re handsome, so they aren’t pure evil. They are, however, pretty awful as we’ll be seeing. Also a pair of total morons, but that’s nothing new.)

Under their rule, Isaach knows no freedom. However, one last hope remains for Isaach. Tirnanog, an isolated village in the kingdom’s far north…

(Damn, Shanan grew up to be a black-haired Sephiroth!)

whose strength grows with each passing day. Among these proud, young warriors is a young man, dubbed “The Scion of Light” by the people of Isaach and revered as the rightful prince of the Grannvale Empire.

Danaan: Shanan and his rebel ilk are growing stronger by the day, and now they hamper us at every turn! And as if that weren’t enough, they harbor the spawn of Sigurd the Traitor! The very existence of this scum utterly defiles my authority over the Isaachian throne! How do you expect me to explain this sorry state to His Imperial Majesty?!

Harold: A thousand apologies, your highness, but everything is already under control. The rebel hideout has been found, and even as we speak an army is on its way to crush them. Those vile rats have nowhere else to run! By sundown, not a single rebel will still be breathing.

Danaan: Hm. Very well. But be warned, Harold. Don’t even think of underestimating them. Most of the rebels are too young to pose a threat, but they still have Oifey and Shanan. Those two alone are extremely dangerous. Dismissing them would be a fatal mistake .

(And I bet that is a sentence you never expected to hear during the first generation.)

Harold: Yes, sir, I’m aware. But I’ve already had Tirnanog, the rebel hideout, surveyed in secret, and neither are anywhere in sight. It’s safe to assume them currently absent, sir.

Danaan: WHAT?! Then why are we still talking about this?! Send the order to move in immediately! The people of Isaach are treating these rebels like some kind of heroes of freedom… but it’s time they learned the error of their ways! Kill them! All of them! I’ll be returning to Rivough. I expect nothing but good news!

Beautiful Man #452: A brigade’s set out from Geneishire and they seem to be headed our way.

(Gee, I wonder whose daughter she is.)

Ayra 2.0: Let them come, I say! It only makes the battle easier for us! It’ll be simple to just walk right over to Ganeishire and pick them off as we go!

Ulster: You’ve gotta be kidding! Prince Shanan’s still off trying to find the Yied Shrine, and Oifey and the others aren’t back yet. It’s just us two against an entire army! Surely, even you can’t think this’ll end well!

Ayra 2, The Astra Continues: I don’t care! You can sit here and be scared witless if you want, but I’m not letting a chance like this pass! The prince still treats us like helpless children, but come one! We’ve had more than enough training! We’re ready for real action!

Ulster: But…

The Aympire Strikes Back: I’m… I’m NOT gonna run away anymore! I’m sick to death of sitting here while those monsters butcher our friends! Or worse… the empire’s thugs are still out there, snagging every girl they see… If Prince Shanan hadn’t come for me that day, I’d be just another one of them. Dead, or wishing I was… I won’t forgive or forget their pain!

Ulster: No, that’s not it, Larcei… You’re right, it’s horrible, but…

Seliph: Most likely, I assume Shanan would have given you strict orders to keep me safe. After all, if he hadn’t, you’d already be out there in the fray! To not be thirsting for a good fight just isn’t the Ulster I know.

Larcei: Oh… that’s… that��s right. Sorry, sir. I was hoping we didn’t have to involve you…

Seliph: I’m no child anymore either, Larcei. If you two plan to fight, I plan to fight by your side. There’s more at stake today than only the resistance. What of Tirnanog? We owe so much to its people. I refuse to abandon them at such a critical hour!

Ulster: But…

Seliph: We’ve no time to waste debating this! Lana, stay behind and help the citizens. We’ll engage the foe in the western gully.

Lana: This is my fight too! You won’t convince me anymore than you could convince Larcei! Every day I think the Empire can’t get any more cruel, and every day I’m proven wrong. They prey on the weak and vulnerable as if snuffing out their lives is a game to them… I can’t sit quietly and accept it! I may not be able to fight, but I’ve my own way of defending everyone!

Seliph: Hm… my apologies, Lana. You are absolutely right: the battle for Isaach’s freedom rests upon all of us. Very well, we shall all go together! How this will turn out, I cannot say…

(Well, it can’t go worse than when your father tried it with his three buddies. … Not a challenge, game.)

Seliph: But we owe it to all of Isaach to give this battle no less than our best.

Lana: Yes, Milord! And, er…. Sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken so brashly.

Seliph: Ha! You’ve nothing to apologize for. Now Ulster, Larcei, Lana… the time has come. Move out!

And here we go.

The game tries to trick you into thinking it’s called ‘Genealogy’ because of the importance of the Crusader’s bloodlines, but that’s only half the story. This is also the first Fire Emblem game to feature a second generation, determined by the Lover bonds you made between the units in your first generation. It’s a revolutionary mechanic that would later be picked up on by modern ultra-popular games Awakening and Fates, and…

God, it’s so badly done. It really is.

The thing is, the game never tells you the second-generation inheritance mechanics exist, or how they work. It never even tells you how to get two first-generation units to hook up, though that’s easy enough to work out (‘Have them stand next to each other a lot’). The only hints you get are from villages in the battle of Belhalla map, by which point it’s already far too late to really fine-tune anything. Basically it’s a situation where you either already know what you want to do going into the game (like me) or you get screwed (like me during my first playthrough when I was playing blind).

And the thing is, this is important. It’s not a minor detail, it affects your entire army for the whole second half of the game. Marry off the wrong people, or god forbid don’t marry anyone at all, and you can end up hamstringing yourself pretty severely. The general mechanics are as follows:

1) Every female character in the army will have two children if they have been paired up with a male character. The only automatic pairings are Sigurd/Deirdre and Quan/Ethlyn. They will have one male child and one female child. The characters are determined by mother only; Ayra will always have Larcei and Ulster no matter who she marries, for example. The father will affect their stats and abilities as listed below.

2) Children will inherit a small boost to their starting stats, based on their parents’ final stats at the end of chapter five.

3) The children will have the same growth rates as their same-gendered parent, boosted by +50% of their opposite gendered parents growth rates. They also inherit Holy Blood; if one of the parents has Major Blood, then the child of their gender will get that while the opposite-gendered child gets Minor. For example, Seliph has Sigurd’s Major Baldur Blood, but also inherits Minor Naga Blood from Deirdre. Unfortunately, most of Deirdre’s growths are hot garbage so his physical growths aren’t much better than Sigurd’s, but he does get a fairly impressive 30% Resistance growth thanks to her, so he’ll end up a much better mage-killer than his dad, and thanks to his combination of Holy Bloods he gets a 140% HP growth rate. This means he’s guaranteed to gain health every level, and has a 40% chance to gain two HP instead of one.

4) Children will inherit any items they can use from the inventory of their same-gendered parents. For example: Larcei and Ulster are Ayra and Jamke’s kids. Larcei inherits Ayra’s gear, and since she can use anything Ayra can, she gets it all. Ulster, by contrast, doesn’t inherit any weapons because he can’t use Jamke’s bows, but he does inherit the two rings that Jamke was wearing, the Renewal Band and the Leg Ring. Items that could not be inherited will show up later, either in the shops or as droppable items off enemy soldiers. (Seliph does not inherit Tyrfing, because of story reasons, but he does inherit all of Sigurd’s other gear. Somehow). They also inherit a portion of their parents’ combined gold supplies.

5) Children will inherit the combined skills of both parents. This is where it starts to get ridiculous, because some of those abilities you probably remember as absurd gamebreakers: Both of Ayra’s kids here inherit her already bonkers skillset of Pursuit, Nihil, and Astra, but they also pick up Adept and Accost from Jamke. This means they have three different ways to double-attack and any one of them can also proc Astra, turning them into basically living chainsaws. The one caveat to remember is that for some reason, Astra, Sol, and Luna can only be inherited by non-mounted characters who use swords. No, the game won’t tell you ahead of time which characters have such children. Why do you ask?

Fun, right? And of course, if a female character doesn’t get married or dies before Chapter 5, then instead of her children you get a pair of substitute characters who will be the same (or very similar) class, but have much different skills, abilities, and stats… most typically ones that are markedly inferior. Though admittedly not always (In particular, a lot of veteran players will tell you the replacement children for Sylvia are better than her actual kids, no matter who their dad is. But I swore I would get them all and I keep my goddamn promises). The much bigger problem with them is that they don’t inherit the items. This is just an inconvenience in most cases, since as mentioned above those items will reappear… but in the case of the Holy Weapons, they’re gone forever since the bloodline that could use them has died out. If Bridget doesn’t get married? Yewfelle is really no-take-backsies lost forever. Same with Lewyn’s Forseti and Claude’s Valkyrie. And to make matters worse, those two idiots have to marry someone who has a son that uses the right weapon type, and the game never tells you who that might be. Lewyn gets off easy: The game pushes him at both Erin and Sylvia, each of whom will have a kid that can use Forseti (though Sylvia… makes it very complicated on you). But Claude… the game pushes him at Taillte when he first joins, and while her son will inherit Claude’s Holy Blood he cannot. Use. Staves.

FUN, RIGHT?!

*sigh*

Well. Now that that’s done, let’s take a look at what we’ve actually got to work with for this map.

Meet Seliph, our new Lord. He’s not bad, though he won’t be his dad’s equal for awhile; the Silver Sword is only a few kills away from being upgraded to gain the Critical skill, which will help him out a lot. I also… discretely ensured Sigurd had the Paragon Band, so he’ll level up quickly to make up for the fact he’s generally our weakest fighter right now. Unfortunately, he gets hurt a little in his base stats because Deirdre’s aren’t typically great except for Magic and Resistance, and Sigurd’s are so awful that Seliph will always start out low on them regardless. For Holy Blood he has Major Baldur and Minor Naga, giving him an impressive total of +50% to HP growth, and +20% each to Strength, Magic, Skill, Luck, and Resistance. So he may start slow, but unless we get really unlucky he’ll pick up fast.

Larcei and Ulster get combined into one entry since barring the fact Larcei has more Skill and Ulster has more luck, they’re identical at the moment. Which is to say amazing. Five very good skills, solid physical stats across the board, and Minor Odo Blood (+20%HP, +30% Skill). The only real reason Larcei is better at the moment is that she inherited her mom’s swords. These two could clear the map by themselves.

And finally, Lana, Aideen and Midir’s daughter. She’s one of the kids who is almost impossible to screw up; Aideen by herself has perfectly good stats and growths for a Priest, so anyone she marries will just be icing on Lana’s perfectly good healer cake. In her case, Aideen’s phenomenal growth in Part 1 means she starts off with unusually good base stats for a level one healer, and she already has access to several great staves (though that Physic staff will need repaired soon, dammit I should have done that last chapter). She inherited Pursuit and Accost as skills from Midir, but she won’t be able to use them until she promotes and can fight; when she does, she’ll be even better in combat than her mom was. And of course, she’s still got Mom’s Minor Ullur Blood for +20% HP and +30% luck growths… and for skill in the bows that she still will never be able to use.

Now then… TO WAR!

….

Oh, there’s no enemy units in range.

Now then… TO MOVE INTO THE MOVEMENT RANGE OF WAR!

End turn.

Not to give you an inferiority complex, bro, but your dad would have killed that guy in his first map. Though, in point of fact, this isn’t so bad; he has the Paragon band, he doesn’t really need kills to get experience yet. It’s better to use him as a decoy for now and let Ulster and Larcei mop up after him.

Like so. This strategy in mind, I move Seliph forward as far as he can manage, into the range of a few other units, and leave the others hanging slightly back. Nobody has been damaged yet, so Lana sits there looking cute. End turn!

Dammit, one was close enough to go for Larcei. I should have checked before I moved her. Ah well, plenty to go around, we’re outnumbered like twenty-five to four.

Ooooh, make that twenty-five to seven. Three new dudes pop in when our turn starts, and they have horses!

Blue Hair #76: I hope everyone’s doing all right…

Blondie: What if Lana’s gone and gotten herself mixed up in the fighting? She can’t defend herself at all if she’s out in the open like this?

(“GEE, THANKS FOR ASSUAGING MY FEARS, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.”)

Blondie: Sir, we should hurry back. The sooner we get back to Lord Seliph’s side, the better.

Porn Stache: Indeed. Come, Dermott! Lester! The battlefield awaits us!

Well then. Let’s take a look at our new arrivals. First we have…

That’s right, it’s Oifey! Our little tactician dude from part one has grown up into a pre-promote with a fantastic moustache for part two. And he is, in fact, not terrible. His stats are perfectly fine and he comes with two good skills, Critical and Pursuit. He comes in at level 15 while the rest of the army is at level 1, however, which is the game’s subtle way of telling you to only use him for emergencies; he will get virtually no experience for killing anything in the first few chapters. Oifey is what FE vets call the ‘Jeigan Archetype’, a promoted overlevelled unit the game hands you as a method of ensuring your newbies don’t get wiped out, but if you rely on them too much those newbies will never get to grow up and be killing machines of their own someday. Unlike many of those, Oifey has fine starting stats and passable growths, and can be useful the whole game if you get lucky (though most of the kids will outclass him eventually), but you should still try not to let him kill anything for at least three more chapters, when enemies his level start showing up.

And yes, he has Minor Baldur Blood. It’s easy to forget, but waaaaaaaay back it was mentioned that he’s actually Sigurd’s distant cousin.

Dermott is a little harder to work out than others, but by looking at his items, skills (Notably, he has Charm, which only one parent can pass down) and Holy Blood (Minor Hezul) we can spot quickly enough he’s the son of Lachesis and Beowulf. He takes after his mother in one way, in that HIS NAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIARMUID, a reference to a hero from Celtic mythology, and it’s been mistranslated. But you know what fuck it I’m too tired, so he can stay Dermott. He’s a solid unit, much like his father… erm… eventually turned out to be, with Pursuit and Accost for offense and Charm to make units near him stronger just by being in his shining golden presence. The combination of his class and Holy Blood allow him to use any non-Holy sword right off the bat as well, so his offensive options are considerable; even if you choose to do something like marry Lachesis to a mage, he can end up a great choice to use magic swords. But given that Minor Hezul blood is a +20% to HP and +30% to Strength growths, it’s really best to stick with a good honest ass-kicker for his dad.

