#absolutely NOT BILLDIP. stay away from me

[emfleaa]

“Maybe telling Pinetree that wasn’t such an amazing idea, considering how the kid stiffens and gulps, still panting out breaths. “I can’t! I can’t do this, I can’t!” Then the boy is bursting into frenzied tears, wailing. The kid buries himself into Cipher, holding him so tightly that Bill is almost concerned Dipper is trying to kill him . Pinetree sobs and sobs and sobs , begging for his sister, his mother, his father, his great uncles for help. To make this nightmare end, to be left alone from this torment.

Bill doesn’t know what to do. He just stands there stiffly, staring down at the boy who’s pressed his face into his shirt to try and hide as he cries. Something within him aches. He hates it. Awkwardly, he reaches and pats Dipper’s shoulder slowly and lightly, face scrunched in discomfort. “Uh.. there…there..” Cipher grimaces. The kid sniffles sharply, clinging to him for dear life. “I want to go home.” Pinetree chokes out.”

scene from chap 32 of my fic.

[marshonthemellow-primary]

hi so i read your billdip pirate fic and its really good but idk if youre going to continue it so could you please let me know? sorry if im being pushy but im kinda in fanfic limbo here rn lol

oh my god yes hi I didn’t expect anyone to ever find my tumblr again let alone message me

ye I’m probably not going to update the fic anytime soon??? I’m really really REALLY sorry about that… Fandom’s kinda dead and I’m actually working on an original novel now? (and also university #ripme) I’m super glad you like what I’ve managed to write though!!! 

If it’s any consolation, the ending I had planned involved Dipper and Bill somehow getting together (because I never managed to figure out how lmao) and cute fluff happened. Exhausted Dipper saying “fuck it” and straight up falling asleep in the pond with Bill, soaked to the bone, while Bill sings about his One True Love under the stars and moonlight because I am a DISGUSTING ROMANTIC SAP and everything.

But ANYWAYS, the plot was that Dipper would have to leave Bill in the pond for a few days while the Pines went out to explore the rest of the island but then LO AND BEHOLD Gideon has of course followed the Mystery Shack pirates to the island and finds Bill. He captures him and brings him back to his ship where he dumps him in a fairly sized aquarium in the Captain’s quarters? 

Then Bill overexerts himself by reaching out to Dipper via dreams. Dipper and the rest of his crew follow what directions Bill managed to tell them and stage an ambush attack to rescue Bill. It was going to be fairly EPIC with the mutineer half of the Mystery Shack crew having joined Gideon and wanting revenge and then Dipper dodging his way to the other side of the battlefield and breaking into the Captain’s quarters where he finds Bill in the aquarium (and maaaaaybe there was going to be a cheesy touching-palms-through-the-glass moment, we will never know). Then Gideon (of course, the little shit) interrupts, and actually I’ve never decided whether I really wanted him dead or not, and whether it would Dipper or Mabel that would kill him if I did. But anyways, Dipper gets Bill out and kinda like… just dumps him overboard?? very anti-climactic I weep.

Bill manages to sing the enemy pirates from the beach and into the ocean Gideon’s ship was anchored in. Whether they just kinda fall asleep or get eaten by the rest of the sirens is honestly just up to your own taste really.

Then I have absolutely no idea what happens. All I know is that first there’s The Angst because Dipper has to leave the island someday but Bill isn’t about to spend the rest of his life in an aquarium on the Mystery Shack just to stay with Dipper (once was quite enough thank you), so Dipper prepares to leave the island and Bill behind despite both their broken hearts. But when Dipper and the rest of the crew row back to the Mystery Shack, the other sirens ambush them again but only so that they can give The Shovel Talk™ to Dipper on Bill’s behalf. And then Dipper more or less runs back to Bill (and that just sounds so cheesy when said like that but I assure you it’s a Very Emotional Scene *snort*) and “convinces” him (it doesn’t take a lot of arguing, let’s be honest here) to leave with him on many many pirate adventures (and instead of being kept trapped in an aquarium, Bill would just swim alongside the ship until they’d get to a small deserted island Bill could live in while Dipper goes off and does his thing. Sometime during the story Bill would’ve gotten a magical item allowing him to use his dream powers to communicate with Dipper even from really really far away???? maybe idk).

There was a rough idea of a sequel maybe happening (obviously not going to be anymore) with a fairly important Mabifica storyline (as in, a good 50-50 split between billdip and mabifica). Pacifica would’ve basically been Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean 1 except with more Honest And Good Communication and Talking About Feelings with Mabel. The billdip storyline would’ve started with Dipper loosing dream-contact with Bill for (to his knowledge) no reason at all so of course he panics and gets the crew to divert course to Bill’s island ASAP only to discover that the idiot made a deal with some other supernatural creature (I don’t remember who it was but it was basically the Gravity Falls version of Ursula from The Little Mermaid) to get legs in exchange for his dream powers (instead of his voice I guess). Then it’s basically just Dipper trying to teach Bill how to be a Proper Human™ and Bill not having it. 

OH AND ALSO I just now remembered Bill had some Tragic Backstory™ to be revealed. Basically he was born in a lake up north (AKA the good ol’ US of A) where he lived a pretty decent life until some human settlers started up a village on one of the banks. The humans started fishing in the lake, of course, making it hard for the sirens to hunt themselves. So it was rough for a while but the sirens made do and left the humans well enough alone. But then one day there was a little child playing on the beach while Bill (still quite young) was also playing nearby and so, trying to make friends, Bill started singing.

I think we all know what happens next.

The child, of course, drowns. The villagers, outraged and grieving, took their boats out and hunted the sirens down (they’d also sing and laugh sadistically while doing so because That’s How I Roll). Bill is the only survivor, and that’s because his parents managed to free him from capture (by literally overturning the boat because I swear the entire family has No Chill). They urged him to swim as fast as he could to where the lake flowed into a river (that led to the ocean) and Bill watched as his mother was killed right in front of him before the rapids took him down. 

He then spent months travelling southwards, eating what little he could scavenge and cowering in fear of every new creature he saw (because any of them could be a predator, especially the ones with the sharp teeth) until Tad found him and brought him to live with the colony. 

AND THAT’S ALL FOLKS

I think there were more plot holes/mysteries to be solved in the fic but fuck me if I can remember them. Just ignore them really. The fic’s like 2-3 years old now idk.