And finally, Aideen and Midir’s other child, Lester. Now, remember when I said Lana was almost impossible to screw up? Lester is almost impossible to not screw up. Aideen’s physical growths are non-existent and he can only use bows as weapons, so if you want him to be inheriting anything of value and have half-decent stats, he needs to be fathered by either Jamke or Midir. Jamke is the better choice in terms of stats, but the rub lies in the fact that for no obvious reason, Jamke won’t pass down Pursuit to his children despite having it himself. I assume this to be a bug, but who knows. Of course, if you don’t care about bows there’s always people like Lex or Holyn who can give him better combat stats… but you saw Midir in the Arena. Archers need a good bow to live. Half the reason Jamke rocks so hard is that he comes with arguably the best non-Holy bow in the game. So enjoy that Brave Bow, Lester, if we get unlucky leveling you up then it will be your salvation.

All right. None of our newbies can join in the combat this turn, but they’re all mounted so that will change soon enough. For now, let’s focus on continuing our strategy. Seliph sets them up…

The twins knock them down.

And to finish things up, Lester goes to have a chat with his sister.

Lester: Why am I not surprised… look, I know I can’t get you to leave, but be careful, okay? It’d break Mother’s heart if something happened to you out here?

(Yes, Aideen is alive, and no, she won’t be helping us out. It’s more common than you’d expect; a solid number of the first generation survived Belhalla only to be too wounded to fight again or to just die later anyway. Mostly the ladies. All these children had to come from somewhere, after all.)

Lana: I know, but actually there was something Mother told me… she said we owe the greatest of debts to the people of Isaach, and if we can help them in any way, we owe it to them to do all we can.

Lester: Yeah, I guess she’s right. I mean, we wouldn’t even be here now if not for the help of the locals… so, er, where is Mother anyway?

Lana: She’s back in Tirnanog’s abbey, working like always.

Lester: Right… Listen, Lana. We’ve got to give this battle our all, both in Mother’s name and in the name of our lost father. Someday, I know, we’ll finally be able to help Mother return to her home, Jungby…

Lana: You’re right, Lester.

And that’s the slightly anticlimactic end of that conversation; Lana gets a free point of Luck from it for… some… reason. End turn; no enemies are close enough to hit us, so after they move it goes right back to our gang of misfits. First, Oifey has words for young Seliph…

(“The… entire world, sire? I was only gone for like an hour.”)

Oifey: The Empire’s grip is tightening still further, as if trying to choke life from the people. It’s inciting doomed revolts all across Jugdral.

Seliph: So it’s as I thought… it isn’t as if the Empire’s tyranny would ever be limited to only Isaach… Oifey, is it feasible to assist them?

Oifey: Not as we presently stand, sire. We still lack the strength to properly challenge the Empire.

(“Among other issues, we somehow managed to get you all of your father’s belongings except his invincible super-sword. My apologies, sire.”)

Seliph: Then what of our present battle? The war for Isaach’s freedom has already begun. Turning back now would be impossible.

Oifey: Hm. There’s certainly no chance of returning you to hiding now that your whereabouts have been leaked, sire. Starting the fight now was reckless, but we’ve no choice but to continue.

Seliph: Oifey, I’m sorry I let all of this happen behind your back, but we had no choice. Even so, I don’t think I could have stood letting Isaach suffer under Dannan’s thumb any longer. I trust you understand, Oifey.

Oifey: I do, sire. Now, our priority is to lay siege to Dannan’s capital, Rivough, with all haste. Dannan must fall before the Empire can send him reinforcements. We cannot afford to wait!

Seliph doesn’t get a stat boost, because I guess he’s not as cool as Lana. It’s okay, though, he can still do another cool thing:

Softening up enemies! And our first awesome level of the second generation goes to Lord Seliph. Most marvelously done, sire. Peons! Attend Lord Seliph!

Marvelously done, peons! I am so pleased I shall not even force you to lay down on the floor and be a carpet for Lord Seliph to walk upon, that he may not dirty his boots.

The turn ends here, because we have nobody else to move. I’m a bit worried that one of the enemies can reach Lana, but I’m not sure so…. Let’s hope?

Oh goodie, the second wave is approaching. But seriously, about Lana…

… Huh. I mean, hey, Lester, if you wanna be like your dad and suck in the arena while being unreasonably lucky everywhere else, more power to ya.

And after that, the enemy is apparently just super uncool with Larcei. Unfortunately for them, Larcei is pretty cool with dodging and very cool with murder. Our turn…

After taking out the trash, our two errant horsemen start moving east, toward Ganeishire, while Seliph goes to stand enticingly in the range of the last enemy. Ulster also finally gets to take a break from stabbing stuff to chat with his sister, since for once there’s nothing nearby for him.

Ulster: Just be careful out here, okay? Your usual brazen antics’ll only get you in trouble now.

Larcei: I know, I know, I know! What, do you think I’m still a child?!

Ulster: Heh, man that iron will of yours! I guess you’re just like Mom was, if what Prince Shanan’s told us is true.

Larcei: Yeah… Ayra… I can’t remember a thing about her. You?

Ulster: No, of course not. We’re twins, remember? If you were too young to remember, then so was I. We weren’t even two years old back then… it was Oifey who took us with him when he fled to Isaach with Seliph. We waited and waited, but Mom never followed… I guess she didn’t make it out of the Battle of Belhalla alive.

Larcei: Ulster! You swore you’d never say things like that! Mom is alive! ALIVE! I’m sure of it! Don’t you dare say otherwise ever again!

(*cough* I’m actually pretty sure she isn’t. Which really just makes this sad, so… sorry.)

Ulster: Er… sorry, Larcei. You’re right… I’m sorry…

Larcei gets +1 to Luck from this conversation too, because anger makes you stronger? End turn.

Man, nobody wants to fight Seliph. Do these peasants believe themselves too good to take blades to milord?! HOW DARE THEY.

Not much to do from here but move east; two turns of that puts us into combat range of the enemy’s second wave of troops. Ulster, if you’d do the honors of waiting just within their range? End turn.

Good man.

… Oops, misjudged the distance. Well, Lana will be happy, she finally gets to do some real healing instead of just kissing boo-boos. Now for our turn….

And our first crappy level of the second generation goes to Lester! Good job, Lester. You’re really honoring that lack of confidence I had in you. End turn.

…. Did he… did he just kill himself out of spite?

Leave Larcei alone, jeez. I know she’s awesome, but come on, there have to be better ways to die.

And our turn begins with the sight of a bandit suddenly appearing out of nowhere moving up to a village behind the enemy’s castle, because didn’t we all miss that. Ulster’s got the leg ring and Dermott has a horse, so I send them out ahead to try and get there before too much gets burn. Seliph kills an archer, and gets his second level.

As a western gamer I’m told I’m supposed to love Big Awesome Superman Sigurd more than Beautiful Man-boy Seliph, but if he keeps getting levels like these I may have to reconsider that.

Lana also gets her first level from healing, which while not quite as absurd, does give her Defense. That’s her weakest point, so I can’t be too angry. A few turns of movement follows, until Ulster finally reaches the village and clears it.

Way to get hit on a 25% chance, dumbass. But at least you killed the enemy, so… ‘good job’. The rest of the team, having nothing better to do, starts attacking the castle defenders.

We’re making pretty good time! Gaineshire should fall quickly from here. I move Dermott over to stand next to another defender, hoping it will be softened up from here. And since Oifey has the least money, he takes the first village.

Info Master: The younger two serve him here in Isaach. Johan controls Isaach Castle, while Johalvier controls Sophara Castle. They’re both kind of odd, and they’ve both got this obsession with someone in your army called Larcei. Always squabbling, they are… I dunno, though. Neither of them are all that bad, really. Heck, I bet they’d want to join forces with you!

FORESHADOWING.

End turn.

That’s what I like to see. Hard workers. Our turn clears out the final defenders…

And hell, let’s take a risk and let our up and coming young rock star of a lord take first crack at the boss.

(“I mean, yes, they have killed all of my men, and it’s only been like an hour, but…”)

Ah, yes. Did you miss Pavise? I did. And on his own turn, he actually connects, taking Seliph’s health down to the danger zone. But also gaining him a new level!

I will never say no to more defense. Lana burns a charge of her Physic staff to heal him up, and I send Lester to swing up and take a shot from the side.

Seriously, fuck Pavise. Ulster, can you wrap this shit up?

Because they proc Astra, bitch.

… And they torment me with shit levels right after triumphing. God, you people are turning out just like your parents. Dermott took a nasty hit fighting the defenders, so I send him down south to a cathedral to pay for healing since he’s not cool enough to earn Lana’s attentions. And with that, time to seize our first castle of Gen 2.

(He said, a perfectly nice town and some lovely trees in the background.)

(… Yes, hello, Your Majesty. You weren’t helping us out becaaaaaaaaaaaaaause?)

Lewyn: Just Lewyn, Seliph… like I’ve always been. Silesse is just another Imperial conquest now…. That’s all it’s been since the mess in Belhalla. And meanwhile here I am, still living a pathetic, shameful life for all to see.

(Yeah that’s great. Look, pack up your magic books and get back in line, soldier, we have an Empire to sort out.)

Lewyn: At least my mother faced Silesse’s demise, and her own, with pride and dignity! But me? Nope! Still just an idiot bard… don’t listen to what Oifey says of me, Seliph. Please, don’t call me a king ever again.

(Okay yeah but do you still have Forseti. I would really like some Forseti, please.)

Seliph: I… my apologies, Lewyn…

Lewyn: Heh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. More importantly, looks like you’ve finally got this revolution thing started! There’s no place more fitting than Isaach to begin fighting back against the Empire.

Seliph: Indeed! The courage of Isaach’s people is matched only by the pain and anger they feel because of the Empire. All we’re missing now is for Prince Shanan to return and join the fray himself.

Lewyn: He ran off to follow some rumor, didn’t he?

Seliph: Mm. Rumor has it his birthright as heir to the Isaach throne, the holy sword Balmung, is being kept in a shrine in the Yied Desert.

(Oh god not that place again. So much sand…)

Seliph: As I understand it, the entire desert region is home to an evil priest. I trust Shanan’s might, but I cannot help but worry for his safety…

Lewyn: If anyone can do it, it’ll be Shanan. Actually, Seliph, I’ve a favor to ask of you.

(Bitch you can ask me for favors when you’re blasting my enemies with wind magic. JOIN THE ARMY.)

Seliph: Oh? If it is within my power, I’ll gladly help. What is it?

(Dammit Seliph you suck at negotiation. We have to play hardball with this guy!)

Lewyn: Since then I’ve been looking after her in a hidden little corner of Silesse, until we had to get out a while back as the Empire set about tightening its grip. The thing is, I’ve got things that need doing over in Leonster, and at this point she’s just slowing me down. I hate to impose, but I don’t have much of a choice. Could I leave her with your group for a while? I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened.

(…. Yeah, dude, I don’t know if you remember it, but his father took in a mysterious waif once and it ended really bad.)

Lewyn: I still don’t know what happened to her, but it must have been pretty awful. Poor thing. Back when I first found her, she couldn’t remember a thing about what happened. It looks like she still can’t…

(Oh jeez, she has amnesia too. I’m getting some déjà vu here, and not in a good way. Yeah, gonna have to give this one a super hard no, so…)

Seliph: I see. Very well, you can trust me with her, Lewyn.

(God dammit, Seliph.)

Seliph: However, I must ask you return for her as soon as possible She won’t feel too comfortable in an army of strangers.

Lewyn: Deal. Heh, I’ll probably be back here by the time you’re finished freeing Isaach. Good luck, Seliph.

Seliph: May the gods be with you as well, Lewyn.

(Fuck off, Lewyn.)

Seliph: Until Lewyn returns, I swear I’ll let no harm come to you… I know I’ve much to learn, and I’m not yet all that strong. But one day… someday, I know I’ll be strong enough to protect us all! Someday, I’ll have the strength to defend all the world’s people from the Empire’s wrath! Someday I’ll be strong, just as my father once was…

(“Someday, I’ll be Hokage!”)

Julia: Seliph…

Well. She’s a sparkling conversationalist. Now, normally I would cut things off here. But coming up next turn is one of the few choices the game has to offer, and I would actually like to let you guys vote on it, so we need to do one more scene.

Dannan: What in the blazes are my sons doing?! Someone, tell them to take the rebels down, right now!

Johan: But I could never lay a finger on Larcei, even if she is among my foes… ahh, what a dilemma standing before me…

So that’s Johan and Johalvier. They’re a pair of fucking idiots, but we can recruit one. Yes, one. Whichever one Larcei talks to first will join your army; the other will have to die because they are, again, fucking idiots. But hey, since I’m a kindly sort, I’ll allow you the choice of which one we recruit. The gist of them:

Johalvier:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 50%, Spd – 10%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

Johan:

Growths: HP – 110%, Str – 40%, Mag – 0%, Skl – 20%, Spd – 50%, Luck – 10%, Def – 60% Res – 5%

(P.S. Both have Minor Neir Blood; the bonuses from it are included in their listed growth rates.)

As you can see, it’s not a huge difference. Both uses axes as weapons; Johan will always use only axes, while Johalvier can learn to use bows after he promotes. Each only has one (at least pretty good) ability, and their growths are mostly identical; about the only thing worth noting is that Johan’s speed growth is significantly better, probably to make up for the fact his starting speed is four points lower. Johalvier in general starts off with better base stats, in fact, but that’s made up for somewhat by the fact that Johan has a horse and he doesn’t.

Really, tl;dr, neither of them is appreciably better than the other in gameplay terms, unless you’re doing a speed run. So, let me know if you have an opinion on which one to grab, and if there’s a clear winner I’ll pick him up next week. See ya then!

Part 16

#let's play #let's play fire emblem IV #let's play fire emblem #fire emblem IV #vote

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slapegg · 3 years ago

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2021 Games Wrap-Up

This most definitely isn't a “game of the year” list or a rating/ranking of games that came out in 2021. It's more just a way for me to say a few things about some games I played this year in a quick and loose manner. Most of these games didn't even come out this year, this year just happened to be when I played them. So right into it:

Avengers

Man, if there was ever a game that stank of managerial incompetence, it's Avengers. Plenty has been said about the casting, terrible dialogue, and “straight to video Avengers” feel to the game, but buried deep, deeeeep in there are some elements that are actually kind of good. I liked the main villains and their story, it has some neat set pieces, and some of the powers are fun to use. But any time I was remotely close to enjoying myself, the game would crash, fail to load a mission objective so I had to do the whole stage over again, the camera would freak out, the controls would stop working, the AI partners would stop moving, the AI partners would get stuck on the environment, the AI partners would jump in front of me and push me away from the enemy I was fighting, and any other number of flaws that show that this game is just broken at its core. I fully understand why you can't make super heroes feel as strong as their comic counterparts in a video game, but outside of Thor and maybe Captain America, every character in this game isn't fun to use. The Hulk, a character whose entire being is defined by his overwhelming strength and practical invincibility, dies in three hits, is terrible against bosses, is slow and obstructs most of the camera, and his only effectiveness is against mobs of small enemies where you don't actually need powers to deal with them and Thor is better at it anyway. The core loop of the Destiny-style “do a mission, get some better gear, and make some numbers go up” works extremely well, but that kind of grind when you're trying to work on 10 characters at the same time makes for a bad game. Your options are to spend hours and hours doing tedious work powering up all ten characters to get the most rewards and make them all useful or you just pick one or two characters and ignore the rest, which defeats the whole purpose of making a game built around a team of super heroes. Just think of how much money was spent on this project and what a mess it turned out to be and feel really, really sad.

Capcom Arcade Stadium

Definitely not a “2021” game seeing as how they're all from the 80s and 90s, but dang this was a great package. I wouldn't have bought most of these games on their own but getting them in a bundle got me to play a lot of new stuff. And most of it was trash, but it was fun to give it a shot or see it for the first time. You're basically buying 5 or so good games you want and getting 30+ things for free to experiment with. The Rewind and Fast Forward functionality in the package are things I just want for every game, and it's what makes the collection work so well and makes it worth your time to try some of the bad games in the collection. Progear and Gigawing turned out to be two games I'd never played before but I came back to them several times. I'm not really a fan of scrolling shooters, but two well-made ones with interesting gameplay gimmicks and absolutely bonkers stories got me really invested.

Castlevania Advanced Collection

This adds the Rewind functionality that was missing in the Castlevania Anniversary and Contra Anniversary collections so it's a better bundle for that, but ouch did nostalgia take some hits on this one. After playing Rondo last year, Dracula X is... a really bad game. Harmony of Dissonance is such a joyless take on the Symphony formula. The castle in Circle is such a pain in the butt to get around. But Aria of Sorrow is still cool! Hopefully they find a way to get rid of all the touch screen garbage from the DS games and they can release a collection of those, but at least I have access to all of them on their original carts.

Destroy All Humans

I was super surprised by this one. As far as “remasters” go, DAH is probably one of the best. That's not to say the game itself is great, but the amount of work the team put into this was really impressive. They could have just made everything higher resolution, but they put in the work to make new models, updated the controls, and added in a level cut from the original, although I could have done without the Rick and Morty reference out of nowhere. DAH is certainly a game of its time from how it handles missions, bad stealth requirements, awful side missions, having an abundance of collectibles but no map or way to tell if you're near them, questionable writing, and so on. And this is a game where the collectibles just unlock concept art, but the art is fun so I want to see it, but I'm missing one or two collectibles in almost all of the maps, grumble... DAH is dumb, but in many good ways. You can complete it in a few hours if you're just doing the story, so wait until it's on a deep discount and you want to listen to Invader Zim and a Bad Jack Nicholson yell at each other while you execute cheesy B movie sci-fi violence. Some times that is a thing you want.

EDF Wing Diver The Shooter

Also very dumb. Also very enjoyable. Also making me crack up while I write this just imagining that soldier shouting “Get some cake!”.

I'm also ranked #4 in the world on the Playstation servers on this game and I am both proud and ashamed of that. EDF is just so bad and so good.

I also played World Brothers but that was... meh. Super glitchy, ludicrously grindy and tedious, but kind of fun in spots. When it's not being... problematic?, the writing is surprisingly strong, and oddly informative on the economics of tofu. Some really fun characters and some amazing moments in the final missions. I definitely hope EDF continues the squad mechanic in future games because I loved that, just without the random loot box garbage to unlock and upgrade characters and weapons.

Maneater

Apparently I just went with “dumb and fun” this year, because that's what Maneater does and kind of all it does. It's a game where you play as a very angry mutant shark and it owns that.

Saints Row 3/4

Every couple of years I tell myself I'm just going to play through the story mode and then that always seems to turn into “I'm going to 100% both of these games”. The Remasters aren't great but they're serviceable. I ran into some of the same bugs I found in the original versions of the game and they introduced new ones (never put your system in rest mode while playing this game or saving might break!), but these are still damned fine games, except for some really bad DLC that is rarely fun to play.

That new Saints Row though, woof. If you told me that reveal trailer was for a new Watch Dogs game, I'd have no problems believing that. Really happy they delayed it by so much and I hope it turns out great, but expectations are very low right now.

Sega Genesis Classics

Another just superb collection of old games with fantastic implementation of Rewind and Fast Forward functionality. Between this and the Capcom version, the Sega collection has far more good/great games and some absolutely stellar classics. Can't recommend this one high enough if this was your era of games or you have interest in what's available here.

Yakuza

I talked about the series a bit when we posted about Like A Dragon earlier in the year, but dang going from never having played a Yakuza game to now playing all the main series ones in about a year... I have some conflicting emotions and thoughts but it was a ride. Pairing some truly terrible gameplay and some absolutely fantastic characters and stories, I would say I love this series but also half the series is trash. Yakuza 0 and Kiwami 1 are must-plays, just set the combat to the easiest level so you can burn through it as fast as you can and focus on what's important: real estate mini-games. Give Kiwami 2 a play if you're still in the mood for it. Pretend 3 and 6 only exist as summaries in Wikipedia. Forget that 4 and 5 exist.

So that about wraps the year up for games. I played some other things here and there but nothing that stirred any deep thoughts in me, or I've just forgotten that I played them so they can't be that special.

Next year in games is looking mighty underwhelming. We're a second year into a new console generation and there still isn't anything that looks interesting enough to warrant buying the new systems. I'm sure I'll pick up a PS5 several years from now when the next models/hardware refreshes are out, but it's going to take a lot of price drops and far more games to come out before I consider it.

#2021 #Games #Wasting my life

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bmaxwell · 4 years ago

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Best Games of 2020

2020 was a lot. It will be remembered for many things far above and beyond video games. COVID-19 shut the world down in a way never seen in my lifetime. It changed day to day life for many of us, and cost many of us loved ones. It was also the year when the ugly parts of our capitalist society were shown in broad daylight. It feels like 2001 again in that our lives will be divided into pre-2020 and post-2020.

For me personally, I was able to keep my job and work from home, and no one close to us died to the pandemic. We stayed home as much as possible, wore masks, wiped down groceries, and did our best to control what we could. It can be hard to talk about stuff like video games and sports with the usual sort of fervor when the world feels like it’s falling apart around us. It feels like playing the violin aboard the Titanic. But self-care is especially important in times like these, and it’s healthy and necessary to close Twitter, or for-the-love-of-god fucking Facebook and get a breather sometimes. Finding a balance where I could stay informed without completely submerging myself in misery wasn’t always easy.

And so. 2020 was a pretty good year for games, though it must be noted that there is a cost to that escapism - the industry is rife with stories of abuse, burnout, and coverups from companies such as Ubisoft and CD Projekt Red, Naughty Dog, and many others. That can add an additional layer of exhaustion to what is supposed to be a relaxing escape. So I can understand the people who say they don’t want to hear about abuse in industry, they just want the games. But also, fuck those people. “I don’t care if you suffer to entertain me, I just don’t want to hear about it.” Fuck the whole entire way off.

But I digress. Like most years, I played a lot of games. I played a lot of coop beat-em-ups with my kids this year. Minecraft Dungeons and Streets of Rage 4 didn’t make the list, but I spent hours playing them with my middle child. And it wasn’t a 2020 release, but I had a blast playing River City Girls with firstborn. It was a good year for fans of tactics games with stuff like Gears Tactics, Troubleshooter, Wintermoor Tactics Club, and Fae Tactics. 2020 also saw new console releases, though the launch lineups were especially thin.

Gaming-wise, 2020 was the year of Xbox Game Pass for me. I spent most of this console generation (justifiably) dogging Xbox for their lack of platform exclusives, but I decided to pursue an Xbox Series X before a Playstation 5. Game Pass is the main reason for this. The “Netflix for games” thing has finally become a reality, and Sony just doesn’t have an answer for the bonkers value of Game Pass. We head into the new console generation with Microsoft leaning heavily on Game Pass subs, Sony still banking on a few console exclusives, and Nintendo, uh, doing their own thing over there. What a fascinating time for the industry.

Honorable Mention

It’s an honor just to be nominated.

Monster Sanctuary

If you start with Pokemon, strip away the anime, and mix in a healthy dose of metroidvania, you have Monster Sanctuary. This means there are monsters to collect, level, and evolve, and lots of combat revolving around elemental strengths and weaknesses. And I am here for that shit. A game like this lives and dies by its combat, and it’s very satisfying here. The game has plenty of choices about which skills to focus on for each monster, which gear to equip, and which monsters to keep in your active roster.

That said, between a couple of nasty difficulty spikes and some super-frustrating puzzle rooms, I was close to walking away from the game on multiple occasions. It’s a testament to the game’s quality that I kept coming back to it.

Animal Crossing

Animal Crossing on the Gamecube is one of my favorite games ever. Each game in the series since the first has felt like a small incremental change from the original. I played Wild World on the DS quite a bit, City Folk a bit less, and A New Leaf not at all. I was thinking that maybe enough time has passed that I could get wrapped up in New Horizons, but I fell off it after a month or two.

I’m wondering what I would want from a new Animal Crossing game, and the answer is nothing. How much can you change the game and still have it be Animal Crossing? I don’t think the game is bad by any means. My whole family shared an island community for a couple of months. It’s impossible for a new game in the series make me feel the way that first game did.

The most memorable part of New Horizons is the museum. The museum is huge and absolutely lovely, with fish, bugs, fossils, and art each having their own wing. There were a few nights where the tranquility of the museum made for a nice end of the day.

Tell Me Why

My wife, firstborn, and myself have made a nice routine of playing through “choices matter” games together (starting last year with Detroit Become Human and following up with Life is Strange 2). Tell Me Why is the latest one one of these we tackled as a group. These game have created some memorable moments for us; who could forget their child yelling for them to “shoot the hooker”? (thank you, Detroit Become Human).

Tell Me Why was on my radar because it’s One of These, but also because it features a transgender protagonist. As a parent of a trans child, I was both excited at the prospect of this and also worried that it is such an easy thing to fumble. I’m pleased to report that DONTNOD handled the writing of the trans person very well without being hamfisted, preachy, or tryhardy with it. The character of Tyler is a believable trans man, and the topic is spoken of matter-of-factly without placing special focus on it; being trans is a part of Tyler’s story, but it’s not the entirety of his identity.

Less impressive to me was the story itself - especially the way it wrapped up its main conflict. The game trades in the idea of memory being imperfect, which is fascinating in and of itself, but I did not like it as a game mechanism. How did this REALLY happen? One character remembers it one way, and the other remembers it differently. Choosing between them felt cheap and hollow to me; I want you to tell me what happened, don’t ask me to choose. Still, I enjoyed my time with the game, and it feels like a step forward in mainstream storytelling for LGBTQA characters.

Ghost of Tsushima

Ghost of Tsushima is flat out gorgeous. Practically every area and every moment in the game is begging to screenshotted to the point where it can sometimes pull me out of the game world a little bit. That’s not necessarily a complaint because, as I said, the game is freaking beautiful. But every part of the world looking like a painting makes it feel more like it takes place in a fantasy world and less like a game from feudal Japan.

I also had some ludonarrative dissonance going on with the game; you play as Jin, one of the few surviving samurai in his homeland which has been invaded by the Mongols. His uncle is being held prisoner, and combatting the occupying force would be impossible without using dishonorable techniques like hiding, attacking from a distance, and ambushing from the shadows. I, however, have no qualms and savored every opportunity to catch my foes unaware. So Jin voices his doubts, then goes into a camp and proceeds to cut his enemies down from shadows as I cackle with glee.

Ghost of Tsushima also combines dark souls-esque* combat with Ubisoft-style open world gameplay where you’re hunting down icons on a map. That kind of open world game is hard for me top stick with, especially after I spent ~30 hours with Assassin’s Creed Origins early in the year. All of makes it sound like I’m pretty down on Ghost of Tsushima, which I’m not. I’m hoping I’ll come back to it at some point when I have more of an appetite for One of These.

Crown Trick

My Dungeons of Dredmor hole has not been properly filled in a long time. Chcocobo’s Mystery Dungeon is the closest I think. These games are what I think of as roguelikes, though the progression between runs makes them roguelites. *tips fedora*

Crown Trick is a turn-based dungeon crawler where the map is a grid, and each time you act, the enemies act. Add to this clockwork puzzle gameplay a good variety of weapons, relics, and events and you’ve got a lot of replayability. It doesn’t have Dredmor’s ridiculous combination of skill classes, but it does have a neat Mega Man-esque system where you defeat minibosses and add their skill set to your build.

Top 10

10. Star Renegades

Star Renegades was not on my radar at all until I heard Austin Walker talk about the game on Waypoint Radio. Two things gave me pause:

- It’s a sci-fi-ass game. It’s a setting I don’t care for. Star destroyers and aliens and galactic battlecruisers aren’t my jam. - Austin Walker’s enthusiasm is infectious. I’ve tried games after hearing him gush over them and those games haven’t worked for me.** That’s not an indictment, he and I just have different tastes.

Star Renegades ticks a few important boxes for me: it has a lot of characters to unlock, it’s highly customizable, and the combat is turn-based with a twist. Every action, whether friend or foe, appears on a timeline. Some attacks will push their target’s action back on the timeline, so there’s a puzzle element to the combat that keeps it feeling fresh. You can choose the makeup of your party on each run, which helped give the game a buttload of replay value.

It’s not flawless by any means. The writing tries a little too hard to be cheeky and ends up feeling tryhardy and a little flat. A decent run in the game would often take 2-3 hours, which makes it feel deflating when it ends in failure - which it frequently did. The sections of the game where you move between zones on an overhead map feels needlessly clunky, and sometimes I ended up with movement points I couldn’t spend because of how the game handles that system.

I enjoyed Star Renegades a lot, but my time with it was weird. The game has unlockable characters, so unlocking them all was my first priority. The game’s runs are pretty long, I was playing sub-optimally trying to unlock things, and the game is more difficult than I’d expected. It took me a long time to complete the unlocks, then I had a hard time actually finishing a run successfully. Eventually I was ready to be done with it and turned the difficulty down to easy**** just to finally get a W. Still, the positives far outweigh the negative here, and Star Renegades is one of my favorite games of 2020.

9. Immortals Fenyx Rising

Man, something happened to me this December. I’m currently finding myself playing a lot of Forza Horizon 4, Destiny 2, and Immortals Fenyx Rising. None of these is My Kind of Game. Immortals is probably the least surprising of these, because it at least has swords and bows and stuff.

Still, I dismissed and mocked Immortals Fenyx Rising when it was first shown. It was called Gods & Monsters back then, and the idea of Ubisoft making yet another open world game, this time aping Breath of Wild was not appealing at all. I only ended up with the game after trading in Cyberpunk 2077 for Xbox credit and looking into Immortals because I was very surprised to see it on Game Informer’s game of the year list.

To get a few things out of the way, it absolutely recycles a lot from Breath of the Wild: you’ll be hang gliding, scaling walls as a stamina meter drains, finding shrines that contain puzzles and combat and climbing towers to get a vantage point and find points of interest on the map. The latter feels the most fumbled in this game - you can zoom in and survey the landscape, and your controller vibrates when you are looking near a point of interest. Move the cursor over it and press a button to reveal it on the map. They split the difference between Assassin’s Creed’s “all the icons pop in automatically” and Zelda’s wonderful “manually mark places that look interesting to you on your map” system and ended up with something neither functional nor interesting.

That’s where my complaints end though. The game’s art style is similar at a glance, but it’s vibrant and gorgeous, and never feels like Breath of the Wild. The combat is snappy, responsive, and challenging. The puzzle design is often creative, clever, and rarely frustrating; most of my frustration has come from my overthinking the puzzle solutions. There is plenty of gear to find, and the game’s cosmetic options are intuitive and welcome. The game’s narrative is better than I expected; it feels like a B-tier Disney movie. The writing has made me smile a few times, and made me roll my eyes a few times. Zeus as comic relief is a pretty major miss, but it’s fine apart from that. It helps that I’m already familiar with Greek mythology.

It’s a huge, beautiful world where traversal and combat feel great. It’s sometimes hard to get anything done because I am constantly distracted by tracking down an icon on the map, or just exploring because I saw something cool or strange. Not all of the puzzles and challenges work, but that’s okay because I can move onto something else. Immortals Fenyx Rising is this year’s Dragon Quest Builders 2: gaming comfort food where it feels good to sit back and check things off a list at the end of a long day. Still don’t like the name though. And fuck Ubisoft.

8. Atomicrops

The first mention of Atomicrops I remember was “What if Stardew Valley was a twin stick shooter?” which is bullshit, because the games bear no resemblance beyond “there’s farming”. Beyond that first blurb, what appealed to me is the idea that the game’s days take place in 2 phases: during the daytime, you go out and fight baddies to gather seeds, and at night the baddies invade your farm and you fight them off while planting and watering crops.

It’s also a run-based roguelike, and I am 1 of 26 remaining people who is still psyched to play those. Give me a challenge, mix up the details, let me upgrade stuff between sessions, and turn me loose. The game has a good variety of weapons and the challenge is satisfying and rarely feels unfair (apart from the bullet hell problem of too much stuff on the screen at times). I don’t love the art style, but the music sure makes up for it.

7. Wintermoor Tactics Club

A game needs more than charm to be memorable and enjoyable. Charm can go a long way though, and Wintermoor Tactics club has it in spades. It takes place at a small college, and you play as a girl named Alicia. She and her friends are members of the school’s tactics club, and much of the game takes place around a table littered with graph paper, rulebooks, and snacks. As someone who loved tabletop RPG’s in simpler times, and never had the traditional college experience, a prettied-up version of that appeals to me in a huge way. It’s not wholly idyllic though, and it touches on issues of discrimination and what it’s like to be an outcast.

The gameplay itself is pretty straightforward tactics stuff and it works fine but isn’t really the draw here. I was propelled through the game largely by a desire to meet the next character, get the next story bit, and keep basking in the game’s wonderful aesthetic and smart writing. There’s something lovely about sitting around the table and playing a game with friends, and this game really captures that.

6. Ratropolis

Ratrpolis is “A fusion of roguelite, tower defense, city-building, and deck-building!” which sounds like a hodgepodge of nonsense. And it kind of is. It’s a city building game where you are periodically being invaded from either the left or right side of the screen (or both). You choose from 6 leaders, each with their own pool of cards and play style, start with a basic deck of cards and slowly evolve it. The cards consist of buildings, military units, and various economic and military buffs. The major things that set this apart from favorites like Slay the Spire are that it happens in real time, and there is an economic aspect to manage. Tax money comes in every few seconds, and it’s possible to make poor decisions early on and not understand why you feel hamstrung later.

I spent a lot of games like that, not really understanding why I’d be doing okay and then get overwhelmed. I had a few rage quits early on, but I could tell that there was something there. I started approaching it with the mindset of building an economic engine in the early game, and I started having a lot more fun and success. Each of the 6 leaders feels distinct, and figuring them each out has been a lot of fun. Runs are usually no more than about 30 minutes, which feels about right.

5. Final Fantasy VII Remake

Despite identifying as a big JRPG fan, I’ve never enjoyed a mainline Final Fantasy game enough to finish it. This year I finished 2 of them: Final Fantasy XV and the Final Fantasy VII Remake.*** I played the original Playstation Final Fantasy VII release, I think I got through disc 1 and a little ways into disc 2. It didn’t resonate with me, so I came to this year’s remake with no reverence for the game. When many of the original game’s fans got upset with how much the remake changed the script from the source material, I didn’t have a horse in that race.

The remake is gorgeous, the combat and upgrade systems are engaging, and the story is interesting enough to keep me wanting to see what’s next. The 1997 release of the game had some stuff that isn’t going to play the same in 2020 like the scene where Cloud is crossdressing, the game’s themes of environmental activism, and, uh, the entire Don Corneo storyline come to mind. But the game handled all of this pretty well. I’m glad to say that this is one of the best RPG’s I played this year, and I look forward to the next entry whenever the hell it comes along. Cloud is still an unlikable punk though.

4. Monster Train

Slay the Spire was a surprise hit a couple of years ago, and inspired a lot of folks in the indie space to take a crack at the deckbuilding genre. Monster Train managed to to take inspirations from Slay the Spire but still feels like very much its own thing. Both games have you progressing through a series of encounters consisting of battles, shops, or small events trying to defeat the big bad at the end of a journey. You start with a deck of basic cards and upgrade them and add new cards along to way. You can’t really start a run planning on making a certain style of deck, you just choose from the cards available and watch the strategy form. The way this process tickles my brain makes these games endlessly replayable. The “one more run” is very strong here.

Monster Train differentiates itself in a couple of ways. First, where Slay the Spire was always just your one character battling one or more enemies, here you are summoning multiple creatures on the lower 3 levels of a 4-level train (I don’t know either). If the enemies reach the top floor of your train, they attack your core directly and eventually defeat you. This adds a strong spatial planning element - now you’re thinking about which combatants you want on each floor, and in what order.

The other notable difference between the games is that while Slay the Spire has four heroes, each with their own unique pool of cards, Monster Train has five factions. It’s one better. The first three factions feel pretty standard from a creativity point of view - red/green/blue are fire/nature/ice. The last two factions you unlock feel wholly unique though: there’s a faction that summons weak, cheap units and feeds on them for combat bonuses, and one that is made of candle beings who are powerful, but melt away. Okay, the real reason is that each time you play, you’re choosing a main faction (each has 2 champions to use from) and a secondary faction (you don’t get their champion, but you get access to their pool of cards). This makes each run feel unique and makes the game feel endlessly replayable. Even after unlocking all of the factions and their cards, and winning a run on the hardest challenge setting with each faction, I’m still playing Monster Train.

3. Spiritfarer

If Kentucky Route Zero is my “It’s Not You, It’s Me” game this year, Spiritfarer might be my “Love at First Sight” game of the year. The game’s striking visuals grabbed my attention immediately when I first saw the trailer at E3 2019, and it was billed as a game about saying goodbye. My only reservation was that it was coming from Thunder Lotus Games, whose previous titles (Jotun and Sundered) both fell flat for me.

Spiritfarer ended up being everything I was hoping for. You play as the newly-appointed ferryperson for the boat that transports souls from the land of the living to the land of the dead. Your ship acts as your base of operations, and you build living quarters, a kitchen, a forge, and lots of other facilities on it. The beings who join you on your ship are anthropomorphized animals, each with their own story. Your job is to help them be at peace, then send them to the next life once they’re ready.

In practical terms, you’re spending a lot of your time sailing from island to island to talk to people and find resources. There’s a plenty of crafting and time sinks in the game, and I appreciated the excuse to luxuriate in this game world. No game made me cry this year, but Spiritfarer (Alice’s story in particular) sure did try. It was the perfect respite for the nightmare that was 2020.

2. Yakuza: Like a Dragon

A lot of Yakuza fans were concerned over this game’s switch from the series’ usual brawling combat to turn-based RPG combat. I was not one of them. Everything about this game sounds like the sort of fan fiction someone like, well, like me would come up with on a late night drunken bender. “What if it was Yakuza, but like, JRPG battles? Why would that happen.....OH oh oh what if the main character was a big fan of DRAGON QUEST so he just, like, saw the world in those terms? You could have party members, and a Pokedex of all the weirdo scumbags you fight, and you could change jobs by going to a temp agency!”

All of that is in Yakuza: Like a Dragon. And I love it. The series’ producer says they decided to pivot to a turn-based combat system after positive reaction to an April Fools Day Yakuza RPG joke they put online. And there are some rough spots. Your party members get caught on the world’s geometry sometimes, and combatants are constantly milling around so AOE abilities feel like a crap shoot. The Yakuza series has always had about 30% too much combat, so translating it into a genre known for grindy gameplay feels like a perfect storm of sorts. Thankfully, I’m a fan of grindy RPG’s so all of this is directly in my wheelhouse.

This eighth game in the Yakuza series is the first with a new protagonist - goodbye Kiryu Kazuma, hello Ichiban Kasuga. Where Kiryu was very stoic, Ichiban is a hothead with the perfect mix of kindness, earnestness, and stupidity for a JRPG hero. He is an incredibly likeable and charismatic character, and I hope Ryu Go Gotoku Studio tightens up the battle system and keeps this iteration of the series running.

1. Hades

Hades seemed like a slam dunk. My favorite studio was making an action RPG based on Greek mythology. The announcement was the best possible version of “AND you can play it right now!” I bought it (in early access) immediately and played it a bit, but I didn’t want to burn out on it so I only briefly checked in on it every few months. As a result, my hype was pretty low when the game reached its 1.0 release.

Once I decided to fully engage with the game though, I was unable to put it down. SuperGiant’s games have the best writing, music, and voice acting in the business. That’s a pretty high bar to aim for, and they hit it once again with Hades. Both of their post-Bastion games (Transistor and Pyre) are games that I have to recommend with an asterisk though; the gameplay parts of each game is an acquired taste and will put some folks off.

Hades, however, I can give a full throated recommendation for. The gameplay is tight and the combat feels good. There’s a lot of variety in the weapons, so you can either find one that fits your style and stick with it, or do what I did and change it up every run. They also managed to achieve something incredible - they largely took the sting out of losing in a run-based game. There are things to unlock between runs as you’d expect from a roguelite. I found myself enjoying chatting with the denizens of hell as much as the moment to moment action gameplay. I’d respawn back home and make my rounds, taking to people and spending my cash. I had a route I’d travel each time, and that route ended with Skelly in the weapons room. Oh, the gauntlets grant a bonus if I use them this time....the door to start a new run is just right over there....okay I can do one more run tonight.

That personality and dialogue is sprinkled throughout the runs themselves too, in the form of the various Greek gods you talk to and get boons from. The variety in weapons and boons give the game tremendous replayability and give the game a deckbuilding feel. Every character in the game is incredibly well developed and well-acted. Zagreus is a likeable and relatable protagonist. He wants to get away from his disapproving father and find his estranged mother, and he and his father can’t see eye to eye.

The story and gameplay in Hades do equal lifting, the game is an incredibly complete package. The game also provided a couple of the most memorable moments of the year. Hades might just be SuperGiant’s best game. It’s certainly their most complete game.

*It’s very much on the lighter side of this gameplay style, akin to 2019′s Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order. Plus there are difficulty settings, which I appreciate.

**Invisible Inc, Dragon’s Dogma, and The Outer Wilds come to mind.

***Final Fantasy VII Remake is only the first installment in a series

****Cloaked in shame and failure.

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britesparc · 4 years ago

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Weekend Top Ten #444

Top Ten PlayStation Games I Hope Get PC Releases

And once again I turn my steely eye to the world of gaming. This time though I’m pulling on my blue jumper and talking about PlayStation (because I guess Xbox would have a green one and Nintendo’s would be red? I dunno, I’m making this up as I go). I’ve said in the past that as much as I like Sony and would love a PlayStation, I’ve never actually owned one myself because I always tend to buy an Xbox first. As much as I love the gaming industry, gaming as a past-time, and games themselves as an art-form, I have a rapidly dwindling supply of free time and unfortunately once I factor in trying to see enough films to maintain polite conversation and staring at my phone for hours on end in order to maximise my ennui, I don’t have an awful lot of minutes left in the day to dive into a wide variety of triple-A titles. As such, because I’m used to the Xbox’s way of working, because I tend to prefer its controllers and its whole ecosystem, and because I love several of their franchises (Halo and Fable especially), it’s always Xbox I gravitate towards, and then I just don’t have enough gaming time left over to justify the expense of a second huge console. And let’s get it out of the way – the PlayStation 5 is huge.

As a result, as time has gone on, there is an ever-growing number of PlayStation exclusives that I’ve barely played. In The Olden Days this was less of a problem, as pre-kids (and, heck, pre-everything considering how old the original PlayStation is at this point) I was able to saunter over to a friend’s house and try out games on their console. In this fashion I sampled a good many PS1 and PS2 titles such as Metal Gear Solid, WipeOut, Resident Evil, Time Splitters, Ico, and my absolute favourite, the original PS2 Transformers game. By the time PS3 rolled around this happened more rarely, but I’d argue it was fairly late in the generation when they showed off any games that really interested me (specifically those from Naughty Dog); and with the PS4, I’ve barely played on one at all, more’s the pity. And I really do mean more’s the pity, because this time around there have been loads of games I wanted; they really have had a better generation than Xbox, even if I couldn’t give up my Halo or Gears, to say nothing of the huge collection of backwards compatible games that get played to death by my kids.

That’s why I’m overjoyed that Sony have finally taken a leaf out of Microsoft’s book and are starting to release some of their bigger games on PC. I’ve been largely laptop-only for about a decade now, but it is a very powerful laptop, even if it’s not dedicated gaming hardware, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised how well it manages to run even quite demanding 3D games such as Assassin’s Creed Odyssey or Gears Tactics (I really must try out Flight Simulator sometime soon). The first big Sony exclusives to drop on Steam are Death Stranding (which looks bonkers but not my cup of tea) and the intriguing Horizon: Zero Dawn, which I’d probably really like. But those were never the Sony games that totally floated my boat; no, there are others, and I would absolutely love it if Sony saw fit to unleash them on Steam in the near future. Hey, I’m not picky; you don’t need to day-and-date it. I don’t mind enjoying a “Part I” whilst PS5 gamers are playing the hot new “Part II”. But I increasingly think be-all-and-end-all exclusives are rather old-fashioned, and whilst I get that there should probably be games tied to specific boxes, the services those box-companies provide should be more universal. That’s why I like Microsoft’s Play Anywhere initiative and the mobile game streaming via xCloud. But this is a Sony list, and these are some very, very good Sony games. I assume. By and large, I haven’t played them.

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2018): I love Rocksteady’s Arkham series of Batman games, but I do find them a bit relentlessly dark and miserable with an oh-so-gritty art style. What could be better, then, than a game that seems to play broadly similar but is nice, bright, funny, and sunny? Spider-Man is the perfect hero for that sort of game, and this looks absolutely like everything I’d ever want from a superhero game. I really, really, hope it comes to PC at some point, but I’ll be honest, I doubt it.

The Last of Us (2013): I like a good third-person action-adventure, whether it’s Gears, Tomb Raider, or Jedi: Fallen Order. TLOU looks most up my street, however, for its story, and its seemingly moving depiction of a family unit forming amidst the end of the world. By all accounts it’s a tear-jerker; I’ve tried to steer clear of the plot. Porting it over to PC whilst the well-received sequel is getting an inevitable PS5 upgrade seems like a good idea.

Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection (2015): I’ve very briefly played one of the Uncharteds, but not really; I hear they’re like the Tomb Raider reboot, but better, which seems nice. A rollicking third-person action-adventure with an Indiana Jones spirit? Count me in. With the long-mooted film adaptation finally underway, COVID notwithstanding, it seems like a good time to let PC gamers have a go at the classic saga. I’d add part 4 to the existing trilogy collection before shunting it to Steam.

Shadow of the Colossus (2018): I’ve played Ico a bit so I’m broadly familiar with the tone of these games, but Colossus seems like an even cooler idea. Scaling moving monsters, killing them but feeling guilty, sounds like both a great gameplay mechanic and a moving and evocative theme for a game. Port the recent remake to PC please, Mr. Sony.

Ratchet and Clank (2016): full disclosure: the new PS5 Ratchet game is the only title I’ve seen demoed that really looks next-gen, with its fancy ray-tracing, excessive particle effects, and funky portal-based gameplay. How’s about, then, giving PC gamers a chance to enjoy the relatively-recent remake of the very first game? A bit of cross-promotion works wonders, Sony.

God of War (2018): the old PS3-era God of War games never really appealed, I guess because I’m not always a huge fan of hack-and-slash and they gave off a kind of crazy excessive, almost laddish vibe that I found off-putting (having not played them, I may be being incredibly unfair). The new one, though, sounds like it’s all about being a dad and being sad and remorseful, so count me in.

Wipeout Omega Collection (2017): I’ve always enjoyed arcade racers, but one sub-genre that I don’t think gets enough love is a futuristic racer, especially where you’ve got hover cars (they seemed to be quite popular twenty-odd years ago). I played the original Wipeout on my mate’s OG PlayStation, but I’d love it if us PC gamers could play the whole series. Could it possibly be even better than Star Wars Episode I Racer?

LittleBigPlanet 3 (2014): chances are, if I’d done this list back around the time the first two LittleBigPlanet games were released, they’d have topped the chart. They looked like cool, fun platform games, with a fantastic creative aspect; I bet my kids would love them. With that in mind, I’d be over the moon to see Sackboy take a bow on Steam. I’d have put Dreams on this list, incidentally, except I can’t see myself getting a VR set anytime soon.

The Last Guardian (2016): feels a bit of a cheat having both this and Colossus on the list, but I do want to see what the fuss is about. One of those games infamous for its time in development, it seems to be a love-it-or-hate-it affair, and I am intrigued. Plus I want to know who dies at the end, the boy or the monster.

Killzone Shadow Fall (2013): gaming cliché has it that Nintendo does cutesy platformers, Microsoft does shooters, and Sony does third-person action-adventures; so whilst I’m well-versed in Halo and Gears, I’ve never sampled PlayStation’s key FPS franchise. Famous for its genuinely wowing showcase when the PS4 was announced, I’m not sure how good Shadow Fall actually is (or any of its predecessors for that matter) but I’d be very interested in finding out. Alternatively, give us one of the Resistance games and let me tear around an alternative Manchester or something.

So, there we are; ten games that I think are probably quite good – or even, y’know, masterpieces – but I’ve not had the chance to really sample them yet. And short of me picking up a PlayStation on the cheap, I don’t know when I really can. I mean, I told myself I’d buy a second-hand PS3 and a copy of TLOU once this current generation was in full swing, but that never happened. So throw me a bone, Sony! I still want to buy your stuff! Just sell it somewhere else! Somewhere I already am! Like Steam! Please?!

#top ten #games #gaming #sony #playstation #playstation 4 #playstation 5 #ps5

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searching-for-mercury · 7 years ago

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Voltron -- Klance -- Fake BF

All I Want for Christmas is a (Fake) Boyfriend

Summary: A while ago, in a fit of anger, Keith told his mom he had a boyfriend. Did he actually have a boyfriend? No. Did he care? Also no. At least, not until his mom, months later, tells him to bring his supposed boyfriend over for the holidays. Not wanting to admit he didn’t have one, Keith asks around for someone to play the role and who agrees to play the part? The annoying guy from his Lit class.

(ao3)

Chapter 5

Hanging out on his sofa doing nothing of any great importance wasn't Keith's idea of time well spent. Whenever someone asked, he'd take their shift at the Call Center. It wasn't a job he loved, but it was a job and work meant money. It also meant time he wasn't thinking about stupid things he didn't want to think about anymore.

He didn't consider himself a coward when it came to confrontation in heated situations, like calling someone out on their bullshit. He spoke up when he had to or when it felt necessary. Heck, he even spoke up when his anger took the wheel.

What he didn't want to do, however, was pursue something he didn't know the outcome of.

Did he really even like Lance? Or was it something casual, void of any deeper feelings? Had he just been pulled along during the holidays? Gone with the natural romantic flow of things. And did he really want to put any effort in something he was so unsure of?

All those feelings followed him when school started and then the first Wednesday of the semester arrived, along with the source of all those thoughts creating a slushie of confusion in Keith's mind.

He slid into the booth at Taco Bell with a couple burritos and a head full of worry.

Lance slid in on the other side with a bunch of tacos, burritos, a drink, and his energetic personality. If Keith was any other person, he'd have said the cheer emitting from him was contagious.

"This is amazing," Lance said and fished out his phone from his large, brown jacket. Snow was still piled up outside from a full weekend of just that, but the roads and sidewalks had been cleared.

"You're taking a picture," Keith said. "Of Taco Bell."

"It's okay, you don't need to understand," Lance said, angling his phone a little different. It made a little shutter noise every time he took a picture. "Just let me enjoy this."

He definitely had an Instagram. There was no way he didn't. And Keith would bet real money on Lance uploading his weird Taco Bell pictures with filters slapped on, like he'd just gone to a fancy restaurant and was marveling at what had been delivered to the table.

When Lance looked up at him, Keith felt himself almost jump at the sudden eye contact; he'd been staring.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Lance asked.

"Could say the same to you," Keith replied, but he started to unwrap one of his burritos. He focused on the window as he bit into it. Winter meant shorter periods of daylight, so even though it was only five in the afternoon, the sun had already disappeared and everything outside was settled in a monochromatic sort of glow.

"How's the semester been for you?" Lance asked after swallowing the biggest mouthful Keith had ever seen anyone take in his entire existence on planet Earth. "Taking anymore literature classes?"

"No, it's just some biology and math," Keith replied. "Been pretty normal. You?"

Lance rolled his eyes. Keith hadn't noticed how dark of a blue they were until right that moment and he wished he still hadn't. "What do you mean, normal? Normal could mean anything," he said.

Keith shrugged. "Going over the syllabus, being gradually introduced to the various topics, getting homework due later this week. Normal."

Lance nodded and took a long drink from his cup. "Same here. But oh man, wait until I tell you what kind of teacher I have for my oceanography class. Total nut. Came to class wearing full on scuba gear and showed us pictures of his adventures during break. He seems like an okay guy, but not the kind you'd know on a personal level. Just like, oh yeah I know him. We talk. He comes to parties sometimes but do we hang? Nah."

Keith just nodded like he knew exactly what Lance meant.

"He seems kind of unpredictable, but I'm hoping his grading is consistent," Lance continued. "Or maybe he knows he's totally bonkers so he lets his TA grade stuff."

"If only more teachers did that," Keith said and grabbed his soda, wishing it were maybe something a little stronger than Pepsi. Just maybe.

When he returned to his quiet apartment, the first thing he did was find his calendar. Had they agreed to every Wednesday? They had. They most definitely had. And there were so many of them. Wow. He was seriously kicking his past self in the ass.

The next Wednesday came with a flurry of new snow and new conversation topics.

"We are going to talk after I finish this," Lance said, mouth full of what was probably fake beef and suspicious lettuce. The lighting overhead threw shadows on his face whenever he dipped down to take another bite. It also made his hair and skin look almost the same shade of brown.

"Did you not eat lunch?" Keith asked.

Lance only shook his head -- his cheeks were too full.

As the weeks tumbled on by, their conversations got steadily less awkward, for which Keith was thankful. Thrilling discussions about weather, traffic, and class faded away with more personal things taking their place. Keith learned Lance's family came from Cuba, for instance, a couple generations ago. He didn't talk much about them and when he did, it was always about the past.

And then one day, Keith must have asked the right questions and Lance must have been in the right kind of mood, because he told him something that felt entirely unlike him.

"I don't actually know my parents," Lance said with a shrug. He picked at the paper wrapper from his meal. "They, uh, died. When I was small."

Keith stopped eating.

"My grandma took care of me for a short while, I guess, but it wasn't enough," Lance said. His voice was soft and low and Keith couldn't see his eyes for they were turned down, towards his food.

It was such a quiet sort of shift, but Keith wasn't sure he was supposed to be hearing what Lance was telling him. More importantly, it didn't feel right to have it there in a Taco Bell, under cheap florescent lighting with pop music playing quietly in the background. There weren't many people in the booths around them, but there never were.

It took Keith a moment longer than he felt was right and he wasn't sure if what he was about to ask was right either, but he said, "Enough for what?" His tone was careful, gentle maybe. He hoped.

Lance cleared his throat and pushed himself up; Keith hadn't even noticed how he'd sort of curled up into himself, sunk down into the plastic seat. "Wasn't enough to take care of me," he said. "Services came, picked me up." Lance was looking straight at him, then, and Keith felt like his breath had been taken away, too.

Foster care. Lance had been through the foster care system. Keith didn't know much about it, but he'd heard horror stories, about abuse and the shuffling from one home to another. Maybe he flinched or maybe his eyes conveyed an understanding, somewhat, but Lance smiled at him. It wasn't a very bright smile, not all full of warm feelings that would seep out and into others, but it also wasn't bitter.

"Don't feel sorry, or whatever, I didn't tell you to get sympathy," Lance said with a firm voice. There was a lot more strength in it than before, when it was full of faraway recollections. "I just felt like you should probably know. I mean, I know so much about you now."

Keith shrugged before he thought things over too much. "I don't really know what to say," Keith said. He had a habit of plowing into sensitive topics like a dog running through piles of snow for the first time. "I mean, are you okay with talking about it? Can I ask questions? Because if not, that's cool. Just say the word and I won't ask a thing. But if you -- why are you laughing?"

It had started with his shoulders shaking and his mouth twisting up and then back down in an effort to not laugh, but then it bubbled up and out and Keith was left feeling more confused than he wanted, truth be told.

"Sorry, it's just. You're taking this very seriously," Lance said between near-silent bouts of laughter. "And it's serious! It is. But. I don't know, it's really funny right now." He leaned forward until his forehead touched the table. His shoulder still shook.

Keith frowned at first. "I don't understand you," he said. "I really don't."

It only made Lance laugh harder.

And then Keith felt his own mouth start to turn and even though he had absolutely no reason as to why, he started to laugh as well. Maybe the why didn't really matter.

In the midst of all that laughter came a sudden realization: Keith's wavering crush became a very solid 'like,' and it hit him in the chest much harder than he thought possible. Whereas before his feelings of attachment had been drifting around, like a loose balloon low on helium, somewhere it had become tethered to the ground and in need of some serious re-evaluation.

"Okay," Lance said, breathing a little heavier. "I don't, just so you know, I don't usually laugh when I tell people unhappy things."

This only made Keith look at him more confused, which made Lance laugh a little more.

"I'm serious! It just felt too heavy, man. And I dunno, I feel pretty comfortable around you," Lance said, giving a one-shoulder shrug.

Keith felt way more happy than he felt he should have, in that moment. A spark of glee. Warmth filling his chest. A small pang of uncertainty. He didn't know what to say or how to react to those feelings. If he spoke, would he blurt out something he'd regret?

He walked away from that exchange with a heavy feeling in his stomach that wasn't due to three burritos and a medium-sized Mountain Dew. What was he supposed to do? Tell him that he liked him? How does one even do that? And wouldn't it be weird, after everything that happened at his mom's house?

Keith didn't have an answer to any of those questions. He flopped down on his couch and stared at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. He kind of wished it did, that it were that easy.

And then something occurred to him: did he really have to say anything? He was kind of a pro at pining in secret. He'd had a crush on Shiro for years and never said anything ever and he'd gotten over him! For the most part. Where there once had been a strong sort of longing there was now just an ache. And he could deal with the ache.

Yes, he was going to do what he did best: not saying a goddamn thing.

~*~

School picked up real fast, as did work, and Keith was left wondering where all those weeks had gone. It was getting dangerously close to midterms and he felt like the semester had just begun. How dare the midterms sneak up on him like that.

There was still snow everywhere -- in fact, it usually stayed up until April, which probably had to do with them being so close to the mountains. Once in a while, they'd get a freak blizzard in May and it was all anyone would talk about. May was also the end of the semester and, ultimately, his dates with Lance.

They weren't dates. They were just casual meet-ups in Taco Bell where Keith paid. Yes. Right.

Keith shook his head. Not exactly where he wanted his mind to be. Instead, he focused on the squat, brown buildings around him. Campus usually looked much nicer in the summer. Everything would burst out blooming and there'd be so much more color in everything, not only the plants. Even the people would glow, wearing their brightly colored shorts and tank-tops, big plastic sunglasses. He bet Lance would outshine everyone, his face radiating warmth, exposing more of that smooth brown skin to soak up all that sun and --

Goddammit.

He tried focusing on the buildings again. He just needed to focus on the horizon, on the building he needed to get to. Then he would sit in class, where his mind couldn't wander as much, and he'd be fine. Really.

But then Keith saw him a little ways away and his heart stuttered.

Lance hadn't noticed him -- he wasn't turned his way. He was smiling or laughing at something someone had said, maybe one of the girls, and they were all walking like they had nowhere else to be at that moment. Keith often got mad at groups like that because they created a jam -- like when those commercials on the TV showed cholesterol build-up in the body. Just because they didn't have to be in class didn't mean others didn't.

Keith took an immediate right turn, even so he was nowhere near the building he had to get to. The action didn't even require any kind of thought process, it was like his body knew exactly what to do. He felt stupid immediately after -- why did he need to take a longer route to his class just because he saw Lance?

It didn't make any sense.

It also made him feel weird the next time they ate Taco Bell together. Had Lance noticed him running away? Was that was he was calling it now?

"Hey, just a heads up," Lance said. They were close to finishing their meal and Lance was pretty much just picking at the remains. "I won't be able to come next week."

Keith stopped chewing.

"I promised one of my friends I would go to an art exhibit. One of her pieces is in there," Lance continued. "I don't know if she's got an award or anything, but she asked me a while ago and wasn't sure of the date when she did."

Keith nodded. Yeah, of course. He cleared his throat, realizing he hadn't actually said it out loud. "Sure," he said. "I mean, it's you who will be missing out."

"I know," Lance said and Keith could almost see hearts in his eyes with the way he looked at the menu above the counter.

Lance's friend -- who he kept calling Plax, though Keith wasn't sure if it was her real name or just an affectionate nickname -- had always invited him to her art exhibits ever since they became friends. In return, he would bring her to movies in Spanish hosted by the school every month.

"They've got subtitles," Lance assured him, as if that's what Keith was really worried about.

~*~

Keith didn't know what to do. He usually did, or it came to him along the way and he didn't often need to think so damn much. The not knowing was what was really getting to him, the not knowing how to proceed, to make his brain just turn off maybe, for a moment, so he could just relax into a feeling of who cares.

He'd gotten over a crush before, he could do it again. Except Lance was everywhere, even when he wasn't. His name popped up in conversations, stupid things reminded Keith of him (seriously? The color blue?) -- he even surprised him once on campus.

Despite what movies portrayed, libraries were not actually quiet. No stern older woman glared at people through her cat-eye glasses or shushed them when things became a little rowdy. People collaborated on projects in the library, they studied together at tables and tested each other on terms. It was exactly for this reason why Keith was wearing headphones. How else was he supposed to concentrate?

He'd managed to work out the chapter he needed to read in order to complete his homework and had just started said homework when someone grabbed him by the shoulders and he shot up in the air.

Lance was laughing as Keith yanked his headphones out.

"What the hell?!" Keith snapped.

He was still laughing. The nerve.

"Seriously!"

And then Lance, who was still struggling with a case of the giggles, plopped down in the seat next to him. "You should have seen yourself," he said. "You jumped like, a foot."

Keith would have sworn that the urge to smile wasn't because whenever Lance did, it was always kind of like the feeling one got after watching a fantastic movie where a rag-tag group of people came together to form a sort of makeshift family in the end. But no, it wasn't because of that. It was because it was a funny thing, right? Him springing in the air. And irritating. He hated when people snuck up on him.

"What're you doing?" Lance asked, nodding to the book. An amused smile still tugged at his lips.

"Homework," Keith replied. "For a biology class."

"Interesting," Lance said, but he said it in a funny voice and then pulled the book closer to him.

"Kind of," Keith replied. "Mostly boring, though. Dry writing."

Lance lit up like he'd seen a puppy. "Yeah!" he said. "The actual content is pretty cool, usually, but the way they describe it! So boring! I wish they could make it sound more, I dunno--" He gestured with his hands.

"Like a book," Keith said and then realized just what he'd said. "I mean, like a novel. Something you read for fun."

"Yeah! If it were written in a style that was a little more casual, I think everyone would understand this stuff better," he said. "Maybe then the scientific community would boom and we'd finally get our flying cars."

"Flying cars."

"Haven't you ever seen The Jetsons? Flying cars. I want to live in space, like they do," Lance said and grinned. "Don't you?"

Keith shrugged. He could have made an argument about how that might clutter the sky or maybe corporations would want to stake claims to space, divvying it up like they did land, but he didn't have the heart. There was an ache in his chest, sort of like when he caught a cold sometimes and every time he coughed, it hurt.

Lance nudged him a little, as if to say "Hey, what's up?" with an expression so soft, it just made everything worse.

Keith didn't remember what he'd said or how the conversation flowed after that, but eventually Lance left him to do his homework in relative peace. Had to go meet up with some friends. He was always doing that, meeting with friends and having plans. Lance was the most social person Keith knew, after Hunk. It was admirable, really, even so Keith knew he would have hated to have so many acquaintances to keep track of.

It was when he was with Hunk that he did something incredibly stupid.

After class, he spotted Hunk strolling towards the parking lot so he jogged a little to catch up.

"You finished for today?" Keith asked.

"Yeah, you?" Hunk replied.

Keith nodded. "But I've got work in a couple hours."

"Ha! I've got off," Hunk teased, hitting him gently in the shoulder. "But I'm gonna meet up with Shay later tonight."

They'd reached the parking lot. Hunk owned a mustard-colored Jeep Renegade. It used to be a Wrangler, because he liked going camping a lot with friends, but he'd traded it in after finding out it was prone to roll in accidents.

Keith immediately started looking for it. "Got a big date?" he asked, trying to push the teasing attitude back at him.

"Yeah," Hunk said and he stopped walking. "I mean no, I don't know."

An idea floated around in Keith's head, taking root as suspicion. "Hey, are you going to..." It wasn't even him and the words felt embarrassing.

"Maybe?" Hunk said, looking up with panic and worry painted all over his face. "Should I? I thought about it for a while and my parents have already been teasing me about it."

Keith shrugged. He was literally the last person anyone should ever ask about relationship advice.

"I've got a ring."

"What."

Hunk looked a little sheepish and glanced around. "Not here, I haven't picked it up yet. It's still at the store. But I was planning on heading over there before picking her up," he said.

Keith's heart was pounding and he had no idea how to respond. Did he offer congratulations? But he hadn't yet popped the question and neither had Shay given her answer yet. She would, though. She would most definitely say yes. There was no way she wouldn't, they were both so very much in love and had been for years.

"Do you want to come with me?" Hunk asked. "To pick it up."

The nod Keith gave was all that he felt he could really give at the moment. Marriage. And there'd be a great big wedding because that was Hunk's family -- they did everything big and heartfelt. A glowy, fuzzy, warm happiness.

The trip didn't take very long and they each took their own cars, on account of Keith having work and Hunk having his obvious plans, but Keith was still jittery with nerves. He was too young to have married friends. Sure, it had been several years since high school, but it didn't feel like it.

And the ring was, well, a ring. It looked expensive, but he didn't ask how much it had been. Hunk hadn't picked the traditional diamond. Instead, there was a yellow sapphire in the middle, with green jasper chips dotted along the sides. It matched a necklace Shay wore, Hunk had told him. She'd gotten it from her grandmother and, well, there was a whole story behind it that Hunk didn't really want to get into.

"And it's black silver because," Hunk shrugged, "it's cool looking, I guess. And if she says yes, then I'll get a wedding band in the same silver."

It took a moment for Keith to respond. "She'll say yes," he said. He was sure of it.

Hunk looked giddy for one moment, worried the next. He stared down at the ring for a moment, thumb swiping over the sapphire. "I sure hope so," he murmured.

With the ring secured in a little bag Hunk had asked the sales woman to staple shut -- he didn't want it falling out on accident and had listed off several circumstances where it could all go terribly, terribly wrong -- they walked out of the store in silence. It felt heavy, significant. Something life-changing was going to take place.

Their cars weren't very far away, but it felt like an eternity before they reached them. Keith's eyes wandered up out of habit, to scan the area, and then back down to his car door. Then up again. Even when he was in the most unlikely of places, Lance was there. Sure, he was across the street, walking out of a candy store, but he was there.

Keith immediately grabbed onto Hunk's jacket and tugged him down with him. There was no thinking, just grab, pull, and drop.

As he sat there, heart pounding, his reasoning caught up with him. Had Lance seen that? He sure hoped not. What could he give as an answer? That he wanted to avoid talking to him because whenever he did, his chest felt tight and he was overcome with a crushing wave of hopelessness? No, because that was dramatic and he swore he wasn't.

"Uh," said Hunk, who was still crouched next to him on the pavement. "I feel like I should comment on this. So I'm commenting. What are we doing, Keith?"

#klance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #voltron #vld #hunk garrett #he features in this one lots #sorry if this one reads kinda wonky #ive been super stressed about stuff lately #and writing hasn't been easy #but the next one should go better!#it's also prob gonna be the last :)#i gave lance my weird laughing at serious situations #so im sorry if that also feels weird -- keith doesnt get it either #anyways #i hope you like it :)#at least like the direction it's going in

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xaeneron · 7 years ago

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On Path of Fire

I haven’t done one of these in a while (or rather I wrote them and then forgot to post them lel), so maybe I’ll actually post this one for the new GW2 expansion after spending the week running around.

Overall, I found the expansion to be pretty solid; the maps are beautiful, the mounts are hilarious and well-implemented, the story was interesting and decently paced, and I’m still experimenting with the new elite specs. Massive spoilers below the cut!

Questions on anything I wrote, thoughts of your own? Feel free to boop me; I know I wrote a lot.

But really, don’t say I didn’t warn you. There are a LOT of bullet points beneath that cut. xD

On the maps

Obligatory: they are huge. It’s fitting since they were designed against HoT’s verticality and more geared towards the use of mounts, so it’s more of an observation, less of a complaint. There’s a lot of detail and a lot of little things here and there, and it’s incredibly fun to see what you can get away with using mounts to get around the terrain.

That being said I do miss the verticality of HoT maps. Maybe a combination of both pls? :3

I kind of wish there were more large obvious meta events, but I haven’t gotten to see all of the sort of meta events that go on in the PoF zones. I do think the large metas add replay value, but again a balance is a good thing.

We spur-of-the-moment yolo’ed the Ruptured Heart meta with 11 people. It was actually pretty fun. Also so many cannonades ;-;

Hearts feel like they take just a little bit too long. Some of them are amusing, but when trekking through zones doing map comp (or redoing hearts to get collection items) they drag on a bit. Guild chatter about hearts was fantastic though:

“These nobles are useless. What should I do with the chamber pot, throw it off the side or throw it at one of them?”

“I’m throwing flowers at people and making them happy?”

“Matchmaker heart best heart.”

Bounties are hilariously fun? Sometimes you get unfortunate bullshit combinations of modifiers (anti-stacking fleas + pls stack in the bubble to actually be able to hit the boss mob, I’m looking at you), but overall they’re quite fun. We spent a good few hours trekking through all five zones murdering things and getting murdered.

These actually look super promising for replayability; our goal/challenge as a group has always been to optimize and work together, so it should be fun to go track down bounties and see what kind of dumb shenanigans we can get up to.

I actually find these really fun in small groups of 5-10. Zergs sound...unfun. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The caffeinated skritt is...kind of annoying. Mostly because it doesn’t operate like the treasure mushroom in HoT and you have to be on the class you want the collection item on, and the maps are so large someone could trigger a chest and no one would be the wiser.

A tip though for people wanting to complete multiple collections: you only need to loot the last bag it drops. If you’re wandering around with friends and they’re nice enough to chill at the bag, you can reload with other characters and grab the bag again for another collection item (until it despawns). I have no idea if this was intended, but I burned a few TP to friends on this for the lulz.

I had a lot of GW1 feels running through these maps, especially going down to the Desolation and Vabbi. I appreciate that these places still exist but have changed with the years, and it’s nice to see what happened.

Although Vabbi is one weird-ass place now.

BUUUUUUT Zomoros’ lair was hilarious.

I haven’t explored for the sake of exploring in a very long time and it was really, really nice.

CHOYA PINATA.

On the elite specializations

I haven’t actually gotten to try all of them yet, but I’m also not super enthused about all of them (Spellbreaker, I’m looking at you). Also a gentle reminder that my opinions are mainly based on my background as a PvE player and moreso as a raider. Also they’re just initial opinions. Opinions change.

I started with thief (duh), and proceeded to do the entire story with Daredevil. I’m not particularly a fan of Deadeye; I appreciate the archetype but I don’t really see rifle having a place with a game designed more around active response in combat. Also as someone who still can’t shake the seaweed salad dance, rifle just feels really static and dull to me. But we’ll see. Maybe I’ll have to make the Predator hue. D/D Deadeye also felt strange, so idk. But we’ll keep fiddling with it.

Mirage still feels kind of odd but I need to get poor Naois the spec since he’s actually specced for condi, unlike Eet. It seems like an upgrade to condi mesmer, and the triple blink is hilarious.

I really hope Scourge ends up with some sort of place. Initial benchmarks look hilarious (but then, so did Soulbeast/Weaver/Firebrand ones), but I took out Richter again for Scourge and I’m actually really happy to play him again. It’s been so long ;-;

My brother told me, “do yourself a favor and put down a sand shade near some enemies, then press F4.” I tried it. I laughed pretty hard.

Weaver is so much button-pressing but it’s really fun? I’m still getting the hang of it but I do like it a lot. At least it’s more challenging than condi tempest. *grumbles eternally*

Soulbeast looks promising, although I hope it doesn’t lead to another “let’s use condi ranger/thief on absolutely everything” situation again. The new pets are also...interesting.

Although when it comes to ranger I’m a druid at heart, so we’ll see. Not that I’m usually conscripted for DPS roles anyway

Firebrand looks silly. And broken. I’m all for alternative sources of quickness (and alacrity in the case of other specs), but I don’t really want to see raid meta go to 2x PS 2x druid 2x chrono 2x firebrand (or something like that) with only 2 flex spots. That doesn’t sound fun at all.

Also I’m guessing Firebrand will be the first to get the nerfbat. The damage numbers people are getting are bonkers.

And hey look, they got the nerfbat. Down to 33-35k. At least that’s better than 50k? Ugh.

Renegade feels pretty decent. Revenant has always been in a weird “built around elite specs” class, and that hasn’t changed. I’m not sure how I feel about condi rev being more of a thing and less of a meme, but ayyy

Holosmith seems like it would be a lot more relevant if the transform wasn’t currently borked. Scaling damage to a level 76 fine weapon is...sad. If it’s fixed power Holosmith could be something legit? Maybe? Overall though I like the theme and look of it. Also lol lightsaber.

Spellbreaker I...idk. Thematically I like it a lot; I was a big fan of mesmer and shut down mechanics in GW1 and I like the idea of Spellbreaker, but from a mostly PvE perspective, it’s just kind of...eh? WvW and PvP I see it being incredibly useful but with limited boons to nom in PvE it doesn’t really look particularly great (especially with condi berserker getting tuned through the roof).

On mounts

I keep dyeing them funny colors. Yes Quill’s are all some shade of yellow.

I honestly think they were well done. I was never a supporter of adding them to the game (not against, but not for them either), but now that they’re here, I’m pretty okay with them.

I like that each mount is useful in some specific capacity - raptor for flat open stretches, springer for verticality, skimmer for no touchy floor, jackal for portals and evasion through high mob density areas, and griffon for the absolute lulz of flying.

I keep getting the “mount doesn’t render so your character model is riding away sunk in the ground while your camera remains in place” bug (I think it’s attached to trying to mount up before things are completely loaded), and while it’s funny, it’s kind of frustrating.

Mount swapping is a bit awkward, although binding each mount to its own key helps a lot.

I appreciate that the starting mount (the raptor) is still relevant even when you pick up the other three (four), as it’s definitely the fastest mount on flat ground and it’s improved leap is hilariously long.

Also it’s a giant scaly puppy so I have no problems with this.

The springer is hilarious. And super terrain-breaking. High cliff? No problem, bunny hop. Core and HoT map comp probably just got much, much simpler. Also JPs that don’t have mount restrictions.

The skimmer is adorable, and riding it around is strangely...calming? idk. Also as one of my guildies put it: “maybe this is Anet’s answer to underwater combat: glide right over it.” rip.

Of the four core mounts I think the jackal (blink doge) is my favorite. It has a gorgeous design and the blink/portals are super cool. Although the blink can get a bit titchy if you’re trigger happy with the jump button.

Of course I have the griffon.

IT’S SO FLUFFY.

I think it handles a little strangely (esp when you can’t dismount quickly, although you can divebomb), but it’s pretty solid. And adorable.

250g was entirely worth it.

Also that Tahlkora cameo hit me right in the feels.

On the story

I’d get here eventually! Eventually...;-;

All salad-shaped biases aside, the male sylvari VO is still my favorite and no one can convince me otherwise. There was a good amount of sass, seriousness, and everything inbetween. Ive is one to take everything with a “hahahaha you’re kidding what am I doing here help,” so overall the voice acting and dialogue fit him fairly well.

I’m a little disappointed by the lack of race-specific dialogue. Humans don’t seem to have any special dialogue with or concerning Balthazar, and everyone else doesn’t really have a chance to comment as an outsider. I know it’s more work and I still enjoyed the story as is, but it would have been a nice touch.

Like Ive would literally not give a shit about half of the things brought up. Not because he doesn’t care about others, but because he has no clue what anyone is talking about.

This was particularly funny with Joko in the Domain of the Lost, because his whole tirade about the PC not knowing who he is could quickly be shut down with “I’m a salad, I have no idea who the fuck you are.”

The “decisions” were interesting, although unsurprisingly they had very little impact on the game as a whole (maybe in the future? Doubt it). I did appreciate that depending on the order the “decide on Amnoon’s independence” steps are done in, the dialogue changes.

I admit that I’ve gotten a little less partial to Taimi as she’s edged closer to Deus Ex Machina territory, but her dialogue and conversations (both with the PC and with others like Phlunt later on) are quite funny.

I wish there were more Vlast/Gleam before he died. It’s sad that he showed up and just...died, but I can understand why they chose that path as well.

Although some of that was my own fault; the chapter with the Exalted and Vlast’s upbringing I got supremely distracted by the jumping puzzle and spinning around on my new skimmer.

Still. More Vlast!

RYTLOCK. RYTLOCK WHY. Nice job breaking it hero. Surely you would know better than to accept help in the Mists from a random shackled man who CONVENIENTLY knows how to relight your magic sword. Sigh.

I thought a lot about the Herald of Balthazar after finding the notes in Night of Fires. I went back to it after talking to my brother and came to a very similar conclusion as a theorizer on the GW2 subreddit. If that theory is true, that makes me very sad.

Pls say it’s true I like gut-punch feels.

Speaking of gut-punch feels, The Departing was amazing. It was super disorienting not having access to the inventory or the minimap, but it was a very well-done instance and I enjoyed it immensely. I appreciated that they stuck to the “you lost your name and purpose” thing to the point of replacing your character name (including in the hero panel) with Lost Spirit.

Balthazar murdering the PC was pretty neat.

Also Aurene showing up exactly on time was both cliche and NO BALTHAZAR BAD STAY AWAY FROM BABY DRAGON.

This, like a few other story missions later on, is super awkward to do as a group. It’s supposed to be rather personal, and so the not-instance owners are reduced to buffing wisps (like later on in the thrall party instance, not-instance owners are just awakened thralls), and idk I was lucky I was instance owner but that seems rather :|

Ive had a lot of feels hearing everyone’s voices again. Also the feels of him not exactly remembering everything and having to follow his purpose through his own memories and not quite remembering everything. Including Trahearne.

Also tfw the story mission is essentially Full Circle (as a sub-section of Closure) with a bit of bonus Balthazar.

Joko is being very obviously set up as a “you left me in a cage I swear vengeance rahhhhhh” villain. Or Anet is going to pull a fast one and he will never show up again, which would be hilarious.

Bonus feels for everyone else surviving and Ive being the only one dead (think Eet).

Backtracking slightly, I’ve never liked Kormir. I still don’t like Kormir. And the human gods are miserably terrible people. At this point there’s not much questioning as to whether or not they exist, but with the extent of their influence, their decision to just kind of peace is...rather appropriately god-like, for better or for worse.

Seriously though, gods pls. I can see some of the logic of “world will be destroyed anyway if god attempts to fight god,” but surely there are other things that need be maintained.

Also I like how Kormir notes that Balthazar had been stripped of his powers, and yet he still curbstomps the PC (unless it was entirely the imprisonment in the Mists that just locked his powers away, but Kormir’s dialogue suggests otherwise).

I would kill for a library like that. Seriously. So jelly.

The “let’s disguise ourselves as the Archon and go and convince Palawa Joko’s army to fight for us” part was so incredibly stupid that of course it worked. We spent the entire time laughing at how incredulous it was.

The battle at Kodash Bazaar was actually kind of awesome? There was stuff everywhere and my only inclination for the first part of the instance was “go hit things.”

It was incredibly weird to just have Sohothin for the entire instance. Yes I’m aware I could have dropped it. But it was hilarious in a Caladbolg sort of way. With less idiotic knockback, and more 300s cooldown skills.

AURENE. Balthazar stop hurting my dragon >:(

Also because he just yolo killed her other brother before she had a chance to meet him in person? rip.

Although now that I think about it, how would that meeting even go? Talking to the Exalted indicates that Vlast was isolated and not well-acclimated to the world around him, so by the time they realized he should be interacting with other races it was too late for him to form any empathy for anyone. His dialogue seems to imply that his motivation was simply the fulfillment of a goal; he seemed far more interested in fulfilling his legacy as Glint’s son than the reason why she needed him and Aurene to do anything in particular. He doesn’t really have a reason for what he’s doing, he just does.

Aurene is implied to have an empathic link with Vlast similar to her connection to the PC, but idk, it just seems like any actual meeting between the two of them would just be incredibly awkward.

I very much enjoyed both the penultimate and ultimate fight against Balthazar. Also because if you turned around, you could see Kralkatorrik’s massive face just chilling in the sky because oh shit angry elder dragon. It was...quite something.

I understand the PC’s current caution about killing elder dragons because of magic imbalance, and I also understand the need to stop Balthazar from being a total moron. I also understand that there’s not much you can do to stop a mad god besides killing him (since those with the means to imprison him decided to float on). But uh. I’m not sure what anyone expected would happen if you kill the god who absorbed two dragons’ worth of magic with another dragon just chilling nearby. Surely Kralkatorrik absorbing everything and flying off into the sunset while extending the Brand wasn’t a surprise.

Seriously though what did you think was going to happen.

Baby dragon absorb magik and is not quite so baby anymore. Aurene come back I miss you already ;-;

I commend you if you actually read all of that. xD

Overall, a solid expansion with quite a bit of content. We’ll see how replayable it ends up being as time goes on, but I am still quite amused by it and have plenty to do as it stands. The story was fairly solid (although sometimes strange with questionable logic, as always), and I’m looking forward to where they take it with LWS4.

#guild wars 2 #path of fire #path of fire spoilers #seriously all the spoilers #the artist rambles #a lot #that was really long #and still not all of it but ayyy #bullet points

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iworeheelsforthis · 5 years ago

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The New Rules

I just re-read the chapter topics of the book The Rules before writing this to see if there was crossover and dammit, there is. I remember reading that book about 20 years ago thinking it sounded crazy. How dare I make a man work so hard? How could I expect so much of someone? Welp, lesson learned. I never expected much of any man and here we are. I am tucking my tail between my legs and reverting back to the original rules as words to live by, but here are mine with a twist.

#1: Be the Badass Chick Your Friends Know You Are

We all have our doubts and insecurities. When approaching dating you MUST go into it thinking you are a swan. THE swan. And you must present yourself that way in your online dating profile. Put your best self forward. It's like a cracked out version of your Facebook or Instagram profile but geared toward what men want. And what they want is a girl who is approachable, attractive, has hobbies, travels, doesn't pose with duck face or Snapchat filters and isn't obsessed with selfies. Be the cool chick without trying too hard. Challenging? Yes. Doable? Absolutely.

I recently helped my friend and my mom with their online profiles and it was a full rehaul. They were both approaching their profiles as what they'd want to see. In another woman! But they don't want to date other women so I had to reframe it for them as how to best present themselves to men.

"No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, Liberal, I want to meet someone who is spiritual and self evolved and likes hiking and traveling to moonlit beaches hand in hand" - not the actual profile but basically how I would have read it as a man. No, no, no. This is uptight. You need to come off as approachable. So many No's make a man cringe and run. Let him find out on his own when you meet him what your preferences are. But don't also rule out amazing men who might be willing to compromise before learning what those things are.

Post pictures where you're wearing makeup and look genuinely happy, and are in a cool country you loved exploring on your own, or on top of a mountain you just climbed, sweaty but sexy. Show you but show your best you. And if you don't have enough photos like that make your best friend climb a goddamn mountain with you and take those photos of you. And then filter them tastefully so you look like a glowing, yet realistic goddess.

#2: Be Fun and Happy but Don't Give Too Much Yet

Men like to chase. That is their physiology and we must let them do it. Once I gave into this reality, holy shit, did I get chased. And I felt sexier than ever. You want me? Come and get it. You don't want to try? You were way too weak for me and I'd learn that when it was too late.

I have chased men my entire life. I've tried to prove that I am worthy of their love and time and yes, this totally stems from my childhood which I am fully aware of and have gone for years of therapy/reiki/energy healing/crystal praying/meditation/you get the point.

Once I gave in to the idea of "you don't want this? Ok, boy bye" that's when the men came out of their caves to seek me out. I know this sounds like the beginning of a damn romance novel but no good story started with "and then I chased him for years and finally he relented and now he resents me but we make it work". It never works. Men want to hunt.

So when you are interacting with men online or in real life, be cute and funny and endearing in those early interactions. Give just enough so they come back for more. And then stop. Let them want to know more and let them ask you out. It works every damn time and weeds out the weaklings instantly.

#3: Never Pay on the First Three Dates

I never pay for the first 3 dates. I play a little game in there as a test. And yes, we must test men sometimes.

If a man asks you out, he has asked you as his date to go out with him and that is his treat. I used to offer to split the bill on first dates but never do now. I don't even look when the bill comes and they don't flinch. They automatically pull out their card or often try to sneak paying for it without me noticing. Give it notice and everyone gets uncomfortable, including the waiter.

On the second date I will pretend to reach for my card. Every time since I've done this almost every man has shooed me away, saying it is his treat. BUT here's the trick. IF he follows that up with saying you can get the next one, be wary. For me, I am instantly on high alert. At this point we have maybe kissed but most likely not. If you haven't kissed me yet and want to continue to date me and can assume I am dating other men, you better step up and pay for dates until you realize you want to lock me down. Sorry ladies, I know that sounds ballsy but BE THAT BADASS CHICK and KNOW YOUR WORTH. Yes, you can afford you own damn meal but he asked you out again, you're beautiful and he should assume he is not the only one vying for your attention and if he wants to get anywhere near a 3rd date or your vagina, he’d better pick up that tab without flinching.

You can kiss him on that date if you're feeling it (and sometimes I do because I am a female with needs), but if he has put it in my mind that I am maybe picking up date 3, I have likely already put him in the friend zone (aka I'll never see him again).

If and when Date #3 comes around and so does the check you can in earnest pull out your card and offer to split. Again, if he takes me up on it I'm honestly usually turned off. I will, however, pay for our drinks if we go to a bar after. That is fair and shows that you aren't a princess, but that you also have standards and expectations.

The other day my friend said "You want me to pay and you're putting your penis in my vagina? Gross. Get out of here." And it's true.

I get that it must be CRAZY expensive if you're a guy dating constantly and having to pick up the tab. But if you can't afford it, don't get out there. It's part of the process and maybe only go for coffee dates, dude. Get all hyped up on that caffeine but keep me out of it.

#4: Create Date #1, 2 and 3 Uniforms

This has saved me from hours of questioning what to wear. Instead, I have a uniform for my first 3 dates, much like 6th through 8th grade when I was the non-Catholic Catholic school girl.

Date #1 is a black criss-cross low cut tight, yet classy top, tight dark jeans (I finally got a semi-butt from going to Barre class 4 days/week, thank GOD), brown suede boots and a fuzzy short jacket that every guy says is adorable but in a sexy way. I straighten my hair and keep my makeup fairly simple but a smokier eye with a neutral lip. It has gotten me date #2 every single time. Keep in mind it's winter, so this level of coverage is appropriate.

I have that outfit ready and pressed every day so that I don't have to think twice about what to wear on a first date. It also sort of mentally helps me track which date I was on with whom when I have to retrace my steps with each of them.

Date #2 is a lacy camisole, black leather jacket and tight black jeans with sexy but cute heels (aka no hooker heels). I add some waves to my hair and maybe a darker lip. I receive compliments every time.

Date #3 is a dress. Let him see your legs. Guys like legs. And butts. And boobs. But let him see your legs. It makes you look playful and flirty. Shave said legs. They'll be grabbing them all throughout the date.

#5: Let Him Text You

I used to text and thank guys after dates. No more. Let him thank you and tell you how much fun he had. Sometimes it happens later than night or the next day. And if he never reaches out again, NEXT. You probably weren't that into him anyway and if you thought you were, revert back to Rule #2. Don't chase.

#6: Give Him a 4pm Cut Off Time

If a man has made a plan to take me out a few days in advance, I give him until 4pm the day of that date to send me the details of where we are meeting and when. If you don't hear from him by 4pm the day of the date, move on. Ideal timeframes are the day before up until 1pm the day of. You are not expected to be at his beck and call and if you let him think that you are then it's setting a precedent for the rest of a potential relationship. You are not here to bend over backwards for him to get his shit together and prioritize you. You have things to do. And even if you don't, make him think that you do. Even if that's just bingeing what I call my bitch shows (Real Housewives, Bachelor, Vanderpump Rules, etc). No shame in my bitch show watching game.

I recently had a guy begging to take me out for a week. When I finally gave him my Monday slot, he fucked up. On Monday at 5:30pm he texted asking if I was around. I responded at 7pm saying he should have texted sooner and maybe we could reschedule. He was profusely apologetic and acknowledged his complete lapse. I was nice enough about it so he felt even worse. Since my dance card is now full at least a week out, he has been scrambling to reschedule and I just don't have the time.

They snooze, they lose. And that drives a man completely bonkers.

#7: Go With Your Gut

At the end of the day, go with your gut. How does he make you feel? Are you excited? Does he make you want to get to know him better? Does he make you feel needy (run!)? Does he make you feel special (you are!)? Does he open the door for you (he should!)? Does he knock on your door when he picks you up or does he wait in the car and text "Here!" (dealbreaker for me, personally)? Is he a good kisser (has to be)? Does he tell you you're beautiful (you're the prettiest in all the land!)? Does he tell you he wants to see you again?

LISTEN TO ALL OF THESE THINGS and what is going on in your heart. Sometimes when you're on a date and in the moment it's hard to know how you really feel and it's ok to go home and decipher those feelings first. You don't have to figure it all out then.

I often have to go home after a date and decompress and think how I feel about this person and if I want to see them again. I get on overload between having to be "on" yet authentic yet a good listener and a good storyteller, flirty and sweet combined with confident and sexy. I'm basically living multiple personalities in a 2 hour span. It's just a lot all at once.

Sometimes it's more obvious and I can't want to see them again. But I also wait for them to say that first. Again, let them hunt.

Patty Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker once said something like "YOU are the prize. Never forget that. And if he doesn't get that, move on and find the one who does". I couldn't agree more.

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xb-squaredx · 5 years ago

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Gaming in 2019: A Look Back

2018 was a quieter year for gaming. With new consoles on the horizon, Sony and Microsoft were in a transitional period, and while Nintendo hit the ground running with the Switch in 2017, aside from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate at the end of the year, they seemed to stumble a bit. By stark contrast, 2019 has been absolutely bonkers, with tons of quality titles and bigger announcements littered throughout. With 2019 now at its end and the end of a whole decade upon us, let’s take a look back at the world of gaming over the past year, and take in the highs and lows.

BACK TO BACK HITS

In going over all the releases this year, I was surprised at the sheer number of quality titles spread across 2019. New games release all the time, but 2019 in particular seemed hell-bent on keeping customer wallets empty with release after release. January kicked things off with a bang; Capcom graced us with the remake of Resident Evil 2, a gorgeous, terrifying reimaging of the survival-horror classic and it seems 2020 will follow suit with a remake of Resident Evil 3. Speaking of threes, Kingdom Hearts III released and…while many fans seemed happy with it, the hype surrounding it was nowhere near as high as I had always imagined it would be. Of course, the fact that this is the twelfth installment might have something to do with that. But hey, it finally happened and that counts for something. I suppose the same could also be said for the long-awaited and shadily-funded Shenmue III. It doesn’t seem like it made a huge splash; the general consensus is that while the gaming industry grew in-between the releases of Shenmue II and III the Shenmue series itself largely ignored those advancements. A game that, much like Duke Nukem Forever, would have likely fared better had it released in a timelier manner. All this talk of threes and somehow Half-Life 3 remains in development hell…but at least we’re getting a VR game, right? R-Right?

As the year went on, we saw a lot of high-quality action games like Devil May Cry 5, Astral Chain and Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, and for some reason racing games made a bit of a comeback with Team Sonic Racing and a remake of the Crash Bandicoot racers all in one package. Fighting games in particular had a lot of titles throwing their hats into the ring. From the bloody Mortal Kombat 11 to the titillating Dead or Alive 6¸SNK also introduced a new generation to the Samurai Shodown series with a new installment, and Smash Ultimate slowly unveiled a stellar lineup of new characters as DLC throughout the year. Remakes seemed particularly in-vogue this year, from the previously-mentioned Resident Evil 2, to Final Fantasy VIII, Medievil, and Link’s Awakening. I feel that “games as a service” are starting to decline in popularity, however. With Anthem, Bioware’s last hope, bombing, EA had a bright spot in Apex Legends showing up out of nowhere and momentarily drawing players away from the likes of Fortnite, though Epic’s smash hit remains to be truly toppled. With the monetization of these games still under fire, I think the public is starting to wise up about the often-predatory practices put in place that come at the detriments of the games they’re attached to. While these titles continue to be popular, we’re well past the saturation point, and players have a limit to how many of these games they can fit into their lives. They’re called “forever games” but nothing lasts forever…

There was a steady flow of releases throughout the year, but for whatever reason, September was the month where it seemed everything was coming out, with a few notable titles in late October or November. No real droughts to speak of, really. While Hideo Kojima’s crazy new game, Norman Reedus and his Radical Fetus er…I mean Death Stranding caught a lot of people’s eye, and the Pokémon franchise continued to make bank, some smaller indie titles managed to stand out from the pack. Really unique titles like Hypnospace Outlaw, GRIS and Untitled Goose Game come to mind, as was the unexpected collaboration of Crypt of the Necrodancer and the Legend of Zelda franchise with Cadence of Hyrule. Not to mention a certain slipper-wearing skeleton got into Smash Ultimate as a costume. At this point, indie developers can stand shoulder to shoulder with the bigger dogs in a lot of ways. I mean, when indie-darling Disco Elysium can walk away from The Game Awards with four wins (including beating out Reedus’ Fetus), that shows how far we’ve come as an industry in many ways. Every time I stop to remember some of the more interesting games that came out this year, a lot of them come from smaller developers. Seeing how the bigger companies have embraced indie developers, when they were once shunned, is also pretty great, even if relations aren’t always perfect.

THE BIG THREE (and google)

Focusing on the larger companies for a bit, we’ll start with Microsoft…who were a mixed bag this year. On the one hand, Gears 5 seemed to be alright, and on the other hand, Crackdown 3 came and went without so much as a whimper. Then came the long-awaited reveal of their new console at The Game Awards, of all places. Introduced as the “Xbox Series X,” Microsoft seems set on trying to confuse as many people as possible when it comes to discussing their different consoles. Or maybe they’re rebooting the brand to just be Xbox. Whatever helps them sleep at night.

(Expect confused parents at launch!)

Sony largely got through this year without too many issues. They continue to underwhelm with their “State of Play” direct announcements, but in general they have several upcoming exclusive games to look forward to. Buying Insomniac and securing them as first-party is also a pretty big move on the whole, and they ended the year with Death Stranding finally seeing release. Nintendo, meanwhile, provided a bunch of unique game experiences throughout the year. A unique action game in Astral Chain, ghost-hunting fun in Luigi’s Mansion 3 and they even found a way to make exercise fun with Ring Fit Adventure! With fairly solid Directs throughout the year, they’re a lot more consistent in quality and general hype this year in comparison to last, when it seems like all hopes were riding on Smash, which has gone on to be the best-selling fighting game ever, by the way…

I suppose I should pay lip service to Google’s own attempts to break into the gaming scene with their release of the Stadia, a streaming platform that they swear is the future of gaming. It’s billed as a “work-in-progress,” and initial reaction to it seems mixed. Some find delay so bad that games can be unplayable, and there’s been several shenanigans at launch, but maybe by this time next year all the kinks will be worked out and it’ll be hunky dory! Or maybe Google will abandon it like so many other products. I’d be surprised if it’s still relevant by this time next year.

DELAYS, DOWNERS AND DEXIT

2019 had its highs, but a fair share of lows too. Delays seemed to also be common this year. Right as 2019 was starting, Nintendo had a fairly transparent announcement that the long-awaited Metroid Prime 4 was restarting development from scratch. Animal Crossing: New Horizons and DOOM: Eternal also ended up delayed into March of next year, though interestingly enough fans seem to take such announcements much better than in years past. Reactions to delays are often one of disappointment, but understanding, especially if it’s all for the game’s benefit. It’s perhaps for this reason that the DLC roadmap for Mortal Kombat 11 saw a massive delay in character release from the usual schedule, following reports of crunch at Netherrealm Studios. After 2018 shone a light on the often hazardous work environments of game development, it does seem that delays are being used as a way to take some pressure off of developers. It’s too early to say that things are genuinely improving across the board, but it’s a start at least. Not all stories have happy endings though, and the continued fate of Telltale Games remains in a strange limbo. With Telltale Games bought by LCG Entertainment, it appears at least SOME of the former employees have a new home and even a few of their games can live on, however at present it’s not quite known if things are going to be any better for the employees there, so let’s cross out fingers. As 2019 neared its end, it’s also unfortunate that Alpha Dream closed its doors, after years of producing some well-regard RPGS starring everyone’s favorite plumber. The industry can be pretty volatile, even when you often work with the bigger dogs.

For me personally though, the biggest downer this year was the fallout surrounding the Pokémon fandom. Following an announcement that the newest games in the series, Sword and Shield, wouldn’t be compatible with all of the veteran Pokémon, the fandom seemed to split in half, one side overly critical of the games and their apparent declining quality, while the other side seemed overly defensive, casting aside legitimate concerns. It got really ugly, and even though I enjoyed Sword and Shield for what they were, the discourse left a sour taste in my mouth. 2018 made a big show of how rough some game development studios have it, facing tons of pressure for sticking to deadlines and facing crunch periods that leave people battered and broken. With Game Freak having to kowtow to the demands of higher-ups at Nintendo and The Pokémon Company to hit that release window, delays weren’t an option for them, and they even cited various game development problems in interviews before the game launched. But people want their product and they don’t seem to care how they get it. If there’s something I hope the Pokémon fanbase can learn following all this, is that there’s a big difference between voicing concerns over something you love, and harassing people that are trying to make the best of a bad situation. Looking at the bigger picture, Sword and Shield’s “Dexit” debacle isn’t the biggest gaming controversy of the year, but it was the one that affected me the most and it kind of puts a damper on ending the year strong.

TO THE FUTURE!

I’d rather NOT end on a downer though, so looking towards the future, if 2019 is any indication, there’s a lot to be excited for in 2020. For starters, we already know of a lot of hotly anticipated games set to hit next year, most of which seem to be targeting March…g-great! From the long-awaited Final Fantasy VII remake (or…part of it anyway), to Cyberpunk 2077, we also have what are set to be the swansongs of the PS4, The Last of Us Part 2 and Ghost of Tsushima. At year’s end, the PS5 and uh…Xbox…will hit store shelves and while there’s still a LOT we don’t know about either machine, be it specs, features or launch lineup, a new console launch is always cause for celebration. New possibilities! Classics in the making! A clean slate! 2020 will likely be a year to remember just on that alone.

The world of gaming is one I’m always invested in; there’s a lot of grimy stuff I’m not partial to, but plenty of good sprinkled throughout. Every passing year I see many new, innovative games come out of small, passionate developers who want to keep pushing the medium forward. Certain larger companies have also started on a “redemption arc” of sorts, with Capcom leading the charge. The “Big Three” routinely have new and exciting things to show, and we’re at a point where the video game industry is fully ingrained into popular culture. eSports continue to grow and expand, we’re getting rare video game films that don’t suck like the Detective Pikachu movie, and looking back on the last decade, things have come a long way. The greater focus on online continues to allow us to connect and play with others, and the last few years have had more conversations surrounding Cross-Play between the major competitors. If Microsoft and Nintendo can work together, who knows what can be accomplished! We’ve seen the medium mature, or at least attempt to mature, and variety has become more important than ever. After years of dull, grey shooters littering the market, games are allowed to be colorful again! We see studios pushing for diversity, for games with greater focus on mature themes, and while we still have a long way to go in a lot of areas, progress is being made. If Kratos, the God of War, can learn to chill out and become a (moderately) better person, then there’s hope for the medium yet, and with a new console generation and new decade waiting for us, 2019 lets us end on a relatively high note.

Here’s to a great 2020.

-B

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